#not to clown on iowa but… i’m clowning on iowa

[faberkins]

Leviathan by Aaron Sandberg

[lenacopperleaf]

I’m in a black out region because of stupid CHICAGO?!

[netscapenavigator-official]

This is a very long-winded post that’s meant to be more of a philosophical journal. In this post, I explicitly support Kamala Harris and speak using a “royal we” tone about the American public’s feelings and perception towards her and past politicians. If you’re gonna whine about that. Go somewhere else. I’m not fighting. This blog is not a safe space for political nihilists. I will block you, on site, without hesitation.

I feel like one thing that people often gloss over when talking about Harris’s chances of winning is her charisma.

People make a lot of comparisons between her and Clinton, but I feel like a more appropriate comparison is Harris and Obama.

Obama was a risky candidate who was run during a time where voters wanted change. His young age and representation of Gen X was extremely useful in helping him beat McCain, who many people were concerned was too old to run. Obama was younger and less polished than other career politicians. He wasn’t afraid to be a little informal here and there, and that’s why people liked him! He could laugh at himself and his imperfections. He was one of the first modern politics to really run on the idea that he wasn’t the perfect little politician who could do everything perfectly. To the American public, he felt less like a snooty politician and more like one of them.

Clinton, however, didn’t have any of that. She was a well-decorated, career politician who many perceived as stuck-up and arrogant. I mean, given her vast record in politics, when running against a reality tv show clown, her campaign almost had this feeling of “we’ve got this one in the bag. It’s gonna be EASY.” And it’s that mentality which inevitably cost her the electoral college.

Harris, however, has what Obama has. If she wins, she’ll be the second non-Boomer president… EVER. People are tired of old people in politics. People are tired of conservative hate tornados. People are tired of America falling behind other first-world nations. And Harris represents a younger, more radical change. She isn’t afraid to laugh at herself. Every picture you see of her, she’s smiling. Every time she does an interview she’s poised, but not afraid to be down to earth and informal. And THAT’S her biggest draw.

I mean, the recent polls saying she might be the first Democrat to win Iowa since Obama in 2012 is insane. She isn’t following in the footsteps of Hillary Clinton or Benjamin Harrison or whatever other politician people are comparing her to. She’s walking on the foundation that Barack Obama laid. And imo, the way that people perceive her as “one of them” as opposed to a stuffy career-politician could very well be her most useful trait in her campaign.

I’m not saying she’s going to win. Idk what’s going to happen. But imo, her campaign has been a far cry from Clinton’s, charisma-wise, and for that reason, I feel like she has a better (but obv not definite) chance than Clinton did. She could still lose, but imo, she ran a far better campaign than both Clinton and Biden did, despite having a fraction of the time.

[meanwhileinstasiville]

In the “automotive file” from Talent since Ashland is HVAC’d till next month or so

1336 California plate at southtown market

302 GUJ at Clark Street, from his usual rolling up on me haunt of Iowa and nearby streets

We’d be remiss without red mini cooper at habitual Iowa street crossing on the way to the Ashland library; belonging, I think, to a firefighter, so there’s *that* problem with the mini cooper tailing, too. And yes, there are a lot of them as of a couple weeks ago, and always on the sinister side to the left. 

133 CNN at Case coffee. Not the plethora of red honda fit’s I’d become acustomed to, but all the same; -EJL red honda met me at the 99 intersection down from Collier on the way to Dollar General (which seems to have survived the fire, if you leave out the giant Snap Fitness next door in very “doesn’t get the paperboy news anymore color”.

122668 motorcycle thing, that has stalked me about Ashland for some time, and actively “leading” a mini cooper next to britt hall. But not before following a lithia.com plated van just a little to close beside the Zen Center as a I walked by. Suggesting it’s stalking and that guy knows it, and was trying to hide out while tailgating.

Ashland library director drives a Subaru in an uncommon color that has since turned up at all kinds of intersections. Again, just as I reach them, beginning with 031-KSU driving in a circle (yes, they’re ALL the same color as the library director’s) at Hargandine where it dead ends into Lithia Park above the theater.

There’s very gay Phil, with dog “anna” that once sought me out over and over down at Ashland railroad park to offer “milk and cookies” (which I’m sure is some kind of a euphemism). Appearing not only at sixth street, but at the sixth street alley when I reached it on the habitual walk route to the Co-op from across town.

There’s Pioneer street down from Ashland library, where not only did a cooper appear *at the top of the street* meeting me at the Fly Shop corner where I was currently standing, but then, a Metal Masters service van followed me the length down it, teriminating in the Grange Co-op, where *another* mini cooper pulled up just as I reached the building. (And these are all socketed intersections along my walks to and from places; before they were blue ford’s, as next to Get n’ Gear alley. And then, red honda fit’s. Now they’re coopers for the most part.)

There’s a surveillance immediacy in punctuating my comings and goings with coopers, driven by people who presumably have more to be doing than walking the streets. Their time, their money, their cars, their stuff. 

A priori, there were a few coopers in *all of Ashland*. A redheaded woman in the vicinity of the high school on Iowa leading in. The firefighter’s clown car, as I mentioned above. And perhaps one more on Auburn or so. Now parked at the tops and bottoms of many streets, rolling up on me anywhere an “ethnic theme” can be spotted on a business’s sign. 

Any and all of them, to the point of rolling up by Xerxes, then by the nun’s house with prayer flags up on Siskiyou and so on and so forth, the *entire length of Siskiyou* to downtown Ashland. White dodge neon’s used to be “the thing” of maximum antagonism, until they branched out into other colors but still neons.

Coopers next to what was the katwok. Next to the theater building. Next to the black swan. Rolling up to park in front of me when I crossed Siskiyou next to the fire department. It’s not random and it seems to serve no purpose save amusement to someone.

Maybe it’s the automotive wholesaler based here.

Maybe it’s a high school dropout with abnormal pull with people who drive certain cars. 

Maybe it’s anglophile econ major from SOU party college and the brother of the dropout.

Maybe it’s the FBI nursing some theory that seeking me out with certain makes and models of cars at the *same locations along the way* any time of day or night that I happen to pass there, will piss me off. And it does. 

It’s not an “impediment to housing” not an “obstacle to employment” that’s being treated by any of this. It is sort of pursuant to legal action in the sense that “intending someone be late to work because you’d find it amusing” is still wrong, crowdsourced, and very much syndicated activity not unlike gangs. And it’s not funny.

[awxareness]

Man at least you guys can make your politics funny, we’ve gotta contend with nightmare levels of clownery in the States. I mean I’m sure you have your share of political clowns but omg I’d be laughing forever if someone did this with a candidate when they’re off in like, the Iowa cornfields or Pennsylvania country

Australian Federal Election 2001: Pranksters follow around Prime Ministerial contender Kim Beazley in an attempt to sneak fake microphones into news footage

Follow for more Batshit Moments in Australian Politics

[all-it-takes-is-pixie-dust]

Vended fan?

