#not sure i want to read the next one!
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i just finished the poppy war...
what the fuck?
#jesus h christ#r f kuang slapped a novel like THIS BAD BOY CAN FIT SO MANY ATROCITIES#SO MANY WAR CRIMES#the poppy war spoilers#for the rest of these tags because. hoo boy#my heart bleeds for every fucking one of these characters but. altan. ye gods.. . altan. that poor boy#honestly? i hope the phoenix doesn't have him. i hope he's free and that's why chaghan couldn't feel him go#i just....#it was so good! i kind of wish i never read it!#not sure i want to read the next one!#🙃
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the thing is. juno & nureyev's relationship has been such a major guiding thread throughout the podcast and the major drive of season 5, and the fandom has built itself so much (as fandoms often do) around shipping the two of them.
and yet nureyev doesn't show up at all in the last episode! or, he does, but it's only implied (for all we know it could be like. alessandra strong)(i know it's not but it would be really funny) and we don't hear his voice.
and it's so important to me that despite the room that their romance has taken in the plot and in our hearts, his absence reinforces that the point of juno steel's story wasn't a lady getting his man, it was about learning to grow as person for himself and for his friends (and not just his love interest), and it was about finding his footing in life and being at peace with himself and his place in the world. and he did! his growth and relative serenity is so apparent and just. a balm to the soul
and the fact that his man is back is just a nice add-on, not a necessity for his happiness
#juno steel#my aro ass has been sitting still and staring at a wall thinking about this ever since listening to this episode#mannnn i'm just. so completely floored about how good this finale was#juno's been all over the place and his growth has been up and down throughout but like.#it's so nice to hear just how. serene he was this episode#he's doing alright guysss#juno steel is fine#he's accepting affection and expressing it back#i Will be reading massive amounts of fanfiction about juno and nureyev'#s reunion when it comes out but i am super happy it wasn't a part of the episode#i was a bit bummed out for sure cos like. hearing his voice is always a good time#but there's a different between what i kinda want to hear and what i actually want out of the episode#and i got allll i wanted outta this one#also i'm super into urban planning (starting a masters in urban governance in september hihi) so the new town description had me 😈 meow#🤌🤌#juno steel spoilers#tpp#tpp spoilers#the penumbra podcast#i am soo excited to find out which mildly unpleasant to outwardly despicable characters the writers will make us love next as they grow#mannnn now im thinking about caroline again#back to staring at a wall bye
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"From triumph to failure is but one step."
+ the usual
I love when I can include paper sketches in the process gif. It's very satisfying to see it progress from a very vague imagining of what was in my head to the finished project.
+ version without text
My favorite sketch was definitely the one where I actually put in words what it's supposed to convey. I wouldn't usually write that down, cause it's all in my head, but it was useful to do so when sending it to other people. I'll go into it more but here it is just as a teaser:
Lmao first of all, I like how I was teasing "Spanish GP" art, but as per usual, it's just thinly veiled au art. IM SORRY, I'M NOT INTERESTED IN MAKING GENERAL POSTERS, THAT'S NO FUN! So instead you will get weirdly relevant matador au art. I like it a lot though, I was really shocked I was able to draw 3 different Fernandos, I mean even drawing one figure takes a lot out of me, but this was weirdly easy?? I think it's just the effect of not being burnt out anymore, and actually being able to draw with more ease makes me feel like a god.
Okay, so the text: "Fight or Flight?" I'll be honest, I don't even remember why I chose it, literally came to me in a vision 😭 But I think it's fitting with the narrative of this piece. Is it better to keep going on, keep fighting, or better to finally give up, and flee? Not that I even remotely think he should give up, but I feel like sometimes I can sense him pondering this very question. That was the big fear before he announced that he re-signed. Keep fighting and maybe, just maybe, you'll get the chance to finally go up against the bull again. Or accept it's an uphill battle and the fighting is going to keep getting more and more strenous, and maybe it's time to put down the sword. SORRY THIS IS SO ANGSTY FOR WHAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE "yayyyy home race!!!" Please forgive me <3
I. Renault
At some point, someone pointed out to me that I had drawn all other iterations of matador Fernando with a sword, except for Renault Fernando, and that ended up feeling very poignant to me. In a bull fighting match, they really only pull out the sword at the last minute to deliver the killing blow. So I think it's important to never draw this Fernando with a sword, because it shows the unfailing confidence and stability he has at that point. He only needs to pull out the sword at the end, as a formality almost, there's no reason for him to keep his guard up at all times.
II. Ferrari
Meanwhile this Fernando, he's considering his sword like he hasn't had to in the past. He's checking the sharpness, making sure in advance he can do what needs to be done. He's on guard, he feels like he needs to keep up his defenses at all times because he doesn't have that same amount of trust and stability anymore. He knows though he will be up against the (red) bull, at least that's never in question. At least there's the assurance he'll get the chance to fight.
III. Aston
Oh, Aston Fernando....He doesn't know whether to take up his sword or finally put it down for the last time. While at least Ferrari Fernando knows he's on constant guard against the bull, this Fernando doesn't even have that assurance anymore. He feels like he can never put down the sword, just in case he gets the chance to strike the killing blow on the bull, which feels like it's growing more and more unlikely.
Spanish flag: ? Lmao this was meant to be something to celebrate Fernando's home race and it turned very introspective whoops. Also got the Napoleon quote in there hahaha, can't escape it!! Shame though there is no French gp anymore, if so I'd probably draw an unhinged thing for it :,(
#woooo yeah totally a spanish gp poster sure sure.....#idk i cant pretend to be relevant. i just wanted to draw matadors bcs it was spain gp wknd#maybe next year ill draw him as the prince of asturias#very proud of the narrative of this though#I do think it's very relavant to the story of his career and his relationship to the spanish gp#see i even downloaded a special font! sdjkglr#also do let me know which is your fav Nando on this poster!!!! <3#even tho the aston nando is lowkey the reason behind this whole poster. im super smitten with renault nando#i wonder which fernando would be 'freeze'#also i swear one day im gonna accidentally stab myself with the big ass sword i use to take ref pics for matador au#HOPE THIS ISNT TOO SAD EVEN THO I KNOW IT IS!!!#i mean it was never really supposed to be triumphant. more just *heavy thoughts*#but the lacklustre results and the fact that i feel like i havent even seen nando that much this wknd fueled the depressing read more#i am not immune to being overly dramatic and angsty </3#hey you never know man maybe this will work as reverse psychology and he'll do well in a couple hours!! we'll see...#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#catie.art.#matador au#2024 spanish gp#fa14
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first dates aren't always perfect 💐🌺🌸
#kagarts#trainer riley#stat trainer riley#champion lance#lance pokemon#fluffyriceshipping#🐉🍚🌊#ohhh their first date;;;; it’s not perfect or grand but it never has to be <3#riley would constantly be making sure lance isn’t annoyed or bothered by it the whole time. meanwhile lance is just internally :D#years of experience being patient with dragons and kids I think lance would be a lot more relaxed about it#riley arrives late to the date super disheveled bc he had a whole schedule planned in his head and wants to blow up 💥 (its the autism)#I think riley can catch one last kiss on him around the end of the date though. lance adjusting to physical touch/affection Gets to him#he doesn’t want to read Too into his thoughts with aura bc he cares about boundaries but lance’s thoughts were Loud and just as frantic#and in a way it reassures him that his feelings are genuine and validated and most importantly Reciprocated just as much#I think being able to fall in love in your thirties is so swag honestly. I like emphasizing that fact whenever possible#or being able to love as genuinely as a young couple would;;; it gives me a sense of hope that there’s stuff to look forward to :]#i spent SO long on the comic part though. i haven't done actual comicky stuff in forever so i hope this is a sign of improvement#anyways. does anyone want to see their fankid next
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12/APR/20XX
i think that was my goal.
remember? the one i was mentionin' about twenty nine pages ago? i'd said something like...
"and when i achieve it?"
"...guess i'll finally close this book for good."
so, i'll count that to be my goal.
therapist agrees, so you can't get on me about that.
sharing inner thoughts was never something i'm great at. so much so that you might've forgotten that's what this was for.
can you believe that? s'posed to be a thought journal. daily mental-state evaluation.
ended up talking about my friends instead.
wasn't for me, i suppose.
...after some amount of pages, huh? geez.
[This calls attention to the fact that the book is much thicker than it was when it started. Seems instead of switching to another one, his journal just... gained pages.]
point is.
seems to me like a good place to stop things at.
i'll give you a final update, and we'll call it. alright?
