#not to mention my bf is in the military and we all see how that is going

[cmc-things]

Got about 3 hours of sleep last night and feeling awesome 👍

[swee7dream]

hiii i saw that request are open for jae ( I CANNOT COPE WITH THE NEWS) so i was thinking if you could write about a fluff kind or drabble?!?! of maybe yn helping jae to cut his hair before enlisting but he has so much hair and like WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO LEAVE YOUR FLUFFY BIG HEAD BF BALD but yea kinda like cute couple-y moment?

military wife duties jeong jaehyun x female!reader

genres established relationship , fluff , angst if u squint warnings female reader , mention of enlistment (◞‸◟；) author's note when nahyuck enlist i will genuinely crash out like i will need to be put under watch dpwm . tysm for the request ! i will miss valentine boy so bad , , tag list @aeriaeri @mystarsohee @iwontlettheselittlethingsslip

“How could you do this to me? To us? I… I thought you loved me, Jaehyun. Does all our time together mean nothing to you?”

“Baby…” He holds your wrists, the sensation barely felt. “It’s just hair.”

“It’s not just hair!” you whimper, lip quivering. “Hair holds memories, Jae. You don’t get it.”

“Believe me, I do. I’m not excited to get my hair buzzed either.”

Your tears, hysterical and warm, Jaehyun’s dimples come out at the sight without even thinking about it.

“Please don’t make me do this.” Your lip quivers.

“I’m sorry, darling.” He pouts, but you can tell it’s ingenuine. “But either you do it or Jungwoo does it. And you saw what he did to Taeyong.”

“Can’t I just cut my hand off instead?”

That makes him burst out in laughter.

“No, you can’t. I won’t allow it.” He brings your hand up to kiss the back of it.

“Can I go in your stead?”

“I mean, you can go… but I’d still have to go too.”

“Okay.” Your voice cracks. “I’ll sign up for the military right now. We can go together.”

“No.” He pecks your nose. “You have to stay right here in our cozy home and live your regular-schmegular life from before I left so that when I come back we can pick up right where we left off. Yeah?”

“I’m gonna miss you so much…” you drop the shaver on the bathroom floor and throw your arms around Jaehyun. “Please don’t die. You can’t die. If you die, I’ll kill you. I-”

Your paranoid ramble continues, your voice getting higher and higher until you sound like the loveliest mosquito Jaehyun’s ever heard.

“I won’t.” He pulls back to see your face. “I won’t die, okay? I’ll call you whenever I can, visit as often as possible, it’ll be like I never even left.”

“But you will! You will leave and I’ll be alone and you’ll be bald.” You sob at the last word. “You’ll be bald…”

“…is that what you’ve been focusing on?”

“You look so good with long hair. You’re the handsomest man in the world but when you have your hair long you’re the most handsome guy in all of the galaxies… I’m gonna lose my boyfriend and his hair. Life is so hard.”

“I know,” he pats your head, pressing his back against the toilet for enough space to let you sit on his lap. “Life is so hard, isn’t it?”

“So hard…” You nod, wiping your tears with the back of your hands. “’m sorry, Jae. You’re the one going to the military and here I am, making a new ocean with tears.”

“It’s okay. You’re okay.” He hums. “Think of it as crying for the two of us. I don’t think it’s set in yet that I’ll be away for almost two years—” You let out a small whimper at the reminder. “—but I’m sure I’ll cry just as much when I’m on the way. More probably.”

“I hate this.” You pull him in, digging your nose into his shoulders to take in his smell and try to imprint the moment as a core memory in your mind.

“…I always could go to prison instead.”

You groan.

“No. No prison. Just… bald.” You sigh, looking up at him and digging your fingers through his cloud-like white hair. “Just bald, egg-headed Jaehyun.”

“Hey, calm it before I buzz your head too.” He flicks your forehead with his teeth dug into his lip. “Then it won’t just be me that’s ‘egg-headed’. Honestly. Where do you come up with these things?”

“Twitter.”

“I thought you said you deleted Twitter.”

“…I lied.”

“Of course you did.” Jaehyun takes his turn now to sigh. “What am I going to do with you?”

“You love me.”

“I do.” His gaze softens and disarms you completely.

“I love you too.” You curl yourself back into him.

“I’ll marry you. You know that, right?” He looks at you.

“…yeah. I know.”

It’s not the first time the subject has been brought up. Jaehyun is a traditional romantic, you learned this within the first three months of your relationship.

Candlelit home dinner dates, weekly sent bouquets, random appreciation sonnet-like messages. Jaehyun has always been open about his desire for matching bands and golden anniversaries. And though you might not have always wished for the same thing, as the days passed holding Jaehyun’s hand in your own, how could you not start having similar dreams?

“You can’t die.”

“I told you, baby. I’m not going to die-”

“You have to come home safely so we can get married when you come back.”

Jaehyun’s eyes light up for only a second before he smashes his lips against yours, eager and clumsy at the thought of exchanging rings. It's your first time expressing your desire to walk down the aisle so openly, a day Jaehyun sometimes felt would only happen in his dreams. His mind buzzes with ideas for the venue, his suit, your dress.

“Cut my hair,” he says, and you feel him breathe on your face.

“It’s not gonna make you enlist any faster, you know?”

“I don’t care.” He smiles.

“…alright.” You pick up the shaver off the ground.

“Why do you have so much hair?” You frown, trying to see where his hair ends and his scalp begins. “Are you a man or a beast?”

“Depends on the location. For example, if it's the bedroom-”

Bzzzt!

“Oh...” You purse your lips. “Jae.”

“…what is it?”

“I’m sorry.”

“What did you do…?” He whispers.

“You’re handsome enough to pull it off, I promise.”

“Oh my God.”

author's note hi ! another jaehyun request coming soon i'm just terrible at deciding on endings lololol . also, renjun is BACK injeolmis CHEER !!!!! would love to write more for renjun so lmk if that's something that interests u :>

p.s. i made a ko-fi . don't feel obligated to do anything with it, but if u ever win the lottery, like my writing, and don't know what to do with it , well . . . gestures vaguely .

[indigobsessed]

I’ll come back.

pairing : min yoongi x reader (established relationship)

summary : your boyfriend, yoongi, just ended his final tour the other day. who wouldve known not even 24 hours later that his enlistment notice came out and you, his loving girlfriend, found out before he tells you about it.

genre : angst, fluff, a bit suggestive and yoongi being a comforting bf.

rating : SFW

warnings : mentions of military enlistment, crying, slight swearing

wc : 635 words.

a/n : ahh!! first (and last maybe..) post???:&/£/£ i hope you’ll enjoy this :) i’ll do a navigation soon hehe. other than that, im so sad that d-day tour has ended and yoongi’s leaving soon ugh :(. for references, you can check out the d-day vlogs, clips, etc :) not proofread, i think.

“MIN YOONGI!” You burst through the door of his studio after clicking on his passcode aggressively by muscle memory. Your boyfriend turned around his studio chair, staring at you with a puzzled look.

You stood at the door, your eyes filled with angry tears with your phone in hand, showing the military notice. That was until he realised about what he was going to tell you when he comes back to your shared home.

“Oh baby-“ He quickly got up to hold you, but you pushed him away quickly. “Don’t. Touch. Me.” You hissed. Yoongi sighed, knowing that you, his ever loving girlfriend of three years would take a while to fully take it in.

He slowly got up and closed the studio door behind you. Yoongi took your hand and lead you to sit down on his studio couch. You were still silent, not until Yoongi took you into his arms as you let out your tears. “I know, jagi, I know.” He soothed you, rubbing your back in small circles. Your tears staining his grey shirt.

“You promised to tell me Yoongi. I can’t believe I found out like this.” You sobbed out. “I thought we agreed to not keep secrets from eachother.” You continued, your voice shaky.

“Baby, listen to me. Look at me.” Yoongi called out to you in a stern yet soft voice. You pulled away, looking at him with tear-stained cheeks. He looks just as hurt as you. “We talked about this, I know that. But fuck, my love I didn’t even know how to tell you that it was coming soon. I just ended my whole tour yesterday.” He explained. “You didn’t give ARMYs a whole day, Yoongs.” You argued. “You didn’t even give me a day too. I knew it was coming but Yoongi, you didn’t have to remind me.” You continued.

“I know, all these 3 years of being with you and you’ve been there with me throughout everything and I can’t thank you enough. But I’ve let my postponement go on for too long, I have to go at some point too. The sooner I go, the sooner I come back remember?” Yoongi comforts you. Trying his best to calm you down.

You nod, understanding his explanation. “I know it’s my fault for not letting you know any sooner too. I know that it’s not easy to take in.” He rubs your arms. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m so sorry.” Yoongi apologised while peppering kisses on your cheeks.

Memories of the couple during Yoongi’s world tour flashes through your mind. The day out in Chicago, the small holiday in Phuket and diving. Shared kisses, meals and smiles. And intimate moments during the night. It all felt like a fever dream to you.

Tears streaming down your cheeks once more, trying your best to accept that time doesn’t freeze as you wish. “I feel like it’s just yesterday since you told me that you were going on tour, Min.” You said softly, cracking a soft smile at the memory. Both of you hugging and knowing that this will be one of your biggest memories with him. “I remember going on the flight to your first concert location. You were so excited to see your fans.” You giggled as Yoongi smiled apologetically to you.

“I’ll miss them so much too, jagi.” Yoongi spoke out. “And I’ll miss you the most too.”

Yoongi leaned in to kiss you on the lips softly.

“Promise me you’ll come back, or we’re gonna have issues.” You grumbled. It made Yoongi laugh softly.

“I’ll come back. To you, to my brothers, and to ARMYs. Safely.” He reassured you as he placed another comforting kiss on your lips.

He’ll come back safely. As he promised. He is a man of his words after all.

[xxxg0ryygurlll13xxx]

i feel reallllllly bad abt this

so some backstory my bf plays a lot of military video games (war thunder esp thats his fave) and loves military boats and planes and wants to go into the military via an academy.

i have a complicated relationship w the military and military men. a lot of the men in my family (my grandfathers, uncles, cousins etc) were at one point in the military and it didnt go well for any of them. they all have major issues cause of their service. my grandfather developed a drinking problem after vietnam, my great uncle extreme PTSD after fighting in Iraq and all have or had been abandoned by the govt esp my uncles. so needless to say i have a weird relationship w the us govt and military systems.

so my bf wants to go into the military and while im well aware that high school sweethearts usually dont work out weve been dating for over 3 years straight and bros been talking abt marriage lately so i kinda have a feeling well last so his military dreams scare the SHIT out of me. not just the possibility of having him come back in a casket, or not coming back at all but him coming back so different, angry/violent or a drunk or an addict or sick or all of the above. i want him to be happy but i dont want him to come back blown to bits or missing limbs.

hes one of those people who wants to do it for the glory. the love of country the idea of coming back a hero. the way the current politics are going in america were probably gonna have a huge war soon maybe even on 2 fronts, WWIII. that scares me too just in general and add someone i love so much so far for so long going years w/o seeing him, sometimes not knowing if hes dead or alive. scares me but thats so selfish. thats my problem im so selfish about it. ive told him my concerns and it makes me feel like a bad person cause ik he wants this pretty bad tho he did say if he doesnt get into an academy he wont enlist hell go somewhere else for engineering and work for the govt that way. but i just feel so selfish. i want him to be happy but i also want him alive and safe.

also while im being honest here i really dont think hes military material. hes not very uh fit (i doubt hed pass the physical test), his grades r pretty average the academies r really hard to get into, hes EXTREMELY stubborn which the military would not at all approve of he only does one extracurricular, and he has some other problems i wont mention that wouldnt go well in the military. so his chances at an academy arent very high but just enough to scare me.

and i know its selfish which is why i feel so bad about it. its so complicated. on one hand i really dont want him to go and i just want him to consider the pros and cons, he has a very video game propaganda-y watered down "glory" view of the military that they can do no wrong and i know the other end the trauma, the abandonment, the fear, ive heard the stories the stories of men watching each other get blown up, watching civilians struggle to breathe cause of the chemicals we used, my grandfather had to watch his best friend get his legs blown off. the coming back different, changed and not for the better. sure the glorys nice the honor is amazing but at what cost? i have relatives who have purple hearts and were abandoned by the system that gave it to them. on the other hand tho i know its so selfish to not want him to follow what he wants to do. to tell him he shouldnt, that its a bad idea, that its not worth it, that the risk isnt worth the possible reward, to think abt how once u sign on that dotted line u cant quit till ur contract is up. im gonna follow my dreams of being an artist so why should i let him follow his?

i feel so conflicted abt it. i cant tell where the line between caring and selfishness is. i feel guilty and selfish and scared all at the same time. i hope and pray he changes his mind but i know i cant make him no matter how many times i not so subtly mention the possiblity of death, disability, PTSD the thousands of things that can go wrong. i feel so selfish but i cant help my fear. i think i care too much. thats my problem. i care too much abt his physical safety i overlook his happiness. i apologized to him abt my selfishness over this like a half hour ago and havent heard back.

[matchalilly]

This gaming series has always had a special place in my heart for more reasons than one.

In middle school and high-school it was my shit played more co op than campaign in college cause I had a solid group of friends I'd hop on with.

But as a military brat I got the biggest crush on Mactavish when I was a tween, irritated the hell out of my bf at the time to the point he'd start snarky arguments about how I gush over a scottsman when his Irish ass is right there granted we'd laugh about it cause I'd point out how stupid it was that he's getting bent over a video game character, his ma would even join in saying just wait maybe an actual Scottish boy will swipe me from him.

As much as he gave me shit over Soap certain parts of the game hit him hard too.

We mutually broke up before high school, still hung out and gamed together but he decided he was going to join the army after graduating and didn't want me stuck worrying constantly, even though I expressed my interest in joining the marines like my dad.

That started up a whole new 'dig at each other' playfully of course both of us came from military families him strictly army me a mix of marine, army, and navy.

Dad was against his only baby girl joining the military and I just said alright ill just do some form of art than, ended up taking international culinary courses and cosplay ended up unironacally making military friends regardless.

You'd be surprised how many service men and women I've met in the cosplay community not to mention lawyers and doctors, even dentists it's wild honestly but it's neat, and some of them would play with me on CoD just to keep in touch. We'd joke and shit on each other and shit on the occasional teams that would be toxic in the lobby after losing the match to a team mixed with chicks and guys and would scream hacks.

Long and short of it this game is a staple in many special memories for me. It isn't just a game I play for the fun of it, I've made friends, connections and sometimes we all hop on just to chat in the lobby not even going into game. We would just sit cracking jokes and go back and forth if we wanted to hop in a match and go naaaaaaaaaah not tonight, got work or nah I have morning classes or mmm gotta be at base early or I would, ect you get the idea life stuff.

Now I'm back in it watching my friend that's never played a shooter in her life enjoying co op and the campaign and its the best thing to see.

She's a Konig girl and gets shitty that he's not in it much and me and my other pal just laugh and tell her he wasn't in the old games much either, nothing new better get used to relying on the simping fandom for her Konig material.

She even went and started a fanfiction and asks me all kinds of questions, although she had the audacity to call Ghost mean and I'm just like girl how dare 😤

Seriously don't know why people think he's mean, clearly they haven't heard his glorious dad jokes dudes just a hardened soldier.

