#not quite 100 years but still...
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Not me still thinking about Lestat isolating himself from the world "after the heartbreak of Nicki" and retreating into his coffin, burying himself underground for 100 yearsāand then Louisā entire Dubai penthouse serving as his coffin, down to the rocks he was buried alive with when Claudia was killed lining his meditation space.
ā¦..in 2022, he's still buried alive.
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āāāāāā
itās been 6 years exactly nd i apologize for everything about this
[tw: implied csa]
#i did not work on this fr 6 yrs obvio i jst hated what i did originally nd dropped it forever#bt like last month i thought abt it again nd realized that 6 year promise was coming upā¦.so i debased myself#i still hate this so much :) but i forced myself to do it#rip to the 100 odd ppl who were xcited abt this when i originally posted the sneak peek#i rly wanted to try making something long but i think i shdnt do that n e more lmfaoo#thers a significant quality drop on lots of pages i never quite got around to finalizing n time. sorry. sorry sorry sorryyy#iasip#always sunny#charlie kelly#dennis reynolds#mac mcdonald#mac macdonald#charden#chardennis#trash trio#charmacden#deetress if u squint#fanart#mine#i want to xplore the chardeetress part of their hs more i rly lov that trio#also also i totally lied in the original post talking abt āthese 3 sufferingā it was always focused on the charden trauma connection#sorry mac girlies#i hav complex feelings regarding mac's involvement n th uncle jack side of charlie's childhood#but they r not on display here#gnna hav to draw some cute bb charmac to repent and to self sooth aftr this
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toothache
#vflower#v4 flower#v4flower#vocaloid#vocaloid flower#my art#my designs#ms paint#i'm 100% aware there's gonna be tooth hurty jokes#truth be told i quickly made this because i keep having pain from my wisdom teeth coming out#but honestly i'm quite famous for the many problems i had with my teeth in the past#and i already removed a wisdom tooth a year ago. it's still on my desk#but anyway
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#this question is very hard for me to answer so obviously I have to torment everyone else with it#cause like. like I can really see the potential in either answer. both are feasible#I will say. most realistically. to me. edwin first charles harder#because I thinkā¦..I think the reasoning behind the other way around usually tends to be about how edwin absolutely was slower to bond and#open up in general whereas charles hit the ground fucking running#but i donāt think that particularly applies to their romantic relationship#if you mean āfell forā in a general sense rather than a romantic one then yes 100%#but thatās not what im talking about here#I have a few different reasons but generally I think edwin fell first because likeā¦ the way he attached himself to charles and accepted him#as his person and etc is so unlike him to do with literally anyone- especially at the point where they first met/the first years they knew#each other. charles just seems to have hit him as something very very special and irreplaceable quite quickly for him to open up the way he#did and change and flourish into a fully realized person because of how safe and worthy charles made him feel#he took to charles with an unusual amount of ease and trust and I think that says something about how charles struck his heart Early#whereas with charlesā¦ yes on one hand he did stay on the mortal plane largely because of edwin and absolutely wouldāve been impacted by the#tender act of mercy that was edwin reading to him as he died so he wouldnāt be scared. thatās absolutely what got him to trust edwin and to#want to be with him and protect him and so on#but charles would still do that and be like that under intense platonic circumstances I think#but most importantly I just think charles fell harder. when he fell is less important to me here- more important is that by GOD that boy is#down so fucking bad and outright SAYS IT in so many ways that he doesnāt realizeā the sheer amount he restates how heās content so long as#heās with edwin. how he doesnāt want to be anywhere where edwin canāt follow. would and Did go to hell and back for him. believes him#to be the kindest and most incredible person heās ever met. prioritizes him above anything and everything. etc etc etc#thatās not to say edwin doesnāt feel a similar amount of devotionā but charles just. really loves him with his whole person. loves him as a#fact of his existence and a piece of his very soul#idk man. it just feels like he is so incredibly smitten and he doesnāt even know it.#like I said though I can see both options and give reasons for both options so this question EATS at me I GENUINELY donāt have a super#strong feeling either is absolutely correct. itās so difficult to answer theyāre both so smitten and have such a history and GRAHHHH#payneland#dead boy detectives#rambling#polls
