#not sure what im doing but oh well
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mentor
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#gojo satoru#megumi fushiguro#jjk art#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#pulled another allnighter fr Angst's sake cries i havent slept.......but i couldnt help myself i was out all DAY i hadnt drawn all DAY#do u know what that does to a mf i felt all antsy and Wrong#so i cracked an energy drink i think i may have a problem honestly but hey at least u get ur daily dose of megumi angst#remember how i said i considered including gojo in the yuuji/tsumiki/megu squared train piece#well this is me making up fr Not including him there#i ws right his and megumi's relationship deserves its own homage smile :)#anyway @ anon who wanted a gojo/megumi hug.....ik it's not exactly a hug but you can forgive me im sure <3#dare i say it's better than hugs jeremy.....#honestly fr all my gripes w gojo i Did get kind of emo abt this?? but i feel like. the majority of my emotions r on megumi's behalf#also might have been the mukashi mukashi no kyou no boku on repeat that'll also do it#seriously debated putting translated lyrics as the caption but it feels like a copout doing 2 lyric-captions in a row#also i do have some shame. miku lyrics r a bit.#anyway art notes uhhhhh finally got gojo's hair to not look Yuuji#who knew the trick was to make it longer smh maybe sleep deprivation n 10 hours of staring at a screen Does make simple problems hard#oh file name 'proud of you' btw
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Part 1
Wow, I have been putting this off for a while now. I tell myself I can always do it later, but I guess later is now.
For context, this blog is for a school projectâhomework, in other words. Every year, it's mandatory to pick one of the subjects you see in school to do a project on. The project itself varies from subject to subject. But really, there are only two ways to go about this. You either pick math for the project as it raises your math grade, and of course your math grade always needs some raising; or you pick like any lesson other than math because doing the math project is a pretty time-consuming thing and you don't really care that much about your math grade being low, so it's not worth it. For the first two years, I always went with literature. It was easyâjust writing some articles and whatnot. But this year our literature teacher changed, and the new teach told us that if we picked his subject for the project, we would have to visit some museums or something. That would require me to get out of my room and go outside! Ugh, can you imagine? no thanks. What else can I pick? English (as a second language, btw)? sure. and where I am now, blogging (surprise, that's what the project is!). I mean this is what blogging is, right?
Here's the chronological order of ⊠how I acquired my hobbies? I mean what else to talk about? (Spoilers: It's going to be boring.)
Lets start with 5th gradeÂ
I'm somewhat experienced with... uh, what would you call this? journaling? holding a diary? an elaborate self-monologue? with existential crises sprinkled in here and there? I didn't necessarily feel the need to put a label on it. And besides, I started doing it way back in 5th grade, and this habit of mine has evolved quite a bit over the years. The label would have to change eventually, so why bother? If I remember correctly, in 5th grade, I had a tiny notebook and made up my own alphabet to write secret stuff in it. Of course, back then I didn't know any Englishâsure, we saw English as a subject in elementary school, but I didn't really learned much from itâso all the stuff I wrote was in my native language, Turkish, just coded in some alphabet I made up. I never really used a pen to write in my notebook; it was usually just a pencil. As time went on, I started writing stuff to keep me entertained at school when it got boringâand it often didâand so it became a habit. Not much else to say about 5th grade.
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blink and you'll miss it moments around skyhold....
#solavellan#solas#gotta put out some tender stuff to balance the chaos target team leader solas has caused.#look i just need to go feral in the tags for a moment#okay the fucking. what's he call himself? the great adversary of her people's mythology....falls in love w a woman being forced into a role#not unlike his own#i t makes me c r a z y#like at one point he's all ooooh we're elves need to make sure the humans trust us to ensure safety. gives them a castle......#then he's all ''ooh you cant change the way your legend is getting out of hand. might as well accept it''#but he disapproves if you lean into it/call yourself the herald.#he approves of you fighting against the status quo. encourages sera to sow chaos and has a VERY interesting convo w her about power#''what lop of the top?'' ''yes.'' ''well what's that do except make room for a new top to come and fuck it all up?''#at which point he fuckin STUTTERS and is like. oh fuck. you're right. my bad. and then he shuts up in quiet contemplation#he's clearly wrestling w himself. and Ohmygod the felassanstuff.#like the Guilt. the Regret.#haunting that fucking rotunda.#and yet he's so in love w lavellan if they go that route.#like clearly some stuff was missing/fumbled in game. but like#how he fuckin screams for the inquisitor at the well?????!?! OK BOI?!#im just. the dread wolf. great adversary of the dalish pantheon.#turns out to be some somber grim guy with a fatalistic sense of humor who hates tea and greatly values free will#pina art
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cats attending a yacht party as if they werent at booze garden at 1am the same day is so incredibly-
also matthew MATTHEW THAT SHIRT. THAT SHIRTTTTT. WHAT IS THAT.