But she adores Soap too so we chat often about him or she'll gush about Konig or send me mass GhostSoap pictures and I'm just like wow you found that side of the Fandom took you long enough 😆

Even my military hubby joins us cause he grew up playing the games too. Imagine his suprise one year when he came home from a deployment catching his wife playing CoD not knowing I even had an interest in the game.

That was a fun conversation our first year married.

Sat and watched him start the new campaign last night and I was so frustrated that he purposely would get Price killed just to rile me up (even detonated himself at one point) before restarting the mission and say 'imma do it again' only for me to tell him to leave the old man alone and actually do the damn mission.

Sorry not sorry felt like reminiscing, tis the season of recalling fond memories.

[liliansun]

no one particularly cares but i need this moment to vent bc i’m on the verge of tears and i wanna smash a pumpkin against my wall. and like,, if for some reason you read this lmk if i’m being unreasonable bc i feel like i am but then again i’m not.

so my bf is going into the military and he’s gonna be leaving in december right? so he just left meps today and got to his house and said his family pushed his birthday dinner from tonight (it’s his birthday today) to tomorrow night. i was like okay, he was gonna come over in the morning and we hang out w my baby and then he was gonna skedaddle off to the bday dinner with his family.

with this information i was gonna make him a cake and surprise him bc i didn’t get to see him today. so then he tells me his dad pushed it off to wherever so he was gonna go out w his guy friends to hang out and plan for the bday dinner to be later this weekend and i’m like okay and he tells me he’s gonna come by later in the day tomorrow instead of the morning bc he’s out w the boys. i’m like okay, have fun and be safe and i update him and yada yada. so then he tells me he’s going to texas which is like a few states over (4+ hour drive in the night) and i’m in the middle of a cod mobile game and i’m thinking to myself. wtf? bc in my head that contradicted the whole plans he kept changing for tomorrow (context: i was off today and tomorrow) and then he’s like nvm my friends voted against it and idk if you think like me but i thought that was dumb as hell.

so then i’m in a sour mood, i lost my br match bc i was so just out of it bc i’m like wtf? sure go do whatever you wanna do w your friends,, but if we made plans to hang out how tf do you expect me to feel when you plan to go state hopping instead. so we get into this discussion which i don’t want to call an argument and he’s like “i’m sorry but at the same time i’m not” and i’m like. elaborate. bc that shit didn’t make sense to me. “he’s like i’m sorry i’m being difficult but i’m not sorry bc i assumed you had no plans for tomorrow. well sir,, i was trying to SURPRISE you and idk if me asking a million times what time you wanted to come over didn’t give a hint?? guess not?? but okay and i’m trying to end the conversation bc i’m annoyed and he’s annoying me even more by wanting to talk it all out right here rn and i’m the type of person who needs time to think over everything,, collect my thoughts and readdress it once i’m clear headed and can see where i was wrong and he’s not

and then we get to the point of conversation where he’s like well what do you have planned for tomorrow and i’m like nothing now, you wanna go out w your friends so go out w them and he’s like we’re not going and im like okay, so go do something else w them i’m just not in the mood and he’s like no i wanna see you and i’m thinking to myself that i don’t particularly wanna see him but ik it’s bc i’m in a bad mood and maybe i’ll feel better in the morning maybe i won’t but rn i’m like stay the hell away from me before i start crying. and he’s like well the latest i’ll be by is 3 and i’m like okay. nice. and he’s like my recruiter might need me around 4 ish and i’m like. so you mean to tell me you wanna drive 40 minutes to my house to turn around and drive another 30 minutes and come back for another 30 minutes?? this is coming from the man that literally told me earlier today “since i’m quitting my job bc i’m going into the military, i don’t wanna be reckless w my spending till then”

so i mention that bc that’s a waste of gas and idk where y’all live but that shit ain’t cheep here and he tells me to let him worry about that and i’m like okay bc atp i’m done having the conversation and he’s trying to be lovey dovey and i’m about to throw my phone into the gulf and cry to tswift songs bc i just don’t know what to do.

part of me is like let him come bc he’s gonna be gone soon and you don’t know how long or where he’s gonna be at for boot camp and part of me is like he didn’t take in consideration the fact that he made plans with me and threw them out the fucking window on the highway while he was keke giggling at the thought of driving idek how many hours away and sleeping with his friends in his friends’ car.

so yeah. if you’ve made it this far on my lil ted talk, i love you. i think i’m genuinely gonna go cry and hold my baby and just try to sleep bc my head hurts and my heart hurts and i feel like i’m being irrational but at the same time i feel like i have a right to feel this way.

[booksanimeandtea]

ok, lemme talk what happened today and why I think this won't end soon and rather the other part of the ship is perfectly ok with all this. feel free to always comment and engage, I like to hear your thoughts, even if I might not agree...

ok, V comes live, talks about music he will release in possibly ten years, that he does nothing all day and that he basically writes and rewrites lines, and also reads lines of a new one which makes no sense at all...and of course in the span of what 10, 20 minutes? he namedrops jk a lot of times..."lemme pic a candle like jk uwu" "this song has been suggested to me by jk" "jk told me this" jk this and jk that. no mention of jimin, of face, of like crazy...If you still thought vmin are still soulmates, lemme tell you the answer is no. of course I know what you'll say "he might have congratulated in private" and? but he is able to tell us what he does with jk, and not spare two words about jimin? ok. and about jimin? that man knows about tk ship and the hate jm gets, and what does? exactly fuels the ship. again and again. he's predictable and frankly boring, with no ideas whatsoever about what to talk about in an album. JK is the only thing that keeps his crazy fans still interested in what he does. Jm is useless to his purpose, see my point?

I don't think V will really release that song in 10 years (or never) but one thing I'm very very sure about is...that the excuse many used for the short Face promo of "they have to go to the military that's why they are putting album after album" is a fucking LIE. no way jk nor v will release stuff after yg' s tour ends. no way. also, I think they will be left alone while the others go to ms..how romantic. you must be blind if you have not noticed how Hybe has pushed and pushed ships and duos since 2021...sinc the first bb in january 2021 the duos were: 2seoks (and they are leaving now, the firsts to start their solo career), then moniminimini (aka joon, yg, jm and what we got? indigo, face and d-day) and then tk and what are we going to get? possibly? tk releasing albums at a short distance, trust me on this. also yoonmin have been in lots of content together, challenges, suchwita, and now even this show I forgot the name...together when Yg even said to jm "your promo has already ended/cut short" and so shut up, it's my time now...how nice of him "sarcasm" so I can easily see a future where we will get tk doing tiktok challenges (already did with Run BTS), going to shows, maybe even going to US shows, and hyping e/o releases...tell me if I'm wrong...don't think so...then of course enlisting together with a teary video of them saying bye to e/o...

let's go back to what I say at the beginning...jk doesn't care that v namedrops him, he doesn't care about the hate jm gets, he does nothing to stop v because he is ok with it, and he likes v...and don't give me AGAIN, that they are friends bullshit please, I have had enough, yes they are friends bla bla, technically all of bts are, but we don't get the others going out a lot, going to their homes, mentioning e/o and certainly they don't tell us and don't have crazy af delulu idiots as fans...I think it's time that we all accept this, yes he watched jm videos and went to his rehearsal ok and then what? he didn't know when jm would have ended music shows,jm did not answer when jk invited people home and you can believe in what you want, but there is no way jm was sleeping with people there in another room, at 5 am...jm has a home and is there...also why tf you invite people over knowing your bf is sleeping? makes no sense...so basically what I'm trying to say is that we have no idea if they are actually spending time together, well now for sure no jk is in the us...but you understand right? hell, we don't even know if they even talk to e/o...jm has stopped mentioning jk due to all the hate he gets, but another one is completely fine in dropping hints at how much he is the priveleged one in jk's heart...ok...jk does very little to nothing to stop v and their shippers, rather entertains them too...tbh if one of my friends, who I know people think I'm dating, starts a live at my home, unprovoked, I would not even speak to him again...and I'l fight against the company who has sabotaged my supposed bf...but we also can see how that is certainly not happening...ok...

[intomymindspace]

Just One Day ✰ Ushijima Wakatoshi

Just One Day by BTS

ushijima wakatoshi x gn!reader

Through the Summer and the Fall // Haikyuu!! Songfic Series

a/n: hi everyone, I'm sorry for falling off the map for a bit. I was feeling really just overwhelmed and burnt out, but also disheartened because of my fics not showing up in tags and stuff. oh well. I also started another semester of college... and on the first day, I found out that my ex had cheated on me 🤡 n e ways,,,, this fic is heavily influenced by that. thank you for reading my stuff and sticking with me. I just wanna be loved sometimes, yanno?

Word Count: almost 5k?

Warnings: none, just Oikawa mentioned as being a bad ex bf for unknown reasons. this is also probably unedited, so I am so sorry if there are any mistakes

If I have just one day I'd like to fall asleep with your scent If I have time on a tight schedule I'd like to soak myself in your warm, deep eyes

If Ushijima Wakatoshi could be with you for just one day, he would take you to Tsutsujigaoka Park. He would hope it was near the end of March, so he could take you for a walk while the cherry and plum blossom trees were blooming. Regardless of the season, he would make sure to prepare a blanket and two bentos, and maybe even a sketchbook or two. The two of you would talk, and walk in a comfortable silence as you viewed the nature around. If any food stalls were open, Wakatoshi would make sure to bring extra pocket money to buy you something you wanted. His hand would completely engulf yours if he held it, and as he walked you back to your dorm room, he would even dare to ask permission to kiss you.

Tendou watched his best friend fondly, smiling as he recognized the faraway look in Wakatoshi's eyes. The ace was thinking about you. Tendou saw this look quite often, whenever Wakatoshi needed to calm down during a match, when he needed a break from studying, and even when you visited to coordinate cheers for upcoming matches. The olive-haired boy had never said anything about you, but this was one thing that Tendou was always able to read.

As the cheer captain of Shiratorizawa, it had always been a little tough for you. While coming up with cheers and leading the school to rally during games was easy, being in a relationship with Oikawa Tooru was the unsolvable variable in that equation. Wakatoshi had only wished the best for the both of you, as much as he pined from afar. You were happy, right? Did Oikawa make you happy?

There were many times where he had seen your puffy eyes, your cheeks rubbed raw, your voice not as loud as usual. It was never his business to ask - you were his rival's partner after all (or recent ex-parter, he had later discovered), and he was sure that Oikawa had given you a nasty impression of the ace.

He wondered if he could still have you, even if it was just for one day. Wakatoshi knew better, however. He knew the last thing you wanted was another man in your life. You didn't need someone who always reminded you of the boy who never prioritized you, who never shut down his fangirls and always left you insecure. Wakatoshi always felt guilty, even though he knew it was for no reason. Maybe if he had built up the courage to talk to you during first year homeroom, things would be different.

Even if it was for just one day, Ushijima Wakatoshi could've taken care of you. He could've balanced his priorities, appreciated your support, and crushed your insecurities. He could've been everything Oikawa wasn't. Wakatoshi was not a man of many words, but he knew the ones he could have spoken would have counted for something. He was never a man of empty promises, empty ambitions, and empty dreams. As the buzzer went off, Wakatoshi was brought back to the reality of the current game.

It was a shame, he thought, that Karasuno had beaten Aoba Johsai. He would've liked to put Oikawa in his place one last time.

As he stood back up with the rest of his team, he made his way over to the edge of the court. He breathed in and out, hearing your voice ring loud and clear. Your voice parted the crowd, and his heart couldn't help but flutter.

"Ushijima! Ushijima!"

You were cheering for him after all, right?

He bounced the ball, hitting it against the ground to make sure it felt right. As he heard the referee blow the whistle, he thought about what your face would look like when he served. Would you be ecstatic? Would your eyes widen in shock? Would he scare you, as he does so many others?

As the volleyball slammed into Karasuno's court, the crowd went wild. Wakatoshi glanced into the bleachers, already knowing where you were standing. The look of awe on your face was evident, Wakatoshi thought. He would certainly make the next serve if it meant seeing you smile again - even if it was for just one day.

Your voice when you call my name I want to be sunk with that voice and swim I want to know you more I am an adventurer who explores an unknown forest called "you"

If Ushijima Wakatoshi could be with you for just one day, he would take you to the Sendai Uminomori Aquarium. He would stare at you under the black lights as you admired the jellyfish, floating in their tanks, their tendrils extending and waving to say hello. He’d catch himself in the reflection of the glass, his lips in a rare, soft smile as he’d watch you press your hands gently against the divider. He could imagine the look on your face - would you smile at him the way you used to smile for Oikawa? Would you finally have the sparkle in your eyes that had left? Wakatoshi hated that he would compare himself to the setter... but how could he not?  

Would you enjoy the opposite of Oikawa?

He pondered this as he sat during the graduation ceremony. You were sitting a few rows up with your class, and he was placed next to Tendou, Semi on the opposite side of the red-haired blocker.

The chances of him ever seeing you again were very low. He would be playing with the Japan National under-19 volleyball team until his birthday, and from then he’d be trying out for the division one teams. Wakatoshi wasn’t sure what you would be doing - Tendou had told him that you had mentioned you’d be going to Tohoku University.

Wakatoshi’s biggest regret was never talking to you. He knew he had a multitude of opportunities, whether it be communicating on cheers, or simply just joining in on the conversations you’d have with Tendou and Yamagata. He knew it wasn’t his place, to try to replace the remnants of Oikawa in your heart with himself. But he would make sure that his last day with you wouldn’t be for nothing.

He found himself being dragged into pictures upon pictures - not that he minded, of course. He would make sure to ask for copies to keep as memories. He would need them for the documentary Tendou insisted he’d have. He couldn’t help but look at the smile on your face as you held up peace signs with Goshiki and Shirabu. You had gotten closer to the team during your third year, something Wakatoshi was forever thankful for. Tendou smiled, gently nudging the ace.

“Wakatoshi-kun, won’t you say something?” His olive eyes met Tendou’s crimson ones. Most would take Wakatoshi’s silence as indifference, but Tendou of all people knew better than that.

“Ah, you already have something in mind, don’t you?” Wakatoshi nodded.

“Will you go through with it?”

“Yes. I think I will.”

You had been comforting Goshiki through his tears and sniffles, promising to keep in contact with your precious kouhai. Once again, a rare, small smile curled Wakatoshi’s lips. You were still so caring, even when you’d been treated badly.

“May I speak with you for a moment?” You seemed surprised by Wakatoshi’s inquiry, but nodded nevertheless. Giving Goshiki one last pat on the head, you followed Wakatoshi as he lead you away from his and your teammates.

“What was it that you wanted, Ushijima-san?” Wakatoshi took the time to memorize the way your hair was lightly rustled by the breeze.

“Hold on, wait!” Tendou jogged up to the two of you, camera in hand. “Gotta take a photo of our two favorite captains!”

You leaned into Wakatoshi, your diploma in one hand and a peace sign in the other. Your smile was radiant, and Wakatoshi gingerly wrapped a loose arm around your shoulders. He didn’t even realize Tendou had counted down the seconds until the flash appeared, for he was too focused on looking down at your shining face. His best friend left as quickly as he appeared, shouting promises to send copies later. You turned back around, an expectant look on your face. Wakatoshi’s heart was fluttering in his chest, but his mind felt an odd sense of calm.

“We do not have military style uniforms, but I understand that it is common for boys to give the our second button to the one we cherish most.” He paid attention to every detail he could - the way your breath hitched in your chest, the flush in your cheeks, and your wide eyes. Without much effort, he ripped the second button off his suit jacket and presented it to you.

