#not sure how to move from here
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Soup solves everything.
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#Senshi#izutsumi#chilchuck tims#laios touden#marcille donato#THE SOUP CHAPTER HAS BEEN ANIMATED#I have so many thoughts about senshi's backstory and how much that experience has shaped who he is.#This is such a powerful moment because it makes it clear how *stuck* senshi has been because of his trauma.#Up until now he has been a mystery! He's the chef guy! Don't worry about his apparent reclusiveness from society!#Don't worry about his intense need to make sure 'the young ones are fed'!#Senshi still has a lot of healing but this was the moment he could finally forgive himself.#This chapter is so important to me because sometimes you truly do need to face the most terrifying things to move past them.#This joke here is a bit too narrow to be funny for the masses...but mdzs fans know.#MDZS :handshake: Dungeon Meshi: Soup moment.#Laios and Jiang Yanli have a powerful magic call "Eat some soup and maybe you'll feel better'#That is also a spell you can cast upon yourself. Go eat some soup and you will feel better. Merry Soupmas everyone.#One more week of Thistle Thursdays....I'm not ready to say goodbye B*(
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What led to this (orufrey comic, cw an uncomfortable/creepy scene)
#witch hat tag#orufrey#er.... i'm too tired to have anything to say..i worked several days on this.#wait.. didn't i say just recently here that i probably wouldn't ever depict 'what if alaira is qifrey's sort-of ex'. What's going on#i don't even remember deciding to draw this..it's all a blur..i'm not sure why i WOULD decide to draw delicate scenes in my head#that i wouldn't really want to share with anyone/discuss so why did i draw it...#some part of me really really wants to draw things that are more and more true to myself...#maybe because of my alienation with most romance/shipping/dynamics the rest of the world depicts.#orufrey really is perfectly suited to me - what i read in the text and what is in my head. well anyway#i am TIRED of drawing poses and angles and..maybe now i will actually take a break from drawing bc of the tediousness of Angles#btw it really is a 'stretch of time' . . . assuming witches graduate age 18-20#well orufrey are canonically 30-ish. they've only had agott around for presumably about TWO years (?) bc she took the test age 10#and it feels like oru moving in/unknown atelier acquisition/building (?) .. i guess that could be a year or so before agott at most#(she was the first disciple) so... ????????? What about the other 7 or so years ?!?!?!!?!?! Unemployed Brimhat Hatred era#that time is very nebulous. after qifrey went to the tower i feel like it's been implied he and oru drifted apart a little.#certainly they didn't live together at first... no way. that doesn't feel like how it is based on things oru has said about becoming Eye#idk. I'm tired now. i don't usually think of alaira as necessarily qifrey's ex and this being how things went in that 'sliver of time'.#i usually prefer the idea that they have their first kiss with each other in their 30s cause That's Just The Orufrey Lifestyle#just felt like making a more relatable alternative view of my own Cai Orufrey Canon one time. btw im a big monoshipper and it hurt a bit#let's leave it there. this is surely the most i've worked on a 'single' art - though now i realise just how much longer the fic took :')
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gm_liminal_commercial
created by RileySV
#garry's mod#gmod#source engine#half life 2#sandbox#hearted#a car in the parking lot. no evident signs of life aside from your presence. the lights and heating in here are on. external doors locked#some stores are still in states of occupation but clearly none of them are actually doing business anymore#where are you? why are you here?#maybe you're in a weird vestigial janitor's position— showing up to move odds and ends out and make sure no one's broken in#maybe just a very boring security job for the last couple weeks#maybe (and this is a stretch) you work in the diner downstairs that still seems to be at least *approaching* functional?#most appealing idea to me is just being someone walking home from work/school and finding one of the front doors left propped open#you stop in and can't help but wander the still-furnished stores and marvel at the stillness#there's a threatening feeling when these liminal maps block or lock exit doors that feels very obvious and it's not entirely missing here#but it doesn't feel like very *present* danger? i can't help but compare it to sneaking through an abandoned building#you're not really in any danger aside from maybe getting told off by a security guard who probably doesn't care#but this map inspires way more positive comfy feelings in me than it does any fear. it's a callback to the urbexing teen years i didn't hav#and a reminder of just how much dead retail space now pockmarks my neck of the woods
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Hello everyone, I really don't like asking for it, but it's undeniable that me and my housemates could use some help. We live in a very conservative area, and all of us are visibly queer. We're trying to raise funds to move somewhere safer, but the only way I can earn income safely is through art, as I've been threatened or put in harm's way due to my apparent trans-ness at every place I've worked at. My roommates face similar tribulations, living in the public eye here is simply unsustainable. There's more info on the going-ons of our situation in the gofundme, but if you can't afford to donate, sharing this post, my commission post, or the gofundme on my other social medias does so much in the way of getting us out of here.
