#not that it is a problem to engage with that be it in fiction or real life. i would be a hypocrite to say so
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「 Holidate | A Very Merry Footballer Ficmas 」
summary: you agree to fake date trent to save his image during the holiday season, but the lines on the contract start to blur | MDNI 18+
warnings: fake dating trope, teasing, fingering, unprotected sex, praise kink, dirty talk, alcohol consumption, language, smau, lighthearted angst, banter, kinda chaotic, **extended fam briefly mentioned are fictional 🎅🏾: sleigh got stuck in traffic so i’m late, forgive me | finale of my ficmas series wc: ~13.8k
You were halfway through your second cup of coffee, scrolling through emails like you usually did in the morning, when a peculiar email popped up.
From: Tyler Alexander-Arnold
Subject: Collaboration Proposal
You squinted at the name, thinking it sounded vaguely familiar but you weren’t sure why until it clicked. Trent Alexander-Arnold’s older brother. The footballer. You groaned, already feeling like there was going to be utter nonsense attached to the message. Athletes in your DMs and emails were nothing new, but they usually wanted shoutouts or some ‘collab’ that was a thinly veiled way of sliding into your messages for a hookup. You weren’t about to entertain a guy who thought sending his club’s match tickets was romantic.
But curiosity got the best of you:
Hi Y/N, I hope this email finds you well. My name is Tyler and I manage my brother, Trent Alexander-Arnold. PLG has followed your work for a while and we’re impressed by your authentic and engaging brand. I wanted to reach out with a unique proposal that I believe could be mutually beneficial. Trent is looking to shift his public image after recent media challenges, and we believe a collaborative effort with someone like you could help him accomplish this. The idea involves a short term arrangement posing as Trent’s girlfriend during the holidays with the possibility of extending the partnership into next year. We understand your time and reputation are valuable and will ensure all aspects of this arrangement align with your standards. Compensation and details are attached for your review. I look forward to hearing from you. Best regards, Tyler Alexander-Arnold
You stared at the screen, mouth slightly open. You had your fair share of wild pitch ideas before, but this was...new. A footballer fake boyfriend? For what? And why you?? You weren’t even the type – at least not for the girlfriend aesthetic they usually went for.
You scrolled down to the attached terms and your jaw dropped at the six figure amount of total compensation, and that wasn’t even including the performance bonus. The number was so pretty you wanted to print it out just to stare at it physically. A six month contract to ‘date’ Trent with a minimum of public appearances and the ability to control your own content. They were basically handing you all the creative freedom you demanded so often in every partnership you were ever a part of. But your pride was screaming at you. You built your brand on being authentic. Your followers trusted you because you weren’t fake. They would be able to sniff out any bullshit from you in milliseconds. You didn’t know if you could play it off that well.
Just as you were in your thoughts, doom scrolling through Instagram, you landed on a post about Trent.
SpillTheBeansUK: Trent Alexander-Arnold spotted partying at 4 am while Liverpool struggles on the pitch. Distraction much?
mintleaf: WHERE the FUCK is TYLER
realmrsTAA: he’s just having fun you miserable lot. leave my man alone 😤
YNWA_forever: he’s out clubbing while salah’s carrying the club? embarrassing look as vice cap
oh_shes_nosy: 4 am? with who though?? 👀 don’t let it be another ig baddie omg
ShutUpAndDefend: can’t defend on pitch but can defend a bottle of liquor fuck this guy
Footiebro: bruh just stay home and train. nobody asked for this shit wtf is his problem
DramaLlama12: this man said ‘defense’? never heard of her. shots at 4am? say lesssss
tumblrinagurl: need him to be so serious he’s messing up my fanfic posting schedule, follow the fucking script what the fuck
FPLQueen: this is exactly why i took him out of my fantasy team weeks ago. this is a big L
girl_shutup: not my man getting roasted while he’s just living his life 😭 y’all are haters fr
Shady_LFC: pov: you’re just a local lad from liverpool who wants to vibe
The entirety of the comments section was a battlefield. You sighed and toggled back to the email. It wasn’t your business what kind of PR storm he landed himself in, but if his camp was offering this type of money, he must’ve really fucked up.
Two days later, you found yourself in Manchester, sitting across from Tyler in a pristine meeting room at PLG. The room was sleek with chairs that looked expensive but were so uncomfortable. Tyler was polite but he didn’t look all that professional for someone who was supposed to be managing a high profile footballer.
“Uh, thanks for coming” he started, handing you a glossy folder. “I know it’s unconventional but I really think you’re the right person for this kind of arrangement.”
“Unconventional?” you raised an eyebrow, flipping through the paperwork. “Mate, this is unhinged. I’ve never had a request like this before.”
Tyler smiled sheepishly but just as he was about to respond, the door opened and Trent sauntered in. God forbid he enter the room like a normal person, he just had to be loud and obnoxious about it. He looked taller than you expected him to look, and he wore a tracksuit, totally unfashionable but it worked for him somehow. He nodded at Tyler before looking at you with an expression that was somewhere between bored and mildly annoyed.
“So this is her then, yeah?” Trent asked, as if you weren’t literally in the same room as him.
You leaned back in your chair, unimpressed. “And this is the guy who can’t keep his head on straight?”
Trent’s lips twitched as if he wanted to smile but refused to give you the satisfaction of it. Tyler exhaled, sensing there was likely more chaos to come from this little arrangement.
“Let’s stay focused” Tyler said firmly, pulling up the digital presentation he prepared. “The plan is to recalibrate Trent’s image and make him appear more serious and stable. Y/N’s audience aligns well with that narrative and her credibility can strengthen the likelihood of people believing this.”
“Sounds great” you said while closing the folder. “What’s in it for me though? Besides the headache.”
Trent snorted at your statement which earned him a glare from Tyler. “You’re getting paid aren’t you??”
“Trent.” Tyler replied sharply, then turned back to you. “There’s significant compensation and full creative control over your content. You also have the chance to build a connection with a large audience outside of your typical demographic. PLG will manage all the logistics and you don’t have to lift a finger unless you really want to.”
It was a good pitch, a lot better than you expected, but Trent’s attitude was already grating you. “I have one condition.” You snapped the folder shut dramatically and Tyler gestured for you to continue.
“I need your brother to at least pretend he’s interested in this. If he looks like he hates me in every picture my followers will clock it easily.”
Trent leaned back in his chair, smirking. “Relax. I’ll play nice.”
“You better” you shot back, grabbing your purse. “I’m not here to save your ass mate. I’m only doing it because the money is too good to pass up. And I actually know how to curate an image unlike you.”
Trent scoffed, rolling his eyes at your jab. “Curate an image? By doing what? Posting oat milk lattes and sunsets?”
“Try millions of people who actually care about what I say and what I buy” you fired back, standing up to adjust your bag strap. “But you? You’re lucky if anyone even reads your dry ass captions.”
Tyler pinched the bridge of his nose like he was deeply regretting his life choices. “Okay..enough. Both of you.” He turned to Trent with a warning expression. “Y/N is here to help you and we’re paying her a lot of money to make sure you don’t turn into a liability.”
Trent rubbed his hand over his forehead and crossed his arms, his smirk still in place. “Got it. I’ll be the perfect fake boyfriend.”
“You’re already bad at it” you muttered under your breath.
“Okay stop.” Tyler interrupted before Trent could come back with anything else. He stood up, motioning for you to sit back down. “We’ll need to go over specifics so you don’t mess up anything when this starts.”
“Right. Because I’m the one that’s gonna be a problem.” you answered back dryly, making Trent chuckle quietly. Tyler pulled up another presentation on screen with multiple bullet points and mocked up photos. “This is how this is gonna work. We’re going to start small with discreet hints like stories and maybe some pictures while you’re in Liverpool for the holidays. Make sure it’s subtle. Y/N, if your followers are eagle eyed we need to make sure it’s not too obvious at first.”
You nodded, already mentally calculating how to stage something that was lowkey but believable. “Got it. But what about him?” You jerked your thumb toward Trent, who looked like he would rather be anywhere but in the meeting room.
“He’ll match your posts,” Tyler said. “Simple stuff only though, like sharing ambiguous shots. Nothing too heavy.”
Trent scoffed and cocked his brow. “So what? Like a blurry picture of my trainers and call it a day?”
“Oh my god” you muttered, shaking your head. “You literally have no sauce. None. You’re so boring.”
“Moving on…” Tyler cut in before another argument could break out. “You’ll spend Christmas and Boxing Day with us at our family’s house in Liverpool. So you have to play the part for social media and for our parents, Marcel, and family friends. I’ll be the only one in on this.”
Trent frowned, not liking that idea at all. “Do they really need to be involved?”
“Yes.” Tyler answered matter of factly. “Because if we can’t convince them, then there’s no chance anyone else will believe it either.”
You raised your hand like you were in a classroom. “Mmk, quick question. What’s the backstory? How did we meet...how long have we been fake dating?”
Tyler pulled up a slide titled ‘Backstory’ and you glanced over it quickly, wanting to complain because it literally looked like he stole the idea from a girl blogger on the internet.
“You met at a private influencer event in London–”
Trent interrupted, “What’s an influencer event?”
You blinked at him. “Are you that fucking dumb?? There’s no way…”
“It’s like the stuff you post” Tyler deadpanned. “Clothes, photographers, influencers, models. Anyway...you hit it off, exchanged numbers and started seeing each other about four months ago and kept it lowkey because you wanted privacy.”
“Four months?” Trent questioned while frowning. “Isn’t that a little short?”
“Not when you’re a serial dating Libra…” you shot back. “And honestly the less time we pretend to have been together, the less likely we are to mess up the details.”
Tyler nodded. “Exactly that. But you still need to act like you’ve been dating for months. Know each other’s habits, inside jokes, favorite things.”
You tilted your head at Trent, narrowing your eyes. “Right. What’s your favorite food Trent?”
He looked like you asked him for the code to his house. “Um..protein I guess?”
“What? That’s not—I know you’re fucking lying” You slumped back in your chair, rubbing your temples from the regret. “This is going to be a disaster.”
Tyler ignored the tension and instead moved on. “After the holidays you’ll need to continue with the occasional post for the next month..just enough to keep the story alive online, but you don’t have to be seen with him publicly at all until February. We’ll do a hard launch in February with photos together and maybe a public appearance. After that, just a few photos online here and there.”
“And then we break up just in time for hot girl summer” you added, pretending it was a joke but it really wasn’t. You weren’t trying to let this affect your time on a yacht under the sun in Capri.
Trent smirked. “Hot girl summer??”
You gawked at him. “Meg the– wait are you serious? Are you on the internet at all??”
Tyler cut in with a firm voice. “Can you both shut up for two seconds? This will only work if it’s convincing. That means no fighting in front of people. Especially in public.” You rolled your eyes but stayed quiet, glancing over at Trent who was scrolling through his phone under the table. Probably googling himself knowing him.
After the meeting was over, you left the building with a heavy sigh that felt like it came straight from the soul. You couldn’t believe you accepted the proposal and were now under the contractual obligation to deal with Trent and his extensive attitude for the next six months. The cold air hit your face as you stepped into the car park and you pulled your purse closer as if to shield yourself from whatever chaos Trent was bound to bring in these next couple of months.
The sound of footsteps behind you made you groan internally. Speak of the devil.
“You always this fun or is it all for me?” His voice was smug, his accent rolled the words off in a way that made you have to pause just to think about what he said and that grated your nerves already. When you turned around, his hands were shoved into the pockets of his joggers, leaning against a black car. Of course he followed you out.
“Only for you mate. Consider it your welcome package..or an early Christmas gift” you deadpanned while still fumbling with your purse.
“Lucky me.” Somehow he made it sound like he meant it. Maybe he wasn’t all that clueless..or maybe he was just fucking with you.
“Don’t push it.” You yanked open the door of the hired car waiting for you, already done with his small talk.
“It won’t be so bad” he smirked, like it was some kind of joke to him. Like he wasn’t the one who needed this arrangement to clean up his trainwreck of an image.