“Will you please accept it?”

Wakatoshi couldn’t help but wish you all the luck and happiness in the world. Even if it was for just one day, he was glad to see you one last time.

I appreciate a masterpiece, "you" Because your existence is an art Every day I imagine like this all night long Because you are nothing more than just a dream to me

If Ushijima Wakatoshi could be with you for just one day, he’d take you to Universal Hollywood. He was never one for thrill rides, but Wakatoshi wouldn’t mind riding on the Hulk if it meant holding your hand as you screamed for your dear life. He would make sure to treated you to a nice, iced butterbeer and matching Harry Potter gear. Granted, he also wasn’t much of a fan, but he would be more than willing for you. He’d stand with you in the shade as the two of you sipped on the cold drink, the bustling life of Diagonal Alley creating the illusion of escapism. He’d remember to post a picture or two for Instagram, since Tendou always bugged him about starting a public social media.

Did Oikawa ever post photos of the two of you? Wakatoshi wondered if the setter had ever cared to do so. It had been nearly two years since he had gifted the button on his uniform to you - and he often found himself going back into his camera roll to find the photo Tendou took after graduation.

You had accepted it with a blushing face, not knowing what to say. Wakatoshi didn’t need an answer from you. He was more than content with the thought of you. He hoped you were doing well in college.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” Wakatoshi heard a familiar voice say. The ace turned around to find Iwaizumi, Oikawa’s ace, standing in front of his very eyes.

“Iwaizumi-san, it is good to see you again.”

“Same goes to you, Ushijima-san. What are you doing here?” Ah, Wakatoshi thought, he must be referring to why I’m in this unbearable heat.

“My father is holding a training camp on campus, and invited me to attend before division one tryouts.” Iwaizumi’s eyes widened in surprise.

“You’re Utsui-san’s son?” Wakatoshi nodded.

“What are you here for?”

“I’m majoring sports science, and well, I was kinda hoping to meet your father while studying abroad to see if I could intern with him after graduating.” Wakatoshi nodded politely.

“I am on my way to see him right now. I would not mind introducing you to him, I am sure he would be more than willing to speak with you.” Iwaizumi thanked him profusely, falling in step beside his previous opponent as Wakatoshi began walking again.

"What teams are you hoping to tryout for?" Iwaizumi asked.

"I would like to play for the Schweiden Adlers."

"Ah, I'm sure they'll want you. Any division one team is probably dying for you to choose them."

"Thank you. Are you not pursuing volleyball?" Iwaizumi shook his head.

"Nah. I love the sport, but I think I'd rather train or coach players." Wakatoshi nodded.

"Though, Stupidkawa still is, obviously. He's been in Argentina for a while now." Iwaizumi noticed the slight furrowing in Wakatoshi's eyebrows, his face seeming forever etched into a frown, and he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Sorry from bringing him up like that." Wakatoshi merely brought his hand up to wave away Iwaizumi's worries.

"What's funny is I actually go to college with his ex - they were at Shiratorizawa with you, right?" Wakatoshi couldn't help the way his eyes widened at Iwaizumi's mention of you.

"I have not spoken to them in a while. How are they?" He asked, keeping his olive eyes in front of him. Iwaizumi only smiled.

"We've actually gotten pretty close. I wound up in a bio lab with them in our first semester, and it turns out they're majoring in nutritional sciences."

"Is that so? How does Oikawa feel about that?" The brunette beside him knew better. After all, the two of you had become close friends. You had told him about Wakatoshi's confession.

"Shittykawa is pouty as always. He knows what he did wrong, though, so he doesn't complain." Iwaizumi looked up at Wakatoshi. "He's actually thinking of trying things again the next time he visits Japan." Wakatoshi tried his best to hide the disdain in his reply. Surely, you wouldn't want to retry being in a relationship with the setter, right?

"I did not think he would have the time." To Wakatoshi's surprise, Iwaizumi barked out a laugh.

"I don't think they'll accept any of his new advances. They've been focused on themselves and getting their degree for the most part." Wakatoshi wanted to ask what the ace meant by 'for the most part,' but his lips remained shut.

"That is good to hear." Iwaizumi smirked.

"I'm sure it is, Ushijima-san. After all, they did keep your button."

Maybe, Wakatoshi thought, just one day was not enough.

If I can be with you just one day If I can hold your hands just one day If I can be with you just one day Just one day If you and I can be together just one day

If Ushijima Wakatoshi could be with you for just one day, he would make sure you had his undivided attention. He was fairly good at time management - knew when to start tasks, and he knew when to stop them. He could easily devote time for you while still being a pro-volleyball player. He would spend the day doing whatever you would want - whether it be going shopping (and holding your bags), taking a hike (he would pack extra snacks just for you), or simply staying in for a day of relaxation (he'd even make you your favorite dish, but Wakatoshi wouldn't be able to guarantee how good it would end up tasting). He'd make sure you felt loved and cared for, returning the same affection and effort that you gave to him.

He had been playing for the Adlers for almost a year now, the newest addition being Kageyama Tobio. Oikawa's disciple, he used to call the black-haired setter. To be honest, he quite liked Kageyama. Wakatoshi was just surprised that the orange-haired crow didn't follow him.

As Wakatoshi took his duffle bag and clothes from his locker, he found himself staring at some of the photographs he had printed out and taped to the inside of his locker. There was one of the Shiratorizawa team, used as a roster in his third year. He looked the just the same, in his opinion. The next one was of him and Tendou at the airport. The redhead had shaved his long locks, but the delighted look in his eyes was still present. Wakatoshi would make sure to call him on Friday, just like they did every week. They were best friends, after all.

The last photo was the one Tendou had snapped the day of graduation. Wakatoshi found himself always looking at it. The smile on your face would ground him before practice, before games. Whenever he closed his eyes, he could still hear your cheers in the stands. He would open his eyes, serve, and think of the same smile he always sought out in the crowd.

Wakatoshi had always wondered how you were doing - he thought about you everyday. He knew he could easily give into Tendou and Hoshiumi's pleas for him to create at least a Facebook page, or ask Iwaizumi for your number. But, it wasn't as simple as that, at least in his mind. You wouldn't want him anyways, would you? Not when Oikawa still seemed like such a big wall, at least in his mind.

He could still remember that day like the back of his left hand. He still remembered the way you smiled as you hugged Goshiki through his tears, and he still remembered the look in your eyes when he asked if you would accept his affections, without a need for them to ever be returned?

Wakatoshi questioned why he limited himself to being with you for just one day. Was he being patient, waiting for a day that would never come? Why was it that he convinced himself that the only way he'd ever see you again was when he dreamed?

"Ushijima-san?" It was Kageyama that pulled him out of his thoughts.

"Yes?" The setter merely frowned, holding his phone out for Wakatoshi to look at the screen.

"TOBIO-KUN!!!" It was a text from Hinata Shouyou. "LOOK WHO I FOUND IN RIO!!!" Below it was a picture of Hinata, his tongue out, the Rio sun setting behind him. Next to him was no one other that Oikawa Tooru, his tongue out as well. Wakatoshi's eyebrows furrowed immensely, his lips frowning.

"TOORU-KUN SAYS HI!!!" The situation alone was already jarring enough. Wakatoshi looked back up at Kageyama, to find the same look on the setter's face. Was Oikawa taunting him? Had Oikawa visited Japan before Rio? Had he bothered you? Wakatoshi had assumed that you still lived in Miyagi - you were almost done with your degree, if he counted the years correctly. What would you do after you graduated? Would you go back to Oikawa? Forgive him for all the things he had done? Or, would you find someone else? Would you move on (or, had you already moved on? Wakatoshi wondered this frequently) and find someone who would give you everything Oikawa couldn't, and everything Wakatoshi could?

He remembered the tears when you had gotten the call during a joint practice. Would he remind you of those painful times?

For just one day, Wakatoshi wished he could take all your troubles away, as old or as new as they were.

You will blame me a little, or a lot maybe I know I couldn't see you more because of my dream Then please give me one day, even one day in dreams is fine All the words I couldn't say, making an excuse that its reality

If Ushijima Wakatoshi could be with you for just one day, he take you to Zuiganji Temple. It was nearly Christmastime, which meant the new year was just around the corner. On the first day of January, he would go with you to pray at the temple. He would stroll with you, hand-in-hand, as you admired the nature that surrounded the temple. The two of you would give offerings to the kami, clap your hands together in prayer, and receive good fortunes. Wakatoshi would make sure to pray for many more New Years with you.

The old Sendai City Gymnasium, now the Kamei Arena Sendai, sent him back to high school. They were even playing the MSBY Black Jackals. He remembered how you cheered for him in the stands, voice loud and smile bright as your pom-poms waved in your hands. He would most certainly imagine you in the crowd - he always did.

As the starting lineups are announced, Wakatoshi finds himself thinking about how the different the members of MSBY Black Jackals are. He would remind himself to go say hello to Sakusa and Hinata after the match. Out of the corner of his eye, Wakatoshi swears that he saw a glimpse of your hair. No, he thinks to himself. You were studying nutrition in college, so why would you be on the court? He didn't know if you'd be in the stands - would you? After all, Semi and Reon did come to watch the match.

He peers over to the opposite side of the court once more. He didn't know that the MSBY Black Jackals had a manager. His eyes must have been messing with him. Imagining you cheering him on had never been a distraction until now. Had he eaten something unusual this morning? Were the chia seeds in his overnight oatmeal expired? Wakatoshi thinks that it couldn't possibly be you. You weren't the person standing in a black and gold jacket on the opposite side of the course - they just had similar hair.

Bokuto Koutarou, as always, makes a scene as he leaps across the court during his introduction. Hinata and Miya Atsumu are yelling and laughing wildly, and the crowd goes crazy. The silver haired wing spiker then runs back to his team, giving them all enthusiastic high fives as he goes down the line. As he arrives at the end, he spins the manager around before picking them up, hugging them affectionately as he lifts and spins them around.

Wakatoshi's eyes widen as he finally sees the manager's face - and its you. It was really you. His breath seems caught in his throat. His chest is tightening like crazy, and he knows the exact reason why. He knows he had never stopped loving you - and now that he was seeing you again for the first time in years, his heart can't handle itself.

"Ushi-kun, are you okay?" It was Hoshiumi who pulled him away from his thoughts this time. The white-haired man was staring up at him with wide, concerned eyes. His eyes followed Wakatoshi's gaze, which lead straight to you.

"Is that the person in the picture that you always stare at in your locker?" Wakatoshi hears Kageyama sputtering, nearly choking on his water.

"Senpai is here?" Kageyama's eyes are wide as he looks across the court as well. Once he spots you, he frowns. "Stupid Hinata. Didn't even think to tell me that they were on the team. Their manager and nutritionist, no less."

Wakatoshi remembers when Kageyama first saw the photo in his locker.

"That's Oikawa-san's ex, right? I forgot they had gone to Shiratorizawa with you." Kageyama was peering into Wakatoshi's locker, forgetting personal space. The wing spiker nodded.

"Yes, they were the captain of the cheerleading squad." Kageyama nodded.

"They actually went to Kitagawa Daiichi Junior High. They always tutored me throughout junior andante high school and always bought me snacks, even after Oikawa-san - " Kageyama cut himself off. "Senpai was always very kind to me."

Wakatoshi nodded at the setter. "Yes, they have always been kind."

"Were you close to them? Ushijima-san?" For a few moments, Wakatoshi simply stared in silence at the photo.

"No, I would not have considered us close." He allowed himself to smile. "But, they are very dear to me."

Wakatoshi would've been more bothered by the Adlers' loss if it weren't for the fact that you were there. Seeing you there, smiling as you congratulated your team was more than enough to keep him at bay. However, he would make sure to beat the Black Jackals next time.

Wakatoshi had approached, almost with caution, as he trailed behind Kageyama and Hoshiumi. What should he say? Did you even want to talk to him? You looked really close to Bokuto and Atsumu (in fact, you seemed close with most of the team in general). Would you remember him? (That was a stupid question, he then decided.)

As he stood awkwardly behind the reunion, he continued to stare at you. You were laughing along with something Meian had said, and judging by Atsumu's face, the captain had made fun of him. His phone kept on buzzing, and he finally checked it only to find that it was the old Shiratorizawa groupchat.

"Look at this idiot" texted Reon, attached with a photo that must have been taken barely a minute ago. It was zoomed in and a bit grainy, but it revealed Wakatoshi staring at you. Yamagata had replied with an emoji of two eyes looking off to the side.

"Wakatoshi-kun" Tendou had texted, "If you don't go up to them right now / I will personally fly all the way to Japan / to kick your ass"

"OMG IS THT SENPAI / TELL THEM I SAID HIII / AND THAT THEY LOOK GORGOUS TODAY" Goshiki spammed, making Wakatoshi sigh. He looked back up, only to make eye contact with you - immediately, his breath felt as if it was lodged in his throat once more. A smile graced your lips, and you began to walk over. Wakatoshi could only stand there as you approached him.

"You were amazing today, Ushijima-san. I'm glad I got to watch you play in person again." You looked just as beautiful (or perhaps, even more than so) as you did all those years ago. Before Wakatoshi could even reply, you began speaking again.

"If you're free sometime this week, before you go back to Tokyo, I would love to catch up with you." You were playing with your fingers (a nervous habit, he had realized while in high school). If it weren't for his complete focus on you, he would've noticed both teams smirking and giggling like schoolgirls at the two of you.

Maybe, Wakatoshi thought, he could finally be with you for just one day.

I want to say at least one word right among them I didn't think it would be easy to forget you Am I selfish if I wish you won't forget me so easily? You're standing in the middle of me

If Ushijima Wakatoshi could be with you for just one day, he would make sure to perfect his vows. He would rehearse them over and over again to Tendou as his best friend (and man) made sure Wakatoshi looked perfect. Wakatoshi would already have memorized everything by heart, but Tendou would insist on him having a copy in his pocket, just in case. He would let you choose whatever decorations and colors you liked, and he would make sure to spare no expense if it meant seeing you smile. Wakatoshi was an Olympian, after all.

What would Oikawa's vows sound like? Would the setter charm you with sweet words and promises of love, like he had once done? He knew Oikawa did not matter anymore - he no longer questioned if you still loved the setter, or if you were still healing from the breakup (even if it was already so many years ago, Wakatoshi just wanted to make sure). He no longer compared himself to Oikawa, but he still wondered what it would be like if Oikawa were in his position.

"Thank you once again for designing and creating our outfits, Azumane-san." The long haired man smiled, placing the finishing touches on Wakatoshi's custom suit.

"It is my pleasure, Ushijima-san." The designer cracked a smile. "After all, you did pay me."

"Are you nervous, Wakatoshi-kun?" Tendou asked. The short-haired man was smiling at Wakatoshi.

"Should I be, Tendou-kun?" Wakatoshi truly did wonder this. Should he be feeling nervous? Because truth told, he wasn't. Wakatoshi couldn't feel a single nervous bone in his body, and Tendou only laughed.

"If you are, I wouldn't blame you. You're getting married, after all." Iwaizumi barged into the room as he fastened the cuff links. 

"Are you ready, Ushijima-san?" He felt Tendou pat his shoulder.

"Yes, I am."

How could Wakatoshi be nervous for a day he had only ever dreamed of?

