#thanks to anyone who actually reads it all lol
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I dont know why I had this vision of clora riding a scooter, like a cute light blue one with italy vibes, like a vespa, and sebastian panicking behind her LMAO
I SEE THE VISION AS WELL...idk how shes on a vespa tho since they werent invented yet so lets just assume theres time-turner shenanigans going on LMAO
but also anon this request was so funny to me because the SAME day you sent me it, i also got this one on twitter:
TRULY THE DUALITY OF MAN IS AT PLAY HERE!!! LMAOO debauchery vs wholesomeness...and it made me laugh so much
(and for anyone curious yes i WILL also be honouring the other request......eventually👀)
@jstfndmthngs splitting your ask into 2 again bc its a CHONKER but I LOVED READING IT🥹🥹 "how much they love each other to the abnormal level that i envy" LMAOO THATS FANFICTION FOR YOU, BABY!!😍 also YESS interacting with my readers in the comments was my fav parts of writing a lot of the time, and im SOOO grateful to the ppl who commented bc without them the story would have turned out DRASTICALLY DIFFERENT. like, i know there are some people who write the entirety of their fanfic and then upload it in chunks, but if i had done that/written my story in a vacuum and hadnt incorporated any of my readers ideas/suggestions it would have been SOOOO much worse honestly LMAO. like, not even necessarily putting their requests or ideas in my fic, but even sometimes just reading a comment that would say something like "i cant wait to see how clora/seb reacts to..." would make me think...oh. i was never planning on even showing their reaction to that. but now that they say that, good point, i definitely need to include that LOL. so yeah even just little stuff like that was SUPER important to my writing process and my story and helped me keep in mind what people wanted to see/things i may have missed or glossed over if i'd been writing by myself, but i also just loved getting comments in general bc i loved reading them and they were so motivating🥹 BUT THANK U SO MUCH IM GLAD U LIKED MY STORY/SEB & CLORA SO MUCH, AND TY FOR SHARING ALL YOUR THOUGHTS WITH ME!!🥹💖💖 im lowkey the same way... i cant read any other fics rn bc im still too attached to seb/clora BAHAHA so i still need to give it some time before i delve into other HL fics (i even downloaded a program that will let me replace names so that i can replace the mc's name with clora's LMFAOOOO THATS HOW MENTALLY ILL I AM ABOUT THEM!!😭😭DONT COME FOR ME🏃♀️🏃♀️🚓)
omg...i already love unlocking kinks in people but for it to be specifically seb x clora is even more of an honour BAHAHA omg i love that....but i get it too. clora is submissive and breedable af😍LMAOO (im sorry💀that wasnt me just now that was seb blame him)
@acrenna MERRY LATE CHRISTMAS AND ALSO LATE HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! this is so sweet THANK YOU SO MUCH😭😭im happy my story was able to get you out of your reading slump!! (and hopefully will continue to, with my oneshot im slowly but surely working on😩) BUT THANK YOU AGAIN I APPRECIATE YOU SM🥹🥹💖
@misskkfritz you actually arent the first to say this and i also saw a pinterest comment on my art say this........FELLAS DO I NEED TO WATCH GILMORE GIRLS NOW🤔🤔🤔
#ask#i always wanted a vespa because of zoey 101 DOES ANYONE REMEMBER THOSE THINGS THEY RODE i was so jealous LMFAO#also i think all fanfic writers should be able to give themselves amnesia at least once so we can read our fics and enjoy them as a reader#bc they are literally MADE for us and have all the stuff we like in them#EVERYBODY GETS ONE(1)#vote me in as president. as your first canadian president this will be my first decree. we'll figure it out
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save a horse (ride a cowboy)
8pm, Friday. Red dress. Booth near the end of the bar, by the dart board.
She forgot how demanding the text felt, but it had only encouraged her to want to show up even more.
#owo? what's this? baby cho back with a fic?#I'VE BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME#just... hidden#yeah the image is just that photo okay f u guys (affectionate)#my fanfic masterlist has been updated with this fic plus one other that i previously did not claim.. should you be interested in That#wow okay so this one is a doozy. lots of tags below so fair warning#it took me quite a while from just having the idea for this to actually putting pen to paper (finger to keyboard?)#thank you poppyfamily for seeing my original vision for this fic#biggest shoutout goes to wrench (two-wrenches). who will also be getting the most real estate in these tags#i started this fic with no intention of a) writing it to completion or b) letting anyone edit it if i did finish it#but wrench. wrench!!! loml wrench#if you peep the end note on the fic you'll see my praise but like. she was there when i sent her my embarrassing first draft which was shit#and then she whipped my ass into shape and fixed my terrible syntax and flow issues#all i'm really saying here is that sometimes it just takes the right editor to make you comfortable with your work#AND give you the confidence to continue writing. and i just think that's beautiful#thanks for reading lol#amangela#smosh rpf#my fics#amanda lehan canto#angela giarratana#smosh
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I know you've asked for Ravioli/Legend art prompts at the moment, but I'm craving seeing more Wild and Twilight hurt/comfort in your sweet art style lol so I had to ask, just in case you get inspired at a later date (no pressure I hope! 💙). Could I just ask for a sweet hug between them, or a piggy back ride, or Twilight watching Wild with resigned concern while he's stuck in a vision? :3 I just love their relationship soooo much and your beautiful art of Twilight sewing and his soft smile as Wild sits wrapped around his arm makes me tear up so much ahhhhhhh anyway much love to you dear, I'm honestly happy to see any art you create and give to us lol so thanks for reading my derpy rambling either way xD
How about all three? :)))
I will literally never turn down requests for the Wolf Siblings (or Wolf Trio), even if I’m not actively asking for requests! The two of them make me so soft, I love them so much and Twilight taking care of Wild is my favorite thing in the whole wide world! 🥺 And I’m glad I held on to this ask for a little bit before I started working on it, but the explanation for why is a little long so I’ll put it under the cut
These drawings actually ended up being extra special because the first two were my last pieces of 2024 and the third is my first piece of 2025!! What a wonderful way to close out one year and start the next!
(Also thank you so much for the compliments on my art, I’m so glad you like that drawing of Twilight sewing and Wild holding on to him ☺️)
So a little bit of Stan Lore for y’all, I have two siblings: my younger sister who’s a couple years younger than me (who I’ve mentioned before) and my older sibling who’s 7 years older than me, who’s been living on their own for about 8 years after they graduated college. The reason I haven’t mentioned my older sibling before is because I’m no longer on speaking terms with them, and part of this is due to the guy they recently married, the short explanation being that both my sister and I don’t trust him and he gives me bad vibes. My current relationship with my older sibling is actually one of the reasons that Twilight and Wild’s bond means so much to me but that’s a story for another day
Anyways, last Christmas, my older sibling and their husband didn’t come over for our family’s usual get-together, much to my sister and I’s relief, but this most recent Christmas they unfortunately did and so I barely interacted with anyone this year because I didn’t want to risk potentially getting trapped in a conversation with either of them, and I even snuck out of the house for an hour to go on a walk with one of my friends. Their husband even being in my house freaks me out and I’ve had more than one panic attack about just the thought of it so I knew that I needed something to get me through us hosting Christmas dinner this year, and I decided Wild and Twilight art was the perfect thing! Luckily it worked, drawing art of my favorite boys helped me calm down and grounded me! So all that is to say, thank you for sending me this request, I really needed it 💜
#the legend of zelda#legend of zelda#linked universe#wolf siblings#twilight and wild#lu twilight#lu wild#tp link#botw link#loz#tloz#loz fanart#lu fanart#art suggestions#stan art
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i’m wondering how ni-ki views iroha from illit? thanks!🤍
this one actually feels refreshing
two of wands, ace of swords reversed, the emperor, ten of wands reversed, eight of swords reversed
okay so please know I am being as nice about this as I can be. I do not have ill intentions, and Ni-Ki’s energy is quite laid back as well, not serious or mean, I am just a straightforward person that says it as it is. so please do not misunderstand me. 🫡
so, I genuinely do not keep up with illit so I do not know how old this lady is, but he seems to view her as a child. someone childish, in need of some growth. not that he looks down on her at all, but it’s that he recognises some patterns in her behaviour that teenagers usually do? though, he might view her behaviour as younger than her age. - I would tell you, but like.. I don’t know her age. Like 2-3 years younger? -
but like, there isn’t anything malicious in his energy. it’s just like when you grow up and realise how oblivious you were to the adults around you when you were a kid, you know?
