#like sex doesn’t really seem desirable anymore marriage could become a trap

[cmc-things]

Got about 3 hours of sleep last night and feeling awesome 👍

[iamakiller]

heartless

Wordcount: 2400

Warnings: Murder. Violence.  Infidelity.  Divorce.  Reference to past abuse.

Notes:  They say that every tale has three different versions.  Mine, yours, and the truth.

This is the story of the death of a marriage, and what came after.

Henry is one.  

His first word is “Dada”, followed closely by “Mama”, so Nicole can’t sulk for too long.

These days, he sleeps through the night more often than not.  Some semblance of normality has finally fallen over the Barber household, after their rather chaotic beginning.  It is ... nice.

Nicole’s figure has almost reverted back to how it was before.  When Charlie reaches for her, she does not deny him. Her body is warm and welcoming, just as he remembers.

Now, if he stays out late sometimes, it is only to walk and think.  His blades are gathering dust.  He has remained faithful for over a year.

He cannot remember the last time he felt lonely.

Everything is perfect.

***

Henry is two.

Every other word out of his mouth is “No”.  He is irrational, defiant, and wonderful.

Nicole mentions L.A. once or twice in passing, but Charlie dismisses it as a fleeting fancy.  His career is going well, and New York is his home.

The attraction between them is still utterly magnetic.  Charlie recognizes every inch of her body almost as well as his own. The taste of her spit, her sweat, her cum are all imprinted on his mind indelibly. The feel of her flesh under his hands is familiar and satisfying, and he cannot seem to get enough of it, even after several years of marriage.

Perhaps it doesn’t matter that they never seem to talk.

Everything is good.

***

Henry is three.

His curiosity about the world around him is vast.  His capacity to ask questions is seemingly limitless, and often exhausting.

He also has no filter, which Charlie discovers to his utter mortification when Henry announces to the cashier at the supermarket checkout – and indeed to the entire queue, due to the volume of his innocent little voice - “My Daddy has a huge penis.”

Charlie claps his hand over Henry’s mouth, stammers his apologies, and retreats as soon as he has paid for his groceries.  But when he gets home and begins to unpack them, he notices that a phone number has been scribbled on the back of the receipt.  Interesting.

He puts it in his pocket.  Just in case.  It’s not like the cashier was extremely attractive.  It’s not like she looked at him in a way that Nicole hasn’t for a while now.  It’s not like he’s going to call her.

(But he does.  Of course, he does.)

Other than that, though …

Everything is fine.

***

Henry is four.

For some reason known only to him, he is going through a clingy phase.  He doesn’t want to go to day care anymore.  He only wants his Daddy.  He holds on to Charlie’s legs with a vice-like grip, and refuses to let go.  And Charlie cannot bring himself to force him.

So for two weeks, Henry becomes Charlie’s unofficial assistant director on his latest production.  If Charlie is seated, Henry is on his lap, face tucked against the crook of his shoulder.  If Charlie is standing, Henry is right beside him, holding onto his hand or the hem of his cardigan. When the more kindly members of the cast and crew try to engage with him, he peeks out at them from behind Charlie’s back, but as the days pass, he soon warms up to them, and soon everyone is quite distracted by his joyful presence.  He eats pizza for lunch every single day, and has all the paper and crayons that his heart could possibly desire.  When he’s tired, he naps on a makeshift bed of jackets in a quiet corner of the rehearsal space.  And finally, at the end of the second week, he asks Charlie when he’s going back to day care.

Nicole finds out about this little holiday after a phone call enquiring as to whether or not he’ll be attending the following week, and is furious. “You’re spoiling him!” she accuses, once Henry is in bed.  “He has to learn he can’t always get what he wants!”

He’s four, Charlie thinks. But also … The audacity!

Nicole grew up in the lap of luxury, with a father who gave her whatever she wanted, as she reminds him all too often when he denies her some outrageous request. She has no right to comment on anyone else being spoiled. When Charlie tells her as much, without any of his usual attempts to soften the harshness of his words, she reels away with a shocked look on her face, like his mother used to after his father struck her.

Suddenly, Charlie feels awful.  Like an utterly heartless bastard.  

He spends the rest of the evening apologizing.  The make up sex that occurs once she has forgiven him is so cathartic that afterwards, as they sprawl across the couch together, he finds himself telling her a few details about his past.  Not much, but more than he’s ever trusted anyone with before, except perhaps his dear cousin Pat.  

He wants her to understand him so badly.  She is his wife, after all.  The mother of his child.  His life partner. Til death do us part.

