#not projecting at all btw.... nooooo

[rottendecisions]

are they... you know... 🏳️‍🌈

if it looks like hot ass i'm very aware but i've been losing all joy i've had in making art so this is the best i could do

[fastandcarlos]

Living With The LeClercs » Charles LeClerc

Summary: take a peek into the life of the leclerc family and see what they get up to

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by carlossainz55, pierregasly and 1,402,505 others

charles_leclerc: off season complete ✅ batteries are recharged after yet another amazing holiday with the fam

39,503 comments

scuderiaferrari: looking forward to having you back with us next week charles 🏎️

landonorris: i refuse to accept that y/d/n is yours, she's too beautiful to have your genes

ynusername: @/landonorris she just takes after her mother instead 😇

username1: nooooo, f1 season means we get less dad pics from you charles

username2: i don't ever want the dad charles era to end 😭

ynusername: thank you for the best three months, i couldn't wish for a better dad to our little humans 💕

schecoperez: you're putting me to shame with all these adorable snaps, i better start uploading too

lance_stroll: calling dibs on being first to offer babysitting during the season btw

danielricciado: @/lance_stroll you take one i'll take the other, mini charles' are a lot to handle

lance_stroll: @/danielricciardo you've got yourself a deal

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by scuderiaferrari, landonorris and 832,420 others

charles_leclerc: race day is always better with these two babies causing chaos 🥰

29,908 comments

carlossainz55: as cute as your children are, can you hurry up and stop uploading to instagram...some of us have got meetings

username3: y/s/n is hands down the coolest kid at the paddock this weekend

username4: why do i get the impresson project leclerc jr is well underway with y/d/n 🤔

oscarpiastri: STOP SHOWING OFF HOW BEAUTIFUL YOUR FAMILY ARE 😡

maxverstappen1: maybe y/s/n will have a better chance of beating me to the top of the podium than you

charles_leclerc: @/maxverstappen1 one day...he's got his eyes on you! apparently you're his favourite driver

maxverstappen1: @/charles_leclerc tell him that he's got excellent taste

ynusername: not you promoting letting toddlers get behind the wheel of high speed cars 🙄

danielricciardo: if you're looking for a coach, you know who to ask

charles_leclerc: @/danielricciado you think i'm not capable of coaching my son

danielricciardo: @/charles_leclerc sure...but if you want him to learn from a proper driver, just gimme a call 😂

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by charles_leclerc, georgerussell63 and 294,405 others

ynusername: following this man around all day, trying to keep the kids from hugging daddy is a hard day’s work (see second pic for proof 😂)

12,492 comments

landonorris: if charles isn't interested, tell the kids that uncle lando will always be ready for a cuddle

iamrebeccad: i've never done so many steps before, who knew chasing after 3 year olds was such hard work 💫

ynusername: @/iamrebeccad i did try to warn you!! you should've listened

pierregasly: he's just tryna play it cool y/n, he isn't as cool as he used to be

username5: imagine being lucky enough to walk around the paddock and just see y/s/n and y/d/n everywhere

kevinmagnussen: tell them to have a sniff of charles after being in a race car for 2 hours y/n...that will soon be enough to put them off 💩

lilymhe: i want them to chase me and give me all the cuddles in the world

username6: you just know in any free moment charles is secretly looking around wanting his kids back beside him

username7: everyone say thank you to y/n for yet another round of hot dad charles pics 🙏🏻

oscarpiastri: why can't you hug me as lovingly as you hug your son? you're supposed to me my dad too

charles_leclerc: @/oscarpiastri "adopted"

oscarpiastri: @/charles_leclerc IT ALL STILL COUNTS

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by alex_albon, oscarpiastri and 829,407 others

charles_leclerc: like father like son…the leclerc smile is deadly

78,445 comments

username8: officially the cutest photographs to ever be uploaded to the internet 🥺

username9: excuse me charles leclerc you cannot just spring photos like this on us without warning

oscarpiastri: i smile like this too...family?? 🥰

maxverstappen1: if i had to pick y/s/n definitely looks cuter

username10: i was not emotionally ready for this adorableness 💔

carlossainz55: deadly?? you look like the squishiest marshmallow

username11: @/carlossainz55 i think you've been spending too much time on the internet 😬

ynusername: my two favourite boys, how did I ever get so lucky?

charles_leclerc: @/ynusername there's no way you're the lucky one, that title belongs to me mi amor

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by ynusername, carlossainz55 and 527,492 others

charles_leclerc: I’ve been posting a lot about my human kids recently, so here’s a shoutout to my other child so he doesn’t feel left out

43,482 comments

oscarpiastri: damn i almost thought that this post was gonna be about me

charles_leclerc: @/oscarpiastri i swear one more comment and i will block you, son or not

landonorris: how dare you mistreat leo like this

username12: @/landonorris #justice4leo

username13: charles leclerc...father of 3

ynusername: leo could never be forgotton, he's our favourite four legged child

alex_albon: @/ynusername also your only four legged child 🤔

estebanocon: cute kids, cute dog...how do you do it leclerc??

yukitsunoda0511: asking for a friend...do your kids also poo in the middle of the paddock or just your dog

username14: @/yukitsunoda0511 YUKI not you stitching charles up like this! 😂😂

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by estebanocon, lance_stroll and 728,493 others

charles_leclerc: my favourite things to do, being a dad with a bit of gaming too 🥺💕

53,684 comments

ynusername: where does being a husband rank in all of them??

charles_leclerc: @/ynusername you’re still my number one 😍

username15: if charles won't appreciate you come and marry me instead

maxverstappen1: so bad at fifa you've resorted to table football i see 🫢

carlossainz55: don't worry charlie, i'll beat you at that kinda football too

username16: not you forgetting the woman that gave you those two adorable humans charles 🤦🏻‍♀️

username17: public apology incoming

danielricciardo: and you just happened to be playing table football with your top off did you? 🤔

charles_leclerc: @/danielricciardo it was all just coincidence...promise

georgerussell63: charles leclerc giving the fan girls what they want since 2018

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by lewishamilton, landonorris and 842,348 others

charles_leclerc: appreciation for the wife so she doesn’t get jealous 😂 I love you honey, thank you for our perfect family ✨🔥

53,372 comments

carlossainz55: if you heard him gush about you as much as i do y/n you'd know there is never anything to be jealous of

ynusername: @/carlossainz55 what sorta thing does he say?? 🤔

charles_leclerc: @/carlossainz55 do not throw me under the bus like this!!

landonorris: one of you looks perfect, the other looks like he needs a haircut and to sort his beard out

username18: i hope you know how lucky you are charles

username19: how does y/n manage to look that good running around after y/s/n, y/d/n and charles all day???

logansargeant: can you stop making all us single people feel even more single pls 😭

schecoperez: the second best family in formula one

danielricciardo: @/schecoperez SAVAGE! 💪🏻

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by ynusername, scuderiaferrari and 1,392,503 others

charles_leclerc: just a post to remind you all I can do both…no dad bod around here 🫢

101,372 comments

username20: DADDY!? 💦

landonorris: how many takes did it take you to get that shot in the gym?

carlossainz55: @/landonorris i was there...for several hours

username21: soft dad charles will always be my fave

ynusername: is there anything that you can't do? you take my breath away charles leclerc 💫💕

oscarpiastri: one day i hope to be as strong as you are...dad

charles_leclerc: @/oscarpiastri BLOCKED

alex_albon: i don't know who looks more tired, you or y/d/n

charles_leclerc: @/alex_albon me, definitely me, but i wouldn't change it for the world

 ˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

[solarpunkani]

this is a personal vent but its a somewhat anti-capitalist/anti-grind culture vent so its going here but like

I wish I could have one (1) hobby that just stays a hobby and remains a fun lil heehee hobby without one or both parents desperately trying to get me to monetize it.

Like I am JUST learning crochet. I have been crocheting for less than a MONTH. I have ONE finished project. And my mom is ALREADY sending me lil instagram reels like 'heehee this is how much I made from my ~crocheting business~ in the month of October' and sending me a bunch of eyes emojis and dollarsign eyes emojis like, first off my beloved mother that woman has been crocheting for YEARS maybe even DECADES and I just picked it up three tuesdays ago, but second of all I don't necessarily wanna just make a buncha shit and then sell it online!!! I wanna make stuff for me and maybe friends and family if they ask really nicely, but nooooo now mom wants me to Perfect the Craft so I can sell on etsy and instagram and whatever.

This would be a Mild Annoyance if this wasn't simply the first in a long string of 'what if you monetized this hobby.' Which, granted, sometimes I do it to myself, but I'm really trying to stop.

Oh you like gardening? What if you monetized it! Sell vegetables at the farmers market! Sell cut flowers at the farmers market! Start your own small business! What do you mean, you mostly do it for personal enjoyment and environmental reasons? Just grow a bigass plot of zinnias, forget about your other stuff, and sell sell sell!!!

Oh, you like creative writing? You like writing novels and short stories and fanfics?? Go be a copywriter! Go be an adjunct professor, because you're totally qualified! What? You don't wanna write manuals and advertisements? But you're such a good writer, go make money off of it!

Oh you wanna learn sewing?! Learn sewing!! Quickly!! Not for your own personal enjoyment of the craft, I'm gonna start a business selling bags and YOU"RE gonna help me!!! I'm not asking permission btw this is me telling you--

Don't even get me started on the absolute slog that has been trying to become an animator and selling art commissions because I like drawing and animating and how that's been going for me, or the fact that my mom seems to think Masters Degree in Animation = Qualified Graphic Designer, which is not the same thing.

It's just exhausting. I would like to be allowed to have one hobby that doesn't immediately read as dollar signs in my parents eyes, yknow?

anyways capitalism grind culture is a hell scape thank you for coming to my tedtalk.

