#not really enough to be openly pretentious about

[rotisseries]

deeply annoying that I'm never gonna get to be a pretentious "one of their first fans😌" types about a music artist not only because I'm consistently abysmal at expanding my music taste to artists that aren't popular yet but also because whenever I DO get to an artist before everyone else does I'm only like. 6 months early to the party. not significant enough

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hello, I'm not sure if you've explained it or not but going in the depths of Malleus and Leona's character relationship? Like explaining their interactions and how they actually think of one another

Many fan works tend to depict Leona and Malleus as extremely antagonistic toward one another. However, the truth is that their relationship is more like a one sided dislike or annoyance (on Leona’s part). It’s not uncommon for them to bicker or have some tension in their conversations even when they have the same goal in mind such as protecting a harp (Beans Day) or wooing a ghost (although Malleus is not participating for the latter, Leona still insists the ghost would prefer him to Malleus to get that dig in). They’re definitely still on bad terms), but Malleus is generally pretty neutral with Leona unless he is provoked.

Leona’s beef with Malleus is story relevant and makes itself known in book 2. He appears to primarily dislike Malleus because it is thanks to his sheer power that Diasomnia crushes Savanaclaw every inter-dorm tournament, essentially dashing Savanaclaw students’ hopes of being scouted and going pro. Buuut it seems like from the way Leona speaks about his rival, he has long since held these feelings and they aren’t linked to a single inciting incident.

Part of why Leona dislikes Malleus in general seems to be Malleus’s attitude. Leona describes his fellow prince as “pretentious”, “high and mighty”, and acting in ways that show disrespect to him (like in Malleus’s Dorm Uniform vignettes, when he casted a spell meant for objects on Leona). He may also take issue with Malleus’s “incomprehensible fae humor”, which Leona references both during Halloween and in Malleus’s Ceremonial Robes. Additionally, Leona outright states that he hates people who refuse to listen (Silver) and just march to the beat of their own drum (Rook), which are traits you can argue also fits Malleus (since Malleus didn’t really listen to the upset dorm leaders in his Dorm Uniform vignettes). Leona appears to prefer dealing with Malleus to Silver though, as he says that Malleus’s ears aren’t just “for show”. Interestingly, Leona might dislike Malleus less than Rook; Leona is wary of so much as wishing Rook a happy birthday and refuses to dine next to Rook… yet Leona does sit next to Malleus at the end of Terror is Trending.

Leona is one of the few students who isn’t afraid of Malleus and has the gall to openly insult him (or is rude) on more than one occasion. He doesn’t really show any remorse or intent to apologize. In fact, Leona understands very well what bothers Malleus and often acts on those points of weakness to goad him, whereas it is very rare for Malleus to start the fights. For example, Leona tells Malleus in Malleus’s Ceremonial Robes vignettes, “You thinkin’ you’re gonna get it next time? Well, sorry to break it to you, but no one’s ever gonna invite you,” and, “You’re never gonna have a chance to wear those robes, so put’em away for good already.” This, of course, angers Malleus and leads into the two insulting one another’s physical features and exchanging threats (removing horns, declawing, calling each other animals or implying a lack of humanity, etc.). They similarly insult one another in Terror is Trending (again, Leona instigates: “Hmph, look at Mr. High-Horse over here. Were you flattered to be asked [to have your picture taken]?”) and again in Fairy Gala (Leona again: “Ever consider gettin’ off your tail and cleanin’ up your fellow fae’s mess?”). I’m sure there are tons of other instances you could come up with; these are just the immediate ones that come to my mind. Leona is also resentful about the idea of ever asking for Malleus’s help. He’d rather ask anyone else, even Malleus’s second in command, than ask the guy himself. Funnily enough, Lilia and Silver see these heated conversations as proof of Malleus and Leona’s friendship. I feel like this could also, in part, feed into Leona’s dislike of Malleus, as people having the wrong idea about your relationship can be irritating.

Now, Malleus does appear to care about maintaining amicable relations with representatives of other countries. Often it is he who instructs Sebek to apologize to Leona for being rude—two major instances of this occur in Malleus’s Ceremonial Robes vignettes and during Vargas Camp. He even personally (and happily) welcomes Leona to Diasomnia in his Ceremonial Robes vignettes, viewing Leona as no different than any other guest.

This goes into the realm of speculation (so please bear with me!!) but it could be said that Malleus has a very… unique view of friendship? So Lilia and Silver may not be too far off when they say that Leona and Malleus are chums in their own weird way. In Glorious Masquerade, Rollo poses a real threat to Malleus and to his people—yet when Malleus experiences genuine fear for the first time, he seems more excited at the novel feeling rather than cower as a result of it. Following the climax, Malleus still presents the song he had prepared as a gift of good will for NBC. He also proceeds to play with Rollo’s guilt to get him to agree to sharing a dance. And THEN Malleus says he looks forward to being invited again????? These are all quite friendly gestures for someone who put you and all your people in danger, my guy… 😂 So perhaps Malleus just gas a very different way of approaching friendships? Hard to say, but that’s some food for thought!

Leona and Malleus have had moments of amicability, so it’s totally possible for them to get along. This happens primarily in Leona’s Union Jacket vignettes; in them, Malleus gifts the birthday boy an antique book in an ancient language (Leona’s best subject). The two then talk about enjoying the freedom of walking around town without an attendant or some servants trailing after them. Being of a similar social status, they are able to understand one another to some extent.

This is going into another point of speculation, but I wonder if Leona and Malleus recognize their similarities beyond this interview. I certainly have; they’re both arrogant princes that deeply desire what the other prince has, and I feel that their animosity, in part, comes from this realization (whether conscious or unconscious). I certainly get the sense that some of Leona’s hatred of Malleus comes from seeing his own desires manifested in him—of being that coveted prince praised for his power, his people lavishing him with affirmations, a crown… All the things Leona doesn’t have.

[greypetrel]

hiiiii for your Shepard Max!!

the lovers: love, harmony, mutual attraction; “I love you so much.” possible AUs/settings/ideas: fluff, soulmate au, confessions, mutual pining

Hi Rowan! Thank you for asking and here you go. It’s silly, it’s light, you can totally forget the galaxy is under attack if you have rock music playing loud enough. (a note: I do like Miranda a lot, but Max’s opinion differs from mine. They grew on each other as rivals, but their start was rough.)

Tis the prompt List

Through the bars of a rhyme

[ Shepard (genderfluid) x Liara T'Soni | Full spoilers for Mass Effect 2 and 3 | 3935 words ]

The Lovers. Upright: Love, unity, relationships, balance Reverded: Disharmony, imbalance, conflict, detachment, bad choices, indecision

2185 – Normandy SR-2

There were no messages from Liara, when Shepard managed to finally sit down.

And maybe go through their mails without anyone to watch them. Hopefully.

They stopped their index finger upon the key to open the first message, hesitating, and looked up instead. Searching for cameras, cctvs, anything.

There were at least eighteen thoughts about having been brought back from death by Cerberus they had to examine. The Illusive Man left them feeling like they were watched and weighted, examined like a fish in a shop. How bright were their eyes, how long ago had they been caught, if their meat was still good to eat, if the fishmonger left the entrails in and the scales on. Sure, Miranda had an interest in keeping them safe. Keeping her investment and her fucking project alive.

Max’s first instinct was to unscrew a pothole in that absurdly big cabin and deprive the pretentious, classy bitch of the satisfaction. They already knew how painful and quick that death was, after all.

But-

Joker.

Beside the mission -someone else could have done it. They didn’t really need them- Max couldn’t leave Joker there, on his own in the grasp of fucking Cerberus.

Not after he threw away a career in the Alliance to follow them.

They would die before admitting it openly, but they were far more grateful for his presence there than they were for a second chance at life.

“Ok, then.”

They patted their hands on their thighs and rose. A quick glance on the messages list confirmed that there was none from Liara, and they needed something to distract themselves from the knowledge that the one person they wanted to hear from the most… Wasn’t there. Not a word, not a greeting not a “What the fuck did you do”.

Not that Liara would have ever told her that.

But nothing at all?

They had to distract themselves. Definitely.

Searching for cameras to dismount would have been a nice distraction, and a much useful one.

Chambers told them that the loft -eurgh- had been filled with everything they may need and want. And if any dossier of them they followed was accurate, there had to be a toolbox in that room, somewhere.

Miranda couldn’t get their scar right on their right cheek, sure. But giving a toolbox to an engineer was… Basic politeness? Basic politeness, surely. Or one thing to complain about if it was missing.

And so it began the operation “explore the goddamn huge room”. Max started to open each drawer and every cabinet, shuffling through the contents -who needed that many shirts?- and snorting to the things that were there because clearly people didn’t know them. Like: silk nightgowns? In pastels? Oh, no.

Nerves raising for that and because there was no sign of one single screwdriver -they would have been content with just one and a roll of duct tape- they almost missed the box, labelling as yet another fancy item – they found a hair curler! As if her bob was long enough to curl or they had the minimum intention to.

