#not tagging bc it's mostly a vent post
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It's killing me how pervasive russian propaganda is. Propals love to claim that the West is hypocrites bc they support Ukraine but not a variety of countries and people they, themselves being from the West more often than not, did not give a shit about before. They would rather blame anyone else: the government they voted for, the media they are reading, - than look into themselves.
This paradigm also ignores:
Massive anti-Ukrainian russian propaganda campaign that is running for ten years now. Chances are, all they heard about Ukraine before the full-scale invasion is Azov, Bandera, Nazis, and that's what they're running with it (especially leftists/tankies who think Greyzone is a reliable source of information). Despite chances are, there are more far-right in power in their country than there are far-right politicians in Ukraine. Despite the massive reform Azov underwent. Despite the voices of our Jewish citizens and academics, despite Muslim soldiers in Azov;
Massive support russia, russians, russian imperialism still gets. For one example (and there are numerous) Australian ABC TV station recently made a documentary based on the point of view of russian invading forces, and it treated everything they have heard from them or seen as a legitimate point of view. Bucha massacre denial, for example. This is not humanization, this is straight-up genocide denial. And I know that UK TV also showed this documentary, it's side by side on their website with the documentary about Ukrainian abducted children. The children - those of them who survived the deportation anyway - are being indoctrinated against Ukraine, right now, trained as soldiers. If you even care;
The obvious reality that after people realized that there's not going to be a WW3 or a nuclear war anytime soon, they stopped caring all that much, if they ever did. Look at tumblr: any Palestine or even Israel-related post gets 20+k notes easily. That's not something that we see nowadays with Ukraine, if ever. And there is more negativity about Ukraine here, or on other social media, than for Gazans. And this is even counting that Gaza is the base for legit terrorist organization that committed a massive terrorist attack against the civilian population and is currently holding hostages. Which is the justification Israel puts down for their attack, and for their massive infliction of civilian casualties - but it's also what happened. Whereas in Ukraine, what happened was a Revolution of Dignity, where the victims, the dead, were the people who protested against the corrupt government and won. They didn't attack civilians, they didn't kill russians, they didn't even ban a russian language. They just didn't want to live in a corrupt country, in a police state, where children can be beaten up by police forces and be sent to a hospital. That's how Euromaidan started, if you even care. And Euromaidan is exactly the justification russia put up for the invasion back in 2014. You get me? HAMAS terrorist attack spiked huge support for Gaza and the Palestinian cause even before there were 30K Palestinians murdered by Israel. Even before one such death. Ukraine's fight to protect its freedom was met with indifference if not hostility.
Nothing of the above means you should not care about Gaza and Palestine. But somehow, it means that people treat it as a morally superior position not to care about Ukraine, to blame their government, to blame their media, to blame schools and parents and corporations - and, of course, zionists. Which is their dog whistle for Jews.
It deserves another post, how quickly misinformation and antisemitism spreads on tumblr. Holy shit. You guys are fucked up.
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Just to clarify my thoughts (since I've had a number of people ask me about it) re: Job and cursing God. There's a big difference between cursing God as used in Scripture and how we generally would think of cursing at God today.
Cursing someone, in the Bible, has a lot of depth to it. It's not just saying "screw you " in anger, it's got a sense of forsakenness to it. It's the opposite of a blessing, a removal of blessing. If the blessing is presence, your face shining on the person you're blessing, then a curse is absence. In some translations, Job's wife tells him to "renounce God and die," which I honestly think makes a lot more sense to modern ears.
Job says a lot of unpleasant things to and about God in his anger and grief. So do the Psalmists. A number of the Prophets. So can we. God can take it if we come to him with honest expressions of our emotion, including those not-so-nice ones directed at him. I don't think there's anything wrong with getting mad at God and saying, "How dare you, you bastard" when you suffer unjustly. You can say much worse, I think, without sinning, though I don't feel particularly inclined to give examples. But as long as it's an honest expression of your heart, I think you're doing exactly what prayer is for. You're presenting him your heart with an open hand. He can use that. Opposite of love is not hate but indifference, etc.
Job doesn't renounce God. Neither should we. But I think when you're truly suffering, you're gonna have those feelings toward God either way. He'd rather you address them with him directly than try to avoid them. Cursing at God in the modern sense is actually a great way to keep the relationship strong and not end up cursing/renouncing him in the Biblical sense.
