#not to mention the way she looks at GIO

[aheathen-conceivably]

this goes without saying but team val 1000% ❤❤❤ -prev lesbian anon

We need tshirts…yall want tshirts? 🤣

But I mean, look at her, dude. Look at the way she looks at Jo. I cannot 😮‍💨

So, um, yeah. Gio babes you are in trouble. And Gio, babe, you are definitely in trouble.

[magics-neptunes-things]

Trouble

Hi guys!

So this come from a request I had several weeks before, but I deleted it like the dumbass I am :) Sorry dear Anon, but they were asking for a long story like the one I did for Alessia and Caitlin.

So here it is :) I hope you'll like it, it's a long one. And I haven’t proofread it, sorry for the mistakes I’ll do it later 🙃

Please enjoy ♥

TW : Pregnancy, Angst, Injuries, mention of breakup, concussion and I think it's ok like this. Please tell me if I forgot anything.

Even if you are from Spain, you are a figure from your youngest age at Arsenal. You are here since your 20 birthdays, and you just finished your seventh year in the north London. You have seen a lot of people coming and leaving, the last one leaving being of course Vivianne Miedema. It was a sad day honestly; you are anyway happy to see Mariona coming with you and Laia to extend the Spanish population in Arsenal. You are three now. Laia, Mariona and you.

You get along pretty great with all the people, even the new signings like Kyra or Alessia. In reality there only is one person with who you don’t really get along.

Leah Williamson.

It wasn’t like that at first, to be honest. You were coming from Real Madrid, but it was to run away from the RFEF and everything’s coming around. You talked about it with your Arsenal teammates, even in 2017 you already had several troubles right there.

Like your Spanish teammates, you sign the letter against the RFEF and like a lot of them you decide not to keep playing under those conditions. But like Mariona, Ona and Aitana, they promised you some changes and you trusted them. So you get back. How wrong you were. But it was too late to change your mind, too many things were engaged. It was in 2022.

Maybe it was at this point that Leah really became hostile towards you. At least she wasn’t afraid to show it off.

You are playing in the defense, usually just next to the same Leah. Like you said you weren’t really closed, but you were doing a great job together. A lot of things happened during those seven years, you have several breaks up with one intervening in 2022 after your ex-girlfriend, Gio, left for Everton and then Spain.

Late spring 2022 too, you got hurt and stayed away from football for several months. You chose to do your rehab in Spain, much to your teammates’ misunderstanding. You still came back several times to meet your doctors at Arsenal, but that’s all. You still managed to come back on the pitches for the World Cup and won it with Spain.

This year you weren’t injured so you were able to play all the games Jonas wanted you to, and you won several other things with Spain.

Which takes us now, at the beginning of a new season.

It was a little hard to come back in Arsenal’s training without seeing Viv. You started at Arsenal at the same year than her, with Beth too. Talking about Beth, it’s probably way harder for her. But you can’t approach her, Leah being always around and looking at you like she’s going to kill you.

You pass all your time with Laia and now Mariona, even if the girl seems to enjoy being able to see her girlfriend as long as she wants now. Which you don’t blame her for a second. You don’t miss Leah’s glare when you enter the gym training, rolling your eyes while Mariona fly to Lia.

You chose a machine next to Steph, who greats you with a smile. You smile back before starting your training, your mind maybe a little somewhere else. You were still training when Jonas comes to you to mumble something in your ear, asking you to follow him.

He takes you to his office, where you find other members of the staff too. That make you frown, but they smile at you from the start, probably to ease your mind.

“Hi, Y/N. We just wanted to see how you are doing?”

“I’m fine, thanks” you answer, always a little suspicious.

Well, it was before you spot Win, Arsenal’s dog, who comes to boop your hand with his nose. You smile and start to stroke him, looking back to the other people on the room when they start talking.

“How are things at home?”

“Oh… It’s pretty great actually, thank you”

You give them a sincere smile, who seems to convince them. It was Jonas who talk next.

“We just wanted to remember you that we have a daycare reserved for Arsenal in the building. Are you still sure that you don’t want that? It could be way easier for you.”

“No” you answer, shaking your head.

Here is the real reason why you were absent during several months. You had a baby. A non-wanted baby after a simple fling with a boy who live somewhere else in the country. He visits sometimes and take your kid for a day or two, but he still lives in South Shields and told you in the early hours of your pregnancy that he won’t be able to move on in London.

You didn’t ask him to do it and you didn’t want to move from London too. So the things settled like this and you manage your career and your baby as good as you can. Your parents come from time to time to help you with, too. But your mother is sometimes a little too much, honestly.

“And what about the fact to talk about it with your teammates?”

You shake your head one more time. Here is the other thing, you haven’t talk to any of the girl about your pregnancy. You don’t really know why, you were scared to be judged, even if you know that they almost all are really understanding and sweet. You had to inform the staff and you find a compromise by saying to the world that you were injured. Which was wrong.

“Maybe it could be easier too if th- “

“I said no”

They all share a look, but you stand your ground. Leah flows in your mind, you are pretty sure that she would be piss off about the situation and the mystery around it. And the idea of your little perfection being talking badly makes you sick, to be honest.

“Ok well, you can go back to training.”

You mumble a thank you, stroke Win a last time before getting up. You are a little angry about this conversation, this isn’t the first time they tried to make you talk about it to the other players. Maybe it could explain a lot of things to them, why you are late sometimes or why you look very tired several times too. Why you skip almost all the team’s bonding too.

Well, you probably wouldn’t come if you could, Leah’s here and you stay away from her as much as possible.

You are still angry when you find your teammates and you have never been a good person when it comes to hide your feelings. Everyone in the team can see it but you ignore the whispers and the looks exchanged.

They were now in the room where Jonas talks about strategy and new of the team for the team’s meeting. You go sit next to Mariona, who gently pushes you with her shoulder. You smile softly at her, before putting your head on her shoulder.

“I’m fine” you mumble.

Mariona knows, like Laia, but only because they are your Spanish teammates, and you couldn’t hide it from them during the World Cup or the Olympics. Safe to say that they all became aunties, with Alexia Putellas of course being the favorite one. She’s really great with kids.

You intercept a furious glare from Leah and arch an unimpressive eyebrow at her.

“Can’t she give it a rest from time to time?” you groan silently when Jonas enters the room too.

“Basta” Mariona mumbles back and you groan back.

It’s only when Jonas starts to talk that Leah turn her eyes and you sight softly, sitting correctly on your chair. You hate team’s meeting, it always at those moments that the tiredness comes harder. While you are in movements, it’s ok, you can manage it. But when you are supposed to stay still, it’s harder than anything. Thanks god, Mariona keeps crushing your foot when she feels your attention getting low.

You totally avoid Jonas for the rest of the day, but you couldn’t escape Leah during the training. You are on the same team during the mini-games and we can’t say that the agreement is very courteous.

“For God’s sake Y/N!” almost shout Leah when Caitlin managed to score after passing you.

“If you were in your position, I wouldn’t have to defend the entire field alone, Leah” you spit back.

“I was trying to score! I can’t do everything”

“The keyword being trying here” you snort.

Leah is furious, but you are too. The frustration of the conversation from this morning is still here and you aren’t able to cool off like you usually do. The blonde is now facing you, but you don’t move. You both have literally the same height and you are not afraid of her.

“At least I’m trying things, not like you. Always doing the same boring tricks every single day of your life.”

“What the fuck is your problem, Williamson?”

Just when you wanted to push her away from you, Katie is here to take you away from Leah, while Alessia does the same with Leah.

“Hey breath Mate, it’s just training yeah?”

You nod and take the bottle of water Laia is giving to you, taking several longs sips. You shouldn’t have reacted that way, but Leah is getting on your nerves. You don’t know what Alessia is saying to Leah, but the blonde answer something quickly and animatedly to her.

At the end of the training, Jonas takes Leah and you on the side, scolding both of you like children. You put your best poker face; arms crossed on your chest. There is a hint of challenge in your eyes when you look at the man. You are still piss of about the conversation from this morning. You had a deal about your pregnancy, and they still try to turn it in their way.

“Y/N can I give you a word alone?” he asks after her speech.

“Not again Jonas, I’m sorry. I really have to go.”

He sights and makes a gesture with his hand, to tell you to go. You don’t hesitate to go to the locker room, taking a quick shower before leaving the facility. Your baby is waiting for you in the daycare and you have to go as soon as possible.

“Y/N?”

You turn when you hear Mario’s voice and stop in your run to your car.

“Yeah?”

“You know about the team night this weekend?”

“Yeah?” you say one more time.

“It’s at Lia’s. And she asked me to make sure that you will come too.

You sigh and roll your eyes. Mariona as a guilty smile and shrug. You can perfectly picture how the conversation went, and you can’t help but being amused by it.

“Will Leah be here?”

“Probably. It’s at Lia’s.”

There is a beam of silence.

“Y/N, come on please. I’ll missed you.”

“What did Lia promised you if you make me come?”

“Nothing” Mariona laughs. “She just looked at me with those green doe eyes and she knows I can’t deny her anything.”

You sigh once again while rolling your eyes.

“Alright, I’ll be there. But I’m not passing the night.”

You haven’t exchanged a single word with Leah since your fight during the training. Unlike the other times, you don’t even look at her now, you just ignore her. Making like she doesn’t exist, even if there probably is another more mature way to deal with things. But you have to be mature every day, so if a teammate decides to shout at you without reason, you are just going to ignore her and that’s all.

Of course, Leah is here when you enter Lia’s house, looking stupidly attractive in her white top and jeans. But Laia immediately takes you by the arm to lead you in another part of the room. You don’t know if they planned something together, but you decide to ignore it.

“Where’s your little one?” Laia whispers softly.

“With his usual babysitter” you answer quietly. “He was asleep when I left, maybe he’ll sleep well tonight.”

There is a big hint in your voice telling Laia that you absolutely don’t believe it. Your son has the worst sleep in the world. Laia smiles and pat your back with affection, and you snuggle against her, never against hugs, kisses and a little of love.

“Can’t she keep her hands for herself?” Leah groans on the other part of the room.

Lia, who was sitting next to Mariona, laughs softly. She’s the first-person Leah goes when she wants to grumble about you, but the Swiss woman never took it seriously. Until your fight the other day, you never have a word against each other, to be honest.

“Just stop looking at her” Lia smiles.

“Hard to do when she’s so noisy”

“You’re acting in bad faith” Lia points, making Mariona smiles next to her.

Leah snorts and drag her attention somewhere else in the room. Katie and Caitlin are giggling on a sofa, thanks god there are people as single as her in this team too. Leah was thinking about getting up to find Alessia and Lotte when Mariona talks.

“When are you going to do something about your crush for her anyway?”

Leah is so stunned that she looks at Mariona blankly for almost one minute.

“I’m sorry?”

“Don’t look surprised. The sexual tension between you two is hard to miss. You fancy her and it’s ok, really. Just do something about it.”

“I don’t fancy her” Leah seems really outraged. “She’s so annoying and full of confidence, it gives me the ick. Plus, she can’t stop to touch everybody, even people she knows are with someone, just like you.”

Leah’s looking at Mariona, who arch her eyebrows. It’s Lia who answer something at that though.

“She’s Spanish, Love. They are just touchy” Lia shrugs.

“We are” Mariona confirms with a knowing smile towards Lia.

“You both are disgusting.”

“At least I’m being disgusting with someone else, I’m not just starring at a girl pretending hating her.”

“I’m not pretending” Leah growls before getting up.

From your point of view, you just see Leah getting up, complaining something that no one can really understand. You watch Lia and Mariona talking before Laia takes your attention again by asking you a question. You are now sitting with Stina and Frida, in addition to Laia and you were casually talking with a glass of alcohol in your hand.

The night went pretty great, you don’t drink a lot and you are having a lot of fun, catching up with your teammates. You talk to a lot of them, usually going away from Leah. You don’t realize that she’s looking at you from time to time, you are still ignoring her. It’s hard for you, you have to admit. Every time you spot some blonde hairs, your eyes always turn in her direction.

“Oh, I have to take this one” you frown, picking your phone from your pocket.

It’s the babysitter and it’s never good when you received a call from her. Usually, she’s able to manage your son’s cries or behavior.

“Hello?” you answer when you are on the other room.

“Hi Miss, I’m sorry to disturb you… But you probably need to come home.”

You feel your blood freeze in your veins, hearing this poor girl explaining to you that your son caught his feet in the carpet while wanting to join his babysitter in the living room after waking up.

You are livid when you end up your call before turning around, just to face Leah. You swear inside your head but for once she’s looking at you with something else than disdain. She seems concerned.

“Are you ok?” she asks.

“I… Can you get me Mariona or Laia? Please.”

She looks at you several seconds before nodding. You saw her form going in the living room while you are on your phone, asking for an Uber.

“Y/N? Que passa?”

Mariona’s voice startle you, but you are relieved to realize that Leah hasn’t follow her. Even if your friend is talking in Spanish and Leah probably don’t talk a single word, even if she likes to go to Ibiza on holidays.

You explain to Mariona what is happening in a quick Spanish, going to grab your coat when your Uber informs you that he’s coming in five minutes. The Balearian promises that she will say goodbye to Lia and the others for you and just with that, you left the house.

You took your son and his big bump on the hospital, where you pass the night. The doctors decided to keep him under observation in case of concussion. You kept Mariona and Laia informed and ring his dad too. You feel a little alone, sitting on that awful plastic chair while your son is peacefully sleeping on his bed.

You almost regret refusing Mario’s offer to come with you, but it was her girlfriend’s party. And you would have need to explain a lot of things to the others.

You skip the training two days later, wanting to stay with your son. He’s good to be honest, but you prefer not to take any risks with his health. He’s still little after all, he’s not even two years old. And seeing him in pain just break your heart.

Laia visited you and brought you some groceries and fun things for your little man. He likes when Laia or Mariona are visiting, he seems to love talking in Spanish more than English.

He was already sleeping when someone knock on your door that night and you hesitate before getting up to open the door. You aren’t waiting for anyone rand you aren’t in the mood for some canvassing.

But it isn’t someone wanting to sell you some assurance who you face when you finally open your door. It’s Leah.

You look at her blankly.

“What are you doing here?”

There is no harm in your question, almost no one came to your apartment since your delivery. You changed one of your guestrooms for a nursery, where your baby is sleeping right now.

“I don’t know. I just… You weren’t in training today” Leah shrug.

“You could have text me” you point.

“Would you have answer me?”

There’s a beam of silence.

“Probably not” you smirk before sighing when you realize that Leah isn’t moving. “So, why are you worried for me?”

“I’m not worried about you” she snorts. “I’m your captain, I need to check on my players.”

“You could have asked Jonas” you shrug.

“After our little commitment from the other day, I wasn’t sure that he would have answer something to me”

You exchange another look before you sigh one more time and let her come inside your apartment. She came here several years ago, so it’s not a surprise for her. Not a lot of things have changed, and you are a little neat freak, so there isn’t any toy on your living room.

“You can sit” you point your couch.

“Why are you whispering?” Leah whispers back.

“I’m not whispering” you whisper.

You are whispering. You really hope that your son is dead asleep and will not hear that you are having a late visitor.

Leah groan in frustration and briefly press her hands on her eyes while sitting on your couch. She then raises her head again and looks at you, sitting on the arm of the same couch.

“Look Y/N, I know things are a bit tensed between us for several months now…”

“Yeah, I still don’t know why. Just saying.”

Leah bites her lips and looks at the windows, probably trying to sort her thoughts in the right order. You are really intrigued, you never really understood why Leah’s behavior changed with you. You only have assumptions, but nothing to be sure of.

“Would you understand if I… - “

“Mamá?”

Holly shit. Leah turns so quick to the voice coming from the entry of the living room that you actually don’t see her making the move. You ignore the strange feeling in your throat and turn yourself to your son, putting the sweetest smile on your face.

“Que passa Cariño?”

He reaches out to you while you approach him, and you don’t hesitate to take him in your arms.

“Who dat?” he mumbles, switching automatically in English, his face half-hiding behind your shoulder.

“It’s Leah, you saw her on telly, do you remember?”

He nods and Leah waves at him still under the chock.

“Number 6”

“Sí Cariño.”

His big eyes are looking at her with intensity and curiosity, but it’s not the time for him to do that.

“I’ll take you back to bed” you inform him.

He nods again and wave back at Leah. You don’t have the courage to look at her and take all your time to put the toddler to sleep, even if he falls back asleep very quickly. You almost hope that Leah would have left when you come back in your living room. But of course, she’s still here.

“So… This was why you were whispering” Leah finally comments after several minutes of silence.

You roll your eyes and let you fall on the couch. Leah knowing your secret is the worst thing honestly, if you had to choose someone on the team you definitively wouldn’t have chosen Leah.

You must look desperate, because when Leah talks to you again, it’s with the most caring voice ever.

“Look, your secret is safe with me. I won’t tell anyone, I swear.”

You just have to look at her eyes to know that you believe her. Your eyes follow her hand when she puts it on your knee, and you remember the first months of your arrival in Arsenal. Leah was sweet and caring with you too. You were getting along so great. This gesture makes you realize that you actually miss it.

“Thank you” you mumble.

“Who else know?” she asks softly.

“Mario and Laia, and I have to tell the staff obviously” you sigh softly. “And the players of my national team know too, it was impossible to hide during the World Cup. The fans assume that it was Mateo’s cousin.”

“That’s why you went to Spain during your recovery” Leah realizes aloud, before frowning. “Wait, you weren’t really injured, were you?”

“No” you sigh. “But my pregnancy wasn’t really wanted, and I panicked. I needed to go back to my parents, and they helped me with it. Then he was born and now he’s here. I sometimes want to tell you all but it’s harder everyday and I really wanted to protect him from the media and stuff. But the staff wanted me to talk to you all for several weeks now”

“Is that why Jonas calls you to his office sometimes?”

“Yeah” you breath, still annoyed. “We had an agreement with me not talking about my son but they try to make me change my mind.”

“Oh.”

You raise your eyes on Leah, to see that she seems a little uneasy and thoughtful at the same time. You don’t know why you are explaining all of this to Leah, even if she knows now, it’s still Leah.

“I was sure that you had something happening with him.”

“With Jonas?” you ask with disbelief and grimace when she nods. “Ew. No.”

Leah laughs slightly and you can feel her looking at you with attention. It’s maybe the first time she’s looking at you without animosity from a long time now. You feel yourself blush slightly, but she doesn’t point it.

“I have like a billion of questions” she admits.

“I’ll answer them, but I need a drink before. What do you want?”

“Same thing as you.”

You come back with two Spanish beer, and you smirk when you watch Leah looking at the name of the brand on the bottle before drinking.

“Who is the father?”

“You don’t know him. He was a random hookup after my breakup with Gio. I was trying to forget it; I didn’t expect to forget it that way though. He lives in South Shields.”

“So, you raise him alone?” Leah frowns.

“No, he comes from time to time. Sebastian loves him and he’s great with him, but he has his life in South Shields, and I couldn’t ask him to let everything down to come in London. And the closest place to South Shields would have been Manchester, there was no way that I leave Arsenal for United.”

Leah has a vague grimace, and you can’t help but smile. You heard her too many times talking about the fact that Alessia left the wrong team to come for the best. She then drinks her beer, seeming to register what she just learned.

“Does Gio know?”

You shake your head before answering.

“I haven’t talk to her since the breakup” you mumble.

“Would you have liked to if you hadn’t been pregnant?”

“I don’t know, Leah.”

She nods once again, looking lost in her thoughts one more time. You take advantage of it to look at her really for the first time for ages. You always loved her eyes and found the wrinkles around them very cute. But Leah is beautiful, it’s not something new. She isn’t fancied by dozens of fans for nothing.

“Sebastian is a pretty name”

She suddenly raises her head on you, catching you staring at her. Well, almost checking her, you have to admit.

“Oh, thanks”

You clear your throat nervously before talking again. You didn’t realize how hard you were staring at her and you hate her smirk and the cockiness with which she raises her eyebrows.

“I should go. I’m sorry I showed up like this without warning and kind of force you out with your secret.”

“Don’t worry, I’m used to it” you roll your eyes, thinking about Arsenal’s staff.

“I can tell a word to Jonas if you want me to. Asking him to leave you alone.”

“I can defend myself” you frown.

“I know.”

Her answer makes your annoyance subside as quickly as it had ridden. She just wants to help; she’s not judging you. You look at her eyes maybe a little longer that what you should before smiling at her softly.

“I’ll ask you if I need you, ok?”

“Deal.”

Leah stands up and you are a little sad to see her leave, but you should probably go to bed too. You follow her to the door, opening it for her. She passes the doorstep before turning in your direction.

“Will you be at training tomorrow?”

“Yeah. Sebastian is going back to daycare.”

Leah smiles and before you can react, she kisses your cheek before going to her car. The way your cheek burn stupidly even minutes after annoys you prodigiously.

After that night, you realize that Leah is looking at the best way to recreate the friendship you had in the first place. She’s awkward sometimes but that make you laugh. The others have realized that something changed between both of you, and you informed Mario and Laia about what happened. It makes sense for them, but not for the others.

Leah comes from time to time at your house with a coffee for you and a hot chocolate for Sebastian for breakfast. You like those moments together and after several moment of shyness, Sebastian is now really at ease with the blonde.

“He looks so much like you” Leah points one morning while you are sitting to drink your coffee while Sebastian is playing on the ground with his little cars, his bump almost impossible to see now.

“Well, I hope so, after all the hours I worked for him to go out of me” you roll your eyes.

Leah imitates you before answering.

“Of course, he looks like you. But he has the same eyes color, the same mimic too. The only thing changing is that he doesn’t have your Spanish accent while talking English.”

“What?! I don’t have an accent anymore” your frown deeply.

“Of course you have” Leah laughs.

You keep frowning. You are living in London since almost seven years, you are pretty sure that you haven’t any accent anymore.

“Don’t make that face” Leah still laughs. “It’s kind of cute and hot honestly.”

You raise your eyebrow while looking at her. Does Leah just say you are hot? You can’t say anything else though, because Sebastian is coming to you with a frown and one of his cars in one hand, a wheel in another. You look at him wordlessly handing it to Leah, who puts it back without hesitation.

Others changes came in your relationship with Leah. Your favorites people to cuddle have been Lia and Beth, before Alessia and Kyra came to Arsenal. Leah seems surprised when you put your legs on hers for the first time during a team bonding while you were sitting on a couch, but you didn’t really think about it. You just did what you wanted without thinking.

Thanks god, Leah’s rigidity faded as quick as she came. Since that day she’s the one initiating hug from time to time.

And she takes the habits not to prevent you when she comes to your house for breakfast or in another moment of the day. She usually doesn’t come at evening because she knows that Sebastian might be sleeping.

It was another day like the other when Leah comes to your house with her bag of pastries and your hot drinks. She rings the bell like every time but she’s not facing you when the door is open. She’s facing a man around your age, looking at her with the same surprise as she is.

“Who are you?” he asks, and Leah arch her eyebrow.

“Who are you?” she snaps back.

She doesn’t like the way he’s standing on your apartment like he owns it. She read to many news items and watched to many dark television reports about men killing women.

But she doesn’t have the time to get scared a little longer, because there is suddenly a sweet, happy voice that she knows very well.

“Leah!”

Sebastian is running from the living room for Leah, jumping on her knees. Leah takes him in her arms and hug him, before looking again at the man.

“Where’s Y/N?”

“Mamá is in the bathroom” Sebastian says happily, looking in the bakery bag with appetite. “Did you buy me Mince pies?”

“Sur, Buddy.”

With his pastry in her hand, Sebastian runs back inside the apartment to sit at the dining table. Leah follows him and was starting to get really annoyed by the other man in the room just when you arrive.

“Leah! Hi.”

She smiles at you and let you kiss her cheek with a side hug. You then put your attention on your son and his pastry, obvious of the tension in the room.

“So, you met Jeff?” you ask, cleaning Sebastian’s cheeks.

“Not really” Leah mumbles, sitting next to Sebastian.

You only raise now your gaze to realize that Leah and Jeff are actually looking at each other from the corner of their eyes with almost hostility.

“Jeff is Sebastian’s dad. He came for the weekend to pass time with Sebastian” you explain.

“’e ‘o ‘o o’ie” Sebastian says, mouth full of food.

“Try after chewing your food Cariño” you roll your eyes at him playfully.

“We’re going to watch a movie and then watch Mamá and you play” he pips up with happiness.

“That sounds good Bud’.”

Leah smiles but you can say that it’s not a real smile. Jeff finally sits next to you, and you manage to entertain a conversation between the four of you, very helped by Sebastian. Around ten, Jeff and Sebastian both left to the cinema, and you hug him tight and verify his bag before letting him leave with his dad.

“I’ll keep you update about our day” Jeff says, kissing your cheek goodbye. “See you, Leah.”

Leah grumbles something back and you don’t lose a second to have a real and long look at her once the door is closed.

“What?” Leah moody ask.

“You tell me. What’s happening to you?”

“Nothing” she shrugs.

You hum in answer, not trusting her for a single second. But you don’t want to push too much. You offer her another tea before cleaning the kitchen and making your bag for the game. Leah’s here so she will drive you to the stadium.

“Where is he staying? During the weekend?”

“In the guestroom, why?”

“He’s sleeping at your house?!”

“…Yeah?”

Leah doesn’t answer. She doesn’t like it. She doesn’t like the way he kissed your cheek like you’re still his, even if you never have really been. She doesn’t like him around you, sleeping in the same house as you are.

“Leah what’s happening?”

You are lost. Leah seems angry but you don’t understand why. She doesn’t answer once again, only looking at you when you put your hand on her arm. You can see torment in her eyes, but you still don’t understand why.

“You know he still fancy you, right?”

“What?” you laugh softly.

But you realize quickly that Leah isn’t joking. The way she looks at you make you feel something funny in your stomach. It’s intense.

“It’s nothing like that between us. We are friend for Sebastian, nothing more. Nothing happened since the night Sebastian was conceived” you say with a comforting voice.

Leah hums once again, her brows still frowning. You erase them with a tentative finger, trying to read her eyes.

“Why are you asking that, Le?”

“Nothing, he was just acting like you’re together or at least like he lives here too.”

“Well he’s not. You or Mario and Laia are here way more often than him.”