But something they didn’t know what, made them stop before slamming close the cabinet door fully.

It wasn’t a cardboard box. It was a fancy one, rigid and covered in leather, closed by metal clasps.

Weird.

Max huffed, shrugging it off and deciding to open it nonetheless. Just for completeness.

Surely it held some other shitty thing she didn’t need, like… They didn’t know. A vertical iron steamer. Miranda looked like the person who would have thought a vertical iron steamer was a basic need necessity, as if anyone looked at how many wrinkles your clothes had when you were shooting at Collectors.

Sitting crossed-legged in front of the cabinet, Max unlocked the box, and yelped when she saw the content as they had just seen a ghost.

Their vinyls.

Their family’s vinyls collection. The one her family collected and kept, brought along from Livorno to Mindoir. The one Max escaped the Batarian attack with. The one they dragged with them wherever they went, the one that held all their childhood.

The one they were sure died with them on the Normandy.

Joey Tempest was looking at them from the cover of The Final Countdown, with the very indenture from mamma’s nail that signalled it was their copy, and not another one.

They shuffled through the discs, checking if there was everything.

The paper sleeves were more worn out, some weren’t their copies but were the right titles, but everything was there, up to the last one she didn’t really like but her grandpa did – Dire Straits. They knew the list by heart still, and the thought was at the same time comforting and heartbreaking.

Max felt the urge to cry.

It was better than any message she could send her, in hindsight.

Because there was a handful of people that would have known to look and retrieve those discs.

But there was only one who knew the whole list.

---

2183 – Normandy SR-1

“Don’t you find it weird?”

Max asked, half a laughter in their voice not betraying how much her heart was in her throat with nerves at the question. They carefully checked their position, slouching a little more against the wall of her cabin, arms crossed to their chest and an ankle crossed over the other. Very casually as if they were doing nothing special at all.

“Should I?” Liara asked, sitting on the chair of their desk, looking up at them again. Her brows furrowed minutely in doubt. “Who else found it weird?”

“Well, you know… In chronological or alphabetical order…” Max pretended to think about it. “Everyone.”

“Everyone?” Liara wasn’t convinced.

“Yup.” Max nodded.

“Why so? It’s just… music?”

The Asari really looked out of her depths. She carefully deposited the vinyl she was looking on the pile of others on her lap, placing both hands flat on top of it right after. Treating them like they were precious and could break if handled badly. Professional deformation, most likely, but it felt a little like it was Max that she was treading so carefully with.

“Yeah, in a storage medium that’s out of production since a century, difficult to store and transport, it takes up so much space, readers are rare and expensive, complex to build by yourself… They’re a relic and I can’t listen to them, basically, and I’ve heard more complaints about my playlist than about everything else I did commanding this ship.”

Max realized only then that it was such a stupid thing to say she couldn’t think of many other that were worse. Why not talking about ex partners since they were there? Boia, they hadn’t even kissed yet -well they almost did but were interrupted, it didn’t count- and Max was already making it awkward. They plastered a smile on their face and laughed, shrugging it off and waving a hand in the air, dismissively.

“Joking, of course.”

Liara didn’t laugh. Liara looked down at the discs in her lap and took some time to think, caressing the cover of the first in line - The Final Countdown, and Max totally, absolutely didn’t take it as a sign. It was just a case that she had stopped on their favourite. On what had been mamma’s favourite.

“I think it’s sweet that you still keep them, even if you can’t listen to them directly.” The Asari moved the pile on the desk with the same care of before, making sure they were all stable before letting it go. “But I’m an archaeologist, loving old things no one can nor should use anymore is the basic requirement for my career.”

She rose up and smiled at her, cheeks taking a shade of blue that looked deeper than before. Max interpreted it as a blush, and smiled back at her, her heart singing in relief. As close as they could get in presenting her new love interest to the family, and it went well.

“And who knows, maybe one day you’ll be able to acquire a reader.”

“I’d need a bigger cabin.”

“Never say never?”

“With the Alliance fundings?"

They shared a laugh, sweeping the awkwardness of the moment away. It felt more natural, then, that Liara had walked closer. Too close.

It felt as much natural for Max to lean forward.

“Can I?”

“P-please.”

Her lips were soft, and Max started to think that Dire Straits weren’t as bad as she had always thought. To Romeo and Juliet they could relate, right then.

---

2185 – Hagalaz

“Dr. T’Soni has left something for you, dr. T’Soni.”

Liara sighed, putting her terminal down to face Glyph. For all Max’s effort, they had managed to switch the drone to call her dr. T’Soni, that was true. Which was nicer than being called Shadow Broker -she still didn’t feel the title as belonging fully to her. The only issue was that the drone now referred to everyone as dr. T’Soni.

Max had apologized, saying that with such a short time, and so many more urgent reparations to be done to the outer shell of the ship, they and Tali couldn’t do more than this. Shepard, Garrus and Grunt had taken down quite the number of antennae and outer components to break in, after all, and if Liara wanted to survive on that ship and in that role, shields and communications were the priority.

Glyph had been a favour. A thank you for the dinner and the talk and well. The rest.

“Which dr. T’Soni are you talking about, Glyph?” She asked, massaging her temple.

“Dr. T’Soni who commands the Normandy, dr. T’Soni.”

Of course.

Liara felt irritation and unease rising in her throat. She told them not to do anything. But telling Max Shepard what to do most often than not resulted into having them doing the exact opposite.

How they survived as a subordinate in the Alliance, Liara never understood.

Nonetheless, she rose and headed where Glyph led her to see that “something” Max left her.

Liara knew that that dinner had been a mistake. She should have cut it right there and then, left them free. Cut the ties before having to mourn them all over again. Running to the Omega 4 relay was suicidal, Max hadn’t had the audacity to say otherwise either. And she had the audacity for much of anything. Including jumping into a relay no one ever returned from on a Cerberus mission.

It had been a mistake.

It had been a mistake falling -because Liara knew herself and she fell, hard and deep- for a human that would have lived but for a blink of an eye and that hadn’t fallen as hard, that was clear. Rekindling that fire, now that she had made up her mind, build herself another life from scratch of the wreck that she had been after the Normandy -the first one- was destroyed. She couldn’t do it again, and she should never have boarded the SR-2 again.

“Just one for the road” they had told them. “It doesn’t have to mean anything.”

It meant everything, for her, and it scared her that Max had behaved with their usual happy-go-lucky, carefree demeanour. Like nothing ever mattered beside going with the flow. Like Liara didn’t matter enough to leave her with sadness and regret.

Goddess, if they knew how long and how difficult it had been to retrieve all her damn records…

But no.

Letting doubt and fear turn into rage wouldn’t do. Liara had better things to do.

She would enter her cabin, see whatever Max left -a bottle of her Italian fizzy drink of choice, no doubt- and went straight back to work. Like removing a band-aid.

The door slid open in front of her, and she thanked Glyph for letting her in first.

“Goddess-”

Whatever she thought she would have found in there, that wasn’t that.

Balancing between the pillow and the headboard of the bed, the paper sleeve reflecting the neon light above, there was one of said bloody vinyls she all but spat blood to retrieve. With a post-it stuck on the front.

Liara ran to the bed and took it in hand, caressing the the cover. The singer in black and white, looking to the side with a smile in his eyes.

Bruce Springsteen, the album Born to Run.

The post it just recited two simple lines in a messy, angular cursive she knew all too well and she didn’t think she would have seen again.

Together, Wendy, we can live with the sadness I'll love you with all the madness in my soul

(etc etc but I didn’t get bigger post-its.)

Max-

Oh she hated her. Her and her post-its and her ways from a century prior.

She almost didn’t realize she had dialed the Normandy -they docked out half an hour before, but they couldn’t be to the relay yet- until Max’s voice rang, slightly nasal and as if she was singing.

“Yeeeeees?”

“Whoever uses post-its anymore?”

“People of taste, of course.” They huffed. “And of money, can you believe those ones were the most expensive I could find? And they’re so small. Thieves.”

“Why did you get them, then?” Liara sat more comfortably on the bed, carefully placing the disc on her propped up legs.

“Because it’s Cerberus money I was spending. On hindsight, it may have been better to buy the bigger ones in a ridiculous quantity to push the price up. Mh. EDI, notify me in two hours to buy a shitton of huge post-its.”

“Yes, Shepard.”

The computer sounded a little resigned, if an AI can even express feelings.

“Yeah, well… Pretend I thought of this before and I wrote the rest of the lyrics of that verse.”

“Aye aye, Commander.”

They chuckled at that, and there was a full minute of awkward silence, full on unsaid. It felt bad to hang down, it felt unfair to drag this on. On the background of the call, Liara could faintly hear other voices, and heard Max answering distractly, correcting the and giving orders.

“Max, I-”

“There is-”

They said, at the same time. It broke the tension and made the both of them giggle as if they were far younger than whatever their documents said.

