#shucks mannnn compulsory heterosexuality makes me immediately sick
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#i dont think i will ever be able to tell if im bi or gay or or#shucks mannnn compulsory heterosexuality makes me immediately sick#and in the literal sense too#like i was at my friend's wedding and brought a guy (a friend of mine or acquaintance more like. i just thought he is a good fit for#wedding party. and he was)#but all my friends were immediately like. as soon as he went to the bathroom. they were going ' you should 100% date him'#'he is a good husband material' 'we could finally go on double dates🤠'#right after i felt so sick i thought i was gonna throw up#i mean it might be the alcohol kicking in but i just find it funny that i felt it after they said all that#two of my friends wanted to speak in private with me and were like 'is he..? are u considering him AT LEAST?'#i know they had no bad intentions. quite the opposite but years after years i still get sad (understatement tbh) abt it..#another part of me knows that this is my fault bc i should've just communicated that i am not comfortable about such comments and#that i (surprise surprise) might not be straight! and that this isnt any default sexuality#buuuuuut how do i tell them this when i honestly dont feel like telling them so that i am able to figure things out on my own terms. i mean#one of my friends kind of knows and i never ever said anything to confirm nor deny anything xjhstwfy why is it so hard#on the other hand. yesterday for the first time i kind of got the feeling that it doesnt matter and that either way i will find happiness#SOME DAY maybe and i dont have to say anything and i can just not take their ~advice seriously and go on about my life#mine
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