——
breaking the news went as smoothly as if we'd entered the room and broke a vase on the floor instead. (undyne about did just that.)
the second calamity was when mettaton and my bro show up kinda late
holding hands.
turns out my bro is much more decisive than i am.
apparently it was mettaton first, then paps who decided after a few serious dates.
congrats to 'em.
been deflecting questions best i can all day from the announcements, so i was thankful my bro showing up like that took enough of the heat off me n' tori.
i...
can't stop smiling.
well- alright, that's a given.
but i mean this doofy grin i haven't kept up this long in ages.
i'm not even trying for this one.
all this talk about relationships, i think undyne's gotten excited. talking about marriage and all that. alphys has gone beet red.
grillby and the bar gave me a hell of a lot of pats on the back. i'd be bruised if i weren't bones.
if it wasn't that which would've bruised me, it definitely would have been the punch flowey gave me. the comment that earned me it?
"so..."
"this makes me your dad, right?"
he didn't take it well.
despite the petal-haver's apparent hatred... i think he's secretly glad that toriel's happy.
my bro sure took the news well.
granted, since he already thought me and her were dating, he just was happy for the public announcement.
"WAIT."
"DOES THIS MAKE ME AN UNCLE?!?"
"Are we gonna get another sibling??"
"WAIT, are we gonna get a SKELE-sibling?!?"
"whoa, slow down-"
"Frisk, NO??"
"Do not encourage this BONEHEAD to-"
"I think that is quite enough."
tori puts her foot down on that conversation.
living situations shouldn't change much for now, but maybe we'll figure out something else in the future. (staying with my bro. don't panic.)
concerns about my health have slowed down, as i've gotten more used to daily magic usage. noticed way less bad days recently, right? papyrus still insists on teaching me to use attacks better, so i've got that to look forward to. there might still be ups n' downs health-wise, but i'm confident in getting through 'em now.
paps is noticeably still somewhat anxious about it, fidgeting whenever everything is brought up. which is fair, but. still.
i'll get him a therapist like i've been seeing. an in-person one'll work better for him, i think.
not sure what else'll change, really. everything feels mostly the same.
other than (gasp) public handholding. (scandalous.) every time we're beside one another, tori's finding some form of physical contact.
that's different.
...in a good way.
right now, it looks like the aftermath of a wild party. friends knocked out in random spots; dangling half-off the couch or sprawled across the floor. i think frisk and i are the only ones still awake, since they wanted to put blankets on everyone.
"(Psst. Is one blanket enough?)"
they raise a large blanket in gesture with a questioning look.
i speak extra softly so i don't disturb toriel laying at my side, with her head on my shoulder and an arm across my torso; hand met with mine.
"(yep.)"
"(Kk.)"
frisk lays a blanket over me and tori. they stare contemplatively before speaking.
"....."
"Goodnight, Dad."
"...'night, kid."
welp.
guess that's it, huh?
....
i'm happy.
caring is nice.
———★
𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐄𝐍𝐃
#undertale#journal#sans#toriel#soriel#sans x toriel#toriel x sans#papyrus#sans and papyrus#papyrus and sans#skelebros#frisk#sans and frisk#frisk and sans#flowey#sans and flowey#undyne#alphys#alphyne#papyton#mettaton#grillby#THE END#Sorry for lateness! Wanted to cook this one longer#Really make sure I tied up what I could.#Thank you guys for reading! All your words mean so much to me#and they always genuinely make my day. :')#I should make NEXT and PREVIOUS buttons on all the posts sometime#WORD COUNT edit 'cuz whoopsie I included one of the dates in it: 103165#This is two and a half novels long. Santa MIERDA
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Feel free to send color combo suggestions for any of the options! I have three very quick partially done projects to finish up, then I have no idea what to make I can't edit the poll options but it didn't show I had too many characters on the snorlax line! I think it's probably pretty obvious, but the rest of that poll option was meant to be "she just likes snorlax)"
#what to sew next#the person behind the yarn#tj makes some polls#(a tag to block if you don't want to see my polls)#I am pretty sure my sister is not on tumblr#but hey if you're my sister and reading this and like snorlax#you did not see this poll#it is a surprise and you know nothing about your potential snorlax plushie#(even if it doesn't win this poll I'll probably make one by christmas this year)
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ALSO I'M PRETTY SURE I TOTALLY FORGOT TO SHARE THIS BUT ONE OF MY BESTIES GOT AKI'S VA SIGNATURE AND SENT IT TO ME 🥹🥹🥹 and some other aki goodies.... I'm so happy to own his va's signature now!! and he wrote my name stop it 😭💞
#I was so emotional#I was so happyyy#and all the extra goodies too#I blurred my friends note and I didn't tag them because I'm not sure if they wanted to be anonymous on their blog#but if you're reading this.... love you#I planned to get a proper frame for the print to keep it safe#but honestly I couldn't wait and taped it to my wall immediately 😭#I'll get a proper thing for it soon!#but I wanted to stare at it#I really hope his va comes to one of my local cons so I can meet him!!!#the next con I'm going to has a bunch of other csm vas but just not aki.... 🚶♀️#the worm on a string is worm aki btw
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Requestober 2024 Sketches
The playlist is...well, it will be posting very soon! Keep an eye out for your req(s) every Wednesday and/or Friday after the 6th (I think?), pretty sure I got ‘em all >:3c
Doing the full season this time around! The entire mixed bag o’ candy haha
Day 1 had my beautiful boys!! ♥ I’m so happy that Yanderapy took the lead this year ah! It’s too bad I’m so out of practice with them haha, unconfident lines, but the idea was solidly in place from the word go - this was really the only image that came to mind for them, their weird dynamic hehe <3 Made for each other! I am glad their expressions came together so well in the final version, though I didn’t get to show Micchan kneeling! That’s alright tho ♪ Cute enough here hehe
Day 2 got a lot of notes! Kabu’s clothing design is So complex lol, just toss him behind Larry who’s like second nature to draw, suits are so so simple in comparison haha ♪ Still only ended up hiding bits of him! He did end up with his shoe on the outside of Larry’s, boxing him in that little bit <3 And look! His smirk!! As well as the “hiragana” on his sleeves while I was still under the impression that it was text and not Flame Texture lol
And yes, as you can see, I ended up going with the alt doodle, they got more! I was quite tempted by Larry holding Kabu since he’s so tiny lol, but that would’ve required drawing his details! No! Hide him!! The pose is fun and silly and cute tho haha, very plush-coded ♪ And then also a little smech for funsies <3 Just to follow up their staring-at-each-other-in-a-gay-way they ended up with ♥ Rather a fan of Kabu’s hands pulling Larry in :)
Day 3′s was such a pose change!!! Mostly for Edgar, though he’s still kneeling here, inexplicably haha - the angle changed for the final version, and both of their head angles and just, ah, nothing more than a general outline of what I was going for. I’m pleased with both tho! I think the final is much more clear and readable, but there’s always a bit of fun with Edgar looking down/Scriabin looking up haha. I suppose it’s more appropriate than an angel would be looking down on a devil, isn’t it? Haha
Day 4 was another easy one at least, the pose immediately came to mind to show off Nny’s clothes on an even ganglier, thinner frame haha. Like I said, I really tried for more fullbodies this year, so I had to give the tiny version a proper swing on-page! Ran out of room for the larger one, but I really wanted to draw him holding his shoe with his hand haha. You can see the goopmonster on his shirt here too! :D I think his annoyed face is quite cute hehe <3
Day 5 was practically a freebie, and I took absolute full advantage hehehe ♪ If I get the prompt of “soft” of course I’m going to opt for plushies! I’m back in my Webkinz era, and Tala is big big big on Webkinz as well :) And her being a plushie has something of an impact there too lol, but it was really fun to look over all my little guys! I ended up having an extra handful of thoughts about all of them so they’ll be getting their own post(s) :D Good too, since I didn’t talk much about Embroidery’s closet cosplay haha
Day 6 was actually a bit of a question mark for me at first! :0 Not as though I don’t love when Edgar has to clean up Scriabin’s self-inflicted problems haha, I just wasn’t sure what it should be! Making it seasonal helped a bit there - lots of sticker burrs around here when we go walking haha. The bonus ended up being a digital-only, but it was a good motivator to finish these, and then the full poses came to mind - I’m not sure why I was more excited to work on full body poses, but I really was! Maybe the success of meeting my self-imposed challenge haha
I ended up scrapping the alt since it reminded me a little too much of one of the ‘22 reqs - trying to keep things fairly fresh! It was also a little too cartoony haha, where would Edgar suddenly pull such strength from! This doesn’t look like a dream! At least it wouldn’t have been a nightmare of Scriabin being hurt :’) Rescue!