Nicole presses her lips together, and doesn’t say anything in response.  After a moment, she gets up, and goes to take a shower.

They never talk about it again.

Charlie openly embarks on a string of affairs, because why the hell not?  He dusts off his knives, and becomes the scourge of the city again.  Nicole doesn’t seem to notice that anything has changed.  Or maybe she just doesn’t care.

Everything is not okay.

***

Henry is five.

He is tall for his age, but not exceptionally so.  His report cards are full of praise for his positivity and kindness to others, though they do also mention how inattentive he is at times, especially when it comes to math.  He has a gaggle of girls who follow him around the playground with dazed expressions and starry eyes.  When Charlie asks him about them, Henry shrugs.  “They’re just my girlfriends,” he says.  Christ.

For the first time in his life, Charlie feels old. This is probably due to the permanent backache he has from sleeping on the couch on the nights he bothers to stay home.  Or maybe it’s because he’s acting like he’s still twenty-five, and fucking every woman who spares him a second glance.

His body count has increased exponentially of late.  Most of his victims won’t be missed, but enough of them are noticed that it draws NYPD’s attention, and he has to take a couple of weeks off to let it all blow over.

It works.  But everything else blows up.

Trapped in the apartment with Nicole, tensions rise, until finally his infidelities come to light.  In a hushed voice - so as not to wake Henry - she calls Charlie a narcissist, and a womanizer, and a drunk.

Charlie stands there and takes it stoically.  Just like he used to when he was younger, and it was his mother spitting venom at him.  The words wash over him, barely registering.  He doesn’t respond.

After a while, enraged by his lack of reaction, Nicole screws up her pretty face into a nasty sneer, and informs him that he’s a heartless bastard just like his father was. 

In spite of all he has done, it is a low blow to throw those secrets he trusted her with back at him like a weapon.  And it triggers him, like nothing she has ever said or done before.

Suddenly, he finds himself looming over her, with his fist raised, and the urge to strike almost overwhelming him.

But he is not like his father.  

He is not.  

HE IS NOT.

Biting back a howl of pain so as not to wake his sleeping son, he punches a hole in the wall next to her head instead.

Even though they have been trying to be quiet, the silence that comes next is deafening.

Charlie stares at the damaged wall.  At his hand.  At his wife.

As if in slow motion, he crumples to his hands and knees on the floor, and begins to sob.

For a moment, Nicole stares at him with her mouth open, and her eyes wide. Then she leaves the room.

That night, she packs a bag and leaves, taking Henry with her.

Charlie is alone again.

Everything is broken.

***

It ends, as it began, with a great deal of expense, more of an audience than Charlie is comfortable with, and the signing of several pieces of paper.

***

Henry is six.

According to Nicole, the teachers at his new school say he is doing very well.  Charlie speaks to him almost every day over Skype or on the phone, so there isn’t much about his life he doesn’t know, given Henry’s tendency to overshare.

But he misses the little things.  The boring, mundane activities he took for granted.  Helping with homework.  Reminding Henry to brush his teeth, and tuck his shirt in.  Quietly spending time together; Charlie absorbed in his writing, and Henry filling page after page with his colorful imaginings.  Charlie loves hearing about Henry’s life, he really does. But he misses living it with him.

Meanwhile, Charlie’s latest play – ironically enough about the breakup of a relationship – is receiving rave reviews.  

Even that one critic who panned him years ago has reached out via email to apologize after attending the preview, showering him with some gorgeous words of praise.  They have been conversing back and forth ever since, the messages growing more and more explicit.  He wonders if he will ask her for a review of his performance after he fucks her.  It would be fitting.  But he is so looking forward to killing her that he thinks he might not be able to wait.  Her apology was just meaningless, empty words, and she deserves his punishment. Charlie never forgives. And he never forgets.

By day, he is in great demand.  He works long hours, and doesn’t have even a moment of time to himself, so surrounded is he by others in his workplace.

But at night, he is alone.

So, at night, he drinks, and he fucks, and he kills.

He is relentless.  He is ruthless. He is reckless.  He is heartless.

He has nothing left to lose.

***

“Most men are just stone cold,” his mother told him years ago, bitter after a bad breakup with her latest beau.  Charlie must have been about twelve at the time.  “Heartless bastards, the lot of them.  Just like your father was.  Like you are.”

Her words were slurred and she could barely stand, although it was only three in the afternoon.  She was drunk, but Charlie didn’t doubt the truth of her words.  He never did.  She was his mother, so why would she lie to him?

Heartless.

Charlie thinks about it often, even now.  

