#not that i actually believe that ending shit lmao
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bad idea, right? l l.dh
❥ Synopsis: You swear you've moved on, you swear you're happy in your relationship. But why is Donghyuck still on your mind? and why are you in his bed again
❥ Genre: Ex FWB!Donghyuck, Bf!Jeno, angst, smut, ??? with benefits au, she is toxic.
❥ Warnings: disloyalty, blackmailing, suggestive but no actual smut, just a whole lot of shitty behaviour from mc, even more implications to recording during sex jeno x reader, haechan x reader. not a happy ending.
❥ Word count: 3.8K
❥ a/n: hellooo angels <3 so uh, this is part 2 of is it casual!!! i KNOW this is not what u guys wanted but i fear this is how the story went!!! as always, feedback is much appreciated :P !! also THANK U TO @be-my-sunrise and @hanniesbrat for letting me yap to you guys about this odd ass fic LMAO
You hated the fact your boyfriend was roommates with the man that ruined you. You hated walking into your boyfriend’s apartment and seeing his face there, staring back at you as if nothing ever happened. You hated having sex with your boyfriend knowing he could come home at any time and hear you. You hated the fact that he still thought that your boyfriend was your friend and treated him like one.
Jeno, your boyfriend, has been nothing but the best to you. He comforted you through all the late nights you wanted to spend crying, he held you through every moment you spent crying over that fucker until you realized how much you really like him. No man has ever treated you the way Jeno has. No love has ever compared to the love Jeno has given you and you wouldn't trade it for the word.
“Jeno, I really don’t want to see him, can you just come over instead?”
That’s how alot of your nights went,
baby <3: donghyuck told me i need to move out baby <3: he fucking sucks baby <3: he said i need to break up with u or leave because he can't stand seeing u around
you: what the actual fuck you: i'm so sorry you: he actually sucks so bad you: you’re welcome to move in with me in the meantime you: or however long u want you: i'm so sorry for dragging u into this mess jen you: seriously
baby <3: it’s not your fault baby baby <3: we’re in this together.
“You packing up your shit or what, loverboy?” Donghyuck smirked, leaning against Jeno’s door frame.
“Use your eyes, Donghyuck.” Jeno scoffed, not sparing him a glance. He continued to pack his stuff into his boxes.
“Oh, don’t forget to pack your girlfriend’s clothes! In Fact, I might have some in my room too, you want me to bring them to you?”
“Fuck off, Donghyuck.”
One thing you know for sure is Donghyuck fucking sucks. If he didn’t make that clear the first time around. You’d say you wish the worst upon him. However, some nights, you get deep in your thoughts and thoughts about your relationship with Donghyuck and you miss it. But one thing never changed, you always had Jeno by your side, every time, without fail.
“Jeno, what if I never met you?”
“Where’s this coming from?” He chuckled, pulling you in closer and kissing your head for reassurance. “I’m sure i’d find you one way or another, you're my person”
It was little things like this that made you fall for him. You truly believe Jeno was the one for you. No one treated you half as good as he did.
“I never want to leave you, angel. You’re mine forever” You smiled, cuddling closer to Jeno, you smiled to yourself when his scent hit you. He smelled heavenly, like he always did, the same comfort and warmth that drew you into him in the first place making you desire him even more today.
unknown: hey unknown: i'm sure you know who this is unknown: we need to talk unknown: don’t tell jeno.
Your heart sank. Donghyuck? It can’t be.
you: who is this?
unknown: [attachment: 1 video] unknown: remember me?
Your jaw dropped, clicking on the video to see you bent over the sink in a bathroom you could never forget, ever. Your hair a mess, you're deliriously calling yourself ‘his forever’. You fucking hated that he had anything to black mail you with such as this. You hated yourself for giving him that type of power.
you: donghyuck. you: we have nothing to say to each other you: dont try to contact me again
unknown: you’d be fine with me sending this to your boyfriend though, right?
Immediately, you called him. He was sick in the head and only got more and more out of hand.
“Donghyuck, you’re not fucking funny” you spat, venom laced in every word
“Funny? Babe, who said I was trying to be funny?” He chuckled “I’m serious, did you forget your little boyfriend lives right next door?”
You heard him knock on the wall, screaming out your boyfriend’s name. “Jeno!”
“Shut the fuck up!” A faint voice in the back.
“Fuck off, Donghyuck.” And with that you hung up, falling back onto your bed with a sigh.
“Jeno stop! They’ll hear us” You giggled, lightly pushing Jeno’s head away from his spot in between your legs. He’d been trying to get you worked up through your clothes the whole time youve been over at his apartment. This was the last week of him living here before he officially moves in with you and you both were ecstatic. Last week you’d have to see his face, last week you’d have to be in constant fear that he’ll overhear you and Jeno having sex and last week you’d have to even think about him.
“We’re alone, baby” he pinned your arms down with one hand. “Let me eat you out baby, promise you’ll be good?” You gave in, nodding at the promise of Jenos mouth on you.
“I’ll be good.”
Jeno was talented with his tongue. His technique was unlike any other. He knew how to have you arching into his touch, begging for more, cumming within seconds. You’d describe him as a walking sex god. His way of having you craving more was unmatched. And you don’t think you’ve ever had anyone quite like that before. Not even Donghyuck.
