#not that random. I’m rewatching community

[juniperhillpatient]

I’m gonna be so for real right now I really genuinely think my favorite brand of “ship” has always been & will always be the kind that’s always building & never stops because it’s not like they could ever be endgame but it’s also not like they could ever stop caring. Like. I can think of many tv shows even just off the top of my head that lost any & all appeal once my otp got together. Like the best relationships in fiction are always gonna be in a constant state of friendship slash “hey was that romantic?” slash drama or discord & conflict slash “platonic love isn’t a downgrade” slash “buuuuuut…. Still. maybe just maybe it is romantic after all” slash “if they ever actually become a couple & get happy & stable I’ll be immediately bored I don’t even exactly want that also it’s so unrealistic & would never happen” like. Give me that insanity before giving me a stable romance any day of the week babey

[sadquickchristmassnowman]

do you guys think my IP address is gonna get flagged :(

[cosmic-pheonix]

Okay, any self shippers/yumeshippers out there I have to ask…Are you so deep into the hyper fixation of your f/o / fave character so much, that you just go into a rabbit hole and go searching for your fave VA/Seiyuu roles for any voice lines/voice work that VA worked on other anime, cartoons, video games, films, audio drama, bloopers etc and just listen to their voice while imagining your f/o in that universe or as an AU of some sort?

Or a more better question…You ever heard a line that’s so in character (despite the VA voicing in a different media and character) that you want to draw or animate it so bad? Am I the only one that does this? Please tell me I’m not the only one….

[insightfulllama]

ANYWAY HERE’S A MASSIVE LIST OF OBSERVATIONS AND THOUGHTS FROM REWATCHING THE CABIN VOD AHAHAHAHA

(Spoilers)

The first thing Ranboo clearly says is, “It wasn’t supposed to…be like this…” They are very disoriented and confused, verging on distress.

When the mask turns on, they panic and yell “no” several times, before standing and going, “Where am I?” and “This place sure looks weird!” in the NPC voice. I believe he knew something was wrong and was able to scream, but not anything more before they took full control. 

The NPC behavior isn't as obvious as it is in "Warehouse", but I definitely see it now that I'm looking for it. Pretty unsettling. 

Ranboo checks locations they had already looked at before the mask turned on. (The door, the bookshelf, the ashes, etc)

Ranboo can see us, but with the masks influence we appear as a “weird painting”. 

When he is flipping through the magazines and waiting for chat to decide where they go, he says, “These are just old pajamas.” I think that’s what they say, I have no idea what it means. 

When Ranboo first goes to look at the window, he bends out of frame and messes with something (I think the VHS’s) and says, “Those don’t seem too important.” Pretty interesting considering he later uses a VHS to communicate with the one trying to get him out. (Showfalls influence?)

He’s complained about his head hurting twice now, I think this may become a pattern

They find a set of teeth in the drawer

The red key is IN the red bat- mirroring how the key is in Slimecicle later? Did he have to dig into a dead animal to get it here as well and we just didn’t see it because of the mask? 

Ranboo’s spacial awareness seems impaired. He doesn’t know where Slime went because he can’t directly see him. This happens again later with Sneeg, Ranboo looking the entirely wrong way when Sneeg calls out. Both Slime and Sneeg call attention to this- “It’s a house, there’s door frames! How did you get inside if you do not know what a door is?” and “How do you not hear me?...How did you look over there, man?”

JUST realized the key colors match the “characters” we’ve been introduced to. (The Savior, The Taken, The Villain)  I don’t know if there’s further symbolism connected to where the keys are found and stuff but it’s pretty neat. 

When Slime does the pinkie swear promising that Ranboo can leave after he does the cooking challenge, they have their fingers crossed behind their back. 

Slimy Guts is one of the available ingredients, bit sus considering our new knowledge. Also chinese leftovers got 0% of the votes LOL

The random cutaways are kinda strange. Don’t know what to make of them. 

Ranboo uses a pretty big knife to open a little package of slime, is instructed to “beat up” the food and call it names, and later he offers to cut Slime off the floor when he gets stuck. I think there’s a good chance ranboo stabbed someone and made a meal with their guts. Or something in that vein. (Several times Ranboo points out that these aren’t REAL ingredients and he doesn’t know how someone could eat it. What’s happening is probably so horrifying that he can’t imagine it as something normal like chicken, so his brain is substituting with stuff that’s weird but TECHNICALLY not morally reprehensible.)

Fridge says “BEHIND YOU” on it

Gummy worm was in the freezer, body parts can be kept in freezers, idk

Someone really likes mayo, cause they stopped it when it was on the turntable and gave the camera a thumbs up

Slime tries the meal but he’s really reluctant and needs specific circumstances to do it. If the theory of the meal being human guts it true, the hesitation probably didn’t have anything to do with airplane noises…

What is in the backgrounds of these cutaways? It’s so blurry idk, I can’t tell. It’s sort of purply. 

The dish in the end turns to slime with all the possible ingredients mixed in, even the ones we didn’t pick. In universe it reinforces that our choices don’t really matter, from a meta perspective it’s probably so they only had to make one slime prop. 

The timing of the marshmallow string stretching as slime tries to feed ranboo is HYSTERICAL, golden comedic timing

The mask starts blinking when ranboo gets the tape message. 

The person on tape instructs Ranboo “not to resist”. I believe this is said in the second message as well. Perhaps they don’t want Ranboo drawing attention to themself

Like in the room they woke up in, Ranboo checks areas multiple times, seemingly with no memory of the first time he checks. He does the exact same “flashlight in the eyes” gag each time he picks it up. It really enforces that in this moment he is a puppet, not making his own choices. 

“What’s over here?” NPC!Ranboo back in full swing with this dialogue. 

Ranboo did the cooking game, Sneeg didn’t. Sneeg refused to kill? Maybe cause he didn’t have a mask? Hmmm idk

The baby skull on a background shelf has a MASSIVE forehead

Light starts flickering when slime appears

What does the fight between evil sneeg and ranboo mean? Maybe they were both trapped and had a fight?? What does it mean without the obscuring mask? 

Ranboo is able to get sneeg out of slimes influence, and sneeg says a few times afterward that he’s immune now. Ranboo can help people get out of Showfalls influence? (The gooey hat does bring Sneeg out of the influence later, extension of that Ranboo effect?)

When Sneeg looks to see if Slime is in the box, there is a “shhhh” sound effect

Sneeg says Frank is his eyes and ears- was Frank a whistleblower, feeding information about Showfall to the outside? Unsure

Goo chest- possibly full of human bits? Corpse in a trunk is a pretty common trope

Jello on the shelves of Slime’s room

Same picture that was on the fridge is in a frame on the table

Ranboo looks at the mirror the same way twice, reinforcing the NPC vibes

Another false choice- the story only progresses if you go to sleep. Talking to Sneeg only gets some more NPC dialogue. Most of sneeg’s other dialogue sounds genuine, so this is strange.

Sneeg seems unable to move or act while ranboo is asleep

Could the eight hours that passed be literal? If things are obstructed by the mask it very well could be

“You would have known had you been awake!” Before the reveal of the mask making things look different I thought the streams were going to be revealed to be a dream. Clearly it’s not entirely a dream, but this dialogue is still fun. 

