#Jeff is use to to being called names actually

[pinterestsucksnow2024]

I had surgery right before rebloging that and am just now checking the activity on my blog and man... this was a trip.

I stand by my statment that Amnesia Guy With Confusing Phone is a good character as evident of how long it too me to figure out what someones response ment post anesthesia.

To answer the question, and for anyone who needs Ideas...

My phone has some of these from like... 2012 and I still barely remeber who goes with what:

That Guy (with a picture of Chrona from Soul Eater because That Guy was an entity who confused and frustrated me despite being one of my best friends) - jokes on us... I somehow assigned a nonbinary character to my friend who did not yet know she was trans. It took 10 years and its still hilarious.

Jonathan Frakes

John (and its just a picture of the band The Police) - I THINK this was a sound guy I did a gig with and I have way too many Johns in my phone.

Jeff - but I know it's my friend Stewart. I dont even get the joke anymore.

Kaylee - I THINK is a girl named Marie who I grew up. Idk who else would have earned that vibe. (Firefly reference)

Koala

Mal Reynalds - My cousin with a very proffessional picture

Naruto, Goku

My own FATHER is in my phone as a Terminator Reference:

Reese, Tech-Com

I have a scam call(?) Marked as "Who is calling and why are they calling?" With a stormtrooper for the icon. That alone would be fantastic for a story about amnesia if you had like... a secret agent plot with a normal guy.

So... to give an example of realism: I still get very confused by Jeff. That is NOT remotely that guys name. I know the other references in my phone but I obviously did not name Jeff. I only know it's Stewart because I know what our conversations look like.

I have no clue which of the 6 Jonathan's in my life got assigned a star trek reference. I probably need to clean that one out of my phone because IDK who that is. Same with John. I have a VAUGE memory of doing the Police as the picture because Sound Guy but even that is a weird association because there is no guy named John in that band.

Imagine not remebering things and having a situation requiring you to contact some rando in a phone and trying to figure out where Stewart is and it be under a guy named Jeff.

Another very real example is if someone else has to use said phone. I used to have BOTH parents under goofy names. My mom was something like "Zordon" from power rangers. Then I added her to my emergecy list so it was ICE Zordon.

Imagine someone having an emergency on the street and having to figure out who the heck ICE Zordon is and praying you have the right emergency contact and not some weird hotline.

Feel like I should add that this was on the list of "dumb shit I did from ages 13-18 that still haunts me" as a warning to anyone who would otherwise have a Skibidi Toliet where my phone at one point definitely had garys mod references. It wasn't until I had to sort out the Too Many Johns that I realized basic naming is actually worth it.

As for organization... yesnt. My phone is kind of a precarious record of eras and phases. My friends were named based on whichever character they were assigned when we went through a phase together. Kaylee, for example- Marie was a bubbly creative person who reminded me of the character from Firefly. I didnt anticipate adulthood pushing away that whimsy once I had work contacts and business dealings. I thought I would change it eventually, but over a decade later I still squint and try to jar the memory loose. That Guy brings back an instant memory of the smell of the courtyard on the first day of school when we were highschoolers playing Ninja and reading whatever successor to Warrior Cats.

I dont remeber or organize. Its all association. Method of Loci locked away in natural memory as senses and smells and visions of events.

Even with names, some of them dont mean anything. I think Zera was the name of someone who's phone was scammed and the scammer kept callin me. I remeber that because it was a scary lesson for me as a young college intern. Two Tori's and different last names - vauge familiarity but from where I dont know.

I know Goku belongs to a friend who may as well be my younger brother, though we don't talk since he went to med school.

Naruto automatically summons memories of long days in the study room on campus in college. High school lunch breaks discussing computer science.

The point is, believe it or not it was a strategy. I stopped doing it when I grew up but only after a bit of bullying and some misadventures. It was a survival trait adopted by a young naive teenager who was moving from a world of early online culture into a real world of people and connections.

It was never really about the organization or structure... it was about giving context to the interaction.

But if I were to lose those connections, that context... I would certainly have some questions about who That Guy is and why He /It/ [really just she] was in my favorites.

new character idea: dude who wakes up with amnesia for whatever reason and tries to go through their phone to figure out "ok who do i allegedly know well enough to get their help" except pre-amnesia!dude had all their contact names like this:

[chloesimaginationthings]

Vanny gets her sleepy FNAF guys mixed up,,

[spookyscarydemonbabe]

Filthy

Summary- Eddie gets a stomach dropping call from you, asking to pick you up and take you home from the party you were invited to. As soon as he arrives, he can see just how awful your night must’ve been. *i was informed that there’s two definitions for what a ‘Pig Party’ is so for context, a pig party is where guys only invite ‘unattractive’ girls*

Genre- Hurt/Comfort

Warnings- mentions of sa (nothing explicit), awful frat guys doing awful things

Tag List- @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @munsonology @esme-viridian @gvf23 @wheels-of-despair @goatsmcgee @flawiette

(if you’d like to be added to the tag list please let me know 🖤)

Word Count- 4.6k

“That’s not fair!” Grant whined from his spot at the lunch table, “Why do you get to go to some big college party and not us?!”

“Because,” You had said once again with an eye roll, “I was the only one that got invited. Besides, it’s supposed to be a date. I think?”

“You think?” Jeff asked after sipping from his can of Pepsi.

“Yeah, i mean the guy didn’t ask officially if i wanted to go as a date, he just said i looked like i’d fit in and he’d love to bring me.”

“Who even is this guy?” Eddie asked with a shrug, his arms crossed over his chest.

“His names Chris, i met him at the mall last weekend. Why, you mad he got to me first?” You said with a grin, noticing the dusting of pink on the apples of Eddie’s cheeks the moment you mentioned your college boys name.

“No, i’m asking because we’ve never met the guy, and to be honest with you… i don’t think he’d walk up to any random girl and ask them to go to some party with him.”

The table went quiet for a moment.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You asked, your tone easily giving away your anger.

“Dude, i’d shut it if i were you.” Gareth said quietly to Eddie.

“No,” You said as you leaned back on your chair, eyebrows furrowed in frustration and your arms crossed over your chest as you waited for a response from Eddie, “I want him to explain himself. What, am i not pretty enough to get approached by college guys?”

“I didn’t say that!” Eddie argued.

“What is it then, are you jealous of him? Or maybe you’re just pissed because i got invited to a college party and you only show up when they need drugs?”

“Hey, quiet down (y/n).” Jeff whispered to you, trying his best to calm the situation down before it got any worse.

“No! I’m tired of you always being such an asshole whenever shit like this happens. You’re supposed to be my friend, you’re supposed to be happy for me when things like this happen but every fucking time you always get so pissy about it.” You stood up quickly, the metal legs of your chair screeching on the linoleum floor as you grabbed your bag, “Talk to me again when you decide to stop being a child.”

You hit his shoulder hard as you walked past, the boys staring as they watched you exit the cafeteria and enter the halls through the double doors. Gareth turned to Eddie with an annoyed look in his eyes,

“Again? Really?”

“What?!” Eddie yelled out, “What did i do?!”

“Eddie, she’s right. Every time something good happens to her, especially when it’s got something to do with some guy, you manage to get yourself bitched at because you’re too much of a pussy to actually tell her you like her.”

“I do not!” Eddie argued back. The raised eyebrows and frustrated stares were enough to tell Eddie that he really did do the same thing every time. Without even noticing. “…Do i?”

“Yes!” The three shouted in unison.

“That’s what happens when you don’t accept that you like her…” Jeff chuckled to himself, teasing Eddie as the other boys joined in a laugh.

“Oh please, like you guys don’t get jealous about stuff like that too.” Eddie rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, but at least we don’t have to see and talk to the girls we like every day. You do. That’s why it’s different.” Grant joked, clearly trying to get a rise out of Eddie.

“Me and (y/n) are just friends. That’s it. Always have been… Always will be.” Eddie sighed.

“You hesitated.” Gareth chuckled.

“Shut the fuck up. You’re wrong, we’re friends. I don’t know why i get like that, i just can’t help it.” Eddie shrugged and slumped in his seat, so unsure of himself.

The thought of you being with him had never crossed his mind, but the signs were there. He thought back on all the other times he’d been an asshole to you over something like this, and the guys were right, it always had something to do with you being involved with some guy.

“Whatever man, if you gotta tell yourself that to be happy then so be it.” Gareth smiled and downed the last of the can of Dr. Pepper in front of him before standing to clear the table. The other boys followed suit, clearing the lunch table before grabbing their things and heading off to class.

Eddie was never the school type, but now he couldn’t keep his thoughts straight. All he could think about was you.

Did he like you?

He couldn’t. Like he had always said, you were just friends. Every guy gets a little irritated when their friend blows them off to hang out with someone else. Every guy gets jealous when hearing about how good a date was the night before. Every guy can’t help but get nervous when their friend asks how they look when trying on a new dress. Every guy gets tense when their arms get grabbed to keep together in the halls.

Didn’t they?

All he could think about was every single interaction the two of you had since you’ve met, and wether he wanted to admit it or not, every single thing was an indication of a crush. And he hated knowing that not only were the guys right to be teasing him about something so childish, but he hated knowing how you must’ve felt whenever he treated you badly.

The rest of the day was a blur.

He managed to finish classes, drive home, and lay in bed staring at the ceiling without any perception of time. He didn’t even notice Wayne calling into his room nearly 30 minutes ago to tell him dinner was ready.

It consumed him.

You. How he treated you. And how he shouldn’t have been stupid enough for even himself to not notice how much he really liked you. All he had hoped was that this was something he could apologize for. It was definitely deserved.

As Eddie sighed and finally sat up on the edge of his bed, he jumped in surprise from the sudden ringing of the phone in the hall. He checked the clock and saw that it was already 7 pm, and at this point Wayne would’ve been gone for work.

He stood and stretched, wandering into the hall and taking the phone off of the handset at its fourth ring.

“Hello?” He groaned out.

“Eddie?…”

His attention was grabbed immediately. As soon as he heard your voice whimper his name on the other end he was filled with a mixture of relief and concern.

“Hey, (y/n), are you ok?”

“No…” He could hear a faint sniffle, and the shakiness of your voice was indication enough for him to tell that tears had been shed, “Can you please come get me?”

“Yeah! Yes, of course, where are you?” Eddie frantically searched for his keys, pulling the spiral cord as far as it could go into his room as he grabbed his jacket.

“I’m at that party… 247 Stewart Street, it’s just past the mall…”

“I’ll be right there! Stay put ok? I’ll be there in less than 15, i promise.”

Eddie hung up the phone and quickly ran outside to the van, shoving the key into the ignition and pulling out as fast as he could onto the gravel road. He didn’t know what happened, but he did know that whatever happened to make you so uncomfortable and worried enough to call him of all people it must’ve been bad.

He sped out onto the road, not even bothering to pay attention to the stop signs unless he knew there was a cop waiting around the corner. He didn’t want to take any chances of anything else happening, or god forbid something else happening to you. Eddie was just thankful that he could tell exactly which house it was on the street.

It was a larger house near the end of the street, cars filled the driveway and out on the lawn he saw a few girls comforting each other as one stood in the middle. Her cheeks were red and her eyes filled with tears. Whatever happened inside, it couldn’t be good.

He parked the van in front of the driveway, blocking in the freshly waxed cars that were parked so neatly with his van. It may have been a shitbox, but it made a damn good barricade.

Eddie couldn’t help the anger bubbling up inside. This was more than just a little tiff happening and you needed him for backup, you gave him a cry for help and there was no way in hell he was going to ignore it. He took one last deep breath to calm himself, or at least to keep him from immediately throwing punches as soon as the front door opened.

His fist pounded on the door and he stood there and waited with his arms crossed over his chest. At least he knew that given his reputation he could be pretty intimidating. The door slowly opened and a college age looking boy opened the door with a smile and a half filled red solo cup in hand,

“Can i help you?” He smirked, looking Eddie up and down.

“Where’s (y/n)?” Eddie said sternly, more like a demand than a question for whoever this boy was and the gaggle of clones behind him.

“Oh!” He laughed, “Yeah, her. She locked herself in the bathroom down the hall,” The boy stepped back and held his arm out to welcome Eddie inside, pointing him in the direction of the door beneath the stairs, “She’s all yours.” He laughed before taking a swig from his cup.

Eddie wandered inside, not before ‘accidentally’ bumping into this stranger and causing whatever drink was left in the cup to spill all down the front of his polo.

The other guys inside were all the same. Drunk, rich, and certainly not paying any attention to any of the girls that they had asked to come to this party. Eddie noticed a few others sitting on the den couch together silently.

He leaned into the bathroom door and rapped his knuckles against it gently,

“(y/n)? It’s Eddie, you in there?”

Without a second to catch his breath the door swung open and your arms wrapped tightly around his torso. He couldn’t get a good look at your face, but your eyes were swollen and your cheeks red. You must’ve been crying in there until he had come to get you.

“Please take me home…” You whispered up to him without even as much as looking at him.

His arm went around your shoulder to guide you out the door, your face looking down at the ground, shielding yourself from the smiling and snickering faces of the boys around you. Eddie could feel your arms grip him tighter as one of them said ‘Bye (y/n)’ in a mocking tone.

To say he was pissed would be the least of it.

Eddie slowly walked you out to the van, opening the passenger side door for you and helping you inside. He had finally noticed how put together you looked, how your makeup had been smeared down your cheeks from the tears, how your dress was bunched up at the end in your hands. He needed to know what the hell happened inside to not only cause you so much despair, but the other girls too.

He walked around to the drivers side and slammed his door, sitting there in silence for a moment before turning over to you,

“What happened in there (y/n)?” You could hear how concerned he was, but having to repeat the events from earlier would’ve made you break down again.

“Nothing… Just please, take me home…” You said quietly.

“No.” Eddie said angrily, grabbing your attention, “Tell me what happened.”

