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alohastyles-x · 11 months ago

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A dark!Druig Fanfic | Druig x reader | Scream crossover

Summary: The origins of a mysterious masked killer... who just so happens to be a god.

Note: Prologue + Chap 1 are here :))) I hope you guys enjoy this story!

Warnings: mentions of blood, light gore, death, murder... lol

Wordcount: 3.2K

The metallic smell of blood clung to his senses, as Druig lifted his blade high above his head, prepared to land yet another strike to the unsuspecting victim that laid below him. It was his first kill, the rage of human fragility consuming him, driving him to take matters into his own hands. Why were humans so hungry with greed, so lustful for it that they slaughtered millions to make their point known?

Blood had already filled the streets below, flowing like a tiny creek above the pavements that weaved between now crumbling buildings. His victim would be seen as just another casualty to the war, a guard who fell to the hoards of civilians now storming the castle. They had been neglected for months, famished and homeless, littering the streets like discarded trash. Finally, they had enough, rising up against the castle and its inhabitants.

But the guard below Druig was far from innocent. The list of sins he had to atone for could wrap around the city twice. Druig was merely just doing a god’s work, sending the bastard to his hell a little earlier than expected.

Druig pulled his blade out of the limp body once more, wiping the red stains on the guard's cloth that hung from his waist. Druig slid the blade back into his own boot, the cool metal a sweet relief against his hot skin. The fire ablaze through the castle halls, set by the angry citizens, had significantly raised the temperature, a sickening heat radiating off what walls were still left standing.

As Druig straightened, a twinkle in the doorway caught his attention. A child stood in the crumbling frame, his mouth hung open at the sight before him. The child was half in the shadows, his features unrecognizable. Druigs’ senses told him exactly who the kid was - the deceased guard's son. Druig had to act quick, before the child found the will to scream over the ghastly sight.

He closed his eyes as he summoned his powers from deep in his mind. When he opened them, his eyes then turned a bright golden that reflected the fire in the torches along the wall, as he locked eyes with the child in front of him. He now had total control over the kids emotions and actions.

“It’s okay, you’re safe. Go, find your mother.” Druig said, as he calmed the boys’ now shot nerves.

The child nodded, turning slowly and taking off, jumping over fallen bricks and wreckage. Druig sighed, looking down once more at the guard at his feet.

“Should have played it safe, Alexander, so your son could have a father in his life. That is very important, you know,” Druig scolded the dead man.

Alexander had a reputation in the Byzantine town for his behavior. There were many nights after his shift that Alexander became belligerent, drunk off the spirits offered by the local distilleries, before taking advantage of any unlucky woman who happened to cross his drunken path. His list of victims was countless, many left dead in the street for their loved ones to find. The grotesque crimes he committed were covered up by the King, offering a bullshit lie as an explanation for Alexander’s behavior.

Druig wasn’t the only one who wanted Alexander dead. He was just the first one to get to him, shoving him into the room where he laid now, his blood permanently marking his deathbed.

Alexander’s son stumbled through the hallways back to his mothers room that was tucked away deep in the castle, unharmed from the civilians storming through. He was panting, trying to catch his breath as he threw open the door. His mother sat on the bed, a knife in hand as she waited for the civilians to finally reach her champers. At the sight of her son, she dropped the knife, running to him.

“Agapi mou!” She cradled the boy in her arms, holding him close to her chest.

“Mommy,” he said, his greek accent thick. “It’s páppa!”

“What do you mean?”

“He… he…” the boy didn’t have to finish his sentence. The fear and grief in his voice said everything she needed to hear. So she cradled him tighter, running her fingers through his short black hair- much like his fathers.

As the tears fell from her eyes, landing on the top of her son's head, she heard a scream echo through the castle. She knew the mob had finally found them, tearing through the halls just outside her door. She hung onto her son tighter, praying to the gods for a savior, to spare her from the sins of the castle.

Such fate did not come… for the gods she prayed to sat silently outside, held under Druigs’ control.

Present Day

Rain illuminated the soft lights of the street lamps above you as you made your way back to your apartment. The humid air was hot and heavy, making you thankful you chose to wear shorts to work tonight, instead of your normal jeans.

It was 12 a.m., not an ideal time to be out walking alone, but you didn’t have much of a choice. Living in the city was expensive enough, adding a car note on top of that was unimaginable on a waiter's salary. You made enough to get by and afford a nice, spacious apartment, and practically everything you needed was in walking distance… so it truly wasn’t that bad. You knew the route like the back of your hand, and never once felt uncomfortable…

… that is, until a loud thud echoed down the alley way you just passed. It was loud enough to catch your attention, making you stop dead in your tracks. A muffled grunt followed, and you almost continued on, assuming it was just someone finding their place to sleep for the night. But yet another muffled sound caught your attention.

“Help…” it was said in a quiet, hushed tone, just barely audible over the sprinkle of rain hitting the pavement. You pulled your phone out, turning the flashlight on as bright as it would go.

This was dumb and you knew it, but you also knew you couldn’t live with yourself if you didn’t try and help whoever called out. Inhaling a shaking breath, you began to slowly disappear into the darkness of the alley, getting your phone ready to call the emergency line just in case.

A metallic smell filled the air the further you walked, making you slightly nauseous. A buzzing filled your veins as you breathed in, which only made you more nervous. You had heard of various instances around the city of people feeling this buzz, smelling the metallic air, before coming into contact with god magic.

God magic was a deadly substance to humans who lingered in the presence of the god on earth. Inhale too much of it and your lungs begin to collapse, as they fight for pure earthly oxygen. The presence of god magic lingering, meant a god had just been here… and that wasn’t a good sign.

Quickly, you pulled your hand up to cover your nose, hoping it would be enough to block out the air. As you did so, a gleam on the pavement caught your eye, as the light from your phone bounced off of it.

A puddle of red sat ahead of you, pooling thickly out from behind the lone dumpster sat in the middle of the alley. Your breath hitched in your throat as your mind raced with every worse case scenario that could be laid out before you.

Worst case, it was human blood, belonging to the innocent victim of the god at hand- and boy, were the gods ruthless with their victims. Best case, it was just an animal sacrifice… something a lot easier to stomach.

You prayed silently for the latter as you crept closer. The buzzing only intensified the closer you got to the source of the blood, causing a slight pounding in your head.

“Oh… oh my god,” you whispered as you finally rounded the edge of the dumpster. To your dismay, it was not an animal at all, but the blonde you had just served at the restaurant not too long ago. She was out with friends, celebrating her 21st birthday. Her once white dress was now shredded, dyed with the dark red of her blood that now inked the pavement below. The shredded marks of her dress matched the shredded skin of her stomach, as if she had been gutted.

You couldn’t stop the vomit now raising through your body. Turning around you emptied the contents of your stomach onto the wet pavement. You had never seen such a gruesome sight in person- it was nothing like the movies.

Tears fell from your eyes as you quickly hit the call button on your phone. An operator answered instantly, asking for your location.

“H-hi… I’m at the alley between 5th and Steel Avenue… I just, oh god I don’t even know if I can put it into words… I just discovered a dead body…” You answered the ladies' questions as best as you could between the sobs escaping your throat.

“Is there anyone else with you?” The operator asked, as she began to get an ambulance and the police on route to your location.

“Uh… no,” you said, confidently, as you looked around to see an empty alley. One end opened to the sidewalk and the street you were just on, the occasional car passing by on the street. The other end led to a brick wall, graffitied with local street art.

“Are you sure?” The operator asked again, this time with an edge to her voice that wasn’t there before. The hairs on the back of your neck stood at her tone, making you look around once more.

“Um…,” you whispered, suddenly hyper aware of every sound and moving shadow. A rock skidded across the pavement at the dead end, causing you to turn your attention to the graffitied brick wall.

An outline of a dark shadow stood at the end, a flash of white around their face bounced off the flashlight still on your phone. You stood still, absolutely petrified of whatever being stood just as still as you.

The buzzing appeared back in your veins and the smell of rusted iron returned. You were stunned as a flash of gold briefly flickered through the air. An overwhelming flood of emotions roared through you, rendering you unable to move, as if your feet were stuck in quicksand. Tears welled in your eyes, but didn’t fall, as if something held them there. Flashes of your life played in your mind, as you accepted your fate that you were next.

But just as suddenly as it happened, the feeling was gone, replaced by the blaring lights and sirens that now filled the alley. The lights made their way to the brick wall, where absolutely nothing appeared.

A cry escaped your throat as you dropped to your knees.

One thing was certain…

… you were just in the presence of a god.

A few hours later you were slugging your way up the stairs to your apartment, the events of the evening weighing on you heavily. You had run out of tears a while ago, as you sat in the detective's office going over and over and over what had happened in varying degrees of detail.

“You’re sure you heard nothing? Saw nothing? That has to be impossible… No one you passed looked suspicious?” The detective's voice echoed in your mind as you unlocked the apartment door.

A soft purr brought you out of your thoughts, as your cat sat patiently by the front door, mewing softly. She hadn’t had food in hours, as you were later than usual getting home.

“Oh Mr. Jinx, I’m sorry,” you whispered, stooping down to pet him. He leaned into your palm, rubbing his tiny head against it. “Come on, let’s get you some food.”

“Where have you been?!” A shrill voice made you jump back into the door, scaring mr. Jinx down the hall.

“God, Celia… don’t yell so loud,” you mumbled, gripping your temples.

“Y/N… there was a murder near your restaurant! I haven’t heard from you at all since your shift ended… you can’t be mad at me for being worried. What? You look like you’ve seen a ghost…” Celia trailed off as she poured herself a glass of wine.

“I saw it…,” you whispered, settling at the breakfast bar in the half kitchen. Celia’s wine stopped mid-pour as her eyes locked with yours.

“What…?” She whispered back, still trying to process what you just said. You nodded your head, unable to make direct contact with her for long. Your tears had tried long ago, making this a lot easier to talk about now, then hours ago sitting in that tiny gray room.

“Shit, you need this more than I do,” Celia responded, topping off her glass before sliding it to you. It only took you three seconds to down it, earning a low whistle from Celia. You were not a wine drinker, but tonight was different.

“There's more…,” you trailed off. If there was anyone you were going to mention the god thing to, it was Celia. Definitely not the detectives, and not the media who had swarmed the crime scene within minutes of detectives arriving.

“What?” Celia pressed, itching for you to spill what you knew.

“I know this is going to sound crazy but… I think I have an idea who did it.”

Celia looked at you quizzically.

“When I was approaching her body, I felt this… buzzing,” Celia’s sharp breath interrupted you, as she gasped. The fact that she already knew where you were going with this, meant your gut was right for telling her.

“It went away once I found her… but then it came back and I saw something. I’m not sure exactly what I saw… but it had a white face-”

“Oh my god!” Celia interrupted, taking off to her room. Celia often studied the mythology of the old world in her free time. She had a library full of books in her closet dedicated to this study. It was something unique about Celia that you enjoyed… Everyone else was perfectly content leaving the mythology behind after The Fall in the early days, when the gods departed, letting humanity crumble and rebuild into what it is today. In fact, many don’t even believe the gods ever existed, the only evidence of them being in the stories passed down, or an occasional destroyed relic found here and there across the globe.

Celia came back out supporting a thick book in her arms. It looked old and heavy, with a permanent layer of dust settled on top of it.

“Would you be able to recognize what you saw if you saw it again?” Celia asked, letting the book slam with a thud on the kitchen counter next to you. As expected, a cloud of dust filled the air.

“I think so, but I didn’t get a good look. There was a small flash of gold before it felt like I came too again,” you explained, coughing as the dust cloud settled in the air. Celia nodded, flipping through the pages.

“Okay, did it look like any of these?” She asked, settling on a page that was in another language. A drawing was nestled at the bottom, depicting a group of 10 individuals. None of them looked familiar, and you couldn’t read the text next to each person to try and figure it out.

“No… it was just a shadow, with this glimmering white face. I could smell the magic radiating off of it.”

“Did you hear anything?” Celia asked, as she began flipping through the book again.

“No… I couldn’t even hear my own thoughts… everything just went silent, and then I got this rush of emotions, that was when its eyes flashed gold and I was back in reality.”

Celia stopped mid page flip, turning slowly to look at you. Her eyes looked distant, like she wasn't actually looking at you, but trying to hold on to her train of thought. You waited patiently for her to figure out the pieces.

After a few seconds, she started furiously flipping through the pages, heading back to the 10 figures from before.

“Okay, so these are the eternals, they were a group of gods who once lived here, protecting the civilians of the old world… until something happened and they split, causing this one, right here, to go rogue. He held the other eternals under his capture… You see, he has the ability to control others with his mind. He can influence someone's emotions, actions, etc., but just getting into your head. Well when he went rogue, the lore goes he began this maddening killing spree- that the weight of humanity had crushed him, creating this monster-” Celia paused to flip a few pages forward. “Here… the masked being you see here…that was him. He donned a mask made from the skin of his first victim- Alexander the Great-, and then went on this spree of murdering all the corrupt and evil people in the empire at the time. There isn’t much to what happened to him and the other gods after this spree…, it just kind of ends there, which is why many of us think he actually still resides here on earth, especially with the rise of common people feeling this god magic you felt tonight. Maybe he found a new mask, to be unrecognizable? I’m sure some dead guys’ flesh from the old world wouldn’t hold up all that well…” Celia ended with a chuckle.

“Anyways, his name is Druig, and he usually is associated with gold too- all of the eternals are. It's unique to them, compared to the other gods of the old world. A cosmic sort of magic that isn’t of this world. But the flood of emotions, and you feeling like you’re in another reality during it… that makes me really think it's him.”

You sat, digesting all the information Celia just gave you, overlooking the paper she was reading from. There was another drawing, this one more detailed. It depicted the god, standing before a dead body, a knife in hand.

“Wait… does it say how the victims of his spree were killed?” You asked, holding your breath as you waited for Celia to translate the old Greek text.

“Yes… a sheath- so, like a knife… wait- what's that look for…” Celia trailed off as she noticed your face drain of color.

“The girl tonight… I mean I don’t know for sure, but it looked as if her… body had been slashed.” You choked out the words, as the images of her torn dress and skin came back in your mind.

“Woah… Okay, so this could definitely be him then,” Celia muttered.

You sat, staring at the masked drawing in the book. This didn’t make sense… he was still in the alley when you were there, yet he let you live.

“Does it say anything else about him that might be helpful to know?” You asked. Celia read through the pages, her finger tracking as she translated the text.

“Just that anyone who comes into contact with him doesn’t have long to live…,” Celia trailed off, as she connected the dots of what she just read to your current reality.

“Oh shit…,” she closed the book, turning her full attention to you.

“Yeah… oh shit.”

Part 2

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lixenn · 7 months ago

Note

I have some questions for Dave this time hehe

What was his first meeting with Chief like?

What was his original hair color?

I wonder if he gets along with Bel?

*crawls out of trenches, bloodied and covered in mud*

"I-" *huff* "I have fought in war and it was close but! I HAVE WON! The evil snippet has not defeated me!"

So now, I can finally answer this!! I'm sorry that it took so long Ein 🫠🥺🥺please forgive my tardiness 😣

Let me satisfy your curiosity!

Original hair color

Dave's hair used to be this really mousy brown and it just wouldn't do! No! He refuses! It was boring and common and absolutly clashed with his vibe so it needed to be adressed immediately. He bleached his hair the first time when he was 14 and it turned out horrible but he was still happy with his shitty dyejob because at least it was unique!

Dave and Bel

Do they get along? Ohhh boy, honey they get along like a house on fire! Dave and Bel often team up for pranks and mischief (Levi is one of their regular victims lol). Surprisingly Chief doesn't actually mind this relationship mostly because Dave tends to curb Bel's more ... homicidal tendencies. Dave prefers leaving his victims alive (though there's no guarentee for their sanity) mostly because killing them would limit his options for pranks. So when Dave and Bel plan mischief Dave puts his foot down about murder.

First meeting

As for that question....

Have a snippet!

The world is undoubtedly cruel. Criminally unjust. Life is filled with hurdles and hardships, with unimaginable challenges and dreadful chores.

Dan has been kicked out of his own office by an overly worried Lussuria.

(Honestly, the audacity of his doctor, the inhumanity. He is seriously considering a lawsuit.)

Apparently working for ten months straight without a break is “unhealthy” and “terrible for the skin, just look at those wrinkles Dani-boy”. Which is ridiculous in his humble opinion, he doesn’t have wrinkles. His skin simply has more character, more definition, that’s all. No wrinkles here, just a well-developed background story edged into his outer shell.

Nevertheless, Dan is left with no other choice than take the day off since he doesn’t want to deal with Lussuria drugging his tea again. One time was more than enough.

Well, at least he can use this opportunity to finally get some shopping done. His sister Is going to skin him alive if he shows up empty handed to her birthday again. Finding the perfect jewellery set to make up for his blunder took him some time but now he can at least cross that off his list.

He is slandering down the empty streets, enjoying the sunshine on his face, when his peaceful musings are interrupted by a body landing right in his path.

…

What?

Dan must have committed war crimes in his past life, it’s the only explanation. His former self probably kicked puppies for fun and slaughtered babies in their sleep because he can’t even take a stroll in the city without someone throwing bodies at his feet.

Puzzled and slightly annoyed Dan takes a closer look at the young man sprawled in front of him.

The first thing that catches his eye is the absolutely garish shade of neon green decorating the top of his head. Whoever did that dye job needs to be fired. His hair isn't the only thing that needed fixing though. He’s covered in bruises and dirt, blood is dripping from his nose and - Dan squints - is that a tooth on the pavement? Yes, it is. … Gross. Hopefully the guy knows a good a dentist.

The sound of footsteps alerts him to the arrival of even more people. Dan inspects the newcomers in irritation. There are three of them, all clad in ill-fitted suits, hair slicked back and fake gold rings on their fingers, making them look like stereotypical comic mafia goons brought to life. It would have been funny and something to laugh over with Squalo over coffee if said goons hadn’t interrupted his quiet afternoon with their petty disputes.

What a drag.

“You have five seconds.”

“Hah?” Goon #1 sneers at him, somehow turning even uglier in the process. “What do ya want, shrimp? Don’t ya see we’re a little busy here.”

Only sheer willpower prevents Dan from inspecting his nails in disinterest. Instead, he crooks an eyebrow, giving the idiotic trio his best deadpan fish stare.

“Three seconds.”

Goon #2 spots the Varia emblem on his hoodie and the Cloud clocks the moment he recognises what it stands for. He shakily points at Dan’s chest. “U-uhm… boss?”

“What?” Goon #1 snaps, but his gaze follows his friend’s finger and all colour leaves his face. “V-v-varia?”

Dan puts his hands in his hoodie pocket and smiles. “You rang?”

The way they freeze like a deer in the headlights. How they start quaking in their knock off designer shoes when realisations dawns upon them. The fear in their eyes.

Ah… making grown men piss their pants with a single look never gets old.

“By the way,” Dan drops his smile, his voice turning ice cold. “Your time is up. Better start running, boys.”

One would think that the Vendice are on their heels with how fast they scrammed.

Now, with that sorted.

Dan looks back the stranger who’s still lazing on the street. “You okay?”

“U-uhm yes…” he stutters with wide eyes that are filled with something uncomfortably close to awe. “Thank you so much.”

Feeling slightly awkward now, Dan avoids his shining gaze. “Don't mention it.”

“But-”

“Seriously don’t,” Dan interrupts him, combing a hand through his hair. He wishes this interaction was over already. He’s no good with shows of gratitude. “You should let a doctor check you over.” That should be enough polite concern, right? “I will be on my way then.”

Dan tries to speedwalk away to avoid further socialising but is hindered by a surprisingly strong grip on his hoodie.