6.29.24 (x)
#matthew tkachuk#sam bennett#aaron ekblad#anton lundell#florida panthers#the fun game of spot the cat#im pretty sure thats stenny mikksy forsy and lundy in the water and please dont ask me how i can tell those pixels apart#it looks like theres also a stolie and uvis on the yacht as well#also ever since we've won the cup i think benny has forgotten what a shirt is#stolie does like that teal little boardshort huh#these men make a lot of money and they use it for. making bad shirts.#blessed be the eyes that see ekky shirtless#BLESSED BE THE EYES THAT SEE STENNY SHIRTLESS#theyre just having a fun little yacht party oh girls just wanna fun splish splashing in the bay#on another episode of lets cross intercounty lines#i think its funny tracking how much time they spend in transportation personally#like everywhere they go IF they go by car is always usually 45 minutes because they keep going from broward to dade to broward again to dade#girl i could never but ig when you're promised drinks youll do anything eh
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so I finished side order recently
#splatoon#pearl houzuki#agent 8#marina ida#acht mizuta#my stuff#inktober piece 2 :)#shoutout to my brother who reminded me i could replay the credits whenever because i had to get some extra refs for eight's model#and saved me from having to slog up the tower again#now if only splatoon could do that for every cutscene eh. please#i want to relive a lot of cutscenes and youre killing me for it splatoon#anyway did you know splatoon's official art has. well it wildly varies from piece to piece#they all follow like a very loose guidelines but also they all split off into their own things half the time#me with seven tabs of art trying to figure out if i want to do lines to separate pearl's fingers: so this one has lines but this one doesnt#'this one isnt relevant to this issue all fingers are splayed'#so in the end i just did whatever i wanted. i think that's a core tenet of art. do whatever you want. forever#also spent an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out what was etched into marina's headphones#im 98% sure it is the off the hook logo. but nothing save from booting up splatoon and checking myself would say for sure#and i didnt wanna boot up splatoon cause if i did then id inevitably be down a couple hours because 'oh well im here already. one run maybe'#but regardless!! im proud of how this came out even if i was supposed to have finished two days ago to keep with my schedule#especially the bg :) i think i did really good on that.#and eight's little smile i think thats the charm point of the whole piece and it took me about ten drafts to get it properly#i think i did good on that too.#im so enamored with splatoon rn help
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these made me have a mental breakdown at 3 am tbh
#I DONT EVEN THINK I NEED TO SAY WHAT IM THINKING ABOUT THESE#THE TOP TWO ARE JUST SSDOSJFLKFJ;DKOPBJWP#YEAH YEAH OKAY OKAY OKAY NORMAL BEHAVIOR#like instead of just waiting he puts his hands on sebs hip and lower back???? okay????????????#perfectly normal work place behavior imo! (sure sure sure.....)#such a tender soft touch...its okay fernando if youre gonna touch him in the first place you might as well grab him#i love looking at clips thru a shipper's lense bcs every little thing just causes horrific derangement#AND OH YEAH THE HELMET CARESS!!!!!!!!!! OKAY SEBBBBBB!!!!#this one's for C LOL bcs my god we are both losing it#just i cannot put into words my exact thoughts except LOOK AT HIS HANDS OKAY!!!!!!#vettonso#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#f1#formula 1#2011 british gp#2011 is my comfort season okay?? im not worried abt spoilers bcs theres not rly a championship fight. its just good vibes#we do a little bit of f1
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you do it to yourself, you do / and thatâs what really hurts
#rick and morty#rick sanchez#artsbotz#lol cry harder old man !!!!!!!#i have no idea if this looks good i feel like im gonna pass out. hopefully its good LOLLL#link is to my c137 playlist. which im also not sure is good ill have to relisten when i can think straight#used my new brush for this which is nearly exactly the same as my old one. but cooler.#maybe ill explain the playlsist tmrw if i remember. sorry its like so hastag angstcore#i literally only ever make misery playslists. theyre more fun. mayeb one day ill make a fun one#IDK WHY I DREWWWW thsi tbfh actaully idk truly. every time i draw smth im like Why did i do that#i forget what i was trying to convey. oh well#hopefully it makes some senseee. mayeb#ok soooo tired gonna pass oht now snzzzzzz
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Treatise on why No, the doctor just giving the narrator of Fight Club (full name) his requested sleep medication or sending him to therapy would not have Fixed Him
Firstly, saying giving him the insomnia meds wouldâve fixed him ignores the reason he has insomnia in the first place. He is so deeply upset by his place in society that he literally cannot sleep. Drugging him to sleep would not change that. That, of course, is the easy, quick response.