“You first.” Liara told them.

“I left another thing in the bigger cabinet in your cabin. Hope you don’t mind.”

“… You didn’t leave me that horrible trap, did you?”

“Hey. It may be the first motorbike I build, but Raffaella isn’t horrible! You’re hurting her feelings.”

“Raffaella?”

“Like Raffaella Carrà.”

“Of course.”

Shaking her head and now dreading to hang the call down, all previous doubts somewhat mitigating in her mind, Liara rose from the bed. The vinyl got back on the pillow, safe as it could be -it survived a float in open space, but it was old and it was long ingrained in her to treat old things with due respect. Knowing the personal history of it only made it more important to preserve.

“Nothing named after Raffaella Carrà can be horrible.”

“It was very insensitive of me to assume the opposite, please bear her my apologies.”

“It will be done.”

Max kept chatting, talking of how Raffaella Carrà had been a great Italian personality from the 1960s onward, and made it as icon for the LGBTQ+ community, collected a great deal of international successes and sang stuff you just couldn’t avoid singing and dancing, even if she wasn’t her favourite genre. As she spoke, as usual not minding much that there was no answer on the other side, Liara opened the wardrobe, half listening and half not. When she saw, she stopped listening altogether.

“Oh, Max…”

“I thought I’d spare you the trouble of collecting them all again. Beyond the Omega 4 could be quite the bother, even for the Shadow Broker.”

Finally tears came up to the Asari’s eyes.

“I’m-”

“If you say you’re not up to the role, T’Soni. Bruce Springsteen is a gift, but I’m only lending you the rest, ok?”

“Are you sure-”

“When this is over, I’m coming back for them.”

“Max, if you-”

“I’m coming back for them.”

They said it with such sureness and determination that Liara almost believed they would have. That passing through an abandoned relay counted as a normal Tuesday activity. A couple of tears fell on the black leather of the box.

“And well, if you could be with them too when I do…” And then they hesitated. “… Well, uh, I’d be happy, that’s it.”

Liara nodded as an answer, blinking tears away from her eyes. She felt quite stupid, both for being still unsure of them, and for not answering vocally to a call.

“I- Uh-”

“Damn, you are pathetic, Shepard.”

A groaning voice Liara knew interrupted, passing by with heavy steps.

“Oh, please, Garrus.” Max groaned, on the other side of the com.

“Your music made her cry. It’s decrepit and loud, of course she’s crying.”

“Reach and flexibility, Vakarian.” Max hissed, annoyed. “Reach and flexibility.”

“You won’t have either, if you have the tastes of and act like an octogenarian Krogan.”

“Boia, dè.”  Max scoffed in italian as per her usual. “First of all, Krogans live-”

It held such an amount of normality that Liara couldn’t find it in her to complain because what had to be a call of two now had a third person in it and it ended up in the other two bickering. She had almost forgot how homey it had become on the Normandy, before… Before.

She just held close to her chest the box with Max’s records, the records that were the only thing she got left of their family, the ones that held a memory each, and kept laughing through the tears.

When Max hang down, still assuring her that they would have been back before she knew it, Liara knew for certain that she did matter.

That assurance, over and over again, and those vinyls, felt more like a declaration of love than the first time they actually told her they loved her.

Half an hour later, she was back to work, assured Feron that she was fine.

And asked Glyph to play Born to Run.

---

2186 – Normandy SR-2

Everything was set in place.

It took them days to put the plan in motion. Day upon day of sneakily entering Liara’s room as she was outside of it - she needed to get out more, and the plan would have helped on that too, coincidentally. If Glyph hadn’t malfunctioned again and everything was going smoothly…

… Max had only to wait.

They sighed, sitting down in front of Raffaella the motorbike cross-legged. It wouldn’t have done waiting idly, so they may as well get some work done. Work on the bike had considerably slowed down since they had not access to Cerberus’ infinite  fundings anymore, and their petty crusade in spending them in the silliest possible ways was officially over.

The fuel tank was bothering her particularly: the gasket had something defective, and as much as Max tried to reshape the rubber, fix it with heat, tighten the tube, it kept leaking. Pouring water in the tank from a glass, now, produced the same result.

They huffed, displeased and frowning at the droplets trickling down the skeleton of the bike. A new gasket was needed, but with the Reapers attacking and Earth in that state… She had to salvage something else to serve the same function. Maybe ask Tali if she had an idea. Tali always had ideas.

In the meanwhile, since Max Shepard wasn’t entertaining a hobby to get bored by it, they decided on the engineering panacea. The solution for everything. The final answer to life, the universe and everything.

Duct tape.

A good roll of tape around the junction would do. Why spending more money on a new gasket when you have cheap, humble, extraordinary duct tape at your disposal?

There. All done. This time water didn’t leak.

Feeling very proud of themselves, Max looked around to see what was the next thing in line when-

A loud guitar riff started to blast from the interphone.

It stopped.

Max smiled wide, looking up at the speaker.

The same guitar riff started again, and it kept up for more time before stopping.

It started and stopped five times, and Max got back to work, humming alongside Angus Young’s guitar as it started again and again.

The sixth time, the song kept up, unstopped, and Max knew what would have come in some moments.

“Shepard, the crew is complaining.” EDI dialed in, sounding resigned. “Again.”

“Tell them I’m the Commander, and the Commander chooses the music.” Max answered, unbothered. “They should thank I have taste, Anderson liked disco.”

“Must the music in private cabins be dialed in the whole of the ship?”

“Not the one in everyone’s cabin. I’ll fix it, worry not, I just need to-”

“Shepard.”

Max looked up from the bike leaning to the side so she could see up the stairs to the door. Liara, still in her pajamas and with just a silken dressing gown not closed on, was glaring at her from the door, absolutely livid.

She was so beautiful when she was angry.

“Good morning, sunshine!” Max beamed, smiling brightly at her as if nothing had happened. “Did you sleep well?”

“Shepard, why are my cabinets playing music when I open them?”

“Oh it’s you?” Max asked, faking surprise. “Lucky, can we change cabin?”

“Max.”

“it’s such a great song.”

“Max, it’s playing in the corridors!”

“’Cause the walls start shaking, the Earth was quaking-” They sang, returning to work.

“And in your cabin and-” Liara stomped down the stairs to reach her.

“-My mind was aching-”

“Tell me you didn’t program my cabinets to play AC/DC in the whole ship whenever I open them.”

“-And we were making it and yooou-”

Max hopped back up on her feet and grabbed Liara’s hands, twirling her around and close to their body.

“-shook me aaaaaall night long!”

“I’m serious, Maxine!”

“Oh, me too! Yeah yooou shook me aaaall night long-”

Their full name was a low hit, but who cared now? They had the Asari they loved in her hands, finally free to see her without permits and documents and whatever after six months of home arrest, commanding their ship, free from Cerberus, with a crew they could choose and yet another suicidal, galaxy-saving, impossible mission to accomplish.

Everything was grim and dark, but Liara was not, Liara was there, their records were back in her bedside table, and at the possible end of the galaxy, Max Shepard could take a breather and concentrate on the good in life.

They knew perfectly well that the anger of the Asari would not have lasted so long. And indeed, it lasted only to the end of a very badly sung chorus before she sighed deeply, shook her head and stopped resisting Max’s attempt at dancing to join her in.

“I’ll fix the cabinets back, I promise.” Max told her, leaning forward to catch Liara’s lips in a kiss.

“You’d better.”

“But it is a great song, isn’t it?”

“I love it.”

Liara kissed again, and for three minutes, everything was good and the music was nice. Her grandma was right, when she said Max had been named after Maxine Sullivan in one particular song. It was later than everyone thought, and since it was, they all may enjoy themselves when they still had time.

[memekeymouse]

Do you think Mickey and Minnie trust enough Oswald and Ortensia enough to reveal that they're married?

Loudly cracks my knuckles

Oh boy. Oh buddy. Let me tell you about the trust issues going on with these four in the toon meta.

First you have Oswald. Obviously he has no love for Mickey at first, blaming him for stealing his fame away. Obviously, he doesn’t actually know Mickey (how could he when they’ve never even talked to each other???) but he’s convinced he’s a spoiled, pretentious asshole who’s putting up a show at all times. Again, fame and attention are everything for Toons, so Mickey ‘stealing’ Oswald’s fame is a pretty big deal. He also has no love for Minnie, seeing her as Ortensia’s replacement which he doesn’t appreciate either.

Ortensia, on the other hand, doesn’t hate Mickey or Minnie. In fact, she feels sorry for them; she knows how terrible it must be to be another Toon’s replacement - she replaced Fanny, after all. And it wasn’t something she ever asked for or felt proud of, so she can imagine they would feel the same way about replacing them if they knew. She can’t really blame Oswald for being bitter about being replaced, but she doesn’t approve of him putting all the blame on the mice either.

