#not my autocorrect fail though

[valerian-insomniac]

@mapleykin and @moonionraccoon

A mapley pecan pie and French moononion soup.

Next is Soni side up eggs-

[nonuggetshere]

KNOCK ON WOOD BUT I THINK MY MIGRAINE IS GOING AWAY, I MIGHT DRAW SOMETHING

Btw my LGBT+ headcanon doodles are still open if anybody wants to request them, or just gimme any suggestions you'd like, I might draw them (girl help I am extremely bored)

Or I might write something (glares at this buggycule WIP fic in my drafts)

[shuaflix]

driving lessons for dummies (preview)

PAIRING ▸ kwon soonyoung x fem!reader

GENRES ▸ fluff, humor (i am bringing back romcoms), smut, strangers to lovers au, college au (WHO GUESSED IT)

WARNINGS ▸ profanity, so much pining, mc has the worst luck imaginable, soonyoung is down horrendous, he is also an olivia rodrigo stan, there is a minor car crash, there is also a very minor description of blood, almost car sex at some point, probably sex that is not in a motor vehicle at some other point if plot allows, pet names (but not in the sexy genre sorry), friend group shenanigans (ft. mingyu, seungcheol, jihoon, junhui) bc im a my little pony friendship is magic type bitch, and other warnings tba bc i haven't finished writing

SUMMARY ▸ you've finally passed your written test and gotten your permit after six failed attempts. eager to get your license while attempting to avoid overpriced driving lessons, you enlist the help of kwon soonyoung, who only requires a STIIZY pod as payment.

RELEASE DATE ▸ out now!

WORD COUNT ▸ around 12k (hopefully......)

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ i was actually very on the fence about who this fic should be for at first, but...... it was destined to be for hoshi :') also this preview is kinda short because there's so much i don't want to spoil! anywho send an ask or comment to be added to the tag list !! ♡

KWON SOONYOUNG.

Junhui sent you his number after he dropped you off at your apartment. Apparently, Soonyoung was one of his good friends, who also happened to have a side gig where he gave out driving lessons at a discounted price. Of course, the downside was that Soonyoung wasn’t exactly certified to teach people how to drive, but he was allegedly a good driver.

His lessons were normally for high schoolers, and he charged their parents around a hundred. For adults over the age of 21, though, he had a special offer that you couldn’t resist. 

You texted him to ask if he had any open spots for you. He took a few days to reply, but you eventually got a two-hour slot for the next week. You weren’t sure how effective his lessons would be, but you figured you would give it a shot since he was your age and giving out classes for cheap. 

When the day of your lessons rolled around, you were slightly anxious while you were waiting for him to arrive. You needed Junhui to reassure you for hours last night, promising that no, Soonyoung was not going to kidnap and murder you. He was a student at your university, actually, and he was a public health major who never had a murderous thought in his life.

soonyoung (driving instructor): i’m outside your house 

Okay, if he wasn’t a murderer, then the least he could do was not text you like one.  

After replying with an omw that autocorrected to On my way! and left you feeling very distressed that your communication sounded overly-enthusiastic, you worked up the courage to walk outside to his Honda Accord. 

“Hi,” you greeted shyly when you opened the door. “You’re Soonyoung, right?” 

Honestly, you didn’t care if he was Soonyoung or not. The man sitting in the driver’s seat was probably one of the most attractive people you had ever laid eyes on. Even if he wasn’t Kwon Soonyoung, you would happily let him kidnap you. Maybe you’d even blush a little because he picked you of all people to kidnap. 

He turned to look at you, seeming a little surprised that you opened the door but smiling nevertheless. “Yeah, that’s me. You’re Y/N?” 

When you nodded, he got out of the driver’s seat and motioned for you to take it. You skirted around the car to sit inside while Soonyoung took the passenger’s seat. 

You also got a glance of his off-brand, beige Fear of God Essentials sweater that read M.I.L.F. Hunter instead. Classy. 

“So, you came to me because you didn’t wanna give up your semester’s worth of college tuition for driving lessons,” Soonyoung said with an overwhelming air of confidence. 

“Yeah, pretty much.” You huffed. “Here, I heard this was your payment.”

You handed him a paper bag, not bothering to take out the receipt from the dispensary. Inside was the King Louis XIII STIIZY pod. One gram. 

“Ah, good. You know your stuff.”

Soonyoung hummed as he examined the box, and you were just wondering when he would get to business and start showing you the controls in his car. You were slightly overwhelmed by his impressively relaxed demeanor. Maybe it would have been better if you settled for an uptight woman in her sixties. Pretty boys were always trouble. 

“You made the right choice coming to me. I’m a much better driver than those hags from the driving schools around here,” he continued. It was like he could read your mind; it was almost terrifying. “Plus, way less likely that I’ll get a heart attack in the passenger’s seat.” 

He was a total weirdo, but he was hot, so you supposed it canceled out in some obscure, mathematical sense. 

"That’s… good to hear, I think,” you replied. “So, are you, like, good at this?”

“Are you kidding? I’m basically the Lebron of driving.”

“I see.” You nodded along, unsure. “I don’t watch football, so…” 

“He plays basketball, but close enough.”

[olderthannetfic]

I just saw a fanfic tagged 'corn with plot'.

Corn. Corn.

I just finished posting a story where a man gets fucked by both his sons at the same time in the same hole. I read a story yesterday where a woman hired another woman to rape her son while she watched. I found out about AO3 when I was looking for Thorki.

You can say porn. I promise, "the algo" won't fail to promote you, the c#ns0rs won't get you, you can say porn. I know this because not only have I done it, I've seen things on AO3 much, much more involved than *checks notes* two consenting adults fucking after getting married.

Gen Z, I am trying with all my power not to buy into generation war bullshit. I do my best not to snipe at people younger than me. But if you can't say the word porn on an archive full of porn, are you sure you're ready to write it, let alone post it? If you can't even say the word porn to a website - which is not capable of judging you - in the privacy of your own room, are you even old enough to be posting it?

I was 10 when I found out what porn was. I thought it was gross. I could still say the word.

Please raise yourself up to the level of a 10 year old, or get off the internet.