But with regard to therapy? The biggest flaw is that it ignores a central tenet of the book. Part of what tortures the narrator and drives him to invent Tyler is that his feelings about this collective, systemic issue are constantly reduced to a Just Him thing. His seatmates ask what his company is. Heâs the only one upset at the office. He gets weird looks if he says the truth of what he does. People will do anything in their power to pretend he is the issue, as an individual, because it is far scarier to consider the full implications of the systemic issues implied by what he is saying. Everyone treats it as if the issue is him, so he goes insane. He does anything to get someone to say, holy shit, thatâs fucked up, what youâre a part of is wrong. In an attempt to feel any sort of vague sympathy and catharsis, he goes to support groups to pretend to be dying, because then at least people donât habitually blame him for his anguish.Â
Saying therapy would fix him ignores that his problems are not individual. They are collective. Itâs the reason the entire story resonates with people! Something deeply, unignorably wrong with society, where people would rather blame you for bringing it up than try and address it, because it feels impossible. I donât blame people for this, really, because it IS scary. Itâs terrifying to sit and feel like youâve realized thereâs something deeply, deeply wrong, but if you say something, people will get mad at you since itâs so baked into everything around you. Or, even if they agree, itâs easier to deal with the dissonance by pretending itâs individual.
And itâs not like thatâs not the purpose therapy and medications largely serve, anyway. Getting into dangerous territory for this website, but ultimately, the reason the narrator was seeking medication was because itâs a bandaid. A very numbing bandaid. For these very large, dissonance causing problems, therapy does very little. Medications do what they always have, and distract you with numbness or side effects. Itâs a false solution. He is seeking an individualized false solution because he has been browbeaten with the idea that this is an issue with him alone, when it's plainly clear it's not.Â
Don't get me wrong. Obviously he has something wrong with him. But it's a product of his situation. It is a fictional exaggeration of a very real occurrence of mental illness provoked by deep unconscionable dissonance and anguish. There is a clear correlation between what happens and his mental state and his job and how isolated he is.Â
The thing is, even if he were chemically numbed, I do think he wouldâve lost it regardless. Many people on meds find they donât fix things. For reasons Iâll get into, but in this case because even if numbed or distracted, once youâve learned about deep, far reaching corruption in society, itâs very hard to forget. Especially if, in his case, you literally serve as the acting hand of this particular variety. Heâs crawling up the walls.Â
So why do people say this? Well, it's funny I guess. Maybe the first time or whatever. But also, often, they believe it, to a degree. Maybe they've just been told how effective therapy and meds are for mental illness, they believe wholeheartedly in The Disease Model of Mental Illness, maybe they themselves have engaged with either and have considered it successful. Maybe they or someone they know has been 'saved' by such treatments.Â
But in all honesty.... What therapy can help with is mentality, it's how you approach problems. For issues on a smaller scale, not meaning they are easier to deal with my any degree, but ones that are not raw and direct from deep awareness of corruption; these are things that can be worked through if you get lucky and get an actually good therapist who helps build up your resiliency. But when your issue is concrete, something large and inescapable? It's useless. At best it can help you develop coping mechanisms, but there is a limit for that. There is a point where that fails. To develop the ability to handle something like this requires intense development of a comfort with ambiguity and dissonance and being isolated and a firm positioning of your purpose and values and and belief in wonder and all the other shit I ramble about. The things that the narrator lacks, which lead him to taking an ineffectual death knell anarchist self-destruction path. Therapy, where the narrator is, full of the knowledge of braces melted to seats and all the people that have to allow this to happen? It fails.Â
