#like sex doesn’t really seem desirable anymore marriage could become a trap

[cmc-things]

Got about 3 hours of sleep last night and feeling awesome 👍

[multiplefandomsblog]

request; Shuichi and his fem!s/o take each other virginity?

pairing(s); shuichi x AFAB! reader

warnings; post-game saihara, saihara has some PTSD from the killing game but it is not heavily mentioned, cussing AFAB! reader, soft dom! Shuichi, vanilla-ish, intense kissing, mention of marriage, hurt/comfort-ish?, angst-ish?, petty arguments, sexual frustration, they both losing their v-card, shuichi picks you up, shuichi reads porn mags but not elaborated here, established relationship, they've been dating 6 months btw, they're living together, cyring, begging, accidental overstimulation, self-indulgent, irresponsible and unprotected sex(always wrap it before you tap it you fucking idiots), unedited but used spellcheck. OKAY I KNOW 6 MONTHS IS REALLY SHORT AND I HAD A DIFFERENT IDEA IN MIND BUT I JUST DBHSBJHSBD IM SORRY THIS IS JUST SUPER MESSY

note; i rushed the end and this is kind of garbage(god please don't read this), but here's a few songs that i listened to while writing this;

505 - Arctic Monkeys & Cute Panties Soaked In Arizona Iced Tea - Sewer//Slvt & a bunch others idk

wc; 5.8k+

You both dabbled in the idea of having sex, having shared mutual trust and desire for each other within the early stages of your love-filled relationship.

Even so, the obvious statements were left unsaid, and the obvious desire you both have for each other’s bodies had been left alone, never to be picked up again.

Now don’t underestimate yourself, there would be some not-so-rare make-out sessions when you both got into the mood and made sure to give each other ‘the look’, but they’d always end in Shuichi stiffening up and asking if you’d like to stop.

And like an idiot, you had always said the same goddamn thing, the opposite of what you wanted to say. “Sure, y- yeah.” Always praying he wouldn’t hear the disappointment in your voice. You didn’t want him to be upset that you wanted to continue, because wouldn’t that just be selfish of you?

Your prayers always seemed to be answered anyway, though mostly carried by Shuichi’s helplessly obvious nature; he ate it all up.

But maybe you should’ve been praying for the opposite because otherwise, you wouldn’t be here right now.

Maybe it was the stress from the fact that Shuichi’s boss yelled at him today, maybe it was from the fact that he had one of his colleagues accidentally file one of the most important cases, improperly, maybe it was because you both hadn’t fucked in 6 months.

Well, whatever it was, it had Shuichi fuming.

“This? Again?” Shuichi sighed in an attempt to calm himself, his face lacking the patience it usually held.

“What do you mean ‘again’!? I’ve told you this, tons of times before!” To be fair, you had no idea why you had been so angry either, but before you could even think or hold yourself back, random arguments you truly never cared about had been brought up.

What the hell were you two even fighting about?

Despite your mind screaming at you to stop, your mouth continued to act first. “God, why don’t you ever listen to me? You know, sometimes it seriously just feels like I’m talking to a brick wall when I talk to you.” That wasn’t true.

“Is that right?” He didn’t know what came over him. “Well, if we’re talking about our talking habits, I think you sometimes talk too much; it’s hard to keep track of what you’re saying sometimes, and it just- it brings me a headache…!” That wasn’t true either; he was a detective, he listened to every single detail you spoke out from those beautiful lips. Shuichi would listen as intently as he would during an investigation as he gathered information from perps.

But you didn’t know that. You had been too busy reeling from his previous statement to remember all the nice moments you had before this. His words felt like acid on your palpitating heart. Did you talk that much?

You gulped, lip trembling without your consent. “Y- yeah?”

No, I didn’t mean any of it. Please don’t look at me like that. “... Yeah.” Shuichi averted his eyes as he lied for no good reason.

You nodded in feigned indifference, chewing the inside of your cheek as you attempted to walk past him and outside the kitchen — to which he immediately stopped you, an urgency laced within his actions. Sudden anxiety wracked his body, and images of the previous executions flashed in his mind.

You couldn’t go.

With his eyes wide in a slight panic, they narrowed back to their normal width as he took a deep breath, pulling you towards him and suddenly pushing his lips on yours. “Shu-” he blanketed any open space for noise to escape through with his lips, kissing you with desperation you’ve never witnessed firsthand.

Despite your internal concern for him, your hands slipped up his shoulders to the back of his neck, pushing him closer to you than he already was on instinct.

Okay… This was okay. It was better than fighting, that was for sure.

You were confused by the sudden display of physician affection, but you could only get a little of you to care; you missed him. It had only been 5 minutes into the fight, yet you had been pulling him close like you hadn’t seen him in a year. Luckily for both you and him, he missed you too. He didn’t like fights. Especially not meaningless ones like these.

You both didn’t know how, nor when, but before you knew it, you had been sitting atop the kitchen counter, legs wrapped tightly around Shuichi’s waist as his hands gripped yours. A familiar, heavy feeling of arousal pooled up at your stomach, remaining there like an itch you knew only Shuichi could scratch. Shuichi was comfortably close for you to somewhat feel his phone poke at your thigh, but even so, not close enough. Clothes started to feel restricting, and you both shared the same need to just tear them off, but

—

“S/o,” he muffled on your lips, trying his best to try and pull away from your captivating lips on his, though it was incredibly hard with those velvety lips of yours.

“S/o!” The bad feeling in his stomach grew, and he suddenly realized it had been because he didn’t want such a special moment for the two of you, to be spoiled by a petty fight neither of you would remember in a few days. He didn’t want your shared story to be an argument that leads to sex. Call him a hopeless romantic but, that simply didn’t sit right with him.

Shuichi pulled away abruptly, apologizing under his breath as he avoided eye contact with a slightly puzzled you. “I…” He started nervously, gently nestling his forehead atop your beating heart in an attempt to self-soothe himself.

"I don’t want us to finally, um, do... This out of- of anger and- S/o, you have to know that I love you so much and that I-” That wasn’t what he meant to say, it didn’t come out right, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t think of what he had originally planned to say. His mind was jumbled, words weren’t good enough for him anymore. Shuichi began to prick small unwanted tears at the corner of his eyes as he rambled with sincere intention.

“I don’t want to look back at this day and- Or what if you regr-”

You shook your head frantically before he could finish his sentence, gentle fingertips tapping the underside of his head as you urged him to look into your eyes. You sighed fondly as you swam in those pools of liquid gold, a small, assuring smile contorting onto your face.

“It’s okay, I know, I know you didn’t mean it.” You took another breath as you continued, a deeper inhale. “And I know what you mean but, Shuichi I… No matter what, I could never regret a single thing with you,” His hands tightened around you.

“And frankly, it doesn’t matter how we ended up… Doing this with each other.” It was kind of funny how you both couldn't say the word 'sex'. A three-letter word that may have seemed terrifying to the two of you back then, started to gradually lose its intimidation factor.

“Because as long as you love me, and I love you, that’s all that will matter.” You lightly laughed at how sappy you sounded; wondering if you’d be this romantic when reciting your vows.

You two weren't even married.

But Shuichi would be lying through his teeth if he said he hadn't visualized you in a veil; and wow, did you look amazing.

Shuichi paused, gazing up at you with intense affection, and love for you. You could feel your cheeks heat up from how intently he gazed at you, you couldn't help but slightly shrink underneath his gaze.

Without missing another beat, Shuichi suddenly broke the gaze, and wrapped his arms underneath your bottom, picking you up with a concealed struggle. He'd have thought spending most of his time typing in that office, would give him some sort of arm strength.

Well, you'd find out later, wouldn't you?

Making his way to the bedroom carefully, Shuichi gently set you down on your back, trapping you in between his arms and locking his lips back onto yours soft and slowly, unlike his last pecks.

You could feel your heart rate speed up as he started to run his hand underneath the thin material of your top, and despite the rising anxiousness itching at you, the feeling of love and anticipation easily overpowered the feeling — though not completely.

For a split second, Shuichi pulled away to pull your shirt up and over your head, and the moment his loving, eager golden eyes found their way back to you, he swore he almost suffered a cardiac arrest on the spot.