SHARK PICKLE LOBSTER TIME!! What would this be in real life? An actual human experiment? Security dogs? Full on hallucination?

This is a pretty funny way to promote the merch honestly lol (referring to ranboo using his merch to trick the thing into cage)

Ranboo seems baffled by his idle fighting animation for a second. He says, “Why am I just standing here? What’s going…” and when the camera pulls back the mask is flickering. 

When Slime sends his ghouls to grab Ranboo I believe he tries to move out of the way. They kind of jerk a bit, like they're trying to move their feet, before saying, “Why can’t I just- get out of here? I just need to get out of here-” The mask is once again flickering during this

After the fight the mask starts flickering a LOT, plus the other lights in the cabin. Tv comes back on. 

The TV man is named Hetch? He says, “My name is-” I think he says Hetch? Unsure

Mans gets drugged up at the end, rip

[indigo-flowers09]

how did the wild robot go

OH MY GOD

i came in expecting “robot fox and bird found family in a forest” and i GOT “robot fox and bird found family in a forest” but SO MUCH BETTER????

all the spoilers every spoiler

yknow stories that are like “how am i supposed to live after that?” like Undertale Yellow or Brokeback mountain? yeah this is the opposite of that. and that’s exactly what i needed after being hyperfixating on uty for months.

some random thoughts i have are:

HRNRTHHFHFJFJGHTH. AUGH. WHAT DO I EVEN SAY…

i was crying since before the middle of the movie. and i didn’t sob at the ending. it was so good, the strong hard parts made me really cry but it kept getting hopeful again. i just.

I felt so seen by so much of that movie. I’m autistic, raised in a quite dysfunctional family and always depending on escaping with fantasy like undertale and fnaf, so i never had any real friends until 6th grade. Watching Brightbill (a runt) being raised by Roz and Fink (two already outcast members of the island with no friends) all because of their own flaws and accidents made me feel so… real. seen. I’ve never felt so represented. a dysfunctional, loving family, built on mistakes and trying to fit in and fulfill their purpose. trying to find the people they belong with.

Similarly but not exactly the same, the found family aspect. Again, as functional as they can be for a runt goose, a manipulative fox and a hunk of metal. but they were all stuck in a place where they can only try their best and take care of each other. that’s literally me and my friends bro. it’s like finding someone so different that you completely click with after a while. you get to watch everyone change and grow with each other.

one of my favorites things was the titular Wild Robot, Roz. GODDDD WHERE DO I START….

Roz showed up somewhere new, not knowing how anything worked, and just followed how she was programmed. She was feared, hated for just doing what she knew. Eventually she sat and waited and watched and learned what she could. When she woke back up, everyone still hated her. She did her best, she could now communicate, but it led her into a bad spot in which she did what she always knew and ended up, with a little help from others in a similar spot, finding those who loved her. In the end, learning how to connect and helping them do what they needed to led her to connecting with others, and being accepted for being kind by those who were not.

now replace Roz with Indigo and read that again, maybe don’t read it as literally but like. THAT WAS JUST MY ENTIRE MIDDLE SCHOOL EXPERIENCE???? HELLO????

Roz is literally me… autism…….

one last thing because GOD THIS MOVIE IS SO FANTASTIC THERES SO MANY THINGS I CANT EVEN THINK OF EVERYTHING I LOVE ABOUT THIS MOVIEEEEE

the art and music. dear god. this movie is so fucking good at being a movie. the art, environment, composition, EVERYTHING IN THIS MOVIE IS ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS. it’s stunning, every single shot i just wanted to dig my teeth into, it’s such a beautiful movie.

the framing and pacing and music and colors and emotion throughout the entire movie is just phenomenal. everything is just so fucking good.

i wish i could say more but i’d need to rewatch it. i just can’t think about it right now i need to let it soak into my autism sponge brain. expect Axis, Guardener and Roz drawings tonight.

[wigglys-dikrats]

it’s my second starkid-iversary and god wow has so much happened since last time i made this kind of commemorative post

i’m blown away by the incredible world of starkid every single day and the awesome community we have here

because of starkid i’ve gotten into tin can bros, shipwrecked comedy, pulp musicals, smosh, and met some of the most mind-blowingly amazing people i could ever imagine

very special shoutout to the wonderful group that is the blinky’s rewatch party discord server, it’s a privilege every day to get to call y’all my friends

and extra very special shoutout to the sad bois, you know who you are, you losers (whom i love with my entire heart, thank you for being fucking awesome literally all the time)

and thank you to that one random ass vine compilation i watched at 2am while high that had that clip from firebringer and got me curious enough to check it out and thank fuck i did because my life is forever changed by starkid and firebringer will always hold a very very special place in my heart for being the reason behind all this wonderful madness

tldr; i got into starkid two years ago today and i love you all

[gabsword]

Little rant about Wynonna Earp: Vengeance.

I am someone who has a deep love and nostalgia for this show, it was a really important part of my coming out and discovering myself journey etc and I can honestly say I was obsessed with Wynonna Earp. With that in mind I did genuinely quite enjoy Vengeance and I’m so happy to see all the characters again so any of my criticisms are with that love in mind. That being said there were quite a few choices that frustrated me that I have to get off my chest.

Lowkey afraid to post this because I know so much of the fandom think Wynonna Earp is immune to any criticism (read: the whole racism debacle).

Also I’m sure a lot of my criticisms could also be levied at the show itself but tbh I haven’t rewatched it since it came out so I’d have to rewatch it and put on my critical brain.

SPOILERS BELOW

1. I think the more the show puts Mercedes through the wringer the less of an impact it has. As awful as it sounds I kinda wish something happening to one of the other characters (eg. Nicole) but not necessarily death, could’ve been the catalyst. (I’m less strongly opinionated on this point I just thought it’s worth mentioning.)

2. I though the fight choreography was pretty shit, I felt absolutely no stakes during the hell hound attacks.

3. This might be a controversial opinion, but I think there WASN’T ENOUGH fan service. Considering this is a reunion almost entirely aimed at fans on a random-ass streaming service, intended to lean in to fans nostalgia. Unless I’ve missed it they only mentioned Dolls once (quite subtly and they mention Bunny Fucking Loblaw more than him) never mentioned Rosita, Robin, Chrissy, Rachel Valdez, Kate etc etc and again I might have missed this but they didn’t even mention Julian??? Glad Jeremy showed up at the end though

These next three are the most egregious in my opinion.

4. WHY TF DID THEY MAKE WYNONNA A COP??? It makes no fucking sense for her character. So much of her character arc is about distancing herself from her father and making her own path then she follows in his footsteps???? If they wanted to give her a job to show she was settling into the Purgatory community and still on the look out for demons she could have I don’t know, been a Park Ranger or a PI or literally anything else. Like I get that she has people she trusts and loves on the force in Nicole and formerly Randy but this still doesn’t make sense to me and feels like more copaganda than the show already has.