#i did try to draw that distinction in the original post but I didn't really go into detail#mostly bc i was trying to be concise and just focus on how the church talks to sufferers#so here's the long version#pontifications and creations#only thou art holy#also side note: there was someone yesterday who responded to that post with the suggestion that suffering is generally the sufferer's fault#and it got worse from there#just an absolutely rank response that had me immediately blocking that person and googling if there was a way to remove someone's addition#idk to what degree that person is an active member of this broader christian community we've got going on here#but if you see that post (and you'll know it when you see it) please as a favor to me don't interact with it#there were some lovely responses and additions to that post yesterday too#but that one made me mad#idk. to a certain degree i wanted to vent#they're blocked now though so whatever#anyway. I've sort of been percolating on these various thoughts for a few weeks#since i went to a really fluffy women's talk on suffering#and now i kind of want to give my version#I'm far from the greatest sufferer in the world. i am well aware of that#but as I've been sick I've just done So Much Thinking and reading about theodicy and struggle with God that i feel qualified to opine#unlike the giver of that talk#anyway#tag rant over#...for now#theodicy
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Can someone please k-word me (the word is up to you)
#random#options#wtf do i tag this as#vent post???#or smth idk#ughhh i miss my friends#mostly jenny#bc she's the only friend im close with on this#i also miss andie#but i dont want to reach out because what if they don't remember me#anyways idk
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"wdym you don't know him he's your 'aunts' son" I have literally never met or heard of this guy in my life and I only see the 'aunt' once a year
Like I haven't even met him as a kid this is just a random adult man I do not know
#random#we haven't even gone out to dinner yet and mum has already called me rude#bc the second i walked into the house i had 5 different people talking to me#and i got hugged by like three people so i got overstimulated even faster than i thought i would#and i panicked and went to my room to calm down but my grandad followed me bc he wanted to ask me more questions#but i got to sit alone for like 5 minutes before my mum came in and told me i cant be rude and i need to try to be nice today#but her opinion of being rude is just me ignoring all my boundaries/discomfort/anxiety so I'm going to get yelled at#and like i said we haven't even gone out yet so theres a pretty high chance im going to start crying in front of my entire family#and that'll make me even more overstimulated so fucking yay#vent post#in the tags mostly#sorry for the rant
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not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go
(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)
#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill#well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst#like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc.#so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made#bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you#but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings#and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste#there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc#so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously)#but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything#if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is#which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose#anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate.#and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic!#if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it.#like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages#or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing#i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know#it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess#as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence#the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education#i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is-#writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl-#will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype#sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen#there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions#like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of-#'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity#like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem#but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.
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honestly i hope trump just fucking falls off the face off the earth. he's the reason my aunt went on a two day anger spree yelling at me for EVERYTHING. calling me irate, hateful, and just overall an awful and stupid person bc of his bullshit public move at a fuckin mcdonalds. fuck em, jfc.
my aunts fuckin insane, the modern right wing has destroyed her. the internet has melted her fucking brain into believing alex jones' crisis actor theory, ben shapiro and his basic bullshit, and trump types. the internet has made her so fuckin stupid, that i fear for the worst to happen to her since she looks like she no older than 45 even though shes 59, almost 60.
like god. good fuckin luck babe.
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ok i wrote a little over 1k words today, somebody tell me they're proud of me :')