Heartless bastard.

Late at night, when he’s being kept awake by an ache in his chest so intense that no amount of booze or cunt or blood ever seems to distract him from it, even for a single moment.

I am heartless, he thinks.

I am alone.

***

It is nearing the end of summer, but it is still far too hot and humid to be dressed to the nines for a black tie event.  Charlie has been sweating in his suit all evening, and it hasn’t improved one bit since he retreated to his air conditioned apartment.

In the kitchen, he removes his jacket and tie, draping them carefully over the back of one of the chairs that sit at the small table in the corner. He unfastens the top two buttons of his shirt, and rolls his sleeves up neatly.  That’s better.

After taking a few seconds to compose himself, he fills two glasses with ice water, and returns to the living room. Only a minute has passed at most since he left the room, but in this time his companion has traveled from the couch where he left her, to stand in front of the bookcase.  She appears to be examining the few photos Charlie has of himself and Henry, in happier times. 

His footsteps sound very loud as he approaches her.  The apartment is always so quiet, these days.  “That’s my son,” he says, quietly.  “He is seven. He lives with his mother in Los Angeles.”

His companion nods, but doesn’t say anything.  She doesn’t turn around, so he cannot see her expression.  He wonders what she is thinking.  Probably that he is damaged goods.  Which has always been true.

Charlie suddenly becomes aware of how close behind her he’s standing.  He can smell her perfume, combined with the scent of some expensive shampoo. There is a light sheen of perspiration on her bare shoulders, which glistens in the faint lamplight of the room.  He wonders what her sweat would taste like.  How her lips would feel like against his.  If her skin is really as soft and as smooth as it looks. He wonders how well it would bruise for him, and if she would enjoy it.

“Here,” he says, reaching around her with one of the glasses of water.  She takes it from him, and lifts it to her lips to take a sip, making a small sound of appreciation.  As he retracts his hand, he allows it to brush against her arm, so gently that it almost seems accidental.  She shivers, then goes very, very still.

“His name is Henry,” he continues, apropos of absolutely nothing.  “I miss him.  I don’t miss his mother.”  He can’t understand why he is blurting information out like this, to a stranger he met at an incredibly dull party only a few hours ago.  “It was a strange relationship, and I suppose I am still not really sure what even happened.”

His companion takes another sip of water, then places the glass on the bookshelf.  The lack of coaster underneath it makes Charlie cringe, but only for a moment.  His head empties itself of all coherent thought when she turns to look at him.  It feels like the breath has been punched out of his lungs.  It’s only been a couple of minutes since he last saw her face, but it feels like somehow he’d managed to forget just how lovely she is. Or perhaps his reaction is because he is only now able to truly appreciate her radiance, given their new proximity to each other.

“I understand,” she tells him, in a voice that sounds like the most beautiful music he has ever heard. Quite boldly, she takes the glass of water out of his hand, and places it next to the one he gave her.  Again without a coaster, but Charlie doesn’t even care.  “My last breakup was less than ideal.  It turned out my partner was rather heartless.  Or … perhaps I was.” Her tone is self-deprecating, and Charlie can sense some pain behind her words.

And there it is again.  Heartless.

That word that has haunted him for years.

I am heartless, he thinks.  I am alone.

And there is is again.  That ache inside his ribcage.  

But this time, it feels different.  This time, it is accompanied by a warmth that is spreading from the center of his chest, through his torso, and into his limbs.  How strange.

Unbidden, an odd thought floats into his mind, and takes up residence there.  Am I heartless?

Slowly, Charlie reaches out and takes her hand in his.  He brings it up to the middle of his chest and holds it there.  Even through her hand, he can feel the rapid thump of a heart that he has been told over and over again does not exist.

His beautiful companion blinks, and then her lips twitch into the faintest of smiles.  She understands, he realizes, right before her fingers curl around the hand that still hangs uselessly at his side, and she reciprocates the gesture.  

Her skin is soft and smooth under his palm, just like he thought it would be.  

Her heartbeat is perfectly in time with his own.

Oh.

Oh god.

Charlie takes a deep breath, and then leans in, until his lips are just the barest whisper away from hers.  “It seems you are not heartless,” he tells her, with a small smile.

“Neither are you,” she whispers.

Charlie closes his eyes, and he kisses her.

And he kisses her.

And he kisses her.

***

Much later, his bedmate sleeps quite soundly, tired out by hours of play. Charlie’s body is exhausted, but his mind remains frustratingly awake.  His thoughts are very loud, and the pounding in his chest is almost deafening.  

