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iloveavatar · 2 years ago

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deja vu

neteyam x fem!reader

in which the things neytiri hears from y/n and neteyam makes her have deja vu…

neytiri is fiercely walking towards her eldest son after hearing he took the blame his younger brother again,when she hears that y/n has beaten her to the scolding of neteyam. her ears twitch as she picks up on a familiar saying that leaves y/n’s mouth.

“you’re like a baby! making noise, don’t know what to do!” she stated as she lightly hits the side of his head.

neteyam gently scoffs in annoyance.

neytiri watches the scene play out from afar with a small smile on her face. she realizes that neteyam and y/n are much more alike to her and her jake than she had thought.

“don’t hiss at me! you’re the one that got yourself in trouble in the first place. and thinking you could come here, without getting scolded was stupid. you’re stupid neteyam.” she angrily expressed towards him.

“i don’t see why you care so much. it doesn’t affect you in any way.” he said as he turns his head to direct his eyes to the ground.

y/n’s ear twitches as he says that. a small growl leaving her throat as she turns around with her eyes wide. she makes slow intimidating steps towards him.

‘oh shit’ he thought.

neteyam slowly took small steps back to avoid her wrath.

neytiri saw the look on y/n’s face and slowly moved in toward the two teens to protect her son. however she stopped when she witnessed the next thing.

“why do i care for you? why do i care so much huh? well maybe, because the moron i like keeps getting himself in trouble!” she slightly yelled

neteyams eye grew wide at her statement. ‘she likes me?’ he thought.

neytiri’s eyes widen as well at the confession. she slowly backed away, sensing the two needed this moment alone. she silently turned around and started heading towards her jake to tell him his eldest son might have potentially found someone to keep an eye on him.

y/n kept going on with her rant. her arms flailing around, trying to explain to neteyam how she felt.

“… and if you think for one second, that i won’t scold you for acting so irrationally, you’re dead wrong!” she yelled as she continued to rant.

neteyam wasn’t listening to a single word she was saying. except he was paying more attention as to how she was so expressive while trying to explain her feelings to him. he had this soft look in his eyes that he had only seen his father give to his mother. if he knew that he got to see y/n’s face like this up close, he would definitely try to get in trouble more often. but he doesn’t want to admit that out loud.

y/n slowly stopped her rant as her breath was uneven due to all of the yelling she had just done. she made eye contact with neteyam and realized that everything she said went in his one ear, and out the other.

she sighed and looked at the ground in exasperation.

neteyam gently moved towards her and lifted her head towards him. he slowly leaned in to the point where his breath fanned her lips.

neither of them wanted to move. they wanted to stay in this position to savor the moment. to memorize every detail of each others face.

“please don’t slap me again for saying this.. but when you tell me how worried you are for me, it makes me realize that i only worry you for a specific reason..” he started to say.

“and that reason would be?” she questioned.

“that I see you” he answered softly. almost as if he spoke any louder she would turn into dust and float away.

her eyes pointed up as a giant grin broke out onto her face. she then grasped his jaw and finally closed the space in between the two.

the kiss they shared had many hidden emotions that have been bottled up for so long,finally spill out and reveal themselves. this moment was where the two finally understood how the other felt. they continued the kiss until they broke away for air.

slightly panting neteyam says “we should head back before my mother finds us and tries to send me to meet eywa”

y/n softly laughs and grabs his hand. she starts to lead the way back home. where the two could finally start a relationship. a relationship where they can understand each other.

as they walk back, neteyam catches sight of neytiri waiting for them. he slightly avoids eye contact in fear of getting punished.

neytiri stares at them for a few seconds before a small smile breaks out on her face. she slowly turns around and heads back to where she had originally emerged from.

neteyam takes this as a good sign and realizes that he might’ve found the neytiri to his jake.

as the two teens continue to walk. neytiri is back inside their home, realizing that her and her jake fell in love almost the exact same way. the two teens gave her a sense of deja vu to when her and jake had met. she would accept y/n if she was the one neteyam chose. in fact, she wants neteyam to choose her.

to think that she witnessed something that was very similar to her own love life.

“hm, eywa must be giving me deja vu to tell me about their possible relationship on the way” she thought

and from that moment onward, the two teens formed a beautiful relationship that neytiri and jake accept, since the two remind them of themselves.

MERRY CHRISTMAS (to those that celebrate it) !!once again, i have no idea what i’m doing i’m just hoping it turns out ok! pls let me know if you want certain type of stories or something! writing is kinda fun LMFAOOO ~S

#neteyam x reader #neteyam #avatar #avatar x reader #iloveavatar

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hollowed-theory-hall · 7 months ago

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Why I don't think Harry actually likes Ginny

So, I don't like Hinny. I don't buy the relationship between them for multiple reasons. The first of which is that I believe Harry Potter is gay (or at least, not attracted to women).

The rest, I'm going to cover here. Some of the opinions I have are probably not very popular, but I'm saying what I see evidence for.

Disclaimer: No hate to anyone who does ship Hinny, or likes Ginny, I just don't see it.

He doesn't actually think about her until book 6... like, at all

The most important part of this section is actually what Hary doesn't say about Ginny and not what he does, so I don't have quotes. But I literally scoured the books to find scenes Harry described Ginny's appearance. I looked for words like: "pretty", "beautiful", "attractive", or anything else, really any detailed description that would show he is physically attracted to her. I came out with nothing.

He never calls her pretty or attractive in all seven books. And I mentioned in my post here, how Harry can and does describe attractiveness in people (men) he finds attractive.

The other thing he never mentions is what he likes about Ginny. Like, her personality.

He says he likes her, and he's jealous when she's with Dean in HBP (only halfway through the book, but that's for later in this post), but he never mentions what he likes about her. Ginny talks about why she likes Harry plenty, but Harry seems to have no clue why he's dating Ginny. He supposedly likes her, but doesn't name in his head a single thing he likes about her as a person. The things he does think he likes about her are:

She is comfortable to be around, the same way Ron and Hermoine are.

She doesn't weep like Cho.

She's good at Quidditch.

So that's a brilliant basis for a relationship right there. (sarcasm)

“Harry, I’m talking to you, can you hear me?” “Huh?” He looked around. Ginny Weasley, looking very windswept, had joined him at the library table where he had been sitting alone. It was late on Sunday evening; Hermione had gone back to Gryffindor Tower to review Ancient Runes; Ron had Quidditch practice.

(Order of the Pheonix, page 655)

Ginny approaches him, but nothing, no response, no care. He didn't even notice she was there. Takes him, like, three minutes to recall she's on the Quidditch team and should be at practice with Ron. And when she does talk to him, he actually doesn't explain the full truth. He never actually tells her the full scope of his problems and feelings.

“Hi,” said Ginny uncertainly. “We recognized Harry’s voice — what are you yelling about?” “Never you mind,” said Harry roughly. Ginny raised her eyebrows. “There’s no need to take that tone with me,” she said coolly. “I was only wondering whether I could help.” “Well, you can’t,” said Harry shortly. “You’re being rather rude, you know,” said Luna serenely. Harry swore and turned away. The very last thing he wanted now was a conversation with Luna Lovegood.

(Order of the Pheonix, page 735)

Later in the same book, Harry is downright rude to Ginny, and he's sure Sirius is being tortured at the moment, so I get it. But, also, the fact he reacts more to Luna telling him he's rude than to Ginny... like, that's telling on which of the two girls' opinions Harry cares more. And it's not Ginny. After Luna calls him out, he actually stops snapping at them. With Ginny, he just continued being snappy and rude to her.

“Michael — but —” said Ron, craning around in his seat to stare at her. “But you were going out with him!” “Not anymore,” said Ginny resolutely. “He didn’t like Gryffindor beating Ravenclaw at Quidditch and got really sulky, so I ditched him and he ran off to comfort Cho instead.” She scratched her nose absently with the end of her quill, turned The Quibbler upside down, and began marking her answers. Ron looked highly delighted. “Well, I always thought he was a bit of an idiot,” he said, prodding his queen forward toward Harry’s quivering castle. “Good for you. Just choose someone — better — next time.” He cast Harry an oddly furtive look as he said it. “Well, I’ve chosen Dean Thomas, would you say he’s better?” asked Ginny vaguely. “WHAT?” shouted Ron, upending the chessboard. Crookshanks went plunging after the pieces and Hedwig and Pigwidgeon twittered and hooted angrily from overhead. As the train slowed down in the approach to King’s Cross, Harry thought he had never wanted to leave it less. He even wondered fleetingly what would happen if he simply refused to get off, but remained stubbornly sitting there until the first of September, when it would take him back to Hogwarts.

(Order of the Pheonix, page 866)

Some like to say Hinny didn't come out of nowhere, but it did. It's clear that at the end of book 5 Harry doesn't give a shit who Ginny is dating. He's thinking about Sirius, he's mourning, of course, but he is still mourning him in book 6 and it didn't stop his jealous rage towards Dean then.

The fact is, up until like halfway through book 6 there are no signs he is interested in Ginny romanticly.

“Fancy trying to find a compartment?” “I can’t, Harry, I said I’d meet Dean,” said Ginny brightly. “See you later.” “Right,” said Harry. He felt a strange twinge of annoyance as she walked away, her long red hair dancing behind her; he had become so used to her presence over the summer that he had almost forgotten that Ginny did not hang around with him, Ron, and Hermione while at school. Then he blinked and looked around: He was surrounded by mesmerized girls.

(Half-Blood Prince, page 136)

Two notes here.

Firstly, this is at the beginning of HBP, still no signs from Harry of jealousy. He likes Ginny as a friend and gets used to her presence. That is literally what their relationship is built on. Him being used to her presence. Still, he doesn't care in the slightest who she is dating.

Secondly, what follows this scene is Harry running away from all his adoring fangirls with the help of Neville. Because Harry is not attracted to women and is not interested in any of their attention.

Harry told Ron and Hermione, pulling open the parchment and quickly reading its contents [note from Dumbledore]. “Monday evening!” He felt suddenly light and happy. “Want to join us in Hogsmeade, Ginny?” he asked. “I’m going with Dean — might see you there,” she replied, waving at them as she left.

(Half-Blood Prince, page 242)

Again, no jealousy. His entire problem with Dean and Ginny dating started really late into book 6 and there was basically no buildup.

Dean was looking embarrassed. He gave Harry a shifty grin that Harry did not return, as the newborn monster inside him was roaring for Dean’s instant dismissal from the team.

(Half-Blood Prince, page 287)

Now, I wanna talk a little bit about Harry's jealousy towards Dean and how he describes his emotions about Ginny. Ginny is the only character he describes his emotions about in this way. And it's... well, weird to say the least. Definitely off. The first time I read it I had to reread it to make sure I actually read it correctly.

Like, the only times he thinks about his emotions towards Ginny, are in jealousy. He doesn't like when other guys date her, but he never really thinks that he likes her, or what he likes about her. Or anything at all, positive or negative.

And, back to the description being odd, well, I'll get to it later in this post about why I think Harry convinced himself he likes Ginny and why his emotions about her are described the way they are.

Harry looked around; there was Ginny running toward him; she had a hard, blazing look in her face as she threw her arms around him. And without thinking, without planning it, without worrying about the fact that fifty people were watching, Harry kissed her.

...

The creature in his chest roaring in triumph, he grinned down at Ginny and gestured wordlessly out of the portrait hole. A long walk in the grounds seemed indicated, during which — if they had time — they might discuss the match.

(Half-Blood Prince, pages 533-534)

I want to talk about Harry's feelings regarding Ginny and kissing her, or, well, lack of their off. You know, after a first kiss, with a girl he supposedly likes, I expected something more emotional, more involved. I expect him to actually care.

But no. He doesn't describe the kiss at all actually, or his feelings. There are no butterflies in his stomach, no head spinning, nothing. Just his chest monster feeling triumphant.

This is insane, this is not the reaction to kissing someone you like. Or even feel mildly attracted to. Where are the nerves and excitement? They aren't there.

He had more emotions about his first kiss with Cho. They weren't positive emotions, but these were emotions.

The second thing about their first kiss is how the text pretty clearly insinuates they made out throughout their whole walk. This actually reminds me a lot of Ron and Lavender in book 6:

“Well, think back,” said Harry. “Have you ever let it slip that you’d like to go out in public with the words ‘My Sweetheart’ round your neck?” “Well . . . we don’t really talk much,” said Ron. “It’s mainly . . .” “Snogging,” said Harry. “Well, yeah,” said Ron.

(Half-Blood Prince, page 338)

They don't really have much of a relationship. They make out, but they don't talk, they don't share anything with each other, they don't really like each other — they barely know each other.

Harry and Ginny are much the same. Ginny is in love with the idea of Harry Potter, and Harry for some reason decideded he likes Ginny even though he can't name a single personality trait she possesses.

“And then what does she think’s going to happen?” Harry muttered. “Someone else might kill off Voldemort while she’s holding us here making vol-auvents?” He had spoken without thinking, and saw Ginny’s face whiten. “So it’s true?” She said, “That’s what you’re trying to do?” “I—not—I was joking,” said Harry evasively. They stared at each other, and there was something more than shock in Ginny’s expression. Suddenly Harry became aware that this was the first time that he had been alone with her since their stolen hours in secluded corners of the Hogwarts grounds. He was sure she was remembering them too. Both of them jumped as the door opened, and Mr. Weasley, Kingsley, and Bill walked in.

