#not my best work-so tired - 7 -" oh well!

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Survivor's Blood (Leon x Reader) - Chapter 7

Survivor’s Blood

Pairing: Leon x Reader

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 (you are here!)

Summary: After Raccoon City, Leon became the only Government agent with that kind of expertise. With relentless training, he was now a Special Agent - again, on his first day in the job. He just didn’t expect to live Raccoon City all over again… Maybe Leon was fated to always have the worst first-days-at-work ever.

Age Restriction: 18+. It’s horror, so expect a lot of graphic violence and blood dripping from this. I mean, VERY GRAPHICAL VIOLENCE. Nothing we haven’t seen on RE, but still. Yee been warned

TRIGGER WARNING: This whole fanfic is a trigger warning really

Author's Notes: Heeeeey, I know this is exactly what no one wanted, but it's what I've got. It's been sitting in my files for a while 'cause I wanted to have a couple of new chapters ready to post, but oh well. Blame this update on my mom - who got me explaining the whole history of Resident Evil and why it's so important to gaming along with its lore and she was "wow, that's basically the 2020 pandemic" and I was "exactly, now you get it". And she also kinda loves Chris for becoming boulder-punching-Chris and just suplexing Wesker out of existence. He's 10/10 her fave RE character so far.

Chapter 7

New Setosa State School, April 29th, 2001 – 22h31

“You’re late, Kennedy.”

It was the first time you were meeting the other Agents in charge of rescuing the residents of New Setosa.

It was quite a walk from the hospital to the school, but something kept everyone moving. Maybe it was all the undead in the way, making everyone keep a steady pace and a quiet step. Maybe it was Leon checking his watch almost every two minutes. Or maybe, it was the adrenaline running in your bodies, screaming inside every soul that they had to do their best to survive.

You didn’t hear a single thing on your way there. The houses, apartments, offices, stores… All quiet – except for the creatures groaning every now and then, noticing your group and trying to follow; too slow to be any kind of threat.

There was only one incident – and an incident that was expected by all of you, if you had to be honest to yourselves. In times of survival, the best side of humanity did show… But so did the worst.

You were quickly, and quietly, walking in the middle of the street – as per Leon orders: sidewalks were too close to establishments that could harbor undead creatures, silently waiting for a surprise attack. You still had the lead and he still preferred to remain on the back, since his odds of survival if he was grabbed by behind were a lot bigger than anyone else in the group.

The elderly lady was doing very well – being helped by Valerie, she could walk fast enough to keep up the pace – but the kid with the father were having a little trouble. The boy seemed to be weak, almost too tired to keep going, but his father was almost carrying him – and would carry his son if he needed to. The lab coat man kept fidgeting, sighing audibly every time you gave the group a couple of seconds to breathe – making him receive stern looks from Leon, who was more of a bleeding heart than you were.

It all happened too quick. The lab coat man, for some reason, insisted on being around the father and son and very close to you. There were a few cars up ahead, but neither of you thought it would be trouble: most cars were destroyed and their owners dead inside of them or roaming outside, undead.

You had no idea where the creature came from: in a split second, what once was a police officer jumped on the lab coat man, fiercely trying to bite his face off.

“Stay back!” You screamed to the other survivors, grabbing one of the creature’s arms and trying to fight it. Those things were strong – and, in all honesty, lab coat man wasn’t the best suited to fight one of them.

Valerie held the elderly woman and signaled the father and the kid to join them. Leon immediately ran towards all of you – but as soon as you managed to take a little weight off the lab coat man, he had the strength to handle the creature by himself.

“Take the ones who are already dying, you fucking shit!” The man threw the undead right into the teen, who was too weak to fight for himself. You gasped, trying to hold it back – but it seemed to slip right between your fingers.

Before the creature could bite the kid into pieces, Leon came through like a bulldozer – punching it right on the face, making it groan and stumble behind, as the teen fell on the floor and tried to crawl back to his father. The man immediately grabbed his son, protecting him with his own body, as Leon took a hunting knife from his holster and buried it under the creature’s chin – impaling its head, making it finally stop.

But the danger wasn’t over: another creature crept to the lab coat man, grabbing his foot and using him as a ladder to stand up and eat him alive.

“You… Damn! Leave me alone! Eat them!” The man struggled a little but was able to throw the creature in your direction – his intention of being around you and the invalid teen quite clear: if anything happened, he would rather have you dead than him.

The creature didn’t have time to reach you, because Leon’s kick on its chest reached it first. With a couple of dodges and some expertly placed knife attacks, he finally placed the killing blow by nailing the knife on its temples, right through its brain.

You couldn’t help but to stare wide eyed as Leon discarded the undead on the floor – who was once a living, breathing person, like you and him – and furiously walked towards the lab coat man. Gripping him by the sweaty shirt, Leon stamped the guy on the side of a destroyed, burning car – which was definitely too hot to the touch, and you could see it on the guy’s face as he winced the more Leon pushed him into the hot metal. Still holding the man’s shirt, Leon had his forearm across his chest, knife on standby in his other hand.

You definitely did not expect that from Leon… But it was a welcome thing, given the circumstances.

“What you think you’re doing, huh? You think you’re better than any of them? That your life is worth more?” Leon’s voice was low and his eyes were filled with something you still hadn’t seen that night – perhaps, that was the man who survived Raccoon City. Who became a Special Agent. “I don’t give a fuck how important you think you are or what your name is. We’re in this shit together, and we only gettin’ out if everyone sticks together. Everyone.” With those words, Leon made the man look right into his eyes – even if the guy couldn’t hold the stare longer than a couple of seconds. “Pieces of shit like you are always the first ones to go. I’m gonna make my best to make sure your sorry ass gets out of here, but if you keep acting like this, something is gonna make sure you won’t. I fucking seen that before.”

You kept quiet, side eyeing Leon as soon as he let the guy go and looked back at you – suddenly, his stare softened again and he sighed, rolling his eyes as if saying it was part of the job.

“Oh, I’m glad you put him in his place. Someone had to do that already.” You murmured back to him, making Leon scoff a slight, humorless laugh.

“You kinda already did back in the hospital.” Placing his knife back in the holster, Leon looked back at you. “If you need anything, call. I’ll be…”

“In the back, I know. Don’t worry.” You winked back, slightly waving your gun. “I can take care of things over here.”

That was the only serious incident. After that, father and son walked close behind you, followed by Valerie and the elderly lady and, on the back, the guy in the lab coat moping around, too scared to look back at Leon carrying the shotgun and giving you – and everyone else – cover.

You were late to the rendezvous at the State School… But all things considered, it was quite the miracle everyone got there in one piece.

“I know. But everyone is alive.” Leon marched towards the stern looking man as soon as the group was safe inside the entrance hall of the school. A few other agents holding rifles and wearing Special Ops gear wandered around – as well as some survivors of all ages and backgrounds. “Like I said they would be. No casualties.”

Rogers lifted his heavy eyebrows as he watched you and the group being welcomed by the few police officers who were brave enough to leave the NSPD and account for all the survivors left in the city. The man still had his arms crossed, but he had to recognize: what Leon just did was quite a feat.

“What about the one who helped us with the broadcast? Were you able to find each other?”

“Yeah. Y/n, right over there.” Leon pointed at you – and, as soon as you heard your name and turned around, he signaled you to come over. After exchanging a few words with Valerie, you regrouped with him. “Y/n, this is Commander Rogers, the man in charge of today’s operation.”

“You set up the broadcast and met Leon halfway through this city swarming with those creatures, no gun in hand, right?” The man asked, shaking your hand with a rather strong grip. You reciprocated in the same manner. “You have to be quite the fighter to do that.”

“Well, we do what we need to survive, sir.” You smiled slightly, taking that as a compliment.

“That we do. We’re leaving at 22h40.” And Rogers looked back at Leon, crossing his arms once more. “We’re escorting the people back to the NSPD and we’ll wait for the extraction at midnight.”

“Copy that, sir. I’ll help with the escort.”

You couldn’t help but to let out a sigh of relief – that nightmare would soon be over and you couldn’t wait to be in a safe place again.

*

“Hey, banana ice cream.” You heard Leon’s voice by your side, making you smile a little bit. You were taking some time to breathe by yourself in a corner of the school – still close to the survivors – while he talked with Rogers and the other agents. But, of course, Leon would check on you before you left for the NSPD. “How are you doing?”

“Better than expected, I suppose.” You sighed back, giving him some space to lean on the table you were leaning in. It probably belonged to one of the employees in charge of supervising the kids – a place now quiet and somber, that you had no wish to go any further inside. It was probably filled with corpses. “And you? Everything ok?”

“Guess we gonna ask that forever to each other tonight, huh?” He had to tease you, since that question became a staple between you two. You couldn’t hold back a small laugh. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’ve had worse.”

“Hmmm, I can imagine…” You murmured, having no idea how to bring up what you saw in the hospital – speaking to Valerie, she expressed her concerns about Leon having a panic attack; and even if you hadn’t known him for too long, it was something you could understand – to a certain level. “I’ve seen some pretty bad things, being a war correspondent. I mean, it’s part of the job, seeing the worst mankind has to offer… But I never thought I’d see and live through something like this.”

“Yeah, it’s fairly different from a warzone…” Leon sighed back, crossing his arms. “Both are pretty bad actually.” He risked a look at you – watching how your gaze was lost on one of the windows, looking out in the dead, quiet night. It all seemed so peaceful from that point of view. “Why do you do it?”

“What?” You snapped out of your thoughts, turning your eyes back to Leon.

“Bein’ a reporter at war. Why do you do it?” He patiently repeated the question – talking to you was the most calming thing he had that night. And, if he had you to talk to in Raccoon City, it would’ve probably been a little less harrowing of an experience. A little. “You voluntarily go to places where there’s nothing but butchering and blood. You could be doin’ anything else but this, you’re smart enough. So why this?”

“Why do you do what you do?”

That question made Leon furrow his eyebrows immediately, turning quiet for a moment.

“It’s not like I had much of a choice after Raccoon.” He answered quietly, still with that look of concern in his eyes. “I was recruited to be a Special Agent. You can’t turn down something like that.”

It was your turn to become silent. You always thought everyone who followed careers like his did it voluntarily, but there was Leon saying he didn’t have much of a choice. Be it because of his trauma, of his own will or being forced by the government to say yes because he knew too much about the Umbrella incident, you believed in his words.

“Would you have done something too different if you had had a choice?”

Once again, Leon looked back at you with that concern in his eyes. It was probably a question he never really got asked before – and probably never thought of; or avoided thinking of. But now, he had no escape and had to think about it.

“I dunno… Probably would still be a cop.” Leon turned his eyes to his feet, letting out a deep sigh. “Always wanted to help people. Ended up having to save my own skin right at the first day at work… And now, back at Raccoon again, first day as a Special Agent.”