although I do think he views her in a mostly positive light, I will tell the more negative aspect of his view because I like giving honest readings even if some people might not like the reading itself!
he wants to like her, he can’t. - in a platonic manner. his higherself is just highlighting this. -
although he views her as a bright, sweet and cute kid, he also views her as two faced. not based off of nothing though!
he knows her idol personality vs her idol personality, and he seems to view it as polar opposites. so if her fans like her, they are kind of deceived without knowing much of who she actually is behind cam.
ni-ki seems like the kind of person who has strong boundaries, but is always himself, even when it comes to showing who he is at cam. even when it comes to his idol image. in his eyes, if people misunderstand the kind of person he is it’s on them, it just means they are very different from him.
he is an observant person, so he noticed how was her behaviour can change at times. it’s not that he is hung up on this or that he is being ill towards her in this, it’s just that he could have a personal bias towards people like this because of his own experience! it’s the feeling of ‘oh, that reminds me of ____’, so there is a negative feeling based on association, but he doesn’t hate or dislike her, he knows it would be ridiculous to behave like that lol. his energy seems more to be cautious. he seems like a guy who tends to overthink things and be in his head a lot, won’t lie. - ironically this is bc of engenes. -
on another note, I do believe he has over seen her pretend to be sad or ‘a victim’ towards her members just to get attention even though she was completely fine. - his words not mine, don’t shoot the messenger!!! - I think he views this behaviour as childish, immature and overall disrespectful to the other person’s time.
his mentality seems like ‘I wouldn’t do that, so if someone does that there has got to be something bad about them.’ this boy overall seems to have a lot of trust issues that sometimes hold him back from accepting people for who they are. it’s like he constantly subconsciously looks for the bad in people in order to see if it’s worth his time? weighting pros and cons, regardless if he plans to befriend them or not. this could come from his own mental health issues to be honest, so if he sees anyone posses qualities he once had that he hates there is an immediate discomfort and dislike created in him. if someone tries too hard for attention he doesn’t like it because he simply thinks its dishonest. as a kid he might have been dishonest but he reflected and grew out of that.. so when he oversees her pretending to be sad just to occupy some of her members time and attention he could just view her as kind of putting on an act? I am trying to be respectful about this but to be honest he views it as incredibly fake.
regardless, the pros out weight the cons! because even if he sees the negative in people he sees the positive as well, his view isn’t black and white. he looks at her as a sweet, bright, pretty, hardworking and kind person.
perhaps he seems to like how nice she is to her fans? there is this desire to be as considerate or thoughtful as her, to connect with fans as easily as she does. he doesn’t seem envious at all, rather motivated to take steps forward to becoming kinder or more interactive with his own fans as well!
It’s just that he wishes to see more of those positive traits if that makes sense!
this view seems to be made all based on sudden encounters in the work place, not direct interactions! They don’t seem to be close at all to be honest with you here.
that’s all! and with this being said I don’t hate this girl at all, I don’t know her. her energy seems really kind, gentle and youthful! I also do not hate ni-ki either, I have seen this boy grow up and I would never suddenly send any hate to him looking at how much people love to do that. I just gave a honest reading is all.
sometimes people are not compatible at all personality wise even if they do respect each other sincerely. and that’s okay! my words could have just made this seems heavier than it is, his view doesn’t seem to be deep rooted 🫶🏻
– Candy
#kpop#tarot#kpop reading#tarot reading#kpop tarot#kpop ask game#intuitive reading#kpop related#kpop game#paid tarot readings#enhypen#enha#niki enhypen#enha niki#enhypen jay#enhypen jungwon#enhypen sunoo#enhypen sunghoon#enhypen heeseung#enhypen jake#illit iroha
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Okay I have more to say on this here’s a breakdown on why Marina literally wrote this song for Percy:
So the song is thought to be about Marina’s poor relationship with her father. She’s scolding him for being absent, pretentious, looking down on her and her mother and abandoning them for an upper-class lifestyle and new family.
This part makes me think of how Percy views his dad, notably before he meets him properly at the end of The Lightning Thief.
His mother had to work a job she didn’t want and marry a man who abused her (and Percy) just to keep them afloat and keep Percy safe. Meanwhile his father was just, yknow, a god. Chilling in an underwater palace. Just casually being one of the most powerful people in existence. Percy probably views him the same way he would a rich, privileged man who’s lived a sheltered life meanwhile he and his mother have been through so much.
This part in the song really sounds condescending to me in the same way.
This part I think is pretty self-explanatory. Percy has been slave to the will of the gods since he was 12 and he’s been over it since he was 14. But unfortunately, most of the time it’s “do as the gods ask or the world is literally going to end” so he doesn’t have much of a choice. He has no free will when it comes to being a hero and doing his father’s bidding.
“Only got bad things to say” Percy has been calling out the gods since day one, he was literally 12 years old and cussing out Ares and I love him so much for it.
Here Marina is either talking about herself or her mother being left behind by her father who sought (and achieved) a better life.
Percy has the same kind of resentment towards Poseidon. Like I said, Sally had to work a job she didn’t want and marry asshole-Gabe whilst Poseidon was just chilling on Olympus. Percy no doubt felt like he and his mother were abandoned by Poseidon (which they absolutley were).
This I think is also self-explanatory if you know literally anything about Percy ‘pay-your-child-support’ Jackson.
On several occasions Percy has openly critiqued the gods and Poseidon has warned him consistently not to, definitely more out of fear of the gods wrath than out of embarrassment, but I think it still fits.
As for “upper-class wife” I’m kind of using upper-class as a metaphor for godly or divine life vs. mortal life if you couldn’t tell, and Poseidon has an immortal wife: Amphitrite. And if I’m remembering correctly, Percy actually meets her and she is, of course, not fond of him or his existence. Cause Percy doesn’t have enough of that in his life as it is.
Even though Poseidon has said multiple times that he is madly in love with Sally and offered to make her immortal to live with him in the sea - which I absolutely believe, as does Percy - I still bet Percy harbours resentment for Amphitrite and her existence makes him question how much Poseidon truly loves his mother.
This reminds me of Disney-series-Percy especially. He keeps saying “I’m Sally Jackson’s son” and I don’t think this is just out of love for his mother, he’s literally trying to tell the people around him “look I may be a demigod but I’ve spent all twelve years of my life being raised as a mortal in an abusive household. I am not qualified to go on this deadly world-saving quest I can’t even do a kick-flip”. Everyone keeps expecting him and pushing him to be this great hero but he’s literally a twelve year old kid who gets his lunch money stolen.
Now this would work better if Marina said 16 considering, yknow, the prophecy. But 17 still seems like it would be a really big deal to Percy.
Percy turned 17 only two weeks after the battle with Gaia. He was supposed to die at 16 in the original prophecy.
I think he would’ve been so grateful to have made it to this age but also wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about all the kids who died before him, all those that never even made it to 17.
Jason freaking Grace died before he turned 17.
I feel like this age in particular haunts Percy. He should be at the height of his teenage-hood, getting his liscense and first car, taking his girlfriend to prom, thinking about what he’ll do after high school. But Percy’s 17 and undoubtedly living with PTSD, survivors guilt, nightmares about not one but two wars to save the world in which he saw many friends and children die, trauma from going through literal hell. He didn’t even think he’d make it to 16, but here he is, 17 years old carrying all this baggage and now having to plan out the rest of his life that he didn’t ever think he’d have. I know a big part of him is so angry that life turned out this way, and this part in the song really conveys anger and resentment to me.
He never wanted to be a half-blood.
This part to me sounds like Percy recognising that he’s technically the Prince of the Ocean, that he’s his father’s favourite son, that he is child of one of the most powerful and important gods, and trying to be grateful for that. But ultimately I think if he could give up being a demigod he would in an instant (as long as he could still be with Annabeth).
He would kid himself when he was younger into believing that he was lucky or important, that he’s a hero, but as he’s gotten older and more disillusioned with the gods he’s realised that this is just the horrible life that demigods go through, being child soldiers, being hunted by monsters and often not even making it to seventeen.