“Eddie please…”

“(y/n), the last time we talked today you stormed off so pissed at me it seemed like you never wanted to breathe the same air as me. You call me, sobbing, telling me to come get you at a place i know you’ve never been to. That house is full of drunk assholes and every other girl here is in the same position you are, meanwhile they’re all inside being buddy-buddy and having the time of their lives. What did they do to you?”

He needed to hear it from you that you were alright, but your silence was only scaring him more. Your eyes shut tight as you took a deep breath, a few stray tears falling down your cheeks as you thought over the last hour once more in your head. It was so difficult to say, but you knew Eddie wouldn’t leave you alone until he knew what the problem was.

“(y/n), please.” He was pleading with you to speak, “Did they hurt you? Did they… touch you?”

“No.” You whimpered.

“Tell me.” Eddie wasn’t asking, he was demanding. Not for your own good, but for those assholes inside.

You took one last deep breath, your head resting in your hand as your arm propped you up against the passenger side door.

“Everything was fine at first. That guy Chris, the one from the mall, picked me up and kept telling me about how it was gonna be such a great night.” You paused for an eye roll and a quick wipe away of the tears starting to pool in your eyes again, “All the guys inside already had their dates there, and they’re all super nice girls, and we all really got along so we were with each other having a good time while the guys were in the other room. They said they were getting the last big thing set up for all of us.” Eddie listened so intently on every word, giving you all the time you needed and as many breaks to sniffle or recollect your thoughts as you needed, “When they called us into that main dining room the table was set up and in the middle of the room…” You paused and shut your eyes tight, shaking your head in disbelief that something like that had actually been thought out and planned by those assholes, “there was a pig that had a crown on it and they tied a name tag to it that said ‘Michelle’. It was a pig party and i guess she was the ‘winner’.” You said with air quotes, looking out Eddie’s window and seeing her crying in the yard, quickly pointing over to her. “That’s her. She’s really nice, she’s a freshman studying Biochem at their college.”

To say Eddie was enraged would be the least of it.

How dare they humiliate not only you, but all those other girls they had invited. Eddie knew how excited you were about this, and he can’t imagine how all those other girls felt when you finally realized the real reason why they were invited. Not one of them deserved to be treated this way, and he was shocked to see how pretty all those girls were. They were people too, and no one deserves to feel that way.

Eddie peered out his window and saw Michelle and her friends start to calm her down. Each one of them was dressed up so nicely, their hair and makeup done. They must’ve been getting ready for hours for this, only to be shot down the moment they set foot through the door.

He’d handle this.

“I’ll be back.” He said through gritted teeth, quickly reaching over and grabbing something from the glovebox before slamming the door behind him.

“Eddie…” You said with concern, not wanting this to turn into another night where the cops were called, “Eddie.” You followed behind him quickly, leaving the van after him.

He turned to you and grabbed your shoulders,

“(y/n). I can handle this.” Eddie looked into your eyes, and you could sense that though he wanted to rip them a new one, he wasn’t going to end up in handcuffs by the end of the night, “Tell the other girls they can wait in the van, there should be enough seats, and just wait for me. Ok?”

You took a slow, deep breath, nodding your head as you glanced over to Michelle and the other girls on the lawn,

“Ok. I’m trusting you to not get yourself in trouble again.”

“I won’t.” Eddie flashed you a smile that told you all you needed to hear. He can take care of this.

You parted ways, you wandering over to the group of girls on the lawn as Eddie walked back up to the front door. Just as he was about to knock, the girls sitting on the sofa inside had gathered and made their way outside, flinching a bit as they saw Eddie at the door. He offered them a sympathetic smile as they walked over to you and the group of girls on the lawn. Eddie put on his game face, and he was thankful his over the top acting from DMing so many sessions would finally pay off.

“Hey!” He said with a smile to the same guy that answered the door for him, “(y/n) just told me all about this party,” He leaned in with a cheeky smile still on his face, “you were really able to pull this off that easily huh?”

“Yeah man!” He replied, obviously drunk, “And it was so easy too! Who are you by the way?”

“Oh, I’m Michael,” Eddie was quick to think up a fake name, “she called me to come pick her up but honestly… It’s too funny to not call up my friends and tell them about it.” Eddie laughed along with Chris, happy that his act was going over so well. “Can i use your phone man? The whole school needs to know about this.”

“Go ahead, in the kitchen,” Chris hiccuped as he pointed down the hall, “should be on the wall. Help yourself go this stuff too man, you’re welcome to stay.” Chris chuckled, “And you know, if you want, i can put in a good word with the head of the frat for you. We definitely could use someone like you here.”

Eddie nodded as a quick ‘thank you’ and wandered through the maze of other sloppy drunks to the kitchen phone. He recognized a few faces from a couple of deals he made over the summer, he was just hoping they didn’t recognize him. As Eddie entered the kitchen he could see the pig still in the dining room, the wooden plank with Michelle’s name on it was still hung around its neck. He was disgusted, but if he got this far, he knew the rest of the plan would work out.

Eddie took the phone off the handset and quickly dialed in Gareths number, hoping he wouldn’t take forever to pick up.

“Hello?” Gareth said, confused as to who could’ve been calling him this late.

“Hey, it’s Eddie. Call up the guys and be at the diner in 20.”

“What? Eddie, it’s like 9 o’clock at night, why?”

“I’ll explain when i get there. Something happened with (y/n) at that party, and now i’ve got a van full of girls that need some knights in shining armor.”

“Done. See you in 20.”

Eddie chuckled quietly to himself as he turned his body to the wall, making sure no one could see him punch in the number of Hawkins’ police station. They picked up on the first ring, and Eddie smiled as he placed his hand into his pocket, palming the baggie he took from the glovebox.

“Hawkins Police,” Eddie recognized the voice from his various encounters and adjusted himself to fix his voice, “what is your emergency?”

“Hi,” Eddie deepened his voice enough to make himself sound more grown up, maybe then they’d take it a little more seriously, “there’s a house just down the street from mine and they’re having some kind of party? They’re loud, they’re obnoxious, and to be frank, i wouldn’t be surprised if they were smoking some funny stuff in there too. There was smoke billowing out the upstairs window like a chimney!”

“Thank you sir, what’s the address?”

Eddie grinned wide and relayed the fraternity address back to the officer on the other end. For someone with a decent amount of run ins with them before, talking to the cops was a lot easier than he thought. Especially when he wasn’t the one in trouble.

He hung up the phone and cleared his throat, holding the baggie tight in his pocket to keep it secure as he glanced around to find the perfect hiding spot for it. As soon as he spotted one of the letterman jackets across the back of a chair he knew it was the perfect obvious spot for one of these idiots to stash a bag of weed. And enough to get them put away, at least for the night.

Eddie made himself seem so comfortable in there he figured they wouldn’t bat an eye if he had been wandering for a bit. He approached the jacket, passing the pig through the dining room as it lay underneath the table snoring away. It was so much easier than he thought it would’ve been.

Just as quickly as he came in, he made sure to get himself out of there quickly. Not before putting on his little act again as he said ‘goodbye’ to the few of them that were able to slur their words out as best as they could. With all the liquor they’ve had combined with that weed stashed in the pocket of whatever poor asshole the jacket belonged to, he was certain justice would be served. Rightfully this time.

Just before Eddie made his way out the door, Chris gave him a wave and called him over, clearly drunk. As badly as he wanted to leave, he had to keep this act up. Eddie wandered over to him with a smile on his face, grabbing Chris’ hand as he stuck it out for Eddie to take,

“Leaving? Already?”

“Yeah, i gotta get home,” Eddie groaned, “thanks for letting me use your phone, this’ll be all over the school by tomorrow.” He said with a laugh.

“Perfect.” Chris said with a smile, doing his best to keep his words clear, “And remember, if you want, i’ll put in a good word for you next year. Make sure they don’t go to hard on you with the hazing.” He said with a wink before patting Eddie on the back and going back to fill his solo cup.

Eddie nodded and swiftly made his way out the door, seeing the girls no longer on the lawn calmed his nerves a little bit. He glanced back to the house as he walked to the van, smiling big to you as he climbed into the drivers seat.

“Let’s get out of here, i called the cops so they should be here any minute.”

“Oh god, what did you do?” You groaned as he started up the van, you and the girls in the back rows of seats quickly buckling in. You made sure to warn them of Eddie driving the moment they stepped inside.

“You know,” Eddie shrugged as he made a quick u-turn to leave the subdivision, “left them a little parting gift hidden in one of their jackets.”

“You didn’t.” You couldn’t help the smile slowly tugging at your lips. Good, they deserved whatever they have coming to them. “Eddie, these are the girls .” You motioned to the group of six girls in the rows behind you, “Girls, this is Eddie. He’s gonna take us all home.” The other girls behind you offered kind smiles and quiet ‘hellos’ as Eddie smiled and nodded his head to them.

“Oh yeah, about that, change of plans.”

You snapped your head back to face him with a look of confusion on yours and the other girls faces,

“What do you mean?” You asked him, and he could hear the slight worry in your voice.

“I called some friends up, they’re gonna meet us at the diner. I know it’s not the fanciest place,” He glanced up in the rear view mirror to look at the girls in the back of the van, “but i feel bad for how those guys treated you back there. Besides, you all got dressed up and you look good, i didn’t want that to go to waste.”

The girls smiled to themselves, and even you were blushing at how sweet it was of Eddie to still make sure you had the best night that you could. Especially under the earlier circumstances.

The drive to the diner was short, and as Eddie pulled the van in you saw Gareth, Jeff and Grant leaned up against Jeff’s car in the parking lot. They had seen you from the passenger side and gave their usual smiles and waves, and you knew from the way they had looked more put together than normal that Eddie had to have mentioned there would be girls involved. They approached the van as Eddie put it into park and he quickly stepped out, rushing over to the other side to slide open the back door for the girls before opening the passenger door for you.

“Thank you.” You said with a smile as Eddie held his arm out to assist. You turned to the girls as they started to slowly make their way out of the van, “Girls, this is Jeff, Gareth and Grant,” You said as the boys approached the van with smiles on their faces as each one of the girls made their way out, “they’re friends of mine, they’re very nice.”

Each of the boys gave them a kind smile and the girls gave them one back, trying their best to make sure that they still looked good after being at that party. But they were excited to know that there were at least a few more nice guys out there, and with you vouching for them they knew that it would be so much better being around them than with those frat boys.

As you all slowly made your way inside, each of the boys with a girl on either side of them, you trailed back with Eddie as they all got more acquainted with one another.

“Hey,” You grabbed Eddie’s forearm and gently pulled him back, “thank you, for everything tonight. I know i was kind of bitchy at school today…”

“No, don’t apologize! I’m sorry for always being so pissy, i guess i just don’t know what comes over me whenever you mention stuff like that.” He shrugged, and though he knew exactly why he always acted that way, he didn’t want to drop it all on you at once. After the night you’d had, you needed something else on your mind.

“You know,” You say teasingly, taking a step closer, “i think it might be jealousy.”

“Jealous?” Eddie laughed, “(y/n), i’m not jealous.” You stared him down for a moment with a smile on your face, your arms crossing over your chest. Eddie knew when he was found out. “Ok, fine. Maybe i might be just a little bit jealous. Happy?” He smiled.

“Very.” You shrugged, taking one last step to close the gap between you two, planting a quick kiss onto his cheek, “Come on,” You grasped his arm and tugged it as you made your way to the door, “You can make it up to me with a milkshake.”

[the-s1lly-corner]

Calling various CRP pretty boy

Yoinking this prompt from the slasher version of this post because i kind of enjoy this prompt a more than normal amount and I like feeding all my followers regardless of what fandom they follow me for

Characters: Slenderman, Masky, Hoodie, Ticci Toby, Eyeless Jack, Laughing Jack, Jeff the Killer

Notes: reader is GN, written on mobile

CWs: none

SLENDERMAN

He gives little to no reaction to you, as expected as a lot of forms of affection dont mean all that much to him

Not that he doesn't treat you with love and care, he does because he knows you like it

Receiving is just a little odd for him, possibly because it's so foreign to him- but at least he doesn't reject you!

Asides from his lack of response, there isnt much else to note! Over time he does begin to respond to it if you keep calling him that

MASKY

He doesnt talk all that much so the lack of verbal response doesnt surprise you all that much

He prefers being called handsome, if you insist on saying something about his looks

Mild confusion because hes never taken his mask off around you, the most hes done is lift it up to eat or kiss but even then...

Suspicious that you've peeked when he wasnt aware or conscious- probably not the best nickname

HOODIE

Doesnt talk at all, so once more the lack of verbal response doesnt come as a surprise

You haven't seen his face yet you call him pretty boy... you might actually be able to convince him to take his mask off for you so you can confirm if he really is a pretty boy

He does respond to the name and seems to at least enjoy it a little bit

Will occasionally ignore you until you call him pretty boy, not a common occurence though

TICCI TOBY

Mix of leaning into the name and calling you pretty in return, but I can also see him slightly rejecting it

He knows you mean it, more than likely- but hes so used to not being treated nicely that he cant tell if you're secretly making fun of him or not

Brings it up passively and hides it behind jokes but it's so obvious hes a little suspicious of you

Firmly reassure him that you really do think hes pretty, bonus if you point out specific parts of his face that you like!

EYELESS JACK

He considered himself average before the cult, nowadays he cant look in the mirror... though that's less of a self confidence thing and more of a trauma thing

He has mixed feelings about being called pretty boy, in general and due to the circumstances

Let's you continue calling him pretty boy, quietly keeps his thoughts to himself

He may grow onto it with enough time

LAUGHING JACK

Giddy, he already has the idea that hes cute but the thought that you think hes pretty really does it for him

Returns the energy and says he thinks you're really cute, he could just eat you up!