With your hands resting beside your head, lips swollen and exposed chest heaving; he thought you looked like the most stunning human being that had ever graced this earth.

And he wasted no time showing you how he felt.

Quickly stripping himself of his shirt, you watched in slight amusement as he struggled to throw the material across his room, his eagerness becoming his enemy. He felt the mattress slightly dip and inflate, though he couldn't see anything as his vision was obstructed. Shuichi — despite having a feeling you had sat up and was probably going to help — didn't want to submit into his embarrassment just yet. He could take off his shirts, and he was going to prove it-

His eyes clenched shut in frustration, suddenly shot open as he felt a cool breeze hit his warm face, as well as the sound of quiet laughter.

"C- come on, don't laugh...!" Shuichi complained half-heartedly.

You grinned. "Sorry, sorry," You raised your hands in defence, taken by surprise as

Shuichi pinned the same hands back onto the bed, playfully pecking your face all over before moving down the valley of your neck and collarbone.

You did your absolute best to not laugh as Shuichi had told you to, but you couldn't prevent the huge, goofy smile that broke out on your face. The euphoria of having someone you truly love and trust, showering you with affection, combined with the ticklish feeling of his slightly chapped lips on your neck, had caused you to giggle.

"Is it- Is it really that funny?" Shuichi grumbled, kisses turning into gentle bites as he wanted to get you to make noises that weren't giggles; not that he didn't adore the sound.

Just not in this situation, nor position.

"It's not, I-" You snorted, "I promise! I just, I feel really, really happy right now." You admitted in between laughter.

You felt Shuichi pause against your neck, and your laughter died down as you wondered if you did something wrong.

"Shuichi-?" You squeaked as you felt his warm breath and kisses travel quickly towards your stomach, right above where you wanted it most. You could feel your face heat up, as well as your core, from the mere puff of air.

Your excitement slowly turned to dread as you felt his hands slowly slide down to the waistband of your pants, and without realizing it, you stiffened up. You felt slightly guilty of your reaction; you wanted this, right? You were so excited a moment ago, where did it go? The logical part of you didn't seem to want to chime in and say, 'It's a natural reaction!'

So you settled for chewing your lip in an attempt to distract yourself from the heart-wrenching guilt.

The action hadn't gone unnoticed by Shuichi; he knew that habit all too well. It was a nervous habit, quite often in many people, but it always seemed to drive Shuichi crazy when you did it. He never noticed when others did, as he was constantly too busy staring straight at you like a boy with a hopeless crush.

But look at him now.

Shuichi from 6 months ago probably wouldn't believe the Post-Shuichi, that he had got the chance to be your boyfriend, let alone share such an intimate moment with someone as special as you.

"Hey, look at me," He grinned gently as he caught your attention.

"It's... It's just me here. You don't have to worry, or be nervous because I'm right here, and I... I'll love you no matter what." It was hypocritical to say, as his hands had practically been quivering beyond his control, but he spoke the sincere truth for you.

He watched in slight anxiousness as you stayed in silent, stunned shock. Shuichi started wondering if he should've said something else-

"O- Okay, yeah, you can- You can, um." You didn't mean to sound so awkward, but you hoped the slight eagerness laced in your voice made the message clear enough for him.

Shuichi slipped his thumbs underneath the waistband of your pants, golden eyes focused entirely on your face as to detect any discomfort.

Seeing none, he slipped the rest of it off, growing excited yet also nervous as he saw you for the first time. "You're soaked..." He uttered underneath his breath in stunned awe, unwillingly causing you to jerk your legs shut.

And who's fault is that!? You wanted to say that, but in the condition and position you were in right now, it didn't seem very possible nor ideal.

You let out a small whimper as you felt Shuichi gently encourage your legs back open, a small pout on his face as you hadn't given him enough time to savour the visual.

No words were said, and no words were needed as Shuichi communicated his wanton need for your pussy with nothing but his eyes. Captivated and persuaded by his puppy-dog eyes, you hesitantly opened your legs back up, silently gasping as you felt the cold air hit your glossy folds yet again.

Your momentary shock faltered into embarrassed confusion as you caught Shuichi staring at it with a thoughtful gaze. It was strange; you felt like an animal at the zoo up for display to just... Stare at.

But perhaps the most embarrassing thing about the whole thing was the stars in his eyes as he watched you twitch and shudder. “Sh- Shuichi.” You tried to snap him out of his gaze, face growing hotter and hotter as time passed by with him continuing to stare at your impatient pussy.

“I’m just going to… Put one in.”

If there was anything Shuichi had learned from the numerous articles on how to please your partner during sex, is to always prep them.

“Wait, huh-?"

His finger sunk in easily, prodding finger slipping into a pillowy bundle of nerves; it was like heaven on earth for Shuichi, and he wanted to make sure it felt the same for you.

"Hah- Nnnn!”

Your loud moan snapped him out of his trance, and unfortunately, he had reacted a moment too late as his finger had already been knuckle deep.

Experiencing a mini panic attack, guilt overwhelmed his body, and he moved to pull out, only to be caught by surprise as you caught his wrist right before he could.

"N- No...! It's- It's okay, mmngh- Just- just feels good, is all." You were glad you hadn't lost the complete ability to speak yet; because that'd surely be humiliating, wouldn't it?

Shuichi tensed his hand unintentionally, causing you to jolt slightly as you could feel every single movement. Shuichi's eyes widened in realization and guilt at your sudden reaction.

"A-Ah, sorry! I didn't mean to-" He cut himself off, head tilting as you moaned a little too loud for your taste — but not loud enough for his.

Shuichi shifted himself, so his face was hovering over your blissed-out one, slight confusion taking over your features as he seemed to be watching you carefully, almost as if he was expecting something —

With a sharp inhale, you felt your hole swallow in another finger, the pleasure now doubled up. If this is what fingering felt like... Then you'd have to assume the main course felt 5x as good as this, right?

Your hands shot up to his shoulders to dig your nails into, the pleasure finally becoming too much as he started experimentally moving in and out slowly.

Shuichi would've asked, 'Is this okay?' but judging by your moans and pleas for more, he concludes he has his answer.

Running his thumb down your folds, Shuichi decided he would explore your pussy as he continued his slow thrusts in your clenching hole — and what better way to do that than to accidentally brush his fingers against your clit?

You nearly sobbed, climax rising alarmingly close, before dropping as Shuichi continued with his exploration.

"Shuichi! T- There! Right there! Please!" You repeated like a mad man, nearly jolting up if it wasn't for Shuichi's body that loomed over you.

With a confused, but obedient nod of his head, Shuichi tested the waters yet again, eyebrows furrowing as he pressed around in random spots. "Ah!" His eyes widened in slight achievement as he watched you start to violently spazz out the moment he pressed onto a button-like nerve.

"C- Coming, I'm- I'm comin- Ahnn!" Shuichi began roughly circling his thumb over the bundle of nerves, unknown of how sensitive the nerve was, and unknowingly forcing you into overstimulation.

"Sh- Ah- W- Wait!" You stammered, squirming away from his unrelenting hand, unsure as to why it had felt as strong as it felt. "Wait, please!" Shuichi suddenly pulled away from your clit, panic taking over his body yet again as he carefully picked you up and slipped you onto his lap.

"I- I'm sorry...! I didn't... Are you- Are you okay?" He stuttered, eyes wide with concern.

Had he gone too far? Was he missing something? Maybe there was a spot you didn't like?

You shook your head, doing little to assure the rising storm of worry you knew Shuichi would accumulate.

"I- I'm okay, it felt good. I think you just overstimulated me a bit but," You brought your arms around his neck, scooching your partially numb ass over his erection.

"... Not like I didn't like it." You grinned lopsidedly, leaning up to capture his lips into a passionate kiss, one filled to the brim with ever-lasting passion. He wasted no time to reciprocate, face slightly reddening as he groaned from the slightest pressure of your thigh pressing down against his erection.

"Sorry...-" Shuichi slipped in an apology, before quickly being sent back into the depths of your touch.

"Don't be-" You countered, letting one of your hands run down the crevices and nooks of his scrawny chest and stomach, down to trace his faint V-line.