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TRAs talking about how history will judge us poorly reminds me of that quote āisnāt it an amazing coincidence that the good guys won every war?ā
#the winners write history#maybe trans rights will triumph over womenās rights#but that doesnāt mean TRAs are the good guys#power isnāt synonymous with moral righteousness#trans rights#activists#vs#womenās rights#activists isnāt quite the same as a war that wipes out a country#because they still need women to create more transgender people#and despite what#francis fukuyama#said in#the 90s#there is no end of history#the end of history happens when the last human dies#the only constant is change#so yeah in 100 years maybe people will think sex was a social construct#and that men can turn into women with simply a declaration#but then in 200 years people will know#that you canāt change sex#and that women need single sex spaces#who knows#no one can predict the future#politics#feminism#radical feminism#transgender#musings
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PLEASE COULD WE MAYBE GET LIKE A VIBE OF WHAT THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF SETTLE OUR BONES IS GOING TO BE ABOUT NO PRESSURE JUST CURIOUS
The vibe is itās kicking my ass š
#itās a collab with batmoniker!#itās set in Sept/Oct ish#after school starts up again#and it involves some Proper Comic Book stuff#no one throws up in it so I should get points for that!!#a few days ago I got so frustrated trying to work out the logistics in one scene that I cried a little#then felt very dumb bc Iām a grown woman and this is fanfic#then called batmoniker in a panic like listen what if we just scrap the whole fic#and she was like orrrrr#we could NOT do that and just delete the part that isnāt working#and I was like ābut it would be so satisfying to just delete everythingā#and sheās like āI support you butā¦ā¦maybe just try this firstā#ANYWAY it started sort of coming together today#and I THINK itās somewhat steering in the right direction#itās got a TON of pov shifting#including one bit thatās outsider POV#and that makes it quite a challenge#Iām currently on an Alfred section#it has more action than I generally write#but there will still be a good bit of hurt/comfort bc Iām still me#batmoniker and I came up with this idea like 3 years ago while slightly drunk the first time we ever met up irl#so thatās the vibe#and if this fic ever sees the light of day it will be 100% thanks to batmoniker#settle our bones
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Happy 10th anniversary Shigatsu!! (Ā“Ā°Ģ„Ģ„Ģ„Ģ„Ģ„Ģ„Ģ„Ģ„ĻĀ°Ģ„Ģ„Ģ„Ģ„Ģ„Ģ„Ģ„Ģ„ļ½)
#illustration#my fanart#anime fanart#shigatsu wa kimi no uso#your lie in april#kaori miyazono#this anime turns 10 this year!!!! AAAAAA#I JUST REWATCHED IT LAST WEEK AND ONE THING I KNOW FOR SURE IS THAT I STILL SUFFER AAAAAA#no but itās 100% worth watching ļæ½ļæ½ļæ½ itās one of my favorite anime so far šš»#NEW ART OMG#I THOUGHT I WOULD QUIT DRAWING YOU KNOW AAAA IāM SO EXCITED AAAAA šššššš
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jorge martin is just an off-brand motogp version of george russell. both incredible qualifiers, hard racers, have issues sometimes keeping their tyres together, have stayed in a satellite/backmarker team for three years begging the big manufacturer to accept them into the main fold and will randomly decide that they are actually done with race by beefing it into the gravel/walls on the last laps.
this is why ducati did not hire martin, he hasnāt done the power point presentation
strong last line but hm... do I agree with this...
I don't entirely disagree with the profile of racer, though jorge's a bit more in the flame bright and early mould (partly also just because of the different rhythms of those two racing series). he cut his teeth not just on being an exceptional qualifier but also a starter. even though this year, you do kinda have to say pecco's just?? uh?? he's never been a BAD starter but I swear he didn't used to be this good? some of his starts from the second or third row this year have been genuine works of art. this isn't relevant, just needed to mention it. that's part of why jorge does so well at sprints... he's really good at that abbreviated format, where it's just all out from the very start. mr russell was considered quite a poor starter in his williams days (though lbr that may have partly been car characteristics) - the qualifying's very strong and very consistent, but for a while the question was of capitalising off the line. he's got a few more drives that are about working his way through the field... like qatar last year. I just don't really associate jorge with that?