if you'd rather donate directly, my paypal and kofi.
We are extremely appreciative of any help we can get, shares makes a huge difference.
AND, for your time, an image of our cat, Mr Mayor, who you would also be benefiting.
Thank you.
#ah. a huge part of why i've backed out of online social spaces n haven't been posting as much all around is what's goin on here.#i've been doing better now that there's a prospective move on the horizon#but i hope to be making art for yall at a regular ish pace again soon#ironically i finished this gofundme yesterday. which. was the day i got called a tr*nny while minding my business in a taco bell. if that u#puts any more emphasis on how conservative of an area we're in#from the bottom of my heart#thank you for reading.#trans#transgender#gofundme#crowdfund#please help#signal boost#lgbtq#queer#i'm not sure what else to tag#help ?#aah
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shout out object shows with canon queer ships. I'm talking on screen kiss or even just verbal confirmation. all things considered it's a bit strange you don't really see them that much when you think about how gay everyone here is. I love you ii but c2bc did what you didn't and I think that's actually really nice.
#girl makes claims when there's 1 more ep for ii and many more for c2bc. police arrest her.#inanimate insanity#ii#osc#silver's mental breakdown#c2bc#c2bc spoilers#do we do that here or what#fireball c2bc#pound c2bc#i always misread his tag as pound cake. i am but a fool#also is firepound mildly fanbrush coded ir am i kind of losing it. it's someone and pb. because fireball is very pb coded. inspired? somethi#ng. also c2bc totally takes influences from ii and we all noticed that right. it's not a bad thing. ii is my favorite show. but like. “im nb#.“ ik there was like no other way to say it but that's exactly what pb says in s3. ”he wants to make a boys club!“ ”im nb.“ ”i mean... a no#girls club!!!!“ i think i lile c2bc but im bot 100% sure? i saw someone comment that all the chars are likeable but like. speaker isn't!! st#op bullying my girl corky!! she's literally not that bad! don't get me started on beerkeg. i dont feel bad that he was manipped bcus like. d#ude she said no. leave ger alone#!!#i dont feel bad for him at all snd even cheered when princess hat (?) started using him even though it was not the greatest move and not sup#er healthy. s2's cast is still mych better though. justice for portal though!!!!!!! gone too soon. i kinda shipped. princess hat (?) and tap#e measure in s1 btw i never told anyone that but I did think it. service bell is like a taco i like mych less. and shout out firepound and m#mirror book. pretty crazy how gay objects can just live in my head and i let them do that. anyways sorry for writing a whole nother post in#the tags i just haven't shared my thoughts yet and wanted to lol.#i like it i think#firepound#<- oh hey look gay people
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YEAH 100%
YOUAERE My FUCKIGN GI>RLFREIONGD
#I love whispangle#also I am almost 100% sure I’m staying here#really sad I had to move from twitter#it meant a lot to me and I hope I can gain at least a decent amount of my following back#starting over again is hard#but ig it’s how the cookie crumbles#ANYWAYS uhhh cute whispangle art for you guys#whisper the wolf#tangle the lemur#whispangle#idw sonic#sonic idw#furry#furry art#sonic the hedgehog#artists on tumblr
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hi.
