#if a friend does this. if a stranger does this. if you do this. those all merit different responses i think!

[parfaitblogs]

pretty isn't pretty ❀ s. reid x reader

in which the man you take home drunk meets the person you are sober, and he's all too forgiving for a stranger you'll probably only see once. 

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader genre: fluff (18+ for suggestive content) tags: alcohol consumption. reader has a bad relationship with her body. elusions to a hookup.  word count: 2.2k a/n: this isn't ooc for spencer reid you've just never hooked up with him. and that's ok. but i have. happy valentine's day from australia!! yay!!

"love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind. and therefore is winged cupid blind." (a midsummer night's dream, william shakespeare)

There's a downpour of rain that came on so suddenly it had shocked you and your friends into a nearby bar. Droplets splattering against pavement and bouncing up to your otherwise exposed ankles. A skirt a poor choice of clothing for the cool air of a February night. 

The bar is small. You're sure if you concentrated hard enough, you could indulge yourself in each and every conversation happening around it. Men by the pool table succeeding at impressing the three girls they had found; gloating about their skills. An older couple huddled up in the back corner of the bar, two barely touched beers between them. A group of friends similar to your own occupying a booth and laughing louder than anyone else in the bar. 

A man. Alone. A glass of clear liquid that looks like water — but surely not? — between his hands, and a bartender talking to him and preparing more drinks. 

You connect the man to the group of people in the booth, for he turns his head and stares at them for a few seconds, lips moving as he counts them up. 

Then, his head turns to investigate the sudden rush of cold air entering the bar, and he meets your eyes. Newfound confidence — or the final tequila shot you took during pre's — kicks in, and your feet are carrying you over to him, a mere locking of a gaze inviting you in. You think. 

Maybe you're tipsier than you thought. 

"Do you need a hand with those?" you ask him, nodding your head towards the six glasses all filled to the brim, resting atop the bar. 

He hesitates, and glances back at the group of people in the booth, who are less concerned with him now that another conversation has piqued their interest. 

"If you're offering," he nods, picking up two of the glasses. "Though, it isn't wise of me to let a stranger handle my friends' drinks."

"You can pat me down first if you want," you reply, holding your arms out, as if you were in TSA. "See for yourself, officer."

He chokes on nothing, his eyes wide, and a coughing fit ensues for several seconds after. "It's—um, agent. Actually."

Your eyebrows shoot up, and your hands drop back by your side when he doesn't move to check for illicit substances on your person. You assume that means he trusts you.

"That's fancy," you quip, picking up three of the glasses. "What makes you an agent?"

"Working for the government," he replies, leading you over to the table, where you help him put the drinks on the table. "I left my water at the bar."

An expert excuse to drag you away from his group of friends before they have a chance to engage with you, really. 

"Working for the government," you parrot back to him, leaning against the bar when he does. "Do I get to ask more questions, or is it your turn now?"

"You can ask more questions."

He tells you his name when you ask. You tell him yours. 

And more questions got you drunk. More questions got you dragging him back to your apartment. More questions got you barely picking your feet up as you walk backwards, stumbling, as his lips kiss your own, and his hands hold your waist against his. 

Your hands fumble with the door handle of your bedroom, and you take the few seconds to silently pray to the universe that the girl who left the house earlier didn't leave fifteen failed outfit options strewn throughout it. 

You don't get a chance to turn around and check, for his lips are back on yours the second the door swings open, and he takes barely a moment to locate your bed in the room. If there are clothes everywhere, he doesn't make it an issue. 

He was a really good kisser. Mind blackening, body tingling, head reeling good. Every sound that hit your ears came from your own lips, you're sure. 

He breaks the kiss only to murmur, "Sorry," when the backs of your knees hit your bed frame, but you're a little too happy to care about the inevitable bruise currently forming on the skin there. 

Fingers of yours drag up to his scalp and entangle within his hair as you lay back on the bed, and he follows you down.

You force him to kiss you. Again. 

"Do you do this often?" you ask him, breathlessly, when he pulls away to litter his generous kisses over the skin of your jawline and neck.

"What?" he asks, hair covering his eyes as he pauses to look back up at you.

"Go home with girls from bars."

"Will you believe me if I say you're the first?" he moves back up to level his face with your own. 

"Probably not."

"You should."

You do.

Unfortunately, the question stemmed from the weird middle ground between being so drunk you don't remember five minutes ago, and being so sober you overthink every decision, accompanied by the sick crash from the sugar in your drinks. Which meant your liquid courage was dissipating with every ticking second, and you were retreating back into the secluded palace of your mind. 

It was why, when his fingers hook beneath the hem of your shirt, your own hands fly to stop him, wrapping around his wrists and freezing him in motion.

"What's wrong?" he asks. 

That causes you to freeze. 

You're not sure if telling this inherent stranger that you don't want him to take off your clothes because you're remembering why you don't do hookups and are suddenly feeling too insecure to want to sleep with him is a good idea. But there's something about the way his eyes are filled with so much concern, instead of the frustration you expected, that makes you want to spill every single secret you have out to him. 

"I'm... um..." you hesitate, and he leans back enough for you to crawl out from beneath him, hugging your knees to your chest as you do every self secluding human trait there is. From your eyes fixating on your bedding, to your fingers interlacing and fidgeting with each other. 

He doesn't rush you to talk. 

"I just... don't think I can do hookups. With strangers," you sigh, defeated. "I'm sorry I made you come all the way here for—well,��nothing."

He's still silent, and it's your eyes lifting to try and read his expression that triggers him into a response. 

"We don't have to have sex for me to enjoy your presence," he replies. "I enjoyed talking to you."

"Yeah, but—" you force air through your nose to stop yourself from scaring him off with a verbal rant "—you don't know me. Not really. You came home with me with the intent of sleeping with me. And now I'm telling you we can't do that, so you can go."

His eyes burn against your skin as he studies you. "Do you want me to leave?"

The answer should be yes. You don't know this man, and he does not know you. Yet, there's a clawing need to ask him to stay. So you can get to know him, and him, you.

"No," you fidget with your fingers again. He chooses not to stop you. "I liked talking to you too."

"Great," he picks his feet up and crosses them on your bed. You hope your cringing at his shoes on your bedding isn't visible. "Can I ask why you don't do hookups?"

"So you can read my mind?" you quip, and his lips twitch into a smile as he huffs. 

"Let it go."

"You can't tell me your job is to read minds and expect me to let it go."

"My job is to use behavioural analysis to build the profile of a criminal," he replies. "Not to read minds."

"Sounds exactly like something a mind reader would say," you bite down on your bottom lip to stop the dumb grin from spreading across your face at the way he's looking at you. Unimpressed, but ultimately amused. 

"Well, this isn't me trying to read your mind. There's many reasons why someone might not want to have sex. I want to know yours, so I know how to approach the topic in the future."

Your breathing stops, but you force yourself not to focus on the implications of his words. Excitement for a man you met that night was never wise. He could ghost you come tomorrow morning, you remind yourself. 

"It's kind of heavy," you say, lifting your gaze to look at him through cautious eyes. 

"I can do heavy."

You purse your lips. "I don't know," you stretch your legs out in front of him. He takes them and sets them in his lap, and your heart flutters. "I don't like the idea of someone I don't know seeing me naked."

Hands ghost over your skin. "Why?"

Your head lowers to your fidgeting hands. "I'm just not happy with how I look, I guess? If somebody doesn't know me for my personality, they don't have anything to stick around for if they see me the way I see myself. Not to say I have a stellar personality. But I'd like to have at least one redeeming quality. Because... my body... isn't..." your voice is small by the time you finish, and you're skeptical as you face your fears to stare up at him once more. 

He visibly swallows, and you regret every word that had just left your mouth within seconds. So much for the whole not scaring him off thing.

"You don't have to say anything," you break the silence that only lasted a few seconds, anyways. "It's a weird personal thing. I'm fine with having sex with partners. Obviously. It's just strangers."

"I think," he pauses, and his hands stop their stroking on your legs as he strings together his words. "I think you're with people that are too shallow if they don't still want you after seeing your body."

"Well—um, nobody's actually ghosted me after sleeping with me..."

And now you feel dumb. Admitting to having an insecurity that's entirely baseless is dumb. He's probably turning over the very thought that you're dumb inside his head, and formulating a plan to get out of here, and—

"I get it," he surprises you instead. "But in the opposite way. My personality isn't for everyone. Or anyone, is a better way to put it."

"I like your personality," you tilt your head to the side.

He smiles weakly at your attempt of reassurance. "You've known me for one night. And you were drunk for most of it."

"So I'm not allowed to like your personality?" you challenge. "Isn't there something about not needing much time to know whether or not you like someone?"

"Sort of. We can determine a few things about people within those first few seconds, but they aren't set in stone forever. What you like now, might become annoying in a few months time," he says. 

"I don't think I'll find you annoying in a few months time," you murmur.

"And I don't think I'll dislike your body. But you won't believe me, and I won't believe you," he counters. "Make sense?"

"Yeah," you nod. "Is this some weird mind reading thing to manipulate me into sleeping with you?"

"No, because I can't read minds," he shoots you a look, "and I also don't care about having sex with you tonight. I can wait."

He can wait. You hope you don't look stupid smiling at the concept of him waiting for you, implying he will be here for more than just one night. 

"I think a psyche evaluation for a first date is kind of insane," you say.

"I can make it up to you?" he offers, and you stare with keen interest. "We can go get coffee. Or something. I won't analyse your behaviour during it."

"That doesn't close off the possibility of you reading my mind, though."

"What would I find?" he then asks, throwing you off balance. 

"If you read my mind?" he nods at your question. "Um... a lot of insecurities, I think. My friends. Song lyrics. My favourite colour... what would I find in yours?"

"A lot," his hands drag along your shins. "I don't even know where to begin."

"It's the high as fuck IQ," you shake your head, dismissively; jokingly. "I hate it. Stop thinking."

"I do with you, I think. Well, I haven't really thought about much else other than you. Which isn't common. I can usually split my attention well."

"Is it because you can't split it, or don't want to?" you ask him.

"Both. I'm quite content just listening to and thinking about you."

You duck your head as a smile paints your lips. "Welcome to normal brains."

"Thank you. I don't mind them."

"Give it a few weeks."

His shoulders shake as he laughs, and you think the sight is wonderful, and you're easing back up post anxiety. You have to applaud him for doing it so quickly, and so well.

Laughter and the positive tension between you two dies down, and you're left looking at him with fond eyes and the same stupid smile on your face. All while he's staring back at you, and you're sure you can see his attention fail to stay on your eyes, for his gaze keeps dropping to your lips.

"I haven't thought about much but you, too," you say. 

He kisses you.

your reblogs and replies are always appreciated ♡

[berfgrimm]

no hands | choi su-bong (thanos) x reader

pairing: choi su-bong (thanos) x f!reader

warnings: smut, unprotected sex, praise kink, sextape (kinda? whoops), mentions of violence, very brief allusion to suicide, vaping, semi-public, fluff.

note: surprise for all of us, because i was worried I wouldn’t be able to post again so quickly lol. this was technically a request that i think i tweaked a little after someone sent that one tiktok a few days ago.

———————

You can already feel his eyes on you from across the club, burning into the back of your head. You spare a casual glance over your shoulder to see if your senses were correct and, yeah, he’s staring. His jaw is set firmly in place, scowling at you, his vape clutched in his hand so hard that you feel it could break. He’s definitely pissed off.

Initially, you aren’t sure what exactly it is that you’ve done to set him off like this. All you’re doing is ordering another drink at the bar, and talking idly to another patron. Maybe that’s what it is? Is he jealous?

This guy who stands next to you, talking about how he loves coming to this club, is just that: a guy. He’s not your type, by any means. He seems annoying and frankly boring, but you are nothing if not polite, so you humor his conversation.

“I love it here, too,” you smile, focusing on the man in front of you again.

“You come here a lot,” he says, resting his arm on the bar to lean a little closer towards you. “I’ve seen you here before.”

“I feel like we should buy stock in the place, we’re here so often,” you laugh.

“‘We’?” the man asks.

“Me and my boyfriend,” you say, weakly gesturing behind you. “And his friends, usually.”

“Ah, boyfriend,” he nods, a look of disappointment on his face. “I should have come over to speak with you the first night I saw you. Maybe we could have changed that.”

“Oh,” you say, simply. You’re thankful for the dim lighting in the club because you’re sure that you blush when it hits you that he’s flirting with you, and you’ve been foolishly welcoming it.

“You know, we still could change it,” the man continues. “Which one is your boyfriend? I can win in a fight, I’m sure.” You scoff at his claim, because there’s no way this guy could take your boyfriend on and win without any extenuating circumstances in play.

“Sorry,” you say, still finding yourself trapped by your instinct to be polite. “I doubt that you could. He likes to fight.”

It’s not untrue; Su-bong has gotten into several physical altercations since you’ve been with him, but it wasn’t as though he sought them out. It sounds silly when you say it out loud, so you break eye contact with him and look at the bartender, checking on your drink.

“I should get back soon…” you say. “I’m sure they’re wondering where I am.”

“Am I making you nervous?” the man asks, taking a small step closer to you. “Or is your boyfriend one of those guys who needs to know where you are at all times?” You laugh, as the bartender sets your drink on the bar in front of you.

Su-bong does not control you like this stranger implies. He has a healthy amount of jealousy within him, but he doesn’t often let it out. Generally, if he catches another guy so much as looking in your direction, he will pull you closer or hold you tighter as a reminder. But men have never flirted openly with you in front of him.

“Is he?” the man pushes.

He’s not aggressive, thankfully, but more persistent in his advances. Foolishly, you haven’t given him any obvious signs of disinterest, though you thought that mentioning your boyfriend would have been indication enough. Even if you weren’t with Su-bong, you would not be interested in pursuing anything with this man — now if you could only make that clear to him.

“No, I guess not,” you say, with a laugh, unsure of how to react beyond maintaining your politeness.

“MG Coin.” Your boyfriend’s voice comes from behind you, and immediately he slips past you, placing himself in the space between yourself and the stranger. “You must not be thinking straight,” Su-bong says. “Do you need me to knock some sense into you again? We know how that went the last time you thought you could take something from me.”

Fuck, you think. This is Myung-gi.

You’d never seen him before, but you should have recognized his voice from how often you’d overhear Su-bong watching one of his videos. There was a time where you thought that you were going to lose your boyfriend to this guy, because he spent more time watching MG Coin videos than he did with you. Unfortunately, it took a significant financial loss for Su-bong to realize that it was a waste, but you were both past that, and moving to a happier life.

“I didn’t take anything from you before,” Myung-gi says. “You held out for more money.” You can notice from your position behind Su-bong that he immediately tenses up, so you place your hand on his back to try to calm him. “I never thought you’d have anything that I’d want,” Myung-gi continues, a small smirk on his lips. “But I have to say…I’m tempted.”