Only his ingrained manners (thanks Mom) prevent him from breaking a hand and escaping anyways, which is probably for the best, the poor guy has enough injuries, no need to add broken bones to the list.

Dan turns around and sighs. “What is it?”

The young man gives him a solid try at puppy eyes. “What’s your name? I’m Dave by the way! You can’t just rescue me like a knight in shining armour and then disappear off into the sunset. That’s not fair at all.” He adds a pout to his pleading expression, which – in Dan’s humble opinion – just makes him look even more pathetic.

“Have you suffered head trauma recently?”

Dave cocks his head, confused. “I mean, one of them kicked my face for a bit but that was nothing, I’m good! They mostly focused on my upper body and limbs.” He lets go of Dan’s hoodie and lifts his shirt up to point at his battered torso in demonstration. “See?”

“Then, why are you spouting nonsense?” Dan takes a step back after he is freed from Dave’s clutches. “Run along and try to avoid getting beat up by shady men in the future.”

The puppy eyes start to fill with fake tears. “But they keep on finding me.”

Dan is suddenly overcome with a desperate need for coffee.

“And that’s my problem, how exactly?”

The responding grin sends shivers down his spine. It reminds him of Bel’s smug smile after he caught another one of his employees in his wire traps.

“Well, all your hard work would go to waste if they came back, wouldn’t it? So, how about you help a buddy out?” Dave winks and it would have been charming if his face wasn’t covered in dried blood. “You can start with your name and we will go from there.”

Dan barely lifted a finger, is this guy on crack? In fact… Is he trying to con him? This feels like a con.

Why did I even bother leaving my room today?

“Look, Dave,” he begins trying to salvage the situation, ��if I tell you that Varia Housekeeping is always looking for new members, will you go away and let me enjoy the rest of my day off in peace?”

The other man’s jaw drops like Dan got on his knees and proposed instead of throwing in a job offer as distraction tactic.

Dan takes his surprise as an opportunity to exit the premises once again. This time he isn’t stopped physically but a broken “W-wait” still gives him pause and he reluctantly glimpses back. Dave has dropped his cocky façade leaving behind only shattered pieces and a tiny fragment of hope.

“Please. Tell me your name?”

His voice sounds fragile compared his confident tone before.

…

Dan has always been a sucker for the broken ones, hasn’t he?

Fuck it, in for a penny, in for a pound.

“You can call me Chief.”

---

Hope you liked the little sneak peak into Dave's mysterious past 😊! Honestly the delay was mostly because that meeting was fighting me with tooth and nail but I managed to get it done!

I feel like I wanted to add something else but I forgot because goldfish brain lol

Anyways keep being awesome like the legend you are Ein!! Hopefully I could brighten your dim days in study hell 💕✨😊

#ask answered #oc ask #khr #katekyo hitman reborn #khr oc #the housekeeping au #sorry I might be a bit out of it today #exhaustion is haunting my every step #khr dave #khr daniele costa

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kaito-kid1412 · 1 year ago

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The Culprit Hanzawa notes

10/10 it was so funny. I love how Beika is just muder town. Kaito AND Hakuba make an appearance so anything less than 10 is unfathomable honestly.

This is so funny wtf

I love that Beika Town is Murder Town haha

Ran’s hair spike thing being in the top of her head is weird tho :/

Conan being called the grim reaper is so perfect lol

Why is Hanzawa so funny tho. Like he’s so incompetent and weirdly adorable?? Even when he’s having instructive thoughts about murdering people??

The ending song is lo-fi beats to plan a murder to lol

If you’re gonna murder someone, be considerate!!

HAHAHAHA

‘Put down a tarp or something’

‘I’ll have to be considerate which might be stressful.’

Him blushing at Hanbayashi also wanting to kill the landlord LOL

Awww ‘sleepover’

He made a friend lol

CONAN IN THE DREAM HAHAHAHA

Bento box fax machine pffft

DID HE DREAM THE MUDER???

HE’S PSYCHIC!!!??

He listened to his mum’s advice haha

The line to leave hahaha

NO ONE CAN ESCAPE THE DEATH TOWN!!!

100% CLEARANCE RATE!!!?? DAMN CONAN! ‘Collective of special crime fighters’ lol

All officers are out on the field hahahaha

They all hate Kogoro hahaha

His mum is the best :))))

The jet black shower scene

Pffffft

It still hasn’t said who he plans to kill. Is it Kogoro? I thought it might be because he moved to Beika specifically for a crime and idk if he would know someone who lives there, but he would know a celebrity and it’s definitely a ‘he.’ But he had no reaction to Mori’s name last episode…

Awww self-love :)

Pffft Hattori and Conan

CONAN IS ROUND AGAIN!!!!

Heiji’s squint haha

He doesn’t know where to buy shampoo?? What a disaster man

They’re tailing him but Heiji’s hat is backwards

‘Drugs are scary’…I love him

Conan has ice-cream and Heiji gave him head-pats :)

Heiji just holding him while he aims his watch hahaha

Smol sneeze

They followed him into the bath house ToT

‘Crime prevention goods’

Hahaha

Why is Beika Gotham??

The money his mum gave him :(((

RAN!!!!!

BULLET CATCHING LETS GO!!

SHE’S THE BEST YEAHHH!!!!

They party because they’re gonna die???

Lol

Agasa lets go!

Professor this is why Haibara’s telling you to be more responsible with your money…

Wait Kogoro did grow more tolerant??

AN ELEPHANT??? WTF HOW IS HE NOT DEAD???

Are you trying to kill him…

…is he dying??

THREE WEEKS??!!

HAKUBA!!!! MY LOVE HAS RETURNED FROM THE WAR!!! FINALLY!!

Is the bird in the opening Watson the Hawk then?? I thought a bird was a weird choice and the dog appears in the ending…

Also why is he in Beika? I know it’s not that far from Ekoda but like… why??

WAIT A MINUTE BEIKA ISN’T REAL!!!??? WTF I THOUGHT IT WAS!!!! I SEARCHED UP HOW FAR FROM BEIKA TO EKODA BUT WTFFFFF!!! Idk shit about Japan’s geography so I thought it was just another ward in Tokyo.

I love how he always sounds so sinister when he’s just talking about regular stuff.

He doesn’t know where his victim is? I guess it’s probably not Kogoro then…

He’s so enthusiastic for his job lol

On his first day as well hahah

HAKUBA!!! IN HIS FULL HOLMES COSPLAY LETS GO!!

Okay so Hakuba is 17… his birthday’s in August right? So he’s like a year older than Kaito then?? Since I’m guessing this is school time. If Kaito is born in June and Hakuba is born in August and Hakuba is 17 then yeah that’s nearly a year apart… weird :/ And Aoko is born in September and turns 17 wait is that AFTER Kaito turns 17?? I don’t understand the Japanese schooling system… Kaito and Hakuba should be in the year above then… unless Kaito is 16 when Aoko turns 17, then just Hakuba should be in the year above… unless they’re all in their last year now and went up a year since Aoko’s birthday / the blue birthday heist. So Aoko is the youngest then.

‘Blah blah blah’ LOL

Yeah Habuka IS brilliant :D

They’re ALL detectives??!

Aw he admires them lol

Their detective senses are tingling!!

Ofc Hakuba left haha. Bet it was a KID heist note

WATSON!!! THE MVP!

Was that a Moomin cosplaying Sherlock dvd?? That would be the best crossover EVER!!

Damn detectives…

Be a good BOY. IS WATSON A BOY?? I WASN’T AWARE WE KNEW HIS GENDER??

Heck yeah Watson ATTACK!!!

Wait… I recognise that cowlick… is he trying to kill SHINICHI???

Watson has a ‘taste for blood’. Hakuba what does that mean. What have you been doing in England?

He took that so literally lol

Does Hakuba brag about his dad?? Hahha

…dogs can… lock doors? I mean I knew he was an idiot but what??

Solid 10 seconds of silent eye contact lol

Yes get the fluffball….

Haunted by the dog…

480,000 yen is ~£2600… Hanzawa don’t do it… how will you afford rent…

Why are Agasa and Haibara at a pet shop?

THEY’RE GETTING A DOG?

Hakuba’s house is so fancy. Why is there a horse carved into it?? Ofc he has an old telephone.

Woah hi Baaya!!

Yes Hakuba threaten him!!!

Ofc the dog is silly what did he expect??

Awwww he loves it anyway!

Does Hakuba really just trust Hanzawa with Watson? He can obviously take care of himself but still

Gin??? and Amuro??

…why can Pometaro talk…

Don’t make fun of him :(

His mum bought his clothes…how old is he?? Older than college age I guess…

Oh and now he’s insecure…

‘Hippie style’ lol

That’s from a corpse…

‘What exactly is being trending?’…same honestly.

What do you mean you don’t sell black clothes? Oh ofc. Conan would definitely be suspicious.

I love how we don’t see him wearing any clothes. It just makes it so much funnier. Especially when he was talking about his hair being messy and just patting at thin air.

AMURO HE’S JUST AN IDIOT DON’T KILL HIM!!

Aw his mum comes to visit?

‘Have them buy you the entire manga series’ lol

The woes of customer service.

His mum is so nice :(

…is she also a criminal or is it just to show that they’re related.

He’s so mean to her :((

In the English translation/sub her accent doesn’t seem that strange.

:,(

He talks like Beika town is sentient lol

Yeah spend time with your mum!

I love that Watson is just living with him now. Like Hakuba where are you?? Are you back in England?

Does he think the gods are gonna help with his murder plot?

Why are there so many needles there? Conan what have you been doing?

Is he gonna kill Kogoro for littering? Deserved honestly :/

He recognises Ran by her hair spike lol

That’s definitely Kaito. No one else wears such clashing colours together. Also his smirk.

In the preview KID’s hair is brown… is that not Kaito then? Or does DC not make KID’s hair black like MK does?

AOKO!!! (For 1 second :()

Sonoko what is this? Why are people practicing KID’s tricks? Especially one he’s already done before?

He thinks Shinichi’s/Kaito’s voice is nice? Lol

Oh it is a different trick… but it’s still walking on air… I think

Wait so they want KID heists to happen to stop the murders… HAHAHA

Wait no Kaito’s hair is just brown

What does Hanzawa want revenge for? What did Shinichi do to him?

Also why is KID there? What is he stealing?

A clover… haha for luck

Ofc he’s blushing at KID lol

Bro he’s right behind you

‘See you next criminal’ hahaha stealing Kaito’s catchphrase lol

#the culprit Hanzawa #detective conan #4notes

15 notes · View notes

nerdyenby · 1 year ago

Text

Red time :D I’m watching Ranboo

I showed up late and have no idea what the costume is but we love the eye makeup

The unhinged energy is off the charts

I’m so excited for this team, you guys have no idea

Oh my gosh their hair has gotten so long holy crap

What the heck is a weeblewobble

WHY DO HIS EYES MOVE LIKE THAT

I feel like Ran and Aimsey haven’t been on a team together in so long, I’m so hyped

Their skins are so silly goofy

Michela!!!

“What brings you to the bar?” “What brings me to the bar? My issues”

“We’re currently roleplaying, would you like to join?” “Absolutely not” iconic Ant 😂

Ranboo religious reference counter: 1

SCAR :D

The squad :))

Aimsey squatting in front of Scar and talking him into playing fnaf

NO!!! Grid runners is the best game in existence (except sot)

Alright losers, we’re gonna need somebody to have opinions and make decisions, who’s it gonna be?

“I’m pressing my life alert but it’s not doing anything” it’s a crime that no one else heard this

Why is Ant a rsr hater?? Brother, Scar is right there

Rocket Spleef

“My girlfriend :(" Aimsey my beloved

Ran and Scar popping off!!

Ran just absolutely jumping Pete 😂

Grid Runners

Best game time :))

They got this, I believe

I’ve never seen Ranboo lose these, his team always crushes it

Ant is such a good igl, staying back and walking through it with Scar, what a king

Uppies!!! /neg and /pos simultaneously lmao

Oh no….

There wasn’t one specific room that tripped everyone up, it’s was just a bunch of moderately hard ones back to back to back

“Think about the morale deficit” Ran 😭

Aimsey’s chat message 😂😂😂

Battle Box

Ah yes, tnt if your team for science

“Do we want a catch phrase?” Of course we do!!

Holy crap they got swept

The come back!!!

That match against blue was so wild

RAAAHHHHHHH

Scar singing Barbie my beloved <333

Sands of Time

That was the most unconvincing thing I’ve heard, thanks Scar

The initial comms are stunning <333

OH MY GOD THAT WAS SO STRESSFUL

The greed oh my gosh

That was the most intense sands I’ve seen in such a long time oh my gosh

“I think I’m learning to be a good sandkeeper” aismey you’re easily one of the best sandkeeper s in the event, what are you on about <333

RED FIRST!!!!!

My predictions were so rude to them but I genuinely believe they’re a 4th place team

“We got a lot of audience pull on this team” Ranboo and Scar duo unstoppable, real and true <333

SCAR 28TH!!!!!!!

��Minute Maid lesbians” 😭😭😭

The Aimsey and Scar interactions are absolutely everything <333

Ace Race

Oh rip, we lost Oli :(

“If you guys lap me can you give me a little push?” Scar I love you

Any first!!! Red first!!!! They killed it!!!!

The hermits pointedly not asking Scar about his fandoms vs Aimsey genuinely being 100% down for a half hour of Star Wars rambling <333

Parkour Warrior

The way all the streamers just start crying at the top of their lungs when faced with technical difficulties, just stay calm losers, you don’t need to spam

I’d scold Ranboo for being so hard on himself if it wasn’t just so funny

Ran almost ragequitting out of sheer instinct 😭😭😭

Ran losing their absolute mind the entire time and then the perfectly calm “That… is how you do it” once he finishes lol

“Check this out, check this out” *drops from fourth to tenth* *absolute silence*

Ant is such a sweat, I mean this in the kindest way possible but who the heck memorizes skybattle chest loot

Hole in the Wall

Absolutely adore the meta of everyone typing the word ones /g

THE DYNAMIC DUO!!!!!!!

HAS THAT EVER HAPPENED BEFORE?!???

I love how they’re able to maintain the chill vibes between all the stress and hype <333

LOOK AT MY BOYS!!!!

Ah yes, the return of Ran’s third place curse incoming

Ugh I’m feeling a tgttosawaf finale :/

Glowduo messaging each other even when in the same vc is so <3333

Sky Battle

Heck yeah!!

YOOOOOO?!?????

ANT IS INSANE!!!!!!

OH MY GOODNESS HOLY CRAP

Ant on Ant violence!!

Hermit on hermit violence!!!!!

HOLY SHIT!!!!! OH MY GODDDD

If Ran and Aimsey get their first win together I will cry, fair warning

Dodgebolt

This team is everything to me

Aimee giving them back rubs <333

AIMSEY!!!!!!!

It’s Aimsey’s world, we’re just living in it

OH MY GOD

Wait ran has to swear in front of Scar 😂😂😂

GLOWDUO WINS!!!!!!!

127 is not a high heart rate… is it?? I get up to 130somethings just standing up

WILBUR 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Oh my god, I’m crying

#mcc 32 #mc championship #ranboo #aimsey #goodtimeswithscar #antfrost #nerdy’s mcc reactions #cw caps

7 notes · View notes

punkscowardschampions · 1 year ago

Text

Tancy

Teddy: [Coming at you in response to your party post, don’t mind me]

Teddy: Is it private or can anyone join?? 🤔

Nancy: Private parties are only fun when the exclusionary nature is purposeful, cutting and I’m the one making the call

Nancy: I don’t think you’ve given me any reason to axe you from the guest list this time… have you?

Teddy: As your sister’s unlikely to be on it, no

Nancy: How delightful, you’ve had a lover’s tiff

Nancy: You got it in one, obviously my darling sister wouldn’t step foot in here unless to chastise me for something

Teddy: The domestics MUST be catching similar to the boredom

Nancy: Half my friends are finally finished with their boring essays and exams, the rest are frantically rushing to meet an extended deadline they BEGGED for, numbers and fun are way down still

Nancy: Who’s domestic, do tell

Teddy: Oh how relatable & dull

Teddy: I was on holiday with the family but J’s wife’s hormones sent us all packing

Nancy: Tragic, isn’t it

Nancy: Nothing a party can’t solve

Nancy: Ah, Chlo, I saw her mother just the other day in [some boujee shop like even better than Waitrose lol], did let slip how massive she’s gotten, after some prompting

Teddy: It’s despicable, no wonder he’s cheating, again

Teddy: still, you expose it & you’re unfairly shot as messenger

Nancy: Did he ever stop?

Nancy: How mortifying of her to make such a fuss

Nancy: Gutted you got to be the bearer of bad news though

Teddy: Allegedly this brat was announced & he made a disgusting pledge, but I have 0 proof of that other than knowing my brother is that whipped for fatherhood

Nancy: It worked the first time… far as party tricks, she probably wants to work on some new ones but hey

Nancy: Makes sense why you’re so bored too, if you should be somewhere sunning yourself instead

Teddy: It clearly isn’t broke, more’s the pity when they need to do us all a huge favour & stop reproducing

Teddy: heir & spare is redundant if you get yourself stricken from daddy dearest’s will

Nancy: I don’t know, your brother could unload his DNA into me any time he liked

Nancy: She really should do the sensible thing and stop it before it starts growing organs or whatever, she’s hardly maternal, what’s the point

Teddy: I’ll pass that along with your regards, darling

Nancy: Wonderful

Nancy: Who do you plan on bringing or are you coming solo?

Teddy: Who would you like me to bring, aside from J who is otherwise engaged, heartbreakingly?

Nancy: I am devastated

Nancy: Anyone, truly, I just can’t stand being alone

Nancy: [do list some other people around his age that you can think of]

Teddy: Fantastic

Nancy: Oh, and your fit friend

Nancy: I’ve forgotten his name

Teddy: I’m going to need slightly more description, Nance

Nancy: I’m stalking your followers list, hold on

Nancy: did you know your bio has been changed or?

Teddy: Do you want to [a lewd af act] him or [an even more ridiculous one because depends how fit he is haha, but then he’ll be able to guess] him?

Teddy: I changed it, so yeah

Nancy: The second, obviously, I’m not a nun

Nancy: Okay, own it, I guess

Teddy: [a correct guess of who this friend is] will be there

Teddy: & of course, my sister was in the midst of trying to hate crime me

Nancy: Yay, my night has been saved, I owe you

Nancy: Conversion therapy would be more of a serve than rehab

Teddy: She can make the booking when she’s capable of taking cock which isn’t permanently soft, it reeks of her own gay panic

Nancy: I can see it, she is that kind of power lesbian stereotype, love that for her

Teddy: G dresses like one & Seb is such a boi name

Nancy: It would spice up what is set to be another dull marriage, I doubt you’re that lucky, sorry

Teddy: I’m absolutely not 💔

Nancy: You won’t be, I’ve sorted so much gear for tonight

Teddy: [namedropping a dealer we like]?

Nancy: He’s coming and [another one just for fun] they aren’t in like a turf war, I did check

Teddy: Well done

Nancy: I’d get kicked out of here if things got that street, can’t have that

Teddy: The shame, you’d have to relocate to [a postcode we’re shading]

Nancy: 😱💀 How dare you

Nancy: I’d sooner marry your sister’s limp-dick fiance before set foot in that neighbourhood

Teddy: Kindly do take him off her hands, if I have to sit across from him for another Sunday I may just start a turf war of my own

Nancy: Aw, baby gangster

Nancy: Has he no craic? Is it really all just 🤑? Yikes

Teddy: I’m sorry? Translation please, you went all THAT side of your family on me there

Nancy: Oh shut up, you know what it means, how much of a bore is he

Teddy: 100% naturally or I wouldn’t care

Nancy: Maybe you should shank him then

Nancy: at least THAT side of my family has the good grace to be entertaining

Teddy: Do they?