#i know most of you didn’t even realize i was gone#but man…#my mental health was like in a state of 📉📉📉 in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3#it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere#like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july#which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault#i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY#anyways i couldn’t shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like#flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation#i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D#and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen#it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold#(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes 🥲)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all#like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love#ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place#anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls#and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE#he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual#i’m still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now#i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3#AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks#@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3
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the coolest kids in forgotten valley!!☆
(…it seems there may have been a stretch of time where rock and lumina were the only kids in forgotten valley…🥲)
poseref
#in the remake hugh and the player’s kid are the same number of years apart#so i can see them having very similar conversations n friendship#surely these two kids will grow up well adjusted and they will have no lasting effects from this kind of isolation. they will be fine#i have been thinking a lot about what their childhoods were like. i want to protect both of them#everyone who has anything to say about them as kids says that both of them were not well behaved children at all#tei says rock was rambunctious and energetic and hard to handle. sebastian says lumina was less than amenable#rock says he was bored to death when he first came here and lumina asks you not to tell romana that she’s lonely#lumina also hated wearing dresses so. she is very mad and ready to bite people maybe#sos awl#bokumono#my art#rock tumbling (sos)#harvest moon#story of seasons#story of seasons a wonderful life#bokujou monogatari#i like to imagine a au where pony and cecilia come to visit their family’s respective farms#so these two can have more friends ;w;#i am always thinking about how they were both severed from their families and taken in by someone else at a young age to live in nowhere#and they are both not exactly enthused about following the path laid out for them#headcanon ⚠️ i wonder if rock’s moving out on his own happened when he was a teenager. he was extremely confident everything would work out#anyway he got fired from every job ever and after many years came crawling back. and he came crawling back blond#at the time of chapter 1 lumina is baffled by the state of the guy she grew up with. why is he using dated slang and wearing disco costume#she is also kind of mad at him for having been gone for so long#hc rock probably had more freedom as a kid than lumina did which probably annoyed her#once again takakura retrieves a small rock from the goddess pond and he’s covered in poison ivy bee stings etc. no remorse#lumina from her window on the hill feels somehow jealous of these misadventures#lumina mentions in her heart event that she doesn’t often visit the beach because her skin burns easily#meanwhile rock was probably playing outside always. if his kid is any indication#idk i like thinking about the history of this extremely small village
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SHUT UPPPPPP ABOUT THE TROP ELVES NOT BEING ELVISH ENOUGH SHUT UPPPPPP ABOUT THE TROP ELVES NOT BEING ELVISH ENOUGH
listen i love the vibes the pj trilogy elves gave off in the movies but having a solid chunk of your main cast looking very detached and spending 78% (with an additional 21% if they're female) of their screentime mogging the camera completely devoid of expression or apathetically gliding in slow motion to-and-fro offering occasional cryptic advice to the mortal characters just.. Would Not Work. unfortunately.
morfydd clark's constant scrunched up >:{ faces are not un-elvish you are just accustomed to seeing liv tyler deliver lines with her features carved from marble. also what happened to "people who think the elves are chill hippies should read the silm they're actually so crazy irrational and homicidal" OH BUT WHEN IT'S A DEADBEAT MOM IN A TUNIC AND MEDIEVAL PANTS,
#i know trop hate is still out there but i thought we'd have moved on from this one by now#it's the sort of stupidly sexist shit im desensitised to on twitter but it always catches me off guard here#a lot of the criticism i see on tumblr is pretty valid and then i get hit with someone just being cruel about people's physical appearances#or ageism#or sexism#or sexism disguised as feminism(?)#like sure talk to me about how stupid it is to have a character named mirdania when you've hired tolkien linguists#but unironically dropping a meta post with guyladriel or girlbossified used in every other sentence??#mama there's a bigot inside of you 💜#galadriel#rings of power#mine
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Alright-y, so in case anyone missed it, we've recently gotten some information from Quackity that he's most likely doing some new project, that seems to involve multiple languages, once again. Kinda like QSMP?
Maybe EXACTLY like QSMP…????