[beaztbazzboss]

Join my DTIYS, NOW(I'm forcing you/pos)

There was the filter version but it turns out to be ugly nooooo😭😭😭😭

Here's the art:

Have fun everyone! :3

Btw I have something to say, if you joined this dtiys, that means you are supporting the book project I'm recently working on, An Alle Krieger

(To those mfs who don't know these guys, the one that holding an axe with orc lookin ass is Captain Christopher du Renard a.k.a. Renard, and the one who wears like a king besides working as a priest is Father Jason Chevalier a.k.a. Father Jason or Jason)

[entiretorridaffair]

ok so basically i leave for class right as my best friend (let’s call her m) is coming back from class (we share a room btw) but i’m texting her as im going to class just because. and she’s taking out the trash and forgets her key in the room 😭 so she’s freaking out that she’s locked out because im in class and so is our third roommate. HOWEVER. our fourth roommate (let’s call her g) is supposed to be in class at this time but we checked on life360 and g skipped class and was at her other friends apartment that’s like 3 minutes from our dorm. so m starts texting in our roommate gc that’s she’s locked out and g is literally just laughing and joking around 😭 and we’re like heyy… g can you just go let m in so she doesn’t get in trouble with the front desk (bc they’re so strict about getting locked out and we only have like one freebie to be let in before they start charging us) and so m starts privately texting me and we’re both like ???? bc duh m is not gonna use her only freebie when there’s another option. g is always doing inconsiderate stuff like this and it drives us so insane but both me and m are NOTTT confrontational at all. but the reason it was such a big deal is bc m has a project due tomorrow that she needed to be working on and i wouldn’t be out of class until another hour and a half so m was like “i am wasting time rn!” but basically g was like yeah sorry im at my friends apartment and blah blah blah. which like i absolutely understand that m is not g’s responsibility but the fact that she wasn’t busy and was so close was just so frustrating. and then in the gc g started gossiping about people in her classes while m was still freaking out and we were like HELLO?? also just for backstory, m and g have been friends since like 6th grade. so like they’re genuinely friends and g still didn’t wanna help 😭 but m sent a slightly aggressive text to g being like hey i know it’s an inconvenience and im not your responsibility but you’re literally not busy and can come help me. it was just so insane to me bc if g was the one in this position she would’ve EXPECTED us to help. like hello. idk g is always pushing my buttons!!!! i feel like if you knew g personally you would go insane 😭😭😭😭

nooooo omg that would actually piss me off SOOOO bad!!!!! screaming throwing up over people that don’t give a shit about their friends like that

[ao3feed-crimeboys]

Too stoned for this shit

by Cheese_2109

Tommy turned around to face Wilbur. “Wilbur? Are you high right now?” Tommy asked shooting Wilbur a knowing look.

Or.. Tommys parents drop him off at Wilbur's while Wilbur is smoking weed. Then Tommy gets Wilbur to vent to him

Words: 1065, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of Stoner Wilbur stories by me :), Part 1 of Me projecting my feeling onto Wilbur stories

Fandoms: Dream SMP, Video Blogging RPF, Minecraft (Video Game)

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Characters: Wilbur Soot, TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit's Father (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit's Mother (Video Blogging RPF)

Relationships: Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit

Additional Tags: Stoner Wilbur Soot, Fluff, CC! Wilbur Soot, CC! Tommyinnit, im not shipping them, Their just friends :), like fr, Weed, Smoking, Wilbur Soot Has an Anxiety Disorder, Wilbur smokes to help with his anxiety, Wilbur Soot Needs a Hug, Angst, Therapist friend tommyinnit, but in a good way, Drug Use, Wilburs stoned out of his mind in this, Marijuana, Tommys 17 btw, yk still living with his parents and stuff, Bruh not me projecting my feelings on Wilbur Soot nooooo, I would never, This starts out all sweet and funny then goes down hill real fast

[mmms-phe-sideblog]

The Partners: A Long Post

like. really long

brace yerself

Mmmmm guess whoooo obsessed over Phe’s partnerssss :,D

me. it’s me. hELP /silly

so.

I’m gon just. throw all the info at y’all and hope something makes sense hdjdhfh

here’s the info-duction (info introduction)

Onyx was the first partner i designed for Phe, I mentioned kem in my original info post. i think it was in the “oOo she’s a lesbiab but, but oOooO transmasc partner wEEE”

i have the most info about it because obviously. First Partner I Designed yada yada. Key are an intersex, kinda trans masc leaning maybe gendervoid/agender fella, i think i mentioned keir pronouns?

(key/it/he)

onyx is also the first partner i did a canon design forrrrr :D

also it’s a dom leaning switch. y’all definitely needed to hear that 👍

Aight next

Jenna!! Jennnaaaaaa my beloveddddd <33

she is the one and only cis person in the qpr, but they all love her just the same

you don’t need to be trans to be in this poly relationship >:3

behold her beauty!! beHOld!!!!!

i love her hair and i’m definitely not projecting my visions for my own hair onto her,,,, nooooo (hopefully getting a haircut and dying my hair blue this summer so!)

jenna is omni which is. Ideal. since there’s not another single cis person in this qpr lmfao

i wanna draw her more because oGh fluff

Chrissy/Rayne time babyyyy

so this one is an interesting one bcs. i can’t remember if i said phe has 5 or 6 partners in my og post?? i always knew that i was gonna give one of their partners DID (that sounds really mean but. mMm it was always gon be a thing)

so there’s Chrissy who is the “host” or “fronter”. She uses she/her and uhm. Yeah i haven’t really done that much character development on her yet since wEee rabbit holing-ish on DID

(btw if there is anyone who knows more about DID or has personal experience with it, please tell me if i say something wrong or get any facts messed up)

aaand then there’s rayne. christ do i love rayne (this sounds like favouritism towards them but it’s just because i’ve done so much more character development for them (mostly today so it’s fresh fjjdhfjdjd))

They use they/he pronouns and are a raging sub. again, this is very necessary information 😊

i’ve done quite a few drawings of them so. here have!

we’re ignoring the blacked out bits in the last photo. i was being silly and wrote some. Horny Shit. in my defence phe is very much not ace :P

to quickly explain the top surgery on a character that is mostly fem presenting- when rayne was fronting some time a couple years ago, they had a fun little breakdown and ended up going to a gender specialist to get a recommendation for top surgery. Completely just. On a whim. turns out having two identities that have completely opposite gender issues can be kinda problematic sometimes

anyway yeah i love them 💖💖

jasminnnn

yeah i know jasmin’s hair colour has changed dramatically between the two pictures of her ive done sssshush (i cant find a ginger pen 😔😔)

jasmin uses she/xey pronouns and yes. this is the influence of phe partially hdhdhd. its similar to my situation with neim where their pronouns helped me realise shit about my own gender

basically when jas and phe met, jas was already questioning her gender but didn’t know how to progress. all she knew was that she was uncomfortable with they/them pronouns. n then phe introduced her to the concept of neopronouns and thus the she/xey was born!

alright last one i swear

yep this is the one and only drawing ive done of phe’s last partner, xander. They’re a fem enby and use they/it. i need to do more drawings of them because ogh that typical lesbian haircut 😚👌

also i just found another drawing i did of jas at like. 2 in the morning. yeah not putting that here because 1) it’s shite (i did it with highlighters) and 2) yyyyeah fuck the iphone 10 pictures limit

speaking of pictures. last thing im putting here is the drawing of the height difference between them all:

[arpiniko]

i hate being a nice person.

i had scheduled work this sunday. 15-20. fine. easy time. not much to do usually

but i had to agree to cover for my colleague and have it changed to 9.30-20

ok. happends not the end of the world i will be slightly tired for next week but ok. little extra money is always nice.

but!

buuuuut! apparently our manager made a tiny little mistake in our schedule. and i'm not starting at 9.30.

its 7.30. 🙃

oh lovely. so now i gotta be there at 7.30 sunday. oh well finneeeeee.

ok lemme check the train that i can take me to this small village where i work. oooooh the only train that will get me there and not make me minimum 30min late is at 6am. 6.30 arrival

ok ok ok. fine. lemme see the bus to the train station so i can get there in 10min. oh nooooo its sunday! and my buses arent coursing before 6.30. oh so i gotta walk to the station 40min

oh great. so i have to leave at *checks notes* 5am. and with good winds i will make it in time and i wont caught cold. cool

meaning i have to wake up max at 4am. to get ready. since i have to look presentable as a receptionist

so few chill hours of work very quickly changed to very little sleep and very very very tiring day.

oh and btw its a day that has 2 ongoing projects with 40+ppl being there at all time and iwill have to manage it all. and prepare the diplomas for hte participants there. AND make new flyers bc i'm apparently also a graphic designer there "we got you mostly bc you can do art and being a receptionist is just a side thing for you anyway right?"

sure if i had time to breath during such day i'd gladly do some graphics for you but i'm afraid i will have few panic attacks on sunday. i might even start preparing some countermeasures to make it slightly easier. no idea how

oh and! you though it would be "8pm is up we're closing and going home?" noooooooo couldbpnt be. i have to setup for next day the shooting range with pneumatics that will take me minimum 30-40min of work. and the back train i will have in that case at... 22.15. meaning i will get home after 23 if i caught a bus back.

and monday i have classes.

if not maybe i will get there oni monday haha yeah i'm finnneeeeeee

[puffyducks]

Continuation teehee. Why am I just now realizing that these comic titles are all song references-

Getting haunted speedrun any%

FUCK DID WE MAKE IT TO A GROUNDHOG DAY SITUATION. SHIT.

yas bitch slayy

WHY IS IT TURNING INTO A HORROR MOVIE I THOUGHT WE WERE JUST GONNA GO ON A SILLY ROADTRIP

Looks like SOMEONE'S never heard of the dark web.

Oh wait right it's the 70s-

Ok so it's NOT ghosts it's just insanely advanced lifelike holograms that are being projected from all angles to fill an entire room with fake people with technology from the 70s. OKAY. I GUESS THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A BETTER EXPLANATION??? Just let them get haunted at that point-

BLESS ME BAGPIPES???? YOU MEAN LIKE SCROOGE MCDU-

Dickie don't even joke like I'm being so fr right now. NOBODY TELL HIM ABOUT INVENTING ANY ROBOTS OH MY GOD

DID THEY GIVE THE EAGLES FURSONAS

Daisy is fucking eating in this outfit she should be dressed like this forever

DROWNING SPEEDRUN ANY%

Dude he has autism headphones shoutout

I'mma be so fr I thought he was going behind those rocks to like smoke a joint or something but then I was like "nooo there's no way they'd put that in a duck comic" so I guess anxiously squatting behind a rock to make tasteful cross-stitch patterns of buffalo is a much better answer

I've decided all 3 of them are dating btw. Polyamory wins.

I'm literally willing to bet money that the boss is Scrooge. Like there's no fucking way they're gonna bring up a stingy boss and it's NOT him. It's fucking SCROOGE-

IIIIII FUCKING KNEW IT!!! I FUCKINF CALLED IT I'M SO MAD. MAN FUCK THIS STINGY OLD MAN!!!! I won't lie the gray turtleneck with the jacket is kind of a look tho like kinda gagged tbh. hate this old man btw.