Takes the sudden nickname really well and adopts it as a new pet name between the two of you

He kind of perks up like a dog when you say a word they like around them

JEFF THE KILLER

Honestly he would expect you to call him pretty boy, though be doesnt need to remind you of something he already knows as fact

Pretty, handsome, cute, beautiful... call him any of those and hes going to let you know he already knew he was attractive

WILL notice if you stop calling him pretty boy, making it a habit... and you just stop calling him that out of the blue

A little huffy about it but hes going to act like hes not pressed about it- he doesn't want to come off as desperate for attention

[deadghosy]

I love your work so much imagine ben Drowned in hasbin hotel.

Them crawling out of the TV and alistor is like I don't like tv but can you mess with vox😭.

SURE!! LOL! 🦆💗If anyone wants to do a creepypasta! Reader, I will make it a fanon version cause that’s most easier since I’ve always seen the fanon side of creepypasta when I was into the fandom💗

HAZBIN HOTEL X BEN DROWNED! READER

prompt: after jumping into a tv to hide from being stabbed by Jeff…you accidentally went into a show called HAZBIN HOTEL……

Your dumbass didn’t even check what was on tv…it was just left on as you are now falling to a city in a shape of a…..pentagram?

Welll shit…you are in a hell cartoon…

Meanwhile with Jeff: “where the fuck is that short tacked bitch…” he said holding his knife tightly as his eyes glanced at the tv. “That bastard!”

MEANWHILE WITH YOU: You pointed to a service pole and started to surge through the electrical wire into some random old tv box. You pressed your hand through the tv screen and came out of it. As you came out of it a gasp was heard to see a bunch of characters…..oh boy…

After basically getting chased around the hotel and interrogated…they let you stay by Charlie’s words as she was excited to have another member to her crew at last. 

Few weeks later, they have gotten use to you. I mean Alastor still keeps an eye on you as you play games and go through electronics around the place.

Angel thinks it’s funny for you to hack Valentino’s page to make his bio say “I have a small dick.”

Vaggie makes you go out on errands until she can find you a decent duty at least. But she appreciates how you help around a lot.

Husk thinks your pretty annoying because of your gen z & gen alpha humor. I headcannon ben and you to basically be a media specialist to learn the lingo around and to understand the generation.

“Hey husk…” “hey kid…” “you’re so not alpha male…” “…the fuck?” “Sooo not slay.” “Get the fuck out my face.” *cue you doing a gremlin ass laugh*

I can see Velvette making fun of you for wearing the link fit😭 she would be confused as if you were a stinky cosplayer kid-

“GOOD HELL?! What are you wearing dear..” the female vee says as you look down to your link outfit. “What’s wrong with it? I think I look ✨f a b u l o u s✨” you said with sass

“You look horrendous. THAT’S what you look like.” Velvette says. You rolled your eyes as she snapped her fingers giving you black converses, tan brown pants, and a green hoodie. She had let you keep your link hat as you actually liked how you looked.

Maybe when you get back to slender’s mansion you can spend his card to buy an outfit like this.

I imagine Charlie or niffty trying to wipe off the blood tears of your eyes thinking you were crying as you stand there like “what is going on-🤨” most definitely the face look like this “:T”

Angel dust brought you a gaming set from a thrift shop as you smiled happily at this and started to play….only to find out it had knock off versions of the games in the human world….impta?! (GTA) PENTACRAFT?! (Minecraft) hellmon?? (Pokémon)

You immediately thrown the gaming set outside and decided to go hack Vox’s system for fun again.

I can imagine reader sending random “if you don’t like this, Lucifer is coming for you.” posts to random sinner to fuck with them.

I can DEFINITELY see Alastor asking you to go mess with Vox’s tech even if he doesn’t like those picture boxes. “Ben/Reader, my fine fellow..I got a favor to ask of you.” After he asked you to go mess with this dude named Vox. You smiled as you transported into your own tv and go to the vee tower.

You hacked into Vox’s system as he spit his coffee out to see “nya cat” on all his computers and devices as you snicker seeing Vox’s face trying to fix it. You laughed showing yourself as your bloody tears roll down your face because of laughing. “WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!” Vox asked angrily

“IM YOU! BUT BETTER! GET HACKED LOSER!” You said before disappearing from his system as Vox claws his desk in anger.

Alastor had a good chuckle when you told him what you did. “I never liked this picture boxes…but you my friend, are true entertainment.” After this your relationship with Alastor grew as he would pay you handsomely with snacks as you go and piss Vox off on any other day.

Valentino and Vox hate your guys to the point they want to kill you while Velvette is just chill with you as she helps you with your outfits and aesthetics.

I imagine since Ben drowned also looks like link, you have long hair like link but sometimes cut it down to bit length to not trip on it.

You give off that “new worker at McDonald’s” vibes as you would just play around instead of helping the residents😭

“Can I have keycard?” “….how about no?”

I imagine you just tapping on and off a lamp post boredly as Valentino keeps going towards it and away from. “On….off…on…off…” you liked to mess with people

You had tapped on sir Pentious’s device once and it exploded…yeah you were pretty much banned from his room and lab. But it was worth it.

You definitely wrestle with husk as husk will just try to claw out your eyes only him to just get pepper sprayed by you.

“AGG MY FUCKIN' EYES!!” “I didn’t know this shit would work on demons..”

Lucifer was definitely intrigued with your appearance as you seemed like a human. But also had a demonic appearance. So he questioned you and you just kept saying “SWAG!” He got tired of it and demanded you as the ruler of hell.

It didn’t work as you just shrug with a “:D” face and transported into a wire. Lucifer was bamboozled as he just stood there like “what just happened”

You showed niffty how to beat any person during a game as you, yourself is a hacker and can beat any game personally.

You looked at the phone that you stole from that flat faced dude as you smirked having an idea as you transported into the phone to try and go find Jeff. And lucky you did as he was sitting on the couch watching wrestling.

“Heyyy buddy.” You said looking through the tv to see Jeff. He scoffed seeing that his favorite program was ruined by your face. Jeff turned off the tv. Your face was like a pikachu shocked face. “THAT BITC-”

[ashprince-of-bel-air]

A Late-Night Session.

A/N: I'm not gonna lie, this is purely self serving one-shot, I'm sure I dreamt about this so I wanted to write it.

Summary: You were part of the Hellfire crew and had just finished your most recent campaign, Eddie invited you over for the night after the rest of the club had left.

Warnings: reader is afab. It does include smut so 18+, both the reader and Eddie are at least 21.

Eddie slumped back into his throne with a smile, he had been in charge of this story for a while, and it had finally come to conclusion. The cheers from the rest of your party made Eddie smile enthusiastically, you could not help but look at him, you loved seeing how happy DnD made him. Eddie’s smile was intoxicating to you and was pretty much the only reason you attended the weekly Hellfire meetings at this point. Yes you had enjoyed DnD in your younger years but now all you went for was the enigmatic leader, Eddie Munson. He was so energetic and passionate, you had never met a dungeon master like him. You were almost sad that your current campaign had ended, hoping he would come up with another one so you could all play together again and you could be in his company.

You all cheered wildly at the end of the campaign, your group being victorious against Asmodeus. It was a difficult campaign, but you and your team made it through, celebrating your win thoroughly. The night of your win was a wild one by DnD standards, you all ate too much and tried not to drink yet in front of the younger players, you could do that later. The young ones spilled out of the room, leaving to catch their rides early into the night. The older ones, like Gareth and Jeff, left a little later leaving you to clean up, not that you minded. It left you and Eddie alone, this was something that you had become used to, each week everyone would have a reason why they could not stay and help clear up. You did not mind though, you enjoyed your private time with Eddie, just the two of you, it was the favourite part of your week, you both flirted with each other, but neither would be brave enough to make an actual move. There had always been a palpable chemistry between the two of you, it was obvious to everyone that saw you together, however you both seemed to tiptoe around it.

This week, Eddie told himself it would be different, he would ask you back to his place and he would finally make a move against you. It had burned up inside of him each day he saw you that he did not act upon his attraction to you, he wanted to claim you as his before anyone else had the chance to. The air was quiet as you had both started to clear the chairs and cards away, you never wanted to interrupt Eddies workflow, he had a system for how he worked, and you respected it. You both tidied up in silence for a while until Eddie’s deep voice broke the silence between you.

“So, Y/N…. You got any plans for tonight?” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously as he asked, he wanted to seem cool and confident, but his current form was betraying him, you turned to focus on him and your heart melted. He looked so cute and anxious that it made you smile.

“Eddie, I’m actually flattered that you think I have any sort of social life outside of DnD” You joke and smile softly at him. Eddie had always loved your playful nature, he had often wondered why you were not more popular than you were, you seemed so approachable and enigmatic to him, you were due to leave for college this year and he wanted to try and shoot his shot before you left and found someone whilst you were away.

“Well, I don’t know what you get up to in your spare time, Princess” You turned back around to stack the chairs away but you could almost feel the smirk that was plastered on his face, he was the only one that was allowed to call you Princess, you hated hearing the name from any of the other guys but Eddie got a free pass with it, for some reason the name coming from his lips made you blush and go warm, the way he called you it was almost as if he knew what effect he had on you.

You rolled your eyes at him playfully as you finished clearing up, you walked over to him. “Well actually, Munson, I don’t have any sordid plans tonight, why do you ask?” you chuckle at him, trying not to be distracted by those big brown eyes of his. They were your biggest weakness; he could commit any crime known to man but if he looked at you with his big brown doe eyes you would melt. Many a time you had to tell him playfully “You put those big brown eyes away mister” because you were annoyed at him and did not want him to worm his way out of a telling off.

Eddie had finished collecting up any figures and cards that were laid out on the table as he replied to you. “Well, I was just wondering if you wanted to come to mine for a drink. My uncle is away for work, so I have the trailer to myself?” He tried to seem smooth as he asked but his heart thumped wildly in his chest, he had never been this forward with you, but he wanted to try his chances with you, the moment he met you he was enthralled with you.

A soft blush crept upon your face as you responded, pretending to be interested in something else to hide it from him. “Sounds good to me chief.” You would love nothing more than to be alone with him in his trailer, you had spent time alone with him after each DnD session but being alone with him in his trailer was different, it was more intimate and was something that you had craved, you wanted a chance to be with him in an intimate setting, you were not sure what you would do but you wanted the chance nonetheless.

A smile erupted across Eddie’s face, you had actually agreed to spend time together, just you and him. His nervous sweaty palm ran through his hair trying to tame the wild curls somewhat. “I’ve got some good films we can watch whilst we have a drink, it’s completely your choice” his voice was slightly nervous as he spoke, he wanted to make sure you enjoyed your time with him. You chuckled and shook your head at him. “I was more than happy with the idea of free drinks, don’t give me the stress of choosing a movie to go with them”.

The final bits of the gathering were cleared away as Eddie chuckled, he spun his car keys in his hand and nodded his head towards the door. “C’mon then Princess, I’ve got a few beers with your name on them.” You rolled your eyes playfully at his smile, trying to hide how much it made you weak at the knees. You followed him outside and made yourself comfy in his truck, you had been in it many times, but this felt different, you felt there was a tension in the air between the both of you. The ride to his trailer was mostly uneventful, filled with pleasantries, asking how you both were and how he was doing with work and whatnot, he told you that he was adamant that he would graduate this year, 86 was going to be his year. It was not long until you pulled up outside of his trailer. The gentleman he was, Eddie made sure that he quickly walked around to open the car door for you, eliciting a playful eyeroll from you.

Eddie opened the door to his trailer, inviting you in. Giving you a playful bow before escorting you in, you had been in his trailer many times and he did that stupid bow every time. “So, you want a drink yeah?” Eddie called from the kitchen as you stood in the living room adjacent to it.

“Yeah sure thanks” You were not overly bothered about having a drink, but you just wanted an excuse to spend time alone with him. You both took a seat on the sofa an made yourself comfy, Eddie sat there, his legs wide apart and holding his beer bottle between his legs. You decide to test the waters and softly and drape your legs over his and lay down on the sofa, pretending to be nonchalant about it. Eddies eyes went wide as he felt your legs drape over his waist, his hand instinctively landed on your thigh. You were wearing criminally short shorts in Eddie’s mind; how could he resist touching you.

Eddie groaned internally as his hand rested on your bare thigh, he squeezed it softly causing a soft moan to emanate from your lips. You felt his rings dig into the flesh of your thighs and you could not help but moan against the feeling of the metal digging against your skin. The soft moan caused Eddie to grip your thigh even harder as he leant towards you with a smirk. “Are you okay, Darling?” His hand started to stroke further up your thigh and rested just beneath the hem of your shirt, his fingertips grazing the skin of your stomach, waiting for confirmation that you wanted more from him. You blushed at the fact you let the audible moan slip from your lips, it was hard to catch your breath knowing where his hands were on your body, desperately wanting them to explore further. Eddie leant towards you on the sofa, his hand ever so slight trailing up underneath your shirt, feeling his calloused palm against the soft skin of your waist.

“Cat got your tongue sweetheart?” He purred, that stupid smirk on his face caused your heart to flutter, but you would not be bested by him. You leant forward and left barely any room between his lips; he could feel your breath hot against his face. “I’m more than okay, Munson” You could sense that this was your opportunity, if you were ever going to get him then it was now, you held your composure despite your heart feeling like a jackhammer in your chest, trying not to look into those deep brown eyes that were now raking over you.

Your response and eagerness to lean closer to him was all the confirmation that Eddie needed, His free hand came swiftly to the back of your head and pulled you into him, your lips crashing together. You felt yourself moan into the kiss as his hand on your waist squeezed the delicate skin there, it felt like bliss as his hand gripped you and pulled you closer. You lost yourself in the kiss and moved closer to him, your aim to straddle yourself over his lap on the couch. An aim that Eddie did not stop you from achieving, he let out a throaty groan against your lips as he felt you move onto his lap, his hands devouring your body hungrily, he wanted to feel all of you. His lips released yours and found your neck, placing wet open-mouthed kisses along your neck and collar bone. You back arched towards him, wanting him to explore all of your body with his mouth and tongue. Your hands travelled up his arms until they reached the base of his neck, where you slowly tangled your hands into his soft curls and gripped softly, pulling yourself against him even more.