Seventeen by Marina is SO Percy-coded I know he listened to it for the first time and bawled his eyes out and now it’s on every playlist and he screams the words every time
#massive yap#thanks to anyone who actually reads it all lol#marina and the diamonds#marina#percy jackson#pjo#heroes of olympus#percyjackson#hoo#pjo hoo#pjo hoo toa#pjo series#percy pjo#percy jackon and the olympians#sally jackson
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damn I yap a lot
tldr; im alive, sadly im still on hiatus, other stuff is fine now I just have new [physical] problems, you'll know when I'm fully back (give it another couple months) and comfortable, I'm in a [technically well-over] 3-month long ongoing depressive episode [not tryna do trauma olympics or make anyone feel bad btw it's all chill]
so sorry if I've left you hanging [with art or smth], I'll get to it in time, I promise [I may have unwillingly forgotten, likely not but there's a chance]
Hey, I'm alive, I have been for the.. almost 6 months I've been gone. Holy shit, I didn't even realise that it's been that long. I figured I should at least say something in case anyone is worried or wondering even though everything isn't solved yet, so, here. [under the read more so it's not flooding or anything]
Also, I figure I should apologise for venting on main and just leaving it up - this is all going to stay up because I need to keep it somewhere to aid with my memory issues - but, still, must've been a little weird
Absolutely not a good time to say all this [for me bc I haven't thought this message through] but I'm kinda half-back, just on hiatus from socials due to declining physical health. Really badly declining, I need help honestly
Originally, as you know, I was gone because I had a really bad fall out with my mother, but things pertaining to that have been solved now [except me not feeling 100% safe and trusting to my mother, that will never change. She's tried hard, I just wish I could find her reliable emotionally as well]. It's just that, since then, basically, all these physical problems that I don't understand have been royally fucking me up and messing with my mental too. It's messed with everything I love. I don't know what to do anymore.
Oh wait, where I was actually going with this, so
OK nvm I forgot but you'll see me around bc I've been talking to certain people trying to pretend like nothing's happened and I've made the kinda-silly decision to not fully come off hiatus or talk to other certain people before I'm okay again.
#so the post is for the practical stuff n the tags r for emotional btw [or at least I tried to do that]#[yeah just except the para starting with “originally” I'll keep that there despite being unnecessary]#-#genuinely. im so scared. im so scared all the time [most of the time not scared of anything in particular - I mean the physical problems#fuck me up by making me scared and sad and tired most of the time for no reason]#I have no energy and it's all up and down and even though I actually feel okay rn [not good but okay] after literally breaking down an hour#ago I still know this shouldn't be happening#nobody is going to believe me if I say I have high-functioning depression. who do I tell. well they will believe me but how would it help#and I'm so scared to tell anyone for no reason. I'm not scared mentally rn but no matter whether or not Im ok the emotion stops me from#taking action if that makes sense.#--#I don't understand what I did to deserve this why is this happening to me#why are these internal problems out of my control happening to me#I don't understand and it truly deeply scares me#---#I meant to out this at the start of the tags but fuck it I'm too far in and on mobile to go all the way back now#thank you if you read this far. truly thank you because I need someone to talk to and my irl's are not an option for all different reasons#if I reach out to you about smth random please talk to me as if I'm still not half-gone.#feel free to message me whenever about wtv despite the “hiatus” I need it#... if you have read this far for whatever reason please text me that my Rui loves me my brain is trying to guilt me and say he doesn't#[that just happens when I'm in a certain state even tho that's when I need Rui the most selfship mutuals u get it pls help me out]#he. he does love me right? I swear he does I just. can't seem to believe it right now#I shouldn't have pushed all that to the bottom when it was directly telling my mutuals what I need lol#I feel a little hopeless sometimes. that's not like me I'll be alright in the end. no not that. I'll be better than alright I can fix this#I can fix this. I just need help. god I need help.#at the very least I'll be alright
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There is a post that comes across my dash every so often which talks about the two fundamental kinds of tragedies: the story that is tragic because it was always going to end in sorrow; and the story that is tragic because it didn't *have* to end in sorrow.
The latest episode of Wheel of Time (2x07) is, I think, an example of the latter - and yet, at the same time, I think it was a tragedy that was *destined* to happen.
I know there are theories concerning Compulsion having been used on Siuan (and possibly some other theories about why she acted as she did in Cairhien), and I do not at all want to discount them because honestly it would make sense. But, taking the events of the episode at face value - as much as I hate it, and as much as I personally wish it had gone a little differently, I do think that the way Moiraine and Siuan's conflict culminated was a horrible, tragic example showing just how toxic, damaging, and outright dangerous the fundamental traditions of the White Tower (and even culture of the Aes Sedai) are and have become.
But I'm getting a little ahead of myself.
I do think that this episode, more than any of the others yet, suffered from the limited episodes Rafe/the writers were given to work with. It felt rushed, and we didn't get the chance to breathe with any of the characters in the really intense and honestly critical emotional scenes (e.g. the scene at the beginning where Moiraine and Siuan talk).
And it's there - the first scene with Moiraine and Siuan - that I think the tragedy that was to come was irrevocably decided. Because if Siuan had stopped, had listened, had given Moiraine the time she needed to be able to talk about what was happening, I think the whole mess could have been avoided. But Siuan didn't.
And I understand why, I think. Siuan was afraid and hurt. To her point of view, Moiraine had made it clear that she had cut her out of her confidence and counsel. Moiraine had been purposefully neglecting to share critical information with Siuan, and that information was very impactful on her ability to fill her role in the plan. To Siuan, I'm sure it absolutely looked like Moiraine had already broken faith with her - had already decided it wasn't *them* trying to find and protect and ready the Dragon Reborn, but *Moiraine* alone. Whether Siuan thought that choice was made from pride, grief, or Moiraine distrusting/distancing herself from Siuan, I don't think it would matter really. To Siuan, the outcome was the same.
It wasn't her and Moiraine against the world anymore. It was her, and Moiraine, and the world.
And Moiraine had proven herself incapable - at least, that's what it looked like.
There were plenty of ways that this could have been avoided. Moiraine could have been more open and forthright. Lan could have told Siuan about his suspicions regarding Moiraine's stilling. There are likely things that Alanna or even Verin could have said that would have inclined one (or the other, or even both! all three of them!) to have made different choices.
But there, I think, is the reason that this tragedy, while it could have been avoided, was destined to happen all the same - in one form or another, even if not that exact time and place and between those very specific women.
Because the Aes Sedai value secrecy and personal agenda above all else. Even if those secrets and those agendas are in the service of something else, something greater - a perfect example, of course, being Moiraine searching for the Dragon Reborn - the Aes Sedai do not trust each other. They cannot. Because their lives, their very society and community, is built on secrecy, on lies-spoken-as-truth, on politics and power and hidden agendas. They are at war against themselves, and not just because of the Black Ajah. They are at war against themselves because the White Tower does not allow honesty, trust, or open loyalty between its Sisters - ever.
And that is why, in the end of it all, I think the White Tower and the Aes Sedai, at least as they exist right now, need to be razed. Because how are those who are meant to protect and guard and guide the world able to do so, if they cannot even trust *any* of their own sisters to do the same for them?
That is why, while the tragedy of this episode could have been forestalled, maybe even avoided - it was destined to happen all the same.
But it hurts - so goddamn bad - that it had to be here, and now, and between Siuan and Moiraine.
#wheel of time#wot season 2#wot on prime#siuan sanche#moiraine damodred#moiraine sedai#moiraine x siuan#siuanraine#wot spoilers#wot meta#look. look i'm sorry this was as long as it was.#thank you to anyone who actually read it all#i realize it may have rambled a bit in the middle#this is the first meta/media analysis i've actually written let alone shared in...uhhhhh years lol#so i'm a little bit out of practice!#anyway#yeah these are my thoughts#i do think it's likely also that there is Something Else going on with Siuan#because like. damn girl. she really just did not even TRY to stop and listen to Moiraine#if anyone has any other thoughts please do share#in the mean time i'll be crying in a corner kthnx
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fire and the thud came on my spotify shuffle while me and my sister were listening to music this afternoon, and at the end of it she turns to me and goes “who was that? the lyrics sound like the kind of thing you’d write” and honestly i think it’s one of my favourite unintentional compliments i’ve ever received
#the fact that she’s been reading my writing since we were both kids and knows that side of me better than anyone too#idk it just made it really hit with that bit more weight#also something about it was weirdly validating#because like that whole album has such a special place in my heart#i have never heard anything that connects me so fundamentally with my creativity in the way humbug does#and so to have someone who knows nothing about am go ‘hey these lyrics remind me of the way your mind works’#when hearing those songs for the first time sometimes felt like someone had reached into my brain#was just#yeah#i don't even know actually#i'm not trying to claim i can write like alex btw#i'm not delusional lol#but i do hear echoes of myself and the way i connect with creativity so often in his writing#which is i think why i connect with it so much#even if i express that creativity differently#(and with less skill)#sorry i'm just rambling at this point#i feel like i'm not explaining this well at all but my brain is so foggy rn#so i'm going to shut up now and go back to my book#thanks/apologies to anyone who's read their way though this whole ramble#humbug#lulu posts
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But what if Delphini was at Hogwarts the same time as the trio???