FUCK YES!!!!!! The more my friend group and I listen to Vended, the more we fall in love with them and their music. Of course we love that the band has two sons of Slipknot members AKA Griffin Taylor is Corey's son, and Simon is Clown's (Shawn Crahan's) son, and listening to this band is making all of us really excited for the future of metal music. Griffin sounds like a clone of his dad, and his screams remind me of early 2000s Slipknot. my friend group and I are beyond excited to see them next month when they open for Slipknot in Iowa!!!! We know who is going to carry on Slipknot's legacy one day for sure, and we are happy to be fans of this band before they really hit it 'big' but that is going to be coming!!! They are learning from the best of the best, and the more I listen to Griffin and his vocals/screams I just get more impressed with just how much Griffin sounds like his dad, and my metal heart is very very happy and impressed with their talent!!! When I was listening to their song Nihilism especially, I thought it was Corey I swear to god??? Slipknot 2.0 baby is very much alive with this band, and now I’m hoping we have another 40 years of Slipknot with Vended but speaking of Slipknot they better never ever ever ‘retire’ anytime soon they are not allowed to as far as I’m concerned

[purrisstilton]

Week of July 15th

This week was a little crazy and filled with so many blessings, if you believe in that sort of thing haha. Some many great things happened this week and I wanted to share and collect my thoughts in one place.

Podcast

I was asked to be on Victor Devonnes Burlesque's podcast. I was supposed to record on Thursday of this week but I had to push it back for a photo shoot ( speak on that further down) I am looking forward to being able to share my story and the things that inspire me. Is it weird that I'm excited to chat about my thought process on how I go along creating an act or a costume? Its not super special but ice always been curious to see how my differs from others. like where does someone inspo come from when they are creating a new persona? When I first understood I wanted to do burlesque and create a persona so different from my own life. I sought out different looks and fashion eras I liked as a child. As a black kid growing up in Nebraska idolizing the spice girls and their fashion I dared not mimiced it in fear of being called ‘fast’ or white because of my interests. The ability of being able to LOUD and BRIGHT with my fashion and accesories made me excited to create this persona.

Even though I created this being that was supposed to ‘free’ me I still found myself being stifled and having some fear about being.. too done up or coming across as a clown. A fear I've just learned how to shead and understand that my art wasnt created for the male or even female gaze. So I am looking forward to that. Thank you for coming to my TED TALK

Podcast pt2

A decade ago I used to work for a podcast based out of Florida. I would interview porn stars or actors that appeared on tv shows on max, hbo etc.. C list or D list celebs. I was playing with the idea of possibly doing a podcast and chatting with different queer artists chat about their queerness, art and other shit that inspires them. I know what youre thinking.. Purris, everyone has a podcast now a damn days. ITS JUST A THOUGHT. I bring it up because the person who run it reached out to be about becoming a personality again. So I asked him if he was looking for new programming. I’m still working on ideas so I am able to present a stable idea to him. Who knows, could be nothing could be somthing.

Daisy Jones Locker Shoot

I had my first photoshoot with a local business based out of Nebraska and I had an absolute blast! the director of the photoshoot saw a reel of mine and really enjoyed the aesthetic and asked me to join the photo shoot the following week. So I wanted to share a few images :) I can see myself coming back to the photo spot for personal photo before the summer is up. Iowa is good for that lol.

[dalyntha]

Why is it always like, “well, you can just get back on the horse you rode in on”? Why didn’t we keep updating this saying, not only for accuracy but because it’s far more hilarious.

“Listen, Mister, I don’t know who you think you are, but you can just get right back into that carriage that you rolled up in on, and go right back to the grisly streets of London, where you came from!!”

“Hey is there a problem here? Because you know, you could just climb right back into that big rig cabin that you drove in on, and trucker your little ass right back to Cincinnati!. I dont care if you have sixteen wheels and a bed in the back!”

“Ahem!! Listen, people, if there’s going to be an issue, you all can just climb right back into the clown car that you and your fifteen coworkers came in on, and take your creepy job back to the circus, I’m sure they have noticed their fifteen weird ass clowns are gone “

“John, I told you once, and I’m not going to say it again. I don’t like you disrespecting my wife, so you can just climb right back onto that unicycle and meander away back to your own crappy marriage”

���UH UH, I don’t think so—you can’t be dipping your toes into the river Styx while I’m crossing l it. You people can’t even hold it together while I get you to the frickin afterlife. I can just turn this thing around and you can get right back onto the funeral pyre you came in on, and here’s your stupid eye coins, this currency does nothing here, ugh.*i hate this job, I can’t believe I didn’t finish trade school, ugh *

“Mindy, you are a liar and a cheat! I think you should just tie your lying feet right back into the roller skates that you rolled in on before you stole my boyfriend, and just keep on going till you get back to the trailer park!”

“Well, good sir, I’m of good stock, I nearly perished during the long journey here, but I persisted. You, however, should just get right back on the Mayflower, and have them take you back to England where you belong. I hope you catch your death of scurvy!”

“Amelia, I know you just got back, I mean we were looking for you FOREVER, but if you’re going to be a snarky bitch because (mimics Amelia) I can fly a plane and you casaaant…..! Then you can just fly back to the Bermuda Triangle and get lost again”

“And then I was like, ha, look grandma—you may not make me pay rent, and you may let me sit on the furniture without the plastic covers on them, but honestly if you think I’ll just stand around and take it while you make fun of my gaming schedule, you can crawl over to your electric wheelchair, hoist your wrinkly shit into the seat, and just leave. I’ll open the front door even, and then I can play World of Warcraft any time i damn well please. My girlfriend is on there, she lives in Abu Dhabi—but she’d love to see Iowa in the spring”

“One small step for man, one—-oh hell, wtf? JIM I SAID I GET THE FIRST WALK! I had my special phrase all ready to go and you just come out here in the middle of it, all giggly, floating around like this is a damn game! This is serious! Grr, just get back into the stupid space ship we came here in and go back to earth. Maybe if you leave me here I can finally get some peace, if it’s not you people it’s the wife, nagnagnag!”

“Lucinda. Did you seriously take my last newts eye and toad spit? How the hell am I suppose to reanimate a corpse if you’re off taking my important ingredients to make love potions to give your dumb friends?! Here’s your broomstick, straddle that stick, will ya, and let it magic you back to your apprenticeship, because you never should have passed!”

“Omg. No one is getting along, there’s just blood and chaos every where. Is this war even worth it? Over a woman!!?? Helen can’t be that great! *man nearby overhears* HEY DID YOU JUST SAY HELEN ISN’T THAT GREAT?! bro, get your friends, load up into that wooden horse you came inside of, and stop blaspheming Helen!”

“Donkey! Fiona just told me you said she needs to go on a diet? Ogres don’t diet, you idiot! Just climb back onto your dragon wife and have her return you to your terrible family, it’s not my fault they left you and the sheep took you in, leaving you with no donkey friends and trauma you deal with by making jokes! Jokes that now have my wife breathing fire up my green ass hotter than ANY dragons breath! This time when you are getting a lift try not to impregnate her again, you have like eight donkey dragon babies already and they’re a terrible example for Fergus, farkle and Felicia!”