"Mm-" An unplanned moan slipped out, and the blush on his cheeks worsened. He was sensitive, and that was to be expected for a first-timer. Though Shuichi refused to believe it was his sensitivity, but your soft touch.

Jolts of pleasure shot up his spine, and his pants only grew tighter, to the point where his brain was screaming at him to take them off.

Lucky for him, you complied without another thought.

You broke the kiss, resting your forehead against his chest as you hunched over to unbuckle his pants. The breathy and beautiful sounds of Shuichi panting like a dog-in-heat above you only made your fingers work faster. The sound of his zipper being pulled down hit his ears, and his eyes clenched tight shut as he felt a curious hand fiddle with his boxers.

"Can I...?"

He nodded frantically, an adorable eagerness overtaking control of his actions.

As you slipped your hand into the binds of his grey-scale boxers, you weren't sure what you were going to see, or how he would feel once you got your hands on his stiff length.

Shuichi wasn't sure what he was expecting either, but expectations didn't matter when you were with each other, right?

"H- Hnnnn...!"

Well, even so, he sure as hell wasn't expecting his strained whine he let out the moment your hand coiled around the base of his cock. With his whine unintentionally egging you on, you decided to pull it out all the way, curious to see him.

God, if you were to laugh now, he'd probably die.

The truth was, you weren’t sure if you could physically laugh, nor breathe…. Or even speak for that matter. He rendered you speechless, and as he tried to read your expression, he found himself praying the silence was a good thing. Though before the thick, lust-filled air could suffocate you both, you decided to voice your thoughts.

“W- Will that fit…?” Your face was probably as hot as a pizza pocket fresh out of the oven.

Now, you weren’t sure what a real dick looked like; you hadn’t seen one in real life before, so maybe it was average in dick sizes, but you couldn’t help but shudder from uncontrollable excitement combined with the fear of that thing tearing into you.

Shuichi noticed the look of fear on your face, and his instinct kicked in; nervosity and anxiety went as he focused on your needs instead, something he’d always done, to an almost unhealthy point.

You let yourself fall back onto the mattress yet again, your head that had been lost in its own thoughts, hitting the plush pillows as Shuichi softly guided you comfortably down. It seemed only now did you realize you were completely bare to Shuichi, head to toe, naked. What a convenient time.

Shuichi’s T-Shirt struggles couldn’t distract you now, and so there you sat, avoiding eye contact with the worried boy as you shrunk further into yourself. You were ready, you repeated to yourself. But perhaps your true fear had been, was he ready for you?

His voice broke the upsetting silence, and out came the words you didn’t want to hear. “If you’re having doubts, we don’t have to do this today, or ever, for that matter.” Shuichi was so close to you, you could practically hear the sound of his little heart beating unevenly. Your hand subconsciously lifted and set itself on his chest to try and feel the small hum and vibration of his heart, and for a second you almost forgot what he had asked.

“I… Shuichi, I want this but,” You weren’t sure how to explain, and a part of you wished he could just read your mind and tell you exactly what you wanted to hear. But relationships weren’t that easy.

“I… What if I dissatisfy you? Like, what if I’m too small, or too loose, or- or what if how I look impacts the experience; are you sure you want to have your very first time with someone like me? Like-” Shuichi cut you off with his lips, the desire for you to stop talking about things that would never happen, as well as the desire to kiss you, combining into this moment.

The man wore an expression of pure earnestness; the confidence he had almost scared you. “I love you so much, and none of that matters to me. I promise you, none of that will ever happen.” His voice was heartbreakingly sincere, to the point where you felt guilty for doubting him.

He, honest to god, understood how you felt completely. Shuichi was afraid he would cum too early, or if he wasn’t long enough, or girthy enough- He was terrified of ruining your first experience with him, he just didn’t want to look the emotion because he was afraid diffidence wasn’t sexy.

Maybe it was ridiculous, but to be fair, your assumption of yourself dissatisfying him was even more so.

Not trusting your own voice to speak, you simply averted your eyes and nodded, exhaling slowly as you tried to push your doubts away. Shuichi followed your gaze, using a gentle hand to tilt your head back to face him, wanting you to look at him as he finally puts it in.

“I’ll go… really slow, okay? Tell me if you want me to stop, okay baby?” You went beet red at the new pet name, but before you could counter his sneaky remark, your voice and breath were stolen from you as you felt something warm throb at your entrance. Was that his —

“Sh- Shit...!” You hissed, eyes clenching tightly shut to conceal the small tears prickling at the corners of your eyes. You were right, it was going to hurt.

Shuichi had only slipped in the tip of his cock, marvelling at how easily it sunk in at fault to your slick. He bit back several low moans that threatened to spill out of his mouth, God, you felt so warm inside. Perhaps it was a gross thought, but Shuichi hadn’t exactly been thinking anymore, eyes clouded and nearly crossed from the intense, foreign but pleasing feeling.

“H- How does It feel this good…?” He slipped quietly to himself, eyes lidded as he lost himself in your embrace.

Gulping harshly, he stilled his hips and tore his eyes away from your walls that hugged him so snugly, shifting his attention instead to your pained expression. With a hushed and strained voice, Shuichi voiced several shy but sincere praises and assurances.

His bony hands travelled up from your hips, to lace your hands, fingers shakily lacing your fingers together. Shuichi found himself sighing in relief as he could feel your stiffness slipping away, squeezing your hand as a reminder that he was proud of you for it.

“Do you want me to move?” Shuichi asked, worried eyes darting to your concealed ones.

You pursed your lips, hesitating to shake your head no. You knew they couldn’t stay like that forever — Well, Shuichi probably would’ve if you told him to, but you couldn’t do that to him. Then again, you were still trying to get used to the painful yet filling intrusion in between your legs.

You were on a mental crossroad, unsure of what to say in response to such a simple question. And great, now you left him too long without a reply; the poor guy was just laying there. You could hear your brain screaming at you to just say something! Just fucking say something-!

Shuichi noticed your slight discomforted expression, as well as feeling you tense underneath him. A light bulb went off in his head as he thought of a way to make it all better, and he opened his mouth to speak once again.

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay, just um… Just trust me, okay?” You felt him squeeze your hands again, to which you squeezed back, voice caught in your throat.

You trusted him, of course, you did. What if he didn't know how much you trusted him? You would put your entire life in his hands, you would jump off a cliff if he told you it was safe.

Your lifeline spoke up again, "Take a deep breath and then exhale at three. R- Ready?"

You nodded, taking the deepest breath you could.

"One," Shuichi whispered.

"Two," You felt your shoulders relaxing.

"Three." As soon as your entire body sunk into the sheets, relaxing completely, he sunk the rest of his length inside you, pushing harshly against your hands pinned on the bed for leverage. Shuichi had been holding his breath as to not moan too loud, despite the foreign feeling, it almost felt like it was meant to be like this. Would it be cheesy if he thought fucking you was his destiny?

You gasped sharply, eyes shooting open as your jaw dropped, silent screams escaping your mouth as your back arched into him.

"Ah- Ah!" Your strained moans grew louder as the stretch finally registered within you. A bead of sweat formed on your forehead as you squeezed his hands tightly, wanting to pull him closer.

Shuichi didn't say anything, biting down on his lip and nearly drawing blood as he bottomed out, his balls clapping gently on the tender skin of your ass.

You couldn't help but whine uncontrollably the feeling being too much. You could feel everything. The small curve of his perfect cock, the feeling of his tip pulsating into your walls and every goddamn accidental shift of his Shuichi’s hips.

With his hips pressed as close as they could be against yours, you had no choice but to wrap your legs around his waist, heels bumping against his tail bone as you did such.

Everything seemed to slow after a couple of seconds filled with breathy silence, your heart rate slowing down as well. The stretch remained, but the pain slowly melted away with every exhale you took, pleasure and need overtaking it instead. “Sh- Shuichi.” After hearing your voice so brittle, Shuichi lifted his head from your shoulder in urgency and concern. “Y- Yeah? D- Don’t worry, I won’t move until y-”

“N- No, you can- You can move, it- I want it.” You stammered over your words, suddenly shy as you pleaded for him. It was embarrassing to be begging for something so lewd, but you’d soon learn that embarrassment wasn’t valid when you were screaming your lungs out.