Year 1:
“Please.”
She jokes, nudging at her cousin who’s sitting tall besides her in the train compartment. “Harry Potter being in our year at Hogwarts is nothing more than a gift.” She means it too, forcing away that pit of fear that settles in her stomach whenever she thinks about the chosen one. About everything he’s already taken from her family, from her.
Draco goes on joking with their soon-to-be fellow Slytherins. The express is buzzing with energy, though most of the First Year’s look more nervous than excited.
She runs into Neville Longbottom on their waltz to the Great Hall. He bends directly in front of her, picking up some slimy toad off the stone floor with bare hands. Disgusting. He’s on his knees when he looks up and meets her eye, terror seeping into his gaze. She smiles at him devilishly, pausing for a moment before pushing him aside in an effort to get to what she is certain will soon be her throne room.
“Delphini Lestrange.”
It’s a horrible cover-up of a last name, an obvious lie to any witch or wizard who knows better. McGonagal calls it nonetheless. There is a weight on her shoulders as she walks forward, the same one that’s settled their since the moment she was born.
No one is surprised when the hat deems her a Slytherin.
Delphini feels Dumbledore’s stare on her the entire walk over to the sea of green and silver, but it’s Snape’s eyes that she meets when she sits down.
The tension between Slytherin and Gryffindor is palpable. Worse than it has been in years, or so the older students claim. Delphini knows why, and Draco does too.
She’s still glaring at the Granger girl when Quirrell asks her to stay after class in a sputter.
“Of course, Professor.” She answers sweetly, watching from the corner of her eye as jealousy blooms across the mudbloods face. Ever the teacher’s pet. He seals the doors behind them, locking them with a flick of his wrist and casting a silencing charm while he’s at it.
This time, he does not stutter when he speaks to her.
Year 2:
She dreams of a snake all alone, somewhere dark. Crying out for family, for companionship, for someone to listen. Anyone.
Only no one is there.
She wakes up in her dormitory with tears in her eyes.
There’s been whispers about the Heir of Slytheirn. Talk that he’s returned, that he’s ready to rid the school of all filth that stands in his mighty way.
Sometimes she wonders how people might react to find out that 'he' is actually a 'she.'
Regardless, it’s not Delphini that’s playing around in the chamber this year. A part of her is wildly unsettled that she doesn’t know who it is.
It’s no matter, she has far more important things to focus on.
Initially, she almost isn’t allowed to take part in the dueling club. Some poor excuse sprouted up by the Gryffindors, accusations of dark magic and cheating. Unsurprisingly, its Severus that comes to her aid.
Dueling comes far too naturally to her, and feels oh so sweet. Still she works harder, so eager, ready to fight, to strike. She trains and trains and then trains some more.
She needs to be enough for Him, when the time is right.
Potter being a parselmouth is.. Unexpected.
Even Severus seems surprised. Delphini is not sure how to handle the news, she writes home to her Uncle who informs her to stay out of it.
For the first time in a long time, she listens.
Sometimes, she thinks she's going insane. She hears her father speaking to her through the castle walls, they whisper and she listens. She continues her training.
She will be enough.
That poor snake.
Year 3:
The castle is awake, dementors swarming high above them, eager, hungry.
She hates them.
Delphini is determined and reluctant all at once in her venture.
Macnair had just walked out to call for the dementors, readying them to focus their rage. Quickly and quietly she slips into Flitwick’s office.
They both freeze the minute their gazes meet.
Eyes clashing from across the room, one hand still resting on the door handle, the other’s chained to an ornate desk. Sirius is the first to break the spell.
“You look just like her.”
She shifts her gaze away at that, something in her shattering just a little. “I know.” She wants to answer, but she doesn’t have the time.
“How did you do it?”
This time, it’s him that doesn’t answer, eyes scanning her face almost wistfully.
“She’d never stop talking about you, you know? Drove the other inmates mad in her rantings, but really I think she just didn’t want to forget.”
And how that just aches.
She shatters further. “How could you leave her!?” She wants to scream, instead she asks again:
“How did you manage to escape?” Her voice sounds more desperate than commanding, close to a whisper.
He smiles sadly.
“She can’t do it..” Delphini waits for him to finish his sentence. It’s short, and certainly not the answer she was looking for. “I’m an animagus.”
And that’s all she needed to hear. She squeezes her eyes shut tightly, not bothering to hide her reaction. That familiar weight settles heavily on her shoulders again, for a moment she feels like she might crumble beneath it. Quickly she turns back to the door, ready to race out of the room and pretend he told her anything else.
She pauses, tossing her dark curls over her shoulder to glance back at his haunting face.
“Then why wait all this time? Why not leave that place the second you had the chance?”
He doesn’t answer.
He doesn’t need to.
Year 4:
It was gorgeous, the bright green in stark contrast against the dark night sky. Constellations gleaming in its wake, a harmony in the heavens.
A terrorist attack, they had called it.
Art, Delphini thought. It was the first time she’d ever seen it.
Something was coming. Lucius seemed certain of this, even Narcissa had given them an exceptionally careful goodbye before ushering them onto the express.
The Triwizard Tournament turned out to be an even bigger let down than she’d imagined. Beauxbatons was a bore, and the Drumstang boys seemed scared of her, which was no surprise really.
Karkaroff avoided her like a poor case of mumblemumps.
His time would come, it was not up to Delphini to designate punishment. Not yet.
Watching Potter almost die at the edge of each of these challenges did add a nice touch to the year. Though, all that anticipation she’d felt in summer dwindled a bit each time he survived.
It wasn’t until Moody tracked her down in the corridors after hours that things really got interesting.
Even Delphini was surprised to find Barty somehow alive.
He doesn’t tell her much. They don’t have a lot of time as it stands, and really she’s just thrilled to have finally met him. He’s full of promises, of course. Lot’s of ‘soons’ and ‘be ready’. Delphini doesn’t get any of the details but she’s known since the beginning of term that it was finally coming. She’s more than ready, more than enough. Isn’t she?
"The Dark Lord will rise again, Crouch! Throw us into Azkaban; we will wait! He will rise again and He will come for me!"
The scripture scrawled into her very soul. There have been signs everywhere pointing towards His return. Now she knows it to be true.
“You have her face,” Moody - Barty - interrupts her thoughts, he’s staring at Delphini in near worship, a look so foreign for the professor. “You have His eyes, though.”
“I know.”
She meets Him for the first time later that summer and He tells her something similar. It means all the more coming from Him.
Before her father, for the first time, she spins her spells into symphonies, her hexes into homilies, casts her curses to the constellations. Shows Him everything she knows, and all her power with it.
She walks back over to Him when she is well and through, magic still radiating off of her in harsh waves. Her father takes her wand from her hands.
“I have much to learn.” Delphini offers, and she knows it to be true.
Her father is looking at her wand still.
Dragon-heartstring, like her mother. Yew, like His own.
He is smiling when he answers, something proud dancing in those red eyes. “Yes. You do.”
Year 5:
With the commencing of the Spring Equinox she is finally allowed home. Ostara save her.
Delphini has to brace herself before walking through those large double doors, entirely unsure exactly who she might find on the other side.
Still, her heart is burning.
At last.
Her mother’s embrace is a blessing. A gift Delphini hadn’t known she needed. That sharp look of recognition in her eyes hurts in all its relief.
She really does wear her face, afterall. They’d all promised her as much, didn’t they?
Father is there, He is watching. Studying them both, studying their interaction.