--

It could be autocorrect though.

[thenightshadowqueen]

Okay I know I mentioned it in my list of favourite SFTH moments, but the thirsty vampires sketch deserves its own post, so fuck it.

I’m going to start with the obvious: Sam. What the fuck, Sam? Honestly I don’t even know where to start because he opens with ~oh yeah~ and he just keeps going and I. Honestly who gave him the right. He’s so. I just. He’s. I’ve lost my words. How dare he. (This can be applied to any number of things he did in this one. Because what the fuck.) He starts out as a typical captive but then it gets sexual in Sam’s trademark way (and none of us are surprised but we’re all here for it) and then there’s the sapphic love triangle and have you ever had a woman and then he’s a vampire slayer in disguise???? I just. Sam. Sam.

And then there’s Luke. Who’s there being a genius with her name is Sephora and who plays off of his tension with Sam so beautifully (like he always does but that doesn’t make it less impressive) with his own oh yeah and his finger under Sam’s chin and just. Yeah. (I love how they’re so comfortable with each other as actors; it genuinely makes the entire group.) And then there’s the stagecraft slap to AJ which I’m obviously totally normal about.

And AJ. Bobby. Ybbob. [Autocorrect thought I just tried to type ‘umbilical’. Just thought I’d share that.] He’s so pathetic, with I’m taking off my shirt; ooh, so sexy and I’ll be in the master bedroom if you want to have sex with me. He’s like a little wet sack and I love him for it. He’s trying so hard to make his lover happy and he’s failing so miserably and I just want to give him a pat on the head.

Tom wasn’t really in this one (although I’m sure he would’ve been amazing), but shoutout to him for coming up with ‘Ybbob’ and saving AJ.

Honestly the fact that this scene is still in my head even though it’s been like a month (I think?) since it came out really says something. Well fucking done to SFTH, because oh my god. I adore everything they do, but this sketch has to be one of my favourites.

Anyway I just wanted to scream about this. If anyone wanted to read this, there you go. If not, fair enough.

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

[iwrotetheilliad]

Shut up & Drive

♡ You and Reo try so hard to have moments to yourself, but the paparazzi say otherwise. Eventually, Reo gets sick of it.

Genre: P WITHOUT P ;)

CW: Slight exhibitionistm (you can see the rest of the world but they can’t see you) Y’all get it on in the back of Reo’s limo, fingering, dirty talk, dry humping a little. I’m pretty sure that’s everything, but please be wary cuz this is smut!

Characters: Fiancé! Reo Mikage

A/N: i was in a mood this morning, had THE MOST Reo brainrot one could possibly have and made this! I didn’t proofread so if autocorrect is a bitch and changes this then that’s not my fault :p. Also, tumblr was like “no, you can’t post this,” but imma try again. Bon appétit my loves!

“Keep walking sir,” Reo’s head bodyguard commands as he and his team fend off the mob of people desperate to catch a glimpse of their favorite soccer player.

Reo has his arm slung over your shoulder and his other hand clutching the arm closest to him. Even though you’re not the one the public is after, your fiancé never fails to make you his number one priority. When you two finally make it through the swarm of fans and flashing lights, Reo guides you into the car before him.

Suddenly, he feels someone grab his shoulder. For a brief moment he assumes it’s his body guard, but when the stranger starts pulling, the purple-haired boy’s fight-or-flight instincts kick in. He shoves the hand off of him and turns around, offering a withering glare to whoever was the culprit.

“Fuck off,” he growls before climbing into the car after you.

“Are you ok?” you ask once he slams the door behind him.

He’s silent for a moment, before turning his body towards you. Reo shuffles closer towards you and nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck. His arms snake around your waist, and pull you closer to him, so that your body is half in his lap.

“I hate them so much,” he groans into your neck. “All I wanted was one moment with you and the world decided to make me its bitch.”

“I know,” you mumble comfortingly, bringing your hand up to stroke his hair.

The car starts moving and the two of you stay in that position. Eventually, Reo knocks on the divider. “Play some music,” he sternly says, and just like that, the speakers come to life. After a few moments, Reo commands again, “Raise the volume.”

“But sir-”

“Do it,” he commands again.

The volume is promptly raised. The two of you continue sitting in silence until you feel Reo’s soft lips pressing against your neck. At first, he just feathers small pecks all over, but soon, he starts to suck gently at the most sensitive part.

“R-r-reo,” you stammer. He doesn’t stop what he’s doing, instead he just sucks harder. Subconsciously, your hips begin grinding against his thigh.

Reo leaves the first mark he made and starts a new one further down your neck. His hands start guiding your hips along his thigh. When he finishes crafting this new mark, he hums as his iron grip stops you ministrations in its tracks. You let out a whine as you crane your neck to get a good look at him.

“Mean,” you mumble as you go in for a kiss.

Reo’s hand leaves your hip to grab a handful of your hair. He yanks your head back after a few seconds of making out, a string of spit lingering between your lips.

“Do you want me?” he asks lowly. You eagerly nod, and he scoffs, “Even though our driver can hear you? Even though I could open these windows and let the world get a view of my pretty little girl?”

“I want you Reo,” you confirm, beginning to roll your hips again.

Reo lets out an animalistic groan as the curve of your ass starts to brush up against his cock. He rests his forehead at the back of your neck while muttering, “You’re such a little whore aren’t you? You get off to the idea of the rest of the world watching us huh? You want the rest of the world to see those pretty little tits as you ride my fingers?”

“Please.”

“Well the rest of the world doesn’t get to see how beautiful you are when you’re completely fucked out, only I do,” he growls protectively. “I’m gonna watch you fall apart over my fingers like the little slut you are.”

With that, Reo’s hands snake down beneath your skirt’s waistband. He doesn’t go beneath your panties though, instead just rubbing your clit through the thing fabric.

“Already so wet,” he coos, “such a good girl, ready to take my dick whenever and wherever.”

You nod eagerly, and stop getting off on your lover’s thigh. Instead, you hungrily grind into Reo’s hands, letting your panties get even more wet. You pull your shirt over your head, and lean forward a little to undo your bra clip. Finally, you relax back into your fiancé’s body, snaking an arm up around his neck.