5. Wtf does Emily Andras have against Wynonna being happy with her child. At the very least even if it was unsafe for Alice to live with Wynonna they could show her visiting her and forming a relationship (which she so desperately wants). It also feels like a disservice to Doc to not follow that up. I wish the ending had been Wynonna sitting with Alice and telling her about Doc instead of just ‘hey welcome to the force! Congrats!’

6. Considering the show has such limited representations of First Nations peoples (I’m struggling to think of any), the only Native American character being a demon feels dodgy af to me. But that alone could theoretically be talked out of as ‘there are demons of every race’. Ok, then WTF would you have your main character making fun of the Native characters calling her ancestor a coloniser??

[snekdood]

rewatching that video natalie made about cringe and she gets to a point where shes talking about how there were trans women using “cringe” trans women as examples of Bad Transgenders Which They Are Not and how they’ll go as far as to misgender and dismiss their transition to justify their exclusion. and i really think yall need to read this and internalize it and realize you’re doing this about trans men who talk about our oppression:

(in reference to the video clip she’s responding to, she says;) “Rose… gorg. Jessica Yaniv is not one of "the biggest characters in the world" at any moment. This is not a world historical figure. At the end of the day, this is a more or less random civilian sex fiend off the streets of Vancouver BC. The only reason anyone has heard of her at all, is that Vanessa decided to go full "To Catch a Predator" and turn this grimy reprobate into a minor anti-celebrity. She's not one of the biggest characters in the world. But it sounds like what she is Rose, is one of the important characters in your brain.

This is distorted thinking. It's like A-Log comparing Chris-Chan to Hitler. You're so deep in the morbid cringe obsession that you've lost perspective. And I'm sure you have what seem to you like perfectly logical reasons for devoting so much attention to this. And I know that videos about Yaniv get a lot of views, so I'm sure that's a factor too. But Rose, I also know a morbid cringe obsession when I see one. And I know that being a visible trans woman on the Internet is more difficult than most people can imagine. And I know that pretty much every trans person is bullied or shamed or humiliated at some point in our lives. And I know how good it can feel to take all the horrible things that transphobes and bullies and TERFs have said about us, and repeat those things verbatim about some “big, fat, fake, dangerous, delusional, disgusting male fetishist”.

Oh, it feels good to get to be the TERF for once. It feels good to be the judge rather than the judged. Because when you point the finger at someone else, you're also pointing away from yourself. And it's not lost on me that in conservative circles, queer people are often treated like suspected sex criminals by default. So there's safety in being the one who spearheads the “think-of-the-children” type moral crusade. And when you expose a trans predator, you get that feeling of safety plus the relief of having someone in particular to blame for the shame and the stigma we all feel. Jessica Yaniv is the reason people hate us. But that's just not true. It's a simple answer to a complicated problem. It's scapegoating.

When I look at the Yaniv obsession on trans YouTube, I see a community trying to cope with stigma and hoping that destroying a scapegoat will bring relief. It's basically a blood sacrifice. It's not rational. It feels good for a moment, but it's an addiction. It won't ever erase the stigma and the shame. And Yaniv is simply the latest and most deserving in a long line of bad transgenders who aren't real transgenders and are giving us a bad name and are the reason people hate us and must be condemned and destroyed.

But when Yaniv is finally gone, when you get her sent to prison or whatever your goal is, you're just gonna find a new scapegoat to take her place. And the shame cycle continues. The humiliation and bullying we've experienced is internalized as shame. When we project that shame onto scapegoats and onto each other, it becomes cringing and contempt. And we voice that contempt by shaming other people, which starts a new cycle.

So you can keep finding new scapegoats, new punching bags, new shamedumps, new lolcows, and you can wind up like one of the people who's been archiving Chris-Chan for 13 years. But that will never really heal us.”

‘n i kinda feel like thats whats going on right now....

[thedreadpiratebonnet]

Every time I rewatch and Alex says 'no such thing as a locked door when you're a prince, I suppose,' it makes me think about keys and how they're used in relation to Henry in the book vs the movie. In the book, Henry says:

“Funny thing about being a prince—people will give you keys to just about anything if you ask nicely.”

(Which that line from Alex is obviously a nod to)

And it creates this nice juxtaposition between Henry, the prince, who can go anywhere he wants, who has this illusion of freedom, vs Henry the man who is trapped in this life and sees no way out. (Although, by the point that he says this, he’s already starting to see that freedom in Alex.) And I love that! But I also love the changes made in the film. Instead, we get this (paraphrased from memory) exchange:

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever owned a key in my entire life.”

“No such thing as a locked door when you’re a prince, I suppose.”

“Well… You’d be surprised.”

So, here, it's used to emphasise Henry's situation and how he feels trapped in his life—literally without a key to get out. Until Alex. Alex unlocks Henry's life

And, so, the symbolism of Alex giving Henry his actual, physical key, after Henry gives him the ring, is strengthened by Henry never having had a key. Like, Alex is literally the key to unlocking Henry from the shackles of his life, to unlocking Henry full stop. Henry has never had a key—metaphorical or literal—until Alex.

And it's just... It's really lovely, the way it all ties together! That conversation from their first night together, to Alex giving Henry the key, and to him using it to bring Henry into his home, the way it all circles around. And the idea of love setting him free—it does sound kinda corny when you say it like that, I guess, but it's really a beautiful thing. The love he thought he couldn't have, that he initially ran from, is what allows him to be himself. Being queer and loving a man—the parts of himself he thought he’d always have to hide—is what frees him

There’s definitely more to say and I’m not even saying anything new but I was just thinking about it and wanted to ramble a bit even if I’m rambling about very obvious symbolism lol

(As an aside, I do want to mention Henry grabbing that random key from like under the rock, or whatever, as he leads Alex out of Kensington Palace. I mean, I'm sure it's more of a communal key, or something, so it doesn't 'belong' to Henry, and they still have to sneak out under cover of darkness, but it might muddy things a little? I'm not sure. Maybe it fits in because it’s when he’s starting to allow himself to think of the possibility of being open and being with Alex. I do know the idea of, in the universe of the movie, there being a key to the gates for Kensington Palace under a rock right by said gate is so funny to me though)

[imagionationstation]

HI i’m shy but i found your page yesterday and i think your fanfiction and analysis’ are so cool and intriguing!! I mean i read your fanfiction before but i didn’t know you were active here too 🥹 I have 2 questions!!

What are your thoughts on the Creeping Doom episode? Personally I love the episode for the concept and fun moments they gave us but I wish there was more to it somehow? Or that it was more consistent.. I’m not good with words but I’m curious to hear what you think!

I also noticed on one of your posts you said Raph only calls Donnie/Mikey little brother. I never heard him call Donnie that though :( I was wondering if you remember the clip or episode that happened in? That’d make my heart so happy to see hehehe

Thank you for your time bro 🫶🫶🫶

Thank you!! My fanfics and my analysis are my pride and joy so that really means a lot to hear!

I try to drop reminders that I exist in other places whenever I can but (just like with answering asks) I’m really bad at it. Love when people can make connections between my accounts. I do my best to boost 2012tmnt content with every click of a key and get a rush of dopamine when someone can access everything I have to offer!