Day 7 was another insta-idea! Really going back and forth on those lol, it sprouted into my head fully formed! This was actually one of a couple I wrote down as I was away from my notebook while brainstorming, so it came back as a mini script; one of more dialogue-heavy ones! Chicken or egg, I wonder, hmm. I always draw Smoker with her sleeves up even though she usually wears them down haha, I dunno. Had a heck of a time with Angie’s hair! I tend to make hair super super fluffy but hers is long and straight and presumably weighs itself down! Doesn’t floof! You’d think having heavy hair myself would incline me towards knowing anything about it but nope lol
Little bouncy concepts haha, and poor Mousey so jealous in the middle, surrounded with them having the most fun!
Day 8 was fairly simple with such a focused ask of them eating Specific Food - can do! Chibis just felt right for such a cute food haha. Would Edgar have a crepe pan, I wonder... I suppose a lot of it comes down to the batter, I haven’t made crepes in such a long time so I wouldn’t know anymore haha
Day 9 featured the slouchy throne! You can see I like the little leggies haha, I did make it a touch more proportional in the final version but who can resist the sillies! Had to draw it and Mettaton separately so I could easily see their silhouettes, I think it all came together in the end fairly well :) Had one heck of a time getting the bottom of his shoes to play nice, but I’m proud of how it turned out!!
Day 10′s, who can resist skelehugs ♥ No I! Not me!! The original had them a lot more upright, I’m glad I went with my note of leaning them back a bit more. Also had Papyrus’ legs on either side of Sans, protective <3 I do like both, but I think they look a bit more reasonably comfortable in the final version, figuring out contact points with one of Papyrus’ legs all the way to one side was too much haha. No boots on the couch! I think they look a bit younger in the final version too, maybe from their eyebrow expressions? Interesting how such small changes can make a big difference ♪
Day 11 was originally going to feature a bunch more Pokemon!! Several of my pink-and-purple faves all gathered around MewTwo <3 Flaafy and Musharna and Sableye my beloved 💜 And of course Whismur!! Can’t but Whismur all the time haha, but in the end I opted to go for the simpler(?) option of just the two ‘mons interacting
Whismur is so spooked by you, even lying down!! Even tho I drew it so I can see it right in front of me, I just can’t imagine MewTwo lying down to investigate haha. More posing changes! Lot of ‘em this year. Pls to quiet, cats have very sensitive hearing, you don’t need to shout
Day 12 started off with probably the Correct Amount of confusion lol, considering even @cutiebetutie didn’t expect this to be the matchup lolol, still deeply hilarious to me. But hey, what was I going to do, question a crackship?? Do I look like the kind of person who would say no to exploring some possibilities? Of course I had to give them a scope lol
Haha, “Alt” in quotes as I knew this would actually be the full version, the handholding is cute but where’s the dynamic! There is something there after all! I think so anyway, some tiny tiny sliver that they could start from, and what more foot in the door do you really need? If Nny’s on his charm that drew Devi in, I don’t see why someone a little more airheaded like Jake couldn’t be beguiled haha, if he lasts long enough for that ♪ It’s very tense! I wish him well, I wonder if he could protect himself... Just cut and run, Jake!! Makes for an interesting suspense, that’s for sure haha
Day 13‘s kigurumis!!! Yay!!!! Smol and I successfully wore ours for Halloween this year, we’re them fr fr haha, definitely one of my favourites from this season <3 <3 They’re so cute! Biggest change from here to there is probably where the legs start/end haha, kigurumi have funny little legs hehe. And also Papyrus’ gloves! Sans ended up without any, I can’t resist a hand plate here or there ♪ Also him closing his one good eye to pun about was an accident until it wasn’t haha, just another excuse to do a touch of rereading :3
Day 14‘s turned out so good for how cramped the sketch was!!! Gaster’s hardly there at all! Which is appropriate in its own way haha, filling in the rest of his details was pretty fun tho :) Papyrus looks a lot more desperate in this version which I do like, but him openly enjoying himself is very sweet, who could deny him that <3 Quite pleased with how his arm and hand posing came together in the end as well, fairly minor changes but I think it all flows together much nicer :D
Day 15′s word bubbles turned out way cleaner in the sketch than the final version?? Calls for more practice I suppose; it is asymmetrical, but it does look nice! Maybe needed more colour swatches haha, more and more rows! Edgar’s unimpressed look in the final version is quite good I think but there’s almost a kind of urgency with no eyes behind blank glasses hmm, they both have their merits! I applaud everyone who caught Scriabin holding the bi flag as his swatches! :D Good eye!
Day 16 began The Sleepies lol, I was a bit tired while doodling the first go and it uhm. Well. I mean. You can see lol. S’a bit goofy haha
The alt was much much better! I did end up leaving out the grass which I’m a Little disappointed about - feels too manicured, too sterile in the final version! But I really couldn’t figure a way of adding a bit of visual noise that wouldn’t look flat as well! Minecraft, eh, lol. I am quite pleased with how round Moomin turned out tho :D He looks like a marshmallow in the final version! Yay!
I actually doodled Day 17′s concept before 16 since it came to me so strongly - I do kind of like how much more upright Mob is here, him being as hunched over as he is in the final version adds to the moodiness of the piece I feel. He really is such a good boy! I don’t wish him dark and upsettings!
Day 18‘s didn’t get a paper sketch as I was verrryyyyy tired and had no energy to scan, so skipped the step that would make scanning necessary haha. For all that, I do rather like the digital sketch tho! I think Snufkin’s left leg is a bit better proportioned, and his expression is maybe a bit cheekier? Moomin’s perfect, no notes haha. I also ended up really liking their tail expressions, how Snuf’s is kind of straight and flat while Moomin’s is very roundy hehe <3
I know I said Day 20 doesn’t count but I mean, it’s on the same page! It got the “Day 20″ label! Sketch can go here why not haha. Happy belated Ace Week! I thought it was fun to put a bunch of pink lovehearts around the big central ace heart for me specifically hehe 💜💗
I mentioned in the tags that Day 26‘s original concept was too big to try to do all at once and ahhhh I wish I’d been able to swing it!! I wish I’d been able to do the whole thing!!!! I love scenes like this the most!! Little isometric rooms with little isometric characters all chatting and interacting and being cute and silly and tiny!! I love that! Alas, it had to stay a sketch, but here it is!! Can you recognize everyone here? The main three got the center, but who could the rest be :3c And what of their costumes! Hehe ♪
Still fighting back the sleepies for what ended up being the final version so the dialogue was left much more vague than the caption haha, the aliens don’t even have feet here! I suppose they are meant to be in fish costumes lol, it tracks that only the fully-human Captain’s legs would end there, but definitely not intentionally done so lol. I like ZEX’s expression here so muuuuch ahh I wish I’d been able to capture it a bit better in the digital version! Always something for next time haha
I actually ended up drawing Day 30′s sketch very very last, so this was the last doodle of the season! Me, projecting my tiredness onto the Vargases? Nooo <3 Another one that ended up very very different from the final version, I just needed Something down to paper and out of my head to work with really - I knew even while drawing this that I was going to end up with something very different haha. Sometimes hand just does whatever it wants pft. The dialogue was the star of the show here! And you can see what Scriabin was up to, obscured by the couch haha
Day 31, penultimate sketches for the final day! I really do love Scriabin hiding behind Edgar - wants to be included but not That close, very much with Edgar in the way of anything bad happening to him haha. More pose changes! I like both versions, Todd holding Shmee for comfort or him spilling out of his lap as he focuses all his attention on Joel <3 Both cute in different ways!
Cats are still not one of my strong-suits, but I have been drawing them a bit more recently! Admittedly of the cartoon variety, but even that has had some effect I think! Like their little triangle noses, and the way their ears scoop inwards, and whiskers - little things! I like it! I had fun with these little concept poses, Joel kind of curiously huddling on Edgar’s chest, looking at the world from a safe vantage spot haha. Hold him gently! He deserves it!
