#not to be gay but holy s h it. holy shit holy shit

[devotioncrater]

and if i said i would throw myself into a fire just to keep her warm? and if i said i would cut out my heart just to give her something to eat?

[piratefishmama]

For one night only | part 1

“Huh?” Oh, how eloquent of him, truly, what a wordsmith. Steve only smiled wider, not a fake one either, it reached his eyes in a way that made them sparkle and Eddie couldn’t believe he’d just thought about a guys eyes sparkling when he smiled good lord how gay was he?!

“I’m Steve, I know you’re a metal guy, right? All that loud music do your hearing in, sweetheart?” Steve didn’t need to do homework on his clients, the company did that for him, but he did get access to the guys profile when he accepted the invite, the profile containing bits of information such as occupation, height, weight, age, etcetera.

He’d not even thought twice when the invite pinged into his inbox shortly after he’d switched his availability to SFW only, not for any particular reason. He just wasn’t feeling the need for sex. Wanted to be wined and dined, maybe flaunted, and pampered, an awards event with a gods honest rock star who might be accepting an award that night? Sounded perfect to him.

“S-sweet… Sweetheart?” He would later deny how high his voice got as he parroted that word, Christ, get it together, Munson! “Music… uh… loud, yep, yep loud music, that’d be it. Uhm… you uh… Steve, Steve Harrington. Right.” Hey, um, brain? How about you start working. Sound good? Steve didn’t remember him, he didn’t remember him, what a crushing blow, but… could he really claim to have expected anything less?

His high school crush not remembering his name, or who he was, or what he even looked like. Yeah, it was a little crushing, but Steve had always run in different circles. He’d never been cruel to him or the D&D gang, but he ran in the circles that had been cruel. Circles containing people now working in office 9-5’s or... as devastatingly handsome escorts, holy fuck.

A smile like that didn’t deserve to be judged by association, though. They weren’t in high school anymore. They weren’t in high school, and he was a rockstar. He did not have any reason to go all wibbly-kneed over the hottest man he had still ever seen. How was Steve still the hottest man he’d ever seen? He was a goddamn rockstar, he hung around celebrities every other week and here he was mooning over his high school crush again, when said high school crush didn’t even know who he was, again.

“Steve Harrington, that’s me. Are you going to let me in or are we going to go through everything in the hallway, I’m not fussed either way, but discretion is usually preferred in these circumstances.” Eddie had had his kinks listed in his profile, of course, but considering the SFW nature of the evening, he didn’t think he needed to worry about that blatant ‘Expeditionist’ kink among the others that he’d definitely looked once or twice at in interest. The security guards seemed to be fighting back smiles, professionalism an all that jazz.

“Y-yeah, yep, c’mon in Steve Harrington, into my hotel room, yep.” Jesus H Christ. He hung his head in shame as Steve let out the most charming of laughs and walked in when invited, the subtle breeze as he passed by carrying the scents of jasmine, bergamot, a note of amber undergrowth, and... God he didn’t even know but it smelled pricy and delightful. He shut the door to block out the subtle snort from the security guard on the left as he struggled to hold back his laugh, shoulders trembling as he fought to hold it back.

Shut up, Darrell.

“You seem kind of stuck on my name, should I be concerned?” Steve turned around, the backdrop of his window overlooking the city behind him, fuck, how was he still so handsome? What the shit was in the Harrington's DNA to create such a masterpiece?

“Uhm...” To tell him, or not to tell him, the band would probably blow it unless he could get to them and tell them to zip it, but... keeping it from him felt dishonest. Starting anything, even a loose acquaintanceship with an escort shouldn’t start with dishonesty, but... did he really not remember him at all?! “You... don’t remember me, do you?”

Steve tilted his head a little to the left, brows furrowing a little in thought “I’ve never accepted an invite from you before, have I?” Ouch. Alright then. A particularly vindictive little gremlin on his shoulder declared he should keep the connection a secret, see where dishonesty took them, but his little angel was thankfully much louder.

“N-no, no, uhm... we ah—we went to school together, Steve.” It was out there, in the space between them, Steve seemed surprised but didn’t answer, clearly trying to remember. “Super senior? Stood on tables and yelled at people in the cafeteria for conforming to the man? D&D club president...? Any of this ringing any bells?” Steve’s gaze dropped to the carpet, eyes searching, brows furrowed further. “It’s OK, man, it was a long—”

“No no, I... shit, I got knocked around a little in high school. The old man had me in boxing to make me a man, I guess. I wasn’t very good at it, so I uh... my memory isn’t what it should be, concussions an stuff, but... did we talk?” Oh, understanding dawned on him.

Steve used to just appear in the halls, looking like he’d gone toe to toe against a goddamn brick wall at random. Perfection painted in purples, blues, reds, and yellows but never not perfect.

“No... no we didn’t, it's OK...” and it was, it wasn’t Steve’s fault that his old man had been a douchebag. “Best place to start is fresh I guess!” He could be totally normal about this. He held out his hand “Eddie Munson.” Steve’s smile returned, radiant and kind as he reached over and took it. His hand larger, warmer, his grip strong and his fingers impossibly soft.

“Steve Harrington, nice to officially meet you, Eddie.”

Part 3

[animebw]

HOLY SHIT

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

okay up spoilers below the cut for Jellyfish Can't Swim in the Night but

IT'S ACTUALLY GAY

WE HAVE AN ACTUAL ORIGINAL YURI ANIME ON OUR HANDS

HOLY S H I T

[safyresky]

Scrimbly Jacqueline 46/52: POV: the last thing you see before you're stabbed and your chocolate is stolen along with your nice fabrics and shiny things

aka, Pirate Jacqueline!

tbh I'd never given much thought to her pirate fit? I always pictured her dressing like my dnd pirate character Aster lol, which was greens and browns. But then I was like. Dani. Dani. They loved colourful fabrics and shit, them pirates! And Jacqueline can change her wardrobe using SNOW AND ICE. So....let's give it a go!

And so I did! And voila!