What are my thoughts on the Creeping Doom ep? Do you have time for an essay or two? Cauuussseee-

Alright. Alright. I’ll keep this… relatively short.

I’m an episode skipper for shows I have little interest in. I don’t normally care about watching them from first season to final season. I just like tasting the random content and putting puzzle pieces of plot together. It makes it more interesting.

So, I know I watched a couple of episodes of 2012TMNT before I watched The Creeping Doom, but it was the first episode that really stood out to me. It essentially made me go, “Omgee, he’s such a sweet, bright little guy- I must learn everything about him.”

Everything about this episode is a wonderful mix of painfully cringe, strangely adorable, and very thought provoking. YEAH. You heard me. It makes me feel things AND have wise thoughts.

It’s the little things that get me. This episode spoke volumes and still does after my many, many rewatches.

FOR EXAMPLE: The brothers always immediately supporting him/assisting him/leading him around like a lost puppy?

(Mikey throwing him is the highlight of his part in this episode, ngl.)

Even BEFORE they know that something is definitely wrong with his brain, they’re supporting him through his off behavior/headache.

Also him pausing to catch Leo and then keeping his unsteady brother upright later on is some prime brotherly content <3<3

AND HE’S JUST SUCH A HAPPY BOY

You can FEEL how tense he is at the beginning of this ep. He’s been carrying this tension- this weight- all season. So much is on his shoulders and he knows he’s running out of time. When he snaps at Mikey, he offers unheeded in vocal hints of I’m busy plz stop being distracting by adding in comment like, “Don’t mess with that! I’m trying to figure out how to reverse engineer this brain worm.”

He’s not even telling him to get out! He’s slightly open to conversation. He’s just trying to communicate that he’s really distracting, but the message isn’t getting across. (And it’s so relatable. He’s not TRYING to be a jerk. He’s trying to stay cool. And I don’t know how many of the show’s audience have little siblings, but when you’re struggling and they’re loud, that only makes things worse. You love them but can’t they let you think?!)

He STRESSED. And rightfully so.

The second that the memory loss kicks in and he forgets everything scary/daunting/concerning happening around him- he’s such a happy and carefree teen. Zero problems. Zero concerns.

NOTHING that he’s doing comes off as weird or abnormal to him. He finds joy in fire and french fries and tinkling vials and ‘squirrels’ and naming things and rediscovering his brothers. He loves doing random things to get his older brother’s attention, anything from shoving metal objects in his mouth to stealing their masks. This is probably the most joy we see for a LONG time and it’s all so PURE.

And he GENUINELY does NOT understand why his brothers are calling him out for being odd. He’s just vibing all ep.

He can’t remember why they left him behind, so, OBVIOUSLY, he needs to go find them- and that random spotlight in the alleyway was NEAT and he found REAL above-ground fires and squirrels. Didn’t they want the ShellRaiser to stop anyway?

He was helping! What’s the big deal? Silly brothers.

And on the same card, there’s a subtle sort of angst. Watching Donnie slowly descends into a dependent child without truly understanding what’s happening to him. Every time that he remembers that he forgot something, a confused fear entered his tone. He knows it’s wrong but he can’t understand why.

His head hurts and his hand itches and he thinks he might be spacey but how is any of that connected and since when did Creep get free and what are they all doing on the surface anyway, and, wait, are they fighting- is that the Creep how did he get free?!

And that fact that he keeps asking the same questions gets me every time. He’s so oblivious and that’s terrifying. He’s used to knowing everything but every thought is slipping through his fingers.

Then we reach the point where he can’t even muster the curiosity to wonder if his brother repeatedly saying something’s wrong with him is weird. He’s just going with it. Any chance they may have had to figure this out is now long gone.

And the multiple references to the fact that they can’t do much without Donnie make me wish this realization would have gone somewhere. The potential of Donnie giggling and playing while his brothers watch their world crash down would have been PERFECT.

It would be SUCH A CONTRAST to Good Genes! Instead of losing him to an angry, vengeful beast that is nothing like him, they’re essentially losing Donnie to himself. This is their brother, no question about it, and they have to watch him deteriorate before their eyes.

Holy Chalupa, I can TASTE that angst. It’s drilling at my soul.

But, sadly, I’ll just have to take what I can get. This type of scenario will simply live rent free in my brain. Along with other ones like this definitely canon scene that’s definitely scripted definitely.

Uh. There was another thing.

OH YEAH-

I don’t know what episode it’s from. I went looking for the quote in my favorites but didn’t find it. Don’t really have enough hours to scan every season. Of course, I would have sworn that Mikey has never said “Don” in the 2012 series a few months ago, and he totally surprised me by saying it in Newtralized. So.

I could be wrong. I can hear his voice saying it clearly in my head like many quotes, but I’m a writer, so that could just be my brain playing tricks on me.

I believe that I am right, but if proven otherwise, I will concede to my incorrect assumptions. Silly trickster brain O’mine.

[shipcestuous]

Just finished reading your commentary about Boy Kills World.

I’m so glad we have you in the incest ship community; your work is incredible. You pointed out so many things I hadn’t noticed before, like the meaning of June 27’s name and the dynamics between the Van Der Koy family members.

When you pointed out how quickly Boy’s attitude towards Anna had changed, it suddenly came to my mind. Boy hated totalitarianism so much that he lost his attraction towards her instantly. But when it came to June 27, the woman who is his enemy and just beat him up, he thought her pretty instead. It just, uhhhhh!

My friend made a fanvid of them, and the song choice is just chef kiss, so I think you might want to check it out (the title of this fanvid is Boy Kills World || BIRDS OF A FEATHER and it is on ytb) (tumblr don't allow me to link this)

Anyway, I love you so much and appreciate the work you did for this ship. You made my Monday easier.

[Boy Kills World commentary on Wordpress]

Anon, you have made my day with this message. You are too kind. I'm really ecstatic that #1. Someone actually read that massive thing. Bless you for it. And #2. You had a thought that had never occurred to me before. I drew parallels between Anna and June27 due to vision-Mina's intervention but I had never considered that Boy rejects Anna completely for being a Van Der Koy fan, but seems, at least in that moment when her face is revealed, to fancy June27, an actual Van Der Koy. I will definitely be adding that to the commentary. Thank you!

I'm so glad there were a few nuggets in there that you hadn't noticed or considered. The possibility for the reason for June27's name came to me very last minute as I was wrapping the whole thing up, which I hope means there may still be a few new things left for us fans to discover.

That has to be her name for a reason, right? I had originally thought it could just be a random cool name, but now it feels like it has to point to something, and there don't seem to be any other good options. A cool name for cool name's sake could have been anything, but a date feels like it indicates something. Gideon is the only one who actually calls her that, within the family. No one else addresses her by name (except Boy). So I could see her having adopted that name as a tween/teen. I considered that Melanie might have given it to her, as part of her branding. But I like it better if June27 chose it herself.

I'm trying to decide what to post tomorrow, since it will be June 27th. It should be a holiday, I think. I'll rewatch the movie for sure.

I watched your friend's beautiful fanvid.

The song choice is amazing, the way the lyrics fit. Just wow. And I like the way the video highlights the lyrics.