Su-bong straightens his back, trying to make himself look taller, but you grab a handful of his shirt to keep him from making a decision he’ll regret. He takes a hit of his vape, locked in a stare with Myung-gi, who shows no signs of backing down.

“What do you think?” Myung-gi asks, looking past Su-bong and locking his gaze onto you.

“Don’t look at her, look at me,” Su-bong says, firmly, catching the other man’s attention again. “You don’t get to look at her.” The tone of Su-bong’s voice is different. You know he’s a little jealous, but this is beyond him being territorial — he’s furious. “You should consider yourself lucky that she’s here,” Su-bong continues. “Right now, her hand on my back is the only thing keeping me from bouncing your head off of the floor.”

“Your attitude hasn’t changed since the last time I saw you,” Myung-gi laughs. “I almost missed this, Thanos.”

“Since you’re so busy pushing up on my girl, that must mean your little pregnant sweetheart must have finally ditched you.”

“I’m glad we’re able to have this chat, though,” Myung-gi says, with a smirk, not appearing to be affected by Su-bong’s jab. “After the games, I would have expected you to end up on that bridge again.”

“Hey!” you snap, reaching past Su-bong and shoving Myung-gi by his chest. He takes a few stumbled steps backwards, and you move past your boyfriend to place yourself between him and his enemy. “Do not talk to him like that,” you say. “You wanted to cause some problems tonight, well, now you get to experience my attitude.” Myung-gi appears a little stunned by the way you speak to him, but you continue. “I had zero interest in you from the start, so let’s clear that up first,” you say. “He already told you that I’m the only reason he hasn’t put his hands on you yet, and now I’m more inclined to let him do what he wants.”

“Hmm, well, aren’t you two perfect for each other,” Myung-gi laughs, shaking his head.

“That’s right!” Su-bong says, proudly, slinging his arm over you from behind and leaning forward to point at Myung-gi. “So, run along, MG Coin. Find someone else to scam.”

Su-bong waves his hand dismissively in Myung-gi’s face, and the other man rolls his eyes as he takes his leave. Su-bong leans harder against you, pulling you closer to him as you hear the crackling of him hitting his vape. You grab your drink from the bar, keeping your body relatively stiff to hold the extra weight your boyfriend has put on your shoulders. You take a sip of your drink, and set the glass down again just as Su-bong’s arm that is draped over you lifts so he can grasp your chin. You feel him stand upright again, and he tilts your head to the side so he can look into your eyes.

“That was sexy,” Su-bong mutters, pressing a kiss to your lips. “But you shouldn’t have been talking to him to begin with.”

“Oh, I’m not allowed to talk to other men?” you scoff, shoving his hand away from your face.

“Not ones I hate.”

“Well, make me a list of their names so I’ll know in the future,” you joke, trying to pull away, but Su-bong wraps his other arm around you now, trapping you against his body.

“Where you going, huh?” he mumbles, with his mouth against your ear. “Running after your new boyfriend or something?”

“Ya’know, maybe I should,” you reply, pushing his face away from you. “I bet he’ll dance with me, since you never want to.” Su-bong unwraps his arms from you, and grabs your drink from the bar, quickly drinking the rest and setting the glass back down.

“After you, my feisty girl.” you can hear Su-bong smirking as he speaks, standing behind you.

You make your way to the dance floor with your boyfriend hot on your trail. You settle on a spot near the edge of the crowd and Su-bong slides into place in front of you, his hands grabbing your hips to pull you against him immediately.

Su-bong likes showing up at this club when a specific DJ is there because he knows that he would play what he deemed ‘good music’. Tonight is one of those nights and you slowly begin to grind against your boyfriend to a song that hasn't been popular in at least ten years. Su-bong’s hands stay on your hips, but you know that won’t last long; he usually won’t dance with you at the club because he can’t contain himself when he feels you grinding on him. Judging from the look on his face, tonight is no different.

One of his hands presses to the small of your back, getting you even closer to him, and you can feel that he’s already starting to get hard. You press your hands against his chest and lick your lips, peering into his eyes with the most innocent look you can muster.

Su-bong smirks, leaning in towards you as if he’s going to kiss you, but you slip your tongue from your mouth and flick the tip over his lips to tease him. He bites his lip, but you can still see how wide he smirks, his eyes now dropping between your bodies to watch your hips sway.

One of Su-bong’s hands grasps your thigh, pulling your leg to pinning it against his hip so you can feel him getting harder. Your arms wrap around his midsection now, holding yourself closer to him so you can press yourself against his bulge.

“You’re hard already?” you ask, noticing Su-bong’s is fixated on your lips.

He doesn’t answer you, but instead pulls his cell phone from his pocket. He holds it above your heads at an angle so he can snap a picture of you both. Quickly, he releases your leg as the song overhead begins to transition into another one of his favorites. Su-bong spins you around and yanks your body against his again, pressing himself against your ass as he takes hold of your hips again.

You feel that he still has his phone in his hand, as it’s pressed to your hip, so you slip it from his grasp and start to record a video. You grind yourself against him harder now, putting on a show for the camera as you flutter your eyelashes. You can see in the phone screen that Su-bong watches between you bodies for a moment, his lips moving to the lyrics of the song. When he looks up at the camera, he flashes his middle finger, playing at being tough like he loves.

Su-bong’s arms wrap around your body, and he leans against your back, pressing his head against yours. You both continue to play it up for his camera: he sticks his tongue out and uses one hand to cup your breast over your shirt, while you reach behind you to grab his shirt to keep him snug against you.

You hand his phone to him and focus on your dancing. You get lost in the song, grinding and swaying, and when you don’t feel Su-bong’s hands on your hips you throw a glance over your shoulder to see him vaping while aiming the camera of the phone between your bodies.

“My girl’s nasty,” Su-bong says to the camera while laughing. He points the camera towards you and you place your hands on your knees, bumping and grinding harder against him. “Fuck, that’s good!”

When the song begins to transition again, you feel his hands snaking around your waist, pulling your back flush against him. One of his hands begins to work up the front of your skirt, and for a moment you allow him to think he’s being sneaky. When his fingers make contact with your panties, you grab both of his hands and lace your fingers together.

“C’mon, baby,” Su-bong laments. “I know you can feel how hard you’ve got me. No one’s looking, so we can just—”

“I’m not letting you finger me in public,” you say, reaching over your shoulder to place your hand on the back of his head, fingers threading through his short hair. He nudges your head so you angle to meet him for a kiss; Su-bong thinks that he’s sneaky, because you can feel his hand making another attempt to reach under your skirt. “If you keep trying,” you mutter against his lips. “I won’t let you touch me for a week.”

“You wouldn’t be able to make it even two days without begging me to touch you,” Su-bong laughs, and you can’t help but join him because he’s right. “You don’t want me to touch you right now because you got wet thinking about me stomping MG Coin’s head in,” he teases. “You liked watching me get jealous over you.”

“Your voice gets deeper when you’re jealous,” you whisper, nuzzling your head against his, still grinding against him, although not as voraciously.

One of Su-bong’s hands makes its way up your body, cradling your chin so he can hold you in place to kiss you again. When he breaks the kiss, he traces his fingers over your lips, and you can’t help yourself: you part your lips, hoping he takes the hint. With a smirk, he slips his index and middle fingers into your mouth, shallow, not even to his first knuckles. You keep your mouth open so he can watch you twirl your tongue around his digits; he can’t look away.

“Didn’t you drive us here tonight?” Su-bong asks, his voice deep and thick as your mouth now closes around his fingers, sucking softly.

“Mmhm,” you hum.

“I don’t think anybody will miss us…” he trails off, letting you come to your own conclusion as to what he’s implying. You smile around his fingers, slowly pulling them from your mouth. “Twenty minutes,” he adds, grinning.

You take hold of his hand, dragging him behind you through the club towards the exit. When you step outside, you become aware of how hot you are when the cold night air hits your skin; it makes you realize just how bad you want Su-bong. You both hurry across the street towards the parking structure, taking the stairs to the second floor where you parked, the whole time slapping Su-bong’s hands away from your thighs.

When you reach the car, Su-bong hurries into the backseat first, scooting over and motioning for you to follow. You immediately straddle him, grinding your now soaked panties against him, grabbing his face to pull him in for a kiss. You’re very aware of how hard you’re breathing against him, overwhelmed with desire for him. One of Su-bong’s hands rests on your hip, while the other slips between your thighs, pushing your panties to the side so he can touch your clit.

“Mmm,” you hum, breaking the kiss to look down at him. “I didn’t come out here for you to tease me.”

“I just wanted to make sure you’re ready for me, baby,” he chuckles, his other hand moving to free himself from his pants. “Shit, I don’t have a condom,” Su-bong says, the realization suddenly hitting him.

“I don’t care,” you say, reaching between your bodies and pulling your panties to the side to give him the access he needs. “Fuck me anyway.”

“I love you,” he laughs, guiding his cock inside of you. “Jesus, you always feel so good.”

“So do you,” you reply, placing your hands on his shoulders so you can settle down to bury him all the way inside of you. You stay still, feeling him throbbing inside of you, thick, causing you to ache; you sigh weakly because you could stay just like this for the rest of your life.

“Now who’s teasing?” Su-bong asks, slipping his hands up your shirt, pushing it above your breasts. “The way you’re clenching around me…”

“Can’t take it?” you tease, closing your eyes and licking your lips.

“You won’t be able to take what I’ll do to you if you keep this up,” Su-bong returns, and you both chuckle softly. You start to circle your hips in his lap, wide slow circles to get some friction to your clit. ��Come here,” he whispered, pressing his hand to your back to force you to lean towards him. He holds you there, and uses his free hand to tug the cup of your bra away from your breast so he can take your nipple into his mouth.

“Mmm, we can’t help but tease, can we?” you giggle. Su-bong hums in response, quickly switching to play with your other nipple now. You shift your hips forward now, then rock them back, wanting to feel him all over; the movement makes him pull back and settle against the seat again.

Su-bong, likely tired of the teasing, sets his hands onto your hips, urging you to lift off of him. You raise up until only his tip is left inside of you, and you give another circle of your hips, for one last tease. Su-bong laughs breathlessly, but yanks you down again, burying inside of you to the hilt. You moan, gripping his shoulders more firmly as he lifts you again only to bring you down harder.

“Let me do it, baby,” you whisper. “Let me take care of my man for coming to my rescue.” Su-bong gives a smug smirk, loosening his grip on your hips to allow you to take the lead.

You love this version of Su-bong. He gives you a taste of Thanos, smug and overconfident, and you give him what he wants: a girlfriend who is obsessed with him. It turns you on because it’s almost like a roleplay; sure, you love Su-bong, and you express your admiration for him often, but when you fawn over him, it’s different.

“Thank you for letting me ride you,” you whisper, very slowly starting to rock yourself back and forth in his lap. “I’m so lucky that I get to feel this big cock stretching me out.” The smirk on his face grows, his eyes trained in your lips while you speak. “Fuck, it feels so good,” you whine, making your voice sound needier.

“Yeah, I bet it does,” Su-bong mutters, yanking your hips faster so you can take the hint and start properly fucking him. “You love the way it makes you feel?”

“Mhm,” you hum, taking his hands and lacing your fingers together so you can use his hands for leverage to start moving faster. “No one makes me feel like this. No one can get me off like you do.” Su-bong pulls in a sharp breath, yanking you towards him and wrapping his arms around you so that he holds your arms behind your back with your bodies pressed together.

“I’d better be the only one getting you off,” he whispers, leaving a few soft bites on your jaw. “No one else is even allowed to look at you.” He speaks through his teeth and it makes your stomach flip.

“Are you gonna kick their ass if they do?” You rock your hips faster, shifting to put some weight onto Su-bong's thighs so you can get him deeper as you move.

“I’ll destroy them,” he breathes. “You’re all mine.”

You moan, because you picture it. Some scumbag laying on the ground beat to hell, with Su-bong standing over them, knuckles bloody and a split lip. It makes you giddy, almost feral thinking about him being so desperate to keep you to himself that he would fight someone. You’re sure that’s something to unpack later, but you have to stay in the moment where Su-bong pulls you forward to lean your torso against him.

“I felt you just now,” he breathes in your ear, letting go of your hands so you can brace yourself on the seat behind him. “Clenching because you were thinking about me fighting for you, weren’t you?” You whimper, nodding your head as you keep rocking your hips forward as best as you can at this new position.

Su-bong grabs the back of your thighs firmly, holding you still as he starts to thrust into you. All you can do is moan, dropping your head against his shoulder because he fucks you so deep like this. You breathe hard against him, moaning from deep inside of you.

“No one has ever fucked me like you can,” you mutter against his shirt, and he moves faster in response. You cup his cheek with one hand turning his head towards you so you can kiss him, feeling his moan rattle in your mouth.

Su-bong’s thrusts get sloppy, losing momentum. You break your kiss and sit up in his lap again so you can take over again. His hands rest on top of your thighs now, allowing you to control the pace at which you start to bounce in his lap.

“You’re so tight,” Su-bong groans. “You feel good like this. I don’t think I’m going to use a condom ever again.”

“The only way you can do that,” you begin, breathless as you still bounce on him. “Is if you’re not fucking anyone else.”

To be fair, you know he’s not sleeping with anyone else, and you have no issue with him not using a condom. But you want to keep playing, teasing. From the look on Su-bong’s face, a smug smirk and a quirked eyebrow, he feels the same.

“Hmm, I don’t know,” he says, as though he’s actually thinking about what you said. “I may not be able to make that promise. The ladies love to throw themselves at me, and I’m a gentleman.” You slow your movements until you stop, Su-bong halfway inside of you and a look of confusion.

“Maybe you’d rather have one of them finish you off then, ladies man.”

Su-bong grins now, realizing what you’re doing. When you begin to climb off of him, he grabs your thighs with both hands, flipping you over so you’re laying on your back, flat on the seat. He settles on his knees between your legs, supporting his weight on the back of the seat with one hand and the door of the car with the other.

“You called my bluff,” he laughs, thrusting deep into you, and you have to press your hand to the door to stop your head from bumping against it. “With pussy this good, I don’t need to go anywhere else.”

“If anyone even tried with you, I’d fucking kill them,” you reply and Su-bong’s smirk spreads when he lets out a growl in response to you.

Maybe you both have some things to unpack.

Su-bong fucks you hard and deep, his hips moving faster with each thrust. The car shakes and creaks with his movements and you’re sure that anyone outside would surely know what’s happening if they walk by, but you don't care. You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him in as he moves.

With your legs now around him, you feel his phone in his pocket and get an idea. You slip your hand into his pocket and remove the phone, giving him a quick look to ask for approval, which he gives you with a smirk and a nod. You start recording, aiming the camera between your bodies first to focus on the way he fucks you.

