#not really analysis or anything

[sunshinechay]

I have so many thoughts about jengpat this week and none of them articulate enough to make anything of.

Other than saying that while I agree that the pacing is weird this episode, I also think it is kind of the point. At least partially.

I think it’s meant to throw us off but also show us that whole time has passed, Jeng and Pat are not paying attention to that or anything else really as they get more and more lost in their happiness and more sloppy in their attempts to hide it.

The two rushed into things, knowing and not caring that nothing has been resolved because the metaphorical damn finally broke and they didn’t want to try holding back anymore. They just wanted to be together and happy.

In other words, I think the two finally pulled their heads out of their asses and proceeded to shove them into the sand. At least until Pat had no choice but to deal with it since he will have more of the fall out.

Meanwhile Jeng wants to put it off, not because he doesn’t care or doesn’t love Pat but because he’s been through something similar before. I think the reason he left last time was because of love. I don’t think the person he dated worked with him, but the rumours and the way his uncle/the board are treating this. Like they’ve been through this before, like they’re disappointed all over again because Jeng didn’t learn his lesson and didn’t learn how to not be gay while he was gone. I genuinely think the root, at least for his dad and his uncle, had less to with him dating someone in his department and more to do with the fact that Pat is a guy. Hence Jeng’s attempt to hide it and not think about it and to assure his uncle that it’s just rumours. He wants to protect Pat from his family but forgets to protect Pat from his employees. Not in purpose but by accident because he focused on the people who will hurt them the most, his family.

[sauronism]

celebrimbor pointing out the imperfection in sauron's fabricated reality, as both of them match in skills as a creator. sauron can craft the most appealing illusion in the entire world, but celebrimbor will always sees right through the deception, due to sauron's need for order. the reality he crafted is perfect. too perfect. nothing in this world is perfect. the patterns of the mouse, and the candle is the flaw within his works. celebrimbor merely critiques it.

[idiotsonlyevent]

it is completely understandable to be uncomfortable with the sexual assault in dandadan. it's important to discuss how it's framed, whether it's handled poorly, or if it could be been portrayed better. but the number of people - even fans - stating that it is only fanservice, irrelevant, or could be removed is frankly bizarre to for SO many reasons, starting with the fact that this parallel exists.

the anime made it even more obvious by interpolating cuts from the first scene into the second one.

i thought this scene showed that momo gaining her powers by believing in her relationship with her grandmother gives her the strength to fight back against what is basically a horrific, much more aggressive and abstract (maybe even absurd?) representation of her shitty gross ex - who was demanding she 'put out' and pay for the love hotel in very first scene.

while the escalation from one scene to the next is surprising, it's not something that comes out of nowhere. this first scene is meant to be a set-up to what will happen later. it sets the tone, though significantly more lighthearted at this point. it tells you that sex, sexuality, etc. is something dandadan will touch on - though you don't know what the scope and depth will be until later in the chapter.

i cannot recommend this video enough, as it discusses some interesting interpretations of what the serpoians and turbo granny represent in their respective assault scenes, as well as how right now the treatment of both scenes is unfortunately uneven.

more notes about plot and thematic relevance below the cut. spoilers for anime-onlies (up to chapter 8, will probably be covered in episodes 4/5).

momo was assaulted, and almost cut up by the serpoians, much like the other victims turbo granny appeared around. this is an intentional parallel. turbo granny goes to momo because that is what she does. again, SUPER unclear how that factors into turbo granny's assault of ken, but if we keep the video's interpretation of cynicism in mind, it could be related to that; maybe turbo granny has a cynicism toward men - similar to momo in chapter/episode 1 - and this is why she chose to attack ken. unfortunately, it's still too early to really understand and explain a lot of her motivations.

again, completely understandable to not like how the sexual assault was handled or portrayed, and it's important to keep discussing it. but this is what dandadan does for many different types of trauma and difficult life experiences. this is a huge part of dandadan's identity. if you don't like it, that is fine, but calling the sexual assault 'just fan service' is blatantly untrue.

[irafuwas]

some thoughts on how lilia views love

I’ve been watching through the Stitch event and there’s a bit of dialogue Lilia says that unfortunately made me Think, so I wanted to gather my babblings here.

This post contains spoilers for: Book 7, Tsumsted Wonderland 2, Lost in the Book with Stitch, Spectral Soiree/Endless Halloween, and Tamashina Mina

After spending the day fighting off Gantu’s robots, scavenging for food, and exploring the island, the boys rest for a bit in an old cottage they found. Lilia wants to take the opportunity to spruce up the cottage and make it more resort-like while they’re enjoying this “vacation”, and Riddle and Jack are both surprised and a bit peeved to hear him say this.