Minnie…oh, there is so much with Minnie I wanna talk about. To me, she’s always had the fear of being replaced and forgotten as if she never mattered in the first place - since that’s the fate of most Love Interests. This fear actually put a lot of strain between her and Mickey before they got actually together in their early years, but even after it became obvious that she’d become too iconic to be replaced, that fear never went away. And meeting Oswald and Ortensia? Finding out that she and Mickey had replaced them only brings all those fears back like a punch to the gut. She’s terrified of them, at first; she fears they’ll take their places back and leave them to be forgotten, and what can she do if that’s technically the fair thing to do? She feels selfish for it but…no Toon wants to be forgotten.

And Mickey.

Oh, Mickey.

When he found out about Oswald, he felt so many things and had so many questions. In the end, he assumed that clearly something had kept Walt from claiming him back all these years, because otherwise he would’ve done anything to win him back, right? It’s Mickey’s idea for him and Minnie to meet Oswald and Ortensia and talk things out, see how they can get them back in Disney where they belong (he knows about Minnie’s fear and tells her she doesn’t have to come, but she insists anyways. He doesn’t blame her, because he’s upset about replacing Oswald too but at the same time he just really wants his brother to come home and that hope is stronger than the fear).

It’s. A disaster.

Oswald thinks Mickey is just rubbing his fame in his face and patronizing him, so he’s openly hostile to him. And then he tells him the devastating truth: even if Walt did lose Oswald to Mintz, he gave up on him altogether once Mickey proved his worth. And that’s a thing that happened in real life: Mintz tried to get Walt back into Universal by promising him Oswald, and Walt not only refused but said Oswald ‘disgusted’ him and that Mintz could keep him for all he cared.

And that

absolutely crushes Mickey and Minnie

Remember what I might’ve mentioned before about Mickey seeing Walt as a father figure at one point and then stopping? This was that point. Realizing that, if things had gone differently, Walt could’ve replaced them as easily as he did Oswald and Ortensia. That they weren’t family or even friends: Walt was the boss and Mickey was the Toon that brought him money and fame and that was it. It was all strictly business.

They don’t speak for years after that, not until Disney actually gets Oswald back. Obviously no progress was made between those years so being back in Disney doesn’t magically fix everything between them; long story short, Oswald still blames Mickey for stealing his fame and Mickey, guilty as he may feel, is fed up with trying to meet Oswald halfway when he won’t even try and do the same. Of constantly being judged by people who don’t even want to know him, brother or not.

They do eventually sit and talk things out but….it’s awful at first. Oswald hates Mickey and Mickey resents Oswald and Minnie wants to strangle Oswald and Ortensia is so so tired and everyone is miserable!!!!

Soooooooooo to answer the question this whole ask was originally about……no, the mice don’t trust Oswald and Ortensia with that knowledge until they sort things out muuuuuuuuch later

[roguetelepaths]

sparrow roguetelepaths — ey/em or they/them - read my DS9 postcanon fic where Odo adopts a Vorta daughter

used to be enbygesserit, follows from helplessnessxblues

old enough to remember when neopets breakfast cereal was a thing

aroace to a terrifying degree. not the cool kind that writes smut and passes out water bottles at the orgy, either. sorry

intersex (nCAH) (diagnosed professionally at 15) and currently working through medical trauma and neglect related to that

no gender we die like [tv static]

psychospiritually nonhuman, but I don't talk about it here — DM me if you want to know where I do

vaguely anarchist & emphatically against all forms of punishment as foundations for interpersonal relationships

on bluesky! @justiceforlyta.bsky.social

I also have a more serious™ blog off of tumblr, you can find it here

psychiatric survivor and ex-patient. madpunk, psychpunk, neurodivergent in the original radical anti-pathologization meaning of the term. the social model isn't ableist you guys are just willfully misinterpreting it

on team "believe others about their subjective experiences". yes, this includes that subjective experience you're about to send me anon hate telling me is absolutely just kids roleplaying for attention. wishing medicalists of all kinds a very merry go fuck yourselves. yes this includes sysmeds, what part of believe others about their subjective experiences don't you understand

my stance on proship/anti discourse can be summed up as "fiction may not literally be reality but it also can't be separated from the context of reality and it's good to foster an environment where that context can be openly talked about" and "freedom of fiction doesn't really exist without freedom of response" and "dislike and disgust are not indicators of morality but they also shouldn't be ignored or repressed, especially since they can teach you useful things about yourself" and "criticize ideas and works, not people" — some people call this neutralship but I've been known to describe myself as a pro-disliker or a pro-critic. that being said if I see you shipping weyoun and odo in a romantic/sexual way I will block you so hard and fast that your ancestors will feel it. same goes with snowbaird. I am a tolerant person but I do not want those things in my space

other important stances: occupied peoples have the right to armed resistance. the pandemic never ended, we just all stopped talking about it.

update to unreality tag policy: I will be tagging things that usually get tagged as unreality as #surrealism going forward. this is a compromise to respect both my personal belief in the multilayered nature of reality and the needs of vulnerable people to be protected from content that doesn't align with shared reality. please block #surrealism if you have #unreality blocked.

fandoms you can expect to see (I care about themes and analysis over shipping, and when I do ship, it's always an extension of the themes I want to explore, so be prepared for me to be a pretentious piece of shit about all of these):

DS9 (especially the Dominion) (I have a discord server for this)

Babylon 5 (mostly telepaths but not exclusively. NOT a psi corps apologist in any way, just a season 5 telepath commune arc liker, which is almost as bad to some)

Dune

Severance

The Hunger Games & related media

Cult of the Lamb

non-media interests (may or may not post about these, honestly, it's anyone's guess, but feel free to tag me in these):

fucked up unethical pseudoscientific social experiments, the more fucked up unethical and pseudoscientific the better

relationship anarchy

aroace, trans, and intersex issues

disability rights, psychiatry criticism, and cognitive liberty

community building

apartment solarpunk

Scouting and related youth organizations

worldbuilding and writing advice

Heathenry and Norse mythology (though that's more likely to go on @heathen-starspawn)

[ikamigami]

When solarmoon ship began spreading more, TS and DCTCB spreaded the narrative: "Solar does everything Moon says because he loves him and trying to court him" and they were /srs about it. And me, as a solarmoon shipper that has a small blog barely being noticed, it irritates me that they simplified their relationship as just that when it's more complicated as you said. I want to bite and tear their heads off. And it's so pretentious of them to say that they are the "pioneers" of the ship when I've seen people openly and publicly ship solarmoon even BEFORE those two revealed that they have been shipping them since new Moon and Solar met. I have seen their takes on the show before, when I was still following them, and honestly, those two have always reeked of pretentiousness and feeling like they're above other fans of the shows. I stopped following them when I found out about what they did to you and saw how snarky they are when they reply to other people's analysis or headcanons.

First of all, I need to thank you, dear anon for confessing this to me ^^

I'm touched to see that people agree that it wasn't okay for those two to treat me like that, I really appreciate every single one person who send me support and I appreciate people like you 💗

I'm sorry if I sounded rude about solarmoon ship or shippers. I appreciate your message even more knowing that you're one of solarmoon shippers. It means a lot to me that you found my analysis to resonate with you and I'm very happy to see that there are solarmoon shippers who see the complexity and nuance of their relationship ^^

Those two really come off as pretentious and like they're above other fans. It's disheartening mainly because they have a big following so many people just agree with whatever they say without giving it a second thought. And what's more sad is that probably some of their followers imitate their behaviour because they think that it's allowed to act like that if these two bigger names are like that.

I know that I can get rude when I'm getting heated about something and I don't like being like that. I have short temper and I need to work hard to not let it get better of me. I often feel awful because of this bad trait of mine. And when I see that someone tells me that I'm a nice person, I really appreciate it cause it's mean a lot cause it means that there are people who think that I'm a nice person and not a disturbing obsessed weirdo.

But enough about me. I wish you all the best. I wish you bigger following and more recognition to your blog. Hope that solarmoon shippers like you will be more noticed and appreciated in this fandom ^^

You all are so very kind and nice people. I can't get enough of you. I appreciate all of you. Thank you and also have a nice day or night ^^🫶

[altocat]

Why ship Sephiroth and Genesis? They're rivals, and Genesis was a huge dick to him in Nibelheim.

Genesis as he exists in CC is, well, kind of flawed. I think the reason he polarized the fandom so much was his pretentiousness, as well as what a generally shitty friend he is, especially to Sephiroth.

So I sought to change that in what I hope entails actually fleshing him out. Why does he feel the need to compete with Sephiroth? His journal clearly showed that Seph was his hero. There's obviously a lot of history between them, especially if Sephiroth was consistently that reluctant to confront him. There's a ton of jealousy, a ton of bitterness, and a ton of unspoken conflict between them.

So why?