Eddie was in heaven, he had you on his lap and his mouth was exploring your body, he craved more though, he had wanted you from the day he first met you and this was not enough. His lips found your neck again and his voice vibrated against your skin. “Fuck…. I need you, Princess” His deep voice against your neck made you groan into him desperately, you needed him just as bad as he needed you. You gripped your hands tighter into his hair and kissed along his jawbone, your voice soft and breathy as you spoke. “Eddie…. please.” His eyes rolled back in his head at your breathy plea and gripped your thighs roughly. Eddie regained his composure slightly and positioned his hands under your thighs. He stood up from the sofa, lifting you with him and carried you towards his bedroom down the hall. You wrapped your legs around his waist and carried on kissing along his jaw and neck, now feeling his excitement thick against your thighs.

He dropped you roughly on his bed, resting on his forearms above you on the unkempt bed with pure lust in his eyes, he had wanted you for so long and now you were here in his bed, he would make sure that you enjoyed it and would want more from him. His plump lips found your neck again, his teeth grazing against your skin causing you to moan softly and grip his hair, spurring him on even further as he nipped his way down to your chest. You helped him swiftly remove your t shirt, laying bare chested before him. Eddie’s eyes laid on you half naked form, fuck you were beautiful to him, he needed just a moment to commit this vison to memory before his lips found your skin again. He kissed along your breasts, his teeth teasing you and nipping at your soft delicate skin. You felt him suck at your soft skin, leaving his marks upon your body, this aroused you even more, knowing that he was claiming you as his, knowing that he wanted nobody else to touch you.

The kisses along your breast and stomach were sloppy and desperate, until he reached the waistband of your shorts, you looked down and could see his beautiful eyes, asking for permission to remove them, a soft nod from you was all it took, and he quickly took them off and threw them on the floor. His teeth now grazed against your inner thigh, and you moaned desperately, he was teasing you and he knew it.

“So needy Princess, good girls wait patiently” You felt his smirk against your thigh as his tongue roamed your skin, wanting to taste every inch of you. Your hips bucked towards him involuntarily, you wanted him to relieve you of the heat that was swimming in your lower stomach, you were desperate for his touch. Finally you felt his lips upon you, you were already soaking wet for him, a fact that made him chuckle against you as you felt his tongue against your clit, moving in slow languid circles to torture you further Your soft moans were like music to his ears, whilst his hands roamed your skin, his big calloused hands finding your breasts, squeezing them causing your back to arch further into his touch.

“Eddie….” You moaned softly as he continued to tease you, you wanted to feel him and let him relieve you of the pressure building inside of you. He smiled and left one final kiss against you, lifting his head from your thighs, you could see your juices dripping from his face and thought he had never looked sexier. In one quick move he removed his t shirt and leant his body against yours, revelling in the feeling of your breasts against his bare chest now. His lips found yours again, kissing you passionately as he tried desperately to undo his jeans. You could feel his thick length against your thigh through the denim of his jeans so when you felt him bare against you, you moaned desperately. You had imagined what Eddie would feel like many a night, you craved it desperately, even pleasuring yourself over the thought, something Eddie did over the thought of you as well. Eddie steeled himself and took a deep breath, he had wanted this for so long and he would savour the moment, he held his cock in his hand and swiped it against your wet folds, chuckling to himself at your desperate moans. He loved seeing you so desperate and needy beneath him, knowing that he was the one causing you to come undone like this. He slowly pressed his throbbing tip into you, feeling you stretch around his girth, squeezing his eyes closed as he felt how good you were around him.

A deep breathy moan escaped your lips as you felt him inside of you, you had been with other people before but you were not used to this size, it was almost sinful how good he was making you feel just from pressing slowly inside of you. “Fuck…..” Eddie whispered as he felt himself stretch your cunt, you felt so good already and he wasn’t sure he would last too long at this rate. He started to thrust a slow and steady pace, one that felt torturous to you, your hips bucked against him as you wanted to feel him thick and fast against you. “Baby…. Please I can’t” He whispered against your neck, he wanted to, so badly he wanted to fulfil your desire and drill into you.

“Eddie… I’m so close… please” your voice desperate for him now, your nails digging into the skin on his back, he looked at you, your eyes almost in tears because you were so desperate for him now. His hands gripped on your hips, pulling you even closer to him, as he buried his face in the crook of your neck, he wanted to be close and hear your moans for him. He pounded into you roughly and after a few thrusts he felt your walls clench around him tightly, your moans were like heaven to him, he told himself that he would commit that sound to memory. One more thrust and he was spent, he felt himself tremble inside of you as he collapsed on top of your body, leaving soft wet kisses on your neck.

You were both laid together, sweaty and gasping, feeling the afterglow of your orgasm. Your hand softly stroked Eddie’s hair behind his ear, loving how the fringe of his hair was slick against the sweat of his forehead. You looked deep into his deep brown eyes and smiled, you both felt happy and at peace in each other’s arms.

Eddie finally rolled off the top of you, laying beside you he pulled you into his arms, stroking the soft skin of your back affectionately. You both laid there silently for a while enjoying each other’s embrace until Eddie spoke up, hooking a finger under you chin pulling your face up to look at him. “So, is this going to be a regular after session thing or not?” You rolled your eyes playfully at his smirk, answering him with a deep kiss. You knew this would be more than an after-session activity.

[rottenaero]

Ao3

Part 1

Part 3

Part two to the roommates idea

Whenever the mall ‘burns down’, Eddie is just chilling at home; not doing anything special.

Actually, thats a complete lie. He hadn't seen Steve since he left for his shift the day before, and currently has his band+Wayne scattered in the living room as he paces.

“He may as well be dead, he always calls before staying the night somewhere, and he totally despises that place, so why would he stay after hours?” He comes to a halt infront of Jeff who looks considering. “What?!"

“Maybe, consider, he just forgot to call you." Eddie scoffed, “ ‘Maybe he just forgot’, except you don't know him, Jeff. Steve doesn't forget, tell ‘em Wayne."

Wayne nods from his spot on the lazyboy, “ ‘S true, he'd rather call at 2am than have us worrying.”

Gareth rolls his eyes, “Look Edmund, I get your worried about you boyfriend and all but why did we have to get dragged into this?" He complained, and Eddie began pacing again.

“ Not,my boyfriend, yet, and you’re getting-”

A ringing interrupts him.

The pacing stopped almost as soon as it began, and he darts to the phone. “ Y’hello, it's Eddie talking.” A sharp breath drew from the other end of the line.

“Hey Eds."

Eddie smiled, “Holy shit, Stevie. I thought you died. Wayne and the guys are literally gathered in the living room.” Upon hearing the name, Wayne visibly relaxed, going from hunched over to leaning backwards in seconds.

“Yeah I'm- Well shit not okay but I'm not dead.”In the background there was a noise, barely noticeable but-

“Wait, what? Are those sirens? Are you hurt? What the hell-” Wayne leaned forward again.

“I'm at the mall, there's been, uh, an accident? I don't- they took my keys, I need a ride back home.”

“Who took your keys? Steve you can't just be all ominous and-” The phone line shut off. "Fuck!”

Grant, who hasn't been helpful at all, stood up. "What did he do?”

Eddie groans, running a hand through his greasy hair, “Needs us to pick him up, might be hurt. He's such a- Wayne we're taking my van, you guys coming?”

Turns out the answer is yes.

-

They arrive at the mall five minutes later, mostly because Eddie was driving like a bat outta hell, to every emergency vehicle you can think of, plus thirty more, surrounding the place.

Eddie roles his window down when a cop signals him. “What are you doing over here?"

The metalhead bites his lip, what the hell, “Uh, I'm here to pick up Steve Harrington? He got involved in whatever's happening.”

The cops nods, "Alright, park your vehicle over there, and go get him.”

He does as he's told, a surprising feat showing just how scared he was, because Steve being hurt could mean so many things.

They get out the car, Wayne being the leading man, and head to where the commotion is.

The mall was totally destroyed, a couple kids he didn't know were sitting around, surrounded by their parents, there's a couple teens too, Nancy Wheeler, Johnny Byers, a girl in a sailor costume, and-

Eddie’s heart stopped and he fucking sped forward. “ Holy shit, what the fuck man." Steve looked like hell, understatement of the century but-

His face was bruised and bloody, his hands wrapped in casts, his hair was flat and gross and he was still in his damn sailor costume.

“Hey Munsons, Gareth, Jeff, Grant. It's the whole Scooby gang, or Smurfs, whoever you prefer.” Eddie grabbed his shoulders, and stared him dead in the eye. “ What. The. Fuck. Are you high too?!”

“Just what the hell did you get yourself into. " Wayne said more than asked, shaking his head.

Steve buzzed his lips, his eyebrows furrowed and he brought a hand to them and-

God they were split, and bleeding now. He looked back up at the long haired man infront of him, ignoring Wayne's question-not-question.

“Nah, just recovering from being drugged. Hey this is rivveting conversation and shit, but like, I wanna go home and sleep in your bed, man. Or the couch, or the floor.”

He let out a loud laugh, “Fuck I am not picky right now, I'll even take the back of the van.”

“Christ."

-

They don't talk about it, not after Hellfire goes home, not the next morning, not after Steve heals. They just don't, because the news told them all they need to know, that there was a fire. Eddie just assumed when they said he was drugged, that he meant medically.

(He didn't)

[hunn1e-bunn1e]

Hello~ Hello~

I saw your Nu: Carnival - Bliss masterlist and I couldn't help but want to send you a request for it. May I have Eiden find another clan member (male reader), an ancient gem dragon alive long before Huey was? He doesn't like humans and prefers to stay up in his mountain cave and when he talks about Huey he calls him ""that foolish bastard"". I don't think the male reader would be a tsundere, but a lonely person with a lot of pain and loneliness from the past; so, a much more mature Edmond. This post doesn't have to have smut or be suggestive if you want it to be.

🍁Maple Anon

Eiden (+ Aster, Morvay, Quincy & Kuya) - Cold  Gem Dragon Male Reader 

🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.

Hey 🍁Maple Anon, I don't know how, but this turned into a lesson in dragon anatomy around the halfway point and is probably not what you wanted, but I added extra bullet points as well as a few more characters to remedy that! The lyrics quoted in this one are from the song “Gold” by Jeff Williams. —Benny🐰

Warnings –> Dragon Dong Anatomy, Eiden, Kuya & Morvay Are Warnings In Themselves, Sexual Situations, [Name] Is Lowkey Prejudiced Against Humanity, Eiden is Horny as Usual, Quincy is Now a Unit of Measurement, Benny forgot how headcanons work

                                                                                                   

💎•♡•💎•♡•💎•♡•💎•♡•💎•♡•💎•♡•💎•♡•💎

❝𝕯𝖔𝖓'𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖗𝖞 𝖆𝖇𝖔𝖚𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖉𝖆𝖗𝖐; 𝕴 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖑𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙 𝖚𝖕 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖓𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊 𝖎𝖓 𝖒𝖞 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙-- 𝕴 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖇𝖚𝖗𝖓 𝖑𝖎𝖐𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖚𝖓; 𝕴 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖐𝖊𝖊𝖕 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖘𝖆𝖋𝖊 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖒~❞

. . .

First, lets do some exposition!

𖢻  I imagine that [Name] was a part of the original clan members of Huey's; except the dragon wasn't exactly an official member per se. Maybe Huey wanted him to join, but he's literally an ancient dragon, and if said ancient dragon says ‘no’, it's best to just leave it at that. Also, with the mention of [Name] being a gem dragon; it made me think of a scenario where Huey actually got his neon gemstone from [Name]. Maybe Huey wanted to test his strength against a legendary dragon and ended up only being able to knock loose a tiny sliver of the reptile's gem claw.

𖢻  I would think that Huey pulling up to [Name]’s humble mountain cave and trying to run the hands with him would probably add to the dislike of humans too. But, most likely, after the ‘fight', Huey would get tired and rest outside of the cave for a few days, conversing with [Name], and the dragon began to get used to his presence. Huey would probably flaunt his ‘victory’ in the form of making a necklace of the sliver of [Name]’s claw, which would annoy the ancient reptile, but the dragon would teach his newfound companion how to harness the gem's essence. But eventually… Huey's visits to his mountain cave would abruptly stop.

Now, onto the present, when Eiden arrives!

𖢻  Eiden probably met [Name] after everyone else, since the dragon isn't an official clan member. It'd probably be on their way back to Aster's mansion that someone, likely Morvay, would ask the vampire how [Name] had been. To which Eiden would then ask them who that was since he hadn't heard of anyone by that name during the entirety of his stay in Klein. This, the group, consisting of  Eiden, Aster, Morvay, Quincy, and Kuya –since the rest declined to go with in favor of heading back to rest after a long journey– took a detour and scaled up the great mountain of Chalcedony (I couldn't think of anything else) to visit the dragon.

𖢻  Eiden's first meeting with [Name] wouldn't be all that positive, with the dragon both disliking humans and having grown some resentment toward Huey. However, with Eiden being himself, he'd probably just catch on that the dragon was lonely and was pushing people away to protect himself, so Eiden convinced the others to allow him to stay in the dragon's care for a little while to soften the reptile's walls.

𖢻  The relationship between both of them from that point on can be described as a confused and exasperated husband with his headstrong and prideful wife who's a bit mean. [Name] taught Eiden to harness and control the essence in the neon gemstone (which is probably just tourmaline, if I'm being honest); the poor guy got a good handful of glares and head smacks whenever he fooled around too much. [Name] probably calls Eiden a fool or ‘young human’ most times, only rarely calling him by his actual name, as he saves that for more intimate situations.