Or maybe not
Basically, the way I see it, it is pretty likely that this is QSMP-Related, what with the images that he's been posting recently, with the GODDAMN EYE GUY
However, even if it is QSMP-related, there is something that would need to be addressed
And that's that it's incredibly unlikely we'd be getting QSMP back in the form we knew it as
Honestly, I don't really see many of the Admins returning, Egg or otherwise. Whether it's by their own choice, or the choice of the powers-that-be. And I think we all know that all the Admins, Egg or otherwise, were a huge part of what made QSMP special
In addition to that, there's also a chance that with that sort of outcome, a lot of the Creators wouldn't be coming back either. I could kinda see some of them not returning even if the Admins DO come back. I know a few of them had more sour experiences with QSMP than others did, and I couldn't really blame them for not wanting to give it another shot
So even if this is QSMP, there's a HIGH chance it won't be the same server we knew
But I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. After all, I'm pretty sure the Eggs weren't initially MEANT to be as big as they were, which means that there HAD to be some plans for other stuff at one point or another
Hopefully…
Now obviously this is ALLL just, as usual, ✧˚⊹SPECULATION~!⊹˚✧
I'm not a psychic, and I don't know jack-all about what's been going on behind the scenes regarding QSMP or anything Quackity-related. I'm just making educated guesses and reminding everyone to temper their expectations, and try not to be too disappointed if this isn't exactly what you were hoping for
Because even if it isn't, I think it could still be something pretty fun, and I'll probably at least give it a chance regardless of whatever it winds up being
(Except maybe Purgatory 3, because I think I had enough of those vibes during my recent Purgatory 1 Re-Watch)
…
(Oh who am I kidding I'd probably end up checking out Purgatory 3 at least once I have a problem okay???)
#Personally I'm not sure I could be as invested if certain creators didn't come back#Namely Philza#Do I think for sure he wouldn't return?#Idk#But he didn't show up for the finale for reasons unknown#And that kinda makes me think he isn't likely to join back up#Though I could very easily be wrong#Or have just missed whatever reasoning he gave for not being there#Not to mention a lot of the other creators had their own lore finales#That they'd have to essentially undercut if they wanted to return#And of course there's the treatment that a lot of the (specifically French) Creators got#Like I'm pretty sure Baghera was consistently having troubles for one reason or another#Whether it was because of fans#Or just certain stuff going on in the server#A lot of the other French Creators got a lot of harassment too#With I think Aypierre (or Antoine) leaving twitter just a couple days ago because of it#Not to say it was limited to JUST the French Creators#I know that there was a lot of vitriol for the Portuguese-speaking part of the fandom at one point and that SUCKED to see go down#I guess at the end of the day there's a lot of room for negativity#And there was a lot of negativity in general that could influence how things go from here#But there were some good things too#So I think we just need to make sure to acknowledge both the good and the bad moving forward#If there is a forward from here#Guess we'll see huh??#qsmp
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You guys know the little joke about fanfiction with like, authors losing track of what position the characters are in, so they end up moving all over the place throughout a scene?
I think I’m creating the exact opposite problem for myself rn. and I’m spending wayyyy too much time worrying about exactly how Mercy and Moira are circling each other around this room in this scene.
Like. DAYS worth of pondering.
#look it’s a very important but relatively short sequence. in a small space.#I need to make sure everyone can see everything I want them to see#mercy in general moves around so fucking much. I never write dialogue for her without her doing something —#lots of gesturing and body language and stuff. she’s animated.#and I know damn well she’s hyper alert for how to make a quick exit. which means.#Moira needs to move away from the door. but not enough to alert Angela—#Angela isn’t very lucid in this scene. she’ll move whereever mercy moves her#but where does mercy move her when Moira arrives ……#I hate to say it but a swivel chair might be the solution here.