the bottling thing is debatable and we could get into that debate, but like, never mind that. we're leaving sports analysis now and getting back into vibes territory. the thing about jorge is that he has had a competitive bike from the word go. mr russell, whatever you think about how clutch he is or isn't, did not set a foot wrong in terms of making the mercedes case for himself. what happened with him was basically just... a series of unfortunate events that got him stuck in a spectacularly uncompetitive car for three years. got one shot in a good car in said three years (sakhir 2020) and delivered the perfect performance. but jorge!! jorge had 2022!! he blew it!! he did get unlucky with the gp22 vs the gp21 comparison early that season and how bastianini was able to take advantage of the early stage factory spec malaise, and he's far from the only gp22 who was struggling early on (cf one 'pecco bagnaia'). but still, some of his rides that year were. truly horrendous. and the way the whole thing played out left him with a massive chip on the shoulder.... that's the thing, right, I think what's so key about jorge is that sense of grievance, the fact that he was rejected for that factory seat and we're now several years on from that. and it's a really thin line between that being a good thing and a bad thing. like, anything that's a potential source of motivation fundamentally can be helpful, right? in 2007, casey showed up at ducati as not their first choice, kinda a stopgap, and also after yamaha had pulled the plug on a potential contract not once but twice. he has spoken again and again how yamaha and honda's behaviour towards him made him want to show them exactly what they were missing out on. he used that! it was good for him as a competitor that he had something to get worked up over! he's done it throughout his career! but on the flip side, if you're so busy feeling victimised that you're kind of already... primed for failure, then you've got a problem. like, if the takeaway is you're probably screwed anyway because you're being sabotaged by the factory, then even if that were true you're fucked before you start competing. you've already lost in your own head, you've made excuses before you've even started. it's a thin line! thinking the world is out to get you can either be a good way to get yourself to going, or it can be a loser mindset
quickly circling back to georgie boy, my main feeling is that they kinda have a different type of malaise. one is an overthinker and the other is at times very much an under-thinker. grussy actually shares the overthinking trait with his fellow 63 more than anyone else... all three kinda have this fun meeting point of a lot of cockiness and a lot of insecurity - they just balance them in other ways. and russell reminds me more of pecco in that kind of... being constantly thrown up against a Big Legacy of someone you admire, being in the shadow of greats and having to make your own name... you're very much part of a succession plan that leaves you with massive shoes to fill... (though admittedly grussy has also gone through the unenviable experience of getting to work closely with his hero and eventually having most of said hero's fans absolutely despise him. can happen, I suppose.) jorge is a bit more baggage-free. he's very much the main character in his own story, not so much faffing about with the narrative implications of all this shit. more straightforward! if jorge wins, it's about him. if he loses, it's also about him. ducati has been his world for the past few years, to the point where he's gotten a bit parochial about the whole thing. early this season, he was talking like - sure, the championship lead is important, BUT this is also giving him power in contract negotiations!! which... yes, that's true, but also that should be way down the order of priorities my man. jorge martin might be the only person in this universe who... genuinely might be more obsessed with beating pecco than marc? like, beating the marc marquez would be great and all, 8x world champion bla bla, but pecco is his personal antagonist! he's known him for years! that's ducati's golden boy! he needs to beat pecco so badly! there's something really fun about a rivalry where it feels like at least one side's feelings towards the other... kinda go beyond a personal relationship, like at a certain point it becomes about what the other guy Represents. jorge isn't worried about legacy and the shoes he's got to fill and can he truly live up to all those expectations as much as he's worried about himself and also occasionally pecco bagnaia
anyway, I've been thinking about the bottling thing... what jorge said about it earlier's been rattling around in my head since I saw the quote