Leah still seems moody when you left to take her car to go to training, but at least she’s talking to you and not sulking.

“I was wondering” Leah starts after you chose a music to listen during the trip “What’s your type? I mean it’s obviously tattooed, blond and disgusting bodybuilder for the men, but what about women?”

“He’s not a bodybuilder Leah” you laugh while rolling your eyes. “And for women, you saw my ex-girlfriend, didn’t you?”

“Yes, but Gio has brown eyes and hair. And I totally saw you with a blond before.”

She’s right. You bite your lips softly while trying to find the best way to explain how you “choose” your crushes.

“It’s not a physical preference with women. It’s more… The charism, you know? It can be someone with blond hair and clear eyes, or a brunette. It doesn’t really matter.”

“I see” Leah answer thoughtfully, before smiling. “Who was your first celebrity crush?”

“Dianna Agron” you answer without any hesitation.

How much you are sure about it makes Leah laugh, and you can’t help but smirk back. You were kind of obsessed with her in Glee, I mean have you seen that girl? It would probably be strange not to be, in your humble opinion. You don’t have time to ask Leah’s, because the blonde is parking the car in the stadium. You maybe will be able to ask her the question back after the game.

You don’t let your son coming a lot to the games, there is really less spectators than for the men’s games and you don’t want him to be exposed to someone from the staff or something. But you can’t always say no to him when he begs you to come. Today Jeff is here, so it can easily pass for a dad-son moment to anyone.

You discreetly great him with a wave during your training, internally rolling your eyes when you see him with a bucket of chicken nuggets and some chips, even if it’s like three in the evening. But after that you are focused on your training, you are on the starting eleven today and you have to be more ready than ever.

The game was hard, but it went pretty great. Leah and you managed to block almost all the shoots took by the other team and when they passed, your goalkeeper stopped the ball every time. Caitlin and Mariona scored today, with Alessia being rested. Jonas informed you that you will be sub off around the seventy minutes during the half-time and you just nod softly. You are sad not to play every minute of the game while your son is here, but he knows now that you are sub to be rested to be able to play better the other games.

You knew that at the next stop during the game you will be switch, so you decide to play as best as possible when you see that a ball is coming across the field, for a header from an opponent. You jump to try to take it first, but your head is soon hits by something very strong who made you groan in pain. You fall on the ground without being able to stop your fall, pain radiating in your head.

You are not aware of the opposite player lying somewhere close to you, in pain too. You hear the footstep of the other players around you and you open your eyes just to see Lotte’s short crouch next to you.

“Do you hear me?” Lotte says.

There are other hands on you, stabilizing you on your side. You groan in answer to Lotte, who let a breath of relief.

The pain is awful, but you know that somewhere in the crowd there is your son who is probably mad concerned. You don’t want him to see you like this. Mariona has been subbed for Chloe some minutes before so she’s not on the pitch anymore. There is just one person who can help you now.

“Leah” you whisper.

You can’t hear yourself, so you are really surprised when you hear her answer, from behind you.

“I need to get up” you mumble, rolling slowly on your back.

“It’s not a good idea” one of the medical team answers.

Opening your eyes is painful, thank God there isn’t any sun but only grey sky under you. Leah’s frame block a little of the light, which is good too. You look for her eyes before talking again.

“I need to get up. I can’t worry…”

You don’t finish your sentence, but you see that Leah understands quickly. Her eyes went just for a second where Sebastian is seated with her dad before nodding.

“I’ll help you” she says, frowning. “It’s ok, you have to take her inside, she was going to get sub off anyway”

With Leah and Lia’s help, you managed to get up and went straight to the infirmary. Laia and Mariona came with you, sitting quietly with you while you are being checked by the team.

“Do you want me to go take your things? You can maybe write to Jeff like this?” Laia proposed in Spanish.

“Yes please” you whisper back.

She pats your hand when she sees you wince because of the pain before getting up to close discreetly the door between her. Mariona holds your other hand during all the time and when Laia came back with your phone, you had to ask her to write to Jeff for you.

You both decide that you will meet at your flat after the game, you don’t know if you have a concussion for now, but it’s still better for your son. Jeff says to you that he wasn’t really happy with this thing, but that he will manage to busy his mind. You know he will.

Several minutes later, there are knocks on the door and you mumble a vague “Come in”. Leah comes inside almost hesitantly.

“How are you?” she asks, standing awkwardly next to the door.

“Tired. I have a concussion but other than that I’m ok” you answer to her.

She nods softly and you close your eyes again, looking to have a little of relief for your head. You don’t see Laia and Mariona exchanging a look before the Mallorcan talks to you again.

“We are going to get a shower. Do you need a lift to go home?”

“I can take her home” Leah interjects. “If you’re ok with that, of course.”

“Yeah” you answer only.

Mariona hums while Laia kisses your cheek.

“Call me if you need anything yes?”

“I will Mario, don’t worry”

You snap her hand when she pinches your cheek, making her laugh. You can’t help but smile back, sitting a little more when they are gone. This time Leah comes closer to you, and you can see in her eyes how worry she is.

“I’m fine” you assure her.

She groans in answer, and you almost roll your eyes again but stop the move before it’s too late. The medical staff comes right after, with a paper with the medication you will need for your recovery.

“You can’t be alone at home. Do you have someone to look after you?”

You frown softly, Sebastian can obviously not take this role. And you will need someone to take a look at him probably.

“My… A friend is at home for now. He’s supposed to stay until tomorrow late afternoon” you assure.

“No way” Leah snorts. “I will stay at your home to take care of you.”

There is now way in Leah’s mind that Jeff takes this opportunity to come closer of you in any way. You accept her offer (even if you don’t really have the choice) and with that you are walking to Leah’s car. Well, it’s more like Leah is carrying you and both of your bags.

Like you were imagining, Sebastian is still up when you come home, still wearing his Arsenal kit and looking by the windows to see you come in. He jumps in your legs when you arrive inside, and you take all your strength and concentration to take him in your arms.

“Hi buddy. Did you enjoy the game?” you ask while Leah ruffle his hair.

“Mama hurt” he mumbles, hiding his face in your neck.

“Yes, but I’m alright, ok? Have you eaten something?”

“Nothing since his fries at the stadium” Jeff intervenes. “I wanted to see if you want to eat with us before starting to cook something”

“I’m not really hungry” you shrug.

“The doctor said that you have to eat, Y/N” Leah remembers you.

You sigh softly and look at Sebastian for several seconds. He need a bath and you definitively need a shower too. Then you can all eat together before heading all in bed, that should be something possible to do, right?

“Leah, would you like to help Sebastien with his bath while I’m taking a shower? So Jeff you can cook us something, honestly just pasta with one pot of salsa I have in the cupboard would be great.”

You will see tomorrow for vegetables for your son. Sebastian seems happy to learn that Leah will give him his bath, but you see Jeff frown softly behind her.

“Is Leah staying for diner?”

“Mh in fact, Leah is staying for several day to have a look at me” you shrug.

Sebastian takes your hand to drag you to the bathrooms, so you miss the rejected look of Jeff and the happy smirk that Leah addresses him. You probably would have rolled your eyes, which is still a very bad idea.

Thirty minutes later, Sebastian is finishing his second plate while you struggle to eat more than five pastas. You can see Leah’s concerned gaze, but you start to get really tired, and you would kill to be able to go to sleep right now.

“You should go to sleep” Leah frown while looking at you.

“But Sebastian…”

“I can put him to bed” Jeff says. “It wouldn’t be the first time.”

Leah proposed to wash the dishes, so you just say goodnight to your son before going to your bedroom. You change for a pajama and go to a quick toilette before going back to your room and your bed.

You recognize Leah’s path in front of your room when you realize that you are the worst host ever.

“Leah” you whisper-shout.

You can’t help but smile when she passes her head through your door.

“I’m sorry I just realize that you don’t have anything to sleep in” you bite your lips. “You can take something from my stuff”

“Thanks” Leah just answer, turning to your furniture to take some short and t-shirt.

“Also, I hope you were not expecting to sleep on the couch, are you?”

Leah froze before turning in your direction, looking a little lost. Even with your brain being a new kind of jell-o, you can only notice how cute she looks.

“I did. Why?”

“Sebastian might wake up this night and maybe Jeff will take him there. If you don’t mind, you can sleep with me?”

“Oh.”

Oh? You arch an eyebrow at her reaction. It’s almost hurtful to be honest, but Leah seems quickly to find a way to recompose herself.

“Well like this I can have a real look at you”

“If you say so” you grumble, before turning your back at her and closing your eyes.

You don’t see Leah’s affectionate smile when she looks at you before she changes her clothes for yours and went to the bathroom. She wasn’t expecting you to ask her to sleep with you when your ex is around. She smirks when she thinks that she beats him there and he probably will get mad about it.

When she joins you in the room again, you weren’t far from sleeping but you still have a pout on your face. Leah lays down next to you and have to put an hand on your hips to kiss your cheek because you still have your back turning to her.

“Sleep well Princess Spain” she smiles.

How can you not smile at that? You do smile, softly.

“Night, Lee.”

“Wake me up if you need something yeah?”

She kisses your cheek again and you hum, moving a little for your back to be press against her. She lets you, even passing her arm around you. You fall asleep very quickly like this.

Like the doctor’s recommendation, Leah wakes you up every three hours just to be sure that you still have all your head working correctly. It’s only when you menace her to make her sleep in Sebastian cradle that she stops.

The next morning, when you wake up, Leah isn’t next to you anymore. You are a little lost, your head is pounding awfully, and you grab you look at your phone to know what time it is. It was before realizing that Leah hides it because you are not supposed to look at screens for now.

You were about to get up when the door of your room is open, just for Leah to be entering.

“Oh, hi. I didn’t know you were up” she says.

“Not for long” you mumble. “Where’s Sebastian? What time is it?”

“Your ex took him to have breakfast somewhere and go to a playground, the weather is nice” Leah explains. “How’s your head?”

“Hurt”

She smiles with sympathy and give you some pills and a bottle of water. You probably haven’t saw her so careful with someone when she helps you to sit, unless with Sebastian maybe. She lets you take your medicine before pressing her hand on your forehead.

“You don’t have fever. Are you feeling dizzy?”

“A little” you admit.

“You should probably eat something. What do you want?”

“Just bring me some of cereals who are at Sebastian” you shrug.

But Leah frowns softly.

“You need a real breakfast”

“You don’t know how to cook” you point with a small smirk.

But you just challenged Leah who snorts and gets up from your bed, answering something like “Try me” before leaving the room. You don’t see her for twenty minutes, time you used to get fresh and change your clothes.

You look at the tray she brings you. Fresh press orange juice, some fruits and grilled toast with butter. You realize that some of toasts are plain and when Leah comes back in bed with you, you understand that she will eat with you.

“I’ve read that you guys are eating bread with tomato in the morning. Sorry but I don’t know how to do that” she says while putting the orange juice in your hands.

“Have you typed What Spanish people eat for breakfast? on Google?”

You just wanted to tease her, but when you realize that her cheeks are suddenly a little pink, you can’t help but laugh. Leah doesn’t seem to take it bad though.

“No. More like How to feed a beautiful Spanish girl in the morning”

“Flattery will get you everywhere”

She just smiles, probably wanting to let you enjoy your breakfast. You are not really hungry to be honest, but you know you need to eat something. Leah seems to enjoy the strawberries, so you lot them to her, eating slowly your toasts. From the outside you probably look like a couple, and you can’t explain why you like that idea so much. You raise your eyes on Leah who smiles at you, and you smile back, trying to ignore the strange feeling she cause in your belly.

It isn’t new, honestly. You don’t know when it started, but it’s not the first time. You already felt your heartbeat go faster when she hugs you or kiss your cheek. Trickle on your skin where she touched you. You are a casual cuddly and touchy person, and you might have taken advantage of it to be closer to Leah.

She doesn’t comment your lack of talking, probably putting it on your concussion. You are feeling pretty great for someone who has one, but probably because it’s a light one.

“Do you need anything else?” Leah asks when you’re finished.

“Cuddles?”

She smiles and get on her back, and you don’t waist a second to almost straddle her, your head on her shoulder, one of your legs between hers and your hand stroking her arm. To be honest, you are almost entirely lying on her.

“Thanks for taking care of me” you whisper, your eyes lost somewhere facing you.

“I wouldn’t have let anyone else take care of you.”

His fingers going up and down your spine would be enough not to make you realize what her words can mean. But your foggy brain seems to be able to do it anyway.

“Why?” you ask.

“Because I care for you, Missy”

She boop your nose with her finger. She could have put teasing in her voice, but there isn’t. She seems a little breathless, which is very strange for someone just lying in a bed. It feels like it’s time for some confessions, so you decide to push your luck a little more.

“Lee?” you continue when she hums. “Why did you hate me?”

“I didn’t hate you”

Her answer seems genuine, but you know that it’s not true. You groan when you roll your eyes, remembering too late that it’s better for you not to do it.

“You did, Leah. We reached a point where we never even say hello to each other. And I felt like even me breathing was annoying you.”

Leah’s lips stretch to a small smile. It was true, but she never hated you anyway. She just needs a way to explain to you without looking like crazy. You were waiting patiently for her answer, you never really understood Leah’s behavior with you.

“I just… Felt like you were turning yourself to anyone but me. You never really talked to me about what you were living with the RFEF, but you did with Viv, Lia or Katie. You weren’t touchy with me like you were with Beth or almost everyone around. Sur we were laughing together but I felt like you never considered me for me. Then Gio came and you were always together, ignoring the rest of the world.”

You frown hearing her confessions. You need some seconds to process all of this information and it’s not because of your concussions this time.

“Gio and I were always together because we were together” you point.

“I know!”

You hear her sights of frustration and feel her moving under you when she passes her hand in her hair. Her stroking in your arm has stopped and you miss them already. You don’t add anything for now, feeling like there is something else to come.

“Then you got your injury and you decided to go to Spain, like if we weren’t enough here. And I have to learn all the shit you got through your damn federation like the public, with your petition and then you finally came back to the team. But I still didn’t know why.”

Even if you don’t know if there is a place more comfortable than Leah’s arms, you push yourself to sit anyway and have a better look at her. She’s still frowning, of course she is. You let your eyes take a look at her face, her eyes, before answering something. You don’t know what you could answer to all that, to be honest. Maybe it’ll better to start from the start.

“I never was touchy with you because I didn’t know how you will react. I know it’s different from Spain, Beth has always been extravagant so I knew she wouldn’t mind. I felt like touched depraved honestly, not in the sexual way but I missed hug and just display of affection” you shrug, playing with a piece of bedsheet.

You can feel Leah’s gaze on you, but you are lost in your thoughts and says, looking only at the bedsheet you are playing with.

“For Gio, we had a good time together but if I knew she will break up with me as soon as she wasn’t here anymore, I wouldn’t have lost time with her. She’s nice, but I was looking for something serious, not just a fling to pass time, you know?”

Leah nods softly.

“When I heard about your breakup I wanted to come to you, but I didn’t know how to approach you anymore. And then Jonas announced us that you hurt yourself during a private practice and that you went back to Spain for recovery.”

You nod softly too, biting your lips softly.

“I didn’t want to talk to you about my pregnancy because we had all of those injuries. I was pregnant because of a one nightstand which wasn’t really clever of me. I didn’t have the courage to be judged by someone. And in Spain I had my parents, even if I had the right of a lecture first.”

Leah puts softly her hand on yours, making you look at her for the first time since you started talking. Her eyes are way softer that what you were expecting.

“I understand. I can’t speak for anyone, but I probably won’t have judge you. I’m not gonna lie though, given our tensed relationship, I don’t think I’ll be helpful with you.”

You smile softly, before shrugging. You still have the part with the RFEF to talk about, which you don’t really like. You are not fond of your new coach to be honest, but at least it’s a little better.

“And for the national team, like other I tried to stand up against them while signing that paper with the other girls. They tried to make us comes back for World Cup, making promises and everything. I called Alexia about it and she explained to me that if we don’t come back, they will call younger players. And I couldn’t let younger girls having to deal with all this shit. Ale managed to convince Ona, Mariona, Aitana and myself to come back. We fight to win, hopping that after being World Champions people will hear us more”

You frown too, not far from Leah’s habits. You hate what happened after the World Cup, all this fuss with the former president and Vilda.

“But people keep calling us traitor and were laughing about what happened to Jenni. Then we made this petition attesting that we won’t come back until the RFEF change, like our coach. They changed the coach but then we got forced to come back, they threatened to take away our professional player licenses if we didn’t come back.”

You shrug, still looking at Leah. She’s silenced for now, but you can see all things getting together in her eyes.

“So, I came back because I didn’t have the choice. We talked a lot, sometimes until like three in the morning, and things aren’t great honestly, but it gets better”

“That’s a lot to process” Leah says slowly.

“Yeah. And I had a baby who couldn’t sleep at night during that time” you add with a smirk.

Leah smiles back, her face getting softer when you mention Sebastian. You can’t miss the bond existing between the two, Sebastian adores Leah, and you are pretty sure that Leah likes him a lot back.

“It was hard, but I never had a single regret about my pregnancy. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“He’s a sweet boy” Leah confirms.

You watch her scratch her forehead before putting a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. She still seems thoughtful. You look at her while tilting your head, wondering what is still in her mind.

“What are you thinking about?” you ask softly.

“What would have been different if I was there for you instead of sulking stupidly.”

You shrug before biting your lips softly.

“Can I do one more confidence?”

“Of course.”

Leah sits in the bed too, her back against the bed.

“I had like the biggest crush on you on the first day at Arsenal.”

There is a blank before Leah laughs softly.

“You’re joking?”

“No”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

She seems almost outraged by that information but arch an eyebrow before answering.

“You had a girlfriend, Leah. And I’m pretty sure that neither of you would have been interested in a threesome.”

You laugh at Leah’s awkwardness and the grimace she makes soon after. But now that everything was spilled out, you feel a little better to be honest. Lighter. There is no more secrets between you. Or almost, because you still have that crush for her anyway.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you during those times” Leah says, softly stroking your hand now.

“It’s ok. I wasn’t here for you neither when you had your ACL and your breakup.”

Leah shrugs one more time and at this rate she will have done her shoulder-training exercises for the day.

“Plus, you are here now.”

“I am.”

She smiles this time and it’s hard not to have a crush for her when she smiles like this. Leah is a beautiful woman; you must have sore eyes if you don’t realize it. You found her beautiful even when you were at loggerheads, but now that you find back the personality you loved before, it’s even better.

“Would you like to-“ “I was wondering if-“

You talked at the same time, just to shut up at the same time too. You smile at her and she’s smiling too, but this time you are the first to talk.

“Sorry, go on.”

“I was wondering” Leah starts slowly “If you would go out with me one night?"

“Like, for a date?”

“Yeah?”

You really hope that it’s really happening and that you are not dreaming or something. You bite your lips softly before answering.

“I would love to.”

“Are you sure you will be ok?” you ask Mariona in Spanish for the hundredth time.

The usually calm and composed Spaniard sights and throw one of Sebastian’s toys at your head, the poor duck falling on the ground with a “quack”.

“Y/N I swear to God that if you are not leaving now, I will kick you out of your own house. Go get ready.”

You grumble something under your breath, roll your eyes when Mario shouts, “I heard you” and leave for the bathroom. You are already dressed, but you need to do your hair. Tonight is the night where Leah takes you out and you are more stressed than ever.

Mariona accepted to play the babysitter for Sebastian, and she will be sleeping in the guestroom if you are coming home late. You are not the kind of mom who lets you kid to go out usually, when you are not with him it’s because you are at training or at a game. It’s during the week so you were a little reluctant to ask the teen who usually babysit Sebastian.

When you confessed to Mariona and Laia they proposed to come, Laia hasn’t been able to come, but Lia must come soon to help Mariona. Which you find very cute and teased Mariona about. It’s only when she starts to tease you back about Leah that you stopped.

You are just finished to prepare yourself when the doorbell rings and you hear Sebastian’s footsteps running to the door.

“Leah!” he shouts happily.

You frown when you hear him call Leah a second time, but when you go to the living room you understand that it was in fact Lia who he was calling.

“Pwetty” he points you when he spots you coming in the room.

“Gracias mi Amor” you say, kissing his cheek.

“He’s right” Lia says when you great her with a hug. “Maybe I’ll change my Spaniard”

You blush, Leah glares at Lia and Mariona snorts. You then turn to Sebastian to tell him the last recommendations, like eat all his vegetables and to behave with Lia and Mariona. You finally get out of your house before Mariona does, turning in Leah’s direction with a slight strange nervousness.

“So… Where are we going?” you ask, playing with your fingers.

“You’ll see when we will be there” Leah smiles.

She puts a hand in your back to drive you to her car, which she starts as soon as you are both sitting inside. You smile when you hear Taylor Swift singing in the background and hums the melody. You are glad to realize that the conversation between both of you is still easy when Leah asks you a random question and it starts a small talk very appreciated.

You can help but look at Leah from the corner of your eyes, appreciating the way she is dress. Everything is perfect for her, but she’s really beautiful tonight. In fact, you say it to her when you are seated in the table of the new Italian restaurant Leah reserved, suggested by Alessia.

“You’re beautiful, by the way.”

“Thanks” she smiles casually. “I’ll say you are too, but Lia got ahead of me already.”

“She said I’m pretty” you smirk.

Leah laughs softly and you feel your stomach make a special squeeze. She seems so relaxed and when you remember how were things between you two months ago, it seems pretty unbelievable.

“You are beautiful” she says, looking at you right in your eyes.

Cursed be she and her incredible blue eyes. You are saved from fainting by the waitress who came with the menus. You chose to drink a little of wine, it’s not every day that you get out after all.

“It’s the first time I have a date since Sebastian is born” you confess like it was nothing, your eyes still fixed on the menu.

“Really?”

Leah seems genuinely surprised and you arch an eyebrow while looking at her.

“A pregnant woman or a woman with a baby then a toddler aren’t exactly what people are looking for” you shrug.

“Mh. Well, lucky me.”

She smirks and you smile back, trying to ignore the red creeping on your cheek. You like cocky Leah, you always had. You didn’t like when she was harsh and almost mean to you though, but it was time to forget about this moment. You are really happy to have another relationship with her now, even if it seems to be the start of something new.

The night went great, the food was delicious and the company amazing. You and Leah exchanged several longs looks when there is a blank in your conversation. But everything seems so fluid and you love it. You love the subtle flirt from Leah too. She makes you feel special, which you didn’t feel since a long time.

After sharing a dessert, it was time to going home. You don’t hesitate to accept when Leah proposes you a last drink at her house. Mariona informed you two hours ago that Sebastian is dead asleep after having his bath and eating her plate full of spaghetti.

Leah puts something on TV and you both sit on the couch just to ignore it. You are resisting to the urge to kiss her since you left the restaurant, but it’s becoming harder and harder every minute.

Leah was rambling about a random story about her mother’s dog when you finally crack. You just lean in without even taking the time to prevent her, your hand on her hips while you press your lips against Leah’s. She stays still and when you retreat yourself, she’s looking at you with wide eyes. Ok, maybe you read her behavior wrong.

You feel so ashamed that you would rather being struck by lightning right now.

“Madre mia Leah, I’m so sorry. I thought – “

But Leah doesn’t let you the time to add something else. She grabs your face with her both hands and drags you against her to kiss you. You are surprised, maybe less than Leah when you first kiss her, but you kiss her back and you definitely never feel something like that before.

Leah knows how to kiss, and you work on yourself not to jump on her. You follow the move when Leah lays down on the couch, your lips never detached from hers for a long time.  

“I wanted you to make the first move” Leah admits later, when you are cuddling on her couch. “I didn’t want you to feel any pressure”

You just hum and given Leah never refuse you a kiss since the first, you raise yourself to put a peck on her lips.

“Do you want to have the big talk now? About how we see our relationship, or do you want to wait?” the blonde asks you after that.

You frown softly, a little bit surprise by that question. You might have some random hookups at one point, but after your reciprocal confessions and tonight, for you it was more than obvious that you want something serious with her. So you may as well get it clear now.

“I am looking for something serious, I’m not going to lie. I have a toddler and I’m not interested in wasting my time, especially with you because I like you a lot.”

“Work for me baby” Leah smirks, before becoming more serious. “Another thing.”

“Yes?”

“I don’t share” she frowns.

“Okay?”

You don’t understand what she wants to say with it. I mean of course you understand what she means, but not in this situation. You are not really interested to have an open relationship.

“I’m not going to ask you to stop your arrangement with Jeff because it seems working for the three of you now, but it’s not because he’s sleeping at your house that he can say a word in your life or our relationship. And since now he better has his eyes in his pocket.”

You roll your eyes with a little smile. In your eyes, Leah is making a little too much with this story. You are sure that your ex doesn’t have a single interest in you, so you are not lying when you answer to Leah.

“There is nothing between Jeff and me, Lee.”

“For you maybe. We’ll see how he’ll react when you’ll tell him about you and I. But stop about him” she decides soon after.

You were going to ask her if there is another topic that she wanted to talk about, but it was before she shows you what she has in mind by kissing you once again. You don’t complain though, you could probably spend hours kissing her without being tired of it. Everything in Leah is intoxicating, in the right way.

“Is it time for me to get you home?”

It is, but you don’t want to. You agree nevertheless, unable to hold a pout at the thought of separating yourself from Leah, even for some hours. But it’s better this way, even if Lia and Mariona are sleeping in the guestroom, you’d rather to be there when Sebastian gets up.

Leah grabs your hand to takes you to her car and takes it again when you are going to your door.

“I had a perfect night. Thanks” you say when you turn in her direction, passing your arms around her shoulders.

“I have a perfect night too. I can’t wait for the next one”

Her lips stroke yours while she talks, and you can’t help but smile softly.

“Who says it will be another one? Maybe you’ll have to bribe me?”

“Can’t wait” she smirks cockily.

You laugh softly and exchanged another kiss before you have to let her go. She kisses your cheek softly and you enjoy a last time her smell before looking at her going back to her car.

“Text me when you are home?”

“I will. Good night, Y/N.”

“Good night.”

There is only the light in the living room who is still on when you enter the house. Everything is perfectly tidy, way more than when you clean yourself after Sebastian falls asleep. You smile when you see the drawing Sebastian made for you, in evidence on the table in the kitchen.