(Deathly Hollows, page 82)

Like, there is quite a bit I want to unpack here.

Firstly, Harry didn't bother telling Ginny that he, Ron, and Hermione were planning on leaving. That they are going to go and stop Voldemort. Well, he didn't tell her about the Horcruxes, or any of his experiences, really. I don't think she knows he cast a Crocio at Bellatrix at the end of fifth year.

Like, Harry does not share his life with Ginny. At all. Her reaction is quite telling.

But also, even after he broke up with her already at the end of HBP. Still, Ginny is constantly trying to drag him back to be with her. She isn't letting Harry break up with her. And, that just really doesn't sit well with me. Harry didn't even consider it until he saw how Ginny was eying him, she's the one who thought they should make out. Harry was trying to stay broken up with her.

Ginny looked up into Harry’s face, took a deep breath, and said, “Happy seventeenth.” “Yeah. . . thanks.” She was looking at him steadily; he, however, found it difficult to look back at her; it was like gazing into a brilliant light.

...

He chanced a glance at her. She was not tearful; that was one of the many wonderful things about Ginny, she was rarely weepy. He had sometimes thought that having six brothers must have toughened her up.

(Deathly Hollows, page 103)

Again, after Harry breaks up with her, she tries to drag him back. He doesn't want to look at her. And as romantic as "gazing into a brilliant light" sounds, usually doing that hurts your eyes and is really not something you want to do. Besides, when you really like someone, you want to look at them, you want to stare at their stupid face for as long as they let you.

Harry clearly doesn't.

The other thing to note about this passage is the wonderful thing Harry can name about Ginny, is that she never cries. Yes, amazing reason to date someone, Harry.

However, Ron did not appear on the map, and after a while Harry found himself taking it out simply to stare at Ginny’s name in the girls’ dormitory, wondering whether the intensity with which he gazed at it might break into her sleep, that she would somehow know he was thinking about her, hoping that she was all right.

(Deathly Hollows, page 270)

Even when pulling out the Marauder’s Map to watch her dot Harry's thoughts are just to make sure she's alright, the same reason he watches out for Ron on the map after he leaves them. Hoping to see he's alright. Harry would do it to any friend he felt strongly about, it's not just Ginny. She doesn't get special treatment in his mind.

Ginny Clearly likes him though, quite obsessively so, even as they grow older...

Ginny made it no secret she liked Harry in her first year with the Valentine's Day poem. The thing is, she never really stopped liking him, she didn't move on from that childhood crush. Quite the opposite actually.

“I never really gave up on you,” she said. “Not really. I always hoped. . . . Hermione told me to get on with life, maybe go out with some other people, relax a bit around you, because I never used to be able to talk if you were in the room, remember? And she thought you might take a bit more notice if I was a bit more — myself.” “Smart girl, that Hermione,” said Harry, trying to smile. “I just wish I’d asked you sooner. We could’ve had ages . . . months . . . years maybe. . . .” “But you’ve been too busy saving the Wizarding world,” said Ginny, half laughing. “Well . . . I can’t say I’m surprised. I knew this would happen in the end. I knew you wouldn’t be happy unless you were hunting Voldemort. Maybe that’s why I like you so much.”

(Half-Blood Prince, page 647)

Ginny says at the top of this quote something I already talked about, but I'll say it again. She never gave up on Harry, she thinks them ending up together is fate. And she dated other guys throughout her fourth and fifth year to get Harry to notice her.

That is so gross, I don't even know where to start. I mean, she used a bunch of random guys, who all liked her, only to get Harry. She didn't care about their feelings, or these guys as real human beings, just that they could help her get Harry. And that is awful and one of the reasons I dislike Ginny.

The second part I bolded is Ginny explaining again, that she knew she and Harry were fated — this isn't romantic, this is terrifying and paints all her previous relationships in a really bad light.

She also mentions there she likes Harry, and that she likes that he's this saviour who needs to hunt down Voldemort. Now, first, she is clearly in love with the idea of the Boy-Who-Lived, and not Harry himself, because what she likes about him is his nobility and savior complex. Not just here, but in general.

While Harry definitely is heroic, he is also cunning, and clever, has some serious anger management issues, and isn't as noble as Ginny likes to paint him as. I feel like, here, when she says what she likes about him, she doesn't really know him. Harry doesn't want to hunt down Voldemort, he feels it's his responsibility. He would've been happy to be able to live his life without them being threatened constantly.

His 'saving people thing' is because he considers endangering himself less bad than endangering someone else. That's his low self-esteem talking, not his thirst for adventure. That and his (honestly correct) conclusion that he can't count on the adults or other people to do what needs to be done. Also, his sense of responsibility due to the prophecy, which he didn't really tell Ginny about in full. the prophecy and Dumbledore made him feel Voldemort is his problem to solve. It's not that he's happy about it. Ginny is in love with an ideal, not with the actual Harry Potter.

(I'll get to Harry's words here later)

Ginny caught Harry’s eye and looked away quickly, grinning.

(Order of the Pheonix, page 848)

And when going back to Harry's fifth year, even then (while she technically has a boyfriend) she is trying to get Harry's attention and is flirting with him. Not that Harry notices it's flirting because he doesn't think of Ginny in that way.

But Ron held up a hand to silence her. “She was really cut up when you ended it—” “So was I. You know why I stopped it, and it wasn’t because I wanted to.” “Yeah, but you go snogging her now and she’s just going to get her hopes up again—” “She’s not an idiot, she knows it can’t happen, she’s not expecting us to—to end up married, or—”

(Deathly Hollows, page 104)

I mentioned it above, but Ginny is the one who dragged Harry to make out with her, it wasn't Harry who initiated it. She does this after Harry broke up with her, which... well... yeah. I mean, at least Harry was willing, right?

And Harry says she isn't thinking about marriage, but Ginny definitely is. Remember, she thinks they are fated to end up together.

Now, as to why Harry is dating her and thinks he likes her...

I think she might have used a love potion...

Now, I know, I know, honestly, this is a theory I doubted for a long time. I mean, there's no way.

But I'm rereading the books right now, and ehh... I think whoever came up with this might have been onto something. It's kind of creepy actually.

Mrs. Weasley was telling Hermione and Ginny about a love potion she’d made as a young girl. All three of them were rather giggly.

(Prisoner of Azkaban, page 70)

Love potions are a thing in the Wizarding World. They are legal to sell and use with no consequences. They are banned at Hogwarts, but we saw it doesn't mean much considering Romilda Vane snuck quite a bit in...

What I show in the above quote is how witches like Molly Weasly see love potions as a legitimate thing to giggle about. As if it isn't a horrifying rape drug that takes away someone's autonomy! Love potions aren't something to giggle about. And they're definitely not something to giggle about with two young girls...

But this is to explain, how to Ginny, who thinks she and Harry are meant to end up together, using a love potion would seem completely legitimate. It's a little, funny nudge, but it's not bad. Her mother used it, and so many other girls did too. Because it isn't treated as the horrifying thing it is. She grew up thinking of it as a legitimate measure to take if a boy you like doesn't notice you. A measure that she wouldn't be even punished for if it was found out.

Now, this is a long quote, but this is the one that made me even consider this theory as a possibility:

She hoisted a box wrapped in brown paper onto the table; it had clearly been unwrapped and carelessly rewrapped, and there was a scribbled note across it in red ink, reading inspected and passed by the hogwarts high inquisitor. “It’s Easter eggs from Mum,” said Ginny. “There’s one for you. . . . There you go. . . .” She handed him a handsome chocolate egg decorated with small, iced Snitches and, according to the packaging, containing a bag of Fizzing Whizbees. Harry looked at it for a moment, then, to his horror, felt a hard lump rise in his throat. “Are you okay, Harry?” asked Ginny quietly. “Yeah, I’m fine,” said Harry gruffly. The lump in his throat was painful. He did not understand why an Easter egg should have made him feel like this. “You seem really down lately,” Ginny persisted. “You know, I’m sure if you just talked to Cho . . .” “It’s not Cho I want to talk to,” said Harry brusquely. “Who is it, then?” asked Ginny. “I . . .” He glanced around to make quite sure that nobody was listening; Madam Pince was several shelves away, stamping out a pile of books for a frantic-looking Hannah Abbott. “I wish I could talk to Sirius,” he muttered. “But I know I can’t.” More to give himself something to do than because he really wanted any, Harry unwrapped his Easter egg, broke off a large bit, and put it into his mouth. “Well,” said Ginny slowly, helping herself to a bit of egg too, “if you really want to talk to Sirius, I expect we could think of a way to do it. . . .” “Come on,” said Harry hopelessly. “With Umbridge policing the fires and reading all our mail?” “The thing about growing up with Fred and George,” said Ginny thoughtfully, “is that you sort of start thinking anything’s possible if you’ve got enough nerve.” Harry looked at her. Perhaps it was the effect of the chocolate — Lupin had always advised eating some after encounters with dementors — or simply because he had finally spoken aloud the wish that had been burning inside him for a week, but he felt a bit more hopeful. . . .

(Order of the Pheonix, page 655)

Now, Harry, first, gets really weird about the Easter Egg. Why an Easter Egg would cause a lump in his throat, I have no idea. Maybe it smelled weird?

He didn't really want to eat the chocolate, he felt bad about it, which is again, very strange phrasing. especially as I think Harry's instincts are pretty decent, especially when it comes to potential danger. Ginny isn't mentioned eating from his chocolate, she's implied to be eating a different chocolate egg.

But the final section I bolded is the one I really want to talk about.

Harry didn't even notice Ginny approach him. Throughout this scene, he doesn't describe anything about her or his emotions for her. Then, he looks at her and feels more hopeful in a way he hasn't before, and he blames it on the chocolate. That's so incredibly strange.

So I read that, then read it again, and started thinking a love potion might be a possibility.

It'll explain why Harry thinks he likes Ginny and wants to make out with her, without once mentioning he finds her attractive, or that he even likes her personality. It'll also explain the weird way Harry describes his emotions for Ginny, his chest monster, that is. I mean, I believe Harry is gay, what do you think happens when you give a guy who literally can't find you attractive a love potion so he'd like you? He reacts weirdly. His like of you is off and unnatural and disconnected because he isn't affecting him the way it should.

Even when Ron was dosed with the love potion he could name things the potion made him like about Romilda:

“I love her,” repeated Ron breathlessly. “Have you seen her hair, it’s all black and shiny and silky . . . and her eyes? Her big dark eyes? And her —”

(Half-Blood Prince, page 392)

It's not like Ron could say what he liked about Romilda's personality though, he just knew he needed to be with her and she was perfect. This is frighteningly similar to how Harry thinks of Ginny.

Harry watches for Ginny on the map while traveling in Deathly Hollows. He's constantly drawn to her, but he doesn't have any actual feelings towards her. He wants to marry her but has no clue what her personality is like. He just thinks Ginny is great without knowing why.

Near the window was an array of violently pink products around which a cluster of excited girls was giggling enthusiastically. Hermione and Ginny both hung back, looking wary. “There you go,” said Fred proudly. “Best range of love potions you’ll find anywhere.” Ginny raised an eyebrow skeptically. “Do they work?” she asked. “Certainly they work, for up to twenty-four hours at a time depending on the weight of the boy in question —”

(Half-Blood Prince, page 120)

Now, after the above scene in book 5 which I believe is the first time Ginny tries to dose Harry with a love potion, Harry still isn't dating Ginny, as we all know. What do we see Ginny do early in book 6, the book in which they get together? Try to buy a love potion from Fred and George.

And more importantly, she asks them: "Do they work?"

Why would Ginny ask that if she hadn't already failed with a love potion before?

I think, Harry's not being attracted to women, does affect how love potions effect him and the dosages he will need to be fed. And Ginny clearly isn't giving up on Harry. She said so herself — they were fated.

“Hang on,” said a voice close by Harry’s left ear and he caught a sudden waft of that flowery smell he had picked up in Slughorn’s dungeon. He looked around and saw that Ginny had joined them. “Did I hear right? You’ve been taking orders from something someone wrote in a book, Harry?”

(Half-Blood Prince, page 192)

One of the only things Harry comments about in regarding Ginny is her smell. He only mentions it from year 6 and onwards.

Now, I know JKR intended it to imply Harry smelled Ginny in amortentia and that he's in love with her. The thing is, it could just as easily be read as a smell he associates with Ginny and the Burrow because she dosed him with a love potion already. So he is used to smelling amortentia around Ginny and the Burrow, not because he's in love with her, but because the potion is there.

“There’s the silver lining I’ve been looking for,” she whispered, and then she was kissing him as she had never kissed him before, and Harry was kissing her back, and it was blissful oblivion better than firewhisky; she was the only real thing in the world, Ginny, the feel of her, one hand at her back and one in her long, sweet-smelling hair—

(Deathly Hollows, page 103)

When she kisses him after he broke up with her and she's trying to get him back, he mentions the smell of her hair again. How the smell is actually affecting him.

With all the evidence towards Harry not liking women, and the fact he doesn't even find Ginny attractive, I just have a hard time believing this. How can he go from coldly not caring about her in one scene to going into blissful oblivion from the smell of her hair?

Unless there is some variant of a love potion he is getting dosed with.