man, it must be really tough, right? like, you don't know why it's happening... it's not just cockiness - though there is an element of someone who's kinda used to bulldozing his way through problems with sheer obstinacy and stubborn self belief (another distinction with the 63's, who are more introspective and prone to self-flagellation following mistakes). but it's also just... you can't figure out why it's such a fundamental shortcoming of your game! today, from the way pecco and also luca (apparently) were talking about it, it seems like there was something noticeable about how jorge was gradually losing a bit in his control and precision as a result of how the tyres were going off, as a sort of precursor of the fatal error. which... well, it's at least a somewhat understandable mistake, because it comes from pressure? it's not just the tyres going off each time - the mugello sprint crash was lap four, jerez was lap ten. but an interesting thing about his big errors this year is that they have all come as a result of serious pressure - as a result of pecco directly behind him in the case of jerez and sachsenring and like... in anticipation of the massive points damage he knew he was probably going to take in mugello. it sounds obvious to say pressure is more likely to generate mistakes, but of course that's not always true of our title contenders! pecco only really wakes up when he's already dug a hole halfway to the centre of the earth - but when he faces actual pressure, his track record is mostly very strong. his biggest howlers this season, portimao + catalunya sprints, both came when he was leading comfortably. martin has also made these pressure-light mistakes in the past, most memorably indonesia last year but... well
one of the most fascinating bits of sports are like... limits and ceilings and how your build-up as an athlete kinda determines what's possible for you. like, sports is sort of where you experiment with notions of fate and inevitability and all that, where you question whether it's possible for anyone to ever really change. is it once a choker, always a choker? if you know that you have this problem, this flaw that is always just there in the background, waiting to be actualised - what can you do? does it give you more or less hope that there's not a clear root cause? how debilitating that must be for confidence too, always knowing that you could cause everything you've worked for to crash down in a moment.... this is where. y'know, the thing with pecco, right, is that he's now gotten to a weird place where psychologically he has to be wary of the mistakes he himself makes - but he knows that he can also bounce back from them. he has that muscle memory, because he's done it before. he chucked it down the road in india and he won the title! jorge did it in thailand and he didn't! and the problem is that it becomes a self-reinforcing cycle of sorts, because even though the margin between the two of them at the end of last year ended up being relatively slim... one of them still won and one of them still lost. which actually means that even though pecco and jorge both have made serious mistakes this year (though pecco's track record is cleaner - in portimao the points punishment didn't quite fit the crime and in the jerez/le mans sprints he was kinda just unlucky), only one of them knows they can do this shit and win the title anyway
and now jorge has an entire summer break to go away and think about that. can be a good thing, get some distance, and it's easy to slip into a run of bad form that you can't escape if there's no interruption. can be an awful thing because you're sitting with your mistakes for weeks on end with no chance to rectify them. I'm naturally a pessimist on the 'can any athlete ever really change' question because life has very much worn me down on this topic over the last few years (aka some sports results made me really sad). but I always want to be optimistic! I want to believe athletes can fix their fatal flaws! I want to believe they can get better at managing their tyres and not folding under pressure. and pressure works weirdly... sometimes it's not really a test of 'mental strength' as much as it is of what kind of in-built margin an athlete has (btw this is my best guess for what goes wrong with martin). sometimes it's beneficial in sharpening the mind and erasing the possibility of you just... not being sufficiently concentrated (which is my best guess for what happens with pecco when he's not being pressured). can you truly get better at dealing with that? or at a certain point, have you already accumulated so much mental scar tissue that you're always going to get in your own way? who knows! maybe we're all doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past forever and ever. who knows
anyway. in response to this ask. I do think it's more a case of 63's aligned in being too stuck in their own head, too concerned with legacy, and walking a very thin line between arrogance and insecurity. all three of them, though, have a bad case of 'coming through the ranks in an era of greats they'll always be disparagingly compared to'. what's new can never be as good as what came before, right? and they're constantly struggling to manage or maybe even overcome basic flaws that seem to be embedded in their make up as competitors... maybe they'll make it, just a little. maybe they never will. but it sure is fun to watch them try!