And meds ĂąâŹâ meds are a fucking scam. We know the working mechanism of basically none of them, the serotonin receptor model was made up and paid its way into prominence. We have very little evidence they're any better than placebo, and they come with genuinely horrific side effects. Maybe you got lucky. I did, on some meds. On others? I don't remember 2018. The pharmaceutical industry is also known for rampant medical ghostwriting, and for creating 'off-label' uses for drugs that have gained too many protests in their original use, then creating a cult of use to then have 'grassroots' campaigns for it to be made a label use (ie, legitimize their ghostwritten articles with guided anecdotes).Â
The DSM itself is basically a marketing segregation plot. It's an attempt to legitimize the disease model by isolating subgroups of symptoms to propose individualized treatments for subgroups that are not necessarily all that separate. But if the groups exist, you can prescribe more and different medications, no? Not to mention, if you use the disease model, you can propose that these diseases are permanent, or permanent until treated, considered more and more severe to offset and justify the horrific side effects of the medications. Do you know why male birth control doesn't really exist? Same reason. They can justify all the horrible side effects for women, because the other option is pregnancy. For men, it's nothing.Â
And they're not bothering to invent new drugs without side effects. When they invent new drugs it's just because the last one got too bad of a name, or they can enter a new market. Modern drugs don't work any better than gen1 drugs. They still have horrific side effects. At best, the industry will shit out studies saying the old one was flawed (truth) so they can say this new gen will be better (lie). They're doing it with ssris right now.Â
Fundamentally, the single proposed benefit of any of these drugs is that they numb you. To whatever is torturing you. It's harder to be depressed if you can't feel it, or if you just can't muster the same outrage. Of course, there is people who find that numbness to be helpful, or worth it. But often, it's stasis. For the people who have problems that can be worked on, it serves as a stopgap to not actually work on said problems. The natural outcome of the disease model is stagnation for those whose need is to develop skills and resiliency. It keeps them medicalized and dependent on the idea that they're diseased and incapable. Profitable. Stuck in the womb.Â
Iâve been there. Itâs easier, to wallow, and resist growth because itâs difficult and painful and unfair and cruel and you can think of five billion reasons to justify your languishing. But donât listen to anyone who tells you youâre just permanently damaged, no matter how nicely they word it, no identity or novel pathologization, no matter how many benefits they promise, especially if they swear up and down some lovely expensive medications with little solid backing and plentiful off-label usage and side effects thatâll kill you. Some days it feels like they want us all stuck in pods, agoraphobic and addicted to the ads they feed us to isolate the markets for the drugs theyâve trained us to beg them to pump us with. Polarization making it as easy as flashing blue light for go, red like for stop, or vice versa. I worry about the kids, for fucks sake. Thatâs a bit dark and intense, and I apologize. But I want you (generic) to understand, there is a profit motive. Behind everything. And they do not mean well. They do not care about your mental health or your rights or your personhood or your growth. They care about how they can profit off of you.
For those struggling with immovable, society problems, like the narrator grappling with how his job fits into and is accepted by society while his rejection and horror in the face of it does not, it can work about as well as any other drug addiction. Your mileage may vary. From what I've seen, recovering from being on prozac for a long time can be worse than alcohol. They put kids on this shit. They keep campaigning for more. Off label, again. A pharmaceutical companyâs favorite thing to do has to be to spread rumors of someone who knows someone who said an off label use of this drug helps with this little understood condition. Or, in the case of mental illness, questionably defined condition. And like, damn, I know I'm posting on the 'medicalization is my identity' website so no one will like all this and has probably stopped reading by now, but yall should be exposed to at least one person who doubts this stuff. Doesn't just trust it. Because I mean, that's the thing right?