You’d wonder why you were both suddenly so timid with each other, treating each other like fragile glass that could break if you arose your voice too high.

Nodding uncertainly at your words, Shuichi gave your hands one last reassuring squeeze unsure if he had done that to assure you or him.

With a shaky inhale, Shuichi tested the waters by rolling his hips against yours gently. Worrying whether he was doing it right, as well as worrying if he hurt you. Though he’d be lying if the worry didn’t somewhat slip his mind the moment he felt that nearly irresistible wave of bliss wash over his body. Not wanting the feeling to stop, Shuichi decided he’d do it again, causing you to moan louder than the first time.

He couldn’t help but feel something strike his heart, and before he knew it, he was thrusting harder, more, aiming in different directions to get you to moan louder.

“Hah!” It was a foreign feeling, but that didn’t necessarily mean it was a bad thing. You could feel your heart pulsating, a thin layer of sweat cultivating on your skin and his, and most of all you could feel Shuichi moving inside you. Every inch of him rubbed against your walls, and all of it just felt so fucking addicting.

“S/o!” His call for your name had lost itself in the sea of your moans as well as his own.

You could only reply in rickety moans, body bouncing as each thrust he granted upon you pushed your head closer to the headboard; the only thing keeping you as close as you were to Shuichi, being your connected hands.

“Sh- Shuichi, fuck!” You couldn’t even remember your name anymore, the name of your lover rolling off your tongue a couple of hundred times as your eyes rolled into the back of your skull, his hard pace driving you to insanity. You couldn’t even recognize yourself anymore, moans that escaped your lips sounded so pornographic you couldn’t possibly assume those were yours.

Shuichi on the other hand had been moaning and grunting like he was in pain; the way your walls clenched around him had brought him closer and closer to his high, but he didn’t want to cum just yet. He wanted to get that sweet spot.

It was so incredibly gratifying every time you called out his name; maybe not-so for the neighbours, but he couldn’t help but feel slightly smug as his neighbours would’ve known that it was — “Shuichi!” — who had been making you wail and moan like that.

Your uncertainty and discomfort from earlier disappeared into thin air, forgotten forever as you lost yourself in this new feeling of being plowed like a cornfield.

Finally finding the energy and courage to pry open your tear-filled eyes, your jaw remained slack, mouth blubbering out nonsense and ‘I love you’s as you made eye contact with Shuichi.

You felt your heart stutter and stop a moment as you saw how pretty he looked at that moment. With his facial expression contorting into one of pure pleasure, and a thin layer of sweat making his skin almost seem like it was glowing, combined with the loving look in his eyes; it was all too much, and before you knew it, you made your own lewd expression as you felt a foreign knot suddenly build up and untie in your stomach just as quick.

With stuttered, pathetic attempts at pleading his name, you attempted to get his attention as you had been slightly afraid of what was building up inside you. “Sh- Shu- Some- Something’s- Mmnhah!” You sobbed out, jaw going slack as screams poured out from your throat.

Shuichi’s eyes widened just a fraction as he realized what was happening, slowing his hips before suddenly going faster than before, grunting as he brought himself back to his high. “It’s- It’s okay baby, just let go- Urk—!” Shuichi wheezed as he felt your trembling vaginal walls clamp onto his throbbing length, feeling as if he had just gotten the air punched out of him. Well, you were only following his order.

Hunching over you, he squeezed your hands as he rolled his hips one last time, slow and deep, causing you to elicit a louder scream from the spot he hit. He had to suppress a thankful smile; there it was. He began to dig his glans especially hard into that spot, causing you to sob and squirm from the intense pleasure he had been putting onto you. “S- So good- I- I can’t-” You stammered, mind fuzzy and misfunctioning as your orgasm had been concentrated by Shuichi’s bold action.

You wondered if this was his first time; he seemed so experience like he knew all the right spots to press and prod at.

When really, he just read way too many porn mags.

Shuichi’s breath hitched as he felt his cock twitch, not long after the mini action, he had finally released inside you, going slack over your body as he nearly cried into your shoulder from how good it felt. Desperate and shaky moans and groans spilled from the binds of his thin lips, and no matter how hard he tried to dig himself into your neck, the moans remained loud.

Time seemed to slow down, Shuichi had gone flaccid inside you and quiet as he tried to catch his breath. Despite the lower half of your body still incredibly sensitive and numb, you managed to switch your positions, shifting him, so he was laying on his side instead of you.

He let himself be cradled by you, sweaty skin sticking together in an uncomfortably comfortable way. It was warm.

“... God, we should’ve done that months ago.” You half-joked, voice gravelly.

Shuichi groaned in response, wincing as he pulled out slowly.

“I don’t think I.. regret waiting.” Shuichi truthfully spoke, smiling a lopsided grin.

“Because it made this moment more special… right?” He hoped he wasn’t the only one to think so.

You nodded, eyes eventually drifting shut. “Yeah… You’re right, you’re.. always right.”

[iamakiller]

heartless

Wordcount: 2400

Warnings: Murder. Violence.  Infidelity.  Divorce.  Reference to past abuse.

Notes:  They say that every tale has three different versions.  Mine, yours, and the truth.

This is the story of the death of a marriage, and what came after.

Henry is one.  

His first word is “Dada”, followed closely by “Mama”, so Nicole can’t sulk for too long.

These days, he sleeps through the night more often than not.  Some semblance of normality has finally fallen over the Barber household, after their rather chaotic beginning.  It is ... nice.

Nicole’s figure has almost reverted back to how it was before.  When Charlie reaches for her, she does not deny him. Her body is warm and welcoming, just as he remembers.

Now, if he stays out late sometimes, it is only to walk and think.  His blades are gathering dust.  He has remained faithful for over a year.

He cannot remember the last time he felt lonely.

Everything is perfect.

***

Henry is two.

Every other word out of his mouth is “No”.  He is irrational, defiant, and wonderful.

Nicole mentions L.A. once or twice in passing, but Charlie dismisses it as a fleeting fancy.  His career is going well, and New York is his home.

The attraction between them is still utterly magnetic.  Charlie recognizes every inch of her body almost as well as his own. The taste of her spit, her sweat, her cum are all imprinted on his mind indelibly. The feel of her flesh under his hands is familiar and satisfying, and he cannot seem to get enough of it, even after several years of marriage.

Perhaps it doesn’t matter that they never seem to talk.

Everything is good.

***

Henry is three.

His curiosity about the world around him is vast.  His capacity to ask questions is seemingly limitless, and often exhausting.

He also has no filter, which Charlie discovers to his utter mortification when Henry announces to the cashier at the supermarket checkout – and indeed to the entire queue, due to the volume of his innocent little voice - “My Daddy has a huge penis.”

Charlie claps his hand over Henry’s mouth, stammers his apologies, and retreats as soon as he has paid for his groceries.  But when he gets home and begins to unpack them, he notices that a phone number has been scribbled on the back of the receipt.  Interesting.

He puts it in his pocket.  Just in case.  It’s not like the cashier was extremely attractive.  It’s not like she looked at him in a way that Nicole hasn’t for a while now.  It’s not like he’s going to call her.

(But he does.  Of course, he does.)

Other than that, though …

Everything is fine.

***

Henry is four.

For some reason known only to him, he is going through a clingy phase.  He doesn’t want to go to day care anymore.  He only wants his Daddy.  He holds on to Charlie’s legs with a vice-like grip, and refuses to let go.  And Charlie cannot bring himself to force him.

So for two weeks, Henry becomes Charlie’s unofficial assistant director on his latest production.  If Charlie is seated, Henry is on his lap, face tucked against the crook of his shoulder.  If Charlie is standing, Henry is right beside him, holding onto his hand or the hem of his cardigan. When the more kindly members of the cast and crew try to engage with him, he peeks out at them from behind Charlie’s back, but as the days pass, he soon warms up to them, and soon everyone is quite distracted by his joyful presence.  He eats pizza for lunch every single day, and has all the paper and crayons that his heart could possibly desire.  When he’s tired, he naps on a makeshift bed of jackets in a quiet corner of the rehearsal space.  And finally, at the end of the second week, he asks Charlie when he’s going back to day care.