“This is your first day on the job…?” You couldn’t believe his words, but the way Leon smiled and nodded made you trust in what he was saying. “That… Sucks. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, me too. I’m definitely not the guy you wanna have around on your first day at work.”

“It’s bound to be terrific if you’re around.” You teased him a little bit, alleviating some of the tension with a few laughs from both of you.

“But hey, I answered you and you didn’t answer me.” Leon nudged you with his elbow, still having his arms crossed, leaning on the table by your side while you two watched the concentration of agents, policemen and survivors. “You chose a different career, and ended up reporting directly from hell. Out of everything you could choose, why this?”

“Yeah, I know it sucks in theory… And in real life too, it’s not an easy thing and you lose a lot of faith in humanity…” You sighed, now crossing your arms and turning your gaze to an empty spot on the floor. “But… I guess… Not having the option of knowing the truth is worse than having it available. You can choose to remain oblivious and ignore the truth, but it’s still there, being reported to you – you have access to it, you can search for it and learn if you want to. You have the choice. And for you to have the choice, someone has to report it.” You shrugged after a while, sighing once again. It wasn’t much of a reason why, but it was the best you could say at the moment. “I guess, that’s why. Someone’s gotta do it.”

“Aren’t you afraid?”

“Oh, I’m terrified.” You looked back into his eyes, finding his expression of concern – a different kind now; the one Leon wore when he was worried about others. “First time I heard a gunshot close to me, my heart almost jumped out of my mouth. First time I saw a dead mangled body, I couldn’t sleep for weeks. But… You kinda get used to it. A lot of people get desensitized, and I’m probably going down that path too, but… I don’t know. It gets… Less worse with time, I guess.”

“Huh, less worse… I think I get what you mean…” Leon murmured back, now staring at the pattern on the floor as well. Both of you had your gazes lost in something else, while seeing vivid images from your memories. He could remember all the bodies he saw in Raccoon City, all the mutated experiments, all the dismembered people. Destruction everywhere, pieces of bodies everywhere, the streets reeking of blood and closed spaces smelling of entombed death. He had never seen things like that before – Leon was just a rookie cop, on his first job, thinking he would protect and serve; thrown into a warzone, with so much death, so much blood… He dreamt every night his whole body was drenched in it and he could never wash it off. “It becomes routine.”

“Yeah. Something like that…” You murmured back, shaking your head right after. “But I’ve never seen something like tonight. What scares me today is the lack of agency… These townspeople turn into animals, acting like animals, not out of free will – like people during war – but out of… Something that is turning them into these…”

Your words got caught at the tip of your tongue. You had already said that a thousand times that night, but for the first time you were having a level-headed conversation that didn’t involve fighting for survival. The words of your previous boss got in your head, chastising you for your choice of words, and, for a moment, you hesitated.

“C’mon, you can say it. Zombies.”

You and Leon shared a knowing look and couldn’t stop a quiet laugh between you both.

“Zombies.” You agreed right after, nodding slowly. “In a war, you see inhumane acts of cruelty, but you know you could never do that. You know you have morals and the people doing that have none. You know you could never get that low and must report their crimes. But today…?” You shook your head, as if to try to keep a thought away. “If one of those things get to me, I’ll turn into one of them. My mind will die, but my body will keep going, hunting like an animal, to kill and spread whatever the fuck this is. No agency. I’m no better, because my will doesn’t count. It’s not a choice. There’s no reasoning. If they bite me, if they kill me, I’m gone… And I’m one of them.”

“That’s not gonna happen.” Leon almost spoke above your last words, barely allowing you to finish – even so, you had to glance at him with a realistic look in your eyes. Few people had survived that night and, so far, you were lucky. But there was the possibility of your luck ending. You had just as much of a chance of dying to one of those things than anyone else in that room. “Hey. That’s not gonna happen. I’m gonna get you out of here. I promised you an ice cream, didn’t I?”

“That you did. You better keep that promise.” You bantered playfully in return, having a slight smile on your face. Even if Leon was saying that just for saying, you had to admit: it was efficient at calming you down and making you at least a little bit more positive about that night’s outcome. “For me and for you.”

Leon furrowed his brows for a moment, staring at you as if asking for an explanation.

“I don’t wanna leave this place alone. You’re my partner now, right…?” You risked a look at him, seeing how Leon already had a slight smile on his ever so serious lips, ready to quip back; but you had some more things to talk about. “At the hospital… I thought I lost you there for a moment.”

Leon’s eyes immediately turned somber, understanding what you were talking about. If he was going to be honest to himself, he thought he lost himself for a moment too. And that was definitely not good, given his current occupation and situation. It was his first mission after his unforgiving training… And after Raccoon City. No one ever expected the mission would be so similar to what happened to him years prior – and no one could know what kind of reaction Leon would have by being thrown in that sort of mess all over again.

With his training, he learned the best thing he could do was to keep going without thinking too much – but he never really learned what to do if his thoughts assaulted him forcefully, like it happened at the hospital.

“I’m just… Worried.” You tried, wanting to make sure he didn’t understand your words as you seeing him as a hinderance. That was the last thing that crossed your mind. “I’ve been through some pretty bad things too, you know…? And I’ve had some colleagues freeze mid-job because of… Unresolved issues.” You paused for some seconds, almost hearing the gears turning inside Leon’s head. “I… I don’t want that to happen to you.”

“What did you do…?” Leon’s question caught you off guard, making you stare at him with the same inquisitive eyes he turned at you before. “What did you do? To your colleagues who froze mid-job…?”

You flashed him a half-smile on your lips, immediately picking up the undertone in his voice – he wanted to know not only out of curiosity, but to understand where you stood in that matter. You could bet with almost entire certainty that Leon buried things inside himself because he didn’t want to look weak or to be a burden to people: his job was to be the hero, not to be the one cared about. What kind of hero needs support? What kind of hero had weaknesses?

You could almost hear his superiors saying he “couldn’t be a pussy” to survive his Special Agent training – and any kind of weakness, be it from feelings or trauma, would definitely be seen as “being a pussy”. You had seen that before.

“I carried them out of harm’s way and dragged them to our base. I’d never leave them behind.” You still had that smile on your lips, but your tone was soft and reassuring. Something in the way you spoke, made Leon’s shoulders lose a little tension and the expression in his face soften. “We’re human. Everyone breaks, one way or another. We just need people around us to lean on when our knees falter. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Nothing wrong with that…” Leon murmured more to himself than anything else, turning his gaze back to the spot on the floor you were once staring. He had many things to think about – but that was not the time nor the place to do so. “Did it ever happen to you?”

“Yeah, couple of times. Panic attacks suck.” You sighed, turning your gaze outside. It wasn’t something you were too comfortable talking about, but it was the very first time Leon heard it from someone else – and could share it. He needed it, and you wouldn’t deny that kind of help. You once stood in his shoes as well. “There are a few situations that trigger me still, though I kinda have it under control most of the time. It’s always good to have someone else around to help. If I don’t, though, I can only swallow it up and keep going – only to let all that tension go a few days later when I’m safe. Guess it happens to everyone with our kind of… Situation.”

“Huh. Guess so…” He nodded slowly, still going over your words. “I…” And Leon turned silent for a moment. You wouldn’t force him to say anything: if he wanted to stop talking, you would stay there in silence. He had to go at his own pace – but he had to move somewhere, or he would forever be stuck with that inside of him. “I still think about Raccoon sometimes. I still see some things… Some people… The blood. It’s still there, somewhere.” The way he spoke, it was as if Raccoon City was still alive. “It’s all happening. I don’t… Want to think about it. I don’t. But sometimes… It comes back. Even if I don’t want to.”

“Like a drop kick to your chest…?” You tried and he immediately turned his eyes towards you, but this time sporting a knowing smile on his lips. For the very first time, Leon was talking with someone who understood, even if you weren’t there in Raccoon City that night. He thought he would never meet someone who hadn’t lived through it who would understand. “And then you can’t breathe properly…”

“Your hands start shaking and you feel like you’re going to throw up.” He completed your thoughts, with you nodding enthusiastically in return. Something else stirred in his chest, though, something different. Like the joy of finally being seen by someone you admire in a crowd full of indifferent people – of not having to pretend all the time. “It fucking sucks.”

“Oh, it does. Been there.” As you agreed, you both let out quick laughs of complicity. You were also never so open about that before – but for the first time, sharing your experience might have a good outcome; and you were glad you took that leap of faith, with Leon there to catch you and not allow you to fall on the fields of self-consciousness from oversharing. “But we don’t have to go through that alone tonight.”

“Hmmm. Guess we don’t…” Leon shook his head, allowing himself to take a deep breath. For the first time in years, he had this weird – and alleviating – sensation that a weight had lifted from his shoulders. His grayish sea eyes turned back to you, now a little less worried than before. “Partner.”

“I’m gonna tell the President that’s my role now, he better accept me on the ranks.” Your serious answer made him immediately laugh – probably the first genuine laugh you ever heard from him. “Codename banana ice cream reporting for duty to work with codename choco chip, that’s how it’s gonna be.”

“Oh, he’s gonna accept it in no time.” Leon bantered back, enjoying how absurd it all sounded. A few jokes were always good to lift the spirits – but he wouldn’t lie: having you around would be a welcome thing, if that ever happened. Maybe you’d get recruited just like he was, after you escaped New Setosa. “But hey, at the hospital… You had something goin’ on your mind too, when we were leavin’. Whatever it is, you can tell me. You don’t need to go bananas on your own.”

“Oh, that was horrible…” You shook your head after hearing his dad joke, but the smile on your lips gave away it was exactly the kind of humor you needed that day. Leon smiled back a little bit, but still carried worry in his eyes. “Yeah, well… You shared your worries with me, it’s only fair that I do the same, right…?”

“Right.” Given how tentatively your question was, Leon immediately answered you in the firmest manner he could. He wouldn’t let you run away.

“Hmmm… Maybe you can help me out a bit with this…” You sighed, looking down at your feet. For some reason, you couldn’t stand looking into his eyes when thinking about the things that crossed your mind at the hospital – like you said before, in times of war, you knew your morals wouldn’t allow you to commit atrocities. But you were living times of survival – and, sometimes, morals had to be abandoned in order to save yourself. You hated that. “That hospital is really big. It’s for the whole city and it’s very well equipped. A lot of people stay there for days, weeks, or even months…” You took a deep breath, closing your eyes. “I doubt there are only a handful of survivors in that place. If we went in deeper, I bet we would find so many others… So many people that survived so far only to be entombed in that place of death and sickness to slowly perish. It’s horrible. I…” You opened your eyes again, finally looking back at him – with a contrary resolve of someone who has been told by a higher power they cannot do the right thing. “I wanted to go in, to help them. We were there, we were so close. As far as we know, we could’ve passed by so many people and not even realize it. I didn’t want to leave them behind, but… If we didn’t, we wouldn’t have saved the ones who are here with us now, right…? I don’t know, I…”

But you sighed again, looking back at the lost spot on the floor, shaking your head. You had already said a lot and there was nothing you could string coherently into words anymore – there were only a storm of feelings stirring in your heart and that you couldn’t give him. You could only try to explain.