“Just act like you’ve been somewhere before” You paused before you slid into the car. “Show up, smile, and don’t say anything stupid. That’s all I need from you. No more, no less.” You swung your legs in and reached for the door, about to close it, but his voice stopped you.
“Wait! What’s your favorite food?”
Your hand froze mid reach and you looked up to give him an unimpressed look. “Why?”
He shrugged, far too pleased with himself for someone whose job it was to not piss you off. “I think I should know. Seeing as I’m pretending to be the love of your life and all.”
The sheer audacity of this man was maddening. “Love of my life?? Please” you snorted. “I’m only mildly okay with you right now. I tolerate you. That’s it.”
“Ok. Fine. So what is it then?” he pressed, enjoying the way you rolled your eyes at nearly everything coming out of his mouth.
“Shrimp fried rice” you snapped, yanking the door shut. Through the tinted window you saw him grin and you shook your head, slumping into your seat as the car pulled off. You weren’t sure if it was the money, the challenge, or the audacity of Trent that made you agree to any of this.
Whatever it was, you knew it was going to be the longest six months of your life.
You made it to Manchester two days early to ‘acclimate’ as Tyler called it, but in all actuality you needed time to figure out how to make this situation feel less like reality TV. Posting subtle hints on Instagram was your first step. Just enough to start the speculation without turning everything into a circus. Your first story was a panoramic view of Manchester from your hotel room, where you left a cute caption about not being in London or Los Angeles for once. The comments rolled in nearly immediately. People wanted to know why you were in Manchester for the holidays, and whether it was for a brand deal, or a new beau. Your next story was a picture of your luggage, strategically unzipped to show a small piece of a Liverpool scarf tucked inside. You didn’t even caption it, you just let everyone draw their own conclusions.
Later that week, you were in the passenger seat of Trent’s car as he drove the both of you to Liverpool. It was silent, but it wasn’t uncomfortable, the silence was just there. You had your airpods in, half tuned into a podcast, while he had one hand on the wheel and the other scrolling through a Spotify playlist, probably looking for some stupid Drake song to play.
“This is your plan then?” he asked suddenly, breaking the silence.
You pulled out one airpod and glanced at him. “What?”
“This instagram stuff.” He gestured toward your phone. “I saw your story. Not bad. Kind of dramatic though..don’t you think?”
You raised an eyebrow. “Says the one having a PR disaster so terrible he had get his brother to hire a fake girlfriend for him.”
Trent smirked, turning his eyes back to the road. “Ah, fair. But a Liverpool scarf is a lot. That’s gonna cause some shit.”
“That’s the entire point. My followers will be on it in minutes and by the time we show up at your parents’, half the internet will have think pieces about how we’re madly in love.”
“Madly in love?” He shook his head, laughing. “That’s overkill.”
You shrugged, looking through your camera roll for your next post. “I know what I’m doing. Trust me.”
The Alexander-Arnold house was exactly what you imagined. It wasn’t obnoxiously huge but it was comfortable and cozy. The home’s exterior was decorated with Christmas lights and a wreath hung on the front door that looked handmade.
You stood on the doorstep with bated breath. Trent was next to you with his hands shoved in his pockets, as unbothered as ever. If he was nervous about selling this relationship to his family, it didn’t really show.
“Ready?” he asked with a faint smirk.
“Are you?” you cocked your brow. “I’m not the one who waited until two days ago to mention I existed.” Trent winced but didn’t respond and instead pressed the doorbell. You didn’t know why he did that considering he could’ve just walked in. Maybe he was nervous. Either way, him not taking the responsibility over the fact that his mum would probably clock both of you had you annoyed. The door opened shortly after and his mum stood there, all smiles and festive. There was a look in her eye that told you she wasn’t buying any of this nonsense from the start. “Oh! You must be Y/N!” she greeted warmly, stepping forward and pulling you into a hug before you could even say hello. The hug felt genuine enough, but it also had that undertone of ‘lets see whats really going on here’.
You blinked, trying not to overthink things. “Hiii, so nice to meet you Mrs. Alex–”
“Dianne. Just call me Dianne” she interrupted, pulling back but keeping her hands on your arms while looking at you. “No need to be formal. You’re family for the holidays.”
Family. Right. That’s what this was. You were Trent’s ‘girlfriend’. You forced a smile, ignoring the way your stomach was turning as a result of her response. Trent’s dad appeared behind his mum and he gave you a firm handshake, but his expression was less warm and more reserved.
“Welcome. Glad you’re here to join us” he said simply.
“Thanks for having me” you replied, trying to keep your tone polite but still warm.
Marcel was leaning against the staircase in the hall with his arms crossed, displaying a shit eating grin plastered across his face. “So” he began, dragging the word out as he straightened up and walked over with a stroll. “You’re the random girlfriend that’s popped up out of nowhere.”
You felt your pulse spike but you forced yourself to laugh. “Yeah..I guess that’s me.”
“Hmm” he hummed, tilting his head. “Funny you’ve never been mentioned before until two days ago. Not even once.”
Your smile tightened and you glanced at Trent, hoping he would swoop in and save the day with something clever but he just stood there looking like he was vaguely amused by the whole thing.
“Marcel, don’t be rude,” Dianne warned lightly.
“I’m not!” Marcel kissed his teeth. “I’m just saying it’s mad he’s never mentioned her and now she’s here for Christmas. I don’t know this girl..never seen her a day in my life.” He turned back to you with a cheeky grin. “How’d you meet? Paris? Milan? Ibiza??”
You really wanted to knock Trent upside his head at this point but instead you gave a sweet smile. “At a private influencer event actually.”
Dianne laughed, knowing her son wasn’t serious enough to attend a private event like that. She looked at him, trying to figure out if all of this was bullshit. Marcel didn’t even try to hide his disbelief. “Yeah, sure. What was the event called?”
Your stomach dropped and you went wide eyed. You could’ve googled literally anything about Trent’s past couple of months to make this more believable, but you didn’t and clearly neither had he. You paused to think for a little bit, which was just long enough for Marcel to attack.
“Yeah that’s what I thought” he smirked.
“Alright that’s enough” Dianne interrupted, but it was clear she was waiting for that answer as well. “Marcel leave the poor girl alone.”
Michael cleared his throat and stepped in. “Dinner’s in an hour.”
By the time Christmas dinner rolled around, you sat down next to Trent, almost too distracted by the food to notice the tension brewing at the table, but then his mum’s voice cut through your distraction like a blade wrapped in sugar.
“So Y/N..” She handed you a gravy boat with a fake smile. “How long have you two been together?”
“Four months” you answered with ease, remembering the backstory presentation. You looked at Trent for a brief moment to make sure he was following along.
“Three” Trent said through a mouthful of roasted potatoes while not even looking up.
You scrunched your face, blinking back disbelief. “Four.”
“No it’s three” he insisted, frowning as he reached for some rice. “September, right?”
“August” you corrected him through clenched teeth and kicked him under the table. His fork froze mid air and he finally looked at you.
“August?”
“Yes” you hissed, trying to keep the forced smile on your face while glancing back at his mum, who was watching like a hawk. “The end of August.”
Trent shrugged, and went back to eating the food from his plate. “That’s basically September.”
“It’s really not.”
Dianne’s eyes darted between both of you with a smile still there, but curiosity very obviously piqued. “Strange..” she started lightly. “I don’t remember hearing about you in August or September. He didn’t mention you until just a few days ago.” Marcel almost choked on his drink from laughing, and even their dad chuckled to himself before taking a sip of his drink.
“I didn’t want to jinx it that’s all” Trent said casually while leaning back in his chair, still popping food into his mouth.
You glared at him. “Jinx it?”
“Yeah” he smirked, looking at you. “Didn’t wanna rush things y’know?”
You bit down on the side of your cheek to keep from snapping at him. He wasn’t following the script at all. He was barely trying, mostly hoping to coast on charm like it would cover all the gaping holes in your ‘love’ story.
“Right…” Dianne slowly spoke while arching her brow just enough to make you feel nervous. “So where did this event happen again?”
“London” you answered fast before Trent found a way to ruin that too, but he answered at the same time as you, with a completely different answer.
“Paris.”
Marcel snorted into his drink, laughing so hard he started bumping the table and made the cutlery rattle. Across from you, their mum had a smile still on her face but the look on her face drilled right into your badly built backstory. She didn’t say anything, but you knew she had more questions when she eyed Michael with a knowing glance. You turned to Trent, narrowing your eyes at him and gave him another kick under the table that landed on his shin. He jumped forward and dropped his fork on his plate.
“London” you repeated in a tight voice with a smile that was more of a grimace. “We met in London at the influencer event.”
Trent nodded, rubbing his shin but still smirking, not taking any of this seriously. “Yeah London. The city with all the..... influencer stuff.”
Marcel nearly slid out of his chair from failing to keep his laughs at an appropriate volume at the table. Dianne looked at him with a warning but it didn’t bother him in the slightest. He leaned forward and rested his chin on his hand with an entertained look on his face. “Oh yeah?” he said grinning. “Since you’re so in love, what’s her favorite food then?”
You could see the gears in Trent’s head trying their very best to come up with an answer while he chewed his food. “Uhhh....” He drew the word out for so long you wanted to answer for him. “Shrimp fried rice?” You let out a soft exhale, surprised he actually listened in the car park. Marcel wasn’t impressed and tipped his head back to cackle.
“Took you long enough to answer.”
By this point, the entire family was trying to hide their laughs from the absurdity of the situation. Their dad even cracked a smile and shook his head as he passed a plate of roasted veggies to Marcel.
“Trent” Dianne dabbed her mouth with a napkin, still smiling. “You’re absolutely hopeless when it comes to relationships.”
“I’m not hopeless” he contested, glaring at Marcel who was still in stitches over the whole ordeal.
“Oh, love” you said sweetly, leaning in close enough to lower your voice. “You really are.”
He tilted his head, cutting his eyes at you but he had a playful look in his eye at the same time. “Careful. You’re supposed to be in love with me, remember?”
You smirked, raising your glass like you were doing a toast. “I must be a really great actress then.”
The sound of the door opening saved you from whatever dumb thing Trent was about to say. Tyler walked in a casual rush, juggling a reusable tote bag and his phone. “Sorry I’m late.” He slid in the chair next to Michael. His wife wasn’t far behind and had a baby on her hip, smiling to make up for Tyler’s disheveled state.
“Tyler!” Dianne exclaimed, momentarily distracted by her eldest child. “We were just about to have dessert. There’s plenty of food left, let me fix you a plate.”
“No need” Tyler replied while waving her off with a smile. His gaze shifted to you first, and then Trent. “You two alright?”
“Great.” Trent answered, dragging the word out in a very unbothered tone.
“Fantastic” you added, side eyeing Trent.
“Good..” Tyler clapped his hands together. “Because I brought something to make this whole thing even better.” From the tote bag, Tyler pulled out two neatly wrapped presents and handed one to both of you under the table with a wink.
“What’s this?” you asked in a whisper, frowning while trying to discreetly look at the tag.
“Just go with it,” Tyler whispered back. “It strengthens the story. Just act surprised.”
Trent shook the box in his hands like it came from the North Pole, fresh off the sleigh. “What is it?” he asked, too loud for the covert operation Tyler planned.
Marcel’s eyes lit up immediately. “Hey, what’s all that?”
“It’s nothing” you glared at Trent and then Marcel. “Just something we brought for each other.”
Dianne’s attention turned back to you and you felt her sizing up the gifts that had randomly appeared all of a sudden. “How thoughtful…”
You reluctantly tore into the wrapping paper. Inside, there was a Diptyque gift set and a pair of designer sunglasses from Jacques Marie Mage that were so exclusive they had yet to hit most influencer’s feeds. It was perfectly on brand and very believable. Trent unwrapped his gift with the same flair of a child. Inside was a custom bag from Goyard with his initials engraved, and a high tech Hypervolt massage gun that hadn’t been released yet.