You pass in your Son’s bedroom to kiss him before going in your bathroom to change for your pajama and prepare you to go to bed. When you are ready, you happily find your bed, looking at your phone just to see that Leah messaged you several minutes ago.

Leah 🌹 I’m home, Lovely. Can’t wait to see you again 😊❤️

You Have a good night too 😊 see you tomorrow?

Leah 🌹 Sure, I wouldn’t want to deprive Sebastian of his morning pastry  🙃

You Seeing you makes him happy too you know, with or without pastry He probably gets it from his Mama 😉

Leah 🌹 Stop and go to sleep, you little flirt 😂

You 😇 Sleep tight ❤️

Leah 🌹 Sleep tight. See you tomorrow ❤️

[misserabella]

homecoming

hazel callahan x fem! reader.

summary; loving her was a sin, but if there was a hell, you’d go with her.

cw; +18 content, minors dni!, we’re in the 80s!, both reader and hazel are 18!!, inspired by homecoming from ethel cain, homophobia, angst, pining, both reader and hazel being in love, kissing, crying, hair pulling, mentions of the bible, god and hell, fingering (r! receiving)…

you’re staring at her, and she can’t be more beautiful. it hurts. everything about it hurts. her suit matches her beautiful eyes, and her hair looks so soft you just want to dip her fingers in and tug. tug her closer. until there is no distance in between the two of you. until you can breathe from her lips, until nothing else exists.

but you can’t. and it just breaks you apart like a porcelain doll smashed against the floor.

her name is just as beautiful as her. hazel. like the spring, like the earth and the green. and just like the season, she brings butterflies to your stomach, makes goosebumps bloom like flowers on your skin. and she’s so warm…

she’s a sin. but such a pretty one… maybe they all are. would it make a difference? everything else evaporated as she takes your hand, like the blood in your veins. you want the blue in her eyes to bathe you clean.

“dance with me?” she asks, as if you could resist, as if you weren’t on her knees and begging for her to a god that forbid this sickening love that drenches your bones.

and you nod, ‘cause there are no words you could muster. not when she’s this close, when her fingers are laced in between yours and her cologne is suffocating you.

you’re more patient now than you ever have been.

her smile is blinding, and you can just follow her to the mass of teenagers dancing in the middle of the room, even when your heart is about to burst out of your chest and your stomach is tying in knots.

you’re more brave now that you ever have been.

her hands are on your waist, and your arms are around her neck. and you’re dancing, slow. you feel like one of those princesses in the fairytales your mom would read you when you were just a mere kid, with glass heels and satin fluffy dresses, in between the arms of a prince. you wanted to smash the crystal below your feet and break it to pieces, dance bare feet on the remains of the happily ever after that you won’t get.

“you look beautiful.” she whispers, and your cheeks redden. your heart flips, and you wish this weren’t the way it all goes, but you can’t help but say it back.

“you too.” you stare into her eyes, shying when she smiles, pulling you closer against her chest. you swore you could feel the quickened heartbeat of her heart. hazel fears you do.

you could feel her breath on your neck, through your homecoming dress before she speaks again.

“can i tell you a secret?” you nodded, your soul blooming in a field of flowers when she spoke those four words against your ear. “i’m desperate for you.”

and even though you felt complete, you couldn’t help but want to push her away, punch her in the face. ‘cause your love was so big. you wanted it to be her problem too.

there, just inches away from her, from her plushy reddish lips…four left feet in a room, always all over her. why had you had to fall in love with her?

and you both knew this was how it goes. you both get too close ’til you fucking explode.

you only tugged her closer, burying your face on her neck to hide your blushing, your nerves, but mostly your fear. you couldn’t look her in the eyes, into this sin.

“don’t look now but everyone’s staring at us weird.” she said, and your breath hitched.

“is it just me or there’s no air in here?” you could feel your chest tighten, millions of eyes on you.

but you’d take it all. stand there and bleed under the knives their eyes sent you if that meant you could stay in between her arms just one more minute, one more second.

“just breathe. i’m right here.” she promised, holding you tight.

everyone was watching you. you couldn’t breath.

“can’t we just leave?” you muttered, and she nodded. you wanted to run away with her, run to where no one would know you, would see you.

she took your hand, and you followed as you two left the prom, the hallways of your high school felt sickeningly cold, yet she kept you warm, hand on hand.

it was all a blur as you two ran through them, eyes on the back of her head, on her flowy soft black hair, and before you knew you were inside the bathrooms, your back against the cold tiles as she looked into your eyes.

“tell me i shouldn’t.” she whispered against your lips, one of her hands cupping your cheek. your eyes met her lips.

your fist tightened on the jacket of her suit, knuckles turning white as you leaned closer to her, until your lips were hers and hers yours. you closed your eyes, relishing on this love that you were gifted, this cursed love that you couldn’t scape.

tears were soaking your eyes, ruining the makeup your mother had helped you put on. you were gutted. your hands found her hair, tugging. you wanted to hurt her. break her just like she had broken you.

“i wish you were a boy…” you muttered in a sob, and hazel’s eyes fell. she silently kissed you again. and you let her. they said love hurt, and you were ready to die for it.

the kiss only got deeper, so deep you were drowning. you wished there was no god. no heaven. no hell.

“i love you.” she muttered against your neck, softly kissing it, pressing you harder against the wall.

“don’t.” you begged. “please, don’t.”

“i’m sorry. i’ll go to hell for it. but i do.” tears were brimming her eyes as well.

you kissed her to quiet her. you needed her to hush it all. to not speak up this forbidden love that hung in between the two of you.

her tongue pushed inside your mouth and you moaned.

“please, hazel. make me forget…” you pleaded, starred eyes staring into her soul, and her shaky warm hands crept under the skirt of your dress, pushing aside your panties to feel how wet you’ve become for her. you cried out when you felt her fingers dive in between your slick folds, her fingertips tracing soft circles against your clit. you pulled on her hair, making her grunt.

“you’re so beautiful…” she repeated, if she could she would say it over and over again until she’d lose her voice. a whimper fell from your parted and swollen lips when she pushed her middle finger inside you, fucking you slowly. it was as if she were trying to make love to you. to convince you that this was no sin. just love.

you could believe her.

“i love you.” you cried on her shoulder, your hips pushing against her touch. “i love you so much it hurts.” she kissed your cheek, your forehead and your lips.

she hushed you, her free hand coming to softly brush your hair as she added a second finger, curling them and making you moan. “just focus on me, alright? just me, sweet girl. i’m right here, baby.” she kissed you once again, painfully slow and sweet. you could feel yourself rotting in it, vanishing as your orgasm approached, whimpers and whines being swallowed by hazel as she worked you towards it.

“hazel…” you called out for her.

“i know. i know. just let go for me, princess, let go.” you cried out as it hit you, your hips sputtering and your chest rising in a deep breath. you whole body shook at its intensity, and hazel made sure to help you ride it until it became too much for you. she pulled her fingers out of you just to push them into her mouth to taste you. you were heaven on her tongue.

you needed a taste.

and as you kissed her, holding her close to your heart, you whispered.

“if there’s a hell, i will go with you.”

and that’s a promise no god could break.

-

a/n; relatable

[repulsiveliquidation]

Collateral || Ona Batlle

warnings : mentions of kidnapping, implied violence. smut at the end. fingering, strap-ons, rough sex. Part 2 of ‘Too Dangerous’.

summary : love always pays more than money ever will.

Days passed and you were desperately trying to think of ways to get Ona and the girls out and away from all of this.

You knew you shouldn’t have meddled. You knew your peace was something you were taking for granted and now you were paying the ultimate price.

Your girlfriend.

“Michael, there is no  fucking way I am putting her in danger!” 

“Ma’am,” George knocks, letter in hand. “He’s sent us another one.” 

“Open it.” 

Another picture of Ona, this time of her in the garden with the girls enjoying a bottle of wine, was circled in red again. George pulls out a cryptic letter too, which faintly smelled like cigarettes and honey. 

“Since you’re stubborn and love watching the people you love suffer in isolation, I'll make you a deal you cannot refuse. Give me the stake you have in Barca, leave Ona for good and perhaps I’ll ease off the other girls. I heard Arsenal has been quite the business target in our world.”

I’m closer than you think. 

“Boys,” you growl, the letter crumpled in your hand. “Tell me how the fuck he’s got a picture of my girls from an angle that looks suspiciously like it was taken from the inside of this fucking fortress of a HOUSE?!” 

They stutter, already gathering their things. You yell for them to get out, slamming your office door in frustration. 

You sit at your table and the tears start to flow, sobs shaking heavily through you. You sit back and stare at the picture of you and Ona on the beach from last summer, her pretty smile and your arms around her middle were a feeling, at the time, you did not want to forget. 

You promised her you wouldn’t forget. 

“Girls?” 

They’re all bugging Gio on what to make for dinner, Ingrid and Alexia sitting by the bay window sipping tea. 

“Did you find him yet?” Aitana asks, the room going quiet. They all look at you and you suddenly feel nervous, hand shaking by your sides. 

“Can we all sit?” you ask quietly and Ona is beside you the minute you reach for her, unsure if this was the last time you could have her close. 

“There have been some developments with the case,” Ona stands beside you as you sit at the head of the table, all the other girls gathered around in their own seats. 

“We don’t know who it is yet. But, there have been some messages that have us concerned,” you say, looking up at Ona. She looks worried, all of them do, and you just wish you could have had better news to share. 

“Ona,” you push your chair back and hold both her hands in front of you. “I have failed you.” 

“Amor,” she begins but you shush her. 

“Please. I made you a promise that day you learned what I do for work. I promised I would keep you safe and as far away as possible from it all. All I’ve done from the moment we made ourselves public was make you vulnerable to the bad people I deal with.” 

You pause, watching her eyes well with tears. The other girls look close to tears too. You continue, no matter how painful the next words out of your mouth feel in your chest. 

“I have to let you go, princess,” you stand, cupping her cheeks. “It’s the only way I can keep you safe.” 

“No, no!” she screams, pushing herself out of your grasp. You reach for her and hold her wrists, forcing her to look at you. She puts up a good fight but you win. 

“Ona!” you say sternly, getting her eyes to focus solely on you. “Baby, if there was any other way, I would do it. But I have no choice. If losing you means you’re out there safe from the danger that follows me, so be it.” 

“You don’t get to decide what’s good for me!” 

“I’m afraid neither you or I have a say in this, my love. It’s the only way you can go back to the life you had before all this,” you turn to the rest of the girls. “It’s the only way. Please, you have to trust me.” 

“I don’t want to go,” Ona whispers, looking up at you. 

“You have been such an honor to love. But this is for your own good, princess.” 

The girls file out of the room to give you some privacy and the waterworks burst. 

“But, I’ll see you at the club…right?” she says through sobs, voice stuck in her throat. 

“No baby, we can’t do that,” you pull her into your arms. “I have to stay away from you. For your safety and theirs. But I will always be here to protect you.” You step back, pulling a necklace out of your pocket. 

“Wear this, let it remind you of me.” You lean in and kiss her, “I love you, I always will.” 

You’re true to your word and you keep your distance. There was another letter that showed up mere hours after the girls left with instructions on where to transfer ownership of those stocks to. 

Your fathers hard earned work, gone with a click of a button. 

All because of one girl. A girl who didn’t know the power she held in the palm of her hand. 

Ona knew what she needed to do to hold up her end of the bargain. She couldn’t look you up, ask for you, talk about you. She was to act like you didn’t exist. 

It was easier said than done. 

She couldn’t sleep. Couldn’t eat. Couldn’t play. She was benched game after game after game, her performance on the pitch proving sub-par with her lack of sleep and nutrition. 

The rest of the girls, especially the ones that she had with her at your house, knew what she needed. She thrived with you. She wasn’t the same Ona most of them grew up with. You brought out a side in her no one else ever had and now that side died alongside your relationship. 

“NEW OWNER OF BARCA FEMENI, OSKAR PHILLIPS.” 

The headlines in the paper the day after were a shock to everyone. There was a sense of hope that the girls held onto, knowing you still owned a piece of their club and therefore were still ‘protecting’ them but this? 

Did you not care anymore? Was washing your hands just like that reflective of what you thought of them? Ona looked at the headline again and noted the last name. Familiar, she knew of someone with that name…

“Ona, did you know anything about this?” Caro asks her in a little bit of an accusatory tone, pointing at the paper harshly. 

“No! Of course not!” 

“So she sells her major stake in our team, doesn’t tell you and leaves you all in the same fucking week and we’re supposed to believe you didn’t have a fucking clue about any of it?” 

“Yes! Because I thought as my friends, you would have my goddamn back! Not point your fucking fingers at me because it’s easier than using your brain to think!” 

Ona walks up to Caro, little body shaking with rage. 

“She left me with a shitty explanation, blocked me on everything, deleted her socials and her number from my phone, abandoned the home we made together, ABANDONED ME, and I’m the bad guy? Huh?! She’s the fucking saint because she did it for my own good but what about what I want for once? I wanted her and all it got me was a broken heart and a bed I can’t sleep in because it fucking smells like her! Every corner of my stupid house is haunted because of her!” 

Alexia wrangles the trembling Ona out of the room with Aitana and Ingrid while the others try not to make Caro feel too bad. 

“Ona, Caro was just asking–” 

“Yeah? More like rubbing it in my face that the love of my life left me to keep me safe!” she throws her hands up in frustration. “Me? Safe??? What a love story that is!” 

“Well, well, well ladies. I do hope I’m not interrupting anything.” 

Oskar stood in a pristine emerald suit with gold finishes everywhere possible. There were two guards that stood behind him, one that looked awfully familiar again. What was it about these men that made Ona feel like she was in a dream? 

Ona pushes Alexia off her and storms off, Aitana hot on her heels. They knew to trust Alexia to cover for them, Aitana knowing her friend needed her more than a board member needed her to kiss his ass. 

“Not at all, just some friendly tousling,” Alexia starts, reaching her hand out for the mysterious man to shake. “You must be our new owner.” 

“Oskar. If it isn’t La Reina herself,” he goads, taking her hand to shake.

Ona breathes deeply in the furthest shower stall in the bathroom. Aitana hugs her close and they share a sigh, wishing she could take the pain away from her friend. 

“Ona, you just have to move on amiga. She’s gone and it's for the best, sí?” 

“But what about me? Do you even know how hard it has been for her to be with me? We’ve tiptoed all around you all because we were so scared you would accidentally be exposed to her work and now I learn it was all for nothing?” 

“Amiga, she–” 

“It’s good to see you ladies again, how long has it been, a couple days?” 

A tall man with an eyepatch on walks into the changing room. Another goon follows close behind, locking the door when it shuts. A smaller man walks in, hat tipped just covering his eyes. 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Ona starts, standing up and pulling Aitana behind her, “this is a–wait,” She looks at the men properly, taking in all that she sees. 

The scar. The eyepatch. The terrible teeth and…that smell. Cigarettes and honey. Ona remembers that smell. 

The paper in your hand the day you left. 

“It was you.” 

“Figured it out have you?” 

George steps closer to Ona, pulling his eyepatch off. There was a deep cut along his eye and it was still fresh. 

“See what your whore of a girlfriend did to me when she found out? She made you all leave before letting me know she made me. Good thing her brother pays better and has better men to take care of me.” 

“Money does make the world go around,” Oskar snarls before smirking, “or in this case, it made my sister’s world crumble.”

He comes closer, the smell of cigarettes and honey intensifying. 

“Shall I do it again, for you and all your friends to see?” 

Michael’s phone rings, breaking the silence in the room. You’re in London, hiding out in one of your many homes around Europe. After getting the girls to leave your home and finding the rat in your circle, you trusted no one but Michael. 

He was there through it all, being a loyal servant of your mother before he followed you. Your father may have had the billions but your mother was who ruled it all with an iron fist. 

All your other men were scattered around Barcelona, keeping a close eye on your girls and especially your brother. 

Blood is thicker than water but when Oskars’ concerned? Money was more important. Alongside showing his mother what a terrible decision she made making his little sister the heir to the family business. 

His mother needed to regret it. But first, his dear little sister would pay. 

And what better form of payment than the love of her life? A life for a life right? Since you ruined his? 

“We can’t find them anywhere!” 

“Slow down, Patri,” you tell her, “Who can’t you find? How did you even get this number?” 

“Ma’am, it’s me Ivan! They’ve got the girls!”

“What?” 

“Oskar’s got Ona and them!” 

Your blood runs cold. There’s panic setting in on the other line, frantic chatter of the rest of the team searching for the girls. 

He’s got Ona. 

“He’s got Ona!” Ivan yells and you come back, throwing the phone on the ground and scrambling to get to her. 

The phone ringing again startles you. 

“Don’t her cries sound so pleasing, sister?” “Amor, don’t give him what he wants!” 

“If you hurt even a hair on her head, I swear I will–”

“Will what, huh? Kill me and all my men? Cry to mommy that I took your toys again? Grow up, you pathetic excuse for a Phillips! This empire you think you have was supposed to be mine! And by the end of tomorrow, it will be.” “Don’t give him anything, baby please!” 

“Shut her up!” he spits, “You listen carefully if you want your girls to live,” your brother growls into the phone. You’re shaking, hands in tight fists.

“You are to publicly declare our family business to me. I want it in writing that all profits made from tomorrow onwards will be mine. You are to tell mother that you do not want to run the business anymore and that you decided to give it to me. Any deviation from this plan, I will have their heads sent to your house in London, got it?” 

The line cuts and you’re already in a car to the airport, private jet fueled and ready to take you to Spain to save your girl. 

“Junior, are you sure you can’t find her?” 

“The camera feeds cut off when they went into the bathroom, coming back on an hour later. Everything is wiped!” he shouts, throwing his hands up in the air in frustration. 

“Think, think…” 

“The necklace!” you scramble to the desk Junior was at, pulling up the tracking service you were paying a fortune for. “Junior, track the necklace!” 

As he pulled the information up, you begged and begged every deity out there that she was still wearing it and that it didn’t hurt too much as a constant reminder of you around her neck. 

“There!” 

“Ale? Do you hear sirens?” Ingrid asks the captain, leaning back in her chair that she was sitting in. The girls were unnaturally comfortable while kidnapped, being held in a similarly big house to yours. 

“They’re faint but I think I hear them,” Alexia says calmly, looking around at the other girls and the men that stood around the room. She didn’t want to alert them of their awareness nor give the girls false hope that someone was out there looking for them. 

As the sirens got louder and louder, the men watching them started getting agitated. Being loyal to their boss was one thing, but serving time in prison while that asshat got off scot-free was not something meatheads like them wanted to gamble with. 

“Those better not be for us, Gerald.” 

“COPS!” 

“Ona?!” you called out, rushing in with the police. You pushed past all the elite policemen, eyes scanning every face till you saw hers. 

“Ona!” 

She runs into you, melting into your touch. She’s crying, and so are you, happy to finally have her back in your arms. 

“You came for us,” she sobs, looking up at you. 

“Of course I did. I told you I would let nothing hurt you all and I meant every word.”

You hold her shoulders, looking at her. Not a single hair hurt.

“This was my fault.” 

“No amor you can’t blame-”

“Ona, you were in danger because of me. I did this. My work did this to you and your friends, this was never meant to happen,” you rant, running a hand through your hair. You’re pacing, breathing becomes harder and harder.

“Amor, you’re scaring me,” says Ona quietly, reaching out to grab your wrists; she knows you’re about to have a panic attack. Rare, but she was the only one who could calm you down.

“I can’t believe I let my work slip into my personal life, I PROMISED the day we met I’d keep you safe and I couldn’t even do that.”

“You have!” she yells, looking deep into your eyes. The rest of the girls have gathered in the living room where you were with looks of concern adorned on their faces. They’re wrapped in blankets, sitting on the couch behind Ona holding onto one another.

You look straight at Ona, chest heaving with tears welled in your eyes. An uncommon sight of vulnerability for you, one that Ona doesn’t even blink an eye at, her priority was to get you back to reality. That was how she loved, even with the past few days she’s had, she’s more concerned about you.

“You’ve protected me so well, mi amor. After that one time, you’ve never, ever, let me see anything that you didn’t want me to. I knew what I was getting into when you told me about the consequences of dating you and I accepted because I trusted that you would never break your promises to me. I love you, the girls and I love you so much. You found us, you brought us home.”

Your hands find hers, pulling her into your chest. You bury your face in her neck, breathing back to normal. 

You go back to your home in Barcelona; the rest of the girls returned to their loved ones in one piece. The whole thing is the biggest scandal of the year, headline after headline exposing the inner works of your brother. 

Turns out, he learned of your mother’s will well before she died and knew the plans your parents made to make the family business yours. Knowing he needed to bid his time, he waited till the right opportunity to get both you and his own mother to bend to his word. And it nearly worked. 

“You deserve a little something for saving me, mi amor.” 

“Aren’t you tired, princess? You’ve had such a busy day,” you tell her, watching as she climbed on top of you in her large bed that she loved still smelled like you. 

“I know how this works, every princess needs to reward her knight in shining armor.” 

“Oh? What does this princess have in mind then?” 

Ona pulls a strap from under the pillow. 

“Put this on and show me how much you’ve missed me?” 

Ona is on her knees the moment you ask, lips wrapped around your strap beautifully. She’s moaning around the silicone, eyes focused on you. Your hips thrust into her mouth gently, hands pulling on her long, silky hair. 

“Did you miss me sweetheart? Missed how good I fucked your mouth?” 

Ona’s eyes well with tears, throat loosening to let you fuck into it easily. She gags noisily, tears running down her face. You pull away, leaning over to kiss her hard.

“On the bed, beautiful,” you whisper, watching as she scrambles to spread herself for you. You kiss down her chest, cold fingers caressing her soft skin. She shivers at your touch, bottom lip between her teeth. 

“Tell me how you want it, amor,” you mumble, taking her breast in your mouth. Ona moans, back arching off the bed just a little. 

“Want it rough baby,” she says breathlessly, “Want you to fuck me stupid.” 

You’re pressing her down and forcing her legs wide open before she can finish her sentence, cock already teasing her entrance. You leave hickeys all over her back, hands kneading her firm ass. She presses back into you, ass flush to your hips. 

You leave a hard smack that resonates, Ona moaning when the sting stops. She’s soaking wet, pussy glistening at you behind her underwear. You push it to the side, slipping two fingers along her folds. You moan with her, pressing her back down more into a deep arch. Two fingers slip into her cunt, thumb rubbing her back door gently. You finger her hard, fingertips finding her sweet spot easily. 

Ona writhes, begging for you not to stop. You pull away and turn her over, fingers slipping back into her just as fast as they slipped out of her. Three fingers rub her g-spot aggressively, thumb flicking at her swollen clit roughly. 

Your lips suckle on her breast, free hand holding her close to you. She squirms and her lips never stop begging for you to let her come. The whine in her voice sends pleasure straight between your legs, brain aching to hear your girl come. 

“Amor!” she screams as she cums, thighs quivering hard. You barely give her time to recover before your cock is lathered with her slick on your hand as it’s pushed into her gaping cunt. 

Her eyes bulge out of her skull when she’s speared on your cock, pussy wrapped tight around the toy. She’s gripping the sheets, bottom half lifted off the bed as you fuck into her. 

You’re pounding into her hard, skin slapping hard as it echoes in the room. The moonlight pours into the room and some of it shines on Ona’s face. She’s got a sheen of sweat on her body which glistens and as your hips fuck into her, you feel your heart fall in love with her all over again. 

You pull out and turn her onto her knees, pulling her arms behind her back as your cock slips back into her. She’s drunk on cock, babbling and mumbling as you thrust into her faster. 

Several hard spanks on her ass and a few intentional thrusts send her into her second orgasm, this time sending her straight to sleep. 

She wakes up in clean sheets and a ridiculously large t-shirt on her, rubbing her eyes to find you walking into the room with Chinese takeaway in one hand and her favorite drink in the other. 

“Hi princess,” you coo, sitting at the coffee table by the floor to ceiling windows. She gingerly walks over, settling into the corner of the sofa you were in. 

You were opening up the food when her hand rested on your shoulder. 

“Amor,” she says quietly, “How did you find us so quickly?”

You chuckle, sneaking a bite of the salt and pepper squid. “You think I gave you that necklace as a going away gift? It doesn’t even have one diamond in it!” 

She laughs and it’s the most beautiful sound you’ve heard in a while. 

“Thank you,” she whispers but you stop her. 

“I made a promise to you that I always intended to keep,” you lean in and peck her lips. “I will always protect you from my work, no matter what it does to me. Because at the end of the day, you are more important and all of this.” 

--

a/n : i am so fucking sorry that this was 9 months later but i do hope it lived up to your expectations!

[flicklikesstuff]

How about rambling about your top favorite Epithet characters?

Uh oh, I’m afraid you’ve unleashed a great beast my poor, poor Anon….. But if you insist :)

Introducing My Top 5 Favs:

AND full doodle page ;)

(⚠️HUGE EE Spoilers below⚠️)

1. Rick Shades

UGHHHHHHHHH. LOVE this man 💖💖 A pathetic and pitiful wizard dude with one of the coolest epithets! My favourite bit of him is that he’s introduced as some creepy weirdo who sounds like he’d backstab you BUT turns out to be a really fcked up guy with no social skills and genuinely really does want friends. I LOVE it when stories twist expectations for a character and Epithet Erased just keeps doing it a lot.

While Rick is mostly silly and used as comedy relief through POP really, his tragic backstory adds in so much depth and the narration treats the horrors he went through with respect. Chapter 8 has repeatedly dug my grave each time I listen to it. I’m going insane with any Rick/Toidei thoughts. There’s so much I could say about how his traumatic childhood affected him so much and how it shows through his mannerisms and behaviour that we’d be here all day. (Oh wait- I’ve already indulged into his character in like 4 posts.)

Anyways, in general, I would offer my soul to the scary magic man and treat him to a nice day at the beach.

2. Dr. Sylvester Ashling

Sylvie was the reason I got into Epithet Erased in the first place 😂. My favourite thing about him is his DESIGN and POWERS. The swirls and cloud/sheep motif looks sick and his epithet showcase in the museum arc is beyond awesome. Like omfg, it’s just so genuinely amazing to look at.