Reo murmurs praises into your ear, before finally, he can’t take just feeling you through the fabric. When he breaches the band of your underwear and finally puts his fingers in you, you moan. It’s so loud and shameless, but you don’t care. Reo is pushing his fingers in you, and it’s all so, good! Your hands move to your chest.

“Reo!” you cry when he curls his fingers in just the right way. “Oh my god, please don’t stop, please- yea right there- ahh, ahh, ah!”

Your fluids spill all over his fingers as Reo soothes you. “That’s it my love, that’s it,” he whispers into your ear as you squirm in his lap. You feel your body physically relax, a result of the sudden pleasure leaving your system.

You take time to relax, and smooth out your breathing, as Reo uses his free hand to grab your discarded shirt. Reo adjusts you so that now, your legs are shut and both are hooked over his thighs. You lean against him after pulling your shirt over yourself. The music is still blaring, but Reo pulls out his headphone and hands you one while putting the other in his own ear. For the rest of the ride, you fall asleep curled into your soon-to-be-husband.

Hopefully this works now!

[backjustforberena]

I'm so tired of people criticizing Rhaenys just because they can't grasp a nuanced conversation. I keep rolling my eyes when they bring up Jaehaerys or Luke taking Aemond's eye—it wasn't that hard to understand her point.

By the way, I'd like to know your opinion on Corlys when he said, "then we must hope to see our way forward in time." Some people think he was hinting at having a son, especially since he was holding Rhaenys's hips. However, in my opinion, he was already considering his bastards.

I'm on my mobile phone right now, so apologies for any mistakes or autocorrect mishaps that I fail to spot.

It is frustrating to see the criticism of Rhaenys but, as things have gone on, it's become fairly unsurprising to me. Sad, though. I think there are a myriad of reasons why Rhaenys as a character particularly seems to suffer from woeful interpretation from some viewers. This can range simply from her not behaving like however the watcher might have envisioned her character in the book, to having a certain negative opinion of her to be applied every time she speaks or acts, no matter what.

I think a lot is to do with Rhaenys's positioning. You need to engage with Rhaenys to fully appreciate her point of view. Her perspective is not an easy one to come by unless you make the effort to understand some fundamental truths about her. And, on screen, she is a character who is ambiguous, certainly in the first season. She is deliberately cautious and her speech reflects that.

We very rarely see her vulnerable and very rarely see her being inconsiderate of context. We have an idea of her backstory but we have not seen everything she has been through or how major events have shaped her, personally, on an emotional level. We are denied seeing unguarded responses or aftermaths.

She is frequently a vehicle for uncomfortable truths. She mainly shines in 1 vs 1 scenes, and they often include some judgement or passing of information or confrontation. When the scene partner is a favourite character or a character who has had more prominent screentime, it's very easy to discredit Rhaenys because to credit her would be to admit some flaw or ugliness about the other player. So much that I've seen is about what Rhaenys's words mean for that person or that issue rather than what it tells us about Rhaenys. What Rhaenys is thinking of considering. What her perspective is. And to also admit that an audience's perspective on something is different to Rhaenys's, either by proximity (our sense of time between things is different due to the storytelling) or by information (us being aware of things or details Rhaenys isn't - or IS, as as may be the case with various relationships and her past and her claim).

So I think a lot of hate comes from a lack of willingness to engage with what and who Rhaenys is. Rhaenys is usually, frankly, an onion.

On to your question about Rhaenys and Corlys and Corlys's intentions... He is not hinting at having a son with Rhaenys. Rhaenys is in her 50s at least and is a menopausal woman, if we take Eve Best's word for it. She is NOT having a baby. Corlys is just putting his hands on her hip for the same reason she puts her hand in his hair: they want to be close and love one another and they're also always one good reason away from having sex.

Do I think he's considering Alyn and Addam? Actually... no, I don't. Certainly NOT consciously. It's not an option right now, not with Rhaenys living and, and I cannot stress this enough, Corlys is not expecting to lose his wife. Nothing about that conversation suggests that, nor have any of their others. The possibility of HIM dying has come up. Her? No.

I think it's a general feeling of wanting to avoid the issue for the sake of peace with his wife. He just doesn't want to have the conversation. I think he is also still grappling with his own mortality, having nearly died and having had Luke die. He may simply not want to move on from that space yet. He's asking for time. He's still including her with "we", but it's a tricky conversation and not one he's up to having. Nor one that he wants to admit to have to have.

In short: dumbass is trying to deflect.

[666writingcafe]

An Interview With Levi

Part Two of a New Series

Question One: What turns you on?

Oh, we're starting here. Okay...um...info dumping? Like, I enjoy listening to someone talk about something they're passionate about, especially if it's something that requires a lot of skill and/or knowledge.

Question Two: What kind of kiss appeals to you?

I'm a sucker for a kiss on the cheek. There's something so sweet about it that makes my heart race.

Question Three: What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

Even though this is ongoing, I'm proud of the fact that I've been able to overcome some of my social anxiety.

Question Four: What is a positive childhood lesson that helps you even today?

This is gonna sound stupid, but "sharing is caring". I've found that the more I trust someone, the easier it is for me to share. It's a sort of litmus test that I use to determine someone's character.

Question Five: What advice would you give your younger self if you ever met?

People care about you more than you think. Don't allow your insecurities to push them away.

Question Six: What is your greatest fear?

It used to be rejection, but now it's waking up one day and finding out that Mammon sold all my stuff.

Question Seven: If you could fix one of the biggest problems in the world, what would that problem be?

Racism. It seems to be a huge problem across the three realms, and I don't think that's right. You can't judge someone solely based on the color of their skin or the type of being they are.

Question Eight: What’s the best surprise you’ve ever received?

Okay, so there was this limited edition Ruri-chan figurine that I really wanted, and the website said there was one left, but when I went to buy it, it had been sold. I was really bummed about it for a while, but then one day MC comes in my room and gives me a wrapped box with a bow on top. Turns out, they bought the last figurine specifically so that they could give it to me as a gift. I nearly dropped the box the figurine was in out of shock.

Question Nine: If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do?