“Nice” Trent exclaimed while holding both up like it was a trophy. “You have good taste baby.”
Baby?
The table paused collectively. Dianne’s eyes froze on both of you, Marcel peered at you over the rim of his glass, Michael leaned back with a curious look on his face. Tyler gave you a subtle thumbs up from across the table and you wanted to strangle him.
“Baby?” you repeated in a confused tone. “Where did that come from?”
“Just felt right. Don’t you think?” Trent shrugged with a smirk.
You clenched your teeth, glancing over at the baby that was now side eyeing you too. You gave her a sweet smile and she frowned at you more. “Oh it’s perfect.”
Michael broke the silence with a hearty laugh. “Well..it’s nice to see you two so close.”
“Oh, we’re close” you said quickly, giving Trent a look that could kill.
“Basically inseparable” he added, winking as he set the gifts on the table. Tyler cleared his throat to try and get the conversation back on track. “So, Mum..what’s for dessert?”
Thank god Dianne didn’t press any further after Tyler’s distraction, but you knew this was far from over. When no one was watching, Trent leaned toward you in a low and smug voice. “Relax. You’re doing great.”
You didn’t even bother looking at him because you were so annoyed.
“Stick to the script or I swear I’ll throw one of these Diptyque candles at your head.”
Trent chuckled, leaning back in his chair. “Looking forward to it…..baby.”
By the time dinner was over, you walked upstairs to kick off your heels and Trent had already claimed the bathroom. You could hear the sound of running water and his terrible singing drifting through the door as you sat on the bed, laying out your carefully curated skincare routine: cleansing oil for your makeup removal, glycerin cleanser for moisture, red light therapy, centella toner, hyaluronic acid serum, eye serum, ceramidin moisturizer, a spritzer of atobarrier cream mist, and a sleeping lip mask. You lined them up on the table like little soldiers. When Trent finally came out of the shower, his towel was wrapped around his hips and he paused mid step, staring at your collection of bottles and jars.
“What the hell is all of that?” he asked, pointing with his toothbrush still in hand.
“It’s called flawless, glass skin” you shot back, reaching for the oil cleanser and heading to the bathroom. He leaned against the wall with a smirk. “You look like a chemist.”
“Don’t knock it til you try it” you ignored him as you massaged the oil cleanser into your skin. “This is why I look like this” you gestured to your face, “and you’re just...you know.”
Cute? He was cute. But there was no need to gas him up.
“Just what?”
“Nevermind.” you muttered, grabbing your face towel.
“Nah. Finish it. Go on” he teased, stepping gloser. “Already halfway there anyway.”
You glared at him. “If you don’t get out of my face…” Trent turned to adjust the towel around his hip and it slipped. The towel fell on the floor and his dick was in full display. Not bad honestly – thick with a slight curve that was...kind of aesthetically pleasing. Your mouth dropped before you could realize and you turned around so fast you almost knocked over a serum bottle.
“Oh my god! Trent!”
“What?” he asked, way too casual for someone who just flashed you. “It’s just skin. You’re acting like you’ve never seen one before.”
“Not the point!” you yelled, keeping your eyes firmly on the wall while he laughed. Eventually, he bent down to grab the towel and you could hear the smirk in his voice when he spoke again.
“Chill. Don’t act like you weren’t curious about it anyway. Gonna post my dick report anonymously online now?”
You turned back to glare at him now that he was safely wrapped back in the towel. “Please. I’m sure the girls you were with at 4am have already done that for you. Just..don’t let it happen again or I’m actually going to gouge my eyes out.”
He grinned at you, strolling over to the bed like he didn’t just traumatize you. “You’re dramatic. It’s cute.”
After the dick debacle, you climbed into bed, muttering under your breath about boundaries and respect. Trent flopped down next to you while scrolling through his phone without a care in the world.
“You’re actually so annoying” you said while setting up the perfect soft launch shot.
“Yeah, I’ve heard that one a few times,” he replied without looking up.
You ignored him to focus on the picture. It was supposed to be subtle, yet strategic: your skincare bottles glowed under the warm light from the lamp on the bedside table. In the background, Trent was slightly blurred from the setting, yet identifiable as he laid on the bed, legs crossed with his phone in one hand. The caption you added: ‘never let santa stop this slay, skincare always 🎄✨’. By the time you posted the story, your phone was already pinging because SpillTheBeansUK had posted it with a quickness.
SpillTheBeansUK: Who’s the mystery man in Y/N’s background? The skincare? Impeccable. The vibes? Cozy. But that ARM…who’s claiming it? 🕵️♀️
ynstan99: WAIT. WHO IS THAT IN THE BACKGROUND?
liverpoolbabe01: that’s defo liverpool and that’s trent’s fam’s house i recognize it bc my mum’s cousin’s best friend’s sister’s brother in law lives just across the road omg she bagged a footballer???
nosygirlfc: GIRL WE KNOW THAT’S TRENT WE’RE NOT DUMB
“What are you posting?” Trent asked, glancing over at your screen.
“Work” you replied simply, turning your phone toward him. “You see that? That’s how you soft launch.”
He studied the story for a bit and nodded while smirking. “Not bad. My turn.”
“You’re posting something?”
“Yup” he replied plainly, scrolling through his camera roll. Minutes later he posted a random photo of his feet propped on a coffee table next to the Christmas tree downstairs, with your phone case barely visible at the edge of the frame that he took earlier. His caption was lame and boring: Holiday vibes.
“That’s so pathetic” you shook your head.
“It’s subtle,” he argued, leaning back against the pillows.
“It’s lazy” you argued back, setting your phone off to the side.
“Lazy works.” He turned off the light, smirking. You rolled your eyes but didn’t respond and pulled the blanket up while turning away from him. The room went quiet before he broke the silence with his sarcasm just as you were starting to drift off to sleep. “Night, my love.”
--
You should’ve known Boxing Day wasn’t going to be about lounging around in pajamas and eating leftovers while scrolling through Instagram in peace. Not when Tyler was involved.
The man had sent a fully detailed itinerary to both of you at an ungodly hour that morning, outlining what he dramatically called ‘The Boxing Day Stroll’. The plan was to head to Manchester, walk around casually, and let the pre-arranged paparazzi do their thing. Of course it wouldn’t be all that easy because the man had already messed up damn near everything else in this facade.
“Just act natural” Tyler said while driving you over to the staged area. “And look like you can’t get enough of each other.” As the car pulled to a stop, you glanced over at Trent who was slouched in his seat, lazily scrolling through a dating app on his phone when he was supposed to be fake dating you.
“You do remember what we’re doing, right?” you asked.
“Walking” he said without looking up.
“Walking and looking like we’re deeply, madly, dangerously in love” you corrected him. “So don’t glare, or pout, and don’t say anything idiotic when someone asks what my name is.”
Trent finally looked up and his lips curved into that same infuriating smirk that pissed you off. “You’re very bossy, you know that?”
“And you’re very bad at following directions.” you argued back.
“Relax baby. I’ll be on my best behaviour.”
“Don’t call me baby” you muttered while pulling the car door open before he could irritate you anymore than he already had.
The city was packed with people entering storefronts, couples and families carrying bags from Boxing Day sales, and kids running around screaming from sugar rush. The holiday vibes were still in full force and picturesque enough for you to almost forget the cameras until you heard the sound of a shutter. You tensed and looked over to the source of the sound but Trent was still unbothered by it, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. He must’ve done these before. He annoyingly looked good even though all he did was throw on whatever was closest. Meanwhile, your fit was carefully curated and you wore a cute co-ord jumper over a wool coat, jeans, chocolate brown booties with a ribbed fold over knit fabric, a crossbody bag, and assorted jewelry from PR packages you received.
“Hold my hand” you whispered through clenched teeth with a frozen smile while passing a group of shoppers.
“What?”
“Hold. My. Hand.” you repeated with a forced expression while waving at an eager little boy who looked more interested in Trent than you. He rolled his eyes but reached for your hand. His palms were warm and comforting, annoyingly enough.
“Happy now?”
“Ecstatic,” you replied through your fake smile, tilting your head to pretend you were saying something cute instead of wanting to knock him upside his head. As you walked down the street, you could see the paps positioning themselves and whispering about different angles. You stopped in front of a shop window that had the most gorgeous jewellery and pretended to admire a necklace while pulling Trent closer.
“That one’s nice” you pointed to a random piece on display.
“Eh. Too shiny.” he glanced at it for all of two seconds.
You side eyed him. “Too shiny?? It’s a necklace.”
“Yeah. It looks tacky as fuck” he smirked.
“You think that’s tacky?” you cracked back. “You don’t even know how to dress. You have multiple pairs of the same trainers and tracksuits. That’s tacky.”
“Nah. They’re not all the same. Some of them are for athletic wear and the others are for leisure. There’s a difference.”
You almost laughed but quickly covered it with a cough instead. This man was ridiculous in his own way, and it was kind of endearing. When you turned the corner to a quieter street, the paps pretended to be hidden behind strategically placed stalls, waiting for the perfect shot. “Okay..” you muttered, leaning into Trent just enough to be believable. “Let’s just make this quick. Look at me like I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to you.”
“Not too hard to do. You’re easy on the eyes.”
You lost your steps for a little and muttered, “Don’t overdo it,” brushing a nonexistent strand of hair from your face to behind your ear. “Just be calm.”
“I’m calm” he countered, lightly grazing his thumb over your knuckles. “You’re really committed to this shit, huh?”
“Well..your management team is paying me for this so yeah..I am” you tightly smiled. The cameras kept taking photos but you didn’t look toward them this time so that they could get exactly what was needed. The pictures hit the interwebs almost instantly and they were good. There was a candid of you mid laugh as Trent looked at you with a soft expression and melting grin. The second one was a close up of your hands intertwined while you leaned into him. The angle it was taken in made it look like you were sharing a private moment in the middle of a crowded street. The final picture was of Trent breaking off a piece of chocolate and feeding it to you while smiling in a cozy corner of a small shop. That wasn’t planned though, the joy from that was the real deal.
Before you made it back to the car, Tyler was already in the group chat, hyping both of you up. The pictures were reposted by SpillTheBeans too:
SpillTheBeansUK: Trent Alexander-Arnold spotted out with influencer Y/N L/N looking very cozy in Manchester on Boxing Day. Rumour has it, this love story started a few months ago...Any thoughts, Beans? 👀
ynstan99: sobbing, crying, throwing up. LOOK AT THEM
whatRUonabt: PR but i can’t even hate she’s gorg and they look good
reds4vr_: not convinced after that stunt he pulled last week during match. this is obviously fake news to get us off his back
chirpchirp: she’s just like me fr but i can hold his hand better footiebro: she’s leng but i hope bro isn’t serious he’s got too many distractions
giseleeee_: i give it 3 months before they announce a break up this is fake as fuck
plsbereal: imagine him holding her camera silently while she films vlogs and ootd’s i’m screaming 🥺
YNsquad: i can’t wait until she posts her next chaotic story and he’s in the background. confirm it queen!!
You scrolled through all the chaotic comments, shaking your head as Trent leaned in to peek at your screen. “What are they saying?” he asked, more invested than he wanted to let on.
“My fans think you’re obsessed with me” you held back your grin while showing him the comments.
“Nah. Other way around I think” he smirked, cocking his brow.
“Whatever” you rolled your eyes, still scrolling through your phone as the car pulled away.
By the time midweek rolled around, you were wondering why you agreed to any of this. Sitting in the box at Anfield felt like you were walking into enemy territory. This was...cute, but not really your vibe. The launch strategy was working so Tyler insisted you show up to keep up this festive fairytale. The box was filled with WAGS and family members dressed up. You weren’t entirely out of place, your fit was eating theirs up rightfully so, but you still felt like a fish out of water every time someone looked at you for too long. You tried to make the most out of it and half an hour into the match, you posted a curated story of a video on the field, zoomed in just enough to show everyone on the field in clear view with the caption: not usually my vibe but i’ll allow it ⚽
The second slide was a chaotic close up of your freshly done nails in an almond shape holding a drink. The third was a shaky clip of the crowd cheering just as Trent assisted with a goal. It didn’t take long for you know who to start some mess.
