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love-kurdt · 11 months ago

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Anywhere I Want, Just Not Home (byler)

this is a continuation of my fic this is me trying! there are some details in this story that make more sense in the context of the previous plot, but it can do well as a stand-alone too!

word count: 2,693

warnings: negative aftermath of coming out, major depression and self-deprecating behavior/ thoughts, underage drinking

ficlet ao3 link

“I don’t know if I can do this,” I whispered, gazing at the garage door in front of me. Even when parked, my hands gripped the steering wheel of my 1988 Honda Accord until my knuckles turned practically translucent, which was not a surprise, considering how pale I was to begin with. My stomach churned with anxiety, something I hadn’t been able to shut off since coming back to Hawkins for the holidays. Everything felt… wrong. My heartbeat began to race, and my breathing started to hitch, but then, a strong, calloused hand met the back of mine and pried it off the wheel, and I turned to Will, who was in the passenger seat.

“Mike, this is my parents we’re talking about,” he reassured me, flipping my large palm over and pushing his thumbs into the muscles in my hand, making me go limp at Will’s touch. It was absolutely insane how Will always knew what to do. “It’s going to be fine.”

“But look at my parents!” I countered, lifting my free hand off the wheel and up into the air before planting it in between the strands of my long hair. Which was a mistake, as I’d tied it back an hour prior. Fuck it. I reached back and pulled the elastic out and shoved it around my wrist, shaking my head as if I were Simba in The Lion King. My hair was a lost cause. “Like, I knew my dad was ignorant, but—”

“Yeah, that was awful,” Will muttered in agreement. His eyes were slightly glazed over, likely at the memory of a few nights prior. Neither of us would look back fondly at the events of that night; Christmas at the Wheelers’ 1990™ would need to be fully processed at some point.

“Beyond awful, Will,” I lamented, turning in my seat fully and lifting one of my legs up in a ninety degree angle in order to sit more comfortably in my already-small car. I leaned my head against the headrest, my bangs falling into my eyes. “That was probably the worst coming out I could have ever predicted!”

“Which is why we’re going to ease into it this time around, right?” Will reminded me, and I rolled my eyes. “And remember, I’m already out to my mom and dad, and they’re fine with me,” Will continued, lifting my hand to his mouth to kiss my knuckles. “And they already love you.”

Goddamn Will and his knuckle kissing. “Yeah,” I surrendered, “I guess.” We sat there for a few seconds, and I savored this moment, this singular moment where it was just us, just me and Will, sitting in the car, holding hands, against the world, forever. I glanced up at the man in front of me, who broke the silence, much to my disappointment.

“We can’t sit in the driveway forever, we’ve gotta get out of the car at some point,” Will told me, and I frowned.

“Yeah, I know, just…” I trailed off, lowering my gaze down to Will’s lips. “Can I kiss you?”

“You know you never have to ask,” Will smiled, and I dove in immediately, capturing Will’s lips between my own. I lifted a hand up to Will’s face, and Will held my hand in place as we kissed. I hummed at the sensation of Will’s tongue, and Will broke into a toothy grin, effectively breaking the kiss. “Okay, we’re stalling. Let’s go.”

I opened the driver’s side door to the harsh December winds, teeth automatically chattering. Being skinny during the winter season was never a good time. I shuffled to the front of the car to meet Will, who pulled me by my hand down the front pathway and up to the door. Before Will could even knock, the door was opening, and Joyce was ripping Will out of my grasp.

“Will! Gosh, honey, I’ve missed you!” Joyce exclaimed, and wrapped her arms around her youngest son as if she hadn’t seen him in a million years. And I knew, for a fact, that Joyce had just been up to Chicago in November, over the weekend of the Upside Down Anniversary Effect. Her eyes, which had been shut tightly while embracing Will, snapped open and landed right on me. I gulped.

“Mike! What a lovely surprise!” Joyce cried out, and Will brought a hand up to cover his ear in pain as she released him from her vice-like grip. I raised my hand up in an awkward wave, but Joyce wasn't having any of that, as she pulled me down into one of those hugs where we’d sway side to side. Will watched in adoration, and I gave him the finger. She pulled back, eyes narrowing as I straightened my posture. “Have you gotten even taller since I last saw you?”

“Maybe,” I chuckled, rubbing the base of my neck nervously. “I’ve lost track of my height at this point.”

“Well, don’t just stand there and let the cold air in, come on in!” Joyce stepped aside, and I followed Will into the living room. “Jackets and shoes off, stay a while! Can I get you two anything? Hot cocoa, maybe?”