He seems fun to bully, especially with that pretentious grown-up attitude he puts up. But underneath that, Sylvie’s character is just depressing to the point where it’s intriguing for me. The choice they made to quickly grow up and skip childhood? I wonder what made them decide to do that. Despite what he says, Sylvie really just wants someone to talk to and he really does care for people. He’s just scared to loosen up and become vulnerable in front of anyone.

Sylvie wanting friends but having trust issues and not knowing how to make some? Honestly, what a mood-

I got too insanely happy hearing his short little cameo in POP, even though they weren’t around for too long. He was in there waiting and looking for his only friend awwwwww.

3. Molly Blyndeff

Molly my CHILD 🥺🥺!! Her bear motif is adorable and her character arc within the museum is so wholesome and satisfying to watch. Reading POP just cemented her as my top 3rd fav because her inner dialogue and way of thinking hit way too close to home for me. I was so close to tears many times throughout and I just LOVE her.

Molly just overall learning to stand up for herself and making it very clear she’s no longer taking any sh*t? She’s the character I wished my younger self got to know earlier because it’s what she would’ve needed at the time.

4. Giovanni Potage

Is it much of a surprise he’s in my top 5? Why wouldn’t I like this total sweetheart who would lift the earth for his minions? I adore how he has like one of the lamest-sounding epithets but his insane level of creativity makes up for it completely. I also really found his unique view on bad guys really interesting. The stark contrast between being evil but also absolutely wholesome makes for a great character I love seeing interact with everyone!

Hoping he gets some sort of character arc though. So far, he’s still the same Gio we know from the beginning and it would be very interesting to see him go through a struggle or make tough decisions.

5. Ramsey Murdoch

Haha funny ratman. As I’ve mentioned before, my expectations for him were twisted and I LOVED it. My fav character in the Redwood Run Arc because poor dude isn’t allowed to catch a break. Even outside the show within the streams, he gets absolutely bullied by the plot. This is entirely what he gets for being 1 of 2 people (the other is Molly) that have the braincell to question the bizarreness of….well, everything.

Ramsey is an impressively intelligent character who just has the hilarious misfortune of having things almost never go his way. He’s entirely the reason he and Percy manage to survive Zora and he STILL gets screwed over by getting arrested. Anyways, yes. I love his dynamic with Percy being a subversion of the typical buddy cop trope. Looking forward to having more of him in the next book: Sweet Escape :33

…………..

If you haven’t noticed already, this ask led me to go through multiple trials of tests to see which brushes and colouring process I prefer digitally.

Rick’s was my first attempt and it’s just… terribly basic really. I wasn’t used to Procreate at that point 😅.

Sylvie’s was next and after watching basic tutorial videos, I turn to really like the colouring style I did for them. Wasn’t fond of the rough outline though.

Gio’s was the exact opposite of what I’ve done with Sylvie. While I liked how it popped out in a comic-style kind of way, I wasn’t a fan of the solid shading.

For Ramsey’s, I was a lot closer to finding out my preferences. I pretty much just combined what I liked from Sylvie and Gio’s drawings. Softer shading and a smoother, thicker outline.

Molly’s was my last attempt and one I’m heavily satisfied with! :D It’s the same as Ramsey’s, but I added a lot more detail to the eyes, coloured in some outlines and even added an overlay!

The whole trial and error process was so much fun and very much worth it too! X3 💖💖

[bigtreefest]

Chapter 1: Digging For Gold

From: You Catch More Bees With Honey Series

Pairing: Mob! Bucky x Farmer! Reader

Summary: Bucky doesn’t always have to personally negotiate his business dealings, but what happens when one of them insists they’ll only deal with him? He heads out to the country to get it sorted, of course.

Word Count: 2,167

Content/Warnings: light mob themes, mentions of misogyny/ Bucky’s attempt at it, fem reader with minimal descriptions, minimal use of y/n, use of a pet name (Honey), Sam and Steve teasing Bucky and Bucky having none of it. Content below the cut.

Author’s Note: Well here it is— my first fic publication! I literally never write, but I’ve felt so motivated to get this down. Idek how I wrote this many words bc lord knows I’m not doing the same for school. Anyway, I digress. I hope you all enjoy. Comments, suggestions, asks, and reblogs are soooo appreciated!! Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Masterlist | Series Masterlist | Next >

Bucky was used to being turned down at first. In the fact, he was used to being turned down two, three, four times before getting his way. He always got his way, until it came to you. He had been trying to seal this deal for what was going on months now. Usually by his fifth ask, his clients got some sense into them, and in this case, sense means a threat of lead through the heart by a henchman. But that hadn’t phased you at all. If anything, it encouraged you to keep pushing back. A real piece of work, this girl was. Each time someone went to negotiate, they came back with their head hung low, sending in their boss to deal with her next as she had requested. Just for that cocky bastard to leave and come back doing the same. Why were they giving into your requests? They couldn’t help themselves when you had that convincing way about you, and neither could Bucky, even if he wanted to deny it to everyone around him. After months of asking for the next boss, you had finally reached James Buchanan Barnes: the head of his mob. Known for his ruthless nature, no one had ever come out of a deal saying ‘no’ to him. If they said no, they didn’t come out of the deal, simple as that. No one had seen his soft spots, and his buttons weren’t to be pushed. Too many had found out the hard way. The only one who could get away with it was his best friend who had known him since childhood Steve. More like a brother, and his only family left, at that. But it looked like he had a soft spot for you, letting you get away with dismissing these meetings, which is exactly why he needed to go himself: to show he wasn’t soft. To show that he could close the deal and his men lacked discipline when they fell to your kind charm. He’d go to this meeting and then wash his hands of the issue, making the deal he decided he had wanted months ago. He got into the back of his black town car and shut the door, directing the driver to start the long journey to the farm.

As he sat in the car, he wondered why the partition was up, as he heard singing faintly coming from the other side. He pushed the button for it to come down, to be greeted by a familiar pair of blue eyes that belonged to his best friend Steve and the back of Sam’s head.

“Oh heyyy boss. Fancy seeing you here,” Sam said keeping his eyes on the road and turning down the radio.

“Where’s Gio?” Bucky barked back.

“Oh calm down. He’s home relaxing with his family. Sam and I gave him the day off. Figured you’d need our help,” Steve said with a small shrug.

Bucky grumbled to himself something about being the boss while Steve and Sam exchanged a quick glance in the front seat before Sam spoke up again.

“Listen Boss, she’s already been through both of us. Obviously we can’t tell you how to succeed, but we can tell you what to expect going in there.”

“Plus we can remind you what we’re really here for and give you back-up none of us had the luxury of” Steve interjected, “the fact that you’ve waited this long shows you’ve got a soft spot for her, and we can’t afford to push this deal back any farther.”

Bucky knew that. He knew it was coming down to the wire “First off, I do not have a soft spot. Not since I was little, and you know that. I’d have anyone else’s head for even thinking such a thing. And second, if it’s so easy, why couldn’t you two have sealed this deal last month when you went, then? Huh?”

At that, Steve snapped his mouth shut and Sam kept his head forward, not daring to glance back at the mob boss whose jaw was clenched with anticipation.

“That’s what I thought. But go ahead, speak now or forever hold your peace, because when I go in there, I need to come out with a deal.”

He’d never let anyone besides his right-hand and number three men know how on edge he was for this meeting. He looked out the window hoping for the best and that his hard outer persona wouldn’t crack today as Sam and Steve started with their briefing.

When Sam pulled off of the pavement and onto the dirt driveway, Bucky’s eyes absorbed the rolling hills and abundant trees. It was beautiful, but nothing like his city. He enjoyed the tight spaces and routine rigidity of concrete. This was a different world. Her land was sprawling, far further than the crop fields sat. Acres for the cattle to graze and others that laid fallow. It was built over old mines. That’s why he wanted it all: for the tunnels. It would be so much easier to store and move his product, cutting transportation time and having discreet underground facilities if he could just strike a deal, but he’d finally met his match without even meeting her yet. A woman just as stubborn as him, but opposite in every other way.

Sam pulled up in front of a beautiful farm house. Modest, but chic and well cared for. Leaning against one of the posts that framed the front porch was her. Hair hidden under a cowgirl hat, well worn from work-filled days and in a flannel shirt, jeans, and boots showing even more mileage than the hat. Bucky looked out the window and let out a deep breath.

“Wish me luck, boys”

They both just nodded. A more than sufficient acknowledgment in their line of work. Bucky opened the car door and his red bottoms crunched the rocks beneath his feet as he sauntered over to her.

“Ms. Y/L/N. This has been a long time coming.”

“Indeed it has. Good to see you Mr. Barnes. And please, call me Y/N.” Her voice twanged.

Then she flashed him that smile, ugh how he hated that. She wasn’t even trying, but it made him feel an odd warmth that started deep in his chest. One that almost made it seem like it made his heart melt a little. A heart that was stuck in an ice age for as long as he could remember. Still, he couldn’t budge. He had to set an example for his men. How could he push an agenda he couldn’t fulfill? His thoughts continued to race as he stepped up to the bottom of the wooden steps leading to the porch. Not a good start with her literally having the high ground.

“Do your drivers want to come in? I don’t mind gettin’ them some refreshments while we chat.” She offered kindly. How was she so smooth? Bucky glanced back and Steve and Sam gawked at you though Steve’s window. Bucky made a mental note to have that tinted more so no one could see them embarrassing him and themselves in the future.

“No. They’re fine.” Bucky coldly, borderline spat back. “And you can call me by my name, as well, if we’re not doing last names. That’s mostly what I do with those I work closely with”

Bucky wanted to have a firm hand in these business dealings, but he wasn’t a total monster, plus, he knew in most cases, the more comfortable a client was, the more likely they’d give up benefits, sweetening up his own end of the deal. See? He was still working on wrapping you around his finger. He had this down, even if Steve and Sam didn’t think so. At least, that’s what he tried to convince himself as you nodded with a soft smile on your face and led him inside.

Bucky followed you past a living room, flanked by a functional and methodically laid out kitchen. That gave him a better idea of who he was working with: someone who meticulously planned their work environment. Someone who cared for every aspect no matter how small. Everything had a place and made sense. Nothing unnecessary was present and it seemed ergonomic, yet modern and classy, like everything about you. His gaze lingered as long as he could until he had to pull his head forward to continue following you down the hallway to your home office. Once again, practical and functional, with a few papers strewn around a laptop and your other useful desk features. You had everything you needed in arm’s reach, no need to tuck it away in drawers if you were constantly using it and you kept it organized enough that it wasn’t a stressful mess. You gestured for Bucky to take a seat on the couch across from you as you sat in your desk chair and flashed him a smile. Ugh there was that smile again, and this time it got him good and he couldn’t help but dopily smile back, not even aware of what his body was doing.

“James” oh how he hated when you called him that. Sure, it was his formal business name, but the way you said it made him grimace. Yeah, it sounded beautiful from your lips, but its use meant your weren’t close. And that’s all he wanted. Was for you to be close. Up against him, on top of him, engulfing him, drowning him. And he would happily accept that fate. Heck, he was drowning right now in these thoughts about you, but he clawed his way to the surface and shook his head to refocus as you said his name again, noticing his attention had drifted in favor to a blank stare at your lips. He knew with that slip-up, he had to regain control and take charge.

“Listen Honey, you’ve essentially been exterminating every guy I send in here and I don’t like it. All you are is sweet but somehow you’re turning down this deal like a bitter old man would” His sudden stern and almost condescending tone was a huge juxtaposition to the wonderland face you had noticed moments ago. You didn’t like that one bit. Being an independent woman who ran a successful business, you were used to men trying to stomp on you until they had their way. You didn’t stand for it with all of Bucky’s underlings and you weren’t going to stand for it now. You’d regain control and keep your calm demeanor, because you’re that much better than all these other mediocre men in business you dealt with all too often.

“First off, James. Let’s not get into extermination or pesticides. That’s far too complicated of an issue for right now, especially if you don’t understand the simple terms I so graciously asked you for. And if you wanna call something honey, you better be referring to my beehives on the south side of the property. Now, I just want to talk to you so you can see where I’m coming from” you said was a sickeningly sweet smile. He could see it didn’t reach your eyes, still filled with fire and not backing down. But dang if your tone still didn’t match the new nickname he’s given you. Sweet and thick. Bucky for the first time found himself listening to demands from another. He settled down into the couch cushions as you pulled out the contract you’d drafted yourself.

Bucky raised his hands in surrender. “Alright, fine. By all means, let’s get down to business. I wanna see what’s been giving all my men such a hard time that you’ve had to come directly to me.”

Bucky leaned forward to grab the contract from your hands. He flipped through the pages, most of it was identical to what he’d drafted, besides you inflating the numbers. He could handle that, but the last line he saw made his neck muscles go limp as he dropped his head.

“James Barnes will work and stay at the farm for one month’s time, uninterrupted, to learn the gravity, value, and hard work associated with operations.”

He should’ve known, but what was one month? If he was going rn use the mines, he may as well see all the land and livestock that could be affected if things went awry. He’s been doing this job for years, anyway. Maybe he needed the break. He’s sure Steve could control everything else, right? He wouldn’t have waited so long for this deal had he not needed the mine shafts. Your smooth voice broke him out of his thoughts.

“So… what’ll it be, James?”

He looked up at you through his lashes with a smirk you couldn’t quite read as you returned your own smirk, knowing what this meeting meant. Knowing that he wouldn’t have come in person unless he really wanted to make a deal happen.

“Sure Honey, whatever you want”

Next>

[chil-aglia]

(Gotta listen to this because this is gonna be intense)

https://youtu.be/qsyMS3YoYHY?si=5LsTwYYKx8tnWB_a

Leo wasn't in best condition. How things went go wrong. Oh right. He knows why. The reason is right front of him.

Bishop.

The chief of EPF.

The man who kidnapped him. It's started normally like every night. Hanging out with brothers, having pizza, mainly making a new addition, their new brother Gio, feel like home. They got a call from April that night telling them she has pizza for the first one arrived at her home helping her clean room. Leo smiled as it reminded it brought back nostalgia. But unlike last the last he won't end up accidentally in Paris (even though he enjoyed those croissants there). He wasn't a portal screw up anymore and he was ready to win free pizza. And maybe also gonna try to win a title of the Gio's favourite. What? He can't help himself to be awesome and he has right to earn it (not the mention it's fun to see their pouty faces on his brothers). He gave his brothers heads up and was about to portal to sister's apartment, but suddenly felt chills in spine.

Someone was watching him.

And that's when he saw a red light on blade's reflection. He reflected a dart with sword and was about to portal away. He didn't notice another one from other direction hitting his thigh. Suddenly everything was spinning, or maybe it was as he felt himself Falling from rooftop (what is with him and falling from roofs?!), he felt pain as landed on dumpster then on ground (thankfully it wasn't bad as he got caught by clotheslines softening the fall). Last thing he saw was a man in black suit with sunglasses (in the middle of night? Really?) looking at him both surprised and annoying before everything went dark.

When he woke up he soon found out he was in room strapped table similar from Frankenstein movie. They took his katanas, his pouches, even his wraps, when his communication device was. The only thing they let him kept was his blue mask. Great, just his luck. Everything still hurt, he felt tired, weak... almost helpless. Almost.

If they think he won't go without fight they have an another thing coming. He first needed a weapon. Anything pointy could be enough to make a sword. Even a nail. However it was hard to focus as he stinging pain in right hand. He noticed bandage on right wrist that was little red. Must have accidentally cut himself during the fall. Great, just what needed. A blood loss, he thought sarcastically...

...wait. Blood? Of course!

The 70% of blood is mostly iron! Images of Gram gram's sword form crossed his mind and when it hit him. Anything can be weapon, his body is a weapon. Literally. It was an insane idea, but it was worth a shot.

He reopened his wound to led bleeding freely and then used his ninpo hoping it would work he passes out. And thank god it worked as he held a red tanto, cutting off his binding. He was free and he's ready to busting out by himself. (Not that he wouldn't want his brothers by his side right, but he rather not wants them to get involved in this whole situation.)

First he went to retrieve katanas for portaling (he didn't want to try it with tanto made from own blood as he already felt weaker from using it.). Everything went smoothly as he went to the room where his belongings were only to be greeted by none other than man in black with sunglasses, introduced himself as Bishop.

Normally Leo would handle a guy, but this one was tougher than he realized. No matter what he did Bishop always deflected his attacks and even hit one or twice. It didn't help that his hand was still bleeding making his bandage almost red.

Bishop: Will you calm down and stop resisting? I mean no harm.

Leo: Yeah right. Could've fooled me after kidnapping me.

Bishop: Yeah that. I want to apologize for that. We thought you were someone else. Someone we thought was dead.

Leo🤨: What are you talking about?

Bishop: (😏😈)...😮‍💨Ten years ago we found a way that could open a portal to a dimension that we discovered. We send our best candidate to check that place, to see any changes. However due to... unfortunate circumstances we had cut some losses. Including our testing subject.

Leo: Yeah yeah, but what has to do with me? And what do you mean by testing subject?

Bishop: You should know. You look kinda similiar. Expect two things.

Leo: And that is?

Bishop: You eyes don't have heterochromia, nor anisocoria. And last time I checked our testing subject wasn't red eared slider, but a yellow bellied slider.

Leo suddenly felt cold after hearing it. There was shock, horror, nauseousness battling inside him, feeling he might throw up.

Yellow bellied slider. Eyes with heterochromia and anisocoria. There's only one fitting description. But that means...

Leo: It was you. You sent Giovanni into Prison Dimension. YOU SENT MY BROTHER AWAY!

Bishop: Giovanni huh? Interesting. And you are correct about the location as it was confirmed to me by-

Leo: How could you?

Bishop: It wasn't planned as I said earlier but it was inevitable. He was a perfect candidate,

Leo: He was a child. You said ten years ago and you thought I was him, by that logic he was an eighth years old when you send him into that place.

Bishop: You are surprisingly correct, however I don't see why that matters.

Leo: Are you shitting me right now?! Do you have any idea what you did?! What you put him through?! You sent a innocent child to dimension with those monsters that destroyed New York! You let him suffer in that horrendous place over a decade! How can you feel no remorse?!

Bishop: It was necessary sacrifice.

Leo: Sacrifice? Sacrifice?! He almost died because of you-!

Bishop: That was his mistake!

One line rattled everything. Leo felt that uncaring, downright cruel persona. It reminded of Draxum when he held him in his clutches ready to throw him off the roof.

Something inside blue masked slider snapped.

There was no cold dread anymore, only a boiling rage. It was burning like blue fire. Intense and uncontrollably. It wasn't like with Savage Raph. No, this was different. That anger within grew in any moment. It boiled everytime when he recalled those terrified heterochromatic eyes, those uncaring cold eyes in front him. Those moments when he faced that (when his oldest brother suffered because of that)... Monster.

He's never gonna forgive. He's won't forgive.

He has to pay. He's gonna pay. He will pay.

Pay. Pay. Pay. Pay. Pay. Pay! Pay! Pay! PaypaypaypayPAYPAYPAYPAY! PAAAAAYYY!!!

Bishop was unexpectedly punched in face by slider who suddenly appeared in front of him. He tried to deflect them but the turtle was faster than before. Something was different. His eyes... There was a tint of red in it. Almost murderousness. And that wasn't the only thing. He was portaling himself. He shattered his bloody tanto and send shards everywhere creating portals where he could appeared out of nowhere. Bishop was beaten up severely. Leo stopped and then snapped fingers shutting immediately, portal chopping everything around. He had one left and transformed into red sword. Save it for someone who does not deserve to live. Someone who made his brother suffer all those years. Bishop knew at at moment that there's no escape. This is his execution. Leo raised his arm, ready to decapitate that man, when a green hand stopped. It finally snapped out the slider from murderous fog and when he looked back he saw brothers, including Giovanni who held Leonardo's hand saying gentle yet pleading voice.

Gio: Don't do it. Please.

(Don't worry Leo didn't kill Bishop they portaled away and then Leo passes out from mystic overuse and small blood loss. But he's fine. Sorry if this is extra long. I just imagine Leo being this furious for learning something like (it was also based on my emotions that I felt same) and wanted to show a skill Leo could do if he use any metal to create a sword with his ninpo (including the metal in his bloodstream a.k.a. the iron, though not highly recommended) and it got little detailed than I planned.😅

And yes this dark portal/sword ability was inspired from Karai's sword transformation, ability from Omega Replica Christmas comic special (when Donnie has AI named Omega that has his face and persona after his death in apocalypse, and Katara's blood bending.

Soo what do you think?

My honest reaction to reading this

I love it! The way Leo is ticked off. The pleading voice of Giovanni who stops him.

ARGHHH I love my boys. Your brain for thinking of this is amazing—

[cartierdreamx]

𝕯𝖊𝖘𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖊𝖉 𝕿𝖔 𝕱𝖆𝖑𝖑 *3*

Hi my honey buns <333, I am so sorry for the wait, but here it is and I so hope you enjoy!! Just diving in further into Jenna’s character and r has a secret?????!!!, I am like half asleep right now so I have no idea what to say butt I will also mention, I will look over this ch properly with a full rested mind once I wake up LMFAO. I hope you enjoy and if you do, please consider reblogging, following, and commenting! Thank you all for your constant love and support! J <33

If you would like to be apart of a taglist so you know when the next chapter comes out, comment down below or let me know thru asks!! Also please make sure your tags are on, so I’m able to tag you🤎

Pairings: jenna ortega x fem! Reader

Warnings: the tiniest bit of angst, dark themes, swearing, mentions of weapons and violence and murder.

This fic is STRICTLY 18+, as it involves adult themes, minors DNI, you are responsible for your own social media intake, which includes reading entertainment which this fic falls under, so one last warning- this fic is 18+. Thank you!  

*though my fics have real people, my fics are just for entertainment and far from reality*

FYI: JENNA IS G!P IN THIS FIC!!

~~

There was barely any times Jenna felt abandoned, hopeless, trapped, and there were even less times where Jenna felt this way about a woman, an ordinary citizen. Vulnerable was never a side she would welcome, it made her feel weak, an easy access for Gio, so when you came along, you were an anomaly, you were only supposed to be a one-night stand, she would never admit it but the heat of her heart upon talking to you melted the layer of ice she projects.

Oh, how she wishes she had never spoken to you, you would’ve been safe, if everything she cares for would be destroyed, if she had never spoken to you, crimson would have never painted her hands, your crimson, your blood spilt was a reminder this was all her fault.

But, would there have been more regret if she left you alone that night? There was barely any times Jenna felt vulnerable, but when she’s with you, that’s what she is, and tonight, she was more vulnerable than ever. Vulnerability wasn’t welcomed, but it encased every inch of her.

“Jen, you have to let go of her.” Viv sighs, placing a hand on her shoulder.

Jenna winces away, “NO, no, I can’t, I can’t, please, Viv.”

“Hun, I know you don’t want to, but we have to get her on this stretcher so Kaman can take of her.”

“I WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE CARE OF HER.” Now in a softer tone and as her tears fall, she repeats, “I was supposed to take care of her.”

Viv understood her feelings, she didn’t want to lose you either, and at the possibility of losing you, she couldn’t lose Jenna the same night, “Jenna, this isn’t your fault, you have to get that through your head.”

How she would give up anything in the world right now to see your seraphic smile again, she’d trade her throne, she’d take off her mafia crown and let the city fall into the hands of Gio Marcello if it meant your hands could caress her face once more. The weakened brunette, always so contumacious, never giving in, but she knew she had to, just this once, although, she was a great negotiator.

“Can I at least hold her in the stretcher?” There was always a fierceness in her eyes, Viv and Bruce knew that look all too well, but seeing her like this was different, the same knots in their backs that Jenna’s stubbornness caused were untied by her weakness, well in Jenna’s eyes, her weakness, but in reality, it was proof she’s just like any other citizen on the street, hurt and scared, in this moment, she wasn’t the most feared woman, wasn’t the crown heir to the Ortega family, she wasn’t a playboy, she wasn’t egotistical, she wasn’t arrogant, she was just Jenna.

“Oh, baby, I don’t thin-.”

“Of-course, you can Jenna, I just need to to be careful and still so I can take her vitals administer an IV.” Kaman, the head doctor of the towers, cuts in.

“I promise.”

As the two of you are whisked away into a nearby elevator, Viv and Bruce stay back, as much as they wanted to accompany their friends, they knew they had a job to do, they couldn’t let the family fall, not when Jenna needs them most, and so with unspoken words, the two of them knew exactly what to do. Bruce manning a team of soldiers, investigating what happened and who caused this mess, and Viv staying remote collecting intel from Bruce whilst trying to hold the integrity of the tower when their leader has fallen. Temporarily of course, hopefully.

~~

Ignorance is bliss is the saying, and Bruce so wanted to bathe in this bliss, the bliss where he doesn’t find out what happened to you, his demeanour paints itself as large rottweiler, physically, his brute strength would scare any normal human being away but, on the inside, he had a heart as strong as the winds on top of mountains.

For you, his heart welcomed you in, he won’t ever admit it to Jenna, only because she’d deny it, but when he senses Jenna truly cares for someone, his love and care automatically calls out for that same person. His overprotectiveness over you blames himself slightly for what happened, but not as much as Jenna did.

“Bruce, we found y/n’s blood and smashed up cameras from across the street and corners, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologise.” His flat tone masking the fact he’s trying his best to hold everything. “Were you guys able to find anything else?”

“Right, and unfortunately not.”

Bruce sighs deeply with remorse, “shit, wait okay, okay, get the smashed cameras to Ammo in tech, she’s savvy with these things, it’s slim, but we have to try.”

One of his soldiers’ nods and the rest start collecting fragments of evidence alongside the actual cameras. “Hey Viv, we might have something, meet me on Ammo’s floor, she might be able to resurrect the SD card from the cameras.”

~~

As much as she wanted to stay, the force of her wanted to leave, Jenna held you for so long, but she got so lost in the pain, she forgot the copious amount of regret and guilt she’d feel when you woke up and saw her face, you told her you hate her, but did you mean it? Either way, she wanted nothing to do with these feelings, you’re better off waking up next to someone you love.

“Jenna?” Kaman, looks up from you after doing her regular check, “where are you going, sweetie, doctor intuition tells me she’ll be waking up soon.”