“You’re so big, baby,” you whine. “I love how you stretch me out.” Su-bong moans, plowing harder into you.

“This pussy is so fucking tight,” Su-bong grinds out, and you aim the camera at his face to record the way he bites his lip, and furrows his brow in concentration. “Who knows how to make you come?”

You know what he’s asking. You told him a long time ago that before him, the only person to make you come was yourself. He was the first one to take enough care to actually get you off, and it felt better than you ever made yourself feel. And now he wants you to tell him again.

“You do, baby,” you moan. “You’re the only one who knows how to make me come. You’re the best I ever fucking had.”

Su-bong goes harder and harder, rolling his hip and angling into you so he can push you closer to your climax. You hold the phone up above you to be able to record both of you as best as you can. He lets go of the door and slips his hand under your skirt to rub your clit. You use your legs that are still wrapped around his waist to roll your hips to meet his thrusts, feeling your orgasm approaching.

Your panting and moaning echoes through the car as you reach your climax. Su-bong fucks you through it, finding his own orgasm from how firmly you clench around him. Your body starts trembling and you lose your grip on the phone so it clatters to the floor, your hands wrapping around his torso to pull him against you.

“Fuck, baby, I love you so much,” Su-bong pants in your ear, still rocking his hips against you as he fills you up.

“I love you, I love you,” you repeat it because fuck you’re so caught up in how good you feel, you can’t ground yourself. He kisses you, sloppy and passionate, his hips slowing to a stop. “Fuck,” you whisper, as his weight drops onto you and you thread your fingers through his sweaty hair. “That was hot.”

“Mhm,” Su-bong hums, kissing along your jaw. “The windows are fogged up.” You angle your head to look at the foggy glass, and you laugh at how silly it seems. When he leans back, peering down at your face, he smiles, his hand blindly feeling around on the floorboard for the phone. “You look gorgeous,” he whispers, pointing the camera at your face. “I’ll make this my lock screen.”

“You’re a freak,” you laugh, embarrassed by the way he looks at you, so you shove the phone away from your face. You grab him by his shirt, pulling him in for another kiss, and you know he angles the phone to film it. “I love you,” you mutter against his lips.

“I love you, too.”

Su-bong finally stops filming and slowly climbs off of you, tucking himself back into his pants. He rubs his hand soothingly over your thigh as he takes another hit from his vape.

“One day, I’ll convince you to let me fuck you in the club,” he grins, his hand gently fixing your panties and smoothing out your skirt. You laugh, sitting up beside him and adjusting your shirt now.

“Maybe for your birthday,” you quip.

“You always say that,” Su-bong replies, with a small scoff. “The list of birthday sex promises is growing, babe. I hope you can make good on them because I'm ready to wear you out.”

[haihoneys]

Pool Party Fun Times

Summary: San is getting really tired of this cat-and-mouse game he’s been playing with Y/N. Little does he know, she’s fed up too. What’s going to happen when they each decide they’re going to make a move at their mutual friend’s pool party?

Word Count: 3,763

Pairing: Choi San x Fem!Reader

Warnings: smut - reader is a ✨screamer✨, mention of blood (bitten lip), barely proofread (im defs high editing this oops), unprotected sex (pls be smart)

A/N: this is set in the same universe as If The Heavens Ever Did Speak and Afternoon Delight. you don’t have to read those to read this, though!! just thought i would mention it hehe. if you wanna get really specific… it actually happens the same day as Afternoon Delight… its the same party 👀

——

The first time they met, San found himself drawn to her. She just had this magnetism about her that seemed to always keep him in her orbit. From the second Yeosang, a long-time friend of her’s apparently, introduced them to one another at a listening party San was just…enamored. She was all twinkling eyes and bright smiles, fluttering lashes and breathy laughs. 

Since then, she’d been popping up randomly in his world.

Two days after the listening party, they ran into each other at a cafe. A week after that, he was picking up some takeout from his favorite chicken place and all but ran into her as she was leaving the same restaurant. The very next day, as he was leaving the dance practice, he saw her from across the street as she was exiting a cab. 

San smiled, eyes crinkling at the corners as he laughed and called her name. Y/N whipped around, shock coloring her features as she searched for the stranger calling for her. He jogged across the street, huffing another chuckle as he stopped before her. 

“We really need to stop running into each other like this.”

She laughed and nodded her agreement, reaching out a hand to rest on his bicep.  

The gentle touch had him biting down on the inside of his cheeks to keep from sighing and leaning closer to her.

“Yeah, we definitely do,” she smiled up at him, and to his horror, she pulled her hand away to hoist her bag up higher on her shoulder. “I actually have a meeting I need to get to. But, here, let me see your phone?”

San immediately started fumbling for his phone, patting at his pockets until he found the device. He unlocked it before placing it in her waiting palm. Y/n pulled out her own phone, swiping until she open… Snapchat… of all things and opened up her profile to show the qr code. She found the same app on his phone and opened it up, scanning the code to add her as a ‘friend.’ 

She made a satisfied little hmph sound as she locked his phone and handed it back to him. “Ooh, the request came through! Let me accept it before I head to my meeting.”

And they had been dancing around each other ever since, skirting just on the edge of flirting.

A shirtless, post-workout gym selfie from San. A shot of her legs in a bubble bath in response. 

A reply to his story complimenting his new haircut. A little video showing off said haircut as he thanked her.

Nothing too overt, but at the same time… it wasn’t just nothing.

They were both aware of the mutual attraction, of the suggestiveness of some of their photos and messages. But neither of them were making any real moves towards the other.

That is, until they were thrown into a group chat together with all their friends and invited to a pool party to celebrate the start of the summer.

Their phones pinged at the same time from opposite sides of the city: Y/N tucked into her cozy apartment and San in the back of an SUV on his way back to the dorms from the studio.

That was it. That was the opportunity they needed. This party would be the perfect time to make a move.

Of course, both of them choked when the day came. Offering up only shy hellos and timid waves when they saw each other.

In San’s defense though, she just looked too fucking good. When he saw her in the low-cut summer dress, nipples poking through the thin fabric, he had to excuse himself to the bathroom to adjust his semi-hard cock in his jeans.

He spent the rest of the afternoon making eyes at her from across the pool deck, not bothering to hide the fact or even deny it when Wooyoung giggled about it.

And she was sending those looks right back to him! He swore she was fluttering her long eyelashes at him, too. And maybe he started to think about how she would look up at him when she was on her knees for him… about how she’d take him down her throat and - 

A beach ball came soaring across the deck and smacked him on the forehead. He stood there, a bit dazed, as he snapped out of his thoughts.

Wooyoung was doubled over, laughing so hard he was near tears, trying to choke out an apology. San huffed and rolled his eyes, picking the pool toy up and hurling it back at Wooyoung.

San smiled at the dull thwack! as it made contact with the side of his head.

“Ow!” Wooyoung gasped, hand flying to rub at his head. “No way it hit you that hard!” 

“Serves you right, brat,” San shrugged. Honestly, it was probably for the best with the way his thoughts were spiraling just seconds ago. 

San eventually found himself behind the outdoor bar, playing bartender much to the delight of his friends. Yunho and Mingi’s cheering for him caught Y/N’s attention from across the deck, her focus pulling away from the boys’ makeup artist to land on the rowdy trio. 

She excused herself at the first lull in the conversation, claiming she needed another drink despite the nearly full seltzer she was nursing, and seated herself at the far end of the bar. 

San turned toward her, leaning back against the counter behind him as he tossed the towel he was using to dry his hands over his shoulder. He crosses his thick arms and Y/N’s eyes locked in on the corded muscles and she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t thinking about him pinning her down and - 

“What can I getcha miss?”

His question brought her back to reality, her cheeks and ears heating as he stared her down.

‘He knows’ she thought ‘he absolutely, 100% knows that I was just thinking about him pinning me to the bed upstairs.’ 

“Um,” she stuttered, suddenly nervous under the weight of his intense gaze. “Surprise me.” 

The left corner of his mouth tugged into a smirk as he uncrossed his arms and turned away from her. He began pouring various mixers and liquors into a shaker before slapping the top on and shaking the concoction. Y/N watched him and nearly moaned at the way the toned muscles in his shoulders and back flexed and moved under his white t-shirt as he went about the task. 

Yeosang just so happened to pass behind her and reached up to tug on a lock of her hair to get her attention. Y/N hummed, barely acknowledging her friend, and Yeosang chuckled under his breath.

“Close your mouth. You’re starting to drool,” he teased before walking off again. 

Y/N swatted at him as he went, mumbling for him to hush because she was busy watching a ‘show.’ 

San scooped some ice into a glass and poured the mixture over it, making a show of licking the fingers of his right hand as he slid her the drink with his left. He leaned forward onto the bar, and the muscles of his arms shifted again. He noted Y/N’s eyes following his movements, and he smirked.

“Let me know what you think.”

“I’m sure it’ll be great.” She reached for the glass, making sure to just barely brush the tips of her fingers against his forearm as she did. She kept her eyes locked on his as she brought the glass to her lips and took a sip.

“I bet it’ll be the best you’ve ever had.” 

Y/N choked and spluttered on her drink, the heat returning to her cheeks. She looked up at him when she finally caught her breath, ready to spew something about how the drink had just gone down the wrong way. But when her eyes locked on his face again he was giving her the biggest shit eating grin and something clicked into place.

She realized he had been torturing her on purpose. Well, two could play at that game, she supposed. 

She leaned forward onto the bar, purposefully crossing her arms under her tits so they were pushed up practically in his face. She gave herself an extra point in their little game when she noticed his eyes dip down to her cleavage. He flicked his eyes back up to meet hers, his mouth opening to say something clever, to try to fluster her again. So she beat him to the punch.

“Hmm.. I bet I could top it.”

San cocked an eyebrow and grinned at her. “Is that so?” 

Y/N hummed in affirmation and took another sip of her drink. This time, she had to bite back her cringe as the alcohol actually made contact with her taste buds. It was atrocious; nail polish remover probably would have gone down smoother than the literal poison he had given her.

But she smiled, her best attempt at coy, and slid off the bar stool without another word, making sure to put a little emphasis in the sway of her hips as she made her way to the sliding door that led directly into the sunroom of the house. 

It was one of those cliche-as-fuck moments where San thought “damn I hate to see her go, but I love to watch her leave”. 

He was still leaned over the bar, trying to give her at least a few minutes of a head start so everyone still gathered around the pool and bar wouldn't immediately know what they were about to get up to.

The last shred of his willpower flew out the window, though, when she made it to the door and looked over her shoulder at him. She grinned like she knew she had him in the palm of her hand.

And to be fair, she did. 

San pushed off the bar and, as casually as he could, walked towards the door she’d just disappeared through. He found her in the sunroom leaning against the sideboard that was pressed directly under the window, back to the door as she played on her phone.

He stepped behind her and wrapped an arm around her from behind, one hand splaying across her lower tummy as she discarded her phone. San leaned in and moved the hair from her neck and shoulder before leaning in and pressing a kiss just beneath her ear. 

“You thought you were cute out there, huh?”

She could feel the smirk he pressed into the skin of her neck, and then all of the bravado she had worked up was suddenly gone as she practically melted into his touch.

“Bet you thought you had the upper hand all day…Just flouncing around in this flimsy little dress.”

His hands started to wander, leaving goosebumps in their wake as they slid from her hips, up her abdomen to cup and squeeze at her tits. “Not wearing a fucking bra… bet you aren’t wearing panties either, are you?” San laughs, and it’s a sardonic, almost cruel sound.

He pinched at one of her nipples and involuntarily bucked into her when she whimpered and arched into his touch. He slid a hand up further so he could grasp her neck, turning her head towards him just a bit so he could see her pretty face. 

“What if I’m not?” She was breathless as she said it, the anticipation, the want, evident in her tone.

She was clenching her thighs together, trying for any sort of friction, for any sort of relief. San laughed again and dropped the hand that was still on her chest back to her hip. He started to grab and bunch the fabric there, hiking her dress up just enough to slip his hand under the hem.

Y/N whimpered as his fingers brushed over her thighs, tracing shapes and patterns so close yet so far from where she truly wanted him. She was ready to beg for it, the plea on the tip of her tongue when he finally, blessedly moved his hand between her thighs and slid his fingers through her folds. 

He pulled his hand away and held it up in front of their faces, the setting sun shining through the window and reflecting off the sticky wetness on his fingers. 

“You’re being a tease,” she breathed out, chest heaving. 

San laughed and Y/N was beginning to hate the sound and how it made her pussy clench and ache for him. She turned in his grip and watched as he brought his fingers to his mouth and sucked them clean.

He groaned at the taste of her. He was going to spend a long, long time between her thighs. He wanted to fucking drink her and all she had to give him. 

Then he was kissing her, hands in the hair at the base of her skull and pulling just hard enough to guide her where he wanted her. She could still taste herself on his tongue and it was driving her fucking insane, her head swimming.

The primal urge to tear into each other was palpable. The kiss was all clashing teeth and bitten lips, wet and sticky with spit and a bit of blood from a bite that was just a bit too hard. San pulled away a fraction, his pupils blown wide as he stared her down. 

Y/N zoned in on the drop of blood on his lip and gasped. “Fuck! I’m so sorry…oh my god… I didn’t realize I was going that crazy.”

She was speaking a mile a minute, rambling and apologizing profusely, and San cut her off with another searing kiss. 

“What’s pleasure without a bit of pain?” He walked them backwards as he said it, his hands still tangled in her hair.

He eased them down onto the daybed at the back of the room, pulling her into his lap and rucking her dress back up around her hips so she could straddle him.

“You okay?” He asked, wanting to keep her comfort at the top of his priorities. 

“God, yes,” she breathed out and went back in for another kiss, licking into his mouth like she wanted to imprint the taste of him in her own mouth. Y/N started grinding down onto him, the fly of his jeans and the hardness of his cock providing the most delicious friction against her clit.

He moaned into her mouth, strong hands on her hips, dragging her back and forth over his lap until she was whimpering and whining for him. San kissed at the corner of her mouth and murmured to her, “You gonna cum for me? Gonna cum just from humping me like this, baby?” 

She whined and nodded her head frantically, her voice fully gone, the pressure building and building in her lower belly until her toes were curling and stars were bursting behind her eyelids. San hummed below her, hands still pushing and pulling at her as she started to writhe above him, riding out her high.

San watched her, in rapture, as she lost herself to the pleasure. He wanted to burn the sight into the backs of his eyelids so he could conjure it up the next time he found himself alone and wanting.

“I need you inside me right now or I might fucking die.”

That might be the hottest thing he’d ever heard. 

She lifted herself onto her knees - there was just enough space between them to allow her to fumble with his pants and help him shimmy them down his thick thighs. She almost started salivating at the sight of his cock slapping up against his abdomen, heavy and swollen and already leaking precum. 