I wanted to comment on the video, but I wasn't sure if your friend wanted their only comment(for now) to be from someone with "shipcestuous" as their handle, since it wasn't an overtly romantic-shippy vid. I'll hold off for now, but I want them to know I think their vid was beautiful with A+++ song choice.

Anon, thank you so much for this feedback and for your kind words!

[electratheart]

my mini essay about how much i love haikyu bc i need to express it pls

oh gosh idk what’s come over me but i could not be happier honestly.

after watching the dumpster battle move in theaters last month, i feel like ive been thrown into a full fledged haikyu phase that i missed out on both in 2020 (but it’s fine i heard it was also horrid at times during this, but lowkey looked fun LOL) and when i watched it for the first time in 2021 (ik im a little late to the game… don’t remind me)

when i watched it for the first time, i obviously loved it. but it’s hitting so much harder now—how im both reading the manga from volume 1 to rewatching the series (loosely) side by side. and i rarely rewatch anime’s unless it’s casual random ep (i.e ohshc or hxh for me hehe)

something about it this time means so much more. haikyu gets me so excited, hyped, happy, and so emotional. i don’t even play volleyball, but i do love the sport! yet it makes me feel like i can fly too 😭😭 i wish i was able to witness this series during its first release (i would’ve been in middle school!!) and i feel like it would hit so hard to grow up with them and the series 🥹 but it’s okay—timing is everything. even 3 years is a while already too.

but i’m so glad to have haikyu rekindle this spirit of excitement and motivation in my life right now. the story. the characters. how they all grow and develop and improve. and the themes about teamwork, believing in yourself, passions, hard work, everything in between just reminds me and teaches me so much in my own life too. i could go on and on but this is only a mini essay after all haha. i just love it so much.

thank u furudate for creating such a masterpiece. this piece of work changed the world and so many lives. even mine. and ik this might sound corny but idc. i really do love haikyu and what it means to me. everything about it, it makes me want to live that way too—to go after my dreams and believe in myself and cultivate my passions and work hard and find a community and live my life the way i want. so simple but powerful at the same time.

it makes me sad that the manga is over and we’ll only be getting another movie (literally robbing us…. i’m still manifesting for a new season idc idc i’m in denial) but i know haikyu is always there for me whenever i need it. and look, i can rewatch it, reread it over and over again. bc the spirit of haikyu goes on forever always!! we keep on flying higher!!!

[lale-txt]

If you get this, answer w/ three random facts about yourself and send it to the last seven blogs in your notifs. anon or not, doesn’t matter, let’s get to know the person behind the blog! <33333 (if u wanna, no pressure!)

aww Coony hi!! ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡

one of my first manga was Fruits Basket and to this day it is still one of my favorites! it has everything to me, the friendships and the romance, the deeply traumatic family bonds, the horrors… don’t get me started because i can and i will yap about it for 3h straight. the 2019 anime is one i find myself rewatching over and over again, it really was such a gift for the shoujo community.

i wanna challenge myself and learn a new language this year! not sure which one yet, though. Japanese would be the obvious choice, but i’m also interested in Farsi? or maybe something entirely different (gave up on Finnish though that was impossible to me lmao)

i also really wanna get my hands tattooed this year but my artist of choice has been on hiatus, so i’m just sitting here patiently twiddling my thumbs until she comes back.

[askgametime]

🐜 Recommend a fic that makes you laugh! A crack fic, or something that's just really funny!

okay, i actually generally don't answer asks on this blog, i create/reblog ask games to be used by others since i'm not really open for prompts right now and this blog isn't fandom specific. however, i guess i could provide a rec/recs, but since there's no fandom listed it will be random. and since i don't normally do these i'm going all out with a really detailed answer.

...alright, briefly traversed my bookmarks for fics i remembered being hilarious, and ironically, this is not at all indicative of the fandoms i spend the most time reading in, especially like, currently, but it's a small variety and they were all memorably hilarious so:

still alive but i’m bearly breathing by thessalonike (starblessed) / @julies-butterflies

Fandom: Julie and the Phantoms; Rating: T; Categories: Gen, M/M - No Archive Warnings Apply - Complete (1/1)

So, Julie's got a possessed teddy bear. “It was just a flash of light, like a lava lamp exploded, and then, whoomph —“ Reggie mimes what, presumably, is a person getting sucked into a stuffed animal’s body. It involves a lot of flailing, a weird mermaid wiggle, and a moonwalk. “Alex was a bear.” CAN WE PLEASE STOP SAYING THAT, sings Alex — or Bearlex — into his plush microphone, with his tiny robotic voice. The sound box inside of the bear isn’t designed for speaking, only warbling… so every time Alex has something to say, he sounds like robot Freddie Mercury attempting karaoke. ALEX IS NOT A BEAR. ALEX IS INSIDE A BEAR. IT’S DIFFERENT. “Yeah, man, it sounds worse.”

Rec Notes: This one makes me cry laughing. Every single time. It's so funny. I believe after I watched JATP and binged a bunch of fics I read every single one of this person's works and they were all great. God, I need to rewatch that show, it's been a hot second.

Smoke Break by OrangeGaytor

Fandom: Disco Elysium; Rating: M; Category: Gen - No Archive Warnings Apply - Complete (1/1)

Shivers– Miles away, a young teenager takes his first ever hit of a joint. He inhales too deeply, and spit flies from his lips as he falls into a coughing fit. Pitifully, his friend pats him on the back, an embarrassed grimace on his face. Just as far away, a woman is locked to her couch, paralyzed by the 10 mg edible she took an hour and a half ago. The recommended dosage was half of a gummy, and yet, the chemicals overpower her, merging her into the cushions. Time passes as a dripping faucet, inconsistent, and runny. And here, in Martinese, a police officer has rolled the worst blunt known to all mankind. 

Rec Notes: Great grasp of game's format/feel, incredibly funny. I just love how it's worded. The summary is a great example--the pacing and punchline is just. chef's kiss.

No Speak, Only Batman by hitthedeck

Fandom: DC/Batman/Justice League; Rating: G; Category: Gen - No Archive Warnings Apply - Complete (1/1) (Part 5 of a series of oneshots)

Batman doesn't use words, those prehistoric, plebian things. Instead, he stares deeply into your eyes, waits for you to absorb his meaning, and leaves. Either that or he fights it out like a normal person. Or, in which Batman's unique communication style is spectacularly unhelpful.

Rec Notes: I don't even go here, but Batman produces so many excellent, excellent crack fics. This is one of the best. Honestly, this whole series is completely iconic. Please read them all.

Filet-O-Fish by moopyjoopy

Fandom: The Magnus Archives; Rating: T; Category: Gen - No Archive Warnings Apply - Complete (1/1)

Someone throws a Filet-O-Fish at Jon’s front door. Paranoia ensues. (rated teen for a few swears)

Rec Notes: Okay, I'm really not gonna have a lot to say for any of these other than "help please they're so fucking funny" but I cannot impress on you enough they truly are all so fucking funny. I don't even really go here, either and YET. Also, I just love this author. Master of humor, truly.