It's so big. What would it mean, for this all to be true? Yeah, everyone says pharmaceutical companies are evil and predatory and ghostwriting, but to think about what that really entails. Coming back to the book, everyone knows the car lobby is huge and puts dangerous vehicles through that kill people. What does it mean if the car companies all hire people to calculate the cost of a recall and the cost of lawsuits? No one wants to think about the scale that means for people allowing it or the systems that have to be geared towards money, not safety like they say. Hell, even Chuck misses the beat and has the narrator threaten his boss with the Department of Transportation. And shit, man, if every company is doing this, you think Transportation doesn't know? That they give a fuck? You're better off mailing all the evidence to the news outlets and hoping they only character assassinate you a little bit as they release the news in a way that says it's all the fault of little workers like you, not the whole system. Something something, David McBride, any whistleblower you feel like, etc.Â
So I don't blame you, if your reaction is "but but but, that can't be right, people wouldn't do it, they wouldn't allow it" or just an overwhelming feeling of dread that pushes you to deny all of this and avoid thinking about it. Just know, that's in the book. That's all the seatmates on the flights. That's all his fellow officemates. It's easier to pretend, I know.
But think about, how the response fits in with the themes of the book. The story, as a movie too. What drives the narratorâs mental breakdown? How would you handle being in his position? How would you handle being his seatmate? Itâs easy to say youâd listen. But have you? Have you had any soul wrenching betrayals of how you thought society worked? How about a betrayal by the thing that promised to be the fix of the first? Can you honestly say you wouldnât follow that gut instinct, saying follow what everyone says, that person must just be crazy, evil, rude, cruel, whatever it is that means you can set what they said aside?
For a lot of people, they can do that, I guess. Set it aside. Reaching that aforementioned state of managing to cope with the dissonance and ambiguity and despair is very hard. The narrator made the Big Realization, but he couldnât cope. He self-destructed. Even when people donât make the big realization consciously, theyâre already self-destructing. Itâs hard to escape it when it feels easier than continuing anyway. When it feels like the only option,
Would therapy fix the narrator of Fight Club? Would meds fix the narrator of Fight Club? No. He knows too much. All meds will do, by the time heâs in the psych ward, is spiritually neuter him. A silly phrase, but really. Take the wind out of his sails.Â
Is he fixed if he doesnât try to blow up town? If he just shuts up and settles in and stops costing money? If he still canât cope with the things heâs unearthed? Do you see how this is a commentary in a commentary in a commentary?
Fight Club is an absolutely fascinating story because of this. The fact that it addresses the fallout of knowing. The isolation. The hopelessness. The spiral that results from a lack of hope. This is, I think, what resonates most with people, even if not consciously. Going insane because youâve discovered something you wish you could unknow. Itâs a classic horror story. Should our society be lovecraftian evil? I donât think so.Â
Do I think changing it will be easy? No. Lord knows a lot exists to push people who make these sorts of Realizations towards feelings of individuality and individualized solutions and denial and other distractions and coping methods. And to prevent people who make One realization from expanding on it and considering further ramifications. Fight Club itself gets into this; the isolation of men being a strict part of the role society shapes for their sex leaves them very vulnerable to death fetishes, in a sense, and generally towards self destructive violence. It helps funnel them away from substantial change and towards ineffectual change. Many things, misogyny, racism, serve to keep people isolated from one another, individualized, angry, and impossible to work with. Market segregation; god knows even appealing on those fronts has become such a classic ploy that companies do it now, the US military frames its plundering that way, etc.Â
Iâve wandered a bit but ultimately, my point is this: Fight Club is a love letter to the horrors of critical thinking, and the importance of not falling into the trap of self destruction and hopelessness in the face of it. The latter is why Tyler was an anarchoterrorist instead of anything useful. The latter is why it was a death cult. Itâs important to work through the horrors of critical thinking so you can do it, and stand on the other side ready to believe in each other. Itâs worth it.
#fight club#my writing#uh. sorta#If you disagree with me it's fine btw. That's a given for me but I realize that's not usual for this website#my big desire is always to provoke thought and get people to think about why they think things#not necessarily to get them to agree with me. though obviously like any person i enjoy that#it was nice to type this out#also#aside from the prozac withdrawals mention and my own experience w memory loss (hilariously not even the most major of my beefs with the#medical industry! or even just the mental health industry! but its an easy nonoffensive one so#anyway i kept it nonspecific because if you go specific it becomes easier for people to just go 'oh well its That that's the problem and i#dont need to reflect at all on my drug/condition/issue/etc'#which ppl will anyway ofc. but yk#maybe theyll find it easier to ignore without the horrific specific examples but i want to leave it broad because 1. doing research and#going past the first thing you find and confirmation bias stuff is good 4 u#second. it's better imo to leave it more open for people to try and apply it broadly#whew ANYWAY#a bonafide Rant#i shouldve put#anti psychiatry#in the first few tags. i havent really looked on tumblr to see what the community 4 that is like on here because it feels like an oxymoron#on this website#but im sure it probably exists even if its used for smth else#(please change)
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and i suck his soul out, live on fucking television, for the world to see.