Nancy: You have no idea, darling

Teddy: I’m yet to be invited to one of those parties

Nancy: Count yourself lucky, with my sister, I’m sure you’ll never get that far

Teddy: I’m quite sure I’m over the chase

Nancy: 💔

Teddy: As you said, she isn’t forthcoming with her happy endings

Teddy: it’s becoming an epidemic

Nancy: Last I heard she was still fake gay anyway

Nancy: my family is far too dysfunctional for Sunday dinners though, it’s been a while

Teddy: You should catch up, there have been romantic developments

Nancy: Who with?

Teddy: TBC, officially

Nancy: Hmm

Nancy: If it’s just another closeted lesbian

Teddy: It’s definitely someone XY

Nancy: Careful, that sounds dangerously close to studying, and I refuse

Nancy: As long as it’s someone attractive this time, I may consider offering my sisterly advice and attention

Teddy: I’d expect no less, from you at least, darling

Nancy: It can hardly be worse, what can I do about my brother’s taste for incest?

Teddy: It always can, my siblings fucking each other would be preferable to the humiliating spouses they choose

Nancy: You’d feel left out

Teddy: Possibly, but Chlo & Seb could be left out, in the cold

Nancy: Story of her life, truly

Teddy: Gia would, she’s desperate for that piece of my father & they look plenty alike

Nancy: Too bad he went so, so boring in rehab

Nancy: not entirely convinced they didn’t perform some kind of lobotomy, he’d never go for it

Teddy: Hopefully they performed a vasectomy too, Chlo wouldn’t shut up about having one over on him when she thought he was finally going to leave her

Nancy: Did she now

Nancy: Well, you know how it was back then, don’t you

Teddy: The newest can’t be his, they don’t ever touch

Nancy: Maybe they never did, she’s always been quite the liar

Teddy: He wouldn’t remember, he’s the perfect cuck scapegoat

Nancy: Poor, poor James

Teddy: He enjoys it, he must

Nancy: maybe

Nancy: or she was determined someone from our group was going to be stuck with her, he was the unlucky one

Teddy: regardless, it gives him pity ammo to fire into his affairs so they feel suitably sorry for him

Nancy: Him leaving her mid-pregnancy would be too good

Teddy: Hence he won’t, ever the disappointment

Nancy: Not if you find out and spill what her final weapon is, that would definitely tank it all and you could enjoy the fireworks

Teddy: It’s that he’s not the father, obviously, nothing else would hit close to the same

Nancy: Do you think she’s lying?

Teddy: I don’t doubt she tells him they aren’t his brats a hundred times a day

Nancy: Right, not exactly trustworthy

Nancy: she can’t be so delusional that she thinks he’d care about any of her own pre-porker extramaritals though

Teddy: He didn’t do the cheek swabs when my father tried to lay down the law pre-wedding, he won’t have now either

Nancy: Duh, he doesn’t want to know he was actually tricked into wasting the best years of his life with her for nothing

Nancy: truth always outs though, whether you’re going to force it or not

Teddy: I’m off her godfather & confidante list for the moment, not forever

Nancy: You’ve got ‘til they return to think up a charming apology, the [whatever drugs you know he’s gonna go for] will help you get creative

Teddy: Precisely, it’ll be too easy

Nancy: that she is, nothing to be done about that, I’m afraid

Teddy: That truth has long been outed

Nancy: She did worse at school than me, that was really saying something, I don’t think I turned up for half of my exams

Teddy: & you’re horrifically disabled

Nancy: Who said that?

Teddy: [someone you’re dobbing in whether they actually said it or not, I’m sure they didn’t]

Nancy: They can get off the guestlist then

Teddy: Deserved, it’s SUCH a mean thing to say

Nancy: especially when they look like this [and a photo of this person gurning because we just keep unflattering photos for revenge] when they’re on it, no room to judge

Teddy: Ha ha

Nancy: I’m SO telling [their S/O] when they get here

Teddy: As you should, imagine waking up next to that for a minute longer than necessary

Nancy: The view from here is outstanding, on the other hand

Teddy: Truly

Nancy: You should invite [someone we know he’s in messy drama with, just for funsies, as much chaos as possible]

Teddy: You’re right, if I wasn’t jetlagged I’d have thought of that

Nancy: You poor, poor thing, you’ll have to stay up all weekend

Teddy: Keep me company & I won’t mind

Nancy: That’s the plan, isn’t it

Teddy: You’ve forgotten your plans with [fit friend]

Nancy: I haven’t

Teddy: Then you’re double booking yourself, darling

Nancy: I can multitask, not actually being disabled

Teddy: He’ll be devastated you intend to

Nancy: No one stays long enough to be devastated, that’s the only, if unspoken, rule

Teddy: You can be devastated, or devastate, in a second, that’s another

Nancy: Yes but I’m so nice, everyone knows that

Teddy: I don’t

Nancy: how rude

Teddy: It is, I have so very little intimate knowledge of you

Nancy: Best ask around, you’re far too young for anything but hearsay

Teddy: Age is just a number & not actually being disabled you shouldn’t struggle to count

Nancy: I’m aware

Nancy: your friend is 18 though, right?

Teddy: [lie that he isn’t even though he is because you don’t want her to sleep with him haha, not at all casually claiming this boy is underage when it’s you who is because we haven’t done your birthday yet]

Nancy: No way, he looks like he could deadlift me

Teddy: [not you also starting a rumour this boy is on steroids or something haha, we love to see it]

Nancy: Oh, great

Nancy: he’s going to ‘roid out and trash my place 🙄

Teddy: I’ll uninvite him, I haven’t invited him yet anyway

Nancy: Yeah, I can tell

Teddy: For the record, I could deadlift you too

Teddy: you can’t weigh more than [we’re being flattering, but also I imagine his unit of measurement is something hilarious and boujee instead of stone or pounds or anything normal]

Nancy: You’re so sweet

Teddy: I’m simply not registered blind, that’s all

Nancy: Invite your friend, there’s always room for one more

Nancy: I might upgrade if he does throw the TV out the window or something else cliche

Teddy: As you wish

Nancy: You can stay as long as you like

Teddy: I tend to

Nancy: When do the happy couple get back?

Teddy: [drop that date on her, probably something totally unpractical like late sunday night when Jay has school again on monday because Chlo booked it]

Nancy: I am long overdue a visit, will have to show my face, see how she is

Teddy: She’ll be ecstatic to see you again

Nancy: What can I bring a pregnant woman, I only know what she likes when she doesn’t have to care about a foetus

Teddy: Something she can eat? It’s apparently all she does judging by the size of her

Nancy: You would too if no one would fuck you and you can’t even drink about it, poor thing

Nancy: I’ll bring the booze, just in case she still needs it

Teddy: You’re all heart, Nancy

Nancy: I did tell you

Teddy: I have been known to need telling certain things multiple times

Nancy: That’s okay, it isn’t my reputation you’re interested in tanking

Teddy: Not tonight

Nancy: Good luck

Teddy: I don’t require luck, I have skill

Nancy: and you did admit to being severely lacking on that front

Teddy: As I’m lacking in irish blood

Nancy: Craic, tbd

Teddy: It has no business sounding like crack & therefore distracting me each & every time

Nancy: 😅 Soon, boy, soon

Teddy: What o’clock do you want me?

Nancy: When can you get here?

Teddy: As soon as you ask

Nancy: right answer

Teddy: So, what’s yours?

Nancy: now

Nancy: everyone else is letting me down and being so goddamn boring

Teddy: Okay

Nancy: Okay

Nancy: and if you see [describe a boy that is clearly your boyfriend lol] turn up, don’t tell him like, half the things I’ve said, or do, at least that’ll be entertaining

Teddy: I’ll consider both options equally carefully

Nancy: I need to myself, he’s being a prick

Teddy: How so?

Nancy: I wish it were in an exciting way, just acting like he NEEDS to pass whatever exam he has and that means he can’t come over

Teddy: Would you like me to ensure he fails?

Nancy: Go on

Teddy: You can pay to pass, it’ll also go the other way

Nancy: What would you want in return?

Teddy: What would make you think I want anything?

Nancy: I would

Teddy: Well, perhaps I’m only eager to show you what I’m capable of

Nancy: that would be worth your time, yes

Teddy: I’m aware of your worth

Nancy: Smooth

Nancy: as you’re being kind tonight, I’ll save you your money, he’s likely to fail however hard he revises

Nancy: too many rugby balls to the head

Teddy: [not this boy transferring her however much money he thinks it would have cost him]

Teddy: You take it, buy yourself whatever it was you mistakenly believe him capable of bringing to the table

Nancy: Why do you want me to be alone?

Teddy: I’m on my way

Nancy: I already asked, you didn’t have to do anything else

Teddy: It’s nothing

Nancy: Okay

Teddy: What are you going to spend the money on? Do tell

Nancy: You shouldn’t need three guesses

Nancy: What do you think he brings to the table, Teddy?

Teddy: [send a link to an expensive but also very extra sex toy as his guess because assuming that’s all this dude is good for obvs but we aren’t calling her vanilla or basic with it, unlike Chlo who is literally getting a shady one as her baby shower gift with a note like at least this won’t get you pregnant, again, haha because I’ve had that idea since we first realised he’d be going and a gift would be needed]

Nancy: [gotta be done haha, send him back some even more outrageous options, being wild about it, unclear whether you’re saying for you or for him]

Nancy: Thanks, sweetie 😘

Teddy: I have the [most outrageous one lol whether he really does or is lying] in pink

Teddy: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Nancy: Have to live up to your sister’s expectations

Teddy: [send a link to shade your sister and her life choices, god knows, saying your Christmas/bday gifting is done with it whichever comes first]

Nancy: [send a link to some erectile dysfunction aids]

Nancy: Couples gift 💝

Teddy: You’ve single-handedly saved Christmas

Nancy: You can invite me then, I can’t handle another Dublin Christmas

Teddy: The more the merrier

Nancy: when you’re not related to the more, yes

Teddy: What I mean is, you’re more than welcome

Nancy: When’s the wedding?

Teddy: She has no sense of urgency considering the blatant deadline, dead being the key word

Nancy: Rather, an engagement means absolutely nothing when it comes to the will

Teddy: It would serve her right

Nancy: I’ve had an idea

Nancy: maybe she’s waiting for someone to object and they haven’t yet 😬

Teddy: I have, strongly

Nancy: Yes, not you, obviously

Nancy: an old flame, the one that got away, that’s what I would do if I wanted a grand gesture

Teddy: Oh, that is an idea

Nancy: You should scope out the exes, see if she can actually be saved or it’s a lost cause and you have to see him every Sunday ‘til he croaks it

Teddy: [be stalking them and giving her updates/the tea as you find it just for fun even though I’m sure you don’t know about all her exes remotely]

Nancy: Love how there’s not ever six degrees of separation between any two people in this town

Teddy: Who do you know & who would you love to?

Nancy: [tell him which of these men you or your friends have hooked up with, whether it’s entirely factual or not idk, likewise spilling tea because by your standards I’m sure they’re all very boring]

Nancy: [one of ‘em] is really, really minted though, he’d be a better BiL

Teddy: It would ruin her whole pretence of being a self-made entrepreneur & unbothered by other people’s money, which alone is enough reason to go ahead

Nancy: Bless her heart 😂

Nancy: self-made isn’t an appropriate title for anyone in your family since like the 1600s

Teddy: Why let reality get in the way of a ‘good’ story? But I’m the fantasist, please

Nancy: People are hypocrites

Nancy: but you have a project now

Teddy: Like homework but rewarding

Nancy: Please, you’ll trigger me

Teddy: Come off it, all that was definitely too long ago for you to remember

Nancy: Cheek!

Teddy: I’m under no illusion you’re all grown up now

Nancy: Backatcha

Teddy: Hardly, but I’ll have you convinced

Nancy: Mhmm

Nancy: Door and bar is open regardless, you aren’t that much of a baby

Teddy: Not unless my mother’s a surprise addition to your guestlist

Nancy: Entertaining as that could prove to be

Nancy: I cannot be bothered getting in a fight with another middle-aged woman about her precious son

Teddy: Another?

Nancy: Have you had a serious girlfriend yet?

Nancy: It’s standard behaviour, truly

Teddy: No, but you’re really selling it

Nancy: Yeah, you’d LOVE the attention

Teddy: I’ll contemplate my options

Nancy: Point is, whoever she is, she won’t be good enough 💔

Teddy: A given, I’d be letting the poor girl know that

Nancy: 🙄😏

Nancy: You’re the worst

Teddy: It’s charitable, putting them in their place

Nancy: One for the UCAS apps, sure

Teddy: To be counted toward an extracurricular or work experience as well depending how hard they resist

Nancy: Do you doubt your abilities?

Teddy: I doubt her, whoever she may be

Nancy: Relationships are overrated but

Nancy: doesn’t stop everyone insisting on shacking up same time every year

Teddy: I refuse to believe a power struggle ever is, people are doing relationships wrong, unsurprisingly

Nancy: It’s never a struggle, men only submit when they’re in love, they won’t until then, no matter what you do

Teddy: No matter what you do, maybe

Nancy: Ha ha

Teddy: [send her some hilarious bondage links to make men submit, just for funsies but also we’re always flirting]

Nancy: That’s easy

Nancy: Actually cucking someone like your brother, or mine

Nancy: takes time and skill

Teddy: Most things do, you’re spoiling yourself with the instantaneous fun of [her drug of choice]

Nancy: Why deny myself?

Teddy: Because you’d be heartbroken to lose your edge

Nancy: Not going to happen

Teddy: Good, your ancestors didn’t die in some terrible famine or other for you to be an embarrassment

Nancy: What ancestors? Self-made actually applies, we don’t keep count of who came before

Teddy: I don’t know, the potato farmers or whoever

Nancy: Sounds like you know more about it than me

Teddy: Yes, I’ve regrettably set foot in a classroom recently, unlike some people

Nancy: Poor boy, it’s catching

Teddy: You’ll have to be the cure

Nancy: Looks like it, or you’re going to start talking about revision like everyone else

Nancy: hurry up

Teddy: How dare you, I’d NEVER speak of such things

Nancy: Tell me more about ancient history, Teddy, it’s SO fascinating

Teddy: [tell her about your own, the goss and the kiss and tells, ofc, because gotta be done]

Nancy: You are learning, in fairness, you’ve stopped talking about famine

Nancy: [someone(s) he’s just namedropped] is going to come through later

Teddy: Excuse me, I won’t stop mocking your poor relations or you, by extension

Teddy: Where would be the fun in that?

Nancy: I mean, feel free, I just think you expect me to be offended and I can’t deliver on that front

Teddy: Am I supposed to be offended [the person] is invited too?

Nancy: No, it may change your plans, was my thinking

Teddy: Share yours if you’re scheming

Nancy: It could be entertaining to give them a little extra in the drink they already can’t handle, see what they say and do

Teddy: Very

Nancy: Last party I saw them at they [just list whatever mortification this person went through that you found hilarious]

Teddy: [likewise drop whatever embarrassing stories you have, which I’m sure you were sworn to secrecy about but you care not]

Nancy: I want that but funnier, more

Teddy: I’ll make it happen for you

Nancy: That’ll be why you’re invited

Teddy: ONE of your reasons, sure

Nancy: What other motives could I possibly have?

Teddy: Time will tell, not me

Nancy: For once

Teddy: Would you prefer me to be a discrete bore? I think not

Nancy: You would be correct, your stories amuse me

Teddy: Which is, naturally, my sole motive

Nancy: You’re not doing charity work here, relax

Nancy: it’s obvious what your motives are

Teddy: No, you aren’t from beginnings THAT humble

Nancy: And you’re not here to put me in my place

Teddy: You’re already where I want you

Nancy: [namedrop this hotel like cheers to that]

Teddy: [show up like see, we’re both where we should be because now he’s alone with her there basically which is obvs what he wants]

Nancy: [me like some other people show up please lmao but clearly no one else was as eager to jump on your invite and SOS so of course he’s here first, just grin at him and gesture towards the massive bar that all those rooms has basically because I am sure you already have a drink and he should catch up]

Teddy: [do grab a drink and down it to catch up whether you have to make it or there’s fully a butler here lol, not you also doing this to show her you’re a man and not a baby, sir you are 15]

Nancy: [the poor staff, let them go, you having someone to make you drinks all day is a terrible idea, at what point do they cut you off? Never, is probably the answer there, yikes; pat the seat beside you like come sit, come catch up, even though he is but 15 and you should not concern yourself with any of this]

Teddy: [the way he’s deliberately almost sitting on her hand to do the absolute most immediately whilst looking so angelic and like butter wouldn’t melt, never change, raise your new glass you’ve brought over to do a toast, literally saying ‘to you, and the end of your boredom’ before taking a drink because we love to be dramatic and amusing always]

Nancy: [kicking some distance back between y’all as if to free your hand but in an entirely playful and amused way, meeting his glass with your own and a look like god I hope so, resting your feet on him after this kicking because comfortable and must dramatically lounge to express your boredom adequately here]

Teddy: [you’ve likewise gotta lounge like a sir Charles cat boy as per, no notes, downing this second drink too but not getting up immediately to get another like you should because so comfortable, picking up her foot purely like he’s checking out her choice of footwear if she’s wearing shoes or commenting on the lack thereof if she isn’t]

Nancy: [you’re probably barefoot as well as not properly party dressed because an impromptu affair and not cool to try hard, though you can groan like he has just reminded you you probably want to change slightly because he has and you have not considered this yet because priorities, kicking him again like how rude lol]

Teddy: [gesturing like should I take mine off as if this is her house and thus a house rule but with a smirk because you’ve been here enough times to know there are no rules and you’re just trying to put the idea of undressing into her mind]

Nancy: [checking out whatever expensive shoes he has on approvingly, nodding ‘sure, I can sell them and escape my humble origins’ going to take his shoes off like lol, so bants, won’t end up in a playfight]

Teddy: [me knowing in my heart that his outfit is hideous because it is expensive and he dresses badly but knowing she’d like it because their tastes are clearly similar, we can’t even talk about this playfight that is ensuing and how quickly it would escalate because he can and will fully lift her off this sofa and be holding her like I told you I could deadlift you, as if that’s the only reason]

Nancy: [it isn’t a vibe but it’s expensive and that’s all that matters obviously, we don’t need to like it to know you two will, hence pulling whatever shirt he has on over his face is purely a distraction and way for you to escape, nothing else]

Teddy: [the LOL from within this shirt prison, icon vibes tbh, as is the way he’s reaching for her throat in such an OTT way like it’s just oh I’m so mad and am gonna throttle you sibling type bants instead of the hot move it actually is, god bless, and the EYE CONTACT when he’s out of this shirt doing that, also iconic, such a LOOK]

Nancy: [doing a dramatic frown so the noise you make seems more outraged in this playfight way than shocked in any real one, shaking your head like you’re getting hair out of your eyes and not as the most feeble attempt to get his hand away ever, giving his face a lil tap like a cat when it does the very slow one before going in]

Teddy: [my boo says skippidy paps and she’s so right for that, using his other hand to move her hair for her, again as if she genuinely needs that, so gently in contrast, and slowly, as his hand more deliberately tightens around her throat for a beat because we’re testing the waters of how much she’ll actually let us do here]

Nancy: [exactly dr phil, we’re not going off but gotta let you know we’re ready to at any moment lol, still, for right now, are we getting you off us, no, not a pussy, just here trying to push you onto your back to likewise see if we can]

Teddy: [let her push you purely so you fall back onto this sofa and can recline even more lavishly and indecently than you were before and can pat the space next to you like she did, knowing that you’ve purposely barely left her any so she’ll be practically sat on you if not likewise fully lying as you near enough are]