“Can’t have that now, can we?” He tried to joke, but his laugh was cut off by a guttural groan as she sank down onto him. The wet, molten heat of her might just be heaven, his own personal nirvana. He honestly thought he could live there, buried to the hilt in her pretty little cunt.

Then she started rocking against him and moaning his name, and San nearly came undone at the sound. He gripped at her hips, fingers pressing marks that would surely turn to bruises, and picked her up just enough to give him room to fuck up into her.

The angle was damn near perfect, she could feel every ridge and vein of him, could feel the tip of his cock kissing against her cervix. Her head fell back as she moaned at a particularly well-placed thrust, leaving her throat exposed to him. And San took full advantage of it.

He leaned forward and attached his lips to the juncture of her neck and shoulder. Biting down until she whined - he was starting to think that high-pitched, needy little noise was going to become one of his favorite sounds - before he laved over the quickly reddening mark with his tongue to soothe the sting of pain. 

She was clawing at his arms and shoulders, nails raking down his skin, and he hissed at the sharp bite of it. But he loved it. Loved that she was marking him up, putting her claim on him in such a visible way. Just as he had done to her. 

Suddenly, he was flipping them, and she squealed, arms flying up to wrap around his neck. San never lost his momentum though, fucking into her with even more force thanks to the new angle and leverage. He buried his face in her neck, kissing and sucking new marks onto the column of her throat.

“Fuckkkk,” he groaned into her, pressing the curse into her skin between the kisses, “you feel so fucking good.” 

Words were lost to her at that point; her eyes rolled back in her head as he slammed into her over and over again. She was whimpering and keening beneath him, her hands tangled in and tugging at his hair as he kept pushing her closer and closer to the edge.

San slipped his own hand between them, effortlessly finding her swollen clit. It was a bit clumsy at first, but he steadied himself quickly, drawing tight little circles over her. He sped up his thrusts, and the force of it had them sliding over the edge of the bed.

He was somehow clear-headed enough to thank god that the daybed was low. Practically just cushions on the floor already, so neither of them ended up hurt when they fully slid to the floor.

Y/N didn’t even seem to notice the shift, pupils blown wide, and cheeks flushed. She looked so fucked out that he thought he might could cum just from the look on her face. From knowing that it was him that put that look there. He set back to rubbing at her clit, determined to make her cum again.

“Can you cum for me again, baby? I need you to cum for me… c’mon and give it to me, yeah?

She didn’t need words to answer him, her body taking over and doing it for her as her pussy clamped down so tight around him that he couldn’t fucking move.

The blinding ecstasy ripped through her, and she screamed his name as her vision fully whited out. She was clinging to him like she might slip away from the earth if he wasn’t there tethering her to it, arms thrown around his shoulders and legs hooked over his hips.

San slapped a hand over her mouth, torn between relishing in the fact that he was the one making her scream like that and being worried about everyone just on the other side of the window being able to hear them. 

He swore to himself that next time, he would make sure they were fully alone. That they had all the privacy they needed so she could be as loud as she wanted. So he would be able to hear all those pretty sounds at full volume.

San knew he wasn’t going to last much longer, the fluttering of her cunt around him and the muffled whines she was making from behind his hand were sending him barreling towards his own climax.

He quickly pulled out, sitting back on his calves, his hand flew over his cock as he gave himself a few pumps. San moaned as he came, hot ropes of cum spilling onto her lower belly. 

She was still trembling through her aftershocks as she hummed and brought her fingers to the mess, swirled them around before bringing them to her lips and licking them clean. The menace made sure to keep her gaze locked on his as she did it, moaning at the taste of him as he watched her slack-jawed.

“Didn’t think it was fair that you got to taste me and I didn’t get to taste you.”

San snorted as he rolled to the side of her, flinging his arm over his face. “Keep looking at me like that and saying shit like that and you’ll definitely be tasting me soon.”

Y/N laughed, and it had him giggling in turn. San wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side, pressing soft kisses to her temple. They gave themselves a few moments to fully catch their breaths before they decided they should clean up and head back out to the party before their friends came looking for them.

He needed to find her something clean to wear and offer to have her dress dry cleaned. He told her as much, but she waved him off, telling him not to worry about it. 

San leaned against the doorframe and watched as she tried her best to tame her hair into something remotely presentable. 

“By the way,” he started, “You’re really loud. I was sure someone was going to come in here thinking I was killing you or something.”

Y/N flushed and looked away from him, embarrassed that he had brought it up after the fact. “Sorry… I get so caught up I can’t really help it…”

San paused, head tilting to the side and grinning softly at her.

“I never said it was a bad thing. Or that I didn’t like it. In fact,” He took a step forward, just close enough to be able to settle a hand on her hip, the other cupping her cheek. “I plan on hearing those sounds again. And seeing just how loud you can get."

——

Tag List:

 @life-is-a-game-of-thrones

[steddieas-shegoes]

spiderman kiss

for @steddieholidaydrabbles pop-up event for Valentine's Day

rated t | 896 words | no cw | tags: fake dating au, fake wedding date, strangers to lovers, fast burn of the century, getting together, first kiss, modern au

🕸️🕸️🕸️🕸️🕸️🕸️🕸️🕸️🕸️🕸️🕸️🕸️🕸️

“I cannot believe you fell for this guy,” Robin hisses through her teeth as she gestures to Eddie, who is doing his best impression of a bat by hanging upside down from a tree branch. “You were supposed to bring him to the wedding, not want to marry him.”

“Woah. I said I liked him, not that I wanted to marry him,” Steve whispers.

“For you, that’s basically the same thing.”

Steve rolls his eyes, but she’s right. He may not fall for people often, but when he does, it’s all or nothing. Head over heels. Madly, deeply in love.

Eddie was supposed to be his date for this wedding to appease all the kids, to get them to just shut up already about how single he is and how miserable he is when he comes to events alone. He’s Dustin’s friend, apparently someone just as miserably single as Steve.

He’s weird. Steve likes weird.

He’s loud. Steve likes…his loud.

He’s exciting. Steve needs excitement.

He’s also hot. In a metalhead who didn’t get the memo that the 80s are over, wore jeans and a button-up to a formal event, played air guitar in his seat during the bridal march kind of way.

“He’s fun,” Steve settles on, shrugging. “Aren’t you the one who said I need more fun in my life?”

“I meant, like, a new hobby!”

“He could be my new hobby.”

“Ew,” Robin groans. “Okay. Alright, fine. You wanna be involved with him, be my guest. Dustin says he’s never once seen him in a committed relationship.”

Steve knows. They spent most of yesterday together talking, getting to know each other, making sure they could pass as boyfriends and not people who just met. Steve didn’t care about being single at a wedding, but apparently all of his friends had told Dustin’s mom they were dating behind their backs and now-

“Stevie!” Eddie yells when he notices him talking to Robin at the table. “We could Spiderman kiss!”

Steve glances at Robin, who rolls her eyes and throws her hands up. “Oh my god, just go.”

He stands and walks over to Eddie, who is hanging much lower than he should be for a proper Spiderman kiss. He’s grinning, and his hair has started to fall from its messy bun. Steve cannot believe he’s doing this.

He stands with his hands on his hips, smirking at Eddie trying to hold himself up higher, but not having the strength to do it.

“It would be a lot easier to kiss you if you got down,” Steve says.

Everyone goes silent.

Because everyone who is standing by Eddie– Max, Dustin, Will, and Mike– are all very aware that this was nothing more than a fake date for the wedding. Steve doesn’t need to kiss Eddie when no one is watching; He doesn’t need to kiss even when someone is watching.

Eddie stops trying to lift himself, eyes widening as Steve takes another step closer.

“You’d have to be on that branch to pull it off,” Steve says as he points at the branch about two feet above the one he’s currently on. “Unless I get on my knees.”

Everyone pretends they don’t hear the strangled noise that escapes Eddie.

“You’d get dirty, though. Those are nice pants,” Eddie says, still upside down, face bright red from embarrassment and blood rushing to his head.

“They are,” Steve agrees, laughing as he squats so he’s barely higher than Eddie’s face. “But I have to dry clean them anyway. Might as well get what I’m paying for.”

Steve places his hand on the back of Eddie’s neck and leans in, brushing their lips together softly. It’s awkward because Eddie’s upside down and Steve has no idea how they made it looks so hot in the movie, but-

“This is a turn of events I did not see coming!” Dustin’s new wife, Suzie, claps. “You were so right, Dusty Buns. They’re perfect for each other.”

Steve does what he does best and ignores them, focusing on Eddie, who looks unstable now.

“Do you need help getting down?” Steve asks.

Eddie nods, and Steve moves as quickly as he can to help get him upright so he can climb down. He’s surprised Dustin agreed to an outdoor wedding in the spring with his allergies, but Suzie insisted on having fresh flowers everywhere and would not accept store bought. He’s even more surprised that Eddie, who admitted to having seasonal allergies while they talked at dinner last night, is hanging in trees.

When Eddie’s back on the ground, Steve kisses him for real. A hard press to his lips, tongue brushing against him, teasing.

“Did you climb a tree for attention?” Steve asks him when he pulls away.

“It worked. I can’t be blamed for doing something drastic for you to kiss me.”

“You could’ve just kissed me,” Steve laughs.

Eddie does.

“Still fake? Or can we admit that there’s way more chemistry here than we expected there to be and kiss some more?” He asks.

“I regret doing this. I regret it so much,” Dustin groans as he walks away.

Steve rolls his eyes. “He doesn’t. He’s gonna go do his happy dance where we can’t see him.”

“He has a happy dance?” Eddie asks, smile growing as he leans into Steve’s side.

“Yeah, it’s embarrassing. Let’s go watch.”

[oh-no-its-bird]

KAVEH BEING MISTAKEN FOR A SENJU IS SO GOOD YESSS I LOVE THAT, THERES SO MUCH POTENTIAL THERE!!!

They think he has the mokuton because of his dendro vision ,, he's so fucked. Konoha has major dibs, they want his ass locked down and in their pocket.

Congrats Kaveh, you're no longer going to be killed for taking Naruto!!! But only because Konoha wants to chain you to them. Don't let them catch you or else it's a short trip to T&I for you and a few months of being mind fucked till you're loyal!!

Does the timeline line up right with Tsunade to make her a potential (suspected) mother to Kaveh? I think it might, since she left after the 2nd war.

Kaveh, obviously, knows better and can and will deny it. But meanwhile, Tsunade spent most of the years after the war in a near permanant state of being blackout drunk. She has very, very little memories of the time, and got into a lot of shit she kind of willfully repressed

That is to say: Tsunade... can't 100% say she's never had a child...? She's suddenly so nervous, actually

Someone mentioned Kaveh's dendro vision maybe helping him hide from trackers, somehow covering his chakra in a sort of natural nature chakra-- also helping hide Gaara and Naruto, since they're close at his side

I love that so we're going with that explanation of how he's hiding so well without even knowing it. His dendro vision is just projecting this aura of "natural chakra" around him, masking their signatures. Rip to those who are trying to find him

Alhaitham is here now !! I think he'd be worried for Kaveh but also mostly "Kaveh knows how to take care of himself and stay out of (most) trouble"

Though I think the more he realizes how hostile this world can be towards genuinely kind people, the more he might worry for Kaveh. But also like, he has to have faith Kaveh can take care of himself— at least till he finds him

Alhaitham does not get to clear up the misunderstanding in my world bc I love misunderstandings and need to see Kaveh hunted for sport (and for my amusement)

Maybe he can try tho but like, I do truly doubt he'd be believed fully.

Like, ok, ur jinchuriki is stolen by a strange foreign stranger. You go on the hunt and find him to be incredibly evasive, top tier stealth skills here. Then as you're hunting him, he goes and steals another child jinchuriki

Suddenly, this other strange foreign man (who admits himself that he is friends with the first!!) shows up and tries to explain a "misunderstanding" that he himself doesn't even have the full context for

Maybe they could have at least tried to believe him if it were just Naruto, but w him taking Gaara also like. Nah they'd toss Alhaitham's ass in a cell to give to a Yamanaka for some mind fuck jutsus. Which Alhaitham probably isnt going to just sit around and let happen to him, rip

Alhaitham is going, "This is somehow Kaveh's fault, I just know it," as he actively bashes his way out of a prison. Jail break arc !!!!

Anyways thinking about just. Kaveh treating Naruto and Gaara like the children they are. Showing them genuine care and concern and motherly love. Gaara especially tbh— obviously they've both suffered but I'd like to believe Naruto got one or two good or semi normal interactions in his life before, or at least has been in the position to witness that sort of thing

But Gaara has just kind of been trapped in an absoloute nonstop torture freak show from day one.

Kaveh will show them motherly love and worry and Naruto will go "woah... so this is what it's like..."

but Gaara will full shut down "I dont understand what is happening. Why does my entire body feel warm? Why is he look at me like that? Why does it make me want to cry? What is happening to me? What is this? Am I broken? Have I been poisoned?"

The three of them get into some sort of fight and Kaveh puts himself in front to defend his kids. Naruto is all bluster "let me protect you!" Without any of the skill but Gaara is fully "idiot, I can protect you" *massacre noises*

Afterwards Gaara is bracing for the usual screams of terror and inevitable abandonment, but when Kaveh starts to yell it isnt about Gaara being a monster but instead about how could you put yourself in that sort of situation? I'm here to protect you, Gaara!

And he like wipes away the blood from Gaara's face, looking like he's about to burst into tears. And Gaara is so, so confused because this is not how it's supposed to go— its never gone like this, ever

I think Kaveh would lose his mind a little bit over the violence but also like, not as much as he could, for several reasons

He isnt a stranger to fighting, obviously. The desert is dangerous, and he's run into his fair share of scuffles— and obviously yk, has been on some adventures with the traveler.

He does exist in proximity with Collei, and while I don't think it's ever directly stated that he's aware of her circumstances, I'd like to believe he knows at least a little. So he isn't a stranger to the terrible circumstances of some children, which can lead them to have skills beyond their age

Also just: these are kids. These are kids and he cares about them. It would take a lot to get mr bleeding heart over here to genuinley disavow someone he's already imprinted on, especially a whole child

So yeah, just, Kaveh caring for Gaara even as he is faced with the inherent violence he is built on and filled with. Kaveh showing Gaara he can be loved, even through all the blood and bone. Kaveh seeing the carnage and running past it all to hug Gaara tight and asking if he's ok

Naruto is also there going :O in the background

He's like. 6. And also Naruto. So the fear is kind of overrided by "WOAH HOW DID YOU DO THAT???? THAT WAS SO COOL YOU BEAT THEM ALL SO FAST!!!!!"

They are friends first now (best friends, Naruto insists) so Gaara himself is a priority now, and even if it was kind of scary, they're still friends!!

also @sanska :

SO REAL HE'S SO FUCKING PRETTY ITS KIND OF INSANE !!!!