Her mother takes her face between her palms like a prayer, eyes shining. She’s full of promises and penitence. Delphini isn't having any of it. Her mother owes her nothing and this, just being here, it's more than enough.
Delphini has never felt so whole in all her life.
She begs to be a part of their plans at the ministry. Anything she can do to further the cause, support her family, put them back into their rightful place - above everyone else.
It's futile. She's far too young, and the logistics of getting her there are far too problematic. There's talk of Azkaban and Bellatrix looks terrified at the prospect of Delphini somehow winding up there.
"Absolutely not. The choice is not yours to make and your Father and I are in perfect agreement that you remain at the school." She turns to her, reaching a hand up to caress Delphi's cheek tenderly.
"We'll celebrate once we return with the prophecy, hm?"
It's the one promise Delphini will accept wholeheartedly.
Year 6:
Somehow, it’s Draco and Delphini that bear the brunt of the shame brought on from the fiasco at the Ministry.
Draco is marked, as punishment to Lucius (to Narcissa).
Delphini is not, as punishment to Bellatrix (to herself).
Her cousin is crumbling under the pressure, Delphini is soaring. It's the same weight she’d felt her whole life, only this time she finally has an opportunity to act on it.
It takes longer than she would like to mend the vanishing cabinet. Draco was seeing to it personally in the beginning, but with little to no headway Delphini made it her personal mission.
Not that it really mattered anyway. Delphini has other plans entirely.
Whilst Draco wastes his time casting cursed necklaces and poisoning wine, Delphini is speaking with the stars.
She will be enough.
When the day of reckoning is finally upon them she can hardly hold back.
“Expelliarmus.” It’s swift and was fully intended to take him off guard but she’d still expected him to put up some sort of a fight. Immediately, something seems off, its only a matter of sorting out whether or not its something she can take advantage of.
“Evening, Delphini, Draco. Are you alone?”
“Who else is here?” She doesn’t bother to entertain his question, though Draco is quick to boast about the Death Eaters holding off the guards down below. Dumbledore assures them he is alone, but the two brooms resting along the ramparts suggest otherwise.
No matter, Delphini will handle them both. Draco is waxing on, talking about the vanishing cabinet and Rosmerta. Much as she hates to listen to him give them all away she’s taking a moment to study the Headmaster. Something seems off, as he is entirely unbothered to be at the wrong side of their wands.
“And why have you waited?” The headmaster interrupts after a beat, causing even her cousin to pause. “Those feeble attempts to kill me all year, surely they weren’t you.” He is speaking directly to Delphini now, she knows it.
She smiles.
Quickly, the other Death Eaters are fast up the stairs making their presence known.
“It doesn't have to be this way.” The Headmaster continues, eyes only on her despite the others' verbal jabs. “Long ago, I met a boy who made all the wrong choices-"
“My Father, you mean?” She breaks her silence, the other Death Eaters laugh behind her at the revelation. Though Dumbledore is not at all surprised, and why would he be? “There’s no reason to hide behind truth’s any longer, Headmaster. His time has come, and consequently yours is over.”
And suddenly Severus is there stepping forward to share a look with Dumbledore. A part of her considers testing the potion professors loyalty..
..Only, this is her moment.
“Avada Kedavra!” It’s sweet on her tongue, and even sweeter watching him fall. They’re on the move sooner than she’d like for them to be, hardly a chance to savor it.
On their flight into the forbidden forest she throws a ‘morsmordre’ into the sky like a personal signature. The monogram of her family.
When she finally greets them, He tells her she’s worthy and stitches as much into the inside of her left forearm.
She is enough.
Year 7:
It’s beyond refreshing, being who she was always meant to be.
Watching as Slytherins and now students alike all bow at her feet, that renewed fear keening in their eyes.
She savors it, relishes in their reactions.
Miss Black, they call her.
It’s nearly perfect. Helping alongside mother and father to secure the ministry this summer, returning to Hogwarts with an honest surname, unforgivables cast at her fingertips without repercussion.
Of course, there is still the looming prospect of Potter.
He’s been hiding from them all for far too long, lurking in the shadows despite the growing number of mudbloods father kills. Finally, they manage to locate him at Hogwarts, where boy wonder somehow convince the entire school to fight for him. How cute.
Until eventually, they find a way to lure him out.
Father calls her to the boathouse through the mark she finally bears. Her mother falls into step with her the moment she departs, Delphini is not sure if she was called but what does it matter? They’re family.
Nagini greets her with enthusiasm, dancing between her legs like a cat. She acknowledges her, of course, but only after she acknowledges Him.
He eyes her mother disapprovingly and Delphini is not at all sure what to make of that.
“We’ll have him soon, Father. I'm certain of it. He’s far too righteous to let this continue, even if it is good fun. He will come to you. ”
He hums in agreement, long fingers tracing his newfound wand.
“That he will, Delphini.”
She waits then, she and mother both, giving him the floor to impart his orders.
“You understand, Delphini, that you have proved yourself very valuable to me since my return.” She smiles gently, sharing a warm look with her mother before turning back to Him. “You’ve been right about a number of things, and dedicated beyond my expectations.” He pauses again before resuming his gentle pacing. “One can only hope that that devotion continues with my next request.”
He falls into step next to her mother, reaching forward to trace along Bellatrix jaw gently.
“I have concerns, Bella, with how this new wand may cooperate with me when it comes time to put an end to Harry Potter.” Her mother looks confused, leaning forward into his touch.
“My Lord?” He lingers a moment, appreciating her features before resuming his pacing.
With it He continues, telling them of wandlore he was able to gather from Ollivander, from Gregorovitch. Delphini’s stomach sinks with every word.
“You understand, Delphini.” He pauses, stopping directly opposite her on the other side of the small boathouse with an imploring look. “That while you live, the elder wand will never truly be mine?”
And finally she is crumbling under the weight of it all.
Tears swim in her eyes as she looks at Him without answer, finally broken. She did everything right - exactly as He had asked her to! She did it all for Him - for them! To be everything and more.. To be enough..
Though, it seems she may never be enough.
“F-father..” Her voice is broken, stubborn tears escaping from her eyes, eyes the same shade as His own. He doesn’t speak, nor does he resume his pacing.
And then there’s Bellatrix, balancing on the edge of in-between them.
Delphini is too afraid to even look at her, desperation more than evident in her mother's voice: “My Lord. Certainly, there is another way. We can take Potter as prisoner and work the rest out later! How can we trust the word of a two-timing wandmaker? No - there are more, other wandmakers throughout Europe! I will bring them to you and we can find other ways - just like we always do..My Lord.."
His eyes don’t leave Delphini's own.
“Please.”