HOW HAS THIS CROTCHETY OLD FUCK BEEN BEHIND EVERYTHIIIING GO HOME SCROOGE

I NEED HIM DEAD YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. I'M TURNING VIOLENT. sorry I did not expect Scrooge to be a part of this and he's bringing out the worst in me HE HATES JOY AND WHIMSY AND ART. AND WHY DOES HE JUST HAVE LOOSE CHANGE IN HIS OFFICE FUCKING LOSERRRRR

DONAAAAAALD

THEY'RE STAYING IN THE TRIPLETS' BEDS HELP

DONAAAAAAAAADLDAFAPOWEFK GUYS HE'S SO CUTE YOU GUYS. IDK WHY HE'S WEARING A SHIRT COVERED IN HIS HAT BUT IDC LOOK AT HEEEEEEEE (had to go one whole comic series without seeing him. heartbreaking)

Sorry I got distracted by Donald IMPORTANT PLOT STUFF IS HAPPENING OK. Dickie noooo don't leave your friends but also noooo don't give up on your life and dreams NOOOOO DICKIE

I guess you could say that.... LOVE WINS

GUYS WAIT THAT WAS REALLY CUTE LIKE I REALLY LIKED THAT WHOLE THING. I guess you could say the REAL music career was the friends we made a long the way.... or maybe more than friends looking at the ending :3c and also looking at the way that Dickie kept like kissing them both on the cheek. This was really fun though I would love to see more of the three of them, I have no idea if there are actual follow-ups to this cause I know Dickie is a pretty minor character who doesn't show up at lot but WAHH I LIKE HER. Like she stresses me out lowkey but I like her she's just silly. This was a refreshing break from the constant terror of PKNA, shoutout to the Donald cameo he was in 3 whole panels and that was really special to me. OK BYE!!!

DCRC Week 9 (Part 2)

Oh shit!! Is these ducks on the road??? YOU BET YOUR SWEET ASS THEY ARE!!! Anyways we're reading Ducks on the Road now which I'm super excited for because it features not one but THREE characters we've barely seen in the book club so far!!

This comic is LONG (I guess it's technically like 5 comics but we're reading them all in one go) so I'll probably end up having to extend this post with a few reblogs! So look out for those.

They're in.... VIRGINIA???? NOOOOOOOOOOO (person with irrational hatred of Virginia cause my whole extended family lives there so I have to travel there every holiday and it just kinda sucks there idk what to tell you. Also if Virginia is for lovers why is it called VIRGINia hm?? riddle me that BATMAN)

SCROOGE PAY YOUR FUCKING WORKERS also I love this outfit and haircut for Daisy she looks so cute here

Does this imply that Donald was living in Virginia beforehand because the implication that I'm only 1 state away from Donald is kind of frightening ngl. also Virginia sucks.

Did they hire Tuskerninni's cousin what's going on here. Actually this is the 70s it could probably BE Tuskerninni in an earlier life

I'm so used to talking about DT17 Gyro within my circles that I see Regular Gyro and it's like oh right!! He actually has joy and whimsy in his heart!! He's actually just a funny invention man who has totally not accidentally committed any atrocities in Tokyolk before!!!! He's also changed his hair color like four times

DON'T EAT THE GARBAGE SANDWICH WHAT ARE YOU DOOIIIIING

can somebody please help him he looks like an anxious chihuahua

How do you even leave piles of money on the floor to be blown away like that HELP I'm so stressed. Dickie get it together girl.

shoutout to these two and their cool accompanying text

HOW IS SHE SUCH A PUBLIC MENACE SHE'S LITERALLY JUST KINDA MID AT PLAYING GUITAR

She kissed him then IMMEDIATELY friendzoned him it was like a speedrun holy shit

Did he just headcanon Dickie and Daisy as lesbians? Because me too.

WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT AFTER AN EXAM WHY'D THEY DO HIM LIKE THAT 😭😭😭 nice presentation you LONELY IDIOT.

DICKIE YOU CAN'T PAINT A FUCKIGN RENTAL VAN OH MY GOD

Ah yes my favorite sign on the highway. The big one that just says "WEST"

YOU GUYS I AM SO STRESSED DICKIE IS GONNA GET THEM ALL KILLED IN A HORRIFIC ROAD ACCIDENT. ALSO HOW DID THEY ALREADY GET ALL THE WAY TO OKLAHOMA-

NVM THEY'RE NOT GONNA CRASH THEY'RE GONNA GET SHOT BY THIS GUY FOR HARBORING CRIMINALS

DAISY YOU CAN'T SAY THAT WORD. also i want these two guys dead they were mean to her >:(

GET A JOB STAY AWAY FROM HER

dork ass nerd and his dork ass math pajamas. and what I assume is a plush of Albert Einstein or something. NERD.

Oh ok so we're just not gonna acknowledge what they do about their tires being gone. Ok. No it's fine I guess that's like irrelevant information they probably just like... found some new tires on the side of the road or something..... yeah....

Anyways this is the part where I briefly end the post so I can attach more reactions with a reblog!

[theoriquewitherseld]

“Are you done staring? >:(”

Ok, but like drawing Snicket w messy hair unearthed a suppressed memory that he canonically had a bowl cut and I never drew it. gotta rectify that somehow

[krizaland]

zim x irken!reader based on the trial? the reader being a higher up that wants to save him (the tallest liking them would be an extra point)

Yes!!! I love this!

This came out waaay more angsty than I intended.

Be warned: There’s self sacrifice and attempted execution ahead!

Here’s the song I used btw

You felt your squeedilyspooch churn as you landed on Judgementia.

You didn’t know why you were so surprised.

It was only a matter of time before  Zim would have an Existence Evaluation.

As much as you hated to admit it, Zim was responsible for some of the worst tragedies on Irk.

From causing a massive blackout on planet, Devestus, to nearly annihilating their entire civilization during Operation Impending Doom 1; You should’ve expected this to happen a long long time ago.

Nevertheless, the mere thought of Zim having an Existence Evaluation made you burst into tears.

In spite of his numerous sins, you knew Zim never meant to cause so much trouble.

All Zim ever wanted to do was prove he was worthy of respect.

The life of a short Irken was filed with ridicule and discrimination.  You could never even imagine what it felt like to be as short as Zim.

He was even shorter than Skoodge!

It was a miracle he didn’t end up a Table-headed Service drone nor The Tallest’s personal foot stool.

You thanked your lucky stars you had the privilege to train with him.

Despite all the hateful words flung his way, you quickly learned that all of them were untrue.

From the moment you met Zim, you knew he was someone extraordinary.

He had more passion, determination, perseverance, and loyalty than anyone else.

Zim fought tooth and claw every day just to prove that he was just as worthy as anyone else.

And you deeply admired him for that.

No matter what anyone else said, you always stood by Zim’s side.

You cheered him on during training, you patched up his wounds, you even listened to him vent about his day.

Whenever Zim said he’d be a Tallest someday, you genuinely believed him.

He may have been short, but by god did he have the spirit of a leader.

Over time, you and Zim begun to fall in love.

Unfortunately, due to the drastic height difference, you and Zim had to keep the relationship a secret.

As time went on, you became the highest ranking general the Irken Army had to offer and Zim became an Invader.

You couldn’t have been more proud of him! You always knew he was destined for greatness!

Even after the catastrophe that was Operation Impending Doom 1, you still never gave up on Zim.

Unfortunately, the rest of the Empire didn’t feel the same.

Not one little bit

You thought that once Zim had been banished to the far reaches of the Galaxy he would be safe!

However, Red and Purple had been planning Zim’s Existence Evaluation for quite some time now.

You tried to talk them out if it. After all, Red and Purple adored you. You were so sure they’d listen.

Oh how wrong you were.

Red and Purple simply laughed in your face and thought you were joking.

As much as you wanted to fight for Zim, you didn’t want to upset Red and Purple.

Despite their trashy behavior, Red and Purple were still The Tallest and you had to respect them whether you liked it or not.

And you really really didn’t like it.

Neither Red nor Purple had any business being in a leadership position.

Both of them were arrogant, selfish, and childish.

They didn’t give a sandworm’s last whisker about Irk! All they cared about was snacks and which poor Navigator to yell at.

You always hated being invited to ‘oversee’ their ‘projects’.

You knew damn well that was just code for asking you on a date.

You could usually get away with declining but not today.

Every Irken was required to be present for an Existence Evaluation.

And you were given a front row seat.

You dragged your feet as you slunk inside the judgement hall.

“Hey Y/N! Over here!”

The sound of Purple’s excited voice woke you from your thoughts.

You jumped a bit before scurrying over to his side.

“Ah! Y/N! Glad you could make it. This Existence Evaluation wouldn’t nearly be as enjoyable without you.” Red purred as he floated over to you.

“But it would still be pretty enjoyable. After all, Zim’s totally going to be deleted!” Purple chuckled.

“Yeah! We’ll finally be rid of him!”

Red and Purple burst into a loud fit of laughter while you fought back the urge to cry.

Had they really no shame? Not even the tiniest inkling of remorse?

You held your tongue as you turned your attention to the center of the hall.

The Control Brains loomed ominously over The Spike of Judgement as they waited fir Zim’s arrival.

You always hated those dumb Brains.

Their rules were always so ridiculous! 

In fact it was their very rules that stood in the way between you and Zim!

You tried not to scowl as you took in a deep breath.

FWUMP!

Zim was tossed into the center of the Spike of Judgment.

He looked a bit bruised and confused but other than that Zim seemed fine.

“ZIM, YOUR TIME HAS COME. PREPARE FOR ALL YOU DESERVE,” The first Control Brain bellowed.

Zim jumped a bit as he felt a shudder run down his spine.

“Eh?! Oh! A surprise party?! That’s what this was all about?! I was wondering why I was beaten up and transported from Earth to this place! A party for Zim!” 

Zim sounded cheerful but you knew that nothing could be further from the truth.

You could see the panic radiate from his beautiful magenta eyes.

He was simply in denial to protect his mind from the truth.

“SILENCE! ALL WILL BE MADE CLEAR ZIM.” The first Brain bellowed, almost sounding annoyed.

“Geez this is a party, lighten up!” Zim huffed as he rolled his eyes, “Hey can I make a quick call?”

The guards exchanged annoyed glances before begrudgingly agreeing.

After a few minutes, Zim returned to the center of the Spike of Judgement.

“C’mon hurry up and praise me! Every second I spend off Earth is time lost! Zim time! Because I am Zim!!” 

“IT MAKES NOISES.” The second Control Brain bellowed.

“BOTHERSOME NOISES” Replied the third.

Zim looked over and let out an excited gasp.

“My Tallest! And Y/N! This really *is* a surprise party! You honor me greatly on the most wobbly gelatinous parts of my squeedilyspooch!” 

You let out a whimper as you turned away from Zim’s excited grin.

“That’s Zim! Start already!” Purple commanded.

And with that, The Control Brains plugged into Zim’s PAK and begun the Evaluation.

You watched Zim’s memories playback on a large monitor next to The Control Brains.

While Zim did indeed commit quite a few atrocities, most if not all of them were the result of accidents.

It wasn’t long before Zim realized what was going on.

After a comical escape attempt, Zim was dragged back to Judgementia and plugged back into the Control Brains.

“OUR RULING: ZIM’S I.D PAK IS DAMAGED AND HAS LED TO A CORRUPT DATA PATH. HE IS...A DEFECTIVE!” The first Control Brain bellowed.

“But..I can’t live without my PAK!” Zim wailed.

Purple opened his mouth to speak but you cut him off.

“WAIT!! Almighty Control  Brains! Please spare him!”