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+3 friendship with Jin Ling: He actively tries to dissuade you from further embroiling yourself in the homosexual allegations.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#jin ling#jiang cheng#nie huaisang#For real though it's so sweet how desperate he sounds when trying to save mxy's face.#Jin Ling genuinely likes this uncle! He's let him into his heart!#Why his uncle is so desperate to make his reputation worse is beyond him!!!#The same uncle who has time and time again proven to be genuine in his intentions and has been there for JL in so many ways!#JL wants to return the favour! Alas it is like holding a dog back from eating the onion chips on the ground.#I sure hope nothing betrays jin ling's trust in this new bond!#(and yes I am keeping NHS and JC's sleep wear in the next scenes. For the whimsy)#In other news - LWJ finally gets a little hand hold. Most likely it was a highfive that lasted a little too long.#But it counts okay? To him it counts.#Speaking of: I went sooooo long in life not realizing the 'hee hee let's compare hand sizes' was a flirt move.#I thought people were just genuinely curious about fingers and hands. But no. It's not that. It's a hand hold move.#I'm here for the science and research. You are here to flirt. We are not the same.
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#been trying to figure out how to ‘discern God’s Will’ for years now#and think somethings finally starting to hit me#went through this phase where it was like I know God’s Will because he has Revealed it to me (wrong)#or at least like. it’s not like here is a prophetic dream of all your future and now you must make sure your decisions line up with that#<-not how it works#then I went through this phase like how can I make Any decision if I don’t know the exact decision God would have me make here? i don’t have#the roadmap how do I know which way to turn?#<-contrary to popular belief life is NOT a Highway#then I went through a phase like oh! i have to be ok not knowing and trust God! leave that all to him and just do the thing in front of me!#<-yes!! but also. still leaves me incapable of making decisions#but now I’m getting to this construct:#for trying to make decisions:#1. orient your desires toward pleasing God#ie. hm. what can I do to please God?#note: this means what can I do to *please God* as in what pleases him?#what kinds of things are good what does he like?#2. oh! he likes these kinds of things I know (from what he’s told us) so what can *I* do to please God#based on what my skills and passions and circumstances are#in my unique way how can I please God?#and then 3. pursue some of those things and let God close and open doors as he will#and work to be content which is much easier when your goal is just to please him! like a lover their beloved or a child their parent#cause if that doesn’t please Him then it’s contrary to your goal and you don’t mind losing it so much#*this is all in a case of open ended decisions especially#cause obviously if it’s a good choice or a bad choice you should do the right thing that’s God’s will#but when it’s like jobs or moves or spouses of restaurants or whatever#God’s not a fortune cookie! you can’t anticipate his providence and make it happen yourself!#he’s *providing* it as you go! unbeknownst to you generally!#anyways! that’s where I’m landing#what can I do to *please God*. what can *I* do to please God. what *can* I do to please God
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Hey if you're a white person (as I am too!) and reading the stuff about End OTW Racism (@end-otw-racism) is making you uncomfortable CONGRATULATIONS THATS THE POINT bipoc have been uncomfortable in fandom for decades and some of yall can't face being uncomfortable for five seconds and still have the gall to have shit like BLM in your descriptions.
Put your money where your mouth is. Be uncomfortable. Actually read what they're talking about and what changes they're proposing instead of jumping right to BuT wHaT aBoUt My DaRk FiC (they want to protect your dark fic and help ensure you're safer from harassment over it!)and ThEy'Re PrO-cEnSoRsHiP (they are explicitly not).
I'm so fucking tired of having my posts and those I reblog on this topic largely ignored on my personal account, but ESPECIALLY I'm furious about how ignored posts on racism in fandom are when I put them on the danmei art sideblogs.
I see racism every single fucking DAY as part of running those accounts. This isn't some nebulous thing happening elsewhere, this is us!
If you don't care, I really need you to take a long hard look in the mirror and ask yourself WHY DONT I CARE?
Because YOU SHOULD FUCKING CARE.