Leon also lowered his head. He knew exactly what you were talking about. You two cared – and, during his training as a Special Agent, he would be scolded exactly because he “cared too much”. To someone in his line of work, caring too much was a weakness: you had to do what you were ordered to do – and what you could do. And that meant, sometimes, working out the odds and literally choosing who would live and who would die. Leon despised that, which made Rogers have a few doubts in his heart about the rookie: in Leon’s book, everyone survived. No sacrifices. No choices.

“You want to save everyone.” He finally finished your thought for you, saying the words you thought you would be too ridiculous when saying out loud. A ‘hero complex’ as most people would say – but he preferred to think of it as a survivor thing. “You have the chance to save yourself, you have the resources, you have the strength and the will. Why can’t you extend that to the people who need it? Sometimes, all they need is a helping hand to save their asses too.” He looked back at you and you could see not only his characteristic bleeding compassion, but also a tad of… Emptiness. “You can help. So why wouldn’t you? Who are you to choose who lives and who dies? Who are you to choose who deserves it or not…?”

You nodded in agreement while your heart lost weight inside your chest. People always used to say that was one of your weaknesses, how much you cared. But seeing Leon that night, watching him work and help so many people… You could barely call it a weakness.

“I had many times in my life that I only needed someone to give me a helping hand.” You shook your head, but agreed with every word he said. Maybe, that’s how he felt when you understood his problem – and now, it was your turn to be seen. “And I know how it feels like when no one helps. How harrowing. How desolating. It makes you want to give up everything – and I bet there are many people in that hospital thinking the same thing. I…” And you sighed, crossing your arms. “I don’t want to be indifferent. I don’t want to make that choice. The choice to close my eyes and ignore everyone else suffering around me just because I’m safe and comfortable. I want to go there where they are and bring them to safety with me… That’s what they deserve. That’s what everyone deserves.”

“Hmmm… I know the feeling…” Leon’s answer was a murmur, but it wasn’t a lie. He knew exactly how it felt – how disgusting it was to only save his own skin when he could try to save someone else too. He wasn’t better than anyone else – and, apparently, that was the same thought that haunted you when you were leaving the hospital that night. “It’s something you gotta learn to deal with… The guilt, it’ll always be there. At some point, the screams will turn quieter and stop, even if your heart feels heavy. And that’s why we have to know what we can do, what’s within our reach.” Leon looked at you, making you reciprocate his stare. Even if his eyes could be cold and empty, at that moment, they had his quiet empathy as well. “You said it yourself. We’re human. There’s only so much we can do. We have to understand those limitations and make sure we did the very best with all we had at the moment. That’s how I learned to deal with it.”

“Hmmm…” You ruminated those words for a couple of seconds, barely noticing a commotion forming in front of you. A new, very small, group of survivors had just arrived – and a man tried to talk with as many policemen and agents as possible, trying to find the one in charge. “Guess we are doomed to be haunted by our humanity, you and me…”

“Hmmm. You can put it that way too.” Leon considered, crossing his arms, but looking less pensive than you. “It’s a lot more poetic.”

“I do have a weak spot for poetry.” You answered in a matter-of-fact tone, after a sigh. Thinking too much about everything he said at that very moment wouldn’t be the best of things – you had too much to do and too much to survive. You needed to focus on that – you could spend time with philosophy later, in a chopper back to safety. “Oh, salty sea, so much of whose salt is Portugal tears!”**

Leon furrowed his brows, but had a slight smile on his lips. He had never heard that before – not that he was well versed in poems, but that one was completely unknown to him – and he would have asked you to go on your declamation, but the commotion was now fully formed. The man spoke loudly, being held by a couple of agents, trying to speak to anyone who would listen.

“You are going to get them all killed! Killed!” His words would’ve been considered furious if his eyes didn’t carry so much desperation. “Their blood will be in your hands! You have to do something!”

You and Leon glanced at each other, finally leaving your small pause. It was a miracle, even, that you had so much time to rest and talk – and a much needed one, if any of you had to say so. Now, it was time to go back to work.

“Sir… Please, sir. Calm down.” As Leon approached, he tried to get the man to stop fighting with the agents. They glanced at Leon as he quickly nodded. “I’ll talk to him. You can let him go.”

���What happened, sir?” You mirrored Leon’s way of speaking: it was probably the best way to get the man to stop fighting and talk to you. “You can explain to us.”

“Well, that’s already a lot better than those brutes! There’s no reasoning with the likes of you!” He pointed at Leon, fixing the pair of glasses on his face and trying to comb his hair back with his fingers.

“He’s… Different.” You only realized you were saying something mid-answer, to which you made yourself stop as soon as you noticed you’d have to say something about Leon. The man in question only looked back at you with a question in his eyes – which you decided to ignore. “He’s not a brute. Well, not only.” And it started going downhill quickly, with Leon crossing his arms and just watching it all unfold in front of him. You had better stop before you said something you would regret later. “He has a good heart. You can talk to us.”

But you couldn’t have stopped, could you? Leon had a shadow of a smile on his lips while you just decided to completely ignore him and pay attention to the man as if it was all on purpose and you weren’t feeling self-conscious for your attempt at calming the man enough so he would talk to both of you – and not just curse Leon and “his type”.

“They won’t listen.” The man huffed, resting his hands on his hips, shaking his head. “I’m a doctor at the hospital, one of the very few who survived. I came here with a couple other ones who managed to barricade inside a room with me until we heard the broadcast on Channel 8.” With those words, you and Leon exchanged a look that could only be defined by pride and excitement. To think your plan worked, that made all the horror you had already lived through that night worth it. “We were deeper into the hospital. That place… It’s…” The man shook his head once more, apparently holding back some tears. He took a deep breath and looked back at you with resolve in his eyes. “As we were trying to leave, we found a body, another doctor… A colleague, a friend… Pediatrician. He was slaughtered on the floor, but he managed to write a message on the wall with his own blood before dying… ‘There are children inside’. Those were the words.”

And those words fell between you like led – being accompanied by dead silence. Neither you nor Leon could say something at that moment: your suspicions were correct, and a lot worse than you had expected. So far, you could see only a few children with their parents – either one or two, but there weren’t many of them. It was very unlikely for a child to survive, but a group of them…? You never saw it coming.

“Did you see them? Where are they?” Leon’s questions came right after the initial shock. The man started shaking his head frantically.

“We tried to get to the pediatric wing, but it’s far into the hospital…” He sighed, fixing the glasses on his face once more. “This doctor, we searched his pockets. He had a note inside, here… Lemme find it…” The man searched all of his own pockets, only to find a note stained in blood and hand it over to you and Leon. “It tells a little more how they were able to save as many children as they could and lock themselves somewhere safe. They won’t be able to leave there on their own. They need help. They need a rescue team.”

Leon had the note in his hands, but you read it together – silently, somberly, hating yourselves for being right about having more survivors in the hospital.

To anyone reading this,

I’m Dr. Howard, from the Pediatric Wing at the Arklay Hill Hospital. With the virus spreading fast, me and Dr. Willows quarantined as many uninfected children as possible in the X-ray room. It has good protection and we grabbed some food and water along the way, before locking the door and barricading it. We have eight children with us – most of them sick or injured – but all of them are free from the virus that has spread through the hospital.

We hoped to be rescued, but so far, no one came. We are suspecting they have considered everyone in the hospital to be dead – but that is far from the truth. We need help – we need to save those children. Upon talking to Dr. Willows, we decided one of us should try to leave and find help.

I volunteered – Dr. Willows has hurt her ankle when we were quickly helping the children we could, so I’m the best choice. I will do my best to find help, to have them rescued. All our efforts won’t be in vain.

But… If I can’t. If I die before I can find someone, I hope this note gets in the hands of someone capable to help. I beg you: these are sweet, scared children, locked in a room with another doctor who is doing everything in her power to keep them alive. We have to help them. They cannot die there, not after… Everything we done. We have to try. I have to try.

Please. They are in the X-ray room, Pediatric Wing, Arklay Hill Hospital. I have attached a hospital map to this note, it’s the place circled in blue. I know it won’t be easy, but please… They are alive. Please, save them.

As a final note: we have been hearing loud steps outside the room. It has been difficult to get the children not to scream, they are very scared, but they learned to control their fear and stay quiet. It isn’t something like the people who die and come back to life affected by the virus – those are slow, usually dragging their feet and body, groaning or screaming like animals – these steps are different. They are heavier, faster, paced… Sentient. I cannot think of someone who would be able to survive and walk around those creatures so peacefully, so I can only think it's one of the… Other atrocities. It’s roaming the deeper areas of the hospital, and it eventually goes back to the Pediatric Wing. Whoever comes to the rescue, be warned. And be careful.

The man looked at you and Leon with expectation – his heavy breath and sweat almost blurring his glasses. As you finished reading the note, your gaze met Leon’s grayish sea eyes.

“We cannot leave them.”

Something inside Leon knew you would say those words – and at the same time he had a surge of pride when seeing your eyes filled with certainty as you spoke, he also had dread stirring in his stomach; for he knew quite well you wouldn’t let him go alone.

“We won’t.”

And you almost smiled back as Leon’s answer had as much conviction to its words as yours.

You both just had to go through Commander Rogers first.