All the sketches from this year! I ended up having a lot of fun this season even if it was a little lighter than previous years haha, thank you again to everyone who joined!! ♥
#Doodles#Requestober#Oh hey there wasn't any blood this year was there! How unusual haha#Here we go tag roundup - Yanderapy hehe <3 - Pokemon (both 'mons and canon characters!) - Vargas of course - Handplates ♥ - Webkinz :D -#RespectAWoman! Yeah!! Their first digitals whoo! - Undertale non-AU haha - Moomins and Minecraft - MP100 - Damned! So happy to have one ♥#I really wasn't sure if I was gonna get one! I spent so much time thinking about Damned this year ahhh <3 <3 Niche of a niche but delight ♪#A very fun spread this year - as is every year haha but it's always fun to see which ones are new and which ones return!#Much higher proportion of Handplates this year :D Not surprised there considering how the year started haha ♪#Always happy to draw those lads <3 They're a delight#And as usual my focus tends to drift towards whatever the req is so I've found myself doing some rereading all over! Which is quite fun :D#Still holding off on Vargas for the time being but everything else got some attention which was very enjoyable ahh#Being caught up has its perks - like reading new things hehe ♪#It does feel funny to have Vargas stuff in a sketchdump when I've still got the VLH-specific sketchdump in the backlog.... Remind me lol#Still lol for as much fun of a season as it was I am ready for it to come to a close haha#And luckily this didn't break even once so I'm getting my ask without a fuss!! Yes!!!#Tired!! Ready to take a short break!!! And it really will be short since I want to start up again at the beginning of next week lol#But I get my break!!! I definitely feel like I've earned it haha#And then it'll be back to doodling and editing and writing ahhhh - plenty of other things I'm looking forward to!!!#Thanks again for such a fun season <3 Couldn't do it without you hehe
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Hi! I love your Naruto thoughts and meta posts with all my heart and I want to ask your thoughts on something that has been on my mind literally since I was 13: what do you think about the relationship between Sasuke and Sakura? I went from being a hardcore shipper when I was a teenager, to being against any romantic relationship in Naruto after finishing the anime when I was in my early twenties. Nowadays I'm very into platonic love and depictions of friendship and I think the anime's obsession with forcing the "romantic interest" curse upon the main female character robbed us of... so much. There are a few wonderful moments in the anime where Sasuke and Sakura acknowledge each other, but because she's always "the girl with the crush", her actions are so often interpret as irrational or selfish by the fandom.
Hi @riemmetric! It's great to talk to you again! Sorry it's taken me so long to answer this; RL has been making demands of me lately and it took me way longer to finish writing this up than I wanted it to (then again, I knew from the minute I read your original ask that my reply was going to get long, so I suppose I should have predicted a delay XD)
It's funny, my sister once asked me to choose between Sasuke or Sakura for an “unpopular opinion” meme, and I ended up doing Sasuke solely because I think the negative fandom opinions about Sakura are so unhinged and divorced from the actual text that I wouldn’t even know where to start. People are entitled to dislike whatever characters they want, obviously, but there are some fandom takes that are, for me, so obviously rooted in bad faith viewings/readings that there’s no urge in me to discuss them. That said, since you asked, I’m happy to go into my own thoughts on this a bit, with the disclaimer for other potential readers that I only write about fandom things for my own personal enjoyment, not as a contribution to The Discourse. If you don’t like Sakura, great! I have no interest in changing your mind. Please consider this a sincere invitation to scroll on by and go enjoy whatever parts of the fandom appeal to you.
In general terms: I love Sasuke and Sakura’s relationship as much as I love all of the relationships in Team 7. If we’re talking about them specifically as a romantic couple, then I probably fall somewhere in the middle of the spectrum, because I do like them together in a post-canon (to be clear: non-Boruto) setting, after time has passed and they’ve continued to develop individually and reconnect with each other, but I also wouldn’t exactly call myself an intense “shipper,” in the sense that I have no interest in pulling things out from the text and incorrectly citing them as evidence that Sasuke has hidden romantic feelings for her during the canon period. He cares about her in the canon period, just like he cares about Naruto and Kakashi. That’s not up for interpretation; it’s the text. But Sasuke during the canon time period does not demonstrate specifically romantic interest in anyone.
[A note before people who might ship Sasuke with Someone Else emerge to rail against this statement - please just scroll past and continue enjoying fandom in whatever way is most fun for you. It is cool to ship whatever fanon thing you want; I think that’s great! But earnestly citing any loving or emotional thing Sasuke does re: various characters in this story (yes, Sakura included) as indicative of specifically romantic love isn’t supported by the text. I know there are always going to be enormous subsets of any fandom who insist that it is, and I'm certainly not going to barge into anyone else's space to complain about that (because other people having fun together is harmless and none of my business), but I'm not obligated to indulge it on my own blog, either.]
Anyway, that said - the reason why I love Sakura and Sasuke’s relationship (from here on out I’ll use “relationship” in a general, non-romantic sense) is precisely because Sakura isn’t just “the girl with the crush.” Sakura has an arc when it comes to Sasuke, and its trajectory moves in the exact opposite direction of “irrational” or “selfish.” She specifically goes from “the girl with the crush” to “the girl who steels herself and tries to put her personal feelings for Sasuke aside for the greater good” to “the girl who knows she can’t put her feelings aside, but who also knows full well that Sasuke doesn’t reciprocate them, and who still wants to save him regardless, because he matters to her as a person and a friend.”
[I'm putting the rest of this under a cut to save everyone's dash, and also to emphasize once again that this is a personal post on my personal blog which I wrote in response to a question from a personal acquaintance, the full content of which no one is obligated to read. I am not sending this post to random strangers and forcing them to look at it. I'm not even putting it in the character tags. I'm typing it up on my own blog and putting it under a cut. If you already know that you don't like Sakura, but you still click the link/read the post and then feel an urge to comment and complain, I am going to copy-paste this disclaimer and remind you that I specifically recommended that you scroll past and go have fun with fandom in your own way. Thanks in advance for responsibly curating your own fandom experience!]
So, from the top:
1. the girl with the crush
Sakura is, obviously, completely obsessed with Sasuke at the beginning of Part 1. She’s also deeply clueless about him and his history (bizarre though it is, the story seems to indicate that she initially doesn’t know what happened with his family, the same way young!Obito is initially clueless about Kakashi’s father). But what I like about Sakura and Sasuke’s Part 1 relationship is how this changes over time.
The critical scene that kicks this off happens right at the beginning of the manga, when she and Sasuke are talking by that bench - she complains about Naruto and blames his behavior on him being all alone/having no family to scold him; and even says she’s jealous that he doesn’t have parents to nag him all the time. This obviously triggers an outburst from Sasuke, who tells her she has no idea what loneliness means and that she “makes him sick”/she’s “annoying” (importantly, the exact same thing Sakura said to Naruto in anger earlier that day), which in turn prompts Sakura to reassess herself and wonder whether she’s been making Naruto feel this terrible all the time, too:
From that point on, it’s a process of her putting little pieces together. She still has a MAJOR crush, and she still acts like a twelve year-old, but as we approach the end of Part I, Sakura actually has a more accurate grasp on Sasuke’s current state of mind than Naruto does. Naruto is initially excited to fight Sasuke on top of the hospital, because he feels like Sasuke’s finally acknowledging him, whereas Sakura is the one who immediately recognizes that something is wrong about this situation. She is also the one who, after this fight, is concerned that Sasuke is really unwell and might do something drastic like run off in pursuit of the power Orochimaru promised him, but when she communicates this to Naruto, he assures her that this would NEVER happen:
(Sakura isn't convinced, though, because she goes to monitor the exit out of the village anyway.)
I’m not criticizing Naruto for his response here. I ADORE hearing him say that Sasuke is too strong to need Orochimaru, with such perfect confidence - I love seeing how much respect and admiration he has for Sasuke underneath all their fighting, because that’s the whole reason he’s always baiting Sasuke and yelling at him and claiming “you're not so great!” He looks up to Sasuke; he wants to be like Sasuke; he thinks Sasuke is awesome! (It’s that Obito @ Kakashi behavior, you know?) But the fact remains that he is clueless about what’s actually going on with Sasuke in Part 1, and he remains clueless(ly optimistic) for a long time.
(Eg, when he catches up to Sasuke during the retrieval arc and Sasuke climbs out of that cursed seal coffin, Naruto waves at him and calls "Come on, let's go!" as if Sasuke has been successfully rescued and is now going to come running home. Even in Part II, when Naruto hears that Sasuke killed Orochimaru, he beams and immediately says, “So he must be on his way back to the Leaf Village!” And everyone else in the room is like, “....,” because they know better. Naruto doesn’t yet fully understand [or doesn't want to accept] the extent to which Sasuke has willingly chosen this path, and it’s not until after Jiraiya’s death/the Pain attack/the Five Kage Summit that Naruto really starts to understand Sasuke more clearly, which is something he himself admits.)
Sakura, in Part 1, has access to more information about Sasuke - she’s there for his first dissociative monologue during the bells test, she’s there for the curse mark’s placement, she’s there for his first violent transformation in the Forest of Death - she is, in fact, the unwitting catalyst for it (“Sakura…who did this to you?”), and her compassion is the reason Sasuke is later able to overcome the curse mark’s influence - so she has a more accurate/complete picture of “how he’s doing,” for lack of a better phrase, whereas Naruto, who doesn’t know about the curse mark in the first place, is still in the dark. This means that Sakura is able to accurately discern that Sasuke is struggling more than Naruto realizes, and specifically to predict that he’s going to run away.