Nancy: [laughing at him because he’s such a ham and you find it genuinely funny, keeping him at literal arm’s length by still having your hands on his chest where you pushed him, debating your next move as you bite the inside of your lip, am going to decide it for you in this moment by making someone ring you so you hop off and up to answer that, be it the drugs or your boyfriend or some dramatic friend, whatever]

Teddy: [doing such an OTT 🥺 about this interruption because you know she’ll see it despite said interruption and how good you’ll look doing it and yep that’s totally the only reason you’re not at all gutted about this interruption nope nope, recline for a while watching her but then go and get and have your 3rd drink sir]

Nancy: [WATCHING him do this in silence whilst you let the person on the phone say whatever they gotta say, not replying until it’s totally necessary, at which point you turn around and head towards the bedroom so you don’t need to have this conversation in front of him, not because that would be awkward to do for reasons you don’t want to think about, grabbing a bottle as you go]

Teddy: [catch him loitering in the doorway for that flashfoward to the future and the 1st convo we did when they get the puppy and he’s being all rom com, we can all pretend it’s just because he’s eavesdropping for fun and goss because she made it clear she doesn’t want him to witness this convo but we all know it’s also because he’s gotta linger near her regardless of whether the door is open or closed]

Nancy: [we love a cheeky parallel, whether we’re going back in time or forwards, catch us rolling our eyes because this conversation is not adequately interesting enough to eavesdrop on, we’re not pretending otherwise, busying ourself actually looking for outfits whilst on this call so we don’t just stare at him, throwing something at him partially just to do so but also shrugging in the yes no way to see if he likes whatever this is or nah]

Teddy: [not you just shamelessly coming in and picking her an outfit wordlessly, holding things against her and staring to do the most ofc, never waiting for her reaction to an item before he discards it or tries pairing it with something else, behaving like a stylist or controlling bf, we love to see it, throwing his final lewk on her bed or a chair the way she threw something at him, as if this is casual]

Nancy: [just letting him do this and silently judging his taste and also learning what he likes all at once, why would you not, giving your best poker face to not give away what you think of this final selection, or whether you’ll put it on, reclining on your bed because this person won’t stfu and you can’t let that be known ANY other way, oh no]

Teddy: [coming and taking the bottle from her, whether that’s literally from her hand or from where she left it, because regardless after taking a swig as if that’s your reward for a very hard job well done you’ll have to return it, be that back to her hand or into her hand now instead of where she left it and either is an excuse to be up close and personal and !! before you then strut out with all the confidence of knowing she’ll wear the outfit and she therefore needs you to gtfo so she can put it on, we all know he’s lingering in the doorway again for a sec though first, holding onto the doorframe like he’s gonna use it either to propel him into the room again or properly out, hitting her with a final LOOK before going]

Nancy: [take the drink and take a drink because becoming more and more necessary to be shitfaced, to deal with the fact y’all are still alone and hopefully by the time you have dressed, you will not be because how long can y’all do this dance of lingering looks and touches]

Teddy: [we’ll cockblock y’all by saying that’s the case because we don’t want anything to happen yet, soz not soz to that friend he didn’t invite and told her lies about because you could’ve been the lucky guy but he absolutely was not bringing you hun or letting you know a thing about this party]

Nancy: [we will do what we gotta do, it’s also just realistic, you’re not going to be left alone for long when she put the call out that publicly; we been knew you would not invite that friend and we will have to bring it up when we remember because lbr, not that concerned when we’ve got all this going on]

Teddy: [mhmm, I’m sure she’ll come out of the bedroom and he’ll be making out with some random in such an extra manner because of the tension between y’all that we aren’t letting you address for 2 years, he’ll be on that sofa doing the most with some girl who isn’t you but will do for rn]

Nancy: [thank GOD there are going to be people for you to distract yourself with because you don’t need to say or do a damn thing about that, pretend you aren’t even looking for him when you come out in this outfit even though he was the only person here previously]

Teddy: [me like we’ve GOTTA say this is the girl she ref-ed asking him if he was still with her at the start of their first ever Grace era convo purely for the pettiness because there’s no way he has been with her for 2 years and that means you know that damn well and were just saying it to bring her up and I love that, especially if he wasn’t even with her seriously because what a deliberate throwback then sis]

Nancy: [my boo says we will be the absolute drama, unhinged behaviour you love to see, speaking of, find your dealer immediately and piss off into the nearest bathroom with this man]

Teddy: [time it deliberately so that you go into the bathroom with this girl, whether to hook up or to do drugs or both because leaving it to Nancy’s imagination is always more of a serve, as they come out of it, doing the thing he does in the future where his hand is on Nancy’s lower back as he needlessly steers her out of the door/his way]

Nancy: [scoffing like you are so above these baby antics like god bless you crazy kids, pushing him not dissimilar to how you did earlier but entirely different vibe, holding onto this dude so you don’t fall out the door yourself]

Teddy: [when you’re essentially ignoring her entirely (and the random girl too lowkey soz hun) in favour of speaking to this drug dealer for a sec because that sort of bitch, making both these girls have to stand here because Nancy is holding onto him and Teddy is in a similar way holding onto this girl so she can’t go ahead into the bathroom without him, enjoying prolonging it for as long as you can before this dude is like okay bye and you go into this bathroom finally to do what you’re gonna do, which assumedly is drugs and some sort of hookup whether that’s fully or oral or whatever]

Nancy: [free yourself from this moment and go party, sorry to this woman but we will not be acknowledging your existence, even though, presumably, you know of us on some level to be here lol, so petty, we do not care]

Teddy: [we all know he LOVES how blatantly she has cut this girl dead, soz hun, hence giving Nancy a LOOK as she goes and he disappears into this bathroom for the antics he’s gonna pretend are with her despite being nowhere near as good and this girl clearly not fully delivering on this roleplay she doesn’t know she’s a part of]

Nancy: [always down to cause drama for literally no discernable reason, likewise sleeping with the boyfriend of the girl Teddy said badmouthed you even though you have no proof and do you even care, no, but we’re going to go there when y’all arrive]

Teddy: [as is he, I’m sure he’ll start some drama with that person who she said is coming, these messy bitches just love the carnage, speaking of, me here wondering if we dare to let any other moments happen between y’all or we should be restrained and not]

Nancy: [a nice evening cannot be had, well, you will enjoy yourselves but these randoms are getting screwed over for your entertainment as per; on the one hand, the vibe is very much too ‘busy’ to have any moments but you’re also patently not so maybe we can get away with some more?]

Teddy: [not saying they have to be big dramatic moments but I am saying this place is clearly big enough that you can get away with having some, I vote that she has a balcony like some of the rooms did and they find each other there at some point because he needs a breather from this girl who has been lead to believe they are !! for each other now and she can have any number of reasons to be out there, smoking etc]

Nancy: [hopefully not wobbling off it lmao, it’s always a good idea to get fresh air at some point in every party and you are going to need to, lol at Teddy talking himself into a relationship here, god bless, this girl turning around to peer at him like ‘oh, hello’ as if you’d forgotten he was here, holding out a bottle you have no business having at this stage but we still out here]

Teddy: [a ‘hi’ like it’s casual as he takes the bottle from her, steadying her whether she needs it or not actually with his other hand because it’s an excuse to touch her and he’ll always take that, but he’s out of it too at this point so almost dropping the bottle/tipping it because he wants to do it two handed and he’s not realised he took that and should be swigging from it, but we’re just amused by any spillage caused and steering her away from the puddle with the same lower back hand move ultimately]

Nancy: [going to ‘wrestle’ this bottle back from his clumsy grip but using it as an excuse to put your hands over his on said bottle and just leave it there, being closer to each other again as a result ‘good night’ as a comment because of the mess he is, smirking and shaking your head]

Teddy: [me like omg they love a hand hold and this is lowkey the first ever, like you aren’t but you lowkey are, spinning her to look out at the sky from this balcony like let’s see if it is, again purely just to touch her and be stood behind her, cannot resist yet another flashforward this time to when they were at the engagement party and he pulled out the label of her dress, doing it now to make that hit different (because someone else bought it for her) with the outfit he picked like he’s so proud of himself for his choices/must see who the designer is in this dim light and this half cut instead of just touching the back of her neck indecently, his head bent like he’s actually trying to read and isn’t simply breathing against her skin with his hmm sound like he’s considering her question/comment so seriously]

Nancy: [when it’s clearly more like the early AM and this pleases you so your smile is almost audible as you are looking over Soho and the people below either also still partying or getting up for work, turning your head back, so you can brush your hair against his face/see what he’s doing like you need to know, smoothing this outfit against yourself in a way that makes it cling to you and he’ll be able to see up close from over your shoulder, because a casual move that isn’t for anyone’s benefit, yep ‘your taste can be passable’]

Teddy: [when you can feel her vibe and it makes you feel likewise happy in a way that she’d likewise be able to just feel coming off you, it’s a nice moment of shared solidarity and feeling, we stan, moving to brush her hair back again like he did earlier but by the very nature of how drunk and high they both are it’s much less soft, not to mention this boy IRL and thus as a character likes to wear a lot of rings so I imagine one of those getting caught in her hair and making the move so !! because not only is it PULLING but then he’ll also have to spend a sec untangling her, which we can’t even talk about the closeness of, but finally able to appreciate this ootn and the move she pulled when he’s managed that ‘yours, I simply pulled it off a hanger’ because your clothes and your taste so if you’re shading his choice you’re shading yourself lol]

Nancy: [when you can’t adequately put words to any kind of being mad at him, faux or genuine, because you’re far too into it and a mess to fight either of those enough, just looking at him with the !! you aren’t explaining or excusing here ‘Yeah, I was being polite’ as you’re smoothing your hair down after he’s been all up in it ‘remember?’]

Teddy: [‘why?’ with the genuine sort of incredulousness of someone who is never polite and sees no reason to be because he faces no consequences for not being, twisting said ring around on his finger as though that’s just a casual action of him readjusting it so it doesn’t fall off or anything/ the idea of politeness is a such a boring concept but really he’s gotta because it’s been all up in her hair and he’d LOVE for a hair of hers to be stuck there but idk if it is because I can’t remember what rings you’re rocking off the top of my head and if any of them allow for that design wise by having like a stone or something for it to be caught round so who can say]

Nancy: [‘I’m nice’ gesturing like duh, hello, despite the fact you literally slept with someone’s boyfriend at this party behind her back and god knows what else general chaos and evilness, because you said you were to him before and the point is we’re shading your taste the rest of the time, of course, here patting ourself down to see if we have any cigarettes because a good time to distract yourself again]

Teddy: [a lol because you know she isn’t nice and you’re into it ‘you’re dressed for it, yeah’ just telling her she looks nice like he didn’t pick this outfit haha, not him shamelessly joining in with this pat down as if purely to help her find what she’s looking for but actually we’re doing the most running our hands over her body nbd]

Nancy: [when you’ve clearly lost or smoked the pack already so you truly are out here doing this for no reason, shamelessly, making a noise of frustration like that alone has you raging]

Teddy: [it’s clearly that point in the night where you don’t have any either so you can’t even be a hero and produce one, instead do a hot move of pulling her into you and her head back to pour some of this bottle’s contents down her throat as if that will relieve her frustration and you didn’t just want to, catching a stray drip/ lbr very messy trickle of liquid with your hand and then indecently putting those fingers to your own mouth, it’s fine, it’s casual]

Nancy: [when the way your body crashes back into his this time is unavoidable and thus you can allow yourself to push back, standing on your tiptoes to be closer to the bottle as if it’ll make this any less messy, can pretend your enthusiasm is solely for the alcohol, thus tilting your head back more and LOOKING at him expectantly is fine too]

Teddy: [letting her feel how that push back got him hard with no shame whatsoever because no fucks are given, hence he’s going from pouring this bottle from a height to pushing it into her mouth so her lips are around it, me like, where is everyone, you’ve been alone on this balcony too long lol]

Nancy: [when you’re fully in danger of downing a whole bottle of something here with how you refuse to stop, dancing against him as if this is for show but no one is close enough to be paying attention yet obviously so who is it for, just working your way down ‘til you’re kneeling in front of him and this bottle, almost panting with the way you’ve gotta stick your tongue out but you’re having trouble breathing]

Teddy: [soz that him and all his antics are only encouraging her to get alcohol poisoning truly, he’ll have her basically deepthroating this bottle neck before he’d let her stop, but at least it’s feasible we can have her choke/gag/retch/throw up when we need to cockblock y’all a bit cos he’s stopped breathing in comparison, just WATCHING her do all this]

Nancy: [no one has ever been more turned on by alcohol, truly, here letting it spill over us even more than he did the first time because we wanna feel it, rip this outfit]

Teddy: [mhmm, the sounds of it all alone would be enough to make him do a lil moan nevermind the sights and how you know she feels and the combo, so he is, thankfully nobody else is entertaining y’all at the moment and won’t hear him]

Nancy: [the sounds you are making are clearly going to get too unhinged to the point of someone else coming over, at which point we’re going to have to think fast on our drunk feet and just involve said person and pour some into their mouth until the bottle is being passed ‘round in this saucy manner like it’s just a game we’re all playing]

Teddy: [great work, someone else can be the flop who throws up and ruins the vibe and the game, there’s always one and it’ll send this boy back inside like lol ew]

Nancy: [I’m gonna do something hold on]

Nancy: Come over now, I’ll send everyone home

Teddy: Everyone?

Nancy: Yes, I just need you

Teddy: How unfair, Nance, I just got here

Nancy: Um, no you didn’t, what??

Teddy: Okay, true, it’s been a while

Teddy: but it isn’t polite of you to kick me out regardless

Nancy: Oh, you

Nancy: go away, I didn’t message you

Teddy: Yes you did, darling

Nancy: Not on purpose, don’t feel special

Teddy: Freud would have a field day with your slip

Teddy: tell me again about how much you need me

Nancy: I’m disabled, you can’t make jokes about it, shut up please

Teddy: It’s my duty therefore to prevent you taking yet another rugby ball to the head

Nancy: Your duty?

Teddy: You can still read then

Nancy: You’re not old enough for a paper round, don’t be talking like that

Teddy: I’m too rich for a paper round, your roots are showing again

Nancy: No, this is natural

Teddy: Please, don’t embarrass yourself OR me

Nancy: I am embarrassed, you carry on as you were

Teddy: We can’t all carry off platinum blonde, being a brunette is nothing to be ashamed of

Nancy: You are looking brassy

Teddy: I am not

Nancy: There’s toner in the bathroom, you can borrow some

Teddy: & deprive your boyfriend of the chance to drink it? I wouldn’t dream of doing something like that

Nancy: How polite

Teddy: Makes one of us, I suppose

Nancy: It was an accident

Teddy: You want me to leave

Nancy: No

Nancy: I say what he needs to hear to come over

Teddy: Message received

Nancy: That makes one of you

Teddy: Quite

Teddy: best of luck with your second attempt

Nancy: Don’t be mad at me, no one’s leaving

Teddy: I am, but no one special

Nancy: Come on

Teddy: Until next time

Nancy: Be like that

Teddy: I’m busy a few hours from now anyway

Nancy: Why?

Teddy: Because my father hasn’t taken enough rugby balls to the head & he’s a sadist

Nancy: Get some [whatever drugs we think will counter the drink and what we assume is still in his system]

Teddy: No thank you, seeing me this way will act as a deterrent for his future ridiculous ideas, I have no interest in remedies

Nancy: Will it?

Teddy: If he has been blessed with any of the sense he claims I wasn’t born with

Nancy: Good luck, honestly

Nancy: parents are unbelievably dim

Teddy: It’s something else that’s catching evidently

Nancy: Ha ha

Teddy: Yeah well

Teddy: Do have fun, won’t you?

Nancy: What else

Teddy: The list would be almost as tragic as the behaviour itself, I’ll spare us both & allow you to focus on said back & forth between you & the other T in your life

Nancy: Okay boring

Teddy: You started it

Nancy: You

Teddy: No, you

Nancy: Liar

Teddy: Go away, I actually didn’t message you

Nancy: I’m going, you keep talking to me

Teddy: [leave that one on read as hard as it would be because you wanna have the last word always + talk to her]

Nancy: [soz boy, at least you can leave and have it that way ‘cos we’ll be watching to see if you do]

Teddy: [gotta love a diva storm out]

Nancy: [hopefully before her boyfriend walks in or it’s that blatant lol]

Teddy: [I’m sure he’ll take ages to arrive if he even does at all, that’s what he’s giving]

Nancy: [would’ve promised more if you had not in fact got the wrong inbox which kinda stopped you in your tracks there hun]

Teddy: [you’re welcome cos a notp for us all there]

Nancy: [as are all her tenuous ‘relationships’ with varying degrees of bad]

Teddy: [mhmm, well we should probably post this as he has stropped off and no more can really be done]

1 note · View note

ggukkieland · 4 years ago

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📕BTS Fic Reads - 2021 March pt. 1

I appreciate all these fics as they’ve provided me comfort, distraction, etc during these times. So thank you dear authors. Sending you love 💖

If you end up checking the fics in this list, please don’t forget to show appreciation by reblogging or giving positive feedback to these authors 🥰.

Note: if link doesn’t work, click on author and go to their masterlist

🥕 Ongoing - most recent chapter [as of date this list was posted] 🥕 Completed - completed one shots | series 🥕 S - smut | F - fluff | A - angst 🌷 with commentary on completed fics (if reading these help)

--- Some are new, some re-reads, while some are past reads that haven’t been reblogged yet. Mostly mature.

🥕[Ongoing Series] - Social Media AUs (SMAUs)

Catching Feelings @na-na-na-nanna - MYG | smau | Goblin!Yoongi, Fantasy, must kiss humans to gain human emotions | Crack, F, A, S [12/?]

Cursed @bloomsuga - KTH | smau with written parts | Supernatural AU, Witch!Taehyung, Cursed!Reader | Crack, F, S, slight A ! [3/?]

Just Facts @yoongiiverse - JJK | smau | Rich Idol!jungkook, Model Dancer!Reader, Enemies to Lovers | Crack, F [5/?]

Kinda Hot @kimnjss - KTH | smau with written parts | Campus Flirt!taehyung, Bestfriend!Reader, Bestfriend AU, College AU | S, F, A [15/?]

Made of Honor @suhdays - KTH | smau with written parts| best friend AU, made of honor!au (like the film) | F, A [18/?]

Best Man @yoontaethings - KTH | smau | enemies to lovers, player taehyung? | F, A, S (written) [6/?]

🥕[Ongoing Series]

🌹 Jungkook

Almost Home [reposted/revised] @angelguk - JJK | 27k+ | Single Dad AU, Nanny, slight Fake Dating | A, F [2/?]

Bands @xpeachesncream - JJK | 55.9K+ | Idol AU, Stripper AU | A, F, S [14/?]

Confident @h0neypjm - JJK | 13.1k | Fuckboy AU, Virgin!Reader | S, F, A ~ [2/?]

It’s a Heartbeat @inkofyoongi - JJK | 23k+ | Enemies to Lovers, College AU, their parents are dating, Jungkook is the South Korean Patrick Swayze and this will turn into a Dirty Dancing!AU nobody asked for 🤭 | A, F, S [1/?]

No Harm List @crazy4myself - JJK | 93.5k+ | Mafia AU, Gang AU, Slow Burn | A, F [10/?]

Normal Kind of Love @/yoontaethings - JJK | 2.5k+ | Actor AU, Exes AU, Enemies to Lovers | A (so far) [1/?]

Open When @iluv-hobi - JJK | drabble series, 2.6k | idol au, established relationship, epistolary | F ~ [2/?]

Picture Perfect @cosmoguk - JJK | 5k+ | parents AU, exes AU (divorced) | A, F | [1/?]