œuf ouch owie by miraculousunflower (ominousunflower)

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug; Rating: T; Category: F/M - No Archive Warnings Apply - Complete (1/1)

Chat Noir enlists Rena Rouge's help to create an Aspik illusion. Absolutely nothing goes wrong. Ladybug smiles. “I wanted to drop by and welcome Aspik. I know it must be a little intimidating, being surrounded by so many veteran heroes…so, welcome! We’re glad to have you on board.” “I look like an egg!” Aspik announces, T-posing. Chat turns to Rena, feeling like he has been punched in the solar plexus. What the hell? he mouths. Rena grimaces, her eyes wide with panic. Stomach sinking, Chat remembers one of the first things he learned about the Fox Miraculous: that if Rena Rouge isn’t focused, her illusions go haywire. Oh, no.

Rec List: cannot emphasize enough this one makes me cry laughing every time. I don't know what it is, man. It's just so fucking funny. I haven't watched this show in years and still I go back and reread this when I remember it exists.

Sam Green and the Strange, Perplexing, Almost Bad, Very Confusing Night(s) by pukner

Fandom: Stranger Things; Rating: G; Category: Gen, M/M - No Archive Warnings Apply - WIP (1/2)

"'M I bein' kidnapped?" asked Harrington. "What," said Sam, alarmed, "No!" "Okay," said Harrington with terrifying agreeability, considering the words he was saying, "But like. If you were? It's cool, I've been kidnapped before." "Wh—" "It was, uh. A bunch of twelve-year-olds," said Harrington, sounding strangely pensive. Then, sadly, "They stole B'lly's car." Sam actually could not process anything being said right then. He started the car. "Hey, Harrington?" he said, voice strained. "Yeah?" "Let's stop talking for a while, yeah?" "'Kay." Or, in November 1984, Sam Green (or Freak, if he's at a gig) sees Steve Harrington stumbling home looking like roadkill. He drives him to the hospital, and never quite manages to get rid of him. In July 1985, Eddie Munson is very confused about this.

Rec Notes: Every work by this author is so, so good. I don't even go here--god, why is that a pattern on this list?--but I'm always excited to see them in my inbox. I only chose this particular one (a) by virtue of it being the most recent and therefore the one I remembered best and (b) Mall Goop.

The Mysterious Benedict Society and the Epistolary Bullying Campaign by viramine / @mvshortcut

Fandom: The Mysterious Benedict Society; Rating: T; Category: Gen - No Archive Warnings Apply - Complete (1/1)

"To LD Curtain (I refuse to believe you actually earned your doctorate): When I opened the newspaper over my nutritious breakfast this morning, I was greeted by the most terrible and disgusting sight in the world (your face). Now I am going to take several moments of your time to express my displeasure." Or, how did Curtain know they called themselves the Society, anyway?

Rec Notes: Iconic as fucking always. Top-tier author, top-tier comedy; have my hand in marriage, etc. Constance terrorizing Curtain is always wonderful but this is probably the best version of that. Great characterization, deeply hilarious and so so funny, always worth rereading over and over. The best, ♾️/10 stars

Geoffrey M'Benga: Vulcan (Love??) Guru by WerewolvesAreReal

Fandom: Star Trek (TOS); Rating: T; Category: Gen - No Archive Warnings Apply - Complete (1/1)

Post-Amok Time. “The only conclusion M'Benga can draw, based on all McCoy's questions about Vulcans, is that the man is enamored with Commander Spock. Someone should really tell him that pigtail-pulling stops being cute when you're eight.” Misunderstandings, genfic, humor.

Rec Note: Yet another author I always and without fail am absolutely thrilled to see in my inbox. And this fic? Regular reread. Absolutely incredible.

A dis-ass-ter by normal_thoughts_official / @normal-thoughts-official

Fandom: Shadowhunters; Rating: M; Category: F/F, M/M, Multi, Other - No Archive Warnings Apply - Complete (1/1)

Simon and Maia find out what the Mark of Cain is in an... Alternate way. Namely, they can't get their spanking session on. The squad is called in to help.

Rec Notes: [announcer voice] FROM WRITING GENIUS NORMAL-THOUGHTS-OFFICIAL IT'S!!!! THE POLYCULE SPANKING ASS PORTAL FIC!!!! Truly so funny and from one of the best authors on this damn site, wonderful characterization, on point comedy, and impeccable taste as always. Blowing you a kiss. Tossing bouquets. Firing confetti cannons. Etc.

A Way Things Should Be by LullabyKnell / @lullabyknell

Fandom: The Hobbit (Movies); Rating: T; Category: Gen - No Archive Warnings Apply - Complete (16/16)

In the Shire, hobbits say, "What lovely weather we've having." They also stir their teacups for four and a half clockwise rotations, place their left elbow seven-eighths down the way of the arm rest, and sniffled pointedly, which roughly translates to: "This tea is over-steeped and bland, your furniture is both uncomfortable and horrifically tasteless, and you're a twit of a host." And I think that's beautiful. ~ Hobbitish is a language of manners and etiquette, the dwarves don't even know that Hobbitish is a thing, and Bilbo is trying to keep a straight face and his peace of mind while the Company unintentionally keeps sexually propositioning him and challenging him to pie-eating contests to the death. ~ Actions speak so much louder than words.

Rec Notes: Truly a stunning fic. An absolute masterpiece. Hilarious, touching, perfectly paced. Incredibly long and well-thought out, great characterization, and again, I cannot stress this enough, hilarious. I once recommended this to a person out loud irl in real life on purpose. A person who had never heard of fanfiction. Admittedly I was a high-schooler at the time, so it's not like I had much sense (not that I have any now), but I still didn't normally do that. He thought it was hilarious, by the way. Read some excerpts out loud at lunch and had them howling. Wonderful fic, cannot recommend enough; so fucking funny and the premise is just. so good.

--- --- --- ---

And now, because I'm selfish, here's a few crack fics I wrote, because. why not, am I right? I'm already putting way too much time into this probably.

-- -- -- -- --

Rupert Mannion Is Batman (He Isn't)

Fandom: Ted Lasso; Rating: M; Category: M/M - No Archive Warnings Apply - Complete (13/13)

A series of bizarre, loosely related events occur, all kicked off by Trent absently mentioning that he may or may not have once hooked up with Rupert Mannion.

Author Note: I had so much fun with this one. It's not my most popular crack fic--even my most popular Ted Lasso crack fic--but it amuses me.

dreams of falling

Fandom: House MD; Rating: M; Category: M/M - No Archive Warnings Apply - Complete (1/1)

House and, among other things: green couches, being kissed by Wilson, lightning-fast overthinking, and talking to himself.

Author Note: My first time writing House, and entirely on an impulse. I really like some of the lines in here, like Chase's brief appearance.

gemini schmemini

Fandom: The Mysterious Benedict Society (TV); Rating: T; Category: Gen - No Archive Warnings Apply - Complete (1/1)

"You're his clone?" demanded Kate loudly, looking between Mr. Benedict and Curtain. His what. There were a lot of answers he could give to this. No, who in the world told you that, we're twins, being the main one, or perhaps he could just turn to his brother and say, did you seriously fucking tell people you cloned yourself instead of owning up to not being an only child?! But looking at his brother, who was keeping his face utterly blank, Nicholas made a split second decision. "No," he said, looking his brother directly in the eyes, "Actually, he's my clone."