“I thought you were going to propose, you know… the romantic ride here, the picnic on the grass, us dating for ten years…. But if you’re just going to tell me you’re not ready yet, you can climb back into that hot air balloon basket and let the thing take you back to your dumb Subaru. I can not believe it was a five hour ride here and I thought I was at LEAST going to end up with a decent rock on my hand!”

“Yay you’re here! I’m glad your mom brought you to the playground! You what? You want to play with ben instead? But I waited all week!!!! I’m going to tell Ben you pooped under the slide, so you can just get back into the little red wagon that your mom pulled a mile to get you here, you big meanie!”

[samdeancass]

Requested by Anonymous

Pairing: Sam Winchester and Dean Winchester x witch!reader

Halloween Masterlist 

Halloween Event Rules

Halloween Prompt List

You and the boys were currently on a case in the middle of Iowa, in a rather creepy looking toy store. There has been a number of complaints of freaky goings on and people being terrorized by ghosts, and what better way to spend Halloween night than to hunt ghosts?

Sam walked in front of you and Dean. In front of you, you spotted a toy clown in the middle of a shelved cabinet and decided to have a little fun. You nudged Dean. “Watch this..” You waited until Sam walked over to the cabinet and used your powers to turn the clowns head towards him.

Immediately, Sam stiffened up at took 10 long strides away from the toy. “G-guys, I think that clown’s looking at me. Please turn it away. You know how much they freak me out.” You and Dean stifled your laughter as Dean turned the toy around.

You carried on your investigation until you noticed that Sam had made his way back to the cabinet again. The same as before, you turned the toy and waited for him to react. Only a few seconds later did Sam let out a scream and ran out of the  store. “You guys can finish the investigation yourselves. I’ll wait in the car.” 

You and Dean bent over with laughter at the sight of Sam. Once you had both calmed down, you continued your search to find any clue as to who could be haunting the store. In the back room Dean found a slip of paper that wasn’t addressed to the current owner and knew that he had found the name of the culprit.

You both headed back out to the car where Sam was sitting, staring straight ahead and tightly holding the dashboard. Dean slid into the drivers seat and chuckled at his brother. “Seriously Sammy, with all the creepy sons of bitches we’ve seen, you’re scared of a freaking clown toy?! A childrens’ clown toy. That’s hilarious!”

Sam looked over at his brother and narrowed his eyes. “Just drive, Dean. Before I buy you a one-way plane ticket out of here. Then we’ll see who’ll be laughing.” Immediately, Dean’s expression and demeanor changed. He turned on the engine and started to drive towards the only local graveyard.

The drive was silent; the boys giving side glances and death stares at each other whilst you sat in the back seat, thriving off the chaos you’ve caused. Dean parked the car and headed around to the trunk to gather the tools you needed. 

You had to admit, walking through a dark, creepy graveyard on Halloween night sent shivers down your spine. You were still new to the hunting business and even though you’re a witch, you were still learning the ropes of the supernatural world.

“Please guys, remind me again. Why are we digging up a dead body in a creepy graveyard?” You all stopped at a grave and Dean handed you a shovel. “We need to dig up the body of the ghost to burn it so they can rest and be at peace. Otherwise, they’ll just keep terrorizing and killing people, at that’s not good.”

You all started to dig until Sam piped up. “You know Y/N, for a witch, you really don’t know much about the world you come from.” You raised an eyebrow. “Well, Sammy, I know enough to be able to do this.” You raised your arms and flicked your fingers, making Sam hover in the air.

“C’mon, Y/N. Put me down.” You began to snigger. “No, not until you apologise.” When he didn’t, you raised your arms a little higher, Sam rising along with you. “Alright, I’m sorry.” You nodded and put your arms back to your sides, sending Sam flying to the ground, you and Dean in pleats of laughter.

“That’ll teach you to underestimate a witch!”

[captainsophiestark]

Cedar Rapids, Iowa

Jim Kirk x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Fandom: Star Trek

Prompt: "Did you carve a pumpkin?" "Yeah, I carved a pumpkin that looks like a clown." "What clown?" "You."

Summary: Y/N and Jim Kirk grew up together as childhood best friends. Y/N had a childhood crush on him that developed into something much, much more. Still, they never took that extra step, instead staying best friend even as Jim went off to join Starfleet and explore the stars. Now, Kirk's coming home to Iowa for the first time in a while, and things might finally start to change—especially if the rest of his crew has anything to say about it.

Word Count: 3,439

Category: Fluff

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

I finished arranging the cookies I'd made on a plate, then set them carefully on the table in the living room. I'd spent all morning preparing, and with some classical music playing in the background and the house completely decked out for Halloween, everything was perfect.

My best friend since I was a kid, Jim Kirk, was coming back to Iowa for the first time since he'd left for Star Fleet Academy. He was on shore leave for the week, along with the rest of his crew, and he was bringing a group of friends home to visit.

Of course, "home" for Jim didn't mean the house he'd grown up in. It hadn't meant that for a long time. Especially in those last few years before he left, home for Jim had become me and my place.

He'd become home for me too, although I'd never quite been able to tell him. When he left for Star Fleet, I'd cried for days. The only thing that made me feel better was that he was finally happy. Finally safe from all the baggage in his house.

I'd gone to visit him a few times in San Francisco, and we video chatted regularly, but this was the first time he'd come back to Iowa.

I couldn't wait to see him.

I snagged a few chips from the table just as a knock sounded at my door. I practically jumped for joy as I headed to the front of my house and flung open the door to find Jim standing there, a mile-wide grin on his face and a crowd of people behind him.

"Y/N!" he cried, wrapping me in a tight hug before picking me up and swinging me around. I laughed and hugged him back just as tight, and after a second he set me down gently on the ground.

"Jim! It's so good to see you!" I laughed.

"You too! I missed seeing you in person," he said with a smile. We stayed like that for a second, before one of his other friends cleared his throat and he turned around to introduce him. "Y/N, these are my friends and my crew. This is Spock, Bones, Uhura, Scotty, Sulu, and Chekov."

"Hi!" I said, smiling and waving to each person in turn as they returned the gesture. "I've heard so much about you all, I'm happy I finally get to meet you in person! Please, come in!"

"It's nice to finally meet you too," said the only girl in the group, Uhura. "Jim talks about you all the time."

"He does?" I asked, turning around to look at my best friend. He gave me a smile that was clearly trying to hide a grimace, and I looked back at Uhura with a slightly faster heartbeat than usual.

"Oh yeah," she said, smiling as she took my arm and we walked to the living room together. "It's like meeting a living legend."

I grinned, feeling my face heat up slightly as the group made it to the living room. I sat down on the couch with Uhura on one side and Jim on the other. I swear Jim had a slight blush around his neck, but I didn't want to get caught staring at him, so I couldn't be totally sure.

"So, Y/N, you probably have lots of embarrassing stories about the captain," said Sulu, looking at me with a massive grin on his face.

"Oh, you have no idea. I want to hear about everything he's done on the Enterprise too, though! Maybe we could trade a story for a story?"

Bones, who sat across from me, looked at me with excitement in his eyes and an evil smile on his face. He and Jim had been friends since the academy, and other than me, Bones was his best friend.

"That sounds like a damn good idea," said Bones. I grinned right back at him and took a breath to launch into my first story, but Jim cut me off before I could.