Nicole finds out about this little holiday after a phone call enquiring as to whether or not he’ll be attending the following week, and is furious. “You’re spoiling him!” she accuses, once Henry is in bed.  “He has to learn he can’t always get what he wants!”

He’s four, Charlie thinks. But also … The audacity!

Nicole grew up in the lap of luxury, with a father who gave her whatever she wanted, as she reminds him all too often when he denies her some outrageous request. She has no right to comment on anyone else being spoiled. When Charlie tells her as much, without any of his usual attempts to soften the harshness of his words, she reels away with a shocked look on her face, like his mother used to after his father struck her.

Suddenly, Charlie feels awful.  Like an utterly heartless bastard.  

He spends the rest of the evening apologizing.  The make up sex that occurs once she has forgiven him is so cathartic that afterwards, as they sprawl across the couch together, he finds himself telling her a few details about his past.  Not much, but more than he’s ever trusted anyone with before, except perhaps his dear cousin Pat.  

He wants her to understand him so badly.  She is his wife, after all.  The mother of his child.  His life partner. Til death do us part.

Nicole presses her lips together, and doesn’t say anything in response.  After a moment, she gets up, and goes to take a shower.

They never talk about it again.

Charlie openly embarks on a string of affairs, because why the hell not?  He dusts off his knives, and becomes the scourge of the city again.  Nicole doesn’t seem to notice that anything has changed.  Or maybe she just doesn’t care.

Everything is not okay.

***

Henry is five.

He is tall for his age, but not exceptionally so.  His report cards are full of praise for his positivity and kindness to others, though they do also mention how inattentive he is at times, especially when it comes to math.  He has a gaggle of girls who follow him around the playground with dazed expressions and starry eyes.  When Charlie asks him about them, Henry shrugs.  “They’re just my girlfriends,” he says.  Christ.

For the first time in his life, Charlie feels old. This is probably due to the permanent backache he has from sleeping on the couch on the nights he bothers to stay home.  Or maybe it’s because he’s acting like he’s still twenty-five, and fucking every woman who spares him a second glance.

His body count has increased exponentially of late.  Most of his victims won’t be missed, but enough of them are noticed that it draws NYPD’s attention, and he has to take a couple of weeks off to let it all blow over.

It works.  But everything else blows up.

Trapped in the apartment with Nicole, tensions rise, until finally his infidelities come to light.  In a hushed voice - so as not to wake Henry - she calls Charlie a narcissist, and a womanizer, and a drunk.

Charlie stands there and takes it stoically.  Just like he used to when he was younger, and it was his mother spitting venom at him.  The words wash over him, barely registering.  He doesn’t respond.

After a while, enraged by his lack of reaction, Nicole screws up her pretty face into a nasty sneer, and informs him that he’s a heartless bastard just like his father was. 

In spite of all he has done, it is a low blow to throw those secrets he trusted her with back at him like a weapon.  And it triggers him, like nothing she has ever said or done before.

Suddenly, he finds himself looming over her, with his fist raised, and the urge to strike almost overwhelming him.

But he is not like his father.  

He is not.  

HE IS NOT.

Biting back a howl of pain so as not to wake his sleeping son, he punches a hole in the wall next to her head instead.

Even though they have been trying to be quiet, the silence that comes next is deafening.

Charlie stares at the damaged wall.  At his hand.  At his wife.

As if in slow motion, he crumples to his hands and knees on the floor, and begins to sob.

For a moment, Nicole stares at him with her mouth open, and her eyes wide. Then she leaves the room.

That night, she packs a bag and leaves, taking Henry with her.

Charlie is alone again.

Everything is broken.

***

It ends, as it began, with a great deal of expense, more of an audience than Charlie is comfortable with, and the signing of several pieces of paper.

***

Henry is six.

According to Nicole, the teachers at his new school say he is doing very well.  Charlie speaks to him almost every day over Skype or on the phone, so there isn’t much about his life he doesn’t know, given Henry’s tendency to overshare.

But he misses the little things.  The boring, mundane activities he took for granted.  Helping with homework.  Reminding Henry to brush his teeth, and tuck his shirt in.  Quietly spending time together; Charlie absorbed in his writing, and Henry filling page after page with his colorful imaginings.  Charlie loves hearing about Henry’s life, he really does. But he misses living it with him.

Meanwhile, Charlie’s latest play – ironically enough about the breakup of a relationship – is receiving rave reviews.  

Even that one critic who panned him years ago has reached out via email to apologize after attending the preview, showering him with some gorgeous words of praise.  They have been conversing back and forth ever since, the messages growing more and more explicit.  He wonders if he will ask her for a review of his performance after he fucks her.  It would be fitting.  But he is so looking forward to killing her that he thinks he might not be able to wait.  Her apology was just meaningless, empty words, and she deserves his punishment. Charlie never forgives. And he never forgets.

By day, he is in great demand.  He works long hours, and doesn’t have even a moment of time to himself, so surrounded is he by others in his workplace.

But at night, he is alone.

So, at night, he drinks, and he fucks, and he kills.

He is relentless.  He is ruthless. He is reckless.  He is heartless.

He has nothing left to lose.

***

“Most men are just stone cold,” his mother told him years ago, bitter after a bad breakup with her latest beau.  Charlie must have been about twelve at the time.  “Heartless bastards, the lot of them.  Just like your father was.  Like you are.”

Her words were slurred and she could barely stand, although it was only three in the afternoon.  She was drunk, but Charlie didn’t doubt the truth of her words.  He never did.  She was his mother, so why would she lie to him?

Heartless.

Charlie thinks about it often, even now.  

Heartless bastard.

Late at night, when he’s being kept awake by an ache in his chest so intense that no amount of booze or cunt or blood ever seems to distract him from it, even for a single moment.

I am heartless, he thinks.

I am alone.

***

It is nearing the end of summer, but it is still far too hot and humid to be dressed to the nines for a black tie event.  Charlie has been sweating in his suit all evening, and it hasn’t improved one bit since he retreated to his air conditioned apartment.

In the kitchen, he removes his jacket and tie, draping them carefully over the back of one of the chairs that sit at the small table in the corner. He unfastens the top two buttons of his shirt, and rolls his sleeves up neatly.  That’s better.

After taking a few seconds to compose himself, he fills two glasses with ice water, and returns to the living room. Only a minute has passed at most since he left the room, but in this time his companion has traveled from the couch where he left her, to stand in front of the bookcase.  She appears to be examining the few photos Charlie has of himself and Henry, in happier times. 

His footsteps sound very loud as he approaches her.  The apartment is always so quiet, these days.  “That’s my son,” he says, quietly.  “He is seven. He lives with his mother in Los Angeles.”

His companion nods, but doesn’t say anything.  She doesn’t turn around, so he cannot see her expression.  He wonders what she is thinking.  Probably that he is damaged goods.  Which has always been true.

Charlie suddenly becomes aware of how close behind her he’s standing.  He can smell her perfume, combined with the scent of some expensive shampoo. There is a light sheen of perspiration on her bare shoulders, which glistens in the faint lamplight of the room.  He wonders what her sweat would taste like.  How her lips would feel like against his.  If her skin is really as soft and as smooth as it looks. He wonders how well it would bruise for him, and if she would enjoy it.

“Here,” he says, reaching around her with one of the glasses of water.  She takes it from him, and lifts it to her lips to take a sip, making a small sound of appreciation.  As he retracts his hand, he allows it to brush against her arm, so gently that it almost seems accidental.  She shivers, then goes very, very still.

“His name is Henry,” he continues, apropos of absolutely nothing.  “I miss him.  I don’t miss his mother.”  He can’t understand why he is blurting information out like this, to a stranger he met at an incredibly dull party only a few hours ago.  “It was a strange relationship, and I suppose I am still not really sure what even happened.”

His companion takes another sip of water, then places the glass on the bookshelf.  The lack of coaster underneath it makes Charlie cringe, but only for a moment.  His head empties itself of all coherent thought when she turns to look at him.  It feels like the breath has been punched out of his lungs.  It’s only been a couple of minutes since he last saw her face, but it feels like somehow he’d managed to forget just how lovely she is. Or perhaps his reaction is because he is only now able to truly appreciate her radiance, given their new proximity to each other.

