#not sure what makes him so hated in the lore but I’ll add it when i find it

[spampai]

The promised Flumbo concept art along with random Cutie-Pie (Hellish Syringy) art before I slither back into my Inside-Out cave

Love how these two turned out :)

[notyouraryang0dd3ss]

Ok, I’ll guess I’ll just be the Hiddles anon. Lol since my hatred for her really geared up bc of her involvement with him.

Anyway. So wait. She cheated on Joe??? That’s like the third time she’s cheated, if I’m not mistaken.

She cheated on Calvin — or at least there was an overlap — with Tom Hiddleston. Then she insinuated in her shit music, that she used Tom as a rebound or cover bc she actually wanted Joe (she met them both around the same time at the Met Gala in 2016). And she used Joe to “prove” how private she really was bc she blamed Tom for their “romance” being so out there.

The man would travel between London and various places in America without a peep, but, sure, Jan.

Their breakup always cracks me up bc he was supposed to fly from LA to the east coast somewhere to meet back up with her. On her plane. They had paps on the tarmac in LA to show him getting on the plane. Then they had paps waiting with her on the east coast to catch them reuniting. Except when the plane landed no one got out. So she went and climbed onboard. A few minutes passed and she came stomping out of the plane mad as a hornet and shooed the paps away. Word got out that he decided after his awkward and uncomfortable appearance at ComicCon some time before that (when he literally said the words “Taylor Swift and I are in love” 🙄) that he didn’t want to be a part of this PR nightmare anymore. So he didn’t get on the plane. And to add insult to injury, it was said he left a small gift bag on one of the seats. Inside it? A self-help book for getting over narcissism. 🤣🤣🤣 He popped up like a week later in London near where he lived. Proving he can get around without anyone noticing him.

During this PRship is when I really got an idea of how she operates and controls her image. She has a three month plan: the “outing,” so to speak (pix on the rocks kissing with Hiddles), being seen out and about (them kissing and touring in time and other places), pix with his family (they walked on the beach near his mother’s home with his mother, sister, and young niece), and then her supporting her friends (they attended a Selena Gomez concert fighter….he looked like a dad accompanying his daughter and her friends 🤦🏽‍♀️). She also has scripts for what her partner is supposed to say. I’ve heard he kept them and he and his friends would sit around (after they broke up) and read them out loud and laugh their asses off at the terrible writing. It’s probably why he sounded so wooden and uncomfortable when he spoke about her during the, what I call, Snakebite of Summer 2016. The rumors were she was trying to get him to take her to the Emmys that September but he didn’t want to.

Anyway…yeah I have a lot of intel from those days 😂 (sorry for the long ass ask!)

hiddleswift lore? in MY inbox? in 2024? it’s more likely than you think! I love this rundown thank you for explaining it!

She’s cheated 3 times and she’s still the victim in all her music? HOW? And how the hell did she convince her fans too?

So she cheated on Calvin with Tom to get with…Joe? This is so manipulative. I hate feeling bad for men but she genuinely makes me feel bad for her exes. She’s awful. If he actually left the self help book, he’s so funny for that. It’s been 8 years and she still hasn’t changed.

Your analysis of her PR relationships is on point! I see the same thing happening with Kelce. With the release of this album it feels like she’s intentionally fizzling out their romance. The scripts make sense because all of her partners sound the same when talking about her. How miserable she must be knowing all the love her partners have for her is fabricated.

[artbyfinnbrown]

Screenshots of my favourite moments from Re:Zero Arc 7 (Part 1):

Todd, it’s chapter 7. You don’t even hate Subaru yet. Why are you already talking about things that could potentially act as parallels to Return by Death?

This death (and the subsequent loops that follow) is probably my favourite sequence of Subaru deaths. I had to do a double take reading this when I realized that the words had started repeating. It starts so suddenly.

I love the O’Connell siblings. Nothing bad better happen to these to or I will be very upset.

“No trust me, I have to keep using the girl voice, it’s about staying in character” Sure buddy, whatever you need to say to feel better about yourself.

So I know this is meant to be screenshots of my favourite arc 7 moments, I guess this is also screenshots arc 7 moments that just make be feel sad and go “Aw, Man”

Wow, Subaru, you’re weirdly into making sure your boobs seem real. I wonder if that means anything.

Priscilla is weirdly one of the characters that seems to be most okay with Subaru’s crossdressing. She’s still mocking him, but she’s not mocking him for crossdressing, she’ll mocking him for being Subaru. She basically says “Yeah you’re a pretty hot woman. Unfortunately, I know your true cringe nature, so your good looks have no effect on me”.

Al. How many times did you die Al.

HA.

“I’ll fill you in on the correct information about Natsumi next time”. This implies that Subaru has Natsumi Schwarz lore that he actively maintains, which is incredibly funny (and also shows just how much dedicated he is to the Natsumi Schwartz persona)

Abel: Good that you’re here Priscilla. I assume you brought troopS with you to help support my cause? Priscilla: Nope! Just me and these 3 useless men I got to follow me around. Abel: Abel: Girl I am trying to retake a nation here-

I really like what arc 7 does with Priscilla’s character. Because arc 3 really just sets her up as an arrogant asshole. And arc 7 never disproves that, she’s still an arrogant asshole. But she’s an arrogant asshole who cares some very specific people.

On my first readthrough, this just seems like another instance of Subaru and Abel’s banter. However knowing everything there is to know now about Vincent and China’s relationship… yeah, it makes sense why Abel might not want people to talk about Chisa betraying him.

“Either is fine” She says. Okay sure thing buddy (Googles “What is Bigender” on a separate tab)

Damn Rem, I’m pretty sure killing him would have inflicted less psychological damage at this point. I do think it is interesting that despite being unfriendly towards Subaru for most of the arc so far, Rem does try to help him by trying to make him feel less guilty about not being able to save everyone. Unfortunately, she had no way of knowing that Subaru was basing a large amount if his self-worth off the belief that Rem thinks of him as a hero, leading this to backfire.

Those are some great questions about Al being brought up. Does he know about Return by Death? Does he have an ability like it? If He does, why wasn’t he able to prevent the loss of his arm? NOW IF ONLY HE WOULD GIVE US SOME ACTUAL ANSWERS-

I don’t know how to feel about the fact that horses exist in the Re:Zero world. I always assumed that Land Dragons just filled the role that horses did in this world. So that fact that there are actual horses feels kind of weird. I don’t like it . Unless horses have always been a thing in Re:Zero and I just somehow never noticed. Does anyone else think that horses existing in Re:Zero is weird? maybe it’s just me.

I mean, I could do an analysis on Natsumi Schwartz, but at this point I feel like Re:Zero tumblr has analyzed Natsumi to hell and back, so I don’t know if there’s really anything meaningful I could add at this point. I’ll leave it at this: At minimum he’s a Drag Queen, and at maximum she’s a trans woman, with the truth probably being somewhere in between those two extremes.

On its own this is nothing. The fact that Subaru says this right after the story refers to Natsumi Schwartz as Subaru’s “ideal self” is what really gives me the sad “Aw, man” feeling.

No Abel was right I don’t think that deserved a response.

AL GODDAMMIT HOW MANY TIMES DID YOU DIE THIS TIME YOU CRYPTIC MOTHER-

Anyway, expect part 2 of this post soon.

[annemissingshoe]

WTTMV Keeper!Poppy, Stitcher!Julie, Theories/just talking(also a non WTTMV character, Solver!Frank)part two

This got cut in half because Tumblr was being weird, ok now let’s continue on with part two and I’m aware that I forgot about this

I do find this one interesting even if I’m not sure quite sure what happened.

Unfortunately Solver’s world got destroyed by Stitcher some time after he left it, he doesn’t know that tho. Keeper on the other hand does. The Connecting backstories.

Also It’s been pretty interesting learning about Solver!Frank, all the bits of lore I got to see. It is kinda sad to see the ask blog go but life goes on, at least I got to see it happen in the first place, everyone wish Rose the best regards I think I said that right.

This had my interest and it still does to this day

fun fact: this when I started looking through posts for lore, well it me a bit to actually do it, like I waited a bit before I went the blog for lore. I still find it weird that no one was making theories posts on Keeper’s lore, despite the fact she had a connection to Stitcher; who is one of our main villains, which should have been a reason a good reason for others to make theories yet no one did?, it’s so weird.

I finally know what happened here and I’ll talk about it at some point. All I’m going to say the lore is on the website that Ariki posted and was talking about not to long. It has some lore about the other characters too, like Archivist and a certain Wally variant who Stitcher hates for example. I wish good luck who plans on finding it next.

Special thanks to @/chocolategothwolfhorse for finding it. I don’t know where you found it but good job.

So we now know that Stitcher became active way later on in the story compared to the other casts and that she sometimes gets fabrics from Trader.

Another example of interactions between characters that are like, I think it’s interesting and cool to it. To me It adds a lot to the story and world, seeing two characters from opposing sides; who might hate/dislike each other, choosing not fight because the store they’re in doesn’t allow it. I like seeing things like this, this is why I thought Coupier and Stitcher at the wedding from last year was interesting. It revealed something I wasn’t expecting and wasn’t thinking about at the time.

A earlier Instance of elaborating on stitcher’s friends who are kept in her Collection, about who ends up in her Collection and why, they’re still alive and ‘conscious’ to an extent.

We finally got more information on what Stitcher’s rules for killing are

So Stitcher doesn’t kill any of the puppets in her collection herself, so all the puppets in her collection were killed by someone else. Any puppets she killed aren’t apart of it. Some other things we learn there’s some characters she won’t kill or she try to befriend first. Stitcher doesn’t kill any variants of her siblings, From her exact words we Coupier would be the one to do that.

“I've met plenty of versions of them since then. I don't really like having to kill some during missions, so Crou is generally the one to do it, while I take care of the ones he doesn't want to kill. We're a great team !" Since she didn’t kill this version of her siblings, who did what happened to them before “she fixed them”?

@arikihalloween

Part one - Part three

some food for thought

[atzfilm]

hey bee!! i finished reading project omen yesterday night and have come two years late to the party to pick your brains for lore and give you a somewhat hysterical review because my gOSH it was incredible (i also read the kraken and ch_i san and your writing is so chefs kiss UGH)

firstly i'm literally in awe that you produced over 40k of AWESOMENESS the whole thing was so good shdfuhhaidu like the feels and the details and yunho and gi being matching koi and yeosang highkey seducing people and HWA best believe i was crying at that bit

every single bit of the worldbuilding and the characters u gave the atz members you ate sO HARD

you actually ripped my heart in two because. the best friends to lovers and then joong's angsty confession of how he's afraid and him falling to his knees in front of reader?? reader seeing the same anguish in his eyes when he saw hwa again?? I WEPT

also wooyoung's wings are literally amazing. him cradling her with them almost unconsciously when they come out and them coming out when he came I WAS SCREECHING OMG

and the thing about how joong doesn't understand human idioms, he's literally so cute, like the bit where reader is like 'only god knows' and he's like 'yes i do know, anyways - '

ERM AND JOONG'S DOUBLE DICK I UH UM (it was perfect. the way he's like a reptile so he has a reptile dick. perfect. delicious. also his biting reflex when he comes. even more perfect. plus him being cold blooded too.)

ok so time for me to pursue the lore: i'm assuming gonggi is jongho because he's mentioned to be the youngest, so what is he god over - i know gonggi is that game with the rock things, is it something related to that?

does san exist in this universe?

also, i know they have their human forms but joong is mentioned to have green hair and woo to have orange, can they change the appearance of their human form's hair to be natural colours or is it just like that?

FINALLY, THE CLIFFHANGER AT THE END??? bro i'm going to cry thank you so much for blessing tumblr with your writing brb i'm going to think about this for the next 9-10 working years

hiii!! no worries about coming two years late, it took me a few weeks to answer your ask so we’re even asdbfjasdnf. first!! thank you sosososo much for enjoying project omen and my other stories! it makes me happy that it’s still being read even after all of this time <3.

AHHH the part with hwa, i think i actually teared up a bit writing that part ;; i get emotional thinking about it AND THANK YOU!! it’s crazy because i did not expect to write So Much of it.. let alone 40k i’m not sure i’ll ever be able to do that again omg

THANK YOUUUU

best friends to lovers is one of my favorite tropes ;; i love it soso much and i’m a sucker for the angst and the struggling feelings UGHHH i love it so BAD

PLEASE!!! that’s one of my favorite things about his character, i love him being very clueless when it comes to idioms that the reader mentions </3

little to say about this point SADJNKFASNDF if you read any of my other fics it’s definitely a trademark !!

gonggi is jongho!! his “power” or ruling is air!

honestly and i know people may hate me,, san does exist but i truly forgot to mention him in the fic … I KNOW. i reread it later on and i was like no way did i forget to add san in here… DKFMS

they can change their appearance! i don’t quite remember and it’s been a while since i read it myself, but i’m pretty sure it only changes when they go back to their true form? since wooyoung hasn’t changed in a while, his hair is brown in the beginning but slowly goes back to orange once he lets his “true” form out.

THANK YOUU!! i’m so happy you enjoyed it as much as you did :<

[teecupangel]

I have this idea where throughout history, Templars are attempting to control everything and these assassin upstarts are stopping them and fighting and parkouring and being really badass and pretty and free and wild and clearly they need a strong hand - aka the templars always end up perving over the assassins and try to capture them rather then kill them. In Desmond's time the assassins are much better off because they know if they get captured by Templars they may be creeped on (or more) but they won't be killed so they can escape. Robert perving on Altair, the Borgias and Pazzi perving on Ezio, Charles Lee perving on Connor, and Vidic Cross and Otso Berg percing on Desmond. Just Templars ->Assassins, constantly.

I hope you understand the kind of badtouch you just unleashed upon this tumblr blog, nonny. Like, I’ll elaborate on your idea, don’t worry, but before we get to it:

WARNING: there’s gonna be noncon, dubcon, and blatant misuse of power and authority in this post. We’re making the Templars a Badtouch cult and this is the only warning you’re gonna get.