Sleepyhead series @jkstompers - JJK | 18.2k+ | College AU, Seatmates AU, Crush AU (lol is there such a thing) | F, S

Sleepyhead - “you fall asleep during class next to the uni heart throb jeon jungkook, will you fall in love as well?” 1.8wc

Just to Study - “your seat partner asks if you’re free after class, just to study.” 7.4wc

Passing Notes - “a year of crushing and jungkook’s finally asked you out on a proper date.” 9k wc

Supermodel @koogalore - JJK | 10K+ | Exes AU, infidelity AU, Jungkook is a jerk, Curvy!Reader, talks of body image | S, A [3/?]

The Realm @nottodayjjk - JJK | 3.5k+ | Mystery, Fantasy, OC wakes up in a dark place not knowing where she is, afterlife feels | A [3/?]

The Weeping @themfchase - JJK | 6k+ | Medieval, Dystopian, War, Fantasy AU, Romance, angels/demons | A [1/?]

Wasteland @iridescentjin - JJK | 4.5k+ | Sci-Fi AU, Post-Apocalyptic AU, isolation | A (so far) [1/?]

Your Love’s the Only Hoax I Believe In @sparklingchim - JJK | 12.7k+ | College AU, Fuckboy AU, FWB AU, Tutor AU, Unrequited Love | A, S [2/3]

🌹 Yoongi

Birthday Girl @btsarmy9593 - MYG | 22K+ | one night stand AU, Noona AU, Professor!Reader, Post Grad AU | F, S [5/?]

Daechwita @/jinings (temp deact) - MYG | 20k+ | servant!yoongi - king!yoongi, princess!reader, period drama, Historical AU | All that Yoongi knows is that King Park must be killed- he just didn’t plan falling in love with his daughter along the way. | A, F, eventual S [2/?]

Silent Dreams @starlightauroras-writes - MYG | 5.7k+ | Best Friend AU, sleeptalking OC while dreaming dirty thoughts about her best friend | S, F [1/?]

🌹 Multi/OT7

Holy Trinity @koyalov - JJK x KTH x PJM | 9k+ | FWB AU, infidelity AU (other woman), Rockstar AU, Band AU, Bestfriend!Jungkook, FWB with other maknaes (yes it’s complicated) | A, S [1/?]

Playmates @scribblemetae - OT7 | 22.6k+ | Idol AU, Sex Worker AU, Strangers to Lovers | S [2/?]

Roses @heejinnien - OT7 | 12.7k+ | Crime AU, Mystery, Horror, OC becomes target of the unsub | A [4/?]

by Author

Foxymoxy [AO3] - (JJK) been following this author since last year (A Sea of Indigo, Hybrid AU) and her fics are amazing. Currently subscribed to these three (out of four) fics which get updated weekly: 🌷

Meadow (Wolf, Shifter AU, Arranged Marriage)

Amended (Arranged Marriage, Fake Marriage, Police Office AU, Childhood Friends, Enemies to Lovers)

Lowlander (Fantasy AU, Enemies to Lovers, Fighter Jungkook)

@jimlingss Drabbles 2021

Three Peas in a Pod || Fluff || Namjoon || Single Dad!AU 🌷

Suspended, Seduced, Surprised! || Fluff || Jungkook || E2L

Lotus Blooms in Mud || Angst || Jimin || Historical!AU

Buttering Up || Fluff || Yoongi || Chef!AU

The Office Trip to Pound Town || Smut, Fluff || Taehyung 🌷

Snow White and the Park Ranger || Fluff || Seokjin 🌷

Humdrum Amore || Fluff || Hoseok 🌷

Awaken Again || Angst, Fluff || Namjoon || Sci-Fi!AU 🌷

The Soulmate Gift || Angst, Fluff || Yoongi || Soulmate!AU

Floof’s Tail || Fluff || Jimin || Hybrid!AU 🌷

Take What Isn’t Mine || Smut, Angst || Jungkook

Crocodile Tears || Fluff || Hoseok || Pirate!AU 🌷

🥕[Completed Fics/Series]

Namjoon

Little Red @/bloomsuga - one shot | 22.5k | Werewolf AU, got lost in the woods, inspired by Little Red Riding Hood | S, F, A

Pheromones @rmnamjoons - one shot | 17.5k | Spaceship Captain!Namjoon, Botanist!Reader, Sci Fi AU, Pining | S, F, A 🌷

Stuttering @moonlightchildz - one shot | 11.6k | Tutor AU, Underground Rapper, College AU, Secret Identity | F, S 🌷

There’s a Fly in My Soup @sahmfanficbts - drabble | 1.8k | Cafe Owner x Customer!Namjoon, Cafe AU, Strangers to Lovers, Crack | F, A (in form of one very stressed OC) 🌷

You’ve Got a Friend in Me @wwilloww - one shot | 3k | Bestfriend AU, Roommate AU, interesting idea to reduce stress levels | S 🌷

Seokjin

All I Ever Wanted @hayjeon - one shot | 10k | Teacher AU, Enemies to Lovers AU | F, S 🌷

Voicemail @joonary - one shot | 7k | College Podcast AU, Friends to Lovers, Pining, Bestfriend AU | F (💕fluffy day reblog) 🌷

What Made Us Feel Human @joonsgalaxy - drabble | 2.3k | Neighbor AU, thought neighbor’s noise is due to sex but it’s something else, Crack | F 🌷

Yoongi

Accidents @jungxk - drabble 2.4k | Dad AU, Comedy | F (💕fluffy day reblog)🌷

Are You Still With Him @/joonsgalaxy - drabble | 1.7k | Roommate AU, Producer AU, Friends to Lovers, secret pining, use of song lyrics in the fic | F (I really love how it made use of different song lyrics in the story) 🌷

Avec Mes Souvenirs @palpitate-hyperventilate - one shot | 3.5k | Nikita!AU, Assassin AU, Trainer Yoongi | A

Dad Yoongi + Pawful Experience by obiwrites (through reblogs of her old posts) - drabble | 2.1k | Husband AU, Dad AU, presence of Holly and one resistant Yoongi | F (ugh this is the cutest) 🌷

Earn It @sugasbabiie - one shot | 5k | College AU, Professor AU, PWP, PLOT TWIST! | S, A 🌷

Hidden Stars @jungblue - series [5/5] | 37.3k | Idol AU, Love Triangle, some reference to infidelity | A, F, S (a reblog of old faves) 🌷

In Character @kookingtae - one shot | 5.7k | Pornstar AU, “actor au where yoongi plays a burglar who breaks into your house and has his way with you.” | S 🌷

Listen Closely @avveh - one shot | 12.2k | Office AU, Coworker AU, accidently received a recording of Yoongi 🌶🥵💦 | S (reblog) 🌷

Love Language @gukslut - one shot | 5.3k | Established Relationship, use of the Love Language concept | A, S, F (reblog) 🌷

Overstayed Welcome @kaep-jjjang - one shot | 7k | secret crush on yoongi, yoongi to the rescue when a one night stand won’t leave, friends to lovers | S

Selfish @write-this-way-please - two shot [2/2, sort of discontinued] | 3.8k | Coffee Shop AU, kinda hated each other, then a bit of surprise by end of Part 1 | Part 2 feat Namjoon | S, A

Slip @kinglykook - one shot | 5.2k | Roommate AU, Enemies (kinda), OC slipped | S (a rediscovered fic 🤩) 🌷

Tsundere @dovechim - one shot | 11.2k | College AU, Resident Advisor | S, A (a reblog) 🌷

Hoseok

To The Beat of My Heart @jeonggukingdom - one shot | 7.2k | Dancer AU, use of mirror 🥵💦| S, pwp 🌷

Written on Our Veins @army-author - two shot [2/2] | 33.2k | Soulmate AU (💕heart day reblog) 🌷

This is Not a Love Story @sincerelyourfangirl - one shot | 8.7k | breakup au, infidelity, but happy ending for OC | A 🌷

Jimin

Cordially Jimin @kpopfanfictrash - one shot | 6.1k | Office AU, Epistolary (through correspondence), Humor | F (💕fluffy day reblog) 🌷

Saturday Mornings @craztextae - drabble | 2.2k | Pining AU, Strangers to Lovers(?), Plot Twist! | S 🌷

Girls Like You [Don’t] Run Around with Guys Like Me @ktheist - one shot | 4k | popular!reader x shy!jimin, Rich Kids AU, FWB AU, College AU, ends as CEO (PJM) and Racer (OC) | A, F

Taehyung

A Letter in Roses @artaefact - one shot | 8k | Husband AU, CEO AU, appearance of Yeontan | F, implied S

A Timely Malfunction @/joonsgalaxy - drabble | 2.9k | time travel, friends to lovers, prompt: “What? No, I never said that.” | F

College FWB Drabble + PDA + Miscomm @yukheii - drabble | FWB AU, College AU | F (seriously this is super cute) 🌷

Handsy @jinned - one shot | 3.7k | Roommate AU, Bestfriend AU, Childhood Friends AU, Pining | taehyung helps her during time of need | S, F 🌷

Hold Still @/joonsgalaxy - drabble | 2.1k | CEO AU, use of flashlight 🙈 | S, pwp ( I’ll Never look at flashlights 🔦 the same way again)

Not Even Close @lovetrivia - drabble | a powerful 600 wc | enemies to lovers, college au, hookups | S, pwp, A 🌷

Of Mages and Swords @masterninjacow - one shot | 40k | Fantasy AU, King Arthur AU, Royalty AU, Action, Romance | A, F 🌷 #holygrailfic

Potent But Not Real @whatifyoulivelikethat - one shot | 5k | Assassin AU, Office Worker Taehyung | S, A

Talk Slow @writtenwhalien - one shot | 6.4k | brother’s best friend, Exes AU, never have I ever game | A, S, F

The Temp @jkeuphoriadreamland - one shot | 8.2k | Enemies to Lover, CEO AU, Taehyung has arranged marriage with someone else (headed for divorce) | S, F 🌷

Jungkook

gets a separate post due to too many fic reblogs 😬 (see link below for PART 2)

I love to read so feel free to recommend a fic posted: 2021 March 24 link to other reading lists | Mar Part 2

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never-mess-with-the-uchihas · 3 years ago

Text

Before reading this post, I don't hate Hinata. This post was just made because some Hinata Extremists - who hate Sakura - were filling my inbox with bullshit. So, this is just to annoy those idiots. You don't get to poke me and just get away with it.

HINATA HYUGA:

- Offers Naruto a cream for his wounds(non-existent) - Cuz it's Naruto-kun.

- tries to save Naruto during pain arc - Cuz its Naruto-kun

- tries to save Naruto - fails - Neji dies instead - not her fault though - Cuz its Naruto-kun.

- thinks about Naruto's big and warm hands in front of Neji's dead body - Cuz its Naruto-kun.

- Keeps knitting a scarf for Naruto in the middle of a mission where her sister is kidnapped - Cuz its Naruto-kun.

- Shows more reaction to her scarf being torn-off as compared to when she found our her sister's eyes were torn off- Cuz its Naruto-kun's.

Naruto Fandom : SELFLESS!!! HINATA THE BYAKUGAN PRINCESS !!!!

HARUNO SAKURA:

- Steps infront of Tazuna to protect him with her body (Someone she barely knows)

- Protects Naruto and Sasuke in the Forest of Death without sleeping.

- Gets beaten up to bone to stop the sound Ninjas to hurt Sasuke and Naruto.

- Saves Sasuke from the darkness of Curse seal.

- Steps Infront of Gaara to protect Sasuke - actually manages to stop him.

- Gets herself hit for Idate(Someone she barely knows)

- Tries to save Sasuke from darkness and stop him from leaving the village

- Saves Kankurou's life - where no one else could

- Gets herself stabbed and poisoned to save Chiyo(someone she barely knows) - who in turn saves Gaara.

- Gives antidote to Chiyo despite being poisoned herself

- Defeats Sasori with chiyo

- Says that She will blow off her arms and legs just to get know Orochimaru's whereabouts just to get to Sasuke.

- Tries to save Naruto from Nine Kyuubi consuming him, without worrying about herself.

- Heals Naruto first instead of herself Doesn't tell him that he was the one who hurt her.

- Heals Naruto several times.

- Heals hundreds of injured patients during the pain arc.

- Saves Tami from being attacked by the giant Centipede.

- Always tries to lift up Naruto's spirit despite being down herself. (In case of Sasuke and Tsunade)

- Decides to take the burden of killing Sasuke,the man she loves upon herself, just for Naruto's,Sasuke's, and Konoha's sake. Just to protect them in her own way. Even though she knew she was going to die.

- Let's patients in the medical camp during the war, knowing that they could be the white zetsus... But still can't let go of her kind heart.

- Saves Naruto and literally pumps his heart with her hands.

- Hesitates to Stab Obito's eyes because She knew He had turned good now. She always had a kind heart.

- Can't let go of her love for Sasuke, despite the fact that that he had tried to kill her. Can't let go of her desire to save him.

- Saves and heals hundreds of lives in the battlefield and as well as the medical camp during the war.

- Saves Sasuke from the Desert dimension, with everything she has got.

- Doesn't think about his sexy and Warm body when he catches her. Lol I had to add this 😂😂. Instead worries about Obito to check if he is fine.

- Punches a god. And helps to seal her. And So helps to save the world

- Tries to save Sasuke from being consumed by the darkness again.

- Saves Naruto and Sasuke from bleeding to death, after their final battle in the Valley of the end.

- Saves Naruto's life. Pouring her chakra in him for 3 days.

- Opens a mental clinic for orphans who suffered during war, so that they don't have to go through what Naruto and Sasuke did.

- Defeats Kido who was impersonating Sasuke and committing crimes.

- Defeated Shin and beat him to pulp for looking at her family - two times!

- Oh! Saved Hinata Princess's life multiple times!!!!!

- Oh! She also saved Karin's life.

(And I haven't even listed all her achievements)

Naruto Fandom: USELESS SELFISH BITCH !!! SHE IS SO SELF CENTERED!!!! HER ENTIRE EXISTENCE IS AROUND JUST ONE BOY!!!!! SHE SHOULD HAVE DIED IN THE 3RD CHAPTER OF NARUTO!!! NO CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!

Me:

#sakura haruno #pro sakura haruno #haruno sakura #pro haruno sakura #sasusaku #narusaku #pro sasusaku #pro narusaku #narusasusaku #pro narusasusaku #anti hinata fandom #anti hinata hyuga #anti hinata #uchiha sasuke #uzumaki naruto #naruto uzumaki #team 7 #anti hinata extremist

544 notes · View notes

greenygreenland · 4 years ago

Text

Dream A Little Dream Of Me: Norman x Reader

-MANGA SPOILERS! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

-NOTE: YOU’RE BOTH AGED UP SO DON’T START TELLING ME FBI’S GONNA COME TO MY DOOR 😂😂

-THE TIMELINE IS A BIT MESSED UP SO JUST IGNORE IT COMPLETELY AND DON'T ASK ME LOL

-also, is it just me or do thick eyebrows look really cute??? Norman has pretty thick brows compared everyone else and I think they're cute

WARNINGS: Kissing lol

Summary: You finally see Norman again.

Life had to be the scariest thing you'd ever faced. It threw the bad, the good, the everything your way until you could barely stand. Until you were left broken and mangled and shattered. Life was scary. It was cruel. Yet somehow, today was different.

You thought it was a dream. After all, how could it be reality when the boy in front of you died a year and some months ago? He had been shipped out, left for dead because it was a part of his stupid escape plan.

So how was it he stood before you? Breathing? Smiling? Living?

The office door closed behind you with a soft click. It bathed the room in silence, as if for a moment, the world decided to give you a second to breathe. A second to take in the wonderous sight before you.

The boy's name stuck in your throat. He had changed, not only in height, but stature and appearance. Norman was older, and he grew up to be more handsome than any runway model could ever be.

"(Y/n)," he gently said. "I'm glad you're well."

That was all it took. One sentence and you tackled him in the tightest hug your trembling arms could muster. "Norman...!" To have his arms around you, to hear the beating of his heart--it was a relief. A miracle sent by the gods. "You’re so stupid!"

No, he was more than stupid. He had to be the dumbest boy alive to think that it was okay to sacrifice himself for the sake of your family. You all were supposed to escape together just like Emma said. No one was supposed to be left behind, yet Norman--bless his heart--acted on his own.

You hugged him as if he would disappear if you let go. "We were all supposed to leave together. But you--I thought you--shipped out--and then--!" You chocked on your words. What more could you say anyway?

You buried your face in the crook of his neck. The muffled sob that ripped through your throat was more than Norman could handle. His knees went weak and you both slowly sunk to the floor in a heap.

"I'm here." he gently said. "I'm not going anywhere (Y/n)."

Despite the steadiness in Norman's voice, his shoulders hitched, and he sniffled. "I'm here." he repeated. "I-I'm here." It sounded like he were reassuring himself that he wouldn't leave you so soon, as if he were scared too. Not for the way you sobbed and sobbed, but for the ache in his heart that seemed to beat in sync with yours.

Slowly, your sobs turned to quiet sniffles, which then silenced into nothing but tiny hiccups. You basked in Norman's warm embrace. He didn't hold you too tightly, as if he were afraid it would shatter you to pieces. Instead, he pulled you close to his side and leaned on his desk behind.

You rested your head on his chest, taking the time to memorise his scent. Parchment, the woods, and old books. You liked that, it was comforting to know he still smelled the same. On the other hand, his voice wasn’t as smooth or rounded as it once was. It was icy. No one seemed to notice that tiny sharpness that hit the end of each note he spoke. You wondered what could've made his kind heart harden.

Sure, Norman was still the same Norman you remembered, but something about the way he acted seemed off. He was clingy, much more than he ever was. Maybe he just missed you? No, that couldn't be right. Norman acted as if he were running out of time. He held you close and gently, as if these would be the last moments you'd see each other again. As if there wouldn't be a tomorrow.

You slowly pulled away to get a good look at Norman's face. His chin was slightly pointier, his cheeks less chubby and full. His lips twitched upwards into a comforting smile. It didn't quite reach his eyes because he looked so overwhelmingly tired. Your poor boy probably worked day and night to keep the hideout on its feet. It must be hard on him, you thought. Especially since he was revered as a god.

Norman's brows raised. "What's wrong?"

You took his thin hands in your own and gave them a good squeeze. "It's nothing. What about you?"

Ah yes, small talk. The perfect way to avoid any question thrown your way. Norman knew you well, sometimes even more than himself. When you asked simple questions such as these, that meant your mind laid elsewhere in a land he could never reach. Norman took that as a hint to drop the subject.

For now.

He wondered what invisible weight laid on your shoulders. Was it something as heavy as his? Perhaps your weight was worse and it ate away at you. Norman wished he could take that weight away and relieve you of that pain. He'd carry it all if he could, and it didn't matter to him if he'd die trying. This was you he was thinking about. He'd do anything for you.

"I've been okay," Norman vaguely responded. "But I have been busy, so I find it difficult to sleep sometimes.”

Norman liked to be honest, but you knew it was because that helped him figure out what was wrong with you. It was a game of tag. In this case being 'it' meant figuring out each others' worries through a back-and-forth match.

"You haven't been sleeping enough?" Your voice came out rather quiet as you traced invisible circles over the back of his hands. "Is that because you have so much work? Or do you refuse to get help?" Norman sat in a still silence and you sighed.

Of course.

This was your Norman after all. He always shouldered a burden too big for his shoulders to carry. It was always something so heavy, so terribly hard to balance by himself. If that burden grew any bigger, it would collapse, and that would be his downfall. But you wouldn't let that happen to your Norman. No, no, no. You'd take that burden from him, steal it if you had to, and be his crutch.

"What have you been doing here?" you quickly added. "As 'William Minerva', I mean?"