“Stop thinking about that fucker” Your boyfriend frowned, he could read you like a book and you genuinely dont know how he does it “He doesnt matter right now, it’s just you and me baby”
‘I love you, Jeno”
“I love you more than you can imagine, baby”
He kissed you hard, taking your mind off anything you’d been thinking of before. All you could think of Jeno’s mouth on yours, kissing you with everything he had. Within a moment, Jeno had you undressed, laying under him in all your naked glory. Smiling your love drunk smile at him. Jeno trailed kisses down your body, all the way down to your pussy.
“Jeno?” you called out, looking down at him with big, innocent eyes.
“Yes, baby?” he smiled at you sweetly, starting to trail his tongue along your slit, “Pretty, pretty pussy” he mumbled under his breath.
“Please fuck me already, I cant wait anymore. I need you in me” You pleaded, knowing your boyfriend would do anything but deny you anything.
“God, I love you. Anything for you baby” He took no time before hovering over you again, pressing a soft kiss to your mouth. “My angel, all mine.”
“She’s yours?” A voice suddenly interrupted you, a voice that was all too familiar. Jeno’s body hurriedly covered yours, protecting you from the eyes of the intruder.
“Donghyuck, get the fuck out” Jeno spat.
“No, If i remember correctly, she’s mine”
“I was never yours,” You countered, pulling Jeno onto you closer.
“Oh yeah? You want me to show you the video? As far as i know, your little boyfriend here still hasn’t seen it”
You felt Jeno freeze, “What video?” Jeno asked you, looking at you with nothing but confusion in his eyes.
Donghyuck kissed his teeth, “Oh, guess I shouldn't have brought that up right now. right, Y/N?”
“Donghyuck, just get the fuck out.”
Jeno pulled away from you as soon as Donghyuck left.
“What video?” He repeated, looking into your eyes with the same hurt that you once looked into his with. “Donghyuck recorded a video of us the last time we fucked, it was at his parents house on christmas, remember? Well, basically in the video he made me say I’m his forever. And he wont stop blackmailing me with it”
Jeno sighed. “He's blackmailing you?”
“Yeah, look.” you reached for your phone to find the messages Donghyuck had sent you the other day. You looked away from Jeno, feeling ashamed from the whole situation. Donghyuck apparently lived to humiliate you, never letting you catch a break from his antics.
“Baby, I’m so sorry.” He hugged you, pulling your naked body against his own. “You could’ve told me sooner, I could’ve dealt with him myself” Tears were threatening to slip from your eyes, feeling overwhelmed by Jeno’s loving words and Donghyuck’s bullshit.
“But i couldn’t, Jeno” Full on sobbing now, you let the tears fall freely down your cheeks. “I was too scared, he’s insane Jeno” Jeno just hummed, rubbing your back reassuringly.
“You’re not mad?” You asked
“It’s not fair of me to be mad, this happened before we were dating, it’s not fair for me to hold that against you.” He smiled, pulling away to look at your red, puffy, tear stained face. “My baby. Not his, I promise I’ll get us out of here as soon as i can”
donghyuck: i heard u and ur little bf were on a break donghyuck: i think i have some ways to make your break worthwhile babe
you: i'm not your babe. donghyuck. you: plus, you’re the reason we’re on break in the first place. you: dont contact me again, please.
donghyuck: you know you miss me y/n. donghyuck: don’t you miss the way i made you go crazy? donghyuck: remember the time in my car? after i caught you kissing that fucking loser chenle? donghyuck: you were on me like you needed me to breathe. you can’t even deny it. donghyuck: now open the door baby, i’m outside.
You were quick to open the front door, seeing Donghyuck standing infront of you with that stupid fucking smirk on his face. He knew that was your weakness. He knew he was your weakness.
“Miss me?” You hated his cocky tone. You hated that you actually opened the door for him. You hated that you actually did miss him. He let out a chuckle at your silence, he knew how to read you like none other. Not even Jeno.
“C’mon, let me in. You know you want to” You hated yourself for actually stepping aside and allowing him into your house, into your safe space. Memories of the endless nights you spent crying over him in the safety of your own house all blurry.
“H-Hyuck..”
“Oh? We’re back to Hyuck now?”
“Is it bad that I want you to kiss me right now?” Your words were hushed but loud enough for him.
“Yeah?” You nodded, looking down at your feet, too scared to look at him. “Why don’t you beg for it? Since you like to do that a whole lot hmm?” He smiled when he heard you whimper, inching closer to you slowly until he was close enough to wrap his arms around you.
“Are you gonna beg or are you gonna make me wait longer?” Immediately, a sob left your lips “Hyuck, please kiss me. I missed your lips on mine so much”
And without another word, his lips were pressing onto yours with the same intensity you craved, the same intensity that once drew you into him. You swear you almost fell for him again when he cups your face, tilting your head up and deepening the kiss. He began walking, lips still on yours forcing you to walk backwards blindly until suddenly you were falling back onto your couch where he followed suit.
You pulled away, admiring the honey skinned man above you with a small smile. “I missed this” A soft smile mirrored the one adorning your face.