Scare Mammon. He has a fear of ghosts.

Question Ten: If you were stranded on an island, which three items would you be unable to live without?

Other than food and water? (Yes.) Okay, um...my phone, its charger, and my goldfish.

Question Eleven: If you had the chance to ask your future self one question, what would it be?

There are so many questions that I'd want to ask that I'd probably end up overwhelmed by having to choose just one.

Question Twelve: What is the weirdest food you love to eat for breakfast?

Waffles drizzled with ketchup.

Question Thirteen: What is the most embarrassing autocorrect fail you have ever had?

One time, when I was texting Mammon to pay back the money he owed me, the word "money" autocorrected to "mommy". He teased me about it for days. It was awful.

Question Fourteen: What is the most bizarre thing you have seen someone do in public?

Solomon. Just...he's a really strange guy, and anything he does in public is bizarre to me.

Question Fifteen: What is the craziest dream you have ever had?

Intentional or unintentional? (What do you mean?) There are times where I ask Belphie to create a specific dream for me, mainly whenever I've been up for days and need to go asleep and stay that way for a while. (Would you mind sharing one?) The one that comes to mind and that fits the question is one that required coordination on everyone's part to make possible. To disclose more than that would be breaching their privacy, and I don't feel comfortable doing that. (I see. Well, how about an unintentional dream?) I once fought dinosaurs with Ruri-chan, but the dinosaurs were my brothers, and I didn't want to hurt them, but they were attacking Ruri-chan's village. It was a really strange dream.

Question Sixteen: Who do you think is more romantic, men or women?

I think they're equally romantic. I feel like women tend to go for the grand gestures, while men focus more on the small things, but that's hardly universal.

Question Seventeen: What do you think makes a person attractive?

Confidence.

Question Eighteen: What do you think is the difference between romance and love?

One's a blazing inferno of emotions, and the other is a single candle lighting up a room.

Question Nineteen: What would be the name of the book written on your life?

Probably "The Insecure Otaku", although I'm sure that answer will change as I get older.

Question Twenty: What is a quirk of yours you feel comfortable sharing?

I can sing a bunch of anime theme songs backwards.

Question Twenty-One: What is the dumbest question you were asked?

Every other question asked by Mammon. It's not that he's stupid; he just doesn't think things all the way through before he opens his mouth.

Question Twenty-Two: Have you ever been kicked out of any place?

A human world aquarium.

Question Twenty-Three: Would you rather fight a hundred ant-sized horses or a single horse-sized ant?

What kind of horses are they? (Wild stallions.) And the ant? (A fire ant.) Fuck that; I'll take the horses any day. I'm not messing with a fire ant.

Question Twenty-Four: Where would you take aliens first if they ever approached you?

It honestly depends. If they asked me to take them to a specific place, then I'd probably oblige, but if they pull the whole "take me to your leader", then I'm taking them to Lord Diavolo and making him deal with it. He'd probably get a kick out of it, if I'm totally honest.

Question Twenty-Five: What song would be the theme of your life?

You know those songs that are insanely loud and the singer is screaming and you can't understand a word they're saying and you're overwhelmed by the sheer amount of noise? That's basically the story of my life.

Question Twenty-Six: Would you prefer a pause button for the globe or a rewind button for your life?

Honestly, I don't know. There are too many variables. Is there a force field that's created by the pause button that makes it possible for you to still move? If there is, can you put anyone else in that force field? And then there's the rewind button. How far back can you go? How do you return to the present? Are you even able to, or are you forced to relive that portion of your life all over again? Do you retain the knowledge of your present self, or do you revert back to the person you were at that point in your life?

Question Twenty-Seven: Which dad joke is your favorite?

I like the punny ones. They make me snort in amusement.

Question Twenty-Eight: What is the most inventive way you can think of to use duct tape?

Ask Lucifer. He can turn the most ordinary objects into torture devices. He's like a spy in that regard. Or maybe a ninja.

Question Twenty-Nine: What rule, if any, would you add to the game of hide and seek?

Being able to come up with punishments for the people that you find.

Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan

[p-redux]

From Anon that made me spit out my coffee this morning. 🤣

I didn't reply since I've answered this MANY times. Google Search is your friend, my friends. I am not Google, please, for the love of God, SEARCH my blog and/or Google before you come an ask me things I've answered over and over. Anyhooo, as she promised, the Anon didn't give up and sent another Ask this morning. 👇

Before I answer...🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 OMG, "Sam's penis seizure" will go down in fandom annals as one of the funniest autocorrect fails ever. "Sam's penis seizure," I'm still laughing. Needless to say, I think the Anon meant "size," not "seizure." But, hey, she's not far off, many penis do look like they're having seizures when aroused hahaha.

So, to answer your question, Anon. The shrimp comment Sam and Cait made years ago was this. They were having fun with Brazilian fans, tweeting in Portuguese. 👇

And Caitriona one upped Sam with 👇

They were OBVIOUSLY kidding and bantering together, as has always been their style. IOW, they were joking around. Anyone who actually thinks Cait was saying Sam has a small peen literally should go to Walmart and return their brain and get a refund.

Here's an old post where we all laughed about how funny Sam and Cait were being. 👇

As for the size of Sam's dirk, I've already discussed this MANY times. Here's an old post, where I mention it briefly, and what Sam himself said about it. 👇

And here is a longer post showing evidence that Sam Roland Heughan ain't shrimpy. JS. 👇

And finally here, conclusive scientific proof that TMGD aka The Magical Golden Dirk is so magical it makes grown women lose their dang minds. That doesn't happen with small dick. It just doesn't. 👇

I've seen lots 'o penis in my day, and small peen does NOT show from the side like this. 👇 It just doesn't.

Some men are "showers" a la Jon Hamm 👇 Meaning, their peen "shows" even when not erect.

But most men are "growers," like Sam. Meaning their dirk is well hidden and sleeping until it's gets woken up, and then it GROWS.

I hope that answers your question, Anon. But, please don't come back demanding I answer you and if I don't, you will keep bugging me until I do. I don't take kindly to people telling me what to do. Do it again, and I'll block you. I do thank you for my much needed laugh for the day, though. ❤️

[transingthoseformers]

Evil transformers thoughts

Sparks are Cybertronian's souls but we know from mtmte that they can swapped out without the cybertronian ever knowing.