(I don't think this is a very popular opinion, but there is just so much that's weird about Hinny, that I can't find any other way to explain it in canon)

#harry potter #harry potter thoughts #harry potter theory #hollowedtheory #hp #hp thoughts #harry james potter #anti ginny weasley #anti hinny #ginny weasley critical #ginny weasley #hp meta #harry potter meta #ship talk

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neverfilth · 3 months ago

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"Bloberta made Clay drink so-"

OKAY, BUT DO YOU KNOW WHY?

Let me explain

'Help'.

A very important word when describing Bloberta.

First, it is integral to understand that Bloberta feels torturously alone and unwanted. Her friends are all getting married while she has no one.

She isn't clever enough to help Censordoll.

Her own family leaves her out of the family choir.

And the only crumb of validation she is offered is from her mother.

“Why don't you help me out and… Clean your room?” Note even the slight pause her mother has, as if she doesn't even know what to do with Bloberta.

Next, we see her trudge to her room. And what does she hide under the covers of her bed?

A flask.

She turns to alcohol when she is confronted with how unwanted she is. But where did that draw to alcohol come from?

We know she comes from a home where she is ultimately ignored and seen as valueless by everyone except one person.

Her Father.

I have a lot of thoughts about Bloberta and Raymond's relationship (the one scene where they interact just UGH LIVES IN MY HEAD) but the main thing to get away from it is that she associates the act of drinking with her Father.

A man who, without alcohol, is unable to speak his mind at all. He drinks to better tolerate his situation and his wife, who clearly doesn't value his words or opinions.

But Bloberta is very receptive to her Father, she greatly values his company and his thoughts and she finds comfort in being around him. She feels like someone cares about her and values her even if she knows he can't change anything.

Notice that despite her desperation to speak with her father, to form that connection that would validate her, she can't even touch him because she knows doing so would break the frail connection they have currently. Her Father is so reserved that at this point, any unexpected emotional reach would immediately cause him to shut down and retreat. Demonstrated just by him closing up immediately after she told him she loved him.

So how does this affect Blobertas perception of alcohol?

Well she says it herself.

"I think it helps us to be better people".

This rationality was reinforced by the small acts of kindness her father would show her.

And we don't have any reason to believe she is lying about this because up until the night of the reception, she's experienced nothing that contradicts this belief.

Bloberta's reliance on alcohol can be seen as her reaching for a solution to her need to feel wanted. She knows she's left out, both by friends and family. But if she believes drinking can make you become a better person? Then of course she would drink, because maybe then someone will want her.

What does she say directly after that?

"My Father drinks.”

Further insinuating her belief that he is good and he is the main reason she sees alcohol as a positive force.

She thought it would genuinely help Clay.

There's that word again.

Importantly, notice her clear anxiety and tenseness in her beginning interactions with Clay. From her first question, their conversation began falling apart.

So what happened?

Just after the wedding, she was almost suave in the way she invited Clay to the reception.

Why was she so nervous now?

Well, in her eyes, this was her chance.

After an undisclosed time of having no luck she finally convinces a handsome single man to have some semblance of a date with her.

She NEEDS this to go well.

So she's obviously anxious and stressed, and that's showing, but she figures that some drinks will make it easier for both of them. She's full panicking because she feels it's just so normal to drink, especially socially, and she can't understand why he wouldn't drink. She has no frame of reference for that mindset.

Things are already awkward between them once they settle in, and its not getting better. So of course she is going to fall back on what makes things easier for her.

And initially things are looking up.

Suddenly Clay's more talkative, and more receptive to what she's saying.

He's complimenting her.

He says she helped him.

The one thing she wants more than anything is to feel useful, she wants to be able to fit into that role that everyone expects her to so that she can be of worth to someone.

She isn't worth it to her peers,

she isn't worth it to her family,

but she could be worth it to him.

This only reinforces her resolve.

This is it.

She is going to finally find her place to fit in, and everyone will welcome her with open arms as she finally finds her place in the role society has chosen for her.

But it's not that simple.

Things go south quickly, Clay doesn't want these things that Bloberta has to have.

But she needs them.

To Bloberta, those things are proof of your value. The value society, friends, and family place on you.

Who would she be if she couldn't attain that value?

We again recognize that Bloberta has a fixation on being helpful. Helpfulness is the clearest indication of one's value, after all.

After being turned away by Clay, she immediately returns to a default ‘helpful’ act, cleaning. Just like her mother would tell her to do. But this was still her only chance, and Clay had already told her she had helped him. If she could only help him again, then maybe she had a chance at the real value she craved.

Once her anger passes and Clay sobers up, she returns to him and paints herself as ‘helpful’ as possible. She's desperate for that validation again, and if he would agree to her help then everything would certainly be fine.

She is practically begging him, help becomes a plea for him to save her from the pain of her day to day.

She hopes more than anything he will accept her and make all her pain go away.

He does accept, but in exchange, her previous world view is shattered.

Drinks don't help you become a better person.

They just help your true nature come out.

#moral orel #bloberta puppington #bloberta hymentact #gotta go to bat for my girl here #long post

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kafkasmeow · 4 months ago

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GI. ꗃ For the Tsaritsa (I)

part 1 part 2 part 3 etc

3.1 k words ─ reaction! ─ wriothesley x reader ─ second pov! reader ─ angst and fluff ─ reader wears heels and a corset but that’s it ─ cryo / dendro ─ i usually don’t write toxic relationships but it made sense this time around

summary ─ their reaction to their partner being a fatui harbinger - including diluc, zhongli, xiao, kazuha, wriothesley ─ reaction, headcanon ─ vision and delusion wielder reader ─ use of unconventional weapons ─ gn reader (with small hiccups in editing)

disclaimer ─ this is a reaction headcanon, with strong mentions of death, injuries, blood and violence and profanities. some of the fics do not have happy endings and the reader is depicted as a villain, unreliable and is not meant to be liked. some of the imagines can be brutal, caution is adviced.

wriothesley

You and the fortress’ warden had met trough simple ways, much like he meets any other person that arrives there. As an inmate.

You arrived early one morning, dried blood still on your cheeks and clothes, with a dead stare in your eyes, one he knew far too well. Your presence alone prompted rumours over rumours, inmates fighting to get a glance as the guards paraded you trough the halls on your journey to your cell, and the shouts coaxed Wriothesley out of his study with a sleep-drunk expression on his face.

“Serial killer.” The guards explained quickly when he got close enough to see what the attraction was. “The Chief Justice didn’t even wish to have a trial. Sentenced to life the second he saw them.” But no one knew any more information to help him out, and while he rarely searched for reason in the Fortress of Meropide, he itched for answers.

He watched you carefully that day, as you were guided forward by the most skilled guards, with chains on your hands and head pushed down, as if your gaze alone would be deadly. You were barely any taller than half of him, standing on week knees that trembled with every step you took, and if it wasn’t for your dead eyes or the blood all over you, he would have wondered if you were really capable of harm.

No one wanted to talk more about the situation behind your imprisonment, at least not for long. They all gritted their teeth and shook their heads when he asked, like even thinking about you would be a death sentence to them, and when he summoned for all records of your actions, he found only a bunch of redacted documents. All he could gather, trough bits and pieces, is that your presence here needed to be kept under wraps for a reason or another, and the scene the police stumbled upon your arrest.

“It was a bloodbath, your grace.” Clorinde told him once as she came to him for an errand from the Iudex. She seemed off, even her emotionless eyes were filled with some degree of fear in them. “I’m no stranger to death but this,” She cleared her throat and chose to cut their chat short, settling on a warning. Something smelled fishy, he would conclude, but this was not his first rodeo with difficult cases, and yours didn’t take long to crack.

“Keep an eye on them.” And he did, but perhaps not in a way she would approve of. Wriothesley found himself colliding with you every single step he took outside of his study then on, and never under intentional circumstances.

The first time it happened, you were simply eating at the canteen when chaos broke loose. He had barely exited his office, just in time to see one of the inmates throw his plate at you in challenge. “You filthy rat! How dare you-” The warden watched bewildered as guards jumped from their place, taking the man away and you simply sat there, like nothing happened. Food dripped down your clothes and face, but you simply brought your spoon to your mouth and ate quietly without complaining. All the while dark and hostile eyes watched you from every corner of the hall, and your own where chaining Wriothesley’s feet to the ground he stood on with something akin fear.

The second time you met was in the infirmary. Sigewinne had your bloody knuckles in her tiny hands with bandages cradled in her lap and alcohol stained cotton agains your open cuts. The first thing Wriothesley noticed then was the bruised corner of your lips, your bleeding nose and the open cuts on your cheeks. His heart stopped beating for a second, a disbelieving puff leaving his nose. You were so much trouble already, just by your existence in his prison, and now you were causing problems yourself?

His nurse, however, had pity in her eyes. She tutted. “I can’t stand having to bandage you up every single day. They keep trying to snuff them up, your grace! This poor soul.” She protested, and that was the first time he ever heard your voice. “It’s quite alright, miss.” Your face stayed cold, but there was kindness in your eyes, and your voice was far softer than he thought it’d be. And he couldn’t help but sit with the two of you, pushing Sigewinne’s buttons until he had every single name of the ones that tried to “snuff” you out.

It was much later that he found out what had happened exactly, and why people were so, so hostile towards you. After a couple of weeks of sitting with you and Sigewinne in the infirmary, he couldn’t handle the stress any longer.

Wriothesley had you sitting in his office with a calming rose tea settled on the table in front. The sweet smell made your shoulders ease and you begun wondering if he would have really done so much for you if you were called in for some troubles you caused. His soft eyes, however, reassured you, and you took the delicate mug to your lips. Wriothesley didn’t say much afterwards. He simply called you in the morning and had you sit with him, giving you a book to read or a pile of paper to sort trough, and never talked to you a word more. He was protecting you, you realised. From the other prisoners, who were still hungry for blood, even as you left your chamber straight thing in the morning and returned late night.

Little did the ice duke know, it was the inmates he was doing a favour to.

With each day passing, more and more eyes stared you down. More and more rumours surfaced. More and more and more and more and you were suffocating upon their vicious presences, fingers itching for something you could not allow yourself to give into.

“Do you have a family out there?” The warden asked all of a sudden one day. You snapped from your trance, a soft “huh?” Getting past your lips. “Do you have a family on the surface? I don’t know, a lover? Parents? Someone?” Your fingers tightened on the book you were skimming and gave him a weak nod after weighting your words. “I have a red fox with a clipped tail. He usually bares his teeth when he sees me, or any other pet around my home. And a Black Widow,” Wriothesley gave you an unsure stare, and his curiosity coaxed you to speak again. “That counts as family, does it not?”

Question over question followed the days following. Favourite place in Fontaine? Favourite book? At first it was trivial questions, easy for you to mumble one worded answers, until they were not, and you found you didn’t wish to speak one word at a time any longer. His presence became comforting, and after work, you’d come straight to his office to share the latest idea you thought of. He would sit down and listen, laugh and smile to you, and for once, you didn’t feel the weight of your duty crush your shoulders any longer. So how could you not crack when his fingers reached for a loose strand of your hair and how could he not let his ice-cold palm rest against your burning skin.

“What happened to you?” He asked softly. “How did you get here?” And how could you not indulge him.

Pulling away, you sat in the couch next to him, and he placed his coat over your shoulders as you brought a freshly brewed tea cup in your lap. “I was part of a sick joke.” You muttered trough gritted teeth and tightly pressed lips. To your surprise, he didn’t notice the way your reflection did the complete opposite in the shaky tea surface, smiling like an expecting devil. So you told him pretty lies, weaved together by a fraying string of truth. You couldn’t tell him that you killed a whole ballroom of nobles at the command of a frigid queen, so you told him you were part of the goods they were betting on. You couldn’t tell him that you were doing it for your own selfish reasons, especially as you watched your siblings bleed to death, so you told him you snapped in anger when an old man called you his personal toy. Lies and lies until his eyes were wide in horror and hands trembling on anger. You forced tears to run down your cheeks, and abstained from smiling when he brought you in a shaky hug. You had him under your fingertips, and the praise you’d receive when returning home with his head on a pedestal made your toes curl.

But something changed. You never felt guilty for lying and twisting people to your own pleasures but somehow, when you looked into Wriothesley’s eyes and he watched back with such a sweet stare, your knees would shake with shame. He lived trough this, you realised in horror. He lived your story once before, and your shame would deepen the more he opened up to you. Each moment when his longing kisses would caress your cheeks, a piece of you lost itself into a puddle of unfamiliar guilt.

You knew the little love you built on a foundation of lies would crumble soon. You had a bargain with a certain mistress, and her patience was thinning as seconds passed.

Then that day came, not that long after the chaos wrecked by a certain red fox with a clipped tail and three little rascals you had no name for. He told you specifically not to come to his chambers at that time. He had a guest, someone dangerous, and he wished to keep you away from their grasps. Little did you know, her presence was there for none other than yourself. You ran out of time, and now you had no way of ever coming clean to him.

The room around him felt suffocating, as though it was closing in and getting smaller and smaller until he couldn’t handle the claustrophobic sensation anymore. Wriothesley tugged at his tie, clearing his throat with an awkward pang in his voice. He sat at his desk, a place he usually associated with comfort. Under any usual circumstances, it would be comforting, really. A mellow feeling would settle in his chest at the though of afternoon tea with a plume in his hands, paperwork in piles at his desk. He couldn’t help it, the routine comforted him more than anything, almost more than your sweet voice did.