Author Note: I had a harder time choosing between my MBS crack fics because I think they're all hilarious. No false modesty here, if there's one thing I am occasionally good at it is being funny as fuck. Not reliably, but, you know. Anyway, I asked my friends to choose between three random ones I think are the funniest and this was the unanimous (of the two people that responded on incredibly short notice) vote!

And now...

[wigglys-dikrats]

hiya !

i’m milo grey, 25, aspec gay & nonbinary, key/kyr (pronounced keer), AuDHD

i mainly post about starkid here, specifically hatchetfield and pulp (as well as the greater starcanwreckedpulp, but i do occasionally post random stuff too) (my blog is not spoiler free for cinderella’s castle and pulp episode 4, but everything will be tagged)

i’m a proud parent (mod) at blinky’s rewatch party, a community discord server (come join us, we have lots of fun !!) follow @blinkysrewatchparty for details :D

i’m also one of the mods for hatchetfield femslash fortnight ! follow @femslashfortnight for details !

i don’t usually post super explicit or nsfw here, but i’d prefer <16 didn’t follow me

my dms and inbox are open for whatever, esp to talk about pulp and paulkins (i’m normal i promise) (lying)

i occasionally write fic on ao3 @ gary_goldstein

dni: terfs, zionists, racists, homophobes, transphobes, bigots, ableists

[winderlylandchime]

I have a question that I wanna know your thoughts on, if you care to have them :). When and how do you think Brian Kinney became Brian Kinney. The ‘no excuses, no apologies, no regrets’ Brian Kinney. And when do you think he became the stud of Liberty Avenue? I mean Debbie does tell in s1 that Brian has basically been a loose canon since the day Michael met him when they were 14. And in season 5 i think it’s revealed they went to the club for the first time when they were like 17/18 and Brian even makes a tiny brag about the backroom (btw i will never be over that scene because they put them in “teens” clothes and said fuck it) but I always wondered at what point did Brian become ‘the man, the myth, the legend’ and like how that had to be for him and his friends or I guess Mikey since he was obsessed with him and then suddenly he was fucking everyone. Sorry for such a random all over the place question, you can tell I recently started a rewatch.

Oh dear sweet anon! I love all {kind} asks in my askbox equally, but some I love more equally than others. You have truly unleashed the beast with this one as I literally have a doctorate in analyzing characters (sure, at work I call it ‘case conceptualization’ but tomato tomahto and all.) I’m going to put this all under a “read more” because I love my mutuals and I don’t want to subject their dashes to what is undoubtedly going to be an unhinged character analysis. Pour yourself a beverage of your choosing, grab a snack, and buckle in.

My mother is a frigid bitch. My father was an abusive drunk. They had a hateful marriage, which is probably why I am…unwilling or unable to form a long-term, committed relationship of my own. The fact that I drink like a fish, abuse drugs, and have, more or less, redefined promiscuity doesn’t help…much. As a result I have lost the two people in my life that mean the most to me.

- Brian Kinney, 508

Early Childhood

Brian is the youngest of two from married parents. His mother, Joan, is not employed outside the home and is devoted to her Catholic faith. His father, Jack, is employed in some unnamed blue collar job and is a union man. His older sister, Claire, is a presence but left the home and married and had children shortly thereafter. Both Brian’s parents struggle with undiagnosed and untreated alcohol use disorder. They are both abusive in their own ways. Brian suffers physical abuse at the hands of his father. He suffers emotional abuse in the form of religious trauma and neglect in the form of Joan not intervening when Brian is being hit by his father by his mother. He also grows up with the family lore that he was an unwanted child and his father asked him mother to abort him. In his understanding, it is his mother’s Catholic faith that has doomed him to this miserable life. And throughout his life, it is clear his mother cares more for outwards appearances within her church community and for his eternal soul than his happiness here on earth. He observes their marriage as a hateful one. Jack cheats on Joan and apologizes with empty gestures (bringing her flowers) and words (apologies and good behavior before reverting back to his philandering ways). He’s told repeatedly by his father that Jack should never have been a family man, that Kinney men not not designed to be family men. In other words, Kinney men are not made to be “tied down” to one partner. And in the absence of a model or understanding of an ethical nonmonogamy, Brian learns that men, if they have partners, will cheat. Brian also learns from his family that words and apologies are empty - Jack can apologize to Joan but if he never changes, what worth do his words have?

We also see from his family where his determination to earn money and be able to afford a luxurious lifestyle comes from. He is determined to avoid any suffering (failing at monogamy, struggling to pay bills) that they endured.

Adolescence

Around age 14/15 Brian meets Michael Novotny. He either moves to Pittsburgh or several junior high schools feed into one high school (this is not uncommon in the US). Michael worships him immediately - Michael is gay and Brian is cute. And then Brian defends Michael against the school bullies. Brian also meets Debbie and either meets or hears of Uncle Vic. For the first time in his life, Brian has adults who are accepting of their son being gay, he has a model of a gay man who is loved by his family (for the most part - there’s reference to a sister that rejects Vic and a grandmother who may be oblivious to her son’s sexuality). He receives mixed messages from the Novotnys. From Michael, he gets a best friend. Someone with whom he can be silly and have fun. But everything they reference from their teen years is about Mikey’s interests - the Captain Astro club for instance. What were Brian’s interests as a teen? Did anyone nurture them? In Mikey he also gets someone where he can safely explore his sexuality (Patrick Swayze). In Debbie he gets a mother figure who is a firm (albeit imperfect) ally. We don’t know when the Liberty Diner opened or when Debbie began working there, but there is a sense she was also a portal to the world of Liberty Avenue and the diner provided a sort of safe-for-teens queer space. However, Debbie also cares for her son first and foremost (as she should!). She is not Brian’s parent. When she sees Brian’s influence taking Mikey down a path of - getting in trouble at school for fighting back against bullies, sneaking out to go to Liberty Avenue, espousing an nonmonogamy ethic, experimenting with drugs and alcohol - she rightly calls him out. However, with his background, when she - a clearly loving mother who would have no reason to lie - calls him a little shit or an asshole, he believes it. There is a paradox that develops where Brian does not believe words because they are meaningless so refuses to apologize or make promises - unless those words are cruel and directed at him, especially by people he trusts.