Riddle: Don’t you want to find a way off this island as soon as possible, Lilia Senpai? Malleus Senpai, Silver, and Sebek… Everyone at Diasomnia must be worried sick about you right now. I should think you’d want to assuage their concerns a tad bit faster!

Lilia: …Thing is, I trust them.

Riddle: You trust them?

Lilia: Mm-hmm. Knowing them, no doubt they understand I’m safe and sound and having a good time right now. Malleus and the others know I’m not the type of guy who’d get in a pickle over something as trivial as this. And that’s because they know me very, very well – just like family!

(snipped)

Lilia: It’s truly wonderful having people in your life who trust you and wish the best for you - and for whom you do the same in return - no matter how far apart you may be.

When you take this dialogue and look at in isolation of this event, then it’s a wonderful thing to hear Lilia say. He trusts his boys and they trust him - because they’re family, and that’s what families do. It’s always great to hear the characters themselves acknowledge their strong bonds with each other, and I thought it was really cute how Stitch got so happy to hear Lilia talking about his Ohana.

But when you take what he said and consider the broader story of Twisted Wonderland (vignettes and events, included), and you consider other things he’s said and done in the past… This dialogue just hurts.

There’s been small moments here and there that made me think Lilia has kind of an unhealthy(?) or warped(?) view of love. I’m not sure what the best word for it is, but I’ve noticed that he doesn’t like people worrying over him, he doesn’t like emotional farewells/sappiness, and he really doesn’t like letting others see him when he’s weak.  Additionally, he seems to value himself very little – he doesn’t think people would be worried about him if he were in danger, or that people would be happy getting pictures of him, or that his departure in Book 7 would hurt those around him so much. I’ll go ahead and put examples for each point so you all can understand better what I’m trying to say.

He doesn’t like people worrying about him

We can see this partly from the quote this whole post is based on, as well as from Book 7.

Based on his conversation with Riddle, Lilia’s way of thinking appears to be:

If someone trusts me -> that means they wouldn’t worry about me

As well as:

If someone worries about me -> that means they don’t trust me

But we do worry about the people we love and care about, don’t we? We worry about our spouses getting home safely from a business trip, and our kids making friends at school, and our friends acing the interview they’ve been practicing for because we love them, don’t we? And because we want the best for them. But it doesn’t seem like Lilia thinks the same way.

And to add onto this point, it’s very clear the boys do worry about Lilia a lot, contrary to what Lilia claims. Due to Lilia’s departure, Malleus brought a snowstorm to the island in his sadness, Silver considered dropping out of school and leaving with his father, only to end up breaking down and crying in front of their crown prince of all people, and Sebek used his one wish to make Lilia be healthy and have him stay with Silver forever. They were all worried terribly about him in their own ways, but it doesn’t seem like Lilia ever noticed (or maybe he did, and just didn’t want to bring it up for some reason. Who knows.)

At any rate, he also gets mad (well, more like tsundere lol) at Silver when the boy was on the verge of tears after Lilia took a nasty hit for him. (I know this exchange occurred with General Vanrouge, and he was quite the asshole back then, but he’s still retained that dislike for people worrying over him.)

Lilia: Oh, would you quit it with the sniveling. I drank the potion, didn’t I? I just to rest for a little bit, and then I’ll be good as new.

He doesn’t like emotional farewells/sappiness

He exhibits his distaste of sappiness in Book 7 and the Welcome to Tsumsted Wonderland 2 event. In the latter, when everyone is saying goodbye to their tsums, he mentions he doesn’t like the gloomy atmosphere. He wants goodbyes to be happy (and most likely, free of any emotional weight). The same can be said in Book 7, when he wholeheartedly agrees to the going away party the students wanted to put on for him, as well as when Silver mentions his father had wanted them all to send him off with a smile. I’m not sure if Lilia just doesn’t enjoy people getting serious with their emotions towards him, or if he doesn’t like seeing it in general. It gives me Macho Man (tm) vibes, kind of? Like, “don’t let people see you cry and feel sad because then you look weak” kind of thing but idk.

Lilia: Farewells are certainly sorrowful, but I hate leaving things on such a gloomy note. Let’s keep our chins up until the end. Tsum, your ability to surprise others was exceptional, and you made today so much fun. So long!

He really doesn’t like letting others see him when he’s weak

There’s still a lot of loose ends to be resolved in Book 7, one of them being the full extent of Lilia’s motives for wanting to leave so suddenly. It does seem to be he’s telling the truth that his magic ran out early, since he couldn’t muster up enough strength to fight back against Malleus when he was about to Overblot, but we don’t know if the real reason for that is just because he “went a little to wild” in his youth, like he claimed, or if something else caused his magic to deplete so prematurely. But we did hear him reveal a little bit of his motives when he was talking to Floyd at the party.