The entire room gasped before falling silent.

“IT DARES TO DEFIE US?” Asked The second brain

“HOW FOOLISH” replied the third.

“Y/N ARE YOU CRA-“

“GENERAL Y/N. STATE WHY ZIM’S I.D PAK SHOULD NOT BE DELETED.” The first Brain ordered “YOU HAVE ONE MINUTE”

 You cleared your throat and took in a deep breath.

“Almighty Control Brains, while it’s true that Zim has committed many atrocities, I believe these atrocities to be the result of mere accidents and not the result of a damaged PAK. Therefore I propose that Zim train in my boot camp in order to correct these mistakes!” Your voice was laced with a slight plea as a few tears trickled down your cheeks.

The first Control Brain hummed for a moment.

“YOUR OFFER SOUNDS INTERESTING....”

Both you and Zim lit up but it was way too early to celebrate.

“HOWEVER IT SHALL BE DENIED.”

“WHAT?!” You and Zim exclaimed in unison.

In a last ditch effort to save Zim you cried out.

“If you won’t accept my offer than delete my PAK instead!”

Another gasp echoed throughout the hall as Purple fainted into Red’s arms.

“Y/N NO! ARE YOU INSANE?!” Zim yelped.

In spite of everyone’s protests you continued.

“My PAK data is just as damaged if not more so than Zim’s! I am one of the few Irkens capable of feeling compassion and,” you looked into Zim’s eyes, “.......affection...”

“IT WISHES TO SACRIFICE ITS LIFE FOR THE DEFECTIVE’S?” Asked the second Brain.

“THIS ONE TRULY IS FOOLISH.” The third Brain tutted.

The first Control Brain almost seemed surprised

“GENERAL Y/N, ARE YOU CERTAIN YOU WISH TO SACRIFICE YOUR PAK DATA IN EXCHANGE FOR ZIM’S?”

“Y/N NO-ACK!”

ZAP!

Zim was cut of by a shock from the first Brain.

“Yes! Yes I am! Just as long as you spare Zim!” You pleaded as you looked into the many eyes of the first Brain.

“Y/N NO-“ Red cried out

“VERY WELL. IN EXCHANGE FOR GENERAL Y/N’S PAK DATA, ZIM

SHALL BE SPARED FOR NOW.” The first Brain interjected.

“Y/N!!!!! NOOOOO!!!!” Zim wailed as the first Brain released his PAK.

FWIP!

CLANG!

The first Brain latched on to your PAK and dragged you to the center of the spike of Judges.

“Control Brains! Stop this at once! General Y/N is not a defective!” Red pleaded as a few tears trickled down his cheeks.

“THE DECISION HAS ALREADY BEEN MADE. COMMENCING DELETION PROTOCOL!” 

With another ZAP! You felt the life slowly drain from your PAK.

Zim let out a panicked cry and shoved past the guards.

“Y/N! Why...Why would you do this?! Why would you something so stupid?!” 

You gave Zim a sad smile and caressed his face.

“Because I love you....”

With a soft sniffle you gazed deeply into Zim’s magenta eyes.

“One day you will realize...The stars you are chasing shine bright deep inside you...but will you ever let it shine from within... And cast all your fears aside... You’ll see the light but until that day comes...”

Zim burst into tears as he desperately clung to your gentle hands.

You winced but still tried to keep a smile.

“My dearly beloved, be strong I shall be there. Always here beside you. So keep your head held high..”

Zim tried his best to hold you close as you kept singing.

“The shadows of this world will try to steal you away into their arms but you belong in mine...”

You returned the hug and let out a soft purr.

“We are one within a dream, so hold me close and count the stars with me... All our scattered memories... I will find the pieces one by one..”

Zim clung to you for dear life. 

The Control Brains lifted you up in a poor attempt to shake Zim off of you, only fir him to cling tighter.

“Solar flares fly over me... I’ll keep you in my memory...”

You and Zim were gently spinning in the air. 

If Red didn’t know any better he’d assumed you and Zim had planned this as some kind of elaborate performance before Zim was deleted.

“This dream that lives within your eyes, I wish to see it come to life.”

Both you and Zim were in tears as the song continued

“A thousand blades into the sky, reach out and link our worlds, yours and mine. Let the stars rush over you. And one day I know we shall meet again!”

“My dearly beloved, be strong I shall be there. Always here beside you. So keep your head held high. The shadows of this world will try to steal you away into their arms but you belong in mine! ” Zim’s desperate plea melted with your voice.

You pulled Zim into a gentle kiss and sung softly.

“My dearly beloved...”

Just as you felt your last spark of life start to fade-

CRACK! CRASH!

Zim pulled with all his might and tore you free from The first Brain’sclutches.

Wasting no time, Zim scooped you up into his arms, hopped into his Voot and took you back to Earth with him.

Once he made it back to his base, he immediately hooked your PAK up to a medical bay.

After days of tedious labor, your F/C eyes finally opened.

“Y/N! You’re ok!” Tears of joy spilled down Zim’s cheeks as he caressed your face.

“Zim? I... I’m alive?” Your voice was dry and scratchy.

“Yes! So very much alive!”

 You let out a soft laugh.

“I knew we’d meet again...”

“Yes! And I’ll never ever let you leave my side!” Zim sobbed as he gently held you close.

“Don’t worry, I promise I’ll never leave you again, My dearly beloved

[justalokifanaccount]

Episode 2-Play by Play Reactions (Spoilers)

Ooooooh mysterious...

Oh so this variant can (at least briefly) cont people with a simple touch? No need for a scepter?

I NEED A HEROOO!

Oh this variant is taking that lady away? I wonder why

Miss Minutes is gonna move me to violence

Loki is me studying

Hahahahaha get her Loki!

Loki, leave Mobius’ magazines alone

Wow he got into the work force rather fast huh? Bit of a whiplash type scenario considering the end of episode one

No, YOU’RE a cosmic mistake! 😤 my boy looks hot regardless

Sooooo Loki is the most common variant? Why does this not surprise me?

Is... is he a football cup champion??? Omg 😂

Smart boy. Illusion projecting is different than duplication casting. Neato. LISTEN TO MY SMART BOY. RESPECT HIM.

Dude loves wheeling

Yea Loki. Work on getting to the time keepers. Overthrow the government.

Dude is smart with these questions.

Propaganda is INDEED exhausting so that’s fair

Fist hostage... maybe he’s (or she?) gonna use her as a body transfer like Loki in the comics with Sif?

Oh please let this be a genuine smart Loki moment and not just setting him up as a joke and embarrassment...

“Where there are wolf’s ears, wolf’s teeth are near.” Good to know basic mammalian anatomy is still applicable to Asgardian wolves...

Cmon Loki do something cool. Please. Please Loki. Please.

Preach my man, but please, do something cool. My anxiety that you’ll be turned into a joke is spiking.

Is he actually waiting outside or is Loki really just trying to mess with them and throw them off? Or is he just being too cocky for his own good and it’s gonna mess him up? Please please please don’t disappoint me. I have merch for this show already that I can’t return

Bargain baby, bar again. Do it.

Is he actually concerned for the time keepers orrrrrr

Dangit Mobius

Does... being reset... hurt?

Bye C-20 I guess... for now? We’ll see

Of course it’s a friggin theremin that’s playing

Mobius x Judge Renslayer? Oooooooh. Tsundere Renslayer.

Use a coaster my man

Oh her first name is Ravonna

Controversy is the best thing though

You can never understand this Loki. As soon as you begin to understand, he changes. He’s unpredictable.

“I know you have a soft spot for broken things.” Ah, so this entire fandom then?

“But Loki is an evil, lying scourge.” YOU TAKE THAT BACK YOU WENCH!

“That is the part he plays in the sacred timeline.” Well you clearly haven’t been paying enough attention to the files then, hm? Here, let me redirect you to one of the many character analyses I’ve written. Now if you read here........

He doesn’t need to change. He’s already not evil

I don’t trust Renslayer or the time keepers... or Renslayer WITH the time keepers... I think she plays a bigger, antagonistic role than I thought.

You just TRY and delete him Mobius... just... TRY... I will find a way to break the fourth wall and no time keepers can keep you safe from the rage of a million fan girls. Nothing... we don’t need magic...

Omg Loki just sitting there in a chair outside the office like a kid while their parent is talking with the teacher about their “recent behavior”.

Cmon Loki, you don’t need to make excuses or impress him.

My poor boy is SOOO out of his zone.

Tbf mobius, you ASKED. You asked what makes him tick.

Hey hey hey, let’s not gaslight my boy...

The Loki is... uhhh something... gotta keep my hopes up. Trust in Tom Hiddleston...

Mobius showing his true colors...

Please Loki... be badass... not just a joke... please please please... PLEASE!

Mobius, play nice.

I hope this “superior” Loki thing, if it is a female, isn’t a desperate attempt at feminism pandering, chocking up her “superiority” to being female. Please give the characters real stories. Flesh them out.

Juice box time?

No?

More homework?

Bugger...

The sass is off the charts

Librarian lady gonna get killed

Oh boy

Pffffft—

I miss Casey.

Hey don’t ignore Loki. That’s rude.

Bell is the answer?

Poor Loki. Stop trying to fit in. You are best when you are genuinely yourself.

What’s to stop Loki from grabbing the other files?

Homework... I thought I escaped this when I graduated...

Whatcha seeing there?

Oh...

Bye bye Asgard...

Cmon... not more feels.

AGGHHHHHHHH

Please allow him confirmation of Thor’s survival and beating of Thanos!!! He needs that confirmation! He needs that reassurance.

Hear him out Mobius.

“He’s hiding in apocalypses.” Sooooo is that why they go to presumably Mount Vesuvius? I assume?

Mobius, let Loki have your salad.

Rip salad

CASEY

Casey’s juice box

Poor Casey and mobius salad...

Loki, your logic astounds me.

Well, pushing Hulk off of the bridge WOULD have an effect...

VESUVIUS HERE WE COME

He hasn’t really stabbed anyone in the back... except Thor... but not 50 times

Pompeii, here we come!

Ooooooh we gonna see Loki dance with a lady? 😏 get ittttt

Well, if you do cause a branch, can’t you just reset the timeline?

CAUSE SOME CHAOS MY LOVELY MAN

OMG IM HEARING THE LOVE OF MY LIFE SPEAK ITALIAN

I can die happy now

Loki... you look insane.

Uhhh run

Okay you’re good

Sleepy Loki

Let him sleep!

Soooo, I mean, technically, Loki’s actions would still cause the timeline to change, but said change wouldn’t have an impact on the future, just the current moment... so shouldn’t it still be detected by the TVA? At least as a little fleck?

Jet skis?

Omg I just snorted at Loki begrudgingly agreeing with Mobius that jet skis are awesome

Mobius offending my History Teachers for 50 minutes straight... that’s it. That’s the episode.