I am not heartless, he thinks incredulously, over and over again, trying desperately to process this new information.  

I am not heartless.

So maybe ...

Maybe ...

Next to him, his companion stirs, muttering something in her sleep.  Charlie pulls her to him, and strokes her hair until she has been lulled back into the depths of peaceful slumber once more.   

Earlier, she was so responsive to him.  So strong.  She gave him everything he asked for without a single whimper, and politely asked for more.

And ...

The way she looked at him afterwards, when he attempted to tend to her welts and bruises, even though he had never done it before ...

The way she smiled at him after she pulled on the old t-shirt he gave her to sleep in, and it swamped her ...

The way she gazed at him through heavy-lidded eyes right before she fell asleep ...

It was almost as if she liked him.

Charlie chews on the inside of his trembling lower lip, and squeezes his eyes shut.  Surely this is too good to be true.  He wouldn’t be surprised to wake up in the morning and realize that this whole thing has been yet another one of his fantasies.  It has been quite some time, after all, since he has bothered to take his medication.

But ... what it it’s not a hallucination?  What if it’s real?

His arms tighten around her.  She doesn’t wake, but she does snuggle closer to him, all soft and warm and sweet.  Charlie swallows thickly, and presses a tender kiss to the top of her head.

“If you stay,” he whispers, “I am going to call you Kitten.” 

Please stay.

[mainly-kpop]

a pirates life for me

part eighteen

pairing: btsXfemale reader Summary: They just wanted ransom money for a princess, you just wanted to be free of palace walls. You are not what he wanted and he was nothing like you anticipated. Word count: 4.5k  Warnings: smut, oral, male receiving, outdoor sex

All you heard was whispering, well that’s how it started. Walking around this town seemed like everyone was talking and buzzing about the same thing. They all giggled, jumping in place, paper forms between their well taken care of fingers. Fingers that had never seen a day’s work in their lives, maybe that’s why you were so curious. What did the wealthy have to be so excited about, they had everything? Then you heard it, you had never meant to eavesdrop. Really you wouldn’t have been, this girl seemed to brag a lot, the whole town knowing where she was going in the next couple of days. 

‘Didn’t you hear? That princess is getting married to Prince Franz, of course I was invited. Franz and I used to be good friends, I bet he’s become so handsome. Me? Try something? I couldn’t.’ The girl giggled to her friends; it made your blood boil. The princess may have changed over the years, but to be cheated on, on her wedding night? It didn’t sit right with you. You told Yoongi about it instantly, more venting rather than asking for anything. 

‘Do you want to go? I can get those invites…’ He whispered, giving you a very serious expression. You took a minute to think, but your answer should have been no. Why would you want to go back? The princess never looked for you, hadn’t cared about you for years now, why should you have to think? 

‘Yes. I want to go.’ You reply letting him gather the boys, formatting a plan instantly. 

‘Big mouth you’ve got there beautiful. Seems like there isn’t one person who doesn’t know you’re going to this wedding.’ Taehyung spoke, leaning against the alley wall. She scoffed, looking him up and down.

‘Is there something you want from me, pirate?’ She spat, looking him up and down, truthfully the boy was quite attractive, just filthy and, well, a disgusting pirate. If he wanted to be her plus one, he would have to clean up slightly. Taehyung laughed in her face, shaking his head. 

‘There is something actually. I hear you got nine invitations. I need eight of them.’ He clarified, no hint of humour in his voice. She laughed in disbelief, crossing her arms over her chest.

‘What makes you think I would give up my invite? To a pirate no less.’ She seethed, disgusted at even the thought. He just stepped closer, hands on either side of her head, trapping her in. 

‘I never said you had to give up yours, just your families. If you don’t bring eight invites here by sunset, my men will raid your home for them. It’s your choice beautiful, make the right one.’ He whispered, turning away, walking out the alley to the others. You waited for his answer, a smug grin and shrug greeted you. Finally, you were going, not as a maid, but as an old friend. 

‘But the girl said something, that is surprisingly true. We can’t go looking like this.’ He motioned at everyone’s outfits noting the stains, dirt and holes. Yoongi grumbled, knowing this meant spending on his part. 

‘Fine, basic suits, a pretty dress and haircuts. That’s it!’ He lectured, watching everyone grin in excitement. A few hours later, everyone had their outfits and mini make overs. You were all gathered around the alley, waiting for the young heiress to return. 

‘I see you brought your friends…’ Her voice spoke, drawing everyone’s attention. In her hand she had an envelope, handing the paper over to Taehyung. Inside held eight golden edged tickets, inviting them to the palace. Royal parchment, that shit never gets old. 