Floyd was dismayed he never got a chance to fight Lilia, and he wished he could’ve seen Lilia go all out at least once. When he asks Lilia why he’s dropping out, Lilia says under his breathe that he didn’t want “them” to see him so weak.

Lilia (whispering to himself): …It’s because I didn’t want them to see me so feeble.

Regardless of why his magic ran out and why he wants to go the Land of Red Dragons of all places, we know part of the reason for his departure is because he doesn’t want Malleus and the others to see how far he’d fallen from his former military glory. (sidebar: I have a feeling he thought he’d be a burden on Silver and co. with him losing his magic, and he was trying to leave so quickly to escape his shame towards his rapid loss of strength and independence (I imagine since he’s a magical being who comes from a country that runs on magic, him losing his powers must feel very isolating and limiting, like he’s lost a lot of the control he used to have over his own life).)

He doesn’t think people would be worried about him if he were in danger

In Endless Halloween/Spectral Soiree, Lilia was surprised by how much Silver and the others had been worrying about him and Malleus when they disappeared. Interestingly, even though Lilia is the one that Silver was the most relieved to see (it’s hard to tell with the live 2d models, but it looked like he went up to hug? Lilia and Lilia slapped his hand away), Lilia later says “I didn’t think you’d be so worried about us.” (referring to himself and the others involved with the party shenanigans).

(I am aware they changed this line to “I didn’t think you’d be so worried about me” In TWST EN, but I’m just focusing on the JP version).

I just found it weird that even though Silver was very clearly worried about Lilia the most, Lilia kind of redirected Silver’s concern over from “Lilia” to “Lilia and everyone else”. Did it make him uncomfortable to hear Silver was that worried about him? I’m not sure, but it just stood out to me as being a little strange how he responded, and how surprised he was that his own son would get worried about him suddenly disappearing.

He didn’t think people would be happy getting pictures of him

At the end of Lilia’s Tamashina Mina vignette, Yuu stops by Diasomnia to give him some photos he’d taken of Lilia on their trip, and Sebek, Silver, and Malleus are delighted to see them, since it’s not often they get to see photos of Lilia. Lilia is surprised at how happy they are to receive those pictures of himself. But why wouldn’t they be happy? They love him and treasure him dearly, of course they’d be overjoyed to have pictures of him to remember him by. It’s like he thought they wouldn’t care about him that much, which is really bizarre, considering the whole “even if we’re not related by blood we’re still family” thing he told Malleus before.

Lilia: To think, you’d all be so delighted just to see some pictures of me. I never would’ve imagined you’d all react like this.

He didn’t think his departure in Book 7 would hurt those around him so much

This relates back to what I mentioned in the first point, but there’s one scene that demonstrates this perfectly.

After Silver breaks down in front of Malleus, Malleus teleports both of them to Lilia’s going away party. All eyes should have been on Malleus with how strangely he was acting, but the first thing Lilia honed in on was that Silver had been crying. And not only that, but Lilia looked surprised that Silver had been crying. And why wouldn’t he cry? The one person who formed Silver’s entire world and sun and stars was about to leave him and go die all by himself on the other side of the planet. There is no reason Lilia should’ve been surprised at Silver’s tears, yet he was. And I gather that’s because he never thought the boy could ever possibly want to choose to stay by his side, to choose him over all the hopes and dreams he’d burdened on the poor child from the moment he could walk, to choose him over his real friends and his real family members.

I hope when Lilia “wakes up” from his dream, the first he does is ask Silver what he’d been crying about back at the party. And I pray to god they will actually talk things out and Lilia will finally apologize for how much of a complete idiot he’s been acting.

My headache’s coming back so to wrap this up quickly, my current understanding of Lilia Vanrouge is that he either doesn’t realize just how loved and cherished he is by his family members, or that he does realize it and just pretends not to. If it’s the latter, which is what I personally lean towards, I think he does this as a means to protect himself.

He’s already lost so many of his loved ones, and he very well may be putting up these walls around his heart and pushing away the people who love him just so he doesn’t have to get hurt again. We don’t know how he became an orphan, but his birth family either gave him up or passed away and left him behind. Even when Queen Maleficia took him in, he was always made the scapegoat for the princess’s schemes, and it sounded like he was brought up more as Levan and Mallenoa’s inferior than their equal. And then war struck their nation. And then his one best friend went missing and the other one probably gave up her life trying to protect the very child who'd go on to shatter the ice surrounding his wounded heart.

Perhaps with Malleus and Silver and Sebek now, he thought his best option would be to exit their lives before they had a chance to do the same to him, because he knew they would do the same to him. Everyone does.

As a final note, I still keep going to back to what he said in Cater’s Halloween vignette. I think this one line sums up his views of love better than I ever could:

“But the more precious a bond is, the more pain it can inflict.”