#THE TAGS ARE LONG SO BE WARNED!!!#and it's mostly ramblings so not a vent post#i have a good feeling about this draft#i mean i just started a new one but i have kind of a much clearer idea what i'm doing now#i have a notebook where i put a timeline of all the events and it's so helpful#though i have SOOOOO MUCH fantasy names and shit that i invented like a year ago and even though i have all the origins of the names noted#i have little idea how i got there#i even invented a whole calender that i'll use in this story (hopefully) and i'm so proud of this omg#i hope i get this draft finished one day bc it would be a really cool high fantasy book if i do it right yk#AND I'M SO PROUD OF MY MAGIC SYSTEM#it's reaaaaallly complex and i spend weeks figuring it out#though it's been a while since i wrote anything in this project and i don't have all the information on paper (in the notebook) yet#so the information is kinda spread throughout all the documents that i started for like little oneshots scenes and beginnings and stuff#and i have to find them all :')#but creating is soooo fun#but writing is a pain since march for some reason#i had a lot on my plate but also... that normally helped?#well i hope i'll get to write in september bc of semester break#i looked at my progress chart-thingy over the year and i wrote so much in feburary ;-;#i want this back plsssss#nowadays i only get to do like one poem in 2-3 days (and not even that!) and 90% of them are shit#ANYWAYS#thank you for reading all this if you did <3#this was just me rambling lmao#i haven't posted much today aaaahhh but well i'm very tired and in pain :(#i wish weekends were longer man#period.cramps.are.shit.#personal
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A little heads-up because I know I've been quiet on original content for a couple days now, and I don't know when I'll post something again. I currently hate everything I draw and it's taking a lot out of me to not delete everything I've posted, and trying to get out of that slump is taking too much energy for me to write. The Foxy introduction chapter for AU is my current main project, but it's slow going because I'm Bad At Pirate(tm) so I won't make any promises of when that'll be out. But I'm chugging along and fighting the brain, so thank you for your patience <3
#post let luce#cw vent#?? maybe lmao#I just need to dial back for a bit#bad brain cocktail going on#I'm getting greedy and unsatisfied with the responses things get on here#I'm grateful for everyone enjoying my work#but if 95% of reblogs (esp with tags) are friends who can just as well see things on discord it feels redundant to post on here#esp combined with the “i hate my art bc it looks shit for the amount of effort i put in” mindset my brain is currently stuck in#it feels too vulnerable for too little payoff#which is bs bc i know nothing has changed this is how engagement works on here and I was fine before#I just need to be fine again#mostly I need to not hate my art again#and for that I need to draw. and not weep every time I think about it#so yeah i'm gonna be only reblogs for a while
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ok temporarily closing my inbox again 😭
#i went to bed and woke up to a BLOWN UP INBOX#notyouraryang0dd3ss#i’ll try to finish the asks before i reopen them#tbh i think i’m gettting a lot of ppl who used to rant to the now zionists in the anti tag#and when i finish clearing out asks i’ll post asking if ppl want to join as mods#bc tbqh i feel overwhelmed a lot mostly bc i feel and want to give you guys a well thought out response#but im starting to realizing these are just vents to vent 😭#anyways yeah the inbox will be closed for like maybe a week MAX
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the fact this government keeps insisting we're more ~progressive~ than all countries around us, while people are literally getting arrested for just expressing their opinions (not even ones that support terrorism. which is what they're supposedly getting arrested for, on paper. just for supporting the people caught in the crossfire and saying you wish they didn't). hell country hell country hell country
#literally a fascist government at this point. i am not even exaggerating. get me the fuck out of here 😭😭😭😭😭#(man this post is probably confusing to ppl who might not know where I'm from. not that it's hard to guess tho)#I'm lucky i don't have a job ig bc ik i would've gotten fired for having radical opinions such ''we shouldn't mass murder civillians''#(yeah this has happened. to multiple people. and ppl mostly cheer and clap when they hear that 😐)#vent#ask to tag
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that moment when you think about a friend you haven't seen in 2 years and you realize wow the attachment issues are strong with this one
#just blahs#kinda rant/vent in the tags bcs i feel like maybe writing it out will make me feel better but making it as a part of the post seems too much#anyways lmao#said friend was basically my first real friend that i can actually remember and we were literally inseperable for the like . 2 years we had#but then they had to move away#and yeah i technically still have their discord and i can (do) message them every once in a while#but like . im constantly worried that maybe they wish i just stopped#Im always the one to reach out to them first mostly because like every once in a while i literally just sit and cry bcs i miss them#and i have no idea if they miss me too#because they were literally such a vital part of my life but maybe i wasn't as vital in theirs#maybe one day ill actually talk to them about all this#maybe some day I'll tell them that i have a playlist dedicated to them that i listen to sometimes when i miss them and want to cry#maybe some day I'll tell them that i still always sleep with the little plushy they gave me the day before they left#maybe some day I'll tell them how much i want them back and if maybe . just *maybe* they want me back#or maybe some day they'll tell me they've moved on and that i can stop checking in on them every few months#maybe theyll tell me that its weird that i *havent* moved on#because its been two god fucking damn years#thats plenty of time for me to just forget about them and move the fuck on .#its not like i don't have new close friends anymore . bcs i do . but theyre not *them*#i just want to know if they miss me even just a bit as much as i miss them#i need to know .#idk#i really shouldn't be allowed to stay up until almost 4 am lmao#anyways . might delete this in the morning we'll see#I'm just in a missing them mood rn im fine
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Fuck.
I wish I could help.