‘Pleasure doing business with you beautiful, I’ll see you there…’ He winked, all of you finally heading back to the ship. Finally, you were heading back to the palace. Questions filtered through your mind like, would she be happy to see you? Would you have to talk to your father? You tried not to think about it, rather, be there as a friend. 

‘Princess, are you ready? All the guests have arrived.’ Her maid spoke, knocking gently on the door. She stood looking in the mirror, taking in her general appearance. The white layered dress clung to her body, making her seem thinner and more desirable. The dress hit the floor, pooling perfectly around her feet. She looked pretty, she always did, but this felt wrong, different. Every party you had been there, as a friend or staff, regardless you were always around. Now you weren’t, for her biggest day, they day she sells a lie to the world, and you weren’t here. It crushed her, no matter what the day was, she couldn’t be happy. 

‘Yes, we can proceed.’ She replied formally, picking up the skirt of her dress as a maid grabbed the train of her dress. The hallway was quiet, despite the amount of people she knew to be in the building right now. Father suggested they send out thousands of invites, to the wealthy and rich around the globe. She saw no point, wasn’t a marriage meant to be between loved ones? Maybe she was just naive, thinking romantic thoughts she shouldn’t be. Franz was a nice man, a good-looking man. An unfaithful swine, but at least she didn’t have to conceive children with someone who didn’t appeal to her. 

She let the ceremony pass her by, zoning in and out most of the time. She tuned in for the important parts, for her lines. Although, it must have been obvious her mind was in another place, that she would rather be anywhere else. Why did she have to be queen anyway, it’s not like this is something she wanted. Would Franz do all the work? Perhaps, he would be a responsible king? Amelia dropped that notion the moment she saw him giving googly eyes to her maid over her shoulder. Couldn’t he have been more subtle? This wedding was a sham, this relationship was a sham, she was a sham. She sat at the head table in the ball room, sulking and looking over the guest. She looked around at the guests. Fake, false, overbearing, were just a few words that came to mind. A group of men caught her eye, they didn’t look like they belonged. It seemed a lot of people thought the same, due to the amount of looks they were acquiring. 

‘How did you men get in here?’ She spoke, approaching them, trying to keep it as quiet as possible. As much as she wanted these strange men out, she didn’t want to cause a scene. You stepped forward, smiling warmly, curtsying for her. 

‘Princess, it’s nice to see you again.’ You heard her gasp, a swift tug to your arm had you both running off in a familiar direction. She stopped you abruptly, grabbing your face in her hands, tugging you left and right trying to make sure it was you. 

‘How did you get here?’ She questions, looking around momentarily making sure no one was watching on. 

‘Oh, we heard some people talking about the wedding. I just wanted to come congratulate you, so congrats princess.’ You bow once more, making her scoff, crossing her arms over her chest. 

‘Stop being so formal you loon, as if mother is going to try and drown me at my own wedding. Also, stop calling me princess, its Amelia to friends.’ She smiled warmly, looking your outfit up and down. ‘You don’t look like you’ve been living with pirates for 10 months… incredible.’ You laughed lightly, looking over your shoulder at the men you arrived with. They stood around the food table, examining pieces of food, Jin rolling his eyes. You couldn’t help but smile as his eyes caught yours, smirk crawling across his lips. 

‘Yeah, I guess it could have been worse… a lot worse.’ You smile, talking about way more things than she could know. 

‘Still, doesn’t this all feel very familiar? I guess the only differences being; we don’t have the same outfit on and it’s not our birthday party…’ She smiled, pointing out the obvious.

‘I was tempted, but I didn’t think it very polite to dress the same as the bride.’ You smirk, letting her swat your arm as she giggled.

‘There’s one more thing I need to tell you before we are separated tonight.’ She spoke, suddenly much more serious. 

‘Hmm? What would that be?’ You frowned, tilting your head. You always had this air of innocence around you, that’s something she truly missed. 

‘Robert knows about everything. Lucas came by around a few months ago so I had to tell him you knew. Lucas forced my hand; Robert has been looking for you ever since.’ Your eyes widened at this; he knew. Your father knew you knew. Was he going to take you away? Back to the palace? You didn’t want to stay here anymore, as much as you missed the luxuries, you much preferred being with Yoongi and the others. 

‘Oh, tall handsome pirate coming this way.’ She raised her eyebrows suggestively giving you a quick hug. ‘Come find me before you leave? I wish to say goodbye properly.’ You nod, letting go of her hands as she ran off to the head table. 