Mobius really in love with jet skis for some reason

We better get to see Mobius on a jet ski

Fighting for jet skis?

Lol mobius has a point about the magical Asgardians and Jötunns

Glorious purpose

Cmon Loki, destroy this man’s beliefs.

OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT

DO IT

TEAM UP AND THROW THE TIMELINE INTO CHAOS

How would you know what the time keepers are doing when you’ve never met them?

How can you meet in peace at the end of time with no chaos?

“You see, I know something children don’t. That no one bad is ever truly bad. And no one good is ever truly good.”

Mobius, don’t patronize my boy. Go jet skiing.

“I know.” Oh good, that point in the trailer was edited.

No candy on Asgard? Poor Loki.

May the best man win? Well that automatically means Loki.

Getting National Treasure vibes

Love you

Alabama will still exist in 2050? That’s disappointing.

Roxxcart.

Loki is very smart. Thank you show.

Renslayer, if you claim Mobius is your friend, trust him.

Kachow!

“For all time.” “Always.” TVA is definitely a cult.

Weapon?

WEAPON!

...weapon???

no weapon...

Meanie...

Are we gonna see what this Loki variant looks like?

I have a feeling this variant is gonna be the female, blonde (I’m so sorry, at the moment I forget her name) in those pictures we saw. Guessing because 1) she was wearing a Loki outfit. 2) her and tom Hiddleston were wet in that picture as if rained on 3) the scene when they enter Roxxcart occurs when it starts to rain due to the upcoming massive storm. So I’m placing all of my money on the table the Loki variant is Lady Loki. Blonde, for some reason. (Or maybe she just didn’t have a wig on in the picture of her we saw?)

Yea please don’t prune this Loki.

Storms a brewing

Good to know Alabama, at some point, does get destroyed. That’s comforting. (Btw this is a joke. I have nothing against Alabama lol. Idk why my brain thought this was funny lol.)

All wet and rainy.

HAHAHAHA USE THAT MAGIC BABY

LET MOBIUS STICK WITH LOKI

Ooh ooh! Is Loki gonna use powers to yoink the roomba here?

Uh oh. Forgot to take into consideration that most big businesses, especially stores, have security cameras, huh?

Times ticking...

Wait was that a reset charge?

Awkward silence

Spookyyyy

Poor dude lol

Or not

Hmmm

Oh???

I RECOGNIZE THAT MAGIC!!! ITS HER!!!

HUNTER (forget her number) IS THE LOKI VARIANT!!! When was she replaced? Or was she always the variant?

That or the other Loki is projecting herself into the hunter? Maybe used the shopping dude as a conduit?

Moment of realization

Smiling contest

No no, Tom Hiddleston’s Loki is superior. I don’t care who else tries to play Loki, Tom IS Loki.

Oh no

Baby crying?

These poor people...

No need to be rough

Is Mobius genuinely caring

Oh... poor C-20

Team up please? Please?

Ah so they really can just send themself into any body they wish, huh? Just by touch?

Loki, learn that trick please.

Sooo, is the other variant Loki’s body tangible? Do they project their conscience into other bodies via touch, or do they not have a corporeal body and rely on others to exist?

Doctor Who vibes

TEAM UP PLEASE

YES

Please

Please?

Offended by Loki name?

Haha sympathy for Thor

Go randy.

Soooo what are you interested in if not ruling the TVA?

Who’s that planting charges? The real body of the other variant Loki?

You okay C-20? (Off topic her actress reminds me of the actress who played Ava Star aka Ghost in Ant-Man and the Wasp) what is real and what about it is so mind capturing for you?

Oh no

Poor girl

Cmon B-15

Hello?

Reset charge

Oh? Bye bye?

HEY!

That’s rude

I miss Randy too

Cmon Loki fight like the badass I know you are

Please

HAHA! TELEKINESIS

Cartwheel WEEEEE

Oooh he swore

Lokis have a pattern of swearing only while taking other peoples forms

Cmon Loki. Go back to mobius. Help them. Prove your goodness. Please.

Poor trucker man

Hello?

Hello!

Fave reveal?

I KNEW IT

Oh????

Flashlights?

RUN!

Is this actually a Loki variant or just sylvie? Or Amora?

Uh oh...

What’s happening

Is she absolutely destroying the timeline?

Poor Doctor Strange. I wonder if he knows about the TVA?

Loki is all alone? Why is he standing still?

Where is she going?

Cmon Loki... help them please...

Loki...

CLIFF HANGER

NOOOOO I CANT WAIT ANOTHER WEEK AGHHHHHHHH

Are they gonna be okay?

How is the variant traveling?

What is her goal?

Why is Loki going after her?

Why is Loki leaning towards the apparent evil side?

Is this actually lady Loki or sylvie or amora since her hair is blonde?

WHAT IS HAPPENING???

So much just happened in so little time. It’s like Marvel wants to slowly spoon feed us with the first 3/4 of the episode and then in the last 1/4, they waterboard us.

Why is this female Loki variant so much more powerful?

So Loki DID know what was going on at the Renaissance fair and was intentionally stalling for her... why?

Her horned helmet is similar to the one kid(?) Loki wears in the comics. One horn broken. How did that happen? Why does she still wear it, especially if she doesn’t want to be called Loki?

No end credit scene yet.

[kpchrs]

About the thoroughness, I just made it all up so fast and slowly built them whenever I had ideas. It's easier than actually writing the fic tbh. Most of them emerged because I answered some questions from other people or from me. A few of them are there because I found plotholes and I was like, "Oh no!" and then I had to make up a reason.

Btw, about the last point, yes of course it's not gonna be to the extent of Chapter 39 LOL xD But it's something like that. You know?

My friend actually asked what Nathan would project and this is my answer:

btw thx for the compliments? im glad u like it. i only wrote it because i actually wanna write it! so its no big. its been weird to get compliments i forgot to actually say thx LOL

BONUS:

"Please, stop this! This is...illegal!"

"Oh, you think this is illegal? This is perfectly legal! You want the REAL illegal stuff? I can do my worst!" -> obviously just scaring them

"NOOOOO! STOP, STOP, I WILL TELL YOU EVERYTHING!"

*Nathan and Max slap each other's palms behind their backs*

Fun facts about the Crack because I love to yap-yap, yackety-yack:

Obviously HEAVY spoilers to the Crack if anyone hasn't and wanna read it lol (Edit: I accidentally posted a post too early again. Gah. Whatever.)

This is inspired by Detective Conan (because it's the first murder mystery story I consumed, The Organisation is NOT the Black Organisation, btw), Sherlock (Max's way of solving the mystery, kinda), TBOSAS (the unreliable narrator), Agatha Christie and Sherlock Holmes (the narration vibe, kinda, I scanned them before I started writing it), Ace Attorney (the ridiculous names), and etc.

This is not the original idea. The original idea was...I think it's just a variation of the opening of my comment to AWIC. So it was supposed to be a short thing in AWIC comment section, but instead of a full blown case, Max and Nathan are solving MY death and the culprit is Céline @celinou LOL

THIS plot is inspired by my convo last October with Puni @riverinkfics while I was talking about maybe writing it as a oneshot instead. Out of nowhere, I got a vision of an unreliable narrator murderer POV but Max knows about it because she just jumped from the future. Then my brain just flowed to Max snapping Sussy's photo and bombing him with a murder accusation out of nowhere. And, there, I just got my plot bones.

I got the idea last October but I only started writing it in March because I think I had other things to do. When I posted it yesterday, it was minutes after I just finished writing it lmao

In the first plot draft, it's supposed to have soooo many rewinds, but, damn, I don't have the energy to do that. So I decided to cut it. Behold my notes and my handwriting! I wrote these in a Chinese family restaurant at Sunday noon.

My early struggle was how to involve Nathan and his powers in this oneshot, but then I got the idea to use his powers to scare interrogate people. And I figured that, huh, I didn't have to write it at all lol This is months before AWIC ends so it's a coincidence. My next struggle was figuring out why Sussy was there in the first place lol

I actually don't like first povs (both reading and writing), but third pov didn't agree with me when I started writing it so I tried for a first and I found it easier to write.

I tried to base the Max and Nathan in this crack on Céline's Max and Nathan, characterisation and all. (I mean, since this is a fanfiction to AWIC.) But I only base it on my memories, so I dunno how accurate it is. But this is Max and Nathan who have grown up and put on a detective persona so lol They are only truly themselves in the banter part.

This crack was supposed to be funnier, but the longer and longer I wrote Sussy's background and narration, the unfunnier and the more serious it was. That guy is such a dramatic theatre kid. Kinda a shame, but I rolled with it.

I didn't mean to post that teaser that early actually xD I meant to post that teaser when the fic was finished but alas…I accidentally posted it. "Surprise" for Céline's word was not randomly generated at all. I clicked 'Generate' on the Random Word Generator a lot to have the word I wanted. It's actually to say "Surprise!" I didn't expect Céline to really treat the post as a WIP Game xD That post was all crafted as a teaser from head to toe lol

At first the deadline was "As Soon As Possible", but then I didn't touch it for months. Coming back to comment on @weer02 Ver's chapters got me into a writing groove (lol I was so thankful), so for a week I was on the roll at that rate I could post it at the end of November. But then I got distracted by Life™ and I lost the groove again. The deadline had been "After Céline's Birthday", "Before Christmas", "After Christmas", and "Whatever You Have to Do, Finish It Before 2024 Ends, Kris!" lol I made it, yay!

In this world, Max and Nathan are a successful detective duo the sleuth world known as "The Photographing Detectives", because they always take photos everywhere with an expensive ass camera and a vintage Polaroid. Max DOES take a photo of their clients immediately when they enter the office. It's a legit procedure so Max can go back whenever and wherever when it's necessary. So yes, Max does bring a pile of relevant Polaroids everywhere with her. They are her weapons lol

There is a conspiracy theory because they are so good at their job that they use money (because people know Nathan is a rich boy) to make up all these cases they solve to build their image. But there is no evidence. (Duh.)

Nathan and Max's powers are so powerful now that they are drunk in it. They use their powers for power tripping. It's kinda fucked LOL

"Psychic detectives? No, no, just time-traveling ones" is Max's catchphrase that people never remember because she immediately rewinds that.

Max's office uniform is a T-shirt and jeans because she likes comfy. The grey blazer is to compromise with the professional detective world. (When Nathan found out that she just replaced her jacket with a blazer, he rolled his eyes and gave up.) I wrote that part months before the announcement of Double Exposure so yes, I've rejected Max Caulfield's fashion sense in DE from the start.

Despite him rolling eyes at Max's grey blazer, he then follows suit because they need to match, yeah? So yes, he wears a grey suit too with a black shirt inside.

Because Céline and I love our colour symbolism, this means this duo is treading on grey morality lol Because their investigation ways are not really that moral. Yep.

Max and Nathan are still great at photography. People who know them are actually amazed at the casual photos they sometimes share on the internet.