Across from him, with her hands on her crossed knees, was Father herself. She sat with her back straight, like a noble who grew with manners rooted into her very being. She knew something he didn’t, her very presence in his office proving as such, yet eyes reminded him of the status he would never have, of the scum his very being meant to her, and he couldn’t stand it. He sighed, trying to mirror her indifference and his nails dug crescent shapes into his palms, knuckles white against the seat’s armrests.

“I deeply apologise for the inconvenience my children have caused you.” Father finally spoke, feigning a deeply annoyed expression. Her fingers massaged the bridge of her nose, and she rolled her shoulders. Wriothesley wished to scoff, answer that “inconvenience” was a small word for the chaos that her “children” brought upon the poor warden, but he only nodded deeply. “But that is not all there is, is it?” He chimed in. She only nodded.

“As much as I quite enjoy idle chatting, there is a request I have to you.” How arrogant, he thought to himself. First they use his fortress as a hub for their shady plans, and now they want a favour. He had it in himself to refuse without even hearing her out, but his lips pressed against each other in curiosity.

“Is it about that ginger harbinger of yours?” At his words, her eyebrows raised, only for a second, and before he could take pride in her confusion, her face was back to the same unreadable expression. “No, not quite. I am not very interested in the business of my fellow harbingers, you see.” She let her elbow rest on her knee, and her chin in her palm. Her stare was unchanging. “Usually.” She added suddenly.

Unbeknownst to the warden, at the very same moment he was serving tea with his guest, you were being helped into thick furs and expensive silks by one of Arlecchino’s children. The cat girl remained quiet as she laced your corset and draped the fur coat around your shoulders. An uniform that grew unfamiliar to you with the months you’ve spent in cheap jail clothing.

“Then, if it’s not about the ginger, what are you here for, Father?” Wriothesley pressed harder, his annoyance beginning to reflect in the way he spoke. The woman smiled and nodded her head before she spoke again, a new fire burning in her eyes. “You see, I made a bargain with one of my colleagues. Naturally, when they failed to show up with their payment, I began to fret.” He listened, unsure of how her story tied to the fortress or him at all. The man puffed. “Imagine my surprise when I found out they’d been arrested and sent to the most guarded jail in all of Teyvat!” The Father’s hands flew, palms upwards as if she demanded answers from him, and he stilled at her words.

Your heels clicked agains the floor of the fortress, and you felt their eyes prickle at your back just like they did your first day here. Lynette and Lyney followed behind you with confidence in each of their step, like they lived for the attention, and you felt your body slip back into old habits as you walk straighter, taller, prouder.

Back in the office, Wriothesley pushed himself up from his desk and took cautious steps to the sofa, where you’d always seat with a pleasant smile on your lips. “And pray tell, who really is this colleague of yours?” Arlecchino only shrugged. “They should be joining us soon, really soon.” And the second her threatening words left her lips, the copper door to his chambers twisted.

No one spoke as a dangerous clicking of heels took to the stairs, followed by the much softer steps of the two children. When you reached the study, you were met with the sturdy back of your so called lover, and the bemused face of Father, who barked a laugh when you nodded your head her way. “You look pathetic. Like you haven’t seen sun in months.” The warden didn’t dare turn around, already feeling the edge of betrayal, a blade that danced around his neck right in this moment. But you refused to cower before someone like Arlecchino, ranked underneath you yet cocky enough to mock you.

“Because I have not.” You said dangerously, and the man between you two snapped his head back to look at you with wild eyes. He took you in with fury and disbelief in his gaze, watching how your expensive clothes hugged your body and how the traditional Snezhnayan accessories fit you, like they were part of your very existence. He couldn’t take his eyes off you, even as Arlecchino threw you a jewel he refuse to acknowledge the very existence of. Wriothesley searched for your eyes, hoping for you to half turn around and act as though you had no idea what was happening, but you stood tall and braved his gaze back. As though you never shared any kisses, any nights or any ‘I love you’s with him.

You carefully pinned the cryo delusion next to the dendro vision on your coat’s collar, and it fell in place as though it was always meant to stay there, like a piece of the puzzle that was you had finally snapped into place, and he saw the truth he knew crumble before his own grasps. “Let me properly introduce myself, then.” You spoke to your lover. “My name is [Y/n], the Third Harbinger under her majesty, the Tsaritsa. I would say it has been a pleasure to stay in the Fortress of Meropide, but I’m afraid I would lie.”

To say he was betrayed was an understatement. Wriothesley would hate you before you even told him the whole truth, and he would wait for no answers before trying to take you down himself.

He would fail, of course, and once his face would meet the cold floor, he would break with silent tears. In the same time, the poison you slipped in his goblet the day before would begin to kick in. It was not enough to kill him, you assured, just enough to make him sleepy. It would keep him obedient for the travels, after all, he was your newest pet. Before he could make out what your words even meant, his eyes would close and he would find himself in a deep slumber.

Arlecchino took payment in favours, you learned, drawing patterns between her previous bargains and the one she would strike with you that day in the Duke’s study. But you couldn’t complain, not even when she left you to deal with a prison full of violent inmates. “Don’t kill them all.” She called while taking her children and leaving you alone in the study.

When Wriothesley opened up his eyes, he was no longer in his chambers, but under thick layers of fur, and when his eyes gazed upon the window next to the bed he laid in, in horror, he realised he was no longer in Fontaine either.

It would take you a long time to convince him to even listen to your explanation, but he never attempted to leave your side when he followed you from Snezhnaya to Fontaine and back. Not even when he simply refused to speak to you all together. The Tsaritsa would laugh with a full chest at how foolish his love for you was, and you couldn’t help but agree.

But he stayed. No matter how mad, he stayed by your side. And when you’d come back drained in blood and death, he would simply take your fur mantle off and kiss your skin as he’d rid you of your guilt.

In the end, he’d never really trust you again like before, but you were willing to sit by his side and learn to love him truly, safe to say more than an owner would love a guard dog, while he would learn to trust you again. He’d forgive you, but never forget the betrayal.

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the-daily-dreamer · 6 months ago

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The fact that they couldn't give us a scene of Alicent enduring her teenage pregnancies and worriedly confiding in her father which could've garnered some level of sympathy, but instead they gave us scenes of-

An underage Aegon masturbating.

An original character for adult!Aegon to SA.

A Green Council that completely reduces Alicent's involvement.

Child fighting pits.

More SA directed at Alicent from Larys Strong.

A completely illogical scene of Rhaenys and Meleys crashing through the dragonpit and murdering countless civilians.

...all of which could've been devoted to worldbuilding that actually explained why Alicent and the rest of the Greens feel as justified in their wariness towards Viserys and Rhaenyra's lackluster decision making.

They gave us so many unnecessary scenes that exist purely for shock value. It’s a cheap attempt at drumming up the feelings people had during seasons 1-4 of GOT.

And by doing this they lost critical time where they could produce actual nuance for both sides. Show the real reason that team green doesn’t and shouldn’t give a crap about what Viserys wanted, and why they had every right to pursue their claim.

We got to see Rhaenyra have a miscarriage but not a single scene of Alicent giving birth (much younger and scared and crying for her mother)?! We got to see Rhaenyra marry Daemon in an uncomfortable and boring blood ritual but not Alicent’s wedding where she had the opportunity to voice or show her displeasure in her circumstances and see how creepy Viserys is marrying a child?! We get a bunch of scenes of Viserys caring about, and doing things for, Rhaenyra but no scenes of Viserys rebuffing and intentionally ignoring his children (except the driftmark fight but again that’s showing him standing up for Rhaenyra more than ignoring the team green kids).

If we actually got scenes showing Alicent suffering instead of implying it and hoping that (intentionally obtuse) fans will get the picture, and scenes showing just how different Viserys mistreats his other kids compared to Rhaenyra instead of having characters just say it out loud. We might have had a show that produced more fans that are on the fence. But instead we have a show that uses critical time trying to shock you with illogical death, SA, and generally uncomfortable sex scenes. Thereby overshadowing any opportunity for people to understand team green and sympathize with them

#game of thrones #house of the dragon #team green #anti team black #anti rhaenyra targaryen #alicent hightower #pro alicent hightower #pro team green

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sokkastyles · 11 months ago

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I think it's implied that Azula started firebending before Zuko did, and not even just that Zuko started at a later age than Azula. If Azula 5 or 6 in the flashback in Azula in the Spirit Temple when she first starts firebending, then I think Zuko hadn't started firebending yet as a 7 or 8 year old. And that probably informs the reactions we see in the comics from their parents as well.

I mean, I think Ozai would have very much held Zuko's lack of firebending over his head. My theory is that Ozai's disfavor of Zuko began to fester as soon as Zuko was born, due to Ozai protecting his own insecurities onto Zuko (and also being jealous that Zuko divided Ursa's attention). This would be easy for Ozai to do since Zuko is both his firstborn and a boy.

So by the time Azula comes along, Ozai is already convinced that Zuko is a failure (and it's possible that there were disfavorable omens when Zuko was born that fed into that perception, maybe Zuko was late learning to walk or talk, etc.) and that he will be a late bloomer, or maybe not a bender at all.

And poor Zuko, for his part, becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, as kids often do when they live in a household where the adults in their lives don't expect them to flourish. So every time Zuko failed to hit a certain milestone, Ozai would use that to either torment him or Ursa on how her son was a failure.

So when Azula is born, Ozai is determined that she will be everything Zuko is not. And maybe Azula does things that encourage this perception. We know she's precocious, and again, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Ozai gets pleasure out of giving Azula every praise and advantage he denied to Zuko. How long before either of the children began to make a single spark do you think Ozai was telling his family how sure he was that Azula would firebend first, and rubbing it into their faces how that meant Zuko was a failure?

I think this fits with both the reactions we see from Zuko and Azula as young children in the comics. A lot has been made of that scene in Azula in the Spirit Temple when Ursa reacts with fear and disappointment on seeing her daughter bending, while Ozai is exuberant and demands Ursa praise their daughter. We, the audience, know who Ozai is. We know his excitement for his daughter's firebending skills is not out of caring or pride for his daughter, but all about himself and the weapon he wants to make Azula into. There is reason for Ursa to be fearful, here, but it's fear of Ozai, not fear of her daughter. And, as the comic also states, fear for Azula.

I also want to go back to that scene in the Search where we see young Zuko coming to his mother, waking from a nightmare where Azula has set his room on fire. Both Azula and Zuko are very young in this scene, and of course Zuko's fear is ridiculous. Neither of the children have started bending yet.

But if Ozai had already been telling his family how strong Azula was going to be, and how weak Zuko was in comparison, that explains very well Zuko's fear.

There's also something here of fire as an element both prized and feared by those who wish to control it, and I think both children learned very quickly the dual nature of fire and made it a core aspect of their personality.

I think about that image of baby Zuko in awe of Iroh's flames in Legacy of the Fire Nation. How long before the wonder of fire turned to fear, and anxiety because he just couldn't seem to measure up?

Can you imagine how terrifying it was for all of them living with Ozai? Not because he was physically violent, but because of the violence in his threats, the subtle reminders of how his rage could be turned on those who didn't meet his expectations at any moment. And he'd already made up his mind that Zuko would never meet his expectations and that Azula had to. No wonder Zuko learns to fear his sister at an early age. No wonder Azula learns that it's better to be feared than to be a disappointment.

#zuko #azula #ursa #ozai #atla comics #azula in the spirit temple #the search #abuse cw

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leocchisart · 7 months ago

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OKAY; We need to talk about this TyZula scene:

this scene has been talked about a LOT. specifically by anti-tyzula/azula fans. but for this "rant" im looking at it through the lens of just azulas character.

it is DETRIMENTAL to azula as a character. this will be a slightly indepth review i guess. im sure someone already talked about this and what im going to say, but i just want to bring it to light considering some of the anti-azula/tyzula stuff i've been seeing recently

Part 1: Azulas reaction to the way Ty Lee approaches her

the way ty lee approached azula is really important here. you might just think, "oh leo it's just Azula being jealous!" but when ty lee walks up to azula saying, "thank goodness you're here!" (i didn't get this part in the clip cuz im a fool and didn't record it on time but whatever go watch the clip on youtube) this qoute is really impactful. it possibly made azula feel less than ty lee. here is the qoute again, "Thank goodness you're here", i feel like azula would take this very personally.

even just the single first sentence. "Thank goodness" is obviously ty lee thanking azula, but for what? you might say, "well yeah for being there" but i genuinely believe azula would interpret this along the lines of, "she only wants me when she needs me" or something like that.

Part 2: Azula's jealously towards Ty Lee

i think a lot of people solely think she's jealous over the boys liking ty lee more than her. but it's not just that. i genuinely find that azula is not only jealous of the boys, but also social interaction in general. specifically with ty lee having that skill and her not.

we don't have much information as to mai, ty lee, and azulas experience in the Royal Fire Academy for Girls, but im assuming azula didn't need much social skills to succeed there. she had two close friends to deal with people speaking to her, and was literally a crown princess of the FIRE NATION. if she couldn't get what she wanted whether mai or ty lee were there- she could always use her royalty as her advantage. i also can see her threatening those in school who opposed her (without using her royalty as a reason). there is a key moment we see during a flashback where azula and ty lee are playing. azula did her best to preform a cartwheel and failed while ty lee succeeded. because of this azula actually pushes ty lee down!

keep in mind that this is one of azulas closest friends other than mai. we can only IMAGINE what azula would do to a student who got in the way of something she wanted.

so yes; azula is jealous of ty lee getting attention from boys, but it's not solely that. it's her social skills that she's also jealous of.