"You know, I'm sure there'll be plenty of time for that later," he said. I started to protest, but Jim spoke over me with the most obvious subject change of all time. He looked at me with that trademark James T. Kirk smile and spoke. "Did you carve a pumpkin?"

"Yeah, I carved a pumpkin that looks like a clown," I said, turning to face him more clearly and smiling right back.

"What clown?"

"You."

The whole room burst out laughing, Jim and I included. He barely wasted a second before throwing an arm around me and pulling me in tight to his side, and I'd be lying if I said my heart didn't skip a beat.

"I missed this. Bones just can't quite measure up to the same level of teasing I always get from you," he laughed.

"Clearly," I teased back. "You've lost your edge since the last time I saw you. I was expecting you to fire a shot back for the pumpkin remark."

"All in due time, sweetheart. All in due time."

I grinned, and the eight of us laughed our heads off together. Jim left his arm around my shoulders, and I sure as hell wasn't complaining as I leaned a little closer into his chest. With the two of us together and the easy laughter and conversation between his friends and I, it felt just like when we were kids, but a million times better.

*****************

The next few days were just as amazing as the first. We went hiking, showed everyone around the town we grew up in, and had a good old-fashioned road trip with the soundtrack of all Jim and I's favorite classical music. Not everyone loved classical music as much as we did, but Jim and I quickly decided we didn't care.

The eight of us sat by a pond Jim and I always visited as kids on the fifth day of their leave. I couldn't quite believe I'd have to say goodbye to Jim and all my new friends in just two days.

I was trying very hard not to think about it.

Chekov and I sat on a picnic blanket by the water's edge, watching our friends play in the water with smiles on our faces. Spock, of course, was mostly observing, although Jim and Bones were doing their damnedest to drag him in with them.

"How long before they give up against that Vulcan strength, do you think?" I asked amusedly.

"Based on previous experience? I do not think they will."

Chekov and I shared a laugh, then fell back into comfortable silence. I watched Jim with a smile on my face, and after a few seconds, Chekov turned to me.

"So, how long were you and the captain together?" he asked. I whirled around to look at him, shock written all over my face.

"What?"

"Oh! I am sorry, I did not mean to pry-"

"No no no, I mean, why do you think we dated? Why... why did you assume we were together?"

"Well... you just seem so close. And the way you look at him, well..." Chekov was flushing bright pink now, but I refused to let him off the hook. "And, well, the last time anyone looked at me that way, we, uh... we were not just friends."

Chekov was burning up with embarrassment, and honestly, I was too. Thank God the others were too far away to hear our conversation.

"No, Chekov, we've never been anything other than platonic," I said. I looked back at Jim in the water, and as much as I just wished this conversation would end, I couldn't stop myself from speaking again anyway. "Although I'd be lying if I said I hadn't wished for that at least a few times."

I couldn't bring myself to look back at Chekov. I kept watching Jim, and after a little bit, he noticed me. His face broke into a smile, and he gestured for me to join him.

I sighed and moved to stand from the blanket, but before I could, Chekov caught my arm. I looked back at him curiously. He wouldn't try to rehash the conversation we'd just had, would he?

"Y/N, for what it's worth..." His eyes darted to Jim in the lake, and then back to me. "He's never told me himself like you did, but... well, I would be very surprised if the captain did not feel the same way about you."

I stood frozen, staring at Chekov in shock. He just stared back at me, trying to get his message across with his eyes as well as his words.

"Y/N!"

Jim broke me out of my spell when he shouted behind me. I turned, and he motioned excitedly for me to join him in the water. I glanced back at Chekov, and he gave me an encouraging nod. I ran down the slope towards Jim, the young Russian's words echoing in my head.

"Finally!" called Jim as soon as I got close enough. "Bones gave up, and Spock moved back up the hill. I need someone else to help me."

"Sweetheart, I really hate to be the one to break it to you, but Vulcans essentially have super strength. You've either got to let it go, or wait until he relaxes his guard enough that you can get him when he's not ready for it."

Jim grinned and wrapped an arm around me as soon as I got close enough.

"I missed you and your help planning things, so much," he said. "How did I ever get by without my favorite partner in crime?"

"From the stories Bones and Spock told me, you almost didn't."

Jim just waved me off. "Ah, I'm fine. Better with you, though. Now, what should we do while we wait for Spock to relax? If that's even something he does."

"Hm..." I looked around at our gathered friends, trying to think straight through Jim's proximity and my conversation with Chekov. I blurted out the first idea that came to mind. "Chicken fight?"

"Great idea!" yelled Jim. "Be my partner?"

"Oh! Yeah, of course!"

"Great! Hop on."

With that, he ducked down into the water so I could get on his shoulders. I took a deep breath to try and calm myself, then put one leg over each of Jim's shoulders. He put his hands firmly on my thighs, and I tangled my fingers in his hair to try and help keep my balance.

I couldn't decide if this was a great idea or an idea that was about to kill me, but I decided I'd worry about it later.

"CHICKEN FIGHT!" yelled Jim, instantly grabbing the attention of the rest of our friends. "Y/N and I against all comers! Who thinks they can take us down?"

Uhura and Scotty quickly teamed up, Uhura popping onto his shoulders as Scotty took a few steps towards us. Chekov sprinted to the water too, quickly teaming up with Sulu as the two of them hovered just close enough to not be in the way.

"We've got winners!" called Sulu. Jim and I each shot him a thumbs up at the same time, then quickly refocused on Uhura and Scotty.

"This is an injury waiting to happen," grumbled Bones from the sideline. I just grinned, and from Bones' irritated scoff, I knew Jim was doing the same thing.

****************

We spent the rest of the day at the pond, and despite numerous attempts, no one managed to beat Jim and I. We'd been chicken fight partners since we were kids, and now that we were both grown up and stronger than ever, absolutely no one else stood a chance.

Jim and I laughed and talked at the front of the group as we walked back to my house together, his arm still wrapped tightly around my shoulders. It seemed to be his favorite place for me to be, and I certainly agreed.

Despite how close we'd been all day and my conversation with Chekov, Jim and I fell into the same old routine over dinner and the next morning without a shred of difference. Chekov kept giving me significant looks whenever Jim and I were next to each other (which was often), but I just couldn't bring myself to do anything. What if it messed up our friendship?

How was I supposed to act on my feelings after hiding them for more than twenty years?

That night, we all sat around a campfire Jim and I had started in my backyard. The crew of the Enterprise was set to beam back up early tomorrow morning, their last day of shore leave, to get everything ready to take off into space again. Jim and I were curled up together by the fire as Bones strummed a guitar. We all swayed and talked and laughed, and I even caught Spock with a small smile on his face.

I just wished it could be like this all the time.

"We should play a game," mused Scotty, swaying back and forth with a smile on his face and a drink in his hand.

"Oh yeah? What kind of game?" asked Sulu.

"Oo! How about truth or dare?" suggested Chekov. I turned and looked at him, then around at the other two, suddenly suspicious.

"Truth or dare sounds good to me," said Uhura. I gave her a wary look, but she didn't look at me. "I'll start. Chekov, truth or dare."