To be sure, I’ll even add the ‘read more’ line after this so you guys have one last line of ‘defense’ in case you don’t want to read this kind of thing.

Okay? Still here?

Let’s fuck AC lore by making the Templars BadTouch Central!

(we’re gonna skip the Order of the Ancient/Cult of Kosmos because… uuuhh… just… imagine what would happen to Deimos and Khemu in this scenario if we were to talk about them.)

So… let’s start with Robert. I know you’re thinking of Robert perving on Altaïr but, may I suggest… instead of dying, Kadar was captured instead? And that’s when Robert decided he would be the one to ‘indoctrinate’ the young novice. On one hand, Kadar’s alive. On the other… uuuhhh… as far as the Levantine Brotherhood knows, he’s dead and the one in charge of his ‘indoctrination’ is Robert soooo… yyeaaahhh. (We’re not counting Al Mualim, okay? Al Mualim joined the BadTouch cult late so no. Just no.) Of course, there would still be some bad touching between Altaïr and Robert when they first meet and… I honestly don’t know how we’ll add Maria to this. Like… are we going to make her complicit in the badtouching? Do we make her not know about it just like she didn’t know about the true end goal of the Templars? Either way, Maria’s gonna be the reason why Kadar escapes.

Now, for Ezio… uhhhh… do you remember how he went to Uberto to give him the evidence of his family’s innocence? Like… Uberto’s a Templar and, at that point, Ezio doesn’t know anything about the Assassins and Templars. Not only that, Rodrigo Borgia was in that scene was well… All I’m saying is that… weeeelllllll… it would be very easy for Uberto, a well-known friend of Ezio’s father, to be able to persuade Ezio to come inside and well… yeeaaahhh. To be fair, if the whole deal of the Templars are to be creepy pervs, they won’t execute the Auditores. They would capture them, keep them locked in a place where they can be ‘indoctrinated’. Oooohhh boooyy. Let’s skip a bit forward. This would mean that Ezio would have a more complicated relationship with the Borgias, especially with Cesare and Lucrezia. Like… yeahhhh… dubcon threesome is on the table, that’s for sure.

Charles Lee wanting to perve on Ratonhnhaké:ton would give us a reason for Haytham to be the one to interact with Ratonhnhaké:ton the most. Haytham knew about Charles Lee’s desires and he’s like “yeeaahh, no” and tries to educate Ratonhnhaké:ton the normal way. When that didn’t work, Haytham chose to die instead of giving his permission/blessing for Charles Lee to ‘indoctrinate’ his son.

Speaking of Haytham Kenway… We hate Birch in this house but, you know… he was very successful in ‘indoctrinating’ Haytham, that’s for sure. And the lessons he learned from Birch that Haytham applied to Shay’s ‘indoctrination’. I don’t think Shay would have tried to indoctrinate any of his old allies (although perhaps he did try with Liam and Hope but he’s very new at this) and the Templars (Haytham) decided to focus on indoctrinating Shay instead of trying to indoctrinate all of them. And they succeeded, that’s for damn sure.

Edward… well… he got more than gold when he joined the Templars, that’s for sure. Like, the whole sequence with the Templars? Yeah, just add some kinky master-servant play in that entire scene and you’re good to go. (To be fair, Edward seems like the type to go “yeah, sure, why not?”)

Arno… Oooohhh bbooyy. So, we can go for the whole the de la Serre didn’t ‘indoctrinate’ him at all but considering he’s been their ward since his father died, there will definitely be hints of it. His entire relationship with Élise would definitely be muddied by this entire thing. Like, even if they did fall in love out of their own free will and the de la Serre didn’t do anything dubious to him, no one’s gonna believe that. The Brotherhood would believe Arno’s been ‘indoctrinated’. Also… yeah, Germain will definitely be badtouching Arno too.

And then there was the Frye twins. So, in this case, Jacob definitely got badtouched by Pearl Attaway. Roth is a question though as he’s not technically a Templar? So… their relationship stays just as complicated as the one in canon. Evie though. Oh boy. Evie gets the attention of both Lucy Thorne and Starrick. The whole fight scene in the tower? Yeah, definitely more touchy. The scene where Evie danced with Starrick? … they did more than dance, let’s keep it at that.

And then there’s Desmond Miles. Sooooo… Vidic could definitely lean in to the whole ‘you need someone to guide you, Mister Miles.’ badtouch vibe while Lucy remains her canon self. Although, since we are talking about Lucy… yeaaahh, she’s definitely been ‘indoctrinated’. Cross and Desmond though would have a more punch-and-kick routine that usually has some creepy pervy touches from Cross. Desmond, at this point, know about the Templars’ shtick so he just goes along with it until he finds the proper time to kick their asses and run. It does mean he pretty much knows the Templars kinks.

[vethsoddities]

Veth’s Steph and Pete Headcanons

CW:This Follows The canon of NPMD the best I can so mention of funeral’s and death and the like so be warned if I forget any warns tell me and I’ll add them

and if I spelt or got any lore wrong lmk nicely thank you

Master List

A/n: I’m totally “normal” about these two I wrote these at 1 - 2 am and b4 that I tagged all of these at 1am hope these makes since I’m on new meds and they made me kinda tried and my eyes hurt so bad anyhow my requests are open check my master list it’s pinned on my profile anyway enjoy these headcanons I’m also going through and editing all this at 2:58 am so technically I’ve been working on this from 1 am to 2 am to 3 am I hope you like this

Stephanie Lauter and Peter Spankoffski headcanons

After all that happened in NPMD ie Steph losing her dad and Pete losing Richie and Ruth and Steph having to shoot him and Max stopping the bullet and doing the whole “I’m the only one who can kill you nerdy prudes” and Grace taking one for the the team by giving up what she cherished most 

Pete and Steph didn’t want to be far from each other and ending up holding each other for a while so that led to them having sleepovers at the others home Steph hated being all alone in that big house so she was glad to have Pete being there with her.

They both try to comfort the other when they start to breakdown after all that has happened Steph seems like the type who doesn’t know how to comfort someone same with Pete but they both try and they love the other for that

Steph and Pete didn’t label their relationship right away because they weren’t sure what would happen after all that went down but they knew for a fact they loved the other after a LONG and I mean a Long time of denying the fact they were in love each other like they canonically had a song about it too but after a bit calls each other their partner or girlfriend/ boyfriend thing

These two in my mind both have They in their pronouns and or possibly t4t because they aren’t totally straight in my mind Pete to me seems unlabeled but Steph is either Pansexual or Bisexual and could be gender-fluid and or She/they but either Gender fluid or Demi girl she has She/They pronouns

Pete without a doubt is trans FTM and uses He/Him and possibly on occasion uses They and or them and I could possibly see him as Asexual but I’m not for sure on that one just yet

Pete definitely drives home the fact that Steph is smart and that he’s proud of her and whatever else Solomon told her is bull shit and he loves her no matter what and that he will be their for her no matter what

Steph does the same type of thing for Pete that he is in fact cool to her and not a loser and comforts him fully and says that he’s a handsome always especially when gender dysphoria kicks his ass and will be their for him through it all

This could be me projecting but these two would probably give a little smooch on the other’s forearm and tell the other they love them

I feel like Steph would do Pete’s hair into different hairstyles, Steph definitely teases him lovingly about the bow ties still

Steph at some point mentioned thinking about doing a wolf cut or short hair and Pete supported her no matter what Steph did the same with his hair if he wanted to cut it or let it grow more either way she could still run her hands through his hair

And as Steph does in canon affectionately calls Pete a Nerd and him possibility calling her Mean Girl or probably something else it’s 3:11 am rn and I’m proof reading this when I could be sleeping to creativity is low lmfao

Homecoming was fun for both of them and as it should be I think they have photos of it both digital and Polaroid and for the Polaroids, they have the pictures hanging up on an aesthetic string and clips thing

Content warring here’s the mention of Funerals and death(ig I don’t think I say it at all but still be aware)

Now when it came to the funeral’s of Richie,Ruth it was a ruff time for both of them and seeing as they all were friends it was one of the Moments Steph comforts Pete even if it wasn’t something she was good at still

and after words they visit Ruth and Richie’s graves and leaves flowers and possibly Anime themed stuff for Richies grave and no matter what both Ruth and Richie gets flowers on their respective graves 

When Solomon’s funeral came around I think Stephanie kinda shut down having to be around her fathers colleagues friends and connecting and was going into auto pilot going through the motions of everything that she knew how to act as to make sure Solomon’s image looked good

Pete was their with her and after a while pulled her away from the people so he could make sure she was okay as she could be for what was happening and she just broke down and they decided to leave after funeral things happened

I feel like after wards of both funerals just like after NPMD but before homecoming’s they just held each other to comfort one another and saying sweet things to each other because they love each other

[quietbluejay]

Flight of the Eisenstein

Me reading this: aw where’s my blorbo's purple prose description cmon Guilliman and Horus got fun descriptions where is Mortarion's aura shenanigans James Swallow: say no more

It's kind of hilarious that the Death Guard are like this about Mort, but the Thousand Sons are NOT about Magnus like, if it was the Death Guard doing magic ritual oil shenanigans perfectly rational numerology they'd be fighting each other to help out. Well. Okay, maybe not fighting each other, they seem better behaved than that. Despite Magnus being….Magnus, the Thousand Sons seem to not be affected in the same way by his primarch aura as the Luna Wolves and Death Guard are by their primarchs. They have other stuff going on but they don't see Magnus through a Gaussian filter. Maybe it's because they're psykers so they can perceive enough to see him as more of a person than an idol? but it's funnier to think of it as his fashion choices killing his charisma. Just imagine. Every time Phosis goes on the battlefield he starts thinking "man I wish I could fight dramatically right next to Magnus- wait. The nipple horns. Never mind."

While you studied the blade, I was a nerd

I'm also psyched i finally get to see the sisters of silence in action!!!

Hmmm I may be running into my first example of a writer going “imperium good” I may be harsh here I’ll give him enough rope. I’m. Not a huge fan of how killing alien children is being framed as correct because of how monstrous they look.

Maybe I’m not giving the writer enough benefit of the doubt here. Maybe it's just more subtle than Horus Rising and not spelling things out. This is early in the book after all. But I got spoiled on some elements and given that, this is not looking promising Like also I hate to be the one who drags on about framing but - framing!

You know I’m glad I know more lore now cause if I didn’t, I'd think this meant cannibalism

the funny part being that they do do cannibalism! just not like this

also the death guard get described as gathering "like carrion birds around a corpse" and so they're all vulture-kin in my head now

Wow hello Mr. Obvious Bad Guy calls normal humans "it". I also see Swallow adheres to the nominative determinism school of thought when it comes to naming his characters. On the one side we have "Decius" and "Garro" on the other we have..."Grulgor".

Mortarion: your reward is drinking poison with me …that sure was a scene hashtag justdeathguardthings I bet death guard are big on l'appel du vide, and standing on cliff edges just to stare down.

Lmaoo I love the « it’s totes not a ritual guys that’s superstition and blah blah blah »

Also is anyone going to have an objection to the lodges that isn’t « imperial truth getting rid of gods ergo secrecy and ritual bad ».

The narrative is trying hard to get me to hate Grugnor so of course I’m starting to like him Garro also feels like a copy paste of Loken, but with less personality

That takes some guts to admit How do you know it’s not a trap?

JRRT would like to talk

Lmaoo Mort avoiding remembrancers Mort: ok I hear the order to take remembrancers but oops I am too far away from the ships with them what a pity what's that? you're breaking up I can't hear you byeee

Oh, Garro, like you wouldn’t be totally chill with a « Mortarion's Court » and figure out some way in your mind to justify that it totally wasn't the same thing.

Also our hero can feel based on vibes that something is off aboard the Vengeful Spirit They should have gone all the way and had him be a secret psyker he would have been interesting especially given Mortarion's psyker policy ...wait, IS he a secret psyker? That would add an interesting dimension.

Oh, huh, more Horus!

"I flexed and the armour sleeves came off"

Also this may actually make me like the Emperors Children out of spite, congrats I think Eidolon should get to stab Garro a little. As a treat. And Eidolon is such an asshole I wanted to get punched back in Horus Rising Garro: the emperors children are all dandies and they’re supposedly good at fighting but…are they really.. Saul, canonically his friend: am I a joke to you Oh Saul just showed up hashtag notallemperorschildren

More fuel for psyker!Garro:

to the point where I am legit wondering if it could be true update there's nothing on his wiki article man it would have been great…c'mon

come on man

like tbh it makes a lot of sense Grulgor who is from Barbarus doesn't like him - there's a bit where Grulgor says that Garro looks down on them for not being Terran/not being part of the Dusk Raiders before Mort was found, and that's not exactly unfounded, looking at this. also, pick one: "noble character" or "red right hand of the Emperor"

it. really sounds like he's talking about a WWI memorial. And then the next scene is a battle with WWI vibes including TRENCH WARFARE.

Once more over the top!

blargh it's just "the ones remaining loyal to the Imperium are the upright stalwart lantern jawed men full of virtue and also approved war crimes and all the traitors are evil and petty and smelly"

this is also, incidentally, one of the books where you can feel that it treats NPCs as NPCs instead of background people

I think I might actually drop this book and not finish it I'm going to go look up a plot summary and see if there's anything actually interesting that happens after this point yeah honestly there's nothing in here that seems appealing except maybe getting a look at Dorn

reading this book is like eating oatmeal made with water

I think I'm finally done with the Horus Heresy for now

Note from future Bluejay: you know, reading my notes on this, I think there might actually be something crunchy to dig into with Garro's cognitive dissonance, assuming the book goes anywhere with it. Could Garro have actual flavour? Maybe I'll give it a second chance.