(This dynamic is then interestingly flipped in the back half of Part II, since at any point after the Five Kage Summit, Sakura doesn’t have access to extremely relevant [if currently questionable and unproven] details that would in any other circumstance inform her behavior).
Of course, just because she has more info in Part 1 doesn’t mean she has some kind of miraculous insight into Sasuke’s every thought and feeling. There are parts of her attempt to convince Sasuke to stay in the village that are as clueless as any of Naruto’s assumptions, and they showcase the kind of magical thinking common to childhood - like when she says that if he stayed with her, she could give him happiness, she’d do anything for him, even help him get his revenge - this idea that she herself can do something to make him feel better, that she can love him powerfully enough to defeat his pain - obviously none of that is rooted in realism.
Is this part of her approach irrational and immature and inadvertently self-centered? Of course it is! But it’s no more irrational and immature and inadvertently self-centered than Naruto’s stated plan to drag Sasuke back to the village even if he has to “break every bone in [his] body!”
Hating on Sakura for her Part 1 attempt to convince Sasuke to stay in the village while simultaneously lauding Naruto for his feels like a bad faith misread of what is, to me, pretty clear narrative intention. The story doesn’t at any point intend for us to see her begging him to stay as a selfish or conniving attempt to get something she wants. She’s begging him to stay for the same underlying reason that Naruto is: she cares about him. She thinks he’s making a mistake that will only cause him more pain in the end (she’s right) and she wants to make it so he feels less pain right now (she can’t. But she doesn’t understand that/isn’t able to admit that, and she’s willing to try ANYTHING that might help).
It’s critical that this farewell scene is set in front of that same bench from their first important confrontation - she references that day and how angry he got at her, and this time she tells him that she understands his reaction. She’s learned things and she recognizes how insensitive she was being back then (“I know what happened to your clan, Sasuke”), even though she still can’t fully grasp all the complexities of the situation. She tells him that him blowing up at her back then helped her understand what loneliness actually meant (as opposed to her previous shallow understanding of it), and she challenges him about his choice right now: "So that's it, you're choosing the lonely path?" And when she tells him that she'll be very lonely if he leaves, we're immediately shown a panel of Sasuke thinking of both his friends, with the very clear implication that if he goes through with this, he will be lonely without them, too - that he's still struggling with the idea of leaving them, no matter how hard he tries to pretend:
Sakura at this point knows that Sasuke isn’t interested in her the way she is in him, but she still wants to give him happiness, however fantastical and immature her ideas sound to us (and, I’m sure, to him). “I’ll do anything, even help you get your revenge/we'll have fun every day, and...and you'll be happy! I'll make sure of it!” - of course, it’s completely childish. It’s irrational. It’s ridiculous to think that any of this would ever be effective, but no more ridiculous than Naruto’s belief that he can simply break every bone in Sasuke’s body and keep him in the Leaf by force.
Both Naruto and Sakura are children who have a deeply oversimplified understanding of Sasuke’s situation. They both still think they can fix him themselves. They both think they can save him themselves. They both think they can convince (or force) him to do what they want, what they think is in his best interests. Both of them don’t yet understand that he has to want to come back, if it’s ever going to mean anything. Their attempts to keep him in the village are immature and unrealistic, yes. What they aren’t, however, is selfish, because neither Sakura nor Naruto are doing any of this with the intention of advancing their own interests. They’re only thinking about Sasuke - how to keep Sasuke safe, how to make Sasuke happy - even when neither of them are taking an approach that will actually work.
Naruto and Sakura are children. They’re afraid of losing somebody they care about. Their attempts to prevent that from happening are desperate and messy and ultimately ineffective, but they are also genuinely felt and rooted in a true desire to rescue Sasuke from his pain, which - and this is the single most important thing that should impact our viewing of Part 1 - is something that Sasuke RECOGNIZES. He doesn’t spend that agonizingly long moment bowed over Naruto’s defeated body so we can pretend he doesn’t understand that Naruto was just trying to help him. He doesn’t take the time to murmur, “Sakura…thank you,” before laying her out carefully on a bench, just so we can discount it and pretend that he doesn’t recognize and appreciate her genuine intention to make things better for him, however clumsy that attempt might have been.
2. the greater good
If Stage 1 Sakura is "the girl with the crush," then Stage 2 Sakura is a progression to “the girl who decides to put her feelings for Sasuke aside in order to protect innocent people, including (but certainly not limited to) Naruto.” She’s driven to this decision by interactions with Shikamaru, who all too recently had to grow up fast himself (“We're not kids anymore...we can't allow a war to break out between the Hidden Leaf and the Hidden Cloud because of Sasuke") and Sai, who risks his new friendship with Sakura and Team 7 in order to speak some hard truths and deliver one of my favorite lines in the whole story: “I don’t know what promise Naruto made to you, but it’s really no different than what was done to me. It’s like a curse mark.”
(INCREDIBLE. How can anybody be complaining about a season where Sai gets to say something that goes THIS HARD and Sakura LISTENS and takes DRAMATIC ACTION that actually propels the story forward in a meaningful way - )
[Okay, yeah, brief personal opinion interlude - it is just bonkers wild to me that there are people who complain about Sakura in the Five Kage Summit arc. That entire season is the greatest character arc she ever has. Literally she has never been more interesting and dynamic than in Season 10; it’s the first time she ever gets to be as deep and fascinating as the boys; what is everybody so worked up about? Oh, “she lied to Naruto that one time” - Sasuke joined infant-kidnapping baby-murdering human experimentation machine Orochimaru when he was twelve years old in order to (dare I say it????) selfishly pursue his personal goals and yet, somehow, we are still able to root for him. He abandoned his friends/allies to imprisonment and death (Suigetsu and Jūgo) or outright stabbed them in the chest himself (Karin) in order to (SELFISHLY) get what he wanted, and yet, somehow, we are still able to love him, understand him, and be on his side. Naruto is canonically not upset with Sakura about her lie after receiving context for the situation and I think we can probably take our cues from him without feeling the need to bring her up on war crimes; please calm down]
[Sorry, I just really love most of Season 10 and think it’s one of the best examples of how good this story can be when every single character gets to do something that matters (as opposed to things being all Naruto, all the time) so I get a little bit worked up over people complaining about some of the best writing Sakura ever gets. I don’t understand what certain elements of fandom want from her. People complain about her being “useless” and not doing anything that contributes to the story, but then they complain just as much when she does finally get to act decisively and have just as complex/dynamic an inner world as the boys. She’s “weak” for being unreasonably in love with Sasuke, but when she tries to be “strong” and put her love for him aside and eliminate him in order to protect Naruto and the rest of the world, she’s evil, because she should have been more understanding of his situation (despite the fact that she doesn’t KNOW anything about his situation). But then when she can’t go through with killing him after all because she cares about him too much despite the things he’s done, she’s not "compassionate" or "kind" or "a good friend," she’s “weak” again. Nothing Sakura does in S10 is more wrongheaded or rash than any of the batshit, buckwild things Naruto and Sasuke have done in the past (and will continue to do in the future), but when Naruto and Sasuke have big feelings or take bold action, it makes them interesting characters, whereas Sakura can’t breathe in anyone’s direction without being minutely scrutinized for moral impurities.]
Anyway. Back to a more measured response.
Every single piece of development Sakura has with regard to Sasuke in this season satisfies me so much. Her initial shock and disbelief at hearing that Sasuke had joined the Akatsuki? Good, appropriate. The fact that she starts to acknowledge the reality of what Sasuke’s done sooner than Naruto does? Also extremely appropriate, very in-character for both of them. Her taking Sai’s words to heart and deciding that the promise she asked Naruto to make when they were children is causing him to suffer and she has to relieve him of that burden? Juicy! AND thematically significant (promises!!!! the burden that a promise places on a person, especially when it can't be kept - we've seen that before in this story and we'll see it again). Her anguished pivot from wanting to protect Sasuke to realizing that she has a responsibility to protect the countless innocents who will die because of the war he’s trying to start? HELLO THIS IS INCREDIBLE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. Her knocking out the classmates who agreed to help her so they don’t have to share in her burden (and so the only person Naruto will hate when it’s over is her)? BRUH. Her being so committed and focused on her goal of saving innocents and protecting Naruto (not just from being harmed by Sasuke/the Akatsuki, but by the possibility that Naruto will someday have to hurt Sasuke himself) that she tries to take everything on by herself and walks into a confrontation that she absolutely cannot win?? INCREDIBLE. (Literally the first time I watched this, I said, “Finally!!! It’s Sakura’s turn to go off the rails!” I laughed with my sister about how Kakashi isn’t even mad, because Naruto and Sasuke have been pulling stunts like this for years and Sakura was way overdue for her own meltdown.) And then, after Kakashi intervenes in the fight - Sakura barreling back into the battle when she realizes he’s going to take on the burden of killing Sasuke himself in order to spare her and Naruto the horror - “I can’t let Kakashi-sensei bear this burden!” I love her for that.