**Portuguese Sea, Fernando Pessoa

[holocene-sims]

simblr new years resolutions 2024!

thank you @stargazer-sims so much for tagging me!! ❤️✨🌟

not sure who has done this one yet but i'll tag 💌 @seyvia @simmersofia @mangosimoothie @minty-plumbob @queeniecook @dandylion240 @mmmatchasims @thebramblewood @aheathen-conceivably @nectar-cellar @igglemouse & anyone who sees this and wants to do it!

honestly, i have never made a new years resolution in my life, so this is a fun exercise to try out for once!

what's your resolution for your simblr?

this is VERYYYYY ambitious but i want to fully complete the core "everything the stars promised" and move on to doing side content and MOST IMPORTANTLY the more loosey goosey fun epilogue :)

april 15th of this year will mark the second anniversary of the story! i've done so much and yet at the same time, so little in the grand scheme of the plot i have in mind. i randomly checked today to see how many pages on my blog the story takes up and we're at 31 pages! so, uh, about 15 pages a year - not sure if that's good progress or not but oh well! we are getting close to the extra exciting parts of the story, and i would love to finish it all up this year, you know? finish on a nice round even anniversary number and with a bunch of plot point bangers lolol

but we'll see! it's possible, maybe, since i'm graduating college this semester and will have more free time for a while, at least i as figure out the work situation and probably even while working whenever i do get a job since nightly homework will no longer exist LMAO, but even if it's not possible, i am definitely promising myself to work harder on the story! i really do love this thing despite it all and i'm proud of it, and i want to see how much i can keep improving it so that the ending is truly the best part <3

what do you want from the sims franchise?

a sale on kits lmfaoooo!!! (which will never happen) i have exactly 5 dollars left over from an old gift card someone gave me for ea app when it was still origin. it's exactly enough for a kit except that sales tax adds on 7 cents and the gift card leftovers don't cover that.

yeahhhh...i'm neither charging 7 cents for sales tax nor 5 bucks for a second kit to my credit card. no, ma'am. i want that shit for FREE

any other new years resolutions?

don't become incredibly depressed by the shock of leaving the school system after almost 23 years of life and the horrors of figuring out the whole...life and career...thing

lol this resolution will be broken

so, how about an achievable one? read more books and write more actual prose, whether for my sims story or for something else. i've been so burnt out from academia that it's all stopped being fun. like even my sims story has been such a drag to create because i just have zero desire to write, to work on the outline, or find inspiration.

and that really sucks. writing and reading have been a huge part of my life for so long and they mean a lot to me, but right now they do feel exhausting. i'm tired of looking at a word document and wanting to bash my head into the keyboard because it reminds me of writing project proposals and boring shit instead of good fiction.

but i'm hoping the freedom from academia will spark joy in my literary hobbies again, and i'm going to try and bring back my love for them myself :) not sure how but aside from finding a way to work on the sims story more, i'm thinking maybe i'll commit to trying out more short-form writing prompts.

[casmybelovedass]

I hate how New Who's problem is fundamentally the writing, cuz then people can just decide to ignore it and blame the actors to win the best doctor war.

Chris had fantastic writing g for a test season, and he was a great Doctor. He really embodied the whimsical of it all while still showing the darkness of an ancient being who had lost it all and was ready to make it rain Hell. Unfortunately he only lasted one season for us to enjoy, but canonically he'd had a century of being himself.

He's skippable.

David had some BRILLIAN writing and some really fucking MEH writing, but he did portrait the figure of someone trying so hard to run from their past while still being haunted by it in a poisonous way. BUT he was also trying to paint this image of himself as dashing merry-go-lucky but tragic hero, which inevitably brought him to his downfall. Water of Mars, while being a kinda MEH episode, contains the most important lesson of them all for him. He is not a human, nor a God, and he was trying to be both at the same time. And he is especially tragic because in canon he only got to live about 6-7 years. Fuck.

He's a crybaby.

Matt. Was. It. He WAS whimsical itself in that "I am clearly not a human and I do not care in the slightest 😀" way. WHILE being the one to actually almost succeed in leaving everything behind. The man who forgets. Fucking beautiful. BUT fucking Moffat had to go and create all these beautiful and interesting storylines to just... kinda fuck them up. Sometimes there really is a feeling of missed closure that makes me visibly shake. Oh well. But for real, I'm a hardcore 10girl (gn) and even I say that Matt's Doctor was the PERFECT combination of friendly and scary. 11/10

He's not Tennant.

PETER. WAS. IT. I will never rest until he gets recognised as one of the fucking best doctors. He was done. SO fucking done with it all. And while 9 was anaesthetised, 10 was PTSD-ed, and 11 was TIRED��️, 12 is 💯 done. Him finally getting back to Gallifrey only to fuck off in his childhood shed as people keep trying to talk to him? His fucking look when Rassilon interrupts him from eating his soup? AND THEN STRAIGHT UP LEAVING?!?!! Iconic. He is done playing young Prince Charming. He is Done trying to be human. He is letting all his years hit him like a truck and being incredibly autistic about it. SO fucking real. BUT his writing was shit. Same thing happened with Matt, he was given shit material to work with but CONSTANTLY like I can count on almost two hands the number of episodes I for real FOR REAL enjoyed. And unfortunately most of them would be because Missy or River were there. That was a mastodontical fucking loss. Fuck.

He's old and tasteless.

And Jodie. Poor fucking Jodie. She got caught in the Chibnall hurricane and suffered massively for it. The writing? Shit. The storylines? Shit. Motives? Shit. Characterisation? Sometimes really fucking shitty. AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE TIMELESS CHILD BULLSHIT my god help me lord I am going to be sick. She did an amazing job being 🦄The Doctor🧚‍♂️, BUT her writing for the Oncoming Storm was so shit she couldn't do anything with it. They made her a tasteless Tennant and then blamed her for it. They really treated her as the "Yeah you got your female Doctor now shut up" Doctor, and gave her nothing else to be remembered for, unless you count the having the most fucking absurd writing Doctor. And to make her leave after having broadcasted to the moon and back that David was reprising the role, and that a non-british actor of colour was coming next, really took her moment away. Fucking awful.

She's a woman and tasteless.

Shameful.

[hebimoonlightwrites]

HI HI!

If you don't mind could you write some headcanons about how will be having a marriage life with Yuto, Yohei and Ichiro? ( What can i say i'm a sucker for this clingey things and a simp for them =^=)

I hope you have a great day <3

Writer's corner: Hey, sweetheart! Of course I can do it! I'm so sorry for let you wait for so long, actually, since you requested me some weeks ago! Hope you don't mind I took some more time to answer your request!♥ Have a great day, you too, dear, and don't forget to let me know if there's something you want me to fix or change!♥ Enjoy~

mc's pronouns: THEY/THEM

Warnings: Fluff/ sfw

⭐𝐘𝐮𝐭𝐨, 𝐘𝐨𝐡𝐞𝐢, 𝐈𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨⭐ 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

⭐We all know about Yuto's secret so well!

⭐As a married man he would kinda struggle with keeping his other self under control, in my opinion

⭐As his actual self, Yuto would be the best husband ever!

⭐He would care about his s/o a lot, always checking if they're doing fine and taking care of them

⭐I can even see him cooking with them or helping them whenever they seem to need help!

⭐Plus I can picture him hanging out with them and buying them their favourite snacks!

⭐Just like we've seen him buying ice-cream, he wouldn't mind buying something to his s/o as well

⭐I'm 100% sure he would be that kind of husband holding his s/o's hand while walking around the streets

⭐Or that kind of man clumsily moving the chair in a restaurant to make mc sit down

⭐As his normal self, Yuto would be so adorable and clumsy, especially during the first days as a married man!

⭐He has always seemed a man in need of affection.. oh well.. to me, at least

⭐So I can see him also lying on the couch, hugging his s/o while maybe watching a movie together

⭐They could also watch some travel TV shows, since they're Yuto's favourite!

⭐Maybe while planning their next vacation, why not?

⭐"Wow.. uhm.. it looks really.. hot there, love.. Y-you sure you want to visit it next summer..?"

⭐Yuto would be so adorable while falling asleep between mc's arms

⭐They would be there cuddling and caressing his hair while he's sleeping peacefully, his cheeks blushed.

⭐In short I truly believe they would be a cute couple

⭐Even when his other self would take control, I'm sure Yuto wouldn't hurt mc

⭐He wouldn't make them feel pain, but... would be more possessive and jealous, especially around other people

⭐While being his usual self Yuto would act cute and adorable, caring and protective towards mc..

⭐While being his other self, on the other hand, Yuto would act possessive and jealous..

⭐He would stare at all the people who look at mc with a serious and piercing glance, as to say: "Whatcha' looking at?! They are mine!!"

⭐Other than that, by the way, I don't think he would hurt mc, but hurt whoever tries to harm mc!

⭐But, if I can tell, I think Yuto would make mc dream in bed-- (sorry, not sorry)

⭐"Huh..? Why are you crying?... L-Love.. Who made you cry..? Just tell me.. They will get what they deserve for causing troubles to you too...!! I promise..!"

⭐Yohei is always caring and such a father to Ryu and Shiki

⭐It's said by his routine that he takes care of our sweet Shiki and Ryu, cooking for them or preparing Shiki's lunch for school!

⭐So I can tell for sure that he'd be a great husband

⭐and even a good father in the future!

⭐Maybe the worst part of being his partner would be the fact that he's always busy with his job at Bar 4/7

⭐(like coming back home very late in the morning after a sleepless night)

⭐And when he's free, he sleeps because of tireness

⭐So I don't know how much of an intimacy there would be between him and his sweet s/o

⭐Maybe they wouldn't spend much time together in the first place because of that!

⭐Perhaps his s/o would also spend their time in Bar 4/7 with him!

⭐I don't know if they would work with him, but if so, I bet Yohei would team up with them

⭐They both would be the best couple, always doing their best at work together

⭐Mc would be also considered as a parent-figure by Shiki and Ryu

⭐While Yohei would be such a father figure, cooking for Ryu and Shiki

⭐Mc would be a parent for them too, maybe listening to them or spending time playing pretending to be a cat with Ryu and his cat!

⭐I can totally see mc listening to Shiki's vents or playing around with Ryu!

⭐And Yohei would look at them and smile blushing, while smoking

⭐I can even picture mc caring for him, especially since he's easy to lose his temper while drinking

⭐So I cannot hide the fact that I headcanon mc telling him: "Yohei, please.. be careful and do not exagerate with drinking.."

⭐And Yohei would sigh but in deep he would be touched by mc's cuteness

⭐Yohei is also a man of faith.. he changed after his time with Yakuza

⭐And somehow I cannot hide the fact that I headcanon him being clingy as well

⭐He wouldn't mind show his affection to mc, even in public, kissing their lips

⭐Or more romantically, kissing their forehead as to prove that he really cares about their well-being

⭐He would play piano for them..

⭐Like.. literally- Imagine them both sitting in front of a piano..

⭐- maybe mc doesn't even know how to play a piano-

⭐so Yohei's hands would rest on theirs, while guiding them through the piano keys.

⭐"You say you don't know how to play a piano.. but look at your hands, love!.. hehe... you're adorable.."

⭐As I said many times already in this blog, Ichiro would be the best husband ever!

⭐Like.. I really challenge you all to find another character from Hypmic who would be better than Ichiro!

⭐We're talking about a young man who literally stopped his own life in order to completely support and help his younger brothers!

⭐He's able to maintain economically not only his own needs, but also his brothers' and even their apartment!

⭐I mean... he's A CHAD---

⭐And he would keep caring for his brothers even after getting married!

⭐I mean.. Especially after getting married!

⭐So s/o has to accept the fact that their house would constantly host Jiro and Saburo!

⭐And as Yohei and his s/o would be "parents" to Ryu and Shiki..

⭐...the same would happen to Ichiro and his s/o with his brothers!

⭐S/o would have not only a caring and sweet husband who would also be there each time they need to be listened or to be comforted

⭐But also a selfishless man who would totally respect mc's time and needs of affection!

⭐Like, if mc doesn't like PDA, then he won't force them to PDA!