What if Genesis is so desperate to be Sephiroth's equal because he WANTS his hero's aknowledgement? What if the crux of his whole hero mindset is because he WANTS to be the same as Sephiroth? Sephiroth is unattainable, a champion among men, beyond everything and everyone. So what if it turns out that Genesis not only wants to prove to the world that he's just as capable of being a hero on Sephiroth's level, but to also prove himself WORTHY of Sephiroth's affection?

All his life, he's come in second place. His parents only ever fed into his insecurities, and his physical frailty always put him at odds with the poems he read as a child. Then he finds out about Sephiroth --almighty, all-conquering. Flawless. The hero of his stories, of his dreams. That's what he believes in. That's what motivates him to become something more than a rich man's son. Getting close to Sephiroth will validate him. Getting close to Sephiroth is everything.

As for Sephiroth, this is new territory. A friend. Someone he believes to be a trustworthy interpersonal investment, AND someone who has the drive to actually keep up with him! Genesis isn't afraid of challenging him, not mewling and fawning over him, but really working to get on his level. What's more, Genesis' arrogance is just so...novel. He's never seen someone so brave with so much ego. He's never been interested in personal glory and yet here Genesis is working for it at all costs. And Sephiroth WANTS him to try. He WANTS the competition. He genuinely respects Genesis and wants him to succeed.

On top of that, he's always felt different, isolated. Here's someone who goes out of their way to integrate him, but also a tangible connection that he can relate to. Someone who pulls him out of his shell, engages him, isn't interested in studying him like a lab specimen. He's never had someone to be close with like this. He doesn't want to lose it. Not ever.

Together, they're fire and ice, polar opposites from opposite lifestyles who can go one minute being the most dearest of companions, and at each other's throats the next. It's a complete whirlwind, with both idiots completely failing to openly express just how incredibly important they are to each other.

Which brings me to the doomed lovers angle I like writing with them. Their lack of communication and internal insecurities are bad enough, but Shinra's meddling only continues to fuel their rivalry and pit them against each other. Despite the fact that both admire each other so strongly and probably could have come to the conclusion that they would have always been worthy in each other's eyes. But no. Shinra has to keep pushing and pushing and then it all comes tumbling down.

And in the end, Genesis ends up alone, full of regrets, finally realizing that he'd always had what he was looking for. His "gift of the goddess" was always there. Sephiroth, conversely, renounces everything that remotely resembles human attachments and no longer even REMEMBERS Genesis. They broke each other, one way or another. And had their circumstances been different, if they'd actually talked to each other, if they'd just given a little nudge, they could have shared the Banora Whites. They could have been happy.

So yeah. That's basically me rambling and spitballing them lol. I just think they're neat and have a potentially interesting dynamic if fleshed out. Plus it gives them both a bit more tragedy overall, at least I hope so.

[somethingshifted]

as i wrote, this became longer and longer, so i'm sticking it under a readmore to save your dash, i'm just waffling about the plot

as someone who feels like the band taking their own plot too seriously with plastic beach pushed the writing into a box ever since then, i still find myself wanting to connect each phase to each other. like surely there was an underlying point to be made between murdoc painting the plastic beach pink and the last cult's main color being pink. why is russel struggling again after they've set up shop in LA, his birth country but the other corner, in what i consider tumultuous times that in the end has Del return (even if unacknowledged). but then i kind of shrug my shoulders as canon is still a hodgepodge of 100 things marching in a circle. it's still easily entertainable in my head and i can't help but pick out tidbits i thought have meaning, and re-arrange them in my head like a dollhouse. i may actually dislike it if they did try to connect the two album phases officially and go down a serious route again but PB existing just makes those connections in my head. a fan interpretation is always fine but i think it's best left to the fans. that sounds haughty to say but, for the band to stay a band, i prefer it that way.

so whats the point of this post. the thing is, i'd genuinely be satisfied if gorillaz continued not taking their own plot so seriously, with the disclaimer that i do wish they'd be steadfast with characterization. like it'd be nice if any of them actually held commentary on cults practices considering theyre usually open about their view on world events, but i think enough griping about CI promo material is out there i have nothing new to say other than falling back to CI being a spur of the moment album with a release schedule out of the creators control plus the shitty fact that russel & noodle have been kind of nothing for almost 10 yrs OOPS. they could explore more avenues if they were freed from having to address past events as if they're characters in a storybook and not symbols that change with the times. and maybe if they remembered they can give characters new traits as russel's done things like pick up taxidermy and cooking but only one is referenced for several albums as his sole trait and *zips my lips*

i really feel like a bitch for wanting to harp on the lost chord as it's a beautiful, beautiful song outside of the characters, and additionally i'm a sucker for moments murdoc is faced with how he used to act, but i don't think i'd ever take it as part of a linear plot? which is why i can't fully feel like he's gone back on his word being a cunt to 2D again and falling back into the grandeur lifestyle and all that with the cult stuff.. like, let me wear my pretentious hat for a second but the lockdowns leading people to reminisce about so many things so openly and retreading memories in lieu of making new ones due to being cooped up, resonates more with my feels on the last chord, rather than uh blowing the island up and such and using portals. see, Song Machine can be written around easier bc you can say they're filming the MVs and they're metaphors, even the art reflects this (i didnt listen to the podcasts yet). but then it references the events of PB so openly that you can't just go "well thats the fake MV they shot" and that, incongruence, is hard for me. so was it refreshing to have CI not walk in circles of Murdoc is trying to say sorry guys? yes? i don't know what redemption would do for his character, as the topic of abuse and trauma (when explored with tact) is pretty important to me story wise honestly, but it's kind of... getting repetitive at some points. or maybe too much focus on murdoc 'redeeming' himself at the cost of 2D having traits stripped away and noodle & russ being silent. i don't want the events of plastic beach to be erased from both his and the band's history. having him be the villain of the plot du album is also meh, which is why i can appreciate the less serious canon on him where recent writing is concerned. 2018 is like yesterday to me and they (writers) were still poking fun at murdoc being not only assaulted in prison but also being in the psychiatric ward of prison. like what was that all about, i really really prefer peepaw livestreaming for attention to them taking harrowing events and making them the butt of a joke. i feel like it was handled better in pirate radio even if that itself wasn't meant to be all doom and gloom. it just made more sense. and theresssss my problemmmmm

all that being said i will always adore plastic beach. some of the plot heavy things contain my favorite moments and i'm easily baited with nostalgia so this isn't a bashing post at all... just looking back and wondering if the written material is best when they're dropping tidbits and leave it for fans to imagine up scenarios, rather than adhere to a canon timeline all the time. it's so hard to sum up my feelings on this and stay in perspective of the band because my genuine feeling is that i actually love a lot of the murdoc storylines and i can't reconcile that with feeling put off that it requires believing some MVs and story beats are "real". because i'm shaking the gorillaz dollhouse regardless. and writing angst in my head revolving around how recovery isn't a straight line. and how tbh russel's journey is a direct foil to murdoc's. because all the ingredients are there

like read that and call me a hypocrite, i am! i just have a lot of thoughts. i think if i knew how to write fanfic i'd just shut up and do that but my dialogue writing skills make me uncomfortable due to not being BRITISH.

TL;DR, i'd be satisfied if plot being canonically recognized wasn't a drawback on the band because they honestly suffer when they do fall back on addressing the timeline and treating the characters as Vessels who Had Someting Happen To Them rather than whatever symbol for the current topic of the album. i do think the current writing gets repetitive and sanded down. at the same time i will always encourage fan interpretations regardless because i find those very fun. in being non linear it opens their world up to diff. perspectives. and i #support peepaw listening to weyes blood

[butmakeitgayblog]

I’d like to know how Clarke and Lexa start talking at Gus’, how does it go from Clarke being disinterested in anything having to do with Lexa Dorkus Woods to Lexa helping Clarke study? And from that to just basically hanging out?

Honestly it just starts by accident.

After that initial run in with Lexa at Gus's where she basically made Clarke feel like an idiot for being so pretentious (and technically rude, but Clarke chooses not to think of it that way 😤) about coffee in the quaint little shop, and then the fucking debacle at the gay bar that followed, Clarke kind of has a very annoying itch to go back and set things right.

Not as in to apologize for either run-in.

No, she wants to go in there and set the record straight that she is Not some privileged big city twat. That actually,,,, Lexa was the rude one, if you really think about it, because she didn't even know Clarke like that. And also, like, ok, her point still stands. Who the hell doesn't have an espresso machine in a bookstore/bakery shop?!

Basically Lexa had gotten under her skin and Clarke really fuckin hated how she couldn't seem to shake it. So, bright and early a few days later after her initial bruised ego had quit smarting quite so much Clarke marches herself back across town and all but slams her way into the shop.

Which is... anticlimacticly empty.

So much for a grand entrance.

Instead she's left standing at the counter for a good 5 minutes, working really hard to keep up the head of steam she had created on the walk over. Eventually she just starts to wander around the place, realizing pretty quickly that in her 18 years of life she'd never taken the time to actually do that. Had always just blown throw the place with her rag-tag group of friends in tow whenever they'd scrounged up enough money to buy a few treats, before blowing right back out again.