reminder my commissions are open :D
alt vers under cut ^_^
#my post#my art#blood#gore#cannibalism#the suckening#just roll with it show#jrwi ts#emizel tucker#gabriel montez#bloody rivalry#<-im pretty sure thats their name? idk#the weird lighting in the first one is bcus in my head. i mean obv the whole cullen games took place at night#so i think they had huge spotlights to be able to see what was happening#do vampires have nightvision. idk. oh well
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some Rainy's for your amusement!
(and an updated reference sheet!)
#rainy dewdrop#welcome home oc#welcome home#i think about them a lot#theres a sort of complexity in being âsimpleâ if that makes sense#rainy knows a lot that goes on#but they simply chose to do other things#im not sure if that makes sense#they just live in they moment#theyre not dumb for it. theyre not really âsimpleâ at all#theyre just percieved that way because no one has sat down with them yet and asked them questions about how they feel and think about#certain things#i think thats why i like mavericks and rainys relationship so much#i want to do more with rainy and them communicating their thoughts#not sure what to do with that though#oh well!#bwah!
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You know, when I kept getting asked "so you didn't ever have severe pains before now?" in the hospital and I kept replying "I have a high pain tolerance" I meant it. However, there is only so much pain my tiny 4'9" body can hold... (aka I am sweating and in agony bc I'm getting told to use LESS severe pain meds so I don't rely on them too much and it is AWFUL)
#moe talks a lot#i was shaking earlier and despite the fact i sound like im gonna cry#and the fact that my mom can pick out im about to cry from pain bc im trying to take less pain meds#LIKE MY MOM IS INSTRUCTING ME TO DO#shes like well why arent you taking any pain meds#BECAUSE THERE ARE TWO AVAILABLE OPTIONS AND ON A SIX HOUR TIMER#i cant take both at once or else what happens to me if i hurt before the six hours is up#i have to manage them in a way that allows me to benefit from both and being told im doing it wrong#after being told well its your fault it got so bad because you never complained about pain before#YEAH NO JOKE? REALLY? I NEVER DID? because everyone acts like im too young to feel that kinda pain#oh youre hurting? just wait until youre older#and its currently agony to breathe again but that i guess is also my fault bc im trying to use pain meds#holy moly i just want to not get dizzy standing up cause wow dang#sure would be nice if the multiple incisions in my stomach didnt THROB every time i sneezed or coughed or cleared my throat#but since i didnt use much pain meds before because i would be mocked for being too much of a baby its like#welp damn now i could really use some and im being called out for being too reliant#anyway time to sleep more because that means im not noticing my pain#im literally smaller than most children and so i do understand my body size makes people worried about the medication intake#but can i please just go a day without being asked how much im taking or when i last took it or if im gonna cry#anyway sorry for the excessive rant today never really had surgery or anything so this is brand spankin new suffering
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chirpy, chirpy~ like father like son i suppose
2024-25 Media Day | 9.18.24 (x)(x)
and absolutely delightful that colby kept up the inside joke yeah babey nothing like our beat and our cats opening up preseason hockey by being chirpy
#paul maurice#matthew tkachuk#florida panthers#2425#preseason#absolutely kills me paul came back and immediately chose violence#coach paul maurice is certainly rested and refreshed#his frenemy dynamic with george really kills me everytime#old men at the retirement home squabbling#are they friends? are they enemies? do they still hold a grudge over bingo night last tuesday? who knows!#george going âi tried...â and paul immediately going IT WAS GOOD#this just in paul ran into the canadian wild with no cell service so he didnt have to face george more news at 11#colby droning what matthew told him to say is so funny to me#im not sure when colby decided to part ways with fhn and when he brought it up to matthew#but its terribly adorable the way he went oh well now you HAVE to pay the stanley cup champion maffhew tax#since you can write bad things about me now#the little smile that blossoms on his face when the consequences of his actions flourish#once again he really has our beat trained
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This is where the goth cat belongs.