“I understand,” she tells him, in a voice that sounds like the most beautiful music he has ever heard. Quite boldly, she takes the glass of water out of his hand, and places it next to the one he gave her.  Again without a coaster, but Charlie doesn’t even care.  “My last breakup was less than ideal.  It turned out my partner was rather heartless.  Or … perhaps I was.” Her tone is self-deprecating, and Charlie can sense some pain behind her words.

And there it is again.  Heartless.

That word that has haunted him for years.

I am heartless, he thinks.  I am alone.

And there is is again.  That ache inside his ribcage.  

But this time, it feels different.  This time, it is accompanied by a warmth that is spreading from the center of his chest, through his torso, and into his limbs.  How strange.

Unbidden, an odd thought floats into his mind, and takes up residence there.  Am I heartless?

Slowly, Charlie reaches out and takes her hand in his.  He brings it up to the middle of his chest and holds it there.  Even through her hand, he can feel the rapid thump of a heart that he has been told over and over again does not exist.

His beautiful companion blinks, and then her lips twitch into the faintest of smiles.  She understands, he realizes, right before her fingers curl around the hand that still hangs uselessly at his side, and she reciprocates the gesture.  

Her skin is soft and smooth under his palm, just like he thought it would be.  

Her heartbeat is perfectly in time with his own.

Oh.

Oh god.

Charlie takes a deep breath, and then leans in, until his lips are just the barest whisper away from hers.  “It seems you are not heartless,” he tells her, with a small smile.

“Neither are you,” she whispers.

Charlie closes his eyes, and he kisses her.

And he kisses her.

And he kisses her.

***

Much later, his bedmate sleeps quite soundly, tired out by hours of play. Charlie’s body is exhausted, but his mind remains frustratingly awake.  His thoughts are very loud, and the pounding in his chest is almost deafening.  

I am not heartless, he thinks incredulously, over and over again, trying desperately to process this new information.  

I am not heartless.

So maybe ...

Maybe ...

Next to him, his companion stirs, muttering something in her sleep.  Charlie pulls her to him, and strokes her hair until she has been lulled back into the depths of peaceful slumber once more.   

Earlier, she was so responsive to him.  So strong.  She gave him everything he asked for without a single whimper, and politely asked for more.

And ...

The way she looked at him afterwards, when he attempted to tend to her welts and bruises, even though he had never done it before ...

The way she smiled at him after she pulled on the old t-shirt he gave her to sleep in, and it swamped her ...

The way she gazed at him through heavy-lidded eyes right before she fell asleep ...

It was almost as if she liked him.

Charlie chews on the inside of his trembling lower lip, and squeezes his eyes shut.  Surely this is too good to be true.  He wouldn’t be surprised to wake up in the morning and realize that this whole thing has been yet another one of his fantasies.  It has been quite some time, after all, since he has bothered to take his medication.

But ... what it it’s not a hallucination?  What if it’s real?

His arms tighten around her.  She doesn’t wake, but she does snuggle closer to him, all soft and warm and sweet.  Charlie swallows thickly, and presses a tender kiss to the top of her head.

“If you stay,” he whispers, “I am going to call you Kitten.” 

Please stay.

[mainly-kpop]

a pirates life for me

part eighteen

pairing: btsXfemale reader Summary: They just wanted ransom money for a princess, you just wanted to be free of palace walls. You are not what he wanted and he was nothing like you anticipated. Word count: 4.5k  Warnings: smut, oral, male receiving, outdoor sex

All you heard was whispering, well that’s how it started. Walking around this town seemed like everyone was talking and buzzing about the same thing. They all giggled, jumping in place, paper forms between their well taken care of fingers. Fingers that had never seen a day’s work in their lives, maybe that’s why you were so curious. What did the wealthy have to be so excited about, they had everything? Then you heard it, you had never meant to eavesdrop. Really you wouldn’t have been, this girl seemed to brag a lot, the whole town knowing where she was going in the next couple of days. 

‘Didn’t you hear? That princess is getting married to Prince Franz, of course I was invited. Franz and I used to be good friends, I bet he’s become so handsome. Me? Try something? I couldn’t.’ The girl giggled to her friends; it made your blood boil. The princess may have changed over the years, but to be cheated on, on her wedding night? It didn’t sit right with you. You told Yoongi about it instantly, more venting rather than asking for anything. 

‘Do you want to go? I can get those invites…’ He whispered, giving you a very serious expression. You took a minute to think, but your answer should have been no. Why would you want to go back? The princess never looked for you, hadn’t cared about you for years now, why should you have to think? 

‘Yes. I want to go.’ You reply letting him gather the boys, formatting a plan instantly. 

‘Big mouth you’ve got there beautiful. Seems like there isn’t one person who doesn’t know you’re going to this wedding.’ Taehyung spoke, leaning against the alley wall. She scoffed, looking him up and down.

‘Is there something you want from me, pirate?’ She spat, looking him up and down, truthfully the boy was quite attractive, just filthy and, well, a disgusting pirate. If he wanted to be her plus one, he would have to clean up slightly. Taehyung laughed in her face, shaking his head. 

‘There is something actually. I hear you got nine invitations. I need eight of them.’ He clarified, no hint of humour in his voice. She laughed in disbelief, crossing her arms over her chest.

‘What makes you think I would give up my invite? To a pirate no less.’ She seethed, disgusted at even the thought. He just stepped closer, hands on either side of her head, trapping her in. 

‘I never said you had to give up yours, just your families. If you don’t bring eight invites here by sunset, my men will raid your home for them. It’s your choice beautiful, make the right one.’ He whispered, turning away, walking out the alley to the others. You waited for his answer, a smug grin and shrug greeted you. Finally, you were going, not as a maid, but as an old friend. 

‘But the girl said something, that is surprisingly true. We can’t go looking like this.’ He motioned at everyone’s outfits noting the stains, dirt and holes. Yoongi grumbled, knowing this meant spending on his part. 

‘Fine, basic suits, a pretty dress and haircuts. That’s it!’ He lectured, watching everyone grin in excitement. A few hours later, everyone had their outfits and mini make overs. You were all gathered around the alley, waiting for the young heiress to return. 

‘I see you brought your friends…’ Her voice spoke, drawing everyone’s attention. In her hand she had an envelope, handing the paper over to Taehyung. Inside held eight golden edged tickets, inviting them to the palace. Royal parchment, that shit never gets old. 

‘Pleasure doing business with you beautiful, I’ll see you there…’ He winked, all of you finally heading back to the ship. Finally, you were heading back to the palace. Questions filtered through your mind like, would she be happy to see you? Would you have to talk to your father? You tried not to think about it, rather, be there as a friend. 

‘Princess, are you ready? All the guests have arrived.’ Her maid spoke, knocking gently on the door. She stood looking in the mirror, taking in her general appearance. The white layered dress clung to her body, making her seem thinner and more desirable. The dress hit the floor, pooling perfectly around her feet. She looked pretty, she always did, but this felt wrong, different. Every party you had been there, as a friend or staff, regardless you were always around. Now you weren’t, for her biggest day, they day she sells a lie to the world, and you weren’t here. It crushed her, no matter what the day was, she couldn’t be happy. 

‘Yes, we can proceed.’ She replied formally, picking up the skirt of her dress as a maid grabbed the train of her dress. The hallway was quiet, despite the amount of people she knew to be in the building right now. Father suggested they send out thousands of invites, to the wealthy and rich around the globe. She saw no point, wasn’t a marriage meant to be between loved ones? Maybe she was just naive, thinking romantic thoughts she shouldn’t be. Franz was a nice man, a good-looking man. An unfaithful swine, but at least she didn’t have to conceive children with someone who didn’t appeal to her. 