"Truth."

"Did you cheat against me and Scotty in the chicken fight?" The look she fixed him with was absolutely terrifying, and I didn't blame Chekov when he stuttered his response.

"Well... uh, I... I may have done a little fudging..."

"Mhm," said Uhura, interrupting him before he could get any further. "Just wait. I'll get my revenge."

Chekov turned white as a sheet, but Uhura didn't pay him any attention and the rest of us just chuckled. After a few beats, Chekov got it together enough to continue the game.

"Sulu... how about you?" he asked weakly.

"Hm. I'll try a dare."

"Alright. I dare you to... stand up and try the Russian squat dance I was teaching you last month."

Sulu groaned, but took it like a champ anyway as he stood and did his best to complete Chekov's dare. As someone from Iowa, I didn't think he was half bad, but by the way Chekov was laughing he clearly didn't meet up to Russian standards.

"Alright, enough of that," said Sulu, sitting back down with a smile on his face nonetheless. He scanned the circle with his eyes, and I had a heart attack when he looked at me, but thankfully he didn't ask me. After a second, his eyes landed on Bones.

"Doctor. Truth or dare?"

Bones huffed, but didn't even pause his strumming as he spoke.

"Truth."

"Do you ever sing to go with your guitar playing?"

"Yes. But not for any of you."

We all laughed, and I caught Bones trying to hide a smile. He kept playing as he looked around the circle, finally choosing his target.

"Jim. Truth or dare."

"Dare," said Jim with a grin. I could've predicted as much.

"Great. I dare you to kiss Y/N."

I froze, and I felt Jim do the same. I couldn't get myself to turn around and look at him, although I could tell from the grins on everyone's faces that they'd planned this together.

Jim cleared his throat, and slowly, I turned around to face him. He looked as nervous as I felt, and his gorgeous blue eyes roamed my face before meeting mine.

"We don't have to," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I don't want you to do anything you're not comfortable with."

"And what about you?" I whispered back. It took conscious effort not to look at his lips, and despite my best efforts, I think I might have failed a time or two. "Is it something you want to do?"

"I... I mean, I can't say I'd mind," he breathed. My heart sped up, getting close to a million miles an hour, and I smiled.

"And I definitely don't mind. So why don't you do it already?"

Jim grinned and huffed a laugh like he couldn't believe this was real. Honestly, I couldn't either. But I decided I didn't care as he slowly closed the distance between us and his lips met mine in the softest, most perfect kiss I could've imagined.

Despite the people around us, I could only focus on Jim. The rest of the world seemed to fade away as he kissed me harder and wrapped his arms around my waist. I ran my hands through his hair and kissed him back with just as much force as he kissed me, my whole body warming with every second we touched.

It felt simultaneously like a lifetime and an instant before someone around the circle cleared their throat, and Jim and I slowly came back to reality. We broke apart but didn't separate more than an inch, our heavy breathing mingling as we stared into each other's eyes.

"Well, that sure worked better than I thought it would," mused Bones. I managed to tear my eyes away from Jim to look at him, and he had a smug smile on his face. Next to him, Spock was shaking his head.

"Highly illogical."

Bones snorted, and everyone else just laughed and grinned at me and Jim. I honestly didn't know what to do with myself—my head was still spinning from that kiss—but thankfully, Jim had it slightly more together than I did.

"Alright, I think Y/N and I are going to have to tap out of the rest of truth or dare," he said. He paused, then looked back at me. "We have a few things we need to talk about."

I smiled, a swarm of butterflies erupting in my chest and stomach. The rest of our friends whistled and cheered as Jim and I stood and walked hand in hand into the house. I did my best to block them out, but my skin felt like it was on fire.

As soon as we got into the house, Jim turned to me.

"So, I guess we should probably talk-"

I cut him off by pulling him in for another heated kiss. He didn't do anything at first, apparently shocked that I'd made the first move, but he quickly got over it and kissed me back.

"You wanna talk?" I asked, breathing heavily as we pulled apart and I ran my hands through his hair. "I've had a crush on you since the first time you held your own against me in a cattails sword fight. You're my best friend, and one of the best men I know. I've been hoping we could be more than friends for years."

"I must be dreaming," muttered Jim as he wrapped his arms tightly around my waist and pulled me closer to him. "I've hoped for this a million times, but I never thought you'd feel the same way."

"Well, good news flyboy. I do."

Jim grinned, then crashed his lips against mine again. We worked our way back through the house and up the stairs, until we crashed into the bed in my room.

"Are we really doing this?" asked Jim.

"Hell yes we are," I replied. Jim kissed me again, but when he pulled back this time, he didn't look as happy as before. "Jim? Are you sure you're okay with this?"

"Oh, hell yes I am," he quickly assured me. "I just can't believe I have to leave you tomorrow."

"Maybe not," I hummed, pulling him back down to be closer to me again. "Maybe I can apply to be an alien biologist or something and join the crew."

Jim looked elated, and he kissed me hard before pulling back again.

"I bet you could do it. You're the best vet in Iowa, and I'm sure at least some of those skills transfer. But... I don't want you to uproot your whole life for me."

"Jim. You are my whole life. Besides, I really can't complain about an opportunity to see the stars."

Jim grinned and kissed me again, then muttered in my ear. "I'm about to make you see stars."

I giggled (actually giggled), unable to stop myself. I was just so happy to finally be with Jim the way I'd wanted to be. I'd found my soulmate a long time ago, and now that we'd finally realized we felt the same way about each other, I sure as shit wasn't going to let him go.

[myworthlesslife]

if you’re a _____ fan i assume

slipknot edition

IF YOU’RE A COREY FAN I ASSUME:

you think you’re better than everyone and if i’m guessing, you probably had a vkei phase once.

IF YOU’RE A MICK FAN I ASSUME:

you probably love iowa and you’re most likely a sweetheart or try to seem that way.

IF YOU’RE A JOEY FAN I ASSUME:

ngl, you probably had the vkei phase. but im gonna guess you hate every slipknot album past vol. 3, and probably like black metal a lot.

IF YOU’RE A CRAIG FAN I ASSUME:

you’re practically non existent, but you’re probably quiet and panic when your teacher calls on you in class.

IF YOU’RE A SID FAN I ASSUME:

you’re a little annoying and get in people’s personal space. you most likely get embarrassed easily and embarrassing things you did years ago still haunt you.

IF YOU’RE A JIM FAN I ASSUME:

you’re either tall or short. you honestly probably had a vkei phase too. and you’re probably obsessed with disasterpiece and old web stuff.

IF YOU’RE A CLOWN FAN I ASSUME:

you try to sneak yourself out of following the rules and try to pay your friends to do stuff for you, which most likely works. you may be a little rude or intimidating too.

IF YOU’RE A CHRIS FAN I ASSUME:

you may be a tad bit mean and probably hate or love jay a lot, and you definitely prefer the original 9.

IF YOU’RE A PAUL FAN I ASSUME:

you’re really nice and sweet, and try to be nice to everyone. if someone says something mean to you or about you, you probably cry or get super embarrassed.

just my take on this. try not to get upset or anything:)

[norahastuff]

You’re already home and you don’t even know it (5.7k)

Dean gives Cas a ring. It doesn't mean anything, though. Except it does. Of course it does.