⭐Otherwise, he would be clingy and constantly hugging them, showing how much he supports and loves them

⭐I also can picture them both laying on the couch and watching some animes

⭐Maybe they would read some mangas or light novels together as well!

⭐Or they can adorably listening to music, sharing earphones!

⭐In short, they would look like those cute couples in horror movies (the ones who got killed first- oof xD sorry-)

⭐Also I headcanon Ichiro being the one cooking most of the times

⭐He'd cook with his s/o, it's true, but...

⭐ I cannot hide the fact that in my opinion he would keep an eye on them only to be sure that they won't get hurt!

⭐And if s/o didn't know how to cook and got hurt, then Ichiro would rush and grab some ice to put it on their hand:

⭐"Haha.. I told you to be careful with the pot, honey... You're clumsy, aren't you?... hehe- Are you okay now..? Keep this bag of ice on your hand.. I'll take care of the rest, okay?"

©hebimoonlightwrites_tumblr Please, do not copy my contents nor repost it without my permission.

[usopp-writes]

Ace's first Christmas as a Whitebeard Pirate

Decorating the ship

December 2nd

Body aching from last day's cleaning, Ace got into the mess hall and blinked a few times. Izo was already there, the man usually slept until 8 am and Ace could have sworn it was just 7 am. Then he spotted the breakfast buffet and it had some sweet cinnamon buns and other pastries alongside the usual buffet. What was this about?

"Ah good morning Ace. Slept well?" Izo smiled and gestured Ace to sit with him, after the freckled man had grabbed his breakfast plate.

"I had a good night's sleep and you?" Ace asked, as he sat down and started eating, as he was really hungry. He'd been so tired the previous day to actually eat enough and he was still holding back on his portions. Gotta make sure there were enough food for everyone and it wasn't like he was starving.

"As usual around this year I slept well after the deep clean. I have to have enough energy for today's work, as it takes a lot of me. I'm in charge after all, so I have to coordinate everything."

Blinking, Ace wondered what Izo meant by this.

"It's December 2nd and after our deep cleaning, it's time to decorate the ship, so we can get into the mood, you know. For Christmas?" Izo raised his brows and chuckled when realization hit the freckled man. Ace had not once thought about Christmas. So the cleaning was due to that time of the year.

"Oh. Well, I'll do my best then. Do we decorate the same area we cleaned?" "Yes that's the main plan and if you're done, you can help others, if you like. Since both you and ... was it Skull? ... are new, you'll get help from Matt." Matt was from the second division and had been with the crew for decades. He knew just how Izo liked the ship decorated and was a big help for Ace and Skull. Both having no real clue to how many of the decoration in the box even should hang or be placed. In the end, Ace was very pleased and he liked how festive it was. Slowly he was looking forward to Christmas and learn about the traditions of his new family.

<<Prev

Next>>

[training-trio-irl]

About the fusions!

I’ve been thinking about the fusions I made, and because I can’t help myself, I compiled some random info about them I’ve come up with

Now since I’m just doing this for fun, if anyone has any suggestions, ideas, anything you would want to add to these characters, feel free to leave a comment or send an ask my way!

-Facts below the cut-

Makimaru Nikawa

Pronouns: she/they

Height: 5’ 7”

DOB: February 12th

Talent: Ultimate Teacher/Gang Leader

Background: 

Lived in an orphanage before running away at the age of 9, got taken in by a local gang (the Cult Carnations). Slowly rose in its ranks and eventually became its leader

Is actually the gangs co-leader, but is believed to be the leader as it’s real boss works from the shadows in anonymity 

Became known as the Ultimate teacher after a teacher’s assistant and helping classes of delinquents get fantastic grades (some of those delinquents being in her gang)

Personality:

Serious and generally rational

Prefers to think logically rather than emotionally, except when teaching classes where she can go either way

Acts very friendly towards their students, but can internally get quite fed up with their antics

Other Characteristics: 

Always armed in someway (steel-toed boots, bladed chain, brass knuckles, etc.)

Very serious about school and gang spirit

Heart rate problems (arrhythmia)

Relationships: 

She befriended Kagito initially out of sheer curiosity regarding his behavior and abilities, but ended up becoming quite close with him. (still wouldn’t hesitate to incapacitate him if he tried anything dangerous)

Hypothetical Quotes: 

Don’t you want to live?” -> said whenever someone is going to do something reckless/stupid

Kagito Komota

Pronouns: he/him

Height: 6’ 0”

DOB: April 20th

Talent: Ultimate Horoscope Author

Background: 

Has lived with his grandparents ever since his parents died in a plane crash

Got into astrology as something to engage in that would help distract him from the world

Started writing horoscopes for fun and shared them with his classmates in the hopes to connect with them. They initially teased him for it, but they changed their tune after his predictions started becoming eerily true. This only made people sort of scared of him

Personality:

Nihilist.

Off putting disposition.

Tries to be kind, but his honesty with his nihilistic beliefs tends to drive people away

Self-deprecating, but is working on ways to uplift others (although he could complement and encourage ultimates 24/7)

Other Characteristics:

Reveres space

Always tired looking despite having a normal sleep schedule

Prone to lung illnesses

He tries to cultivate houseplants, but they tend to wilt pretty quickly

Relationships: 

Somehow managed to become friends with Makimaru, which makes him very happy

Hypothetical Quotes: 

“Compared to the vastness of the universe, humanity is inconsequential and overall purposeless. I wish it wasn’t that way, but.. oh well….” —> Believes that humans are their existence are meaningless in the grand scheme of things. Ultimates, however, are an odd exception to this

Korehiru Shinzumi

Pronouns: they/them

Height: 5’ 9”

DOB: June 14th

Talent: Ultimate Paranormal Photographer

Background: 

Took up photography after their older sister, who was a professional photographer, passed away suddenly (they had a very normal, healthy sibling relationship I promise /gen)

They had been into the occult ever since they were little, so they ended up incorporating both of their interests into one

Personality:

Headstrong but compassionate.

Always does their best to respect others, especially the dead.

Takes their photography very seriously; refuses to doctor or photoshop any of their photos and demeans any other paranormal photographers that do

Enjoys rambling about the supernatural to whoever is willing to listen

Other Characteristics:

Travels all over the world to any supposedly haunted location they can find

Is willing to go into any environment or building, however hazardous, if it means they can capture some specters

Started wearing a mask after venturing into some unsanitary environments and eventually just got used to it. Wears it all the time (a comfort item of sorts)

Favorite type of haunted location: abandoned war zone trenches

Always comes out of each successful session with at least one photo that features something undeniably supernatural. If they don’t, then they are convinced the location isn’t really haunted and will complain about it wherever they can (usually on their blog)

Gets hired often by ghost hunting shows

Relationships: 

acquaintances with Makimaru

Ironically, Kagito, one of the spookiest guy at HPA, is terrified of them

Hypothetical Quotes: 

“One of the greatest mysteries of mankind is what comes after death, and unlike my peers, I plan on answering that question myself! How? Well through my photography of course! Trust me, one glance at the supernatural phenomenon in my shots and you’ll be convinced that I’m onto something. Keheheh- wha- where are you going?! Don’t just leave me in the dust, jeez!”

“I want to understand what exactly the afterlife is all about, truly, but… I don’t know. The fascinating mystery of it all, the allure of the unknown, its almost.. beautiful? No no that’s not the right word! Bah, whatever! You’ll hear about it more succinctly in my final essay anyway.”

[madbalalaika]

Get to know you - tag game

*GASP* I'm honoured, @an-excellent-choice, thank you for the tag :з

✨ Last song you listened to:

THE WHOLE ALBUM IS GOOD GO LISTEN TO IT

(i've been mentioning it every chance i get ever since i first listened to it like 7 years ago, it's just too good :"D)

Edit: fun fact, I kinda had a cool BG3 idea with this song that I'm not sure if I can pull off. I know I do, I think I do, I hope I do~~~

✨ Favourite colour: as an artist, because I stare at colours all the time, there's really too many that I absolutely adore. It's impossible to tell which ones I like best, though what I can say is what's my favourite combination: it's the one on the album cover of this song ⬆

Cold greyish brown or brownish dark grey/slighly dull light blue + very bright light blue/turquoise.

✨ Currently watching: One Piece. Last summer, I suggested my family and I watch it together, and we're still going. Currently on the post-Marineford arc!

✨ Favorite flavour:

Oof, the flavour that a cup of almond hot chocolate has. Also popcorn? I once had a period of only drinking lattes with Monin popcorn syrup, and let me tell you it was GODLY

✨ Current obsession: BG3, no doubt

✨ Last thing I googled:

Vegan nutella :"D I bought this gluten-free dairy-free nutella-ish paste that was... let's say... edible. Bland kinda, and just sweet. So I went out to search for some other brands, and found lots of cool recipes instead. This one, judging by the ingredients, by far seems the most delicious. Too bad I don't have a food processor :")

✨ Favourite season:

Spring/autumn. Gods, anything but hot summer, really, but those 2 are the most ideal.

✨ Skill I’d like to learn:

Some foreign languages that I've already learned some of before, and would just like to reach at least a passable level in: like Chinese, Japanese, Korean, German, and Welsh. I'm really out of practice with those.

Also some ADHD learning/working techniques that would actually work :"), as not being able to keep some sort of routine is the sole reason I've not yet gotten good at those languages and haven't started on different big projects I have only in mind for now.

Maybe I need to buy a clicky fidget toy or something. Oh well, at least I have a clicky keyboard, so that's nice :3

✨ Best Advice:

And I guess this is for the miserable-from-childhood folks like me. REST IS VERY GOOD, PEOPLE. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise, not even yourself. The circuits of a computer that has been overworked and overheated because it's never been allowed to cool off will eventually burn out from all the heat damage they endured, and it will shut the whole machine down.

What rest means for you, you'll have find out for yourself.

I know, for some us (me included), it's nearly impossible not to feel guilty for enjoying the things in life that would otherwise bring us happiness, but if there's one thing I've learned from the past 8-9 years of constant unbearable stress from guilt and self-hatred (and many external factors, yes), as well as many medical diagnoses later, is that your physical body will not only not say thank you for that, but eventually it will actively start dying.

Same goes vice versa: untreated health issues will lead to many mental health problems (example: I've been gluten-intolerant for quite a while and didn't learn that until a year and a half ago, and this whole time, the inflammation in the body was giving my nervous system so much anxiety and depression that I couldn't cope with it anymore), so the moral is

Yes, take care of your body, or at least whenever you have the capacity to and allow yourself to rest when you feel like you're tired, but also enjoy the things that make you happy, be it a delicious dessert, or a good book, or a tv show, or spending time with friends if you have them, whatever. You have all the right to do so because you matter, okay? Your well-being and good health matters, your happiness matters, everything about you matters, and not a single shitbag can change that. If you feel like no one cares for you, know that at least I do!