(source)

[mellohiizz]

mel mellohiizz............ can i beg for uu!parrot and uu!clownpierce art

i love the parallels between them, it's so fun to think about

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

Okay now that I've reblogged that one post...

Holy shit

Like, please understand me. This is how I already interpreted these relationships after reading Journal 3 but like

Wow Ford really was in a weird kinda complicated gay situationship with Bill and Fiddleford, huh? When he's all alone on Christmas in tbob he's all like "Oh yeah haha of course...of course. You have. Yeah. You have a wife, F. How could I expect you not to leave. I am totally not secretly hoping you'll turn around and come back to me, or that you'll even bring your family back here if you have to so I can see you. I'd retreat to my dreams but I haven't seen my muse in weeks and I miss him so badly. I'm so alone"

He and Fiddleford aren't even dating but it's hard not to get the light impression that this situationship is such that Ford kinda treats Bill like his comfort triangle from his head and dreams and Fiddleford like his comfort best friend in his lab. Like he's sad on Christmas that his boyfriends left him alone, you know? Of course it's definitely more complicated than just that, but they are dear companions to him

Or when Bill finally comes back and Ford is pissed

"You return now? After all of that, after me missing you so badly, almost dying, wondering if I'd dreamed it all up. You return now like it was no biggie? Did you ever mean the things you said? Did you not find some other scientist or some other big brain to talk up? Have you found someone else? Another partner?"

And then Bill, dodging the question was like "Funny you think I'm cheating on you as if you haven't been spending all that time with F. The side bitch. The third wheel. You've even considered telling him everything, even though you know he has second thoughts. Heh. A little birdie told me he dreams of shutting down the project even."

Leading Ford to be like "Aw hell how could I accuse my muse of such a terrible thing when I haven't been a saint. He's right! F has been much less motivated lately and I've just gotten so paranoid from the isolation. I'm so sorry for my baseless accusations."

I don't even have a lot to say I just love these three. Fiddleford put up with a lot of shit from Ford while also dealing with his own problems and trying to help him regardless, while Stanford saw him as a comfort and a good friend but ultimately someone who was of lesser mind than he and couldn't see things through his eyes, while Bill was in Stanford's corner actively making him worse and contributing to his isolation (trying to get him to drop Fiddleford and actively feeding his paranoia), while Stanford was seeing both relationships of his with stars in his eyes and rose tinted glasses because he refused to do some introspection

There's so much stuff that journal 3 and tbob added to the equation that's just bad/shitty all around. Can't believe Ford went through a double divorce/breakup despite not having ever been married (or, at least, despite not even officially dating them sorta)

The entire situation in the past is just tragic and hilarious and concerning all at once and that's what I like the portal trio for tbh

[luna-spacedoodles]

monty and esther’s relationship is sooo interesting to me even if it doesn’t have lots of time to be explored. a kind of mother-son dynamic

like monty’s been esther’s crow for some time before we meet them only as her familiar but for a less than a week he’s human teen. he still works as her little helper but now there’s a boy in her house that she got at least a few clothes for from somewhere somehow. she doesn’t expect this to last long. he sleeps in his own room now and has a library card and talks back when she talks to him and has a genuine love for astrology. he still perches on chairs instead of sitting in them when he’s in the house and has black hair.

esther brought him into a human body and he blames her for all these human emotions he has to deal with. she takes him out of the world she gave him and it’s back to being a crow in a cage. he wants to be in love with edwin and for edwin to be in love with him back and he doesn’t want to follow esther’s plan to really kill him. he also has no one else to look up to, to follow, to learn from. he doesn’t want to make her mad because he knows the exact extent of what she can do to him and what she will do to him. he wants to make her proud, that he can capture edwin and charles.

esther wastes no time turning him back onto a crow if he fails her. she still has him come back home. he always does.

[blueskittlesart]

at a certain point i think we need to acknowledge that art is very rarely created accidentally. if you can see a theme in a work than that theme was, more likely than not, at least somewhat intentional on behalf of the creator. you don't put a piece of yourself out into the world without thinking about what it means at least a little bit.