#lol#if there's anyone out there who still follows me I hope this finds you#thanks to whoever sent this in and added enough fuel to the fire that I actually wrote for the first time in a long time#there's literally so much more that could be added to this and truly its not at all how I think things might actually go#if Delphi was Harry's age#but alas#this will do for now#delphini#delphi#harry potter#lord voldemort#bellatrix lestrange#Draco malfoy#albus dumbledore#sirius black#I wanted to add Roddy so bad but I legit would have to make this a fucking archive post if I added anymore#even this is pushing it#likely none of y'all read it in its completion given the absurd size of it#bellamort#mad eye moody#barty crouch junior#hogwarts#that's all
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fic talk in the tags 💝
#aaaaaaaa i have only 4 stores left to write for the advent calendar and then i'm done?! 😭#i can't believe it guys i might actually be able to pull this off 👀#i've literally just winged it day after day with minimal planning#and i haven't even had a breakdown once? gonna knock on wood here real quick lol#i've had so much fun writing all these little stories too 🥺 and i'm fairly satisfied with them as well! yes!! me!! my biggest critic!!#i'm not gonna be writing anything for a while after i get these last ones done though lol i've written SO MUCH during these past weeks#however i did write down a short piece of dialogue in finnish the other day 👀#like. literally 11 words and idk if i'm ever gonna write more but those words just...came to me so i had to write them down somewhere#(it has been peer-reviewed as 'perfect' (thanks eetu <3) and you can totally slide in my DMs if you're curious)#and the college/uni au i've been playing with practically all autumn is something i definitely want to give a try#(so far i only have some random notes and moodboards 😅)#but whatever i'll end up writing i'll do it because i want to and that's what's important 🤍#thank you so much everyone who has been reading these stories or any of my fics this year#i really am not expecting anyone to read my stories and i'm happy if even just one person does 🥺#okay sappy talk over now back to writing byeeeeee#*stories
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I'll stop posting wips eventually but it's been five days since I've said anything and I don't want anyone to think I'm dead/dying/stuck in a ditch and withering away, so here's 10% of the reason I disappeared (the duck is stuck in rendering hell) (and my little baby laptop is screaming at me every time I open up this file)
I might still be mostly lurking for a little bit so please be patient with me in the meantime 🙏🙏
#seriously though I'm sorry for just up and disappearing like that#wanna talk to people and interact with them so bad lately but I just can't bring myself to do it#so the best i can manage is blabbing in the tags like always#i don't know wtf is going on but over the past few days I've just felt like i don't deserve to talk to anyone#tried to reblog posts from mutuals several times but something in my head keeps saying;#'yeah they don't actually care for your input at all and you're being a bother for even trying etc etc'#and i know deep down that's probably not true (i hope) but i can't reason it away you know#and i know the best solution to this is to just talk to someone#let it be known that i *did* make an attempt to#i tried texting someone (and succeeded) but i couldn't keep doing it and I'm back at square one (and now feel worse lmao)#i'm not really putting this here for anybody to see it as much as i am for myself#but i know that (hypothetically) this could be seen by a real human so it still kinda feels like I'm reaching out in a way which feels nice#makes me feel less like I'm shriveling up in my own self imposed solitude#so uh hello person who might be reading the tags (there's six of you guys here now which is crazy cause i post nothing but junk here lol)#((but thanks anyway for following and even more thanks for reading this if you did))#i'll make my way around all the posts i missed soon enough don't worry#i'm sorry i'm really not meaning to ignore anybody#i have drafted quite a few posts from moots that i couldn't finish leaving comments on but i have seen them#everyone here is super cool and talented as always <3 whether that be through art or writing or just finding neat posts to share#this wall of text is long enough and i'm very eeby so thank you again for reading this#tldr; not dead and i'll be okay eventually :)#not rb#hey look i didn't post a picture of my dog this time (a crime)#i'll make sure to share one the next time i get a good one
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Your ™ (aside from faramir obv) is how unhinged you are about denethor AND having the most correct takes abt him🧡. Oh and also oranges maybe
AAAA...THANK YOU ??? THIS KNOCKED ME FLAT like for real i cannot express how much ive been thinking about this ask all day. like i was in the grocery store thinking about it. i cant decide if it's funnier if you've been here since i was 19 and a hater and watched me have my dramatic change of heart in real time or if youre new here and don't know my tragic backstory. TO ME it's hilarious to be assigned denethor girl bc like teenage me is having a heart attack but i bear the badge with pride nevertheless <3333 and thats what we call character growth!
pj had totally got me with the mad-and-vindictive-with-despair denethor gambit for years and years but literally i started working on the faramir goes to rivendell au and thought for about two seconds about how complex both faramir and boromir's relationships with their father are and how the film changes genuinely weaken all of their characters so much and did a total 180 degree turn on a dime. by doing denethor dirty i would automatically be doing faramir dirty and then i started thinking and went hang on a second he is so complex and interesting actually. like i can't emphasize how much that was the exact logic that allowed me to achieve this development.
i mean okay LISTEN TO ME oh my GOD denethor IS a good leader there's a reason why gondor stood so long alone against the enemy and he NEARLY fucking beat SAURON in 30 years worth of head-to-head knock-down-drag-out psychic stalemate warfare and he only falls into despair when he loses both of his sons. you don't need to like him to respect the achievement!
i almost put a read more here but fuck it denethorposting on main. hit j on your keyboard or do a big scroll if youre sick of me LOL
i am very well known for going totally feral over duty vs love dynamics and that is literally what is going on between denethor and his sons. he cannot be their father and their commander at the same time and they are at war!!! being their commander has to win out above all else!!! whether any of them like it or not!!! do you know what ruthlessness means do you understand that duty wins this one.
do u guys understand that denethor and faramir are a father and son who love each other above else and yet do not like each other at all. there was a schism somewhere there along the line and love without bitterness and political sniping and ideological misalignment is a DISTANT MEMORY. No Of Course He Shouldn't Have Said He Wished Faramir And Boromir's Places Exchanged Jesus Christ No Son Should Have To Hear That From Their Father But Girl Sometimes When You're Grieving You Say Stupid Shit That You Shouldn't Have. doesn't mean you should've said it but [pippin voice] we can understand poor denethor a bit better, huh?
its just so interesting to me to think about faramir and denethor's relationship from a standpoint of like. ok listen good stewards that are not good fathers and dutiful sons who will not compromise their moral compasses for love. i don't like you and i agree with approximately 1% of everything you've said ever and your expectations of me have always been unreasonably high even when i was a child but you also are the only person who could ever understand the terrifying psychic powers that just live inside my brain and you are probably the incarnation of lordly dignity and power that i have had and i have wanted to emulate all my life and i still have the instinct to ask for your approval even if i'm going to hate what you're going to say. and when i'm dying i will call out for you. and i don't like you and your moral compass is going to get you and me and everyone in our city killed and you haven't listened to a single thing i've said since you were fourteen and i fucking hate that you're listening to and trusting the fucking wizard over me but you are my best captain and you are everything that i wished i could've been without the war and you'll never understand that that's why i pushed you so hard i just wanted you to live. and if you couldn't live at least we could die together. LISTEN i am a faramir girl until the death you all KNOW THIS BUT THESE TWO THINGS ARE NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE- [i am forcibly yanked offstage]
#from the inbox#Anonymous#THANK YOU YOU ARE AN ANGEL!!! I LOVE YOU!!!#sorry for how unhinged this answer got ive been drinking#my friday night: totally sober sitting quietly filing my taxes. my saturday night: wine drunk denethor ranting. i am an adult#you: ur brand is being unhinged about this specific topic. me tasked with talking about that topic: sorry for being unhinged. hilarious#idk like oh my god yeah the transgender allegory of 'parent insisting their child is dead while people cry out that they're still living'#fucks crazy. i fucking love that reading. but im tired of the madman-idiot-caricature lack of textually-referenced nuance out here!#bitch king faramir and complex noble lord denethor are actually concepts that are holding hands. To Me.#also YES!!! ORANGES!!! i have an orange tattoo lol i love you i'm glad i exist. there is secret lore but i think if i don't stop talking no#everyone who follows me will explode me with their minds#i am still taking trademark asks if anyone at all has read this far LOL#long post#SORRY AGAIN LMAOOO#denethor anon#denethorposting
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I wish religious ppl critically thought ab religion lmao
#Muslims especially lmao like everything is taught to us as face value and ppl fr take all the text as just. the text#ppl don’t gaf ab context until it’s something that makes them ‘look bad’ then it’s ‘oh but the context is…’#esp when it comes to things pertaining to women. it’s always ‘the text said this’ and never ‘the context is this’#oh but if u dare bring this up it’s ‘how dare u question god’….I’m not questioning god I’m questioning the fact u don’t dig deeper#no one ever thinks ‘oh this might actually be harming ppl let’s think of how to unharm ppl’ it’s always ‘god knows what’s best :)’#god didn’t create the damn patriarchy u dumb shits…let us think!!!! let us critically think!!!!!!#& it feeels like anyone who does think ab things is labelled a bad Muslim or just straight up leaves the religion which is so upsetting#like u r literally encouraged to read and seek out knowledge…#but it’s so upsetting ppl only agree w that if the knowledge u find is what’s already mainstream lmfao like ok thanks for the groupthink!#it’s exhausting fr fr. & im sure it’s the same in other religious circles but ofc I wouldn’t know I can only speak ab my own lol
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Sorry to correct you but. Samosa is an indian dish not Kenyan
Hello anon! LOL okay I never expected to get into Samosa Discourse on my Star Trek blog but I happen to love food and history and the history of food so here we go😂
You are correct that samosas are not native to Kenya- and yes, India is by far the country most associated with samosas in the popular imagination (for good reason, samosas are pretty much omnipresent throughout India!) But while samosas are not originally from Kenya, that doesn't mean (imo at least) that they cannot be counted as part of Kenyan cuisine. (Which I didn't even necessarily do in that post, but I understand your position so I'll elaborate on those terms!)