And then, of course, in the end - her not being able to do hurt Sasuke after all. Despite committing herself to the act, despite forcing herself to put her feelings for him aside, despite resolving to stop him from starting a war and killing innocent people, she can’t harm him. She cares about him too much. This, too, is thematically significant - think about Itachi’s “you don’t have enough hatred” - she doesn’t have enough hatred to kill someone she cares about, even if it seems like he deserves it, even if would be the right thing to do to protect others. She can’t do it, and Sasuke almost kills her for her compassion.
I love the dynamic this sets up between her and Sasuke, for a few reasons:
1) Personally, I think Sasuke respects Sakura much more for trying to kill him than he would have if she’d just tried to talk him out of his behavior or beg him to come home (a la their original confrontation in Part 1). This is the first significant interaction he’s had with Sakura in years, and the fact that she does something SO contrary to his memory of her is an important demonstration of the fact that she’s not the same girl she used to be. Sasuke spends a lot of time after his defection declaring to his old team “I’ve changed; I’m not that person anymore,” but this is one of the moments where he’s forced to acknowledge that his teammates have changed, too. Time didn’t just stop for them when he left. While he was turning into someone new, so were they. They grew up without him, and his old memories of them can’t encompass the whole picture of who they are now.
(This is a little tangential, but in general, I love the spectrum of reactions that Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi have in this sequence, and the way that all of them are ultimately messages Sasuke needs to hear. Sasuke - who we know textually regrets what he did here, who apologizes to Sakura for it later - for “everything,” in fact - needs Naruto’s aggressively optimistic open-arms policy, yes, needs that potential, that unconditional possibility of return. He also needs Sakura’s refusal to let him hurt her friends and start a war that will kill thousands of people, needs her surprisingly ruthless attempt to take him down; needs just as much her failure to do so, because it shows him that she still loves him too much to kill him even as she condemns him. And he needs Kakashi’s grim line in the sand, needs someone who very possibly won't hesitate like Sakura (despite the horrifying personal cost), someone who will try to reach him but also won't let him escape and become the next generation’s Orochimaru, who won't let him cause untold suffering to untold numbers of people just because a teacher loved him too much to stop him when he had the chance.
(And then even Kakashi chooses not to deliver a killing blow when he has the opportunity -)
(I know that in fandom people are more likely to be all, “oh, Naruto Good, everybody else Bad,” but I don’t think the narrative frames Sakura or Kakashi as “worse” than Naruto in any way. The story goes out of its way to make it clear how desperately they don’t want to hurt Sasuke and how much they care about him. And [this is just my interpretation, so obviously I won’t claim it as fact], I personally think that Sasuke - Sasuke, who, looking back, can see how lost he was then and how tortured he would have been if he’d gone through with many of his plans - would be grateful to Sakura and Kakashi for making an attempt to stop him when he couldn’t stop himself.)
2) On the other side of this, the fact that Sakura wasn’t able to deliver the killing blow means a lot. Sasuke was incapacitated under that bridge; he was completely at her mercy - but she stopped with the kunai an inch from his back. She couldn’t kill him, even though she knew that he was completely willing to kill her (because he'd attempted to Chidori-assassinate her from behind just a few minutes ago). That’s huge! Sasuke is too out of his head right now to process this or understand it, but later, it's going to matter. She stayed her hand. She spared his life. She loved him too much to hurt him, even when he’d given her every reason to take him down. She hesitated, and he almost killed her for it, but her inability to strike him ultimately gave him yet another chance to come home, another chance to get better, another chance to have a life outside of his pain. Despite everything, some part of her still hadn’t really given up on him, and that knowledge will matter later, when he’s finally able to acknowledge it.
The point of all this is to say that I really have no complaints about Sakura and Sasuke’s dynamic in their S10 confrontation. This season is the point where Sakura fully grows past her “girl with a crush” stage and into her “shinobi must make very harsh decisions” adulthood, but it never means that she doesn’t care about the person she’s trying to take down. Her ultimate inability to deliver the killing blow remains a dangling lifeline for her relationship with Sasuke, an open door that Sasuke is able to walk through at the end of the story (literally, in fact, when Sakura opens that portal for him and saves him from Kaguya’s desert prison, and figuratively, too, when Sasuke apologizes to her).
3. she only wants to save you
The last stage in their relationship is what Sakura settles into during the war arc. She started off Part 1 being just a girl with a crush, then tried to harden her heart and put her feelings for Sasuke aside in service of the greater good, but she was unable to actually follow through and kill him, and because of that, what she’s come to accept by the war arc is actually two things: that 1) Sasuke truly is willing to let her die if it furthers his goals, and 2) she wants to save him anyway.
She has no intention of pursuing Sasuke romantically. She knows full well that Sasuke isn’t interested in her. She even knows that Sasuke isn’t really on their side (there’s a great scene where Sai questions Sakura about Sasuke’s return, and she reassures him that everything is fine, and Sai sadly thinks to himself “even I can tell your smile is fake”). She’s well-aware that Sasuke didn’t try to help her when Madara stabbed her. She’s well-aware that he left her to die in the lava pit. She’s also well-aware that none of this is enough to make her stop loving him. He doesn’t have to care about her - she still cares about him. She still wants to help him. She still wants to save him.
This is not hidden, hard-to-parse character development. It’s explicitly articulated on the page:
Sakura’s not trying or wanting to make you hers! She only wants to save you.
I’m not sure if people look at this last confrontation and unquestioningly take Sasuke at his word (as if we haven’t just read 71 volumes/watched 700 episodes showing us how how painfully distorted his thinking is), or if they stop reading/watching before the end of the scene, or if they don’t understand that Sasuke saying something doesn’t make that statement an accurate representation of reality. The entire point of this scene is to show us how deeply mistaken Sasuke is about Sakura (and, by extension, the rest of Team 7). He’s locked into a false pattern of thinking. His single-minded focus on revenge and destruction has blinded him to the unconditional love his friends feel for him; he’s become so accustomed to using others and being used that he can’t understand or accept that someone would care about him without needing a reason, without needing him to love them back, without needing to receive something from him in exchange.
Sakura’s not trying or wanting to make you hers! She only wants to save you.
Sasuke matters to Sakura as more than a love interest. He always has. She does love him romantically, yes, but she doesn’t only love him romantically, and her desire to help him is not and has never been contingent on him returning her feelings, romantically or otherwise. Sasuke isn’t able to acknowledge that in this scene, but that doesn’t mean we’re supposed to just sit back and agree with his warped perspective. Kakashi is the one who’s explicitly positioned as the voice of the narrative here. We, as the audience, are supposed to recognize that Kakashi is the one telling us the truth.
[tangential thing 1: You don’t have to love Sakura's last plea to Sasuke here. It’s not my favorite, either - the best part, other than Kakashi’s speech at the end, is the moment after Kakashi collapses when Sakura’s expression changes from pained uncertainty to pure rage, when she grits her teeth together - when I first saw that, I almost leapt out of my seat like “Oh my god. She’s finally going to let him have it. It’s finally happening - ” I wanted that so badly, and I still think it would have been a more effective writing choice for Sakura’s last words to lean more into her anger at the suffering Sasuke is causing all of them (himself included!) and less into yet another of Kishimoto’s “let me have Sakura articulate what a shame it is that she can’t do as much as Naruto despite the fact that I literally just went through a major reveal sequence in the war to show that she’s caught up to the boys; I can’t make up my mind about whether I want her to progress or not” - it’s extremely frustrating (and it's something he does at the very end of the S10 Team 7 reunion, too, which is the ONLY moment of S10 that falls flat for me). But at the same time, even if there are ways this sequence could be more satisfying, it doesn’t change the fact that her plea to him is not remotely motivated by a desire to be with him romantically and not anything to condemn her for.]
[tangential thing 2: I do like how she remembers that moment when Sasuke says “Thank you.” That panel precedes her saying “If there’s even a tiny corner of your heart that thinks about me…” (which I’m sure is one of the things that people like to criticize about this scene, aka “oh she’s sooooo self-centered” etc), but that particular line of dialogue is preceded by that particular flashback panel for a reason: Sakura knows that Sasuke DOES think about her. He thinks about all of them. Sakura remembers that “thank you,” and it reminds her that despite everything Sasuke has done and said since, despite all evidence to the contrary, she knows in her bones that his expression of gratitude back then was genuine. He cared about her once. He cared about all of them. She’s trying to reach the part of him that still does, if it exists.]