“Out.” Her body was shutting her heart down, her brain is in control now and maybe it should’ve stayed in control, not passing on the torch to her heart, a lot of regret wouldn’t have existed if that were the case. Jenna grits her teeth and lets out a breath through the minuscule gaps between, “I’m calling Solana, her best friend, she deserves to know what happened, and she,” now pointing at you with her forehead, eyebrows “she deserves someone else here.”

“You’re running away again, Jenna.”

“What else am I supposed to do?” Jenna bites back.

“Stay.”

“That’s not an option.” Jenna, now using a tone you’d only hear from a mother. Before Kaman could say anything else, the space between you and her had been closed off, and that wasn’t the only thing restrictive.

There was something about the night ambiance that always provided fresh air, each molecule of oxygen that raced through her body was pure, antonymous with the blood spilt over the years as a result of her hands.

Hello? Who is this?

Hi Solana, sorry for the late-night call but something happened, oh, it’s Jenna by the way.

Though it was over the phone, Jenna could feel Sol’s heart drop.

OH! Jenna, hi, Sol is fine by the way, is y/n okay? I’ve been trying to reach her, but I can’t seem to get a hold of her.

There was an accident… Can you come to the towers?

Fuck, okay, I’m on my way.

Once Sol walks into, Jenna is greeted with a heavy heart, yet a kind smile. “Is she okay?”

“She will be, she’s going to wake up soon, she’ll want you there, just head up to the floor marked with H.”

“Aren’t you coming with?”

At this very moment, something clouded the air, you couldn’t see it, feel it nor smell it but something in the air that made Jenna retain why she’s not going up with Sol, “she needs you, not me and plus, I have to do something.” That last line was a ramble, she didn’t have to do anything, not at this very moment, but she couldn’t go see you. Couldn’t or won’t?

Sol sighs and takes a step towards Jenna, “okay,” the mafia queen had never been easy to read, no one knew what went on inside of her, but tonight, Sol read her like a novel, but she didn’t want to push. “You know,” caressing Jenna’s hand “whatever happened, it wasn’t your fault, Jenna, no one blames you.” Jenna didn’t have the courage to look at Sol in the eyes, all she could muster up was “y/n does.”

“I’ve known her for years, I share a soul with her, pun intended,” trying to make Jenna smile, but Sol is sure that joke flew over her head, “she doesn’t blame you.” Sol’s last attempt to console Jenna and try to convince her to come up but stubborn is Jenna’s middle name, so all she could give Sol was a headshake and a smile as the elevator doors close.

Maybe I should go to her. A constant thought that flooded Jenna’s mind but in the split second where she was about to press the button marked ‘H’ on the elevator, a text from Viv telling her to meet them on the tech floor came through, directing her finger towards the button marked ‘T’ instead.

Walking into the office, Jenna’s fist immediately clenches up at the sight of smashed up cameras with intricate wires tangled up within each other. “For the sake of everyone in the city, PLEASE tell me you’ve found something,” there was desperation in her tone, she wanted to throw the closest object across the room but the breath she takes seems to calm her down enough to hear her little posse out.

Like Alvin and the Chipmunks, Bruce, Viv, and Ammo avert their gaze from the screen to Jenna, “this right here is why you pay me six figures.” Ammo retorts, making Jenna giggle a bit, the first time a positive sound escaped her mouth since finding out you were hurt.

“Alright, no need to boast, especially when I make 10.” Jenna smirks and Ammo rolls her eyes.

“How’s y/n?” Viv says with concern.

“Ah, she’s great?” There was some hesitation when she answered, truthfully, she doesn’t know how you are, when she left you, you were stable, but she doesn’t know how you are. “I’m not really sure, Sol is up with her, and I got a text from Kaman that she woke up when I was on the way up.”

“And you’re not there?” Viv exclaims with such flash.

“She won’t want me there.”

Viv inflates her cheeks to the brim with air before letting out a huff, “Ammo, will you please pass me the magazine on your desk.” As no words were exchanged, Viv starts to roll up the paper and trains her eyes at Jenna, no one knew what was going to happen next.

“BAD, JENNA, BAD.” Viv screams as she knocks Jenna on the head with the magazine, at the same time, Jenna extends her arms above her head, flinching away at every hit as a way to protect herself.

“VIV?” Jenna squeals, “what was that for?” she then questions whilst Bruce and Ammo try so hard not to laugh as tears form in their eyes.

“That’s for being here, waltzing around like an idiot when you should be waltzing around like an idiot up there,” Viv pointer finger erects up, “you know, with y/n?”

“I just- she doesn’t, she hates? Aw for fucks sake, just show the video, stop lingering on me.” Jenna commands, not wanting to talk about her feelings, and definitely not wanting to talk about her feelings for you. What feelings? Does she even have feelings for you?

“Are you sure? It’s a bit, well you know.” Viv informs.

“How much blood have I washed from my hands?” Jenna bites back.

“Yeah, but you didn’t have feelings for said blood.” Viv points out, making Bruce and Ammo scoff out a laugh.

“What? I don’t have feelings for y/n!” Jenna starts getting all defensive and in unison just like the chipmunks, the group of three goes “mhmhm.”

“Ugh, whatever, just play the video.” As the video plays, Jenna watches what that night was like for you, in clear technicolour, how the man had followed you like a predator set on his prey. And as his palm lands on your face, she squirms, she doesn’t want to go on, she doesn’t want to see you like this. No amount of violence she had witnessed and caused could ever prepare her for what she was watching.

JENNA! JENNA! PLEASE, JENNA, PLEASE, JUST STOP!

The colour drained from Jenna’s face as quickly as the rage set in, once she heard the first syllable of her name, she knew you were calling out to her and it was all too much for her, there was water setting on her tongue, if she saw anymore, she was sure she’d throw up everywhere. Jenna rushes out the office, accidentally slamming the glass door behind her, drawing the attention of the other tech workers to her, but their gazes quickly returned to their screens as they realise who they were staring at.

“Jenna, are you okay?” Viv asks as she closes the door behind her, Jenna couldn’t hold eye contact with her, too scared that tears would start streaming down her face if she had seen the softness of Viv’s face; concerned for her dear friend.

“I’m fine.” The words just barely making it through her teeth.

“You’re not, and that’s okay, I just need you to tell me what’s going on through your head, this entire tower is your family, we can help.”

“She-” Jenna croaks, “she called for me, Vivica.” Using her full name, this indicated she was an even bigger mess than anyone anticipated, Jenna would use ‘Vivica’ when things got too serious, too overwhelming, and those times barely existed, Viv greeting her name like a stranger. “She called for me and I wasn’t there, I couldn’t save her.”

Placing a firm grip on both her shoulders, Viv comforts Jenna, “Jenna, look at me, there was nothing you could do in that moment to help her, get that through your thick skull.” Jenna huffs out a deep sigh, “but.” “No buts, stop blaming yourself, and you did save her, she’s alive because you took her in.” Viv reassures.

“Okay.” Jenna didn’t want to ‘okay’ this conversation, especially when she herself wasn’t okay. But that was all she could muster up at this moment.

“Okay. Now tell me what you need.”

“I need to find that man and kill him.” An ‘o’ shape forms Viv’s mouth, but she doesn’t know why she’s surprised, this was the most logical solution for Jenna. “No, not kill, that’d be giving him mercy, I want to hurt him so bad he wishes he was never born.” There was such fury in Jenna’s eyes, a fury no one had ever seen, not even Viv, but she understood, she shared that same fury, it was the same with Bruce, but Jenna held most of the fire, she conjured it.

“Okay, okay, that’s on brand, but before you go out and hunt him down and we feed you information, you should know, this wasn’t a random attack, the van that ended up picking him and her up, ultimately dropping her off at our feet was Marcello.”

“Gio did this?” The fire only growing stronger at the realisation that Gio was using you as a manipulation tactic to see her fall, to make her weak, vulnerable.

“Unfortunately, so he may be guarded.”

“He won’t, he’s a useless pawn to Gio, and I’m assuming he wasn’t supposed to hurt her that bad.”

~~

As Jenna heads down to the garage, everyone at their stations waiting to give Jenna information on Jameson’s whereabouts, Jenna ends up running into a frantic Sol. “Sol? Are you okay?”

“Jenna! Just the girl I was looking for, y/n’s awake, she’s doing great and she’s looking for you.” Jenna wishes she had never run into Sol, the guilt she buried about how she wasn’t there when you woke up was slowly making its way back up to the surface and that same feeling of saliva settling on her tongue was back again.

“I’m glad she’s doing better.”

“You’re not coming to see her?”

Before Jenna could answer, adding onto the guilt that harbours her, Sol had once more read Jenna and the twitch in her eyes, the pursed lips and the disconnected eye contact told her all she needed to know. “I wish you believed that this isn’t your fault.”

“Me too,” Jenna smiles at her, “later, when she’s well enough, I want her to recover in my penthouse, I’ll have people set up the guest bedroom, it’ll give me peace of mind that she’s here with m-, with uh, you know protection.”

Sol tries to hide her smirk at Jenna’s slight mistake where she was supposed to say ‘me,’ where she wanted to say ‘me,’ “that’s very sweet of you, it’ll give me some peace of mind too.”

“If you want, I can have another room set up for you?” Jenna kindly offers.

“OH, no, that’s very sweet, but I don’t want to intrude, and plus I have a business to run and I’m not in any danger, thank you though.”

“Of-course, just let me know if you change your mind, and the only thing that poses a danger to you is TMZ stealing your work.” Jenna winks, making Sol laugh, before heading towards her personal garage, separate the the tower’s garage.

Which car today? She thinks to herself, “take the GT3, perfect for a 1am cruise, we can see you wallowing in indecisiveness, this is a problem only you’d have by the way.” Viv speaks, coming from Jenna’s ear piece.

“Heh, you’re right the irish green GT3 is perfect for a 1am cruise, though this won’t be a cruise, more like sweet, sweet revenge.”

“Yuck, never say that again, this isn’t a movie.”

“Hmm, kinda is, but maybe more like a book.”

~~

As you wait for Sol to get back from her little quest, you can’t help but wonder if it’ll just be Sol walking through the doors or will Jenna accompany her. Despite being beaten to a pulp, you remembered everything, you’ve always had a stellar memory and despite all the hurt and pain, there was something about the warmth Jenna encased you in whilst in your arms that washed away the pain, each beat of your heart was in sync with hers and for once she wasn’t the most feared woman in America, she was Jenna.

Just Jenna, with the ability to be vulnerable like everybody else. As much as you didn’t want to admit it, waking up to the lack of her warmth ached you, but that doesn’t mean you weren’t grateful and relieved to see Sol by your side, but deep down your heart longed to be in sync with hers again.

“Hi, my sweet one.”

“Sol!” And only Sol walked through the doors, leaving you deflated, not realising you displayed your disappointment for Sol to see.

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t apologise, it’s okay, I just thought, never mind, it’s stupid.”

“It really isn’t y/n.” Sol takes a seat by your leg on your bed.

“I just want to thank her.”

“She knows you’re thankful, what you really want is her, or do you still hate her?” Sol teases.

You hmph, “I don’t want her.” Is that a lie, y/n? “And I don’t necessarily hate her.”

“Hm, okay, whatever makes you sleep at night, however, if you don’t hate her, why’d you tell her otherwise?”

“You heard about that?”

“Whole tower at this point.”

“I feel like this is karma for being a journalist,” you two share a laugh, taking a deep breath, you confess, “when I ran into her at the mall, she had told me to tell her that I hate her, if I told her that, she would leave me alone, when I told her I hate her, I didn’t mean it in a spiteful way, I meant it in a I don’t want to be a burden to you way, because I knew she would stop at nothing to hurt whoever did this to me, I couldn’t let her get hurt on behalf of me, get hurt in general.”

Viv and Bruce heard all of that through the door so when they walk in, Viv couldn’t help but make a remark, “aw, you do care about her.”

Your face lights up at the sight of your friends, “unfortunately,” you joke.

“How’re ya doing kid?” Bruce speaks first, which surprises everyone in the room.

“I’m doing better, you?”

“I’m not the one who got hurt.”

“Not physically.” Your statement makes Bruce bow his head down a bit, confirming your words to be true.

“I’ll be okay.” He smiles.

“Viv?”

“I’ll be okay too, I’m just glad you’re doing better.” She walks up to you and gives you a tight squeeze.

“OH!” You remember that there was a high possibility Sol and the other two have never met before, “this is Sol, my everything.” Sol smiles and holds your hand.

“Yes, hi, hello, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Viv sticks out her hand and Sol gracefully accepts.

“Please, pleasure’s all mine, thank you for taking care of her.” Sol giggles at her, “and nice to meet you too, uh?” She turns to Bruce.

Bruce tips his head at her like a mini curtsy, a gentleman he is, “Bruce, ma’am.” Another smile from Sol.

“I don’t mean to interrupt introductions here, but is Jenna around?” You gather up the courage to ask.

“She’s on her way back to the towers.” Viv answers.

“From where?”

“I’ll leave that to her to explain.”

“But let’s not focus on her right now.” Easier said than done. “Jenna is offering you a guest bedroom upstairs to recover in, and trust me, this room may be amazing, but nothing compares to her penthouse.”

“That’s very generous of her, and yeah, whew, her penthouse is something else, she’ll be back soon, right?”

“I’m sure of it.” Viv reassures.

~~

Despite her small stature, Jenna was incredibly strong, evident as she drags a 6ft tall, unconscious man into the elevator as they head towards the dark rooms of the tower, underneath the city, where if Jenna wanted something from an individual, she’d get it.

As they reach the one of the underground levels, the elevator door opens and Jenna is greeted by Viv and Bruce, they wanted to bring a few soldiers, but Jenna insisted this had to be done privately, there was something poetic about her doing this where no one could hear his screams, the same way no one heard yours.

“Here Bruce, take him and tie him down to the chair and wake him up.” Jenna commands, the fury she once welcomed in, back and angrier than ever.

Once Jameson wakes up, his eyes are met with a fiery brown. “Speak.” He laughs at her attempt to be intimidating, “Oh? We’re laughing I see, let’s see if those teeth will still be there when you laugh after I’m done with you.” Jenna balls up her fist and with so much might, punches him in the jaw, knocking him to the side a bit, immediately drawing blood out of his nose and gums.

“That all you got?” He challenges, “I made your little pet scream more.” That was it, that was Jenna’s last straw, no one knows what possessed her, but no one was mad about it, she claw gripped his throat, throwing punches at every part of his face, his blood splattering all over the place, painting Jenna’s white button up, the first 3 buttons now undone from the roughness she delivered.

And with every grin, laugh, snarky remark Jameson displays, Jenna’s punches got harder, one punch being so hard, he falls backwards taking Jenna down with him. Jameson was strong but Jenna was stronger, “Gio was right, y/n does have you wrapped around her finger.”

With one final blow, she nearly renders him unconscious, as she leaps up from him, Jenna mumbles “you don’t get to say her name.”

“Calm down, tiger,” he mutters as the blood pools up in his mouth, spitting it out he continues “she’s not who you think she is, not the angel you see her as.”

Having had enough, she gives him one last hurt, a kick to his ribs, almost promising she broke it as she heard something crack, swiftly followed by a blood curdling scream. “Take him away, deliver him back to Gio but make him crawl his way to him.” With no hesitation, Bruce unties him and drags him away, at Jenna’s side, Viv hands her sanitizing products to clean the blood off her hands, “go, y/n needs you, I can clean this up.” Like Bruce, Jenna leaves with no hesitation, she was a full-blown storm and she needed you to calm her waters down.

~~

Though it was nearly 3am, you had no interest in sleep, instead, you were lost in the silence of the penthouse, being so high up the business of the streets beneath you could not be heard. You thought about the last time you were here, the only time you had been here, before tonight, maybe you were a bit harsh, maybe she deserved it.

As you think about what might’ve happened if you didn’t reject Jenna’s advances, the silence around you allows you to hear an elevator coming up, hopping up quickly, to the best of your ability, you breathe through the stinging pain from your healing body and head out.

“Jenna?” You see a beaten-up Jenna staring at you, fresh from the elevator, only making a couple steps into her penthouse. Though she looked beaten up, the undone buttons, blood splatter all over her shirt, untuck and ruffled up, you knew she wasn’t the one who took the pain, rather, she was the one who gave it. “Jenna?” You say again, hoping this time, your voice would knock her out of her dissociative trance.

“Y/n.” Was all she could mutter out.

You walk closer to her, being inches away from her face, body warmth radiating, your hearts in sync once more, you get déjà vu as this replicates the first night you met her, something about her brown eyes gazing into your soul, as if she were reading every atom in you to know you. “Y/n.” Jenna jolts awake, “I’m sorry, you shouldn’t see me like this.” But before she could turn and leave, you grab her wrist stopping her.

“Stay with me, I don’t want you to leave.”

She slowly grazes her face to yours, her eyes now closed and so are yours, both noses hug each other like a puzzle piece, the speed of your heart now rising to a point you swear it was going to electrocute the both of you from all that static rush, but what Jenna says next would stop your heart.

“Kiss me.”

~~

a/n: did anyone catch the slight 4th wall break and the cigarettes after sex reference hehe. GOODNIGHT OMG IT’S 7AM😭🫶🏽 also smut in ch4 instead of 3 won by like 1 vote 💀

TAGLIST: @somegaybae @omega-horus @lonelym00n @iamthewoe @dksjskx @lazyturtle0-0 @jess-1-e @zaclewiss @lostgirl1415 @pitifulbinx @talialeih @amessbian @aiakum @user173781 @dvrkhcld @urmajestyalex

[z-saint-box]

Tara Duncan (2010) Series Review

"also known as, How Tara is Not a Spellbinder"

[this series review was originally posted on deviantArt]

"also known as, reviewing the first season, because the show is not good enough for a second."

"I want to like it, but I can only analyze it, because it didn't live up to my hype."

Physically attractive, yet fundamentally bland, Tara Duncan is yet another typical heroine of a standard, uninteresting girl show. Unlike the other girls, she does not have charm or personality. Rose (Regal Academy) is cute and silly, Iris (Lolirock) has an outstanding art and character design, and even Raf (Angel's Friends) has identity through how bad her show is.

As for Tara, she comes from a book series I never knew about until I learned about her equally obscure show. The former never saw widespread publication and the latter never saw widespread broadcast. Ironically, to non-French speakers, the animated series is more well-known than the book series. For perspective, I didn't even know about the Kabillion channel that she was on until I learned more about her franchise. And for that matter, only the first two Tara Duncan books have ever been translated into English whereas all twenty-six episodes of the animated series has been. Despite this, there are very few methods for Anglophones to watch the latter. A few years ago, the entire series was available on the official youtube channel until they were removed or deleted for unknown reasons; and at the beginning of 2023, it was removed from Amazon's streaming service Freevee.

However, I have a low opinion of the show, and this may have been the issue of adapting a book series into a cartoon; alternatively, the English dub may even be a bad translation. As a result, this is not necessarily a review of the show in its original voice.

One reason why I had such high hopes for Tara Duncan is the theme song. It is legitimately one of the best intro music for any cartoon ever. Each episode begins with high energy to create anticipation for Tara's next adventure. While Dania Gio slurs the lyrics to the English intro, the opening theme is still just as strong as the original French version. A complete English version does not exist; but the song is so good, I recommend listening to the original, which I can listen to multiple times despite having no knowledge of French. If anything , my opinion also applies to every language the theme song has been adapted into, such as Spanish, Castellano, Portuguese, and Arabic. The only caveat though is, the German version sounds terrible.

Either way, I'm disappointed that I could not write episode reviews for this series, unlike what I did for Regal Academy and Lolirock. It's because there is very little for me to talk about. Every draft proved difficult to write, owing to a lack of opinion. For these reasons, I even had trouble remembering episode titles. Not helping is that I can barely remember specific plot points for the majority of episodes. This very review was incredibly difficult, due to how hard it is to articulate my thoughts. It took an entire year of editing and revising, because Tara Duncan lacks creativity and personality.

The show's aesthetics are presentable, but the art and character design looks similar to W.I.T.C.H, to the point where Tara is comparable to Cornelia; and the resemblance is not only close, but understandable. Tara's line art however, is cleaner, and her color palette is brighter.

Unlike W.I.T.C.H, Tara uses CGI, and even though it is limited to just the vehicles, it looks terrible. I have to mention this because every car, trolley, boat, or airplane looks completely detached from the overall art style. They look so poor, that their time on-screen is limited; or, their time on-screen is limited because of how poor they look. I understand that vehicles are harder to draw than characters, but they must look cohesive with the world they are in; otherwise it will seem that they are a separate entity, even if the intention is to save time, effort, and money. However, this may explain why the 2022 reboot of Tara Duncan is presented entirely in CGI.

Tara uses the most basic fantasy tropes without anything unique to distinguish herself. Werewolves are vulnerable against silver, dragons love gold, and mermaids swim in the ocean. In some fairness, I was unaware of the first two before watching her; but this may explain why the original books were rejected by up to three hundred publishers, at least according to the author herself.

Ironically, vampires on the show can survive in broad daylight and they are uninterested in drinking blood. It is unknown if the latter is the result of censorship, or a design choice to show that they are different from conventional vampires. Still, their most predominant traits are not present, although Serena does order raw steak in the second episode, albeit in the morning.

Despite the variety of mythological creatures at the show's disposal, they are the same kinds that viewers are already familiar with, which also includes sirens, harpies, elves, and mummies.

Although it makes no difference when newcomers to the animated series will not understand a significant portion of her world. Sparrow's actual name is Gloria Davile. Cal's full name is Caliban Dal Salan. And Serena's name in the original French language is Selenba. I did not know the former two until later episodes, and the latter is information I had to search for on my own.

More importantly, a spellbinder is someone who has magic powers, or someone that can use spells; but at the same time, I have also read that Tara is a witch. After having watched the entire series multiple times, a witch is a spellbinder, but a spellbinder is not a witch. If I am wrong, it is the show's fault for not making this any more clear. Not only that, but the original title of the theme song is "Sortceliere," which technically does not translate into "sorceress."

[see, I told you]

And to add confusion, the official youtube channel says that Tara is a "spellweaver," but this could be a mistranslation. For convenience, "spellbinder" will be used instead of spellweaver. Not only is the former used in the English theme song, the characters use the same word in the English dub. And for a long time, I thought the first letter is meant to be capitalized, because it is an important word that specifies an important person.

I suspect that the show was created with fans of the book series in mind; in which case, the lack of exposition is understandable, albeit only for fans who have read the original text(s). But compounding this issue is Tara herself.

Being the main protagonist, she must have the strongest personality. She must have the most unique, interesting, or remarkable traits that define who she is and why she is the central character. Her physical beauty is not enough, and despite how noticeable and distinct it is, no character ever mentions or references the front portion of her hair, which is a different color from the rest of her head. While it is obviously genetics, due to her mother having the same abnormality, there is no explanation, let alone suggestion or why it is unique to her family. Because of this, it also gives the impression that it is just hair dye, or even that Tara is bad or lazy at dying her hair.

[there is something abnormal in this shot, and it's not the vampire]

Beyond this, she is not just attractive, she is a powerful magic user who lives in a luxurious manor that can literally defend her against trespassers. One of her romantic interests is Robin, a handsome elf that her rivals, Sandra and Olivia drool over. Tara even has her own majestic pegasus, and most importantly, her name is the title of the show. These elements prove that she is a Mary Su.

I honestly wonder if her creator, Sophie Audouin-Mamikonian, is actually going to read this, because Tara is a self-insert of herself; and she has admitted to this. I think I should also mention that she likes to be addressed as "Princess," because I honestly believe that the book and show were specifically created be her wish fulfillment. If they were, I'm glad she had (has?) fun, but that would explain the quality of the writing. Nothing is inherently wrong with self-inserts, but they risk becoming  flawless characters, hollow with no personality.

Tara's worst flaw is using via transportus incorrectly, and this does not happen often. If it did, it would present believable irony; she might have powerful magic, but she does not have the experience to use it correctly. And she doesn't even use other spells incorrectly or inefficiently.

In the episode "BFF," Tara says she has trouble making friends on Earth, and that she is a social outcast, but later episodes contradict this. Secondary characters such as Edward have no problem with her, and because she plays basketball, she has no issue with befriending the twins. Either that, or Sandra is less effective at suppressing Tara than she thinks, or Tara is effective at allowing Sandra to inhibit her, because at the end of the same episode, the twins walk over and socialize with her and her friends. I should also mention that in a later episode "Guardian of My Heart," the antagonist completely suspends his objective just because Tara is beautiful, I kid you not.

Even though Sparrow and Cal are not any more interesting as characters, they would make better protagonists. The former has spontaneous transformations that she cannot control, and better demonstrates naivety or lack of experience than Tara. As for Cal, his constant misuse of common Earth phrases exhibit his lack of familiarity in a new environment. But because Tara has blonde hair and blue eyes, the network decided she must be the main character.

[Even though Tara is the main character, how is she any different from the girls you see here?]

In spite of her being a Mary Su, I am legitimately interested in her role as Earth guardian. This enormous responsibility, which was passed down via mother and grandmother, is delegated to a teenage girl with teenage problems, which is highly ironic.

Being the next person in a lineage of spellbinders, Tara Duncan's plots work best when they are focused on the dilemma of balancing life as a spellbinder with the life of a non-spell, as seen in the episodes "Assault on the Manor" and "Heart of Stone."

Speaking of her magic, her powers are not based on any element, so she and her friends are not limited to one specific ability. Having an unlimited range of spells at their disposal, they have teleportation, transformation, miniaturization, memory wiping, and vocal transformation. In spite of this, these are not only basic, but they are not as interesting as they can be; and ironically, the characters limit themselves from using their powers to the full extent of their uniqueness; and due to how broad they are, the characters are not as vulnerable as they should be.

Although one good thing is, unlike the magic in Lolirock, I can not only understand the spells that Tara and friends vocalize, I can even spell them correctly without having to look them up. For example, "via reformis" is a spell that reforms or fixes things; while in Lolirock, I still don't know what "crystal collaida" is. Consequently, via reformis is a boring, uninteresting spell while crystal collaida launches a volley of crystal shards.

In general, Tara's magic is mild and subdued, to the point where climactic battles merely have characters standing back and releasing a beam, or stream of magic. I understand that these moments are meant to be intense, but the animation does not complement the action that is supposedly happening. There is not enough damage, let alone collateral damage to show the impact of what they do. Or just as egregious, when the show makes several action cuts, such as in the climax of "Four Parchments."