I knew she wore a big floppy hat for sure, from the get go, with feathers--though I only decided on the amount and colour while scribbling concepts in one of my older sketchbooks!

I once again used this handy dandy webbed site and went through the styles of the golden age of piracy (roughly 1650 to 1720, which is when she was active) and then built the fit from that

The feathers are warm bc summer sprite lineage, and a purple one bc I like purple and also think it's deffs in the winter sprite palette!

I added some wintertime plants too, just for funsies 🤭🤭 there's snow drops and holy in that bitch!

The corset/bodice/stays is early half of the century; the clasps across it have snowflakes in the middle, that's what the white streak is lol

The white swirls on the jacket and boots (tho I forgor to put 'em there) and hat are all just frost! Her frost usually looks swirly on smooth surfaces :3

The jacket is a mix between mens jacket's in the late 1700s and a ladies riding fit, I believe

She deffs had a half thawed, have frozen look going on with the hair! The humidity deff wouldn't have let a freeze job stay put for long.

I can't decide if it was as pictured, or reverse (roots brown, ends snowy), or like a kind of like. Weave? Mix? Marble cake? I can't think of the word I am looking for for this but IT WILL COME TO ME

BUT LIKE. SOME FROZEN TENDRILS, SOME THAWED ONES

She dual wielded usually! Deffs had a pistol somewhere, and is deffs strapped with daggers--that's why she's got the baggier pants instead of a more fitted fit (lol). I think she was pretty okay at throwing them!

Her crew was mainly women and she took in anyone trying to escape "bad" conditions--interpret that how you will! Needless to say, it was a very very gay ship lmao

When steamships came around and crackdowns on piracy really began, she made sure each and every one of her crew was settled down nice with a substantial sum before doing lady knows what to her ship and running off with a goddess to go live amongst ancient all female warriors for a bit and learn some cool new fighting techniques >:)

Also please take this bonus scribble I did while I was scribbling the concepts because it made me. f e e l t h i n g s

[where-are-the-spooky-gays-2]

I'm back to band gays you can't stop me (both school band and rock band HCs will be present)

School Band:

- despite his chaos, Remus is actually the best player in his section

- Virgil isn't half bad either (going with sax on this one)

- Virgil has a solo once and Remus is staring with such "good googily moogily" desire that he almost misses his section's entrance

- at least one person in his section begging him to just stop being gay for one night so they can have a good concert (he doesn't) (don't they see Virgil with those black piercings to match his suit?) (and that perfect eyeliner?) (why don't they get it?) (Remus is a hot mess)

- Virgil once asked Remus why he was staring by asking "what? See something you like?" and Remus could've barked

- Virgil stares at Remus a lot more than Remus thinks (Remus thinks 0 times) because Remus cleans up really nice for a concert and Virgil's about to be twirling his faded-purple bangs and biting his lip piercings over this boy

- "25 bucks says they're dating before the end of the year" "you're on"

Rock Band:

- they both fumble flirting so ridiculously hard that they don't get each other's numbers and Roman has to give them to each other later (he is Big Disappointed)

- They text for a few days and Roman sees his brother genuinely excited over this boy and Romans like "c'mon, my best friend??? You picked my best friend???? Sorry Pat— MY BEST FRIEND?" but he's not angry just exasperated

- Remus gets brought to many many more concerts now (both as guard dog protection because, while Roman can protect himself and is very certain of it, he still doesn't like going random places alone. Personal headcanon of him, don't mind me AND because Virgil starts inviting him personally)

- How do you feel about Remus drooling over Virgil while he plays guitar? What feelings does this inspire? Why am I reading this like a therapist?

- Virgil will eventually write a song about Remus but it has so many metaphors that it takes Roman two months to figure it out (and the WRATH he rains down upon Virgil because WHY DID HE GET A SONG BEFORE ME WERE BEST FRIENDS but it's all in good fun)

- maybe Roman finds a pookie in one of Virgil's bandmates. Who knows.

— 👑

Y E S I fucking L O V E A L L of this!!! First thing's first I absolutely A D O R E the fact that despite Ree's chaos he's the best in his section (Vee can agree he totally doesn't stare and listen 24/7 no that would just be too Gay what do you mean he got up from his spot just to invade Ree's personal space as he plays /lie) And as for the Rock band one I L O V E them just being too Gay to function while Ro is just like "Holy shit here just have each other's numbers" and is still surprised they even got together XD (Ree D E S E R V E S scary Dog privileges and to answer the question on how I feel about Ree drooling over Vee while he plays Guitar is as he S H O U L D because hot damn that sexy Emo knows how to shred and he wrote a song about him manz is A W O O G Aing hard and I don't blame him)

[underworld-park-offical]

TOLKIEN: Can you believe this shit, Jimmy?

JIMMY: H-h-h-hey

JIMMY: D-d-d-d-don't d-d-d-diss s-s-someone w-w-w-with b-b-b-big d-d-d-dreams 

JIMMY: N-n-n-not cool

TOLKIEN: I will if said dreams are ridiculous and stupid

TOLKIEN: Like being a jackass influencer

STAN: Can we shut up about Craig being a Dollar Store Addison Rae, please?

STAN: I'm getting a migraine listening to this idiotic babbling about how many likes he has

STAN: Just stop, he already does it enough

KYLE: Didn't you start bullying him though?

KYLE: Because it was funny?

STAN: Well it's not now sooooo…. shut up

CLYDE: WHO WAS MOVING THE POINTER THINGIE ON THE BOARD PLEASE CONFESS I WILL CRY

KENNY: I thought you were “manly”

CARTMAN: Woah Kenny, it is 2023 and you’re still throwing around male stereotypes?

CARTMAN: You’re getting C A N C E L E D 

CARTMAN: GUYS KENNY DOESN’T THINK MEN SHOULD CRY

KENNY: HE LITERALLY SAID HE HAD BIG MAN HANDS

KENNY: HE ADMITTED TO GOING TO HOME DEPOT????

KENNY: WHAT AM I BEING CANCELED FOR TELLING THE TRUTH?????