“I missed you like crazy, no other girl compared to you”
“Why’d it take you so long to realize?” He paused, staring at you blankly.
“Just– took me a minute..” with a sigh, he leaned down and kissed you again, trailing his hands under your shirt. Grazing your warm skin with his cold hands, sending chills through your body.
“You gonna let me fuck you? Remind you how I'm so much better than your little boyfriend?”
“He’s not my boyfriend.”
“Oh? Last time I checked you were smitten over that guy”
You hated where this conversation was going so you tried your best to change the topic, “You’re the one about to fuck me right now no?”
“Shut u–” He was cut off by the sound of your phone ringing.
Jeno.
Jeno has given you space for almost a month now. Only sending you messages to check in on you occasionally. All to which you replied positively, ensuring him that you’ll be ready to get back with him soon. In reality though, you were nowhere near getting back with Jeno. You spent nearly every night of the past month in Donghyuck’s bed, either cuddled into him or you under him. Something about the way Donghyuck made you feel was unmatched and you’ll never get sick of saying that.
You stepped into Donghyuck’s kitchen early in the morning, seeing him in just a pair of grey sweatpants with his back turned towards you. It didn’t take long for the waft of the pancakes he’d been cooking up to reach you.
You gawked, “You’re making breakfast?” He turned to you, an unimpressed look on his face (though you could see him fighting a smile.) “Does that surprise you?” and you fought the urge to affirm that it does truly surprise you to see him doing something nice for you.
Instead, you hummed, “No, not really.” With a small smile on your lips, you walked up to Donghyuck who had switched his attention back to the pancakes he had cooking on the stove, wrapping your arms around his bare torso. His skin was soft and warm under your touch.
“Good morning, angel” He hummed, placing a hand over yours. The two of you swayed in a comfortable silence. This is how times with Donghyuck usually went, quiet and calm until he was suddenly kissing up on you, feeling up on you or begging to be inside you.
“You wanna sit and wait at the table for me?” You chirped a “sure” and detached from him, making your way over to the dining table, sitting down on your favourite chair.
baby <3: good morning angel baby <3: can i see you today? baby <3: i miss you, wanna hear your voice so bad :(
you: of course you can :) you: actually, let me just call you right now. you can still come over later tho :P
It didn't take long for an incoming call from Jeno to come through.
“Good morning angel” You could hear his smile through the phone. A smile creeping up on your own face just from picturing the beautiful smile adorning his face. “Good morning, handsome” He chuckled, “You sleep well?”
“You could say that..” You trailed off, thinking of the way you were cuddled into Hyuck last night, the warmth of his body keeping your own body warm. You slept better than you have in a while.
“I miss sleeping with you” Jeno admits, the pout in his voice too obvious. You frowned, feeling the guilt take over you.
“You can stay the night tonight if you want” You lowered your voice, hoping Hyuck wouldn’t hear all the way in the kitchen.
“Oh, no, I still want to give you space! I think i’d be impeding a little if I were to stay the night”
“I don't think so, you’re welcome to stay”
You heard him sigh in relief, “Okay then, I’ll come by in a bit.”
“See you soon, angel.”
You bid your farewells and that's when you noticed Hyuck walking into the room. “Who was that?” He questioned, setting the two plates of pancakes down. You broke eye contact with him, focusing your attention onto the pancakes in front of you.
“I asked you something, you know?”
“It was Jeno.”
He hummed, wordlessly digging into his own plate of pancakes. You felt so guilty. This isn’t where you belonged. You belong next to Jeno, in his arms, under him, near him. You belong with Jeno. Someone who treats you like a proper human. But you found yourself running back to Donghyuck and you hated it. Worst part of it all? Donghyuck didn’t even know you and Jeno aren’t officially broken up. You’d been too scared to tell him, too scared of the possibility of losing Donghyuck in your life. So you’d decide it’s best if he doesn’t know your relationship with Jeno. It’s not even like it matters, right?
“What the actual fuck” Jeno gawked, looking down on his phone screen. He’d originally planned for today to be a rest day after the hell of a day he had at work yesterday but his peace was disrupted when suddenly he got a text from his ex roommate.
donghyuck: hey jeno donghyuck: its me donghyuck donghyuck: i know you might hate me right now but you might wanna see this. donghyuck: [attachment: 1 video] donghyuck: before you come for me, i had no clue you guys weren’t officially broken up at the time of this donghyuck: im sorry jeno.
Attached was a video of a girl, naked body on all fours as the person behind the camera (presumingly Donghyuck) pounded into her from behind. The problem? The problem was the girl had the same hair as you, the same body, the same everything as you. Even that little tattoo on your shoulder that read “delicate” in a beautiful cursive font that Jeno had helped pick out. Everything was you.
jeno: donghyuck. jeno: thanks for this… i genuinely can't believe it.
Within a heartbeat, Jeno was pulling up your contact.
baby <3: hi angel baby <3: can i come over? i left my hoodie at ur house and i need it
you: sureeee thing! you: let me know when ur abt to reach <3
Jeno, furious, hurriedly grabbed his keys and got in his car. He thought after what you’d been through, you’d know how it feels to get your heartbroken like this. He’d expected you of all people to be better than this but no, you had to be the absolute worst of them all. He thought maybe you of all people would keep his heart safe but no, you clearly gave no fucks about him or his heart.