But it matters less when every episode follows a typical formula. A semchanach comes to Earth and Alpha team, lead by Tara, is dispatched to subdue him, her, or it. The slow pacing, excess exposition, and copious amounts of dialogue will deter new viewers. A lot of the episodes feel padded; to stretch every story to twenty-four minutes. And the runtime will feel longer if you are completely new to Tara Duncan. After passing through continuity lock-out, the show is better on a second viewing, albeit not by much. For comparison, Lolirock episodes do not require background knowledge of a pre-existing book series, especially when the show specifically takes place between the seventh and eighth book, long after basic exposition has been presented. The only good thing is that episodes can be watched out of order.

Tara is so uninteresting that I actually adore Sandra, despite her function as Tara's sworn rival. Being a direct anti-thesis to the main protagonist, straight down to her physical appearance, this may explain why she has more personality than her; even if admittedly, her worst offenses are physically attacking Tara and stealing Sparrow's diary. Although she is callous and otherwise nasty, she has more potential for growth and development than Tara does.

Whether she is unintelligent or ignorant of how to be a better person, she is a child-like brat without the same responsibilities as Tara. For these reasons, she is cuter and more fun to watch, such as the moment when she breaks down crying because she did not invite enough girls to her party.

Sandra makes every episode she appears in more entertaining. She brings the show closer to reality that Tara must deal with as a result of living on Earth. I would genuinely like to know about her than the title character, because Mary is a Tara Su

Understanding all the elements at play here, the show could have been Tara battling her grandmother. Because her mother is missing, Isabella is responsible for taking care of (or parenting) her. Due to the generation gap, Tara and Isabella could have had more intense conflict between them. Tara would like to be a regular, teenage girl while Isabella demands that she fulfill her obligation as Earth guardian. These issues are lightly discussed in episodes like "Gold Fever" and "Mirror of Youth," but they do not make a major bulk of the show. Furthermore, Master Chem is a surrogate father to Tara, and he is more liberal to her than her grandmother. For these reasons, I think the episode "Summer School" is good, because Master Chem and Isabella literally battle each other over what Tara should do for summer break. I also love the episode "Master Chem's Honor," due to Chem being stripped of his authority over Alpha Team; and consequently, his guardianship over Tara.

[you would think with a dvd cover like this, the show would be more exciting]

But this review is not entirely critical. Aside from Sandra, Sparrow is my favorite character for being cute and feminine. Aside from being attractively girly, she is also half animal, i.e. a big, hairy beast that she transforms into when she is upset or loses control. She is descended not only from the Beauty, but also the Beast, which explains her unusual, but charming quirk.

I also like the character Fafnir for her similarity to Carissa from Lolirock. Like Carissa, she has the energy of a warrior girl she makes very few appearances on the show. Unlike Carissa, she is a dwarf; but this does not stop her from using her full strength.

Master Chem is my favorite adult on the show, and beyond what I explained above, he has unique, and fun ways of debriefing Alpha Team. When Tara and Sparrow are looking through a clothing rack, he startles them by hiding in the clothes. In "Four Parchments," Chem sneaks into Tara's bedroom in the middle of night and scares her. Beyond this, he is sensible and fair to Tara and Alpha Team.

Beyond these three character, I also adore the show's use of split-screens. This is when two scenes play at the same time with a line splitting the screen. This happens when two characters are talking to each other, and they may even interact with the screen itself, usually by pulling or pushing it out. This makes the show a bit more charming, and it uses animation to its advantage. A good example is in the episode "Mirror of Youth," when Isabella pulls the split-screen from off-camera so that Tara can give her powers back to her. Another good example is in the episode "Alpha Male," when a miniature version of Tara pushes it away so that Robin can resume his mission. The creators use animation to the show's advantage, if not embraces it.

Characters and backgrounds are hand-drawn; and surprisingly, the show does not utilize flash animation, even though its production studio could have easily done this to save money. I would rather watch Tara Duncan over Angel's Friends because of this; and overall, character animation is equally good. Even though she and her friends do not wear anything interesting or unique, they are practical and conventional for everyday assignments in an urban environment.

The voice acting is nice, even if is too soft to capture a range of feelings, and even if it comes across as dull sometimes. Tara's voice in particular, is the nicest to listen to, even when it doesn't produce raw (RAWR?!) expressive emotions.

And admittedly, she is a bit less bland or dull than other girl show protagonists such as Iris from Lolirock. Not only does she play basketball with boys, she is also a fan of Madney Spears; and idolizing her, would like to dance just like her, triggering the events of "Gold Fever." So she is also athletic. I should also mention that unlike Iris, Tara is a bad singer.

And what makes her a bit more respectable than other girl shows is that she does not have a line of dolls like Winx, Bratz, or Ever After High. Instead, her series was produced to sell or promote the books, and as said before, maybe even satisfy the author's fantasies. Not only that, but Tara does not attend a special or magical school, a trope that is too common with girl shows.

Because she only lasted one season, she didn't waste all that much time, and it's still better than Angel's Friends, which got two seasons. And in a bizarre twist, I am weirdly nostalgic for her , even though I didn't catch (meet?) her back in 2010 when she was first broadcast, or when she first introduced herself.

But Tara does not have a meaningful premise, nor does she have as much spirit, or girl power, as other shows. It's quite baffling how little creativity she has, yet she was somehow given an entire, twenty-six episode animated series. I am not even the first to criticize her. For that matter, I am not even the first person to scrutinize her writing. And like I said earlier, she has another animated series. There is still no explanation for why her original incarnation did not continue for another season. Although the easiest explanation may be everything I just detailed above, because Tara is clearly lacking magic.

Overall Grade: D / D +

[the D stands for "Duncan"]

[Tara's face when she reads how bad her show is]t

[pedriscroquettes]

something fluffy with gio reyna? 🤧🫨

𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐑 – GIO REYNA

warnings. fluff, mentions of hockey (lots of them), scally!reader, angst, mentions of dead relatives, grief if you squint, and a very dramatic gio

summary. dyeing your brother’s and his best friend’s hair leads to suppressed feelings the both of you are ready to let out.

a/n. get him some toner omds!!!

“am i more of a sandy blonde or platinum blonde?” he looked at you seriously, completely depending on your answer.

“look, the two of you agreed to dye your hair and the color every other athlete uses for playoffs is platinums. so, unless y’all want to look dumb in front of a sold out stadium take the platinum.” gio just shook his head and your brother simply agreed.

americans didn’t have culture per se but they had tradition and one of those included teenage boys dyeing their hair an awful shade of blonde during playoffs for their respective sports. hockey boys did it all the time although they tended to lack toner. and now that you looked around the hotel bathroom you realized the boys sitting in front of you also forgot to get some.

“it’s so great that you both ended up professional athletes.” you sighed as you took the dye out of the box.

“hey, i had good grades and even took ap classes. if i’ve lost intelligence it’s a hundred percent because this dumbass has infiltrated his way into our lives.” joe completely threw his best friend under the bus.

“gee thanks. this is why your sister is the better scally sibling. she’s mean but not harsh.” gio scoffed as he placed the towel around his neck.

“i’ve always been the better sibling.” you reply as you grab the vaseline you bought from the bag.

“okay, joe close your eyes.” you instruct your brother and you’re lucky he’s always been the obedient child.

you carefully apply the vaseline along his hairline, behind his ears, and the area around his neck. you’re careful to avoid his mouth or eyes. you’re too focused on not wanting to cause your brother any discomfort you don’t catch gio’s stare. he’s looking at you with so much fervor. he’s always loved the way you don’t hesitate to help your brother out no matter how stupid he’s being. or the way you’d always bring something to his family’s estate in new york because you insisted on never showing up empty handed. oh, how badly he wanted to be joe right now.

“okay, starboy you’re next.” you stand in front of your brothers teammate.

“starboy? you never call me anything like that.” your brother whines.

“oh, sorry didn’t know our family was also involved in a huge scandal because the fans were mad you didn’t play.” you scoff.

gio can’t help but laugh at your joke. if it had been anyone else he’d probably be more than annoyed but for some reason he found it funny coming from you. after all you knew his family and you didn’t care about the rumors or the allegations. you’d claimed to him so many times that you would never speak ill of them on purpose because his family treated you as kin.

“come on, close your eyes.” you urged him.

it was never easy being in close proximity with gio. his bleu de chanel perfume that he probably started using since he was fifteen always found a way to make you nervous. you’d never come to terms with your feelings for the u.s. national always thinking you only felt so giddy around him because you’d never been so close to another boy. but, now that you have had your own share of flings and relationships you realized maybe there was something more. obviously you never acted on those said feelings in respect of your brother’s friendship with him.

not that your brother dictated who you could or couldn’t date but you knew that if you tried anything it could go one way or another. gio’s slow breathing somehow stops you from overthinking. the american boy loves the feeling of your fingers brushing through his hairline and behind his neck. he could get used the feeling. he imagines your hands on his neck after he wins the nations league because one thing he knew for sure is that he would win it.

he almost whines at the loss of contact due to you grabbing the gloves from the kit. the last thing you wanted was remnants of joe and gio’s stupidity all over your palms. you leave the bathroom again this time in search of a bowl to mix the dye unaware of the conversation occurring between your brother and gio.

“so, when are you going to tell her?” joe looked at the borussia player seriously.

“i was thinking about it. maybe after we win would be nice?” he tries to say but instead it comes out half a question.

“right. and if we don’t win?” joe almost whispers the question as if not to jinx them.

“we will.” gio sends him a smirk. “it’s just what if she- fuck it’s going to be all weird. my mom loves her and so does my dad. i can’t afford to lose her friendship.”

“well, we’ve already established that i’m not a problem. i’m always around the two of you all the time so i’m not worried about losing you. it’s just a matter of you confessing to her as corny as that sounds. i don’t know how my sister feels and i may never know if you don’t make a move. just make sure that there won’t be too many mini gio’s because i also have a professional career myself and won’t be able to babysit all the time.” joe laughs.

“babysit who?” you ask as you walk in with a bowl of the mixed dye products.

“uhm, zimmerman’s kids. yeah he brought them to las vegas and was asking around to see if anyone would take care of them while he took his wife out.” joe easily lies.

“okay, well who’s going first?” you ask as the two boys in front of you start rethinking this spontaneous decision.

an hour later you’re waiting patiently as the two of them take turns rinsing their hair. you already know it’s bound to be a disaster because of the lack of toner and the way the boys couldn’t keep still as you applied the product to their hair. for a second you thought you’d make their hair fall off. as the shower turned off you waited anxiously to see the final result. they’d either be the most talked about because it ended out good or bad. as the door opened you couldn’t help but bite your lip at anticipation.

“oh my god. you look exactly like the hockey kids from st. mary’s during playoffs.” you gasped.

“i’ll be sure to send trevor a selfie and add what you said.” gio talked about one of his friends who happened to play professionally in the sport mentioned.

“it’s not bad. it’s kind of-”

“nice?” joe asked

“cool?” gio chimes in.

“i was going to say cunty but yeah sure.” you stood up getting closer to them to analyze your work. you were sort of proud of yourself considering you lacked toner.

“cunty?” the two of them asked in unison.

“yeah, never mind y’all don’t get it so it’s not cunty anymore.” you sighed.

“oh, fuck. christian is coming over i got to go clean my room. i’ll see you both at the stadium later.” your brother suddenly stands up and heads out the room but not before winking at his friend. a wink you somehow don’t see.

“since when does he care about what people think about him? cleaning his room? he must have a crush on pulisic.” you scoff at your brother’s antics.

“do you have a crush on christian?” gio doesn’t mean to sound nosy nor interrogative.

“he’s not ugly but i don’t have a crush on him, no. plus it seems he’s already stolen my brother’s heart.” you chuckle quietly.

“will you be at the final?” he asks.

“why? you don’t want me there? i thought we were friends.” you whine playing with him.

“no, i- i do. i just- it’s just.” he pauses. “i don’t want you there as my friend.”

“oh? did i do something i don’t understand?” you look confused. what did he mean by that?

“no! i mean that- well i’ve known you since i was like an early teen. you’ve been with me through everything hell you were even with me in qatar. you helped me when i thought it was over for me. you were also there to comfort me when we lost the league. i just think that what i feel for you is more than just a platonic feeling. every time i see you it’s like my day can’t get any better. you’re constantly there making me feel better but you’re only there as a friend.” he starts.

“i want you to be there for me as a girlfriend a partner. i don’t just want to lean on your shoulder i want to leave kisses around your neck. fuck. i don’t know if you feel the same or if i over shared but i felt that if i didn’t say this to you all sooner i would die.” he finally stops.

“gio.” you face him. the boy you’ve loved for years. “your friendship with my brother wouldn’t be affected because of this?”

the only thing gio disliked about you was how selfless you were. specifically in moments like these.

“i told him how i felt and he said he’s no one to dictate how we feel. although, he’s worried about third wheeling that is if you like me. if not then this will definitely be awkward.” the two of you laugh.

“well, my dear nepo baby fortunately for you i find you very appealing. i’m not sure if i’m ready to be your girlfriend just yet or anything but i’m willing to give us a chance.” you say.

“how about wearing my jersey to the game tomorrow?” he suggests.

“now, wait a minute. i’m still a scally and as long as my brother represents this country i will be wearing our name thank you very much. but if you win we could possibly think of something else.” you state adamantly.

“so, i only get something if i win?” he questions.

“obviously.” you roll your eyes playfully.

“fine. if we win the competition you’ll dye your hair as well.” he insists.

“absolutely not reyna. i’ll give you a kiss at most.” you offer.

“deal.” he smiles.

“deal.” you shake hands with the newly blonde boy. you really hope this works out because you can’t help losing his friendship nor stop seeing that smile of his that made you feel like a little girl.

joe carefully helps gio make his way to the stands with his injured leg. although, the injury doesn’t seem to phase the new york native one bit. he’s insistent on making his way towards his family and yours wanting to celebrate the win to the fullest no matter his status. the surreal feeling of winning another competition for his country overtakes the pain he feels as he limps towards your section. with the help of his friend it takes him only six minutes to get to his family.

despite all the turbulent times his family had faced lately they were still the most important people to him. he wasn’t ashamed that they were here nor embarrassed. he hugged them like his life depended on it. he never admitted it publicly but every time his parents said they were proud of him after a win he would get all sappy inside.

“we’re so proud of you and so is he.” his mother told him.

jack. how he missed his brother and wished he was here to witness all the things they should’ve achieved together.

“you okay?” you ask noticing how distant gio was being.

“just thinking about him.” he looks up at the giant screens saying they were champions.

“i believe he would be very happy for you and proud of what you’ve accomplished. but, you knew him best.” you brushed your hand through his hair. a habit of yours that had started when he randomly laid down on your lap during high school.

“well, i know for starters he’s happy that i finally asked you out. i like to think he was very proud when he saw my name on the squad list for qatar and i imagine he would be very happy for me today.” he smiles at the fond memories of his brother.

“i’m sure he would.” you agree with him. “are you okay though? physically?”

“oh, yeah just a few therapy sessions and it should be fine. although my leg is injured my lips aren’t. i’m still waiting on that kiss.” he smirks.

“you’re so corny oh my god.” you smack him playfully.

“oh please have you seen christian’s leaked snapchats? you should be grateful i’m not him. now, about that kiss?” he insists.

“here? in front of your family and the press? wow, you really hate me don’t you?” you ask him jokingly.

“oh, yeah i despise you. this has all been a big plan.” he plays along. “my family loves you already. trust, my mom has already planned our wedding.”

“well, your dad does love me more because my spanish abilities are better than yours and well i would die for your mom. but i’m not sure i’m ready to appear all over the internet.” you play with him.

“it’s not my fault i grew up in a household that only spoke english. anyways, i don’t want to pressure you-”

“come here.” you urge him to get closer to you so you could reach him better.

he scoots a little bit closer so now you’re in a close distance with him. his brown eyes look straight into yours and you internally smile at his features. you hope the gum you’ve been chewing for the past hour comes in handy as you lean down. the kiss is short but sweet. he can’t place his hand on your jaw to deepen it as he needs to maintain his crutches balanced. when you both pull away you notice his rosy cheeks and soon you feel yours heating up.

“by the way i’m going to need some toner.” he smiles up and you simply scoff after playfully smacking him.

[sequinsmile-x]

Adagio

ad·​gio / adjective

In an easy graceful manner: slowly - used as a direction in music.

It starts slowly.

-x-

Hi friends!!

This is a fic for the lovely @serqueljisbon who was my 3000th commenter over on A03.

This is your classic getting together/idiots in love fic with a smattering of smut. Perfect for a Sunday evening!

-x-

Words: 4.7k

Warnings: Mentions of injury/canon typical violence. Smut, 18+

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

It starts slowly. 

Weeks and months go by and she can see Aaron trusts her more. The initial resistance he felt towards her melting away and leaving what she liked to think was respect in its place, which in turn had transformed into a friendship ever since he showed up at her front door and asked her to go to Milwaukee with him. Nowadays, she finds herself seeking out the man who lay beneath the stern mask he always seemed to wear. His smile and dry sense of humour occasionally breaking free and making her stomach flip in a way she always chastises herself for, well aware that the feelings she has for her recently divorced boss are nothing short of inappropriate. 

That alone should have been enough to stop her. She was aware that prolonged alone time with him would do nothing but make her feelings for him even more complicated, but her body moves of its own accord as she turns and passes the plate of brownies Aaron had passed her to Dave. She ignores how he smirks and winks at her, a knowing look she hates passing over her friend's face. She doesn’t say anything as she takes off, her go-bag slung over her shoulder as she catches up with Aaron, only a few paces behind him as she calls out for him.

“Hotch.” 

He turns to look at her, confusion colouring his expression as he frowns, “Prentiss, what are you doing?” 

She pops open the trunk of the SUV and places her go-bag next to his, looking at him and suppressing a smile as his confusion only deepens, “Keeping you company.” 

He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, “Emily, I appreciate it but-”

“No arguments,” she says, grabbing the keys from his hands, “And I’m driving.” 

His confusion turns into something close to anger and he frowns, placing his hands on his hips, “Now wait a minute-”

“You’re hurt,” she says, cutting him off again, highly aware of the team looking at them curiously even though they were too far away to hear them speaking, “You’re hurt and you hid it from us. You could have lost your hearing,” she says, clearing her throat as she pushes away the memory of him almost collapsing in the cemetery, “So I am driving and you are going to listen whilst I tell you how much of an idiot you are.” 

He stares at her, and for a moment they are in a silent standoff, both of them looking at each other, waiting for the other to buckle. 

“I am still your boss, you know,” he says eventually, and she smiles as he raises an eyebrow at her, a tiny bit of Aaron peeking out from behind his Hotch mask. 

She shakes her head, “As soon as we get in that car we’re friends, not boss and subordinate and Emily is going to tell Aaron off for being an idiot.” 

He smiles, his eyes flicking to the rest of the team who were still watching them, and he clears his throat before he closes the trunk of the car. He’d known her long enough to understand that there was no arguing with her, that she was a force to be reckoned with, and that there was no point in trying. A small gust of wind blows past them, the smell of her perfume and something uniquely Emily floating past him in a way that forces him to swallow thickly, a desperate attempt to push down the feelings he knew he shouldn’t have. 

“You’re probably going to have to yell,” he says, pointing towards his ear, “I still can’t really hear out of this ear.” 

She bites the inside of her cheek to stop herself from beaming at him. It was moments like this when she’d half convince herself that he felt the same way. That the line between friendship and the hope for more was blurring for him too as she struggled to think of another explanation for the look on his face. An edge of adoration sneaking into his eyes that she’d only ever seen from him when he was with his son. She shakes her head to physically get rid of the thought, sure that she was seeing things, that she was setting herself up for nothing less than heartbreak if she continued allowing herself to think this way. 

She smiles at him, “I’ll keep that in mind,” she quips and she turns to head towards the driver's door, “Come on,” she says, pulling the door open, “If you’re good, I’ll buy you a Happy Meal and everything.” 

He shakes his head at her and gets into the car, buckling his seat belt as he speaks again, “Do I at least get to pick the music?” 

“Only if it isn’t The Beatles White Album,” she mutters, turning the engine on, “I doubt you’ll be able to hear it anyway and I don’t feel like listening to Charles Manson’s favourite music all the way home to DC.” 

He laughs, “And what, you think your taste in music is better?” 

“Than Charles Manson’s? Or yours?” She replies, raising an eyebrow as she drives and he finds himself laughing again. He can’t remember the last time someone could make him laugh like Emily could, or the last time he felt so relaxed around a person. 

It was strange to think how little he had trusted her at first, the timing of when she joined the team nothing short of suspicious with everything else that was going on at the time. If he was honest with himself, something he struggled with when it came to things like this, he knew that wasn’t the only reason he’d been standoffish with her, or the only reason he’d been downright rude at times. From the moment he met her, he’d noticed her beauty, her striking looks taking him aback even though he was still married at the time. It made him overreact, lashing out instead of internalising his anger like he had done for so long. As if simply looking at Emily was enough to undo everything he’d built around himself for years. For decades. 

Then he got to know her. To understand that her beauty was more than skin deep. That she was kind and smart and more empathetic than anyone else he’d ever met. She was impressive, good at her job in a way that he hadn’t anticipated, and loyal. She’d thrown away a job she had fought for to protect him and that was the moment he realised that she was someone he wanted by his side.

Someone he always wanted by his side. 

He wasn’t sure when he’d started to feel more than he should towards her, when he started seeking out her smile and feeling better just when she was nearby. He wasn’t sure when he started to fall in love with her but he knew it was wrong, and he knew he didn’t want to lose her friendship over it. 

They talk about anything and everything throughout the journey, laughing and chatting as if they had always been friends, as if their start hadn’t been as rocky as it had been. They stop a few hours into the drive when she notices how he keeps pressing his hand into his head. She stops by a pharmacy attached to a gas station and forces him to take painkillers that she buys for him. He insists they stop to eat at the small diner nearby and she agrees, finding herself hungrier than she thought she would be. 

They sit opposite each other as they eat burgers and fries and she watches as he winces whenever the door opens, the bell almost absurdly loud. 

“It’s bright in here,” she says, looking around at the pink furniture and lighting, “It kind of looks like what I’d expect from a diner Pen would own.”

He chuckles and nods, “I was thinking the same thing.” 

“We can go if you want,” she says, popping a fry into her mouth, “I know this place must be giving you a headache.” 

“It’s manageable,” he says, “Besides what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t buy you dinner as a thank you for driving me home.” 

Her eyes go wide and she shakes her head, “Aaron you don’t have to-”

“Em,” he says, the use of a nickname making her stomach flip, “I’m buying you dinner. And I saw you eyeing up the pie on the menu so we’re having dessert too,” he adds, smiling at her, “I can manage.” 

She nods, stopping herself from arguing with him, “Thank you.” 

He huffs out a laugh and shakes his head at her, “I should be thanking you really,” he says, “Not just for this but for protecting me with Strauss,” he half smiles at her, “For not hating me for being a complete ass at first.” 

She chuckles half-heartedly, the sound catching in her throat, “You weren’t that bad,” she says, taking a sip of her soda, “And I never said I didn’t hate you a little.” 

He smiles, unsurprised that she was minimising it. She was good at that, reducing what she’d been through as if it was nothing. He decides there and then that he wasn’t ever going to add to it again, and that he would do anything to protect her. 

“I am sorry, Emily,” he says genuinely, “You didn’t deserve any of that and I’m sorry.” 

She considers telling him that it doesn’t matter, that she doesn’t need his apology, but it warms something inside of her chest and she's sure her cheeks are burning with it too. Aaron was not the kind of person who apologised unless he truly felt it was due and it felt like one more step towards something she wanted more than she could admit even to herself. 

“Thank you,” she says, smiling at him, “That…thank you.” 

The waitress comes over, a kind smile on her face, “Can I get you folks anything else?” 

They look at each other for a moment, both silently aware that something between them had changed. He’s the first to break eye contact as he looks up at the waitress, “Two slices of the pie please.”

The waitress nods and walks away leaving the two of them alone again, and Emily smiles at Aaron when their eyes meet. 

She’d started to fall in love with him slowly, but all of a sudden it was overwhelming, spreading through every part of her until it was all she could think about.

___

He can’t sleep. 

He finds himself pacing his hotel room, the pure adrenaline running through his veins that had started the moment he found out Emily and Spencer were in danger nowhere near fading even though it was all over. They were safe.

She was safe.

If he closed his eyes he could still hear Cyrus hitting her, he could hear her cry out even though she told them she could take it. He could see her blood-covered shirt and the bruises on her face. The way she stood so carefully as the others hugged her in relief, well aware that it meant she had injuries none of them could see. The thought of her being hurt, the reality of it, was too much to bear. 

He leaves his room without thinking about it, his body moving of its own accord as he walks the short distance down the hall to her room, already knocking on the door before he’s fully aware of what he’s doing.  She opens the door and he has to physically stop himself from reacting to her injuries, the purple mottling on her face somehow worse than when they parted ways in the foyer of the motel just a couple of hours ago.

“Aaron, hi,” she says quietly, “Are you ok?”

The absurdity of the question given the couple of days she’d had almost makes him laugh, but instead, he shakes his head at himself and turns to walk away, “Sorry, I probably woke you up, I’m-”

“No, you didn’t wake me up,” she says, reaching out and placing her hand on his arm, “I can’t sleep,” she smiles tightly at him, “I think there’s some scotch in the mini bar if you want to come in for a drink,” she says, watching his face closely, carrying on before he can refuse, “I could do with the company.”

It’s playing dirty and they both know it, but he nods and she steps back to let him past her. She closes the door and it’s only when she turns to look at him that he realises what she’s wearing - an old, almost worn through in places, Yale t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. 

“I uh…always assumed you slept in a suit,” she says, offering him a half smile as she looks at his outfit also made of an old t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. He chuckles and shakes his head, looking down at himself and realising he was barefoot, that he hadn’t even slipped his shoes on before he came to check on her. 

“No,” he says, laughing with her, “sorry to disappoint.” 