Part 3: The Conflict

azula gets defensive after her reaction to the previous plot point. she verbally attacks ty lee because of it. azula says to ty lee, "those boys only like you because you make it so easy for them! you're not a challenge, you're a tease."

yes azula is "critiquing" the "way" ty lee attracts men. azula is saying she'd do the exact opposite. but the opposite is all she knows. she grew up learning the power of being the best, being perfect, and fear mongering. she genuinely sees that as the way to handle ANY social situation.

as far as, "it's not like they actually care who you are." qoute goes; azula sees this as another flaw in her interactions with men.

example is when she tries to convince chan to to maybe (?) have a relationship or farther; she uses (not exactly royality) but her skills as a skilled bender for a reason to stay with her. considering she has no social skills, her only option (in her mind) is to use her higher power. ty lee doesn't use her high rank in nobility (along with her chi blocking abilities) to what azula would call an advantage.

im not defending azulas verbal assault on ty lee. im solely explaining (imo) the feelings behind it.

Part 4: Ty Lee's reaction

This one is simple. ty lee is hurt by azulas words. obviously.

Part 5: Azula's redemption for this scene

it already baffles me when people say azula is (pure evil) just based on her actions between others. but this scene shows a side of azula we haven't been able to see so far through the series. an apology. not only did she apologize to ty lee but admitted her mistake and explained why she said what she did. i think it's insane that people solely walk past this scene and only see it as azula bullying ty lee. if anything it's the opposite. yes she makes a rude remark, but after seeing ty lee's reaction she IMMEDIATELY takes her comment back an apologizes.

this is so human and shows a side we hardly ever got to see. especially when it's specifically between her and ty lee. their relationship is so important as far as azulas character goes. (not to get too deep into it but,) even in "Azula and the Spirit Temple" ty lee is one of the illusions that the spirit attempts to make her happy with. azula obviously has a strong connection to ty lee in a loving and caring way that most people look past. whether it's from these scene or that specific comic. obviously their relationship has unhealthy flaws but what relationship doesn't?

Part 6: A quick resolution

so there you go. basically an essay on a single 36 second clip i just wanted to give azula some light because people ALWAYS paint her as "crazy" or "evil" but that's simply not true. same goes for TyZula. yes there is a power imbalance, but azula does admit her mistakes and apologizes for hurting ty lee's feelings.

Anyway thanks for reading!!

#atla #princess azula #ty lee #tyzula #azula #ty lee atla #avatar the last airbender #im scared to post this

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ineedhaikyu · 7 months ago

Text

Chapter Three

Summary: Inarizaki boys reacting to their manager admitting her crush on Karasuno’s ace, Asahi Azumane

Word Count: 1.9K

Warnings: Short fic but still fun to write. Atsumu is a little meanie in this but I still love him. He’s just a goofball sometimes. Some characters are a little OOC but I hope it’s okay for the sake of the story. A/N: Next post will be a headcanon about the Inarizaki vs Karasuno match because I’m not great at writing action scenes. Hope you still enjoy it. Happy reading!

“I think… He’s the one.”

As the words left her lips, (Y/N) knew they were true. She genuinely felt a connection towards the opposing team’s ace. Never before had she felt this warm feeling at this level with anyone else like they were with Asahi.

To all the boys before him, she did try to see if those feelings were hidden or at the very least present. In her eyes, every guy, minus the Miya twins, who tried to ask her out only showed her their best side. The side where they can take pride in, all the while hiding the side they didn’t want her to see. Obviously, she knew they had their reasons but every time she explained to them it was okay to have faults they didn’t want to listen. It was as if holding their macho pride took priority.

Or how sometimes they didn’t see her as more than a girl with a pretty face. She hated guys like that. Unlucky Schmuck #3 was the very definition of a shallow person. He was the captain and ace of the basketball team who’s only real interest in her was her chest size and boosting his popularity. When she declined him, he became upset and dared to ask a question that solidified her decision was the right choice: Why wouldn’t you go out with me?! I’m the ace!

Those were just some of the reasons why she liked Asahi. He was honest with his feelings. He’s brave enough to admit his faults and maintain so humble while carrying the title of ace. His presence was so comforting and soothing. Like a warm ray of sunshine breaking over the horizon.

“Aww, look at her.” Atsumu teased, his fingers pinching her cheek. “Our manager-senpai is in love. Who would have thought?”

(Y/N) smirked, her hand making its way to pinch Atsumu’s cheek. “What? You thought I was going to stay single forever?”

“Ack! No! Of course not…” The setter said unconvincingly, his eyes gleaming in mischief. “Ow! Quit hurting me!”

She pinched his cheek one final time before letting go. “But really, Asahi is a sweet guy.”

“Oh yeah, he looks really lovable.” Osamu peered over her shoulder to look at Karasuno’s ace. “You do know we’re not going to go easy on them just because you like him, right?”

“Like hell we are!” Atsumu exclaimed as he crossed his arms. “I got to show that Goody-Two Shoes a lesson about setting.”

(Y/N)’s jaw dropped and mocked a hurt expression on her face. “I wouldn’t ask you guys to do that. Everyone worked hard to get here. Nationals isn’t the place to take it easy.”

Suna fixed his jersey into his shorts. “So… When’s the first date?”

“He’s not her boyfriend!” The twins interrupted in unison.

“Geez, announce it to the whole stadium, why don’t you? Maybe I should get the announcer’s microphone to help.” (Y/N) said, her words dripping in sarcasm.

The middle blocker smirked at his manager’s quick retort before returning to his previous question, “That being said, will there be a date?”

“No way.” Osamu cuts in. “It’s too soon. They barely met yesterday.”

“And our senpai only deserves the best. Not some nameless ace from a forgotten powerhouse.” Atsumu huffed as he crossed his arms.

“This is why you’re the evil twin.”

“What?!”

“That’s true.”

“Shut up, Suna!”

(Y/N) smiled at the second-years. They always made her day a bit more interesting since they first met. But sometimes, they can be a bit much. Especially before matches.

“As much as I love you guys being protective and all, I can make my own choices. I’m not the type of girl that would fall for any guy.”

“That’s true.” Suna jutted out a thumb at the twins. “You were smart enough to dodge these two.”

“Hey!” They yelled, glaring at the smirking middle blocker.

“Oh, they’re not that bad. Anyone would be lucky to have them as their boyfriend.” (Y/N) began as she patted both twin’s backs. Her words seeped into the brothers’ core as they puffed out their chest in pride. Until she spoke, “But they’re still idiots.”

Once the idiot remark registered in their brains, the twins quickly reacted while Suna cracked another grin.

“How could you say that, (Y/N)-san?!”

“He’s more of an idiot than I am!”

“Oi! At least I don’t steal her food when she’s not looking!”

“So? She says she doesn’t mind.”

As Atsumu and Osamu continued to argue, the manager and the middle blocker watched from the sidelines. With the twins now moving on to personal insults, the rest of the team decided to join the watch party.

“Why are they fighting?” Akagi, the libero, asked as he and Omimi walked up to her.

“I call them idiots.” (Y/N) simply stated with a smile on her lips. “Now they’re trying to prove who’s the bigger idiot.”

“The fight could go on forever.” Omimi’s deep voice pointed out but made no effort to stop them.

“You didn’t answer my question, (Y/N)-san.” Suna whispered. “Is there a date with you and that Karasuno guy in the future?”

She smiled at him as she could see the care in Suna’s eyes and hear the amount of worry that laced his words. Her mind couldn’t help but wonder on what would happen if she and Asahi were to go on a date. If he were to ask her out, she undoubtedly would say yes but there’s that small voice of doubt that would say: This is too good to be true. So much so that it has to be a dream…

“I don’t know, Suna. I think it’s too soon to tell.” (Y/N) took the chance to look at Asahi across the gym. His back was towards her but it was as though he could sense her eyes on him as he turned around. His eyes locked with hers and once again she felt herself get goosebumps. “I guess we’ll see.”

Suna narrowed his eyes at his manager. During the two years he’s known (Y/N), he has never seen her like this before with a guy. While this Asahi guy looks… Suspicious to say the least, if he can make her happy then that’s fine by him.

“Take it from me, (Y/N)-senpai, when a guy likes a girl, he makes the effort to get to know her�� Those moments with her… Will mean a lot to him. If you feel the same way as he does, don’t be scared. Go for it and see where the relationship takes you one step at a time.”

Out of any of the players on their team, Suna was the last person she would suspect of giving out meaningful relationship advice. Though, she couldn’t say it completely surprised her. The middle blocker has always been the observant type.

She placed her hand on his shoulder. “Thanks, Suna. I needed to hear that.”

“No problem. Guess my sister’s girly magazines do work, huh?”

(Y/N) gasped before playfully punching him. “And here I was thinking you’re my favorite second-year.”

“I still am.” Suna chuckled. “But whatever happens, I hope your boyfriend knows how lucky he is to catch your eye.”

“Aww Suna… You care for me.”

“The whole team cares for you.”

With that being said and done, the middle blocker left and (Y/N) smiled as his words were true.

The first-years, though nervous, would always help her with trivial chores. The second-years never failed to bring any silly shenanigans to the table but she had to admire their dedication to the sport. Finally, her fellow third-years, the ones that have been by her side since the very first practice, have given her a high school experience that she’ll remember fondly. Despite their motto saying that they didn’t need the memories, (Y/N) will always cherish the moments she spent with the Inarizaki volleyball team.

“(Y/N)-san.”

“Hey, Aran. Oh, Kita-san, you’re done with the interview? How did it go?”

Kita unzipped his maroon jacket before he spoke, “It went well. How are things here?”

“Besides the twins arguing.” Aran laughed.

The trio of third years walked to the nearby bench where two black jerseys, #1 and #4, were placed.

“Everything is ready to go.” (Y/N) answered as her two friends removed their normal shirts. She passed each of them their respective shirts. “And the twins are just… Extra motivated to play.”

“Oh?” Aran raised his eyebrows. “Any special reason why?”

“Well… There’s this guy I met yesterday…”

“WHO?!” The Inarizaki’s ace all but shouted, attracting the attention from everyone on the team.

“Aran, lower your voice.” Kita instructed.

But the ace only looked at his captain as if he was a crazy mental patient. “How can you be so calm, Kita? Did she tell you already?”

The silver-haired stoic captain shook his head. “(Y/N) didn’t tell me anything, but I can tell something was going on. I just didn’t know it was because of a guy.”

“Who is he? Do we know him?” Aran interrogated.

(Y/N) retold her story on how she met with Karasuno’s ace to her friends. The butterflies in her stomach revived once more when she was at the part of the story where she secretly gave Asahi her phone number. When she finished, she waited for their response.

Aran was the first to react.

“Wow. I didn’t know you had it in you, (Y/N). This guy must be crazy good to impress you.”

“It’s not just that. You’ll see when you play against him.” (Y/N) told them as she fiddled with the zipper of her maroon jacket. “He’s not like anyone I’ve met.”

Kita smiled at her. The two of them have shared the same classes since the first day of high school so he knows that (Y/N) wouldn’t fall for any guy, no matter how persuasive or charming he can be. But it seems this Asahi guy wasn’t like that at all. In fact, he sounded like the complete opposite a girl would go for… At least, that’s what he assumes. But he wasn’t going to question his manager’s choice. Like (Y/N) said, he’ll see for himself what Karasuno’s ace is like.

“I trust you, (Y/N).”

“Yeah, me too, (Y/N).” Aran joined. “I can’t wait to see what this guy is made of.”

Before she could even utter a word, Coach Kurosu announced it was time. Everyone quickly huddled together for their usual pep talk. (Y/N) took a quick head count before gathering her stuff. When she came back, everyone looked more determined than ever.

“What’s-”

“Alright! Let’s go show Karasuno what Nationals is all about! Let’s go win this!” Aran shouted.

“Yeah!” Everyone shouted back.

“And show that their ace is out of his league to flirt with (Y/N)-senpai!” Atsumu added.

“YEAH!!!”

If she didn’t have her hands full, (Y/N) would have facepalmed at her teammates’ method of a pep talk. It would have been considered embarrassing if it wasn’t so endearing to see how much they cared for her. Besides, she’s never seen them so determined like this before.

As they walked towards the main gym, she brought Kita aside and asked, “Was what Atsumu said really necessary?”

“It worked didn’t it?”

(Y/N) sighed but smiled. Her heart was beating in excitement as the main gym’s lights shined over them. Her ears were ringing when she heard the loud cheers.

“May the best team win.”

‘Good luck, Asahi.’

“Hey, Daichi. Is it just me or am I being glared at by everyone on the other team?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Asahi. You’re probably imagining it.”

Next: Mini Drabble

#haikyu x reader #asahi azumane x reader #asahi fluff #asahi x reader #haikyu fluff #haikyuu #asahi x you #haikyu #haikyu imagines #haikyuu x reader #Inarizaki #Atsumu #Osamu #Miya Twins #Suna #Kita #Aran

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patroxlos · 3 months ago

Note

in another ask u said that reader feeds into his insecurities and worsens his abandonment issues could u explain it more? also loved how we got to know reader more in the last chapter it helps build character and made me think abt how much deep the reveal is gonna be (angst coming? 👀). tnks for the food💕

the angst will be coming! and they will be miscommunicating so much more than they are right now! im excited because ch8 is significant to establish the reader's motive >:) but to answer your question...