[tangential thing 3: The fact that Kakashi says “she suffers from loving you,” and it triggers Sasuke to remember his own family - thinking about how much he suffered (and still suffers) from loving them - “Perhaps…those are the ties to a failed past” - the idea that it’s not worth it to have bonds if it means you suffer this much…that it’s too difficult, it’s too painful, and if Sakura and the rest of Team 7 were smarter they would just give it up (all Sasuke knows how to do now is sever potential bonds before they can hurt him; so why aren’t Sakura and the rest of his teammates doing that, why can’t they let it go, why are they making this so hard - ) << yeah, he clearly doesn't care about her/them at all.]
4. the shadow of my family
This has all been a really long way to answer the original question, but the short response to “What do you think about the relationship between Sasuke and Sakura?” is “I really care about it,” just like I really care about the relationship between Sasuke and Naruto, just like I really care about the relationship between Sasuke and Kakashi. And I don’t think the story ever asks me to choose between them.
I’m not sure whether it’s the impact of Boruto-era “canon” that gets in the way of other people approaching things this way (I don’t consider sequel material when I evaluate the original story), or if it’s Kishimoto’s frequent disinterest in/disrespect towards female characters, which yes, does sometimes make it harder, or if it's a shipping thing (bane of my existence), or some combination of factors, but for me, taking one member of Team 7 out of the equation hobbles the rest of the story. I can’t read/watch Naruto while hating one of the protagonists and loving the other three. It doesn’t work like that for me. The story wasn’t written that way, and there’s nothing in the text that would cause me to receive it that way.
That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with disliking one of the main foursome (or any character, for that matter) - obviously we're all going to have different preferences, and everyone is free to enjoy or reject whatever parts of a story they want, or to like or dislike whatever characters they want. I know that some people have more fun disregarding canon and doing their own thing, which is fine. My own personal zone of enjoyment comes from receiving the story as closely to how I think it was intended to be read as I can, and personally, when I look at this particular story, what I see is that all the members of Team 7 clearly demonstrate their love for Sasuke in ways that he himself later recognizes and acknowledges. All of them are driven by their desire to save him and their unwillingness to hurt him. All of them make repeated choices to chase after him when he runs away, to trust him when he hasn't exactly earned it, to give him another chance when he doesn't appear to deserve it. ALL of them, not just Naruto, do these things multiple times throughout the story, and Sasuke owes his life (and thus his eventual recovery) to ALL of them, many times over. Kakashi disobeys Hokage-elect Danzō and breaks the law to negotiate for Sasuke's life with a foreign head of state. Sakura and Kakashi both have opportunities to kill Sasuke in the Land of Iron, and they choose to spare him instead. Kakashi stops Sasuke from killing his only friends at two different points in the story, which would have been a mistake Sasuke couldn't have recovered from. Sasuke would have died in Kaguya's desert dimension if Sakura hadn't saved him (Sakura, who knew that Sasuke wasn't even truly on her side yet, who knew he'd abandoned her for dead multiple times already that day). Kaguya's bone bullet would have killed Sasuke too, if Kakashi, with his intention to die in Sasuke's place, hadn't leapt in front of it (Kakashi, who also knew that Sasuke wasn't fully on their side yet, who also knew that Sasuke had abandoned him for dead earlier that day). Sasuke and Naruto would have BOTH died in the Final Valley if Sakura and a severely injured Kakashi hadn't chased after them to heal their injuries.
Remove any one member of Team 7, and Sasuke never makes it home. Without the combined efforts of all three of his teammates, he doesn't survive. That’s the way it should be, thematically, for a story whose first and most foundational premise was the importance of teamwork, and since Sakura was just as essential to that framework as everyone else, I’m just as invested in her relationship with Sasuke as I am in his relationship with everyone else. You can’t remove one leg from a four-legged stool without damaging the integrity of the entire structure, and for me, discounting any single member of Team 7 irreparably damages the integrity of the entire story.
TL;DR: I love all of the Team 7 relationships, including Sakura and Sasuke's, because despite what some segments of fandom seem to believe, the text of the story never gives me any reason not to.
#naruto#meta#replies#anyway that's that! hopefully that is a helpful answer#thank you for the question! i honestly don't think i would have ever gotten around to writing about this if i hadn't been directly asked#i love talking about the stories i enjoy (obviously; we all do; that's why we're here)#but i'm usually ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ about responding to takes that blatantly misread the narrative to justify hating a particular character or ship#mostly because a) it's whatever. as long as people mind their own business and leave me to enjoy myself they can do what they want#and b) some opinions are so divorced from the actual text that they're not worth discussing#like. what's the point of responding to random internet posts saying that sakura was selfishly pursuing sasuke as a lover the entire time#when that is textually and provably not the case?#if you're that committed to experiencing things in direct contradiction to what the narrative is asking of us then just go ahead#is it mildly annoying to me? sure. but so are lots of things and it's better to just let stuff go#like - i initially planned to take this piece of meta all the way up through sakura and sasuke's last scene together#the one where he tells her 'maybe next time' and finally reclaims and redefines itachi's forehead tap (INCREDIBLE. THIS SCENE.)#but ultimately i changed my mind because everything i wrote for that last section was coming out too harsh#i generally prefer to talk about fandom stuff in a chill/friendly approachable way#but i kept thinking about the most obscenely & disrespectfully inaccurate read of that scene i'd ever seen#and i couldn't figure out how to talk about it in a non-scathing way#that scene and the one where naruto gives sasuke's headband back are the ONLY well-written things about the finale of naruto#they are SO perfectly constructed and i can't respond to people slandering either one without feeling an urge to kill#so i just deleted it. partially because again - this is fandom; it's not that serious; people can do what they want#but also because i know i get extra frustrated about people picking over the text and plucking out isolated bits and pieces#to contort into blatantly misinterpreted mutant shapes that 'confirm' whatever pre-existing judgments or ships they had#instead of experiencing the story as a cohesive whole & keeping in mind the greater context of what it's always been trying to communicate#people on this website say 'we all interpret things differently :)' as if it means no one can ever be wrong about what a text is saying#newsflash: not all interpretations of a text are valid. things can't in fact mean whatever you want them to mean.#the ***story*** persists and exists even if the author is dead to you#if you choose to ignore that then that's fine; it's just fandom; who cares. but i'm not going to pretend you're 'analyzing' anything.#(ok now i'm really done. you can see why i deleted this section XD)
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omg it’s yujiro’s first song as “someya yujiro” what if i cried
#can’t believe i missed it the first time but aaaaaaaaaaaa#(ignore the 5s ago at the bottom this ss was from when it went up 2 hours ago)#but. guys… i can’t believe how much the someya bros secretly care about each other. brotherly love sure is sweet~~~~~#still waiting on the someya bros duet hw—#i want them to have flower symbolism like how the shibasaki bros have their dogesque selves x their cat-like lovers thing going on#n o you see the flower symbolism suits them bc y’know the longleg was like ‘you aint got any flowers kid’ wrt yujiro’s beauty#and yet shortleg says ‘your flowers will never wither’ which i g u e s s could be telling yujiro that he’ll be pretty forever y ‘ k n o w#and this is coming from shortleg who is allowed to perform kabuki [read: passes longleg’s unrealistic beauty (read as ‘flower’) standards]#w h i c h i guesssss could be taken a step further in that shortleg’s song was originally sung by flower on omoiai. hm. w ait a sec.#i think my tinfoil hat’s stuck on way too tight lol i dont think hw were putting this much thought into using flower for shortleg’s song#see you next week for shibasaki aizo’s debut single!!!!! (is joke)#i’d ascend fr if aizo’s wearing a matching necklace as yujiro (as seen in this illust) in his yuko song ‘mv’ lmao#if aizo’s solo really does drop next week (or the week after) y’all owe me one dollar
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MLCB Concert: XSY's Farewell
In truth, I really don’t like this part, because it also represents that we are bidding our characters farewell for good.
In the morning, when I was getting my makeup done - in an instant, I returned to that summer. I felt that, to be together with good friends, and then having experienced as sweltering a summer as that…
Such an ardently hot-blooded jianghu was presented to everyone; to stand here today-- Because… Because, during the time of Mysterious Lotus Casebook’s initial broadcast, everyone and all the lianluorens must also be thanked. I know there must have been a lot of difficulties when it was first broadcasted, right? To have reached this step today, I think is already very good. I think it is a result of every person’s hard work.
Just now, when we were off-stage, Yan-laoshi said something I really like; in an instant, I lost my composure. I don’t think fate is something that will come with enough waiting, or something that can be insisted on having. It’s when there comes a day where we stand together and work hard to strive toward a common goal. The sentiments of that moment, I feel, last forever.