#unforth rambles#end racism in the otw#end otw racism#i was already at my breaking point on this issue a month ago when i started talking more about microaggressions in the mdzs tag#now seeing how impossible it is to get people to give a shit ive moved to fucking FURIOUS#WHY ARENT MORE PEOPLE ANGRY I DONT UNDERSTAND#(i do understand#its racism taking rhe form of complacency and disinterest#from people who have the privilege to ignore it because it makes them uncomfortable and doesnt harm them directly#im honestly gettibg so disgusted#do better white fandom)#im a jewish white woman with biracial kids#it horrifies me to realize that im genuinely not sure if the circles im in would be safe for my half black kids to join#im genuinely not sure i can let my kids join fandom when they get old enough#for fear of what they'll be exposed to here#do yall even realize what a fucking indictment that is?#note this is mostly not aimed at my mutuals#yall are awesome and ilu#but i only have about 75 mutuals#what about the rest of my 1900 followers like wtf guys
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1.06 / 2.09 (33)
#the way they both cling to their families while in distress#their families are their most cherished people that they somehow can't reach#Hürrem has literally lost them long ago#while Ibrahim has reunited with them and has placed them close to him due to his own love for them and his position in the castle#but it's precisely that same position that distances him from them and *will* distance him from them even *more* down the line#the reactions here also reveal how Hürrem and Ibrahim view death#Hürrem embraces it because she's lost so much already#they always want to separate her from the family she has and the family she's built in some way#and it's like they succeeded here - it has already happened - she's taken from Süleiman the only other person she could latch onto and from#her child she was going to have from SS that would show that she was actually going to keep on that she can't be separated from her family#*this time* not so easily but it's over it's done it seems so let her go to her mother and father at least let her return to them#let her reunite with them that's all she can have after she's already dead#after she's failed and the evil in the palace has seemingly taken over - in her E01 dream it was *they* who made her push forward#in order to commemorate them in the first place; she doesn't mention her sister tho even though she was there in the dream too#and I think that's because at this point Hürrem searches for protection for *help* and her parental figures can provide that to her#more than anyone else; namely they guided her in her dream mainly her mother so she goes first#it all also goes to show how her latching onto SS is a gradual process as she calls him only later#Ibrahim clings to life as embracing death would indeed mean losing absolutely everything completely#*fully* separating from his family he returned to found and reunited with after he wasn't sure about whether it's even possible#and what's more he has both his past and current family in front of him in the present; he can't let that go he *won't* let that go#so he urges his father and Niko not to leave him as in not to let him give up to help him in the fight he thinks he can still win#but he doesn't mention his mother namely because she isn't there in that picture she's fully gone and already symbolizes#a more distant past that wounds Ibrahim too much and he comes to want to evade as this ep is soon after#his scandal with Hatice; no wonder she appears in E44 and urges him to go home thus to go back as he wants to move on so badly#more subconsciously than even the usual#magnificent century#muhteşem yüzyıl#muhtesem yuzyil#hurrem sultan#ibrahim pasha
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If it's okay with you, could you write a drabble about the hypothetical aftermath of Amane getting attacked by Kotoko?
Welp thank you pal for making me absolutely insane with this request 👍 I ran through a few hypotheticals and realized I had to shift some things around since there were so many absolutely tragic outcomes. I worked something out but damn if it didn’t make me emotional to think about how uniquely rough Amane has it. Even making sure she's in a good place at the end, this got pretty serious, so warnings for child abuse and cult references.
(So in canon, Kotoko goes in order and attacks Fuuta, but Kazui steps in. Then she attacks Mahiru while he’s distracted with his injuries. She’s about to attack Amane, but Mikoto gets in the way (my hc that he did it on purpose survives!). By the time they reach a draw, Kazui is back, and the two of them can prevent Kotoko from any further action against Amane. Sticking to this apparent system of three attacks and one rescue, I’m just shuffling around the injuries for this story. Fuuta’s attack went unnoticed, and he’s in the same state as canon Mahiru. Mikoto steps in before Kotoko can fight Mahiru, so Mappi’s the one who get out physically unscathed. While Mikoto checks on Mahiru, recovers himself, or discovers Fuuta, Kotoko is able to attack Amane next. Kazui comes to help, but not before she leaves Amane looking like canon Fuuta.)
Mahiru could practically feel her heart shatter into a million pieces when Amane finally cried in front of her. She hadn’t shed a single tear yesterday – it was the shock, Shidou said. Mahiru was skeptical. After all, she had been shocked, too, and cried plenty.
Amane woke as she came in with breakfast. She took a moment to survey herself, bandages peeking out from beneath her pajamas and an eyepatch securely over her right eye. As calmly as one might say “good morning,” she started to cry. Mahiru might have missed it, if Amane hadn’t wiped at her good eye with her sleeve.