Also tagging my mutuals, @arczism, @noblestalk, @okthisway, @wrathe, @teilzeiteinhorn ❤

[grunge-philosopher]

welp, I'm so so sorry for being away for so long. Lately I've been studying and working like 24/7 and I don't have time to do almost anything but that. Even when I'm writing this, I'm at my Ethics class lol

But, oh well, to make at least this update something valuable, I'll say this: working at the bar while studying is hard, SO FUCKING HARD! But it has helped me a lot with a sense of responsability, and it makes me think about the whole opportunities I've got to make my dreams come true.

Well... yes, this is only to post that I'm coming back and I'll try my best to be with y'all these few weeks I have left for this semester.

Here another video of me at the bar, tired af but loving what I do.

[loganinjapan]

Day 1: ACTIVITIES

Day one. Was not sure what to expect, still not sure if I survived. Asakusa: The Senso-ji Temple was a lot of fun! Shops and shops and shops lined the street heading up to the temple. I ended up getting an apple pie fritter, melon pan, strawberry daifuku and yakisoba. Then I did the some of the temple activites - I cleansed my hands in the fountain, rubbed smoke on myself to heal (back pain should be gone if it worked), and gave some coins to pray at the main fountain. Very fun experience and a good start to the day. Photos to come at some point. Lunch: You'll see a photo of the dish on my blog at some point. I went to Brisk Stand, a place revered by Japan Eat as having the best burger in Japan. After getting my heart rate going by waiting in line and worrying I was going to be late to get back to the group, I was seated and ordered a double cheeseburger and fries. The pace picked up and my food was served. The fries were spectacular. The cheese and cooked onions did their job. The patty... nope. Lots of cartilage and just was a flop. It's a shame because I had this place high up on the excitement chart. 5/10 for those keeping track of my restaurants. Fukugawa Edo Museum: I'll keep this brief as this stop was a bit of a small museum and I mostly sat/recharged. It was cool seeing a 1-to-1 model of old Edo (Tokyo before it was "Tokyo") and learning about how people lived back then. The architecture was cool and a fake cat on the roof meowed every 5 minutes. Pokemon Center: Simple enough. Dinner: The original plan was to get revolving sushi at Sushiro, however things were running ahead of schedule so I pulled the trigger on going to Yuragi. Yuragi is known for its white katsu curry. I get there and nope! Closed. Stranded in the Takadanobaba neighborhood of Shinjuku City, I made a judgement call and headed to Tonkatsu Hinata. To keep it short, this was an unbelievable meal. The tonkatsu was super tender, fried to perfection. The sides added some nice substance and contrast. This not only gets a 10, but it's the best thing I've had so far. After: I decided to head back to the hotel after trying and failing to play at a Pachinko Parlor. I didn't fail because I was underage, it was because I didn't know how to work the machine. Oh well. 1000 Yen that I won't get back. To be fair, 1000 Yen is only about ~$7 USD. Anyways, now I'm at my hotel. I'm tired.

[autumnalwalker]

Incorrect Quotes Tag Game: Ships Edition (Round 2)

Thank you for the tag, @kahvilahuhut. I'm amused that this one came back to me in only two steps of tag transfer.

Rules: use this generator to make some incorrect ship-related quotes.

Unfortunately, I'm out of canon ships after last time. So instead we get an extra layer of incorrectness as I pull from the non-canon alternate timeline where Eris and Lacuna avoided ever learning about the existence of the supernatural, wound up meeting anyway, and became a couple instead of (or perhaps in addition to) best friends. Notably, the canon versions of Eris and Lacuna would be just about as put off to find that there's a version of them that's a couple as this version would be to find out about a timeline where they're not.

(Incorrect quotes under "Keep reading" line for swearing and lewd humor.)

Lacuna: I'm trash. Eris: As someone who's environmentally conscious, it's my duty to pick you up. Does 7 work for you? Lacuna: Lacuna: You smooth motherfucker. Lacuna: And yes it does.

Lacuna: So you like cats? Eris: Yeah. Lacuna: *tries to impress her by slowly pushing a glass off the table*

Eris: Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Lacuna! Lacuna: You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.

Lacuna: What are you in the mood for? Eris: World domination. Lacuna: That's a bit ambitious. Eris: You are my world. Lacuna: Aww... Eris: Lacuna: Eris: Lacuna: OH.

Lacuna: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt. Eris: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

Lacuna: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine. Eris: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again. Lacuna: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns?? Eris: Is it working?

Eris: As top in this relationship, I think we should- Lacuna: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.

Eris: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us. Lacuna: If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.

Okay, I lied, I found a couple I hadn't seen before that fit Sullivan and Carnette:

Carnette: We’re getting married, bitches! Sullivan: And we're about to make it everybody else's problem.

Carnette: BE A BETTER PERSON! Sullivan: WHY?! Carnette: BECAUSE SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE MORALS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, AND IT SURE AS FUCK AIN'T GONNA BE ME, SWEETHEART!

[monkiesimp]

Hey Hey! Could I request Marriage Headcanons for Macaque, Wukong, and Azure Lion?? You could add any characters to this if you'd like to as well! <3

THAT'S SO SWEET, YES. I tried my best so 😭 I'm sorry if I suck at this

Wukong:

- Being married with Wukong and living with him in the Flower Fruit Mountain is very nice and peaceful

- Mostly it's just the two of you, if he married you of course he'd want you to stay near him as much as possible!

- Expect cuddles all day, every day 24/7 because once he hugs you he won't ever let go.

- He never gets tired of cuddling you even if you're married and still craves for affection, he just loves it. Can you blame him? It feels so warm and comfy.

- Besides mostly being alone with Wukong, Mk does visit to train but as soon as he's done Wukong would immediately go over to you to see what you're up to.

- You and Mk get along pretty well, if he's injured you'd treat his injuries. You see him like your own son, sort of, but you really do love him! He's a good kid.

- You also bond with the monkeys on this island and they seem to like you, the monkeys even gave you a flower crown. They probably think you're their queen. Oh, well, you technically are their queen by now since you married The Monkey King.

- Seeing you bond with monkey's is the cutest thing Wukong ever saw, and seeing it every time makes him love you even more.

- Though you love being in Flower Fruit Mountain, you don't like staying there for all eternity and Wukong does take you somewhere else whenever you wish to.

- He always picks the best places to go to like 😩👌

- He just knows places very well, and every time he brings you to somewhere it's always new and it's always beautiful.

- You two use a lot, lot of sweet nicknames on each other. Like wayyyy too much.

- Macaque would have definitely tried to kidnap you to get to Wukong at one point once he met you and realized how much you meant to each other.

- But that was in the past, nonetheless let's just say Macaque didn't try to the plan twice after that.

- Overall, you two are very sweet and still cuddle every night together, Wukong got so used to it that he can't sleep without you near him.

- You two rarely ever argue, you understand each other and work your problems out.

Macaque:

- Macaque loves you very very deeply, once you two get married he just *might* be affectionate towards you in public.

- Don't get your hopes up though, he does nothing more than hold your hand, just small gestures.

- He isn't very comfortable being all snuggly in public and showing too much affection.

- But once you two are alone, he never stops holding you in his arms.

- He doesn't hesitate to cuddle you anymore like he used to in the past, now he would take first action to hold you close to him when he wants to be near you.

- He still loves to tease you and mess with you, seeing you so flustered when he teases you makes him love you even more, you're just so cute when you're embarrassed.

- Yes, you still are flustered by his teasing even when married. Have you seen this man? The things he can say and do are just... Wow.

- Mostly you do tease him back and play along but he always finds something to say that leaves you completely speechless.

- By now he told you pretty much everything about him, so you know about his six ears and his past.

- Unfortunately, you two do have arguments from time to time and it's mostly about Macaque wanting to get revenge on Wukong. You don't like it, it's almost like he's obsessed with getting his revenge more than he loves you.

- You understand what Wukong did was horrible, but is there really a need for revenge after all these years instead talking it out?

- Of course, you do end up forgiving each other but it takes some time because none of you want to make the first move to apologize.

- After LBD thing tho, it's more calmer and the arguments nearly perished away.

- Macaque would often take you with him on adventures since he travels a lot, he shows you all the beautiful views he knows of.

- You're always impressed by the views you see, each is unique and magnificent.

- During those times, it's the most beautiful times with Macaque. It always stays in your memory, Macaque always does something memorable you'd never forget.

- He gets intimative with you way too many times 😭

⚠️ S4 SPOILER ⚠️

Azure Lion:

- Ok, we all barely know about the guy so don't expect this to be good but I'll try.

- Azure would do anything and everything to make sure you always feel safe and comfortable

- He has no problems of showing affection when in public but he very rarely does it

- He's not a guy to cuddle, but if you want it and crave for it? He'd hold you in his arms as much as you need him to

- He's usually very busy and doesn't have much time to be with you, he hates it too.

- But you understand, which makes him very grateful to you.

- He rarely shows any affection towards you, so it's kinda platonic between you two most of the time - yes, even if you're married

- But he does make sure to give you enough love for you to feel happy

- You never have arguments either, if you do end up having one (it's always you who comes up with a argument lol) Azure can quickly calm the situation down and come up with a good solution to both of your problems

- Azure is a very calm lion, he's not the person to let his anger take control of him.

- If you ever want to go somewhere with him, he refuses for you to tag along because it's too dangerous, and he doesn't want you to be hurt

- You do end up being disappointed after that, but Azure always does something to make it up to you, whenever that be taking you somewhere or gifting you something.

- Though it's mostly platonic between you two, he truly does love you with all his heart and whenever he takes any action of affection towards you, you blush like crazy

- THIS MAN RARELY EVER KISSES YOU, YOU WILL BE SURPRISED WHEN HE ACTUALLY DECIDES TO TAKE ACTION

- You simp for him hard. He knows it. You don't think he notices you glancing at his body? 🤨 He loves it tho and he finds it adorable and amusing.

[tayslaw]

A/n: thought this would be a cute idea. Hope you enjoy

Summary: (don't want to give too much away) you come home from your local work at Starbucks, you had such a bad day. When you came home, your boyfriend Matt, had gotten you a surprise gift :)

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo x femreader

Warnings: none, strictly platonic and cutesy :)

You didn't?!

"Hi what would you like today?" I ask the man infront of me. I put on a smile getting ready to serve him. He starts to look at the menu. He looks at me and smiles. "Well it's probably out of my reach" he says looking at me. "Well you're welcome to anything on the menu" I shine a smile. "Oh yeah? Where's your name then?" He smirks. Wow, that was painful to hear. "Oh well I'm very flattered sir, but-" I start but get cut off. "Whats say you and me get a drink after this" I stare at him in disbelief. "Sir, please order, or leave" I say sternly. He gets a bit closer, but one of my colleagues comes and sees him out. "Thanks Talia" I say sighing. "Dont mention it babe, honestly men are pigs" I laugh slightly as she takes over the till. "Why don't you have your break now. I'd say more than anything you deserve it" she says with a bright smile. I then take off my apron and go into the back to have something to eat. I grab my phone and notice that Matt had texted me. Matt and I have been together for about 7 months now. So nearly a year. He has two other brothers, who he does YouTube with.