I hope, however many years later, everyone is still together - that lianluorens can still be together. Thank you, everyone. This summer, thank you to every person. Thank you to all my good companions; thank you, every single person.
Di Feisheng! Until we meet again!
【莲花楼演唱会】 Mysterious Lotus Casebook Concert - 20230916
江湖路远 山高水长 祝 「繁华」 似锦! The roads of the jianghu stretch far; the mountains are lofty, and the rivers are long. I wish your future to be as splendid as an embroidered tapestry! 「追光」 而行 不负初心 愿 永生难忘! Chase the light as you journey; live up to the original intentions of your heart. I hope this will be unforgettable for your lifetime!
Any mistakes are my own.
#mysterious lotus casebook#莲花楼#di feisheng#xiao shunyao#my translation#i doubt his studio purposefully intended to allude to FDB's goodbye video bc a lot of wuxia/jianghu sayings are all the same BUT#it makes me feel things nonetheless that there exist so many similarities#青山不改、绿水长流、后会有期#the jianghu is full of reunions; we will surely meet again#永生难忘: i hope you won't forget this story; i hope you won't forget your friendships#不忘初心#永生难忘: a promise made with a life - i will always remember you#come the next life we must meet again#i also really like what he said: 缘分不是等来的、不是可以要来的#if anyone wants some casual reading you should check out the wikipedia page for yuanfen lol#the more i ferment and ruminate the less i feel like “fate” is an adequate translation#but it's the most popular one#oh and if it wasn't clear enough lol his studio posted puns using the songs he performed
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webtoon would be such a better app if they removed comments
#chernikocore#sucks all the joy out.... i have to see em everytime i finish a chapter#i usually try to click on the next page without reading em because its either the worst takes known to man or ppl being pricks for no reason#made the mistake of looking into the comments of a new one ive been reading abt a character who is mentally disabled/severely ill#and i immediately regretted it TT why are they so ableist#'hopefully shes not insane just traumatised 🥺' 'i bet she's faking it. i hope she is' 'shes boring like this when will she talk properly'#???? why r u reading the story centred on a mentally ill person if u dont want them to be mentally ill#'its probably just the medication when it wears off im sure she'll be normal ☺️' im exploding you with my mind#if the author goes any of those routes im going to be so disappointed. most comics on there r the same thing again and again#ive found something interesting if it decides to make her 'normal' after a certain point ill scream#i want her to heal n recover from her abuse. i dont want to read a story about a girl being 'fixed' by a guy being nice to her#whatever!!!!! ive learned to not expect anything from webtoon comments.... ill try n skip em like i did before when i finish the chapters..#rant over im okay im okay
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Finally got around drawing Aioros :D
#saint seiya#saint seiya fanart#los caballeros del zodiaco#sagittarius aiolos#I remember reading somewhere (either a post or some wiki page idk) how aioros is often revered as the perfect saint an almost divine figure#and I’m pretty sure aioros initially refutes being the next pope saying saga would be a better fit (it’s 4am so correct me if I’m wrong)#anyway I watched some of kotz for fun and saw that scene. he seemed rather upset at the news but a sense of distress I can’t really describ#even when keeping in mind that he was only 14 I don’t think it was the responsibility that comes with being a gold saint/pope successor#but more combining the first bit of being highly viewed. he seems like a rather humble guy who’s rather content with risking his life#or has at least excepted that fact. but when seem as more than a simple soldier it makes him uneasy. because he knows he’s not a god#yet is put in such position that when adding his sacrifice at an early age he’s practically legend. and despite the initial denial he will#always be obedient enough to accept the duty placed upon him. this is all to simply say I tried drawing him smiling but it didn’t look righ#so ye. (feel bad for just leaving the thought process to the sketch in the tags but it’s not my best wording so it stays down here)#a smol trivia nugget: I still don’t know how I want to draw aioros :p actually better trivia nugget: the pose/composition is from a photo m#they saw I had taken a photo but my angle was rather bland so they decided to absolutely blow me away with one heck of a photo#theres even nice lighting and everything. real glad I finally used the reference as reference :]
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alright~ a few updates about everything! so this weekend I'll be seeing changkyun in chicago- so I prolly won't be posting until after I'm alive again from that 😂😅 (I am vv excited about it- I just know I'll be vv tired when I return home). Anyways, I have a few fics in the works~ one of them that is a request 🤭 I'm vv excited to work on them! But I think I'm going to change my masterlist a bit when I come back. I'm going to retire a few groups from the main masterlist and I've been debating for the past year about it... But I think I'm going to add a yearly masterlist- So it would go from most recent to the beginning of this year~
I'm also thinking about changing my pfp- I haven't been really into stray kids for uh... years- But I will be sure to make an update about that if I go thru with that too- (It may be ji changmin next 🫣🤭)
Anyways those are my few updates 🥰💖
#in general my brain is so muddled outside of talking to my three closest and my mom i'm just... fogged- but god how i want to be#writing rn- i have 4 smuts and 1 fluff in the works (who would have guessed my fluff writer self has moved from not only plain fluff to#angst & smut this year? not me- but i'm happy about it) two are poly aus and the other two are about a certain 🌙~#kate rambles on from here#altho there is another vv big potential fic~ but i'm only counting ones i have lots of progress on-#and then the masterlist thing i've been thinking about forever- hwvr again i do not know if i'll have the energy bc i might be knocked#on my ass for another month after this trip (i'll be pretty much solely driving for 4 & 1/2 hrs there and another 4 & 1/2 back the next day#but the pfp thing has been on my mind for a while too- again idk when i'll get around to it but jinkoh has given me a vv good#idea esp for winter~ with mr. ji~ so i'm sure to have changed it by december~ (unless the change is too much for me- i haven't changed it#since 2018... so i'm kind of attached to it- even tho i don't even bias him or stan the group anymore...)#anyways this is full of me rambling- i could really go on tbh- bc i'm really trying to get my mind into gear- but these are my updates#let's see if i fulfill em- i'm bound to fill the fic ones- but the other two... yeah- we'll see-#kate rambles#blog updates#should i bring babydoll q & juyo to the concert bc if it wasn't for kyun getting me into dominic fike(and being into tbz during stealer era#i wouldn't have been a tbz ult... (outside of some other factors i haven't really disclosed) bc atp i'm vv close to packing them with me#i mean tbh a tbz pc was going- but now i'm 🫣: should i bring them to see the guy from my first ult group that caused the spiral-#that made me get into my newest ult group? (i love this butterfly effect more than i could ever express tbh- even tho i express it often)#anyways if someone actually reads these- i'm bound to bring babydoll q- legally that's my buddy- but juyo?? 👀
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Finally returning to Operation: Annihilate
Kid me was extremely freaked out by Kirk's brother dying and Spock being blinded and never touched it again
Coming back as an adult, yeah this is really dark. Not surprised ten-year-old me couldn't handle it, and that comes from someone who always loved angst and would delightedly replay episodes with fakeout deaths since at least age seven.
The aliens always made me think of D&D's cloakers for some reason.
#should I go for one I know is bad next like The Alternative Factor or Assignment: Earth?#I don't really enjoy watching/reading bad fiction for the sake of it but it would be interesting to come from an adult perspective#I definitely want to see what I make of Requiem For Methuselah now#kid me was quite distressed at the idea of an immortal being having actually been multiple famous people in Earth's history#not sure why but it felt very wrong to me... taking away from their real-world legacy maybe?#aside from that I remember almost nothing except the girl being an android
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I cannot believe the wicked games Drabble was 5000 words long like basically a full ass fic and the low amount of notes it got…
#it makes my heart literally SINK like…#now how am I supposed to post wg4 which is 25k words????#it will not get any interaction and I’m just done#like I just cannot post it#it’ll legit kill me 🥲🥲🥲🥲 to see it flop#after I poured my heart and soul into writing something so fucking long and making sure it was good#just bc I knew I had to give you guys something long and exciting to read#but what’s the point#like I cannot believe it… I literally just cannot believe it and I don’t want to post anything anymore#omfg#I know many people will read this and roll their eyes and find this annoying#like I’m complaining or whatever#honestly think what you want to think#I’m just so shocked and legit unhappy#like so fucking unhappy#like bummed the fuck out#that it’s come to this#I don’t wanna post shit anymore lol#idk if it’s the algorithm or genuinely people don’t fuck with my fics anymore#I just don’t understand#but you guys have to understand how it would kill me on the inside if I posted a 25k fic and it got next to no interaction#like I just….#I’m scared it would make me quit writing completely#bc I’m THIS close#I feel so fucking sad bro idek#like it makes me wanna fucking cry#how… a few months ago everything was fine#now it feels like everyone’s gone#and I wasted my fucking time writing a chapter so fucking long that no one’s gonna read#WHY DID I WASTE MY TIME
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