SpillTheBeansUK: Y/N posts from the box after her Boxing Day photoshoot with TAA! Official or not? Let the investigations begin 🕵️♀️
loverpoolluvr: she’s just posting random stories. y’all are reading too much into it
overlibramen: how are you lot defending this? man has a new personality every week. let’s bffr
ynbabesfc: nails immaculate and she’s living rent free in your head and trent’s. COPE
sleuthysleuth: the timeline makes sense i’ve got the receipts and it tracks
trentsgfwannabe: i bet she doesn’t even like football and he deserves someone who can actually appreciate the sport
By the time you and Trent made it back to the house that night, you were drained to hell. The day was filled with forced smiles, cameras, and a lot of online chaos that you tried not to look at but ended up scrolling through anyway.
“You okay?” Trent asked in a softer voice than you expected for someone who supposedly didn’t care.
“I’m fine..” you mumbled while grabbing an oversized hoodie you borrowed from him earlier in the week and some pajama shorts. “I just feel like I’m so out of my element right now.”
Trent had already claimed his spot on the bed and was scrolling through his phone with one hand and eating crisps out of the other. “You’re not that bad at it” he replied, looking up at you as you climbed on your side of the bed.
“Wow thanks” you responded dryly and grabbed one of the snacks he was holding out for you. You were both on your phones, scrolling through various apps while crisp bags crinkled noisily through the silence.
“…Do you ever get nervous or scared?” you asked to break through the silence.
“Nervous or scared about what?” He set his phone down, looking at you with a confused look.
“Of losing yourself with all the fame. It’s like.. I’ve built this whole brand online on my own and I have an audience that trusts me a lot because my whole thing is based on being real with them. But this is....not real. And it feels wrong.” You gestured at him and then you. “I’m scared it’s going to ruin things for me.”
Trent nodded at you and took a deep breath. “Yeah, I get it. Everything I do on or off the pitch always feels like it’s for someone else. I don’t always know what I want. And I change my mind a lot.”
You looked at him in surprise, taken aback by what you assumed was honesty. “Really?”
“Yeah..” he leaned back against the headboard. “Feels like I’m a product and not a person sometimes. Sometimes I rebel every once in a while but I guess I took it too far this time.”
For the first time, you saw him as Trent and not some footballer with a PR disaster on his hands. “Well...at least we have this to bond over. Being fake together.”
He laughed then grinned at you with a wide smile. “Yeah...something like that.”
“It’s kind of weird though. Because for something so fake...it’s starting to feel like it’s...not. Since we’re together all the time and whatnot.”
Trent cocked a brow at your last statement. You opened your mouth to backtrack and say something snarky or petty, but your phone rang against the bedside table. The screen lit up with a facetime call and your stomach dropped when you saw the name.
Romeo Cruz.
Romeo was a rising singer in LA that had all the charm, charisma, and a voice that made every girl want to melt. He slid into your DMs months ago, and while it wasn’t anything super serious, there was definitely flirting going on, and it was FUN. You glanced at Trent who was also looking at your screen.
“Who’s that?”
You reached for your phone with hesitation. “Uhh..just someone I know. No biggie.”
Trent leaned back on the headboard with a clenched jaw. “Yeah? Someone important enough to facetime you at nearly midnight?”
You rolled your eyes and ignored him, answering the call anyway. “Romeo! Hey.” On the screen, Romeo appeared with tousled curly hair, a signature smile with dimples, a sharp jawline, and beautifully glowing, sun kissed skin. “Hey beautiful” he dripped in his velvety, deep and smooth voice. “Just checking in. Haven’t heard from you in a while.”
“Yeah, sorry” your tone was a bit light, a little flirty, but you were nervous because Trent was right there, burning his eyes into the side of your face. “Life has been....busy. A little chaotic but you know me, I love that.”
Romeo noticed the tension inflicted in your voice and cocked his head back from the screen a bit in concern. “You good? Where are you? LA or London?”
You didn’t get a chance to answer because Trent reached over and took the phone from your hands like it was his own phone. “She’s busy right now.” He answered for you in a flat tone, holding up the phone so Romeo could see him and his annoying smirk.
“Uh.. and who are you?”
“Her boyfriend,” Trent replied smoothly. “Thanks for the check in mate but she’s good. We’re in the middle of something.” He paused for the drama of it all and then looked at you.
Romeo had a look of disbelief and irritation showing on his face. “Well tell her to call when she’s–”
Trent didn’t let him finish and took the opportunity to cup your chin with one hand, pulling you into a kiss. For something that was fake it felt way too convincing. You felt butterflies in your stomach as his lips met yours. He didn’t pull away immediately, but when he did you were dazed and out of breath. Too stunned to speak. Romeo saw it all and Trent’s face lit up with the cockiest grin ever.
“Yeah I doubt that mate. She’ll be too tired.” He hit the button to end the call.
“What the fuck was that?” you stared at him, your mouth agape in shock.
“What?”
“What????” you repeated, the volume in your voice increasing. “You just kissed me and basically told him I’m taken..like I’m your actual girlfriend! What the fuck??”
Trent popped a crisp into his mouth, chewing obnoxiously and meeting your death glare with a calm look, then he shrugged. “Just following the script, remember?”
--
By New Years Eve, your public side of the bargain was winding down, but Trent was still annoying you more than ever, even after the kiss. The sound of him chewing in your ear was still echoing days later as you stood in front of the mirror of the hotel, adjusting your ponytail again. Your hair was slicked back with the ends flipped up in soft curls that bounced whenever you moved. You had two loose strands in the front. Your followers knew those strands as your ‘slut strands’ – a term you coined because whenever you had those two strands framing your face, things always ended up a little wild. Between the alcohol flowing at the NYE party, the DJ, and Trent by your side, you knew something was bound to happen. You were always a Chatty Cathy on the juice, and the strands were an unofficial warning label that signified you were about to be everyone’s best friend, or a major problem. You adjusted your dress and gave yourself a final look in the mirror. You were trying to give unbothered girlie with a hint of ruining someone’s life one drink at a time. You grinned at yourself, knowing you looked like you were that girl™.
Just as you were about to spritz your perfume, Tyler texted the group chat:
Start heading to the club. The event is popping off atm. Pap friendly corner is just outside near the bar’s exit so make it count.
You rolled your eyes in annoyance. Of course Tyler felt the need to micromanage the party from a distance while acting like he wasn’t the most hands off manager in the industry. He could barely schedule Trent’s interviews on time but was now suddenly invested in making this fake relationship seem so solid. You just wanted to have a good time and be free of this nonsense publically like your contract originally stated.
“I can’t believe all three of the Alexander-Arnold boys are this annoying” you muttered under your breath while putting your heels on.
Your contract made it clear that New Year’s Eve was the grand finale for the public part of the facade. After tonight, you wouldn’t have to parade around looking like you were madly in love anymore. The plan was to silently pull back and make the relationship seem more private with the occasional story, casual mentions, and reposts every once in a while until June, where you would announce a breakup and be free of him for good. You grabbed your purse and headed for the door to meet Trent downstairs. If this was going to be the last time you had to fake it, you were going out with a bang..and you were going to have some fun with it too just to celebrate the end of this mess.
When you reached the lobby of the hotel, Trent was waiting for you and scrolling through his phone. He looked good, his trim was crisp, his fit wasn’t terrible, and he smelled amazingly good. He lowered his phone, eyeing you from head to toe with a clenched jaw.
“Damn” he voiced involuntarily.
You tried to avoid smirking and adjusted the strap of your dress but a smirk still appeared anyway. “That’s it? Just damn? I put a lot of effort in for this look…”
He licked over his lips and finally looked you in the eye. “Then you already know how you look.”
“You’re lucky I’m feeling great or else I’d make you say it with more enthusiasm.”
“Trust me” he started, running a hand over his head. “I’m enthusiastic but you don’t need a bigger head than you already have.”
You rolled your eyes and brushed past him to head to the car waiting outside, your heels tapping against the marbled lobby floor. “Shut up and come on. I can’t deal with you while sober tonight. I need a drink.”
By the time you made it to the club, it was already pure chaos. The bass was so heavy you could feel it in your chest as you walked through the VIP area. There were strobe lights flashing around, illuminating random moments of chaos. A group of footballers were trying to outdrink each other in a booth stacked with empty Clase Azul bottles, an influencer in a bright dress was dancing on a table with a sparkler in one hand, and a model was yelling at a bartender because she couldn’t find a tiny baggie of white substance she drunkenly left at the bar who knows how long ago.
When you and Trent walked in, heads turned and whispers cut through the air. His hand brushed against your back to keep up with the facade. The scent in the air was...interesting. It was a blend of liquor, sweat, perfume and the faint tang of weed smoke. You knew tonight was going to leave a mark whether it be on your reputation, your conscience, or both.
“Where’s Tyler’s pap friendly corner again?” you asked, leaning into Trent so you wouldn’t have to yell over the blaring music.
“Near the bar. But let’s grab a drink first.”
You followed him as the hem of your dress brushed against your thigh. The bar was wild. People were pushing against each other like they would run out of alcohol, or maybe they just really wanted the Getty Images watermark with a top face card photo to memorialize the end of the year. The bartender was busy juggling a bottle of Hennessy with one hand, and pouring multiple shots with the other hand, all while someone was yelling for espresso martinis from the corner.
“Champagne? Martini?” Trent asked, turning to you as you perched against the counter with your hips leaning into the wood.
You shook your head. “A round of shots from top shelf and a coconut water.”
“Uh...that’s specific.” He turned to the bartender, ordering for you and himself.
“It’s so I can get fucked up but still stay hydrated from the electrolytes.” Your hands grazed over the two strands of your hair, very diva like. “You wouldn’t understand. It’s my whole thing..it even went viral on tiktok. Don’t knock it til you try it.”
The drinks arrived quicker than you expected and you downed a couple shots immediately in between sipping the coconut water. Trent nursed his vodka soda with lime, scanning the room with his eyes.
“Don’t be boring” you said, gently shoving two shots closer to him.
“I’m not boring” he replied, eyeing the shots and the way your nails grazed against the top surface of the bar.
“Then prove it. Drink the shots and come dance with me.”
He shook his head before reaching for the shots and downing them both. “I don’t dance.”
“Oh my god, shut the fuck up and live a little” you quickly finished the last of your shots and coconut water and then grabbed his hand, leading him to the dancefloor as the curls in your ponytail bounced between the bass reverberating through the club.
The crowd on the dance floor was just as chaotic in a sea of gyrating bodies and heat. You were too tipsy to be sure of what the DJ switched the song to, but it felt seductive and made you sway your hips automatically. The music took control before your brain could even think about it. You turned toward Trent, moving your body to the beat with ease while he watched. He was locked in, staring at you so hard it almost looked like he didn’t realize he was eyeing you like that.
“You’re really not gonna dance?” you teased, tilted your head as you stepped closer with a flirty smirk.
“I told you I don’t–”
“Shut up Trent” you playfully grabbed his hand and pulled him further into the crowd. “Just dance with me.”
As the alcohol coursed through you, you let your hips find the beat, rolling against him with just enough pressure to test him. You felt him tense up behind you, holding his hands just above your waist like he didn’t know whether to grab you or run away.
“Aren’t you Jamaican?” you yelled over your shoulder with a smirk. “Just relax and let the beat find you.”
He let out an exhale and finally rested his hand on your hip. You arched back a little, grinding into him more and his other hand landed on your ass. His body was betraying him and his breath quickened, trying to think of anything else but your ass grinding against his dick so he wouldn’t get hard. His jaw was tight but then his lips parted when his eyes dropped to the way you were rolling your hips against him. He was barely blinking as he stared. Trent’s grip tightened just enough for you to become aware of it.
“You like dancing, don’t you?” you teased again.
“This isn’t dancing.”