He managed to calm down by the time he got to your apartment. Breathing in and out before ringing the doorbell.
“Hi Jen!” You chirped, allowing him in. You were wearing an oversized shirt that exposed your newly tattooed shoulder. The same tattoo that was visible in the video. Jeno’s heart sank the more he looked at you. The girl he once gave his heart, his love, his everything to, is the one who he’s currently dreading speaking to. In other words, he hates you right now. Hate was one word he would’ve never imagined using with you.
“You okay, love?” you frowned, wrapping your arms around him tightly, pulling him close into you. He hated the innocent look on your face as you peered up into his own. He had a soulless look in his eyes. “I’m fine,” He forced a tight lipped smile, peeling your arms off him. “I’m gonna– uh, grab my clothes.”
You watched as he walked into your room and went straight for your closet, rummaging through to find his hoodie.
“Jeno” You started, walking into the room behind him. “What’s wrong? Talk to me baby,”
Jeno sneered, turning around to look at you with narrowed eyes. “What's wrong Y/N?” His voice raised, he wasn't yelling but it was clear that he was upset. “What’s wrong is while I gave you space to figure out your shit with Donghyuck, you went out and were fucking him. While continuing to lead me on. Isn’t that wrong, Y/N? Don’t you think I deserve any loyalty? Any love in return? While I sat here, impatiently waiting for you to come back to me, you were taking advantage of it and fucking the reason we were on break. Don’t you remember how we met in the first place? All those nights I spent being a shoulder for you to cry on, being there for you every step of the way. Don’t you think I deserve anything?” The hurt in his eyes was more than evident. You looked dumbfounded, eyes wide in shock as you stood frozen.
“Jeno–” You cut yourself off, at a loss for words. Sighing in defeat, you gave him an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. I felt so incredibly guilty everytime, but something in me just couldn't stop. I hate myself for doing it and you deserve to hate me for it too but I’m so sorry.”
“I loved you, Y/N. How do you think it feels when your girlfriend’s ex fling– or whatever he was, texts you randomly, telling you that your girlfriend had been fucking him the whole time you’d been on break? It’s not a great feeling, I’ll tell you that. Oh, and having to see a video of it? Even worse. I’m sorry Y/N but I don’t deserve this. I gave you my everything and you couldn’t even spare me an ounce of loyalty.”
“Jeno, a-are you leaving me?” He felt like laughing in your face, do you seriously think he’ll stay after this?
“Genuinely, do you think I’d wanna stay after the fact, Y/N? Honestly, I want nothing to do with you anymore. Consider us done.” He gave you that same, tight lipped smile, gathered his belongings and walked out your bedroom door.
“Jeno!” You called out, he stopped in his steps, turning to look at you one last time “I’m so sorry, I love you.” Tears were threatening to spill from your eyes.
“No, you really don't. Goodbye Y/N, don’t contact me again, please, for my sake.” And with that, he walked out your door, leaving you broken and in tears. You had no one to blame but yourself. If you hadn’t let Donghyuck in that day, you would have saved yourself from this mess, you would've still have Jeno in your life and you wouldn't be here, crying in your doorway.
Filled with rage, you dialled Donghyuck’s number, he picked up on the second ring.
“Why the fuck wouldn’t you tell me, Y/N?” He spat, you could tell he was angry. “You had me thinking this whole time, you’d broken up but in reality, you were leading on poor Jeno and still fucking me? How do you think that makes either of us feel? I know I did something wrong the first time around but this time? You fucked up, Y/N.”
“Hyuck liste–”
“Don’t call me, Y/N.”
With that, he hung up. Your heart dropped, you felt as if you’d lost it all in the span of under an hour. All that you cared about in life had been ripped out of your hands with no one to blame but yourself. You hated what you’d done, hated what you’d done to these two poor men. Neither of them deserved it, especially Jeno and you had no way of going back in time and fixing it.
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Okay, but, what I really like about the Becky marriage episode (s7e8) is that despite generally being a funny episode, it actually takes what Becky did to Sam pretty seriously? A few things:
Sam openly saying that what Becky did was the same as giving him a roofie.
Dean doesn't make a joke about anything that happens to Sam in this episode. This is a big one, because many shows generally take light of female on male rape. They'll gloss over it, victim blame, or generally treat the man lowly. It happens all the time! But they did the opposite here! Dean hated her guts, beginning to end. Never believed Sam could fall for her. And when it was all over, he still didn't give a shit that she "saved" Sam, he just wanted her to sign the damn divorce papers so they could go.
Sam also didn't forgive her, didn't like her at all even at the end. He gives her some advice, but that's just cause he's a generally sweet guy or maybe he's just looking out for her next target. lmao. The narrative is not on her side either way.
Overall I'm just impressed, so far as I've watched it, the series has a good track record of self awareness. It's a welcome change from something like Marvel, which constantly condones and encourages shitty people and puts them into hero roles.