[gregoryhou5e]

☕️ Genshin impact lore (as in how accessible is it for the uninitiated. Does the game eventually give it to you straight, does it take too long to get access to character and world backstories through the little storybook thing they've got going on bc personally I am an impatient person and I dropped it bc it was taking too long)

☕️ Madara jealous headcanons

First of all I am very sorry this took almost two weeks to answer 😭 brain just would not cooperate but hey it’s here now. Secondly I’ll be putting the Madara bit first and then the Genshin bit under a readmore since it’s a lot less relevant to whomever else sees this, I guess HKCNGKD

———

Madara jealous headcanons… not sure whether you meant romantic or general, so I did a bit of both but also accidentally wrote A Lot. So sorry . Also if any of it sounds odd so sorry again because I wrote it all at once.

I think that particularly during the Konoha founding period he could’ve dealt with a lot of bitterness over the way charisma seemed to come naturally to Hashirama, who was widely admired, whilst he struggled to be seen as anything more than his battle prowess/in a fearful or hateful light, even amongst his own clan.

I think even if he knew that Hashirama struggled with the way he was viewed (which personally I think he would’ve had those struggles) it wouldn’t really stop those feelings, even if he did his best to shove them down and pretend he didn’t yearn for that same admiration (even if he felt he didn’t deserve it).

Then, there’s another layer to it if you add Mito and all that into the picture. It depends on what interpretation of what their relationship was like in the Founding era, but what makes the most sense here I think would be like… they both loved eachother but it was always an “almost” situation.

Despite the tension that was clearly there between them, Madara would be too repressed and lost in his own grief and self-loathing to make any real advances, (and Hashirama never did either for his own reasons) and then before he can come to process any of it he’s being told of Hashirama’s marriage, and finds himself seething— both at Hashirama and at himself, and at Mito and at it all. It’s a culmination of all his past envy and bitterness at that point, and it just gets progressively uglier.

I think he’d be invited to the wedding, because why wouldn’t he be, but I don’t think he’d publicly show up. He might slip in to watch bits and pieces of the ceremony, but the look on Hashirama’s face when they accidentally make eye contact is enough to make him walk out, quickly making his way home before Hashirama got a chance to speak to him.

Well. Anyways, maybe after this is when he starts to really lose himself in researching the tablet, poring over it day in and day out because who is there left to see? His clan thinks he’s deluded and unfit, and the sight of Hashirama and his wife revolts him. I don’t think he hates Mito because it surely seems he respects her by the War arc, but the feelings there are largely unpleasant. He knows it isn’t any fault of hers, yet still the jealousy remains.

And there’s the confrontation between them, and the distance between them has grown too large for any understanding. Madara then feels vindicated, and though he could’ve gone for one last-ditch effort to communicate, he doesn’t. There’s no hope left. The rest is history, etc etc.

TLDR

Anyways here’s the Genshin bit ⬇️

To be honest, I don’t think it’s incredibly accessible, at least if you’re trying to find things out primarily by just playing the game. I’m not sure exactly what you mean by the storybook thing, but I think it’s kind of like. If you don’t wind up getting invested in the gameplay/mechanics at least to an extent, or find some other Tie to keep you playing, it would just get exhausting I think because most (though not all) of the lore comes in the form of questlines that you go through, which can be very time consuming. Additionally, there are the lore bits you get via character profile voicelines, but that is even more of a matter of patience because you unlock many of the lines by doing dailies, leveling the character, etc.

Now, that being said, you don’t necessarily have to do things the conventional way. Pretty much every quest has been recorded and put on Youtube, and there is of course the wiki and other places to find information. I can imagine that may not be as immersive for some people though… it’s a difficult thing. I would say that even if tiresome, doing gameplay stuff and quests to gain more information can still feel very rewarding, but once again it depends on the person.

If you have more specific questions about this/the game in general my DMs are always open!

[iceicewifey]

AAAAAA ALSO HOW HAVE YOUR OCs BEEN?

I’m going to be very upset if you gave them all a bunch more trauma >:(

SOME HAVE BEEN BETTER THAN OTHERS,,, no major trauma if it helps :3c /hj

god i’m trying to remember what’s different since it’s been a while and everything is just a blur to me hsjjdjd it’s a bit of a list tho so i’m gonna throw it under a cut

˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ changed it so shay and nilla eloped in vegas in 1989 after following terry to california (where i hc him to be from) to ““make sure he gets settled back in okay”” — not a total lie since the poor guy was on crutches but yeah :’) they still have the 1991 wedding after getting back in contact with shay’s dad* but they literally could not wait * once her dad gets over himself and isn’t attempting to pick fights with vanilla constantly i should say kxkskxk ˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ i know he’s not an oc but i changed up nilla’s backstory a bit; it’s still in progress but i switched new jersey to long island and added a bit of greek and saudi arabian to his heritage since his father was from alexandria originally before relocating to cairo and that’s right by the mediterranean sea — still trying to figure out where to add it in, but i wanna say it’s ways back in great grandparents so his dad was still primarily egyptian, but figured you might be interested being the li’l middle easterner you are /affectionate ;0; ˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ currently on the fence as to whether or not mahmoud will full on move from nyc to either cairo or alexandria, or if he’d just go for dual citizenship ˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ aaliyah’s on the redesign list, not a whole revamp but just changing a lil bit because i feel like she looks a little too much like vanilla,, but every time i try to redo her hair she comes out looking even more like him hxjskkzks ˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ SPEAKING OF KIDS, there’s a third baby now; he’s not in my main canon as i don’t wanna disrupt noel and aaliyah’s dynamic but his name is kasim and he was born in 2002 – he’s the only one with shay’s eye color 👉👈 ˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ i might have mentioned shay’s sister shasta following in their dad’s footsteps and becoming a mechanic but i’m still in the process of brainstorming like a detailing and customization shop they’d work at together when they’re older 🥺 shasta’d have to legally own it since she’s the only certified mechanic there and shay’s a high school dropout with a criminal record but shxjdkx i’ll figure that out later. shay does the detailing and airbrushing so it’s all creative stuff that makes her very :) ˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ speaking of shay’s dad, him and ozzy become best friends which i think you knew about but memory do be foggy,,, anyway i had loose ends i didn't like so they're eventually roommates when jedd moves back to florida,,, historians would say they were very good friends if you catch my drift hfhfhf ˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ my brain was being spectacularly mean to me and i had to drop hol as an f/o for a bit, but he’s back and because of that his and tanya’s lore is getting a bit of a rewrite, they’re in a trailer park in new mexico now instead of just outside of nashville — shay’s ‘i hate tennesee disease’ rubbed off on tan,,, i’ve never been there i have nothing against tennessee i swear JXKKSKD

[thunder-jolt]

My Guilty Gear OC: Edlosi, the Mad Queen of Dark (and her lore...)

So, to fuel both my hyperfixations of League of Legends and Guilty Gear. I decided to make a Guilty Gear OC inspired by a League of Legends character! Enter...

Edlosi, the Mad Queen of Dark...

- - - - -

Her past life wasn't a pleasant one, she was neglected and mistreated as a child, and as she becomes an adult; she wasn't respected all that much either. But not until someone has entered her life, shaping it drastically.

The heir to the kingdom's throne has found Edlosi, and soon fell in love with her, and so did Edlosi, and both of them got married when they were crowned king and queen.

She devoted and loved her man as much as he loved his wife, and with good reason; for her lover had treated her with kindness, adoration, and love, which she wasn't given back in her past.

But not everything is as happy as it should be, unfortunately.

During a celebration, a dagger launches through the crowd and into the king's chest.

To add more salt to the wound; the dagger is truly a poisonous dagger.

Edlosi fell into despair as her lover succumbed to the poison, and soon became mad.

When she hears of a place that can resurrect people, obsessed with bringing her love back; Edlosi took this as her only solution and went over to that very place with her love in her arms.

And just as she entered and soon resurrected her lover; she thought she would be granted happiness again, but her joy was short-lived.

Soon all light was gone, a black fog soon materializes, and there, she sees her resurrected love, wielding his blade, she rushes to hug him but the blade was soon plunged into her chest, she gives one more look at her lover before he dematerializes into the fog.

Absorbing the black fog, the temple she's in soon explodes into bright light, and the temple and the island it inhabits were soon engulfed in light, and once that light faded; the queen, the temple, and the island were gone as if completely wiped away from history, but the legend is still out there until now in 2188, or more or less; the 22th century...

- - - - -

Author’s End Notes: If the lore seems familiar to you, that’s because it’s basically Viego’s lore but revamped a bit, and revamped as in: make it a What-If question, like what if Isolde was the one that got ruined instead of Viego? And also apply that to the setting of Guilty Gear.

Not sure how accurate but it’s an OC, could there be any accuracy? Well, changing the lore so that Edlosi would fit in better with the cast seems fair game so could be just me...

Also, have some incorrect quotes between some Guilty Gear characters and Edlosi, majority of it mainly between Happy Chaos because he’s my new fav but we’ll see...

- - - - -

Incorrect Quote #1:

Edlosi: I could kill you if I wanted. Happy Chaos: Yeah? So could any other human being. So could a dog. So could a dedicated duck. You aren't special.

- - - - -

Incorrect Quote #2:

Happy Chaos: You remind me of the ocean. Edlosi: Because I'm deep and mysterious? Happy Chaos: Because you're full of salt and you scare people.

- - - - -

Incorrect Quote #3:

Sin Kiske: We either die free, or die trying! Edlosi: Are those the only choices?

- - - - -

Incorrect Quote #4:

Jack-O: Can we get a birthday cake? Edlosi: It’s not your birthday. Jack-O: The cake won’t know!

- - - - -

Incorrect Quote #5:

Faust: Go to sleep, or you'll hate yourself in the morning... Edlosi: I'll hate myself in the morning regardless, Faust.

- - - - -

Incorrect Quote #6:

(Kind of OOC for Happy Chaos, but flaccid seems to be a word that fits Edlosi’s tongue-)

Edlosi: Happy Chaos! This soup is flaccid! Happy Chaos: LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS MEAN?!

[catgirlforkaeya]

kaeya relationship hcs

kaeya x gn!reader

little bit of everything (fluff, hurt/comfort, crack, little bit of angst)

also kinda a modern au ig idk tvs exist

warnings: not proofread + all lowercase

a/n: i’m procrastinating requests and sleep rn so take these. there’s no specific theme just random hcs my sleep deprived brain thought of. i’ll add onto this randomly probably but feel free to comment hcs in the comments/ send to dms or ask box i would love to hear them (pls i am desperate)

!! also spoilers for kaeya’s lore, if u don’t know it i recommend looking it up before u read this !!

ok i’m gonna start with the obvious stuff here: i see a lot of people saying “oh kaeya would manipulate his s/o and cheat on them blah blah blah” then continues to say stuff that makes him seem like an ass (if you’ve ever said this dni /hj). the poor guy has lost sm people in his life & more than likely has abandonment issues so why would he purposely do something to drive his s/o away/hurt them? plus it’s canon that he really only is manipulative when it comes to getting information out of people which is normal in that line of work ig

more utc!!

i feel like he’d be possessive over you but not in a creepy insane way more of a “i don’t want to lose you so i do my best to keep tabs on you to make sure you’re safe” (a caring way ig)

very touchy. he doesn’t go all out in public (just a half on the waist, holding hands, sharing kisses, small acts like that) but in private my god he cannot keep his hands off of you. constantly is cuddling with you, runs his hands up and down your body during makeout sessions, playing with your hair while you two sit on the couch/lay in bed watching tv. literally does everything he can to constantly be touching you

NECK KISSES. kaeya would 100% love neck kisses (giving and receiving). sometimes his neck kisses are soft and other times they’re rougher. he def leaves a hickey on you at least once or twice a week. and when you give him a kiss on the neck he’d melt on the spot

isn’t very open with you at first but once you two get further into your relationship & you prove that he can trust you he’ll open up about stuff. it’ll be a slow process because he’s never really shared any of this with people & he’s scared what you’ll think of him after you learn about his past

def rarely ever cries. you always remind him that it’s okay to cry but hes gotten so used to bottling up emotions he just doesn’t know how to cry whenever he wants. when he does finally break though it’s basically non-stop for a few hours. weeks, months, even years of emotions are bottled up in his body so a lot comes out when he breaks. you are always there for him no matter what. holding him in ur arms as he cries into your shoulder, giving advice the best you can, giving small reminders that you love him in between kisses

insomnia. this man has been through so much shit i feel like he just has frequent nightmares of stuff. those nightmares cause him to be scared to sleep for a day or two because he doesn’t want to experience it again. you do your best to stay up w him to keep company but you usually crash around 3-4am

hates storms. his lore mentioned there was a bad storm when his father left him & the night crepus died and that whole fiasco afterwards so it’d make sense. tries his best to hide it at first but eventually gives up. usually just turns the tv up high and buries his head into your chest

drinks a lot (which is obvious) even at home. whenever he starts having problems mentally he drowns it with alcohol. it’s never a problem because he honestly is just a sad drunk and usually ends up venting about stuff randomly but it just concerns you. probably stopped drinking as much since you came into his life tho

has scars/burn marks that he’s insecure about but when you trace them/give them kisses all those insecurities fade away

overworks himself. ik he’s seen as lazy and stuff but i feel like he’d purposely just drown himself in work as a distraction from life to the point you have to go and drag him out of his office

ok back to happy stuff, he definitely likes it when you play with his hair. most likely is very touch starved so that small action is like heaven to him

his love language is a mix of all of them but prob mostly touch, words of affirmation, or acts of service

uses a lot of pet names for you but mostly uses darling, sweetheart, hun, babe, or love

when he works late shifts and you fall asleep before he gets home he will probably feel awful (even tho you’ve reminded him that it’s okay & you understand). crawls into bed and holds you in his arms while whisper sweet nothings even if you’re dead asleep. does his best to not wake you but sometimes does just to let you know he’s home safe