“No?” you dared, grinding against him harder. “Then what is it?”
Trent’s fingers dug into your waist and pulled you up against him. His head dipped closer to your neck and he bit his lip like he was fighting the urge to kiss you there. The lines were quickly blurring in the fog of alcohol and you weren’t sure who was pushing harder to cross them. His breath was hot against your neck as you danced up against him. You felt something stiffen against his lower half but you were so tipsy you thought it was his phone. Trent abruptly pulled back, letting go of you as you stood there confused.
“I need a drink.” He turned back toward the crowd, leaving you standing there trying to catch your breath. Your heart was pounding and your body was bouncing with energy that had nowhere to go thanks to the shots and coconut water you had. Before you knew it, a voice yelled your name, but it wasn’t Trent.
It was Levi Colwill.
“Ahh, Y/N! Trent’s better half” Levi slid into Trent’s place, handing you a shot. “Got your favorite.”
You handed it back to him, forcing a smile. “Levi…”
“You look like you could use some better company” he eyed the outline of your body. “Not that Trent’s bad but..you know I’ll dance with you. Just saying.”
You rolled your eyes but still laughed at him...because you were drunk. “Still stirring the pot like always.”
“You know that’s what I do” He downed the shot you refused. “What you been up to? I know you’re exhausted pretending to be with Trent.”
The alcohol made you bolder. “You get me! He’s so annoying sometimes.”
Levi stepped closer, yelling into your ear over the music. “You know where to find me. Send me a DM when it’s all–”
“Levi” Trent slurred in an irritated tone. “Get the fuck out of here.”
Levi shook his head, sipping the drink in hand and then smirked at Trent. “I was just saying hello.”
Trent gripped your wrist firmly but not painful as he pulled you away from Levi and into a quieter corner of the club, which just so happened to be near the bar’s exit where the paps were waiting for the perfect moment to take pictures.
“What the hell was that?” you hissed, yanking your arm free.
“What was what?” Trent snapped back.
“Dragging me away like some jealous boyfriend. That’s not part of the script Trent.”
Trent’s jaw clenched and he stepped closer, leaning into your ear. “You were enjoying that too much. We’re supposed to be together..you can’t flirt with other guys here.”
You laughed, not believing your ears. “Are you dumb?! You walked away like you couldn’t handle it! I’m just trying to have fun tonight.”
“I walked away because you were making me hard.” he shot back in a drunken state, not realizing what he just admitted to.
Your brain short circuited under the fog of alcohol as the music thumped around you. All you could focus on was the thought of Trent standing in front of you, hard, because you danced on him. Then your brain took it a step further and you remembered the night his towel slipped. You had a split glimpse of him on soft and now your tipsy mind was wondering what it looked like on hard. You felt the heat from your cheeks trail down slowly, making your mouth feel dry and knees weak. You were trying to think of literally anything else but the alcohol coursing through your veins wasn't doing you any favors and neither was the way he was looking at you. Trent’s teeth pulled at his bottom lip like he was fighting his thoughts too. You shifted closer to him, playing with a strand of hair framing your face.
“Trent..” you began in a whisper. You didn’t know if you wanted to apologize, flirt, or tell him to just kiss you. His head dipped toward yours as his lips inched toward yours slowly. You were leaning in without even realizing it and his hands hovered over your waist hesitantly. Your eyes dropped to his lips and you saw him lick his lips like he was priming them.
“Y/N!”
A shrill voice broke through whatever was about to happen and you blinked back as someone grabbed your arm. It was another influencer you knew from a brand event but you couldn’t remember her name in your drunken state. She grinned and hugged you like she didn’t just ruin the most dramatic non-kiss of your life.
“Oh my days, girl I haven’t seen you in forever!” she yelled, dragging you toward a VIP booth that was probably just as chaotic as the rest of the club. Trent stood there with an unreadable expression watching as you were pulled away. He turned his gaze to the paparazzi outside who were very pissed they didn’t get their perfect shot.
Just as the countdown to midnight was about to begin, you found your way back to Trent. The club was louder than ever as the final minutes of the year ticked away. Trent was still in the same spot, nursing a fresh drink while the other hand was shoved in his pocket. He noticed you before you could say anything and you saw his eyes lock onto you with a certain look in his eye.
“Perfect timing” you giggled when you reached him, pulling him closer toward the exit where the paps were standing guard. “This is where Tyler wants us so let’s just get it over with.” You positioned yourselves near the glass doors so they would have a better view. The cold air from outside cooled you down a little, but it did nothing to knock any sort of clarity into you. As soon as the crowd started counting down, the air became tented with anticipation.
10...
9...
Your heart was beating fast against your chest and the alcohol made every sensation feel way stronger. You tilted your face up a little to meet his eyes, but he was already staring at you. Trent’s hand reached to cup your chin and tilt your face further upward.
8...
7...
His thumb brushed over the corner of your lip and the sensation made you exhale softly. He looked you in the eyes first, then at your lips, then back up at your eyes again, making you feel dizzy yet excited at the same time.
6...
5...
You parted your lips slightly with heavily lidded eyes. Both of you were supposed to be ‘acting’ but whatever was going on right now was not staged. His other hand found the dip in your waist, pulling you close enough to feel the fire in his eyes.
4...
3...
You leaned in at the same time, moving on instinct from the magnetism as the cameras outside began to flash. The paps were losing their minds and the shutters went off wildly, but all you could think about was how badly you wanted this kiss.
2...
1...
The room erupted into loud yelling, cheers, and champagne bottles popping as fireworks lit up the London sky outside. The second the cloud struck midnight, Trent’s lips lit a flame in you that made your whole body have goosebumps. His hand found your ass, gripping it firm enough to make you gasp and the tiny noise coming out of you motivated him even more. Your body arched into his as you continued kissing him in a way too entirely real make out session. You palmed the fabric over his dick and he groaned into your mouth, making you moan into his mouth in response. The crowd around you celebrated to a very random club remix of Auld Lang Syne but you were too wrapped up in him to care about celebrating the new year.
You finally pulled back breathless while staring at him. His lips were a little swollen but the fire was still in his eyes.
“We need to leave before they get the wrong pics” you blurted out, slurring your words from being tipsy but also flustered.
“Yeah” he said with his hand still on the curve of your back. “Hotel?”
“Hotel.”
When you made it back to the hotel and the lift doors closed, your back hit the mirrored wall as Trent pinned you into the corner. His hand slid over your thighs and the fabric of your dress bunched up.
“Thought I annoyed you” he muttered against your ear as his fingers slipped between your thighs.
“You still do” you replied back sassily, but then you gasped when he found the thin strap of your thong and tugged it against the folds of your pussy. The friction made you whimper and you dug your nails into his arm for stability. “But I can multitalk.”
“Yeah?” He smirked, gripping your thigh to open you up more. His other hand kept working the fabric of the thong, sliding it up and down until you were grinding against his knuckles. “Fuck you're soaked. This for me?”
“Shut up” you hissed while tugging at the button of his jeans with shaky fingers. When the lift dinged on your floor, you barely made it to the room before his hands were pulling, grabbing, and claiming you. He pressed you against a huge window of the hotel room while the fireworks were still popping off in the night sky.
“Take it off” you demanded, yanking at Trent’s shirt.
He pulled it over his head to show off his toned, muscled body that had been haunting you since the towel accident. You didn’t have much time to admire any of it because his hands were already undoing your dress, dropping it to your feet. The cool glass of the window pressed up against your bare skin and you shook a little when his lips latched on your neck, sucking and biting while his hands roamed over you. You moaned his name in a whimpered beg and arched into him when his mouth moved down to your boobs. His tongue ran over your nipple and he wrapped his lips around it, suckling gently and massaging the other with his hand. You gasped, clutching his shoulders and melting your body into his.
“You beg so pretty” he murmured against your skin. “What do you want, pretty girl? Tell me.”
“You” you panted in a trembling voice. “I need you inside me now.”
Trent groaned and ran his fingers between your folds to find your clit. The circles he rubbed against the sensitive nub made you moan loudly. “Not yet,” he rasped. “Need to feel how ready you are.” A broken sob escaped you when his fingers slid inside your pussy. His fingers were long enough to reach a spot that made your knees weak as he worked you open. Your head fell against the window as the squelch of your wetness filled the hotel room.
“Good girl” he coaxed, and your walls clenched around his fingers in response. He laughed and you could feel his smirk against your skin. “You like that, huh? You like being told how good you are?”
“Yesss” you gasped, grinding against his hand. “Fuck yes.”
He pulled his fingers out and you whined but the sound quickly turned into a needy moan when he ran the tip of his dick over your slit. He lined himself up, gripping your thighs to lift you up and push into you.
“DAMN” he groaned loudly, leaning his head back in both pleasure and disbelief from how you were gripping him. “You feel so fucking good gripping me.” You felt the curve when he stroked deeper, each thrust pressing you against the glass while the fireworks mirrored whatever was going on in this hotel room. “You’re so noisy” he teased when he heard you moan his name. He reached between your thighs to play with your clit again. “You want everyone to hear me fucking you, don’t you? You like that shit.”
You nodded, too far gone to care about anything but the feeling. “Oh my god, yes! Please don’t stop. You’re fucking me so good.”
Trent’s mouth latched to your neck again, leaving a mark you were going to have to cover up later. His hands gripped your ass, pulling you closer as he thrust harder..deeper. Your moans were nonstop, echoing against the window while he pounded into you.
“You’re creaming all over me” he groaned, dropping his eyes to his dick thrusting in and out of you with the perfect rhythm. “Look at that. Such a good girl for me.”
His praise and coaxing made you shatter. Your walls clenched around him while your orgasm rained over your thighs and onto him. Moaning cries mixed with his curses and filled the room until he took one last deep stroke into you and pulled out of you. You lowered yourself to take him in your mouth, sucking gently on his tip as ropes of cum filled your mouth. You got back up, very shaky and wobbly, but he wasn’t done yet. Trent carried you to the bed, lifting you up on top of him. Both of you were too far gone to care about the contract by that point and spent the rest of the night partaking in some ultra festive activities to bring in the new year as fireworks continued to pop off in the distance.
The morning after, the sunlight was streaming through the large window you had just been fucked against the night before. It way too bright for how you were feeling now, even after the coconut water. Your head was pounding and you still felt groggy. Your lashes were barely clinging on and you forgot to do your skincare routine before falling asleep thanks to your activities. You groaned and reached for your phone, fumbling with it in your hands while Trent moved from somewhere else in the room to hand you a cup of coffee.
“Good morning” he smirked at you, knowing exactly why you were in the state you were in.
“Morning...and thank you” you muttered in a scratchy voice from a mix of sleep and..other activities. You took a look at yourself with your front camera and you snorted. Your hair was all over the place, your makeup was smudged and one of your lashes was hanging off. You took a glance back over at Trent, who had faint scratches on his back, making you laugh harder. The chaos was oddly on brand for the authentic, slightly unhinged content you were known for, so you decided to capture the moment to post online.
You opened the camera app and switched to the wide angle just to make it that more authentic. You held your coffee cup in your hand with your messy hair and hanging lash on full display. In the background, Trent was off to the edge of the frame where only part of him could be seen digging through his distinctive Goyard wash bag, oblivious to his surprise cameo. You typed out the caption ‘Happy New Year 🥴✨’ and added it to the photo in white text before posting it on your story. You didn’t have to check the notifications...you knew what you did.
By the time you showered and made yourself look put together, your post had been picked up by SpillTheBeansUK where they did a full deep dive. Their post was a carousel of screenshots. The first was your original story in its chaotic glory, the second was a cropped version zoomed in on Trent’s hand digging into his bag and the faint lining of the side of his head, the third was a side by side of all the previous photos to confirm it was him.