#The Hardy Boys But With Ghosts#spn#supernatural#sam winchester#dean winchester#marvel is the epitome of issues#their characters are godawful and the narrative thinks they're perfect#spn writers know their characters are screwed up#its not about morality - its about watching their journey in general#Id say maybe it's cause spn focuses more on the characters than marvel does#marvel is all shitty plot based and the plots aren't even that good lmao
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Sidenote am I the only person who isn't elated that the main story is ""ending""?
#not that i actually believe that ending shit lmao#tentacle monster will return mark my words#but also. maybe its because I was never expecting or demanding quality storytelling and was just enjoying the ride but#i kinda don't mind the stalling#then again#i don't mind this either#sso
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RIP Will Campos the only person who was murdered this episode.
#I fucking loved this episode but also FUCK- OH UH DON'T READ MY TAGS IF YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED YET CAUSE UH SPOILERS LOL#dndads#dungeons and daddies#the peachyville horror#dndads spoilers#dndads s3 ep 5#tony collette#ebenezer white#[breathes]#TONYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY#FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK#choosing to believe there's a chance they save him#I REALLY hope they save him#please these tags were gonna be me rambling about how I'm so ready for him to accidentally become an actual spy#and how Ebenezer is just one more person I need him to have homoerotic tension with#BUT NOW WHAT#Anyways poor Will but also not poor Will cause it was REALLY funny how much everyone was screwing with him this episode zkbfeskgzl#stupidly it was the moth bit that got me the most and particularly Matt describing its journey lmao#Somehow- like I knew the Trudy stuff was gonna be dark but somehow it was even darker than I imagined like fuuuuuck#Also sounds like the people who theorized there'd been an og human Trudy were *probably* right?#Heh. But was it a normal death or was she *murdered* dun dun dun#*Very* excited for Kelsey's boxing match#Francis UH OH GOD??#the two scoops line was perfect though#what else what else... No I'm just caught on that ending now god DAMN it I don't care if they pull some cheap shit to save him#oh actually I know exactly what I want out of this but I'll make a separate post about that one sec lol#undescribed
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self explanatory. they are both transmasc. also i think it would be cute for yamato to call baiken aniki
#yamato one piece#op yamato#one piece#baiken#guilty gear#guilty gear strive#art#i actually came up with the outfit swap first. which u wouldnt believe cos i ended up#just shitting out a sketch LMAO focused too much on the other one#i gotta practice drawing baiken.#would this do numbers on twitter or would i get chased off the platform. well ram already went there so this can too
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and the final crop of atfots-tober art challenge!!! part 1 and part 2 can be found at those links :) i just realized the last 3 are all about birds lol
#at the feet of the sun#nine worlds#cliopher mdang#fitzroy angursell#atfots#lays of the hearth fire#can't believe i actually MADE IT TO THE FUCKING END HOLY SHIT#i also ran down at least 5 pens lmao/////////////#inktober
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i am so unexplainably sick of things being called basic as if that's a bad thing. so what if someone listens to mainstream music and makes aesthetic instagram posts and watches popular tv shows because if that makes them happy then it's no one else's business. focus on yourself rather than putting other people down for doing what makes them happy.
#luc posts#there is a reason “basic” things are popular: they make people happy#like those girls who say they're a girls girl and then say shit like “omg i cant believe they listen to taylor swift thats so basic of them#like do you actually think these people give a fuck??? if listening to taylor swift makes them happy then so what??? why is that a problem?#its almost as if humans hate seeing other humans successfull and happy#I'm not saying you have to like mainstream things#but just be happy for people who do#bc at the end of the day if you make fun of someone for doing what makes them happy then you're a horrible person#let people live#let people enjoy things#let people have fun#let people be happy#someone liking stranger things or another mainstream tv show is genuinely not deep enough to bully them for you're wasting ur time#like really underground niche interests are cool ofc but that DOES NOT make you better than anyone else#happiness#came out of my studying tumblr “break” to post this lmao
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Man I wonder where the leader of the fear realm could've gone, it's alMOST LIKE NEVIN HAS AN
#had to re-edit the image real quick because the original edit was from a post I made about Drew years ago#and while the Drew thing is becoming less and less likely. Nevin havinv one has basically been canon since#someone mentioned Greg's (was it Britney's) aura being familiar in s2ch1. ive been putting together a list of every line#that points to Nevin's aura throughout the whole thing (most from s2ch1 but then s2ch10 came out and it was really canon at that point)#but clearly i'm running out of time to say ''i fucking called it'' before it's explicitly stated and i dont want to be in another situation#where somebody else will beat me to a theory and me posting anything about it will seem like copying them. sorry about that btw i had#thought i had already mentioned theorizing that nevin was possessed by a demon in that old theory i made but i had forgotten that one was#super old and was about sigma. so no copying there i just got extremely paranoid there was a mention of a cult and i was like ''nuh uh#that's way too specific and out there of a detail to end up in both our theories'' and i forgot the rest of my super old post was outdated#as hell. and echos had gone ''yeah they're so similar!'' and i took their word for it but now i'm realizing they were probably just trying#to be supportive. so yeah no copying there i was just beaten to the punch of saying something. but i will NOT back down from the aura shit#because i have been calling that shit FROM THE START or at least since i started reading ibvs back when ch20 came out.