“Oh, sweetheart…!” Mahiru rushed over to her. “It’s okay, I’m here.” She wanted nothing more than to wrap the girl in a secure embrace, but she remembered the mass of bandages that were around her chest. Shidou had mentioned broken ribs and bruises. It took everything in her not to cry along with Amane, at the thought.
“I can get you another ice pack, if you need. Or more medicine.” Her mind spun with ways to help with pain. Many of the first aid supplies had been used to keep Fuuta from the brink of death, but surely there were extras to spare for Amane.
The girl just shook her head.
She muttered, “I can’t… I…I’m going to be punished, I’m going to be punished…”
“No! You’re safe now.” Mahiru placed her hands gently on Amane’s arms. “Kotoko’s not coming back. We’re all watching over you. You’re safe. She’s not going to hurt you anymore.”
“That’s not…” Amane pulled away. Her voice stayed level, despite hiccups interrupting her. A hand reached up to her eyepatch. “It’s this. It’s all of this. It’s sinful. I took it off last night, but he must have…” She started unwrapping it. “They’re going to punish me...”
With a careful motion, Mahiru held it in place and took Amane’s hands into her own. She’d been picking up on the signs ever since they arrived here together, and a final wave of understanding washed over her.
“I can’t let you do that.”
Amane’s expression twisted, though words came out far more frantic than fiery. “Let me go.”
Mahiru didn’t. “I’m sorry. Amane, you need this treatment.”
“That is not your decision to make. That is not any human’s decision to make.”
Mahiru pressed her lips together. “I know. But I can’t watch as you… I can’t sit by again while someone…” She was careful not to apply any pressure, but she could no longer fight the urge to gather Amane up in her arms. “You don’t need to be afraid of those people, anymore.”
“I’m not afraid.” Amane hiccuped. “They love me, and I love them. I need to be good for them.”
“I love you, and I don’t want to see you in pain.”
“You just pity me because I’m young.”
“Why does your age matter? You are a lovely young woman – you are my friend – and I can’t bear to see you in pain.”
The two sat in silence for a moment. Mahiru doubted she would take that as an answer; Amane had refused to call any of the others her friend. At least she didn’t argue. In fact, it seemed she was leaning into the embrace a bit more. She sighed a shaky breath into Mahiru’s uniform.
“Listen, Amane. Can you do me a favor? I’m trying to be a good girl, too. To make up for something awful, I need to make sure you’re alright. Can you help me? Can we be good together?”
A long pause followed. Amane’s voice spoke up, ever so gently.
“I suppose I can consider it.” She added quickly, “for the sake of your redemption. Of course.”
“Of course.”
#milgram#amane momose#mahiru shiina#thank you so much! i dont want to be bubbly on such a serious drabble but i want to give an enthusiastic thanks because this one really got#the gears turning!!#i started making plans as soon as i saw the ask and it took so long finding something that wouldnt result in straight up tragedy :(#if i kept to the initial timeline and said kazui didnt step in until amanes attack then both fuuta and mahiru would be close to death#and given there seems to limited supplies i think one of them would have died if shidou needed to treat three critical patients#so i moved people around to make sure everyone survived#which brought me to the main problem of amane self sabotaging her medical care#even minor injuries could have resulted in death if she got her way and removed bandages/refused treatment#but the mental strain of keeping the treatment would be just as bad as the physical pain -- shed be paranoid 24/7 of#divine punishment and repeating the mistakes that led her here.... it would hurt more to be forced like that#so i needed someone to be able to get through to her gently#but the only one who shes been able to trust just got the shit beat out of him and is in no position to talk!!!!#everyone else would just make her more upset or not know how to convince her the right way :(#still - i think mahiru could do it the best! with her own trauma from allowing loved ones to die in front of her i think shed be motivated#so. yeah.#i know amane is supposed to be talking in the plural pronoun now but i couldnt get it to work - lets just say that kicks in soon after this#tw cults#tw child abuse#drabbles
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