Speaking of intimate situations...

𖢻  Let's get into [Name]’s assets~ The ancient dragon has two very large horns that curved behind his head in almost a horizontal ‘S’ shape. They are made of the same glowing rainbow gemstone as the one hanging from Eiden's neck and make for a very good stabilizer if you reach out and grab them like handles. While they aren't an erogenous zone, if you tug on them, they do hurt a bit and I imagine that [Name] is probably a masochist. Going a bit farther down we have his thick tail and two dicks– yes, that's right, we're following that trope on this one. [Name]'s tail is quite long and incredibly strong as well. It can support several heavy objects and 15 Quincys, even more than that if he's in his true form.

𖢻  Onto the pp! [Name]’s members both rest inside of a somewhat small internal sleeve when they're not at full mast. The inside of the sleeve is incredibly sensitive, with the walls being made of thin and smooth, spongy flesh, with an organ located near the back that secretes a sticky, lubricating slick that makes it easier for both members to slide in and out. The sleeve's entrance– or rather, the exit, is a simple vertical slit situated just a few inches above where a human man's schlong would be. When flaccid, [Name]’s dicks are about 2-3 inches long with a circumference of 1 inch, allowing them to rest in the sleeve without issue. But when aroused they grow to about 9-10 inches long with a circumference of 4.5 inches. They have a thin and tapered tip and various bumps and ridges along the underside and are a nice reddish pink in color.

Anyway–! Let's get back on track!

𖢻  Eiden, of course, finds [Name] super hot, but also incredibly intimidating; considering the dragon tried to kill him when he first noticed the gemstone hanging from the brunette's neck. But, after a week of spending time together in [Name]’s cave, Eiden managed to soften the ancient reptile up. Now, the world hopper sets aside a day every week to visit his favorite handsome dragon; letting the horned man train him to be stronger so that he doesn't have to rely so heavily on everyone else. That's not to say that the two don't spend time together doing other things as well though. Oftentimes, Eiden will pester [Name] about giving him a ride on his back because ‘he's never ridden a dragon before’; the audacity.

𖢻  Though… that request for 'a ride’ usually devolves into a steamy session of the sexy dragon hopping up and down on his favorite human's dick. He won't let poor Eiden cum for hours on end; stopping whenever the man gets close to punish him for his insolence. Rest in peace to Eiden's pp. We'll be holding a candlelight vigil later today in its honor.

𖢻  Aster, bless his greedy heart, always tries to convince [Name] to come to his mansion and stay for a while. The vampire both wants to brag to other nobles that he knows the great tyrant of the mountain and also just wants an old friend to visit his home and stay for a bit so that they can catch up. The two had been ‘apart’ for some time –despite Aster hypnotizing a few people to send [Name] letters every month– and the little vampire had missed him dearly. He also just wanted his favorite mannequin to come back…

𖢻  Morvay and [Name] have a strange relationship. Oftentimes, when the incubus had grown to find his regular meals less filling, he would pay a visit to his favorite dragon for a full-course meal that'd last him a whole week! However, when the insatiable familiar has had his fill, the two just cuddle and talk about how they have been since they saw each other last. Morvay fills the ancient beast in on all the details his empty little head can remember, and [Name] says the same thing as he usually did: ‘It was uneventful’. It's a nice little routine the two have and they prefer it that way.

𖢻  Quincy is surprisingly not despised by [Name] despite his status as a human. The two have only interacted twice in the past; the first being when Huey brought him by the horned man's cave after weeks of begging and the second being when [Name] made the spontaneous decision to leave his cave and take a walk around the forest for a while. Both meetings weren't too bad; the two men really just stared at each other in silence the entire time; not being bothered to talk at all. [Name] finds the tall blonde to be a comforting presence– Topper's cuteness helps as well.

𖢻  Kuya… is himself. He and the old man in the mountain had actually never met before Eiden brought him and the others with him to meet [Name]. However, the sly fox was incredibly intrigued by the dragon and paid several visits to the cave after the initial one. Kuya loves reclining against a boulder and listening as the other recounts memories of a time that the yokai hadn't even been alive for. It was quite relaxing and even more interesting than those illusion cards that the young master had tricked him with.

. . .

❝𝕷𝖎𝖐𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖒𝖊𝖑𝖑 𝖔𝖋 𝖆 𝖗𝖔𝖘𝖊 𝖔𝖓 𝖆 𝖘𝖚𝖒𝖒𝖊𝖗'𝖘 𝖉𝖆𝖞; 𝕴 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖇𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖊 𝖙𝖔 𝖙𝖆𝖐𝖊 𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖋𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖘 𝖆𝖜𝖆𝖞-- 𝖂𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖙𝖔𝖚𝖈𝖍 𝖔𝖋 𝖒𝖞 𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝕴 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖓 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖑𝖎𝖋𝖊 𝖙𝖔 𝖌𝖔𝖑𝖉~❞

💎•♡•💎•♡•💎•♡•💎•♡•💎•♡•💎•♡•💎•♡•💎

🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.

Reblogs are appreciated ~ 𔓘

Wanna see similar content? Check out my Masterlist!

[jo-harrington]

Become What You Were Meant To Be (Eddie Munson)

Word Count: 2.4k

Themes/Warnings: Modern!Eddie, Older!Eddie, set in the mid-2010s, fandom lingo, nerd lingo, Star Wars, typical childhood bullying, angst, minor FOI reference, some canon divergence, coming of age themes, probably poorly written and not edited at all

Note: Happy Birthday to one of the backbones of this fandom, who supports and encourages so many of us, whose endless friendship I am so grateful for. Someone who has absolute endless creativity but doesn't give herself enough credit and grace, who is secretly sitting in the background pulling the strings on some of the best stories I've read and I've written. My muse, my life, my world, my cheeseburger. @fracturedarkness

Thanks to @dr-aculaaa for the beta.

You can find my masterlist here.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Enjoy!

---

Eddie Munson was a nerd.

Point blank, end of story.

It was one of those badges he wore along with Freak and loser and...well, you get the gist of it. But it was a badge worn with pride. He owned his identity. Wasn't afraid to show everyone he came across who he was.

It hadn't always been that way.

There used to be a time when it felt like the worst thing in the world to be a nerd like that. The kids bullied him because he got overly excited talking about his favorite characters and favorite books that they found boring. They all teased him when he wrote stories about exciting heroes from fantastical worlds in English class, even though the teacher told him that his stories were ambitious and imaginative. And when he spent lunch doodling in his notebook instead of playing kickball or foursquare? Well, you get the point.

"You're so weird." They mocked him. "You're a freak. Draw normal things. Like normal things. Why can't you just be normal?"

It was cruel, in the way that children naively become perpetrators of cruelness. And it made Eddie sad.

Because what did that mean? He couldn't draw normal things, or like normal things, or do normal things. Then he wouldn't be himself anymore.

And that was the point where he decided normal was overrated. Why would he want to be normal when he could be...anything else.

He could pretend he was one of the Pevensies upon a throne at Cair Paravel. Or one of the Ghostbusters. Or a Jedi...

Of course, he couldn't actually be anything else; he was stuck being boring, old, nerdy Eddie Munson.

It wasn't until middle school--you know, middle school, when everyone decides to embrace who they are and become an individual--that he decided being Eddie Munson wasn't all that bad after all.

This epiphany definitely didn't happen after a Hot Topic opened up at StarCourt Mall. No sir. Not when one of the older kids that worked there, sporting armfuls of tattoos and a lip ring, told him the pen drawings on the toe caps of his sneakers were cool. Of course not. And not after he used the last bit of his birthday money to buy a cool band t-shirt and colored hair gel. Pssshhh...

So on the first day of 8th grade, he showed up rocking his dad's old leather jacket--the one that practically swallowed him--jeans that he ripped himself and a poor excuse for a mohawk, ready to accept the Freak label proudly.

He also accepted detention for breaking the dress code.

And a grounding from Wayne for cutting up a nice pair of jeans.

And a buzzcut because he'd done that poor of a job of cutting his hair for that mohawk.

But he'd gained a friend.

Several friends actually.

Ronnie Ecker and Doug Teague. They were both in the same grade as him, and shared many classes. And it might have been a little embarrassing, but a sixth grader named Jeff who told Eddie that he was his hero. That made Eddie feel like he was on top of the world!

They were friends that stayed with him all through high school, and when he repeated his senior year twice, even more joined the mix along the way.

Band kids and science fair nerds and...and...and...

He called them his sheepies, and he their shepherd clad in black band tees and ripped jeans.

And Eddie?

Eddie just got nerdier.

Got weirder.

Dug himself deeper into the pit of stark individualism that the close-minded town of Hawkins didn't know how to react to.

It was glorious.

He listened to music that made other kids cringe and turn away and neighbors complain about the noise; he liked it so much that he made his friends start a band with him. They played at every single school talent show until they graduated; they never won and sometimes people tried to plug their ears, but to Eddie and his friend, their sound and that stage was exactly what their hearts yearned for. To them, the auditorium might as well have been Madison Square Garden.

He started playing Dungeons and Dragons--started a club of his own design, Hellfire--when he found the guidebooks on a dusty shelf at the library. They were seemingly untouched since their initial publication in the 70s, but they were like a key that unlocked something inside of Eddie. Something that he seemed to have forgotten along the way of reclaiming the name "Freak."

Through DnD, the imaginary worlds that he left behind early in his adolescence opened their doors to him once again.

And his friends, his players, never made fun of him for knowing the ins and outs of the worlds of their fantasies. Worlds like Greyhawk and Faerûn.

Worlds like a certain galaxy far...far away...

---

Eddie's re-entrance into the world of Star Wars had been...an interesting one to say the least.

To Eddie, Star Wars meant the original trilogy. Cut, print, sign the check.

When he thought of Jedi, he thought of Luke Skywalker and Alec Guinness as Obi-Wan and a puppet Yoda. And of course he thought of the dreaded Darth Vader.

Yeah he had his books from the library, a whole extended universe with Mara Jade and Jacen and Jaina. But he'd missed out on the prequels growing up; from being a little too young to see them in theaters, to the whole fiasco of his mother's passing right before Revenge of the Sith had premiered.

As he got older, the need to see them just wasn't there, and hearing from friends and enemies alike that it wasn't anything to write home about was the nail in the coffin.

Until he met one Dustin Henderson.

It was the Jar Jar Binks t-shirt he wore on the first day of his freshman year that got Eddie's attention.

"What is that?" he flicked a finger against the graphic as he ran into Dustin and his friends in the lunch line. "Something from that new Star Trek movie?"

Cue a whole rant about the Gungans and the Separatists and an inter-galactic conflict that made Eddie happily fold Dustin and his band of nerds into the protection of the Hellfire Club.

Eddie still refused to watch the prequels, no matter how much Dustin begged.

"I like it when you guys talk about them," Eddie shrugged off the pleas. "Even better when you guys act out the whole fight between Anakin and Obi-Wan. I'd sell my left nut to relive seeing you and Lucas do that in Wheelers basement; it was the best day of my life Henderson, I swear to god. There's no way the movies could actually beat that."

He hasn’t expected that those little idiots would trick him into a movie marathon for Lucas's birthday.

Even Gareth was in on the whole plan. Traitor.

But it was the beginning of the end.

From the movies to the books to the cartoons, Eddie's love of Star Wars was rekindled. He even spent a short stint as a gamer playing The Old Republic on the old PC that was tucked into the corner of the trailer.

And when a new movie was announced, Eddie happily took his nerd-dom to the next level.

Yes, he was the one to suggest they all dress up for the midnight showing of The Force Awakens, but if anyone asked it was Mike.

He spent hours on a stupid Boba Fett costume. It was a different set of skills to the mini-figures he was used to crafting for DnD. He had to think on a different scale. Hot glue and spray paint and too much cardboard. Only to find real cosplayers used foam, not cardboard. His paychecks from Thatcher Tires went straight to the project, until he had something halfway decent for the premiere.

"What?" he laughed along with his friends when they joked about the hot glue spiderwebs that he'd been too lazy to clean up. "It's not like I'll have to do this again; we're not dressing up next time."

Or so he thought...

There was something so magical about sitting in a movie theater, in the middle of December, at midnight, surrounded by other people who decided to dress up for the occasion, and a few dozen plastic lightsabers all lit up.

To listen to the theme, to read the crawl on a big screen, to see the camera pan down into the vastness of stars...

This was what it was to be a nerd.

There was something extra special about finding a new favorite character. Something that touched something deep down inside of you when you saw something of yourself in them.

And Eddie had always been drawn to the villains. Whether in the media he consumed or the characters he created for DnD. He knew why; he wasn't totally oblivious. To be the hero of his own story, he often had to become a villain to someone else.

Besides, villains always had a little bit more fun.

So when Kylo Ren first made his way on screen, Eddie knew that he was done for.

The mask, the lightsaber, the Dark Side of the Force, the anger...how many times had he almost given in to the anger he felt at being mocked and teased. He'd overcome that time and again; what if he'd just given in?

There was also something about being Al Munson Han Solo's son.

Yeah. He could understand the anger there.

But then he was also Elizabeth Leia's son...the conflict.

It took Eddie a few days to get over the initial flurry of thoughts after seeing Force Awakens for the first time. That was when he realized he needed to see it again. And again. A matinee showing on Christmas Eve with Wayne, who he also treated to lunch. The last showing on a Thursday in January. Another outing with the guys, refusing to admit that he'd already seen it a few times between opening night and then.

Thankfully, this time, Mike was the mastermind behind their plans for the next movie as they waited for the previews to finish.

"So," Mike sat up straight. "I think I wanna get an early dibs on dressing up like Poe when Episode 8 comes out."