He stood at the end of the aisle, as patient as ever. It was a medium-sized wedding, as close family and friends from high school and beyond were invited. Tendou stood just off to the side, followed Iwaizumi, Kageyama, Semi, and Bokuto. As the music began to play, Wakatoshi readied himself. For obvious reasons, he hadn't seen what you looked like - and Azumane made sure to keep the design of your outfit "top secret."

He inhaled deeply, paused, and then exhaled. As his olive eyes traced your approaching figure, Wakatoshi found himself just as breathless as he was, all those years ago. You were shining just as bright. Wakatoshi didn't cry - he didn't need to in order to express how he felt at that moment. He was calm and happy. Your hands were cold in his much larger, much warmer ones. Wakatoshi took them both as you stepped up to the platform. Had his eyes always been this soft, this fond? The smile on his face was evident - and he could care less if anyone were to be surprised by a break in his often stoic face.

Wakatoshi never needed to wish for just one day with you. Not anymore, at least. He could take care of you, and be with you for the rest of his days. He realized this as he saw the tears well up in your eyes as he finished his vows. The were no longer any reasons for him to compare himself to Oikawa. Not when you were standing before him, wedding ring slipped around your ring finger. He could prioritize you, praise you, and love you the way he had always wanted to.

"For so long, I had so deeply desired to spend even just one day with you. I am forever grateful that you would choose to spend more than one with me."

If I can be with you just one day If I can hold your hands just one day If I can be with you just one day Just one day If you and I can be together just one day

thank you for reading!! once again... please do like AND reblog if possible. and let me know what you think. I crave validation and attention. I'm so lonely its unreal.

- Crystal

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[caranfindel]

Episode recap/review: Walker 1.14

I didn't expect to recap 1.14 and yet here I am, still avoiding my unfinished Summergen fic. I'm actually writing this in real time, as I watch the episode. So for once I'm not pretending I don't know what happens. I literally don't know.

We begin with Cordell and Grandpa clearing up the crime scene. How much do I love Cordell saying "Daddy?" A lot. And not in that way, you perverts. It just really brings out the Texan.

Liam is in bed, recuperating. He gets a call (note that he calls himself William professionally, which is news to me, and I like it for whatever reason) from someone asking for a comment, which he starts to angrily refuse before Gramma Walker grabs his phone and hangs up. Gramma Walker going all Mama Bear for Liam is also interesting, and unexpected. But Liam says "I can take care of myself" and she says "No, you can't. None of you boys can." And then looks sadly out the window, where Cordell and Grandpa are taking down the crime scene tape. I just have to think "none" and not "both" means she's thinking of poor dead Hoyt, who she obviously loved like a son, if not more so. (More evidence for the Hoyt is her lovechild file? Maybe.)

Geri shows up, wearing an unnecessary cowboy hat and Hoyt's old jacket. She's bearing Hoyt's last will and testament, written on a bar coaster! Oh, my heart. And in case you can't read it:

If I get shivved in the shower or some old horse kicks me upside the head. For real Liam stamp it and everything - I leave everything to Geri/"Geraldine Broussard"/angle [sic] face sweet lips etc. So that plot I bought over in Tanglewood is for her and whatever I got in my pockets or elsewhere. See ya in the next life.

Angle face!

I'm not sure this would stand up in court, since he didn't even sign his last name, although it is witnessed by William Walker. Anyway, it's a moot point, because the land Hoyt intended to give Geraldine "Angle Face" Broussard is transferring to new owners, effective tomorrow. Which makes no sense. The deal fell apart because he died, and yet it's so soon after his death that the police tape is still up. New owners wouldn't be in the picture that quickly. Reverting to previous owners, because it was owner-financed? Sure. But not new owners. (Whatever, Caranfindel. Move it along.) She asks Cordell to go with her to gather his personal belongings. And to bring the kids. Hmmm, let's see how Stella can mess this up. (Tanglewood is 71 miles from Austin. Of course I looked it up.)

But first, Cordell has to sign paperwork to begin his leave of absence. So he didn't actually intend to quit. I mean, we all knew he'd be back, but I kind of thought he was, at the time, intending to quit for good. Does Connie the HR person have a big old crush on him? There is hand touching and deep, serious gazing.

Touch him, Connie. Touch him for those of us who cannot.

Micki is sitting right outside the conference room where he signs his papers but still acts surprised that he's in the building. Did she not smell the rosemary mint shampoo as he walked by? He thanks her for the flowers and apologizes for not calling her back. And then cancels their lunch plans so he can go off with Geri and the kids.

Someone said this on Tumblr, and I think it bears repeating here. It's interesting comparing Cordell's grief, over his wife and now his best friend, to Sam's grief. Cordell is clearly deeply affected, and is also clearly moving on. Sam is just unhinged.

Elsewhere. The gang stops for lunch and reminisces about Hoyt dressed as Santa, wearing assless chaps. Well. That's memorable. (Also, I know people who did the whole leaving horse manure and pretending it's reindeer poop thing. Some people are just a lot more into Santa than I was.) Trevor (Travis? Whatever) called Stella. She's apparently avoiding him. Probably a good call, sis. Maybe the only one you've made in 14 episodes. (To be fair, I didn't watch the first four.)

Micki shares tacos with her boyfriend, whose name I can never remember, having been stood up by Cordell. She tells him Cordell seemed "off," which is great now, Micki. Why didn't you pay more attention to that feeling last week? The BF thinks Micki herself might be off, because she misses her partner. And she calls him family. Captain What's His Face comes to talk to Trey (that's his name, dammit) and asks if he knows a guy who goes to the same physical therapist's office. Friends, when I've done PT, I don't even know people who go to my therapist, let alone just go to someone in the same office. But maybe folks in Austin are just friendlier than they are round these parts. Oh, wait. The guy is missing, and was last seen in a heated discussion with Trey? What's up with that, Trey?

Tanglewood. Cordell asks the nice lady (realtor? owner?) about Hoyt's "personal affects," and she says "they are probably out grazing." Because Hoyt's personal effects are four horses and a llama. Which Geri owns now. "Where am I going to board four horses and a llama?" she asks. Cordell is oddly befuddled (and adorably, cause y'all know how I feel about befuddled Jared), as if he didn't live on a ranch. With horses. The family business, remember? The kids are entranced. I would be too. It's a damn cute llama. One of the mares actually nursed the llama, so they're family. (Watch out for falling anvils.)

Micki's house. Trey says the "heated discussion" was the missing guy showing him a judo move. Captain asks Trey to ride along and help him investigate, and poor partnerless Micki asks if she can come with.

Tanglewood. Apparently Hoyt's personal affects also included gear for the four horses, because everyone is saddled up. Geri doesn't seem like an experienced rider - she keeps her hand on the pommel of the saddle, which I always heard was a rube move. (At least she's not clutching the saddle horn. No shade. It's hard not to. It's a perfect handle and it's just right there.) Cordell, of course, rides perfectly, as he does everything perfectly.

Everything except his job. And raising his kids. But do I care about those things? Not so much.

Geri thinks the llama looks unwell. What is she, a llama expert? A veterinarian? And what are they doing on this trail ride anyway - taking the herd back to the Walker ranch? It's 71 miles away! It's an hour and a half driving! How will they get the truck? Why didn't Cordell just say "let's go back to the ranch and get Daddy's cattle trailer?" WHY.

(No one cares. No one but you thinks about these things.)

Stella is on her phone, but it turns out she's (allegedly) re-reading Hoyt's last text, not chatting with friends. And then she says she was "responsible for everything." Oh, wait. We're going there? Stella is finally going to face the music? Cordell says it's not her fault, but they're interrupted by the llama, who apparently is in distress. Cordell wants to leave him at a random homestead. Permanently? Like, "excuse me, ma'am, but can you take this llama?" Or just while they get the horses home? I dunno.

August doesn't like this, because the llama and the horses are family. Geri distracts him by claiming Hoyt wanted him to have the jacket she's wearing, although I find this rather dubious, because why did she wait so long to mention it? Why is she wearing it herself? It's a lucky jacket he won from a tarot card reader and card hustler named The Mystifying Mehar, who was "infamous for getting out of trouble because of that jacket." Cordell then asks Geri to go off with the kids while he hangs back and tries to ditch the llama. Oh no, Cordell, don't do that. He's family!

Back at the ranch, Grandpa chases off some more journalists. He also ignores Gramma's concern about his cancer.

Trail ride. We skipped the whole bit where Cordell found someone willing to take in a goddamn llama, caught up with his kids, and told them what he did. They're mad that he wouldn't even try, and then Stella impulsively rides off, almost falling into a revine.

Team Sassyboots 2.0 questions the missing guy's wife. Turns out he left a note. Doesn't sound like he's as missing as they thought. He said he would "fix everything," i.e., their upcoming foreclosure. They check his workshop and find evidence that he was a military contractor, and apparently this means he should have no money problems whatsoever, because they don't understand how money works. His gun safe is empty, so they figure he's on some kind of "black ops" job. And if it's going to be complete by Monday, I assume it's something local, and not a military operation.

Walker Ranch. Someone who is Liam's "political opponent" comes to take care of him? And he's bringing barbeque? Is it poisoned? Gramma says Liam can't have barbecue because he's on bedrest, as if one had anything to do with the other. And... Grandpa wants to go mushroom hunting with her? Is that what the kids call it these days?

Trail ride. Cordell found someone to keep the horses. Temporarily? I'm still confused. Stella and Geri talk about Hoyt, and Stella asks about her forgiving him. Thinking about some forgiveness toward your own bad boy, Stella? She says "the two of you were always kind of like the dream to me," which is odd considering they were off-and-on, while her parents were very much on, and definitely seem more like couple goals. But okay. Stella confesses again that she is responsible, and Geri says "you let love in, maybe; that's your worse crime." I wonder if Stella blames herself for the fake truck crash that started the whole domino effect, or if she even realizes that's what happened. Obviously Geri wouldn't. Hmmm, I wonder what August thinks about all this?

Walker Ranch. Whoever this political opponent is, he must be a family friend, because he gave a toast at Cordell and Emily's rehearsal dinner. "Hey, when did your brother have such long hair," he asks, looking at a picture of the happy couple. Liam is growing facial hair again. I like it. Opponent suggests the spicy barbecue will put hair on Liam's chest and Liam tosses it aside and says "no, dammit, after I spent all that time waxing?" And Liam might drop out of whatever race he's in. I don't really care about that part. Let's talk more about Liam's chest.

I love that they can use actual Padalecki family photos as Cordell and Emily photos. No bad Photoshop needed!

Team Sassyboots 2.0. I don't really care about this missing guy either. Skipping it. You know, I understand this is meant to be an ensemble show, and Jared Padalecki and his stupid pretty face and long legs are not going to be in every scene. But Micki working a case with her boss and her boyfriend just bothers me and I don't want to be a part of it.

Trail ride. They're bedding down in the barn for the night? What the fuck? Where are they? Why didn't they just drive home? I'm so confused! Cordell and Geri talk about Hoyt some more. Cordell makes an awkward comment about "us together" and then amends it to mean all of us together, as in you and me and the kids camping right now, not, like, you and me together together, and then does a little eyebrow thing like whoo, good job, talked your way out of that one. NO, CORDELL, YOU ARE NOT AS SMOOTH AS YOU THINK YOU ARE. Anyway. There's a lot of guilt about poor dead Hoyt. Cordell tells Geri her name is still on the Sidestep lease (lease? I thought they owned it?), as if being part owner of a bar is always going to be a good thing, with no liability at all. And they don't kiss, for which I am grateful. The horses are really acting up. I hope nothing's happening.

Cordell checks on the horses and apologizes to the mare for leaving the llama behind. He realizes he made the wrong choice. "You know what," he says. "Let's go fix this."

I adore him.

Walker Ranch. Grandpa and Gramma have been mushroom hunting and are now getting silly. Um, what kind of mushrooms did you two find? And then Grandpa says "tonight's about Hoyt," which I do not understand. "I saw the joy he gave you," Grandpa says. Yes, Grandpa, and do you not find that even a little bit fishy? And then he decides to build something.

Trail ride. Cordell went and retrieved his llama! He is precious. I love him so much. He has some pratfalls in the same ravine that almost caught Stella, and then his family shows up and rescues him. (Can I point out that his "a-ha-ha" laugh is the same one we heard when he opened his gift from Dean in "A Very Supernatural Christmas" and I'm not sure it appeared in any other episode?) August offers the Lucky Jacket to use as a llama harness to haul the little guy out of the ravine. Oh, and it turns out the llama is about to give birth.

And, while I'm skipping Team Sassyboots 2.0, it's hard to ignore that Micki is now in a UFC fight. That might have been an interesting story after all. Y'all can fill me in.

Walker Ranch. They're building a little stable. Because this big horse ranch doesn't have enough stables. Liam, who was bedridden to the point of not being able to eat barbeque yesterday, is now helping build. He gets a text from his former fiance, who wants to talk. And Grandpa has decided to treat his cancer. Happy endings all around!

Micki's house. She says she was passive-aggressive with Walker because she's afraid of losing him. I get it, sweetie. He's someone you don't want to lose.

Trail ride. August is carrying the newborn llama, wrapped in the Lucky Jacket. Geri wants to cut out before they get to the ranch. She's going to ride the bus home? Seriously? Isn't her car at the Walker Ranch? She and Cordell talk abou their unfinished business. Yeah, like the fact she was probably involved in your wife's murder? That unfinished business, Geraldine? Grandpa meets them before they get to the ranch and informs them he has a strict no-llama policy on the ranch. But luckily, he just built an alpaca stable. They’re alpacas, not llamas. So, Geri called him, but how did he know they were alpacas? Did she send pictures? I am so confused. Anyway. The new family goes into their new home. They name the baby alpaca Hoyt, of course.

Little Hoyt, guys, he's the sweetest thing.

Breakfast. Political Opponent gives Liam a contribution. Oh, I get it. They're running for the same office, and he thinks Liam will draw votes away from his other opponent. Shrewd. Stella calls Trevor and says she might need to leave the past behind. And you are the past, Trevor. Cordell sees a truck pull up and runs out to meet Micki. She apologizes for holding a grudge over him leaving. She tries to shake hands and he hugs her instead. She thinks they can just be friends now instead of partners, and he says they're not friends, they're family. And then she oohs and aahs over the alpacas, which she recognizes immediately as alpacas and not llamas, and also points out that little Hoyt is actually a girl. Oops. Awkward. Cordell is surprised she can just tell. "Most people can." Yeah, you are the worst rancher's son ever. Then Cordell sees the fence is carved with a memorial to Hoyt. Aw.

He is also the sweetest thing.

So. Less drama than last week. More warmth. A ridiculous B story that was as annoying as giving Cas his own plot. Will I still watch next week? Yeah, probably. I have questions. How did Grandpa know they were alpacas? Where is the baby daddy? Can Cordell and his rancher father really not tell the difference between a male and female alpaca? Why is Geri riding the bus home, when her car is at the Walker's? Why is she avoiding the Walker Ranch? Will August ever get his own plot again?

It's just a shame that this episode didn't have any shout-outs to Supernatural, like the last one did...

[tundrainafrica]

after i read a lot of levihan fanfics (really a lot, you have no idea) i noticed that in 99% of them levi is the person with problems, a sad life and stuff, while hange is the sunshine whit a perfect life, and i can't stop think that its like no one really notice her feelings, she's more than a crazy scientist who's always smiling and being noise, she have burdens too, but she's manage to really hide them (but if u pay attention u can see that, even more in s4) what do you think about that?