She runs her fingers over the extensive collection of arts and science books. Kinda marvels at the fact that such a relatively small space could house such a wide and meandering selection. She sees titles that range from the antiquities to the turn of modern art, and honestly nothing about any of these scream out titles Old Man Woods would have chosen to line his shelf.

She's not really paying much attention to what she's doing. More engrossed in just being nosy and trying to see what other treasures this funky little place has when she opens a door she assumes goes to another selection, but instead finds herself standing on the shop's back porch...

... With a set of round green eyes staring right at her.

"Uhh," is her extremely intelligent response. Because every last word of her well rehearsed tirade flies out of her head at the site of prim and proper Miss. Perfect Lexa sitting on a glider, smoking a cigarette.

"If you were looking for the bathroom, turn around and take a left."

Head still completely due to the fact that she's fairly certain she's stepped into the goddamn Twilight Zone for the second time in one week, Clarke lets her eyes follow the path of the glowing tip as Lexa brings the cigarette up and takes another drag.

"Those will kill you, ya know," is really all her short circuiting brain can manage.

Lexa snorts out a laugh without any hint of a smile through an exhaled cloud of smoke.

"Now that would be ironic."

It feels like Lexa's making fun of her. Like she in on some joke that Clarke is just too stupid to possibly ever get. And, oh right, that actually reminds her, she'd come here for a reason.

But... trying to refind that same righteous indignation is so much easier said than done. Really just finds herself frowning. Because, yet again, it's occurring to her that while she'd thought she'd known this girl to a T, it's becoming obvious she knows nothing. Which wouldn't bother her that much... except she'd spent the better part of her life convinced that she did. But putting that image up against this new vibrant one of an openly gay women who drank and smoked cigarettes?

Suddenly nothing about this girl made any sense.

It takes Lexa snapping her fingers a few times to get her attention which is fuuuucking humiliating.

"What?" she practically bites back because how is she constantly on her back foot with this girl?

But all Lexa does is tip her head to the side like a puppy. Considers her with those searching, soulful eyes for a moment before speaking.

"I asked if I you where here for a coffee or something," Lexa says, using the hand still holding the half-burned cigarette to motion to the porch around her. "Though, I have to warn you. We don't keep a secret cappuccino machine stashed back here either."

Little shit...

Clarke rolls her eyes. "Very funny. And yes, I was. Or. I am. But there wasn't anyone —"

Why the fuck does she make Clarke feel so jumbled and undone...

"Right, of course," Lexa cuts her off in a flourish, snuffing out the cigarette on the bottom of her shoe and popping the butt back into the pack. She's up and out of her seat before Clarke can really even finish the entire thought. "Black, no sugar, two pumps of creamer, right?"

"Uh. Yeah," is the only thought Clarke can dumbly string together at her surprise that Lexa would even remember.

The next thought has her eyes staying glued to the red and white pack still in her grasp.

Call it an instinct after having been raised by a doctor for the first 18 years of her life. Call it a petty and childish need to shock this girl just to get even. Call it payback for constantly managing to make her feel so off balance and seeing an opportunity for revenge. Whatever it is that fuels her next movements, Clarke doesn't really bother to think about it as she stops her with an innocent, "Can I see those real quick?" and reaches out the second Lexa moves to step past her to snatch the pack right out of her hand.

Clarke feels victorious in the moment when she can't get more than a garbled yelp of "Hey," out before they're both watching the pack fly in a wide arc through the air and land scattered across the alley about four businesses down.

Lexa looks back at her with wide-eyed shock.

Clarke just shrugs and gives her a grin.

"They slipped."

Lexa is not amused.

But strangely doesn't argue.

She just storms back inside and goes about making up Clarke's order, pointedly putting it down on the counter in front of her in a To Go cup.

Naturally, Clarke decides that's actually an invitation for her to kick back and stay awhile. And that the stoney silence that settles between them for the rest of the morning means she really must come back the next day as well 😈

One day turns into two. Two turns into three, and before Clarke knows what's happening, she's been to the little book shop every single day that week.

But she never catches Lexa with a cigarette again...

[duncan-rohanne]

so ‘the invisble life of addie larue’ is a book, alright. i wanted a single, non-series, book for my vacation but since i’m sick, i binged this monster in day and a half. and...  i understand why booktok and booktubers love this, the writing style is pretentious as fuck, it’s like, i know the author is dark academia girl, i don’t need to google her, i know she is. on the other hand i don’t mind, it’s a vibe, i think this book is meant to be enjoyed in the autumn evening, somewhere cozy with hot cocoa. unfortunately, it’s almost summer and i’m on cough drops.

this is my review, with spoilers. buckle up. i went off.

three main character. addie, miss main girl. henry, “the boy” and luc aka lucifer. the devil.

i very much appreciate luc. he is a straight up cunt. no darkling-like motives to even delude himself that he tries to do good, no no, he is just a freak. which is great, i like him and i hate him. but as everything in this book, he lacks depth. with him, i could forgive it for the sake of mystery. addie is fine, i like her with henry but she is fine. problem i have with her that she lacks agency, she has no goals, no plans until the very last page. yes, she is an invisible girl but damn it girl, do something, be something, anything! henry tho... yes, hello, it is me, who when she sees self destructive boy, i’m like ‘yes! that one!’ his pov is by far the most interesting one but

i hate the fact his addiction and depression are treated like something that can be fixed by love. which is crazy because it is said that it can’t be, he is literally suicidal because of his ex-girlfriend, he makes deal with the devil just “to be loved,” cue 200 pages later, he is fine because he experienced “love.” (yes, the quotation marks are there for a reason, hold up.) i don’t even think this was intentional by the author but i had that feeling and i did not like it. point is, henry strauss didn’t need addie. he needed a therapist. which he didn’t get and as far as i remember no one even suggested it.

speaking of addie, she is a human who no longer feels like human, who craves human connection and in the end she is like eh, it’s fine. this was nice 12 months break in my 300 years of living. and that’s fine but i feel like we should’ve leaned into it more? where is some introspection? where is some soul searching? anything addie, give me anything, don’t be just standing emoji! you are main character ffs!

i already lost my shit over the generic love triangle. which is and isn’t true, it’s painted as a love triangle but no one is actually in love. luc doesn’t know what love even is. addie just wants to be seen and not be alone and henry is in the middle of depressive episode. and yet, it’s all painted as dark and sexy (luc/addie) and fluffy (henry/addie) and again - that would be fine, if addie and henry weren’t openly bi and luc immortal god. i’m sorry, why are we doing this? what is the reason??? i’m bi (myself) and i love representation as much as anyone else, and i am also a big fan of bi/pan people portrayed in straight relationships because that’s just how it usually ends up but it doesn’t erase the sexuality itself, so when i tell you there is absolutely no reason whatsofucking ever to write this “love” triangle as m/f/m relationship, i mean it. why is henry not a woman is beyond me. why is not luc’s and henry’s relationship explored at all is beyond me too.

i haven’t mentioned the side characters yet because honestly, just like with the main trio, there is not much to say. bea is best friend lesbian. she is nice. great. robbie is ex-boyfriend. he is cool. great. muriel is weird younger sister. awesome. addie met some one night stands that i forgot as fast as they did forget her. (there is a cat named Book, which is probably the best thing about this.... book)

i am actually really angry because this piece of literature had potential. it didn’t even need to deliver on all fronts, just one would be enough. i could ignore the weakass plot for deep and interesting characters. i could ignore the underdeveloped characters for the chemistry they have with each other. i could ignore the lack of it for exploration of darker themes. i could ignore the darker themes failing for representation of queer relationships. this book has all of that but it’s all just hinted. it’s a tea spoon of this and pinch of that - you are not making mojito out of this, honey!

here is the thing, i can actually recommend this book. yes, after i totally destroyed it in six paragraphs. this is a book that is meant to give you a vibe, immortal love story with dark stranger vs human love with antique bookstore owner. (my eyes rolled back so hard just writing this line.) if you want just that and cozy up by the fireplace when leafs starts to fall down, it’s perfect. go for it. you will probably love it. i knew going into this that this isn’t the book for me. i am way too cynical, way too critical and beyond fed up with enemies to lovers bad boy/good girl relationships. so all of this is just a rant of someone after reading the thing they never like.

5/10 if you are me. 8/10 if you are probably anyone else.

[thefamilybruno]

The Prince and the Peasant - Chapter 5 - Hunger

Summary:

Adam Alexandre Alsace du Maurier lives in a shining castle in France’s countryside. When an old beggar woman comes to Adam’s castle seeking shelter from a winter storm, he turns her away, cold and indifferent to her suffering. After she transforms into a beautiful Enchantress, she strips away Adam’s title and wealth, cursing him to live as a peasant with the hope that he will learn the value of community and kindness.