CRAIG: Wow, Kenny, and I thought we were friends, Smh my head

KENNY: WHAT????????

TOLKIEN: Can you move things, Mr. Spirit, sir?

CRAIG: That was so  gay of you

CARTMAN: Why would you assume it was a man???

TOLKIEN: Why would you assume, it's an it?

CARTMAN: ….

TOLKIEN: Exactly

CRAIG: Preach 

CLYDE: IT'S MOVING IT'S MOVING IT'S MOVING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

KENNY: CLYDE SHUT UP!!! AND STOP MOVING, I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING BEHIND YOUR FAT HEAD

CLYDE: I'M GONNA CRYYYYY

KENNY: GOOD

KYLE: S….u…..r……e

CRAIG: Sure?

CRAIG: So the ghost wants to be basic?

CRAIG: Lmao based

STAN: Oh my god shut up

STAN: Please.

TOLKIEN: It could have just used the yes, why would it go through so much effort to give an answer?

CLYDE: Maybe they want to be best friends and are worried about messing things up or being impolite?

CRAIG: That's so based of them, frfr, lol

STAN: A ghost wanting to befriend a bunch of high, lowlife teenagers?

STAN: Yeah, I'm not buying it

CLYDE: F….u….

CLYDE: AWHHH

JIMMY: N-n-n-n-nice g-going st-st-stan, you r-r-ruined our ch-chances of be-be-bef-f-friending C-Casper, a-asshole

STAN: There is no way you actually believe this, right?

STAN: We are all in a simulation

STAN: None of this is real

STAN: We are all in a coma because the government wants to control us

STAN: Trying to make us all boy kissing gays

STAN: But not me, no

STAN: I'm smarter than all of you, so I know I can't be controlled

STAN: This Ouija board is the way for the government to mind control us

STAN: Do not be deceived.

TOLKIEN: Shut up Stan, quit talking out of your ass

STAN: Ass….A…S…S……Actual…..Super…..Sexual…..Sexual as in….Homosexual….

STAN: YOU'RE A GOVERNMENT SPY!

KYLE: Ignore him, Tolkien

TOLKIEN: Have been.

STAN: YOU’RE ALL CONSPIRING AGAINST ME!

CRAIG: Lmao holy shit I need to record this

STAN: YOU'RE ALL JUST MAD BECAUSE I KNOW THE TRUTH!!! YOU ALL ARE BRAINWASHED!!!!

CRAIG: Stan…. bffr… smile for the camera

STAN: NO!!! THOSE CAMERAS PUT MICROCHIPS IN YOUR HAND LIKE THEY HAVE THE VACCINES

CRAIG: Is he /j or /srs rn?

KYLE: He's serious, unfortunately

KYLE: Let's just move on before I get an aneurysm

KENNY: Good idea

KYLE: Is…. anything moving?

TOLKEIN: Oh I don't know, Kyle, can a blind person see?

KYLE: ….

TOLKIEN: No, exactly

CLYDE: IT'S SO DARK IN HERE I'M AFRAID OF THE DARK!!!

TOLKIEN: No, Porkchop, you aren’t

CLYDE: I AM NOW!!

STAN: Everything is all so dark

STAN: It's what they want

KYLE: It's what who wants? STAN: Aliens…. they want to steal our sun…

CRAIG: Haha lmao imagine believing in aliens, couldn’t be me

JIMMY: Wh-wh-wh-what's that n-n-noise?

JIMMY: C-C–C–C–C-C-Craig…. Is th-the ac on?

CLYDE: TURN THE AC OFF YOU MONSTER!!

CLYDE: LEAVE US BE!!

CLYDE: WE WANTED TO BE FRIENDS BEFORE YOU TOLD US TO GO FUCK OURSELVES!

CLYDE: BUT NAY! NAY WE SAY! CLYDE: WE, THE HUMAN COUNCIL

TOLKIEN:...... What-

CLYDE: SAY GO FUCK YOURSELF

CLYDE: GOOD DAY SIR OR MA’AM CARTMAN: OR MX!

CLYDE: OR MIXTAPE

CRAIG: Lmao okay slay, ate, ate and left no crumbs. Not a single crumb inside, bro ate the plate too frfr

(EDITS MADE BY @Pissblanket)

[star-ar512]

if you don't mind tell me about this signalis i know nothing but your reblogs have me fascinated

hell yeah, for sure i don't mind. SIGNALIS is definitely a game that deserves recognition and i'll be perfectly happy to spread the word.

took my sweet time with this because i was debating whether include spoilers or not, and ultimately decided to not include them for the sake of new players.

not like they'd immediately ruin the whole story, as it is remarkably complex and many people who completed the game more than once claim to have needed to look up information to properly understand it.

so, i have not quite 100%'d the game yet, even if we're approaching that status; still, this game makes you want to play it again.

reasons why SIGNALIS is worthy of praise:

- stunning visuals. from the "basic" isometric 2.5D gameplay to the carefully crafted cutscenes; not to talk about the animations and the other scenes in the game that aren't 2.5D. there's a level of detail which is surprising.

the art is so "appropriate"? i can't convey properly how much i love the art.

- the intro. SIGNALIS' intro has to be the raddest and most breathtaking intro a game can have. it managed to overwhelm me even before the game properly began.

- this game includes a fuckton of secrets, only one playthrough is not enough to find them all.

also playing it more than once makes you appreciate what you thought was not worthy of attention or only caused you confusion.

- the game fucks with you. more than once. not elaborating on this, or it'll ruin the surprise(s)

- the game fucks you up and changes your brain chemistry!!! try to not cry every day after completing SIGNALIS challenge (failed).

- the soundtrack is incredible. definitely worth the $8 on bandcamp (hours and hours of your brain getting wrecked and repeatedly hit with an active stun prod. worth the exchange)

jokes aside, each single piece is extraordinarily fitting to each instance it is used in.