(This has been sitting in my drafts for a few months, figured I should finally just post it.)

Excerpt:

Dean’s going to kill Sam. No, that’s not good enough - Jack will just bring the asshole back. He’ll give him a perm while he’s sleeping. Or buy him a subscription to that clown fetish magazine he saw once in that Gas n’ Sip in Iowa. 

A few weeks ago, Sam had come home from a hunt with Max Banes, buzzing off of cheap gas station coffee and a new life mission.

“Dean, these hunters have no idea,” he said, pacing by the war room table as Cas and Dean looked on bemused. “The simple stuff we take for granted.”

Dean glared at him. “Sam, it’s 3 am! Can we do this in the fucking morning?”

“It’s not like you knew it all when you started,” Cas pointed out. “You learned through experience.”

“Yeah, but look around, Cas! Look at all the books and information we have here. Instead of hoarding it, we should be making it available for everyone who needs it. It could save lives.”

Thus began the slow arduous process of combing through decades of research and digitising files in order to create the database Sam insisted would revolutionise the hunting world.

That's how Dean finds himself sitting in his room with Cas - on a Friday night no less - working their way through the seemingly endless piles of reports.

Dean’s officially done. After three straight hours of researching Vetala migration patterns, his brain is fried. He takes a deep breath, pushing the laptop aside and dropping his head down onto his pillow. 

“I’m callin' it, man,” he says, rubbing a hand over his eyes before looking up at Cas who’s sitting at his desk, a pile of books in front of him. Dean’s about to ask him if he feels like grabbing a beer when he sees that he’s not the only one whose attention had wandered. 

Cas is ignoring the tomes in front of him, choosing instead to focus on the braided leather bracelet around his wrist, a look of intense concentration on his face as he stares down at it.

Ever since he ditched the trench coat, Cas has been eager to experiment with his new look. It’s been innocuous for the most part - who knew Henleys came in so many colours? - but there have definitely been a few uncomfortable moments. Like that time Cas had picked up a blue linen shirt and Dean had been struck with the vivid reminder of a burned-out broken Cas from a miserable future that never came to be, and he’d had to force himself to bite his tongue. What exactly was he supposed to say? ‘Nah, man, don’t buy that shirt. I’m worried it’s a slippery slope from billowy sleeves to amphetamines and nihilism?’

Yeah, Cas has a lot of patience for Dean’s bullshit, but even he has his limits.

Right now, Cas is slumped over in the chair wearing sweatpants and a Sinéad O'Connor t-shirt. Dean had tried to talk him out of buying it, but he’d just rolled his eyes and said, “I enjoy her, Dean,'' and clicked the button for next day delivery.

Dean shouldn’t have been surprised. Cas has a lot of opinions on both 90s power ballads (for) and the enduring legacy of the papacy (against), so he really should have seen the Sinéad O’Connor appreciation coming. 

The bracelet is new, though.

Read more on ao3

[gamer-logic]

The States and 2P America

So the 2ps get to the 1p world after making a truce with their counterparts and escaping their collapsing world where they're the only survivors. They then proceed to live with their 1ps in a crazy roommate sort-of situation. The only problem is that when Allen gets to Alfred's house it's this huge mansion and one of the states opens the door making him very confused as he never had states of his own and his idiotic 1p is the father of 50 kids!

"What the *beep* Porkchop?! Since do you have fifty little brats runnin’ around?!"

Alfred gives him a full rundown on finding/raising the states and then proceeds to draft him into babysitting! At first, Allen tried to ignore them but then faces the painful realization that leaving 50 states alone is never a good idea. After finally rounding up everyone he could find and freeing the thirteen (most responsible being Delaware and Virginia) from being trapped in the barn by their younger siblings, he does a headcount.

Allen: Okay one, two, three.....45. We're missing five! Where's Nevada, Hawaii, Alaska, Texas, and New Mexico?

Random state raises their hand: I think Nevada's in Vegas gambling again. He goes there a lot to triple his allowance!

Another state: I remember Texas said something about rodeos and bull riding all the way to Dallas. Also, Alaska and Hawaii left a note saying something about hanging out with New Mexico and Tony in Roswell!

Allen: But we're in D.C.! How did they get all the way over there in 3 hours?! *States shrug while Allen looks close to screaming into the void* Okay, everyone into the bus! We're going to get your siblings!

Cue cross country road-trip like the hangover where, after hours of getting lost in Disney Land, Delaware’s nagging about being the oldest and most mature much to Massachusetts chagrin because he’s clearly got better colleges, getting into a dance contest in Maine, keeping Arizona from getting stuck in the Grand Canyon for the hundredth time, Wisconsin participating in a cheese eating contest, Maine cooking seafood, Georgia making 30 peach cobblers, Colorado making a giant igloo, Washington and Oregon's hippie phases making a return, playing hockey in Minnesota, fishing Michigan out of the great lakes, New Jersey getting stalked by the Jersey Devil who’s like that stray cat that keeps following you around, keeping New York from starting a fight at Yankee’s game, gator wrestling in the Florida everglades, getting dressed for Mardi Gras in Lousianna, getting lost in Iowa’s biggest corn maze, the Dakota twins almost killing the Carolinas for trying to graffiti Mt. Rushmore (there’s a bit of a twin rivalry), avoiding the secret service less they get caught and ratted out to Alfred, seeing Old Faithful at Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming and trying to keep Alabama from sticking his head in it on a dare, crossing the Mississippi, running from rodeo clowns that Tennessee angered after he picked a fight with them for insulting his country music, finally picking up Texas with his new Rodeo bull-riding championship belt and tying him up with his own lasso, various misadventures, including recuing Idaho from an accidental marriage, in Vegas that will stay in Vegas, finding/grounding Nevada from gambling after he almost lost 50 grand and Wyoming to a circus, they finally arrive in Roswell.

Allen, too tired to care at this point: Alright! Who's this Tony New Mexico, Hawaii, and Alaska said they we're with?

Maryland: He's Dad's cool alien friend from 1947. New Mexico likes hanging out with him in his spaceship playing pranks on Britain and the other nations!

Allen hardly believes her but is too tired to care at this point: A-Alien? Sure, why not?! Let’s just go get them! Maybe we’ll run into Nessie too!

Iowa whispering to Ohio: But isn’t Nessie in Scotland?

Ohio: *shrugs*

After falling into a series of booby traps a la Alaska, they finally track down Tony’s ship in Alaska and find the three playing video games with Tony. It finally registers in Allen’s mind that there’s a real freakin’ alien in front of him playing Mario Kart.

Allen: T-t-that’s an….

State: Yep!

Allen: And he’s playing video games….

States: Yep!

Allen, not able to handle this anymore: *faints*

After a not so long drive back to D.C. courtesy of New Jersey’s driving, Getting KFC in Kentucky for supper with vegan salad for Allen and irritating said state in the process, and almost forgetting Rhode Island, they finally make it bake to D.C. and settle Allen down on the couch, gathering around him to watch a Marvel marathon acting like the innocent little angels they’re not. They also duct tape California’s mouth shut and tie her up with Texas’ lasso because she wouldn’t stop complaining about watching her newest one instead. Alfred finally arrives home from a meeting in Berlin around the time they finish Doctor Strange and sees Allen crashed on the couch with the states around him.