‘Sorry to interrupt, but can we go for a walk?’ He spoke, holding a hand out for you like the noblemen he had seen previously. You snickered at him, putting your hand in his. 

‘Actually, yes, there’s a place I want to show you…’ You whispered in his ear, giggling as the tips turned bright red. He truly looked devastatingly handsome tonight. The suit clung to his frame like it was made for him, hair combed and styled, he suited this look. Like a painting, a hand-crafted piece of art. 

‘So where are you leading me Miss? Are you leading me to my death?’ He gasps, placing his hand over his heart in fake shock. You just smile, smacking his arm, linking your hand with his. It feels like you never left, the hallways and staircases the exact same. By memory, you lead you both outside, the stables in your sight. You wonder if it was still there, after all these years you left it untouched, never told a soul about it. It had to still be there. Carefully you climbed the old rickety ladder, laughing in disbelief. Still here, if anything a bit dirty and worn from the weather, but still here regardless. 

‘So, you brought me to, what? See a mouldy old blanket?’ Jin teased, half way up the ladder since you still sat in his way. You scoffed, shuffling over to it giving him some space to climb up. 

‘No, I brought you to watch the stars idiot. But hey, if you’re not down for it…’ 

‘Haha, no, no I didn’t say that, move over!’ He rushed, crawling up beside you, looking at the stars through the gap in the roof. He snuck a look over at you, admiring the way the moon casted a shadow on your face, the deep blue, almost black, of the sky reflecting in your eyes. You glance over at him, smirking when you see he’s already looking at you. 

‘What? Do I look radiant?’ You joke, flailing your hands around your face, being overly dramatic to hide the blush growing.

‘Yes, actually.’ He speaks, not missing a single beat. 

‘You don’t scrub up so bad yourself pirate.’ You whisper into the silence of the barn, letting him balance his weight on one arm, facing you. 

‘Can I kiss you?’ He asked, the innocent question hanging in the air, you were never one to turn down an opportunity. Nodding in the smallest way, you let him lean in, his plump lips hitting yours slowly and gently. Out of all the kisses you had experienced so far, this one held the most love, want and meaning. It was a heavily emotional kiss, almost bringing you to tears. Before you could ruin the mood with tears, he pulled apart from you, looking over your face for a few seconds. 

‘God, you’re beautiful.’ He whispered before smashing his lips to yours once more. This time with a different mood, the feeling was different, it still exuded love, but with a feeling you were more familiar with. 

His teeth sunk into your bottom lip, causing a gasp to escape your throat. He chuckled at your reaction, sliding your dress up your thigh, slipping his hand under. You could feel the tingling of your skin, everywhere his fingers grazed erupted into goose bumps. You began unbuttoning his jacket and shirt buttons, slipping your hand into the fabric, marvelling at the warmth of his chest. The muscles in his stomach flexing with every swipe of your fingers, or scratch of your nail. His hips unintentionally jerked into your body, making you groan out as you felt his erection press into you. 

‘Jin, let me-‘ 

‘Quiet baby, there’s plenty of time for that.’ He mumbled, still chasing your mouth, hands laced in your hair. He pulled you into his frame, just savouring the sensations and feelings. He had been waiting for this since god knows how long. He wanted you since he saw you, since you were confirmed as a member of the crew. He wanted to be your first taste at sin, but he wasn’t, he couldn’t be. Now you knew they all wanted you, now you were sure of that, he couldn’t talk himself out of this anymore. He had to have you, and he was going to savour every damn second. 

‘Jin please. Let me do it.’ You beg, already fumbling to unbutton the dress trousers. He moaned at your eagerness, your genuine want for him. Instead of fighting you, he let you do as you wanted, quickly slipping the trousers and boxers down his thighs. You smirked at his size, holding the base with one hand, licking your lips as you sunk down between his thighs. 

‘Don’t hold back, I promise I know how to do it…’ You whisper, rolling the flat of your tongue over the tip before wrapping your lips fully around it. He groaned, throwing his head back and kicking his legs out straight. You were right, you knew exactly what you were doing. You knew how to drive him insane already, he wanted to thrust into your throat, to grip your hair and make you take it like the whores he fucked with. You weren’t one of them though, you weren’t some whore he wanted to fuck around with and dump. He wanted to treat you right, to cuddle you after, and run his fingers through your hair. He just wanted; you. 

‘Baby, god you’re so fucking good at this…’ He gasped, lacing his fingers in your hair, pushing your head further down. You swallowed around him, inviting him deeper into your throat. He cursed under his breath, swallowing the choked lump in his throat. Pulling away with a pop, you bite down on your lips as he catches his breath, running his hands through his hair. 