Of course, the interior design of the office is a combination of their respective aesthetics. The name board is Nathan's design.

I think it's obvious but Sussy quotes Agent Dale Cooper in S1E2 of Twin Peaks when he drinks the coffee. For some reason, it's the one thing that's different from the previous loop so Max is genuinely entertained. I got the idea to include this two days ago when I watched the episode while washing dishes. (EPISODE 2??? Okay, yeah, so I haven't really continued Twin Peaks, mmkay. I rewatched E2 because I forgot what it was about.)

Because Max has heard all the sob stories Sussy told her, she zones out while waiting to drop the one-liner. What she thinks about: "When will he finish? Have I done my laundry for today, do I have underwear? Should I just go make a sandwich but still pretend to listen? When will he finish so I can drop my killer one-liner? Ha. Killer one-liner. I'm so punny." When she does drop the bomb, she is so giddy inside like: "Holy crap, I feel like Sherlock. This is so fun ksjhisjcwe"

When Max bombards Sussy with the details of his murder, it's a half bluff deduction and half the information Nathan got from the case remains. Not the corpse tho. Nathan refuses to take time memories from human remains. It's really bad for his psyche after a while and we know his is quite fragile. Basically, you experience the deaths in first pov so. Even more so when their powers got even stronger. So if Max's nerf is still the intervals between time jumps, this is the one that nerfs him. Sure, it'd be the easiest thing, but do we want him to be in the psych ward? I don't think so. (This is the reason why Nathan wears gloves. (Black btw, because that's sexy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)) Not that he can't control it, but…just in case.) Also, you are not the greatest detectives ever if you just see it, not solve it. They should have been a psychic duo instead, but that's less fun, maybe. (Nathan watching Psych: "Ha! Look, they are our opposites!")

Technically with their powers, they could have been a vigilante duo to save people left and right instead of solving crimes that have happened but that's in another alternate universe, I guess lmaooo

They have fans and shippers. Like us. But cue the moment when they found out their backstories and did a witchhunt on Nathan.

Mr Sussy Murderer and Ms Lily Dead. Silly names and anagrammed last names. Sussy's last name can be a reference to "demurrer".

It means nothing for Sussy because he didn't "so what" any of them anyway. Btw, I thought his name gave it right away that he's the killer? lol That was my worry. I guess I distracted people well.

Whenever Max calls him "Mr De Murrer", it's actually her calling him "Mr Murderer".

There was this one line I couldn't include in the final form because I didn't know where to put it, but it was: “My first case was a missing girl turned dead, just like this one.”

After Sussy runs away, Max is actually lmao-ing in the office and still lmao-ing when Nathan finally arrives.

In this AU, Nathan and Max have relied their life on their powers so much I imagine if the powers suddenly are gone for good, they are fucked. They will have to re-learn how to walk in a world full of uncertainty. Walk as mortals, mwahahaha!

I know I shouldn't explain unreliable narration, but while Sussy lies to Max a lot, or like almost all the time because of course, Sussy's inner narration is always truthful to how the whole thing really went, except for when he omits the details. But there is one point when his dialogue and inner narration agree with each other.

If you think about it, Sussy and Max are performing a theatre play for each other in that room, the difference is Sussy's is scripted while Max's is an improv. Sussy performs right after he enters the office and ends when Max drops the bomb. Max performs from when she says, "Yes, of course I've heard of you, Mr De Murrer" til Sussy runs because it's fun for her and she's a prankster. So yes, this fic is just a huge prank from her.

Now that I think about it, Nathan in AWIC is a theatre kid too loool? "One theatre kid walks into a detective agency of two theatre kids'..." Sorry he didn't get to perform lol

What would Nathan do to Sussy in the end? Something like Chapter 39 of AWIC lol

Feel free to ask anything if any, I maybe can answer pfft

[reannabeth]

Couple more tiny complaints about Rott that no one cares about, but I just gotta get them off my chest.

RET-CONNING

there’s the most obvious example of this: the resetting of the entire series to be done once again but differently. So many different levels of wrong here, but we all know that by now so I’ll just move on.

The center of the universe thing? Goes against one of the first episodes of 3 Below, where Krel says the center of the universe is actually far far away from Earth, least of all, California. That was stupid anyway.

Why the frick-frack tic-tac paddywhack did the heartstone come back, full commission? You’re telling me Jim and Claire and the whole of Trollmarket had to endure a long, tiring journey TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE US, only for it to jump up into bellroc’s waiting arms? W H Y

((Also, I still really wish they’d done a season 4 of trollhunters about that journey and such. Like, c’mon. Such an interesting concept, and we could’ve seen more troll interactions and Jim leaning into his trollish ways a bit more. I want more of troll!jim anyway, because I needed more time to get used to his new voice))

Don’t even get me started on time-travel. Why? Why did they feel the need to include it, AGAIN? We had d’aja vu, unbecoming, and Wizards. Now this too? I mean, COME ON. Why isn’t there two Jims? Why can’t everyone else go too? Is it a different timeline now?

And destiny too! Apparently the amulet didn’t choose Jim for his pure heart, just for him being human. This makes Unbecoming less impactful and simultaneously makes Merlin out to be even more of a buttsnack (am I supposed to be sad that he died?)

now for the long one: CHARACTERS

Douxie: horribly side-lined, other than that, his character was pretty spot-on and I love him all the more for it. That being said: WHY WASN’T HE A MAIN PLAYER? C’MON!! HE IS NINE FREAKING CENTURIES OLD!!

Claire: Kind of reduced to “oh no J I M” again. She’s so experienced now (somehow) and yet they sideline her too? They are cowards for not almost having her die, and even more cowardly for not making her hair all the way white.

Toby: Toby was the wingman, and proud to be. He never wanted to be the main man, so the fact that they chose him to be the new trollhunter was stupid and I will forever be bitter about that. He was proud of being moral support, and he could’ve still helped in the minimal ways he does. Or they could’ve just let him die. Would’ve been a real ballsy move, me thinks.

Nomura: :’(((

Strickler: Love him, but he’s stupid. His death (and Nomura’s for that matter) were totally and completely avoidable and DANGIT I wanted a Stricklake wedding 😡

Barbara: Where the frick did she even go? Would’ve been cool if she was on the sidelines, helping with injuries and such.

Not!Enrique: Gone :(

Same with Chompsky

Zoe: *cries in so much potential*

Aja: Actually pretty intelligent, yet made out to be harsh? Her points were valid what the fuzzbuckets

Steve: No explanation needed. Hate Mpreg with a passion. Killing off potential.

Eli: glow-up and sidelined

Krel: My boy was side-lined so hard, I’m pretty sure he was just goofing around in akiridion for a while

Varvatos: honestly didn’t need more of him, he was fine :D

Skrael: Wanted him to turn sides, ended up cheering his death

Nari: bby N O

Bellroc: wish I understood them more. Kind of two-dimensional

Jim: boy, I freaking love this kid. He’s definitely one of my favorite characters of all time, ever. So to say I am mad about his characterization in this movie is the understatement of the year. SO many things off about him in this.

1. Voice. I barely got used to it for his troll-form, as I mentioned before. This movie didn’t help much. I appreciate the thought that Emile was Anton’s friend, but the truth of the matter is that his voice simply does not fit the way Anton’s did. Either they should’ve tried to make it sound like Anton (mixing in some sounds from trollhunters, or getting a vocal coach) or they should’ve found someone that sounds like him.

2. His role. Why, oh WHY, was he the head honcho in this movie? Huh? He was the TROLLHUNTER. These are NOT trolls!! This was more of Claire and Douxie’s expertise, or even Zoe (I am still crushed they didn’t involve her, btw). Even at the end of Trollhunters, Jim was no match for Morgana. Why is everyone following his lead? Especially now that he doesn’t have his amulet. It just does not make sense. At all.

3. His Arc. The truth of the matter is Jim’s character has been very thoroughly explored already. He already went through the whole why was I chosen? bout in unbecoming. The teamwork thing, too. Both of which were very poorly handled in this movie. And not to mention, his lack of empathy overall. When Douxie finally got his body back after the switch (which seemed very draining and excruciating), Jim immediately grilled him about Nari’s council instead of checking in on his friend/new brother figure. That is so out of character for him, wow. When Nari died, he pulled Douxie back (so did others, but still). What exactly was the purpose of that? Is Jim this all-knowing leader that you have to listen to? NO! Douxie is 9 centuries his senior.

4. Giving up the amulet. It seems for all this movie’s messages, it even happens to ret-con those as well. Jim spent the whole movie trying to be worthy of having the amulet, and for a dashing moment, the pay off was worth it! Seeing him use it again sent chills all over my body. And then he gave up and shifted the responsibility to his best friend, who had just died in the other timeline, and decided to help from the sidelines. What kind of message even is that? Imagine kids like, “Oh yeah, Mommy! I’ll be just like Jim, step off to the sidelines and have you do my project and take the fall if it goes wrong! Have fun!” Like,,, w h a t.

5. Leaving Claire. I am especially mad about this one. As beautiful and heart-wrenching that good-bye moment was, it was completely and utterly unnecessary and I actually found myself unable to feel super bad for them, simply because there was the simplest solution:

GO BACK IN TIME TO BEFORE THE EVENTS OF THE MOVIE HAPPENED!!!

Why did they start all the way over? Just… why. W H Y

I just wanted closure. teamwork and rainbows and slicey-slice and sprinkle of death, and then college graduation and stricklake wedding and the end. But NoOoOo

They just had to be all revolutionary, using one of the oldest and most hated tropes since the beginning of mankind.