#lmao hey tumblr vent post time#vent mostly in the tags#tw sucidal ideation#sucide attempt#< not from me from a friend#I won't be naming them since y'know privacy and all that jazz#but it's an online I fucking love them so much#and I don't know how to help#i don't know them as well as i did my previous best friend since we aren't really close#i and others have been trying to get them to stop trying as they document it in vent#ive been doing my best but i don't know what else to say since im just an online friend no one to really be attached to#online acquaintance would be a better term for me ig.. idk#I think the other have been/are suicidal so they are much better than me for helping#and im just some guy who can't relate so i don't know how to help..#im so upset that i can't bc what if they do i can't stop them#reason number 9 to be able teleport to prevent a suicide and be a better support system#im too silly to be of good use litterally told them if they do and when i die in my 40s ill lecture them like a mom#wish i could lecture them like a mom rn#im going to cry in the attic or something i feel like my brain is pre grieving or something#no im not putting my organizing tag on this feels too ..wrong
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haha i'm so sad
#just venting in the tags - feel free to ignore#i just can't get perfect sense out of my head#and i can't stop thinking gloomy thoughts#saw a newspaper article speculating about whether these may have been their last gigs ever 🙃#just... don't 🚫#i'm sure it's mostly post-concert depression though#and i'm sure i'll regroup and start thinking more positively again soon#i always do bc it's in my dna#but right now i'm sad and i miss them#i should have stayed normal about them#what the hell was i thinking getting obsessed with them again after having been normal about them for years#right near the end of a tour#idiot#but then i'd never have found this community either or had these incredible experiences either :((#so i guess things went the way they were meant to#i just need to get myself together#getting there#❤️❤️❤️#arctic monkeys
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there is something to be said about the privilege of accessing mental health support early on. there's also something to be said about how things can still be completely overlooked in that.
ive had psychiatrists since i was four years old. ive been in and out of therapy since the age of five. i was abused as a kid and a teen. no one picked up on the cptsd developing, or the borderline personality disorder, or the dissociation. i was indirectly blamed for some of the abuse i suffered by therapists because my abuse response was to fight. despite a comprehensive mental health team from an early age i still developed DID and schizophrenia. i wasnt diagnosed with autism until i was seventeen. i grew up knowing i had adhd and severe anxiety but still felt out of place and cried wondering what was so inherently wrong with me that no one wanted to be around me.
there's definitely a privilege in being diagnosed and medicated for things from an early age but sometimes i see people talk about it like it means you'll get help for everything ever and nothing will be missed when thats not even close to the truth.
#abuse ment#mh posting#ok to rb and add on to. just be polite abt it bc this is mostly a vent#and is not meant to be comprehensive of every nuance on this subject#ask to tag#fido original
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mostly vent, partially Mando e3 ep 1 spoilers
i hoped that watching the ep would help get over the rut ive been in ever since feb last year, but nope, i barely felt fucking anything for that first ep. i feel like i can argue its the weakest of all mando eps. most mando eps i feel like are very singularly driven and this had 5 different things introduced. i guess it could work out in the end but compared to other season openers, it was weak. i did like grogu spinning around the chair, grogu adn the space whales, and especially din showing grogu how to pilot the ship. but all the plot stuff? i could take or leave
Like... BOBF ep 5 was a way better opener for this season (there's been a year of 'that was mando s3 ep 1' jokes but they were all completely founded!) I think i was just hoping that there was a reason to BoBF jumping the gun on mando's storyline like that. like, i wanted to be able to tell that the story was gonna be really good so they needed to bring grogu back right away, but im not really getting that impression????
and i have no idea if i feel like this because of the episode itself or im still in this dumb fucking star wars rut from the shit show that was BoBF (which, if you cant tell, my opinion of has gone down the farther we get from it).
i just wanted to be able to watch mando s3 in real time with the gay people in my phone! but at this rate, im gonna have to wait till after mando s3 to be in the right fucking mood
#if you dont follow me this post isnt for you#if youve found this from and mando spoiler tag but you dont follow me. dont click bc this is mostly a vent#if you do follow me and if you are one of the afformentioned gay ppl in my phone; i wish i was watching mando s3#bc i wanna talk to you again. i really hate that ive been quiet in servers this past year esp after 2021 was so fun#the mandalorian season 3 spoilers#the mandalorian s3#the mandalorian s3 spoilers#the mandalorian season 3#the mandalorian#star wars#sw#kappa talks
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wait how do you know rowan is black? did the author say it in an ask? genuinely curious bc i haven't seen anything altho i could have missed it lol
On the authors personal blog, yes! I can’t remember if it’s listed on the official blog but yeah he’s def black
#anon#anonymous#it was on sort of a veng post so i’m not sure if it’s still there#she was venting about people whitewashing him#vent*#which imo i think it’s kinda interesting that not long after that post there was some more infamous hate#from my black perspective and in my opinion that’s not a coincidence#lyriumsings txt#i’m not gonna tag their personal blog or anything in this ask because idk if she’d want that so yee#i also want people to leave her tf alone and im almost positive she’s gonna get shit for rowan being black if she hasn’t already#bc the if community can Be Like That#discourse#mostly in the tags but still#answered
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