She laughs and then winces, pressing her hand into her bruised ribs, “Not a disappointment,” she says, breathing through the pain, “I like it. It’s nice seeing you casual,” she relaxes as the pain passes, “I offered you a drink-”

“Sit down, Em,” he says, guiding her to sit on the edge of the bed, “My room has the same layout so I know where the mini-bar is.” 

She doesn’t argue, unsure that she’s capable of anything other than doing as he’s told, pain lancing through her entire body as she sits down. It makes her dizzy, her head swimming as she tries to breathe through it. She feels the bed dip next to her and turns to look at him, smiling as he passes her one of the glasses of scotch in his hands, her eyes flicking to the two abandoned mini bottles on the side cabinet. 

“Thanks,” she says, sipping her scotch and enjoying the burn of it down her throat, a well-needed distraction from her pain. 

“Do you need some painkillers?” He asks, watching her carefully, “There’s a CVS down the street I can-”

“No,” she says, tipping the rest of her drink back, “They gave me some at the hospital,” she shakes her now empty glass and hands it back to him so he can stretch to put it on the nightstand, “The scotch will help too.” 

They fall into silence and he sits there, drinking his scotch as he smells her soap lingering in the air, the smell of smoke that neither of them would be able to shift for days a chaser that reminded him of the danger he’d put her in. 

“I’m sorry,” he says, finishing his drink and putting his empty glass down next to hers. She frowns as she looks at him.

“What for?” 

He shakes his head at himself, “For putting you in danger, for…for getting you beaten by that maniac. Take your pick.” 

She sighs, emotions she can’t name swirling in her chest, “Aaron-”

“I put you in danger, Emily,” he says, louder than he intended, and then he clenches his teeth, desperately trying to draw some of his anger back in to let it fester where it belonged. He leans forward, his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.

“It’s not your fault,” she says quietly, reaching out and placing her hand on his back. It makes him jump, an innocent touch from her curing more than he thinks it should. He turns to look at her, still hunched over on her bed, “It’s not your fault,” she repeats. 

Aaron sits up and sighs, shifting so they are closer to each other, their knees touching, and he shakes his head, “Em-”

“It was all him,” she says, placing her hand on his knee, “It was Cyrus. Not you. And we both know I would have gone in there even if we knew it was all going to go to shit,” she smiles at him, their eyes locked together. She feels her heart stutter in her chest, everything she’d been struggling to push down for weeks, the fact that she was pretty sure she was in love with him, threatening to spill out in front of him, “It’s not your fault.” She cups his face, her thumb stroking over his cheek as her eyes search his for something, anything, that tells her he doesn’t want this too, “It’s not your fault.” 

He knows this is it, something they have been walking towards for weeks now, from the moment they met if he was honest. He sighs, “You’ve just been through something traumatic.” 

“Aaron, do you want to know what I told myself when I was in there?” She asks, shifting so she was even closer to him, and he shakes his head in response, “I told myself that if I made it out if Cyrus didn’t beat me to death or kill us all,” she watches as he sighs, his head dropping forward so their foreheads touch at the mere thought of her dying, “I’d kiss you. I told myself that I’d just do what I know I’ve wanted to do since I saw that footage of you being blown up in New York.” 

He pulls back and cups the back of her head, his fingers tangling into her hair, “Em-”

She leans forward and kisses him, her lips firmly against his. For a second, the longest of her life, he doesn’t respond and she thinks she’s made a mistake. But then he kisses her back, his hand travelling to her cheek as he holds her in place. She licks along the seam of his lips and he opens his mouth, the taste of scotch and toothpaste and something that was just him invading her senses, making her shift even closer to him, seeking out everything he could offer her. 

They get lost in the feeling of each other, hands wondering as they finally give in to something they’d both wanted for a long time. His hand skips down her side, catching on a bruise and it makes her gasp, pulling away as she winces at the pain that spreads up through her chest. 

“Shit, Em. I’m sorry,” he says breathlessly, and she stops him, shaking her head as she catches her breath. 

“It’s not your fault,” she says, reaching for his hand and squeezing it, “We might have to put anything more than making out on hold until my ribs have healed though.” 

He nods, “We have a lot to talk about anyway,” he says, tucking some hair behind her ear, smiling when she rolls her eyes at him, “How about I take you on a date when you’re better?” 

She smiles, and she nods her head, biting her lower lip to try and capture it, “I’d like that,” she says, “Can you stay tonight?” She asks, and he sighs, unsure if it’s a good idea to cross any more boundaries tonight before they discussed anything, “Please,” she says, squeezing his hand again, “I…I think if I sleep I’ll dream about him.” 

“I’ll stay,” he promises as he drops a kiss on the top of her head. Aaron closes his eyes, anger for a man who had blown himself to pieces burning in his veins, and he nods, gentle as he tugs her towards him so she’s in his embrace. 

“I know you’re going to be a gentleman about all of this,” she says, her tone of voice making it sound like that was the worst thing in the world and it makes him laugh, “But we can still make out before the date, right?” 

He pulls back and looks at her, smiling before he leans back in, his lips against hers his answer.

___

He was everything she’d always told herself she didn’t want. 

He buys her flowers. He shows up on time at her door for their date with flowers in hand as she mutters something about specifically buying one he knows won’t be poisonous to Sergio, even though the cat barely looks at him in the brief time they were in her apartment. That combined with how good he looks along with how on edge she feels from their stolen moments together over the last few weeks, and the knowledge she has of how good it feels to sleep in his arms, makes her want to jump him then and there in her kitchen. 

Instead, she lets him take her to dinner at a French restaurant she’d idly mentioned once. She makes a point of ordering in French, well aware of how he watches her carefully throughout, a now familiar look burning in his eyes. 

They barely make it past her front door before she’s on him, her hands in his hair and her tongue in his mouth as they grasp at each other’s skin. She moans as his hand slides up her back and he pulls away, making her groan in frustration. 

“Em-”

“Aaron,” she cuts him off, chasing his lips, “We’ve talked a lot,” she kisses him again, “We both want the same things, we both want this,” she says, smiling as he kisses her back, “I need you.” 

He walks her backwards so she’s pressed up against the wall, delightfully trapped between him and exposed brick, and she gasps as he pushes his leg between her thighs. He kisses her neck, his lips soft against her skin in a way that makes her shiver. 

“I want this too,” he says, pulling back to smile at her, “What I was going to say is we need to make sure the front door is locked.” 

She chuckles, grasping at the lapels of his jacket as she pulls him in for a kiss, “You get the door, I’ll meet you in my bedroom.” 

He’d stayed over a few times. Nightmares and the inability to sleep alone a hangover of what had happened in Colorado. He made her feel safe. It was why she’d snuck into his room when they were away on cases, seeking out the sanctuary she was able to find if he was nearby. As predicted he’d drawn the line at anything more than making out with her before their date, always stopping her as soon as hands drifted under clothing. She kicks off her shoes and slips her dress over her head, throwing it over the chair in the corner of her bedroom. She briefly looks at herself in the mirror and looks at her reflection. 

She’d bought new lingerie, something she hadn’t done in years. It was black and lacy. A matching set that she’d bought with Aaron in mind, the mere thought enough to make her skin fizz. There were still bruises lingering on her skin, shades of yellow and green now as opposed to the initial shades of black and blue, and they barely hurt. Her ribs were healed, and she had a letter from her doctor that said she was fit for work and other activities. She’d placed the letter on Aaron’s desk that afternoon with a wink and a smile and he’d immediately understood, smiling back at her as he said he’d make a reservation. 

“You look gorgeous.” 

She turns to look at him, her cheeks flushing as he looks her up and down from where he was standing in the doorway. She watches as his eyes catch on her ribs, lingering over the fading bruises, and she steps towards him.

“They don’t hurt anymore,” she says, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, her arousal increasing at the press of his suit against her bare skin, fulfilling a fantasy she hadn’t known she’d had until that moment. His hands skip up her sides, enveloping her ribs in his hands, his fingertips almost meeting on her back. She gasps, unable to cover how she winces slightly, and he raises an eyebrow at her, “Ok, they barely hurt.” 

He leans down to kiss her, his lips soft against hers, and she sighs at the taste of the desert they’d shared lingering on his tongue. 

“We don’t have to do anything, sweetheart,” he says as he pulls back.

She thinks it should annoy her that he’s so protective, and she knows it would if it was anyone else. But she can see how he’s holding onto his control, his eyes as full of desire as she knows hers are, his hands soft yet insistent on her skin as he maps it out for the first time, and she finds it endearing. 

“The doctor signed me off,” she says, twisting his short hair at the back of his head in between her fingers, “For work. And sex,” she kisses his jaw, “I asked specifically about having sex with my very handsome boss.”

He pulls back from her, his eyes wide, “You did not?”

She laughs and pulls him back in, her arms tight around his neck, “Ok, I didn’t,” she admits, “But I’m fine,” she assures him, kissing him again, losing herself in the feeling, “And I want this, you,” she says, pressing her hips into his, “We’ll just…go slow.” 

Aaron smiles and runs his hand up and down her back, memorising the soft feeling of her skin, the way she reacted to his touch, her breath catching in her chest. “I can go slow.” 

They take their time with each other. Slowly taking off each other's clothes and exploring skin they had only been able to imagine before. He takes her apart with precision again and again, as if he’d written the manual to her body and she eventually has to push him away with her foot, laughing breathlessly as he barely gives her the chance to recover before he tries to build her up again. 

It’s soft. Gentle and slow, and everything they both thought it wouldn’t be as they tip over the edge together, their hands linked next to her head on the mattress, their noses bumping into each other as they break their kiss, both too breathless to continue. She lays under him, ignoring the slight ache in her ribs because this is what she’d wanted for so long and she wants it to last forever. 

Eventually, he rolls off of her. Once they both clean up they crawl under her covers and curl around each other. They lie in silence, his fingers trailing up and down her back as she does the same on his chest. 

“I love you,” he says almost out of nowhere, the words escaping before he can stop them. She freezes briefly before she pulls back to look at him, an unreadable expression on her face that makes him panic, “Shit, Em I know it’s only been-”

“I love you too,” she says, cutting over him before he can spiral, and she smiles at the visible relief on his face, “And I know that’s ridiculous to say after one date, I know,” she shifts so she’s sitting in his lap, “But I do.” 

The only thing he can do is kiss her, his hands on her back as he pulls her closer, desperate to feel her skin against his again. To commit everything about her to memory even though he knows they’ll have more than this, that this was the start of something big for them both. He groans as she rolls her hips over his and he pulls back from the kiss, smiling widely at her when she whimpers, her desperation clear. 

“I thought you said we should go slow,” he quips, hauling her even closer, moaning as she notches against him. 

She smiles and hooks her arms around his neck, her nose against his, “Screw going slow,” she says, kissing him fiercely, “I want to fuck the man I love.” 

His laugh is lost as she kisses him again, and they lose themselves in each other and the promise of what the future held.

-x-

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[broken-clover]

2- Stars

Technically this one was gonna be for a different fandom, but 80% of the way through I thought it didn't fit the theme well enough and relocated it. Despite it being a little more spur-of-the-moment, I'm still happy with how this one turned out!

Today's is a little fluffy date piece with Giovanna and Ramlethal. Please note that while I intend to make the usage of constellations as realistic as possible, with how hemispheres work and where different easy-to-see nebulae are located I ended up taking a bit of artistic liberties. A little ironic, since I've got a whole headcanon about Giovanna being autistic about space. Oh well...

-

“There. It’s riiiight…”

Ramlethal felt the hand around her wrist direct her finger westward until it was pointed at a cluster of spots.

“There. That’s the Carina Nebula. It’s one of the easier ones to see, so it’s a good spot to start with.”

If she squinted into the night sky, she could swear there was a tiny hint of red between the whitish dots. “That’s it up there? Wow…”

“Pretty view, huh? Told ya that Illyria’s got too many lights to see the really good stuff.”

Of course, Ram was half-sure that part of the reason she’d been invited to a scenic hilltop at night was as a dramatic romantic gesture, but Giovanna wasn’t wrong in that regard, either. She hadn’t been aware of the sheer amount of color that was visible in the night sky.

“So what’s in it?”

“‘What’s in it?’ Geez, Ram, what isn’t in it?” An elbow playfully nudged her in the side. “It’s got a whole bunch of open clusters, it’s got the most luminous star in the Milky Way, and it’s got these things called Wolf-Rayet stars in ‘em, so that probably speaks for itself why I like looking at it.”

Ram laughed, and Rei perked up, unsure if the mention of wolves involved her or not. She lowered her head again with a huff, and Giovanna scratched her between the ears. She ducked back under the legs of her telescope, delicately twisting the knobs and slightly moving the position. “I’m gonna scoot over a little, there’s another one that looks really good through the scope.”

While her girlfriend worked, Ram looked back up at the sky. She had already lost track of where she’d been directed to before, but any part of the sky was nice. After a few casual outings, she knew enough to spot a few patterns. The summer triangle, Aquila and Cygnus branched off from it, Sagittarius. She still wasn’t quite sure that they looked like swans and people and snakes and horse-men, but it was easy to get swept up in Giovanna’s excitement when she showed them all off.

“I know they’re big,” Ram said. “I know they only look so small because they’re so far away. But it still feels like I could pluck a few out with my fingers and hand them to you.”

“Heh! Well, then we’d have a biiiig problem, because now there’s a giant ball of plasma burning everything.”

“I’d do it anyway. If you asked me to.” She replied, only for her face to scrunch as she broke out into more laughter. “I’m sorry, that was very corny.”

“Very. But I like corny. Speaking of…”

Giovanna gestured for her to approach, still staring into the scope. The Valentine squeezed in close. “What are we looking at?”

“Here, put your eye up to the lens.” Gio took a step back, allowing the other to take her place. “Don’t jostle it too much. You see that big glowing spot? That’s the ring nebula.”

There was something round and bluish right off-center in the telescope’s view. “It’s shaped differently from the other one.”

“Yep! That one’s made of an old star that’s breaking down. It’s changing into a white dwarf and dumping old parts of itself all over while it does.”

“So…that one’s dying?”

“All of ‘em do, after enough millions of years,” she nodded. “But all the stuff they shed flies around space and ends up making new ones.”

Ram went quiet for a moment, thinking to herself. “You don’t think that’s sad?”

“Sad? Maybe a little.” Giovanna sat back on the hillside. “I think it’s cool. Every star’s made of pieces of old ones. Sometimes they make other stuff. Y’know, all the stuff on earth originally came from space. Plants and rocks and water ‘n all that. People too. We’ve all got little pieces of space in us.”

Ramlethal continued staring through the telescope. She wondered how far away the stars had to be. She wondered how bright it had to be in order to be seen from so far away.

“I wasn’t made the way humans were. Are there still pieces of space in me, too?”

“Probably.”

It wasn't a very convincing answer. She continued to look. Behind her, she could hear both Giovanna and Rei moving around.

“Hey. Ram. Look at me real quick.”

Reluctantly, she did, and as soon as she turned, there was something warm against her face. The suddenness made it difficult to process, and as soon as she tried, something else wet slobbered along her arm.

“Rei, down!” Giovanna stepped back from the kiss to lecture the dog. “I had a moment going! I was gonna- augh…” She put a hand over her face. I was gonna do a thing where I went ‘well here, you can have a little of mine,’ but now the whole thing just feels weird.”

It was a little weird, but Ram thought it was weird in a good way. “I like that you tried.”

“I just didn’t want this whole thing to end up bumming you out.”

She nodded. “I get it. But I’m having fun. I like spending time with you.”

The two of them sat down together, using Rei as a pillow and watching the stars as they continued to twinkle.

“Can I ask you a question, Giovanna?”

“Eh? Yeah, always. What’s up?”

“Why was the ring nebula corny? I’m still confused.”

The woman was silent for a moment, then snickered to herself. “It’s- y’know what? Let’s wait a couple years ‘n come back to it.”

“It’s going to take me that long to figure it out?”

“Nah, it’s just that with how much I paid, it’s gonna take me a while to save up.”

“...I still don’t get it…”

“Heh. Ask your sister.”

[gregorygerwitz]

“You’ve just won one free pass to my bedroom.” + Nate/Gio

post-finale AU angst? you offered me spicy and I said 'no 💛'

[ dialogue prompts ]

warnings: off-page death, reference to past terminal illness, swearing

He was really beginning to hate hospitals.

After being in and out of enough rooms and seeing more than enough doctors while his mother was getting treatment, and the follow up when she was in recovery, Nate never wanted to see the inside of a hospital again. The only reason he visited at all was when he needed something from his sister. Even then, he preferred to not go too far past the waiting room, at least when he could help it. That was one of the perks of having a sister who was a doctor - he could get anything he needed at home if something about the job got physical, and he had someone on speed dial if anyone else got hurt and needed help.

If someone got shot at, or got punched and ended up with a black eye or a split lip, or any of the million other hazards that came from their line of work, Nate knew exactly who to count on. Grace had gone to medical school. She was smart. She saved people's lives every day. She could do anything.

At least, everything had seemed that way. He'd always believed in his sister, always felt like he could lean on her. She'd taken on his debt with Moretti, after all, saved his life by risking her own, and he hadn't even asked. But that night... for the first time in a long time, he remembered that there were some things that even Grace couldn't do.

[ read the rest below or on ao3 ]

She couldn't resurrect anyone. She couldn't go back in time and stop anyone from pulling a trigger. She couldn't make any surgery go faster so that he could get updates. Of everyone who had been shot that night, exactly two of them had survived. With the FBI apparently watching his every move, he shouldn't go visit either one of them, but it had been a very long night already.

Nate had seen the aftermath of the massacre at the bakery, the flashing lights of the police cars and the ambulance. He didn't stick around long enough to figure out if anyone had survived, or who it would have been, not after he talked to his sister. His goal after that phone call was just to get to the hospital, to be there when his mother and Constantine got out of surgery. The last thing he'd been letting himself think about was the massacre - most likely, based on what carnage he'd seen, no one had survived that. Gus, Stavos, Gio...

He could internalize those losses while he sat by his mother's bed and waited for her to open her eyes. As long as he had something else to focus on, the rest of his grief could wait. He could mourn as soon as his heart stopped racing, as soon as he stopped holding his breath.

Except, the mourning started before he was ready for it.

The flatline was still ringing in his ears while he sat in the uncomfortable hospital chair. He'd shrugged his flannel shirt off when things felt more than a little overwhelming, and it had started in his lap. During the time he sat there - he could have been minutes, or hours, or even days - it had slid off of his knee enough to brush the floor with one of the hanging sleeves, and he didn't have the energy to change that. Every inch of him was exhausted, and it didn't feel like he should have any tears left. Surely, the pain was bad enough that he should have been more than numb.

When the chair next to him moved and he felt the gentle squeeze to his shoulder, Nate made himself look up. There was nothing left of him to be surprised when he saw his sister there, the weak offer of support the best either of them could muster. No one could expect anything more, not after the day they'd had - the truth about Constantine's connection to their family, the shock of both attacks, the sudden wave of grief that came with their mother's death, the knowledge that the death toll was so much higher than anyone wanted it to be...

Grace had mentioned, when he arrived, that there was one survivor from the attack on the bakery. He hadn't asked who it was, and she hadn't had time to keep him updated before she ran off to handle something else. And he understood that, with everything else going on. Someone had to check on Constantine, and field questions from the FBI agent who was poking around. He didn't need to know who it was then. He wasn't even thinking about it.

But getting the news when he had just recovered from his latest bout of sobs was more overwhelming than he could have imagined.

Gio.

Of all the people they'd lost over the span of a few months, the trigger he'd pulled himself, the bombs and the kidnapping and the horse that had nearly gotten him killed, he didn't know he was still able to feel relief. So much of it seemed stupid and avoidable when he looked back at it, and the things that were too big to be avoided weighed heavier on his shoulders. He still had someone left besides his sister and Constantine, and that was more than he knew he had any right to ask for.

Nate should have avoided visiting, with a federal agent lurking around the hospital hallways, and it would only put an even bigger target on his back. It would probably put a bigger target on Gio’s back, too, which wasn’t recommended when he was recovering from three gunshot wounds. But where else was he supposed to be?

His mother was dead.

Grace was balancing Constantine and the FBI.

Everyone else had been shot down in the bakery.

The only place it made sense for him to be was sitting at another bedside. He even took a moment to silently thank God that Gio was awake when he slipped into the room. Awake and responsive was good, even if they spent their shared time in silence. They had the beeping of the heart monitor, and the hum of the lights overhead, and steady breathing. It was a lot better than sitting in a silent hallway where he was stuck in his own head. Out there, it was all storm clouds and thunder. At least that room had a silver lining.

Nothing about the lack of conversation worried him. Nate had been a part of the group for long enough, had interacted with the man in front of him more times than he could count, and that was just how things were. Sure, Gio liked to talk when he had something to say, but too much had happened. No one had anything to say about the events of that night, let alone the last few days, not even someone who typically had a comment for everything.

Nate probably still had tearstains on his cheeks, and his eyes still felt puffy, and were definitely still red. There weren't many people who would want to talk to him when he looked like that. Most people would want to be careful about what they said and be too afraid to say anything at all, and he had resigned himself to the quiet that came with new grief. Still, it wasn't that surprising when the voice came from the bed and pulled him out of a daze.

"How bad is it, kid? How many did we lose?"

It took a few tries for him to make sound come out. His mouth was open, but it didn't work as readily as he'd like it to. Listing all the losses of the night, both the lives and the fights they didn't know they were in, would be too exhausting. They'd already lost so much. He was desperately trying to cling to the few good things he could claw from the rubble his life had become.

"It's uh... you, me, Constantine. We're the only ones left."

"Fuck..."

They fell back into the quiet that they'd created before, the air heavier with the truth in it. Nate felt the shift in his gut that came with it - feeling both more and less alone in his little corner of the universe. Saying it made it true. There were less than a handful of people left that he could trust, and that was even including himself. But at least the grief was shared, split between the two of them instead of weighing only on his shoulders. It was another small wave of relief that felt impossible, especially when it was accompanied by the regret of having to share the news at all. Gio could have gotten better rest and had a smoother recovery if he'd said nothing. Grief and stress could make things harder, or something like that. He was struggling to remember what Grace had told him over the years, different pieces of advice getting twisted up with other ones.

"Well, chin up, kid. It could have been worse." He glanced toward the bed to see a familiar smirk, something that had been constant through the last few months of his life. Usually, it came with a lewd comment, or some story that he couldn't stop himself from telling for the third time. It was almost comforting to see, a reminder of what he still had to ground him in the middle of the earthquake of everything else. "You could have been stuck with a buzzkill like Stavos. At least I know how to have fun. Everything will be back to normal in no time."

Nate tried to return the expression, he really did. But the idea of normal that he'd had in his head couldn't ever really come back. He wouldn't be able to go home to his mother's cooking ever again. He wouldn't be able to sit at the table for a game of poker or go for a walk without looking over his shoulder. He would probably be lucky if he managed to drag himself out of the hospital once the night was over instead of wasting away right there in the chair.

He wanted to be a part of the light teasing, the easy energy that came with every ridiculous conversation he had with Gio, but that was hard. The whole truth was still close to his chest, pulling him down too far into the darkness to reasonably reach for the light.

"Yeah... normal..."

"C'mon, no one with us is worth your tears. We'll be fine."

Hiding his feelings used to be easier. The tears on his face didn't help when he was trying to put an uncaring mask in place, the air of nonchalance he'd learned over the years of working with and around mobsters. He was too much of a mess to be relaxed about any part of it. Gio was alive, but so was his mother, and they thought things were going to be fine. Should he really get attached to this new version of his life before it settled? Or was he getting ahead of himself and welcoming more grief into his future?

He knew he was a mess before it was even brought up, before he was called out on it and had the fact presented to him so bluntly. The rest of the mess had brought him along with it, and he hadn't seen the point in trying to clean himself up yet. No one but Grace was really going to see him like that, and it was still up on the air on whether or not he cared about Gio seeing him like that, too.

"Any other losses you need to get off your chest, kid? Is your sister okay?"

"Grace is fine." That was the truth, at least when it came to physical injuries. He wasn't the only one grieving a mother, and she had even more on her plate after talking about Constantine. Nate was in pain, but he wouldn't pretend that he was the only one in pain, or that his pain outweighed anyone else's. "But, uh... they followed Constantine to the house. Shot it up. He's out of surgery and he's supposed to be okay, but my mom..."

The words caught in his throat, and Nate quickly looked down at his hands so that they didn't escape with a new round of tears. He didn't think he was capable of sobbing anymore, not without a good twelve hours of sleep, but his eyes found a way to make more tears no matter how many he'd already shed.

"Hey..."

He didn't have to move his head to see the hand at the edge of vision. That hand had been on the bed just a few seconds earlier, minding its own business instead of intruding on his grief. Now, it was stretched out toward him, an offering of comfort when he didn't know where to look to ask for it. It was something he didn't know he desperately wanted to cling to until he took what was offered, curling his fingers around a warm, alive hand. It was the eye of the storm, a brief pause before everything went to hell again. It was enough.

"That's rough. I'm sorry."

The fingers squeezed his gently.

"Don't worry. If you need anything, you've got me behind you. You and Grace both."

Another squeeze to his hand reminded him to breathe, and Nate slowly shook his head. He took a few moments to breathe again, a big, deep breath that he needed just to find his voice again. It kept escaping him, running away when he needed it most, and it wasn't a solid thing he could cling to like the hand in his and the body attached to. It was a flighty thing, something he was still trying to pin down after years of practice. He could act tough, like the job he didn't wasn't dangerous and didn't risk his life on a daily basis - or at least like he didn't notice or care. Death was a terrifying thing he had to look in the eye and face down more often than he liked, and it was getting all too close. It kept coming in and taking people away from him, and there were only so many losses he could handle on his own. There were too many to carry, and it was only a matter of time before he was next on Death's list.

"That seems like a lot to take on, when there's rebuilding to worry about. And you almost died. You shouldn't be worrying about anyone else-"

"Kid," Gio cut him off sharply, "you're family. I'd crawl out of a grave if it meant helping out when you need something."

The words made Nate pause, biting the inside of his lip to keep from saying something without thinking. The idea of still having a family when all that was left of his own was himself and his sister was odd, but comforting, like the hand he was still holding onto just a bit too tight. He should let go, he knew that, but he really didn't want to. If he let go, the last few good things in his life might burn down, too.