Kenya is a multi-ethic country made up of several African peoples and migrant communities, including Kenyan Asians. Now, the history of South Asians living in/trading with East Africa goes back centuries, but there was also this huge (and deeply colonial) boom in the Asian population during the late 1800s-early 1900s when the British sent tens of thousands of indentured Indian labourers to Kenya to build the Uganda railway. (There is a LOT more history I could get into re the British East Africa Protectorate and the complicated social dynamics between African & Asian communities at the time, but that's not really relevant to samosas so I'll spare you.)
Anyway, modern day Kenya still has a considerable South Asian population, and as such (again not getting into the more complicated social dynamics here), Kenyan cuisine has a lot of Indian (and Arab) influences. But beyond that- Swahili culture(s) and cuisine(s) evolved over centuries of interaction between the various (predominantly Bantu) peoples of East Africa and traders from West, Central & South Asia (who brought in- among other things- their own spices), so cultural intermingling has always been a staple of the East African coast (which is geographically SO close to Asia!) If you were to walk around some of the bigger, more Asian diaspora-heavy cities of Kenya, like Mombasa or Nairobi, you'd find plenty of chicken/fish-based coconut curries & stews that strongly resemble Indian ones- as well as rice-based dishes like pilau & biriyani, rotis, chapatis, bhajias (called 'bajjis' in certain parts of India), kheemas, kebabs- and yes, samosas. Or sambusas, as they're often called in Kenya.
And what's more- the samosa (originally 'samsa' iirc) likely originated in Central Asia in the first place! It still goes by other names in West Asia and North Africa too; as do several other dishes-in-common. In fact, kuku paka (a dish I mentioned in the post that prompted this ask) is a Kenyan chicken curry with distinct Indian & Arabic influences. So if samosas can qualify as Indian cuisine (which, they undoubtedly do), imo they can qualify as a part of Kenyan cuisine too! Anyway I'm truly sorry I let this ask get SO far away from me lmao, I guess I've always felt a bit alienated by this growing tendency in Asian & African communities to sort of rigidly and unquestioningly (even proudly) uphold colonial divides when our cultures are actually so sprawling and ancient? Like sure, we are not monoliths, and it is important that people learn that- but also, so many political borders across both continents didn't even exist as they are today even a hundred years ago. It's so cool how much there is in common! Food, like so many other aspects of culture, is often migratory and full of varied influences, and that's just so deeply human and beautiful and fascinating to me
#nebulouscoffee on tumblr: come for the trekposting stay for the samosa lore apparently? lol#apologies to anyone who actually read all this rambly nonsense wish I could give you a sambusa/samosa as a reward#also anon I know you meant well and TRULY no hard feelings so pls don't take this the wrong way but. this ask made me giggle#I don't know if you're indian or just a concerned (white) citizen but speculating actually cheered me up on a Trying night so thank you!#in either case: you needn't worry!! I'm not out here on a mission to spread samosa misinformation on my star trek blog peace and loveee#(in all seriousness I'm very sorry if this reply came off as condescending or dismissive I promise it wasn't at all meant that way)#((might delete later btw just putting that out there))
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okay my thoughts on chk chk boom:
i like it! it's not my all time favourite stray kids title track but it's fun. they tried something different and it turned out well. it kinda sounds like an ateez song, largely because of the last chorus, but it does have a somewhat ateez-y sound - which i like!
the instrumental is fun and the song is structured well. the verses are good and i like the topline melodies. not a huge fan of the prechorus but i like the chorus a lot. i don't think it has the best line distribution but everyone seems to have the same amount of cool/memorable bits? i like the choreo a lot. also good for them for getting ryan reynold and hugh jackman in the MV!
i'd give it a 7.9/10? id say currently it's in my top five skz title tracks? in 5th place, below thunderous, maniac, god's menu and back door.
thoughts on the ate EP as a whole:
i really liked mountains! b-sides that could've been title tracks are always my favourite skz songs (i.e megaverse). it's VERY stray kids. i'd give it a 7.5/10? i liked the refrain bit (head above the clouds etc) more than the chorus and the chorus was the low point in the song for me.
i don't like jjam that much, it feels like a messier version of item. i do think it would be very good live, and i think my thoughts on it could change. but i found the lyrics kinda cringey and annoying. it's a 5/10 sorry
i like it is very radio friendly. i didn't playlist it and the chorus feels a little funky. i do know that this is one of the songs that they were trying something different with, and i think they did well with something that's quite far from what they're usually used to, but skz has done pop-y songs before that i like more than this one (see like half of han's solo songs). 6.5/10, it's not cohesive enough for me. instrumental is cool though
runners is a lot like domino honestly, until the chorus. it's quite good but it's not playlisted. the production is fun! i bet it'll have super fun choreo. it kinda reminds me of social path too? it's very season two shounen anime opeing. 7/10 i think
twilight is amazing obviously. han's songs always slay. sonically, it's like if want so bad (lee know and han) and that song by jeonghan and wonwoo from seventeen that i forgot the name of had a kid and the kid is friends with mingi and yunho's song. (i need the skz player/replay/whatever the heck it's called songs on spotify). solid 9/10 hanpop never fails us
i... don't like the self titled song much. for a song called stray kids, it's not the most stray kids sounding song. this song also reminds me of social path and is giving last season of a sports anime opening when they're in their third year and are going to nationals and its sad but also happy or whatever. the references to their older songs were cute. 7.5/10, it's a nice sounding song but it's also not playlisted. fitting that it released just after the contract renewal news came out! i hope they're all happy with the contracts and stuff
the chk chk boom festival version is garbage. what the fuck happened to the instrumental. it sounds sped up but its not and its what panic and fear sound like. i want it removed from my memories. 2/10
overall, it was a good project! it's a solid EP and i think it'll be good live (hoping i can get tickets lol). from the mini documentary thing they did, it seems like they were a bit creatively burnt out and also quite tired while working on this, and i think they wanted it out sooner than it was? regardless, it's a great release and considering how busy they've been the past year, it's very good. i would give it a solid 7.5/10 overall.
#stray kids#stray kids comeback#music review#i hope their contract negotiations included a more sustainable release schedule#i'd rather them release one full album a year than two or three EP's#and i think that would also be better for them and their creative process#also guys#i am a fan of stray kids okay#please don't interpret any of this as hate for the members or the music!#i'm just sharing my thoughts on the album the same way i do with other artists i like#it is very rare that i like every song on an album or EP#that has happened ONCE this year and it was the xdinary heroes album which you should all listen to because it's amazing#also congrats to skz for the song on the deadpool and wolverine soundtrack!#to anyone who actually reads this entire thing:#thank you i guess?#i did not realize how much i wrote lol
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Other Misc. Rambling Thoughts on the topic:
(~ !!!!!!!!! if you're just reblogging this post for the Poll section, please reblog the original post without this addition* lol. ~)
(*not that there's anything super personal or weird about the addition, just that it's meant to be kind of casual Side Commentary, not really part of the Main Point Of The Poll, so it would feel kind of weird for it to be emphasized by being included in reblogs unless the reblogs were explicitly about the side commentary, etc..... if that makes sense.. ANYWAY!)
It's neat to read the written descriptions that people are mentioning in the tags, since it's almost like I can see or conceptualize the idea as well, but it's just.. I'm not SEEING it.
Like for example: I can imagine a vase, it's a muted mint green and slightly translucent, elaborate golden birds sprawled down the side in streaks of thin rough watery paint, the base material shimmers gently in the light, there's a small chip where it's cracked on the handle, etc, etc. .. But as I'm thinking about this I see literally nothing.
It seems like perhaps some people can visualize an object first, and THEN describe what they see. But I sort of work backwards. I am building the object in my mind, I can never see it, but it's a collection of concepts. Rather than visualizing all details as a whole at once, I am adding each detail one by one, building onto the IDEA of the thing.
The vase doesn't have a crack on the handle because I just automatically visualized a vase with a crack. It was more that I cognitively understand the concept of a vase, what they tend to be made out of, how they tend to look and feel, the properties they have. So based purely on that knowledge, I can imagine "a chip is something that a vase could have, it would look this way and behave this way" - more like... I'm constructing a bullet point Fact List about the object rather than seeing it.
So if you tell me to imagine an object, I can, in a way, imagine that object in great detail, but it's just.. I'm not SEEING those details, more just knowing it's qualities in a purely conceptual way. Sometimes in the tags when people are like "yeah I can see the skin of the apple, texture, little dots on the surface" it's like… I can imagine that too, I can know it's there, but just with no visual attached.