There are so many artists who do him so well, most beautiful man in Tevat fr, my favorite blond. Not to mention the fansong for him FUCKS, Writing on the Wall changed my life forever

I love when people draw and write him as wearing makeup ,,, my pretty princess ,, he lines his eyes in kohl every morning and has a whole skin care routine to protect his skin from the desert sun, pass it on. It's just canon to me.

I want to think about Kaveh (genshin impact) in Naruto but I haven't touched Genshin for longer than an hour in over a year now. I never even officially met Kaveh, I never hit his quests. So Idk if I can do him justice

But like, ,,, ough,,, Kaveh in Naruto ,,,, my babygirl most ever,,,

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

mentallyyyyy lately i keep coming back to Solas and Felassan.

like i know that their relationship is the way it is mostly because the writers came up with the end of The Masked Empire before they even considered the beginning/what happened in Arlathan. like... it was always doomed because the doom in fact came before the rest of the story. but beyond that if we actually LOOK at it all together like we can now to fill in those gaps...

From Felassan's perspective, he didn't know what exactly Solas was going to do, just that he was planning Something Big. when the Veil went up he didn't know what part of it was his generals intention or not, what even happened to him, and how they're going to deal with the result now. Only that in some way it worked (the gods are gone) but also clearly couldn't have gone exactly right, because they're cut off from the fade and Solas just never comes back--he fell into Uthenera after creating the prison/veil used up all his magic and strength. So Felassan as far as we know just... goes it alone? For thousands of years?? After shepherding the others in the rebellion out of the lighthouse and into the world it's possible he went into his own Uthenera at some point in the middle for part of the time that we don't hear about, but at least as of The Masked Empire he seemed pretty cognizant of all the politics, history, etc of Thedas. So he's either been personally around for all of it or enough of it to make sense + get caught up on whatever he missed. Probably a good chunk of those early years was spent looking for Solas' body or where he'd fallen into slumber... I imagine if he'd actually managed to find him during that time he would have done something to help him wake if possible. So probably he didn't, and eventually would have just... stopped looking probably. He spent his time existing in the world in a very real way, even if he kept some emotional/physical distance from it. Thousands of years growing and becoming a different person, not a general in a war but a bit of a loner who eats tree bark but nevertheless actually seems to have enjoyed the people he's gotten to know over the years, and found his own kind of peace.

And on Solas' end. He does this giant, cataclysmic thing, passes out, and when he wakes up the world is just utterly unrecognizable. He didn't get to see any of the in between, hence telling himself it wasn't (couldn't be) real, it didn't count, he could still fix it, etc. And so he starts desperately looking for ways to go back and who does he manage to find--Felassan. His second in command, his advisor, and from DAV clearly someone he trusted and relied on. And so he thinks ok, just like before, we can do this, we can make things right again. And for a little while it seems like that's how things are going.

Until... Felassan says no. He straight up tells him he's wrong about people and the world and just refuses to comply when Solas asks for the Eluvian password, the thing that would essentially let him "fix" it all. Despite EVERYTHING, all their history, all the work they'd done together--Felassan says "I will not do this for you." And i think that's how Solas can do it. The moment he lashes out, he's not seeing Felassan anymore, he's just seeing yet another stranger, and yet another thing his big mistake back then tore away from him. He kills Felassan becuase he's not the Felassan Solas knew. The world isn't real and neither is this mockery of his old friend and it's just one more thing he'd already lost eons ago. And it's worse to have to see this new version and reminder of everything he fucked up than it is to believe the real Felassan was gone the whole time. The real Felassan is something he could keep mourning in his memory versus having to confront all the changes they made and the fact that. He didn't have to see this new version of him, and then he could keep compartmentalizing how "this was NOT the Felassan I knew" the same way he does "modern elves are NOT my people".

and so of course he can't get to the actual grieving until he does accept that the world might be real. and another reason he pushes back so hard against this because it means admitting not just his ancient mistakes but the recent ones too. or at least this is how i've been able to mentally reconcile what we get about their history in DAV and the ending of The Masked Empire. ouurrgh. chewing on it.

[hitlikehammers]

Rockstar!Eddie Leaves What He Had With Steve Behind in Hawkins 💔 to Chase His Dreams 🎸

(so why is it that he’s back in Steve’s bed Hawkins every couple months for ‘very pressing reasons’ that are straining Steve’s heart honestly anything but? 🫤❤️‍🩹🥺)

NOTE: this was originally a fill from @eddiemunsonbingo AGES ago, and I’m only bringing it over here NOW because something for the @steddielovemonth is going to be posted soon that is a standalone in its universe, but also very much a sequel to it ♥️

Steve really does try not to think about it in terms of…time.

Maybe that’s foolish. It’s mostly denial. Lots of it isn’t reliable anyway: the score his body keeps isn’t accurate, war-time left over from too many near-misses with a fucking alternate dimension but the popping in his joints and the ringing in his ears and the white hair he pulled out of his scalp and stared blankly at in the sink for a good twenty minutes: those are real things, but they don’t chart the passage of days, of hours, months and fucking years with any real meaning.

It’s been four years. Roughly. Depending on what the start point is. Whether it’s that Spring Break. Whether it’s the first winter. Or the spring after, when Robin begged him to go with her—there’s still time. She still begs, because they still talk given the thread inside them stays tied unbreakable to one another, oblivious to miles between. Maybe it’s measuring from the graduations, the kids—only Erica’s left at Hawkins High, now, though Steve gets calls from the whole bunch of them, Eleven the most, which was maybe surprising, then it’s a good split between Dustin and Will, another surprise. Max calls enough but her calls are calls, with a weight most of the others lack. Lucas’s calls aren’t super frequent but always long, mostly because he talks around the point forever, whatever the point happens to be. Even Mike usually ends up on the other end of the line once a month. It’s…that could be where the time starts from.

Or it could be the summer, that first summer. The one that taught Steve what it was to have a heart just to fucking break it.

Could be that. Impossible to say.

(It’s been 3 years, 7 months, and 14 days. Steve had only counted in retrospect, in the wreckage left behind, because while he’d known there was a deadline in it, to it all, he’d thought he could be enough. That he could change a mind. He’d thought…

Foolish things. Bullshit. Didn’t matter. Could be any fucking date.)

But since the point's come up, and it’s front of Steve’s mind, his least favorite (most favorite) place to find it: he hadn’t expected it. Robin liked to say she saw the signs but. Steve hadn’t watched it happen in slow motion because there wasn’t a single goddamn slow thing about it. Which was…for whatever it was worth, Steve knew falling fast and hard and with everything he was had maybe failed him every time, thus far, but at least he knows that for him?

That means it’s real. He’s all in. He might not be met equal on the other side of the equation—hadn’t been yet, maybe wouldn’t be ever, but he wasn’t having any luck trying to fucking change that fact so, learning to work with what he had was the best he could do. And he had love. He’d never been able to name it to himself so far: not before, and certainly never since. But.

Figuring out the sexuality thing had been a not-bathroom-but-definitely-floor talk on the shitty Family Video carpet sometime around November of ‘85. Slow days, idle comments, and Robin’s suspiciously-but-reliably-gentle-when-the-need-was-dire hand to his shoulder to say no, no: actually wanting to kiss people of any gender wasn’t really…the default Steve had always expected it had to be. How could anyone look at, say, Harrison Ford and not think, oh yeah, I would at least suck his face?

Turned out probably at least half the people on the planet. As in the straight guys and the lesbians. Steve had spent the majority of three days on that disgusting fucking carpet, open to close, popping up to ask Robin if she was sure because what about—

She was sure. And eventually, through a couple of needs for deep breathing and a handful of assurances that it was okay to cry—he appreciated that, but he kept the crying to his room after these long-ass shifts and if Robin stayed for some of those times, that was because she was half his head, half his heart, and she knew what he was going to do sometimes before he did.

They did end up on the floor of his bathroom, a clean one for once, at one point. Maybe because they both held to tradition. Maybe because Steve had largely come to terms with the mindfuck of yet another piece of his world, his self unravelling and rewriting itself, and thought the vodka in his dad’s liquor cabinet was a good way to celebrate. The label was entirely in Russian and Robin had been practicing on hers, said she was pretty sure it was the good shit.

Sometimes you can drink enough of the best shit on an empty stomach, though, and still spew the whole of it up.

Steve sometimes does think he drinks his dad’s best liquor that way on purpose, though. Delightful going down and yeah, it sucks to chuck it up but. The idea that it’s ultimately wasted feels…right.

Anyway: Steve had settled with it all by New Year's, and while he’d hosted the rugrats who could only blabber about their latest campaign with their epic DM, and he’d kissed Robin when the clock turned, well. It felt like a new start, a fresh page.

Something that had the chance at being a good thing.

And nothing much happened in the two-and-a-half-months that followed save for finally catching a glimpse of the D&D god who ran their little club while he was idling in his car to pick up the shitheads, this legendary DM who did not make Steve jealous one tiny bit and who was cool and was edgy and was so fuckin’ cool, Steve, did we tell you got cool he is?! and Steve had said language as monotone as he could before he squinted as out came all the metal and the ink and he’d said your club president dude is Eddie goddamn Munson and he should have kept his mouth shut because the amount of talking that ensued left him with a headache the size of Montana; but.

That was really all that happened until about…mid-March.

Then Spring Break happened.

It could be argued Eddie and Steve grew close enough to pass the acquaintances benchmark, ended up as at least tentative friends on top of necessary battle mates as early as the Upside Down. Whatever reason Eddie gave, he jumped in after Steve. Whatever speech Steve landed on, he didn’t want Dustin orEddie hurt.

It could be argued Steve wasn’t paying attention and didn’t stop in time and landed in the land of Tentative Friends You Wouldn’t Mind Added Benefits With after the…at least after the way Eddie leaned in close and his lips we so red and he called Steve big boy and…

Yeah.

When Steve carries what may or may not be Eddie’s still fucking corpse out of the Upside Down—he can’t tell, every time he tries to check again his own heart's too loud, his own breaths too shaky—but by then, they’re family. Bound in blood. Steve would die for him, like the others. He won’t let him die, if he can fucking help it.

Between him and Max, Steve almost crashes, breaks. Steve’s there when Max’s fingers twitch and he laughs with tears in his eyes and hands over hands and tells her he loves her and he’s sorry and he’s there, tries to talk around the letter he opened and resealed without evidence because Steve knows some tricks too, okay, and her words had broken him but now he could live up to what she thought she was leaving behind, could make sure she had every goddamn thing she thought she was giving up in spades, to roll around in in abundance. He was going to take care of her, whatever she needed. Whatever it took.

Her lips had quirked and the doctors called coincidence, don’t get your hopes up but; Steve knew Max. That was all her.

And there were more tears, he let her fucking feel them; he fucking hoped she’d notice, and remember, and give him so much shit.

Eddie takes longer, pulls out of the woods enough to exhale a few days later, and the way Steve slips out to find the hospital chapel, the only goddamn place he won’t be found by anyone he knows, and bawls his goddamn eyes out?

It’s family, and it’s love because it’s family but…it’s been so quick. It’s been intense, and that probably speeds it along but…

Shit. Shit.

That’s when Steve knows he sets a new goddamn record for himself and falls hard and heavy and stupidin, like, a week and change. Jesus Christ.

It’s in the recovery that they build something though. Something that’s not trauma or terror or the threat of imminent death. Steve spends most of his hours between two hospital rooms listening to progress reports and taking notes and the kids gravitate toward Max—Dustin would have been the outlier but Steve knows he’s not ready, and so he gives his own updates just to his brother when he drives him home after visiting hours—but that means Steve’s Eddie’s most common conversation partner. They talk about bullshit. Steve defends a-ha to the last breath he has. Eddie’s rendered speechless for a second and then frantic when challenged to pick his favorite band. Again when it’s his favorite song, from his favorite band. And again when it’s his favorite song of any song, ever at all. Steve's heart swells in the watching. He’s foolish enough to bask in the glittering of Eddie’s eyes when Steve indulges in talking, scene by scene as guided by the master in the bed beside him, about what his opinions on Star Wars really were. And then guided by no one, just invited to share what his opinions are on the last movie he saw and loved: which was Weird Science, the last movie he watched in a theatre because he and Robin had gone to face their fear or some shit after Starcourt and it was easier than he’d expected. Eddie listens, and nods, and asks if they can rent it when he’s out, before making sure to add  but you should really have a new choice like, eight months later, man, you work at a video store.

Steve was mostly just focused on Eddie more than implying, of his own volition, that he wanted to have a movie night.

Eddie’s released before Max, largely for mobility reasons, so they both go to visit her now. Robin’s put on the night shift when they schedule their movie night and Steve immediately moves to reschedule but she says no, she’s seen it, make Eddie suffer this time. So it’s just them.

They sit closer than they have to, on the couch.

And it’s little things that build from there. Max’s physical therapy is a government secret, like some fancy space-age protocol that has real hopes to put her on her feet again so she needs a ride, and while they could take turns, Steve and Eddie just take turns as to which vehicle they hop into to drive her. They stay when she needs them—not when she asks because she’s Max and she never asks—but it ends up three days a week back and forth and during: together.

And a lot of nights, for a movie or a smoke or a nightmare or a pulled stitch before they’re all taken out: together.

And shifts where Steve doesn’t even bother to bring his own lunch because Eddie Munson, unpredictable and wholly forgetful super-super senior—who Nancy and Hopper and most of all Joyce convinced the School would be finishing his final senior year at home save for tests, and only that once he was cleared by his doctors—that Eddie Munson brought Steve something every single time he worked. A burger, a chili dog, chicken fucking nuggets. A PB&J clearly homemade and cut diagonal.

So yeah. It starts out how it does when Steve’s in trouble. But it builds like…Steve’s never known before.

They kiss in May. Maybe so that it’s not their first, and a total cliche, when Steve kisses him for graduation behind the bleachers.

The sleep together after graduation, high on the thrill of it, and that’s maybe a cliche but Steve could not give a shit less.

And then they're EddieandSteve, only to find out they have been for a while; and this is just something a little deeper, a little bit more.

In ways that mean everything.

Looking back, Steve knows Eddie never minced words about his plan to leave Hawkins in the fall. With a mixtape and a prayer if I have to, Stevie-boy, he’d said once even, and Steve had laughed.

He’d fucking laughed.

So he’d known.

But July bleeds into August and Steve…Steve’s in love, okay, for real in a way that he’s never felt before. Right in a way he’s never felt before. He kinda just…overlooks it. Because Eddie seems to be at least on the same wavelength. Touches him first, reaches for him first: wants him. Looks at him with not just desire or attraction but…something no one’s ever looked at Steve with before.

And so he hopes. More than hopes.

But when Eddie starts packing, Steve can’t breathe.