takes you stargazing. i feel like kaeya likes the stars bc he finds peace in them somehow. will 100% take you onto rooftops in mondstadt at random hours to lay up there and look at the sky. would say some cheesy comment like “out of all of these stars you light up my night the most”

loves taking showers/baths together. even if you don’t actually shower he enjoys it either way. half the time you can never get anything done because he’s just giving a bunch of kisses and teasing you

absolutely loves seeing you in his clothes. he finds it adorable and if the shirt is oversized on you that’s even better for him

he will paint your nails. i’m not going into detail here he would just simply paint them i’m not taking any arguments

the last like hour before you two go to bed he just constantly reminds you how much he loves you, how much you mean to him, how he wants to have a future with you, etc while he holds you close in his arms

you don’t have to fight over blankets since he sleeps so close to you it doesn’t matter you two have plenty of blanket space

prefers being the big spoon but doesn’t mind being the little spoon occasionally. when he’s the big spoon he feels like he can protect you more

has you sleep on his side where his eyepatch isn’t at (i can’t remember what side it’s on i’m sorry it’s 4am rn). at first you didn’t really understand but he later explained that he just feels he can protect you better (when he gets comfortable enough to take it off it doesn’t matter what side)

as i’ve mentioned in these past few points kaeya is VERY protective of you. again not in a weird way he just doesn’t want you to get ripped away from him. if u mention somebody fucked with you he’d “talk to them in private” and then they’d never mess with you again

i feel like he’s a good cook idk he just has that energy, it’s not something he talks about but is good at it and really only ever cooks for the two of you

will take care of you the best he can when you’re sick. you scold him saying he’s going to get sick too but he doesn’t listen

absolutely LOVES books and reads in his freetime. it’s kinda a guilty pleasure for him but he constantly shares it with you and sometimes even has you read it with him

takes you ice skating in the winter, he’s prob a pro at it and loves teaching you how to skate

cold ass hands. i mean he’s a cryo user what would you expect. it’s helpful in the summer though

barely ever wears a shirt on around the house, even if it’s cold as hell he just doesn’t put one on. you don’t mind seeing him shirtless but u are always so lost on how he doesn’t get cold at all

gets you a lot of random gifts— half the time you don’t even expect them but you love and cherish them because they came from kaeya

© all rights reserved to catgirlforkaeya. reposting, plagiarizing, modifying, and translating is NOT allowed.

[k3rm1e]

I just had this idea, what if Ranboo and reader are besties. However, since Tommy is jealous jelousinnit of Ranboo for “stealing” Tubbo, he “steals” reader in turn and they too become platonically married.

Maybe after Ranboo and Tubbo learn of the Tommy and reader’s marriage, Ranboo and Tommy are now “competing” for time with Tubbo and reader. Meanwhile reader and Tubbo are just laughing watching this play out? <3

-♠️

jealousinnit

I just had this idea, what if Ranboo and reader are besties. However, since Tommy is jealous jelousinnit of Ranboo for “stealing” Tubbo, he “steals” reader in turn and they too become platonically married.

Maybe after Ranboo and Tubbo learn of the Tommy and reader’s marriage, Ranboo and Tommy are now “competing” for time with Tubbo and reader. Meanwhile reader and Tubbo are just laughing watching this play out? <3

-♠️

dvwefnowef i love this idea! i hope i did it justice <3

cw:cursing 

tommy vs ranboo:

  “hello tubbo! tubbo. tubzo.”  tommy yelled again and again, trying to get tubbo’s attention.

  tommy continued continued yelling his name for a response. pitying the poor boy, you responded “hi tommy.”

  “oh. hello.” tommy made his minecraft character walk over to you. “what is tubbo doing?”

  “uh, he’s arguing with ranboo? about something somewhat important, i presume.”

  “lore married, those two are. strange, innit?” tommy turned his character to look more directly at yours. the eyebrows on the character made him look intimidating, especially with the way he stared at you.

  “yeah. yes. strange. lore married.” the conversation had ended from there, with an awkward silence. after a while tubbo and ranboo had finally stopped fighting.

  it had been a few days since your interaction with tommy. everything had been pretty normal, just hanging out with ranboo and tubbo. helping oversee the building of the mansion. that was, until tommy came and talked to you.

  “uh, hello tommy.”

  “hey. i’m live right now. what are you doing?”

  “uh, nothing really. mainly have been overseeing the build of ranboo and tubbo’s mansion.”

  “close, the two of you are?”

  “yep. i know him irl so i would say, yeah, we’re pretty close.” this was where you started to get a bit questioning.  sure, you had spoken to tommy before, but you two weren’t necessarily close.

  “hey, y’know what i think.” he turned his character to stare at you.

  “no, what do you think tommy?”

  “let’s be friends.”

  tommy proceeded to drag you around the server, getting to know you better. you two had run around quite a bit, and ended up near the badlands. tommy, of course, decided to bring you into his mischief.

  “ok, when bad joins vc, after i say hello you have to say ‘say FUCK badboyhalo’ to him.”

  “doesn’t bad always yell language at everyone? shouldn’t i probably not do that?” you had just recently gotten added to the server and even doing certain things for bits made you nervous.

  “you’ll be fine. now get ready.” once bad joined the vc, tommy yelled “HELLO BADBOYHALO.”

  “well, hello to the two of you. how are you both doing?”

  without taking the time to answer you yelled, “BADBOYHALO SAY FUCK!”

  tommy immediately began laughing. bad’s character was running around and you could hear him stuttering until finally shouting “LANGUAGE!”

  “oh come on, bbh. it just adds more impacts to what you’re saying. imagine you were saying ‘i hate that muffinhead skeppy so much’. isn’t it much more impactful when you say ‘i hate that BITCH skeppy so FUCKING much!’?” even though you couldn’t see his facecam, you could tell how much he was smirking.

  “LANGUAGE TOMMY!” bad was screaming and from his voice he seemed to be fuming.

  catching onto what tommy was planning, you started for him, “seriously bad,  what do you have against saying a few curse words? FUCK, SHIT, BITCH, ASS, PUSSY.” you and tommy both began screaming curse words at bad until you heard him scream and leave the vc.

  and for the next few weeks, that was how it went. you two caused chaos all across the server, getting on everyone’s nerves. phil had quickly deemed you ‘chaos gremlins sent to drive him even further into his old age’. at least kristen appreciated the two of you.

  “phil, what are taxes?” tommy had asked phil.

  after hearing him mutter a quick “jesus christ…”, he gave tommy an answer, “pretty much shit you have to pay because the government said to.”

  “and is there any way to pay less taxes? y’know, cheat the system?” tommy was quickly driving phil to old age.

  “well, marriage gives you tax benefits.”

  “ooo!” tommy turned his minecraft character towards you, “marry me! for tax benefits!”

  and so there was a new platonically married couple on the server.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  ranboo had noticed your lack of presence. instead of showing up in his streams, you were usually doing something with tommy. the two of you had even gotten married, the same way he and tubbo had. jealousy, even when irrational, was still a very real and present thing.

  which is what led him to be standing outside your minecraft house, waiting for you to stop talking to tommy for a second and answer his in chat messages. for five whole minutes, he had to deal with chat clowning on him. “chat, i have never been replaced. they simply cannot replace me. there is no way to get rid of me.”

  “you’re like mold!” tubbo had joined ranboo’s vc. his energy heavily contrasted the other’s.

  “...tubbo, how am i like mold?”

  “you’re just constantly growing on people! holding on for dear life until an exterminator is called! do i need to call an exterminator on you?”

  “...no thank you, tubbo.”

  finally, you and tommy had joined vc. “hello ranboo!”

  “hello! what took so long?” the agitation in his voice was barely detectable.

  “oh, tommy here was being pissy. didn’t want to leave vc2.”

  “so tommy was stopping you from talking to your friends?” ranboo clicked his tongue and jokingly said, “seems a bit, uh well, toxic, to me.”

  tommy quickly erupted into screams. “HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF BEING A TOXIC FRIEND?”

  “I WASN’T ACCUSING YOU OF ANYTHING, WAS JUST STATING MY OPINION!” ranboo had started screaming back.

  “IF YOU WANNA SEE TOXIC, I’LL SHOW YOU TOXIC RANBOO.” you could distantly hear an 8 bit version of toxic by britney spears playing from tubbos mic.

  “OH SHUT UP TOMMY, PLEASE, I’VE BEEN FRIENDS WITH THEM FOR LONGER.”

  “BITCH, PLEASE. JUST BECUASE YOU’VE KNOWN THEM LONGER DOES MAKE YOU BETTER FRIENDS. WE’RE MARRIED, WE ARE.”

  and from there, the screaming continued. In-game chat, you could see tubbo telling you to join vc6.

  “crazy, that lot is.”

  “agreed.”

thank you for waiting! i’m sorry this took so long, i’ve been visiting family for easter and haven’t really been able to write. i hope you enjoyed this, though! <3

[wutheringmights]

Can I be greedy and ask for all of the boys ? And any characters you have strong opinions on? Pretty please? With lots of cherries and chocolate on top? ( for the ask meme ofc)

Anon, I'll finish up all of the boys in the Chain just for you. And trust me, I have an Infinite Amount of Strong Opinions. You have no idea how Opinionated I Am.

If anyone is coming in late to this, here are the boys I have done already and a short summary of my thoughts (click the hyperlinks to get the full Opinion):

Warriors: he's best when he's the trashy anti-Link, and I like him so much

Twilight: kind of boring, but I have a soft spot for him anyway because you never forget your first

Wind: should have been aged up a little so that he can have that identity crisis I'm craving

This... gets long. Really long. 3-hours-of-work-long. Before you read, please note that even when I speak negatively about something, it’s not to diss anyone who does like the thing. I’m not vague posting or being passive aggressive. This is all written in good humor and good faith. 

That being said, let’s a-go!

-Sky-

What I love about them: He has one of the best character arcs of all the Links. I love that he starts off being lazy and kind of a jerk, but grows as a person because he wants to save his friend. And I love that he's truly the most courageous Link. He has no other successful hero of past or legacy to lean back upon to reassure him. He walked into that fight with Demise with no assurance from anyone that he would succeed. Yet, he does it anyway. Because he's a true hero and someone had to be one. And he's rewarded with a curse that he does not initially take seriously. He thinks he's saved everyone, yet he's cursed his spirit, possibly his bloodline, and his entire legacy of the kingdom of Hyrule into a doomed cycle of destruction. All because he dared to face evil incarnate. I love him.

What I hate about them: You know how I called Twilight boring? I should have saved that critique for Sky. LU Sky is actually the most boring interpretation of his character. All of his negative traits? Gone. All of his positives? Also gone. He's the blandest version of himself, and like Twilight, I now feel like I gotta add some spice to him to make him more interesting while still keeping him recognizable. Even so, he's still one of my favorite Links.

Favorite Moment/Quote: When he kicks Twilight's ass at sword fighting. That's stuff is *chef's kiss*

What I would like to see more focus on: You would think that there would be more angst out there about him realizing that he's actually been cursed, but it's still kind of hard to find. He's the Cursed Knight! The beginning of a terrible legacy! Imagine meeting a bunch of heroes for the first time, and instead of being relieved at having someone who understands your experiences, you're filled with horror at realizing that your victory was a false one. You didn't win. Your spirit will never be at rest. Imagine dealing with that realization for the rest of your life. You could never be at peace.

What I would like to see less focus on: I love that he loves his wife, but he's more just the fact that he's married, y'know? I would like to see a little less blind devotion to Hylia and Zelda, and more complicated feelings about being manipulated into being the hero.

Favorite pairing with: Sun/Link/Groose OT3! I have no reasoning behind this other than I like Groose and Groose definitely had a crush on SkSw Link.

Favorite friendship: I won't answer Groose again even if I want to, so I'll say Warriors. I cannot begin to describe how elite this friendship would be if you gave it a chance. They're just two boys dealing with unique positions of leadership and responsibility. They would probably even bond over being shitheads at different ends of the shithead spectrum. It's so good, okay?

NOTP: Ghirahim. I'm not too adverse to this one, but the ship hinges on whether you can redeem Ghirahim or not. In my opinion, Ghirahim is awesome because he's such a fun villain. Redeeming him ruins the fun.

Favorite headcanon: I have a whole life story planned out for Sky. Basically, he lives to be close to 500 years old by the power of the Triforce. He is the Link throughout the Era of Chaos who banishes the Dark Interlopers to the Twilight Realm and seals the Triforce in the Sacred Realm. He actually seals himself in the Sacred Realm as well to keep the Triforce safe, and he fought Ganondorf in when he broke in. Sky, like Time and Wind, does not get a happy ending.

-Four-

What I love about them: Four is origin of the heroes of Hyrule being known for being children. What a legacy to leave behind. He's such an interesting case of an incarnation of the Hero's Spirit, too. He fought Vaati, and he did his job so well that Demise's next incarnation had to be Ganondorf. Four did his job the best out of everyone, and it came at the cost of creating a magic sword that changed him permanently. I like to think that the Four Sword was not meant to split him, that it was a mistake he made with the design. And it's sad, isn't it? You made a defective sword, and like any good sword, it has a symbolic double edge. It gifted you with so much, and yet he can never be the same again. And his story is never well-remembered because it is overshadowed by the Links who fought the King of Evil. He's does so much, yet his legacy is underappreciated.

What I hate about them: I want to prepare you for this Opinion, because I know it's unpopular. Are you ready? Okay. I don't like the Colors. I'm sorry. I want to like them, but they don't interest me at all. Because they are parts of Four’s personality, they have to be one-note archetypes which does not make for exciting storytelling. I also haven't found a fic yet that has been from Four's POV that did the internal monologue of the Colors in a way that wasn't a pain in the ass to read. Maybe if someone can figure out how to do the Colors in a way that doesn't feel like a drag, I would like them more. But in the end, I think Four himself is more interesting than the Colors.

Favorite Moment/Quote: The fact that he didn't want to touch the Master Sword because he doesn't trust magic swords. That is every I need to know about his opinion on his own adventures.