[fumifooms]

Canines

The hand that feeds

Mickbell Tomas & Kuro Dungeon Meshi

^ 1: Ink-the-artist, I will remove my teeth / 2: Margaret Atwood / 3: C.S. Lewis, The Horse and His Boy / 4: Mitski, I’m your man / 5: Ojibwa, I love you like a rotten dog / 6: KotOR II / 7: Stardrop, Everything that’s ever been mine is covered in teeth marks / 8: Sodikken, People Eater / 9: Mitski, I’m your man / 10: maxime., The life and death of a dog / 11: Mitski, I bet on losing dogs / 12: maxime., The life and death of a dog / 13: hun, I did not bite with Malice / 14: C. Michael Davis, Don't Pet the Dragon / 15: Mitski, I’m your man

v 1: Early versions of the myth as in aeschylus orestes / 2: Ink-the-artist, I will not remove my teeth

[transmascutena]

the poor little meow meow-ifictation of saionji in this fandom has got to stop i can't take it any more

[raziiyah]

hey! this is actually something i've thought about quite a lot before so here's how i see it:

since monsters are so diverse in the monster world, there are a vast amount of factors that are considered beautiful. some monsters may like 1 eye, some like 3 eyes and some like 8. some like feathers, scales, or fur. it just comes down to preference. but for monsters, generally, scary = beautiful

firstly, for the teeth thing, i imagined that just like human beauty standards, monster beauty standards can change. perhaps yellow teeth used to be the standard, but then it was discovered that whiter teeth made them more visible and gave them a scarier appearance. also, maybe they discovered that poor dental health caused monsters to lose their teeth sooner, which is a problem if you rely on them for scaring. proper dental care allowed you to stay healthy and kept your teeth in good condition, keeping you in the scaring career for longer. like when sulley is brushing his teeth in mi, mike really emphasizes getting rid of plaque

this change could also be why randall's teeth in mi are visibly whiter than they were in mu

as for female monsters, i see it sorta like how jessica rabbit from who framed roger rabbit is in toon town. she's regarded as very beautiful, but not as desireable or successful (to other toons) as roger rabbit, someone more cartoony and goofy looking

so though the more humanoid looking monsters could be considered beautiful, since being a scarer is known as the biggest achievement a monster could have, if you're scary, you're considered beautiful on a whole other level.

another idea i had is that scaring could be considered as a male dominated career, so the scary/beauty standards for female monsters aren't as scrutinized as much as male monsters. this could be why there are more female monsters that aren't necessarily as "scary looking"

this could also play a role into why the pnk's are so cutthroat- with a more conventionally beautiful appearance, they might not be considered the most successful in monster society. sure they could be models and movie stars

(though i can still see """scary/conventionally unattractive""" monsters being just as viable as models and moviestars in the monster world, maybe even more so),

but since scarers are the creme de la creme, "prettier" monsters could sometimes be seen as beautiful but maybe not typically the image of someone "successful" or "desireable" (my oc lia is a scarer and has a body type similar to the pnks so i made this an insecurity of hers hehe)

but monsters can combat this by showing their scariness through their glowing eyes, teeth, claws, etc. this could be valuable as well as there's a scary/surprising factor to appearing "innocent" at first, which could be advantageous in scaring, if you know how to use it (like the pnk's in the toxicity challenge or terri and terry in the scare simulator)

also considering the movie poster seen in maw; it's about monsters in space, likely referring to aliens. humans could be considered aliens/alien-looking to monsters because they come from another world, and heather has a more humanoid appearance

on the other hand, hss is more favored as "one of the most powerful, scary monsters in campus, and they have a more traditionally "scary" appearance. and in monsters at work, of the female monsters in the mu sororities, rosie levin was the one who made it to the same scare/(laugh) floor that sulley/(mike) are/(were) on, at monsters inc.

so really i think beauty is subjective in the monster world since everyone is so different. conventionally beautiful monsters are still beautiful, maybe even some monster's preference, but scary monsters are generally favored most, because of how much monster society is centered around scaring. after all, "scariness is the true measure of a monster."

@moonlight-monster @randall-simp-nadt88

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

What can I say? They're my favorite.

[mariathechosen1]

Digging too deep:

Philosophical obsession to the point of self destruction

[Image description: A collage consisting of 10 different photographs and quotes, all related to digging and holes. From top to bottom:

A wikipedia headline that says “Law of Holes”.

A close up of a shovel, digging into loose dirt.

An excerpt from a wikipedia article about the law of holes: The law of holes or the first law of holes, is an adage which states: "if you find yourself in a hole, stop digging." It is used as a metaphor, warning that when in an untenable position, it is best to stop making the situation worse.”

A lyrics excerpt from ‘The Song With Five Names’ by Will Wood: You can break a shovel when you break new ground / You dig dirt up when you dig deep down / You should know better than that by now / It's not profound to know that you could never know!

A blurry photograph of a dark rectangular hole in the ground, seemingly a grave. The hole is so dark the bottom of it isn’t visible. Besides the hole there is a pile of dirt.

A lyrics excerpt from ‘Hand Me My Shovel, I’m Going In!’ by Will Wood and The Tapeworms: Gotta get to the bottom of this/ Gotta get to the bottom of this / Gotta get to the bottom of this / Gotta gotta get, gotta gotta get, gotta get / Gotta get to the bottom of this / Gotta gotta get, gotta gotta get, gotta get / Gotta get to the bottom of this / Gotta gotta get, gotta gotta get, gotta get / Gotta get to the bottom of this / If it kills me

An excerpt from a wikipedia article about the law of holes: The second law of holes is commonly known as: "when you stop digging, you are still in a hole."