So how would it feel if you knew that you were not you. You have the same mind, same body, same memories, but not the soul. You have taken over someone else's body, taking their place, and you never know.

You think you're the same person as surely you would notice your soul being replaced. You don't though, because the soul that replaced your original soul believes it is you and as such you believe your soul was never replaced.

How many cybertronians have gone through these process? Sparks can extinguish while the frame is still healthy and frames can fail while the spark is alive. How many sparks were taken from their bodies, dying or not, and put into another body whose spark had perished or stolen?

Cybertronians are still machines, their parts can be replaced, their souls can be replaced. How would it feel that the one thing you believed would be constant, unchangable, something that can never be replaced, can be swapped out like an oil change.

Would you still count as you? Or are you just living someone else's life?

Would mtmte Megatron still be the same as the Megatron before the bar fight? Or are they two separate people? Did Megatron truly die that night? If so, then who lead the Decepticons?

I apologize if my formatting is a little weird and my words are mispelled, I typed this out on mobile with my autocorrect disabled.

That's kinda a mood, feeling like your soul has been switched out /hj

Anyway that's nightmare fuel, exactly, imagining this happened to several other characters too— IMAGINE MEGATRON HAVING AN INTERNAL MELTDOWN ABOUT THIS

or external

An external meltdown would be cool too

[kitofawriter]

Spoilers for LMK season five Episode 5-6 below the cut!

Starting again! Leggo!

Mei’s jet survived the crash I see

Trucker Pigsy! Jot that under ‘things I didn’t know I needed until now’

“Big Ham” somebody was WAITING to use that trucker name for him.

I like the design of those rocks.

Red laser in a flame named episode. Is this where we get Red Son?

The way Pigsys ears flap in the wind!!!

Also I’m going to assume this follows what everyone else was doing in the last episode so the crash hasn’t happened yet.

For some reason I’m getting a ‘this is gonna be a pod racing episode’ vibe. I am probably wrong but now I want that episode (even if we’ve already had a race episode)

You got stopped by a very cute mouse!

I feel like so far Pigsy is the one that works best in this animation. Idk, theres been no really jarring movements for him that I’ve noticed.

Red Son!!!! Yes Mei! Show him the love he deserves!!

Red Son guesses correctly. They are indeed stopping the apocalyptic cracks

Mei’s face! OMG!!!

Red Son is like the opposite of Tang. He’d probably be surprised to find out something isn’t real.

Is this like a Samadi fire thing? Are we finally getting anything related to that?

He’s so proud to be the creator of the Samadi fire!!

Researching the origins of the true fire? So…the Samadi fire? The fire you made?

Little pet fire dragon???? Are we giving Mei a weapon of mass destruction as a pet? Because that could not go wrong! /s

*cough* a failed replica of the Samadi fire *cough*

I love whatever that is. It needs a goofy name.

:3 face Mei!!

Also she’s so ready to go and he’s just like ‘hold oh like .2 seconds PLEASE’

“This is why we don’t hang out” please, you don’t hang out cause you don’t wanna admit you like peasants.

Pigsy’s going through some stuff. Maybe Tang can help with those scrawny ankles.

If you can’t tell, I love the scrawny ankles joke. It’s so funny.

“I’m his father” “I’m not strong enough to keep him safe” Pigsy you were the ONLY person that could help him sleep. Don’t downplay the care you give him. Also this is gonna end in so much angst.

Tang really regretting that “we’re side characters at best” comment from season three right about now.

Is Red Sons plan style INVADER ZIM?!?!

Red Son you are so dramatic. I love you!

Was…was that shot a FMA reference?!

Pigsy you are a good dad! You’re there for MK when he needs you! Don’t be sad!!

“You know it’s kinda your fault right?” Tang that is not helping!

Tang saying Pigsy was the one who made MK a good person! I can’t!! I need to pause!

“You’re his dad!”

The little mice!! I’m screaming!

I was not prepared for this many Pigsy feels!!

Tang is the number 1 found family supporter!

“This is not the best time for a crisis of confidence!!”

Mei, you’re the best, don’t doubt yourself.

Red Son stepping between her and the fire!!!

Ooohh, cool green electric form!!

Mei mech!! Mei mech!!!! Badass Mei mech!!

Isn’t that one of the pets from club penguin?

“Everyone gets a mech except for me” petition to give Red Son a mech 2024

The demon bull family picture!!

Red Son being determined to help those he loves!!

“See noodle boy” of the spicynoodle shippers screamed right there.

“Hey I texted you for help! You never responded” •-•

Mei’s been sending nonstop puppy videos!

Phone stop autocorrecting Mei to key please. I’m not even sure why that’s the word you’re choosing?

Mei communicates with puppy videos, no words needed.

She left her phone.

Episode 6! Leggo!! This is gonna be my last one today because though I want to stop worrying about spoilers, I also want it to last at least a little bit longer.

We inch ever closer to the return of Mac and also to later episodes that I just KNOW will be emotionally devastating.

Tang panicking, things are as they should be.

Was that the shoe guy but voiced by a woman? Good for her.

Pigsy vs destiny the season.

MK learning for SWK and Sandy!!!

Best buds Monkey King and Sandy! That’s them! I’m sure you’ll get your episode Mei.

Im guessing Mei or Tang help this episode then Pigsy helps with the final stone, but I could be wrong.

The art of SWK of fire and Sandy being held by the snake is hilarious. 10/10 no notes.

The MK and Mei art is also adorable.

Its gonna be the Tang episode to harken back to the dumpling episode where Mei thought she was gonna go and didn’t.

Sandy, you’re very inconspicuous, don’t listen to the mean old Tangy.

“Borrowing”

They all look…awesome.

Jin and yin!!

Are those helmets? Cause they look really weird. I get what they’re going for but I don’t like it.

Also they shoulda grabbed Pigsy if they wanted a singer.

Why doesn’t Mo get a disguise?

For some reason some of Mei’s lines are difficult for me to catch. I need subtitles, that aren’t auto generated and thus awful.