What I would like to see more focus on: I want more of Four as Four. It's getting harder to find content of Four being his own person first and the Colors second.

What I would like to see less focus on: Four being the Colors first and his own person second. There is something about viewing Four as this cover identity for the Colors that doesn't feel right. There's a balance that needs to be strike between his ability to split, how that affects his every day life, and his own identity of being Four. I think I may have read one fic that hit that sweet spot for me, but still.

Favorite pairing with: Shadow. I'm such a sucker for befriending and falling for the enemy. That is all.

Favorite friendship: Dot! Their friendship is super cute. I like the idea of them being super close when they were younger and struggling to keep the friendship going as they age due to how much their paths in life diverge.

NOTP: This isn't necessarily a Four or an LU problem, but people who ship the Colors together? Bro. C'mon.

Favorite headcanon: I'm torn between two different Four and the Master Sword headcanons. On one hand, Four thinking that the Master Sword is just legend until he meets Sky and everyone else is just a fun idea. He sees the legendary sword for the first time and his mind is blown. On the other hand, I also like my Four with a side of hubris. What if he had the option on his quest to draw the Master Sword himself? What if he could tell that if he did that, the consequences would be terrible. He's not sure what would happen, but he knows it would be terrible. So he decided to make his own sword instead to disastrous results. Wouldn't that be tragic or what?

-Time-

What I love about them: Last winter, I did a two hour powerpoint for my friends about the Legend of Zelda timeline. During that powerpoint, I was rating every iteration of Link. What I said about the Hero of Time then holds true to my thoughts of LU Time now. Time is the original Link, more so than Sky in the lore and Legend/Hyrule in real life. Every other hero is a reflection of him. So the fact that his story is about the loss of childhood and the tragedy of that is incredible, and you can see those themes reflected in every other game. Moreso, he’s the only Link with a confirmed tragic ending. Not only does he end his life unsatisfied, but his adventure is failure on every timeline. In the adult timeline, Hyrule is swallowed by the sea. In the child one, Ganondorf returns again. In the fallen timeline, Hyrule fell. I like the idea since that the games themselves are the legends that are past down about each hero, Hylians have also remembered Time as a tragic figure. Yet, they also remember that the happy moments for his life come from small acts of kindness. Even someone as sad as him finds joy in helping others, even if it’s just to small deeds that will not be heralded as grand heroic quests. It’s beautiful.

What I hate about them: This is more about Mask than Time, but Mask is not an adult in a child’s body. He did not rewind time in Termina enough to be considered mentally an adult. He’s a young teenager at best, and that’s me being generous. He is a child who was forced to be an adult and despite the gods being done with him, he cannot conceive of ever having a childhood again. So he can say all he wants that he’s an adult, but he is not. That’s just what he thinks he is.

Favorite Moment/Quote: Anytime we get a flashback to him being a younger adult is great. I want to see more of his in this his early adulthood.

What I would like to see more focus on: I think I just want more of Time being... not a bad leader, but being an imperfect one. I honestly think he’s only the leader because he’s the oldest and enough of the heroes recognize the title of Hero of Time. But he is not the leader type, and he is struggling to keep it together and has to defer to Twilight and Warriors for help a lot. 

What I would like to see less focus on: I’m not the biggest fan of Dad!Time for any of the Links. He’s not emotionally ready for it. And I think he defaults to treating the boys like adults because that’s how he wanted to be treated when he was their age. 

Favorite pairing with: Malon. He has this great partnership of equal respect with her and it’s just. So good.

Favorite friendship: Linebeck. I know. This exists only in my head. But if these two ever meet, you cannot convince me that they would not get along swimmingly. It would be so good (once Linebeck gets over his crush on Time and stops hitting on him, of course).

NOTP: Child Timeline Zelda. Let me explain: I fully believe in Bi Time supremacy, and when in OoT, he definitely had a crush on Sheik. However, one of the worst parts of rewinding time and being in the child timeline is that Zelda is a completely different person now. They may have been friends in the other timeline, but her life experiences are completely different now. She is not the same person as he once knew. And it’s tragic to know someone as who they could have been, not as they are.

Favorite headcanon: After Termina, Time spent a lot of time with the Nabooru because out of everyone he knew, she’s the only who took him seriously even as a child. She has big older sister energy, and he considers her a part of his family. However, being treated as such made it easier for him to ignore his issues and put off his healing process by a few years.

-Legend-

What I love about them: Veteran of Heroes! What a freaking title. I love that he keeps on finding adventures, and that he keeps hustling. Even if he complains about never getting a break, you can tell that he loves helping others. He loves being on the road, never settling down, and finding adventure after adventure. Honestly, if any of the Links had a calling to be a hero, it’s him. Is he tired? Sure. Is he a little jaded after having saved Hyrule and a bunch of other kingdoms multiple times? Yes. But at the end of the day, he likes being a hero. This is who he is. His complaining is not genuine; he just plays the martyr because, at this point, he’s earned the right to.

What I hate about them: If you can’t tell by now, I have a, uh, different interpretation of Legend from popular canon. Fandom Legend is not right to me. He is unrecognizable. It is hard to write him because I feel like I have to balance what other people think Legend should be versus how I think he is. The people who are big Legend enjoyers probably feel the same way about my version of Warriors, and that’s fine. I’m not going to gel with every character and I don’t expect everyone to gel with how I see characters either. It’s goes both ways, y’know.

Favorite Moment/Quote: I like how subtly he tried to approach the Wolfie problem at first, trying to ask questions and get more proof before confronting Twilight. It’s a good touch.

What I would like to see more focus on: If I had to choose one thing, it’s this one throw away line about him never wanting to settle down. I’m telling you, folks! He likes his lifestyle! And did you see him when he does presenting the origins of the hero? He’s not bitter about being a hero! Legend is moody, but he is not angsty about the whole hero thing. Have fun with him please!

What I would like to see less focus on: If you can’t tell by now, Legend is my least favorite Link. There is a lot I want to see less of, but just to name one thing, it’s the headcanon that Fable is his sister. I live and die by common born Link, and whether he’s a legitimate heir or the royal bastard, I am more than bored with the persistent Prince!Legend content.

Favorite pairing with: Marin. It’s a good tragic story and I like it well enough. She’s cute, and he’s cute with her.

Favorite friendship: Warriors. I’m with everyone else on these two have peak sibling energy. They tease and pick on each other, but only they are allowed to mess with each other. They’re each other’s bully, and it’s always good to see.

NOTP: I do not have enough energy to have a lot of strong opinions about Legend’s romantic relationships, but I will mentioned that I have lost a lot of love for Ravio recently and am liking seeing him with Legend less and less. I have no better reason for this than the fact that I finally played ALBW and hate how many of my hard earned rupees he’s taken from me by withholding important, lifesaving items. Rat bastard.

Favorite headcanon: Remember my headcanon about him being the coolest bad boy folk hero on the block because everyone thinks he kidnapped Zelda? Yeah, I still stand by that one. I did good there.

-Hyrule-

What I love about them: If there is any Link that I would call a gutter rat, it is this one. I struggle a bit to talk about Hyrule since his games gives us so little, but in the end, I always fall back on him being a hero of the people. He is the one who has nothing and relates the best to people who are at their lowest. Yet, he is still a hero. He earns the right to be a hero because he helped Impa in her time of need. He’s selfless and competent. Even if he never got a traditional education, I bet he’s wicked smart too. He is the Link that symbolizes all of the parts of the Triforce the most. And, god. I cannot talk about him without mentioning the blood sacrifice part of LA. It’s such a cool concept, and I cannot imagine what it must be like to go from being the rough and tumble, win-at-all-costs fighting to protecting yourself first because if you don’t, the consequences are disastrous. It’s paradoxical, and it must be such a different mindset to fall into. But it must also be a blessing in disguise since now he has a reason to finally care about himself.

What I hate about them: Who started the Hyrule is innocent headcanon? Come over here because we need to exchange some words. If there is anyone who would be a realist and know how the world works, it’s this guy. And while we’re here, who came up with the Hryule is always lost headcanon? I also have some words for you. And you know what? WHILE WE’RE HERE, who let him be named Hyrule? I’m have more than choice words for you. His name scheme is the bane of my existence and the express reason why I don’t write him more. God.

Favorite Moment/Quote: That one panel where he takes utter delight in Warriors hiding from his scorned lovers? That is a central pillar in my understanding of Hyrule.

What I would like to see more focus on: Again, his relationship with other people. Even if his games are lacking in NPCs, we know from lore that he’s a good guy who will jump in to help others. He must know plenty of people, and I want to see who exists in his world with him. 

What I would like to see less focus on: I have an on-going joke with my brother that certain characters are Catholic, even if Catholicism does not exist in the world of the thing we’re watching or playing. Of course, we’re not being serious. we’re just joshing around. So imagine the gut punch I feel whenever I see people say Hyrule is Christian and realize that they’re being serious. I just can’t take it seriously.

Favorite pairing with: Aurora. It’s cute and I’m a sucker for that hero and royalty dynamic, especially when the hero is a peasant. It’s so cheesy, but I love it.

Favorite friendship: Legend. But not the way everyone else pairs them up as the grumpy one and the sunshine one. I think of it more as them being the pinnacle of boys being boys. They’re shitheads. They do stupid shit together. They both have a dark sense of humor. They joke that they’re practically the same person sometimes.

NOTP: uhhhhhhhhh.... Is he paired with anyone else?

Favorite headcanon: I love the idea that he just likes his way of life and refuses to accept anyone saying otherwise. Legend wants to teach him to read? Sorry, but he’s never had to read before in his life so he’s pretty sure he’ll never need it anyway. Want to participate in the treasured Hylian tradition of piercing your ears when you come of age? Why would he ever do that when a monster could rip those earrings off? He’s stuck in his ways and it frustrates everyone else to no end, but he has no interest in ever changing.

-Wild-

What I love about them: When I was 9, I spent my time online on Legend of Zelda forums. I remember one of my forum friends saying that they wanted a Legend of Zelda game where Link lost. And I think of that friend whenever I think about Wild. BOTW Link is the best Link that has ever been. He is the epitome of every trait we associate with any Link. He’s smart and sassy. He’s hard working and kind. But underlining all of that is the fact that he’s still the one who failed. If Demise’s Curse in SkSw is the set-up, the Great Calamity is the payoff. And I haven’t even talked about how confirming him as being non-verbal before the Calamity does so much for his characterization. I don’t even know where to start or how to articulate it. By game storyline alone, Wild is one of my favorites.

What I hate about them: You guys knew this one was coming, but I’m going to have to say it anyway. Fandom Wild.... not good. I’ve said it for half of these boys so far, but god is it true. I have a way I see Wild that is rarely done in the fandom. Fandom Wild has a lot of the traits I also see in Wild, but to all of the extremes. I will mention one thing in particular as being a pet peeve, and it’s how some people headcanon him as always being nonverbal. I know what they’re trying to do, and I think they’re on to something, but they’re also missing the point of what BOTW Link’s character arc is. I just wish more people would forget fandom and work more off of the games for how to characterize him.

Favorite Moment/Quote: Weirdly enough, my favorite moment is when he got mad at everyone for making fun of his Gerudo outfit, so he dumped Goron Spice in his cooking. It’s encapsulates a part of his character I think a lot of people forget about.

What I would like to see more focus on: I think he has a really complicated relationship with his past. He said himself that his old self felt like a different person, and I think that should be explored a lot more. That idea actually fascinates me so much that instead of CTB, I almost wrote a character study fic about Wild. His emotions are not as simple as feeling guilty about letting his friends die and not preventing the Calamity. His emotions would be so complicated and because I don’t have the time to explore it, someone else needs to do it for me.

What I would like to see less focus on: There is a weird fascination with Wild having memory loss and essentially being like a kid again. And this feels infantilizing to me. It honestly bugs me a lot every time I see it.

Favorite pairing with: I can’t decide between Zelda, Mipha, and Revali. They’re all different dynamics and they’re all good.

Favorite friendship: Paya. I firmly believe that Paya is Wild’s best friend. I am the only one in the world who believes this. But I am also the only one in the world who is correct. 

NOTP: Wild is good with everyone. Good for him!

Favorite headcanon: An essential scene of my Wild character study I will never write is one where his horse dies. He goes into shock and walks back to Kakariko to talk to Impa. But once he goes to her, he breaks down in tears and has an absolute melt down over the horse. And Impa sagely says, “It’s not about the horse, is it?” She’s implying that he’s actually mourning the loss of his friends, Hyrule, his life, everything-- but through his tears, he keeps tell her that she’s wrong. He barely remembers them. He doesn’t know them. He doesn’t have any feelings about them. He just really loved that horse. But Impa refuses to listen to him, just repeating over and over again: “it’s not really about the horse.”

And that’s it! That’s all of my opinions! I know a lot of my opinions are polarizing, but everything I said is in good faith, and I am not trying to diss anyone for how they approach these characters.

I welcome you to send me your Opinions on the Links, even if it’s just to disagree with me. I’m cool with it, and I like knowing what everyone else thinks!

[doctorofmagic]

Hi! Your blog is super cool and I wanted to ask: you have a lovely guide for people to read Stephen's comics, and you've also told us your favourite Wong or Clea or other stories. But, I also see like all of us there were stories you disliked or thought was badly written: will you ever consider making a list of comics to avoid if someone loves Stephen, or maybe just list some stuff you hated off the top of your head if that's too much work?

Hello!! Thank you so much for your kind words!

Oh my Vshanti, that's actually an excellent idea! I do have tons of stories I do not like and, while this is obviously my perspective and opinions, people can always feel free to read them or not.

Stephen has a relative consistency but sometimes, just sometimes, the stories are really really really bad. I'll make a list stating the reasons for sure!