‘Why did you stop baby?’ He spoke, voice husky, shooting the electric feeling to your stomach. Instead of answering, you trail your hands down the lace of the dress, untying it. It fell off your chest, pooling at your hips. 

‘I’m needy. Let me sit on it?’ You whimpered, slipping your panties to the side to position yourself on him. He stopped you, sitting up slightly. 

‘If you’re going to be jumping on my dick, I’ll be watching every minute. Take the dress and panties off baby.’ He demanded, forcing you to stand and do as your told. You let the dress pool around your ankles, stepping away from the fabric, letting your underwear slowly drop beside it. 

‘That’s it baby, now how about you take a seat?’ He smirked, holding his dick with one hand, the other arm holding his head slightly up. You smiled back, giggling at his words. You slipped onto your knees over his crotch, dick touching your entrance already. He let out a sigh, feeling how wet you were, it leaking down his length. 

‘God baby, this wet from sucking me off? You’re such a dirty little girl, aren’t you?’ He teased, fingers digging into the flesh of your thighs, trying to hold himself back from thrusting into you. He wanted you to go at your own pace, but having you just balancing above him had him frustrated and impatient. Slowly, you slipped down his length, squeezing around him as you stretched to accommodate him. 

‘Why are you so big? That makes no sense, so selfish.’ You pant, ranting as you sink further and further down him. He just breathes out a laugh, ego inflating the more you complain or whine. Finally, he bottomed out, your ass hitting his pelvis, grunting out in relief. You were in full control here, well until he was bored of that. However, as of right now, you had full control over the situation. Instead of just bouncing straight off, you decided to grind and wiggle for a minute, to find where best to hit. He whined as you did that, clearly enjoying the sensation too, your walls clenched as you found the spot, groaning at the feeling. 

‘Is that the spot baby?’ He smirked, stroking your thighs, controlling himself. You nod, lifting your weight slightly, dropping back down pushing him right into that spot. He couldn’t stop thinking about how amazing you looked like this. Your perfectly styled hair was a bit of a mess now, you would have to take it down before you say goodbye to the princess. Your chest was flushed, cheeks too, Jin was sure he wasn’t fairing much better in that respect. You still managed to look beautiful, the fucked out look on your face making him want to leave marks all over you. He sighed, pulling your arms, forcing you to lie on top of him. You gasped at the sudden movement, flipped now onto your back. Pouting up at him, you cross your arms. 

‘I was having fun!’ You whine, being a bit of a brat. He smirked, pulling himself out of you to thrust back in hard. You scream out, covering your mouth instantly, you don’t know who was lurking about this late. 

‘Careful baby, or I’ll have to fuck that attitude right out of you.’ He growled, thrusting harder and faster into you. You could feel the tingling, closing your eyes to enjoy the feeling for once instead of trying to warn it was happening. He watched your face as you came, trying to implant it in his mind for life. He never wanted to forget that. Quickly, he pulled out, cumming on the blanket you lay on, off to the side. You looked at the mess, the innocent memory of this place now tainted. 

‘Should we get back to the party? It’s probably about time for us to leave.’ He whispered after a while of cuddling, his fingers running through your hair as you absentmindedly drew circles on his chest. Nodding, you stood, letting him help you put the dress back on, lacing it up for you. You lead him back to the party, careful not to get spotted by any staff or guards. 

‘I’m going to say goodbye, you round up the boys and meet me outside?’ You suggested, giving him a quick kiss before you ran off in separate directions. You heard your name being called, turning around to see just the woman you were searching for. 

‘I see your hair has changed style…’ She commented, smirking at you. Your hand trailed up to your hair, chuckling nervously. ‘I’m not criticizing I’m just happy it’s not Lucas, also I talked to your well-dressed pirate friends, they all have wonderful things to say about you so I’m not worried. Are you leaving?’ You just smile, listening to her talk about the boys was weirdly nice… 

‘Unfortunately so, I’m happy for you.’ She scoffed, waving her hand in the air. 

‘Don’t be like all the other airheads here, say what you mean.’ She narrowed her eyes, watching your face relax. You rolled your eyes at her, sighing. 

‘Fine, god you’re so stubborn. I don’t like him, he reminds me of your mother, very unfaithful. I don’t want you to get hurt so be careful okay?’ You tell truthfully, she just smiles through a choked sob. You went to apologise, but she wrapped you in her arms, pulling you into a tight hug. 