A photograph of a deep round hole. There’s a ladder going down into it and the bottom of the hole isn’t visible.

An excerpt from the transcript of episode 88 of The Magnus Archives: It was very strange. It was just the one word, solid capital letters in a small, neat typeface at the very centre of the page. It said ‘DIG’. I took that to be the title, and turned to the next page. ‘DIG’. Exactly the same. The third page. ‘DIG’. The fourth page. ‘DIG’. Dig, dig, dig, dig.

A lyrics excerpt from ‘Hand Me My Shovel, I’m Going In!’ by Will Wood and The Tapeworms: Looking down I could say heaven sent me / Hand me my shovel, I’m going in!

/end ID]

[‘Law of Holes’ - Wikipedia, ‘The Song with Five Names, a​.​k​.​a. Soapbox Tao, a​.​k​.​a. Checkmate Atheists! a​.​k​.​a. Neospace Government, a​.​k​.​a. You Can Never Know’ - Will Wood and the Tapeworms, ‘Hand Me My Shovel, I’m Going In!’ - Will Wood and the Tapeworms, MAG 88 ‘Dig’ - The Magnus Archives]

[bonefall]

What did Sagewhisker do? All I remember was that she was Yellowfang's mentor, and I used to love YS. (I was a lot younger at the time, though.)

oH Lord, a lot of people who read YS when they were younger kinda don't pick up on how shitty Sagewhisker is. It goes over their heads that she is the one who's actually responsible for Yellowfang being forced to be distant from Brokenkit

From a young age, Sagewhisker is pressuring Yellowpaw to be a medcat, when she doesn't want to

Yellow LIKES the satisfaction of healing itself, but LOVES being a warrior more.

She's a fantastic hunter, has always wanted a family, and is just genuinely filled with a lot of self-satisfaction when she gets to do her warrior duties.

(They also had to retcon the stupidest magic power, super-empathy, into Yellowfang so that she nonsensically wouldn't like fighting. Yellowfang. The cat whose first appearance in TPB is attacking Firepaw and didn't hesitate to blind Brokenstar. THAT Yellowfang.)

In contrast, when she starts healing, she's constantly filled with shame or horror. She also gets bullied viciously by several cats, while others do that Thing that an older family member does when they don't like what you're doing. You know;

"Ohhh that's so good, for you. If it makes you happy it's good!! I mean, but, wouldn't you rather do Other Thing? I mean no, I understand, you like This thing, but Other thing would... no no it's okay, nevermind. I'm happy for you."

This while she's already courting Raggedpelt, and planning a future with him.

So to begin with, she has a lot of negative feelings when Sagewhisker tries to pressure her into this role, especially as Sage insists she "Wants HER" and "It's your destiny." But that's not all;

When Cloudpaw (later Cloudpelt) gets viciously mauled and might not survive, Sagewhisker takes one look and says, "It might be kinder to let StarClan take him now."

Yellowfang is FURIOUS at how quickly Sagewhisker gave up, and Sage just waves this away with "oh I won't stop you but be prepared for heartbreak lol"

Sage continues to tell her shit like "You can't save every cat" after Cloudpaw's mother sees her son all cheese-grated up.

So... either Sagewhisker was going to just leave Cloudpaw there to bleed out or die of infection, OR she was implying euthanasia.

And it's probably euthanasia, because when Yellowfang is pregnant later, she says,

Sooooo... considering how WEIRD WC generally is about abortion, acting like it's not even an option and giving Clear Sky some Angel Fetus Children in DOTC...

Sagewhisker was probably implying that Yellowfang would smother infants. Or do whatever Sagewhisker was planning to do with Cloudpaw.

I don't even know if pressuring Yellowfang into an abortion would have been better... honestly this exchange is uncomfortable no matter how you slice it.

It gets worse ofc. Yellowfang gets this warning from StarClan about how “Only one thing can stop the tide of hatred this birth cursed cat will bring: the courage of a mother to know her destiny.” Silverflame also suggests just being his friend, if she can't be his mother.

Forget that though, because Sagewhisker continues to snap at Yellowfang and remind her that she can't look at him for too long, else people will get suspicious or something.

"It's a woman's responsibility to have children for our glorious war society, Yellowfang, unless they have A RARE GIFT THAT MUST NOT BE WASTED."

In the same conversation she's then like, "Also don't go into the nursery, the child I forced you to give up needs a chance to bond with the abusive foster who hates his little guts."