He buys a set of luggage and goes home to start the same, has half of his not-excessive possessions shoved in when he realizes:

He’s not invited. Eddie’s never asked him to come.

Looking back, he’s afraid he wasted too much of those last weeks. Scared of giving too much away, the hurt from so many sides and the heartache that’s already taking root, but also: the way he clings, but tries not to make it obvious.

Fuck; but of course it was gonna be obvious, and how much energy did he waste, how many opportunities slipped by, because Steve was trying not to give away that Eddie leaving—to get away from a town that hated him, to try and make a real go with his music, to be anywhere without Steve so he could live out the dreams that predated Steve, that Steve had no place in—to try not to give away that all of it; it’d fucking destroy him.

Steve doesn’t know, to this day, how he stood and let Eddie kiss him breathless out the driver-side window, how he waved until Eddie was out of sight. He doesn’t know.

Kind of like he doesn’t know how he fucking keeps doing it.

Eddie throws tapes to every radio station with Van Halen or other top-played bands written on the insert in sharpie like that gives nothing away, and sneaks a demo in every underpaid delivery boy’s hands to record executives as he drives to the West Coast, sends Steve postcards what seems like has to be every goddamn day, filled up with his rambling until there’s no space left, has to draw lines around Steve’s address to make it clear where the damn thing’s going lest it get confused. Like they’re SteveandEddie still. Like only…only the things that changed after graduation are gone.

Steve sobs after about a month of it all, grateful and resentful, hateful and still so goddamn full of love it’s sickening. Literally, it makes him feel nauseous. He…

He keeps every postcard.

When one of them comes to say some idiot in San Francisco accidentally played Corroded Coffin on what’s apparently an important station, and Eddie got a letter in response from one of the labels, he says he’s coming back for the boys, they need to be ready. Steve knows he’s not one of the boys, but.

Eddie wouldn’t have told Steve he was coming if it wouldn’t matter to Steve. And maybe Eddie wasn’t in love with him anymore, maybe never was in love with him.

But he’d be lying if he said he thought Eddie didn’t love him. In a different way. A…you-don’t-get-to-come-with-me-but-I’d-still-want-to-see-you-when-I-stop-back kind of way.

And Steve…Steve’s not a fucking monk or anything. But even Robin doesn’t try to push him when he finally just tells her what he feels, lovesick and pathetic as it is:

I gave everything I had to someone else, and it’d be different if I wanted to back, to give again, but…I don’t.

I don’t want it back, not from him. Not if any part of him, wants to keep any part of it.

And because she’s Robin, she knows he means something else when he says ‘it’. And because she’s Robin? She’d push if she thought it was worth it.

She just holds him, and that’s really the best thing he could ask for.

But it becomes a thing. The boys go with Eddie, and they record new shit to impress...whoever. And they do. They come back for Halloween, because Eddie loves it. The label’s dragging its feet, but they’re not deterred, they’re energized. They come back for Thanksgiving because Wayne loves it—except he doesn’t, Steve knows that, Wayne actually hates trying to make a bird and Eddie had lamented more than once that they ended up with lunchmeat cut into cubes one year when Wayne was particularly frustrated with the process. They go out East, and try a few studios in New York. They come back for Christmas.

Eddie spends most of his time with Steve. Steve doesn’t fucking fight that; wants it…like…

There’s nothing to compare how he wants it to. Nothing exists that fits.

Eddie spends most of the time that he spends with Steve, though?

In Steve’s bed.

And here’s the thing: Steve had a decent amount of experience to compare to, but once they’d fallen into a rhythm, got past the awkward bits, the learning curve? Sex with Eddie had been a goddamn revelation. Not just because he was a man—after he’d left, Steve had forced himself to try, and dispelled that possibility quick as hell—and now?

Now, it’s like they never stopped. Every fucking time, it’s like they never stopped.

Steve’s not surprised in the slightest that he remembers every give and tell of Eddie’s body—of course he goddamn does—but that Eddie doesn’t miss a beat in touching, sucking, licking, worshippingSteve’s? That’s insane. That’s…

Unexpected. Every time it’s unexpected and every time Steve’s shown he wasn’t forgotten when he probably should have been. Eddie’s building a life that doesn’t include him.

He’ll only get in the way.

But Steve is selfish and stubborn and maybe it’s often, like almost strangely so, but it’s only a week or two at a go so he tells himself he’s allowed. He tells himself that it felt like making love in the beginning because Steve was in love, and that it still feels exactly the same because Steve…Steve never stopped.

Steve is still just as goddamn in love.

So yeah. Steve sleeps with Eddie and it’s like…it’s like rationed air. He gets a regular taste and he gets to keep breathing.

And it’s okay. Probably more then. Because he gets Eddie—even a little bit. Even just in scraps. When he has Eddie?

He has him, even for moments that were never made to last.

It’s Easter, this time. The band put out their first record in January. It’s doing really well. Eddie’s over the moon. Someone called about a magazine cover for a publication in Cleveland that’s apparently kind of a big deal, Alt..something. Steve will buy every copy in a fucking 100-mile radius. 200 miles. 500—

It’s Easter. Eddie didn’t lament not celebrating it after Spring Break in ‘86 but he’s back every year now. And if it’s just…come to mean something, or maybe did then and circumstances won out against it? Steve will be here. Steve will be comfort and a reprieve or a hot as hell romp with a familiar body, Steve will…

Yeah. Steve will do whatever’s needed. Wanted. Anything.

Pathetic.

But so much better than nothing.

Case in point: they’re both naked, sweat mostly dried, sharing a joint and it’s comfortable. It’s quiet and gentle and put up against sitting alone on a weeknight, not with Eddie?

It’s heaven.

“So when’s the dream happening?”

Steve looks cross-eyed toward his lips; he hasn’t smoked this thing long enough to have heard wrong. He squints up at Eddie, whose chest he’s laid out on, confused. Offers him the smoke but he waves it away.

“The dream?” Steve asks finally, when Eddie doesn’t seem to want to answer on his own.

Eddie looks at him weird. Not weird for its own sake but like: like he’s staring into him, and then like he’s disbelieving, but then also like he’s seeing him for the first time.

That kind of weird.

“Getting the fuck out of here,” Eddie answers like it’s obvious. “White picket fence. Little nuggets.” He spreads his hands as wide as possible without tossing Steve from where he lies. “See the sights.”

And Steve’s response is immediate. Doesn’t even require a thought.

He laughs. Like, ugly-laughs.

“Man,” he shakes his head as he catches his breath, and passes the joint off this time with purpose, not an offer or a choice as he snorts a little; “that’s not the dream.”

When Eddie doesn’t grab the smoke, Steve finally looks up. Eddie…

Eddie looks like what Steve’s always struggled to understand the word ‘poleaxed’ to mean. He thinks it might be this.

He looks…like something stuck him through the gut. Slapped him silly across the face.

“What d’ya mean?” And it’s just three words, one that’s a cheat, and he says it slow enough to take an age.

Steve breathes out, and then, if he’s gonna be honest, and if he has to keep holding the damn thing anyway, decides to take another drag before speaking:

“Figured out what the dream was, inside the dream,” Steve says, wondering if he’ll get away with the vagary; knowing he won’t.

“All we see or seem?” Eddie jokes a little, but it falls flat, his tone eerily kinda…strained but hollow.

“I like poetry.” Steve smiles up at him, soft, and offers the joint again straight to Eddie’s lips. He takes it this time.

“It was about family. It was about stability, not,” Steve shakes his head, stops talking half-assed around the lungful he’s holding, and lets it out slow; “not in a place, fuck, not in a house, but,” a person he doesn’t say, but he hears it in his head; “it was about sharing it.”

And that's it. That’s the simplest, most straightforward truth. Steve doesn’t think there’s anything complicated, or offensive in it. Hard to swallow. Even if he’s come to terms with it. Is mostly at peace with it.

Which is why it’s weird, that Eddie feels suddenly rigid beneath him.

So Steve turns, and braces his hand on Eddie's chest for balance, and frowns when he doesn’t even have to push down to feel the way his heart’s a fucking riot.

“What?” Steve asks, gentle; Eddie’s face is a portrait of conflict, of distress and Steve can’t fucking figure out why, they just came like four times between them and are sharing some very nice Cali weed—they’re nestled close, they’re together, it’s…

Eddie’s quiet, his breath disconcertingly steady for how his pulse pounds, and then he breathes out slow before covering his face:

“I don’t think I can fuck this up any worse than I already have, so,” he mutters, dejected for reasons Steve can’t even guess, then he laughs, humorless, shakes his head:

“Let me try, I guess.”

Steve frowns, uncomprehending, until:

“I’ve been in love with you forever.”

Steve thinks the world stops. His heart does, at least. Suspended. Silent so he doesn’t miss a syllable.

“And I told myself,” Eddie bites at his lip, worries at the bottom swell; “end of that summer, from the very first, I said: don’t ask him to come with you, even if it breaks your heart,” and oh god, oh god after all this time: Steve doesn’t think he’s projecting to hear the genuinely broken heart in those words for just remembering.

“Don’t ask him to settle, you’re not even in the same universe of what he wants,” fuck, what lies Eddie’s saying; did he believe them? Has he always—“what he needs.”

But Eddie is everything he needs, always was, will always be—

“You’ll never have the picket fence. You can’t give him his nuggets. You should never be trusted to park a Winnebago.”

They could have had a shitty studio apartment. They could have had the kids in college. They could have run the BMW until it died, or sold it to put toward a better van for equipment. They could have—

“You’re selfish, Munson, you’re a rat fucking bastard but,” Eddie’s still going, heart still hammering under Steve’s touch even as Eddie swallows hard and fails to smile, looks ill with the attempt like it hurts to try: “you love him too much for that.”

Oh. Oh god.

“It didn’t break my heart, though,” Eddie clears his throat and glances away, to the ceiling, eyes too bright: oh fuck; “broke my goddamn soul,” and a tear falls, and Steve can’t help but wipe it away, and kiss the track. Even just once.

So he does.

“When I saw you again that first time back,” Eddie starts again, voice rougher and shakier as he reaches a hand for Steve’s. “I could have asked the boys to fly out, the execs offered, but,” and this time, the attempt to grin is more successful, like a weight’s lifted from it: “and you smiled at me, it felt like,” and when he shakes his head this time it’s for disbelief, but the kind that comes with awe; “and when we slotted back together like we’d never been apart, it was…”

Eddie’s voice trails, but it cracks at the end—Steve doesn’t know which does more to stop his words.

He’s grateful, relieved, when they come back. He’s powerless but to give when Eddie touches his cheek so gentle and breathes:

“And I had to tell myself again, and again,” he murmurs, stroking Steve’s skin like he’s precious: “you love him too much to take his dream away from him.”

“What did it matter?” Steve can’t help but ask, no malice in it, just the need to understand. “You had your dream, you have—“

They have a contract. They have an album climbing the charts. They’re not just on their way—they’re there. The only next step is to get bigger, and bigger, and—

“Dreams within dreams, wasn’t it?” Eddie murmurs close to Steve’s cheek, where maybe he’s pressing to be close, or maybe he’s hiding a little, so Steve strokes his hair because he can either way and relishes how Eddie leans, melts into it like always. “Inside the dream?”

Steve nods, more to encourage more words. More Eddie.

“Break my dream open and there’s you with me, every step,” Eddie whispers, his lips warm on Steve’s skin. “Break my heart open, same damn thing,” and that causes Steve to shudder, and his heart to pick up now, too. “Both just kinda crumble if you take out the center.”

Steve can’t quite believe what he’s hearing. Wants to. Doesn’t think they’re lies. It’s just, he…

“Those,” Steve tries to speak but his voice cracks; he clears his throat and kicks his lips while he tucks Eddie into his neck, under his chin: “those would be good lyrics.”

“No,” Eddie shakes his head and nuzzles Steve’s throat with the motion and this can’t be happening.

This can’t be happening, can it?

“No, those words were only ever meant just for you.”

And Eddie kisses the pulse point close to his mouth and holds there, like a sentry and a miser, and holy shit.

Holy shit.

“And I don’t know,” Eddie’s saying more, but it’s pitchy, thready, like he’s barely holding the words together at all; “I don’t know if it’s nostalgia, or convenience, or routine,” his voice breaks again and the sob’s in the word when it comes even if it’s not streaming down on his cheeks: “pity,” and no, no, not fucking ever, how—

“I was never your dream then, and I don’t even know if I can be your inside-dream now, and,” Eddie’s rambling, and he does that when he’s desperate, when he’s overwhelmed and overfull with feeling—and Steve knows that. Steve knows that about him.

Steve knows. Better than he knows himself, Steve still knows him.

“I just want the world for you,” Eddie whispers, stroking up and down Steve’s jaw; “my sweetheart. My sunshine,” he smiles so real and soft and Steve melts, like the heart in his chest starts spilling through his ribs, warm and liquid: “you deserve more than the world, more than fuckin’ me and I,” Eddie shakes his head again, more this time like he’s stopping himself, like it’s a defense mechanism and Steve reaches for his cheeks, broad palms on either side to hold him still because…he doesn’t want Eddie to stop.

Ever.

“Did I ruin it?” Eddie breathes, and barely at that, eyes so wide and swimming and oh, god; “did I—"

And Steve can’t help it. He can’t help but kiss him with all he’s got, even if it couldn’t be all Eddie’s worth in all the world. Steve can’t contain all that Eddie’s worth.

But he can give everything, because this is the man who already has it.

“What the hell was I supposed to be to a rockstar?” Steve tries to talk through his own tight throat, his own growing smile, his own threat of tears bubbling close to the surface. “How the fuck was I ever going to measure up, ever do anything but hold you back when you could have—“

“I come back to you, for you,” Eddie answers immediate; it’s not what Steve’s asking but he won’t lie and say he didn’t want to know, at least a little. “The handful of times I’ve tried,” Eddie shakes his head once now, definitive; “I have always left my everything with you.”

The idea that Steve’s spent all this time feeling empty, and hollow, and missing the best of himself where it lived in the man he loved—the idea he was wrong, that they both were so fucking wrong is…insanity.

“I had a bag half packed.”

Steve doesn’t need to explain further. The noise Eddie makes is pure pain.

“Baby,” he nearly croons, falls into Steve somehow closer, wraps him up tighter; “I wanted to kidnap you in the night.”

“I sobbed in my bed after you were out of sight.”

“I pulled over before the town sign, because I couldn’t see the goddamn road.”

And Steve…Steve doesn’t really have a decision to make about what he says next. What dream he wants; always has.

“I never got rid of the luggage.”

And Eddie hears everything he says in those words, because after everything, Eddie Munson knows him, and…yeah.

Steve’s been kissed in a lot of ways before. By this man in particular, even.

But this: if leaving broke Eddie’s soul, if somehow the lack of Steve somehow did that?