"I think I wanna try my hand at making an Admiral Ackbar costume," Dustin said with utter confidence, and then turned to Eddie. "What about you?"

It caught Eddie off-guard for a second; should he just say Kylo? Did they expect him to want to dress up as anyone else? Maybe they thought that he would want to be Poe, leader of their misfit group as he was.

"Eddie's obviously Kylo," Jeff piped up. Eddie's head immediately turned to him. "What? Don't think we didn't watch you drool over that lightsaber last time."

"And his ship?" Gareth cackled one seat over. "Fuck the Falcon. I swear, if you could turn the van into something that looked like that ship..."

"Oh my god, you're right!" Lucas cackled.

"Hey I think I could figure out a pretty convincing Snoke," Eddie argued, trying to deflect their teasing, but secretly pleased that he'd gotten exactly what he wanted.

And that his friends knew him so well.

---

For two years, Eddie worked on his costume.

Two. Years.

He was practically a different person by the time of the Last Jedi's opening night.

And yeah his motivation faltered, but he never quit.

It was strange, the need to perfect the costume. He’d almost given up many times. When there was a certain skill he wasn't good at or when he'd felt like it would never be finished. Every time, he felt like that silly kid who everyone just told to be normal. To like normal things.

He was growing up. He was a grown up! Shouldn’t he be passed all of this…silliness? Everyone else in the world seemed to think so, as they put away all the frivolities of childhood. Were they working round the clock and pricking their fingers on needles and burning themselves with hot glue?

Probably not.

Eddie found himself still stuck there, watching a world lose its joy and think that it was normal, and he always wondered if he should try to be normal too. For once in his life. The first time in his life.

But every time he thought about letting it all go, about putting his dream aside...something would come and drive him to keep going.

New promotional images, a new trailer. Especially the ones focused on Kylo himself.

"Let the past die," Kylo Ren grumbled in the voice over. "Kill it if you have to."

That became Eddie's driving force.

He owed it to himself to finish. He owed it to his younger self...not to let his dream die...to keep being weird and nerdy and happy.

"Let the past die," Eddie told himself as he stitched the hem of the tunic the week before opening night.

"Kill it if you have to," he said as he distressed the plastic helmet that he'd ordered, giving it the right amount of realism so it didn't just look like something so fake and commercial.

"Let the past die," his child self muttered, front teeth missing from the day Johnny B pushed him over on the playground because he was playing superheroes wrong. Eddie put a hand on his head and then stepped into his boots.

"Kill it if you have to," his preteen self urged him, self-assured, mohawk looking stupider than he realized way back when. Eddie flicked his ear good-naturedly before adjusting the cape on his shoulders.

There he stood--Eddie Munson, the young man, the freak, the nerd--in his bedroom before the mirror. He was adorned in pieces of foam and layers of fabric from the craft store, helmet tucked under his arm.

But in the mirror itself? There was Kylo Ren...there he was as Kylo Ren. In the hallway of a Star Destroyer, layered in armor and the shadows of the Dark Side itself, like he was ready for a battle with the Resistance.

Ready for the battle within himself.

But there was no battle, and the armor was actually Eddie's skin. This was his real self, his true self. All of his work came to fruition, all of the time and effort that he put into the craft. Not just two years working on a costume, but an entire lifetime poured into becoming an Eddie Munson who proudly wore the title nerd and freak and loser.

The destroyer melted away, and he was back in his bedroom once again. Surrounded by posters and books and drawings, by all of his crafts and his guitars and his endless clutter.

He smiled at himself, feeling lighter than he had in a long time.

Eddie Munson was a nerd, and as he lit the lightsaber and he was washed in a glow of crackling red light, he knew that this was who he was always meant to be.

[blood-and-pizza]

Notable Details from the original "Into The Pit" story (PART 1)

Upon the mill's closure, Oswald's dad works part-time at the deli counter in a store called the Snack Space (a 7-11 equivalent, basically), which requires a red vest as their uniform. Oswald is embarrassed by the fact his dad is wearing the vest as he drops him off at school. Just a neat bit of world-building.

Oswald has a best friend named Ben who moved into the next town over.

Oswald's bullies, including Dylan Cooper, call him "Oswald the Ocelot" after a cartoon character they saw as pre-schoolers, a big pink ocelot named Oswald. Again, more world-building.

Oswald is described as having freckles and a cowlick in the original story.

Oswald has no modern electronics in his home, save for one laptop he shares with his family. His phone is an outdated model he's embarrassed by.

Oswald's teacher, Mrs. Meecham, puts on a movie for her class on the last day of school, which is described as "about a farm with talking animals", "too babyish for a roomful of fifth graders". I'm guessing they might have been watching the animated adaptation of Charlotte's Web... or it could be wishful thinking on my part, since I love that movie.

Oswald has been drawing mechanical animals ("bears, bunnies, and birds") for reasons even he doesn't know, other than lack of anything better to do when he's bored.

Oswald's mom works at the hospital from 12PM to 12AM... yikes.

Oswald's dad can't cook to save his life. If it can't be boiled in water or heated in a microwave, he has to buy his meals... how relatable.

Blue-box macaroni and cheese exists in FNAF, meaning Kraft and its products likely exist, too. Just thought that was funny for some reason.

Oswald's dad squirts ketchup into his mac and cheese. I just think knowing he's the kind of dad who does that is really funny... kinda reminds me of my stepdad's love of ketchup, to be honest.

Other pizzerias that once existed in Oswald's town were Gino's Pizza and Marco's Pizza, both of which closed not long after the mill closed. Both Gino's and Marco's are described as good restaurants, while the food at Jeff's Pizza is described as "decent".

Oswald is into B-grade Japanese horror films, including kaiju movies like Zendrelix vs. Mechazendrelix. Zendrelix is apparently FNAF's answer to Godzilla, making Mechazendrelix an equivalent to Mechagodzilla. They're described like this: "... Zendrelix just looked like a giant dragon thing, but Mechazendrelix reminded him [Oswald] of the mechanical animals he drew when he stripped them of their fur." Zendrelix is also described as being portrayed by "a guy in a rubber suit", solidifying the connection between him and Godzilla.

Oswald and his dad both really love bacon. I just thought that was cute.

When Oswald visits the library, a place he finds "actually kinda fun", he shows interest in a science fiction book from a series, as well as a manga he liked. Based, IMHO.

The library Oswald visits frequently allows homeless people to use their computers and other resources. WE NEED LIBRARIES AND THIS IS EXACTLY ONE REASON WHY!

Oswald's mom, being a nurse, is a bit of a germaphobe and won't let Oswald play in places she considers dirty. A ball pit would be considered one such place.

The pizza Jeff serves comes in huge slices too big for the paper plates they're served on, and very greasy. As someone who was born in NYC and used to eat greasy New York pizza... I think I would have liked eating at Jeff's. Maybe.

Oswald reads a library book while visiting Jeff's Pizza, about "a world where kids with secret powers went to a special school to learn how to fight evil". I wonder how many books that describes...

Oswald plays an online fantasy game at the library that's free to play, but Oswald gets to a point where he can't progress without money. I wonder what game it could have been...

Oswald's dad and mom used to date in high school, often frequenting a roller rink, and are great skaters as a result. Oswald himself can't skate and needs his parents to hold him up.

Oswald's dad only ever buys vanilla ice cream.

There's a video rental service Oswald's family uses called Red Box, but I don't know if it's meant to be the same as the actual existing Redbox. Maybe it is?

Oswald's mom is very good at playing Clue... oh, and Clue exists in the FNAF universe.

Oswald's dad prefers practical effects over CGI in movies. Oswald is the exact opposite.

Oswald's dad is a fan of country music. Oswald... is not.

[piratefishmama]

Fake It 'till You Make It | Part 1

The phone was ringing. It was eight in the morning, on a Sunday, and the phone was ringing. Eddie rolled over, pushing his face into his pillow in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, he’d suffocate in the sweet embrace of his misshapen, well-loved pillow before whoever dared to call at such an ungodly hour, decided to give up.

No dice. However his uncle did seem to be answering it for him, bless that man, bless each and every one of his gray hairs.

“Eddie, up an at em, son! S’fer you!” Damn him. Damn him and all his gray hairs.

“Nggghhhh!!!!” Was his very coherent response

“It’s one of those kids’a yours!” Kids? He had kids? Oh shit he had kids, right. kids who should know better than to call at EIGHT. AM. AM. THE MORNING.

ON A SUNDAY.

Just inconsiderate really. He’d spent the majority of the previous night convincing the Gillespie’s that maybe their daughter didn’t actually need to get onto the endless carousel that was the dating scene.

Convincing them that maybe the dating pool was so batshit insane that it was for the best that she remain perfectly single for a little while longer. That maybe being single wasn’t nearly as bad as being with whatever the fuck Eddie Munson was.

Eddie had spent the entire evening referring to her father by his first name as it visibly pissed him off, called his daughter ‘sweet cheeks’ and slapped her ass as she left the room one too many times (any time more than zero times was too many times), offered her mother a joint to chill the fuck out, talked about his band incessantly, he’d gone all out on the ‘disrespectful sack of shit’ angle until he’d been forbidden to date their daughter.

Then listened with glee outside the door while they declared she was forbidden from dating for as long as it took to shake her from her ‘bad boy’ phase. A job well done, she’d slipped him the fifty bucks she owed for the night through the back window, and he was on his way. Fifty bucks better off!

Megan wasn’t having a bad boy phase. Megan was a lesbian waiting for the perfect opportunity to get the fuck out of Hawkins. She just… couldn’t handle her parents constantly asking about her dating life. Or her lack of a dating life.

She was beautiful, the picture of stereotypical femininity, they had no idea why their daughter wasn’t snagging one of the rich Loch Nora guys like a Harrington, or a Johnson, or even one of the B grade rich guys like Hagan, or Peters.

She was too busy with a Holloway.

Then the following hours before he’d eventually passed out, he’d been slowly working through memorizing the chorus tabs of an Iron Maiden song he’d been meaning to learn for one of the covers used to bulk up Corroded Coffin’s sets. Jeff already had his parts down, Eddie had been lagging.

“M’not here!”

“Says it’s important!”

“Tell em I’m dead!”

There was a pause, and then his bedroom door was opening, and a cushion was thrown at his head, forcing him upright to shout his indignation to the world while his uncle stood there stern and unimpressed “Boy get your backside up an talk to y’damn friends.”

“Nghhh, fine.” He was up anyway. The phone ringing had woken him up. It’d take a miracle to fall back into a full snooze now. He shoved his blankets aside, trudged past his uncle, and snagged the phone from where Wayne had left it on the little table by the window. “Whomever this may be, I’m nuking your stats next session for the unholy crime of waking me up before noon.”

“But I’m calling about a job”

“Ahh, Henderson. Might as well just tear up the sheet for that little gnome now, kid.”

“He’s a dwarf and— ngh whatever, I needed to roll a new character anyway. Listen! I have a job for you, if you want it, one of your weird little rent a guy gigs” not something he was proud to have let slip around the kids. It could get weird if they made assumptions!

But if it got him an extra buck or two without having to do much other than be an over the top version of himself, then what was the harm? It wasn’t like he was selling his body or anything, just his funhouse personality.

“…Go on.”

“Okay so… don’t freak out, but… it’s a guy. He’s cool though!! Like, really cool, super chill, no danger to you what so ever.” That was fine, his ‘dates’ were usually fake but that didn’t erase the very real danger of being perceived by two of an older less cool generation that talked. “He knows it’s all fake so it’s just acting—"

“And this guy’s parents? How cool are they?” It wasn’t just faking a date, it was faking it in front of parents. Parents who usually weren’t about to approve of him when it was a heterosexual relationship. A Homosexual one? He really didn’t want to have to go through the real risks of hate crimes with a teenager, but Dustin clearly wasn’t getting the danger aspect there.

“I don’t know, I don’t really know them, but he says he can explain everything if you give him a chance, he’s free today, he even said he’d buy you breakfast if you meet him early!”

“…And he knows I’m a him, not a her, right?”

“Yeah, I said he was cool! The gay thing isn’t a big deal to him.”

“I’m not—” it was instinctual, Dustin didn’t know what he was, maybe he’d heard rumours, but he didn’t outright know that his dungeon master was a queer. Probably for the best, as lovely as Claudia Henderson was, she was very susceptible to accepting the crowdsourced opinion on things. She didn’t have her sons need to question everything.

She’d probably pull him from every Hellfire meet ever if Dustin let it slip that the guy in charge was queer.

“I know you’re not, but it’s fake right? it’s not like you guys have to do anything other than claim to be dating, right?” True… he never actually did anything with his ‘dates’. Usually just telling the parents they were dating was enough of a shock to the system to hide the lack of proof. The most he’d ever done was slap an ass here and there, maybe wrap an arm around a waist or two.

That was enough for the ‘traditional’ close minded Parents of Hawkins.

“…Fine, I’ll hear the guy out, but I’m only hearing him out alright! I’ll decide on whether or not I wanna take this job only after he explains, got it?”

“Got it!!”

“Alright, tell him to meet me at Benny’s in twenty.” Another quick confirmation and Eddie was hanging up the phone. so much for going back to sleep but at least he’d get a lovely breakfast out of it.

Part 3 

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

pt II our flag means death but I've never watched it

HELLO OFMD FANDOM! It's the Good Omens Mascot and Resident Dumbass, back again for part II. First, let's clear the air of all controversy!

Some of you lovely maggots were kind enough to warn me about certain discourse about a salad spoon and also about a certain gentleman named Izzy. I was warned not to make assumptions and not to take sides, and I hear some members had to leave the fandom for a while because it got toxic. Maggots. All the rest of you. Worry not about me. I'm here to unite the OFMD fandom! How, you ask? By being so undeniably stupid in my own opinions that you all will have to unite to disagree with me. You underestimate the power of my dumbassery. Well, let's not dilly dally and dawdle, here's the updated summary:

I have been informed there is cannibalism on this ship but it is not real. Someone pretends to eat someone and then their wife helps them fake their death while they run away from the ship though their lover wanted them to run to China.