This kinda builds off of my rant a while ago about the social class headcanon I have of Levi and Hange so yeah, lemme share this incredibly thought provoking post from reddit that my bf and I ended up discussing late last night before I go into another rant 

This post -  The post is in Tagalog though so lemme summarize it for non Tagalog speakers. A call center agent from the Philippines was basically saying that she would check the callers IDs and addresses of the customers. She noticed a trend that the people from more well off areas were a lot more polite than the poorer clients. They would say please and thank you, they were much friendlier and they were more patient with customer service. And the people from poorer areas on the other hand were more likely to shout at her and curse her. 

Someone replied with this explanation. It’s thought provoking in itself thats why my boyfriend and I spent a good hour or so talking about it.  The fact that rich people can go through stuff knowing that they’re riding on the backs of a trust fund and mommy and daddy’s properties makes it all the easier to accept simple inconveniences and be patient with them. That’s why from a young age, a lot of rich people are surprisingly incredibly nice and approachable. On top of the fact, they’re groomed to realize that business and money on the top level are made through connections and pleasantries more than actual labor. 

Trying to survive among lower social classes is a completely different story. The people from poorer areas who lost their wifi are people who don’t have much choice elsewhere, who are riding scholarships to get to college. And we all know that poor people have less room for failure than rich people. They actually have to live what could be considered “a perfect existence” to even brush elbows with the rich. And that’s why a lot of poor people are willing to push into buses, jump turnstiles in the subway. It’s the sheer desperation of survival. 

In fact, I think Levi’s past in AOT can be seen as a social commentary to do this. 

In fact, Kenny already mentioned this explicitly that he had to teach Levi how to fight and be an asshole just so Levi could have a chance at life underground. Levi having been forced to live a life of survival is just more abrasive because he’s the person who had to learn how to fight and had to accept the reality that he had to do unfavorable things to survive and to possibly thrive. That’s why he comes out looking the way he does and his sad life, problems tend to resonate more.

In the AOT verse, Levi had to be ridiculously strong just to be able to brush elbows with all the higher ups in the military. 

Hange on the other hand is able to depict herself as a sunshine with a perfect life so naturally and easily because she never had to struggle growing up (in my headcanon at least) and she was groomed to not be an asshole from a young age. She grew up trained to know that you can catch more flies with honey. And I only think, keeping my HC in mind, that she never had to experience true desperation growing up and that’s why she just became so good at being “nice” and “friendly.”

Towards the latter parts of the series, we see true desperation there and Hange had gotten used to being nice already and hiding her feelings have become second nature. Even if it became a life or death, even if it became an issue of power play and politics, Hange still knew how to hide her feelings. 

Possibly, there was the guilt of knowing “I didn’t have it as hard as the other people here, so lemme at least try to be that perfect ray of sunshine.” Also, she is the commander so she kinda has to hide it. She knows the importance of morale. She knows how important how she depicts herself is and that’s why she tried so hard to stay strong and to stay approachable. 

But really, Look at this face though. Her last panels were just painful man. She was smiling but her eyes definitely weren’t. 

Towards the end, she was just tired.

[bunneechan]

Historia's fate

So my boyfriend and I were discussing about Historia's fate if things went a little different from season 2 or season 3.

I recently read this theory by @dorovahkiin and although the fake pregnancy theory is disproved since chapter 134, they still really made a lot of great points. Check it out if you'd like.

Anyways...

What if Reiner took Historia to Marley?

As we know, Historia was also a person of interest by the RBA trio, though she was not really a priority since they were looking for the Founding Titan. When Ymir decides to go with Reiner and Bertholdt, on the condition that Historia also joins them, they agreed. They even went back for her. But of course, Ymir changed her mind and instead, made Reiner and Bertholdt promise to save/protect Historia instead.

So there would have been a scenario where Historia does go with them. Here's what we believe would happen if she was at Marley:

She will most likely be taken prisoner. Zeke will probably get annoyed and moreso his superiors since to them, they have to deal with another Eldian, from Paradis of all things. This decision will be questioned and Zeke will get suspicious in a matter of time. Ymir has the Jaw Titan so even if she ends up as prisoner, she'd still have more use than Historia. Reiner is also under orders and simply can't act on his own to save her, lest he wants his family to be killed or for him to be eaten by the next candidate prematurely.

That would be the case if Historia was simply another extra Eldian to them. But what if they knew of the royal blood in her veins?

She will probably be treated better but this would be at the cost of her becoming a breeder for the Marleyan government. This would make their military stronger. Same thing would have happened to Dina Fritz if Kruger didn't stop Grisha from blurting out that she carries royal blood.

In both cases, Ymir would still be eaten and Reiner, despite being the only person left that she knows in a foreign land, would be busy with the wars Marley was fighting. Basically, Historia would end up alone and miserable.

Obviously, this didn't happen. She stayed behind and became the Queen of the Walls. Her life here is definitely better but still not ideal for her, I think.

Wasn't the whole point of her arc was so she can live her own life? That was literally what Ymir wants for her. But she seems to have done the opposite.

Historia became the queen because they needed her to. She is technically just a puppet monarch, as stated by Nile (I think it was him, not sure because of the dialogue bubble position). They just needed her for their coup to work. The term puppet monarch suggests someone can still manipulate her despite her status as queen.

So that went well. Historia became queen and she helped orphans. So even if she was dictated to become queen, she did it anyway and she is doing something of her own for others, especially children. Which is really nice.

Now the pregnancy. I am not saying pregnancy or motherhood is like a bad thing that enslaves women. I'm sure at some point, Historia would be happy to have her own kids and be a mother... at her own pace. I don't think she wanted to get pregnant yet. At least, it wasn't her priority at the time. But it seemed like she needed to get pregnant in order to buy some time or because she needed to reproduce children with royal bloodlines (which btw, was covered in the theory that it makes more sense for Zeke to do this instead of her).

I was really hoping the pregnancy was fake, for her sake. The link above provided some excellent points about how it would have been achieved and who would be involved. But most of all, I believe it would have been ideal to her character as well. She would at least have an out, if she ever chooses to, without something holding her back. Again, it's not like having kids is a bad thing. But Historia just looked so miserable in the time-skip that it just seems like she didn't really want it. I am reminded of a scene where she agrees to eat the Beast Titan but Eren stopped her from that decision. You can literally see her crying tears of relief in the next panels. It implies that even though she was willing to do it, she does not really want to do it. But she would still do it if it meant helping them in some way, regardless of what she feels.

Historia may be the queen, but she is also a soldier. She prefers to actually help on the frontlines rather than sidelines. Perhaps that was one reason why she was so miserable. Because she doesn't feel like doing much with just "surviving". That's what Historia seems to be doing lately. She is not living her own life. She is just surviving.

If this is what Reiner was supposed to save or protect her from (regarding his promise to Ymir), I don't think there's much he can do at this point, especially with his remaining time. We are not even sure if the promise remains relevant with only 2 chapters left or if the shifters can find a way to break the curse. This would be upsetting if ever, because then what was the point of that plot being established since season 2 and once again mentioned in season 3?

In conclusion, Historia has no escape from her miserable fate. Whether she is at Paradis or Marley, she will still be used by others because of her royal blood, which is both a blessing and a curse. But we are yet to see her side so there may be hope for her. I just hope it's not too late.

@dorovahkiin i hope you don't mind. I got some influence from your analyses on Historia when my bf and I were discussing.

[shhhlikeme]

Hi there!! Welcome to the writing committee! I just wanted to say you’re so beautiful and i love what you’re doing so far! Here’s a request for you, maybe with Bokuto where him and his girlfriend sneak out for a late night snack. Thank you so much and keep it up 😊

Thank you so much babe it means a lot! 😘 Bokuto is a jewel omg. Hope this suffices!

————————————————

Bokuto & Operation: ‘Sneak My Girlfriend Out of Her Strict Parents House for Late Night Snacks’

Bokuto x Reader

——————————————

“So, your code name is ‘Sexy Thighs’. And mine is ‘Thigh Guy 6000.’” Your boyfriend Bokuto whispered seriously. He easily lifted you through your ground-floor bedroom window to join him outside.

Your heart was racing due to the slight adrenaline rush. You clung to his strong arms until your feet met the ground of your backyard. You turned and stuck an arm through your window so you could cover the open space with a pillow. You had to leave the window open so you could crawl back in upon return.

“I agreed to sneak out but I draw the line at cheesy code names—“ You whispered back to him. You dusted off your outfit and finally looked up at your sulking boyfriend. Immediately, you caved.

“Fine. We can use code names.” You whispered.

A wide smile crept up on his face and he lifted both of his arms in the air in triumph. “HEY! HEY! HEY! Operation: ‘Sneak My Girlfriend Out of Her Strict Parents House for Late Night Snacks’ has officially commenced!”

“Shhhhhhhhhhh!” You swatted your boyfriend on the arm when he whisper-yelled his famous battle cry, glaring at him to quiet down.

You loved him, but he was sooooo loud all the time sometimes.

Bokuto nodded and grabbed your hand. Holding it tightly, he crouched down by the side of your window as he motioned for you to crouch down too.

Humouring him, you did. You followed him as he glued the side of his body to the side of your house and stealthily tip toed over to the end of the brick.

“I’m going to check if the coast is clear, and on my word we make a run for it. Got it?”

You stared up at your boyfriend in the dark and only now realized he was decked out in all black, including a black beanie that covered his familiar grey and black hair. God he’s dramatic. But you had to admit he looked super cute since his handsome face stood out more without the visuals of his unique hair. You gave him a nod letting him know you were listening to him. ‘Go.’ You mouthed.

Bokuto proceeded to peer around the corner like he was in a Spy Kids movie. He leaned slightly to check but he must have seen something because he quietly gasped and whipped his body back behind the wall. He shut his eyes in fear. In an instant, his arm jutted out in front of you like a shield, pushing you flesh against the wall too in an act of protection. You panicked.

“What?!” You whisper-yelled. “What is it Bokuto?! Do you see someone???” Your life flashed before your eyes because if your mom or dad caught you sneaking out you were DEAD dead. Bokuto didn’t respond.

“Bokuto! Who is there???”

Your boyfriend stuck his nose up in the air, turning away from you in a dismissive pout. He was purposely ignoring you.

You sighed in exasperation, pinching your nose and closing your eyes. “Boku—“

“That’s not my name.” He snapped in a whisper. He shook his head childishly.

You grit your teeth together to keep yourself from stomping on his foot. “Okay. I’m sorry, Bokut—I mean: Thigh Guy three thousand–“

“Six thousand!” He corrected you.

“Thigh Guy 6000.”

You watched Bokuto’s pout transform into an ecstatic smile. You continued. “Did you see someone over there?”

He looked down at you. “Oh.....no. I was just practicing my protection pose in case I did.”

You swat him harder on the arm than the last time and he winced.

“You know, for such a small chick you are really strong.” He rubbed where you hit him.

“Poor baby.” You whispered sarcastically. “And can I just add that you don’t need to practice a protection pose for me— if my parents really were there it’s you that would need to run for your life.”

Bokuto chuckled quietly. “Sexy Thighs, need I remind you that I’m one of the Top 5 Ace’s in the Country? I think I can handle a little dash of strict parents.....”

You rolled your eyes at your conceited boy even though he couldn’t see it in the dark at 1:30am.

You watched as he peered over the edge of your house again.

“The coast is clear, Sexy Thighs. We ride east at 0600 hours.”

“We’re going west, and that’s not how military time work—“

Your boyfriend interrupted you. “Let me live, will you?! Let’s go.”

Operation: ‘Sneak My Girlfriend Out of Her Strict Parents House for Late Night Snacks’ phase one: Escape was a success ✅

You and Bokuto were able to walk downtown easily in the cool night. Summer was transitioning to fall so it wasn’t cold enough for a jacket, but it definitely wasn’t warm enough for a t-shirt. Your boyfriend looked very attractive in a his hoodie, shorts and beanie while you settled for a skin tight blue thermal zip-up, and black lululemons.

Bokuto loved when you wore leggings for obvious reasons.... and he couldn’t resist smacking your ass a dozen or so times in the 15 minute walk downtown.

Barely anyone was on the street on your peaceful night walk

You both loved it. The night sky, the quiet, the fact that you felt safe pressed against your man and he felt elated whenever he got to see his girlfriend outside of your parents’ strict ‘boyfriend time’ hours

Once you both got downtown it was flooding with College Student’s leaving the bars. It was very loud and bustling

Bokuto anxiously looked around to check if the coast was clear and you were far enough from your house so he could,

“Hey! Hey! Heeeey!” He exclaimed to no one in particular. People looked at the crazy boy screaming and you put your head down from embarrassment. “Man.” He smiled. “I hated whispering that before. So I had to.”

Bokuto took your hand in his again and pulled you in the direction of the food stands.

On the way, unfortunately, you were cat-called and whistled at quite a bit by obnoxious drunk college boys leaving the clubs

Bokuto gripped your hand tighter

He wanted to rip their faces off but he knew he couldn’t risk going to jail tonight or getting you caught by your parents

He just held you closer to him and shot death glares at the guys who backed off

You loved him omg

Past the clubs, Bokuto practically skipped to a stop in a food truck line. He was smiling again and you couldn’t help but smile too

His energy was so infectious

You asked him what food you two were getting and he just told you it was a surprise and to trust the process

Bokuto was so happy to be with you he could barely contain himself. He was bursting at the seams at the fact that you actually agreed to sneak out with him. His parents were the opposite of yours and it was hard to date you when yours had such strong restrictions but he would do anything if it meant spending time with you.

In the line, he leaned down to pick you up so you both were face-to-face

“I love you, Sexy Thighs. Y’know that right?”

You squealed when he picked you up but melted at his words. You kissed his nose.

“I love you more..” You smiled.

“You love me more, what?” He waited.

“I love you more, Thigh Guy 6000. Now put me down.”

He didn’t listen to you and kept you propped up in his arms as the line started moving forward. He loved having you flushed against him like this. The guys that were cat calling you would know that you were his, and It also gave him a handful of your amazing ass.

To bystanders, the public display of affection wasn’t even that odd — you two just looked like a young couple that are very much in love

Which is true

You rested your head in the crook of your boyfriends warm neck. As much as you hated when he showed a mass amount of PDA, you were so comfortable and happy in his arms. You nuzzled into the neck and absentmindedly placed soft kisses there.

“Sexy Thighs....” Bokuto warned, holding back a groan. “You know what that does to me....”

you pulled your lips away from his neck.

“Sorry. Habit.”

Now at the front of the food stand line, Bokuto used his one strong arm to support your weight and used the other to point to the menu. You could hear him ordering

“Can we please get a number 2, a number 8, another number 2, and a number 11. Oh, and two hot chocolates please. One with extra marshmallows.”

You smiled. You’ve only mentioned that once in passing and he remembered you were a simp for hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

He paid. 5 minutes later you heard who must be the food truck worker say,

“Here you go sir.”

Bokuto reluctantly had to put you down to collect his order.

You saw him thank the worker exuberantly and drop a great tip into the the tip jar. The worker thanked him profusely.

That’s one thing you loved about your boyfriend—his attitude was literally addicting and it spread to anyone he was near

He took your hand again and walked you to the river that was close to downtown. You noted that there were other couples here, holding hands, stargazing and talking. Bokuto found an empty bench and you both sat down

“Babe, you cold? You want my sweater?”