The text..

M- heyy babe, hows work so far?

Y- well it honestly could be better

Matt's always there for everyone, especially his family. He's always willing to do anything before himself. He always puts others first.

M- whys that?

Y- sleazy guys trying to get with me :/

M- well did you tell this ass that you're already with someone?

Y- don't worry Talia came to help

M- well thats good... so when are you going to be coming home?

Y- couple of hours. Why, miss me?

M- something like that...

Y- ok...?

That was strange.

After I had my break I go back out there and served people. I was so ready to go back to Matt's and sleep. I was so tired. "Y/n?" Talia says looking at me. "Hm?" "Go home, go on i can see your barely holding it together" she says. "Oh my god thank you" I say taking off my apron and getting my stuff.

I finally get home, I get the keys and try to open the door, but.. it doesn't open. "Matt?" No answer. "Chris, Nick?" No body.. huh strange. I suddenly hear sshing. I try and listen in when I hear a wimper. "Matt hello? What's going on in there" I say getting worried. "Hold on" I hear him say. Suddenly the door opens with Matt standing there with a big smile. "Hello!" He says excitedly "what's happening?" I ask curios. "Well don't freak out-" "that just makes me more worried..." he then moves out the way to reveal a fluffy little dog on the counter. I look at him confused. "Whos this?" I ask Still looking at him with pure shock. "Your new little puppy" he says with the bright smile he had on earlier. "You got me a puppy?" I ask in a surprised yet excited way. "I sure did. I had been planning this for awhile but I thought now was the best time to show you!" He explains. I go over to the puppy and pick it up. "Shes a girl and I thought you could decide the name!" Matt says. "Aw she's so precious" I then start to think of a name. "Hmm how about angel" I look at her as she looks lovingly at me. "I think thats perfect" Matt says still smiling at us both. "Thank you Matt" I say going to hug him. "You deserve it" he says, holding me tighter. I look up at him. "I love you" I say sincerely. "I love you too y/n" he says, going to kiss my forehead.

[quackitysdrugdealer]

As some people may know i'm going to start writing one shots so i made a list of promts feel free to use these i can do other promts and things this is just ideas but there are some things i won't do like smut i will let you know if i'm uncomfortable with your request and explain that i'm uncomfortable with that and if you send in a request i'm a small account so i can pretty much guarantee that i'll get your request done within 27 hours lol but for now enjoy my promts!

1 "Aw, look at you!"

"Stop touching me."

"I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to annoy you; you're just so cute."

2 "Do you even realize how cute you are?"

"Oh yes, I'm adorable. I'm a fucking delight."

3 "I just can't get over the fact that you said yes."

(while gazing at their ring) "Believe it, baby. I said yes over a year ago."

"I know... but still."

4"I've never met anyone that makes me feel the way you do."

"Crazy?"

"Yes but in the best possible way."

5"Stop touching me."

"But I wanna cuddle!"

"Oh, well then why didn't you just say so. C'mere."

6"Do you know who's the best person in the world?"

"Me?"

"No, me but only because you make me the best person."

7"I want to be better for you."

8 "I want to deserve you and I never will unless I become a better person."

9 "I still can't believe you love me."

"Better believe it, baby."

10 "I'm crazy about you."

"Yeah, you're crazy alright."

11"Kiss me!"

"Never."

(pouting)

"Oh, I was kidding! Stop pouting like that."

12 "You're my favorite!"

"You married me, so I really hope I'm your favorite."

13 "Have you ever thought about leaving me?"

"I'd be a fool to ever want to leave you."

14 "You are the best."

"Not nearly as best as you!"

"That made no sense."

"Only because you don't understand how incredible you are."

"No, that just grammatically didn't make sense."

15 "Quit being a grammar junkie!"

"Why don't you come over here and make me?" (😘😉)

16 #11 “I’m tired” “I can see that babe” “Sleep with me?” “mhm”

17 “Kiss me?”

18 “You are my home, you have been since we met”

19 “Hi sweetheart” “Hi babe” “Is that my shirt?” “No”

20“Die” “Bet” “wait- babe no stop”

21“Hello lovely” “Hi <character name>”

22 “I've to go” “Noooo please” “Sorry love”

23“God I love you”

24 “Happy Birthday”

25: "i'm pregnant"

26: " you know i only let you touch me"

27: " there's no other person for me i swear"

28: dancing in the rain

29 "dance with me?"

30: person a shares persons Bs secrets with the there friends and they break up

31 They're drunk and you're carrying them to their room, when they unexpectedly say how much they love you, causing you to drop them on the floor

32 They end the phone call with an accidental ''love you'', leaving you flustered

33 Confessing before being separated for an uncertain period of time

34 Asking them how your name + their surname would sound like (or/and vice versa)

35 Accidentally confessing while laughing over something

36 Saying "I love you" while they're sleeping/unconscious/in coma. You know well that they can't hear you, but a small part of you hopes they did

37 Always giving each other yellow roses for valentine's day, when one day you see that you've got red roses instead

38 Tears drench your cheeks as you confess. The last thing you hear before dying is them screaming your name

39 Confessing at the same place where they first met

40 Scolding them for doing something stupid, wondering "why did I have to fall for you" and not realising that you just said that out loud

41:“You saved me, let me save you”

42: “You can’t save me and then walk out”

43: “ Focus on me please”

44: “You deserve better” “And you need more”

45: “Babe it’s not what it looks like” “Yeah? then what is it?”

46: “How are you in the wrong if you’re the only one putting in the effort to make it work?”

47: “Sometimes giving up is easier my love”

48: “How many times do we have to hurt each other before realising we’re no good at this”

49: “So what that’s it?” “Yeah it is, this relationship is one sided and I’m tired okay”

50: “Can you hold me while I go?”

51:hot chocolate and cuddles

52: person b gets hypothermia

53: breakfast in bed

54: holding there child for the first time

55: walking in on person a cuddling there baby

56: person a and b break up and 3 year's later person a finds person b with a child there child

57: Braiding eachothers hair

58: dieing before you can admit there feelings

59:dancing in the light of the fridge

60: dyeing eachothers hair

61: person a has autism

62: doing face masks together

63: one of them getting shot and almost dieing

64: person b has adhd and person a notices that there fidgety so the grab there hand

65: person a being a Assassin and is supposed to kill person b but they can't and make it there lifes mission to protect person b

66: movie night!!

67: (requester chose's a song for the oneshot to be based off of)

68: person a thinks there house is haunted but it's just person b being annoying

69: meeting the parents for the first time

70: person a finding out they need glasses and realizing how long there visions been so blurry and they thought it was normal and freaking out beacuse they can finally see person b clearly and thinking there beautiful

71: photographer meets artists

72: " we've GOT to stop meeting like this"

"You kidnapped me idiot"

" but your not a kid?"

" oh my gosh you are a idiot"

73 " murder wasn't on today's agenda"

"It's not on anyones"

" no it's on mine, just not untill next Thursday"

74: " did you have to hit me with a corpses leg? Was that really necessary?"

"Necessary. No. Hilarious, yes"

Royalty!au

Bodyguard!au

Brother's best friend!au

enemies to lovers!au

Friends to lovers!au

Love letters!au

Famous!au

Streamer!au

Assassin!au

Famous brother!au

Time travel!au

Ghost and human!au

Suicidal x therapist!au(not romancing being Suicidal please if you feel this way talk to someone even if it's just a little or about your day it will help and dms always open)

Student x teacher!au(both of age)

Demigod x mortal!au

Beast friends brother!au

Transfer student!au

Dark academy!au

Different sides in a war!au

Polor opposites!au

I hate everyone in the world but you!au

Fake dating!au

Grumpy x sunshine!au

Cowarker romance!au

And again these are just ideas you can thinknof your own if you want to

[writingwithciara]

Complete Recovery ~Demetri Alexopoulos~

summary: tired of watching his best friend get her heart broken by the same guy over and over again, demetri believes he may be the one thing she really needs

word count: 1.8k

pairings: demetri alexopoulos x reader, robby keene x reader, robby keene x tory nichols

warnings: swearing

a/n: i literally love demetri so freaking much. there's next to nothing for him on tumblr so i figured i might as well create something for him. he's too precious to go unloved

masterlist

"robby is different now."

"robby has changed."

"he's not the same person he was before."

"robby won't hurt me this time. he promised."

demetri looked across the cafeteria table as his best friend laughed at another horrible joke her boyfriend told her. he had yet to determine why she was even still with someone like robby, especially after what he did to miguel and with tory. demetri wanted to be frustrated but he promised y/n he would at least try to accept her on/off relationship with robby.

"we're gonna ditch the last half of the day. you two in?" y/n looked up at demetri and hawk. they exchanged a look and shook their heads. "oh well. suit yourself." she grabbed her tray and walked out of the cafeteria. demetri turned to watch her leave and hawk rolled his eyes.

"why is she still with that asshole?"

"i'm not sure, eli. every time i try to bring it up, she tells me how he's changed and that he won't hurt her again." he sighed and finished off his mashed potatoes. "but i don't buy that at all. he just seems way too invested in the cobra kai mentality. plus, he's an incredibly bad influence on her. i've known her her entire life and until he came along, she was adamant about never skipping classes. why can't she just believe that he's a horrible person?"

"well if he doesn't want to believe it for herself, we're just gonna have to show her how bad he is."

"and how do you suggest we do that?"

"we ask the lesser of two evils."

"i am not asking tory to help us. that's just screwed up. besides, she would never help us anyway. she hates y/n."

"true, but if she knows it's gonna get y/n to leave robby so she can have him all to herself, she will."

"i guess it never hurts to try, right?"

later that day, demetri cautiously approached tory at her locker. when she heard someone approach, she whipped around quickly and almost punched him in the face.

"what the hell do you want?"

"i need a favor."

"why would i do you a favor?"

"because i know you have a thing for robby & you'd do anything to get him back."

"what is your plan?"

"i need you to go up to him and flirt with him, get him to flirt back. meanwhile, i'll be waiting for y/n & i will get her to see it so she realizes he's no good for her."

"so you like y/n & want her to break up with robby, hoping she'll eventually turn to you? you're seriously willing to be a rebound?"

"no but i am willing to be a complete recovery."

"what's the difference?"

"a rebound is normally just a quick thing that helps her get over robby, whereas a complete recovery allows her to not only forget but to fall in love with the person she's gonna spend the rest of her life with."

"you know, i don't like you, right?"

"i am aware. and it's all good because i'm not particularly fond of you either."

"but the plan might just work. when do you want me to flirt with him?"