#bloody hell anon he had a mechanical dnf at his home race give him a moment#real talk he's george lawrence#the unbearable agony of not QUITE being able to come across as authentically yourself... sure you want to win but you also want to be loved#but. BUT. when it comes down to it. you'd always take the winning over being loved#revered teammate with an.... enthusiastic fanbase be damned#and eventually you will be able to make the team your own when the legend goes off to the red flop team#//#brr brr#batsplat responds#also I resent the notion we have the off brand version of eff won's anything!! our freaks are all 100% organically grown I'll have you know#can't believe I posted before this weekend going 'well I hope they don't prove me wrong about this serious title fight business' ffs#sachsenring last year is arguably still their best duel I REALLY felt like we might be building to that but OH NO#I feel hugely defensive of that rivalry and their stupid fucking title fights but some days they do NOT make it easy on me istg#I STILL think it's a bit unfair to them that they're being given twice as many chances to chuck it down the road#but like... can we please try to do our title fight momentum shifts on track and not in the gravel...#remember le mans... don't you want to do another le mans... please do another le mans... even a catalunya... come on... please#current tag
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#i dont think i will ever be able to tell if im bi or gay or or#shucks mannnn compulsory heterosexuality makes me immediately sick#and in the literal sense too#like i was at my friend's wedding and brought a guy (a friend of mine or acquaintance more like. i just thought he is a good fit for#wedding party. and he was)#but all my friends were immediately like. as soon as he went to the bathroom. they were going ' you should 100% date him'#'he is a good husband material' 'we could finally go on double datesš¤ '#right after i felt so sick i thought i was gonna throw up#i mean it might be the alcohol kicking in but i just find it funny that i felt it after they said all that#two of my friends wanted to speak in private with me and were like 'is he..? are u considering him AT LEAST?'#i know they had no bad intentions. quite the opposite but years after years i still get sad (understatement tbh) abt it..#another part of me knows that this is my fault bc i should've just communicated that i am not comfortable about such comments and#that i (surprise surprise) might not be straight! and that this isnt any default sexuality#buuuuuut how do i tell them this when i honestly dont feel like telling them so that i am able to figure things out on my own terms. i mean#one of my friends kind of knows and i never ever said anything to confirm nor deny anything xjhstwfy why is it so hard#on the other hand. yesterday for the first time i kind of got the feeling that it doesnt matter and that either way i will find happiness#SOME DAY maybe and i dont have to say anything and i can just not take their ~advice seriously and go on about my life#mine
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Youāre welcome to explain your answer in the tags!
#julie and the phantoms#jatp#jatppolls#dont ask me why the number categories are like this!!! there is no rhyme or reason to them!!!#been thinking bout this for awhile now. cause it didnt occur to me that I havent watched it since i netflix partyād it with Rosie in Sept#2021ā¦ which has beenā¦ a very long time. considering in 2020 after it came out i probably watched it over 100 times in full.#thereās just something that stops me from clicking play on the show and i cant put it into words. its just this feeling i get every time my#mouse or finger hovers over the show. i also got rid of netflix this past year too but that was quite recent and i do have a copy of it on#my ipad sksjsj idk#guess im just curious if anyon else is in this weird limbo. dont get me wrong. i am still enamoured by this show but rewatching it is just#smthg i havent done in a hot minute. maybe i should make Rosie do another netflix party with me š#i feel like if i was more active in a discord or on tumblr i wouldve tried to watch it with mutuals but alas i am incapable of having free#time outside of work and life.#once again i am shocked that the answers are centred in the bubbles before u click on them and it bothers me?!?#alt option: i have rewatched the show aolely through gifsets š#sunset queue#<- queuing this for some reason. idk what the reason is.