- the story is packed with raw fucking emotion. it can and will leave you bewildered more than once, especially during the first time you'll play it. then you'll just cry the next times

- the gameplay is so good??? like holy shit. it is rightfully challenging, but not impossible without a guide. i'd advise against using one, because you can progress fairly easily with your own brainpower; also it feels way more satisfying once you get what you have to do.

if you're familiar with these kinda horror games, they often make you feel like you're perfectly alone and that adds to the spooky ambiance. in this case, i felt like we were a little less alone, thanks to [this space intentionally left blank].

i got so "nostalgic" at like halfway i wanted to begin the game anew. this has never happened with any other game

- the care about every detail. at first, you'll probably think "yeah this is all disconnected"; but then...everything pieces together perfectly

- the intentionally left to interpretation story. some things are clear, many others aren't. that's the charm of the story, so many theories can be made about it.

when i first finished the game i was like "what? what the fuck? h huh??? bruuhhhhh"

it was clear everything wasn't. i didn't understand shit and it was so beautiful -> brings you to play the game again (2)

- women. robot women everywhere. robot women with abs and neck armor. robot women with guns. (also no feet!!!! for some reason that makes me feel comfortable)

robot women with deep voices and big hands.

extremely tall robot women.

robot women with broad shoulders and red eyeliner.

robot women with an undercut.

do you really have to wish for anything else?

- the protagonist is fucking crazyyyy?????? i love elster so much she's so hot and handsome and gay and sillyyy and done for. definitely one of the best main characters ever. no backing away until [redacted]

- as you probably could notice from all the fanart, this game relies heavily on lesbians. not saying anything else about this

i think this is enough. i don't think i can say more without entering the spoiler zone.

treat yourself and spend $10-15 (no, don't wait for a sale. this game is worth every single penny and more) on one of the best games on the steam/ps/xbox/nintendo store.

oh, also the physical release has a surprise, so if you come across one, definitely grab it

hope this was enough to introduce you to SIGNALIS! and hopefully made you want to try the game because it messed with my brain soooo bad (in a good way) ouughfhghhhhh

[motheatenscarf]

I think I'm almost done with Post-Shadowbringers stuff

I just did Paglth'an, so here are some catchup thoughts.

Holy shit, Alisaie figured out the cure for Tempering and between her, G'raha, Y'shtola, and Master Matoya, they've figured out how to mass produce this shit so that Tempering is basically no longer an obstacle. Go team!! Ga Bu's! little! voice! He sounds like he's about to ask if please, sir, he can he have some more porridge. Tragic little urchin. Outright Dickensian. So cute ;_; But more importantly,

This has led to the Alliance leaders finally, F I N A L L Y, making peace with and inviting the Beast Tribes to the table. They all seemed to start moving in on it at the same time, but credit still goes to Lyse imo for being the first one to insist, no, we mean everyone gets a seat at the table with the Ala Mhigan republic they're creating. Granted, they modled that on the republic Aymeric built and he was also talking to the Vanu, so. My goodest noodles. I love them so much! I liked Merlwyb getting some character development, but also the entire time she was talking about how to make amends to the Kobolds, I just sat there going, "Land back. You can give their land back. Land back???" But she managed to get them to agree to join up anyway, so... fine :T

Estinien's back! \o/ And he's maybe staying this time? We freed Tiamat and watching Talia, Estinien, and Alphinaud try to figure out how to put a software update on a 3,000 year old phone was way funnier than it had any right to be. Buncha dingdongs. Also, holy shit, Estinien meeting Alisaie was everything I hoped it would be and more. He mistook her for Alphinaud and gave her a noogie. She fucking H A T E S him. It was clear she was envisioning a heroic knight based on Alphinaud's descriptions and then Estinien made the worst mistake of his life. Amazing restraint on her part that she only yelled at him, I thought for sure that was the end for him. But he's actually grown a lot and had a good moment with Fordola where he basically said, "There are enough assholes out there who are good at killing like you and me, but what the world NEEDS is idealists like Alphinaud who actually plan to BUILD something out of the ashes we leave behind." Out of the Scions, I think Estinien is the one who groks Talia the most for this reason alone. That mentality of, I am not good. But you are. I was mostly joking when I said Estinien is her best friend/wingman now and he doesn't get a say in this, but yeah, they would definitely be the "We still never talk sometimes" kind of friends who can just chill in comfortable silence because they're on such a similar wavelength. Which I will say, did make me start to wonder about him and Aymeric and that very gay religious art way he was carried back to Ishgard. Like, oh no, do they maybe have some history there? But then Estinien said, verbatim, "I don't want to go to the Alliance meeting, Aymeric will be there and I don't want to be lectured," so... probably not! Also, the one instance where Talia can't relate to Estinien. Keeping the people you care about at arms' length because you're scared to let anyone in after what you've lost? Tired. Recklessly devoting yourself body and soul to protecting the people you care about because you'd rather die than be alone again after what you've lost? Wired. Get on her level, Estinien, in this house we listen to the Moogles' advice that the fuel powering dark edgelord shit is love.

Anyway, with the Tempering cure in the works, a LOT is shifting in the status quo, which I like. Fandaniel is boring and continues to be just... the fucking most, and I'm tired of him. I'm so tired of him. I have thoughts, but that's for another post.

Zenos keeps making a big deal about wanting a new weapon and they keep deliberately not showing it, and I know Reaper was introduced in Endwalker, so I think that's what they're teasing there, and if he winds up going Reaper I am going to SCREAM. He's already Talia's dark mirror and I already headcanon that her dumb Dark Knight sword that's too big for her was yoinked out of his stupid golf bag. So if he just goes "uno reverse, bitch!" and is now copying her by going Reaper, they are going to be in danger of being legit frenemies and I don't know how to feel about that! That is the exact kind of escalating rivalry I've wanted out of a good nemesis for her!

But also like, Zenos' plans seem so fucking stupid. I don't know what he's got in the works with Fandaniel, he says all he wants is to fight the WoL again, but I don't get how facilitating the apocalypse accomplishes that?

Like, buddy, if you want a fight, roll up and ask her. I brought a character who started her existence as a fucking Sith into this game, you are never gonna find another WoL more eager to drop whatever she's doing just to kick your ass.