"he and abby have a date at the roller rink around 7:30 tonight. you still work there?"

"yeah. my shift starts at 7."

"perfect. he's gonna be meeting her there so when you see him, flirt like you've never flirted before."

"alright, sounds good. and just so you know, you're gonna owe me big time for this."

"i figured as much." he started walking away. "good luck."

later that night, as robby waited for y/n to arrive, tory approached him and began to flirt. thinking he was really into y/n this time, she did not expect him to start flirting back. it was when he made a move that she was the most shocked. he started leaning in for a kiss and he quickly pulled him closer.

y/n was walking in with demetri when she saw tory & her boyfriend all over each other. demetri was pleased his plan had worked at first but when he saw tears building up in y/n's eyes, he regretted making her feel this way. She didn't even try to confront them for their actions. she just turned around and walked back to her car. demetri followed her and got in the passenger side.

"you were right. i never should've gave robby another chance. god i am so stupid."

"no you're not stupid. you were just blinded by love." he sighed. "eli and i knew he would hurt you again but we didn't want to sit around & wait for him to do it. so eli came up with a plan."

"what? what plan?" she quickly turned her head to face him. "the plan where you got my boyfriend to make out with the enemy? was that your brilliant plan?"

"well, yes, but-"

"no, demetri. i don't care what excuse you have. you can't just do that. did you even stop to think about how i would feel when i found out?"

"yes. i figured you'd be hurt but i never thought you'd get mad at me."

"i'm not mad. i'm disappointed." she shook her head and looked back at him. "get out of my car."

"what?"

"get out of my car, demetri. i don't want to be around you right now." she sighed. demetri knew there was no fighting with her when she was this upset, so he got out and watched sadly as she drove away.

a few days had passed before demetri tried to make things right between him and y/n. unfortunately, he had chosen the night when mother nature thought they could use some rain. it hardly ever rained in reseda. by the time he knocked on her front door, he was a soaking wet mess standing on her front porch.

y/n checked the peephole & even though her initial instinct told her to not open the door, her second thought took over and allowed her to open it. "what the hell, demetri? are you fucking crazy? you could get sick. come inside to dry off."

"o-okay." he shivered a little when he stepped into her warm house. y/n handed him a towel and instead of being warm and welcoming, she stared at him with a vacant expression.

"what are you even doing here, demetri? i thought i made it clear i didn't want to be around you."

"i came to explain why we did what we did."

"you promised you'd accept my relationship with robby, even if it meant you'd have to hear me cry about him again and again. what the hell happened to that?"

"look, i was just sick and tired of him hurting you & you clearly not seeing what an idiot he was being by doing it. robby does not deserve you & i knew you weren't gonna break up with him anytime soon so i was forced to take matters into my own hands."

"you are not in charge of my life decisions, demetri. why does it matter to you who i date?"

"because robby is an asshole. i didn't want you to keep getting hurt."

"yeah, you've made that pretty freaking clear. and i know that's not the entire reason. why are you so protective of my well-being all of a sudden?"

"because i'm in love with you, alright? i have been for a really long time & just as i had finally gotten the confidence to ask you on a date, you told me you were dating robby keene, of all people. i hated that. he screwed miguel up really bad & even though he's your friend, you still stayed with robby. and then when he ended up screwing around with tory, you still gave him another chance. and then another and another. you've given him so many chances when he doesn't deserve them but you've never given a single chance to the one person who deserves it more than anyone. someone who has been devoted to you for years. someone who wishes you didn't occupy his every freaking thought. the guy who's been by your side your entire life. the guy you constantly push to the side when someone or something better comes along. someone who hopes and prays every night that you'll finally see," demetri took a deep breath, "that he's perfect for you."

"demetri, why wouldn't you just tell me that? it would've been so simple."

"because life always gets in the way. there was never a good enough time to tell you how i felt. whenever i thought it'd be a great time, you were giving robby another chance. how could i compete with someone who likes like that and has a body like he does when i look like this?" he gestured to his own body. "in case you haven't noticed, i' i'm not exactly anybody's type."

"if you would've just told me, i could've told you that you're exactly my type."

"how could i possibly be your type when you were so in love with robby?"

"in love with robby? i wasn't in love with robby."

"then why were you so upset when he was with tory the other day? why were you so mad at me for moving things along?"

"i don't know. i guess i was just frustrated because you've always looked out for me and i didn't think about how you must've been feeling."

"but you kicked me out of your car that night."

"because i didn't want you to see me upset."

"i've seen you upset before. what made that different?"

"all those times, i was upset with robby. the other night, i was upset with myself for getting mad at you. i didn't want to ever be mad at you."

"it's alright. your anger is justified. i screwed up real bad."

"yeah you did. but it's okay." she looked at him and smiled. "i love you, demetri. i truly do."

"i don't know why you do because i'm an idiot." he chuckled and watched as y/n stepped closer.

"that's true. but you're really cute & that makes up for you being an idiot. luckily, i like both sides of that coin." she smiled and pulled him down to meet her lips. demetri was surprised at first but he kissed back quickly. he may have been an idiot but he was happy to know that he was now her idiot.

[funkymbtifiction]

I got John Lucovich’s book “The Instinctual Drives and the Enneagram” a few weeks ago and read it, but it was a lot of information to absorb at once, so I’m rereading it in slower chunks this time to retain more of it. First, it’s an excellent book so I recommend buying and reading it. Second, rereading his extensive explanations of each social variant had certain people popping into my head, both characters and from my life that I could see correlate with each dominant. (It surprises me, but one of my friends appears to be a so/sx. I expected sx/so.) I can also see how accurately (at least, based on what I observe of these people) his blind-spot descriptions are.

Third, I do think I’m sp/so. I have a lot of social, but my main focus appears to be on self-pres and this has caused some conflict with social dominants in the past, where they couldn’t understand my casual detachment in that area (oh well) and I thought their over-focus on appearances was a bit much. I also want to pull away from people and be autonomous, where social dominants seem to want more of a constant connection. (Them: Wouldn’t us living together be incredible? I could see you all the time! Me: *looks on them with horror*)

One thing I really liked that brought my entire approach into context was this quote from the self-preservation section in general:

“Self Preservation types have a strong capacity for working and putting effort in a focused direction. They usually don’t have ambition for status so much as a drive for material or creative accomplishment, or for a place where their energy can be channeled into something practical and meaningful. Self Preservation builds a quality of persistent, useful energy that’s useful to building toward long-term aims.”

That... explains a lot about me, and my work process. How despite being an ENFP and having an overload of my ideas, I identify and focus on doing one massive project at a time, rather than flitting my attention between them. I stay focused. Work on things until they’re done. It demands enormous amounts of mental energy that soon deplete me and cause me to withdraw, feel tired, or just want to cozy up at home. This is why I’m not social or extroverted in a traditional sense. SP-doms are aware of energy expenditure and worn out by socializing. I can also tell where having inferior Si undermines being an sp-dom to some extent. I often work myself mentally into exhaustion, as John L. would call it, “overdoing it” rather than “under-doing it.”

My happiest and most mentally well times are when I allow myself to admit I am tired and quit work for the day, even if it’s not finished yet. When I push away my need for completion (low Te) in the knowledge that my mind and body needs down time to rejuvenate, and a one or two day delay at the cost of mental exhaustion isn’t worth it. Sensors and stronger Si types seem to be better at recognizing a need for rest than me.

I’ve been pushing myself too hard recently, unfortunately... but the bonus thing is, I am almost done with book rewrites! Just two more sections to go. :)

I took some notes on the things the types focus on under stress (this really brought to mind certain characters) to show you other useful things his book provides:

Enneagram types under stress:

 Self-pres: fear of scarcity and harm

 Social: fear of being ostracized, excluded, or abandoned

 Sexual: fear of being undesirable and sexually overlooked

SP 1: reacts to hang-ups and imperfections in one’s lifestyle and environment as an affront to their idealistic sense of rightness and perfection.

SOC 1: becomes an impeccable exemplar of the values they wish their peers reflected, a “reformer” in the social realm.

SX 1: holds themselves, partners, and all relational dynamics to intense standards, to ward off sexual rejection through their own rejection of those who can’t measure up.

SP 2: projects scarcity onto others and acts as a caretaker at the neglect of themselves, running into exhaustion in hopes of reciprocation.

SOC 2: positions themselves as indispensable to loved ones by offering support, mentorship, or granting them access to important people.

SX 2: projects fears of undesirability onto others and then fills those needs to make them feel desirable or sexy. Makes themselves over to represent the “complete package” or “ideal lover.”

 SP 3: works to excess to stave off scarcity while also performing their best version of abundance and success in a chosen lifestyle.

SOC 3: competes for status and embraces the best traits of their environment to be outstanding, inspiring, and invaluable.

SX 3: competes to the be the most attention-grabbing, majestic, and fascinating sexual partner around, and embody idealized traits.

 SP 4: takes scarcity personally, as fuel for despair or something to rebel against.

SOC 4: represents their unique, edgy, mysterious side, while being aloof, keeping others desirous and fascinated y their presence.

SX 4: amplifies their intense personal “flavor,” mystique or talents to occupy a desired lover’s attention while trying to undermine any rivals.

 SP 5: minimizes their dependence on any needs to give more energy over to concentration.

SOC 5: become “the expert,” offering their specialized understanding and insight to be an indispensable recognized expert, while trying simultaneously to distinguish and separate themselves from others.

SX 5: provides intense penetrating, captivating insight and focus, but abruptly withdraws when they feel insufficient energy to engage with a lover or that emotional demands are being placed on them.

 SP 6: invests in and worries about the things that ensure their resources, and feel conflicted about upholding their obligations to others versus self-care.

SOC 6: defend friends, relationships, and values against harmful influences, and upkeep social agreements and structures as essential.

SX 6: exaggerates sexual characteristics and tests others’ levels of attraction by acting out to prove they’re exciting and desirable.

 SP 7: launches into plans and backup plans of how to acquire a lifestyle that gives them the freedom to pursue what they like, and indulge in rewards in the meantime.

SOC 7: form many different connections, friends, and talents, to be able to contribute without giving themselves over to any one thing.

SX 7: use high energy, over the top spectacles to dazzle or entertain prospective lovers, but quickly move on if they fear rejection or boredom.

 SP 8: hardens themselves, becomes overly intense and energized about securing necessary resources for their well being, “taking what’s mine.”

SOC 8: take charge of the social realm, be the galvanizing force.

SX 8: attempt to dominate their desired lover’s attention and energy, while using provocation to be “too much to handle.”

 SP 9: uses comforts, work and exercise to “get by on little,” settling for small habits and comforts at the expense of finding and pursuing what they really want for their lives.

SOC 9: over-adapt to others in relationships and resign themselves too quickly into social roles.

SX 9: use sexuality to disassociate, hiding behind sexuality or attraction and over-adapting to their partners’ preferences.