SUMMARY:

all will be revealed as the story progresses >:) i was intentionally vague in that ask because it hasnt been revealed in the story yet what caused you two to fall nearly out years ago, but that said im a yapper HAHAHA

your role as his childhood friend is significant bc u are tied to his past in japan, a place and culture he has very conflicting feelings about

he thinks you don't need him in your life esp because you're so confusing and indecisive about what you want from him

you both were very toxic for eo during your situationship.

If you want to see me yap about Kenji's abandonment and attachment issues, keep reading.

There is narrative purpose as to why I figured a childhood friend would fit in well with Ultraman: Rising's plot in itself

the movie is very family-centric, and a lot of how kenji achieves peace with himself in the film is by reconnecting with the past, be it his family or the culture he left behind

while i figured that it would be fun to write a reluctant team-up to lovers, bc ill be able to play around w kenji's personality pre-Emi, i also didnt see the place of a romance forming while he's struggling being a single mom

but i also wanted the story to take place during the movie's run bc i wanted to include Emi since she plays a big part in us learning who Ken is, so writing a fic that starts after the film didnt feel in the cards for me

since kenji grows as a person by the end of the film through making peace with his conflicting identities and his tumultuous past, i thought having a childhood best friend would make sense since i dont think he has the space to introduce anyone new in his life

bc reader is a childhood friend who he is meant to be close to, i cant write kenji interacting with reader the same way he is at the start of the film because there is a familiarity that breaks down his walls— which caused me to have a dilemma about how to characterize him

it also made me a bit sad that i cant write full-on ken sato the "egomaniac" bc i think thatll be fun since he's such a boyfailure

but that means that we see a softer ken when he interacts with reader, someone who is a bit more vulnerable with showing that he strives for further connections in his life even if he wants to look like he can do it all by himself

Kenji feels alone and disconnected from everyone, including you

it's also clear to the audience that kenji doesnt have any friends, and anyone he's friendly with is probably friends with him on a surface level. Ami states in their first interview that he is known as someone who keeps others at a distance, and who is untouchable

the team behind Ultraman: Rising did state that there is a deleted scene where he is clubbing, which is meant to show that he feels alone even in a sea of bodies. and his dad in the movie isnt surprised that he is throwing parties at his house, so it just clues us in that he probably lived life with very shallow connections and has filled his time with materialistic pursuits (e.g. his car collection...what he need a mclaren for)

i decided to make the reader someone from the 1% for two reasons: first being so that i can explain why her and kenji meet up over the years (i see a lot of friends who migrated to north america only once a year and we're still close!), and second, because i wanted you to be on the same playing field if not higher playing field than him.

Ken puts up the front that he doesn't need anyone else, but he is insecure about how he thinks you don't need him.

bc u have ur own things going on!! u have ur own friends

what makes it worse is that u genuinely think that kenji is the same. u think that since he's very successful, he would have his own thing

i havent touched up on it much yet, but it's very evident to kenji that you will readily pick yourself over him, which isn't a bad thing but it reminds him when his dad picked Ultraman over keeping his family together

ken feels like he can never be anyone's first choice or priority, and your situationship messes this up further

I haven't touched much on what happened between them yet in the story because it's building up to it, but

it soon feels for ken that youre only seeking him out on convenience. that he doesnt matter to you beyond what his body can do for you

bc spoiler: you are the villain in the situationship! you're the one who insists that everything is casual yet you keep the line blurry

^ karma is gonna get to u soon in the main storyline ure gonna be dry heaving when u realize u actually do want something with him

your constant back and forth with him will be revealed in the flashbacks... you not wanting more than a casual relationship yet youre talking abt what it would be like if you two got married???

Spoiler but during the situationship years, you're also the first one to say "I Love You" ROMANTICALLY yet youll later on backtrack and say that you didnt mean it in that way

can you blame him for getting confused and insecure about where you stand and whether or not he actually matters to anyone.

it doesnt help that his presence in your life is actively harming your reputation and career.

in ch8, it's briefly mentioned that ur media hate train is caused by ppl who are paying for bad press abt u starting from when you were 18. if you remember ch3-4, kenji freaks out abt a new article abt u two, and ch6 he was conscious of what others were saying.

one thing i want to elaborate in a separate post is that ken is AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT and reader is written to have DISORGANIZED ATTACHMENT.

Even if Kenji is avoidant due to his trauma of abandonment (e.g. self-reliant, avoids social connections), he can't help but yearn to be with you

so it's so confusing to him bc with everyone else, he would want to leave first. and he's close to leaving you so many times

yet you keep making these promises, saying sweet things about how much you need him, that he cant help but get roped into it a bit

When he is younger, he's fully aware that it is not a healthy mindset, but even if you're just using him at least it means that he still gets to be in your life. It makes him feel needed.

in the present timeline, sometimes those thoughts definitely cross his mind but at present he is focusing on maintaining the boundary you guys set about strictly being friends

So far I hope you caught in the story [as of ch8] from the subtext or dialogue that

in the present timeline, you are both 26 years old

the situationship started when you were 16 and lasted until you were 23

bc ure both high profile starting when you were 18, and u both publicly seem a lot closer than what ure claiming to be, it is well-documented that you two kind of go back and forth with each other (think justin and selena/shawn mendes and camila cabello)

(a new photo recently surfaced of shawn and camila together at Copa América and ppl were kind of confused as to whether or not they got back together again after breaking up for like the fourth time and i was like omg... home base core...)

when you both were 23, three years ago, you two had a really bad falling out caused by your previous situationship

it caused you officially end it for good, and while you maintained your friendship for those three years you weren't able to properly see each other face to face (partly. bc covid is canon in the fic HAHAHA but i havent talked abt it)

yall dont know how to act around eo anymore like why a little eye contact making u nervous .... yall had ur privates in eo's mouths (kenji munch next chapter soon promise hihi)...

since it is revealed that a large part of the hate train against you is paid for by people who want you out of power, kenji as much as possible wants to avoid being seen as more than friends with you atm bc he's worried it will derail your career

SORRY if it felt like I didn't say anything at all since I don't want to reveal too much at this stage lmao but I can do my best to elaborate on any points of interest!

#answered #home base #kenji sato #ken sato #ultraman: rising

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raayllum · 1 year ago

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Punishment VS Acceptance: The Silvergrove and Callum

5x01, 5x04, and 5x08 were probably my favourite episodes for Rayla and Callum’s dynamic this season, for obvious reasons, and rewatching the bulk of the season next day after (and for a nice meta segue) I wanted to tackle the downright beautiful parallels between 3x03 and 5x01 (and a little bit of 4x03).

So let’s get into it.

As we all know, Rayla returns home in 3x03, and gets a... more brutal welcoming than she was expecting, partially due to her own perceived crimes, and due to the Silvergrove’s associative prejudices/inclinations.

It is extremely important to note that (at this time at least) Rayla is banished for something she didn’t even do: “But you didn’t run away from anything. They just don’t know what happened.” And although initially dejected, she remains hopeful and ‘confident’ that Ethari wouldn’t have done the spell.

Ethari, however, temporarily chooses his grief and village over his daughter, and shuts her out... in a way, framing wise, that’s not too dissimilar from Callum’s initial cold reaction in 4x01.

Which makes sense, as both Ethari (and later Amaya) state is quite similar:

Then, of course, while pursuing the exact opposite of abandoning her family, and trying to figure out what happened to them, Rayla is caught emerging from Viren’s old sealed off chambers in 5x01 and accordingly arrested. What I found particularly interesting is that in spite of being fully able to, Rayla doesn’t actually say a single word during her pseudo trial, Callum and Opeli doing all the talking for her (on both ends).

She knew stealing the key wasn’t the right thing to do, but felt unable (or unwilling) to share the burden of the coins with Callum, probably because she hasn’t been able to rely on anyone in a long time (two years alone did not help) and that it’s always been something she’s struggled with. Runaan and Callum’s complicated personal history likely didn’t help either.

And just like the Silvergrove, Opeli is arresting her on the basis of association:

and unlike the Silvergrove, on account of crimes she actually committed.

And I think there’s a lot of reasons Rayla doesn’t speak up in this scene - shame, the way she’s never been particularly good at advocating for herself, the general emotional difficulties present - but I think the main reason is that she left Callum an explanation in Through The Moon about why she left and he was still (understandably) angry with her, but more than that is that the Silvergrove flat out did not care about her intentions, and she knows it.

E: I told Runaan you were too good hearted for the work of an assassin, so I know you did not betray them out of malice.

Why would this time be any different, especially when as stated, she’s done all the things she’s being accused of?

But Callum isn’t the Silvergrove, so of course he’s different.

Where they stripped her of her home and literal identity, labelling her a Ghost, he reaffirms that her name - “She’s not ‘the elf’ - she’s Rayla” and that he knows exactly who she is. Where the Silvergrove robbed her of a chance to explain herself...

Callum says that she doesn’t need to even when it’s being demanded of her. Whereas before her intentions didn’t matter, they’re all that count here, enough that he is willing to disregard literally everything else (including his own complicated feelings about said murder bow).

C: I know this. [To love is simply to know this:] The tides are true as the ocean is deep. O: What does that mean, Prince Callum? C: It means I trust her. Unconditionally. Let her go. Now.

He doesn’t know ‘what happened’ as far as her intentions and motivations, only the worst presentation of her behaviour. But he refuses to punish her for doing something alone, for not asking for help, for keeping a secret. Instead he’s warm and compassionate and vouches for her, and if anything takes a certain amount of self-imposed responsibility on his own shoulders of realizing that if Rayla didn’t feel like she could come to him with something, he needs to be doing something different.

All while also reaffirming his faith in her - that it’s nothing that would hurt him, that she wants to tell him, that she will tell him one day, that she will be ready, and that he hopes she knows she can trust him.

Because he loves her.

#rayllum #tdp meta #tdp #the dragon prince #tdp spoilers #3x03 #s3 #arc 1 #arc 2 #multi #5x01 #s5 spoilers #parallels #analysis series #analysis #yes i teared up writing the ending mIND UR BUSINESS #back on my immediate post-s3 'callum is the first person in her life to love her Unconditionally' bullshit i think

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freesia-writes · 4 months ago

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Ch 16: Foreign Contaminant

~ Master List ~ Previous Chapter ~ WC: 2.8k

Hunter let out a slow exhale, finger steadying on the trigger as the animals milled about near the river below. There were far too many young males in the herd, which had resulted in a great amount of fighting for dominance to determine the social hierarchy. While it was sometimes entertaining to watch, it gave him all the more reason to thin out the kod’yok as the females huddled nearby, ears flickering in mild irritation at the pervasive atmosphere the males had created. Their meat was always in demand at the butcher shop, so Hunter was grateful for the situation he now found himself in.

One male mounted another, bugling triumphantly before being quickly headbutted by another ambitious adolescent. The ruckus spooked everyone for a moment, scattering them for a few moments before they slowly reconvened. Hunter sighed, finding himself too distracted to just take the shot already.

“We could have been done an hour ago,” came Crosshair’s slithering words from beside him on the grassy knoll where they’d both posted up. “Do you always make it so miserably drawn-out?”

“Sorry,” Hunter mumbled. “Stuff on my mind. You didn’t have to come, you know.”

“I told you I wanted to shoot something.”

“Well, when that one singles himself out again,” Hunter replied, nodding toward the largest male, “You can go ahead.”

“I thought you have your process,” Crosshair remarked snidely.

“Yeah, well… Let’s just get it and go.”

They sat in silence for a while, watching the herd mingle and squabble, neither willing to admit how much they truly enjoyed the waiting. It was peaceful and quiet, the breeze bringing a hint of warmth that suggested an upcoming return to the more temperate weather on the island, and the sun had poked out from behind the clouds to provide a toasty blanket of light across the entire scene.

“How’s the observatory?” Hunter finally asked, voice barely audible in their shared space.

“The work is fine. The people are loathsome.”

“Naturally.”

“The Xyloan keeps praising me for following the island’s will and has tried to ‘read my face’ about fourteen times now. I’m going to smack her if she tries it again.”

“You are not.”

“Maybe not,” Crosshair said with a small smile, indulging in just the thought.

“What’s the deal with the Zygerrian?”

A visceral sound of disgust.

“That bad, huh?”

“He’s nothing like the rest of his people. Must have been dropped on his head as a baby.”

“I can’t tell if that’s a good thing or a bad thing…” Hunter observed, tilting his head to sneak a glance at the side of Crosshair’s face for a second before returning his focus to the herd.

“It’s unnecessarily complex,” his brother explained, hissing his words with a particular vitriol. “He somehow broke free from their brainwashed sort of herd mentality and is just full of love and rainbows for all living creatures. He thinks everyone he crosses paths with is just wonderful.”

“Ah, yes. Sounds terrible.”

“It’s annoying.”

“Mmm.”

Silence fell for a while, Hunter mulling over all that his brother had been through and fighting a smirk at the sniper’s purported repulsion toward any sort of optimism or ebullience. But the Zygerrian’s positivity certainly seemed refreshing in comparison to the bitter, cynical types Crosshair had typically entertained since arriving on the island. Hunter didn’t think he was legitimately attracted to such harshness, but he still seemed to be working through the weight of his past and his own perceptions of his self-worth. Hunter was privately holding out hope for his brother to realize and accept the deep desire to care and be cared for.

“How’s your girlfriend?” Crosshair asked, putting just enough emphasis on the word to make it a verbal jab.