SpillTheBeansUK: Happy New Year from Y/N and Trent Alexander-Arnold! 👀
realmrsTAA: sobbing into my pillow rn I KNOW THAT BAG
ynfansince2019: not her lashes hanging like that. IKTR QUEEN
yn_onlyyn: she’s so me coded i love her
leafygreens05: TRENT BABE TELL ME THIS ISN’T U?!? ARE THOSE SCRATCHES?
ballerbabyy: this feels like i’m on facetime with a friend i love her sm and they’re so cute
notyourfootiebae: Y/N and Trent 🏆 romeocruz: 😒
You laughed as you scrolled through the comments. Trent walked in, ready to head out for breakfast. Although, he was entirely too calm for someone who had just been moaning your name while you were bouncing on him just a few hours ago.
When you sat across from him during breakfast at the hotel restaurant, the realization of everything hit you all at once. You didn’t want this to end. Not the public antics, banter, or things with Trent. He was looking at his phone, scrolling through his apps. Unbeknownst to you, he was deleting his dating apps. All of them.
Meanwhile you were spiralling. Quietly, but definitely still spiralling.
“What happens when this is over?” you asked quietly, cutting through your eggs benedict.
He looked up, pausing his thumb over the delete button of the last app. “What do you mean?”
You shrugged, stabbing at the food with a vanished appetite. “The contract. When June comes and we’re supposed to ‘break up’... What happens then?”
Trent deleted the final app and set his phone down to look at you. “I don’t know,” he admitted in a quiet voice.
You laughed, trying to mask your nerves. “Well that’s not reassuring.”
“Why?” He asked, tilting his head. “You worried about something?”
Your fork tapped against the hollandaise sauce on your food while you gathered what you wanted to say. “Um..well..this whole thing started off as a job for your image. But now....” you trailed off and looked at him.
“Now?” he prompted, locked on your eyes.
“Now it feels...different.” you admitted. “It doesn’t feel fake anymore. At least not for me.”
You thought he would smirk and have some comeback ready but he didn’t this time. Instead, he leaned back in his chair with his arms crossed loosely. “Doesn’t feel fake to me either.”
“Really?”
“Yeah” Trent leaned forward to rest his arms on the table. “It started off as a contract but I think that changed a little...we both know that.”
You stared at him. “So..what are you saying?”
“I’m saying we don’t have to stop,” he replied, never taking his eyes off you. “We don’t have to make a huge deal about it or anything but I don’t want to stop seeing you. It feels…” He trailed off to search for the right words.
“Like something worth exploring?” you offered, finishing his sentence.
He nodded, giving you his signature smirk, but this time it made you melt a little. “Yeah. Like that.”
--
The day the public stint of the contract was supposed to end came and went like any other day. You and Trent kept seeing each other instead of posting fake launch photos like the contract originally suggested after NYE. Tyler was smug about it the minute he found out, thinking he was the best Cupid ever. The last time you saw him, he handed you a Valentine’s Day PR brief with a grin.
“Guess we’re not cancelling the hard launch then?” he asked in a satisfied tone. You wanted to throw the folder at him, but he was right. You weren’t going anywhere and neither was Trent. Your fans adored the idea of you with him. There were multiple theories flooding your comment section daily, micro analyzing every interaction. Meanwhile, Trent’s fans reluctantly admitted he looked happy in a relationship for once.
The hard launch came in the form of a Youtube video thanks to the fans: Boyfriend Rates My Outfits
Your followers were begging for this video for weeks. You never announced having a boyfriend but they knew you better than that. You didn’t plan on giving in but Trent was all for it. Your chaos had rubbed off on him, even if he didn’t want to admit it.
“Do it” he said one night while laying in bed with you at your place after a date night. “It’ll be funny.”
“Funny for who?” you replied, rolling your eyes.
“For me.”
Eventually you agreed, and the video started with you sitting in front of your neatly organized wardrobe, clasping your hands together. “Okay..you’ve all been asking for it so we’re doing a ‘boyfriend rates my outfits’ video today. My man isn’t really a fashion connoisseur so don’t expect much.”
Trent’s voice came in from behind the camera, already flirty. “Nah, I have taste, don’t set me up like that.”
“Do you?” you countered, laughing as you disappeared to change into the first outfit.
You strutted back in the room wearing high waisted jeans, a blazer and a cropped top paired with trainers. It was chic and cute enough for a brunch or something similar. Trent zoomed the camera in dramatically on your feet. “Shoes are nice. I’ll give it...an 8.”
“An 8?!” you scoffed, doing a little spin for him. “You’re mad. This is a 10.”
“Ah..okay. 9.5 but only because you look good walking away.”
The next look was a silky midi dress with a thigh high slit, paired with strappy heels. You stepped in the room and did a twirl for the cam.
Trent let out a whistle. “11. Easily.”
“You can’t give it an 11!” you protested, hands on your hip.
“Why not?” he grinned. “I’d take you out in that.. maybe in Greece or Spain.”
For the third look, you went full streetwear and wore cargos, a fitted crop top, a leather jacket, and chunky boots. Trent panned the camera up and down with a lot of dramatics. “You look like you’re about to rob somebody.”
“Trent!”
“Hey, I’m into it though! Come rob me baby” he added quickly, smirking. “9 out of 10.”
The final outfit was a red mini dress with an open back that hugged you in all the right places, paired with heels and a statement purse. Trent was quiet as he looked at you, shaking the camera while he adjusted the focus. “Goddamn. That’s a 12.”
“A 12?” you laughed, walking up to the camera and playfully covering the lens while giving him a kiss. “You’re not supposed to go over 10, T.”
“I don’t care. You’re breaking the scale.”
Trent turned the camera to face the both of you as both of you smiled into the lens. “Alright. Like, comment, subscribe, and…” He trailed off, lowering the camera a little and looked at your lips. He whispered, thinking the mic wouldn’t catch anything but it did. “...and turn this off so I can take this dress off you.”
Your jaw dropped and you swatted at his chest playfully, giggling. “You’re going to get me demonetized if you keep talking like that.”
As you edited the video, you decided to leave that part in there because it was funny and also cute. The comments rolled in quickly when word spread around online about it:
ynbabydoll: THE WHISPER AT THE END??? HELLO? I’M FERAL
ynstanclub: trent stuns in Y/N’s youtube video!!
ynplustrent: the way the cam shook when she came out in that dress....i know they get real nasty
spicynsaucy: UNCOVER THE LENS I WANNA SEE IT
footieNfashion: why is this more compelling than any press interview he’s ever done?
LFCStan44: this feels like i shouldn’t be in the room watching them rn but i’m here for it idk. love to see him back to his happy old self
FreeKickFiend: ugh..the way he sounds when he called her baby. that should be me
YNWADefenseNeeded: bro’s focus on this video is what we need on the pitch ALL the time RedKisses98: this man has forgotten we exist. thanks a lot Y/N
You shut your laptop after the premiere of the video and sunk into the couch next to Trent. He was scrolling through the comments on his phone, with that same infuriating, yet extremely attractive smirk on his face.
“You’re really enjoying this huh?” you nudged him with your elbow in a teasing tone.
“Of course,” he replied without looking up. “I’m the star of your channel now.”
You shook your head, laughing. "Very bold of you to assume they’re watching for you.”
Finally, he looked from his phone, cupping your chin and pulling you into a kiss. “Nah...but I’m here for you though. Fully off script. No contract needed.”
#trent alexander arnold#trent alexander arnold x reader#trent alexander arnold smut#footballer x reader#footballer x y/n#trent alexander arnold one shot#footballer imagines#trent alexander arnold imagine#trent alexander arnold fanfiction#football fanfic#fem!reader
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This is just something I've noticed when in spaces surrounding my interests:
A lot of leftists genuinely can't fathom how conservatives can and do enjoy content created by someone they disagree with. Often, posts will pop up that are along the lines of, "How can conservatives say they like this music or TV show or book series when the people behind these things (or the characters within the fictional content) would hate their guts and they're pro things conservatives aren't? There's no logic in that and it just shows how dumb the right is."
In reality, I think it just shows how close-minded the left can be. Many of the things I enjoy were created by left-leaning people, but that doesn't mean it's not good content. I keep my political views out of these spaces mostly because they're not relevant, y'know? (I'm also just introverted/shy lol - I barely interact as is). For example, my favorite genre of music is grunge. 99% of grunge musicians were openly left-leaning, but guess what? I don't care and I still like the music. The left puts so much weight on the opinions of celebrities and politicians (while trying to act like they're rebels/punk) that they think you have to agree with these completely disconnected strangers on everything.
"This celebrity/character would hate you," is such an odd argument to make, in my opinion. It's like - okay, and?
Which is why it's always the left that are trying to cancel people. They can't separate politics from anything, which is why they are always unhappy, there's always a problem, they never enjoy anything and are impossible to please.
They can't appreciate art from other perspectives because everyone on earth has to have their exact positions on all issues or they are Bad People. So much for their "diversity is our strength" nonsense lmao.
I actively try to avoid hearing political takes from any artist I appreciate because I'm not here for a political or moral guide, I'm here for entertainment. And when you look to celebrities for guidance you are looking in the wrong place because no one is more out of touch than they are lol.
I just assume the artists I enjoy are all woke leftists because most people in those industries are and if they're not then I can be pleasantly surprised.
But if if I get told "you know so-and-so is a leftist and would probably hate you, right?" I literally could not care less because I'm not trying to be their friend. I find most of them, personality wise, to be pretty annoying myself.
It just demonstrates a real flaw with leftists that they cannot comprehend how someone could engage with or appreciate anything about someone that has different perspectives and opinions. Sounds like an absolutely miserable existence always having to be outraged about something and making sure every artist you like has the Right Opinions.
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Man, it's cool and all if you see a metaphor for marginalisation in the monstrous, and if you want the power fantasy of 'what if you could just eat anybody who threatened you/pissed you off'. Me too.
However, as soon as you start saying 'no, these monsters are a 1:1 on Specific Marginalised Group, and you have to treat them in the fiction like they are directly representative of real human members of the marginalised group', BUT you also, in the fiction, make them hurt/kill/eat humans? And then try to shame me, your audience, for noticing or engaging with the bit where they kill people, because you made them directly representative of a real-world marginalised group? You have lost me, and also, I think, the plot.
#hear yourself. for the love of whatever you cherish.#'but they only kill bigots so ACTUALLY they're the GOOD GUYS -' your metaphor of monstrosity is entirely premised on the question of#'what if what you went around righteously killing; believing your actions to be justified;#were actually people and it was not in fact righteous or justified to just kill them'#'what if the world isn't neatly split into 'good guys' and 'bad guys'#who gets to decide who or what is 'bad'? because that's the original problem of monstrosity-as-metaphor-for-marginalisation#(if as a creator you say 'oh my intention with this was X' cool!#if instead you go with something like. well.#'well in this setting monsters are so rare it doesn't matter that they kill people and you'd have to be a homicidal sadistic psychopath >#< to hunt them; but sure I guess if you want to play a Bad Person' well I might have#but if you're going to explicitly judge me for wanting to engage with the moral question of 'how justified is this and who would do it#versus how justified are these monsters if they do have to harm or kill people to continue to exist'#then maybe I just don't want to play your game at all)#anyway I'm sick to death of poor uwu cozy vampires who are SO marginalised so I'm not Allowed to care about all the people they murder#it being fucked up is what's fun about it! do all the other shit but let me take the murders seriously!#and inb4 someone accuses me of being a bigot for saying 'actually I don't think you get a free pass to kill and eat people if you're gay'#remember when the CW's famously reactionary and conservative Supernatural tried to just gloss over the part where every time its heroes >#< killed a demon with a magic knife it also killed the person the demon was possessing#and say 'oh no it's fine we don't care about those killings; they don't matter; don't bother caring about them either'#but they were doing it to glorify exactly the kind of people that these 'monster as metaphor' stories are trying to cast as expendable?#I have other examples that are like. real dramas. but That Paranormal Show is the one that's in the same niche that I'm talking about here#it feels more insidious when it comes through a fantasy show where there are monsters involved#so you can say 'no it's not real so it doesn't matter'#but then ALL of it is equally not real. and vampires are not actually an oppressed group. because they don't exist.#you can say 'these vampires are a metaphor for an oppressed group so this fiction matters in real life'#or you can say 'don't care about the murders because they weren't actually real'#but you can't say both and then get mad at ME for treating the murders as seriously as the vampires#let me engage with your premise and don't waste my fucking time#or just set your fluff in the Sesame Street universe where vampires drink cherry Kool-Aid and help kids learn to count
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One thing that I think a lot of Disco Elysium meta misses (likely because a lot of it is very clearly written by young Americans writing from an intensely American-centric cultural perspective without even really realizing it) is that one of the singular and central themes of the game is massive-scale generational trauma in a home that is economically collapsing as its resources and people are being drained by an occupation. People have noted that no one tries to help Harry, despite the fact his mental illness is incredibly obvious to everyone around him. He tells Kim that he completely lost his memory, and Kim politely asks him to focus on the work. He tells Gottlieb that he had a heart attack, and Gottlieb tells him that if he’s still alive it couldn’t have been that bad. That he’ll drop dead sooner or later, but then so does everyone.