There are BDSM lesbians, which is honestly such a slay, Pinterest has let me down by not informing me of that when I made Part I. I will no longer be using Pinterest a reliable source in future academic essays.

Mermaid Stede performs necromancy while a song called Kate Bush plays (I don't know who this is, a politician? Idk whether of US or UK).

Gravy Basket is a destination and Buttons is a sea witch and there is educational stabbing. Buttons is then a bird because of the BDSM lesbians.

There is a lady who is extremely beautiful and intimidating and powerful and she has twenty husbands and I assumed incorrectly that you were all talking about a Jack Russel terrier.

Let's start with the controversy! Izzy. Secondary protagonist or antagonist? Good or bad? Kindly father figure or homoerotically charged friend? Necessary death or not? No no no. Behold:

I present a new question, a hot take sizzling from the pan: Did Izzy really exist?

Personally, I firmly believe that no, he did not. I believe that the rum on the ship was spiked with hallucinogens.

Izzy was simply the manifestation of Ed's Freudian subconscious, taking the shape of a human being, vaguely resembling a humanoid potato Ed was forced to boil as a kid. I was a psychology student with a final grade of 99% and I accept only destructive criticism on my posts thank you. Feel free to discuss whether he boiled the potato in a fit of rage or whether he was forced to.

There are assorted Ned's, Mary's and an uncertain number of Jeff's on ship.

One of the Jeff's is an accountant, and there is a nonbinary talking sword named Jim. Actually I'm not sure if they talk.

Love you all, rooting for the show to be renewed.

REMINDERS. Be polite to each other in the reblogs, on tumblr reblogs spread posts and not likes (which don't do anything for visibility) unlike other social media sites, but MOST IMPORTANTLY.

I ACCEPT ONLY DESTRUCTIVE CRITICISM, THIS BLOG IS A GODLESS, LAWLESS LAND, AND ALL RAGE AT EACH OTHER MUST BE REDIRECTED AT ME. UNDERSTOOD? YAY.

[cheesecakeislazy]

JEFF THE KILLER HEADCANONS BECAUSE FUCK YOU! (Jk I love you and hope your life is great)

1. Him and BeN are besties for life, ride or die, would suck the poison out of each others dicks (not gay though)

2. Jeff has eye drops on him 24/7 so he doesn’t go fucking blind

3. Jeff has anger issues, one moment he’s chill as fuck and then EJ told him something that pisses him off- and now there’s a stab wound in Toby, a hole in the wall, and an angry Slenderman.

4. Jeff is totally straight. He totally thinks boobs are awesome. And totally only boobs. (He’s bisexual and swears on god he’s straight.)

5. He wakes up at 2 pm because he hates being awake in the mornings

6. He’s a metal head. He blasts music from his room so loud you can hear it across the mansion (slender mansion AU)

7. His deep gravely ass voice is perfect for metal songs

8. He likes to paint his nails black, and black only any other color is fucking gay

9. His vocabulary is 90% cuss words

10. He rarely showers. Ironically the gamer showers more often than him. Jeff prefers to be a stinky son of a bitch (take that fangirls)

11. He makes up for it with his dental hygiene (kinda) he brushes them twice a day and they look perfect (mostly)

12. He has extra sharp canines

13. He named his knife “Knifu” aka his knife waifu

14. The knife has been used so much that it constantly reeks of bleach and blood; it has permanent blood stains on it

15. Jeff bites his nails pretty often

16. Jeff isn’t good with throwing knives- he also isn’t that good at stabbing…

17. Jeff literally just stabs and stabs until he thinks his victim is dead, he doesn’t know any major artery’s (did I spell that right?)

18. Jeff is dyslexic

19. Jeff is horrible at math but refuses to admit it

20. Jeff wears eyeliner but refuses to admit it

21. He secretly loves the color pink but refuses to admit it (see a pattern here yet?)

22. Jeff is super sensitive to light due to the fact he doesn’t have any eyelids

23. He wears black gloves because he has burn marks on his hands and hates it when people look at them (fingerless gloves as his fingers aren’t burnt)

24. Jeff really wants tattoos and piercings but can’t get any due to his skin being extremely sensitive and fragile

25. Jeff hates the sun, it hurts his eyes and skin

26. Jeff likes going to playgrounds at night because 1. Fucking swings are awesome and 2. Creepy

27. Fucker is 5’11 and constantly calls BeN a midget

28. Jeff had a small crush on Toby for a while and lowkey has a small crush on BeN but…

29. Jeff is highkey downbad for EJ (it’s one-sided)

30. If Jeff ever tried to cook, he would burn everything

31. Jeff is fucking terrified of fire

32. Sometimes Ben likes to scare Jeff shitless by lighting a small fire inside Bens hands infront of Jeff

33. Sometimes Jeff throws Ben inside a kiddy pool and watches him panic about drowning (he is fully above the water)

34. Despite the fact Jeff and Ben both fuck with each other and their fears, they do it in tame ways to ensure the other doesn’t actually have a panic attack of any kind

35. Jeff lives in sweatpants, jeans are for losers and shorts are gay

36. T-shirts and hoodies, Jeff literally does not own a single sweater, long sleeve, or tank top.

37. His favorite T-shirt says “Fuck me in my ass (but not in a gay way)”

38. His second favorite says “Emo metal loving slut”

39. Both and almost all of his t-shirts are black with either white or red/pink writing

40. It is Jeff’s goal to have every photo taken of him (with permission) to have him flipping off the camera

41. Jeff watches South Park but thinks Family guy is stupid

42. He tries really hard to get on Liu/Sully’s good side but his anger issues usually get in the way

43. Jeff and Nina are actually really good friends that lowkey view each other as family

44. Jeff and Nina love to piss each other off constantly (Ben will prank whoever he is asked to)

45. Jeff has tried to kill Jane quite a few times, and Jane is constantly trying to kill him

46. Jeff personally isn’t into weed but he doesn’t judge BeN for being a stoner lowkey

47. Jeff is a virgin but he wouldn’t be nervous at all about having sex

48. Jeff is a kinky bastard

49. Jeff likes a good bowl of strawberry ice cream

50. Jeff likes banana smoothies

51. Jeff owns a few Nirvana T-shirts

[roosterforme]

Old Habits Die Hard Part 3 | Bradley Bradshaw x Reader

Summary: You and Bradley both seem startled by the way you feel about each other. And then Bradley makes a bold statement without saying anything.

Warnings: Angst, swears, sex

Length: 3100 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader (fuckboy college student Bradley)

Check out my masterlist

You ran down the stairs, not sure why you had been dumb enough to look for Bradley tonight in the first place. He wasn't for you. And you should know better. But those kisses... it had all been pretty innocent, but you were ready to start unzipping his jeans. 

But he was taken whether he wanted to admit it or not. Phoebe was everywhere. And it looked like she certainly wasn't the only one he was sleeping with, according to his door. He could flirt with you all he wanted, but he didn't get to have you, too. 

You rushed into the living room and Jeff immediately spotted you. "Damn, took you a while to find the kitchen?" he asked jokingly. 

You laughed it off, taking Jeff's hand. His eyes immediately went wide as he cautiously laced his fingers with yours. "Hey, I'm actually feeling really tired, and I think Janessa wants to stay longer. Can you walk me home?"

"Of course," Jeff replied, leading you toward the door. "I'd be happy to." 

He walked you the few blocks to your apartment, even letting you wear his hoodie when you started to shiver. You were embarrassed about kissing Bradley. Just mortified inside. He was not a good idea.

The last thing you thought about before you pulled Jeff in for a goodnight kiss was Bradley's door and all the names. So you kissed Jeff hard and slid your tongue along his lips until he opened his mouth to let you taste him. He tasted like beer, and he was using so much tongue now, you wanted to gag. He caressed your cheek and stabbed your mouth with his tongue before you pulled away. Because that was the worst kiss of your life. 

And the fact that you knew how expertly Bradley could kiss you undoubtedly made Jeff's kiss even worse. 

"You should come to the house again tomorrow night," Jeff whispered with his hand on your hip as you backed slowly up to your front door.

"Uh, maybe," you mumbled. "I'll think about it." You unlocked your door and squeezed yourself inside. "Thanks for walking me home."

------------------------------

Bradley took a minute to turn his phone off before following you down the stairs. He didn't know how to explain to you that he'd rather be with you than Phoebe or anyone else any day of the week. You were different. He liked talking to you. Being around you made him feel good. 

But as soon as he saw you taking Jeff's hand in yours, he felt the urge to punish himself by drinking a bottle of vodka. He watched you leave the house with Jeff, and he turned toward the kitchen.

Bradley made the rounds, chatted with some guys from the frats and flirted with some girls, all while he sipped from a bottle of Smirnoff. Hopefully he would be able to pass out before he called Phoebe back. A small part of him recognized that she was probably at the party somewhere, but he wasn't sure he wanted to see her right now.

As soon as he had polished off a third of the bottle of vodka, he started to pity himself. He knew better than to drink like this. He hadn't done this since July, when he had broken the table and ended up in the emergency room. He hadn't had any hard liquor since Chase got kicked out of the fraternity. Since the other guys started to carry around a grudge against Bradley. 

Then he was distracted from his feelings; Jeff had returned and he looked so smug. Bradley should be the one looking smug right now. He should still have you up in his room, still be kissing you, maybe even be fucking you by now. 

But instead he was listening to Jeff and some of his other fraternity brothers talking about you. "She was feeling tired, so I didn't want to invite myself in, but I just made out with her," Jeff said with the most obnoxious smile. And he made a point to look right at Bradley as he said it. "She's a good kisser," Jeff added, sending a smirk in his direction.

Bradley deserved this. Even though he had kissed you first, you picked Jeff. And Jeff wasn't wrong; you were a fucking great kisser. Kind of timid and shy, but still so hot, so sweet. Like sugar. 

Bradley took a huge sip of vodka, and staggered a bit in Jeff's direction. "She's sweet," Bradley said. "So sweet."

Jeff just looked at him with pity in his eyes. Because suddenly Phoebe was there, draping her arms around Bradley. 

"There you are! I've been calling you all night," she purred. Bradley tried to pull away, but her hands were on his chest and she was kissing his neck. He didn't like it when she touched his scars. "Let's go upstairs. I'm not even wearing underwear. Should still be easy for you even if you're drunk," she whispered, giggling next to his ear. She took his hand and guided it up her short dress.

Bradley wanted to tell her no. He tried so hard, even though he was wasted now. But she backed him into the hallway with her hand rubbing his dick through his pants. He was thinking about you though. You made him hard without touching him. You made him hard when he thought about you and imagined your voice.

"Come on, Bradley. I can see you're fucked up. I'll do all the work," Phoebe promised in a patronizing tone. Bradley didn't want to be alone, so he let her guide him up the stairs. She took his clothes off and got on all fours on his bed. He could see her pussy, and even through his drunkenness, he tried to fight it. But he couldn't. This was too easy. Too familiar. 

He rolled a condom down his length and fucked her until he came, gasping for air as he thought about you.

---------------------------------

Bradley must have passed out on top of his bedding. His head was pounding as he tried to open his eyes. He knew he wasn't alone, but he couldn't remember who was with him. 

Oh, but he'd been kissing Sugar. That was the last thing he could remember. Yes, you must still be here. He would feel better after he heard your voice again.

"I'm going to change into some of your clothes to sleep. It's cold in here." Phoebe. He was with Phoebe. That was Phoebe's voice.

"Fuck," Bradley groaned, standing up. The room was spinning, but he could still see the condom wrapper next to the bed. "No."

"What is wrong with you?" Phoebe asked as she rooted around in his drawers looking for a shirt. "You are acting so weird."

Bradley cleared his throat and looked at her naked backside. "I want you to leave."

She spun around to face him. "Excuse me?"

"Please, Phoebe. I want to be alone."

"What is your problem, Bradley? You know, I could go fuck any of your fraternity brothers, and they would be begging me to stay with them."

"Phoebe," he groaned, rubbing his throbbing head. 

"What's this about? Because you know I don't even care when you decide you feel like sleeping around. That doesn't matter to me. So let's just go to sleep and talk in the morning."

"Just go!" he begged. "Please, Phoebe. I need to be alone."

"Fuck you, Bradley," she said, pulling her tiny dress back on and storming out. Of course Bradley caught sight of his door before she slammed it shut. 

He flopped down onto his bed, cradling his head in his hands. He'd thought about you again. He'd thought about you the entire time he'd been in here with Phoebe. He had tried to convince himself you never left with Jeff. 

Bradley knew this was fucked up. And he would have given anything to have his mom back. He didn't know who else he could even talk to about this shit. Even if he could manage to get you to kiss him again, you weren't just a regular hookup. You were different. And he needed you to want to kiss him again, because you were all he could think about. He really wished Jeff would just fuck off and leave you alone. 

But it was Bradley's fault that you left. For some reason, he always went back to Phoebe. Maybe it was because she didn't care about his face, or because she already knew he was fucked up. But Bradley didn't feel so fucked up when he was with you. Now he was afraid his dependence on Phoebe was going to cost him. He needed you to know that Phoebe wasn't a threat. Nobody was. As he started to pass out again, a plan came together in his mind.

--------------------------------

You were still trying to wash the feeling of Jeff off of your mouth the next morning when you brushed your teeth. Why had you done that? You didn't even want him now. And you'd managed to put your bad kiss with Jeff at the font of your mind in place of your amazing kiss with Bradley. 

When you thought about Bradley's fingers gliding across your skin, you could have moaned. It just felt that good. Then you scowled. You didn't need a boyfriend, but you also didn't need a one and done hookup either. And that was likely all you would get from him. Why was he even flirting with you? He didn't need you for a good time. He'd been leading you on while he had Phoebe and who knows who else calling his phone. 