Nezha!!! My boi!! (If you haven’t noticed, basically all the characters are my boi, except Mei she my girl!)

“He’s bombing! You’re bombing!”

Nezha should joint Chang’e’s roller derby team. (This is a headcanon but they need to make it canon)

SWK were you gonna fight Nezha or try to talk to him before Mei grabbed you? you didn’t look fighty.

“Ahhh!” Followed by the guards flying.

“You’re not getting away that easi…” cap in face

Who threw the whole stall person and all?!?!

*meme of the person holding the cat down that’s surrounded by broken potted plants* Wukong.

Nezha mech!! Also Nezhie you’re trying really hard to catch these guys for someone who believes in their innocence.

The flower jetpack looking this is a really cool design.

I should draw Nezha

“We have to get out of here!” “What? Why? I can handle Nezhie” SWK, I love you so much (second only to Sandy in this version)

“Wah?”

MK trusting Nezha!!! And stepping in front of the blade!!! Nezha STOPPING!!!

“My father!” My guy, your father is a big meany. You’ve SEEN them stop world ending disasters before INCLUDING the one that started this!!

That is a really cool mech.

Fillet use!

Jerky jerk man appears.

Pagoda!

Nezha fighting his dad!!!

Get them outta there Tangy!!

Do not yell at Nezha, he’s a good boy and he’s actually helpful. I didn’t see you anywhere when Azure was doing all this damage. (I kinda only know Li Jing in connection to Nezha’s myth so he could be a pretty cool dude elsewhere, but here he’s a jerk)

“We’re all gonna die!” Hugs Tang. Of the Freenoodle shippers noticed that.

MK where did you bring them?

Also calling it now, Nüwa has the last stone and she’s in the pagoda.

“I call dibs!!” Please give Mei her adventure. She’s going to go rabid without it.

MK’s smile and wave face!!

Sandy waving back!

Somebody get SWK some Tylenol or something for his headache please.

The guardian designs are all super cool.

Love the tiger specifically.

“Uhhh, no we don’t.”

I am not ready for the rest of this season.

SWK keeps forgetting the fillet.

Can someone PLEASE get him some Tylenol?

Mo!!

MK knows what he’s doing.

Pigsy jumped after him first!!!

If anything happens to Pigsy I will scream. (If anything happens to any of them I will scream.)

Li Jinh doesn’t find is suspicious at all they that JUMPED?!

Magic costume change!

“These are…prison jumpsuits?!”

You’d think they’d have one that fits Sandy at least. Poor guys barely fits in that jacket.

Also Mo keeps getting left out of the costume changes. Justice for Mo!

“Aww my shirt.” Well. There it goes.

MK being the smarty kid again. Good boy.

I wanna watch another episode now but I also wanna wait and hold off to make it last. Decisions!!

[sebsallowapologist]

Little Bird || Part 5

Sebastian Sallow x F!MC - 7th Year

Rated: 18+

Warnings:  cursing, being overworked, exiling yourself from your friends. 

Author’s Note: it has come to my attention while re-playing the game that I’ve been spelling Garreth wrong, in my defense autocorrect also thinks its “Gareth” so I feel like I should have a pass.

Little Bird Masterlist

I took my sweet time getting ready that morning, brushing my hair and teeth meticulously before putting on my robes and leaving for breakfast. I’d hoped that by dragging my feet the dining hall would be mostly empty and I could just swipe a few things before going to class. 

Of course - I was not that lucky, Sebastian was standing outside of the Ravenclaw dormitories, leaning against the wall, his arms crossed in front of his chest. 

When he sees me talk out the door he stands up straight, moving his bag filled with his school supplies to his other shoulder. “I was beginning to worry I’d missed you.”

“Running late.” I mumble, not completely over the fight we’d had the evening before. 

Sebastian easily keeps up with me as we walk down the stairs, “I needed to apologize.” He says and I blush, “I was the one who set the Undercroft on fire.” I sigh, embarrassed by my outburst. 

“I deserved it. I had been pushing you too hard and I shouldn’t have done that.” He says, grabbing my arm so we stop walking down the stairs and he can turn to face me. “I’m sorry, Bird.” He says and pulls me into his chest, wrapping his arms around me tightly. “I hate when we fight.”

Fighting seems to be the only thing I’m good at lately. 

I want to give in, just squeeze him around the middle as tightly as I can and say it’s all water under the bridge, but his face last night, the pure fear in his features was burned into my brain. I’d never forget it. 

“Sebastian.” I sigh and pull back. “I just. I’m running late, okay?”

“No.”

“What?” 

“I said no, it’s not okay. It’s not going to be okay until I’ve made up with my best friend.” God he’s so fucking stubborn. 

“We’ve made up, Seb. We’re fine. I just really am running late today.” I lie. “I told Professor Weasley I would meet her before lessons started today and I’m afraid won’t make it in time.” 

“O-Oh.” He says, not really able to argue with that, even though I can tell he doesn’t fully believe it. I don’t often lie to him, and it’s making me feel a little sick.

“Maybe we can have lunch? Or do a dinner with the little beasties, yeah? Ominis hasn’t been bothered by the Nifflers in some time. I think we could go for a laugh.” He suggests, pulling at threads.

“Yeah.” I give a half hearted smile. “Maybe we’ll do dinner.” With that as my farewell I turn and start taking the stairs as quickly as I can without breaking out into a full run, and head to a floo flame. 

To make myself into less of a liar I do go toward Professor Weasley’s classroom. Ever since Fig had died my fifth year, she’d become my confidant. She’d been a tremendous help my sixth year when I was stressed out about school, about trying to rebuild my friendships after everything. 

I slip into her classroom and move to the back, knocking on the door. No one was waiting in the room so I assume she didn’t have a class this period. 

She calls for me to come in and I crack open the door, walking into her pristine office. She was always so put together in my eyes, well for someone who was practically running the school without the title of headmaster. “Good Morning, Professor.” I smile lightly at her and she gestures to the little sitting area sitting by a window. “How nice to see you, how has your term been so far?”