This is…this is the body meeting another body, heart to heart and tasting the way a soul slides back in place. It's Eddie’s hands in his hair like hell never let go and he’s happy about the idea; blissful for it, even. It’s—beyond anything Steve’s ever known. So: yeah.

It’s not a decision. It’s just a fucking given.

♥️

🎸also on ao3

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[prodixal]

"Aye. I wouldn't say I was green with jealousy of this...fictional friend of yours. Mildly jealous, maybe? A tad bit?" he wasn't entirely sure if being jealous of someone who did not exist was better, or worse, than the alternative. Either way, he was not fond the guy -- or the idea of him. "Besides you are far more jealous than I. If this was one of our competitions you'd be sure to win. For a change." he shrugged at the words, as if they were spoken with utmost certainty -- and yet he knew them not to be true. Rickon did not think it was possible to feel jealousy stronger than he did, and yet he kept those feelings at bay when they did arise -- mostly. It was unbecoming of a lord, to act on such impulses. And he had no right to jealousy, not with her. As she proceeded to explain her thoughts, with brows furrowed and words broken in their struggle to convert feelings into thoughts -- he had half a mind to stop her. It felt oddly wrong that she should need to do that, that she should need to reassure him when she was just as much her own person as he had been his own. Just as capable of making decisions, just as certain. And yet it felt good to hear -- it felt good to allow them, even if only this once. Because they etched on, every word of hers engraved into his mind like it was made of stone and they were chisel. "Alright." he says at last then, and his eyes go visibly softer, and his breath eases following much relief. "Thank you. For choosing me." it is all he could utter, all he knew how to express in return. And his cheeks turned warm once more, as she leaned further in. "I would be quite content staying in this room with you as well. For a good amount of time." Her sudden push against his chest nudged him to fake an injury through a hearty laugh. "I keep no secrets from you, that is a vile accusation." he said through that laugh, and his eyes searched to find hers in a moment of contemplation. "You need not know such things." it came out warm and honest. "I've not the words to string together into poetry that could accurately describe the extents of your beauty. No poet does. Such is my curse, and yours -- that I should admire you wordlessly and you should have to accept that." nervousness was surpassed only by the sweet taste of relief, as he expressed something he held onto for much too long. "And know that, well, so long as I am me and...you are you --" his eyes could not hold her gaze, not truly, though a smile did linger. "You will remain the single most beautiful thing."

As she rested her chin against his chest once more, and her fingers traced over his collar bone sending fresh goosebumps up his skin, Rickon felt incredibly at ease. His mind was freed of the barricades placed between his mind and his soul, and for a moment he let himself recall the first time he'd ever laid eyes on her. He remembered everything about that day. The way sun felt against his skin upon reaching the capitol for the very first time. The way smells overwhelmed his senses, and colours were so bright and varied. He remembered the sounds of distant laughter at the bay, the southern birds singing. He remembered how she wore her hair, the colour of her dress, the violet in eyes, the smell of jasmine. Clearly, as if it were all unfolding before his very eyes, he recalled the sound of her voice -- and how quickly she went from a stranger, to a friend. How such moments were written now, permanently, across time and space. So many strings had to intertwine, so many stories come to pass, so much had to have gone exactly right so he could meet her then, so he could hold her now. Rickon pulled her closer, as that thought settled. "It is different to how I thought it would be too." he said quietly, still somewhat lost in thought. He'd never imagined crossing so many lines, never meant for things to get this far. "You must know I never..." voice traced off. Only couple moons ago he would have been betrothed to someone else. His feelings, in a grand scheme of things, always mattered very little. So whatever he did, and did not feel for her through time, mattered little as well. A sweet thought of her smile, a shiver at the touch of her hand, a warmth at the sound of her laughter, those were but harmless, and rare, indulgences. They never went further than that. "I did not plan for things t -- to turn out the way they did." and yet, here they were. So perhaps a part of him had wanted it all the same. Perhaps when all else became distant and obsolete...the principles of duty, and honour and certainty, he wanted her more than he'd ever dared to admit. "But I am glad it is alright with you." he shifted gently, not do disturb the place she lay. "It is alright with me too." Daenyas words entered the room like a sweet lullaby. Perhaps he had been exhausted of travelling, of thinking -- but the hopefulness within her voice made his mind latch on to her effortlessly. He knew no such happiness would ever find them. That no good times would ever come to stay. Long periods of joy, of health, of summer, they were the most rare thing of all. And not for the likes of them. Not in this lifetime, perhaps not even the next. She must have known it too, the girl who spoke with death knew death did not rest. And yet here they were, together, in a moment that made him buy into every single word anyway. Moment so sweet he'd imagined perfectly what their life could someday be. Life where war was long gone, and summer was at its peak, and they were happy and healthy and together. The thought warmed him, even more so than her hands as they dug into his hair anew. Head rested upon her collar, eyes closed as he was permitting the tiredness and the thoughts to overcome him. "A long stretch of good..." he repeated, almost as a whisper, a prayer of sort. "I am prepared...I think." smile pushed into dimpled cheeks, and he did not hear the words she drowned within the fabric of his shirt. Yet he knew them to be sweet, and so without opening his eyes or moving much at all, he placed a gentle kiss upon her neck and let his mind wander off with the dreams.

" YOU CONFESSED TO YOUR JEALOUSY JUST EARLIER ." daeny reminds him lightly , her brows arching with it as her lips twitch in response to his smile . although , now with everything that has happened perhaps the confession can be put into different context . " you said you were frightfully jealous of my faster , stronger friend . have you forgotten ?" she finally allows a smile to bloom over her features at his nudge , a huff of laughter escaping her as she bumps into him lightly in return . " by that you mean it is annoying how charming i am ?" daeny blinks at the words , startled by the line of them . her brow furrows a bit in confusion . " i offer because — because you're rickon ." it seems quite self explanatory to her somehow . of course she would offer . it is rickon . is such a feeling not mutually felt ? she's quite sure rickon would offer quite a great many things to her as well . gods , he offered this , this journey , this danger he had put himself in , for her . was it not the same ? " and — " daeny fumbles for words , for how to explain . " as you are rickon i feel quite strongly for you . and about you . " her eyes meet his with the words , her gaze searching even as she tries , " i wish for you to be happy and i wish to make you happy and — " another fumble for words , her brows knitting tighter together to say , " you are very important to me ." her gaze flicks over his features , searching some level of understanding as she says, "i enjoy things very much when i do them with you . and so as such if i were to pick who to do such things with it ... " a shrug that is more a nervous movement than anything else . " would be you ." she has to blink in surprise as her hand is captured , and as a kiss is placed on her finger she can only feel her ears warm in surprise . the warmth of her flush only grows as rickon continues . " i know you are perhaps charming me ," daeny starts with an arch of her brow at his words , her head tilting with it even as she still feels the warmth of his touch in her hand . " but i actually quite like this room ." she lets her gaze travel around the room with the words , thoughtful before she meets his eyes again to say , " under other circumstances i would be quite content to stay here with you i would think . at least for a good amount of time ." it is pipe dream truly . an unrealistic one . she knows they both know that . and yet daeny feels the need to verbalize it all the same . daeny can't help the warm feeling that floods through her at the sound of his laughter , her grin growing impishly as the action rattles their hands on his chest , as giggles escape her as well . she shifts impossibly closer as if proximity will perhaps bottle the feeling . in a way it perhaps does . " i am glad to hear that i am not the only one who struggles with this ." daeny makes a show of sighing , her eyes twinkling before she lightly teases , " although your story is of course much stranger . i accept you all the same ." daeny rests her chin on rickon's sternum as he speaks , feels her cheeks warm once again as he starts . for a moment it seems as if he perhaps gets lost in thought , an act that only makes her impossibly warmer at the concept . and yet the sentence never finishes . daeny didn't even realize she was waiting for the conclusion until it never came . " i — " daenya has to blink a bit to clear her head , shaking her head a little as her brows furrow to say , " what is that supposed to mean ?" the thought that whatever rickon was thinking was deemed better to not tell her only makes daenya feel more flustered in the moment . she smacks her palm down on his chest with not nearly enough impact to actually wound . " you are keeping a great many secrets lately , you know ." daeny huffs lightly , and yet there is no heat in the words . no , all the heat has somehow found its way to her skin . daeny moves to tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear in an attempt to compose herself .

and yet it is rickon taking her braid next , him moving to tuck it away . daeny allows her chin to rest on him anew . she can feel his heartbeat thrumming underneath the point of contact . " i do not mind it ." daeny replies gently and honestly as her lilac eyes meet his . she shrugs once again as she sweeps her palm gently over the cloth of his shirt , smoothing over it before she's pivoting to allow the tip of her finger to trace over his collarbone . " and i do not think it greedy ." there's a beat as her fingers trace back and forth over the skin , her eyes on the movement before she shrugs and adds , " ... i do enjoy that it is me you wish to ask ." daeny can only huff as he continues , her fingers rubbing circles into his scalp as she turns her head to rest her cheek on his chest . there is a beat there where she indulges in the rise and fall of his breath before she says , " you tease me ." a pout even as her fingers gently comb through his curls . " i have never pitied you ." she drinks in the closeness for a moment before she's blinking as he continues . the words push her to straighten , to meet his eyes as she says , " it does benefit me ." the words are insistent , and in the moment daeny is quite sure of them . although she cannot say how exactly she is benefited she knows she is . just as she is benefitted now , as they lay together . this benefits her in a way she is quite sure little else can , and yet rickon provides it so freely . she is grateful for it . " it does ." she sighs as she moves to lean on him anew , fingers twirling a curl around her finger to say, " you will just have to trust me on this fact , rickon ." she blinks as he moves to sit up , surprised by the gentle motion even as his fingers move to enter her hair . her brows furrow . " in ... " daeny fumbles a bit for words . her hands , now extracted from his hair , gesture uselessly to say , " such a way ! you must know what i mean , i —" her brows twitch to furrow . " i knew we would be together for the rest of our days . or at least as many of them as we can . and i knew you felt the same ." a nod as she meets his eyes , as her fingers twist a bit as she adds , " and yet this is different than how i thought we may have meant that ." there's a beat there before she meets his eyes meaningfully again to add , " ... but it is alright with me ."

his next words instantly cause her brows to furrow , knitted together gently as her thumbs pass soothingly over the soft downy hairs curling at his hairline . " i like you as you are ," she insists . it is not the first time daeny has extended such a sentiment and she will do so again . rickon was rickon , and she quite liked him that way . for him to be more like her of all people was not something she would particularly long for . and perhaps for that his admiration comes as a surprise . she allows her hand to smooth over his curls as he speaks . her next words are a whisper and they are a gentle one . a hopeful one as she moves to press them near cheek to cheek as she rests her face on his shoulder . her lips press against it in what is not a kiss but could easily become one as she says , " but perhaps things will be good for a long while ." daeny's eyes are bright with the hope . her fingertips comb through his hair , again and again in a soothing rhythm . " perhaps they will remain good forever one day . wouldn't that be lovely ?" daeny's tone is hopeful as she turns her head towards him , her words near murmured into his ear . " you should learn to enjoy it in preparation for that day . because it will come ." daeny's tone is certain . her head shifts a bit in a nod . " of course small things will happen . you will perhaps stub your toe or maybe ... you will find dinner burnt . but there will be a long stretch of good one day and — you should learn to enjoy it before then ." it is her hope really . that one day there will just be a long stretch of good . a great many years of it . perhaps not today or tomorrow but at some point . she does not want to be weighed heavy with dread when that day comes . she wants to enjoy it as it's happening instead of in hindsight . she shifts to accommodate rickon as he moves closer , as he embraces her and tucks his face into her throat . daeny slides a hand up the nape of his neck and into his hair anew as she warms with pride at the words . at the concept that she could offer such help . she tucks her face into his shoulder once more . " ... you help me forget too ." and it is the truth . the heaviness of it all feels far away in rickon's presence . his previous words echo and daeny can't help but think that she has surely benefitted in a great many ways . her words are hushed and murmured against the fabric of his shirt as she says , " ... thank you ."

[creekfiend]

And so what about when the dog is absolutely certain, and very proud of themselves, that they only bark or snap at people who deserve it? The kind who, if they find themselves feeling like snapping at you, conclude that it's because *you* are a Bad Person, because they *know,* and would *never* snap at someone Good?

I mean... yes. most people are this way and that is why it is important to reflect and examine your behavior when interacting with people and modify it when you find that it does not match your values

[softquietsteadylove]

Red and Green

Gil is glowering. He's been glowering almost since they arrived. He's happy to help, of course. Jack is in the winter play, and since Sersi is also teaching at his school, they've all come to help out with last minute decorating and such. He's baked five sheet pans worth of goodies for the bake sale taking place before and after the play.

Thena is on stage, helping Jack and a few other kids with putting fake snow everywhere. She's not exactly taking part but she's good at keeping them from throwing it on each other or anywhere unnecessary.

That's not the problem. The teacher talking to her is the problem.

Gil doesn't know who he is. Ben says he thinks he's the gym teacher or something. Seems a little young--aren't gym teachers always old dudes who don't actually play sports? This guy is their age, visibly handsome, even from a distance.

"You're a natural with them," the tall, blonde stranger insists.

Thena shakes her head, "I couldn't disagree more. I am here for Jack and no one else. The little hellions can fend for themselves."

She says, and then still decisively stops two boys close to the stairs from seeing what the fake snow tastes like.

"Well, I think you're a natural." Who does this guy think he is? He was moving some larger stuff around with Ikaris all afternoon. Apparently until Thena caught his eye and lured him away.

Gil rolls his eyes as Mister Blondie pulls off the fleece he's been wearing. His t-shirt gets pulled up a little with it, just enough for the stage lighting to really emphasize the full, washboard eight pack of abs he's got.

Phastos clears his throat loudly in Ben's ear. "Ahe-hem, Mister Stoss."

"Habibi, please," Ben attempts to lean away from his husband. "It is not a sin to have eyes, my love."

Gil sneers to himself. Thena has eyes. And while she wasn't openly admiring like Ben had - no matter how briefly - he knows she's seen them. He just...knows it.

"Gil?" Ikaris walks over to him, tugging at his own t-shirt now that boxes are moved or sets are arranged, or whatever they've been doing. "Wanna give us a hand?"

"Who is that guy?" Gil points blatantly at the man still chatting Thena up while she's trying to keep an eye on Jack and his friends.

Ikaris looks and shrugs. "Teacher."

Gil shakes his head at him. If Ikaris weren't both Thena's brother and Sersi's husband, sometimes he really wonders how they would have become friends. "Thanks, helpful--I meant how did he and Thena get to talking. She doesn't usually talk...with people."

It's not his most subtle tactic. But Ikaris doesn't seem to pick up on his greenish aura. "I heard him ask her a little about what she used to play. Guess they're talkin' about college sports?"