In a daze, Adam wanders through the woods, the memory of his encounter with the magical woman cloudy and fragmented. When Adam stumbles into a nearby tavern, Gaston Legume, a respected member of the community, offers to take Adam into his home, both to uphold his stellar reputation and to impress the woman he wants to marry.

Life in the village proves to be more difficult than Adam had expected and having a supposed nobleman as a roommate stretches Gaston’s patience to its limits. Through many conflicts and arguments, Gaston and Adam's relationship transforms, first into friendship, and then into something more.

But one night, a shimmering rose blossoms to life in Adam’s mind, and as winter turns to spring, its petals begin to fall, leading Adam to wonder: what will happen once it wilts?

Tags (sampling): Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Idiots in Love, Cuddling, Fluff, Happy Ending, Falling in Love, Banter

Rating: E

click below for excerpt

“How big is it?” Paulette asked, her question eliciting a burst of laughter from her sister. “Oh, stop that! I’m talking about the castle!”

Adam couldn’t help but laugh too. When was the last time he had heard someone openly jest about something so scandalous? His master of dining, Lumiere, had a tendency to make those kinds of jokes, but certainly not in Adam’s presence. No one really made any jokes in his presence. Not anymore. Over the years, Adam’s worst traits - his callousness, his temper, his pretentious attitude - had erected a wall between him and his staff, rendering any sort of familiarity impossible. But he hadn’t managed to erect such a wall between himself and the townsfolk yet. He wondered what it would be like to let himself relax with them. Joke with them a little. Like he had with Gaston the previous evening.

“Everything is large,” he said with a little wry smile. "Everything.”

Claudette and Paulette gasped in unison, though from their smiles, it was obvious to Adam that they were only trying to act scandalized because it was more fun that way, and then they both howled with laughter. 

Their laughter rang in Adam’s ears. It reminded him of his childhood, back when he had friends. Making these two women laugh, it felt so unexpectedly nice.

“Have you really been to Paris?” Claudette asked.

“I lived there for most of my life. I only moved to the castle when I was seventeen.”

Claudette touched his arm. “What’s the city like?”

“It’s nice. I’d like to live there again someday. There’s a lot more someone can do with their leisure time. Theaters, salons, parties. Even strolling through the city is fun.”

“Sounds magical,” Paulette cooed, looking at him with her big doe-eyes.

Over the next few minutes, the sisters asked alternating questions about Paris and life at the castle. Their unbroken and spontaneous attention had awakened a hunger - one that craved things like closeness and playfulness and intimacy. Life in the castle was lonely. It had always been lonely. But he had tried so hard to keep himself from seeing it.

When Claudette and Paulette laughed at another one of his jokes, he felt the emptiness inside him grow, and he knew, then, that he wasn’t just hungry - he was starving. 

He heard Gaston’s big, baritone voice from behind him.

“What’s so funny?” 

“Adam is!” Claudette said cheerfully.

“My story wasn’t entertaining enough for you?” Gaston asked.

Even though Gaston was trying to sound nonchalant about it, Adam could tell that he was actually upset that someone had stolen even a minuscule amount of attention away from him.

The remaining sister, whose name Adam didn’t yet know, grabbed hold of Gaston’s arm and curled her body close to his.

“I didn’t miss a word of your story, Gaston,” she said. “It was so exciting.”

“We love your stories!” Paulette insisted, at first glaring angrily at her sister and then looking at Gaston with pouty lips. “But how often do we have a chance to talk with an actual nobleman?”

“Well, I hope it was worth missing the ending to my encounter with the wolf. It’s a gripping story. One with a magnificent ending,” Gaston crowed, wrapping his arm around the triplet who had still been pressed up against him. “Isn’t it, Laurette?”

“Very.”

He smiled a wolfish smile. “Maybe the two of us could-”

“Don’t leave us out,” Paulette pleaded, hopping off of her stool. “We were only trying to be friendly.”

“You can’t blame us for feeling sorry for him, can you?” Claudette asked. “He looked so lonely over here all by himself.”

Gaston looked back and forth between the now-desperate-looking sisters, humming aloud while simultaneously stroking his chin in an exaggerated manner, clearly trying to impart the impression that he was considering whether or not he wanted to exclude them from whatever activity he was planning to suggest. Gaston’s attempt at manipulation - his likely-to-be-successful attempt at manipulation - made Adam’s blood boil. That brute had the adoration of nearly everyone in the village. And he still clamored for more. Adam’s stomach muscles tensed to brace against the fast-rising anger, but it was no use. He picked up his empty glass and hurled it against the wall, causing it to shatter.

[bean-in-dice]

Journey to Love Thoughts

Ep 1

1. That's some pretty nice camera work. Knows exactly where to put emphasis on and stylistically so but not overdo it and rely overly on slo mo (ahem like in MJTY. This is NOT a hate on MJTY btw, don't come after me lol). The lighting and coloring isn't exactly complimentary to the level of camera work (I liked the cinematography in League of Nobleman) in my opinion but it's quite good comparer to most costumes dramas.

2. Ooh Dou Cheng from The Lost Tomb! Hii

3. Music is already very beautiful. Just first 10 mins and there's a track inspired by actual historical Chinese tunes?? Wow I hope they release the full version soon.

4. 1. Wow I really like the Spy girl group. This is exactly what I wanted MJTY Spies to be. It's such a pity to have a badass female assassin to go all "Oh no I don't really mean to be bad, I have this tragic backstory and I'm trapped here, romance will save me!" Like girl sure, you can be a good person but you still need to have a convincing performance if you want to function in your ranks and also your character needs to show the results of your cutthroat upbringing. The only thing worse than that is when fans excuse this as "but that's because censorship and there cannot be any openly ruthless main leads" and I'm like ????? No? That's just wimpy writing?

4. 2. The setup and characters are convincing. They aren't pretentiously mysterious but with 50% amount SLAY and 50% rational. The costumes, world building... all sound legit even if this is not a real historical drama. Way too many period dramas use "but it's imaginary!" excuse to write absolutely over the top and ridiculous universes (This was the problem I felt about Kunning Palace from as early on as first 15 mins, and from what I hear it got worse?)

5. Chen Duling hi again girl you are going to occupy a place in "Most Watched Actresses of The Year" category in my Mydramalist 2023 wrapped for sure😂

Also your neck looks hella weighed down by that updo, you are holding it so stiff.

And hiii cat boy from Reset!

6. The info dumping is not done in an in-your-face way, nor are information deliberately hidden. The story gives you hints and maximizes visual storytelling and spell things out *just* enough. That's very respectful to the audience's intelligence.

Liudao Hall- Detective Organization

-Three Virtue Paths (Calvaries)-

Heaven path: In charge of Royal security

Human path: Monitors the officials

Asura path: Works on prostitution (uhh I think what they mean is like not observing from the "outside" like the prev two but the detectives in disguise placed among the entertainers?) Very cool that they are not prudes and this path is among the Virtue paths😌

-Three Evil Paths (Scouts)-

Hungry Ghost Path: Trap masters

Animal Path: Spies (Uh what, Isn't that more or less the same as Virtue path?)

Hell Path: Assassins Intellect gathering from Prisons aka good stuff like torture

(I still have SO many questions but thanks for the exposition fairy)

7. The pacing is very good and even. There was never a boring moment, I haven't seen something NOT in 2x for so long.

[lemony-snickers]

You write grief in such a poetic yet meaningful way that truly moves me to near tears. I can’t believe that the most mean meaningful, layered and tumultuous portrayal I’ve seen is from a fan fiction (not an insult, just very surprising through this form). There’s a depth to your helping hands series that feels really advanced and I just wanted you to know that’s it’s definitely noticed and appreciated. Thank you for sharing your works with us!

i am going to say something that will sound soooo dumb & pretentious, but exploring grief is pretty much the number one recurring theme in all of my writing.

i don't mean fanfic so much, but the "other stuff" i write. i have two full-length screenplays that are literally just this. how do we deal with loss, how do we move forward? what does it mean to let go? how can that be an act of love?

i think love, hope, and grief are pretty much the three most universal human emotions; everyone experiences these things. and i think grief is also the feeling among them we don't talk about as often or openly as we should, so any opportunity to peel back the layers and examine it, i am enthusiastic to take.

so, tldr (sorry); i think bringing that into helping hands made sense given the premise of the fic--two terribly broken individuals learning to help one another put the pieces back together.

it's a story you've seen before, one you will see again, because it is so universal. one of those tropes i can personally never get enough of, ahaha. thanks for reading, anon. it means a lot. <3

[fragiledewdrop]

BOOKS!!!!

Something really cool happened to me today (cool by my standards, that is, which might mean not cool at all. You decide.)

I have been cooped up in my house for a while, studying and daydreaming and letting dirty dishes pile up in the sink since my rommate is not currently here to see them. I needed to get some fresh air, and, quite literally, touch grass. This morning I got up early to go study on the meadow of a nearby medieval church, like one does when one lives in an Italian medieval city.