“Don’t call her that,” Hunter said, pushing aside the immediate questions in his mind. “And… it’s weird.”

The sniper remained silent, eyes lazily flickering from animal to animal as they cavorted about the hills below. Hunter was grateful for his unobtrusiveness that masqueraded as disinterest, giving time to gather his thoughts.

“I just have this nagging sense that she’s hiding something… Or… I don’t know. It can’t be as simple as it seems.”

“Why not?”

Now it was Hunter’s turn to be silenced, turning it over in his mind for a while before answering, “It just feels like there’s more to it.”

“Hm.”

“Little things,” he continued, “Like… Her past seems so… plain. Or she hints at stuff that happened but doesn’t share all of it…”

“And I’m sure you’ve shared everything with her, right?”

“No, but I have reasons not to,” Hunter deflected, “Would you go telling everything to your little Zygerrian friend?”

Crosshair sniffed, rolling his toothpick to the other side of his mouth in response.

“She finally invited me to her house,” Hunter started, interrupted by a click of the tongue from his brother.

“Nice.”

“Not like that,” he said, rolling his eyes. “We just had dinner. But I could swear she had a bunch of stuff hidden… in the walls or another room or something… Metal, electronics, weapons maybe…” He saw Crosshair staring at the side of his head out of the corner of his eye and turned to face the sniper fully. “I know it sounds crazy. But something was there. And I didn’t know how to ask about it, but she said the house was just old… But that wouldn’t explain it at all…”

“No, it sounds completely reasonable,” Crosshair said, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Honestly Hunter… It sounds like you’re the one who’s hiding everything. Your own paranoia is tinting the way you see everything.” It was judgmental and dismissive, but it did give Hunter pause. Crosshair was uncannily insightful at times, but he could also be too quick to make up his mind without considering all the possibilities. Still, he’d been having a similarly difficult time when it came to adjusting to civilian life, leading Hunter to wonder if their struggles were not so different at their core. “It’s like you want to find skeletons in every closet because you’re too scared to just let yourself be happy.”

“Kriffing hell, Crosshair. You’re one to talk,” he exhaled, absolutely skewered by his brother’s words.

“We’re not talking about me, are we?”

“Fair enough.”

Crosshair turned back to the herd of kod’yok, who had stilled enough to provide a clear, clean shot at the big male. “You know what I think?” he asked, flipping a tiny switch on his rifle before lifting it to his eye. The gun shook a little, provoking a frustrated huff from the sniper, who quickly squeezed the trigger with a snarl. The animals sprang into action, scattering in alarm, and the target hobbled a few steps before collapsing beneath the quick follow-up shot from Hunter. An awkward moment passed between the two of them, Crosshair flinging his Firepuncher across his back in irritation before turning to Hunter to finish his thought.

“I think you two just need to bone.”

[end of scene, but this is absolutely the same vibe we’re channeling here, LOL]

* * *

Butcher duties wrapped up early, Hunter arrived at the school a little while before Omega’s class let out. He knew she didn’t need escorting to or from the school, but he’d missed her over the last month, and now he chuckled at how things had flipped since the start – sometimes he’d visit Lyra at her work with the excuse of seeing Omega and walking back down the mountain together. Venturing down the quiet hallway outside the administrative wing, he came to the back door of the offices and knocked quietly.

“Well hellooo,” Lyra said as she answered, inviting him in. Her office was in the back corner, wedged between some closets, conference rooms, and archives, with one small window that barely let enough light in. The office door was dark wood and usually kept mostly closed, and she’d made her inside space cozy enough with a few small lamps and plants that brought some life to the otherwise drab setting. Everything was a rich, deep brown, from her large L-shaped desk to the shelves all around it, and the two small chairs that sat across the open part of her desk were a drastically different color from the monotony of everything else (they were a dark burgundy).

“Hi,” Hunter said placidly, quickly hiding his surprise as he saw a man sitting in one of the two chairs when Lyra moved aside to return to her desk. Standing up a little straighter, he gave a curt nod to the fellow, who was sprawled out in quite the leisurely recline. His feet were stretched out straight in front of him, up against the front of her desk, and one arm stretched across the back of the other chair beside him while his other hand toyed idly with a small decorative cube that usually sat on one of her shelves.

“Afternoon,” the man said, barely flickering a glance in Hunter’s direction before returning his eyes to Lyra, who had sat primly in her chair with her shoulders angled away from both of them, toward the wall side of the desk where her folders and screens were. “So anyway, she keeps sending me all these comms, and they keep getting bolder and bolder, and pretty soon she’s totally naked, right? Hah. But then I see her the next day and she’s pissed, and I don’t know why because I was all about her… uh… exhibition. Turns out she’d sent one more, in an even saucier position… to the wrong person!”

“Oh no,” Lyra said halfheartedly, offering a small smile and empathetic expression while Hunter’s eyebrows crawled downward. This did not seem like normal work chatter, nor did it seem like something Lyra would be particularly inclined to hear. But the man continued, oblivious to the clear disinterest as he straightened his smart suit and ran a hand over his neat, wavy blonde hair.

“I know, right? Not like that was my fault. Silly little whore…” Hunter’s mouth fell open at that, and the man turned to him, throwing a look of camaraderie that shocked the clone even more. “Ya feel me?” he laughed, rolling his eyes before turning away. Too speechless to respond, Hunter was distracted by a tiny snicker from Lyra, who had snuck a peek at him over her shoulder and was reveling in his reaction. “So what, you got a meeting with this guy or somethin?” the man continued, tossing the wooden cube back onto her desk and shifting his position into a different yet equally man-spread arrangement.

“Ah… Yes,” Lyra nodded, turning to face the two and rising to her feet as though she’d just realized the solution to her problem. “Yes… This is the parent of one of our students. We need to sort out some details for the remainder of his daughter’s internship year.”

“And you’re not even gonna introduce me?” the man said, standing up with a grunt and thrusting a hand at Hunter. “Mullet,” he announced, grabbing Hunter’s hand from his side and shaking it obnoxiously. “Mullet Hanker.” The cough that came in response was a quick cover for the laugh that surprised even Hunter – he’d heard plenty of odd names over the years, but for some reason the particular sound of this one, which contrasted starkly with the man’s suave appearance, struck him as odd.

“Hunter,” he answered, stepping back as the man pushed past him to stand beside Lyra, taking her hand just as quickly and holding it for a second, brushing his thumb across her knuckles before giving it a little farewell shake. “Just ‘Hunter’, eh?” said Mullet, giving Lyra a wink before turning back to him, snapping him out of the intense focus he’d suddenly had on their hands. “Mysterioussss.” He winked and bumped Hunter’s shoulder jovially before heading for the door, giving Lyra a quick second to shoot an apologetic glance before turning back to Mullet. “Catch you later, Vetty.”

“See you,” she said, waving as he disappeared around the corner after pointing at her for a long moment with a waggle of his eyebrows. Hunter and Lyra stared at each other for a moment, speechless in the cavernous silence that remained after Mullet’s departure. With a quiet sigh, Lyra returned to her seat, leaning her forehead into a hand while her elbow rested on her desk. Hunter remained standing, alternating between cautious glances down the hall where the man had headed and curious looks at her.

“Uhh,” he began, realizing he had no idea where to go from there.

“I know,” was all she could say.

“What… What was that?”

“He oversees the administrative wing. So he pops in from time to time.”

“For… those kinds of updates?”

“Yep,” she rolled her eyes, shaking her head at Hunter with a softened look. “I think I’m one of the few staff members that he hasn’t slept with yet. Probably has some kind of personal conquest or somethin.” Hunter’s eyes narrowed, turning to peer back down the hall before moving a little further into Lyra’s office.

“Does he bother you?”

“I mean… whose boss doesn’t?”

“Yeah, but… You shouldn’t have to listen to that kind of stuff if you don’t want to.”

“It’s not worth the conflict,” Lyra shrugged, the corners of her mouth turning down a little. “Want to sit?”

Hunter looked at the chairs, close together in the space that Mullet had just occupied, and shook his head, inexplicably dissuaded. There was a sharpness to his voice that he didn’t intend as he replied. “I’m good… Omega will be out soon anyway.”

“Hey,” she said softly, getting back up to stand before him, wrapping her arms around herself a little self-consciously and resting her weight to one side. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said quickly, rubbing the back of his neck before mimicking her crossed arms. “Why?” he asked, lifting his chin to regard her impassively.

“Just seem a little agitated.” It wasn’t an accusation, but an observation with a bit of yearning behind it, as though she wished she could free him from any burdens that may plague him. Her gentle honesty lowered his walls a little, and he looked at the floor again, clearing his throat quietly.

“Weird feeling from that one, is all.”

“You’re not wrong there,” she agreed with a light sigh. “Oh, hey!” she said suddenly, turning back to her desk and pulling something from a readily-available space on a top shelf. Coming back into Hunter’s space, she opened her hand, revealing the small emergency beacon he’d given her a couple months into the school year. “Since Omega is going to be primarily away on internships for the rest of the term, did you want this back? She might want to keep it herself when she travels.”

“She was a little weird about it when I tried to give it to her,” Hunter admitted, glancing down at her hand but not moving to take it. “She’s on a bit of an ‘independence’ kick or something…”

Lyra guffawed loudly, clapping a hand over her mouth at his initial look of affront. “No, I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you. I just…” she shook her head, a bit flustered and embarrassed now. “I’ve seen it a lot with kids this age. Well, they’re not even really kids anymore. They’re stretching their wings and finding their place in the world. And nothing is more offensive to that endeavor than someone trying to parent them, no matter how reasonable or well-meaning it may be.”

“Heh. That sounds about right,” he said slowly, a sense of validation momentary soothing his tumultuous concerns. His silence lasted a few extra seconds, his expression growing contemplative, and she tipped her head slightly, taking one tiny step closer and reaching out her free hand to place it on his forearm with feather-light apprehension. The warmth from her touch radiated up his arm and into his chest, and he slowly moved his eyes up to hers.

“If it makes you feel any better,” she said haltingly, a slight sparkle in her low voice, “No one knows what they’re doing. Kids don’t, parents don’t, even the ‘experts’ don’t. We’re all just doing the best we can with what we have… And just the way you are always there for her is the most important thing. In my idiot opinion, anyway.” Her dismissive finish was followed by a chuckle, but she nodded at him confidently, sealing her words with clear admiration.

“Well thanks,” he conceded, looking back down to her hands. “And uh… Why don’t you keep the beacon. For yourself…”

She followed his stare, bringing the little silver cylinder back up between them with an open palm again and considering it, as well as all that his words implied, then calmly closed her fingers around it, a small smile touching the corner of her mouth as she looked back up in time to see him gazing at her intently as he finished speaking.

“Just in case you ever need it.”

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celestie0 · 9 months ago

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notes on kickoff ch.7

hellooo if you're here thank you for taking the interest! i just had some creative notes i wanted to get off my chest with the release of ch.7 lol i felt compelled to do so with this one i'm basically journaling here. you can read this after reading ch7 here!

I. on gojo's feelings

as for why didn't gojo just tell reader how he felt at the end of the chapter, and instead only says what he does. i think i rewrote this ending like five different times, he was never supposed to tell her at this point based on my story planning, but i did explore the idea of a dramatic confession here regardless, and it didn't fit for lots of different reasons for one, i think he's finally able to put himself in reader's shoes. it's true he's pretty dense and obviously has commitment issues/valid fears that keep him from opening up, but that still doesn't mean he hasn't hurt reader in a lot of different ways already. he realizes, whether intentionally or not, he's led her on and to do a complete turnaround within a few hours while she's already trying to process rejection as she is clearly withdrawn from him i believed would've been selfish on his part, and could possibly cause even more hurt over the fact that he could come off ingenuine. gojo is finally emotionally aware of her enough to recognize it, but he's not a perfect person so it still slips through that he's distraught at the thought of never seeing her again. in general i'm of the opinion that if someone asks for space, you respect that unless they say otherwise of note, just because he realizes that he has these feelings, doesn't necessary change his fears, as no single moment can undo years of trauma, so i think that's why he bites his tongue too. i'm not keen on making this a "woman fixes man" story but i moreso want to embrace the sentiment that you don't need to resolve every single bad thing that's ever happened to you in order to embrace love or happiness.

II. on gojo's commitment issues

i know it was brought up in the first gojo pov that he has issues committing to just one woman, but i wanted this chapter to reveal that it's really just his fear of opening up to people due to the still raw loss he feels of losing someone he loved. i aim with his pov to be more of a stream of his own consciousness rather than from an omniscient observer, which may explain the ambiguity. he's not sure if he's able to open up to a person in a way he knows is normal and healthy, so he settles on shallow connections instead. just wanted to clear this up, and say that it won't be any sort of plot point in which he struggles to be sincere or faithful when he seriously wants to commit to someone as he has no issues with that if he truly wants to be with them (unlike the whore he's been so far in the series lmao)

III. on strawberry vanilla soda

btw i've never had this flavor of soda i'm not even sure where i came up w it loool or if it even exists. i was kind of toying with the idea of gojo seeing reader's message on the can during the match, and that would maybe help him get more focused on the field (sooo sports romance cliche but i still love it haha) but i settled on him seeing it afterwards to kinda parallel the clumsiness he's had with reader so far. for some reason, the universe just doesn't want him to get his timing right with her lol

IV. on angst/conflict

i know ch7 was a bit differentttt less gojo x reader and more just gojo lmfao, it was also a bit angsty. it definitely won't stay angsty throughout the remaining chapters. this was just gojo's lore drop chapter LOL. there will still obviously be angst here and there, but i've got a lot of fun, cute, tense, silly, passionate, messy scenes still planned similar to ch5&6 because i prefer writing those kinds of scenes haha. ultimately this story was always meant to be a full-circle romance, so ch7 was to lay some of the emotional groundwork that gets brought up as the story builds to its climax

that's all i have to saayyy if you actually read this whole thing i love you?? lol. ch7 really emotionally resonated with me as i wrote it, both as someone who understands how gojo feels but also as someone who understands how reader feels, and if it resonated with you too then that makes me very happy and that's ultimately every writer's dream haha. was very cathartic to share these thoughts. i hope to see you in the next oneeee <3 have a wonderful rest of your day!