She let the ceremony pass her by, zoning in and out most of the time. She tuned in for the important parts, for her lines. Although, it must have been obvious her mind was in another place, that she would rather be anywhere else. Why did she have to be queen anyway, it’s not like this is something she wanted. Would Franz do all the work? Perhaps, he would be a responsible king? Amelia dropped that notion the moment she saw him giving googly eyes to her maid over her shoulder. Couldn’t he have been more subtle? This wedding was a sham, this relationship was a sham, she was a sham. She sat at the head table in the ball room, sulking and looking over the guest. She looked around at the guests. Fake, false, overbearing, were just a few words that came to mind. A group of men caught her eye, they didn’t look like they belonged. It seemed a lot of people thought the same, due to the amount of looks they were acquiring. 

‘How did you men get in here?’ She spoke, approaching them, trying to keep it as quiet as possible. As much as she wanted these strange men out, she didn’t want to cause a scene. You stepped forward, smiling warmly, curtsying for her. 

‘Princess, it’s nice to see you again.’ You heard her gasp, a swift tug to your arm had you both running off in a familiar direction. She stopped you abruptly, grabbing your face in her hands, tugging you left and right trying to make sure it was you. 

‘How did you get here?’ She questions, looking around momentarily making sure no one was watching on. 

‘Oh, we heard some people talking about the wedding. I just wanted to come congratulate you, so congrats princess.’ You bow once more, making her scoff, crossing her arms over her chest. 

‘Stop being so formal you loon, as if mother is going to try and drown me at my own wedding. Also, stop calling me princess, its Amelia to friends.’ She smiled warmly, looking your outfit up and down. ‘You don’t look like you’ve been living with pirates for 10 months… incredible.’ You laughed lightly, looking over your shoulder at the men you arrived with. They stood around the food table, examining pieces of food, Jin rolling his eyes. You couldn’t help but smile as his eyes caught yours, smirk crawling across his lips. 

‘Yeah, I guess it could have been worse… a lot worse.’ You smile, talking about way more things than she could know. 

‘Still, doesn’t this all feel very familiar? I guess the only differences being; we don’t have the same outfit on and it’s not our birthday party…’ She smiled, pointing out the obvious.

‘I was tempted, but I didn’t think it very polite to dress the same as the bride.’ You smirk, letting her swat your arm as she giggled.

‘There’s one more thing I need to tell you before we are separated tonight.’ She spoke, suddenly much more serious. 

‘Hmm? What would that be?’ You frowned, tilting your head. You always had this air of innocence around you, that’s something she truly missed. 

‘Robert knows about everything. Lucas came by around a few months ago so I had to tell him you knew. Lucas forced my hand; Robert has been looking for you ever since.’ Your eyes widened at this; he knew. Your father knew you knew. Was he going to take you away? Back to the palace? You didn’t want to stay here anymore, as much as you missed the luxuries, you much preferred being with Yoongi and the others. 

‘Oh, tall handsome pirate coming this way.’ She raised her eyebrows suggestively giving you a quick hug. ‘Come find me before you leave? I wish to say goodbye properly.’ You nod, letting go of her hands as she ran off to the head table. 

‘Sorry to interrupt, but can we go for a walk?’ He spoke, holding a hand out for you like the noblemen he had seen previously. You snickered at him, putting your hand in his. 

‘Actually, yes, there’s a place I want to show you…’ You whispered in his ear, giggling as the tips turned bright red. He truly looked devastatingly handsome tonight. The suit clung to his frame like it was made for him, hair combed and styled, he suited this look. Like a painting, a hand-crafted piece of art. 

‘So where are you leading me Miss? Are you leading me to my death?’ He gasps, placing his hand over his heart in fake shock. You just smile, smacking his arm, linking your hand with his. It feels like you never left, the hallways and staircases the exact same. By memory, you lead you both outside, the stables in your sight. You wonder if it was still there, after all these years you left it untouched, never told a soul about it. It had to still be there. Carefully you climbed the old rickety ladder, laughing in disbelief. Still here, if anything a bit dirty and worn from the weather, but still here regardless. 

‘So, you brought me to, what? See a mouldy old blanket?’ Jin teased, half way up the ladder since you still sat in his way. You scoffed, shuffling over to it giving him some space to climb up. 

‘No, I brought you to watch the stars idiot. But hey, if you’re not down for it…’ 

‘Haha, no, no I didn’t say that, move over!’ He rushed, crawling up beside you, looking at the stars through the gap in the roof. He snuck a look over at you, admiring the way the moon casted a shadow on your face, the deep blue, almost black, of the sky reflecting in your eyes. You glance over at him, smirking when you see he’s already looking at you. 

‘What? Do I look radiant?’ You joke, flailing your hands around your face, being overly dramatic to hide the blush growing.

‘Yes, actually.’ He speaks, not missing a single beat. 

‘You don’t scrub up so bad yourself pirate.’ You whisper into the silence of the barn, letting him balance his weight on one arm, facing you. 

‘Can I kiss you?’ He asked, the innocent question hanging in the air, you were never one to turn down an opportunity. Nodding in the smallest way, you let him lean in, his plump lips hitting yours slowly and gently. Out of all the kisses you had experienced so far, this one held the most love, want and meaning. It was a heavily emotional kiss, almost bringing you to tears. Before you could ruin the mood with tears, he pulled apart from you, looking over your face for a few seconds. 

‘God, you’re beautiful.’ He whispered before smashing his lips to yours once more. This time with a different mood, the feeling was different, it still exuded love, but with a feeling you were more familiar with. 

His teeth sunk into your bottom lip, causing a gasp to escape your throat. He chuckled at your reaction, sliding your dress up your thigh, slipping his hand under. You could feel the tingling of your skin, everywhere his fingers grazed erupted into goose bumps. You began unbuttoning his jacket and shirt buttons, slipping your hand into the fabric, marvelling at the warmth of his chest. The muscles in his stomach flexing with every swipe of your fingers, or scratch of your nail. His hips unintentionally jerked into your body, making you groan out as you felt his erection press into you. 

‘Jin, let me-‘ 

‘Quiet baby, there’s plenty of time for that.’ He mumbled, still chasing your mouth, hands laced in your hair. He pulled you into his frame, just savouring the sensations and feelings. He had been waiting for this since god knows how long. He wanted you since he saw you, since you were confirmed as a member of the crew. He wanted to be your first taste at sin, but he wasn’t, he couldn’t be. Now you knew they all wanted you, now you were sure of that, he couldn’t talk himself out of this anymore. He had to have you, and he was going to savour every damn second. 

‘Jin please. Let me do it.’ You beg, already fumbling to unbutton the dress trousers. He moaned at your eagerness, your genuine want for him. Instead of fighting you, he let you do as you wanted, quickly slipping the trousers and boxers down his thighs. You smirked at his size, holding the base with one hand, licking your lips as you sunk down between his thighs. 

‘Don’t hold back, I promise I know how to do it…’ You whisper, rolling the flat of your tongue over the tip before wrapping your lips fully around it. He groaned, throwing his head back and kicking his legs out straight. You were right, you knew exactly what you were doing. You knew how to drive him insane already, he wanted to thrust into your throat, to grip your hair and make you take it like the whores he fucked with. You weren’t one of them though, you weren’t some whore he wanted to fuck around with and dump. He wanted to treat you right, to cuddle you after, and run his fingers through your hair. He just wanted; you. 

‘Baby, god you’re so fucking good at this…’ He gasped, lacing his fingers in your hair, pushing your head further down. You swallowed around him, inviting him deeper into your throat. He cursed under his breath, swallowing the choked lump in his throat. Pulling away with a pop, you bite down on your lips as he catches his breath, running his hands through his hair. 

‘Why did you stop baby?’ He spoke, voice husky, shooting the electric feeling to your stomach. Instead of answering, you trail your hands down the lace of the dress, untying it. It fell off your chest, pooling at your hips. 

‘I’m needy. Let me sit on it?’ You whimpered, slipping your panties to the side to position yourself on him. He stopped you, sitting up slightly. 

‘If you’re going to be jumping on my dick, I’ll be watching every minute. Take the dress and panties off baby.’ He demanded, forcing you to stand and do as your told. You let the dress pool around your ankles, stepping away from the fabric, letting your underwear slowly drop beside it. 