#also not backing down from saying chris was the worse friend because these past few chapters are the first time isaac has done anything tha#could knowingly upset chris meanwhile chris has. let edward drag isaac to the lair after isaac said edward would beat him up. chose not to#believe edward was holding the secrets over their heads because 'it was something isaac had said' and then immediately distrusted edward in#the next chapter because a random person he didn't know said to steal a book (might i mention how that entire scene proves chris' lack of#development and refusal to take responsibility because it perfectly alludes to when chris had brought those fireworks into his old school#and makes me wonder if charlie has actually gotten him in trouble with his past schools or if he's still just not taking responsibility#and if him following nevin to the woods to test out their powers is an extension of ''if something bad happens its not my fault''#like seriously this man would bring a mysterious suitcase onto a plane if he's told to). uh what was i talking about agai#anyway on a related note my mental state has only gotten worse since i left tumblr and the habit of thinking about chris instead of sleepin#or doing schoolwork has not stopped. so i was still failing for a while and might graduate now but am still staying away from tumblr.#so yeah this was a little update and im not going to linger this time im just going to leave tumblr again right after hitting post#addendum because i just can't let things go. and was thinking about chris again. i don't think his lack of development is because of bad#writing (anymore. i used to.). instead i'm certain his character arc is going to continue into him following someone (nevin probably) into#doing something really bad. and then he'll finally get actual consequences and go 'oh shit i fucked up real bad this time'#if you think that theory is reaching too far into the future you should hear mine about isaac dying at the end lmao
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writing share - body horror edition
So, the lovely, amazing @space-writes expressed interest in reading my fucked-up body horror that I wrote last night/early this morning, and who am I to deny a friend? So, here you go:
A brief bit of context: Just under two days ago, Sigmar, Rook's beloved mentor and kinda-sorta father figure, ended up being revealed as a corpse being puppeted by the BBEG, Dr. Purity. The rest of the party brutally killed him while Rook watched. (Via tooth and claw, and also a sonic shockwave from a magic guitar.) And just today, Warren, the party gunslinger, a werewolf and Rook's other kinda-sorta father figure, died (like perma-forever, never-coming-back died) in order to save Rook's life. (Or rather, in order to resurrect Rook, since he was dead at the time.) Now Rook is extremely sleep-deprived and also being affected by mind-altering parasites, two factors that are working together to give him some pretty vivid and fucked-up hallucinations.
(fair warning, this isn't written out fully to the best of my abilities because this scene hasn't happened yet. So this is just my description of what Rook will be seeing and hearing, not a full prose write-up with his internal thoughts and all that. I will almost certainly do that after next week's session, though, so let me know if you want to see that then.)
major tw for extreme body horror under the cut (also emotional manipulation/guilt-tripping)
Rook hears a strange sound, like clumsy, disjointed footsteps. He looks around wildly for the source of the sound and freezes. Out of the hallway we have just come from looms a horrible sight: Sigmar's corpse is lurching towards him, somehow propelling itself on shattered limbs. All of his joints are dislocated, giving his body a freakishly elongated appearance. His shredded clothes are soaked with blood, and every inch of his skin is covered in hundreds of claw and tooth marks, which are weeping blood. Black ichor drips from his mouth, and a web of dark black veins branch out across his face. Every inch he moves closer leaves a trail of blood behind him. He reaches out towards Rook with jagged, broken fingers, and says "Rook... your friends killed me. Slaughtered me like an animal." He takes another staggering step towards Rook, who backs away, shaking. "You promised to help me. You said you trusted me." He points an accusing finger at Rook. "I should never have come to you. I should have burned down Warren's house with you still inside. It's what the two of your deserve." As if on cue, another shape lurches out of the shadows of a hallway across the way. It's Warren. His chest has been blown open, his ribs pointing in every direction and the remains of his guts are dripping from the hole where his stomach used to be. Every inch of him is splattered in gore. He's missing one of his hands, the arm ending in a jagged point of bone instead. He opens his mouth to speak, revealing a mouth of pointed canine teeth. "Rook, you stupid bastard. I died for you. You." He bares his teeth and snarls at Rook, an animalistic sound that rattles him to his core. "We should have left you to rot in that fungi-infested hallway. You brought him to us," he glares pointedly at Sigmar. "You're the reason those two attacked us, attacked Cherry. You're the reason I'm dead. The reason Cherry won't ever have a father." Sigmar steps closer, looking Rook up and down. "Speaking of fathers, yours was right. You are a useless piece of shit." He spits in Rook's direction, then takes another step closer. Across the room, Warren moves to match him. "Traitor." "Liar," Sigmar adds as the two stalk closer. They're so close now, Rook can smell the scent of Warren's burnt flesh, of Sigmar's spilled blood. They're right in front of him now. He tries to shrink away, further into the corner, but to no avail. His limbs refuse to obey, and he stays frozen in place.