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[person who has to be following at least 100 vocaP] man remember when i kept up with 200 utaite i wish i still had that energy i barely keep up with anyone these days
#okay well maybe following is under 100#but theres easily over 100 i can recognize if i see a song of theirs on the ranking or in the wild#so i count that#thinking about it bc im like. its been a few years & i like quite a few of their songs#at what point do i admit im a rukaku fan#(now)#AND EVEN KNOWING SO MANY IM STILL LIKE. man i know none of these people. WHEN I GO TO EVENTS....#easily solved problem honestly just get whatever album theyre selling but
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God damn, the Olympics got me missing swimming
#olympics#paris 2024#no but I literally was like 'unless I'm personally invested I can't watch swimming it's so boring' and I watched one (1) race and was hooked#all it took was 'take your marks' and the buzzer and I was like OH GOD TAKE ME BACK TO WHEN I DID THAT (obviously not at that level)#anyway not me spending four years studying engineering and now having a job as a software engineer and still being like okay but what if I#quit and become a learn to swim teacher??#genuinely considering it too like maybe not quitting but the idea of doing less engineering hours so I can do a few hours a week of lts#actually sounds so nice#to think I stopped being a lts teacher to go to uni only to discover I liked being a lts teacher better lmao#but like I could 100% get behind becoming a lts teacher and club swim coach that sounds lowkey ideal lol
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Regulus and Barty met in choir first year
#Regulus was 100% a choir kid#Barty did it before he started purposefully pissing his dad off#Barty quits in third year but they still sometimes sing together#Regulus black#barty crouch jr#bartylus#the Slytherin skittles#The marauders#marauders headcanons
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also L to justin but in MY mind the boys are actually silly friends who enjoy each others company and i think taako WOULD disclose his hot date with death to them even tho merle would try to beat him with his wooden arm over it (lovingly)
#actually i think theyāve leaned more towards them being friends#in the graphic novel#but i fr think they love each other so dearly#IN MY MIND the love they held and formed through the 100 years#is still there when they reunite in the BOB#like even though they canāt access those memories#the love is still there#honestly i think that is a little canon with the way they all interact#itās not as like?? sweet sappy lovey dovey stuff#but all three of the boys are quite independent donāt rely on others#but as a trio they tend to take each other much more into account#than anyone else#anyways the graphic novel is so real for making them softer#taakos graphic novel characterisation is delightful especially#taz#taz balance
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i donāt know what it is with me and video games but no matter how fun or interesting a game sounds, i almost never boot it up and even when i do i play like thirty minutes and then give up.
like i guess itās because iām a internet-addicted little gremlin and the second i open an browser i have a System to get me five different kinds of doomscrolling on hand at once, so unlike irl hobbies that i can do away from the computer or in tandem with my doomscrolling of choice today, i need to have my cozy usual setup just a tiiiny bit out of reach but avoid using it to focus on my game.
i donāt usually have that problem with games on my phone or handheld consoles back when i had one of those, but also iām careful to pick games that arenāt disturbed by me watching a video at the same time, like wordless brain puzzles or pokemon hunting yknow, if the game starts a story segment or ambiance is important i play that on its own, away from distractions.
even when i play flash games on the computer while watching a video, i feel like i switch back and forth still pretty often. and even when i play a āproperā game with friends and focus on it for a couple hours, i can tell it wears me down and at the end all i can think about it the skin-crawling need to go listen to music really loud and scroll social media for two hours, even though thatās also because of the socialization aspect.
but switching back and forth between a solo game and my usual setup isnāt really an option cuz my computer struggles with it depending on the game, and also even if i did find something on my phone that could fill that role, most computer games are still more involved than mobile games that i can play while doing something else. i wouldnāt want to take away from the experience of a game bc my stupid brain needs to also be doing sudoku and listening to 2000ā²s pop at the same time. because honestly i kinda already do that when i watch movies and series. which i feel somewhat conflicted about. but that might mean thereās just yknow, no way to get over it, at least in my current circumstances.
#i'm watching a video on how roguelikes are constructed#and i really makes me want to take out my wallet and get myself hades or that one spaceship game that my cousins were really into#when i was a kid#but like#what's the point in buying a game i'll play for two hours#no matter how fun and interesting and compelling it is#i'm already neglecting my darkwood save file....#quitting papers please timelines in the middle so i no longer remember what kind of run i was trying to do#procrastinating on getting to the story ending in slime rancher bc i'm afraid to not have 100%ed everything else beforehand#sorry to my dear friend who gifted me autonauts several years ago i still haven't gotten past the tutorial#for my defense i told you that just because i liked the free alpha it didn't mean you had to buy the full game for me#broadcasting my misery#i'm putting that in the nd tag fuck it#why i could have adhd#time management is hard#especially hobby time management
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my iron levels are officially out of the 'severely deficient' zone and I am slowly beginning to feel functional again
#still gonna take time to stop feeling quite so exhausted and brain foggy but i havent needed a nap or passed out on my desk in a while lads#gotta keep takin my iron tho cause im at 50 and thats still not optimal#better than 7 though!#the problem is not gone yet but it is less severe and that is better than nothing#apparently it can take a full year or more to get back to feeling 100% again so that sucks but at least im not passing out randomly anymore
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