You shook your head. You felt absolutely fine and the hot chocolate made you feel even better. He was such a softie, always worried about you. It made you feel like royalty, honestly.

“I’m perfect.”

He smiled before unpacking the bag of late night snacks. You looked down at everything that was displayed in front of you.

You saw churros, deep friend oreo, a deep fried mars bar and caramel corn. Your favourites.

You smiled at him before leaping up to hug him. He chuckled again and ran a hand down your back.

“We don’t have a lot of time, Sexy Thighs. Your parents usually check on you at some point so we should hurry.”

Nodding, you kissed his cheek and turned your attention back to the snacks. You fed eachother and ate as much as you could until the sweets were too much.

You thanked your heaven sent bf again as you threw out all the leftovers.

You were on cloud nine it was an amazing date !!!!

Well, most of it. Bokuto tried feeding the churros to the birds who would not eat it lol

When you realized it was almost 3am the two of you rushed back to your house

Bokuto almost immediately went back into Spy Kids mode and even did a front roll to land in front of your bedroom window again.

You clasped a hand over your mouth so no one could hear you giggle.

Bokuto looked backs at you expectantly.

Knowing what he was silently asking for, you threw caution and your dignity to the wind and copied his somersault to land beside him

You beamed at eachother before Bokuto fixed your disheveled hair and leaned in kiss you—

Suddenly you were interrupted by hearing your bedroom door swing open

The two of you froze in terror as you listened to your fathers voice from outside of the bedroom window

He sounded like it was speaking from your door entryway

You both covered each other’s mouths with your hands.

“She’s dead asleep, honey.” Muttered your father tiredly. “She has the covers over her entire body like she used to do when she was a kid. She must be really tired.”

Then you heard the click of your door that signalled it was closed again.

Since you couldn’t move, Bokuto checked for you. He sighed in relief and only then did you let out the breath you’ve been holding in.

“Sexy Thighs, you are brilliant. How did you think to put pillows in your place on the bed?”

You told him you saw it in a movie and he looked at you like you were a superstar

Bokuto helped you back up into your window silently

You thanked him and you both leaned through the opening to kiss eachother goodnight.

“So I guess Operation: ‘Sneak My Girlfriend Out of Her Strict Parents House for Late Night Snacks’ was a success, huh?” He whispered onto your lips, leaning in for another kiss. He really didn’t want to leave. “I can’t wait until we move into together, Y/N. We could do this all the time.”

You smiled lovingly, kissing your boyfriends nose again. “I can’t wait either. And I also can’t wait until your next mission, Mr. Sexy Thighs 6000.”

Bokuto’s eyes lit up. “Really? Have I corrupted you?” He smirked when you mouthed ‘maybe.’

“Well I’m glad to hear that you don’t mind being my partner in crime because my next mission is called Operation: Send Your Boyfriend a Booty Pic in your Panties Because He Loves Those Leggings on You And He Wants To—“

You interrupt him with one more chaste kiss. “Goodnight, Bokuto.”

As you shut the window you can hear your boyfriend whisper-yell: “You know if you want to keep calling me ‘Sexy Thighs 6000’ I won’t complain!”

You blew a kiss his way and waved to your boyfriend through the window before shooing him away.

He salutes and you laugh as you watch him stealthily somersault out of your view.

[cutebutstillsingle]

... you mean designed to be deleted because the people at @Hinge are not the brightest crayons in the box?

I violated nothing, let me assure you. I have a master’s degree, I’m a perfectly upstanding citizen who was genuinely on Hinge hoping to engage in some harmless socialization with good men.  I wasn't even on there with the intention of seeking a romantic relationship after learning from my last bf (found on Hinge) that shit can’t be moving too quickly. You really gotta take your time with dudes these days. 

So here’s what went down when I reactivated my Hinge account this time, in 2021... 

Within one week of firing up a Hinge account I got Catfished and lied to three times. The first was by a person who didn’t mention they had children, until the baby showed up on the video date-from-home chat. Second, by a guy who looked nothing like his fucking pictures OK? Homie was a good 200 pounds bigger than the person in the photograph, looked nothing like the person in the photo except by maybe ethnicity, and even during the date-from-home video he refused to ever put the camera lower than to allow me to see the top third of his face, while blaming the strange angle on the lighting.  And then, the third, and the worst —I got tooth-fished. By which I mean unfortunately the dude was legit missing multiple front teeth. Which of course did not come across in his photos on his Hinge profile.

No offense to anyone toothless out there, but if you are toothless in your 30s and beyond, you should know by that age to get some dental work done. And if you’re cruising around hiding the fact that you’re the father of a toddler, or that you’re 200 pounds heavier than the photos you choose to put on your dating profile, I don’t know what to say about your mental stability and/or social intelligence. Except that you are lying.  You’re lying to the people on Hinge and you’re lying to yourself and in profound denial about your true state. 

To make a long story short, I’m sure it was one of these guys I had to un-hinge from who likely reported fake violations and got my account shut down. 

But getting banned Hinge did make me realize that as a woman, we need to craft our profile much more mindfully.  Because apparently at any moment’s notice you can get banned by the app without a reason, investigation, or warning.  And God only knows  who’s “reporting” your profile, or what is happening to your information and photographs.  For all you know, the 300 pound creepers with kids they’re hiding and no teeth are screenshooting all of your information, and doing who the hell knows with it. There is theoretically nothing stopping a creepy ass dude from taking all of your photos and turning them into another fake profile or throwing it up on some other website. Who the hell knows what any of these social media apps do with the world’s photos and information, is the point. 

That being said, here is my advice: 

-Leave  off any obvious identifiers that would easily allow yourself to be noticed in public if you don’t want the bitter rejected gentleman callers to be able to spot me in public. Or sex traffickers. Real talk. Listen up, ladies. 

- leave your rare breed pets off the account.

- leave all kids’ faces off dating profiles. I don’t even know how it’s legal for dating sites to allow children’s faces on them; even if it is your very own child, that’s not the point.  The reality is that sex traffickers can memorize you, screenshot that photo, and stalk you and your child at Walmart. Sex trafficking is so real in my state. It is a MAJOR problem. 

- Never, ever  feature your car on your dating profile. This should be sound advice for men, too. I know you males love to floss your vehicles cause dudes are obsessed with cars-- yeah maybe stop doing that. 

- For the love of god never, ever put your last name on a dating profile & maybe even shorten your first name or deliberately misspell a rare name so that stalkers don’t background check yo ass.  If they ask you “is that your real name?” let them believe whatever they want.  The only people who are safe to put a complete name on a dating site are men in the military. Because they know how to operate firearms and how to engage in hand-to-hand combat when they’re in a situation of danger.  The average woman? Not so much. Even those of you men who ARE soldier dads-- don’t put your firs and last name on that shit and make your children vulnerable to sex traffickers. 

- Don’t give people locational details, tell them where you work, or what businesses you own. You can say what industry you work in; so something like “Jenny. Teacher at Public School”. A guy who owns a very specifically-named health bar/ smoothie bowl business in my city told me he was the owner of what he claimed was a family business.  And he failed to realize that he is mixing business and personal life with complete strangers from the internet. If he makes a poor impression, or we don’t end up vibing, I can’t ever go into that business ever again, yenno? And I really like that business. So I made it clear that I would prolly not pursue anything. And I suggested he not tell girls the name of his (family) business, for the business’ sake. 

- Never use your actual phone number as you are getting to know guys from dating sites. Two words: google voice. if you meet up IRL and he is safe & cool, then he may earn your real number thereafter.

- Be extra cautious with travelers. Many men vacation-date. Hell, I’ve vacation-dated, many times (domestically, not internationally).  And you do not know who those fools really are. They could be married. They could have criminal records. Not only are they complete strangers but they are complete strangers from different states. Pay attention to the details they give you. for example, I was talking to a guy on Hinge who said he was a doctor. And then he said he got a Covid test from CVS in order to prepare for his trip to my state. His hometown listed one location, and then he said he lived in another state. I’m the kind of woman who pays attention to these kinds of details. If the man is a medical doctor, why would he need a Covid test from CVS? Would he not be able to get one from the hospital he works at??? Why is Hinge more concerned about people’s ‘hometown’ then they are with someone’s city of residence, yenno? Just me? 

Anyway, I hope these safety tips keep you safer out there as you navigate the treacherous seas of online dating. And now you all know that Hinge will spontaneously delete your account at random if they feel like it.  Maybe Hinge deleting my account unfairly is a blessing in disguise...

[uwunnie]

Mombebe I'm really really worried about the new kids SSE is debuting... I've already seen some VERY vocal "MBBs" on twt starting to hate on them and blame the KIDS for what happened with MX, and have already started bullying other MBB/multis who where fans of x1 for supporting their debut. MBBs should be against bullying of ALL types, and I don't think MX would appreciate their younger brother group to be pushed around by MBB, even despite their situation.

In no way am I defending the people doing that; I’m just going to explain why they’re doing it because I have others in my inbox asking why, so I’m going to feed two birds with one handful of seed.

—

SSE tends to focus on their new groups to the point of where it can leave the other groups in the shadows, so-to-speak. Many have said MX was the reason Boyfriend — another popular group under SSE — disbanded.

I can see why some think that because SSE does treat their artists differently when new groups debut, but I think two points should be acknowledged. To begin, though, I’ll make the first point (point #1) explaining what happened:

Boyfriend debuted in 2011 when the Kpop scene was split between concepts. You had half of the fandom who liked dark concepts and the other half liking cute ones. Boyfriend debuted with a cute concept and gained a lot of attention and grew a fan base fairly quickly. It remained like this until SSE did No Mercy in which the current groups under the label (we’re going to focus on Boyfriend and also partially on Sistar) began experiencing less activity. Sistar members were asked to judge No Mercy, so they received a little more activities I suppose, but as far as Boyfriend went, SSE did forget about them, unfortunately. I’m going to utilize the next to points to explain why that could that have happened.

Back to the concepts, Boyfriend tried to hold onto the cutesy, soft images even when other boy groups were doing bolder, harder ones. I was around for all of this and I can account for a lot of their fanbase noting the concept to be “boring” and moving onto other groups. :/

In addition, SSE wasn’t giving them as many promotions or comebacks as they had been doing when Boyfriend was their star boy group. They started bringing more attention to the No Mercy contestants and since Boyfriend wasn’t able to produce as much as they were, a lot of the remaining fanbase left and began focusing on No Mercy contestants who, later on, formed MX. Boyfriend tried to adapt new concepts and created their own harder styles, but at that point, it was too late and it was apparent that SSE had essentially dropped them.

What we’re seeing now is history trying to repeat itself. A lot of the Monbebes who are vocalizing such opinions were probably BestFriends (BF’s fandom) at some point, or learned about all this from a Best Friend, so they’re starting to worry with SSE’s new boy group, but — but— I’d like to point out something:

Monsta X has stayed strong throughout their years. They have gained a wicked international following and have a pretty solid local one as well. People know them and SSE invested a lot of time and money into them — more than they did Boyfriend and maybe even Sistar.

With that being said, there’s also another underlying factor: The fandoms have changed.

Back in the day, a lot of fans really weren’t multis like you see today. They stuck to one or two groups and that was it. Now, with multis on the rise, everyone can be a fan of more than one group in peace (for the most part — you still have certain uh...fandoms who talk badly about multis, but that’s not any multis’ problem 🤷🏼‍♀️) and their support continues.

MX has a large fanbase and they’re one of he industry’s biggest groups. Not to mention, they also just defied history and the odds with what’s recently occurred these past four months and most notably, this past weekend. Monbebes are also a pretty sturdy fanbase and will stick with them regardless — also proven in these past months. With Boyfriend, unfortunately, their fanbase wasn’t as strong (mostly due to what I explained about the fandom culture at the time). SSE sees profit (hate to word it like that, but it’s the truth) in MX, so they’ll still give them promotions and comebacks because of it and also because Monbebes will (rightfully) bite the CEO’s toes off if he didn’t.

With all of this being said, Monbebes need to be respectful to the new group. I have a feeling SSE is doing this to both expand their label and also to continue being a label while MX is dealing with their enlistments. It’s okay to support the new group — I’m sure they’re going to be amazing and we all know how scary it is for rookies to debut. Also, they have absolutely no correlation to what happened with Wonho; Han Seo Hee and Jung Da Eun did, so everyone better get their facts straight.

So, in conclusion, support the new group and continue respectfully remembering, talking about, and promoting MX as well — especially when they go into the military.

—

Be nice, everyone — karma is watching.

[dorovahkiin]

SnK Theory (MANGA SPOILERS): Why I believe Historia’s pregnancy is fake.

Some time ago, I read this theory on Reddit that Historia’s pregnancy is fake. I thought it was an interesting idea, but the user didn’t elaborate that much, so I perceived it lacked evidence. However, I kept the idea in mind. Over the next chapters (and especially since the newest chapters so SPOILER ALERT) we actually did get subtle evidence that Historia’s pregnancy could be fake. At least that’s what I believe. Since I haven’t seen any decent explanation of the theory on the internet, I decided to do it myself. It will be very long, so grab a cup of tea Levi has just prepared for you and enjoy :)

© to the artist. I haven’t found an artist anywhere, so if this is your pic and you want it to be removed or given credit please tell me

And again, this will contain manga SPOILERS up to chapter 125.

You have been warned.

Before we actually start with the theory, we first need to summarize Zeke’s “secret plan” again. Just as reminder. Zeke’s secret plan was the following:

Rumble the world as deterrent in order to protect Paradis for the next 50 years

Raise the military strength to a global level in this time until rumbling is no longer needed

Chapter 107

…And finally….

In order to maintain the rumbling a founding Titan and a Titan with royal blood is always required. Since titan shifters die after 13 years, you'll need several candidates of royal blood. Passing the titan-power down from generation to generation. Since there are only two persons of royal blood left alive (as far as we know), who are Zeke and Historia, they'd need to reproduce in order to make the plan happen.

Chapter 107

Chapter 107

…When reading this the first time, I already thought that something was wrong…

This plan is way too risky, has too many incalculable factors and too many holes. But that’s another topic. Anyways, in the latest chapters it turned out that Zeke was fooling everyone and hid his true intentions:

He wanted to use the founding titan in order to make contact with Ymir. Then he wanted to command her to take away the Eldian’s ability to reproduce. Just in a matter of decades, the Eldian race would extinct without any more casualties and the world would be at peace (until new conflicts arise e.g. nuclear weapons lol). I guess the reason for not telling the truth was because the Eldians would have never agreed to that. Maybe there were more reasons, but that’s what came into my mind.

Chapter 122

Anyways, Zeke did not tell his true intentions. He made up this fake plan to get to Paradis and to manipulate and deceive everyone so he could get in contact with the founding Titan (Eren) in order to make his true plan come to reality.

Back to chapter 107. When Hanji reacts to Zeke’s fake plan, she seems to be conflicted and not happy about it. She doesn’t like the imagination of enslaving Historia (or anyone) into a breeding machine because of her royal blood only to be eaten soon. Again and again.

(Side note: Why the fuck does Historia have to reproduce and not Zeke? Because Historia offered it first or what? In Zeke’s remaining year he is able to reproduce more than Historia in a lifetime. Histora can only bear once a year whereas Zeke could father hundreds of children a year. Why didn’t anyone consider this in the assembly?!)

…Hanji’s reaction to Zeke’s fake plan is the following:

“Will it really end in 50 years…?