[blimbo-buddy]

Anthro Darkstripe headcanons:

Wears tigerclaw hand me downs

Will always pick out his scabs

Hates sugar and other sweet food

Is ADHD and have trust issues

Is 5'7

Is Ace (many people make him gay but i just see him as a ace or a aroace who just wants to impressed thier teacher/mentor) but maybe bi is nice

Chucky because W H Y N O T I L I K E F A T S C A T S

Hate smoking and other crap

Have Mommy Issues 🙂

Listen to edgy music to calm him down

Had a emo phase once

Since Darkstripe hate cakes Longtail just got him soy sauce for his birthday

Can jug soy sauce whole

Is nearsighted and refuse to wear glasses

If he was human he might be African American mix with Mexican

Holy shit DarkStripe 100% wears TigerStar's old hand me downs, he thought it was the greatest moment of his life when he got them. Though I'd imagine that TigerClaw just said that DarkStripe (DarkPaw at the time) could have some of his hand me downs just so he could "leave him alone". These all are so DarkStripe he's funny

[lightlyt0astedtoast]

Introduction!

My name is Toast! I'm a Typology nerd who's currently obsessed with Dayshift at Freddy's and Mo Dao Zu Shi. I also make Synth V covers and I play rhythm games. (Particularly Project Sekai and Project Diva, I also play Osu and I try any free 4 key rhythm game I can find)

I'm nonbinary/transmasc, I use ey/em, it/its, and they/them pronouns. (Don't like neopronouns? Then fuck off! ☺️) I'm asexual and arospec (probably demiromantic, idk), and I'm gay.

I become a socially anxious mess online. Also I've been on TikTok for years, forgive me if I sound/post like a TikToker, I used to be one.

( more on why I left and came back here )

Interests

Big interests, mainly post about:

Mo Dao Zu Shi

Dayshift at Freddy's

Typology (mainly enneagram)

Vocaloid/Vsynths in general

Smaller/fading interests I may reblog:

The Amazing Digital Circus

Project Sekai (you'll see my scores often)

Favorite characters:

Nie Huaisang (jxhwbdhs love him, I'm a Nie Huaisang apologist /hj)

Dave Miller (Ourple)

Jake Wilson (I like the color purple ig, surprised Jiang Cheng isn't here)

Kagamine Rin (best vocaloid)

Yuma (Synth V, idc that he's literally 2 letters)

Ena Shinonome (sx4's are objectively cool)

Caine (silly tooth man go brr)

Favorite Ships:

Davesport

Wangxian

Mizuena

Minoharu

Rinku

Me x Nie Huaisang /j

What you can expect from me

Gushing about my favorite characters

Typology content (I'm bringing the more niche Typology systems over from TikTok, where's the firo content at?)

Random thoughts

Character.ai screenshots (I have so many unhinged ones just sitting and waiting in my gallery)

Rhythm game score bragging

SynthV cover stuff

Typology List

(for those who only know the basics: ESFJ 3w4)

Enneagram: sx/sp 369

Socionics: ESE-2Si-H

Jungian/Cognitive functions: EF(S)/FeSi

Psychosophy: FELV³⁴⁴²

Big 5: rlu[A]/N/

MOTIVES: mCh[I]dEG

Temperaments: Phlegmatic-sanguine

Firo: phsu-suph-phsa

Temporistics: VPNB (not completely sure)

Amatorics: EASF

DELFA: L-22333

I'll spare you all from anything more obscure, I will mainly post enneagram, psychosophy, and firo. (Firo is such an underrated system holy shit)

Random things about me:

Birthday: August 4th

Favorite food: Costco pepperoni pizza

Favorite Drink: Pepsi/Coffee

Favorite Game: Project Diva Megamix+

Favorite Music Artist: Utsu-P

Favorite Animal: Cheetah, I also love all animals in the Bovidae family, snakes, and tarantulas.

Dream Job: Zoological Veterinary Technician

Pets: a dog named Loki (technically my brother's, but he's living here rn), a corn snake named Candy, and a Gargoyle Gecko named Gorils (pronounced like how Gru says "girls")

Keep in mind

Also, while I've had a decent enough connection on reality lately, I have had a history of becoming very delusional. Just a quick warning.

Basic DNI stuff apply, no pedos, no racists, etc.

(God I just made this and I'm gonna have to remake it soon)

[rabiesprooftreerat]

Damn i really gotta rant. This thing will be in basically 2 sections, politics and the tism. I love my family, but hOLY SHIT it feels weird sometimes.

Essentially, I'll be screaming about my issues and shit

Normally, if someone has a differing political opinion from me, I'll be fine. I like hearing how others think. I can be stubborn and abrasive about it at times, I'll admit, but overall? No harm, no foul! I'll try and see from their side and respect it. After all, as long as there's no harm done, it's fine!

But, FUCK am i not safe! :)

My family and I are talking about Palestine over dinner (how it sucks, how sad the loss of innocent lives are, supporting Palestine) and eventually we get sidetracked. My sister talks about reverse eugenics (????) and we move on to US presidents. Now, I don't support Trump, I have no reason to. I am a queer, neurodivergent Latina. I have good reason not to like him, not to mention his issues as president.

My sister says that I "just don't like Trump because she's gay." Which okay???? That's still a damn good reason to not like him. That is actually a VERY VALID REASON! I say that there's more, that WE ARE LATINAS and he's a RACIST! She goes "okay?" and says that the economy was good with him as he ran the country like a business. Which you shouldn't do, you should care about your citizens. I start with this, get this point dismissed, and (I shit you not) said she liked him for his honesty.

She liked him for how honest and publicly racist he was.

What? I say that if THIS was what he showed to the public, then how was he like in private? She ignored this, and i pointed out his connection with EPSTEIN, to which she said that most big wigs are pedos anyway (not the point)! I explain how bad this is and his other crimes, to which she says that Obama also committed crimes and was secretly a racist.