#dreamling#the feeling when you have a wip of Dream sitting on Hob's lap but didn't finish it yet because there's too much furniture in the background#and instead of finishing that you start another lap sitting sketch but forget that you'll have to add at least one piece of furniture too#so no shading today only the flats because drawing furniture always sucks the life out of me#im sure once i post it I'll see dozen things that I'd like to changexD - as always - but I have to draw the line somewhere. I'm very sleepy#also#her little brother au#the au made me do this xDD#cuubism#magnusbae#(magnusbae you systematically kept feeding me the brainrot so this was bound to happen x'D)#(and I don't know anymore what's canonical to this au and what's not xD)#oh well#just vibin and lovin the two idiots#mayhem art
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click for better quality!
if only / snowkit and speckletail
#my art#do not copy trace or steal#snowkit#speckletail#warriors#warrior cats#waca#wc art#wc#tw blood#< its. minor but id rather be safe than sorry#SQUINTS i hope im getting everything i feel kinda blegh and i just wanna go lay down AHBKJFDBG#HIII I HOPE EVERYONE IS WELL!!!! a lot of good things have been going on and aside from getting sunburnt im doing v well!!#I FOUND THE REFERENCE I USED FOR THIS A FEW DAYS AGO AND I WAS LIKE. OH. OH MY GOD#im gonna be real i havent done a lot of fun art like this in a while x_x BUT NOT THAT ITS BAD#I ALSO JUST HIT 1K FOLLOWERS???? i wanna do something fun and silly but im not sure what to do yet. hurmm#probs a giveaway. ill figure it out by the weekend ^_^
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"Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily."
+ process(tw blood)
Also, look at him, bloody little guy đ„č
This drawing was inspired by several matador pics :D here and here:
^ I don't think I'll ever live up to the second one ah. There's several pics of that specific guy just soaked with blood, and I'm uh a bit obsessed with then ITS FUCKED UP I KNOW OKAY! But I've not drawn blood in a while so it was a bit difficult so I added less than I would want to I guess. Also I'm obsessed with how often they kneel in bullfighting?? Like okay who are you arching your back and spreading your legs for-
#ah not 100% sure abt this one but i think i still like it!!!#i was practicing matador poses during the wknd and im like yeah should prob paint one#and then it felt like all the energy left my body djfkkglg i was like ugh how do i paint again?????#mostly: just really wanted to draw him bloody#i love how every time i draw him in ferrari colors its just the most eye bleeding thing ever#my eyes get too used to it on my ipad's display and im like aw this isnt red enough :(#and then i transfer it to my phone and it feels like the red suddenly is hurting my eyes even worse djfkkglg#im glad the blood turned out well. i honestly think it was probably easier bcs the clothes are red already#but yes yes suffering ferrari nando. hes my comfort character atp đđ#perfect catie drawing: depressed ferrari fernando. blood. napoleon quote#anyways yeah lmk! i think it looks okay?? idk i think i just love the first 2 matador drawings i ever did#and its very hard to live up to them. but whatever. we move on#im glad i did a more complicated pose at least ?????#also god i was somewhat annoyed w his face and then i redrew his eye and it was like OH OKAY suddenly good okay#tw blood#<- i would put this drawing under the cut but like. my blog i do what i want and i want to draw blood#i used to draw bloody stuff a lot more but ah idk less opportunities now sjfkkglg so it was kinda nice#catie.art.#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#matador au
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series of doodles that'll i'll probably make a tag of, maybe later or nah...
haven't posted something on my main, btw these are just quick doots i made cuz i'm bored
bonus wigless bonbon under the cut and no speech bubbles... â
i don't even bother erasing some overlapping but thaT's fine ig... (i made like two versions of these, 1st one is what i draw frequently but i made an alternate hairstyle so i can distinguish him differently as well)
borderless version of the orig:]
#eleonore duplay#charlotte robespierre#augustin robespierre#bonbon robespierre#frev#frevblr#frev shitposting#french revolution#fanart#frev art#anx3's lil frev doots#oh yay a tag now#maybe it's real#antoine with a triple e's art or sumn#i just gave charlotte a phone for no reason lmao#i wonder what theyre talking abt...#might tag leolotte as well but im not suree...#this is like my first time drawing augustin w a wig... đđ lol#i still prefer the wigless version personally but what do you guys think
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