“Oh, no thank you,” I began, but Will cut me off.

“Yes please, we’d love some. That sounds amazing. Thanks, mom.” I had forgotten how Joyce wouldn’t leave us alone until she’d Smothered™ at least a little bit. I smiled to myself for a few seconds until Will vigorously tugged me over to the couch and shoved me down onto it, landing next to me not soon after. Will’s strength was something I had yet to get used to.

“What the fuck was that for?” I whispered. Even then, I couldn’t help but admire how beautiful Will’s lips were.

“Well,” Will whispered back sassily, “it just occurred to me that we never formulated a plan to tell them about—”

“Tell them about what?” a voice above them asked, and my focus raised from Will’s lips to the girl who stood behind the couch.

“Hey, you! I didn’t know you were back yet!” Will turned around on his knees on the couch, pulling his sister into a hug. El reciprocated the action, glancing over to me with a knowing smirk on her face.

“Hey, Mike.”

“Hey, El,” I replied, and shifted closer to Will so El could sit next to me on my other side. Her long hair fell in loose waves around her shoulders, over her fluorescent purple sweater, and into her lap. She probably hadn’t cut it since… back then.

“How are you? You seem better,” El noted, and I shrugged.

“As well as I can be. I’m starting a new book called The Dropout Chronicles of Mike Wheeler. Heading to your local Books-a-Million this January.”

“Oh, you were serious!” El gasped, and I nodded gravely. I didn’t want to elaborate upon my series of horrible decisions that led up to my sudden, life-altering downfall, so I went the vague route.

“Yeah. My… circumstances weren’t so great,” I told her, and she nodded in understanding. She brought one of her arms up and around my shoulders, shifting her body to face the fireplace in front of us.

“Well, I’m glad something good came out of all this,” she smiled. “You finally got your heads out of your asses,” she whispered the last part.

“That we did,” I chuckled, watching with El as the fire danced amongst the layered blocks of freshly chopped wood.

“Wheeler,” a gruff voice sent a chill up my spine. On instinct, I stood up and turned towards Hopper, who stood there in an unfamiliar getup of jeans and a reindeer sweater.

“Chief,” I stated, and held out my hand to shake, but Hopper ignored my hand in turn for a friendly clap on the shoulder. “How are you, son?”

I felt myself freeze, at a loss for words. Hopper had just called me “son.” My own father couldn’t even bring himself to look at me, but the fucking Hawkins Chief of Police could refer to me as… but at the same time, Hopper still had no idea that I was gay. So, in Hopper’s eyes, I was still normal. And yes, Hopper knew Will was gay, but I felt my vision go blurry at the mere thought of Hopper’s face when he figured out I was also gay, and just so happened to be dating his son. What then?

“I—” I forced out, but before I could begin to stutter out something embarrassing, Joyce came to the rescue with two gigantic mugs in her hands.

“Here’s your cocoa, boys,” she smiled, carefully setting the mugs down on coasters on the coffee table. “And I gave you extra marshmallows, Mike, just like you used to ask for when you were kids. Anyway, we were thinking about having a family movie night, what do you think?”

God. Family movie night. I felt my breathing constrict. I wrapped my arms around my chest and fought the tears that brimmed in my eyes, but I couldn’t stop them. Hopper had just called me “son.” Joyce just used the phrase “family movie night,” so fucking casually, referring to the “we” in the situation as everyone in the room, and by extension, me. And I’d never have that. Not from my biological family, at least. I hated the feeling of being unwanted, and by my own parents, no less.

“Mike, sweetie, are you okay?” I snapped out of my thoughts, feeling Joyce’s hand on my arm. I looked around, noticing that all eyes were on me. Leave it to Mike fucking Wheeler to cause a scene. Fantastic. Just what I needed.

“No, no it’s not you, Ms. Byers, I promise,” I shook my head quickly, and wrapped my arms around myself a bit tighter before continuing. “I, uh… something happened. On Christmas. And…” I couldn’t talk anymore. It was like my voice gave out, or my brain simply stopped working, but Will was quick to help me out, wrapping an arm around my waist as I spoke. I would have said something about being subtle, but everything was going to shit, anyway. So he might as well. I looked at the ground in shame.

“Let’s just say Mike’s not really welcome at home anymore,” Will told his family. There were a few gasps, followed by a beat of silence. I stood there, trying to ground myself, trying to absorb whatever comfort Will was conveying through his fingertips.