1 - Doctor Strange v2 - Master of the Mystic Arts #50-53

Although I'm always eager to read stories in which Nightmare looks for Stephen's help, this one here is... not good enough. First, because of Morgana Blessing. I've made some posts on her and why I have many reasons to dislike her, but in here, it gets to the point of past lives and I dunno, it feels problematic to say the least... Also this is the reason why Clea left (and v2 overall is basically Clea feeling insecure about her powers and her relationship with Stephen, which is boring and uninteresting). The next issue (#54) will show how Stephen is dependent on Clea, and it's a good chapter, but I'd skip the ones with Morgana.

2 - Strange Tales v2

Yes. The whole run. The last issues of Doctor Strange v2 are bad enough due to the way Stephen's downfall towards dark magic is portrayed, but Strange Tales v2 takes the cake. He "kills" a man, he lies to Victoria and steals her powers, he becomes Kaluu's apprentice, he loses an eye (?) and becomes a diva (?) god, then he dies and is resurrected. I don't mind Stephen falling into a darker path, but only when it's well-written (as in, Hickman's New Avengers). This is not it.

3 - Doctor Strange - Sorcerer Supreme #60-90

It's the 90's. But I have far more reasons to dislike these stories. The moment Salomé strikes is the moment everything good about the lore so far goes down like a lead balloon. Imei is killed off (and later used as a tool to put Wong against Stephen), Clea leaves to lead the rebellion, Stephen’s self is split into three and lastly, the story I hate the most, Mordo gaslighting Stephen since he was just a kid, which leads him to consume alcohol (something that I’ll gladly ignore, especially in current runs).

4 - Uncanny Origins #12

This is the only, and I repeat, ONLY story in Stephen’s entire chronology in which Eugene is portrayed as an abusive father. And I don’t agree with that because what leads Stephen to become a cold man is Donna’s death. Eugene hardly appears in stories so it’s kinda odd to read that he was a terrible father, especially when Stephen talks to his family’s "ghosts” about how much he misses them and Eugene is there as well.

5 - Witches #1-4

I just dislike Stephen’s patronizing and arrogant portrayal in this, especially towards Topaz and Jennifer. It feels almost as if he was sexist.

6 - Avengers v1 #502-503; House of M #1-8

We can just all agree that HoM is a bad portrayal for 1) women; 2) WOC and 3) women struggling with mental health. I’ve talked about this before so I’m just summing it all up. Besides, Stephens lack of empathy while a doctor is just... yikes.

7 - X-Statix Presents - Deadgirl #1-5

This book isn’t bad for Stephen but it is really problematic in some senses (as in, a sexist black man falling in love with a racist white woman :S), not to mention TAO being used as a villain here. It’s not entirely canon (but it also it is because Deadgirl is working at Strange Academy so Idk). Anyways, pass.

8 - Fearless Defenders #9

You’d just know I’d add this story. It’s just bad and it pretty much ruins Stephen’s character by portraying him as a cheater and generally a sexist piece of garbage. It’s not only Stephen, tho. Cullen Bunn did that to all men involved with the female protagonists ew.

9 - Doctor Strange v5 #1-20

The reasons are all listed on my pinned post.

10 - Empyre - X-Men #1; #4

I really hate how Stephen was portrayed here, especially when it comes to his relationship with Wanda.

11 - Strange Academy

I’m just so done with this book. I don’t even have the strength anymore to explain why it’s so bad. I’m tired.

12 - Captain Marvel v10 #27-30

I really like Stranvers but the way Stephen was used as a fling only for Carol to rekindle her relationship with Rhodes was disgusting, not to mention how they ended up in bad terms. BIG YIKES. Plus the blatant BAIT on the covers.

EDIT

I forgot Defenders v4 as a whole, so you see how much I appreciate it *sarcasm*

13 - Defenders v4

Everything but the art sucks in this book, from Stephen’s portrayal to the story itself. Don’t waste your time (and that comes from someone who loves Norrin and Stephen interacting!!)

(dis)honorable mention: Death of Doctor Strange - Bloodstone. Stephen doesn’t appear but it’s just bad for him. Really bad.

Aaaaand this is basically the stories I dislike the most. I’ll certainly add more in the future, but let’s hope it’s not a habit /rip

[calaofnoldor]

What’s Mine

Characters: Sam x F!Reader, Dean

Words: 7,595

Summary: The secret you and Sam are hiding from Dean is threatened by your inability to keep your hands off each other.

Warnings: 18+ no actual smut but plenty of implied smut, pre-smut, and smut adjacency lol, secret dating, enemies to lovers, jealousy and possessiveness (exhibited by both sam and reader), slight obsession with sam’s big ass hands (i blame this largely on @walkerboy290​‘s glorious hand porn gif sets), and language

A/N: inspired by and written for @thinkinghardhardlythinking​ bc she’s been bugging me to write smut and using her birthday as a bargaining chip, so i hope you’re happy sai. happy (belated) birthday babe! i suppose in my subconscious need to truly honor you, this became the longest one shot i’ve ever written... that and this is now also a little birthday gesture for the brilliant and beautiful @sams-sass​​ (damn your close birthdays!) even though she never asked for smut (if you hate it, i’ll write you something else!) happy birthday to you too, darling!

also written for @superbadassnatural​‘s 333 badass followers celebration with the prompt “___ and I are together.” “Yeah, right, and I’m Santa.” and @writethelifeyouwant​‘s 300 follower fic challenge with the prompt “All the pretty girls like Samuel” (both prompts are bolded in the fic) i’m sorry i’m so late! congratulations to both of you and thanks for letting me enter your challenges!

[basically i have a lot of people to blame for this disaster 😂]

Square Filled: Secret Dating for @spnfluffbingo​ and Enemies to Lovers for @girl-next-door-writes​ Make Me Feel Bingo

MASTERLIST

The waffles on your plate are surprisingly good for a sketchy, 50’s-themed diner, but unfortunately your attention is elsewhere. In fact, the two distinctly masculine voices behind you have been obnoxiously impairing your ability to savor the buttery, syrup-doused carbs since their owners sat down in the adjoining booth. It’s the topic of their discussion that disturbs you, and nips at your conscience until you realize you can no longer take off without imparting a few words to your oblivious colleagues.

Turning your head subtly to the side, you try to catch a glimpse of the men you’re about to confront in your peripheral vision. From what you can see, they’re both rather burly, a little rough around the edges, and from what you’ve heard, recklessly cocksure. You know the type all too well. Being a lone hunter of the fairer sex for most of your life means you’ve long since learned that the best way to combat their kind is with a steadfast façade of thick skin and unwavering confidence.

So you sigh and put on your best smile before turning around, crossing your forearms along the top of the booth seat, “Listen fellas, I hate to interrupt, but I really wouldn’t bother with the bamboo dagger and Shinto priest if I were you.”

“And who the hell are you?” the one with shorter hair demands. He’s a bit stockier than his companion and has a face that looks like it was designed by Abercrombie and Fitch - well that explains the arrogance.

“I’m the person who’s about to save your asses evidently,” you respond with a smug grin, trying not to let their absurdly good looks deter your act.

Abercrombie’s partner, the Fabio wannabe, releases a quiet scoff, “And how are you gonna do that?” he questions dubiously.

“By letting you in on a little secret…” Throwing him a tight smile, you lean forward and lower your voice, “That ōkami you’re after? It’s not an ōkami, it’s a ghoul.” Sitting back, you await the outrage.

“What?! But that’s not possible, I checked the lore. And it’s obviously got a type.” Fabio’s glossy chestnut locks fall across his delicate features as he shakes his head in disbelief, and you almost snort out loud. How did this amateur expect to hunt with hair like that?

You look him over, taking in the broad shoulders and muscled arms, as well as the obvious height advantage he’s got over Abercrombie even whilst they’re both seated. To be honest, you’re surprised he’s referencing lore at all. Guys his size always assume they can either outman or outgun whatever obstacles cross their path, and they almost never take women like you seriously, despite your ample years of acquired knowledge and invaluable experience. It’s this experience that surmises a bit of antagonism here is inevitable, so you might as well get a head start.

“Yeah well maybe you should check again, big guy,” you glance down at his hands, your first mistake as their sheer size render you speechless and subsequently agitated at yourself for the momentary lapse of visceral lust, but the show must go on, “Make sure those giant, lumbering hands of yours don’t fumble over anything important or you might miss the connection to Isabelle Harding. You see it’s not ‘a type’; it’s revenge.”

“Wh- Bu- I looked through the files. I wouldn’t have missed that,” Fabio insists.

“Oh yeah? Why don’t you type ‘Isabelle Harding’ and ‘1987 school bombing’ into your search bar and see what comes up?” you gesture towards the laptop on their table with a raised brow. Minutes later, both men are dumbfounded by the revelation on the screen, staring between it and you with their mouths agape.  

You chuckle silently at their faces, “Don’t worry, there’s no need to thank me. Although you rookies might wanna go home and let the more experienced hunter finish up here.” As you’re about to bid them farewell, you dip back in to add, “Oh and a word of free advice, maybe don’t discuss supernatural monsters quite so loudly in public spaces next time. It might invite unwanted attention.”

With that, you turn around and slap some cash down next to your unfinished waffles, before grabbing your jacket and strutting out the door.

Sam is left in utter confusion. The sudden animosity you had spouted his way seems completely baseless and unwarranted. Had he somehow offended you? Sam generally considers himself a highly respectful and fairly easy-going guy, not quite as hot-blooded as his brother, and thus not as likely to provoke such antipathy from a complete stranger. To make matters worse, he certainly can’t deny that something about you had registered within his subconscious as inexplicably attractive, despite the way you’d embarrassed him. In his flustered and slightly aroused state, it had been all he could do to remain awestruck in his seat and stare blatantly at your ass as you walked away.

The next time Sam sees you is only twelve hours later and no less humiliating. You’re mid-swing in the killing blow against what you had accurately predicted to be a ghoul as he and Dean tumble in. Despite the low lighting, Sam is once again stupefied by your raging beauty, augmented by the incredible skill you’re displaying in a much more physical sense this time around. Before he can drag his eyes away, there’s a collective shout of “watch out!” and suddenly you’re right in front of him. In a blur of events, you somehow manage to push Sam out of the way and successfully decapitate the unexpected second ghoul that had been sneaking up behind him, with only a slice across the arm to show for it.

“Didn’t I tell you two to go home?” You’re panting from the exertion and Sam’s gaze lands on the neckline of your shirt, skewed from the fight and revealing a good amount of cleavage. He quickly averts his eyes. What is happening? Sam can’t remember the last time anyone had evoked such a staggering reaction from him. He feels as if he’s a mere spectator in his own body.

Across from him, you press your hand against the wound and curse when it comes back covered in blood. At your groan of pain, Sam finally finds his voice again, “Shit. I’m so sorry! I don’t know how I missed that other one. I- that normally doesn’t happen.”

“Yeah, I bet that’s what you say to all the girls, huh?” you reply offhand, still a bit out of breath.

It’s easy for Sam to dismiss your mocking given that he feels terribly guilty for being the cause of your injury. From where he’s standing, the cut looks deep. “Here, at least let me stitch it up for you. It’s too awkward a position for you to do it yourself,” he offers, holding out his ginormous hands to you like he’s waving a white flag.

“I think you’ve done enough damage for one day, haven’t you, big guy? At this point, I’d rather Abercrombie over there be the one behind the needle.”

“Who- what?” are the first words Dean speaks since the action has died down.

You turn to face the shorter guy, “Oh don’t look so surprised. You might as well be the model for a slightly older Ken doll. Are you up for it or not?”

Dean’s mouth hangs open as he tries to determine whether he should feel flattered or insulted.

“Uh- actually, I’m better at stitches than my brother,” Sam butts in.

“With those jumbo, fumbling hands? Yeah, sure you are, big guy,” you decline skeptically.

“It’s Sam,” he states through a clenched jaw.

“OK, Sam. Since I just saved your life, you mind making yourself useful and burning those bodies while your bro puts my arm back together? You know, as a ‘thank you’ perhaps?”

Sam is stunned for the third time that day. No one has ever belittled him (whilst gratuitously attacking his size) insofar without any apparent reason. It seems as though his very existence upsets you and the arbitrariness of your contempt has caused an anger to stir beneath him, but beyond that lies bewilderment and irritation. How had he managed to accomplish two such massive mistakes in front of you in the span of so short a time? Perturbed and bitter, Sam silently sets to work on the bodies.

Meanwhile, you’ve come to a surprising realization as Dean begins to cut the fabric of your flannel away from your damaged arm, the name ‘Sam’ and the words ‘my brother’ resounding in your head, “Wait a second- there’s no way… you’re not… the Winchesters, are you? Sam and… Dean?”

“The one and only, sweetheart.” He sends you a dazzling smile that is as perfect as you’d expect, but within his eyes is an underlying poignancy that you recognize as clear as day: an indication of a traumatic past and a lifetime spent plastering on tough veneers. You notice as well how gentle his touch is and how his stitches are practiced and prudent. Perhaps you had judged him too hastily.

Through an incredulous chuckle, you retort, “Well I can’t say I didn’t expect more from you, but at least this’ll get me a free round of drinks at the hunters’ pub tonight.”

Dean laughs with you before sobering at the thought of how his baby brother must be feeling, “Hey listen, take it easy on Sammy, alright? I don’t know what’s gotten into him today but he’s not usually like this. He’s actually the smart one, believe it or not.”

Scoffing, you can’t help but smile back at Dean and soon find an easy rhythm with the older Winchester, despite your awkward introduction.

From several yards away, however, Sam looks wistfully back to see you smiling lightheartedly at something Dean’s said, the two of you huddled in close proximity as his brother’s hands drift across your bare skin. Something akin to envy bubbles within his chest although he’s aware it makes no sense, so with a frown, Sam does his best to shake it off and get back to work.

But it’s not easy to forget you. And just as Sam is beginning to think he’s rid that awful day from his memory, you pop back into his life three months down the line.

“Well, if it isn’t the overgrown hunter extraordinaire Sammy Winchester.” The sarcasm that oozes from your otherwise beguiling voice has him gritting his teeth in no time.