And that’s the most important thing: so does everyone. Look at Martinaise. Look at the world in which Harry lives. It is not our own, but it is adjacent to ours. More specifically, it is clearly adjacent to the states of the Eastern Bloc: overtaken and occupied by a faraway government that clearly doesn’t care about Revachol or its people. And that is obvious in every tired face, every defeated citizen, everyone trying to eke out a little happiness or meaning in spite of the overwhelming trauma and damage around them. The buildings are still half-destroyed. The bullet holes are still in the walls. The revolution was decades before, but it still feels to the people there like a fresh wound. The number of men of Harry’s generation who are not alcoholic or otherwise deeply fucked up are very few. Some, like Kim, hide it better, but the deeper you dig into his history, the more you realize how damaged Kim is. He’s more than a little trigger happy, and hates that about himself, but he is a product of his environment: Kim’s entire life is seeing people he cared about shot and killed, so his instinct now is to shoot first himself, to protect those few people left who still matter to him.
Harry is not unique in his trauma. He is a distillation of an entire culture of people who tried to rise up and make something beautiful, and were instead routed and occupied. He is trapped between the occupation and the people on the ground, along with all the rest of the RCM. Their authority comes from the occupying government, but it is implied that they were formed out of the remnants of the citizens militia which sprung up from Revachol itself as a way to try to mitigate some of the horrors being committed on its streets. The Moralintern sure as hell wasn’t going to get their hands dirty, so they happily conscripted (and therefore could better control) this group, who are only recognized in certain places, and whose authority mostly amounts to giving out fines. The RCM is corrupt, but it is corrupt in the same way its culture is. Bribes are considered standard with them, not a moral failing, but a necessity, so long as those bribes are correctly logged as ‘donations’. It’s how the RCM stays afloat, and the rest of Revachol completely understands that. Everyone would take a bribe if it meant they kept eating. Everyone would take a little under-the-table money if it meant keeping a roof over their heads. The officersof the RCM certainly don’t make enough to see a doctor. They have an in-house lazarus, and if he can’t fix them they just die. Mental health care? What mental health care? Harry doesn’t get it for the same reason no one else does: it doesn’t really seem to exist. There are no counselors, no psychologists, no psychiatrists. How would they even start? If the world is what is broken, if everyone is suffering a similar catastrophic amount, it makes sense that Harry’s trauma would simply get rolled up with all the rest. Kim asks him to get on with the job because Harry’s suffering is not remarkable in Revachol. He is one of an entire generation who have an astronomical number of orphans from the revolution, and so many younger people are left more or less orphans as their parents drink themselves into oblivion like Cuno’s father. So Harry’s truly unique attribute is embodying all that trauma, having it all inside of him, filling him to bursting.
To really engage with the themes of the game, engaging first and foremost with the reality of Revachol is imperative. Imposing our own reality onto Revachol, particularly if coming from an American perspective (which tend to have the habit of both viewing the world through an American lens and not realizing they’re doing it because they’ve never experienced a different lens), will always feel shallow to me because of this.
All that is to say, I would love to hear some more explicitly European meta about this game, and especially Eastern European meta. If anyone can point me to some good, juicy essays from that perspective, I would be grateful!
#Disco Elysium#is such a good game#but I found a lot of the meta around it frustratingly shallow#and very VERY American#which is also frustrating#given how clearly Eastern European the roots of this game are#I have no problem with people using a game or other work of fiction to inform their own lives and experiences#but I find it strange when people engage with the game#as though it was coming from an American perspective#asking why certain things happen or didn't#based on how they would play out or have played out in America#anyway this a rambly way to request some meta from other cultural perspectives#I am very interested in reading it!#Disco Elysium meta
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I get hating certain political systems and trying to abolish totalitarian regimes but at the same time many of them are so interwoven with our history and society they have become tropes and when I consume media with a setting where the monarchy is absolute and revered then I am playing my part and sucking that princeling off
#litchi.txt#there are games that address this kinda stuff! and thats good! its good that there are games talking about how this is bad!#but at the same time when I go into a game knowing I will be the prince's sword and shield I dont expect the game to be anti-monarchy#despite having pretty strong opinions on many a thing I tend to put most of them away the moment I engage with media#imperialism bad. monarchy bad. doesnt mean I cant enjoy roleplaying in a game where I help these systems#because guess what its fictional and not everything needs to be a strong statement about politics#sometimes we just... wanna vibe with a setting#I am so very thoroughly exhausted from the politics in this country and where things are going I just kinda need that no brainer gameplay#even if it means working as the secret police for an emperor#even if it means replacing one dictator with another#because its still a game#a lot of people talk about imperialism-monarchy-colonialism with these things because they are a big issue even today#and they are important to talk about!! in real world!!#but I rarely see people be this upset about like religion etc which like. thats also a massive problem.#idk Im just tired of trying to look at fanart of all my fantasy medieval games and people being upset that the games#are not super anti-monarchy despite the marketing being literally 'you are the emperor's bestie. you help him out and go on a quest.'#'your quest is to manipulate local government to support the emperor and do his bidding'#like idk how That is supposed to be a game that addresses it properly#and maybe it does but ig since the MC doesnt look at the player and go REMEMBER KIDS! THIS IS EVIL AND BAD AND WHY MONARCHY SUCKS#it doesnt count??? I guess???
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Ah. I think the issue is that people see criticism as hate? This isn't the case at all; I hold things I like to a higher standard, I'm more critical of things like I like than things that I don't. I get how this can come off as abrasive to a lot of people, but I believe that it's impossible to appreciate the true depth of anything if you only engage with the positive aspects and reject any impression of negativity.
If I don't like something, I generally don't really bother unless it's something that is impacting my quality of life. (ie: if someone is being a piece of shit to me I'm gonna talk about it, this is not fiction, this is different.) It takes a lot of energy to dig into a character or a work of fiction this deeply, and it's not worth it to do for something I don't like.
I've said repeatedly that I don't like this character as a person, but that I love him as a character. I talk a lot about how I think he's got one of the best-written stories in the entire series.
That story shows a wonderfully flawed human being whose flaws build up until the facade he's been hiding behind for his whole life breaks under the weight. That's part of the beauty of it, that's part of the tragedy of it, that's what makes his story so good.
The problem is that he's a liar, and some of his fans would rather believe the lies than actually get to know the character for who he is. But he's genuinely a wonderful character. I don't just admit this, I will die on this hill—he's such a good character. He's so well-written. He's so consistent, and this newer presentation is spot-on.
#fandom vent#about me#I guess?#if you see any criticism of something you like as an attack#that's a problem you need to deal with on your own#if a character has to be flawless for you to like them#you're seriously limiting your horizons with regard to enjoyment in fiction#if you don't like how I engage with content I like#that's absolutely fine#but maybe don't shittalk me for my fandom and character analyses#when you've been copying those same analyses for years#and reposting portions of them on your own blog#as if you reached those conclusions yourself
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Just say you think cp is ok as long as the minors are fictional you fuckin pedophile
Normally I ignore hostile or pre-judgmental asks on the off chances I get them, but I'll make exception for this one because it seems like a good opportunity for some much needed nuance-- also because I get this person's disgust, I really do.
But you, my fella, must understand that this isn't about the morality or even lack thereof behind dark fictional content, at all. You must realize that wanting dark and taboo fictional content (yes including that one you mentioned) not being allowed to exist actually does nothing to improve or protect irl lives, much on the contrary actually. No, I don't think there's any possible moral reason behind fictional cp content (nor do I find it 'ok',) but once again, this isn't about morality.
Please take a moment to read this thread (it words this topic better than me) then think it over. Trust me, it's a better use of your time than annoying ppl online with words you can't even bother standing up for with your name/face.
#like yeah i get your kneejerk reaction n outrage#but you must not let your disgust alone call for morality esp with fictional content#believe me i dont like pedophiliac fiction and wouldnt want to engage or come across it personally#and i def dont think it should just be posted wherever without abandon without the proper trigger/content warnings filters tags#or outside the proper spaces#if the contrary happens the problem isnt the dark theme itself existing but an INDIVIDUAL problem of the author being forgetful at best#or an asshole at worst#but i understand this kind of content has to be safe to exist when properly handled even if i dont like it nor would look at it#bc if you allow censorship even the tiniest margin there it will never ever just stop or stay there#it will 100% of the time always try to spread and take more#you dont need to engage or like or even agree with dark content at all!#but you must understand that either even the darkest and most grotesque and disgusting type of fic is safe to exist#or NO forms of fiction are truly safe to exist at all#yes even the fictional content you'd deem pure and kid-friendly could be at risk then#anon#anonymous#jellycream answers#psa#idk what other tags should be here im drawing a blank srry
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if i keep seeing people nominate small guy as bottom and big guy as top i am actually going to explode.