#morrigan.text#my writing#morrigan plays dnd#oc: Rook#*Liars#godddd there's so many little details to this that make it so much worse if you know all the context#like the fact that ''Sigmar'' did indeed know Rook's shitty abusive asshole father.#in reality when they met Sigmar told Rook that Rook's description of Alistair didn't sound like him but he did believe Rook and was kind.#but now Rook already hates himself so fucking much. He feels guilty for bringing Sigmar into the party and then Warren killed himself to#save him so he feels awful about that. And Warren wouldn't even have been put in that situation if Rook hadn't brought Sigmar along....#plus the description of Sigmar's corpse echoing the three ways he was tormented before he died:#the teeth and claws from Maka the shattered bones from Aki's guitar and the black veins and ichor from the poison from Hawthorne.#and Warren specifically killed himself by falling off a ledge and hugging his personal villain to his chest with a bomb between them.#hence the explosion-related descriptions.#and Sigmar calling Rook a liar even though that was their thing for each other....#goddd I can't with this shit.#and then the eulogy Rook is gonna deliver a bit after this? fucking makes me sick man. It's the most depressing thing I've ever written.#the funny thing is that Rook wasn't supposed to hate himself. He really wasn't. And then he ended up being my most self-loathing character#His og concept was to actually be pretty arrogant but I guess he had other plans lmao.#space I hope you like this.
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i often find myself questioning reality and i'm thinking that maybe people shouldn't let their 8 year olds watch The Truman Show (1998) because it might actually create lasting psychological damage
#anyone else see The Truman Show as a kid and still catch themselves wondering if the entire world is a Set Up or nah?? 👀#like i know it's a pretty narcissistic concept to believe the entire world revolves around you lmao but i mean. the paranoia sometimes...#i genuinely 100% blame that movie for this#like i actually think that if i'd never seen that movie then i would just dilly dally on my way through life#never questioning the very fabric of my existence#...i mean realizing that christianity was bullshit might've still ended up doing a number on me#but like. HELL what if watching that movie opened my brain up to be ABLE to consider that my concept of reality (in which YAHWEH is real)#was actually bullshit. and i needed that movie in order to be able to eventually break free from the bullshit.#who knows lmao#but dear god... the other day i was driving#and i noticed that most of the cars would like. ease off the brakes jUST BEFORE the light turned green. like they KNEW.#and logically i'm like. 'that is because they are watching the cross traffic slow down and anticipating their turn.'#but Truman Syndrome Brain was like 'THEY HAVE CUES. THE DIRECTOR IS TELLING THEM TO GET READY TO GO.'#which is dumb bc if i were running a large scale program and had actors driving around i'd just tell them to follow the basic traffic rules#but ya know. the 'Truman Syndrome' or 'Truman Show Delusion' is a legit thing. there's a Wikipedia article on it. lmao#that shit done fucked some of us up :|#unreality#unreality tw#my posts#ramblings#my life is not nearly interesting enough to warrant a tv show#...but then again neither was Truman's. which was the point.
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Vocaloid fans are the most illiterate mothefuckers out there tho so what do I expect
#gerard's diary#9 out of 10 songs that are aestheticized are actually personal#and then theres like. the other end of shit#the ppl who tried to call out kikuo for writing abt their trauma in a nuanced way#cant believe i let those bitches ruin a bpd anthem for me lmao#one i can fucking BELT TF OUT OF BTW#thinkin abt how i ended 6 hours of karaoke in vrc w the bestie w aishite#and just. hit the last notes so well#he rlly thought i wouldnt be able to too since we had been going for so long and aishite is a toughie esp towards the end#tho tbh aishite to me is less Abt the 'quality' of singing and more Abt the emotion#its def a 'theatre' song if that makes sense
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me at 13: by the time im 30 i will probably be married and maybe have a kid but for sure i will be living in my dream city and have my dream job. and also a lot of money
me at almost 30: i think i will treat myself to a corn dog this weekend
#i want a corn dog so bad rn#ngl u guys im actually really struggling with turning 30 at the end of the year lmao#not lmao bc it really is bothering me which is so stupid i know I Know#but. and i know we're All struggling with this. but it's like god i have done nothing with my life#like fr. everyone says that but i literally have done nothing. ive never had a real 9-5 ive been freelancing since college#and tbh i guess that's not a bad thing? but self worth wise i feel like a complete loser.#but ive just made one mistake after another and i know that's what your 20s are for and u know what this is my tags and im not going#to keep contradicting myself i feel like shit bc i feel like shit and ive wasted my whole life thats that#i just feel like such a sham like i cant believe this is what 30 is like i on god feel like im still a teenager#not in a carefree kind of way OBVIOUSLY. which i never was anyway. but i just ?? feel like that#scary fucking episode of rugrats where tommy and chuckie become their dads and they go to work and theyre so fucked up bc#well theyre babies and they dont know anything. and even the fact that i just referenced rugrats to explain how i feel lmaooooo#relationship wise well u guys know how that is. and i truly couldnt care less about what people think about me not being in a relationship#ever and tbqh i dont give a fuck anymore either like. and here i go bringing this up again. but after my ex im like ok life truly is so#short fr i dont even care like anyway. anyway. the point is there is just no reality whatsoever where i pictured my life where i am now#once again living with the abusive relative i moved across the ocean to get away from.#no love life to speak of. fr dont care but god wouldnt it be nice to be loved fr.....#no career. living in a state i hate with all my heart. barely surviving money wise. which is everyone rn but#if i had known 10 years ago this would be my life i would have honestly killed myself.#like if i knew it would all turn out like this i wouldnt have moved i wouldve just fr killed myself and i wish i did lol#to be fair. i didnt see myself living past 18 but like. i just thought something would have saved me by now
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i know we all have fun here on tumblr dot com talking about our favorite sunny ships but...... when you think about it..... genuinely...... these people have worked together, as the only staff of the bar, for over 15 years now. i've worked in a few restaurants and a bar and those tweets/tiktoks aren't lying when they say restaurant staffs are ALWAYS hooking up with each other 😭 like 15 years stuck together..... i just know they're freaky as hell.....