I guess rather than SEEING something and going ''ah. I know what this looks like because I have seen it''. I more just skip that visual step entirely and go ''I know what this looks like, I just randomly have a list of information about the concept in my mind.'' etc. Maybe similar to how sometimes in dreams, even though a house may look completely different and be in an entirely fake 'dreamlike' environment, you just somehow KNOW intuitively that it's meant to be your childhood home or something. Even when it looks nothing like it in reality. There's a built-in base knowledge of the properties or information of some things within a dreaming mind, etc.
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This also makes me wonder about like.. how storytelling and myth is so important to cultures all across time. Or how this could tie also into concepts of religion.. etc. etc. If so many people really can kind of conjure these vivid images in their mind, then maybe that's part of why certain things are so meaningful to them? Like a "religious experience" being something you can actually really SEE/feel/lingering with you in your head, rather than just abstract words on a page, detached purely theoretical ideas, etc... hmmm
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Plus also just for average emotional stuff too, even outside of broader cultural conceptual attachments..
Like, I don't think there's a direct 1 to 1 link (obviously not all people with mental illnesses that significantly reduce their emotional or expressive capacity also MUST have aphantasia or vice versa), but it's interesting as someone who DOES also have a much more lessened emotional range/pretty flat affect/etc. etc. to think like.. Maybe I WOULD be more emotional, in a way, if I could have these vivid experiences..?
Perhaps memories would hold deeper significance if they could really stay with me vividly. Or storytelling would evoke more of a deep emotional reaction to me if I could really picture and feel the things that are going on. If things were more TANGIBLE in my brain, rather than always merely conceptual highly abstracted ideas.
Kind of like, it's probably easier to get over the death of a pet or something, if after not seeing them for an hour you already don't remember what they looked like (beyond just a vague fact list of traits), and you have no vivid memories or mental reminders of them (beyond just factual information stores). COGNTIVIELY you can appreciate the idea of their absence, of course, you still miss them, but there's just no remaining visceral sensory ties. A very "out of sight, out of mind" sort of thing in terms of attachments, memories, emotions, etc. Maybe certain things are easier to "get over", when you're not having constant mental sensory reminders that occasionally rekindle your feelings about the event or etc.??
(like for example, maybe someone could remain angry about an argument longer if they could vividly replay it in their head over and over again. VS just like.. 'Yes I can factually recall the fact I had an argument, and I do have knowledge stored about what precisely was said, but any sort of sensory data such as sights/smells/feelings, etc. from the actual moment of the event are long gone and can never be conjured again in my mind." etc.)
Which again, I think lessened emotional permanence and image permanence in the mind are NOT inherently linked, can all be caused by different things for different people. And, since I can't visualize anything in my head, maybe I'm misunderstanding how it happens and the effect it may have on stuff like remembering things you miss or replaying arguments, etc. etc. But it's still a little interesting to think about, if they could influence each other to some degree.... :0c --
Lastly, It's also weird because I'm actually pretty good at estimating distance and spaces? I can quickly assemble furniture without an instruction manual, pretty easily have a concept of how much space a chair may take up in a room, how two mechanical parts might fit together - BUT, I am literally not actually visualizing anything. I cannot see 3D objects in my mind at ALL. It's like.. just based on the pure List Of Facts About Things Which I Have Observed.. I can intuitively go "oh this works like this/this is this size" just because.. I know it's that size. I don't have to see anything to know..?
But then on the other hand, I'm terrible at directions without a map (I guess because a 3d outdoor environment has WAY more complexity than like.. "Will this square fit into another square?"etc. lol ).
BUT, I also draw/sculpt/etc. entirely without references, and seem to do mostly okay at that..? Like.. I can't even remember the last time I actually used a reference or looked at anything whilst drawing. It's all muscle memory, and me just adjusting as I go until something "looks right" on paper, I never have a set image in my head (or external reference) before hand.. Hrmm....
AND.. I used to say that I had a photographic memory when I was younger, which I know NOW is not true (I always thought it was just an expression, not that people could literally see things in a photographic way). But what I was describing is, I do often associate information with imagery, just... without imagery....
Like "Oh, I know that I took my medicine earlier today because I have a distinct memory, a snapshot of a moment in time, of me rattling the pill bottle in my hands as I looked up at a stop sign while in the back seat of a car". When I say this, I can't ACTUALLY see/feel/hear a pill bottle, or vividly picture a stop sign, but it's more just a factual recall, of. Even though I don't see these things, I know they happened, the information of them happening (me hearing a sound and also looking at a stop sign at the same time) has been stored in my brain as a memory, a collection of linked facts. --
As for other senses, I cannot taste or feel anything in my head AT ALL.. wild that some people mention that. I mean, again, I can have a purely factual recall as if reading a textbook, knowing the information of 'X item typically has X texture, therefore I can imagine what it may be like to feel it' or 'X usually has this taste' etc. - but I can never actually experience those senses in any capacity in my mind alone. I would say audio is my strongest mental sense (maybe a 2.5 or 3 (if it were translated onto the above scale where 1 is most vivid and 5 is nothing)), then visual (4.5 at most, usually 5), and then taste and smell and such are just complete 5, absolutely nothing, I didn't even know people could experience taste or feeling just in their mind alone.. lol...
I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :
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(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )
#repeat reblog#Hrmm.... this must be why you all like reading books so much lol… option 5.. so few of us…#Also I wonder if this is why I'm a more detail oriented writer. Like if I was making a story I would first have to plot out information#about the location. draw a map of the room the chararcters are in. sketch the characters. their outfits. do a lot of plotting and planning#about how the world and the setting works and what plants might be there and so on and so forth. Because I'm working#more from a factual knowledge base of like 'bullet point list of things I know about this setting/object/person/etc'#rather than actually just being able to see it in my mind. So to really conceptualize a person/place/thing - I have to build it#from the ground up conceptually. Gathering and organizing all the information about it until I have a Full Mental Concept of it - and THEN#I can work with it from there. But maybe someone who just Pictures all that in their brain from the beginning can kind of skip that step.#Like for example I literally have NO idea what any of my characters look like until I draw them. I have to actively decide what they look#like and think about all of those details and create the List Of Factual Information (black hair. green eyes. this tall. etc.) from scratch#. where the friend I talked to on the phone recently said that they literally just like... picture the character. like they just SEE them#doing stuff and know from there. And of course i have an IDEA of what I may want a characters appearnce to be or properties that would suit#them based on their Concept and Personality. but I literally do not know. And even when writing or thinking about characters doing things#I cannot visualize them no matter how hard I try. It's all theoretical factual recall for me. Also my friend said that to THEM the saying#''the characters write themselves'' was interpreted to mean.. they can literally sit down & watch the characters do things and it's as#if they are just creating a story in their mind from thin air. it writes itself. Where for ME I have always interpreted it to mean ''I have#undertaken the process of analyzing and plotting every detail of this character SO deeply that I know them SO well down to even#how they would walk or hold a pencil. and thus because I have such an intimate understanding of every intricacy of their personality. It's#extremely easy to just Put Them Into A Situation and assume exactly how they'd react/ exactly what they'd say because based#on what has factually been determined about them and their personality/worldview/etc. it's just.. literally automatic. The same way that#if you knew a friend's preferences extremely well you could probably easily predict how they'd respond to a birthday gift'' etc.#hmm.. ANYWAY... Which my friend may be an extreme example. I feel like it'd be obvious even for writers without aphantasia to STILL sit#down and plot out details & intimately understand their characters/setting/etc. But the idea that for ANYONE it's like ''yeah I dont have t#think much about designing the layout of a room/place/etc. I just kind of SEE it in my mind and know automatically''.... wild... lol#It makes it seem like I'm always having to do like 500 tons of extra work that other people can just skip .. oughh#''well after writing them for a YEAR and fully conceptualizing their personality and going through 15 sketch drafts. i have FINALLY#decided on an appearance for my character'' ... ''erm.. i have been seeing my character since day 1.. what do you mean?'' ... lol#ANYWAY.. and thank you to those who have sent in asks abt your experiences.. very inchresting.. sorry not posting/responding yet since im#still a bit sick feeling and energy is very scattered/low social ability/etc... even this post i typed over the course of days lol..
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