Alfred: So did you have a good time with Uncle Allen?

States: We sure did!

Wisconsin bragging about his trophy made entirely of cheese: I’m the king of cheese once again!

Alfred: Great! Now it’s off to bed everyone!

States: Aww! But we wanted to stay up and play with Uncle Allen!

Alfred: No buts, you can play again tomorrow! Now off to bed!

The states start trudging up to their rooms with California finally being freed. Georgia putting a blanket over Allen, Hawaii putting a hibiscus print pillow under his head, and Maryland putting a note on the end table as they go out. Allen finally wakes up and Alfred, watching the rest of the marathon notices.

Alfred: You were awesome with them dude! I’m going to let you babysit from now on!

Allen: *Screams and faints again*

Alfred: Heh! He’s so excited! *Munches on popcorn*

The next morning Allen wakes up and reads the note: “Thanks for taking care of all of us today! We had a lot of fun, Uncle Allen! From the states. P.S. You were super cool playing baseball at Yankee stadium! Teach us sometime? Also, there's a salad for you in the fridge! :)"

He crumbles the note and puts it in his jacket trying not to break his tough-guy persona. But later when no one looking, he takes it out with a small smile and thinks these brats aren’t so bad after all.

Eventually, they grew on him and Allen comes to consider the all the states like his own secretly loving it when they call him Uncle Allen. They may be little gremlins but his gremlins and if you so much as touch one hair on their head you’ll get a face full of his nailed bat!

Just another day in the Jones’ household!

Meanwhile In Canada:

James is babysitting the provinces for Mathew and is currently in drill sergeant mode pacing in front of the nervous, with the exception of Quebec who's extremely excited, lined-up provinces. Kumajiro (cub) and Kuma (adult) are just chilling and watching them with whistles around their necks and cute little maple leaf hats courtesy of British Columbia.

James: All right, listen up! I’m going to teach you all how to rough it and survive out in the wilderness! Now, who knows how to start a fire?

All the provinces turn to stare at Manitoba.

Manitoba: Oh, come on! I set fire to Papa’s flannel shirt collection one time!

James: Okaaaaay ignoring that, everybody get into groups of two and I’ll assign jobs!

Nova Scotia raises her hand: But there’s thirteen of us!

James: Fine then, eenie meenie miny mo… *Points to Prince Edward Island* you! Prissy pants boy you're with me! We’re gathering firewood!

P.E.I. looking up from his mirror: Excuse me!? I’m not gonna get these designer clothes dirty picking up filthy wood!

James *facepalms*: Give me that! *Proceeds to chuck the mirror into the lake much to P.E.I’s horror and Ontario’s glee!*

(They don't get along because of P.E.I.’s arrogant personality and constant declaring himself in charge despite Ontario being the oldest and having the capital).

James: We’re out here to survive off the land which means no cell phones, no internet, and definitely NO BEAUTY PRODUCTS. NOW IS THAT CLEAR?!

Provinces: Sir, yes sir!

James being the big softie that he is but won't admit: Good! Now we meet back here by sunset and we’ll roast marshmallows!

Everyone hurries and gets on with their jobs with Alberta somehow ending up stuck in a tree and harassed by woodpeckers and Yukon and Saskatchewan being the most successful by communicating with/befriending a family of beavers that help them build a shelter. By the end of the day, James also feels a sense of fatherly protectiveness and pride over the provinces like Allen. he also secretly loves it when they call him Uncle James. Nunavut also manages to find bigfoot who helps gather food much to James’ shock!

[ponydanza-in-a-canza]

got any interesting Spirk headcanons?

Yes!! Well I have a couple.

1. James T Kirk is an alcoholic. Mainly cause I'm an alcoholic but. I like to do a lil movie fusion here with Georgie boy dying in the Kelvin but with the extra additional spice of Tarsus IV happening. Also, good ole jimbo is from the midwest, an area of the USA notorious for booze and alcoholism. But part of him joining starfleet was pike saying "dude, cmon. Your liver is begging you for mercy and you are so smart. Be smart." Anyway as an alcoholic I struggle with being sober, so finding a soulmate in a guy who doesnt drink but understands why people drink is so important!!! so i like to imagine when kirk starts having bad nights, when chekov's locker is lookin a lil too interesting, spock gently takes his bf and asks kirk to tell him stories about Iowa. These stories range from the villisca axe murders, to why Iowa corn is better for livestock feed than illinois corn is, that one time he drove Frank's 400 (I cant count it might only be 300) year old vintage car into a quarry bc he hadnt seen his mom in months, to sam helping him get into his first barfight, to him testing out of his grade because being born in the black truly gave this clown a galaxy brain. It's the reminder of the intricacies of life that help spock hold jim accountable and healthy :')

2. Spock and kirk are the godparents to Bones' daughter, Joanna. It was like a retroactive thing, but those two are the fun uncles that swoop in and take the kiddo for a weekend whenever bones cant bc of a medical emergency.

3. The Kirk Farm is still a working farm, where kirk gets to show spock how they test the soil, and spock immediately breaks it down into the most minute science that Kirk just basically puts the farm in Spock's name. People accuse Kirk of letting Vulcans Take Over Earth. Kirk just holds up his yields and goes "weve never had yields this massive before, I'm honoring IDIC and yall can suck my Enterprise Sized Dick" (he gets yelled at for said statement, and threatened with demotion until the United Federation of Planets learns their crops are resilient to the strain of fungus that causes the Tarsus incident)

4.) Spock is SUPER tactile when they're alone. Like. Think cat who's convinced if they dont get chin scratches They Will Die. So Jim has to learn how to do his morning and evening routines with this leech of a vulcan hanging off him. Spock could be slouched over his shoulders, maybe some fingers gripping the inside of his elbow, jim is laying in bed and getting headbutted until he runs his fingers through spock's hair, etc. This also applies to melds, which spock will sometimes initiate while Jim's dreaming (and Jim's dreams are just making out with spock on various places on the enterprise and on planets theyve visited together)

[meanwhileinstasiville]

Dear Bryan, a blue truck met me at the airport turn-out right as I passed, and then at the fabrication shop a “beardy” (what I call people who try to resemble religious effigies) got into his car exactly as a walked up to it, as it was parked right next to the road. Around the corner, someone dragged his garbage can up to the road, to *meet me* exactly at that point in the corner. 

When I got to the overpass, there was a “pool masters” truck (because my latest gay stalker is a deviant in addition to probably a serial killer), backed up by yet another blue truck. A red honda is parked at the house I normally cross the road to, before the elementary school. At the corner I turn of of iowa on the way to the library, another red honda. I had said that swiss/hungarian woman was my shake with your religion because if “she’s for nazis” then QED your religion is for nazis and “not for me”. These sorts of vehicular encounters represent syndicated stalking, until someone proves otherwise. And the sort of back alley that leads to this library has an arborist nightmare tree on it, that has historically been asplundh or one of the serious pruning outfits tending to it, that today (after the red hondas and the like) some company with a giant “p” on the side of their vehicle (I think it’s supposed to be “p” for phil because ms13) that I’d never seen before. 