:(

[misterbitches]

wait honsetly i do not give a shit if u like couples that i think are dumb or poorly written so if u get offended by this it’s ur fault

but im confused

am i stupid for not understanding the relationship between that high schooler and the old man? like....what am i missing here? it’s not healthy, or right, and it doesn’t really matter. it doesn’t mean no one can like it but i’m like confused at pretending that it’s like positive and healthy or whatever like at best it’s embarrassing and fucking stupid at worst it’s uhhhhh gross and probably illegal (not that it matterse bc crime is BS and this person wouldnt be persecuted anyway so)

like i know these writers don’t care, can’t write, think writing “shocking” things that everyone else has already done is like a big deal but they are doing the exact thing like with every ~pRobLEmAtIc~ storyline—which btw we need to start calling it what it is: misogynist, patriarchal, capital inducing, transphobic, toxic, fucking strange and also just a stupid way to get people to absorb information. like being specific about the actual problems not just atlking around it and alos breaking it down—it’s coercing people into liking it because it’s not about the content in their differences. they barely take that into account. i’m kind of surprised at the idea of longterm positivity in a relationship that cannot withstand that. and people do grow up and realize. 

i get their existence, i get why people would like it, but i don’t think you can sort of project positive things onto a relationship that is simply not positive and is not intended to be by the writers nature. even if it is accepted because harm is the norm, it upholds whatever power structures, so it’s like well fighting against that is the real story. like they exist but it’s not some statement about the lgbtq+ community particularly because that sort of relationship is common (in all communities) and uh not very good like i said and it NEEDS to be saved because that’s what these structures rely on it relies on being beholden to someone that you have no chance in matching at any point. it’s honestly a literal drag!

they dont hvae to break up or whatever but i kind of don’t get removing that reality from them. i mean i do because again this is what the writers do which is why it isnt effective, transgressive, or particularly fun (to me) and it’s so fucking common. it’s just like this IS the norm so it kind of needs to be pushed against.  i know they donnt give a shit but some of the comments im like.... am i imissing something did he like time travel to be an acceptable age or are we gonna accept he was lurking around a fuckin (immature as fuck) teenager. 

there’s def things that i like that i am also like “wow this is so gross” lmao there’s this brazilian movie about two brothers in a rship and they have an age gap and terrible parents and me and my best friend watched it when we were younger so we have like this place for it in our memory but we knew, and ofc back then, the immensely fucked up thing we were seeing. i can only stomach itif im extremely bored and it’s few and far between because IT IS S OFUCKING WEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD but they have good chemistry but it’s not like i dont see it. the film exists in a fake world too but idk enough about the background of the film and the filmmaker to know what their point was but i do know that it was a huge deal ther ebc gay and also the taboo nature and it was like. u know. bonkers lmao. also they were just two white brazilian dudes with money, probably some missing class commentary. in its nature everything about it is not something that i like (not reality of brazil idc abt white brazilians) and ummmm being fucking related. but look you know it was fucking fukced up and weird and the dudes did have chemistry. like seriously that movie so gross lmao so like we all have the capacity but im not gonna pretend it fucking makes sense like EW AND i wanted them to end up togehter but i still yell “EWWW NOOOOO NO NO but theyre so hot they have good chemistry OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO THIS IS OS BAD OH NO WHY IS THEIR DAD OKAY WITH IT OH NO WHAT AM I WATCHING?” and theyre so close it is SINCERELY creepy and the movie is like HERE U GO GUYS and u absolutely do not feel comfortable. it’s actually uncanny because everyone is comfortable with it in their lives that it makes it even more weird. it’s like picking at you consistently, you can’t ever forget. i don’t like that these shows make you forget. they allow you to remove this fucked up background and history and/or traumatic shit from your memory SIMPLY for enjoyment. and that’s not how life works, nor art. it isnt just there. and they say this has meaning. 

idk anyways that’s just how i feel cos i only thought whatshisface was like idk 5 yrs older than him and that wouldnt be better to me but i was rly like this nigga is 12 yrs older than him? bitch that’s literally r. kelly like im not joking LMAO im just like how r u pushing thirty dating a teenager my nigga i cannotttttt lmaoooo like ARE U NOT EMBARRASSED HOMIE? also like on a sociopolitical level this message actually fucking sucks like their marriage is shitty tbqh  lmao it took forever for taiwan to get to where it is and there’s still massive issues with their marriage laws (and what is afforded to people with marriage; just like eveyrwhere. marriage is important because of so many laws and rights and that is why it is necessary not just in the ceremony) so it’s like flabbergasting frankly people hav elike actually isssues or like papa+daddy about taiwan and these bozos are getting married like it’s boring at this point my god

idk

go back to film school lmao

imagine if this world gave a shit about  minorities and poor people even it’s literally just ......fuck man lmao i just cant let things rest. i didnt get this stupid degree and also just live 29 yrs on this earth to be able to like.....watch garbage without a critique so the garbage can continue meanwhile artists who give a shit have a harder time making things like listen kid. WRITE YOUR SCRIPTS. THESE FUCKERS CAN, YOU DO IT. look at this garbage! u can!!!! this is the advice i do not take myself

[lunarnoona5342]

So I had a second attempt at a Pokémon X nuzlocke and beat it this time

For those who don't know, a nuzlocke is a self-enforced game mode of Pokémon where you can only catch the first Pokémon you encounter on a route, you must nickname them to encourage closeness, and if the Pokémon faint in battle, they are dead: you can no longer use them. I added an extra rule onto the route rule: I can catch the first Pokémon that comes from a rock smash on a route, since that's something that can rarely be done on routes anyway, and also I'm prone to killing Pokémon so I needed a fighting chance at this. With the rules sorted, we can move onto my second attempt at a nuzlocke (with my best friend Mar (@serpentine-fxrtune) beside me to help name my Pokémon and mock my dead ones with bonus friends Bread and Ariel (@catboy5000))

I played as a male named Takehiko because me, Mar, and a couple other friends have a Pokémon fan project thing going on between us and Takehiko is one of my characters who is Kalosian. When I was offered to be nicknamed Big T at the beginning of the game, I could not refuse. I picked Froakie to be my starter and already had naming issues, so I consulted Mar for a nickname. She suggested the French word for frog, and I just went with it because, yanno, Kalos is based on France. And so, I gained my first Pokémon, Grenouille. I go to route 2 and encounter the obligatory Pidgey (which doesn't count as my first encounter, I don't have any Pokéballs at this point) and sit through Serena teaching me to catch Pokémon (who btw I forgot existed in this game) by talking to Mar about something I remembered.

Me: I just wanna talk about SKZ's English names, specifically Changbin's name. Like it's normal, it's just Lewis, but CHAN TRIED TO CONVINCE HIM TO BE CALLED BARTHOLOMEW, THAT'S LIKE IF I TRIED TO GIVE BREAD AN ARABIC NAME AND CHOSE TO NAME HIM ABDUL RAHMAN, THAT'S NOT EASY TO SAY.

Me: Should I name my first Pokémon Bartholomew, for what Changbin could have been?

Mar, ever the enabler: Sure, I can't really stop you.

So I named the Weedle I caught Bartholomew, and proceeded into Santalune forest.

So we move on (and I'm just ignoring rival battles because they're just not it) and out to route 3, where I caught a Fletchling. Following on from my SKZ English names talk from earlier, I named the bird Sky, because Seungmin's English name is cute goddammit. So when I got to Santalune, I ran into a problem: I had no Pokémon that could be super effective against Viola. I head over to route 22 nearby after grabbing the roller skates to try and get Riolu for a first encounter. Instead of that, I got a Bunnelby.

Me: You are not Riolu... so you shall be named Not Riolu.

So instead of fretting over the type advantage Viola had on me, I chose to grind for higher levels to beat her Pokémon up with power instead; this is when the first casualty came in.  Sky, the poor child, got killed by a Riolu using counter because peck didn't do the job of making it faint. Sky was the first to join the graveyaed (yes this is how I spelled it in game). Sky, though you were technically not Seungmin since you were female, you will be missed.

Also forgot to mention: Batholomew is a female too. Moving on-

So after spending a long time grinding, being a bit more careful this time, I finally felt like I was ready for Viola, and I was. I swept the floor with her, Grenouille carrying the team as he was a higher level than the rest. Upon reaching Viola's sister, Alexa, before route 4, I got an exp share, and then she reminded me of what happened in my first attempt at the nuzlocke.

Me: *says a thing about something being sad*

Me and Mar, at the same time: Alexa, play Despacito.

Mar: Name the Pokémon you catch on this route Despacito.

Me: Okay *gets a Flabébé*

Future me: *pockets memory for future Flabébé*

On route 4, I encounter a Skitty, but as I mentioned earlier, I am prone to killing Pokémon and end up killing the Skitty before I could catch it, so I just make my way over to Lumiose to get a Kanto starter after beating up all the trainers on the route.

So this was my conversation with Mar about which Kanto starter to pick (I have a grudge against Ch*rmander okay), and through this I chose its name too: Zekrom 💙

So on route 5 I catch a Furfrou that I nicknamed Floof because it floof and made my way to Camphier, where I went off with Shauna to get the Poké flute to get rid of the Snorlax blocking route 7. I collect the item, and on the way back I catch an Oddish that Mar named Pea for me. I got rid of the Snorlax by running the moment I interact with it - there was no way I'd fight that thing. Onto route 7, where I go into the purple flowers in hopes I get a blue Flabébé, but instead I got an orange one. Regardless of the colour, it was gonna be called Despacito.

In the connecting cave, I catch a Zubat that I named Ciel because I wanted to honour Sky by naming a bat the same thing, just Italian. I move on to route 8, where I get Shelly the Bagon, Shinju the Cubone from the Glistening Cave, and Itzy the Amaura from the fossil I got. It was on the other side of route 8 where the first of 2 rock smash Pokémon emerge, and I'm not sorry for killing the Binacle, it was Dwebble or nothing. In the Twitter thread I forgot to mention that I also caught a Helioptile that I nicknamed Frilly on route 9, but enough of that, now to Grant, the gym that killed my first Pokémon X nuzlocke...

Grant scared me a lot because of how I've always struggled to beat him even when I played normally: he's way too strong to just be a second gym leader. However, thanks to way too much grinding, I was able to beat Grant without any casualties.

So I can't remember how it happened, but at some point in route 10, Shinju died, I can't remember what caused it but it happened and ig I wasn't sad enough about it to remember. On route 10 though, I did get a Snubbull that I named Berri (Mar wanted to name it Ugli but I said No.)

So skip over Geosenge and off to route 11 and Reflective Cave, where I got Zappy the Dedenne and I then killed a Roggenrola by accident because, despite its sturdy ability, it still got hurt by Despacito's rocky helmet and fainted. Unfortunately this is where I lost 2 Pokémon. Kumi died to a Wobuffet that, idk what it did since I wasn't looking at the screen, but I'm assuming Kumi just couldn't take the counter, and fell to the same fate Sky did. Then, Itzy died too, by means I can't remember, but tbh it's me I probably did a dumb type matchup.

Either way I started making Itzy jokes to ease the pain of losing 2 Pokémon consecutively, like "maybe she just wasn't Icy, just on fire all along", and Ariel goes "perhaps she was just a wannabe... 💔".

By this point, my team consisted of Grenouille the Greninja, Zekrom the Charmeleon, Frilly the Helioptile, Despacito the Floette, Pea the Gloom, and Not Lucario the Diggersby (I renamed him from Not Riolu since it evolved).

Eventually, I get to Shalour and get the Lucario from Korrina, who I appropriately named Not DiggersB (Not Diggersby didn't fit so I improvised), and replace Not Lucario. I beat her in battle (without trying either I hadn't noticed I won until I was talking to Korrina again).

I gave up my route 12 encounter to get the Lapras the Pokémon breeder gifts you at the beginning of the route if you speak to him, and Mar named him Lettuce (because iceberg lettuce), and quickly grab myself a Tentacool from Azure Bay that I named Booze because it's water poison. It's when I'm grinding on route 12 for Ramos where I get my biggest casualty so far: Zekrom. Zekrom, the fully evolved Charizard, ready to take on the world, got killed by a Miltank that survived 2 hits from Zekrom and was able to land a bide on him.