For historical purposes, this is taking place in 1985 or 1986 - as the AIDS crisis is reaching an inflection point. The CDC (US Center for Disease Control) estimates that more people were diagnosed with AIDS than in all earlier years combined (source). It is impossible to overstate the impact this had on the queer community more generally, and on Brian more specifically. We see his unwavering commitment to using a condom even in the face of other reckless behavior. As someone who predominantly tops, he is at lower risk of contracting HIV but he cares enough about his partners to never ever fuck without one. His alcohol and drug misuse harms him and him alone, fucking without a condom harms others. Coming of age during the height of the AIDS crisis shaped Brian. We don’t know exactly when Vic seroconverts but we know that relatively shortly before the Pilot episode, Vic was on his deathbed and Debbie was nursing him and they go on that trip to Italy and max out all of Vic’s credit cards… (because those credit card statements come to him in S1) So the AIDS crisis is also front and center in this little safe(r) space Brian has found away from his childhood home. With the AIDS crisis there is also a loss of nearly a complete generation of gay men who could have provided a model for the type of relationship Brian and Justin eventually try to find for themselves. I’ll say it again AIDS WIPED OUT AN ENTIRE GENERATION. We learn from the models around us. If we are an ethnic minority, we learn about that from our parents. As queer people, we often cannot learn from our parents how to be queer. We need queer elders in our communities. Brian comes of age exactly as all those queer elders are dying and changing their lifestyles to protect themselves and their partners from a hideous disease with (at the time) no known treatment and in which the government’s inaction is actively contributing to the loss of entire communities.

And then we have the famous locker room gym teacher incident. Brian’s first (as far was we know) sexual experience was at age 14 (iirc) when he walked into the showers after soccer practice and saw his coach showering. Brian as a gay teen, gets hard, and to cover up any embarrassment about what this reveals about him (it’s the 80s in a public American HS!) gets on his knees and gives the coach a blowjob. This is the first instance of Brian using sex and his sexuality to protect himself and to empower himself. However, he is a kid and a student and he has been taken advantage of by a teacher. No matter how much Brian tells himself (believes) that he was in power in that situation, the power dynamics are always that the teacher has power. That is the reason those laws exist (and even when everyone is an adult, professors cannot sleep with their over 18 college students, nor can they sleep with their graduate students - that goes against every university’s guidelines because that power imbalance cannot be erased). Brian may not self-identify as such but he is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse.

Late Adolescence/Early Adulthood

Around 17/18 we know Brian and Mikey are sneaking into Babylon and Brian is engaging in more experimentation with his sexuality. How is this different than Justin doing the same? Well, first and foremost Justin’s was incredibly lucky that Brian was the one to take him home that first night and treat him with respect and kindness. Brian made sure he enjoyed his first time. Brian’s speech about wanting Justin to always remember this tells us that virginity, while a vile social construct, is something that can feel very important. And the first time being penetrated can set the stage for one’s expectations and beliefs about what is good and normal for future experiences. Does Brian realize this because his first time with penetrative sex was similarly good and kind or because it was the opposite?

We also know that Brian graduates high school and goes to a traditional four year university/college (per fanon it’s Carnegie Mellon where Ben is later a professor and is a prestigious university) where he meets Lindsay. Unlike, Brian, Michael attends a few semesters of a community college. Anon, I’m not sure if you’re in the US but a community (or junior) college is usually a two year college that is intended to prepare students for transferring to complete their education at a 4 year college or university. Some students just complete their Associates Degrees and do not transfer. The reason a student might do this is a) finances - community colleges are public and much less expensive than 4 year institutions (even 4 year public universities) and b) readiness - if a student’s high school grades are not good enough to get into a 4 year institution or the student personally doesn’t feel ready for college course work, attending a community college is a great place to get adjusted to college level coursework (classes tend to be smaller, especially compared with large universities). My spouse is a community college professor, nothing but respect to the community colleges. Mikey probably attended due to finances and poor grades (he is canonically not book smart). Brian comes from a similar background financially - I would find it hard to believe that Jack, who later asks his son for money, was saving for college tuition when Brian was a child. Given the lavish lifestyle Brian later leads, I find it hard to believe he took out (predatory) student loans (he also doesn’t mention them among his expenses post- Concerned Citizens for the Truth so I’m going to believe he doesn’t have them). I am going to guess that he attended a prestigious private university (in 2021-2022 tuition for one year at CMU was $58,924 and in 2023 it was $62,260 with another nearly $20k for room and meal plan) on a combination of Pell Grants (for students with exceptional financial need) and merit based scholarships (due to good grades in high school). This means that Brian, in order to gain admission and to earn scholarships to afford to go, despite all his antics at school (ahem chemistry club!), was studious enough to earn the grades needed. This is no small thing. For comparison, I attended a high school in one of the wealthiest school districts in the US and I had special counselors who helped me decide what schools to apply to, how to craft my applications to be more competitive, and I was taught explicitly ways of approaching SATs (college admissions test) that improved my scores (like test taking strategies). Basically I had every advantage. Brian had none of that. I imagine the school district that the Kinneys and Novotnys would live in, would not have all those advantages. In the US, local tax dollars pay for schools - wealthy areas have better schools as a result. It says a lot about Brian - his determination, his native intelligence, and his ability to code-switch and pass as someone who belongs as at a place like CMU - that he succeeded.

This is also the first time that he is apart from Mikey. He’s making new friends like Lindsay who come from wealth and privilege and getting a taste of that life. He is also away from Mikey’s hero worship and any pressure from Mikey (and Debbie) to date Mikey. He probably sleeps his way through the gay, bisexual, and questioning male student body. I do believe at this point he probably hadn’t instituted his “no repeats” rule but he learns that after a certain number of hook ups, expectations begin to build. He doesn’t want to be his father, so it’s safest to make sure his partners have no expectations. He learns that if people expect the least and the worst from him, he will never disappoint them.

We know that if he wasn’t before, he’s certainly experimenting with drugs in college (references to spiking the punch with ecstasy after Lindsay’s heart was broken). He is studying something that is immediately practical (we do not know if he goes onto graduate school, but my headcanon is that he does not - he would have gotten his masters degree in marketing or business and those are expensive and, again, he doesn’t seem to have student loans). I believe he studies marketing, but though general coursework, his own intelligence and curiosity, he learns enough about the arts and other areas of study to be able to pass in upper class worlds and not betray his working class roots. And to appreciate Justin’s talent. Of course.

Post College/Adulthood

He is hired by Ryder Advertising and quickly moves up the ranks. He purchases his own home (the loft) and decorates it with only the fanciest furniture and appliances. He wears designer clothes. He wants to fit in and belong to this world that is so different than where he came from.

My guess is that by the time he’s working at Ryder, he has fully become the man, the myth, the legend we meet in the pilot.

No apologies - he learned that early on from Jack, apologies are meaningless.

No regrets - life as a gay man may be difficult, but he is not going shy away from experiences just because it might make his life harder. His life has already been hard on someone else’s terms. If it’s going to be hard again, it may as well be on his own terms.

Actions matter more than words, unless those words are from someone he believes cares about him in which case, if they are negative, they are true.

Protect others, even to the detriment of yourself. People want you for what you can do for them (protect them from bullies, make them feel special for one night) not for who you are.

Brian has no model of nonmonogamy that isn’t monogamy with cheating. He cannot conceive, until Justin comes along, that he can have a primary partner and also have an open relationship.

Being a “Stud” is another status symbol, like the loft, like the Jeep, like his wardrobe.

Everything is a wall built from his childhood to protect himself from the pain he experienced and to protect others from what he believes is his destiny - to hurt others the way his father hurt his mother and him. Walls don’t just keep out others, they protect others from the (imagined) monster within.

There is a good fic on Midnight Whispers that goes into this quite a bit: Why Not with Me