“It’s Sam.”

“So you here to mess up my hunt again, Sam?”

Although he wishes he could have been the bigger man instead of surrendering to the resentment you roused within him, after a couple repeated hatchet burying attempts fall through, Sam just can’t resist the little game you’ve started.

Over the next few months, you and Dean form a fortuitously close bond and the older Winchester develops a habit of calling you up when faced with a troublesome hunt, and vice versa. Despite Sam’s fabricated displeasure, a show he puts on mostly for Dean (since any other emotion would seem illogical given the way you treat him), Sam is peculiarly and begrudgingly excited to see you every time. But the match never ends. In fact, Sam lets it intensify each time you work together, always astounded by how you manage to get him so worked up.

“I’m telling you, it’s a rugaru!”

“Right, because the last time we listened to you, things worked out so well,” you remark sardonically.

“The lore says-“

“Ooh, quoting the lore again now are we, Mr. Know It All?”

At this point, Sam is about as huffy and puffy as the big bad wolf and if he were a cartoon character, there’d surely be steam erupting from his ears. “Look, Y/N, this isn’t about who knows more or who’s right; this is about saving those people’s lives!”

“You think I don’t know that? Was I not the one who saved your life the first time we met?”

“OK, alright, just shut up you two!” Dean finally shouts above you, “Would it kill you to just get along for two seconds?”

“No,” Sam admits.

“Probably,” you say at the same time, causing Sam to shoot you his overly perfected bitch face.

SIX MONTHS LATER

“What the fuck?!” Dean’s booming voice echoes throughout the bunker and moments later you and Sam come flying into the kitchen to answer his call, guns at the ready.

“What? What is it?” you ask while Sam scans the room.

A whimper is the only the way to describe the sound of Dean’s reply, as he points toward an unseen object on the floor. Edging toward him, you lower your gun in the direction of his finger until you discover the source of Dean’s distress.

With a sigh, you look toward Sam who is also exhaling in relief at the sight of the entity in question. The two of you share a moment of wordless conversation before simultaneously dropping your guns with a conclusive nod.

“Why does this feel like déjà vu?” Dean’s tone is still timid and appalled, and you nearly laugh at the idea of a grown-ass man looking so aghast because of a used condom.

“Because it kinda is…” you supply unhelpfully, earning yourself a small glare from the man beside you.

“Dean,” Sam begins with a deep breath, “There’s something we have to tell you… Y/N and I are together.”

The snort that escapes Dean is full-bodied and borderline psychotic, “Yeah, right, and I’m Santa!”

You wait till his snickering subsides, “No, it- it’s true.” Your voice is hesitant yet hopeful, “We’re not joking. We’ve kinda become… a thing.”

“A thing?”

“Yeah, well you know, I don’t wanna have to put a label on it or-“

“Y/N’s my girlfriend,” Sam declares with conviction as he reaches out to curl his long fingers around your waist and lasso you towards him.

“-Buuuut, that is the one I’d use if anyone asks,” you quickly affirm with a stiff pat to your boyfriend’s abdomen, wincing at the unversed attempt of PDA and missing the dimpled grin that crosses Sam’s amused features.

“Well, I don’t buy it. I don’t believe either of you.” Dean’s sturgeon face comes on strong as he shakes his head and points a challenging finger at you, “Kiss him, right now,” he dares with perked brows.

The eye roll you respond with is so dramatic your entire head moves with it. But then, without a moment of pause, you turn your body into Sam’s, reach up to grab the back of his neck and pull him down for a searing kiss. Now this is something you’re well-versed in. The reunion of your lips starts off relatively slow, but it doesn’t take long to escalate into something more fiery that involves tongue, the eager push and pull movements of your bodies, and Sam’s enormous hands cradling your head.

After a moment of shock, Dean objects, “Alright, alright, I get it! That’s enough of that!”

Unwilling to recede just yet, you linger in the kiss for a little longer, delaying your separation by nibbling down on Sam’s lower lip and tugging gently, only releasing it as you pull away torturously slow. When the two of you finally open your languid eyes, it’s to stare into each other’s dilated pupils and ponder the moment for an indiscernible minute.

“What th- I said, I get it! Now could please stop ogling each other before my lunch comes back out the wrong way?!”

But the way Sam’s smiling at you is addictive and you can’t bring yourself to look away until he forces a break by leaning in to plant a tender kiss upon your forehead before tucking you into his side as he faces his brother again.

Dean’s face is covered by his hand, “I’m gonna need a minute. I just-“ His features leap through a range of expressions as he tries to find the right words, “When the hell did this start anyway? I thought you two couldn’t stand each other?”

“Yeahhh, that was mostly an act. Although we bought it at first too,” you explain with a shrug.

“We weren’t pretending the whole time. It just kind of happened and we didn’t really know how else to act around each other by then,” Sam adds.

“Right, basically it turns out there’s a fine line between love and hate... and that line is hardcore yearning.” Your words bring a chuckle to Sam’s lips but his brother still looks out of sorts.

Shaking his head with closed eyes, Dean sighs, “Alright, can someone just explain to me exactly how this happened, because I’m still not computing here. But spare me the details and try to keep it PG-13,” he emphasizes with adamant hand gestures.

“How do you know it’s not PG-13?” you inquire with a held-back laugh.

“Ha. With the way you two were playing tonsil hockey just now, I can tell you’ve been around the bend way more than I wanna know. My little brother doesn’t kiss like that on the first date.”

It’s impossible to hold back a giggle at the memory of your ‘first date’ and the way Sam had kissed you, “OK well, that would be hard, considering the story involves a lot of sex... You wanna give it a go, big guy?” you pass the ball over to Sam with a quirked brow and lowered voice, to which he responds with narrowed eyes and pursed lips, a little warning glance that you’re well aware means ‘save it for the bedroom’ but you simply smirk up at him.  

‘Big guy’ used to be a term you called Sam in contempt, but when the feelings between you evolved and a sexual relationship developed, it became an innuendo, such that calling him ‘big guy’ in front of Dean or in public almost always results in glorious sex. In fact, sometimes you believe the nickname has held a slightly obscene connotation for you since the beginning.

Afterall, your carnal longing for him has been present from day one, although at the time you had believed it to be purely physical. Sure, you had dreams about having him in various positions in your bed, but you figured those were merely betrayals of your subconscious mind. That was until one day, a heated argument in a rare moment alone had ended up in a violent make out session, after which the two of you had just barely gotten the last of your clothes back on before Dean walked in. One look at your worked up and frenetic states alongside the disordered condition of your surroundings, and he immediately assumed you’d been fighting again (which wasn’t terribly far from the truth), chortling as he asked if you would have killed each other had he returned a bit later.

With a clearing of his throat, Sam begins to recount the tale, “Uh, well it started in that motel in South Carolina, while you were out getting food…”

“Look, all I’m saying is there is no way he’s using the hospital as a dump site! It’s just not feasible!”

With complete disregard for the peace and quiet of the other residents within this thin-walled motel, you and Sam once again find yourselves in a shouting match.

“Oh right, I forgot! You’re Sam Winchester! How could you POSSIBLY be wrong?! Mister ‘look at me, my IQ and LSAT score match my fucking height! Oh and I also happen to have the physique of an Adonis without even owning a gym membership!’” you roar bitterly, gesticulating with your hands to help better communicate your pent-up indignation.

“Right and you’re Y/N Y/L/N, so how could YOU possibly be wrong? Miss ‘look at me, I never went to college but I’m a genius AND I can kick ass! Oh and I also happen to look effortlessly stunning through it all!’” Sam suddenly seems bigger than ever as he towers over you, that panty-soaking deep voice emanating from his diaphragm and infusing itself throughout the entire room until all you can see, hear, and breathe is Sam.

The fury takes over and you don’t notice your feet taking you closer to him, “Oh yeah because you don’t make EVERYTHING you do look so unnecessarily hot and make me wanna rip your clothes off all the damn time!”

“Fuck! And you don’t always drive me crazy when we have these stupid arguments and your chest starts heaving and you look so insanely delectable I just wanna pick you up and fuck you against the closest surface!” By now, the distance between you is essentially nonexistent and your brain is no longer run by reason.

“So why don’t you then?” are your famous last words, prompting Sam to grab you wildly by the back of a thigh, lifting slightly and driving you to climb up him like a spider monkey fleeing from a grounded predator, while his other hand pushes your hair aside to gain better access to your face. Your mouths clash in a fierce battle and before you know it, Sam’s huge hands are cupping your ass as your legs wrap around his waist and you rut into him, hands flying from his shoulders to his hair. Those divine chestnut locks that you’ve always dreamed of running your fingers through. They’re somehow even softer than you imagined and the revelation, in conjunction with the way Sam’s tongue is becoming increasingly aggressive causes a fresh surge of libidinous energy to rocket through you. As a result, you give his silky strands an irresistible tug and drink in the moan he makes, the sinful sound reverberating straight down to your core as you clench around nothing.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Sam groans as he grudgingly forces himself to pull back as much as he can, “Are you sure? Is this what you want? Cause I can’t- Y/N I won’t be able to stop myself if we keep going.” His eyes squeeze shut as if the notion of stopping or the act of keeping his lips away from yours is causing him genuine pain, and the entire gesture moves you.

“Fuck, you really are the opposite of everything I thought you would be,” you make a quick mental note to apologize later for your initially presumptuous behavior although you can’t find it within yourself to feel any remorse right now, “Yes, please Sam, fuck me. I want you so bad… I think I have since we met and I saw those gorgeous hands of yours,” you confess, biting your lip lightly.

Sam breathes out a low incredulous laugh, “What, these?” he asks, removing one of the aforementioned hands away from your butt to bring it into your line of vision.

“Yes, fuck they’re so big and beautiful and strong and-“

“Alright, I don’t need to know about your weird hand fetish!” Dean hollers abruptly, rubbing his fingers across his eyes as if he could somehow erase the image of you and his brother together out of his retinas. “OK, but that was like… four months ago. You mean you’ve been sneaking around behind my back this whole time?”

“Well at first we didn’t want to tell you because we weren’t even sure what it was ourselves,” you divulge.

“Yeah, we didn’t want to try to explain something that we didn’t understand yet,” Sam supplements, hoping his brother will understand the motive behind your secrecy.

You nod along, “But then… it got a little harder to hide.”

The apprehension behind Dean’s emerald eyes is unmistakable as he reluctantly inquires, “That’s why this felt like déjà vu?”

It’s with a grimace that you reply, hesitantly, “Remember the time you found those panties in the backseat of the Impala?”

Dean’s eyes grow comically wide and Sam ducks his head in preparation of what’s to come.

“Yeah, there’s a story behind that…”

The click of her heels against the porcelain-tiled foyer irritates you as the three of you stride through her front door. You’re posing as detectives sent to question this overdressed young woman about her late husband, but the moment she lays her eyes on Sam, you reckon she’s forgotten her beloved’s damn name.

“Oh my… lord and savior. Well aren’t you a tall drink of water?” she beholds breathlessly with a seductive bite of her painted ruby lips.

You cough loudly and Dean sniggers, thinking you’re annoyed about Sam getting such commendation and attention during a serious case.

“I know this might be the grief talking, but I would climb you like a tree,” she purrs, sauntering up to Sam with an exaggerated sway of her hips. With her half-lidded doe eyes adorned with dark, fluttery lashes and low, sultry voice, you have to admit she’s quite attractive.

Grinding your teeth as your nails dig into your palms, you glower at the woman unreservedly. She, however, takes no notice, running her hands along Sam’s forearms before gripping at his bicep to lead him toward her living room. “Please, come have a seat, detective. You can ask me whatever you want.” The wink she appends is somehow the final nail in the coffin.

It’s with zero hesitation that you feign the reception of a notification on your phone before declaring, “Oh would you look at that, the uh… Sheriff needs us back at the station, Sam. He says it’s urgent.” You try to keep your tone even, thankful that you all maintained your real first names for these aliases, “Dean, you’re good to conduct this interview on your own, right?” Without waiting for an answer, you trample over to snatch Sam’s other arm and ignoring the horny widow’s gaping mouth, proceed to haul him away.

Dean sends you a strange look but relents, “Uh, yeah I guess, OK.”

As soon as the door closes behind you, your hand shifts down to lace your fingers with Sam’s, marching him towards the Impala with a staunch and mighty purpose. Even Sam’s elongated legs stumble to keep up.

“So uh… when did you give the Sheriff your number?” There’s an edge in his voice that normally disappears when it’s just the two of you.

“Wha- I didn’t. Sam, I just made all that up,” you tell him as you reach the car and open its back door. Pushing Sam inside, you climb in swiftly after him, wasting no time as you straddle his thighs and begin to undress him, only pausing when he looks up at you in adorable, puppy-like confusion.

“Wait, what? Then what are we doing?”

That’s when it finally dawns on you, “Hold on a sec, were you… jealous?” You can’t help but smile, finding it amusing that he’s stewing in his own envy after what you just witnessed.

“No, I just- He was kinda all over you this morning.”

“You mean like the way Mrs. My-Husband-Just-Died-But-I-Wanna-Climb-You-Like-a-Tree was in there?”

“Oh, that’s what this is about?” Sam perks up, the hint of a smug grin ghosting across his lips.

“She was practically holding your hand!”

“That’s what bothered you the most?” He dips his head to catch your eyes and those variegated irises burn into you with an intense, questioning gaze, alight with mischievous curiosity.

“They’re my hands to hold,” you contend with a pout, subconsciously clenching your thighs around his as you seize one of his large hands with two of your much smaller ones, “Just like you’re my tree to climb.”

Sam’s head falls back in bright laughter, “I thought you said they were ‘oversized’ and ‘ungainly’?” he teases, quoting your previous slights.

“You know I only said that cause Dean was there.”

“I’m pretty sure you called them ‘fumbly’ and ‘lumbering’ the first time we met.”