"I'll try not to be too needy while you're stuck in a hospital bed."

That was enough to draw out a laugh that ended with a cough and a quiet wheeze, and he was quick to let go of the hand in his so that the newest problem could be taken care of. He didn't mean to cause this kind of reaction, and there was very little he could actually do that was helpful.

"Damn, Devlin, I just got shot in the chest. You can't make me laugh, of all things." But Gio was smiling, and still trying to hold back his reaction to the comment, not that Nate really understood what was so funny in the first place. "Or maybe it's impressive that you got me to laugh, considering almost everyone we know is dead."

Nate couldn't help the small expression that tugged at the corner of his mouth, though he didn't know if his own weak shadow of a smile counted for much. He didn't really feel better about anything, and he doubted that would change any time soon, but it was nice to have a little proof that he wasn't alone in any of it. He had Grace at his side when they needed to grieve the more normal side of their lives, and Gio for when he needed to grieve the crazy parts. That counted for something.

"How impressive is it, really? You laugh in your own face in the mirror. Though, I see why."

"Low blow, kid. Leave my face out of this. It didn't do anything to you." Gio waved a hand in his direction, the familiar smile growing further into his cheeks. "And it is impressive. Tonight was a shit show, and that's putting it lightly. Seriously, you should get an award for managing this. As soon as I'm out of here, I'm getting you a prize."

Nate felt his own smile widen while he shook his head, leaning forward in his seat. It was an automatic reaction, something that hadn't been entirely uncommon in the last few weeks. Since they had to start covering for each other's felonies regularly, they'd gotten closer, formed an actual friendship outside of the bonds that came with what they did for a living. As awful as it might sound, there was a part of him that was glad that, if only one person could have survived the attack on the bakery, he wanted it to be Gio.

"What kind of prize would I even get for this? A plastic statue with a cheap engraving? A gold medal that's actually chocolate?"

"A chocolate medal? No, it'll be way cooler than that."

They were quiet again while he seemed to genuinely think about the options he had as potential prizes. He'd have plenty of time to think of something while he was recovering. He'd have days, if not more than a week, and all the quiet time on his own to just brainstorm. But he seemed intent on coming up with an answer before Nate inevitably had to leave the room to find his sister again, hopefully before the FBI agent found him.

A few drawn out moments of quiet was all it took, and then Gio snapped his fingers just in time to stop him from drifting back into his thoughts. "I know what it is. Nathaniel Devlin,-"

"That is not my full name."

"-for the ability to make someone laugh in the middle of a fucking shit show, you've won one free pass to my bedroom."

Nate coughed out a laugh at the decisive tone that formed the words, shaking his head. He was too stunned to fight the grin that had formed on his face at the sheer ridiculousness of the offer. Maybe they both deserved prizes for the ability to make each other laugh when they really shouldn't be able to. Though he wasn't going to make quite the same offer, not even close.

"Yeah, to change your bedpan, maybe." He shook his head again when his ability to speak returned, unobstructed by swallowed laughter. "Someone's going to have to take care of you until you're back on your feet, and you don't have a lot of options. And, in case you haven't already noticed, I'm technically in your bedroom, right now."

Gio scoffed and glanced around the sterile hospital room with a frown, most likely feigning his offense. "Then this is breaking and entering. I need to have you removed. Hit the button that calls a nurse into here?"

Rolling his eyes, Nate made himself stand up from his seat, his grin fading into something softer. It was a weak smile, but still there. "I should go see if I can find Grace again, anyway. I'll be back again later. Get some rest so we can get you out of here sooner."

"You're ungrateful. I offered you a wonderful prize, and you made a joke about it. At least revisit the idea once this shit show is over."

"Yeah, Gio, whatever you want."

[regretful-kishin]

I said I'd write an essay about Silver if allowed, and I was left unsupervised (aka sleep schedule is ruined and 4am idea brainrot is an all day thing now). Anyway, this became more of a summarizing of both Silvers' stories with just a bit of how they finally start to heal at the ends. Oops?

Essay under readmore (warning! Goes over pretty much everything so manga AND game spoilers ahead. You've been warned)

In manga canon, he was taken away from his home at 2-3 via giant bird snatching him away and across to another region, had a mask made of ice sealed to his face, and forced to grow up as a child soldier without a childhood. The only silver (heh) lining was Blue, who was kidnapped not too long after and took up the mantle of older sister.

When they finally manage to escape, the hardships aren't exactly over either. Neither could remember home and when Blue eventually figured out she was from Pallet they choose to travel separately. Even if the choice was mutual and from their point of views logical (be in 2 places to gather more info about Masked Man while Blue also looks for home), Silver still ended up losing his one pillar of support for years until finding Lance post Yellow Chapter-Pre GSC. And SpeLance isn't exactly a great role model, considering the whole tried to wipe out humanity deal (it's also been debated he may have withheld some of what he'd seen from Sneasel either as a grudge against Gio or to keep Silver working under him longer)

Essentially, with the exception of any time he may have been allowed to be a kid around Blue after their escape, which was probably rare, Silver was forced to be a mini adult to survive. When we finally get introduced to him in the GSC chapter, it's easy to assume he's just the standoffish rival (we thought) we knew from the games. We don't get to see him let his guard down until he finally accepts Gold's challenge to a battle, where we finally see him really smiling and enjoying himself (until he gets a call from Lance and had to go back to serious again)

Throughout the rest of the chapter we get to see him quite literally fighting against his past trauma (the Masked Man), eventually accepting Gold's (and Crys') help when the other refuses to let him fight alone. When the battle is finally won at Celebi's Shrine, Silver is fully willing to let himself be taken to the authorities by Green because 1. His fight is over now that Mask is trapped in time and 2. He feels like he doesn't have any reason to keep fighting for himself because his first friend Gold was also trapped. Until he wasn't, appearing on the shrine roof and giving Silver an alibi using the wanted poster that he gave the wrong detail for.

We don't see our crew again until the FrLg chapter, when Silver mentions sending Blue a dress as a gift for when she finally gets to reunite with her parents (like the sweet little brother he is) before he sets off himself toward Kanto to resume his own search.

There he runs into Yellow who takes a look into Sneasel's memory to try helping her junior out. This is why people believe Lance held information from Silver, as she sees a glimpse of a familiar looking face that she'd seen on a statue in Green's gym (previously Giovanni's). It's on their way there that they run into Rocket Executives Sird and Orm, who are there to retrieve Silver, with Sird (pretty harshly) revealing that he is the son of their leader Giovanni, and heir to the Rocket throne, throwing Silver off enough for her to have her Pokémon knock him out and grab him.

When he wakes up again in the same room as an unconscious Gio (long story short, very very sick), when he sees the way Sneasel starts acting? We see him break. He wanted so much for his home to be some place warm and welcoming like Gold's, where he could finally be happy, only to find out his home is as cold and cruel as he grew up.

We end up learning that his home wasn't so cold, that Giovanni really was a loving dad who never gave up searching for his son even if he had to perform truly evil deeds to do so (every legendary hunt and note by Team Rocket can be tied to this in some way. Additional essay on subject pending), and we get to witness this love as he holds Silver (unconscious again) and Sneasel up out of reaching flames as he himself burns.

At the end of the arc, when Silver wakes up and Gio is unconscious again (they just can't seem to be awake at the same time), he starts to feel down again because his fate is with the heartless Team Rocket. It's not until Green points out that they were found in the fire, but Silver is unharmed while Gio is burned from holding him up that Silver truly breaks down for his father.

Of course, the arc ends on a heavy cliffhanger that doesn't resolve until the end of the next one.

In HgSs, we get not only the return of Team Rocket, but the return of Masked Man Pryce himself on top of Arceus rampaging.

Pretty much 24 hours of nonstop battling, getting injured (getting paralyzed by a Ghastly lick to the face had to have left some lasting effect, and I'd be surprised if none of Arbok's poison stings hit skin), almost losing his dad to sickness, then his dad walking away after being healed by Celebi to continue Team Rocket while telling Silver to train under his 2 mentors to come defeat him (one of those mentors being the guy who KIDNAPPED him and caused at least 70% of the problems by proxy (Gio told Silver Team Rocket wasn't the result of him being taken away but as I noted earlier, many of their endeavors can be tied to finding Silver)), said Kidnapper just. Being allowed to come back without facing the consequences of his actions. A lot is piling up on his shoulders until Gold quite literally throws a solution in his face: the script for Proteam Omega. Yes it's a goofy kids cartoon (most likely on par with real world Power Rangers), but it looks fun and interesting and yes he's going to camp out in front of his best buddy's TV to watch it.

After so many years, he finally has something to let him be a kid again, and he has best friends by his side supporting him!

----

On the game verse side of things, Silver's upbringing is a bit of a mystery. How he was raised could be anywhere from strict, harsh, loving, or rich. Our main clues are him being told that Giovanni was the greatest, and him believing that Pokémon are just tools.

The earliest fact we learn about him is Giovanni left him behind after his defeat at the hands of Red, saying that Team Rocket needed to become stronger. Silver yells back that he's a coward on his own, only standing strong behind his lackeys. When Gio says that Silver will understand one day, Silver yells at his retreating form that he doesn't want to understand. He'll get stronger on his own.

We won't see more of him until the start of the game 3 years later outside of Elm's lab. Talking with him gives us a taste of how rude he is as he tells us off and pushes us away. He ends up stealing one of the starters for himself, whichever one is stronger against ours likely after watching us pick first. (It's also his only Pokémon, meaning he's likely been all on his own these three years without a partner or friend to help him at all on the journey between Viridian and Newbark)

Most encounters with him during the game are on par with early gen rival encounters, with (harsher) banter and battle. However we run into him in Olivine, where he calls the gym leader weak for caring about a sick Pokémon in the lighthouse. Whether this is his continued views of Pokémon just being tools to cast aside when they become useless, or something deeper regarding becoming weak and useless in sickness, who knows. He chooses not to battle us here.

A trainer on route 43 mentions Silver making fun of his Pokémon. This wouldn't be too noteworthy considering Silver calls a lot of things weak, except that Pokémon is a Nidoking, a decently strong Pokémon in gen2 that also happens to be Giovanni's signature Pokémon next to Persian. This is likely the reason this trainer is the only one (outside a Rocket grunt and a trainer outside victory road) to mention Silver, our rival seeing a reminder of the father who left him behind and lashing out enough to be worth mentioning.

In the rocket hideout under Mahogany, Silver refuses to battle us again, instead asking about the guy with the Dragonite. He mentions losing against him, then complains about being told that he wasn't treating his Pokémon with enough love. Just the idea of love and trust makes him mad, and we can't help but wonder why.

He shoves us before stalking away, not being seen again until the Goldenrod tunnels (or in the case of the remakes, the radio tower first where he's furious at us for wearing the Rocket uniform, actually ripping the disguise away before realizing we were trying to sneak in to fight Rocket not join them.) After beating him again is when he finally starts to question what he's still missing, if love really matters so much. He just doesn't understand the idea of love, the pause giving us an idea just how much this is affecting him. If he doesn't understand the importance of showing love and trust. Does he even know how it feels to be loved?

He doesn't start to truly understand until we defeat him in victory road, seeing us still stronger than him. He's still aiming to be the strongest, but maybe he'll be less harsh about it. And we see some of his progress much later when we reach Mt Moon when he is genuinely excited to see us, challenging us even though he afmots that he's sure we'll just win again, but still wanting to battle to see more about what he still needs.

He mentions training in The Dragon's Den, and we can actually follow him to see him there training to be better.

And he does get better, because next time he rematches us at the Pokémon league his Golbat has evolved into a Crobat, meaning he's actually been treating his Pokémon with love! And going back to Elm's lab has one of the aides mention that he came to return the stolen starter, only to be told how much the Pokémon loved him and that he could keep it, how when he left he looked happy!

And while that ends up really being the last we see of Silver in the main game outside of rematches and just seeing him at the Den, Pokémon Masters has given us even more insight in his character, especially during the Ho-oh legendary event. He knows that the legendary will only present itself to a pure hearted trainer, so he doesn't want to bother going with us and Ethan to look, so sure that just him being there will mean that it won't show up. It's not until Lance talks to him, tells him how much his Pokémon cares about him (Sneasel, a Pokémon that many believe was the one stolen from Kirk in Cianwood) and how he's become a better trainer that he changes his mind to go with us and Ethan.

And even then he doesn't believe he's good enough, turning away when Ho-oh appears to the group only to be surprised when the legendary chooses him! Because he's letting himself be a better trainer and person!

The Johto Villain arc shows us that he still plans to become the strongest on his own, and he refuses any help from anyone ESPECIALLY against his father. He does eventually (and reluctantly) accept help from the Johtrio when it becomes obvious that he can't do everything alone, and that's ok. His one condition is that he alone fights Giovanni. But even then, in the end he accepts Ethan's help against Giovanni because this isn't just his battle against his father, this is everyone's battle against Team Rocket. He accepts that he'll have his chance to prove himself later, he can battle alongside his rival (still refusing to call anyone a friend at this point).

The addition of the trainer lodge gives us even more insight on how he feels about friendship with his hangout events, at first believing that to be friends he has to act all friendly and smiley and not like himself until we tell him that it's himself exactly that people wanna be friends with, that he doesn't have to do stuff that isn't him for people to like him.

Just the fact that he's in the lodge at all (especially for the opening wave of trainers!) proves that he's opening up, that he's willing to make friends and do stuff that isn't just training and battling and getting stronger. That he can just hang out and talk about places and Pokémon and ninjas and just have fun.

There's so many more events and scenes that gives so much more, but I think this is getting pretty long and also off track, and I'm losing steam so night all!

[harrysmaison]

blogs whose themes/icons/headers etc you like best gogogogogoogog

what an interesting ask! so i took a look at a few of the blogs i came across, or that came to mind and here's a bunch of my favourites (in no specific order)

to begin with, i always always love gio @heartshaped-lou 's themes. she has the prettiest themes which just yk they just work. Always. Look at her current header.

the trans heart!!!! the rainbow! it's so cuteee isn't it?

next up, @pop-punklouis.

I love hope's header. I love the vibe of it all. Hell yeah, punk is not dead. She's badass, that header is badass and I'm in love.

Mari @hlkings icon (which is also her header) is very very cool.

Very cool. Just like her. I remember talking to her abt headers and stuff once and she told me how it's become sort of her brand now. It' totally goes along her vibe, and i love that every time i see the hot Louis smoking pic i think of her.

Then there's my beloved dheera @stylinsuns. Her headers, even tho not larry related, always serve aesthetic. She's a full on aesthete, she's up there. And her most recent header is just *chef's kiss* to die for.

For those of you who don't know her, this GORGEOUS woman is a legend in India, Rekha, the woman who rules our entire country's hearts. And this is just so soft. The pinks and the roses and that expression that I've been meaning to tell you dheera, very much matches yours.

I also have a thing for @ladychlo 's header

Following are the reasons:

1. Louis looks like he's wearing an eyeliner, smth i would die for to happen irl

2. Louis in black and white

3. Louis close up

4. Louis

Let's also take a look at @kiwikiwiandkiwi 's header.

Look at that. So intimate so soft so beautiful. It's like i can feel that texture. Its a fanart, it's totally gorgeous, kudos to the artist (@sweetest-devotion ) I'm so so so in love.

speaking about art. @ialwaysknewyouwerepunk 's header is their own art.

And it's golden art. And it's ball pen art. And it's a beautiful art. And i love that art. And i love that header.

Let's not continue this art topic i could go on and on and on.

If we're talking abt the entire theme, @perksofbeingasunflowerblog 's theme does this to me.

Unexplainable things. It's all green, and it looks much better on desktop but I'm too lazy to go take a desktop ss rn so go check yourself one day. But i love Manas theme. And that title, yes.

Also taking this chance to mention @bluewinnerangel (i just checked their header and wow ok wow I'm am adding this after everything was said and done) that is the MOST BLUEWINNERANGEL header EVER.

Alien baby up to smth art and the colors and the way it shimmers and it's so mischievous and fun and chaotic just like demy.

Now if i didn't have to go to sleep, I'd go check out some more blogs and rant more but this post shouldn't be any longer fjfjfhf so I'm mentioning a few blogs below who's themes/icons/headers I'm in love with.

@kieumy who creates their headers and they're always beautiful

@louishandkink Dani and her hand kink and her infecting us all with those sexy hand headers

@thetriangletattoo I'm jealous of that header. I just am. I love it too much.

@londonfoginacup has the cutest icon. Squinty eyed louis is 💓💓💓

@thedevilinmybrain Jennifer and her extremely hot header. Louis doing that thing and killing me

And there's so many moree but i gotta go to sleep now soo this is where I'll stop. I'm sorry this got so unnecessarily wrong.

Ps: if anyone is not okay with me adding pics of your header (especially art) lmk and I'll remove immediately!

[melanieph321]

IT'S HERE PART TWOOO!!

Lichantony - Back To Me Part 2

Summary - A two part series about how Antony comes to live with Lisandro and his girlfriend upon his first arrival at Manchester United.

"Licha, please tell Antony that he looks hot in that shirt?"

Was she crazy? He was determined not to direct his eyes at Antony. Not until he had closed the last buttons to his shirt. It was bad enough that he was living with them until he had found a house in Manchester. Lisandro had never felt so uncomfortable in his home as he did during the last few days that Antony had been staying with him and his girlfriend.

"Yeah it looks nice." He mumbled, eyes still gazing up at the lamp in the sealing.

"You're not even looking."

He sighed and lowered his gaze. A sudden shock went through his body, traveling downwards and weighing heavily in the pit of his stomach. Antony had developed a more fashion sense sine he left Ajax. He wore more bling and diamonds now, however he was still rocking that slick back platinum blond hair. A color Lisandro hated that he loved on Antony.

"Right, doesn't he look sexy?" His girlfriend said excited. She was proud of having picked out both Lisandro's and Antony's outfits for the evening. They were going out tonight to some fancy bar in town. A few players and their girlfriends would be there so Lisandro's girlfriend suggest that they'd go since it would be a good way to further introduce Antony to a few people in the team.

"Maybe I'll get cold with so many buttons open." Antony said, covering the exposed skin on his chest with his hand.

"No, no, it's fashion, right Licha?"

"Huh?" Lisandro batted his lashes, diverging his eyes from Antony's chest to his eyes. Heat rose to his cheeks as Antony smirked. He had caught him staring.

"It's fashion no?" His girlfriend said, insisiting that Antony wore his shirt unbuttoned underneath his jacket.

"Can we just go, or we're going to run late." Lisandro grabbed the keys to his car. He was still cranky from this morning when he had accidentally walked in on Antony as he was getting out of the shower.

"Sorry." He said, not bothering to reach for a towel fast enough.

Lisandro thought he had been clear about the boundaries he had set up between them as Antony was staying with them.

No talk of our time in Ajax. No talks of that time I helped you when you twisted your ankle and no..."

"No mentioning of our trip to Cancún. I got it." Antony said, slightly irritated by the speeches Licha would give on their car rides back home from training. Antony got to sit shotgun during those rides, however, tonight Licha was clear where he wanted him. "Backseat." He said pointing to the door.

"Baby don't be silly." His girlfriend said. "If you two want to sit in front I don't min..."

"No, you sit with me in the front, Antony, you go in the back."

There was no doubt that Licha was turning into a grumpy black sheep. However with Antony now sleeping wall to wall with him, Lisandro felt like he was fighting himself daily. Fighting the urge to leave his girlfriend's bedside and sneak into the guestroom where Antony slept. The things he wanted to do to Antony whilst he laid on the bed face down.

"Baby is that ich still bothering you again?" Lisandro had developed a very compulsive way of itching his skin whenever he had his sinful thoughts about Antony, especially when around his girlfriend.

"I'll get you some ointment from the pharmacy tomorrow." She said.

They arrived at the bar that had been booked out entirely for the evening. It was Fred's wife hosting the event and Antony was fast to get acquainted with Fred his future teammate.

The girls got to talking whilst the guys went to the bar for drinks. There they met a guy, Gio.

"My cousin." Fred said, whom like Lisandro watched Gio strech across the table, eager to shake Antony's hand.

"Pleasure." He said in a way that bothered Lisandro and not just because Fred's cousin was a very handsome man. What bothered him even more was that for the reminder of the night Antony and this Gio fellow seemed to hit it off very well. Surly Antony felt comfortable around his fellow country man, however Lisandro couldn't help but to lean into the stirring feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"Baby, I'm tired. Let's go home."

As the night came to an end Lisandro was surprised to find Antony and Fred's handsome cousin still deep in conversation, sitting close and joking with one another.

"Is Antony getting a ride home with Fred's cousin?"

"He can't." Lisandro hissed.

His girlfriend frowned.

"I mean..." Lisandro cleared his throat."...he's staying with us, no?"

"Well tell him we're leaving then." His girlfriend yawned. "I'll wait for you guys in the car."

Lisandro couldn't believe it, how nervous he felt walking up to the table where Antony and Gio sat. The thought of Antony rejecting him was the worst. What if he wanted to stay longer with Gio?

"No." Lisandro thought and shook the insecure thought out of his head. He walked up to their table with his head held high.

"We're leaving." He said to Antony, blocking his view from Gio who sat across from him.

"Now?" Antony frowned.

"Muri is tired, she's already waiting in the car."

"Lightweight." Gio chuckled behind them. Lisandro was quick to turn his head.

" 'Scuse me?"

Gio raised his eyebrows in suprise.

"Did I say something funny?" Lisandro said, his nostrils flaring up as he blew air through his nose like a bull.

"Licha." Antony put a calming hand to his shoulder. Lisandro was suprise to what effect this had on him. He felt himself relax almost in an instant.

"Relax hombre I was just joking."

"What did you just call me." Lisandro clenched his fist.

"It's okay." Antony stood. He put arm Lisandro and started walking him to the door. "It was nice to meet you Gio, I'll see you later."

"But wait..." Gio rushed towards Antony, cellphone in his hand. "Can I least get your number?" He said seductively. However Antony hesitated and turned to Lisandro.

"That's it I'm leaving." Lisandro said, shrugging Antony's arm off his shoulders. Antony had lingered a bit before he came walking out of the bar towards the car. The car ride home had been in silence and later that night Lisandro laid tossing and turning in his bed. He couldn't sleep at the thought of Antony and that guy, sitting so close, laughing together. Had he really given that guy his number?

Lisandro looked to his girlfriend who slept beside him. Would she understand him if he came out and told her about his true feelings. The fact that he couldn't sleep knowing that Antony lay in the room opposite to theirs.

Lisandro sat up in bed and rubbed his face with his hands. He looked up over his shoulder to see his girlfriend sleeping peacefully. She didn't deserve this, him, so conflicted about his feelings. One thing was for sure though, no one was going to make a move on his man.

"You up?" Lisandro closed the door to the guestroom behind him as he entered. Antony groaned at the sound of his voice. "Licha? What are you...?"

"Shhh...she'll here us."

Antony rubbed his eyes seeing Lisandro approach his bed.

"Just tell me..." He stopped at the foot of the bed so that Antony had to raise himself to sit in order to see him and his silhouette towering over him.

"Tell you what?" Antony frowned.

Lisandro clenched his jaw. "Did you give that guy your number."

"No."

"Good." He said and began to walk out.

"Good. Is that all you have to say to me?"

His steps altered with Antony's words. He turned back around to find Antony's eyes shimmering with the moonlight slipping through the window blinds.

"Is there something else you wished for me to say?" Lisandro said, raising his brow.

"What if I told you that I gave that guy my number? What's it to you?"

"Don't test me Tony."

"Test you. Who's to say you're not the one testing me? I mean I've been staying at your home for the past few days and you haven't dared to look at me for longer than ten seconds? Aren't you happy to have me here Licha, playing for Manchester United with you?"

"I would be happy if it wasn't for the fact that you chose to live her with me and my girlfriend."

"Right, you're girlfriend, who is sleeping in the room next to us whilst you're in here with me."

"I said don't test me Antony." Lisandro's voice echoed against the guestroom walls. He had returned to the foot of the bed, Antony sitting with his legs spread in front of him.

They just stood there for a bit, holding each other's intese gazes.

"I didn't." Antony then muttered. " I didn't give Fred's cousin my number."

"Good." Lisandro nodded.  Because you're mine."

Antony gasped as Lisandro surprised him by grabbing a hold of his legs, flipping him over in one go.

"You're mine." He said, between clenched teeth. Antony slept bare chested, wearing only a pare of black shorts. Nothing underneath. Lisandro got on top him and pulled the shorts down to rest around his ankles.

"You're mine, understood?"

Antony lay with his face down against the mattress, his ass cheeks on display for Lisandro and Lisandro's eyes only.

"I'm yours." He said, voice, muffled up against the thick duvet.

"Good, now shut up whilst you make me cum for you."

Lisandro pulled down the top off his pajama pants, his cock already stiff as wood. He let it rest on top of Antony's back whilst he leaned forward to whisper in his ear.

"You're min and only mine got it."

Antony nodded, his body quivering a bit feeling Lisandro cock caressing his ass cheeks.

"Fuck." Lisandro groaned, throwing his head back as he placed himself in between him. He snaked his hand around Antony's waist, lifting ot up  litte. No Antony laid in perfect to reseve what Lisandro was going to give to him.

"You..."

"Are..."

"Mine...only mine." He said with every violent thrust.

"Say it, say you're mine."

"I am yours." Antony's voice didn't carry. It was airy and needy for him.

"Louder!" Lisandro started pumping faster, making clapping sounds as their hips came together.

"I...am...yours." Antony gasped. "Only yours."

Lisandro felt light headed with every thrust, however the pleasure was addictive, how could he stop? It all came to a stop though, with Antony grabbing hold of the sheets as Lisandro clenched his hips and bottomed out. Their warm bodies came together as Lisandro fell on top of Antony. They moved to lay facing one another.

"This can't happen again, at least not around the house." Lisandro placed a hand on Antony's warm cheek, his thumb caressing his bottom lip.

"Okay."

"Trust me, I'm glad that you're here but..."

"Don't." Antony said. He leaned forward to peck his lips. The kiss was soft and sweet, like two lovers tasting each other for the first time. "It will be our little secret for now." He smiled.

Lisandro chuckled but nodded his head "Our little secret."