My eyes remained trained on the floor, but watched as a pair of very large reindeer slippers moved until they stood right in front of me. I lifted my head to see Hopper, staring at me. The man didn’t say a single word. Instead, he opened his arms, and pulled me into him by the back of my head. I took this strange embrace in, unsure of how this was going to go, but from the second my face met Hopper’s shoulder and I felt the fatherly embrace I craved but knew I’d never have from my own father, I broke down sobbing. Hopper’s other arm wrapped around my back as he continued cradling my head.

“I’ve got you, kid. I’ve got you. It’s gonna be okay,” he murmured, and I cried even harder. I couldn’t believe the turn of events this night was taking. Not even an hour before this, I had been freaking the fuck out about how Will’s parents would react to my identity. I gripped onto Hopper’s reindeer sweater tightly at the thought. I could barely fathom the fact that I’d ever compared Hopper to… Ted. They could not be more different.

“Even though you’re dating yet another one of my children, which we will have to talk about,” Hopper continued, and I could only let out a wet laugh at that, because it was true. “But it’s gonna be okay, kid. I promise.”

“Were we that obvious?” I heard from behind me, and I pulled away from Hopper so he could address Will directly.

“William. Let’s be real here,” he deadpanned, and I turned to see Will going a little pale. “I could sense your bubbly, lovesick giddiness from a mile away. You’ve been pining over Mike for, what, a decade?”

“Dad!” Will shrieked, and El started giggling.

“Plus, you two haven’t spoken in a year, and now all of a sudden you’re getting all cuddly on the couch. I put two and two together, sue me,” Hopper lifted his hands up, backing away and heading into the kitchen.

“Jesus, okay,” Will called after him, “I didn’t know you were keeping such tight tabs on my love life.”

Hopper laughed from the kitchen before coming back into the living room with a handful of VHS tapes.

“So does this mean we have to sleep in separate rooms…?” I hesitated, but Hopper waved his hand at us, the sheer shock nearly knocking me to the ground.

“Just keep the door open three inches and we won’t have any issues. That’s assuming Mike can actually follow directions this time around.”

“Yes, sir.” I replied, earning a light smack in the arm from Will, who pulled me down to kiss me on the cheek before we sat back down on the couch. Hopper knelt down to the VHS player as everyone else got situated around the living room. I laced my fingers with Will’s. I could get used to this.

“Alright. So I’ve got a few choices from Family Video: Captain America, GoodFellas, and It.”

“Two minutes till the countdown!” I heard Joyce announced to everyone over the music. “Where is everybody?! I want a good picture this year!” Jonathan finished setting up his camera on his tripod, turning back to Joyce with furrowed eyebrows.

“Wait, where’s Mike?”

“I’ll get him,” Will said, leaving the group for a moment and straying into the hallway to see me slumped against the wall. I lowered my red solo cup from my lips, grimacing as I crushed the now-empty cup in my hand.

“That was alcohol, wasn’t it?” Will asked, an concerned tone in his voice.

“Yeah,” I stated, plain and simple. There was no use in lying.

“We’re still nineteen, Mike,” Will pressed, and I rolled my eyes. That never stopped me from drinking before.

“And? It’s New Years, don’t be a killjoy.” I looked down at Will, who was glaring at me. Fuck. I didn’t mean that. I was drunk though, so I was allowed. But was I really?

“We’ll revisit this,” Will told me, pulling me by my free hand over to the kitchen, where I basketball-tossed the cup through the air and into the trash. I was surprised my aim was still intact. “Mom wants a photo.”

“I’ll take the photo if you need me to” I began, but Will turned around, stopping me in my tracks.

“Babe, come on. You’re family. Plus, Jonathan just got a new camera with a self-timer.” I blinked down at Will with hooded eyes.

“Fancy shmancy,” I giggled to myself, and Will sighed as he pulled me closer into his side, making sure I didn’t stumble, as we posed for the photo.

“Alright, I’m about to set it, everyone ready?” Jonathan called back, and retreated to his spot as the camera’s flash blinked. “One, two, three!”

“Ten seconds to midnight!” El whooped, and everyone hurried to gather around the TV for the countdown. I side-eyed Will who smirked back at me, our respective holds on each other tightening as we shifted to face each other.

The clock struck twelve, and everyone was celebrating around them, but to me and Will, everything else around us melted away. It had always been like that with them; Will was my entire world, and I was Will’s.

“Happy New Year, baby,” I told my boyfriend, who grinned back up at me with nothing but love reflected in his eyes.

“Happy New Year, Mike. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

As I leaned down to kiss Will, I felt optimistic for the first time in a long time. Maybe Hopper was right. Maybe everything would be okay.

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