Staring at his fingers as you play with them, you shiver at the memory of how they feel all over you. “That was cause I used to think all hunters with a Y chromosome were cocky, misogynistic assholes who needed to be knocked down a peg or two.”

“But I proved you wrong, right?”

“Fuck yes you did. So, so wrong. And now you’re mine, and I don’t like seeing other people touch what’s mine,” you growl before returning to your earlier task of removing his clothes, pouncing on him when your fingers finally land on bare skin. You kiss him fiercely, swallowing his surprised grunts with glee, and as his hands start travelling from your hips up to your back, holding you tight against him, your lips move down to his pulse point, sucking, licking, and nibbling, “Mine.”

“Fucking Jesus Christ on a cracker! You goddamn rabbits!” Dean squawks in protest as he begins to pace the floor, “Have you no decency?! And in my poor Baby! While I was busy doing all the work, saving lives!”

You roll your eyes at his melodramatics and can feel the tension in Sam’s abdominal muscles as he attempts to restrain his laughter. As if Dean had never taken a break during a case for a stress-relieving quickie before, or hadn’t been at least somewhat grateful to be left alone with a beautiful woman.

His next comment confirms your point, “Although, if I remember correctly that lady was a fox.” After a brief pondering pause and an introspectively appreciative smirk, Dean’s whining resumes, “But seriously! I can’t believe you two! Here I was feeling bad for forcing you to work and live together, hoping you’d eventually learn to get along when this whole time you were shacking up like animals and casually defiling my Baby just because what? Some girl touched Sam’s hand?!”

Feeling emboldened by the catharsis of this long-overdue airing of your dirty laundry, you decide to add to Dean’s exasperation, “Yeah and in the spirit of honesty, that might’ve happened more than once.” Sam tries to hold back his snort as he gives your hip a playful cautionary squeeze while Dean’s feet come to a full stop as he turns to give you a death glare. “Hey, it’s not my fault all the pretty girls like Samuel! And I’m pretty sure we wiped her down after.”

“I don’t even-“ Dean purses his lips and quirks his head with a dynamic expression of unbearable vexation, “You better be getting me pie every day of the week for what you did.“ He takes a deep breath before circling back, “Wait, OK so you’re telling me that a used condom ended up in our kitchen because- what? You two couldn’t keep it in your pants long enough to find a bed? You know what, forget I asked. I don’t wanna know. Did you at least sanitize the place after?? No, of course you didn’t, you left a fucking condom on the floor… I think I’m gonna throw up.”

But you hardly hear Dean’s rambling because you and Sam are far too wrapped up in each other, smiling as you recall the events of that morning.

Your eyes slowly drift open to find the most exalting sight in all the world: Sam Winchester’s sleeping face, blissful and serene. Lifting a hand to gingerly cup his cheek, the corners of your mouth curl up when he leans into your touch. It’s moments like this that make you wish you could wake up next to him every morning.

Only after you’ve traced his every feature and planted a soft kiss where his dimple would be if he were awake and smiling, do you carefully peel yourself from his side, slipping out of his hold as you quietly climb out of bed. Sam rolls over a bit and you freeze with bated breath, watching as his big arm extends out in your direction as if trying to reach for you in his sleep, before stilling again.

Mornings like this are rare and you want him to soak up all the restful sleep he can. Once you’re sure you haven’t woken him, you scan the room for something to cover your naked figure, until your eyes land on the flannel he’d worn the night before. Picking it up, you bring it to your nose and inhale deeply to revel in the residual scent of Sam. Another glimpse at his peaceful, sleeping form has you smiling fondly. God, you are such a goner for that man. It’s becoming hard to reserve your soft looks toward him for private moments alone.

You can barely remember how it happened, but over time, you’d come to learn that Sam is nothing like you originally imagined him to be. He’s kind-hearted and open-minded, the type of soul that can find hope and beauty in even the darkest of places, a far cry from the shallow macho man silhouette you’d expected him to fill. In fact, Sam routinely defies the expectations others have enforced upon him, proving his worth time and time again as he’s persisted through some of what must be the toughest challenges to ever face a single human. Yet through it all, his spirit remains intact, never once yielding to cynicism or resentment or apathy or even the building of walls as you and Dean have resorted to. He is truly the bravest man you know and infinitely more competent than your first fluke of a hunt with him had mistakenly suggested, both in the field and in bed.

Shaking the thoughts from your head, you wrap yourself in plaid and head out the door. Dean never questions your use of Sam’s shirts because ever since Sam firmly insisted on giving you his flannel after your second encounter with them resulted in Dean cutting your own top apart, you’ve grown into a habit of borrowing Sam’s clothes. You always claim they’re more comfortable than your own and Sam’s feigned annoyance over you ‘stealing’ his belongings tides Dean right over.

Half an hour passes before Sam approaches the bunker kitchen to find you with your back towards the entrance, busy prepping breakfast in nothing but his plaid. He pauses in the doorway to stare at you for a minute, licking his lips with an irrepressible smile. For some, this may seem like a stereotypical morning after, but for a couple of hunters, it feels like a dream come true.

After finally returning to the bunker last night following the completion of a series of successful hunts, you’ve got no solid obligations and very little on your to-do lists today, although Sam’s got more than a few ideas about how to pass the time, and a couple more come to mind when you stretch up on your toes to reach for something, causing the hem of his shirt to glide up until its corner reveals just slightest hint of your incredible ass. Sam can’t suppress his little grunt of approval, which catches your attention and makes you turn your head, peering back at him over your shoulder.

You smirk at the blessed view of him standing there in nothing but the pair of thin grey sweatpants you’d bought him a month ago when you discovered the viral online phenomenon, “Hey, big guy. You just gonna stand there and gawk or do you wanna make yourself useful and grab another plate from the top shelf?”

Chuckling at your false animosity, Sam stalks toward you, “Good morning to you too.” One of his vast hands falls upon your hip as he presses the maximum possible length of his body into your back side, while his other hand reaches up over your head to snatch the plate you’d asked for.

“Good morning indeed,” you concur with a silent gasp when you feel the generous bulge in his pants.

“Oh that’s not morning, baby girl,” Sam husks into your ear, “That’s all you.” His powerful arms slink around you and his lips find their way down the side of your neck, lingering in that tender spot just behind your ear whilst you tilt your head and close your eyes, contentedly surrendering yourself to the moment. “I ever tell you how good you look in my shirts?”

Wiggling your butt back to tease him a bit, you’re pleased with the hiss it elicits. “No, but you made it very clear how bad I look in Dean’s,” you counter playfully.

The man behind you scoffs, “I didn’t say you looked bad; you could never look bad. I just… don’t like seeing you wear his clothes.”

“Oh, I know,” you turn around in his arms, “I just don’t understand how Dean doesn’t know yet. I mean, I think you’ve been very obvious.”

“And you haven’t?”

“I’m not the one who leaves hickeys in very visible places all over your body!”

Sam’s eyes glaze over in lust, an idea clearly forming in his head as he glances down at you. “Dean’s a hot-blooded guy; he needs to know you’re off-limits,” he alleges before attacking your throat with his mouth.

“So why don’t we just tell him?”

Without pausing his efforts, Sam reminds you, “Because you said you thought it was kinda hot, all the sneaking around. Mmpf, and because you said you wanted to see how long it would take him to figure it out.”

You nod while running your fingers through his silken strands and leaning back to give him more purchase, “That’s true. But in my defence, we always have this conversation when we’re doing stuff like this and I can’t think straight when your hands and mouth are on me.”

“Kinda like how I can’t think straight when you’re wearing nothing but my shirt?” His kisses travel down from your neck to your collarbone and shoulder as he slides his loosely buttoned flannel off to one side, “Fuck, you’ve got me so hard.”

Without warning, Sam seizes your waist and hoists you into the air as if gravity were an absolute joke, before plopping you down on the edge of the steel counter, his thumbs digging lightly into your ribcage.

“Sam! This is where we eat!” you protest with a laugh.

“Exactly. Which is why I’m gonna devour you here.” He dives back into your neck, continuing his work on a little pink mark that’s already beginning to form.

“Oh fuck… Wait, what if Dean walks in?” It’s through a great struggle that you manage to push him back an inch.

“He’s got a date with the Impala. He’ll be in the garage all day, trust me.” Sam’s gaze sweeps over your body suggestively, “Now are you gonna let me taste what’s mine?”

With an equally lewd survey of his extensive frame, you reply, “As long as you let me impale myself on what’s mine later.”

His eyes darken and the way he’s looking at you like you’re the only person he’s ever wanted ignites a confidence within you, so in a rather swift motion, you grasp him by the shaft through his sweatpants – the delicious groan he emits at your touch is enough to turn your pussy into a slip and slide – and pull him back towards you until the clothed length of him is resting against your folds and your noses brush, while his hands settle naturally on your thighs.

Shivering, your breath stutters and for an instant you can do nothing but bask in the closeness of him. Sam seems to enjoy it too because he closes his eyes as he rests his forehead against yours with an elated sigh. For the second time today, you marvel at his beauty, whispering a string of gasping kisses along his lower eye socket and exquisite cheekbone, simply dying to breathe him in. All of him is so immaculate and sublime. Each time the two of you reconvene, you want to savor every fucking inch of him, but there are a lot of inches, so the task often overwhelms you. Still, you must try. Locking your ankles behind him, you use your legs to pull him even further into you and the friction makes you lose your mind.

“Fuck, baby girl, you keep that up I’ll be making a mess in my pants,” Sam grunts with his lips upon your cheek.

Your breathless laughter fills the air, thinking of the stain you've undoubtedly already left on his charming grey sweatpants. Nimble as he is, Sam takes advantage of your open mouth and plunges his tongue inside. After so much preamble, the kiss is heavy and full of need. When the pressure of his lips pushes your head back, your hands fly to his wrists for the sake of your balance.

From there, they journey upward across his vascular forearms to his bulging triceps, fondling his massive shoulders before sliding along his traps and up the gorgeous length of his perfect neck, until you finally reach the treasure trove of his impeccable locks. You tangle your fingers into the lush mane and yank, gently but zealously, making Sam growl into your mouth. His voice is the hottest thing you’ve ever heard and the sounds he makes always drive you insane.

Never breaking the kiss, Sam’s colossal moose paws roam up to your back as he slowly lays you down on the counter, his member somehow still notched at your entrance and the new angle rousing a quiet moan from you. When he ultimately pulls away, you pitch forward to chase after his lips, but Sam only grants you a devilish grin and a quick peck to the corner of your mouth before moving down to your jaw and neck. While one palm kneads at your breast through his shirt, the other begins pushing and pulling at fabric to uncover more of your skin for his wandering lips.

“Sam! Augh!” you cry out as your head falls back.

“I got you, baby. I’m all yours. Gonna make you feel so good.” As if to attest his words, he rolls his hips into yours and a needy whimper escapes you. With your fingers still twisted in his hair, Sam leaves no part of you untouched as his mouth travels down your body. But upon reaching your navel, he pauses, those vivid, color-changing eyes peeping up at you to check for any signs of discomfort or objection. Finding none, his thick tongue pokes out to lick a deliriously winding path from your belly button to your exposed clit. Then, pushing down tenderly on the insides of your knees to open you up to him, Sam directs you one last look that is both hungry and reverent, “I still can’t believe this is mine.”

Dean had stopped you halfway through your recollection, but it appears that was still too much for him, “What did I do to deserve this?! I feel like I need to go bathe in holy water for a week.”

You and Sam both open your mouths to respond but Dean cuts you off vehemently, “Ba-da-da-da!” His vocalized outcry is complete with animated gestures featuring an accusing index finger. “OK, before you two tell me another traumatizing story, that’s enough of the who, what, when, where, and how… I just need to know why. I mean, is this- are you- …?”

Sensing the protective wheels turning in his head, you decide to put Dean out his misery, “I’m not just with Sam because he’s an incredible lay if that’s what you’re wondering. We can skip the fatherly ‘what are your intentions’ talk. Yes, Dean, I am in love with your little brother… although ‘little’ is not exactly the word I’d use to describe him.”

“Sammy, could you please control your woman?”

“My woman?” Sam sounds mostly amused but you’re almost certain you can hear a hint of pride in his voice.

“Yeah, I admit I’m surprised I didn’t see it until now. You two are kinda oddly perfect for each other, you know, in a weird, kinky way.”

“To be honest, we’re pretty surprised too. I mean, he doesn’t look it but this guy is kind of territorial,” you quip whilst cocking a thumb in Sam’s direction.

“I don’t need to- Wait a minute, so all those bruises you told me were from hunts?” Dean’s eyebrows soar towards his hairline.

Chewing on your lip, you confirm his hypothesis with a miniscule nod.

“Yeah well that time you saw my back,” Sam chimes in vengefully, casting you a handsome grin full of mischief as he reveals, “that wasn’t a werewolf, that was Y/N.”

With eyes as round as dinner plates, Dean frantically shuts you both down, “OK, that’s it. Torture Dean time is over. I don’t wanna hear any more about your depraved sex lives! Look, I guess I’m happy for you guys, although mostly cause I don’t have to play referee anymore, but I’m gonna need you to follow some ground rules around here. Like rule number one! No sex in public places!” he starts counting with his fingers, “Always put a sock on it when you’re busy! And most importantly, no sex in Baby!”

Your laughter follows Dean as he wearily saunters out of the kitchen, an exhausted expression on his face. Turning to your newly outed boyfriend, you petition excitedly, “Does this mean we can have shower sex now?”

“Not while I’m around!” comes Dean’s snappy answer.

In contrast, Sam gives you the same look he did on that dreamy morning, “Oh trust me baby girl, I’m gonna get you wet somehow.”

“Still within hearing distance! I think I liked it better when you guys were at each other’s throats.”

As you’re giggling, Sam leans down to whisper in your ear, “For the record, I’m in love with you too.” And just like that, you’re tempted to re-enact your previous kitchen escapades.

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