#granted the tweets and tiktoks about this phenomena#are always about cheesecake factory or texas roadhouse LMAO#but still......#i couldnt believe how many people i work with at a BAGEL STORE were hooking up#shit's crazy#and at a bar..... with drinks involved...... you can trust the gang is sucking and fucking#i mean its kinda different bc they were friends beforehand#and i think a lot of the appeal of coworkers is you Dont know them outside work#which then ends up being a downfall when you discover what theyre actually like LMFNSNFN#i'll stop#shut up shannon#iasip
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I Was Born for This (1/2) - The Proposal
Fandom: Homestuck Pairing: John/Dave
Your name is Dave Strider and you desperately want to marry your boyfriend.
Okay, maybe you’re getting a bit ahead of yourself.
Your name is Dave Strider and you desperately need to fucking propose to your boyfriend, so you can get on with marrying the fuck out of him.
#homestuck#johndave#pepsicola#hammertime#john egbert#dave strider#davejohn#journeystuck#hom3stuck#holy shit this is the actual ending#I still can't believe it's been almost a year since I started posting#Thank you for those who have joined me on this Journey#pun maybe intended lmao#This is for you Sam!#aiboufics
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Y’all understand that the purpose of voting uncommitted in the primary is another form of protest to get Biden to choose between a second term and ending military funding for the IDF right?
I keep seeing posts that are frustrated about this because they assume the people who are voting uncommitted are doing it because they hate Biden (and if that’s the case I get it tbh), but I need everyone to understand that there is an inherent strategy in this tactic. The Democratic Party is putting all of its money behind Biden and not putting any other candidates in the Primary, leaving Democratic voters with only one option - the same person who refuses to call for a Ceasefire and is continuing to fund a whole fucking genocide while we tirelessly protest, write/call in to our representatives, and post online to spread awareness. They’re not giving voters a choice electorally. So by voting “uncommitted” instead of simply voting for Biden (in HUGE numbers btw) they’re sending a clear message about where their priorities really lie.
The whole point of voting is to use your voice to tell your leaders what you want! Voters are the only thing standing between politicians and any power they wish to wield. By not voting for Biden in the Primary voters are able to hold him accountable and say “you’re not holding true to the duty of your office, the office we put you in and pay for, to represent us faithfully, so now you don’t get to keep that office.” It’s essentially telling Biden to wise the fuck up, because the ultimatum is genocide or no more power. He will lose the privilege of getting to lead if he doesn’t listen to the people he represents.
I get being scared about this. Protesting can be scary sometimes. Trump is a huge fucking threat to everything and everyone I love. He is a literal fascist who can’t be trusted to run a lawnmower let alone an entire country. But Biden and the Democratic Party are banking all their money on that fear being the sole motivator this November, so that they can continue with business as usual and not do their fucking jobs. They don’t want to listen to voters about calling for a Ceasefire because they want to continue taking money from AIPAC and other zionists, and because they don’t want further conflict between the US and anyone else. By voting uncommitted voters are sending the message that Biden is not doing his job (democratically representing the American people) and they are prepared to fire him for it.
#stop believing that this is just uninformed voters being stupid#there is a strategy behind this#also you should still vote for your local Dems for office!#the presidential election is not the end all be all of this election year!!#and with how the Supreme Court is looking you should all be way more invested in your local and state politics anyways because those are#the people who are actually going to protect you no matter who is President#okay now I’m done#not tagging this in any strategic way because I don’t want to attract people who will dox me lmao#but if you have US politics questions or wanna talk about this further get at me#personal shits
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"Riles, how about I do what you do, and you do what you do?"-the credits should have rolled at that point in Girl Meets Belief, because its a good message on religious belief's, but nooo, this episode wants to force belief's down people's throats so can't have that be the message.
#religious freedom? who that in girl meets world we believe in forcing christianity down people's throats#riley going 'thats ridiculous' in response is just#welcome to the real world riley is all im gonna say#also riley trying to i guess right maya's 'wrong' by leaving money in the money on the floors place#only for maya to come out the classroom see the money and take it is just#actually deserved on riley's end#girl is acting like its the end of the world maya found some money on the ground and kept it#like uh riley i doubt the student or teacher who dropped it is going to come find it with how large the school is and shit#and even if maya left it another student would have taken it so like#(yeah this dont take money you found on the floor lesson fails on me lmao#i've picked up money in the past while in town or going to school#found £40 once#i believe in finders keepers loser weepers at times so this lesson fails on me#and i just find it funny riley is acting like its the end of the world)
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