I felt the immediate urge to lie, to tell her that everything was alright, that my year was going beautifully. I didn’t want her to think I was failing, but at this point I wasn’t sure what much of an option I had. 

As soon as I opened my mouth the floodgates broke. I told her about me struggling in lessons, about not being able to contain my magic, or stop myself from fighting with my friends. My the end I had fully lost control of my emotions and I was just sobbing into the sleeve of my robes. 

“Oh deary.” She sighs and comes around to sit on the same couch as me, putting her hand around my shoulders and rubbing my arm comfortably. “And on top of all of it.” I sob. “I’ve got bloody boy problems.”

She lets out a laugh that breaks me from my train of thought. “I know it seems silly, given the rest of it, but really these boys are driving me mad.” I giggle a little, wiping the tears off my face, taking deep breaths to calm down. 

“I’m sorry to break it to you, but they never get better.” Professor Weasley smiles. “I didn’t think so.” I sigh. 

“Does one of these mad boys happen to be my nephew?” 

I blush, answering her question for her. “I can tell him to leave you alone if you wish.” She smiles kindly and I shake my head. “No! No- I think he’s actually quite... charming.” God was this awkward to talk about with his aunt. “But-”

“The Sallow boy?” She asks and my mouth drops open, I’m sure I look like a fish out of water. “How did you know that?!”

“As much as we try to act above it all the teachers do talk. We all thought you were...” She trails off and I shrug. “He doesn’t like me like that, and... he knows about my magic how I don’t always... act normally. It scares the Jesus out of him.” I sigh, “I can’t blame him.”

“I doubt that.” She sighs. I shake my head and stand up, looking at the time piece on her desk. I was already 5 minutes late for Charms. 

I wipe my face once more. “Thank you... for speaking with me.” I sigh, I don’t know fi I felt any better, but it was nice to get off my chest. 

The Professor waves her hand and a quill floats up, writing a note on a piece of parchment. “I don’t know how much I can help in the boy department, but let me know if you need help with any lessons, I’m always here. And I’m going to start looking for someone who might be able to help you with that ancient magic.” The note floats over to me and I grab it out of the air, just a pass for being late to class. 

I nod, thanking her once more before heading off to Charms. 

When I get to my class I slip the paper on the Professor’s desk and slip into my seat next to Ominis, Sebastian on his other side. I open my books and Sebastian leans over our friend. “You’ve been crying.”

I ignore him, now was neither the time nor place for this. “Bird talk to me.” He begs, leaning closer to Ominis. “Bird ple-”

“Sebastian I am trying to pay attention to this lesson can you PLEASE stop pretending I don’t exist.” Ominis groans, maybe a touch too loudly. 

“Sallow, Gaunt. Am I boring you?” The Professor asks, the entire class turning to look at us three. I try to hide my red, puffy face from the prying eyes. 

“No, sir.” The two answer at the same time. 

“Five points from Slytherin, more if you continue to ignore my lesson.” He scoffs and turns back to instructing the class. 

Thankfully, Sebastian drops it.

_________

taglist: @stuffyownswrld​ @findingtruenorth23 @flowered-bicycles @lumiiiiiiiiii

[marylily-my-beloved]

(forgive me I have only watched the english dub on netflix, ik im part of the annoying people)

A glitter force au, for the marauder era girls (idk their name thingy, sorry.)

Like I can just imagine it, Pandora as Glitter Lucky/Emily 100%, they have the same vibes, and the same whimsical energy, and also while Glitter Lucky is rlly clumsy, she's smart and would proabbly die bc of a failed something she tried to do don't even lie.

Marlene as Glitter Sunny/Kelesy because they're both sporty, and they're both really energetic, and also orange is so her colour (fight me on this /j).

Glitter Peace would sooo be Mary, bc they give off those ~vibes~ and the fact that Mary didn't rlly wanna fight bc it might hurt her friends, and then decided not to?? Like so Glitter Peace. Also Mary is yellow. That is my ted talk yuh

Glitter Spring, is … hear me out y’all … I feel like she is such a Dorcas, cause she's so strong willed, and they both give off green? (in a good way ofc), i also feel like this bc the way April/Glitter Spring acts in the series it shows how powerful she is, and how like she would do a lot for her friends.

Last Glitter person is... Glitter Breeze!! Glitter Breeze is calm and collected and does a lot of stuff, and has a personality rlly rlly rlly close to Lily. The way she is when we see her in school kind of matches up with Lily a lot. I also feel like Lily would rlly like blue, and also lily would so be kind of a leader and helps people + also does everything herself (am i projecting? maybe...)

NOW ONTO THE VILLIANS YIPPIE !!! (am I too happy for this? yes. do i care? no)

Ok so that witch girl? BROOHA BROOHA, I LOVE HER OMG. She gives off Alice vibes?? (plz bear with me) My reasoning for this is that like Brooha (help it autocorrected brooha to Brookhaven? I’ve never wrote that…) isn’t really that evil (am I lying maybe…) and also she works rlly hard and also also, she’s rlly good at messing with ppl? And also I just rlly wanted to add Alice in + they both give me hardworking vibes Wolf guy Ulric feels like he could easily be (pls don't kill me yall) Narcissa, because he thinks a lot, and also (personally) is like the good middle between Brooha and Brute. I also feel like this bc Narcissa would go banger in his outfit ngl. And also not only the vibes, but the way he talks? If that makes sense? And also I know this is in no accurate sorry abt that

Brute is (and again hear me out guyssssss) Bellatrix even though Bellatrix is acc rlly smart, and this is because Brute is always jumping into action like Bellatrix, and also I rlly feel like the way he acts and how he really doesn’t give half a shit about the Glitter Force living or dying unlike the others is really how Bellatrix would be/how she is

thank you for coming to my super long ramble abt AUs

[rey-jake-therapist]

Elementary fandom vs other fandoms

A while ago I posted about Elementary after I watched a couple of episodes to say I didn't like it. I was just fresh out of watching the four seasons of the BBC Sherlock and it just didn't feel right, I didn't like it at all.