‘Truthfully, it’s okay. You remember the kitchen boy that was around our age? His mother is the head chef. We are in love, Franz is a front, I’m happy, I’ll be happy, just like we promised each other. Oh, and thank you. Now go, before mother catches you. Visit me okay?’ She whispers, pulling away from you, you just nod, running out of the palace, meeting the boys at the bottom of the steps. 

‘Ready to go?’ You smile, grabbing two of their hands, running back to the docks. 

Robert pulled into the docks, sighing. He had looked what seems like the entirety of the north for you, to no avail. You must have taken a turn somewhere, he needed to face the fact he probably wasn’t going to find you. For now, he should just come home, enjoy the princess’ wedding then search again. He looked over to his right, an unnamed and sketchy looking ship began sailing out. If he had known, or asked, he would have known it was a pirate ship. The one you were on, the one you had settled on for almost a year now. He didn’t ask though, he didn’t click, not until it was too late, not until you were already too far away. Not until he had already promised the Navy boys the night to themselves. 

He entered the palace, the party already in full swing, he needed to change and shower. Then he could enter the party like he belonged. When he was finally ready, he caught the back of Franz’s head, talking to guests. He tapped him on the shoulder, causing him to turn around, pissed off look on his face. 

‘Yes?’ He gritted, not letting go of the girl’s waist he was chatting up. Robert looked between the two, raising an eyebrow at the girl. Did she have no shame? She must know this was the man who just got married, she could be condemned to death for this! 

‘Franz, I’m going to leave, find me when this is done yeah?’ She spoke, not even trying to keep her voice down. Franz smiled at her, watching her ass as she walked off. 

‘I just came to congratulate you on your wedding son, but seems like you don’t really care about that, huh?’ He raised an eyebrow, looking down on the ‘Prince’ in front of him. He just scoffed, shaking his head at Robert. 

‘And who exactly might you be?’ He gritted his teeth, daring him to say something he can throw him out for. Before he could open his mouth, a voice came behind him. 

‘Robert? Franz? Is everything okay here?’ Both the men turned to Amelia; fake smiles plastered on their faces. 

‘Amelia! Darling, I was just asking your husband where you were, congratulations on the wedding, I’m truly happy for you.’ He spoke, face telling a completely different story, Amelia snorted out a laugh, gathering herself instantly. 

‘Thank you, Robert. Oh, you just missed your daughter, she left about an hour ago.’ The words rung in his head, alarm bells going off over and over. That ship, why didn’t he think? 

Your laugh echoed off the vast empty sea, falling onto your ass as Hoseok spun you around, throwing you both onto the ground. 

‘I swear, that’s how the old man did it!’ He protested, trying to dance like the men he had seen at the wedding. You just hold your sides, laughing at the others imitating the posh accents. 

‘Oh, don’t these dishes look delightful?’ Jungkook spoke, pointing at you and Hoseok on the ground. 

‘Oh, yes, if I wasn’t on a diet, I would eat them all up!’ Jimin returned, pouncing to tickle you and Hoseok. Yoongi just watched from a distance fondly. 

‘Guys?’ He questioned, breaking the laughter, all heads turning to him. ‘It’s about that time of year, are you okay with heading that way?’ He questioned, talking mainly to you. The rest of the boys knew, they knew every year. 

‘Yeah, I’ll set the course in the morning, it should take us about fifteen days give or take to get there.’ Namjoon spoke, nodding at Jimin to clarify. 

‘Cool, I’m going to head to bed. It’s late, don’t stay up too much longer!’ He chirped, heading to his quarters. You stood to follow him, waving goodnight at the boys. 

‘Yoongi?’ You spoke, creaking the door open. He stood in the middle of the room, slipping his shirt onto his body. You take a three second look, enjoying the view. 

‘Yes?’ He questioned back, smirking as you ogled him. He didn’t want to say anything, but the longer you stare, the more he wants to kiss you. 

‘Are you sure you want me there? Family is important, are we at that point?’ You question, fully closing the door stepping into the room. 

‘I want you there. I want you by my side every step of the way from now on, and I’m willing to wait for you. I don’t care how long, I’ll wait it.’ He clarified, stepping closer and closer to you. 

‘Are you sure?’ You ask one more time. He didn’t answer, just capturing your lips with his. Your eyes stay open in shock, but close quickly on their own relaxing into the kiss. The forbidden fruit. 

‘Sorry, I couldn’t do it anymore, I just, I miss you. I don’t want anything like that from you, I just missed that.’ He whispered, thumb grazing your bottom lip. 

‘Don’t be sorry. Just do it again, one more time?’