(I don’t do hints, impressions, and/or suggestions)

As I have tried a number of things to get around this stuff, I suspect that based on the number of years it has gone on, that “this is how things are around here” and this is what passes for “keeping the peace”. I also think, that being the case, that being harassed and made out the way I’ve been (in the absence of evidence) for someone’s amusement or otherwise, is alternative to “we have some options here” i.e. getting shot on the sidewalk or shanked in or out of prison.

I think all those people out on the mountain road were trying to tell me that I was being watched. And that’s true. When I slept out in the woods, I got routinely spotlighted by BMX riders with headlamps at 2-3AM. People have met me on Guthrie. People have met me on Scenic, on Granite, all the way out on Nevada street, even up on Guthrie to tell me (as a couple I might add) “that’s too much comfort” on the very day I got trespassed from the college library. The couple left their home and walked *all the way down* to the Holly street intersection, to say that to no one in particular. When I had visited my mom, one of two or three of her neighbors was *always without exception* waiting on the sidewalk outside her apartment on the way to her door. Every single time. Sometimes the maintenance guy would be waiting outside the manager’s office. To say nothing of the “Bob Marley” wall hanging clad “lookout” apartment down on the avenue. I’ve had people meet me on Rose street, two towns over. Out at the lake here in Ashland, I’ve had Eric’s “gopher” bighouse we used to call him, seek me out in a sheltered cove or two when nobody else is in sight. On Tolman. On Mistletoe Road. The bike path at all points of access from where it starts here, all the way through Medford. 

I’ve been flown over by paragliders flagging nazi colors. After being buzzed by airplanes (because someone has it in their head that flight PTSD equals being scared of airplanes), I’ve been flown over by helicopters. And since Ashland is a system of impressions that people are supposed to get, nobody tells me what any of this stuff is supposed to mean. A “suicide is painless” still in service Vietnam chopper was among the more interesting of the helicopters, btw. 

I’ve been met by a clown car of armed Mexicans with a “TRIGUN” vanity plate. A lot of -650 (feo) plates. Mexicans say I’m ugly with their signaling apparatus. White people follow me around with mini-coopers and some pride flagged cars and trucks (and I’m not gay).

Something says they’re trying to correct a misperception that I have, which is actually a misperception on their part. I haven’t had medical or dental care outside of emergencies since I was a teenager. That’s nothing to do with gang “pecking orders” that I’ve never belonged to, or social classes that seem far more concerned with me personally than I am with any of them, or even privilege levels. And I *would* call that persecution if asked, and if I had to prove it.

Edit: I’d love to hear about nazis from the horse’s mouth, because there’s a security guy at the library named “lee” full of lake wobegon tales about having everything, in the place of the “first” library security guy who was as close a resemblance to duane as they could manage, and a reference librarian lee-expy named cody who floats around upstairs. You know, where Ken Burns works; no, not the documentary guy. I could see where people would be confused having never visited, though.

[sophieakatz]

Thursday Thoughts: Sophie Loves Passion

I took a once-a-week seminar my freshman year of undergrad. There were nineteen of us in the room, all sitting in a circle at seven in the morning, and the only thing we had in common was that we’d gotten the same scholarship when we were accepted to the University of Iowa. My classmates included doctors, scientists, engineers, an International Studies and Chinese major who switched to Physics and Astronomy a few weeks in, and even a dancer. I was the only English major, and I quickly gained a reputation in that class as a fangirl. In our discussions, I always found myself linking the texts we read – mostly Greek mythology and scholarly articles – to some book or movie or show I loved. And my classmates quickly learned that I could happily go on and on about these stories I loved forever.

On the last day of the class, someone said something to me about that. I don’t remember exactly what they said, but the implication was that it was unusual for me to love things that much. Certainly no one else in the room (with the exception of the Physics/Astronomy major, who is a wonderful nerd and still a dear friend of mine) was so enthusiastic about that nerdy stuff.

“But you do love something that much,” I said, addressing the whole room. “I bet if I talked to any of you, you each have something that you love so much you could go on and on about it forever! It might not be stories, but everyone’s a fan of something!”

They all smiled and chuckled and shook their heads at me. But I still believe that I was right. Passion is an innately human quality, and being a fan is as common and natural as breathing. My classmates might not have recognized it in themselves, because they weren’t enthusiastic about the things you’d find celebrated at Comic-Con. But it’s impossible to go through life and have nothing matter to you, and for me, knowing that something matters to someone else is the most beautiful thing in the world.

My friendship with that Physics/Astronomy major in large part consisted of me listening while they talked and talked about dark matter and telescopes and all kinds of complex physics concepts that I didn’t understand at all. But it was, and still is, such a joy to listen to them, because it matters to them. They light up like a star, and I get to bask in that light.

I was thinking about this friend when I pitched the idea for “I Love This Thing So Fricking Much” to Melissa, my creative partner at Throu The Window Media. It would be a simple interview podcast between me and a guest who would tell me about something they loved, uninterrupted, for three minutes. (Initially I wanted it to be ten or fifteen minutes. Melissa suggested we shorten it to five minutes to keep the episodes bite-size while still including a Q&A session. After recording a test episode where I interviewed myself – a recording which will never see the light of day – I decided to shorten it to three.)

Of course, neither of us knew if there would be an audience for a show like this. But I could only assume – I could only hope – that there were other people out there who just plain loved listening to another person be enthusiastic about something, even if the topic meant nothing to them personally. I could also only hope that I’d be able to drum up enough guests to release this show on a weekly basis.

We’ve been creating the #LoveThisThingCast for over a year now; we’ll be releasing Episode 59 today. I’ve chatted with guests about actors and animals, clowning and crafting, literary movements and linguistics, movies and magic and traveling and tabletop games and so, so, so much more. And holy cow has it been a light in our lives this past year! We really couldn’t have known back in early March 2020 just how much we’d need this project, this reliable source of joy and enthusiasm. I love hosting the show, and every week, my phone lights up with texts from Melissa, talking about how much she loves listening to the episodes as she edits them.

And though we haven’t gotten much feedback from our listeners yet – our social media posts get a handful of likes each week, and my mom is our most regular commenter – I like to think that this little show has been a source of joy for people besides the two of us. According to Anchor, our episodes have been downloaded almost three thousand times, and I’m pretty sure my mom isn’t responsible for all of them (though she is and always will be our biggest fan, and I love her very much). (Hm, I wonder if someone will choose “I love my mom” as their topic on the show someday!)

I’m not sure how to end this blog post, so I’ll take the opportunity to self-promote. “I Love This Thing So Fricking Much” streams on Apple Podcast, Spotify, and a bunch of other streaming platforms thanks to Anchor. We release new episodes on Thursdays. You can find me and Melissa at @throuthewindow on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and right here on Tumblr.

And if you have something you love so fricking much – and I know you do – tell me about it! Send me a message, reply to this post, or come on the show and take the whole three minutes for yourself. I can’t wait to bask in your light!