Did i bring up Obama? No. Did i plan to? No. Am i saying he's completely innocent? Absolutely not. Will i search up Obama's apparent racism? NOT RIGHT NOW! THIS WAS ABOUT TRUMP AND THE ISSUES HE CAUSED! BESIDES, if i was telling you we are not safe because we're Latinas (regardless of if we were born on US soil) during his time in office, that should be taken seriously.

IF I SAID THAT I, YOUR SISTER, WAS NOT SAFE IN THE COUNTRY BECAUSE OF MY SEXUALITY, THEN YOU SHOULD LISTEN BECAUSE MY LIFE IS ON THE LINE!

Eventually, i say that i view The Orange as one of the worst, but Reagan is THE worst to me. I will say i was aggressive at this point. After all, I was pissed, and I have no reason to lie. My sister goes on saying that I wasn't even alive for it, so i can't know that he's the worst. Which, W H A T?

As if Reagan's actions don't affect us now. I am shouting because what. I SEE the effects right now with my two FUCKING E Y E S. My mom is home now and is a Reagan stan apparently, so we debate. It's more like an argument, and a sad one at that.

Now, i have a bad habit of talking down to people if i believe i am right. Regardless of age or superiority, i can do this to you. Is it bad? Yeah! I don't like doing it either. It's annoying and feels a little gross. If i am given some respect and reasoning about something, I don't do it. You treated me as an equal and i have no reason to talk down to you. I will return that respect as best i can. BUT (as is in the case with my family) if i am treated as lesser because of my age, am interrupted too many times, or the conversation is purposely derailed with the intent to shut me up, I will talk down to you.

I will use small words, slow my speech, and talk as if you are also a child. If you cannot talk to me as an adult, then we will talk on the same level as children. I hate having to do this because it feels stupid, but I need to as it's the fastest way to regain respect in the convo. My mom even says that whenever I talk down to someone, it's because I'm usually RIGHT! She says this because I DO IT TO HER!

I have to constantly reiterate the point to both her and my sister, that Reagan has done such harm that it's still felt today. Again, i am told that i don't know what I'm talking about because i wasn't there like my mom was. I, again, try to explain why he's not good. My mom says all Latinos love Reagan 'cause of his policies and i don't know anything. She understands what I'm saying because I'm talking clearly so we can converse. She then DERAILS THE CONVERSATION!

She asks who's worse, Clinton, Bush#1, or Bush#2? I tried to bring it back because they were not part of the topic of Reagan. She continues, Clinton, Bush #1, Bush #2? I try to bring it back, cycle repeats. Slowly i get annoyed and get louder and slower each time. Eventually, i tell her bluntly that the conversation was about the Reagan Administration, not Clinton. Not George Bush. Not W. Bush. THE REAGAN ADMINISTRATION! My sister laughs, saying that my mother loved history, my mom starts about Clinton, and sits on the couch.

She allows the conversation to return to Reagan and FINALLY I can talk about his effects on unions and the economy. I am talking down to my almost 50yr. old mom at this point, who is an immigrant as well. Had she not dealt with issues, I would have been beat by now. I explain how Trickle-Down economics was a failure and how his methods of union busting are still used today. All explained slowly and clearly, like i was talking to the child i has dismissed as. She concedes that i had good points but had giggled during the explanation (my sister literally asked if i knew and i did not).

Was it rude? Yes. Could i have been better about it? Yes! I was an asshole. But damn was i tired of what I was saying not being taken seriously.

"You just don't like him cause you're gay and he's homophobic", "You know ____ did this bad thing too, right?", "You weren't there, so you can't know!" I have to talk down to an adult to be taken seriously, no matter if i am an adult or not. All because i am young.

I have to strip the authority of the grown ADULT to be on an equal level and be heard.

I am and will forever be sick of not being heard, especially when it comes to my OWN GODDAMN MIND!

Now for the tism talk. Oh my god my family is... something. Now, i have been aware of my ADHD for YEARS now. I had brought it up before with my parents when i was like 13, but it was shut down because I could never! I was "too smart" and had no mental issues (i did in fact, have mental issues). After all, a mentally ill could NEVER memorize an entire page of nothing but cancer facts! A "retard" couldn't possibly be getting all A's in elementary AND be interested in oncology! No way!

This hasn't been the first time something like this happened either. First time, I said i might be introverted because i heavily related to other introverts. After all, i get tired in my head around people and like to be alone if i need to recharge! I "took it from the internet" at the time and OOPS! I was introverted.

The second time, i said i might have ADHD because i researched the symptoms. It explained a lot as to why i struggled now in school, focus, the Leg Bounce©️, and maybe we can find a way to help me raise my grades! I was told that only my sister had it, i was lazy, and sent to a group where kids with substance abusing parents were. Despite the kids group and the drunk dad i had, i did not get better and my only solace was anime, danganronpa/other fandoms, and Amino.

Coming out as queer was taken well so not much to say there.

But then, i got on Tiktok and i got recommended all these funny and relatable people! Some had ADHD, but some were relatable in a way that the ADHD people weren't. The way these people had little things they adored with their soul, how the hot food can't touch the cold food or it's all bad, the little movements and that make them happy, how some sound is evil, etc.

I found out that they were autistic and things clicked, sorta. "This makes sense," I said. "They have the 'tism!" But what about me? Surely, I'm not autistic. I'd know! Over time i came to realize that there was a good chance i did have the 'tism.

But what about the tests! If i am diagnosed as autistic, what will happen? America is shit and what if i need to flee? That might interfere! I found the RAAD-S test along with the JoJo Autism Wheel and took it. RAAD-S: You have the tism.

Autism Wheel: Autism! You got it!

I took and retook the tests. Each time I got autism. And god!

It felt so good to have reason as to why I'm like this!

That's why flappy hands and making cat noises feel good! This is why hot and cold food can't touch or it ruins the whole plate! This is why the same foods each time is good! It's why radiological accidents live forever in my head! Why Cookie Run Kingdom and Purrfect Apawcalypse and more are switching in my head forever.