No matter what else might be developed, the earth-shaking is an immensely powerful weapon…

If we must depend on it, the danger of assassination would follow these heirs to the royal family down through the generations…

From parent to child, just like the Reiss family…

Again…

…And again…

…Does that mean we should leave our children in a lose-lose situation?

Just because it saves us now…

Of course not. There’s no way this could be allowed. And yet.”

Chapter 107

I guess Hanji wanted to say something like: “And yet what other options do we have?” or something like that.

However, this tells us that Hanji has:

Doubts about Zeke’s plan (probably doesn’t trust him anyways)

Doesn’t like the idea of using anyone as breeding machine, feeding people to titans regularly and putting future generations in danger

But she also doesn’t know any alternative at this point. So what options does she have?

Either accept the plan or reject the plan. If she wants to keep the allies (and she has to keep them because otherwise they are screwed at that point), she has to agree to that plan. In other words she cannot openly reject it because otherwise they will lose the allies. She has to play along. On the other hand, she doesn’t like and trust the plan for the reasons above. Therefore both options are a choose between the devil and the deep blue sea and Hanji knows that. Especially because the allies want an answer immediately because Zeke doesn’t have much time left to live.

HOWEVER. There is a third option nobody mentions: Gaining more time in order to think about new ideas to solve this madness by BLUFFING. To be more clear: Historia has to pretend to be pregnant. Fake pregnancy.

By doing so you would not only save Histora from turning into a breeding machine, but the allies would also keep being allies and think everything is fine. At least for some time. And Hanji needs the time to come up with a better plan.

Maybe you remember, but Eren initially said that he doesn’t like Zeke’s plan and they should instead think of other options and Hanji kinda agreed as she later states “We haven’t found another way out yet”:

Chapter 107

(Sidenote: It’s interesting because what Eren says now is quite the opposite of what he said in those panel about NOT destroying the world. I guess he changes his mind? lol)

Furthermore a (fake) pregnancy would save Historia from turning into a titan (at least for nine months, but that’s buying time again). If you remember right other people wanted Historia to eat Zeke once he’d come to Paradis. A (fake) pregnancy would hinder this because it’s too dangerous and there are too many unknown factors:

This is all from chapter 108

So now you might think: How is Historia able to fake pregnancy?

…Well that’s actually not as hard as you think if you plan it thoroughly:

Pregnancy suit. You don’t need ultra technology to tailor one.

Hanji is not only a skilled scientist, but also clever as fuck, in fact the most intelligent character in the series with Zeke. If you look at her statistics you’ll see that her Wits scores 10/10 and her Intelligence scores 11(!)/10.

I got this from Hanji’s Wiki article. You can also check the guidebook if you have it

…If anyone is able to fake Historia’s pregnancy it’s Hanji. In the past we’ve seen how many times her intelligence saved the Survey Corps’ and humanity’s ass. She’s not the new Survey Corps’ commander for nothing. She has bluffed and gambled a lot of times. Faking this pregnancy suits her past tactics.

Furthermore, in my opinion Hanji acted way too average so far. She didn’t really have any moments to shine and to prove how smart she truly is. Because there is more behind what we have seen so far.

To make fake pregnancy successful, you'll need friends who help you. People you can trust obviously. Because otherwise it won't be easy to keep the farce for a long time. So who could be those people? I think next to Historia and Hanji there are at least three more people who are in on the secret. But before we'll take a look at those three persons in detail, we'll shift our look to the “at least” part:

Historia is a popular Queen and loved by the civilians. She saved Paradis from the Rod Reiss titan and she is of royal blood. There are probably a few of those civilians Historia trusts. For example a maid, a tailor, a doctor or a farmer. This would be helpful to fake the pregnancy.

(Sidenote: I don’t believe that Yelena would be THAT strict and want to see Historia’s naked belly. As proof. Not only because it’s disrespectful, but also because there’s no reason. Yelena wants Zeke to live as long as possible, so the pregnancy suits her plans well. And even if it’s fake it wouldn’t make a difference because a fake pregnancy would still mean that Zeke would live longer. So I guess she doesn’t really care because either option doesn’t destroy her goals. Furthermore, wanting to see Historia’s belly would imply Yelena doesn’t respect and trust her allies and that would deceive her appearances.)

I wondered if anyone of the 104th training corps would know about the fake pregnancy since they are close to Hanji and Historia, but I think they rather don’t (except for one person I will mention later). I mean it would not surprise me if they knew, but there is simply no reason for them to know because there is no advantage to it. And the more confidants you have the harder it is to keep a secret an actual secret.

Now, let’s move on to the three persons I believe are not only confidants, but also took a big part in plotting this farce:

Farmer-kun

Eren Jäger

Levi Ackermann

Let me explain.

1. Farmer-kun

So, the official version is that Farmer-kun is the father of Historia’s baby and her partner. When Nile and the MP dudes talk about it, they seem to assume that Farmer-kun and Historia are a romantic couple that didn’t get married for some reasons (this is already suspicious).

This is both from chapter 108

A lot of fans already do agree that Farmer-kun is not the father. It’s mainly the EreHisu shippers, but they do have a point here. Why would Historia choose this random guy as her partner and as the father of her child? It just seems too suspicious and too random for us readers, different from what we are used to regarding Isayama’s writing. We have to look at the big picture: What is Historia’s purpose in the story? Giving birth to a child she had with a random nobody no one cares about and keep being used as a political tool until the end?

That would be disappointing, especially because she had awesome development in the past (for example in the uprising arc).

I believe Isayama wants to fool us here.

Furthermore, it seems like Historia doesn’t even like this guy. Notice her face when she is around him. That’s not how you look at someone you love. She looks depressed and annoyed (I guess because she feels like a slave):

Chapter 108 and 107

I find this is veeery fishy. Let me present you an alternative that matches with the fake pregnancy theory. Look what Nile says in the picture above:

“He’s (Farmer-kun) been checked out. We know he’s no one’s pawn". Whereas Farmer-kun seems to be suspicious for us readers, he is not suspicious for the citizens or military. A random nobody without any reputation, influence or money. No one cares about him, no one knows him. Since he is a simple farmer and not a nobleman or military guy, he is neutral and not indebted to any important institution (“He is no one’s pawn”). There is nothing he can offer Historia (other than love), therefore no higher institution can manipulate Historia through him. I believe that is what Nile meant when he said “He is no one’s pawn”. This being said, for them Farmer-kun is not suspicious or dangerous at all. This would also mean they wouldn’t observe him that thoroughly as if he were a man of higher status. They probably rather believe she chose him because of love which they find naive, but accept it.

Because of those reasons, Farmer-kun is the perfect candidate as cover-up fake father for a fake pregnancy. I believe he is an active part of the conspiracy.

Why helping her?

It is stated above that he used to throw rocks at her when they were children. And now he feels guilty about it, thus he works at her orphanage. Maybe he even has a crush on her. And she saved him and everyone else from that Rod Reiss titan and became his Queen. In this case it makes sense why he would help. He is indebted to Historia and that’s why she can trust him that he will play along.

Chapter 107

…I believe that his statement: “You need to take better care of yourself” is just another phrase that is supposed to fool us. At first sight you might think okay, he says this because she is pregnant and he wants her to take care of herself and the baby. But I think at this moment, the phrase doesn’t make any sense if you understand it that way. It would make sense if Historia just did something dangerous that could harm the baby and herself, for example drinking or doing heavy physical work. But she is just sitting outside literally doing nothing. It’s not harmful at all. So why would he say this in a moment like that? Out of nowhere?!

Consider another point of view: She is sitting outside. People can spot and observe her easily. If she doesn’t pay attention for a moment, she could do something stupid that reveals that her pregnancy is fake and if anyone is watching she has a problem. So I believe by that phrase Farmer-kun meant that she shouldn’t do anything suspicious and therefore take care.

That’s also why he wants her to come in. Because then nobody could observe and approach her easily.

…Now, let’s move on to the next person I believe is a confidant:

2) Eren Jäger

I already inclined Eren as confidant before, but let’s go more into detail.

The first argument why Eren is a confidant is an easy one: He knows the future through the power of the attack titan, therefore it’s inevitable that he might know anyways. We learned this in chapter 121 (that was a real wtf moment for me by the way):

Chapter 121

Now the question is: If he knew about a fake pregnancy anyways, why would he play along with it?

Eren might be a bit crazy right now and the fandom is arguing about his actions at the moment, but it’s fact that he cares for Historia. In chapter 106 Eren revealed that he can control Titans by touching a Titan with royal blood, which he experienced by touching Dina Fritz. When Levi asked why Eren hid this important fact, Eren replied that he did it because he wanted to protect Historia. His theory was only an assumption anyways. Eren hates the thought of Historia becoming a titan. And I strongly believe he would also hate it if she is being used as breeding machine (just like Hanji’s opinion). That would enslave her. And there is nothing Eren hates more than being enslaved.

Chapter 106

Furthermore, since we now know Eren’s true intentions (revealed in chapter 123), it should be clear that Eren wasn’t planning on playing along with Zeke’s plan anyways. Neither Zeke’s fake plan, nor Zeke’s real plan.

Chapter 123

Eren’s true intention is it to destroy the outside world in order to protect his people and his home. We’ll not discuss about this intention itself, that would be another subject.

Since chapter 125 we know that Eren’s true plan was not spontaneous, but long planned out. Floch confirms that and even reveals Eren told him about his true plan 10 months(!) ago.

Chapter 125

Because Eren was never willing to conduct any of Zeke’s plans anyways, he knew it would also be useless to force Historia into pregnancy. For is own objection Historia being pregnant wouldn’t do anything (Imo the Ymir reincarnation theory doesn't make sense). A fake pregnancy would be much more convenient:

By this the allies would be content but deceived and Historia is protected. Again a reminder: I believe Eren truly cares for Historia. Not in a romantic way (though this is up to interpretation), but as a friend.

Anyways. In order to make Eren’s true plan happening, Eren had to fool both Zeke and his friends. He couldn’t reveal his true intentions. Both Zeke and Eren’s friends wouldn’t second this plan for obvious reasons. Since he told Floch (and maybe some other Jägerists?) though, Floch also could have known about the fake pregnancy and supported it to deceive the allies. So in order to get Ymir’s power to destroy the world Eren had to betray everyone (besides fucking Floch). This having in mind is important for my next point.

Look at this scene (I cut it down to the most important bits):

This is all from chapter 107

…This happens after the rumbling in Marley and Hanji is disappointed by Eren, who acted on his own. Again, Eren did this in order to fulfill his own secret intention he told no one about for the reasons I stated above.

(Sidenote: The last picture his interesting. You see Eren’s desperation. I think he wanted to avoid his final objective, but didn’t see any other way at this point anymore. He is very conflicted and shows that to Hanji. Since Hanji doesn’t understand him and doesn’t trust him any longer, she thinks he is a bit crazy in my opinion.)

As Hanji points out, through his rushed actions Eren put both Paradis and Historia in trouble. Why? I believe we don’t have proper explanation, so this is my own interpretation: The Survey Corps’ main point of attacking Liberio was - next to taking Eren and Zeke with them - to destroy Marley’s naval fleet since Marley kept sending military ships to Paradis. Eren however took it too far. He not only wanted to get the Warhammer Titan in addition, but he also wanted to demonstrate strength to deliver the message: “See what happens if you mess up with me, so fuck you and beware”. He started his attack at the peak of Willy’s speech, so choosing this exact instant of time which would create the most drama confirms that the demonstration/propaganda of power was a crucial part of Eren’s intention. By this he killed a lot of civilians. People like Floch don’t care about this, but people like Hanji, Levi or Jean were clearly against it, which would also mean they didn’t like the idea of rumbling the shit out of the world in the first place just like Zeke’s fake plan suggested.

Furthermore, through Eren’s brutal strategy, the world had now another huge and illustrated reason to be afraid of the Eldians of Paradis. Important people of the whole world were present after all. This fear leads to hate, and this hate leads to the decision to fight against Paradis more than ever in order to get rid of the threat. So in short words, even if a country was still conflicted about Paradis, Eren’s action helped them to decide to fight Paradis as they witnessed Eren’s brutality at first hand. But the consequence of this is that not only Marley but also the rest of the world would take actions against Paradis earlier than initially planned. That’s why it stole Paradis precious time to think of other ways. Ways to not only end the whole conflict, but also to protect Historia from Zeke’s shitty secret fake plan. The fake pregnancy is only a temporary solution you cannot maintain forever after all. This scene shows that they haven’t found another solution yet (besides Eren and his genocide plan lol), and you can feel the pressure and the desperation.

Hanji reproaching: “I always knew that you wouldn’t sacrifice Historia” and “Do you not care about what happens to Historia now?” shows us that:

Hanji cares about Historia and wants to protect her

Eren cares about Historia (or at least he did in the past, but I believe he still does. He also evades Hanji’s question which confirms that thought)

Eren and Hanji must have discussed about Historia’s fate in the past. I believe they came up with the idea of faking the pregnancy as temporary solution to protect her, but since time is running out now they have a problem and haven’t come up with another way to protect Historia in the long term yet (at least Hanji doesn’t). This scene illustrates that conflict pretty well.

Before we’ll finally move on to the third confidant, let me just shortly summarize why I believe Eren is not the father if the pregnancy were real. I know a lot of fans believe in that theory. It is actually not THAT far-fetched, but it has too many holes. These are the most important holes in my opinion:

Eren has only a few more years left to live. Historia can only bear a child once a year and according to Zeke’s plan she has to bear as many children as possible. Why choosing a titan shifter as dad who dies soon? That means Historia needed another partner for making children with once Eren died in the near future. I don’t see the advantage for having several men as dads. It’s rather annoying, especially for Historia.

When Historia is “pregnant”, Eren is already in Marley. When was he supposed to impregnate her? How when he was in Marley? Did he swim back to Paradis only to father a child or what?! Check chapter 123 again. Some people believe that he could have done it before he went to Marley in the first place, but I do not believe this because in 123 Eren didn't seem to care about Hisu romance at all

Eren was the first person who wanted to protect Historia from becoming a titan and a breeding machine. Furthermore, he doesn’t want to follow Zeke’s plan anyways. Then why should he be the first idiot who wanted to impregnate her? He is not the type of man who wants to have an excuse to hit. That’s not what Eren is like.

And that is my personal interpretation: In my opinion Eren and Historia never showed any romantic feelings/interactions towards each other. People can have a strong emotional bond without wanting to bang each other! We did have evidence they care for each other, but there was not one singe romantic evidence. And if it happened off screen then it would be really meh imo. When it comes to the final panel I think the man is Grisha. Furthermore, Eren has other problems to deal with right now. Starting a relationship and becoming a dad wouldn’t be a good timing at all. I think that’s why he doesn’t have the desire for it at the moment either. But again, this is only my own interpretation.

People think Eren is the father because they reckon he is the hooded figure in that one scene. There is a good chance the hooded figure is Eren, but there are more candidates imo (and why would that be a proof of him being the father anyways?!)

Don’t worry I haven’t forgotten about this important scene.

It will be discussed very soon.

…This chapter is done. Let’s move on to the third confidant:

3) Levi Ackermann

According to my theory, Hanji is the main actor and plotter. Nothing against Historia, but I believe Historia is not smart enough to fake pregnancy all by herself (she is a great actress though).

Anyway, what does Levi have to do with all of this? Well, A LOT.