In general Sagewhisker also prevents Yellowfang from standing up for herself or her position in a way that is absolutely infuriating. Foxheart comes in and starts bellowing about "HOW DARE YOU HAVE APPRENTICES RUN ERRANDS FOR YOU?" and Sage is just like, "Turn the other cheek uwu"

Yellowfang is punished constantly for the sin of being Yellowfang. She is not allowed to be snarky at all. It fucking sucks. This book is MISERABLE

SO basically, Sagewhisker forces her into a role she isn't very happy in, stops her from standing up for herself ever, guilts Yellowfang over "wasting her special gift," gives up on cases that are too hard for her, suggests killing kits, says some wildly misogynistic stuff, prevents Yellowfang from doing anything about Brokenkit, and then dies.

She's the worst and no one ever talks about how fucked up this character is. and I really mean AS A CHARACTER

Because her PURPOSE in the story is to do all of these things and be hailed as a good mentor in the end. But the fandom is REALLY bad at analyzing characters as narrative tools.

She's right to pressure Yellowfang into her role, with the ending comic even trying to have Sagewhisker apologize for pressuring her and Yellow going "d'aww dwai you didn't force me into anything 8) ignore the entire fucking book before this point"

Giving up on a battered teenager is supposed to show Yellowfang's talent and resolve, not reflect poorly on Sagewhisker.

WC fully believes that "wisdom" she espouses about Lizardfang. Lizardfang is a bad woman because she doesn't accept her place as a queen. This kind of guilt and blame is reserved exclusively for mothers in WC, not fathers, note how Mudclaw doesn't help at all but no one gives a shit.

Killing the baby would have been the best option because, again, Brokenkit is BORN. EVIL.

I'm pretty convinced that "Courage of a mother to KNOW HER DESTINY" refers to the fact she is supposed to be a medcat, who kills her child. What FINALLY ends Brokenstar's reign of terror is being poisoned-- not the kindness she was finally able to show him in TPB while he was prisoner.

So Sagewhisker guilt-tripping Yellowfang into a position she doesn't like, keeping her away from her child, suggesting murdering the baby... that's all good, actually. That's something that is framed as correct.

And I think people really sleep on it. Sagewhisker is like this perfect little encapsulation of how shitty clan culture is in WC, an enforcer of the series' misogyny while being a woman herself, someone who makes Yellowfang's wife HELL.

But because she didn't do it violently, no one notices it.

[ratwars]

I srsly cannot stop thinking about this panel. How long has Fyodor been trying to get to Atsushi? The shit with telling Shibusawa about him, the stuff with the bounty, the three way phone call with Agatha and Fitzgerald, him fucking with the Moby Dick as well. It also makes me wonder too because there had to have been a way to just scoop him up waaaaay earlier. But instead he has done so much and created this absolutely apocalyptic scenario, pushed him to the brink, and THEN showed up, with imo very intentional body language and presentation. The running thread in the background of this entire series so far was Fyodor stalking Atsushi and now they are face to face finally.

[mari-lair]

We are told at the very start of the manga that "if you want to know a person, you need to find out what makes them angry"

So I want to talk about Gon, and what makes him angry.

Gon is hard to anger, especially for a kid: He wasn't angry at his dad for abandoning him and never visiting, he wasn't angry at Mito for lying that his parents died, he wasn't angry when Leorio made everyone lose 50 hours at the trick tower despite revealing later in Hanzo's fight that his hope to meet his 'amazing hunter dad' would vanish if couldn't finish the exam on his first try like Ging did (there is no "better luck in the next exam" for Gon), he never gets jealous when Killua shows more strength or knowledge than him even though they are the same age and he used to be very powerful on his little island, and so on.

But it's not hard for Gon to get angry for others: Be it angry for their safety or about people disrespecting their wishes. Especially if they are his friends.

His anger is stronger when his friend's lives are at risk, their safety triumphs over his wish to respect what they want.

But he doesn't care about his own life.

He is never angry when people hurt him. As Hanzo had put it, even injuries as severe as broken bones don't matter to Gon.

But Gon was visibly frustrated in Hanzo's fight.

He wants to win. And he wants to be the one to win not for Hanzo to forfeit. He wants to earn his license, he need proof that he is strong, capable, and worthy of being in the last phase, aware he was only here because Hisoka let him pass.

The person Gon feels the most anger towards at the end of the exam is himself for being a hunter but not feeling like he is worth of the title.

Gon is always the most angry at himself.

When Kite kills a foxbear, punching Gon for trespassing in their territory, Gon isn't angry at him or the fox bear that attacked him, he puts the full blame on himself and tries to make up for it by raising Kon.

When Killua goes 'back home' he gets angry at Illumi for making Killua do things he doesn't want, but he also blames himself for not being there for Killua when his fight with Illumi happened.

Similarly, his instinct when he learned, without a doubt, that Kite is beyond saving, was to blame himself.