‘That’s it baby, now how about you take a seat?’ He smirked, holding his dick with one hand, the other arm holding his head slightly up. You smiled back, giggling at his words. You slipped onto your knees over his crotch, dick touching your entrance already. He let out a sigh, feeling how wet you were, it leaking down his length. 

‘God baby, this wet from sucking me off? You’re such a dirty little girl, aren’t you?’ He teased, fingers digging into the flesh of your thighs, trying to hold himself back from thrusting into you. He wanted you to go at your own pace, but having you just balancing above him had him frustrated and impatient. Slowly, you slipped down his length, squeezing around him as you stretched to accommodate him. 

‘Why are you so big? That makes no sense, so selfish.’ You pant, ranting as you sink further and further down him. He just breathes out a laugh, ego inflating the more you complain or whine. Finally, he bottomed out, your ass hitting his pelvis, grunting out in relief. You were in full control here, well until he was bored of that. However, as of right now, you had full control over the situation. Instead of just bouncing straight off, you decided to grind and wiggle for a minute, to find where best to hit. He whined as you did that, clearly enjoying the sensation too, your walls clenched as you found the spot, groaning at the feeling. 

‘Is that the spot baby?’ He smirked, stroking your thighs, controlling himself. You nod, lifting your weight slightly, dropping back down pushing him right into that spot. He couldn’t stop thinking about how amazing you looked like this. Your perfectly styled hair was a bit of a mess now, you would have to take it down before you say goodbye to the princess. Your chest was flushed, cheeks too, Jin was sure he wasn’t fairing much better in that respect. You still managed to look beautiful, the fucked out look on your face making him want to leave marks all over you. He sighed, pulling your arms, forcing you to lie on top of him. You gasped at the sudden movement, flipped now onto your back. Pouting up at him, you cross your arms. 

‘I was having fun!’ You whine, being a bit of a brat. He smirked, pulling himself out of you to thrust back in hard. You scream out, covering your mouth instantly, you don’t know who was lurking about this late. 

‘Careful baby, or I’ll have to fuck that attitude right out of you.’ He growled, thrusting harder and faster into you. You could feel the tingling, closing your eyes to enjoy the feeling for once instead of trying to warn it was happening. He watched your face as you came, trying to implant it in his mind for life. He never wanted to forget that. Quickly, he pulled out, cumming on the blanket you lay on, off to the side. You looked at the mess, the innocent memory of this place now tainted. 

‘Should we get back to the party? It’s probably about time for us to leave.’ He whispered after a while of cuddling, his fingers running through your hair as you absentmindedly drew circles on his chest. Nodding, you stood, letting him help you put the dress back on, lacing it up for you. You lead him back to the party, careful not to get spotted by any staff or guards. 

‘I’m going to say goodbye, you round up the boys and meet me outside?’ You suggested, giving him a quick kiss before you ran off in separate directions. You heard your name being called, turning around to see just the woman you were searching for. 

‘I see your hair has changed style…’ She commented, smirking at you. Your hand trailed up to your hair, chuckling nervously. ‘I’m not criticizing I’m just happy it’s not Lucas, also I talked to your well-dressed pirate friends, they all have wonderful things to say about you so I’m not worried. Are you leaving?’ You just smile, listening to her talk about the boys was weirdly nice… 

‘Unfortunately so, I’m happy for you.’ She scoffed, waving her hand in the air. 

‘Don’t be like all the other airheads here, say what you mean.’ She narrowed her eyes, watching your face relax. You rolled your eyes at her, sighing. 

‘Fine, god you’re so stubborn. I don’t like him, he reminds me of your mother, very unfaithful. I don’t want you to get hurt so be careful okay?’ You tell truthfully, she just smiles through a choked sob. You went to apologise, but she wrapped you in her arms, pulling you into a tight hug. 

‘Truthfully, it’s okay. You remember the kitchen boy that was around our age? His mother is the head chef. We are in love, Franz is a front, I’m happy, I’ll be happy, just like we promised each other. Oh, and thank you. Now go, before mother catches you. Visit me okay?’ She whispers, pulling away from you, you just nod, running out of the palace, meeting the boys at the bottom of the steps. 

‘Ready to go?’ You smile, grabbing two of their hands, running back to the docks. 

Robert pulled into the docks, sighing. He had looked what seems like the entirety of the north for you, to no avail. You must have taken a turn somewhere, he needed to face the fact he probably wasn’t going to find you. For now, he should just come home, enjoy the princess’ wedding then search again. He looked over to his right, an unnamed and sketchy looking ship began sailing out. If he had known, or asked, he would have known it was a pirate ship. The one you were on, the one you had settled on for almost a year now. He didn’t ask though, he didn’t click, not until it was too late, not until you were already too far away. Not until he had already promised the Navy boys the night to themselves. 

He entered the palace, the party already in full swing, he needed to change and shower. Then he could enter the party like he belonged. When he was finally ready, he caught the back of Franz’s head, talking to guests. He tapped him on the shoulder, causing him to turn around, pissed off look on his face. 

‘Yes?’ He gritted, not letting go of the girl’s waist he was chatting up. Robert looked between the two, raising an eyebrow at the girl. Did she have no shame? She must know this was the man who just got married, she could be condemned to death for this! 

‘Franz, I’m going to leave, find me when this is done yeah?’ She spoke, not even trying to keep her voice down. Franz smiled at her, watching her ass as she walked off. 

‘I just came to congratulate you on your wedding son, but seems like you don’t really care about that, huh?’ He raised an eyebrow, looking down on the ‘Prince’ in front of him. He just scoffed, shaking his head at Robert. 

‘And who exactly might you be?’ He gritted his teeth, daring him to say something he can throw him out for. Before he could open his mouth, a voice came behind him. 

‘Robert? Franz? Is everything okay here?’ Both the men turned to Amelia; fake smiles plastered on their faces. 

‘Amelia! Darling, I was just asking your husband where you were, congratulations on the wedding, I’m truly happy for you.’ He spoke, face telling a completely different story, Amelia snorted out a laugh, gathering herself instantly. 

‘Thank you, Robert. Oh, you just missed your daughter, she left about an hour ago.’ The words rung in his head, alarm bells going off over and over. That ship, why didn’t he think? 

Your laugh echoed off the vast empty sea, falling onto your ass as Hoseok spun you around, throwing you both onto the ground. 

‘I swear, that’s how the old man did it!’ He protested, trying to dance like the men he had seen at the wedding. You just hold your sides, laughing at the others imitating the posh accents. 

‘Oh, don’t these dishes look delightful?’ Jungkook spoke, pointing at you and Hoseok on the ground. 

‘Oh, yes, if I wasn’t on a diet, I would eat them all up!’ Jimin returned, pouncing to tickle you and Hoseok. Yoongi just watched from a distance fondly. 

‘Guys?’ He questioned, breaking the laughter, all heads turning to him. ‘It’s about that time of year, are you okay with heading that way?’ He questioned, talking mainly to you. The rest of the boys knew, they knew every year. 

‘Yeah, I’ll set the course in the morning, it should take us about fifteen days give or take to get there.’ Namjoon spoke, nodding at Jimin to clarify. 

‘Cool, I’m going to head to bed. It’s late, don’t stay up too much longer!’ He chirped, heading to his quarters. You stood to follow him, waving goodnight at the boys. 

‘Yoongi?’ You spoke, creaking the door open. He stood in the middle of the room, slipping his shirt onto his body. You take a three second look, enjoying the view. 

‘Yes?’ He questioned back, smirking as you ogled him. He didn’t want to say anything, but the longer you stare, the more he wants to kiss you. 

‘Are you sure you want me there? Family is important, are we at that point?’ You question, fully closing the door stepping into the room. 

‘I want you there. I want you by my side every step of the way from now on, and I’m willing to wait for you. I don’t care how long, I’ll wait it.’ He clarified, stepping closer and closer to you. 

‘Are you sure?’ You ask one more time. He didn’t answer, just capturing your lips with his. Your eyes stay open in shock, but close quickly on their own relaxing into the kiss. The forbidden fruit. 

‘Sorry, I couldn’t do it anymore, I just, I miss you. I don’t want anything like that from you, I just missed that.’ He whispered, thumb grazing your bottom lip. 

‘Don’t be sorry. Just do it again, one more time?’