Gil's discomfort only increases, though. Thena did play sports when they were younger. He didn't. And he knows that she misses how she used to play soccer in high school and even in the first year of college.

His eyes are glued to them as Thena smiles and even laughs faintly as she talks to Whats-His-Face.

"What?" Ikaris asks him outright (no tact at all).

Gil huffs, deciding he's done just watching things unfold. "I don't think you'd like it if he was chatting up your wife."

Ikaris makes a face. "I guess not. But he's not. And Thena's not your wife."

Gil doesn't have a defense to that. He storms off so Ikaris can't announce to all the auditorium volunteers how flushed he is. Instead, he hurries up the little stairs onto the stage. "Uh, hey."

Thena stops dead in her conversation to smile at him, "hey."

He has to give it to him, if Mister Golden is bothered at all by the interruption, he doesn't let it show. "Hey, thanks again for helping out. The school doesn't have much to offer for things like these. Volunteering really goes a long way for the kids."

Gil tries not to scoff at Mister Perfect's magnanimous speech. He offers a stiff smile and hovers closer to Thena. "Yeah--I need Thena's help with the bake sale stuff, if you'll excuse us."

Thena lets him grasp her hand and all but pull her away. She only lingers enough to point over her shoulder, "Jack is in charge."

The other kids whine, but he's still riding the high of having all his 'cool' aunts and uncles help.

"Oh," Mister Friendly laughs faintly with a bright smile (and perfect teeth). "Well, it's already snowing out. You should stay warm inside."

Gil bristles as Mister Flirtatious' hand comes dangerously close to touching Thena's shoulder. He pulls her closer to him.

"I can give you a hand," he offers.

Gil is now borderline tugging Thena with him. "Thanks, but I need to, uh, ask her opinion on some things."

He wants to get right in the guy's face and tell him that of course he knows it's already snowing. He's not going to let Thena get cold! He rushes off the stage with her and makes sure to grab her coat off the back of one of the chairs. Maybe it's a bit obvious, but he loudly shakes it out and holds it up for her to slide her arms into the sleeves.

Mister Sunshine just smiles and waves before going back to watching the kids.

Gil sniffs. "He's friendly."

"Quite." It doesn't tell him what he wants it to. Usually Thena isn't warm to people just coming up and talking to her.

"What were you guys talking about?" he asks, realizing it's too late for him to be asking in a fake-casual way. He shoves his hands in his pockets as they walk out of the auditorium and head outside.

"He introduced himself as the physical education teacher," she states factually, which at least isn't the smitten fondness he was dreading hearing from her after their interaction. "He told me Jack is doing exceedingly well in his activities."

Of course that was his in; Thena is a sucker for talking about Jack, in any way, shape or form.

"Phastos is insistent Jack learn American football, but my practices with him have been paying off," she states with her nose all the way in the air with pride.

Gil laughs. Thena is determined to get Jack so hooked on it that he calls it football instead of the American 'soccer'. "It is a little less physical than football."

They get outside and Gil shoves his hands deeper in his pockets. Maybe it was dumb for him to get Thena's coat for her and not go looking for his own.

"Gil, aren't you cold?" she asks outright.

"It's okay, I just need a hand with a few of the trays," he excuses with a smile, unlocking his car from where they stand.

"What did you need my opinion on?"

Oh, right, the blatant and bold faced lie he told in order to soothe his own jealousy. What was he thinking? Ikaris was right, Thena isn't his wife--she's not even his girlfriend. But that never really bothered him so much as when he saw Mister Model up there chatting her up...showing off his abs to her.

"Gil?"

"Uh, well," he hesitates to get out as they step out from the school doors' cover and into the light evening snow. "I guess...do you think what I made will sell well?"

It's lame--it's super lame, and embarrassing. It's a bit late, isn't it? He's made a full dozen of five different desserts. Wouldn't he have asked this before he got so far into the process? And she and Jack were there when he baked them at Ben and Phastos'!

"Of course they will," she answers honestly, though. He likes the blunt and earnest realism on her more than Ikaris. "Your baking is always amazing. I'm sure the school will make back the cost of the play and then some."

"If they make the 'then some' I think I should get to keep the profit," he mutters. Thena laughs at his joke, but butter is expensive, and he's made three dozen different shortbreads! "Here."

He hands Thena a tray of the frosted cookies, which have to be separate from the rest to keep their design integrity pristine. He carries the other three trays himself and closes his trunk.

"It's nice that Jack is excited about it."

Gil smiles, some of his earlier agitation melting away. Thena, for all her insistence that she didn't like anything to do with children, lives for Jack. She loves coming to his school events, helping with parent stuff. He knows she's lied at her job so she can attend every single soccer game he has, even when they're at 4 in the afternoon on a tuesday.

"I didn't expect him to be so happy to have all of us here."

"Well sure," Gil chuckles, breathing a little easier now that it's just them. "Jack thinks you're the coolest aunt in the world. He's bragging to his friends right now about how you were a pro soccer player and know how to use swords."

Thena rolls her eyes modestly. "I keep telling him it's an amateur fencing class."

Calling it amateur is a disservice; Gil has witnessed a little of it giving her a ride once, and she dominates in it.

"I hope he never gets tired of having us around for things like this," she admits to him quietly, maybe even sheepishly. "Even when he's a teenager."

Gil smiles even wider, because Thena is just so sweet and loving under her calm and placid exterior. "I'm sure he won't. At least not you--maybe Uncle Ikaris."

Thena laughs, and it shows off her teeth in a cute way.

Gil shifts his load to open the door for her. He really didn't need help with anything, but he doesn't need to confront what it means that he was so desperate to get her out here with him just yet.

"There you two are, people are starting to arrive!"

"Sorry, just had to keep 'em nice and cold y'know," Gil murmurs as Sersi rushes forward to take Thena's tray for her. He sighs but Ikaris has some decency and extends his hands. Gil lets him take the top tray from him. "Are you sure I'm supposed to have this much real estate?"

Sersi waves a hand. "I've run this bake sale the last three years. I am not exaggerating when I tell you two parents at most will actually bring enough. Everyone else just brings a store bought cookie platter and lets it suffice. They don't sell well and they just take it home with them after the play."

"Gil will put them all to shame."

He blushes at the confidence Thena has in him. "If it's to help the kids put this play on again next year, then fine."

Ben has his phone out, snapping pictures. "They're gonna knock people's socks off, Gil."

"Thanks guys," he sighs as he unwraps his trays upon trays.

"They certainly look great!"

Gil's blood pressure spikes again. He turns and someone has let the golden retriever with a whistle around his neck out of the auditorium. "Thanks."

"Jack's been bragging about how his uncle is the best cook on the planet. I hope I can snag one for myself before the play!"

He's just being friendly, but Gil can feel his veins tightening under his skin with every word out of this guy's mouth. He looks at Ben, who's all excited and bouncing with his phone up. "What?"

Ben points.

Gil looks up, as does Thena. There's a pretty half-assed sprig of mistletoe hanging from the decorative archway put up over the table. He looks around; none of the other ones have this. He's ready to tell Ben to stop messing around. But then the presence of Mister Smiley and the memory of him flirting with Thena resurfaces in Gil's mind.

Thena's eyes go wide but she doesn't move as he pulls her closer. He slides his hand up her cheek, letting his palm angle and hide where their faces make contact, and not too briefly. Her eyes flutter closed.

Everyone's jaws drop (except Ben's).

Gil pulls away. He's kissed her close enough to her mouth that it will look the part, but not actually on her lips. But far away from her cheek that it can't be misconstrued from her view. He smiles as her eyes open again and she blinks at him.

He's never seen Thena blush before.

"You know I wouldn't kiss you without asking," he whispers before pulling himself away from her. "But, uh, come find me after the play is done?"

"H-Hm," she squeaks out, taking a few stiff steps away, her heels clicking like a fawn's hooves as it learns to walk.

Gil goes back to setting up his bake sale spread, some renewed vigour swirling in his chest. He peeks up from the table. Mister Perky seems to have gotten the hint and has started directing parents with trays to take the other (smaller) tables. Gil is satisfied.

Ben loudly snaps a picture, practically giggling. "Habibti, you're as red as the tinsel."

"Stop it! And delete that!"

Gil chuckles to himself as Thena rushes back into the auditorium and away from the commotion he's just caused. He does hope she comes find him after, and not just because he's her ride home.

Ikaris gives him a strange look but Sersi rushes him inside too. She leans back into Gil's view to give him an enthusiastic thumbs up. He blushes, but if Sersi thinks it was the right move then maybe he's onto something.

Gil takes a seat, ready to start selling. He has to admit that maybe he owes it to Mister Chatty to save him a brownie or something. But only if he gets to kiss Thena again later.

[miodiodavinci]

i saw that you used to hint at oc stuff on twitter (don't ask me why im digging im looking for zola stuff lmao) why don't you post more about them?

i am simply terrified that if i post oc things online someone will steal the concept and run with it faster and better than i ever could have and then i will be devastated forever and ever

more seriously i have very little to show for any of my oc things (adhd brain making life difficult as per usual awawawawawa) and every time i've shared oc things in the past i've ended up never following up on it and it makes me feel bad and guilty so i've just convinced myself i will Never talk about my ocs until i have something substantial i can put out there

[rosesonbreeze]

"I know you do." Anna agrees, understanding even if it's not who she is. She does this sort of work for a reason; Anna's an extrovert at her core. Most comfortable talking to people; old friends or virtual strangers. It makes her feel connected, puts life's stressors in perspective. But that is her, and not him. And in the same way he encourages her to slow down, then Anna thinks it's her prerogative to fan some abundance in his life. As much as is reasonable, anyway.

"Just a little bit. Enough to have a taste of... More." Not a gratuitous amount. Anna doesn't except Aiden to become a social butterfly, with a new dinner companion or party at every turn. Instead; "Someone to talk to about how obsessed you are with me." Coy as anything, and Anna's ego isn't rich enough to think that's the only think he'd talk to a friend about. But surely gushing about a new romance is a universal thing; guy or gal, extrovert or introvert. "Or save you at parties, when Tony and I can't fight immigration."

There's a twist in her stomach, not a bad one per se. But one that touches on a raw nerve that's only just healing. She's shared those worst memories; of not being enough for the person she's with, of worrying that Aiden will wake up and come to the same conclusion. Aiden, in all his directness and observation, catches that in so many subtle words. Hears the unconscious worry that plagues her. That distance and time apart may lead to the same conclusion. "I'm not saying you aren't. I trust you." She feels the need to echo, cheek leaning against the brush of his fingers. Because her neurosis isn't his to manage, no matter how her weakest moments get the best of her. "I don't want you to worry about that."

But if the feeling of worry rises, Aiden snuffs it before it grows larger. She follows him, because where else would she go? A sharp breath in anticipation when she finally gets to be with him. Properly, without a crowd or an ocean between them. Her arms around his shoulders, head tilted just so. Usually, she'd be in heels that helped bring her closer. Instead -- Anna's in her vans, and it's that sort of natural essence that makes it just right. One hand drifting along his back, playfully squeezing the area she's surprised Petra got into couture pants.

"Have I told you how good you look?" She'll say it, again and again, brush against his lips. A small smile of joy and relief, that it is still the same even after all their time apart. "Or how much I've missed you? I'm so happy to be home." Not in this lush space, or even his posh London flat. Rather, being home with him.

“Uhm, A—” an easy laugh tumbles past his lips as he shakes his head. He’s got that funny sort of, ‘I don’t know how to tell you this’ kind of look, even though she already knows, “I like being alone.” The too far and few moments of total peace and quiet are as important to the start of his day as they are some of the most vital highlights of its end. ‘Alone’ is the anchor that keeps him grounded, even in a field that thrives on flashy, loud, and high-energy. But again, he isn’t so dense as to not understand what Anna means.

“You want me to come outta my shell some.” Not because she wants him to change who he is, necessarily, but because… Well, she’s right. “Couldn’t hurt.” A repetition, an affirmation— it makes sense when you consider that most of the new things over the past months have been positives. He’s still working on the unprecedented challenge of socks getting lost in the wash.

Other than that, it would be an understatement to say that the shifts have been noticeable. His presence right now speaks for itself. Add in the fresh lines, the perfectly-tailored suit, and the dazzling accessories, and by appearance alone he looks brand new. He kind of feels it, too. Not entirely. Just enough to admit, “It’s… It hasn’t been too bad. Tonight, I mean.” He glances out toward the crowd, far more colorful than Anna’s closet in Battersea. “Couple’a weirdos for sure, but,” if he really considers it, “that’s anywhere, I guess…” When he turns back, there’s a sharpness to his gaze that could really only mean that he has something important in mind.

“When it comes to… That,” which is a decent substitution for those three naughty letters, just in case anyone else is listening, he runs the tip of his middle finger against her temple, then around the back of her ear. “—I’m staying far away from everyone who isn’t you.” He’s pleased to add, “I got two shoulders to prove it.” Along with every other part of himself that’s wholly off-limits to anyone outside the smallest version of their little bubble.

Aiden squeezes Anna’s hand and asks, “Come with me for a sec?” The journey is just a few steps off to the side, where two well-disguised service doors stand. He moves with the same swiftness that he did back in Paris, pushing one side with his back, then leading them into a narrower space without another soul in sight. It’s the kind of place he’d visited thousands of times before, back when he’d worked any position for a living.

Now, however, he takes the opportunity to wrap his arms around her — in the way he’d really wanted to — and press their lips together. Not quite the scandal she’d asked for, yet something more meaningful: the only way he’d want to greet her after all of the time apart. Deep. Unhurried. Reminding her that he's real, that he's here, and that he's hers.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Hrmm... put together a roommates quiz finally after years of thinking it would be an interesting idea lol.. Though obviously not meant to be taken super seriously, I just like thinking about this aspect of personality compatibility. Like yeah, maybe you could get along with someone just chatting with them, but living together is such a different thing. .. curiouse...

[allroseshave-their-pricks]

uuuuuuGGGGH I MISS SOCIAL DANCING

[clubpenguist]

friendly reminder that even if youre open about something on your blog, even if you think its so obviously right in your about/description/pinned/whatever, most of the people who will interact with you are not even looking that far at your blog. they dont know your name or your pronouns or your disabilities or your interests or your credentials or whatever you think is just *so obvious* that they *must* be intentionally ignoring it just to hurt you. ESPECIALLY not if theyre a random stranger who youve never interacted with once before, has never interacted with you once before either, and has absolutely zero reason to care about you. its not a personal attack, its just a fact. this is literally the internet

[tittyinfinity]

Imagine everyone is doing lines of coke in the bathroom together and when it comes to your turn someone says "sorry but I heard you're a parent and it would be irresponsible for me to give you this while you're child free and with other adults :/ I just think parents shouldn't do drugs sorry :/"