He isn't thinking about Pitou, isn't even seeing them, blinded by Kite and his own guilt.

This quest for 'revenge' was never about Pitou, it was always about healing Kite. And since Pitou can't heal the dead, Gon blames himself, he is angry at himself.

Pitou is the one that killed him. Killua was the one that was terrified by Pitou's aura and knocked Gon unconscious to run. Kite was the one that told them to run. Gon is far from the "reason kite died" but he loves and respect Kite and Killua, so he obviously doesn't see anything wrong, he never once blames Killua for what happened.

In fact... He had thanked him

And Gon is genuinely grateful here.

It breaks my heart how much he loves and trusts his friends, eager to share all his good times and victories with them. Wanting them by his side always, no matter how personal his journey is.

But when something bad happens he wants to 'make it better' alone. Is never "we will fix this" is always "I will", because he doesn't want to trouble them, be it by his own emotions, or outside dangers.

Gon never blames his friends, so he is the one responsible when bad things happen, the only one that needs to fix any problem. And if death is a risk, he will immediately assign the lethal job to himself, and himself only.

Gon isolates himself when things get hard but he still doesn't want to be alone. He craves company and support more than ever when he is hurt.

But he doesn't like to feel weak or helpless, so asking for help or opening up is extremely hard. He mostly just gets angry at himself for feeling how he feels and refuse to make it someone else's problem.

He didn't cry after stealing Hisoka's badge but he was feeling helpless and unworthy so he sucked it up and went to do better, it was only after Kurapika asked directly if he was okay that he lowered his walls and found himself crying.

He is just a kid, he can't process his self hate, frustration, or guilt well, and his way to feel better is to help others, be useful and powerful. But sometimes that's not enough, or he simply can't help.

So he constantly finds himself in situations where he gets injured, physical pain is something that he is more used to, that it's easier to process: He let a foxbear cub claws his shoulders after his actions make Kite kill the cub's mother, he let 'puppet kite' hit him even when he learned its robotic attack pattern, he feels weak and frustrated because 'The Bomber' wasn't taking him seriously and he hates feeling weak, so he delayed Killua's plan and got his hands destroyed to prove to himself that he can do it.

But helping others is still the clear priority over hurting himself: The best example to show this is when he visits the Zoldycks. He never took his anger about the Zoldyck family's isolation on Canary when he visited Killua, letting her knock him down again and again in silence for a while before expressing his frustrations with how unfair it is that he need to go through trials to visit a friend.

And when Killua's mom visited, he prioritized canary over his goal.

Gon is just... kind. Is far easier for him to care about strangers than it is for him to be angry.

Gon is smart, but he is not the best at figuring out people when they don't tell him how they feel, especially when Gon is annoyed or unsatisfied.

So I am not surprised he assumed cool-headed killua, who hides all his pain and is so reliable and mature, "always cleaning up Gon's mess", wasn't in pain in the chimera ant arc. It’s like having someone say “be calm” when you’re angry, stating cold facts that only make you feel more incompetent in your emotional state.

It hurt because it feels like Killua, whose opinion Gon values so much, doesn't care about Kite, his super important mentor figure. And since Pitou’s behavior makes it so he can’t use them as an outlet for his emotions, this hint of anger and betrayal at Killua makes him lash out without thinking about his friend.

But even in his blinding guilt and hatred, Killua is important enough to still be able to calm him down, and reminds him of his goal.

Gon doesn't understand Killua is hurt (since killua doesn't tell him) but at least... He is not alone.

"I can't wait" --> He genuinely feels like Killua is as calm as he pretends to be, only he is the 'helpless and in pain' one in Gon's mind and so Killua could easily wait, but he personally can't. He is alone in his pain.

"how long must we wait?" --> Killua is here. Gon never feels truly alone with Killua by his side, he at least has the comfort of an anchor in these trying times.

Killua, who feels unwanted, hurt, and useless, also misunderstands Gon and leaves when Gon needed company the most. Is none of their faults, but it does make Gon's already incredibly bad state even worst.

There is no one but himself to calm him down when he hit his breaking point, and Gon isn't kind to himself.

His 'fight' with Pitou wasn't revenge. It was a failed attempt to "get kite back" to "fix him" which failed, and he couldn't deal with the resulting grief, so he turned it all into a suicide attempt.

To me, Gon gets angry when he feels inadequate or that a loved one deserves better, he has self-centered tunnel vision when he gets angry, so he doesn't realize his anger-fueled actions might trouble others, but when he does he will make an effort to set aside his own goals for others.

He is a good kid, a genuinely good kid with no self-love that is surrounded by adults that usually view him as a monster or a "admirable powerhouse" first and a child second, and it takes an enormous amount of strain to make him break.

He is a very strong kid, I wanna hug him.