Norman looked unbearably uncomfortable. That little frown tugging at the edge of his lips was a tell-tale sign. “I’ve been getting a lot done." he carefully said. "In fact, I’ve figured out a way to end this. Once and for all.”

Norman began by explaining the first phase of his plan. The first phase had long been in motion. It started with the indiscriminate burning of cattle facilities, then the gathering of information, and continued on to pave the way for all the other phases you didn’t care to hear about.

The first few steps weren't too bad, but the final act in Norman's plan made your skin crawl. You half-wished you hadn’t asked him anything to begin with. Maybe it would have spared your appetite. Your grip on his thin hands loosened and loosened until your hands rested on your lap.

Norman wasn't so little anymore. He had grown up just a bit, but not in the way you wished to see. How could he think of something so cold-hearted and cruel? The extermination of all demons in Neverland was an act of genocide. If you re-called correctly, it was also considered a war crime.

Norman was smarter than that. He understood the consequence he'd have to face if that were the path he walked right? He understood that there were still other options right? Maybe you heard him wrong.

No.

You had to have heard him wrong. Norman wasn't ruthless like that. He was a ball of sunshine that made you smile whenever you were together.

"I see..." You tightly smiled. "So that's your plan on freeing everyone?" Norman nodded with a seriousness that took you back to the time he left everything to you and Ray and Emma.

You weren't mistaken then. Norman truly meant everything he said.

"Yes, that is my plan. It's been taking me a little longer than expected to set it in motion. I've decided to officially start tomorrow."

Tomorrow?

Your breath hitched. "Don't you think that's a bit hasty? What if...what if something goes wrong?" Norman smiled. It was hollow and wry and everything that he wasn't. "Don't worry. Fortunately, I've always been pretty good at getting what I want." You didn't return the smile, and you didn't want to say why.

Norman was quick to catch on. But of course he would catch on so quickly, this was Norman. Your Norman.

"Do you have a problem with my plan?" he inquired. You shook your head. "No, it's...it's not that." Yes, it was that. Your plan is dangerous even if it is good, you thought. Innocent lives wouldn't be spared, and that would spell an unfair fate for the demons who ate to survive.

You wanted to tell Norman why his plan was wrong, and why he didn't have to be so unforgiving about it. But then what? Why would he listen when you didn't have any better ideas? He seemed to have his mind set anyway, so no half-baked ideas would make a difference. And besides, he was the smartest person you knew. Maybe that was the only way out of the terrible fate all you cattle children faced.

"If you're okay with my plan," Norman said, "then what's bothering you (Y/n)?"

"It's still a lot for me to take in," you admitted with a plastic smile. "I guess I'm just shocked that you're, well, here." Norman smiled, this time with a genuine warmth. "I understand." He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on your lips. "I'll see you at dinner."

Your cheeks burned. How bold of him. "Y-yeah, I'll see you at dinner." Norman let out a cute little chuckle that made your heart beat a little louder than it was supposed to. You hauled yourself off the floor and made your way to the door. Norman followed.

You flashed him a nervous smile, one that mixed in with your muddled worry and anxiousness. You glanced at his bright eyes. For a moment, they seemed to dim like the setting sun. It reminded you of Mama. When no one looked at her, she didn’t smile. She always looked so sad when she sat by herself, and maybe that was because she was.

"(Y/n)?"

Your fingers brushed against the doorknob. “Hm?”

"I want nothing more than to protect you and our family. I know you don't fully agree with me," his expression darkened. "But this is the way--the only way we can save everyone without spilling a single drop of blood."

For a moment, you forgot who you were speaking to. This wasn't the same boy you begged to run away with before he got shipped out. This wasn't the same boy who gently tucked a piece of hair behind your ear and sweetly complimented you. This boy--did you truly still know him? Was he still the Norman you grew up with and fell head-over-heels for?

You blinked and that dark look washed itself off his face. He strode up to you and placed a hand on your cheek--just like the day he was supposed to be harvested. Norman’s eyes were soft, softer than any blanket, and his lips pursed into a gentle frown. With his thumb, he wiped a stray tear away.

Why were you crying?

"Norman..." You couldn’t find the right words. There were none that could explain the suffering you endured in silence. You worried, not only for Norman, but your family and all those other people in the world you didn’t know about. Norman’s plan--oh how stupid it was--had it changed him? Had it forced him to guard his heart to keep a still mind?

You wondered what he endured while you went on your crazy adventures. At least you had your family, and Yuugo, Lucas, and all your friends. But Norman? He didn’t have anyone but himself. He carried the whole world. Alone. Had he been scared? Worried? Angry that no one came for him? Your heart clenched at the thought.

"Smile,” Norman said. “It’s okay, I promise. I'm here." He gathered you in his arms and you didn’t have the heart to protest. “How?” you whispered. “How were you able to do all this on your own?” Norman helplessly shrugged. “You could say I have connections, either that or I’m just lucky.”

“What will you do after this is all over?”

Norman went still again, as if he couldn’t answer your question. You heaved in a shaky breath. If Norman wasn’t going to give you a straight answer, then you’d squeeze it out of him. “Did anything else happen to you? I’m sure there’s a catch, isn’t there?”

It was like someone flipped a switch. One moment, you were a mess of tears, sorrow, and anguish. Now, something menacing laid in your voice. It was almost threatening, as if you were indirectly telling Norman to dare avoid the question. “I don’t want you dying trying to be everything at once,” you said. “Here you’re revered as a god, and if I know you, then it’s plain that you set yourself up like that. Don’t tell me you plan to die on us again.”

He stiffened.

“I know you Norman, don’t forget that. And because I love you, I don’t want to see you destroy yourself. I admit, I don’t know why you act like you’re going to leave again, but I’ll do everything in my power to stop you.” You pulled away and took his hands in yours. A small smile of reassurance made its way up your lips, but Norman didn’t return it.

No, he couldn’t. And despite all he did, he couldn’t lie straight to your face. Not like this.

Dinner cheered you up. The smiles and laughter that your family shared with Norman made you feel just a little bit better. But how long would it last? And how long would those smiles stay present? All the questions swarming in your mind made you feel sick to your stomach. There was too much to think about, and too little time to answer them.

You forced down the last of your food with a sigh and brought the plate to its respectful place. Everyone was too busy chatting and catching up to notice, but that was fine. It was better that way.

You made your way to a secluded walkway. It was in one of the calmer areas of the hideout that overlooked the lower levels. It was quiet, save for the distant chatter of Hayato and his friends. He let out a bright laugh that echoed through the vacant walkways. What a shame it would be to hear that disappear.

“So this is where you went.”

“I told you she’d be here.”

You whipped around in alarm. “Ray, Emma!”

Ray sharply looked you up and down. He raised a brow and you squirmed under his gaze. He gently bumped shoulders with you. “What’s wrong with you?”

You absentmindedly shrugged. “Nothing.”

“That’s what someone who’s not okay would say.” Emma noted. She settled by your side on the railing and flashed a bright smile. “You were so quiet at dinner today.”

You shook your head. Que another absentminded shrug and plastic smile. “I guess I just wanted to make sure everyone was okay.”

Ray sighed. “Everyone but you?” He leaned against the railing next to you. “Did you and Norman talk at all?”

You froze. ‘Yes’, was what you wanted to say, but no sound came out. The image of Norman’s matured face, the way his his soft lips hit your own, and his stupidly tall build crossed your mind.

Emma let out a gasp and slapped a hand over her mouth. “Ah!” she cried. “You’re all red!” You covered your hands with your face, ignoring Ray’s curious stare.

“What did you two talk about in his office anyway? Or should I say, do?” The glint in Ray’s eyes had subtext you didn’t want to recite out loud. “Rayyyyy,” you grumbled, “shut up.” He sent you a teasing grin as Emma frowned in confusion. “I don’t get it.”

“You’ll understand when you’re older.”

“Yeah, it’s grown up stuff.”

You ignored the warmth spreading to your cheeks and elbowed Ray. “Don’t say it like ‘that’! Now you make it sound like something else!”

He daringly raised a brow. “Like what?” You ran a hand over your scorching face. It was a miracle you weren’t on fire. “No, no, I’m not answering you!”

You shared a good laugh and a comfortable silence began to settle, blanketing your shoulders in a lightness that you hadn’t felt in a while.

Emma softly smiled. “I’m glad we found you.” she admitted. “You looked really sad all by yourself out here.” Ray nodded with a small snort. “Yeah, talk about depressing. But seriously though, did something..?”

Of course these two would see through your façade. Of course they’d understand something was wrong. They were your family, and they didn’t deserve your silence. Your smile shattered. “I don’t know if Norman told you about his plan yet, but it’s...it’s bad. Sure, the demons have done some terrible things to us, but that doesn’t mean all of them are guilty. I want to stop him, but I don’t know how.”

Emma nodded in agreement. “He told us earlier and I don’t like it either.” she firmly said. “Ray and I talked it over and we have a plan, but it’s risky. Like, really risky. It has to do with the Seven Walls and...”

You held on to every word Emma and Ray spoke. Risky was your middle name. Well, not actually, but it was something that became your friend. You and your family looked death in the face too many times to count. What would be another?

By the end of it, you were sure this new plan would change Norman’s mind, or at least convince him to give up the whole ‘genocide’ thing. It was decided by Ray that tomorrow, you’d all talk to Norman. Things seemed to be looking up. No, they had to be.

------------

The halls were empty and you were alone. How was it you got lost in the first place? You made sure to have every twist and turn memorised, so why did you end up in the wrong corridor twice? Ray would surely tease you for getting lost. What an absolute--

You slammed into someone’s chest. A yelp escaped your throat as the person in question lost his footing. He sucked in a sharp breath and went tumbling straight into you. Your back hit the ground as the boy threw out his arms on either side of your head to brace himself. You didn’t need a name to know who you had tumbled into. Light hair, soft eyes, fancy waistcoat and suit.

“Norman?”

He hovered over you with wide eyes. His lips were inches from yours and he was just so, so close.

Thump, thump, thump.

Your heartbeat was so gosh dang loud. Could he hear it? Could he see the way your face burned red?

“Uhm--I--I--uh--”

Why wasn’t he moving? Why weren’t you moving? Why was it so hard to look him in the eyes? A nervous smile broke out across Norman’s lips. He pushed himself off of you and offered out a hand. You gingerly took it.

“Sorry.” Norman said, helping you to your feet. “I wasn’t looking where I was going. Are you okay?” Your gaze darted from his lips to his dazzling eyes and then to his cheeks dusted in red. Your heart wouldn’t stop slamming against your chest. It kept going, and going until you felt like you were about to burst.

“Sh-shouldn’t I be asking you that?” you retorted. “I’m not the one who--you know...gets sick all the time.” You weren’t sure why you said it like that, or why that made Norman smile so cutely, but he was smiling. That made your heart flutter. You glanced around the corridor a few times, and somehow, you kept finding focus on his lips.

What was wrong with you?

Norman caught on fast--like he always did. “Oh I see,” he said with a low chuckle. You swallowed. His voice really did deepen (but you kind of liked it). For a moment, you thought he caught onto your staring, but instead of commenting on it, he intertwined his hand with yours and led you through the winding halls.

“Don’t tell Ray I got lost.” you muttered. Norman laughed and it was like the sound of happiness itself. “I won’t.”

The halls all looked the exact same: cream coloured paint, nature-like decorations, and numbered wooden doors. You forgot what number your room was, so that was probably why you got lost. Norman took a sharp left where you recalled should be a right instead. “Wait isn’t it that way?”

“I have something to give you, so we’re going to make a quick detour.” Norman’s cheeks dusted pink and he looked the slightest bit nervous. “What is it you want to show me?” He flashed you a contagious smile. “It’s a surprise.”

“What kind of surprise?”

“I can’t tell you,” he said with a chuckle, “that’s why it’s called a surprise.”

When you got to his office, you were nervous. Surprises were fun, yes, but in a world where nearly getting eaten by wild demons fell into the category of ‘surprise’, you learned not to like them very much.

Norman closed the door behind you and it softly clicked shut. Okay, you thought. So he was locking the door and making his way over to his desk. Okay, that’s fine. Norman shuffled through a cabinet, that nervous look still on his face. Okay, okay, nothing wrong here. He gently shut the drawer, and as he walked out from behind his desk, you took note of the small little box he fiddled with.

Okay. Okay. Box. Nervous. Locked door. Did he not want anyone to interrupt whatever he was about to do?

Norman heaved in a deep breath. A really, really, really deep breath. “(Y/n), I have never met anyone else like you. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met, and you’re beautiful and kind.” He sunk to one knee and opened the little box. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes!”

---------

You jolted awake with a start.

“Sorry,” Norman said. He scribbled a few words down in his notebook. “Did I wake you?”

Ah, that’s right. After you talked with Emma and Ray, you all met up with Norman and hung out for a bit. But when had you gotten to his office? Much less, fallen asleep? You rubbed your eyes with a shake of your head. Judging by the tired look on Norman’s face, it was way past bedtime.

The heavy cloak around your shoulders offered a welcoming warmth. It smelled like books. It smelled like parchment and ink. It smelled like Norman and it was comforting.

He glanced up from his notebook and curiously met your gaze. “What are you smiling at?” The dream popped up in your mind and your smile grew. “I had a good dream.”

“What was it about?” he inquired without looking up.

“You.”

The scratch of the pencil froze and he met your gaze. “You had a dream about me?” Your cheeks flushed. “Yeah, and you proposed.” Norman’s back went rigid and he turned as red as an apple. “I-I pro--proposed to you?” he stammered. You snickered, a smug smile tugging on your lips. “It was really sweet. And if you’re wondering, I said yes. I was going to kiss you, but then I woke up.” You stood up with a sigh. “It was disappointing, but that’s okay.”

You let out a small laugh and neatly folded Norman’s cloak. You left it on the couch and made your way across the room. “That’s a nice notebook.” you said. “What’re you writing about?”

Norman stilled and closed the book with a smile. “It’s nothing special.” He put the pencil down ever so quietly and stood. “Do you seek my affections?” he inquired. You settled on the wall. “Don’t you have work to do?” Norman looked down at you. His fringe brushed across his eyelashes, and he loosened his tie. Slowly.

Your heart steadily drummed against your chest. “What are you doing?” The false innocence in your voice caused Norman to chuckle lowly. He caressed your cheek with a feather-light touch. “Well, you did say you were disappointed right? Why don’t I make it up to you?”

He rested an arm on the wall with a sly smirk. Your lips connected and it made your stomach flip-flop. The kiss was slow, it was sweet. You found yourself pulling him closer, running your hands through his hair and yanking him over. "Norman?" He met your gaze with half-lidded eyes. "Yes (N/n)?"

"Where did you learn how to do that?"

He smirked and it was hot. The fact that he kept his arm braced against the wall didn’t help either. "Why?" he lowly inquired. "Do you like it?" Your breath caught in your throat and you found yourself wanting more.

Knock, knock!

Norman didn't look too happy about that. He ran a hand over your cheek and gently tucked a lock of hair behind your ear, that half-lidded look of his melting into warmth and love. He made his way to the door, tightening his tie and smoothing out his hair with a quick touch.

"Hello--?" Norman fell short mid-sentence. As soon as your gaze locked with the person on the other side, you understood why. Ray stood in the threshold, just as red-faced as you and Norman, with a sheepish look on his face. “I’ll come back later.” he muttered.

Oh great. Had he been eavesdropping? You glanced at Norman and he glanced at you, then Ray, and back to you. Ray sucked his teeth and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Don’t have too much fun.” he said, a smirk twitching onto his lips.

You made your way to the threshold with a groan. “Rayyyy!”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry.” he coolly replied. “Do whatever, I didn’t see anything.”

PART 2 <--- READ PART 2

NOTE: I spent a WHOLE WEEK writing this. Please reblog so I know you guys like it :)

TIP JAR

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bellarkeselection · 3 years ago

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Ground Smile

Part 1

@hftff-lol requested a part 2. Y/n finally lands on Earth. But her reunion with her boyfriend is intense when her mentor Marcus Kane wants to lock him up.

Bellamy's pov

Gunshots go off killing the grounder that holds me and Finn captive. Slowly people from the Ark break through the trees. Marcus Kane, Y/n's mentor lowers his gun. "We're here now. Everything's gonna be okay." If he's here then Y/n might be too. A dropship was sent down before the grounder war but everything was destroyed. My eyes see a woman with light brown hair following the person I've wanted to see since the day I was pardoned for my crime. Y/n. Her hair is still it's (h/c) and her eyes are at bright as ever. She's got a few cuts on her face from their landing I guess and her guard jacket with the rest of her clothes are slightly torn. But all I care about is that she's here.

She slowly drops her gun on the ground racing towards me. Instantly I catch her in my arms stumbling a little at the impact. Her small hands clutching my jacket tightly hearing her giggle in tears. "Bell - Bellamy!" I lower her to her feet so I can cup her face in my hands smiling. "I thought I'd never see you again..." She lays her head into my chest sighing in relief. "I feared that too. But we're together now."

"I love you, Bell." Y/n tilts her head up leaning up to kiss me softly. I press my lips to hers without a thought, resting my hands on her hips. "I love you, Y/n." Finally we broke when the woman stepped up trying to examine me. "He's okay Abby." Y/n spoke before I tell her not wanting to waste anymore time. "We need to get back to the dropship." Y/n glanced to Kane who comes forward giving her the riffle back, ordering Finn and I. "You six with me. You two lead the way."

Y/n intertwines her left hand with mine, gun hanging from her shoulder gripped in her right hand. Watching her from the corner of my eye I see her still full of wonder at finally seeing Earth. She's the light in my life.

Y/n's pov

Marcus fires 3 shots killing a man dressed in furs and face paint. Grounder. Looking through my riffle scope I see two figures all bloody before a guard gives the okay. Pushing through the trees with Abby Griffin, our best doctor behind me I gasp seeing the curly black locks and brown eyes of my boyfriend. Lowering my gun I set it on the ground racing to him as fast as my short legs can carry me. He holds me tightly as I breathe him in. "Bell - Bellamy!" He cups my face grinning brightly. "I thought I'd never see you again..."

Tears well in my eyes when I bury my face in his chest. "I feared that too. But we're together now." Lifting my head up I smile leaning up to kiss him. "I love you, Bell." He kisses back still smiling. "I love you, Y/n." Abby tries to check him out but I didn't see anything wrong before we head for the dropship. Earth is beyond anything I've dreamed. So many colors compared to the gray of the Ark. The wind blows through my hair as I hold my right hand on my riffle we found in a bunker. Finally we reach the ship to see the ground covered in burned bodies and I put a hand over my mouth in shock. The 100 should've never been sent down.

Bellamy suddenly tackles John Murphy to the dirt and starts beating him. "You murdering son of a bitch! This is for Raven!" Raven said she'd gotten shot and now we know by who. "Place him under arrest." Marcus nods to a guard who pulls out a baton shocking Bellamy. "Kane, what the hell!" I curse at the man bending on a knee as my boyfriend moans where he was hit. Guards lift him up binding his hands behind his back. Finn Collins tries to explain that Murphy has committed crimes. "Wait. You don't understand. Murphy murdered two of our people. He shot another one. He tried to hang Bellamy."

"I don't care. You are not animals. There are rules. Laws. You are not in control here anymore." Marcus glares at Bellamy before I grab his arm making him look down at me. "Hold up, Marcus please. If Finn is telling the truth then John Murphy is the one who should be charged, not Bellamy." He scans my face but I'm no backing down without a fight. "You told me that a leader has to make the tough calls. We're not on the Ark anymore. We need to change the laws down here on Earth."

Marcus runs his bandaged hand through his hair finally agreeing with me. "Alright Y/n. He won't be charged. But we'll need to question him, find out what he knows. Untie him." I nod my head a small smile to my mentor rushing to free Bellamy. "Thank you babe. How did you know he would agree?" Bell questions rubbing his sore wrists from the binds. Holding out my hands I pull him to his feet, running my hand through his locks.