I tell my sister that i might be autistic.

She says that i can't be. I was just a smart child.

I say "what child talks about cancer?" She says a smart one.

Eventually, it's brought up in conversation and laughed about. They have me take a BUZZFEED-ESCE QUIZ to "prove" im autistic. The quiz says i got autism. I get happy and they are surprised. I have to talk about boundaries now but its weird.

They CARE about my mental state. But i have low expectations for them. If you have low expectations, its hard to be disappointed. So i cry because this is new. Too many feelings and i cry.

IT TOOK OVER A DECADE TO NOTICE ANYTHING. AND I CRY BECAUSE I AM FINALLY LISTEN TO AND ITS WEIRD! WHAY IS IT WEIRD AND WHY CANT I TALK ABOUT MY FEELINGS AND BOUNDARIES?

And its because it never happened. Boundaries didn't exist and i was "too sensitive" so i had to get better. My mom told me ONCE as a JOKE to "stop crying or I'll never watch movies with you" when i was, at most, 10 years old. So i stopped and no one cared. I started my covering my mouth with my hands, then crying quietly, to silent tears, to not crying. Hell she was surprised that i don't cry at tearjerking scenes because she forgot what she told me. No one cared then so why should i believe it now? I want to but i cant. And it's really sad.

End of rant ig

[kidkintsugi]

another epic transmasculinity moment in combination with everything that went to shit recently.

tw for below cut: dysphoria, slight n/s/f/t topics

aye so this week was absolute bullcrap?

i started hating my flatmate with a burning passion. i tried to excuse his laziness multiple times but ive given up on him. hes just an ass and a useless one at that.

i usually dont talk about other people like this because it makes ME feel bad because im being "mean" or whatever but with him? holy COW hes crossed multiple lines. very little to no remorse on this one.

he does not clean his shit and makes me buy things that are shared, like soap for example. i bought a new container of soap once i noticed that were running low, not ONCE did he make the effort to get some soap himself. its like this with other things as well.

his only humour is making a fool out of me (which i can handle. its just annoying) or sexual shit (also mostly involving me) and since im running a 2 person household on my own essentially i had some type of meltdown/breakdown this last weekend. developed a nervous tic because of it too which gets worse the more tired/frustrated i am. i also seem to have some stomach problems whenever im out of it nowadays and its gotten to the point that people asked me if im hungry because its just. that loud. REALLY uncomfortable especially in class.

today he overslept, which happens multiple times, but today was also the first day he actually had some consequences due to it which i like! but THEN he has the audacity to ask if i "tried to wake him up" which, to me, implies that he thinks im obligated to. almost yelled at him right then and there i had to leave the fucking room.

its also kind of my fault i guess? i could just communicate my problems with him more openly, directly order him to clean/buy/whatever but then i remember.

this guy is as old as i am.

i am NOT his fucking dad or something he should be doing these things UNPROMPTED when living together with someone he barely knows!!

on another note, the guy that realized that im trans is spending more time with me recently and i genuinely enjoy spending time with him as well, hes one of the very few people that doesnt get on my nerves. he plays my favorite videogames with me which are my special interest :)

this comes with a problem however: were both mlm and openly mlm at that, so people began "shipping" us (eugh. hate to use this word in this context).

usually i would find it funny, he finds it funny too because we both know that its not gonna happen but this comes with a certain problem.

people begin putting you in boxes, whether conciously or unconciously. especially with gay relationships, a lot of people seem to be fascinated by the idea that same sex couples still somehow have to fit into heteronormative "standards" (stuff like "who wears the pants" "whos the woman" "who takes it up the ass")

obviously im in a bad position. next to my friend, i am smaller. have wider hips, the face of a twelve year old and when i get nervous my voice goes higher in pitch.

if we WERE in a relationship, i would be percieved as "the woman".

that is so, so painful. no matter how hard i try, unless i end up with a super feminine twink bf (lol purposefully exaggerated im sorry), im gonna be the more feminine one and that is extremely shitty when it comes to passing in public.

had it happen today: i go out to grab boba with my friend.

this might just be my paranoia, but i have a feeling that for mlm couples, due to the way that society is, we dont really look like couples to the average heterosexual because unless we were to make out right in front of them homosexuality just isnt a possibility that comes to mind.

so we go up to the counter to place our order and the guy asks if "my friend is paying for me". nothing unusual BUT my language uses the same word for friend platonic and boyfriend/girlfriend romantic in some cases, meaning that it was very, very ambiguous, but to us it sounded like he meant it romantically.

my friend of course just laughs it off and i would like to be able to laugh too, but the truth is that HE was the one referred to as my "boyfriend". what does that make me in the eyes of a heteronormative society? with wide hips, a high voice and a babyface?

exactly. the girlfriend. checkmate.

dysphoria has been bad in general this week and in combination with all the other shitty feelings i couldnt shower. lower body dysphoria reached its peak too.

people joke about me being the bottom, stereotypically the more feminine one in the relationship and its beginning to hurt because they dont even KNOW. i just kinda wish i could talk about it, say that it makes me uncomfortable but that would make me suspicious and everyone in my class is already suspicious enough.

theres nothing i can do. i will have to live like this forever probably. i think i need to readjust my personality again just so i dont come across as androgynous or whatever. i also really need to get rid of my customer service voice, as i like to call it.

[bluinary]

bi culture is being rendered helpless at the sight of a woman so often that when you are attracted to a male u accidentally joke "thats gay" by force of habit

[agentjohnson]

IM SO EXCITED FOR SPIDER-MAN: INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE

IM SO EXCITED FOR SPIDER-MAN: INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE

IM SO EXCITED FOR SPIDER-MAN: INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE

Did i also mention:

Im so excited for spider-man: into the spider-verse

Im so excited for spider-man: into the spider-verse

Oh i almost forgot, im so excited for spider-man into the spider-verse

[catharsis-in-a-bottle]

project hail mary is so good wtf.

ahem. this is a book review, aka me rambling about a book i consumed at light speed because i loved it so much.