Mar asked about Zekrom earlier because I got mocked for his death, and idc about it now but like, it hurt when it happened (yes I did threaten murder but my threats are empty, I'm not edgy I just swear a lot).

So I went and got rid of the Pokémon population of route 12 before *almost* going to Ramos. I noticed that I could go to route 13 before battling him, and it was there I could get a Slugma from the second (and final) use of the rock smash rule I had in place.

*over call*

Me: I'm gonna go take a risk and hope that I can get a Slugma on route 13 using rock smash.

Mar: Slipknot?

Me: *laughing* No, SLUGMA.

Mar: Oh, well you're naming it Slipknot now.

Needless to say, I got very lucky and got a Slugma on first encounter, and named it Slipknot. Unfortunately for me, however, catching Slipknot meant even more grinding for levels. Luckily, Courmarine is where you can get a lucky egg, which gives the holder more exp from battles, and with the use of Pokémon Amie, Slipknot caught up in no time (and evolved into Magcargo). Tbh the thing that took more time was bringing up Slipknot's affection on Pokémon Amie since you literally can't pet Slugma, which eliminates the main way to gain affection. The amount of times I played Tile Puzzle and Head It was quite a lot (never liked Berry Picker, stressful).

So I beat Ramos after pulling a risky move to protect Slipknot from Gogoat's ground move by bringing out Lapras and using ice beam to beat it. I bring the lights back to Lumiose city and go to beat Clemont, where the next big casualty happens - Not DiggersB. I had overestimated Not DiggersB's defense and lost him to an Ampharos that used thunder punch a bit too hard. This was a really bad death since I had a whole ground type in my box just sitting, waiting to be used, but nooooo, I had to used the fighting steel type with bone rush.

Not Lucario, in revenge for his counterpart, destroys Clemont's team, and we're off to Laverre. On route 14 I immediately catch a better ground type (Not a Fish the Stunfisk) and Not Lucario is relegated to the box again, the dirty HM slave. This means more grinding, passing the lucky egg over to Not a Fish, more PokéAmie, and more destruction of the Pokémon population (while also tryna level up both Pea and Despacito enough to get giga drain and moonblast respectively before evolving them into Florges and Bellossom).

To explain Pea and Despacito quickly (and Zappy too), they only evolve into their final forms when they are met with a sun stone (for Bellossom specifically and Heliolisk) and shiny stone (for Florges). I did have a sun stone but used it to evolve Helioptile int Heliolisk so I had to wait until I got to Anistar to get another sun stone, and I only got a shiny stone at the end of route 13, so I saved it until Despacito reached the right level for moonblast, then evolved it (thank you Mar for being the one who knew this info, I'm actual shit at Pokémon).

Anyway, I make it to Laverre, beat Valerie (and almost lose Pea that battle gave me a heart attack), beat up team flare in the factory, get master ball and big nugget, blah blah blah, get better clothes for Big T (which isn't much better male clothes in Pokémon is shit). I get a Foongus on route 15, consult Mar on a name because, once again, naming issues, and she names it Amanita for reasons I've honestly forgotten, and go over to Dendemille, where I redeem heart scales for better moves for Grenouille and Slipknot, and beat up more team flare.

Before I make my way over to Anistar though, I quickly go to route 16 to collect an obligatory Pumpkaboo (that I called Jack). I did (or tried to do in some cases) Pokémon Sword runs for my part of the fan project's E4 and on every file, I've caught a Pumpkaboo so it's tradition.

On route 17 I failed miserably at trying to catch a Delibird, which I wasn't upset about. I use the place to grind a bit more before I make it to Anistar. I grab the sun stone there to finally evolve Pea and just completely destroy Olympia with Grenouille.

So the game's plot "thickens" (aka Lysandre outright says he's the one in charge of team flare) so I do my protag thing, saving the world, when I have to deal with the most heartbreaking and stupid death ever.

Xerneas: *appears*

Me: Okay just master ball it.

Me: *accidentally picks quick ball*

Me: it might be okay it's the first turn anyway-

Xerneas, not expecting to battle so had moonblast ready for fun:👁👄👁  *kills Grenouille*

Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

This genuinely hurt me so much I wanted to cry, I was so close to getting Grenouille through it all and he dies to a misclick?! Luckily I got Xerneas in a master ball immediately afterwards. Since it counted as it was the only Pokémon I got in Geosenge, I aptly named it "YOU KILLER".

So I grind a bit more for Xerneas and make my way over to Snowbelle. On route 18 I got a Durant that I named Ditant because I couldn't spell, then got a Sliggoo on route 19 while grabbing sludge bomb for Pea so that she, along with Despacito, can be called the fairy killer.

Despacito the Dragon killer and Pea the Fairy killer honestly sounds so intimidating until you find out they're just a big flower patch and a weed, but they are scary, and can and will kill you without hesitation. I make it to Snowbelle and have to make my way to the Pokémon Village to grab Wulfric to be swept by a heavy metal band, and get myself a Trevenant I named Tree on route 20, and a Zoruark, that immediately replaced YOU KILLER in my party, from the village, and I named him Nuh. Nuh is basically the Muslim name for Noah, as in Noah's Ark Noah, so I did a grammatical joke based on that.

Nuh's Ark = the ark that belongs to Nuh

Nuh's Ark = Nuh is (Zoro)Ark

So I spend my time on route 21 accidentally killing the Ursaring I could've had and then ridding the waters of Lombré and Floatzel for Nuh using Pea. If someone had told me at the beginning of my nuzlocke that my star Pokémon would be a Bellossom, I would've laughed. After a while though, I felt ready. Pea, Despacito, Lettuce, Not a Fish, Slipknot, and Nuh (who I got a heart scale for to learn foul play) were all ready to go down Victory Road and beat the Pokémon League. On the way, I caught a Lickitung, my final Pokémon, that I named Balloon.

(I did have to leave victory road a few times because there's bits where you need to use strength, so I had to fetch Not Lucario because there was no way I was teaching any of my party a HM move this late in the game other than Lettuce learning surf and waterfall).

Going up Victory Road was a breeze (minus the multiple encounters in the caves), and I quickly made my way over to the Pokémon League. I went in, after healing my Pokémon, with an abundant amount of full restores to use freely (I had like P300k the money wasn't going anywhere).

I took on Siebold first, since he's the poetic guy and I wanted to show off Takehiko's abysmal fashion to him first. Needless to say, Pea beat him to a pulp (with Lettuce coming in clutch for his Gyrados by using thunderbolt). Siebold was by far the easiest E4 member.

Next was Wikstrom, whose Probopass had always worried me. It had sturdy, so every time Not a Fish tried to beat it, it'd just survive. Eventually, Wikstrom ran out of full restores, leading to it's untimely demise. Slipknot and Not a Fish cleared out the rest of his team easily.

I took on Malva next, who I legit didn't care about, and just had Lettuce spam surf until I beat her. It worked, of course, so that meant I only had one more battle to go: Drasna the dragon lady who, fun fact, is related to Iris, and is also therefore related to Leon and Hop!

I already knew Drasna would start with Dragalge, a danger to my dragon killer, so I sent out Not a Fish first just to get rid of it. I then sent Despacito out for her Altaria and Noivern, of which Noivern was actually able to land hits on Despacito, getting her in the yellow. Luckily for me, I had Pea learn Dazzling Gleam just in case I needed it, so I switched out Despacito for Pea when Druddigon came out, just to protect my big flower. Pea quickly handed Druddigon its ass as she beat it up without a hitch, and with that, I had finished the E4.

When I was checking if I needed to use my not so abundant amount of ethers and elixirs on my Pokémon, I was glad to find that I really only had to use it for Not a Fish's earthquake: I didn't have to use many moves against the E4, and earthquake was only down because of Wikstrom.

With my Pokémon healed up and ready, Despacito leading the party, I was ready to take on Champion Diantha. Her Hawlucha was up first, of which Despacito beat using moonblast in one fell swoop. She then went to beat up her Tyrantrum, who also fainted to a moonblast. She brought out Amourous next, aka what Itzy could've been, and Despacito used petal blizzard to beat it. The Amourous survived but didn't cause problems. I went to use petal blizzard but Diantha switched out for her Goodra, whose attack got boosted thanks to the grass type move.

Unfortunately for Diantha though, Goodra was a dragon type, so that thing fainted immediately afterwards thanks, once again, to moonblast. She brings back Amourous, who finally faints after a second bout of petal blizzard, and next up is her Gourgeist. It's at this point I finally let Despacito rest, bringing out my newly acquired Nuh, who comes out disguised as Slipknot. Nuh beats the Gourgeist in one move, meaning that Nuh's illusion is still up. Diantha brings out her final Pokémon, Gardevoir, and the battle is almost over.

I think the funniest part of the entire game for me was messing around with Nuh, because when Gardevoir used a psychic move: "It doesn't affect Slipknot..." Which is very funny considering it SHOULD affect Slipknot, it just doesn't affect Nuh, who's pretending to be Slipknot. Nuh takes the opportunity and uses foul play (as Slipknot, which also looks very peculiar) to take down Diantha's Gardevoir, and with that, I had beaten the champion. The nuzlocke was over...

Or was it?

Me: *getting fussy because the other 4 Sycamore pupils were getting credit for me single-handedly beating team flare*

Mar: NOONA THERE'S STILL A BATTLE LEFT, YOU NEED TO BATTLE AZ!

Me: oH

So the nuzlocke was *almost* over.

AZ was very very easy, the only issue I had was Lettuce not being up first to beat his Torkoal. His Sigilyph and Golurk were both very easy to beat, and nothing else really happened in the battle. With that battle over I had truly beaten my second attempt at a Pokémon X nuzlocke.

If you read this far, congratulations! You have read the equivalent of 75 tweets in (possibly) one sitting! Twitter kept capping me off every 25 tweets, so now I understand why Twitter au writers don't post abundantly. This was honestly so much fun, even though I did grieve over my dead Pokémon.

I wanna thank Mar for sticking with me the whole way, even though I was such a nuisance for asking every single time, without fail, what beats poison type Pokémon whenever I encountered one. When I said I'm shit at Pokémon, I wasn't lying: I'm Very Bad™ at the game.

I also wanna thank Bread and Ariel for just popping in during my run every now and again, even if all you wanted to do was mock me for Zekrom's death (which btw I don't get why you're still holding that to me? I'm more shocked you're not talking bout Grenouille lmao).

Would also like to thank my team, Pea the Bellossom, Despacito the Florges, Not a Fish the Stunfisk, Slipknot the Magcargo, Lettuce the Lapras, and Nuh the Zoroark (who, despite being a super new addition, pulled his weight very well). I wouldn't've won of not for y'all  (Idc that they're fictional and can't read my thanks, I love them okay???).

Anywho, thank you for reading this if you chose to!