#okay im gonna ramble now because i keep thinking about this subject#because what i see most is usually top = big older more experience#and bottom = smaller younger and less experience#i will admit that i am not immune to this. i have a lot of character who are tops and are big and more experienced or bottoms who are small#but the fact that i keep seeing all of these characteristics over and over and over with many different pairings#and a lot of the times they distort the characters to make them fit these categories#i dunno. strikes me as not only gender roles 2.0 but the power dynamic bothers me to no end#has a very narrow view of what sex and relationships are like#not that it is a problem to engage with that be it in fiction or real life. i would be a hypocrite to say so#but the fact that it is all i ever see and it seems to be the base for most gay ships#one has to be significantly smaller and more feminine.. why is that. why can't they be on the same wavelength#very online problem i am aware#if you look at real relationships outside of fandom you'll see that most of them do not operate like that#and i guess that's why it bothers me#ˑ ֗ ִ fire crackling ⊹ ࣪˖
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low-coherency rambling in the tags
#the thing about IPL is that‚ at least as far as i see it‚ they've essentially been propagating and encouraging an auteur myth regarding him#which is nothing new or unique to them; i think that people (audiences) naturally want to ascribe some Great Man Theory to everything#it's hard to conceptualize the fact that almost anything that comes from a ''studio'' will be the product of collaboration#people naturally want to personify things and attach a human face to what they like#and studios (whether game or whatever else) will indulge this by generally seeming to pick one or maybe two people (often men)#to essentially be the main ''face'' or ''spokesperson'' for the product. it's branding.#and it has an effect even if people obviously are aware that someone isnt the ONLY person who's hands touch a work#i see it in the way people take this very personal parasocial tone in how they talk about the creators they like#which is just a subset of the problem of parasociality in general but in this case i mean how they basically put these people on a pedestal#because they seem them as singularly responsible for creating Thing They Liked because of the aforementioned spokesmanship#i've seen it in how people talk about (and talk to) j sawyer and chris avellone as if they're singularly responsible for fallout#anthony burch and borderlands 2. christian linke and arcane#robert kurvitz and disco elysium (but to be very clear im not saying that makes cutting him out of his own intellectual property acceptable#fucking i don't know.... jeff kaplan and overwatch lmao#and very much with dybowski and pathologic. like the kind of memes i saw people make about him and the personal way they'd refer to him#BUT that pretty much all stopped after 2021 or so at least in the fandom spaces i saw#because i suppose people realized that whether those rumors and allegations were true or not that they did not really know this person#no matter how much they liked ''his'' game. and that he might not be a good person at all.#which is good. i think people should take that kind of ambivalence by default instead of getting parasocially attached to anyone#especially to one lead figure out of an entire studio#and then winding up distraught and disappointed when it turns out their fave did something bad#like be distraught for victims sure. but don't tell yourself you understand this person because their fiction spoke to you#and you won't wind up feeling personally betrayed.#i'm rambling big time but basically i hope people start taking this view more#because among other things. putting these people on pedestals and singling them out as auteurs gives them social power#which allows some of them to engage in the awful behavior that leaves fans feeling betrayed in the first place#and i hope that studios and creators stop leaning into it too#if it really is true that dybowski is barely involved with the IP anymore then IPL should say that.#don't prop him up as the face just because he's the one everyone knows#maybe they think it'll get backlash if anyone but him is said to be writing the game because of how much they leaned into him as the auteur
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WHY MUST I ALWAYS GET INTO THE SADDEST FUCKING SHIPS WHY DO I KEEP DOING THIS TO MYSELF
#frankie yells#like fucking. sure any ship can be made sad if you try harder enough but also. fucking. why must it always be tragic little gays#im not complaining but also i keep fucking doing this to myself man why do i keep making myself sad over fictional gays 😭😭#like do i just only interact with the shit that makes me sad??? do i only really get engaged with sad fics etc. for them????#is this a me problem????#like. um. griddlehark. destiel. hannigram (sort of). ash/eiji. satosugu. aziracrow. zukka (in certain directions). shory. aaronneil.#most of my ao3 bookmarks are me sobbing my eyes out...#OH WAIT ALSO FUCKING. REDDIE 😭😭😭😭😭 I KNEW I WAS FORGETTING SOME BUT OMG REDDIEEEE#me like what if none of the mfs had a happy ending together? what then?#like babygirl are you okay??? why do you always want to be so sad??#oh god also fucking [REDACTED] and [REDACTED]... both of which i had to stop reading fics for bc i was making myself too sad#like genuinely there is a certain very long fic that i had to put down bc i was making myself depressed#OHMYGOD I FORGOT WANGXIAN AND BINGQIU.... honestly mdzs and svsss in general... kicking my feet 1 moment and sobbing the next#there are sooo many ships in both of those that make me so very sad... too many to remember or list atm tbh#i should go to bed 💀 lmao#it's too late for this nonsense ans i shouldn't have been watching destiel and hannigram compilations in the first place... of course im#just making myself sad...
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while i am comfortable with the "whatever you think i am i guess" approach i normally take with people irl if they try to sound out the fact im queer (not really confirming or denying whatever identity or whatnot they try to guess for me) it kinda sucks how hard it is to mention being aroace like. no its not just a "haha im not looking for a relationship rn" or "you just havent found the right person (man) yet/you'll grow out of it" i truly do not see myself ever engaging in romance or sex ever. and even if it Does change down the line (which i personally highly doubt anyways) thats my goddamn business!!!! so even if they end up "right" about me its not something to get their panties twisted in a bunch about. insufferable
#not to mention the “isnt that lonely” shtick im often hit with like DO FRIENDS NOT EXIST??? MY FAMILY????#i love my childhood friends since kindergarten i love my beloved best friend of all time i love my partner#not to mention the liking romance in fiction/as a concept =/= wanting to engage in it myself personally that is something else entirely#like i am a very affectionate person i will gush abt my friends every other day i toss out i love yous pretty easily#why is that a problem i dont have some secret crush or desire to be part of that whole romance thing myself either#gahhhh#duck rants about something
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hi! i know that i'm fated to read your every work despite not knowing the media half the time. this time i would like to finally be one step ahead. so uhh. where do i read orv? do i go for the webtoon or the novel? to clarify, i did try to search, but got confused by reddit. also i am going to watch trigun. i've been eyeing animorphs too but the 54 (?) books are making me go hmm. thank you for existing you're pretty great. you're like the spiderman of writing but instead you got asbestos rat'd.
THIS ASK IS INSANE. WE'RE REFERENCING MY LORE NOW?
But thank you, you're insane. People ask why I have stupid high standards for the fics i post on AO3 and it is because there are people like you who will just read whatever regardless of whether or not it's good. I have a responsibility.
This ask also made me wonder if I have good taste. Because every time somebody says this my first reaction is "oh god and the source materials aren't even good". I read a lot of trashy stuff (but, like, define trashy), and I consume too many bad things to be able to say I have discerning taste. If I enjoy something I almost never call it bad, because things were made to be enjoyed and I enjoyed them then they had value in at least one aspect. If you were to ask me if my favorite TV show of all time the Incredible Hulk 1974 was actually, unironically, good, then I'd break into a cold sweat. Is somebody bad because it's camp? Is something bad only if it's unintentional camp?
Regardless, I never write fic for something that isn't only like 80% good - there's a sweet spot of 'good enough for me to obsess over' and 'bad enough that I'm rewriting it in my head'. It's rare I write for anything I find completely good. Which is why I feel bad when people say that they're reading this thing I'm writing fic for jalksdf there's better things out there I SWEAR.
ORV is in the sweet spot of "this isn't high literature" and "this has given me brain worms". Definitely for sure start with the webtoon - the webnovel is clunkily translated, you don't read it for the writing at all, and it is also a literal million words. Don't read the webnovel unless you're like "I'm going insane and I need more of this". It starts off kind of slow ("This is a well executed very banal isekai") and you're like a frog in the pot of it slowly going more insane until you're a ways in and you are in a tangle of ridiculously complicated gambits and convoluted storytelling. There is literally no other way to describe it than the Homestuck of webnovels. If you're completely unfamiliar with isekai that's fine, but as a warning - ORV being your first webtoon/webnovel isekai is like your first shoujo manga being Ouran High Schol Host Club, or your first magical girl show being Madoka, or your first mecha anime to be Neon Genesis Evangelion. It's one of the best works in its genre but it's supposed to be viewed in context of the genre. Or maybe it's more like if Homura starred in Evangelion, which was Ouran. I'm just saying words.
Animorphs is kind of like Mother 3 in which everybody who has ever read/played it said that it changed them as a person, it changed their relationship with media and storytelling forever, if you read/play it you will be born again from the world's egg, etc. Works that genuinely become part of your personality. I also never recommend it to people because it is incredibly hit or miss. I remember using a spreadsheet of just "what books are skippable or not" because some of them are incredibly weird and some of them are incredibly weird in the bad way. The only Animorphs fic I've ever written is from 2019 so it's also not that great. Each book only takes an hour to read and the pdfs are free online, so it's incredibly accessible in terms of the reading experience, but it's kinda the Animorphs gestalt that changes you forever and not the individual books. I try not to recommend stuff that's like 25% bad.
Watch Trigun if you like what Trigun is - it's not going to deliver on something it's not. Also watch 98 first. Watch Stampede/read Trimax if you want more Trigun. The Trigun fic is based off Stampede but refer to my "I only write fic for smth that's 80% good and not 100% good" statement.
Also I think being bit by an asbestos rat just means that I probably have mold and drywall in my lungs, which would explain a lot about this blog. Thanks for the ask I love it.
#you have to feel kind of guilty saying “this is the homestuck of webnovels” and reccomending it with a straight face#and like i wouldn't outright reccomend it#it has plenty of problems. but also you dont care about the problems much ya know.#my asks#my writing#it is genuinely so funny that Animorphs and M3 girlies are Like That#sir this is a children's novel where a teenager vomits crocodiles#and it's not as good when you just hear people describe it like “oh read animorphs its sooo fucked up and edgy and people die”#like. yes its good because its fucked up. but also#the humor and levity and silliness is important and makes the fuckery meaningful#i think mostly it's the fact that animorphs will present to you some very shallow stuff and then ask you to engage with it like its real#its not realism or grittiness or edge#it just presents you with Very Basic Children's SciFi and goes#these are real children. all life is real sentient life.#yes the CIA really did do that.#when the enemy is killed the enemy is dead. do you understand.#thats what makes it a rly good childrens novel but also what makes it so disturbing as an adult#whose been asked to fictionalize suffering countless times in scifi#and on the tv. and in the news. and from each other.#and when we're presented with normal fictional suffering and the narrative is like No - Look At This#it changes how you engage with scifi and media in general#there's a lot of 'Jake' characters out there. but you can't look at them the same way.#did not expect the tag essay to be about animorphs this time.
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Not gonna lie I think "media literacy" based accusations have quickly devolved into name-calling that means nothing and completely fails to address the core points of the disagreeing perspectives
#thoughts#and I say this as someone who teaches narration#and desperately tries to speedrun media literacy to young adults who either were never told properly or forgot or ???#lacking the skills to engage with media *is a thing*#(and it's completely morally neutral btw --like it's very important skills but it's not an insult)#but more often than not if people are capable of identifying themes or character motivations in fiction they have media literacy#they are just reaching different conclusions#(not saying I think all conclusions are equal or that everybody is correct I don't think that)#(but more often than not media literacy specifically isn't the problem)
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Seeing a post thats making me angry: ahh how do I disagree in a way that isnt confrontational and might help them see my point is there any point ahhhhh ummmm noticing that the post is from following a tag, not a mutual: oh fuck that, they can be wrong.
#not saying can never disagree w a mutual#this is about someone complaining about the queer shapeshifter character being bio essentialist and tagging double trouble and nimona#like uh those are both created by (the same) queer trans person so maybe pick different examples?#also murderbot. like. also. these are speculative fiction genres. That tackle big ideas through metaphor. its a metaphor.#like The Sunbearer Trials is a really good book has a transmasc protagonist and also hes part bird/quetzal?#and the author basically goes yeah I can address trans issues literally with this character but I am nevertheless choosing to do so metaphor#and#with trans creators#things are easier to deal with a step removed#i mean thats also why we engage in fiction to begin with#reading and creating#so if its cis people relegating queerness to shapeshifters and aliens and monsters yes complain about that#but queer people leaning into the tropes and exploring queerness through the tropes are not the problem!!#like in uh starsight cytonic series w brandon sanderson theres genderfucky aliens but no genderfucky humans. thats a place to improve.#anyway ahhhhhh people are wrong on the internet!!!!#mine
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I’ve said this a thousand times before, but the worse type of racism is often the passive type of racism. It’s a bit more insidious, imo. This is spurred on by a *specific* thing that occurred awhile back, but it’s so gaslighting. ‘Yeah this thing is racist, but here’s a dissertation about how it doesn’t matter bc I connected with this piece of literature.’ All that to say you were still going to keep supporting the author? Could’ve just kept it in the drafts.
#i sometimes look at my mile long block list out of curiosity#and there was one acc in particular that I block a whike ago that i totally forgot about#but anywho#I remember why I specifically blocked them#and it really brings up the ‘preaching passivity to black people’ under the guise#of allyship#bonus points for the fact I was only addressed because the problems had gotten so bad it was hard to ignore#and even then they were still prioritizing their love for the fictional character#you can engage with problematic media#for sure#but#if you’re always keen on silencing the problems and only addressing them for kudos points once it becomes ‘in’ to do so#it’s not really genuine is it?#running blog and continually talking about issues is great#running a blog that is constantly critical of people making those analysis and then just stealing those points#to parrot as ally points…yeah no.
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the way that fandom has morphed into yall needing approval from other people to like a character/ship is insane to me, a bitch who has never put another persons feelings and concerns above my own lmao
#yall dont love yourselves. is the problem.#seeking validation in other people is not the way#but also if youre afraid to like a piece of fiction because you fear backlash from people? those are not the type of people you need to be#surrounding yourself with#genuinely yall need to start looking at your inner circles and asking yourselves does it feel like a cult#cuz many of you engage in cultlike mentalities i am so serious about that
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