So you let yourself enjoy a lazy Saturday morning where your mantra was Guys Suck. You worked on some math questions, occasionally singing a little song you made up about how men were scum. Then you made a grilled cheese sandwich and took a long walk, still humming along to your song. 

You felt much better by that evening when Janessa came home to change before going back to Tyson's room for another night. 

"Come back with me," Janessa whined. "We can hang out together at the Beta house tonight. Drink all of their beer instead of our own."

You rolled your eyes but smiled. "You expect me to believe you won't immediately ditch me for Tyson?"

Then she smirked. "Well... I heard you made out with Jeff, so how do I know you won't ditch me for him?"

You gaped at her. "How did you hear about that?"

"Jeff practically made a public service announcement about it last night after he walked you home. He was telling all the guys about it."

Your heart was pounding, and you felt sick. "Was Bradley there? When Jeff said that?"

"Yeah, he was. And he got fucking trashed last night after that."

"He did?" you whispered. You couldn't stand the thought of Bradley knowing you had kissed Jeff after you had kissed him. "Oh."

"Just come with me. We can hang out, and then you can see Jeff."

You chewed on your bottom lip. "I need to take Jeff's hoodie back anyway, but I'm not staying long."

So you ended up at the Beta house, but you went right to the kitchen in search of Bradley. He wasn't there. You doubled back down the hallway and found Janessa again. 

"Have you seen Bradley?" you asked her, running your fingers along Jeff's hoodie in your hands. 

She shook her head. "No, but I did see Phoebe just now. She would probably know where he is. Oh, there she goes."

You turned to look where Janessa was pointing, and you gasped. Phoebe was stunning. Tall and blonde with bright eyes and just the right amount of curves. She was wearing a tiny skirt, and she looked pissed off. You watched her storm up the stairs that led to the bedrooms on the second floor. 

Janessa was distracted by Tyson again, so you crept along the hallway and started up the stairs as well. You lied to yourself, pretending you just intended to leave Jeff's hoodie outside his door. But of course you were now eavesdropping on Bradley and Phoebe. You froze before you reached the top of the stairs, because their conversation was loud. Bradley sounded angry. You'd never heard his voice like this before. You were used to him being soft and raspy, but now he was close to yelling. 

"Phoebe, you can't just keep coming over after I don't answer your calls!"

"Oh please, Bradley. It barely took any coaxing last night after you saw what I was wearing! I figured your phone battery had died or something."

There was a pause before Bradley said, "I was wasted last night. I didn't even remember what we did until I woke up."

"So a normal night for you then?" Phoebe asked with venom, and you really hated her voice. 

"Phoebe, I haven't been drinking as much, and you know it. I've been trying... since July."

"Then why did you get blasted last night?" she asked a little softer this time.

Another pause, and now Bradley's voice was quieter, so you crept up to the top of the steps, closer to his open door. "You want me to be honest with you? I don't think we should spend time together anymore. I don't think we should be calling each other for hookups. It's not a good idea now."

"Fine," she agreed, but she didn't sound like she was fine with it. "But if this is why you painted your door today, then you can just go fuck yourself. I don't care who she is, there's no way she's as good as I am in bed."

You were standing at the top of the stairs as Phoebe slammed his door closed and stormed down the hallway. She barely glanced in your direction as she descended the stairs in a huff. You continued toward Bradley's room, dropping off Jeff's hoodie on the way. 

When you saw Bradley's door, you froze in shock. It had been freshly painted a clean, glossy white. All of the names, including Phoebe's, had been covered up entirely. But your lips curled into a surprised smile as you read what was now written across his door. You recognized Bradley's handwriting from flipping through his notebooks, and he had apparently taken a black sharpie to his pristine door after painting it. 

SUGAR

what's your number?

You were smiling so much, it would have been mortifying if Bradley opened his door and found you there. He had told Phoebe to get out. He had covered up all the names and phone numbers. He had asked you for yours. 

Maybe he was still thinking about kissing you. Maybe he'd let you explain that you were one hundred percent not interested in Jeff.  

You raised your fist and knocked. 

"Phoebe, seriously! I just want to be alone!" he yelled through the door.

You backed away slowly, now unsure of yourself. You chewed on your lip and then spotted the sharpie marker sitting on the floor next to the door. Before you could change your mind, you wrote your phone number just below the note Bradley had left for you. 

This was a game. At least right now it was. He'd put the ball in your court, and now you'd put it back in his. You capped the marker and took it with you. No way you wanted anyone else writing on his door, especially not before Bradley saw it for himself. 

Maybe he would text or call you. You hoped he would. You looked at Jeff's sweatshirt on the floor in front of his door and tried to sneak out of the house before he saw you. 

-------------------------------

Bradley woke up on Sunday morning with a clear head after having had nothing to drink and nobody stay over with him the previous night. He felt amazing. He stretched out in bed, his morning wood tenting the sheet as he closed his eyes and let his hand drift down his body to grasp his cock. 

He thought about you. It was all you. He smiled as he jerked himself off, thinking about your lips on his, remembering how you used his name instead of his nickname. He came all over his own abs, wishing you were with him. He just stayed there, sprawled out for a few minutes before he stood to get cleaned up. 

Bradley had been hoping you'd stop by again last night. He'd been reeling since he learned you kissed Jeff right after you'd been kissing him. But he liked you a lot. And he could tell you liked him even though you thought you'd be better off with Jeff. 

He'd get you straightened out. 

He grabbed a clean towel and headed to the bathroom, but the door was locked. He knocked and heard Tyson and Janessa both respond from inside. 

"Don't make a mess!" Bradley yelled. "I just cleaned in there!"

With a sigh, he turned back toward his room, already thinking he'd probably want to wipe down the surfaces when they were done in the bathroom. 

"Holy shit," he whispered when he saw the outside of his door. You must have been to the house last night. Either that or someone else was playing a prank on him. He grabbed his phone from his deck and saved the phone number as Sugar in his contacts. While he was in there, he deleted all of the names and numbers of the girls who he didn't even know. That left just a handful of people he cared about, but that was fine, because he was already texting you now.

Then he sat on the edge of his bed with his towel and waited, his morning shower completely forgotten. Because you wrote back.

--------------------------

You were eating breakfast when Bradley texted you. 

Sugar, is that really you?

You smiled and squealed as you responded.

Beer Boy, is that really you?

You paced around, waiting for him to write back.

It's me. I wish you hadn't run out on Friday night. Do you like my door?

"Oh my God," you whispered out loud as you wrote back to him.

I do. Are you planning on adding more names?

He wrote back immediately. 

No.

-------------------------

The door!! OMG!!! Thanks for reading, please leave me some love! And thank you to @mak-32 for helping me make this fic a reality. This is for you, Mak!

PART 4

@hotch-meeeeeuppppp

@swthxrry

@chassy21

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@xoxabs88xox

[usopps-devotee]

I know Jeff channeled Buggy wonderfully but there’s just enough differences between OPLA!Buggy and anime!Buggy for me to insist they also differ in what they call their s/o.

OPLA: My Little Star, beautiful, caterpillar, long names like Spotlight of My Life, really a lot of taunting nicknames since this Buggy is a bit meaner

Anime: Usually your name with “-chan” or “-rin” added if we’re using actual anime dialogue. Also showstopper, Diva if you’re being a menace. (Honestly don’t see him as being big on nicknames)

Both, however, call you starlet

Anon, silly silly Anon. What do you mean anime buggy doesn't call you pet names?

Need I remind you how he always compliments his s/o saying that they shine like gold, calling them golden so much you have no clue if he is talking about you or loot he just found. Always making sure you know that you're his treasure and he'll never let you go, even in front of others like Mihawk. How he makes sure to tuck his sleepy sapphire in bed right next to him. He calls you the name of anything that's flashy just like him, he wants you to know you're priceless and worth more than the world could ever provide. After all he's more of a treasure hunter than he is a pirate. Compared to others.

Another nickname they both would have in common is gold star and trophy because you're both in their eyes.

Moral being I believe they both would call you pet names but anime!Buggy calls you all things glitter and gold while OPLA!Buggy calls you sweet theatrical names with the prettiest degrading insults in between.

[lets-try-some-writing]

The Grim Dark Archives: Warning to All Personnel

[In light of intel gathered from years of observation, all who interact with the alien lifeforms known as the Autobots are to follow the listed rules.]

══════════════════

Surviving Day to Day Interactions

Do not tell them your name. They will find out everything about you and those you love. A designation will be provided to you upon being assigned to the facility.

Never bring any personal accessories into the Autobot facilities. You won't get them back, and they may be used against you later.

Do not touch any equipment not explicitly labeled as being made by the organization. The alien tech does more harm than good to those without any ports to connect to it with.

Never stay at the facility overnight unless you have been confirmed as part of the security crew. Marcus was found dismembered after his attempt to stay behind for some nighttime cleaning.

Stay quiet as much as possible. They notice you less that way.

Refrain from standing out. Blend in with other agents. Otherwise they may take an interest in you.

Don't dye your hair bright red of any shade. Arcee will make you vanish.

Don't ask the Autobots any questions. You won't like the answer. Agent Fowler is the only one who has been properly trained to handle their responses.

Avoid being overly friendly with the Autobots. They will remember your kindness and they will attempt to repay it.

Do not accept gifts of any kind from anyone. Especially not other agents.

They are NOT agents. Do not trust them.

Stay out of the storage room. We haven't seen Frank in two weeks since he entered.

If you enjoy living, keep clear of the medical bay. You don't want to be caught there alone. Ever.

If there are any glowing blue substances, don't touch them. They like seeing if new hires will fall for it.

Proper Strange Occurrence Responses

The piles of clothes in the corner of the hangar are not to be touched. Bumblebee likes to collect them, particularly children's clothes.

If the lights start to flicker, leave the area immediately. We have a backup generator. If the power falters, it was intentional.

Blood stains are not to be acknowledged. If you don't' see it, the Autobots don't see you.

Never stay at the facility overnight. We won't be able to retrieve you once the place goes on lockdown.

If you end up trapped inside at night, run. You are too small for them to reach you more often than not.

Never try and use your communicator. They will pick up the signal and your location will be revealed.

Don't listen if they call for you. They may try to offer to help you out of the facility. You can never be sure if they will actually aid you or not.

Bumblebee is the only one you can trust if you are locked inside. He has been the only Autobot confirmed to never harm personnel in any serious manner.

Even still, don't trust him. He will attempt to invite you to stay in his room until morning. If you are persuasive enough in declining, he might take you to the security crew.

If you fail to convince him to take you to the security crew, only accept the offer to play human games.

Do not under ANY circumstances, accept the offer to play any game you don't know by heart.

Keep him occupied until morning and you will survive. The others won't bother you so long as you remain with him.

If Bumblebee is not at base, keep moving, never stay still for long.

Find the security office. There are blast doors. Jeff has been a night guard at the facility for almost four years without the Autobots being aware of him.

No we do not know how he does it. Don't question. Just know he will keep you safe until morning.

Food left out anywhere that is not in the supply room is not for your consumption. The more delicious it looks, the more likely they are to have set the trap.

If you hear 90's music, get the hell out of wherever you are. You don't want to be around Wheeljack when he turns on his music.

Maps are meaningless. If the layout of the inner parts of the facility change, you are going to have to find your way out without aid.

Strange sounds will occasionally follow you through the facility, sometimes sounding like laughter. Do not acknowledge it.

Friday is not a good day for you. Prime does things then that you do not want to see.

In the Event you meet an Autobot Privately

Don't accept any of the gifts they might offer. Your wellbeing is not their concern.

Do not answer any questions truthfully. Never outright lie, but offer nothing freely. They are less likely to kill you that way.

All Autobots enjoy a puzzle and can be stunned into allowing you to leave if you offer information that is particularly confusing to them.

Abuse this fact as much as you are able. Make up any lies you need to in order to get out of there.

Do not ever be caught alone with an Autobot again afterwards. They will not be happy that you fed them falsehoods.

We have specially trained agents who are educated in the proper way to ask questions by [Redacted] himself. You are not one of them. Don't even try.

If you meet him, Ratchet will try to force you to hold tools and vials for him under the guise of requiring assistance. Politely decline and walk away without looking back.

He may also attempt to request a scan from you. If you comply, there is nothing we can do to help you. The contract is clear.

Bumblebee will often ask those who meet him to play a game. He is the least malicious and will often accept if you decline.

If he insists you play, give him the children's toy that should come with your introduction packet. It should placate him. He likes model cars the most.

Prime will attempt to invite you speak to him over tea or in some other seemingly innocent fashion. Politely decline if you can.

If he remains still and does not walk away, offer him the card that should have come in your kit. Your life will be safeguarded if he is paid in information.

If you find yourself with Arcee, do NOT make eye contact. She will do everything in her power aside from physically manhandling you to get you to meet her gaze.

Keep your eyes down, walk away, and say nothing if she begins to threaten you. She won't do anything unless you look. at. her.

Bulkhead tries to avoid us as much as possible, but if you find yourself alone with him, be civil. Do not mention anything related to combat or machinery. Keep everything domestic.

He will remain civil as long as you do. However if you mention any sort of "breakdown" he will interrogate you and you will promptly be found dead in a ditch a month later.

As a general rule, assume your life is over if you end up in a room with Wheeljack. He is one of the few who does not care for blending in.

If you don't end up vanishing, you will be lucky if all you walk away with is a broken limb. We have no way to ward him off yet.

If you are in a room with more than one Autobot, pit them against each other through distraction and run for your life. They can't get you in the vents.

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[These are all the warnings that have been compiled for the time being. More may be added later, but for now, this are the rules that have been created for all personnel.

Agent Witwicky signing off.]