"I didn't Bell. All I know is that you've been down here longer than we have...so things change. Clearly you made your own system here, that worked." I move my left arm out gesturing to the walls and escape tunnels that are set up. "It's our job to follow the people who were here before us. I'll follow you anywhere Bellamy Blake."

Bellamy pulls me in for another comfortable hug. Hugging him back I let my riffle swing on my shoulder enjoying being in his arms after so long. "I'll follow you anywhere too, Y/n L/n." He kisses the crown of my head. "I'll never leave you behind again, ever." Wrapping my arms around his neck I vow with love. "I'll wait for you always, Bell...until you find your way back to me."

#hftff-lol #request #bellamy blake x reader #the 100 bellamy blake

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ppersonna · 5 years ago

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tempestuous - kth | m

tem·pes·tu·ous - adjective - characterized by strong and turbulent or conflicting emotion

↳ summary- There’s no one who riles you up more than Kim Taehyung, your best friend’s brother. He knows exactly how to make you fly off the handle.

↳ rating- explicit / 18+

↳ word count- 6.8k

↳ pairing- taehyung x reader

↳ genre- smut, minor angst i guess in the form of fighting, this is one big pile of smut, there’s some fluff too

↳ warnings- yikes where to begin. angry sex, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (don’t be like dis), slapping, spanking, pain kink, dom/sub elements, facefucking, really rough sex, finger sucking, derogatory names, uhhh name calling, hate sex, tae is fuckin nasty yall im thriving

↳ a/n- I HAD TO REUPLOAD bc tumblr sucks lol well folks. here we are. i was given a prompt by @ladyartemesia so i blame her. as for tae, he really came for me this week and completely wrecked me, love that for me. i really popped off here and it’s only edited by me so i’m SORRY if there’s a lot of mistakes. fun fact i actually wrote almost 10k of another version of this but it frustrated me so badly i scrapped it lmao 🤡 HERE WE GO! Enjoy! feel free to send in your requests and i promise to try and get it done for you!

Kim Taehyung could only be described in a few words.

Infuriating, bothersome, vexing.

Gorgeous, breathtaking, suave.

Absolutely, inherently maddening.

And you hate how much you absolutely melt underneath his gaze, the way your heart leaps into your throat with a single word. Your body, the ultimate betrayer, opens up to him as your brain screams to abort, reverse, go back to start and do not pass go.

Kim Taehyung is not just the bane of your existence, no. He’s the little brother of your best friend, Kim Namjoon. Joonie had been in your life since you were in first grade and he in second. Taehyung was your age, but you hit it off with the older boy and haven’t separated since. Your mothers joked that you would get married one day and continue on the Kim line. Until they found out that Namjoon was 1) bisexual and 2) hopelessly in love with, ironically, a man named Kim Seokjin. He reasoned to his parents that they would at least carry on the Kim name.

Where Namjoon was sweet, caring, and deeply compassionate towards you, Taehyung was his alter. Taehyung was brash, cocky and relished in watching you squirm, whether it be out of fury or the god forsaken sexual tension. All growing up, he was the one to pull your pigtails, trip you into puddles of mud, and tease you in front of your friends. Namjoon, ever the faithful companion, was always there to pick up the pieces of what Taehyung broke.

It’s been that way with Taehyung ever since. A constant tug of war with each other, both unwilling to give a single inch to the opponent.

Your relationship with Namjoon remained steadfast as ever. Namjoon eventually moved in with his now-husband, Seokjin, who easily settled into your life as an additional partner in crime. You spent most of your days and nights settled into the couch, snuggled somehow in between or next to one of the two men you cherished most. You had the two best friends you could ask for and a happy life, blissfully Taehyung-free.

Until it wasn’t.

A loud knock wakes you from an unexpected nap on Namjoon’s couch. Your eyes crack open against the glare of the sunlight streaming through the windows. It takes a moment to gather your surroundings. You recognize that you’re in Namjoon and Seokjin’s apartment, and judging by the silence, you’re definitely alone there. As you reach for your phone, the screen lights up the time. 5:34 pm. Well, shit. You remember eating brunch and drinking mimosas at noon with your best friends and then lying on the couch to watch Netflix. How had you fallen asleep for five hours? How did you not wake? What the fuck did Jin put in his mimosas?

The knock is insistent again, louder this time.

“Joon! Jin! it’s me! Open up!”

The voice sounds familiar in your sleep-addled mind, but not quite enough to pinpoint it. You push your limp body off the couch and wince at the feeling of sore muscles. Couch sleeping isn’t all it’s cracked up to be once you’re past the age of 25.

“Sorry, Namjoon isn’t here-,” You open the door to explain to the guest and you’re cut off.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

You rub at your sleepy eyes and allow your vision to focus, only to feel your blood stand still in your veins.

Kim Taehyung. Of fucking course.

“What do you mean, why am I here? I’m always here,” you tut as you fold your arms to your chest. “What are you doing here?”

He rolls his eyes and holds up his hands, two suitcases clutched in each. Who the fuck carries 4 suitcases up three flights of stairs? Kim annoying ass Taehyung does, apparently.

“I’m moving in.” He pushes past you and into the living room.

Your mouth gapes open. Namjoon certainly didn’t tell you this. Taehyung looks back at chuckles at your reaction.

“I’m guessing your best friend didn’t tell you the happy news?”

You shut your mouth, quickly jumping back into composure. “No, he failed to mention that,” you sniff. “I thought you lived with your girlfriend in Gangnam? What was her name? Rose or whatever?”

Tae stiffens, just slightly for a moment, before he plasters back on the bravado. “Obviously not anymore. We broke up, she kept the apartment. Got tired of moping at my mom’s house and I told Namjoon I wanted to come back to the city.”

You feel a slight tug at your stomach, guilt, perhaps? You clear your throat. “Oh, I’m sorry.”

He laughs as he sits on the couch, instantly throwing his feet onto the coffee table, like a heathen. “No, you’re not.”

“What do you mean, no I’m not? God, sorry for being polite!”

This, you reason, is why you can’t sustain longer than 5 minutes of civilized conversation with your best friend’s younger brother. He’s impossible.

He just smirks, and you know he loves the rise he gets out of you.

“Because I know you, and I know you don’t give a fuck about my love life.”

Au contraire. If only he knew just how much you gave a fuck.

“That doesn’t mean I can’t be nice to you!” you nearly stamp your foot in frustration but hold yourself back. That would be too good of ammo for him to use against you.

“Okay, fine,” he acquiesces. “Whatever helps you feel you’re a good person.”

You’re seeing red and you know you want to continue screaming at him but you will not stoop to his level.

“Christ, I haven’t seen you in months and you’re still an asshole,” you say as you grab your keys and shoes. “And also, Jin will kill you if he sees your feet on his coffee table.”

You whip yourself around and open the door to leave and hear him call over your shoulder.

“Good to see you too, doll! Love the hairstyle, by the way.”

You close the door with a growl leaving your throat. The absolute audacity of that man.

You stomp towards the elevator to take yourself to the ground level, when you catch your reflection in the shiny metal. Your hair is in what you can only lovingly call a complete hornet’s nest. It’s ratted and sticking out in places and you feel your cheeks burn. Your first reintroduction with Taehyung is with a fight AND with you looking like a fool.

This would not do. No, sir.

“Kim Namjoon!” you shriek into your cell phone. You’re awkwardly pressing it against your ear with your shoulder as you walk out of the convenience store under your apartment building with 3 bottles of soju and a six-pack of beer. You needed to drown your shame and sorrow, and fast.

“Hello, love of my life and moon of my stars,” your best friend replies and you can hear Seokjin chuckle in the background.

“No!” You chide, already cracking a beer open as you storm into your apartment building. “Don’t you Khal Drogo me, mister! Why the fuck didn’t you tell me your fucking asshole brother was moving in with you?!”

Namjoon is silent and you can tell he’s wincing on the other end of the phone. “Oops?” He offers.

“Yeah, big oops! A heads up would have been nice! Like, ‘hey best friend, your worst enemy of all time is moving in today. Maybe you shouldn’t fall asleep on my couch and wake up looking like Frankenstein’s ugly wife. Oh, and also my handsome boyfriend and I will just happen to not be there when he arrives’.”

By this time, you can tell Namjoon has put you on speakerphone because you can hear their rich laughter loud and clear. Rude bitches.

You stab your key code into your door and lock yourself in, chugging as much of the beer as you could handle.

“At least, even in her rants she thinks I’m handsome,” Jin gloats.

“I’m sorry babe,” Namjoon sighs as he finally calms down. “I didn’t know he would be there today. I just found out about it last night.”

You nibbled at your bottom lip, the annoying pit in your stomach feeling simultaneously guilty that he went through a breakup, unbridled joy that something brought him down a peg, and just a dash of excitement that he’s single now.

You let out a breath. “It’s okay, Joon. It just surprised me to see him.”

Jin butts in, “And because you have a big, fat, unresolved crush on him.”

“Jin!” You admonish. The couple laughs again and you roll your eyes, asking yourself why you put up with the two. “I do not!”

They both hum a non-committal answer, implying they don’t believe you in the slightest.

“Whatever. What are you guys doing, anyway?”

“We just got home from shopping. God, Jin looked so good in these jeans he tried on. I was actually just about to suck his coc-,”

“Kim Namjoon, do not finish that sentence! I do not wish to hear it!” You try to remain firm, but dissolve into giggles with the pair.

You could never stay mad at Namjoon long, even if his brother was the devil incarnate.

“Darling,” Jin calls through the phone. “I still expect to see you at our place tonight for our sleepover.”

Christ, you had forgotten all about your scheduled sleepover night. It was tradition and one of your favorite parts of your friendship with the couple. Jin, a literal chef, prepared a five star meal along with dessert for you while you binge watched Netflix and talked incessantly.

But you also usually slept in their spare bedroom. The exact one that Taehyung would be occupying.

“Fuck, while he’s there?”

“Oh suck it up,” Jin chides, like he’s your mother. “He’s probably not even going to leave his room. You’re not getting out of this. I’m making strawberry cheesecake.”

Your mouth waters at the idea of Jin’s famous cheesecake.

“Fine, but I get to lick the bowl and not Namjoon. Those are my terms.”

Namjoon squawked in defiance as Jin laughed. “I agree to your terms. Be at our place by 8.”

As you hung up the phone, you checked the time. 6:40. God, he hadn’t left you with much time to get ready, did he?

And you definitely needed to get ready. There was no way you were entering a room where Kim Taehyung exists looking like booboo the fool, not again.

Your fingers press the 6 digit passcode to Namjoon and Seokjin’s apartment, arms heavy laden with your bag of toiletries and pajamas, and a bag full of wine.

“Honey, I’m home!” You announce as you toe off your shoes and slide into the combined kitchen and living room.

You receive no reply, but greeted with the amused face of none other than the object of your filthiest dreams, Taehyung.

“Pet names already? We’re moving pretty fast, wouldn’t you say?” He asks you as he lounges at the kitchen table. He watches you open the fridge to set the wine, as comfortable in their home as you are in yours.

“Fuck off,” you grumble. “Where’s your brother?”

Tae seemed absolutely tickled by your disgruntlement. “I think they mentioned something about taking a shower. That was 20 minutes ago, though.”

“Great,” you sigh. “Those fucking horn dogs act as if they’re still newlyweds. We’ll be waiting awhile.”

You tug off your sweater, leaving you to remain in a fitted tank top and yoga pants. You tried to maintain a comfortable look as you dressed for the evening, while keeping in mind which leggings hugged your ass and showed off your toned thighs, and a tank top that dipped low to your cleavage. Okay, so maybe you had ulterior motives. You wanted to make up for your dreadful appearance earlier and make him squirm, payback for the years of him doing it to you.

You watch him as he lets his eyes roam your body, eying you like he wants to ravage you completely. You feel victorious… and also turned on. Fuck, you played yourself.

You flop onto the couch in a huff and Tae snorts before joining you.

“What’s so funny?” You eye him suspiciously.

“Nothing,” his smile feigns innocence. “I’m not allowed to laugh?”

You sniff in annoyance, not eager to fall for his tricks. “You’re allowed to do whatever you want, your highness.” Sarcasm drips from your voice and Tae finds it even more humorous.

“I see you’re still a sassy bitch.”

You gasp, audibly startled by his language and rise from the couch, fists clenched.

“I see you’re still a conceited dick!”

He rises to meet you where you stand, eyes boring into your own with his stupid sexy grin on his face. “I see you’re still not one to back down from a fight.”

You step closer, close enough to feel his breath on your face. Idly, you note it smells like peppermint and you move closer on reflex.

“Yeah? I see you’re still not one to avoid starting a fight in the first place!” you huff.

“Oh, I started it?”

“Yeah, you started it! You called me a bitch!”

You can’t believe this is happening. You feel as if you’re 6 again and fighting with him over a toy.

“A sassy bitch, actually,” he corrects, taking another step forward, bodies touching.

“Fuck you!”

“Only if you say please,” he quips before he closes the distance and presses his lips to yours in a scorching hot kiss.

There’s not even a moment of hesitation on your end, immediately pulling him even closer and wrapping your arms around his neck and allowing his tongue entrance to your mouth. Your body reacts to his instantly, as if it’s wired to respond to him and him only. Your mind was blank of anything except Tae, only Tae please, and you acted purely on instinct alone. And instinct was pulling him closer and begging, more, anything he could give.

The sound of laughter coming from the hallway pulls you apart, neither of you wanting to get caught by Namjoon or Jin. You stare at him, his lips are cherry red and slightly swollen and the image burns into your retinas. He has such pretty lips after you’ve kissed him.

“Oh hey! What’s going on here?” Namjoon asks as he notices the intense eye-battle you’re engaged in with his younger brother.

It shakes you out of the spell, eye contact broken and hypnosis halted.

“Just, errrr,” you falter to find the right words to explain the situation.

“Just getting reacquainted.” Tae sounds completely unaffected, as if the passionate kiss you shared with him seconds ago was but a distant memory. Asshole.

“I’m surprised you two haven’t thrown anything at each other yet,” Jin laughs. “Or thrown yourselves at each other.”

Both you and Taehyung whip to look directly at Jin.

“Her!?” Tae is incredulous. “Gross.”

You’ll never admit out loud that his words wound you.

“You’re an asshole, Taehyung,” you punctuate your words by turning away from him and towards Namjoon, who appears amused as ever.

“Ah, I love when my best friend and my little brother are screaming at each other. Feels like old times. Can one of you cry now to complete the moment?”

Taehyung grumbles under his breath, something you can’t catch, and stalks off to his room. The slam of his door reverberates in the apartment and Jin jumps and turns to yell down the hall at his brother-in-law.

“Yah! Don’t break my apartment! I still owe money on this!”

Despite Taehyung’s appearance every so often in the kitchen or living room, the rest of the night goes on with no annoying disturbances.

Jin spoils you and his husband with expensive food, and the best cheesecake you’ve ever eaten in your life. Plus, you’re given the bowl to lick clean despite a desperately adorable pout from Namjoon you were sure would persuade Jin.

You’re settled on the couch, snuggling in the middle of the couple as an action movie flickers across the big screen tv. Truthfully, you haven’t paid attention to a single thing happening, your thoughts entirely too absorbed in Taehyung and that deliciously infuriating kiss.

Why did he do it? You couldn’t comprehend his reasoning. Perhaps he was doing it to piss you off. He’s never angered you with that level of intimacy before, but you didn’t put it past him.

You’re surprised when the credits of the movie start rolling and Jin and Namjoon fake loud yawns.

“Oh man, I’m beat,” Namjoon lies.

Jin is quick to join. “Me too, I think I’ll pass out the moment I hit the pillow.”

You roll your eyes at the men. “Will you two please go fuck already, I know that’s what you’re going to do.”

Namjoon blanches, but Jin laughs and kisses your cheek. “Ah, my smart, beautiful and chaotic child,” he coos. He leans in to your ear, voice low to keep his husband from listening. “I don’t think I’m the only one in this house who’s going to get pounded into a mattress.”

He pulls back and winks at you, deftly ignores Namjoon’s confusion and sadness of being left out, and drags him to their bedroom with a loud ‘goodnight’.

You’re left to stew in your own emotions, which is never a good thing. Was the tension that obvious? You always assumed it had been one-sided, but the kiss befuddled you more than you’d like to admit.

It finally snapped in your mind, all the dots connecting. That’s why he did it.

He kissed you so you’d stew and simmer and eventually erupt, like you’re doing now. Taehyung knows you too well for your comfort.

You grab your bag of clothes and storm towards the bathroom to change, promising yourself to forget about the kiss and not give Taehyung what he wants.

Except you’re not very good at promises, especially to yourself.

You can’t say you’re excited to sleep on the couch again. While it’s a nice couch, it’s definitely not a bed and your back will pay the price tomorrow. You supposed it was better than the floor, but not by much.

After dressing in your pajamas, a purposefully picked out combination of tiny shorts and a sports bra in case Taehyung happens upon you, you return to your bed for the night in the living room.

Namjoon graciously left blankets and a pillow out for you, and you’re complaining internally about Taehyung the whole time you make yourself a spot to sleep. If it wasn’t for stupid Taehyung and his stupid existence, you’d be sleeping like a baby on the guest bed that you loved. But no, they relegated you to the couch like an animal.

Sleep was not in the cards tonight, it seems. You toss and turn and try to press at the cushions to move a lump around and get comfortable, but it’s all for naught. You’re wide awake and very, very uncomfortable. You didn’t understand how you fell asleep on this very couch earlier in the day. Maybe the mimosas you had at brunch with the couple had been helpful.

A thought crosses your mind. Alcohol. Maybe a nice glass of wine would help tuck you into a peaceful, dreamless sleep. A nightcap. Of course. You were angry at yourself for not thinking of it hours ago.

You slipped out of your disagreeable bed and into the kitchen, trying not to make a sound. Jin’s beloved kitchen was also an echo chamber of noise, even the slightest sound bouncing off its walls and amplifying it through the whole house. You still remember the way you jumped five feet in the air when Jin accidentally broke a plate. It sounded like a bomb explosion.

You bite your lip as you carefully pry the cabinet of wine glasses open, careful to not even allow a squeak of a hinge. You silently beg to stay silent and not wake anyone in the house. You didn’t want to be caught drinking wine at 2 am in the dark, that’s difficult to explain without looking like an alcoholic.

With glass in hand, you tiptoe the fridge to pull out the bottle of merlot, thinking the heavy red wine would be the best to get you sleepy and quick.

You tug the cork from the bottle and pour a healthy amount into the stemware with a smile. Liquid sleep. And you had done it without making a single sound. Perfection. The smell of the alcohol permeates through your nose as you lift the glass, placing it to your lips to take a sip.

“Wine at this hour?” the unexpected voice of Taehyung echos through the kitchen, making you yelp and jolting you hard enough that you drop the hard-earned glass of wine to the tile floor, red wine splashing as the sound of glass shattering is reverberating off the walls.

“Fuck!” You screech at the intruder. Taehyung doubles over, laughing as if he’s seen nothing funnier than what just transpired. “You asshole!”

You listen past Taehyung’s incessant laughter to ensure the owners of the apartment hadn’t awoken during the ruckus. You definitely did not want to face a tired and agitated Jin to tell him you shattered one of his Tiffany crystal goblets.

Beyond Tae, the house is silent and you’re thanking whatever god is listening for keeping your best friends asleep.

The wine is everywhere, spilling into the cracks of the tile and splattered on the walls. The crystal stemware is too; it shattered with such force that you see flecks of the shrapnel in all four corners of the room.