Finally, because I was too lazy to look for another show to watch, I kept watching and now, I'm at season 7 😅 Did my mind fundamentally change? Honestly, no. BBC Sherlock will always be superior to me, I don't care it's trendy to hate it now. I do like Elementary now, though. Sherlock and Joan (well especially Joan) have grown on me. I still think Elementary lacks originality, I find the structure of the episodes too rigid, there are way too many episodes, things in the global story I really don't like. The copaganda for example, urgh... There's a lot of screen time dedicated to the cops and how good and honest and united they are. There are some bad apples but we're really supposed to believe that they're *rare*.... And I love Marcus Bell and Captain Gregson but they're so smart you even wonder why they need Sherlock in the first place 😂 But there are things I really love too: Joan being more than a sidekick to Sherlock is one of them. She has agency, he trains her, respects her.... I must say, it's pleasant to see. Also I love seeing Sherlock being a mentor. That's what he should be, really...

Another thing this show did for me was to convince me to read the ACD canon books. I read a couple of them when I was a teen but I was more a Hector Poirot girlie - EDIT: damn autocorrect! his name's Hercule of course). I know for a fact that Elementary Sherlock is closer to the book that BBC Sherlock, and the show makes multiple references to the ACD canon but I'm unable to identify most of them, which probably influences my reaction to the show. I need to read the books and watch the show again :)

So, it's a fine detective show, a feel good show as well because the morals is always good, characters given a second chance when they mess up, bad guys punished as they should.... Johnny Lee Miller does a fine job at showing the character's complex personality, and his partnership with Lucy Liu is flawless :) They're just adorable together. They totally remind me of Mulder and Scully, but without the unbearable sexual tension, which is why I spent 6 seasons 1/2 being fine with the fact that they wouldn't end up together as a couple.

I wish I had known the fandom when the show was broadcasting, because I haven't heard of any fit of rage when Joan and Sherlock didn't become canon?? And yet lmao, at least 70% of their interactions is romance-coded. Like, if JohnLock shippers think they were baited, Sherlock and Joan shippers were baited much, much more. Seriously, there's even a declaration of LOVE. When Sherlock has to run away to London, Joan follows him there!! They're completely co-dependant, all their attempt to have romantic relationships with other people fail... At some point Joan needs to go her own way and Sherlock respect that.

They take care of each other, all the time. If one is in danger, the other becomes feral. Sherlock especially would do everything to protect Joan from getting harm, and surely so would she. There are so many moments that could be confused with jealousy/possessiveness, so many sweet speeches that probably made the shippers think, "no way this is platonic!" .

Not me, though, because I believe in platonic love, always did, and that's what Sherlock's story was always about: a strong, unbreakable bond between two people who love each other but don't need to have sex to feel or express it. I say they remind me of Mulder and Scully because in both cases, it didn't have to become a romance. I shipped Mulder and Scully, yes, but for years I was quite certain that they woud never become romantic and I was fine with that. What they had was already beautiful.

And frankly, Joan and Sherlock's friendship higlights everything that's wrong with Sherlock and John's in the BBC show. It's a balanced relationship! they didn't have to become a romance because they're a perfect friendship, but if they did it would be ok, because it would not be toxic. Joan never beat Sherlock up, for a start. She never slaps him, they never insult each other. Sherlock is sometimes a prick to her but he always comes around because he respects her a lot. There's nothing in their interactions that makes me think, "wow, if they were a couple that would be so fucked up!", while, sorry but I had this thought about John and Sherlock a dozen of times, especially during season 4 but even before that.

So if I'm not wrong and shippers were cool with the ending, well... kudos guys.

@tickldpnk8

[valentinesparda]

tried to type 128 and failed. ig there is one thing to.know about me it is that i cannot type

but if u wanna do 128 too :3c (u donr have to but!!!) -@kiss-alien

@kiss-alien fair enough !! if i didn't have autocorrect turned on for my ease i would be in the same boat lol

128 is bunji from gungrave :3 !!

I am still working out the lore details for my insert roz because I haven't gotten much further in the anime to Fully understand the Universe and bunji himself but i do know i want to be his friend....mayhaps something more that is vaguely unexplainable lol.

probably the child of a private detective who winds up getting killed for simultaneously getting too involved in and refusing to join hands with the organization, leaving roz to be likely held captive by millenion until they can prove themself useful. I think they like to cause problems and don't want to be there, come into contact with most of the main cast and are figuratively "adopted" by big daddy. my insert was going to be a boring human but even the primary 'human' character winds up being injected with SEED so you know what. maybe my insert deserves to become a deadman as well, mostly because harry thinks that they would be a good first experiment out of spite against big daddy

fuckin anyways. how we vibing with bodyguard to the boss's protoge to friends to weird undefined relationship to deadmen to reincarnated and we both hate what we have become, like no matter what happens between the two of them they still get stuck with eachother and had always been between hating each other and enjoying eachothers company, except bunji becomes more and more openly jaded about his existence and each time he is reincarnated is another nail in the coffin (hah) versus roz who does their best to not face death again until they are given a reason to fight (seeing their friend brandon again, even if he isn't really brandon anymore, and mika being their psuedo-sister), and even though bunji tries to push them away he cant seem to forever

man bunji wasn't even supposed to be a main f/o but i think he's crawling up the ranks simply because i'm a sucker for man angry at the world for making him worse than he was and there's no helping him so he just waits to Die

[phantomlemon348]

Sort of like a challenge thing, but it's just really random and silly. I just thought of this while bouncing around in a circle singing 'Money Money Money' so don't expect it to be anything sane.

Use this link: https://randomwordgenerator.com/sentence.php

To generate a sentence and then, like I did before, jump in a circle until you think you wrote the sentence twice. Autocorrect is allowed to be on. Do not edit any of what you wrote afterwards.

Alright, mate first of all are you sure you've had enough sleep?

Second of all of course I'll give it a go... in a sec... I don't want to get up right now though so maybe later.

Well...

My correct sentence is as follows: I received a heavy fine but it failed to crush my spirit.

And my attempt is this:

Itecievws a heavy fine but it failed to crush my spirit. I received a heavy fine but failed to crush my spirit.

Wow, my autocorrect did a good job there. I'm surprised, the dog was looking at me like I'd gone bonkers and thought I was playing.