I stopped to have breakfast, and, while eating, I was reading Rimbaud, because I have a French exam in two weeks and I wanted to practice, and also because I was in the mood. Here, have a pretentious, pseudo-intellectual, hedonistic picture:

(The cappuccino was soooo foamy. I loved it)

Anyway, I finished eating and I went on my way, but I didn’t put the book in my backpack. I was juggling it alongside my keys, cellphone and card holder, when I heard a voice say :“Do you read French?”, which, you know, fair assumption, given the neon orange cover that was apparently advertizing “Rimbaud” to everyone around me.

So I turned and I saw a desk full of second hand books. I told the man selling them that yes, I do indeed read French, sort of defensively implying “I am not in the habit of carrying foreign poetry around just as a prop to seem smart”. He smiled at me, beckoned me closer, and proceded to show me about 15 very old French books. He didn’t even know what most of them were about, because he couldn’t understand all of the titles. I spent a few minutes telling him that one was a study on the figure of Saint Francis in Medieval literature (oookaay, colour me intrigued) and another was an early 20st century tourist guide to Switzerland. Then we proceeded to haggle over prices, and when we reached a fair agreement I picked two books.

One is called “Julien, ou une conscience” by Jean Ronstad, who was a biologist and philosopher. I am really curious about it. It’s from 1928 and, by the pencil annotation in the back, i think it cost 49 francs (is that possible? I’ll have to check).

The other is a 1925 copy of “Le Prométhée mal enchainé” by Gide published by Gallimard. I immediately loved it from the depths of my nerdy soul. I have a bit of a problem when it comes to old books- I mean, I am kind of regretting not getting the guide to Switzerland, and I have no use for it whatsoever- but for some reason this one just called to me. It’s not even particularly beautiful: Gallimard publishes a lot of fairly cheap pocket books, which is the reason why most of the French books in my possesion are theirs, and apparently they did it in 1925 as well. It reminds me of the old Italian BUR classics I find quite often at book sales, and of the 2 €  paperbacks by Collins that fuel my addiction to English literature. They are the best books, in my opinion, and this one seems very well loved. I think whoever owned it before really liked it, and that thought always makes me emotional, so of course I bought it. How could I not?

I had never read Gide before, but I have been meaning to, and it still counts as French practice, right? (Never mind the fact that I can read pretty well and it’s everything else-speaking and listening and using verbs and accents-that’s the problem.) So, instead of studying history like I had planned, I sat down on the meadow and read the whole thing in like three hours.

I am not ashamed to say that I both laughed and cried openly enough for a couple of dog owners to look at me with concern. I definitely know which author I am going to read more of. And I got to pet dogs! It was the best morning I have had this month, all because I am too lazy and disorganized to pack my things properly for a short walk :)

There. I am even in love with the little stain on the cover. Send help.

[sheepisreading]

Books I finished in May 2023

Again, not a lot here but y’know.

Edit: forgot a book!

Super-Infinite: The Transformations of John Donne, Katherine Rundell, 2022

A book I just randomly picked up at the bookstore. I don’t know, I loved the Bill Bryson Shakespeare biography, and this seemed to be in a similar vein but more genuine than funny, which I appreciate. I was also attracted to the book because the idea of the renaissance man, concerned by all subjects of study, is always of interest to me. I’d never actually heard of John Donne, but after rading the book, I definitely understad why people write books about him. Katherine Rundell writes with such distinction and beauty about Donne, using excerpts of his writing and of other scholars’ writing, the whole book is a delight to read. You don’t even have to care one bit about John Donne to read it, I know I didn’t at the start, but I grew to thanks to the exquisite way Rundell tells us about his life. I recommend it ! 

A Certain Hunger, Chelsea G. Summers, 2020

This book I first heard from last year, bought it, and then proceded not to read it for a year. I just didn’t feel like it I guess. I finally picked it up because I had nothing else left to read at my student accomodation. It’s a book about a food writer who kills her lovers. She writes from prison (not a spoiler) and recounts how it all went down. I didn’t vibe with the overly serious food descriptions at first, but I got used to it as I read. It was kinda cool, it’s a contemporary setting too, and I don’t usually read murdery books, so it was a nice change of pace for me. I grew more attached to the narrator towards the end. She really grew on me, I found her a bit pretentious at first but she does show another more introspective and self aware view which warmed me up to her a lot. Basically, a good crime book!

Radical Intimacy, Sophie K. Rosa, 2023

This book was probably handed to me by the gods above. I say that because I read an old fanfic (here, it’s amazing (it’s also fall out boy fanfic be warned)) in like April in which radical intimacy as a concept is mentioned as basically relationship anarchy mixed with non monogamy and like sex and romantic gestures between friends. All of which I subscribe very very much to. I googled radical intimacy after reading it and immediately this book (which JUST came out) popped up! It’s amazing and basically full of everything I’ve always wanted to read on the topics of relationships (or all kinds)! It’s separated in chapters dealing with romance, sex, family, death, friendship under capitalism, and how relationships between people are the thing. As in the thing ever. And I could not agree more! Nonconformative relationships are precious to me and seeing them being spoken about so openly and true-ly was wonderful, especially put into perspective with politics! It’s like Rosa wrote my thoughts out (after doing some research and applying theory to them). I can not recommend this book enough!

[siswritesyanderes]

I am absolutely LOVING your takes on the Cullens forcing reader to regress, something about vampires having that control over you just hits the spot. I notice you lean towards Jasper and Alice a lot and I wonder, are they your favorite Twilight characters? And what are your opinions on the other Cullens (specifically Carlisle--he's my fave personally)? Would you consider writing drabbles for any other Cullens forcing regression onto reader?

All just questions, feel free to ignore! Either way thank you for your time <:)

Thanks so much! My favorite Twilight characters change a lot, but I definitely think Alice and Jasper might have been my first favorite Twilight characters. The first Twilight movie was what got me to read the whole series (and this was when I was young enough that my mom made me skip a solid twenty pages of Breaking Dawn even though no graphic sex even happened). In-between the release of the Twilight movie and that of New Moon, I read the whole series, but I had not even heard of the series when I first watched Twilight, and Alice and Jasper definitely grabbed my attention. Alice had her skirts and leggings and ballerina flats that were basically exactly how I wanted to dress at that age (and she was pretty, but I wasn't ready to process that one), and Jasper was cute and weird and did that thing where he twirled Alice in the cafeteria. Later on, I ended up having lots of "favorites", but they definitely have been my favorite characters before.

(The rest of my answer under the cut, as I have a lot of thoughts.)

As for the other Cullens, I enjoy Rosalie and feel like she deserved fairer writing. That being said, I think it is pretty awesome that she was allowed to have a hobby as subversive of the "hot blonde" stereotype as working on cars, and I think SMeyer's habit of having Bella react so strongly to the slightest unfriendly glance from Rosalie that Rosalie never really had to say anything actively unfriendly means that we really end up with a very protagonist-informed view of her as a "mean" character without her actually doing much to earn this. (And "supposed mean girl who really didn't do or say much of anything" is a trope that I have great sympathy for.) She has a few racist moments in Breaking Dawn, but throughout the series everyone kind of has racist moments because that's how SMeyer writes, I guess.

Esme I think really got the short end, because the series does not let her have much by the way of wants or thoughts or feelings outside of being maternal and caring. I guess she's not a big enough character for it be reasonable for me to demand a subplot, but I feel like she just kind of floats around so benignly and I wish she got to be a little imperfect sometimes. It seems like all of her emotions are filtered through everyone else's well-being. I guess that's the thing; not so much that she isn't allowed to have imperfections or depth, because a lot of the others aren't particularly deep either, but the fact that I feel she's written almost as if she exists to serve the family and not to feel joy on her own behalf.

Emmett is fun, in a pretty easy way. I'm certain he's been my favorite character at some point, too.

Edward I enjoy more as the brooding, pretentious teen who lives in my head rather than the brooding, pretentious teen in canon; I imagine him as more of a well-meaning but ultimately hopeless disaster, rather than the openly condescending and at times actively threatening character who is actually on the page.

And I love Carlisle. I don't think he's ever been my favorite exactly, but I do love him a lot. (Maybe he would have been my favorite at some point if he weren't already my mom's favorite; when we were making our own Twilight t-shirts, I didn't want to have the same character on mine as my mom or my cousin or my aunt.) He does also suffer from the limitations of the writing, since he can only be as good a doctor as wouldn't get in the way of the intended plot, and he can only be a variety of moral and compassionate that the writer considers so. In SMeyer's writing, the moral and compassionate thing to do is not judge your friends for making the conscious choice to murder humans because not to do so is a tough lifestyle. The Carlisle that I invent when I imagine him is more strongly opposed to his friends eating people. But again, ultimately I like him a lot.

Not to shamelessly self-promo, but I did also make a video about how I would characterize the Cullens, on my YouTube channel, if you have any further curiosity.

Also, another Yandere Cullens forced agere post is in the works. 🤗