#kickoff #gojo satoru #fanfiction

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ohtobeleah · 1 year ago

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My Future & Past // Javy Machado

Summary: You left Javy at the altar three years ago. In that time he put him back together again and moved on. But what happens when you show up in North Island looking to apologise for your actions.

Warnings: Mentions of ovarian cancer. Left at the altar. Relationship breakdown. Javy Machado x F!reader. Platonic Jake Seresin x F!reader.

Word Count: 2.6k

Author Note: Day Seventeen of Whumptober. Prompt I chose: “You look at little pale”. Thank you to @ailesswhumptober for the prompt list.

Whumptober Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Jake Seresin had known Javy Machado for the better half of his life. Hell, he knew the man before the pair of them became Hangman and Coyote, that’s how long the pair had known each other.

So to say when your name and number appeared on Jake's phone like he’d been sucked right back into the past, you just had to know bile rose in the back of his throat and beads of sweat appeared across his forehead.

“Hey, I know it’s been a while but I really need to talk to you. Is now a good time?”

Jake looked up from where he was sitting, perched up near the pool table where he could more often than not be found. His heart sank into his chest when his eyes landed on his best friend with his beautiful growing family. His wife of eight months Laura and his three month old daughter Millie. Javy Machado had very much moved on. He’d rebuilt everything you broke when you left him at the altar. And Jake wasn’t sure if he should give you the option to possibly ruin that:

Because deep down Jake Seresin knew if you walked back into Javy Machados life? He’d leave everything behind for you.

“If you give me ten minutes I’ll call you.” Jake replied. He was going to leave it at that, but broke his golden rule and doubled texted.

“I’m not gonna stop you from seeing him, but I need you to know that he’s happy now. Jav’s got a wife and kid now.”

Jake pocketed his phone just after he saw the three little bubbles that indicated you were typing back. He hated the way his chest felt so tight. Knowing that you wanted to talk after so long really had Jake's head spinning—he’d once considered you a sister. But then you left his best friend at the altar without any reason or explanation for your actions.

“I’m gonna head out for the night.” Jake mentioned as he intruded on the new family that were enjoying a little night out. “I’ll see you Monday man.”

“Yeah, seeya later man, I'll catch up with you.” Javy and Jake both said their goodbyes with parts on the backs and respective handshakes before Jake leaned in to kiss Laura on the cheek. She was as kind as they came.

“You look really good mama.” Jake cooed as he said his goodbyes to his best friend's wife. “And little Miss Millicent here is just the most precious thing.” She was sleeping in Laura’s arms. Completely milk drunk and dreaming of whatever babies dream about when they’re that old. “Text me when you’re home safe.”

“Will do Jake, will do.” He was the single cocksure uncle, but Jake was a part of the Machado family. He always had been. He had a place at the dinner table, clothes in the spare room and a half finished decking project in the Machados back yard. He was every bit a part of the family. “Drive safe, text when you get home too.”

“Always—“

Jake made his way out to his truck, the second his door was shut behind him he was pressing on the contact he never had enough courage to delete. Yours. Had it really been three years?

“I can explain everything.” Jake could tell you were crying. “Jake you have to just listen to me okay.” He hadn’t heard your voice in three entire years. “Please give me a chance to explain—“

“Y/n you left my best friend at the fucking altar what could you possibly say that could explain that?”

Jake sighed as he ran his free hand through his blonde locks. The Hard Deck looked simply beautiful tonight, with festoon lights illuminated the entire scene. “There’s nothing you could say that could make that okay, he loved you, I loved you, and you just—“ That’s when Jake's heart sank, that’s when you interrupted and finally told Jake Seresin what made you leave Javy, the absolute love of your life, at the altar the day you were supposed to marry him, you best friend.

“Jake, I have ovarian cancer.” You told him in a rush. The silence that fell between the phone call had you wanting to throw up. “I found out the morning of.” You explained, it still felt all too much to handle—but you’d been doing this all on your own ever since you ran out. “My doctor rang, it was urgent and she told me point blank it wasn’t good—I panicked, I couldn’t do that to Javy.”

“He would have loved you regardless—“ Jake felt awful, he really did. He couldn’t begin to imagine what you had gone through. But he had seen what you leaving had done to Javy and that was enough to have his guard up. That pain alone was enough to keep his wits about himself. Jake liked you, he always had—he saw the good in everything you did for everyone around you. So when you left his best friend heartbroken he knew it was so far out of your character that something had to have been wrong. And turns out there was—you just never told them. You never told anyone, you had simply just disappeared into thin air.

“Not when my prognosis was six months.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***

It felt weird being in North Island, like you were intruding on your ex’s life. You owed him an explanation though, even if it was coming out of nowhere. With the prognosis changing and your life expectancy unexpectedly growing with the treatment and your body's response to therapy, you felt a burning need to apologies to the man who was still and always would be the love of your life.

“She's just the cutest little thing.” Bob cooed as Laura held her sleeping newborn in the shade of the beach umbrella that had been set up for the two of them for the day. “She's getting so big.”

“I know–” Laura cooed down at her little girl. “She makes time go a little faster, that's for sure. I wish I could just slow it down, stop her from growing up.” You could see the group from the decking of the Hard Deck. A game of Dogfight football was well underway and of course, Javy was running around without a shirt, looking all kinds of god-like.

You really missed him, hell he didn't deserve what you did to him. He didn't deserve to believe he wasnt enough for you when in reality he was everything and then some.

“I thought I told you to wait?” Jake sighed as he came up beside you, a beer in hand as per usual. “Y/n– now isn't the time.”

“Is that his wife?” You didn't bother acknowledging Jake's statement and simply pressed on with your own as Javy caught the sight of Jake, his best friend, up on the deck with someone he didn't recognise at first. But soon enough he was stopping in his tracks. “She's really pretty.”

“She's good people.” Jake replied sternly. “And she doesn't deserve the scene that will play out if Javy sees you here, you should probably just go home and ill tell Javy to come over for Beers a little later tonight and the two of you can talk then.” But it was already too late for that, Javy had spotted you and you had spotted him. You sent him a small, nonthreatening wave and soft smile but all he did was remain still–hoping that if he stayed still enough, you wouldn't see him.

“You alright Coyote?” Rooster asked as he handed him the ball. “You look a little pale?”

You couldn't be here. It surely had to be the heat playing tricks on him, like you were some sort of mirage that his mind had made up. You weren't here, you couldn't be, you left and he hadn’t heard from you since. It was an impossible idea his mind had surely made up under the influence of the sun's rays.

“Who's Jake with?” Javy thought if Rooster knew, maybe the idea of you would fade away into the back of his mind. He’d locked any and all memories of you in the back of his mind, forever to be kept in the dark, you had broken his heart and he swore he’d never recover. But he had, he had a beautiful wife and a beautiful little girl to show for it. He was happy.

“I dunno but she's kinda hot.” Rooster chuckled, not knowing anything about you or who you were. “Dunno man, probably just a badge bunny in town.” Javy Machado had looked death straight in the eye, he had free fallen from heights you wouldn't believe. He had been on suicide missons and come back from the brink of death–but none of that compared to the fear he felt in his heart when he put one foot in front of the other. Taking heavy stride up the beach with his mind racing of the day you left him behind.

The silence had been so deafening the moment he relised you weren't coming down that aisle. And as he made his way up towards the Hard Deck, the look Jake gave him was something very similar to the look he had given him when he was tasked with telling his best friend you were gone without a trace. He felt the heaviness before he made it to the steps, nothing could compare to this feeling.

No mission could make Javy Machado as fearful and as angry as he was right now, looking you right in the eyes, the eyes he once thought he’d spend the rest of his life looking into, seeing a future in.

“Hey Ja–”

“What the fuck?” It was the first thing his brain could conjure up. “What are you doing here?” You could feel your heart beating ridiculously fast inside your chest. Your lungs felt like they were on fire, ignited by a burning desire to leap forward and kiss the man you loved so dearly.

“I uh–” You had to clear your throat as you looked at Jake who just stepped back, he didn't want to be a part of this any more than he already was. He had given you a place to stay, he’d listened to what you had to say and even he was still on the fence about it all. But he sympathised. He wasn't sure what he would have done if it was him in your shoes. But this wasn't his fight, this wasn't his heartbreak, this was between you and Javy. “I needed to see you, just to talk, I owe you an apology–”

“You left me on our wedding day!” Javy hissed as he stepped up the three wooden stairs that led up to where you stood. “What could possibly explain that besides the fact you didn't love me enough to want to marry me!”

Laura could hear her husband from afar. She knew about you. Javy had been very open and honest about who you were to him and what you did. She had helped rebuild the man you broke and the idea you were here, made her blood boil. But she wasn't about to intervene–she trusted her husband more than she trusted herself.

“Can we go somewhere and talk?” You could feel all eyes on you as you looked past Javy and saw what you could only assume was his entire team and family looking up at the deck. “A little more private?”

“No.” Javy growled. “NO you came here to talk so lets fucking talk Y/n, you left me! You just walked away like I didn't matter, like we didn’t share a life, like I didn't love you with everything I had and I wanna know the goddamn reason!”

“It's complicated.” You could feel the tears welling in your eyes but you knew you had to be honest. You had come all this way. “I had some health complications.”

“Health complications that you couldn’t tell your almost husband about?” Javy scoffed at the thought. “Come on Y/n give it a break, we were together for five years!” You didn't need to be reminded of how much time you spent with Javy. You knew. “I loved you!”

“I WAS DYING!” You just came out and said it, it was better to rip the band-aid off right? Get it out in the open. “I have Ovarian cancer Javy, I found out the morning of our wedding and I panicked, I freaked the fuck out and ran! I'm not proud of what I did and I never meant to hurt you! But I was told I was dying and I couldn't do that to you!” The world Javy had created in his mind began to crumble around him. He thought maybe you'd gotten cold feet because you didn't love him enough to marry him, he thought perhaps you'd run off with some guy you met, hell he even decided one night after a few too many drinks that you were dead–now he wished he never thought that.

“And what?” Javy hissed through a frown so prominent it cut straight through your heart. “You thought that I wouldn't? Love you?” He asked condescendingly as rage ran rampant in his heart.

“I didn't want to be a bourbon!” Your tears fell freely. “I didn't want you to watch me die, it wasn't fair to do that to you.” Jake watched on from a distance as your heart shattered into a million pieces on the decking boards. Javy was fuming, he loved you so much once, hell he’d never truly stopped. “I didn’t want to force you into becoming a caretaker, you deserved better than that and I didn’t want to make you suffer in our marriage.”

“I can’t believe you thought I wouldn’t be there for you–” Javy turned his back on you so that you wouldn't see him cry. He didn't want you to know that you could still have him dropping to his knees and mostly importantly, he didn't want you to ever know that he would give up the family he made in a heartbeat if it meant that he could be with you.

“I didn’t want you to shackle yourself to a dying woman!” It was the god honest truth of the matter, you didn't want Javy to marry you just to end up losing you. That in your mind was worse than the cruel fate you'd been dealt.

“I LOVED YOU. It was supposed to be for better or worse, in sickness and health, until we died!! I would have been there for you, WITH you, every single day. And I would have loved you until the very end! Hoping and praying that you would get better! But YOU took that choice away from me!”

“I”M SORRY!!! I was just trying to do the right thing! I was trying to protect you!”

“Yeah, well look at how that turned out.” Javy had nothing left to give you, he had no fight left inside him. “I'm done here.” He hissed. “You wanted to die alone, then die alone Y/n, I didn't need this, this apology that only benefited you and your narrative.” Jake had to agree, Javy truly didn't need it. “You broke me, and that woman down there and my beautiful daughter and these people, they put me back together after you broke me, and I won't let you near me ever again so that you can do it again.”

You watched on broken hearted as Javy gathered his family and left. He looked your way just one more time before he truly left the woman he used to love and if he was being completely honest with himself, still does, crying on the deck.

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

[Author Note] I concepted this idea with @callsignspark & we both agree the wife ends up at Jakes doorstep to confront the reader and tells you to leave. Only for Javy to show up three hours later after you’ve gone willing to throw his whole marriage away to love you again.

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Whumptober Tags 🏷️ @xoxabs88xox @oldermenaremyreligion @slut-f0r-u u @emma-is-cool @armydrcamers @topguncortez @topgun-imagines @kmc1989 @els-marvelvsp @blindedbythelightt

#ailesswhumptober2023 #leahs whumptober masterlist #Javy machado x reader #javy coyote machado #javy machado fic #javy machado imagine #javy Machado whump #tw: ovarian cancer

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