Official Title: "Project Hail Mary" by Andy Weir Just Made Me Cry On My Couch So Now I Must Speak About It

not spoiler free

first off the plot is insane. like, kudos to andy weir for thinking that. ALL THAT. holy SHIT.

second of all, let me talk about ryland grace as a character. he is SUCH a likeable main character it's insane. smart in unique ways, funny, Just Some Dude, a middle school teacher, an astrobiologist. a man who's not afraid to cry or show emotion. a man who is a cinnamon roll of an astronaut. He Is So Amazing And I Love Him

and how could i talk about grace without talking about rocky?? rocky... not going to lie i was very caught off guard when a sentient alien showed up, but he turned out to be so smart and adorable it killed me. also ERIDIANS SPEAK IN MUSICAL CHORDS. THATS SO COOL

(side not: eventually grace was able to tell what chords rocky was speaking without looking at his computer. what i'm saying is that grace basically developed perfect pitch to talk to aliens and i think that's cool of him. my musician heart approves.)

the sheer strength of the friendship between grace and rocky... like, the initial trust that neither will destroy each other, which moves to them working together as scientific partners and friends - best friends because grace has no one else.:. the instinct to protect each other... *screams because hope is real*

ASTROPHAGE. WHAT THE HELL. THEYRE SO COOL. i mean besides the fact that they were actively causing at least two apocalypses - as a concept, a microscopic object (even if it weren't a living thing) that absorbs THAT much energy is just an INSANE concept. and they make neutrinos. like the fucking sun. and they eat star radiation. what the fuck. thank you for the brain food, andy weir

screw stratt for literally jailing grace and sending him to space, however that does not disqualify her from badassery.

DMITRI IS AMAZING also briefly i thought him and grace had a thing. yeah i can't go five fucking minutes without seeing gay people but i don't care. i don't care. ryland grace is mildly bisexual. you hear me?

the hilarious russian people in this book sustained me

a s t ro p h a g e E A T S T A R S

grace's crewmates died but in that time he was alone he never lost hope. humans, huh? (i mean that's probably because he literally lost his entire memory and only recovered it in pieces, but still)

if this were a movie... i have no idea how they would pull that off

somehow this book was very high-stakes while being comforting at the same time?? like yes the ship failing and the taumeba and everything stressed me out, but also alien friends and earth friends. grace had friends in memory and a friend in real time

(his realization that eridians don't know about radiation or relativity... damn. they were living in the dark. but they were doing so quite literally, because they had no way of knowing what was out there. how did they make star maps????)

this book made me like humans a little more

anyway that's all i have to say, for now at least. PLEASE read this book if you like science fiction and little alien guys. (i mean if you read that sentence you've probably read the book, but. k i will stop typing now)

[arc-misadventures]

They Know?!

Saphron: Hey… S-Since were alone… You interested in having some fun~?

Terra: Oh, how naughty of you~! But, isn’t your family still here, you wouldn’t want them to catch you? I mean, they don’t even know you’re gay, let alone that we’re dating.

Saphron: Oh don’t worry, I asked them all to leave us alone so we could talk about some stuff.

Terra: What stuff?

Saphron: Hehe~!

Terra: Saph, what are you?! Oof?! Why did you jump me?!

Saphron: Because I have some stuff to do~!

Terra: Ohh! Well then, by all means lets work on this stuff then~!

Saphron: Hehehe~!

(Slam!!)

Jaune: Holy Shit?!! Saphron we…

Saphron: …?!

Terra: …?!

Jaune: …

Saphron: Uhh…?!

Terra: H-Hey, Jaune… H-How’s it going…?

Jaune: Pretty good how about you guys?

Saphron: It was going well… T-Then some stuff happened… B-Because…

Jaune: Because I suddenly cock-blocked ya?

Terra: I think its clam-jam for lesbians…

Jaune: Oh, so you are gay then… okay…

Saphron: Uhh…

Terra: Yes…

Jaune: Okay… Imma go then.

Saphron: Wait, Jaune!

Jaune: Yes?

Saphron: Y-You can’t tell our sisters about us!

Jaune: Okay.

Saphron: Or, Dad!

Jaune: Alright.

Saphron: Or, Mom!

Jaune: Can do.

Saphron: Or, else I’ll…?!

Terra: Saph! Jaune’s already agreed, he won’t tell anyone, right…

Jaune: Pfft, I won’t to tell them your gay.

Terra: You won’t…?

Jaune: Nope!

ST: …

Saphron: Why not; you aren’t going to use this as blackmail against me…?

Jaune: Can I even use this as blackmail against you…? I can’t of a reason how I could… Can you, Dad?

Saphron: Eh…?

Acheius: Mmm… Nope, can’t think of any; Can you dear?

Terra: W-What…?

Juniper: Mmmm… Money?

Jaune: But, Saph’s broke…

Juniper: Fair point… Girls, any ideas?

Saphron: H-Hold up now…?!

Luna: Ehh… no.

Carol: Nope.

Jeanne: I’ve got nothing.

Angela: Nada.

Thiriana: I’ve got squat.

Sapphire: Why would we blackmail her, I mean we all knew, so…?

Saphron: Wait?! You all knew?!

Arc Family: Yep!

Saphron: Why didn’t you say anything then?!

Angela: Because of the bet.

Saphron: Bet, what bet?

Jaune: The bet on what day you’d come out, or when one of us accidentally catch you in the act, and we’d all find out you’re gay.

Saphron: You guys knew the whole time I was gay?! And, were betting on what I’d come out?!

Arc Family: Yep!

Jaune: Speaking of the bet… I WON!!! Whoo! Pay up everyone!

Thiriana: Wait, what?!

Sapphire: Gods dammit?!

Jeanne: You couldn’t wait one day?! One day?!

Acheius: I could have won yesterday…

Juniper: Haa… You win some you lose some…

Carol: My money…

Saphron: This is insane?!

Terra: Well… At least we don’t have to keep it a secret anymore right…?

Saphron: …

Saphron: Meh… I’ll take what I can get then…