Levi and Hanji are very close comrades. They are not only great friends, but have proven to be a perfect team in the past when it came to plotting (for example in the uprising arc). They rant at each other all the time, but when it comes to serious matters, they always act in concert. They know each other horrifyingly well and trust each other. I mean look, they are even able to read each other’s mind :D

Chapter 106

This is one reason why I believe Levi took part in that. Hanji wouldn’t have done this without at least talking to Levi about it. But that’s not enough evidence. Levi is not Hanji’s puppy, but a human being with his own opinions. So let’s go deeper…

We already talked about the flashback in chapter 106 where Eren reveals that he can control Titans by touching a Titan with royal blood, which he experienced by touching Dina Fritz. We already discussed Eren’s role in this.

Now, let’s focus on Levi in this scene of chapter 106:

Chapter 106

…Levi is pissed that Eren withheld this important information. When Eren reveals his reason Levi simply replies: “We’ll talk about THAT later”.

This happened before the time skip, but we NEVER saw this “We’ll talk about THAT later” conversation between Levi and Eren. Did Isayama not include that scene because he thought it was irrelevant?

Absolutely not. We were just not supposed to know yet. Also, in my opinion Levi and Eren had very little screen-time together since chapter 91. Suspiciously little. I believe we’ll see those scenes soon though. Again, we were just not supposed to see these yet.

Now the question is, would Levi agree to the plan of faking Historia’s pregnancy?

We don’t have proof yet and this is only my own interpretation, but I believe yes, absolutely:

If you really know Levi, you also know that deep inside he is not that bitchy cold ass he seems to be on the outside. He is a selfless person with a big heart who hates casualties. He is a man who deeply cares for individuals.

His relationship with Historia might be a bit strained due to past incidents, but I still believe that he truly cares for her (not shipping here, just to be clear !!!).

Remember when Historia established the orphanage? Levi was helping her a lot with it:

Chapter 70

…I believe he wants to avoid that Historia becomes a breeding machine or turn into a titan. Because he cares for her personally.

HOWEVER… Levi’s biggest goal is it to save humanity and he puts that goal above individual sacrifices. He hates it like nobody else, but that is still what he thinks is the right way. For example when he asked Historia to become Queen. He thought it was the right way, even if he treated her very harshly. For the sake of humanity. Because he didn’t see any other way and because it was Erwin’s idea in the first place. And Levi trusts Erwin. So I believe even if Levi would hate it and even if he cares for Historia, he would still be agreeing to the plan of her turning into a titan and becoming a breeding machine. BUT ONLY if he absolutely didn’t see any other way and if Historia did it by free will. And that’s the point. Faking the pregnancy is a temporary solution and a gamble that gives some time to think about new ways. And gambling is the Survey Corps’ way.

…But the even bigger point is that this is Zeke’s plan we’re talking about in the first place…

We have seen Hanji’s reaction to Zeke’s “secret plan” and her being conflicted about it, but we haven’t seen Levi’s thoughts. Even if he is not as smart as Hanji, I’m sure even he was conflicted about the plan and saw the holes. Furthermore, Levi HATES Zeke. He wants to kill him. Zeke is the last person Levi would trust. I mean if this “secret plan” were Erwin’s idea, things would have been different.

But it’s fucking Zeke Jäger.

I’m sure Hanji talked to Levi about her concerns. So even if Levi didn’t have any doubts in the first place (I believe he did though), Hanji would have told him. And Levi trusts Hanji. As I said before, they are a dream-team. That’s why I believe he agreed to that farce. Also as far as I remember, we didn’t have many (or even any?) scenes with Levi and Hanji discussing anything alone since chapter 91. This is suspicious in my opinion. Moreover, there is a reason why Isayama removed Hanji and Levi from the plot since chapter 115. I don’t believe they are dead by the way. At the moment we are just hoping for them to be alive, but we totally forget that they could have been involved in some big act. Our worries for them distract this important fact.

(125 UPDATE: My babies are alive I’m so fucking happy!)

Onto the next point. There is a good chance the hooded figure is Eren, but I believe the hooded figure is either Hanji Levi, though I tend more to Levi.

Let’s have a look:

Chapter 108

…Most people say this is Eren because of the jacket, but it’s not the same jacket. Eren’s jacket is way darker and fully inked, this is not. (Check it yourself by looking at the one Eren pic above). Actually, the jacket doesn’t say anything. If the person is hooded, he or she doesn’t want to be identified that easily. Furthermore, it is obvious that this person plays an important role and that Isayama is hiding something from us. The jacket itself is not important though. It’s just a random and ordinary jacket you can get anywhere in order to hide your identity. Of course the person wouldn’t appear in the clothes we know him or her. That would spoil everything for us. Moreover look, a lot of people have a jacket that looks similar, not only Eren does:

Chapter 53

…So the jacket itself doesn’t reveal anything…

Then who is the hooded figure? Now since I believe Levi is plotting with Hanji they were the ones who advised Historia and one of them is the hooded figure. If it were Eren, why would he visit Hisu being hooded since he visited her in his casual clothes many times before? We know they regularly meet and touch to trigger memories as Jean confirms it in chapter 70:

Chapter 70

 Levi and Hanji however are high ranked individuals who are not that close to Hisu, so it makes more sense to hide their identity. Nobody is suspicous when Eren visits Hisu since they are friends, Hanji and Levi on the other side...

I tend to think the hooded figure is Levi because the person looks small and second…

…Notice the hands. They’re inside the pockets. Levi is a person who puts his hands inside his pockets A LOT. More than any other character. Just observe a few pictures of him and you’ll see. If you’re too lazy to research yourself, I provided a few examples for you:

…There you have it…

I wouldn’t be surprised if Isayama put this little hint in here, since he always likes to put little hints every now and then.

The MPs and some others believe it’s Yelena, but I think that’s not true. If it were her, Isayama wouldn’t have presented us the right answer right away. And she is too tall. So nahh.

Chapter 108

Remember what the MPs said about the hooded figure:

“Someone must have informed the Queen. They told her the corps wanted to feed Zeke to her as soon as they could. But if she got pregnant, she wouldn’t have to become a titan until after she gave birth. Someone gave her that advice”

This implies that the hooded figure knew what the corps wanted early on and Levi is one of them, so he knew. But I believe just as Hanji and Eren he secretly didn’t agree forcing Historia to eat Zeke straight away (instead faking pregnancy to buy more time to think of other solutions), because he cares for Historia and prefers to leave the choice to her. The next scene proves that:

Chapter 112

Since to Levi Zeke is more suspicious than ever in this situation, Levi decides that it’s inevitable to get rid of him and to feed him now. But instead of insisting Historia to eat him instantly, Levi suggests a Jägerist to take on the temporary role. Because he wants to protect Historia and doesn’t want to put her in danger if it’s avoidable.

Also, him saying: “Then, if Historia’s prepared like she says she is, we’ll feed the titan to her next” implies that he is not pushing Historia, but instead leaves the final choice to her. This also matches with the advice of the hooded figure to wait until “birth”.

Furthermore this explains Historia’s gloomy mood because she knows that a horrible fate awaits her (and she is ready to take it) if they can’t think of another option very soon.

I know Levi says: “Once she gives birth in a few months” implying she is actually pregnant, but of course he can’t tell them that it’s fake therefore he’s lying.

…So what do you do after nine months when you’re faking pregnancy, but there is no child? That’s not that hard. A miscarriage or a dead born baby happens occasionally. It wouldn’t be suspicious to state that as excuse when no child exists. If you do it in a clever way, it’s not a problem.

The real problem is what to do afterwards if you don’t have a new plan? I mean that’s the situation right now, they haven’t come up with anything yet…

But since we now know that Zeke’s secret plan was fake all the way, the whole thing doesn’t make any sense anymore anyways. Besides, Eren revealed his true intention in chapter 123, everything has changed since then.

It will influence a lot of story-lines. I cannot wait to read what happens next.

THANK YOU FOR READING THIS LOOOOOONG ANALYSYS! ♥

I am aware that I still might be wrong because I cannot read Isayama’s mind and there is a lot of my own interpretation, but with this theory I just want to provide a different idea :)

Have a nice day and never forget to SHINZOU WO SASAGEYO!!!!

[shippyboi]

Kiddney patch Notes, as a treat.

I know i haven't posted any of my writings in like, ages, but i was looking over my Kiddney patch notes. Basically me and @shikkearu (my bestest finnish lady in a box) were talking about Kiddney and she oh so graciously gave me these that i was talking of.

Quickly before i paste it.

-A few characters mentioned are like fill in ocs/side jokes

-Its an AU. Set in modern day Finland. Thanks.

-since this is a conversation thats why its formatted like this.

Enjoy lads

Kiddney

- Idiots love each other but are like "buh buh age gap"

-"why would she want a little boy :("

-"who wants an old lady :("

-bickering every chance they get

-kidd bumming in her restaurant atleast 3 days out of the week

Kiddney

-Bonney acts like she's in her forties compared to Kidd because she doesn't understand that just because she met him in highschool when she was a young adult and gained a crush on him as an adult isn't predatory

-Kidd has wanted to bang since he met her at 17

-Kidd was probably an orphan that got out of the orphanage at 18 and that explains some of his flaming anger issues

Also the first one looks bad, when he was an adult she wasn't perving on him as a kid

-Kidd has been told throughout his life he'd be a woman beater and it scares him that he has real feelings for someone

-Bonney tries to act like she hates him but it backfires all the time (especially when she gets drunk which is a lot.)

-Idea that we could use; Bonney might have like a binge eating disorder (or possible bulimia considering she eats a lot all at once) that we could reveal slowly

-Bonney's parents are really traditional and she feels bad that she doesn't wanna get married (kidd eventually just makes them rings and they wear them.)

-Kidd is very territorial (this is in ways like watching his friends get hurt, telling all his friends s.o. s not to hurt them or else, and getting pissy when a male breathes in Bonney's direction.)

-Kidd knows it's wrong but he can't find out how to stop. He just is really close to all of them and he can't stand the thought of any of them getting hurt

- Kidd is a manly mans man and he is proud. He makes weapons out of everything and breaking into his house would be like breaking into a military base

-Bonney is pretty tomboyish and has a hard time meshing with girls (one reason she really wants to become Perona's friend.)

-Her personality is really brash and all

-infact both of theres is

-Bonney always feels bad for being mean to him but since she feels like a creep for her feelings she doesn't know what to do

-Bonney is prideful, so is Kidd. If you doubt her at all she'll mcfreaking wreck you by doing so damn good

-Bonney consults Hawkins a lit since they are the same age but in two different levels of maturity

-Side note: Basil loves all his friends and is ready to be all of their big brother. 

-Kidd and her eventually at the same time pull a 'fuck it i can't deal with this anymore.' And it goes like this

-'i love you!'

-'i love you!'

-

-

- 'u sure'

- 'ye'

-Kidd and Bonney actually end up hunting and fishing together

-They have probably made out in a deer stand

-They have a place to smoke meats and boy do they

-Kidd will eat straight off his knife

-Bonney really likes his house. Its unique and very outdoorsy

-kidd's crew could be his orphanage mates, especially like Killer

-Kidd is a mix between goth bf and country bf and that's really sexy of him

-Bonney's parents probably hate him

-Kidd definitely has silently loathed Law from the start

-Kidd has probably been arrested at least once

-Bonney learned to cook from her aunt

-Bonney is constantly angry that people she cooking as a girls only thing

-"DON'T LOOK AT ME I'M STRESS COOKING *Tastes* NOT ENOUGH S A L T"

-Bonney is a power bottom not up for discussion

-A lot of people think Bonney's a lesbian

-Kidd really loves Bonney's cooking and that's his guise to bum at her restaurant

-Kidd can actually cook pretty well and has got up to make her breaky and its cute

-Angry sex? Happens more than you think

-They are both ticking time bombs

-not towards each other to everyone else

That's everything that hit me. I'll wait a bit for extra bits

-kidd definitely goes and checks on the kids he left behind. He's big bro

-Bonney lived close to hicktown 👀 (oh my god, what if her mom is hicklady.)

My mind won't stop on kidd.

Imagine this. 16 year old Kidd. Went fishing  and brought back a bunch of fish. Gets told to throw them out. Tells them to bite his ass and goes into a secluded spot to make a fire and cooks the fish and then younger kids come out hungry and he feeds them the whole time having a "iim so damn done" Look on his face.

I gotta document it now before i forget lol

Kidd probably is salty at religion like; where were my damn parents and why did i get to watch all my friends leave. Why did i have to deal with the shitty adults who looked after us >:(

We get to develop hick lady. Bonney isn't religious in my eyes but she knows how to fake it

Kidd's parents probably dropped him off on the orphanage steps. Then he got neglected by the caretakers then the people he made friends with got adopted. His family are the younger kids that never got adopted as he grew up and eventually left. He still checks on em.

Kidd lives out in the boonies so he can weld in peace. He is the only welder prolly in the area (also prolly has some skill as an electrician.) So he makes good money. He might be with a company as well but idk how to set that up. 

It's sorta like Armstrong's house placement.

His house is kinda small. One bedroom one bath, stone floors. A fireplace. And basic appliances. And he only has one door for the outside so cold doesn't creep in. The rest are curtains to his rooms. He uses his fireplace and space heaters. Has a king size bed to cry alone in. And lights. His living room is pretty big. His kitchen is average. He definitely has hung up deer heads and prolly stuffed ducks he killed. He probably has a hunting dog that lives inside with him. Its a lot of gray and brown. He has a bear skin rug and he's proud of it.

He's got himself a place outside so he can smoke meats. And a furnace and anvil and all that in a building right next to his smoke house. It's all connected. A wooden porch he built. He probably has a lake in his backyard.

Like i'm thinking he bought a shitty house and a chunk of land and spent a fortune making it how he likes it. Which took a long time.

Bonney probably has a small apartment close to her restaurant. She has to spend a lot of money on rent and pay. But it's a pretty popular place. She's a good ol chef of course. Again she lived in hicktown and moved to the big city ™.

She rarely talks to her parents (i think her dad planted an image of a woman in her head and it made her bulimic.)

And even though Bonney is pretty and such she has major self confidence issues. Because her dad and her mom just let it happen. But she sees them on holidays coz her other family is there. And the only one who doesn't judge kidd hard at first glance is her aunt. Family holidays are drudges for both of them

Lets develop hick lady holidays will always be fun.

I guess she sorta looks like old ass lady Bonney and her dad is op background character 7

Also; Kidd has two dogs. A fully inside dog that's a small little basset hound and then his hunting dog which is a curr. He loves them both

Also they prolly stay like a week- three days on big holidays and hick lady is like "You aren't sleeping in the same room."

Kidd: look lady i've been trying to get to this status for years fuck you

I wanna name her dad James so his family calls him JJ and Kidd's like "What grown man goes by jj" And Bonney's like "just look away."

I think we have a solid plot to start with. And i got the lore pretty well.

The plot is basically~

Kidd and Bonney have a mutual crush on each other but both don't realize and have some perceptions that aren't true (Kidd scared of love coz of what he's been told, thinking he's too immature, Bonney thinking she is too old, not thinking she is a 'real' girl.). They are kinda aggressive to each other (especially bonney) to try and ward their emotions off. Until they eventually both just crack and are shook ™

And we got lil side things. Anger issues. Her eating disorder. His mommy and daddy issues. Her family problems ect.

Hannah

Ina

Connie

Kayla

Lois

Annie

Daisy

Yennifer