Tae wipes a tear from his face and you square a tempestuous look at him.

“Fucking help me! You made me drop it!”

Through snorts, he replies. “I didn’t make you do anything. You did that on your own.” Although he is arguing with you, he’s gingerly stepping into the kitchen and kneeling to pick up shards of glass.

“I wouldn’t have dropped it if you had come into the room like a fucking normal person,” you grit.

He collects the glass, the delighted grin on his face now permanent. He’s relishing in your annoyance, you know he is, and it burns you from the inside out.

“It’s not my fault you didn’t hear me.”

“You could have turned on the light! Why were you in the dark like a freak?” You’re grasping at straws, anything to pin this all on him. It would quell the fire in your belly to push it all onto him, make you feel as if you’ve won.

Taehyung levels a look at you. “And you weren’t also in the dark? Pouring a gallon of wine for yourself?”

Your cheeks flare red. Fuck, he definitely caught you there. You’re playing verbal poker with him and the hand you’re dealt falls flat compared to his royal flush. He grins, knowing he has you.

“Fuck you,” you snark, you go to insult when you’re backed into a corner.

“Ah, doll,” he winks. “We talked about that. Be careful what you wish for.”

The fire inside you is roaring to an inferno now, flames licking to your core. It’s a complicated mixture of anger and sexual energy. It’s infuriating that he’s able to make you feel every single emotion to the extreme. You hate that arguing with him turns you on, like it’s some perverse foreplay.

You moisten your lips with your tongue as you process his words, and Tae’s eyes hungrily track the appendage as it glides over your lips.

“Fuck. You.” You emphasize perfunctorily.

All thoughts of wiping up the mess are forgotten as Tae drags both you and himself off the floor and steers you to the living room, lips feverish against your own. He pushes you into the couch and tugs his shirt off, before replacing his lips to yours.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking hot when you’re a bitch,” he groans as he snaps the strap of your sports bra. “Seeing you get all worked up makes me so hard.”

He’s not wrong. You can see through his mesh basketball shorts that he’s sporting an impressive package, rock hard in its clothed prison.

“Yeah?” You bite at his lip.

“Hell yeah.” His hands work to the elastic band under your bust and tugs the offending material off, tits springing free as he throws it to the floor.

“Holy shit,” Taehyung breathes as he gets a good look at your chest.

You shake them gently, grinning as he watches them jiggle. “You like what you see?”

He smirks and pinches a nipple, wiping the coy smile off your face and turning it into a moan. “I like when you’re mouthy, but don’t push it.”

He lowers his head to the nipple he’s still pinching in his fingers, licking at it and replacing his fingers with his mouth. He’s moaning around the nipple, and you’re gasping for more. His hot mouth sucks at you, teeth nibbling and pulling it until you’re whimpering in delicious pain.

“Fuck!” He cries as he pops away from your nipple. “You’re so fucking hot.”

Your body warms at his words, arousal pooling between your legs. You’re sure that your thighs are drenched in your essence.

He slurps your neglected breast into his mouth, ensuring your nipples are equally abused. His tongue is skilled but his mouth is messy, saliva dripping all around your tit and it’s the hottest fucking sight you’ve ever seen.

He’s pulling away again and pinching both nipples with his hands simultaneously. “And you’re so fucking annoying.”

You’re pleading for more or to stop, you’re not sure. He continues.

“Mm, I’m gonna fuck you until you’re a good little bitch for me. Listening to every fucking thing I say.”

He releases your nipples, and you finally find the ability to focus again, staring directly at him.

“Oh, you think you’re that good?” you sass as you attempt to catch your breath. “Put your money where your mouth is.”

Tae grips your chin roughly, face inches away from yours with a sadistic grin. “You’re going to regret those words, baby.”

Instantly, he’s standing up and tugging his shorts down to let his cock spring free. Your brain misfires as you visually measure his cock and your mouth goes dry. He’s thick and long. The bulbous head is dripping pre-cum, begging you to slurp it up.

“How about I put my money where your mouth is,” he suggests as he grabs a fistful of your hair.

He teasingly rubs his cock on your lips and cheeks, makes you whimper with need. Your tongue is sticking out, desperate for him to lay it on you.

“Already so fucking greedy,” he grunts and in one motion, directs his dick into your open mouth. “I’ll fuck your throat, yeah? Greedy bitches love getting face fucked.” He is still for a beat more, eyes searching yours for consent and you nod with his cock still in your mouth. He winks, then begins a rapid pace, his cock fucking into your mouth and throat.

You’re sure you look like a goddamn mess with saliva dripping from your mouth as Taehyung punishes your throat with his thrusts. You gag and moan around him, and he tightens his grip in your hair as you see stars.

It’s indescribable. Never have you felt such pleasure from sucking cock, but Tae commands your entire body, willing you to drip with anticipation.

“My little fuck toy, god you feel so fucking good,” he hisses. “You’re gonna swallow my cum, baby.”

His hips are stuttering, he’s close, and you’re sucking him harder, cheeks pulling in harder to vacuum him in. The pressure makes him groan out loud.

“So good, so fucking good. Get ready for your prize, baby,” his voice cuts off in a gasp, as his cock twitches violently. His legs shake and he doesn’t hold back the moans of his orgasm, gasping as he feels rope after rope spill down your hot throat.

Your big doll eyes are twinkling up at him, lips still wrapped around his cock. Taehyung is sure it’s the hottest thing he’ll ever see in his lifetime. You on your knees, subservient to him and thriving for it.

“Mmm, I like it when your mouth is full like this,” he slowly pulls out of your mouth, albeit reluctantly. “Can’t talk back to me when you’re sucking my cock like a whore.”

You smile and stick out your tongue, pleased to show him you happily accepted his cum.

“Good fucking girl,” he coos as he grips your chin again. “Did you like my cum?”

You nod, brain fried from the heat of the room.

“Use your words,” he grits and grips your jaw harder. It’s enough to shock you into compliance.

“Y-yes! Fuck, I love your cum, Tae.” Your words are breathy and raspy, throat raw from his barrage.

“I knew you would, filthy slut. Sit on the couch.” He orders and you’re quick to scurry and sit on the makeshift bed you made.

His hands are tugging down your shorts quickly. No teasing or seduction here, not now. You lift your hips, and he throws them aside. Your legs close on reflex, making him growl.

“Do not hide yourself from me.” His tone is dark and you can’t help but shiver as you open yourself up to him. You want to talk back, want to fight and bite at him, but you’re quickly losing the ability to even speak, and you’re aching for him.

“Where’s my mouthy little bitch? You’re awfully quiet. Did I finally break you?” He teases, pressing your legs upward, knees to your ears. It’s pornographic how on display you are for him, soaking wet cunt front and center.

“The great Taehyung thinks he can break me with his cock,” you mewl, mustering all the false confidence you can. You’re lying through your fucking teeth and you both know it, but you continue. “You’ll have to do more than that.”

Your pussy is quaking with need now, desperate for a single touch. His hands maintain purchase on the backs of your thighs, holding them up.

“There she is,” he bites at the flesh of your leg closest to him which makes you jerk in his hold. “Gonna fuck the brat right out of you.”

He removes a hand from your thigh and you’re quick to pick up the slack, holding the thigh in place to maintain his open show of your pussy.

“Try me,” you murmur, and you’re instantly regretting your words as a harsh slap descends and lands square on your cunt.

You nearly scream, pain flooding your wanton pussy, before turning into delicious pleasure that stings and tingles right at your clit. It sizzles, and warmth blooms where his hand was.

“That’s for not believing me.” His eyes are feral and you want to bottle this memory forever.

Another slap has your legs trembling, eyes rolling back as the burn turns to a low heat. You’re dripping your wetness down onto the couch and Jin will kill you, but you don’t care.

“That was for calling me a dick,” he smirks.

Smack.

Tears spring in your eyes as the slap brings more pleasure than pain, desperately close to your edge.

“Look at you, you could cum just from this, couldn’t you?”

“F-fuck! Yes, please, I need more, please!” Your cunt is clenching around nothing, desperate for friction and leaking out of you like a faucet. Taehyung marvels at you, legs spread so far, with a cunt weeping with arousal for more. He can’t wait to dive in there, but he’s not finished with you yet.

“More? I don’t know if you deserve more, baby, you’ve been awfully mean to me,” he tsks, breathing hot air on your clit, making you whine.

“P-please! I’m sorry!” You’re sure you will black out with how desperately you need him. You need him more than you need oxygen.

“Beg.”

You’re quick to submit. Thoughts of fighting back are long gone, you’re his wanton little slut now.

“Please, please! Pleaseeeee, make me cum! I’ll do anything.”

“Anything?” He asks with an arch of his eyebrow.

You’re nodding wildly, gazing at him with desperate, watery eyes.

“Anything, I need you so f-fucking bad it hurts!”

By the time the words leave your lips, he’s thrusting two fingers into your cunt viciously, fingering you ferociously. He arches them, rubbing against your spongy g-spot and making you scream. He knows you’re close, knows you only need one little push off the edge. He plays your body like a skilled practitioner.

“Cum on my fingers, baby. Let me see my greedy little bitch milk my fingers.”

Your body and mind react accordingly, deep down you know your body is owned completely by him, all his. Your orgasm explodes and you think you actually scream, your vision is black and your hearing goes silent for a moment as you cum harder than you have in your life. You’re squeezing his fingers with your pussy so tight and Taehyung is gently licking all the juices from his hand with his fingers still inside you.

It takes time to descend from the separate plane of existence Taehyung sent you too, but you come back and watch as he laps at the liquid of your cunt and on his hand like it’s a vital necessity. His fingers remain in your walls, and he refuses to break eye contact with you. You’re positive you could cum again from the sight.

“My little cockslut tastes so good, just how I like,” he tells you tenderly. “Like cherries, so sweet. My little cherry.”

Your cunt is aching and warming back to life as he pulls his fingers out of you. The loss is immense and you’re whimpering for more.

“Ah, ah,” he hushes you. “No whining. You’ll take what I give you. Suck my fingers clean. Taste yourself.”

He presses his fingers into your mouth, earning him a sigh, the taste of you filling your mouth. You swirl your tongue around his fingers and suckle each one to ensure your tongue laves the entire surface.

“Fuck,” he whispers and it’s his first crack in his steel reserve. “Needy.”

He pulls his fingers from your mouth and presses against you to kiss. It’s gentle, sweet, and nothing compared to the man assailing your pussy with slaps moments ago. It thrills you just the same and you return in kind, threading your hands in his wavy hair.

He pulls away and presses his forehead against yours, a moment of gentleness you actively welcome.

“This little cunt ready for me?” He whispers and you’re whimpering your reply.

“Please, fuck me. I need you to fuck me until I can’t walk.”

He grins and presses a kiss to your lips again, sweet and chaste, before he pulls away and slides down to attach those same sinful lips to your pussy.

It’s so unexpected you flinch and manage a cry as his tongue slurps up more of your delicious essence and his mouth moves to suckle on your clit. You’re not sure where the fuck he learned these tricks, but you know now you will never let him go.

“Taehyung!” You cry at the sensation. “Fuck!”

After receiving the reaction he was desperate for, he slips his tongue into your walls deep and gathers as much of you as he can, before he’s pulling back and swallowing you down.

“I couldn’t resist. Your cunt was made for me to devour.”

He doesn’t allow for a response as he throws your legs over his shoulders and lines himself up at your core.

“Condom?” He asks you, and you level a quick look at him.

“I don’t live here! I don’t have any!” You’re savage, terrified he’ll pull his cock away when all you want and can think about is the way he’ll feel pounding into you.

“Don’t be rude, baby,” he reminds you with a swat to your ass. “I’m clean, promise. You?”

You nod quickly, reveling in the spank’s tingle. “Same. I have an IUD too,” you sigh. Thank god for medical birth control implants.

“Good. You’re the only pussy I’m gonna fuck from now on,” he promises. You know you must talk about this later, when you’re thinking rationally and not with your aching pussy.

Your heart stutters and leaps into your throat but all is forgotten as he plunges into your tight heat.

“Ohhhhh shit, ahhh,” he gasps. “Baby, you’re so fucking tight and wet.” He’s on the verge of whining, becoming just as needy and greedy as you. He wastes no time in setting a pace.

His cock fills you completely, his angle allowing him to go as deep as he can, pressing the beginning of your cervix. This is surely what heaven feels like. It feels like the completeness you feel with Taehyung fully sheathed inside you.

It comes alive with flames and explosions as he fucks you, hips pistoning to plunge in and out of you with tenacity. He fucks you like he laces every single thrust with more, more than just sex. He fucks you with purpose.

You’re moaning like a pornstar now, high pitch wails and gasps and breathy moans are all you can manage. “Taehyung, yes! Feel so g-g-good!”

“That’s right baby, scream my fucking name. Make sure all the neighbors know who fucking ruined you,” he nearly spits, cock thrusting into your core at an impossible speed. “I want you to tell all of Korea who owns you. Who owns this tiny little cunt?”

The wind leaves you, and you’re gasping for air, gaping mouth open as you try to reply. It takes him fucking into you harder a few times before you feel it rush back into you.

“You, Taehyung! You! Fuck, I love your cock!”

His thumb rubs at your engorged clit, allowing it the friction it seeks. He bends forward and wraps his other hand around your throat, squeezing.

Losing air combined with the friction on your clit has you keening, so close to the edge. You try to babble his name but nothing comes out.

“Look at my pretty little slut taking my cock so well,” he praises. “You have the greediest pussy, don’t you? You need my cock daily, baby. Need to put my mouthy bitch in her place, remind her who’s in charge.”

He slows his pace but his thrusts are punishing, fucking into you as hard as he can. Your orgasm is climbing so impossibly high.

“F-fuck!” You gasp as he releases his grip on your neck. “Gonna cum! Please let me cum!”

“Yeah baby, cum for me. Cream your greedy pussy all over my cock.”

The world stops spinning as you hit the height of your climax and plunge down. Your vision goes black and your body is quivering and convulsing nearly as hard as your cunt is. Taehyung hisses at your walls sucking him in, as if you’re begging for his cum, begging for more.

“Fuck, good girl, baby, holy shit,” he’s breathless and so close.

You’re overstimulated, boneless, but he wrought two of the best orgasms you’ve ever felt in your life and you’ll be damned if you leave him high and dry. You bite your lip as you move with him, hips pounding against each other. His face is scrunched up and you know he’s close when he’s stuttering on his words. You take over for him.

“Please cum in me baby, please. Fill me up. I’m yours, baby, mark my little cunt as yours.” You don’t know where it’s coming from, but you keep it going. It feels as natural as fucking him does. “Please, Taehyung!”

At the sound of his name leaving you in a whine, he spirals down his own completion. He feels his cock pulse as he empties his load into you, your walls still reverently beckoning for him. He’s calling out your name, grasping at your tits as he finishes and you’re smiling from ear to ear. Your pussy is warm with his seed and you’re positive it’s the way you want to feel every single night.

“Holy fuck,” Taehyung rasps as he pulls his cock out of you. He thrills as he watches his cum follow, slipping out your folds and down your thigh. “I definitely marked you.”

You hum in reply, finally allowing yourself to soak in the haze of orgasmic bliss. Tae presses his head to yours again, kissing you sweetly.

“Come sleep in my bed?” He asks. He means more behind it. He wants to ask you to sleep in his bed every night, stay with him every day, be the one he grows old with. He knows there’s still more to talk about, wounds of the past to heal, but now you’re with him, and he knows he’ll work through anything.

You nod, and kiss him again, understanding his hidden meaning laced in his words.

A sly smile spreads across his face. “Last one to bed has to take the blame for the wineglass,” he teases. Your head spins as if you’ve got whiplash. He can switch from dominating to sensitive to the little shit he is so quick.

“Hey! No fucking fair! You fucked my ability to run out of me!”

“Shouldn’t have been such a sassy bitch,” he winks before he tears away towards his room.

“Taehyung, you’re an asshole!” You call as you limp your way behind him.

From behind Joon and Jin’s door, a critical voice bellows, “YAH! I’ll kill you if you got your jizz on my couch! And what is this I heard about my glass!!? HEY! Those are TIFFANY. CRYSTAL. THE DISRESPECT!”

You slip into Taehyung’s bed and wrap yourself around him, the two of you gasping with mischievous giggles.

Kim Taehyung will always be the one who knows how to drive you wild. He’ll always aggravate and infuriate you, send you reeling.

But now you didn’t think you minded it at all.

#bangtanarmynet #maknaesmutsociety #btswritersnet #btswriterscollective #kwritersworldnet #bts taehyung #bts kim taehyung #bts v #bts fic #bts smut #bts fanfic #kim taehyung #v

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makeste · 4 years ago

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BnHA Chapter 291: The Endeavor Pamphlet

Previously on BnHA: Dabi showed up atop Gigantomachia’s back and was all “you’ll never guess who I really am!” and the readers humored him and were all “who?” and he was all “TODOROKI TOUYA” and we were all “WOW └(・。・)┘ OH MY GOSH I WOULD NEVER HAVE GUESSED”, except for Shouto and Enji who were GENUINELY SHOCKED. Anyway so Touya was all “and guess what I’m doing right now!” and before anyone could even try, he was all, “STREAMING MY EMMY-NOMINATED MINISERIES ‘HELLO, I’M EVIL BUT ALSO TRAGIC AND SEXY, NOW LET ME TELL YOU ALL ABOUT MY DAD WHO SUCKS’’, THAT’S WHAT.” And everyone was all “oh my god” and Touya was all “ヽ(⌐■_■)ノ♪” for basically the rest of the chapter, and that’s pretty much it! Oh, wait, except for the part where he also doused himself in bleach in a fit of pure theatrics, which is actually pretty much the main takeaway from the entire chapter really because it was just wild af. ANYWAYS.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi introduces Baby Touya, the world’s most enchantingly sweet character, and is immediately all, “I sure can’t wait to tell you guys all about how his fucking jaw burnt off.” Thankfully he doesn’t (YET), and we cut back to the present pretty quickly, where Dabi explains how he took all of his brain cells that should have been used to stop him from pouring bleach over his head, and instead put them all toward his big brain plot of releasing an elaborate video detailing Endeavor’s various abuses and crimes, and even throwing Hawks under the bus as well because WHY NOT. He then leaps off of Gigantomachia’s back (like I said, no brain cells) all set to blast them with a Prominence Burn, only to be stopped by none other than THE LEGEND HIMSELF, MOTHERFUCKING BEST, PRETTIEST, NICEST, MOST OUTSTANDING MOTHERFUCKING JEANIST. Who’s no doubt outraged by the crime against hair he witnessed only moments earlier. GO GETTIM JEANY BOI.

so I haven’t had time to answer any of them because this has been the stupidest week, but I just wanted to tell you guys that I received no fewer than nine asks about Dabi’s hair. which, in a week filled with election memes and tumblr’s most cursed fandom briefly rising back up from the dead, is a pretty impressive feat for him if you ask me. like, I know I was making fun of it basically nonstop, but it sure did generate a lot of discussion so maybe I should rethink my opinions on Dabi’s PR strategies now, idk

anyway. it’s Saturday. time to catch up on this shit. let’s see how fucked the Todorokis are

OH NO HE’S CUTE

HOLY SHIT THIS IS TOO MUCH TO FUCKING PROCESS. I’M JUST TRYING TO ENJOY MY DAY HORIKOSHI, ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO TRAUMATIZE THIS POOR CHILD RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD

“thanks for being all right” the fuck

who allowed this child to be so cute. I’m serious. who signed off on this

how could a child this adorable possibly want to murder his equally adorable baby brother. please, your honor. there must be some mistake here

guess how prepared I am to read all about Touya’s tragic past. mm. that’s right. zero ready. none ready

anyway. TWO THOUSAND DEGREES LOLOLOL. NO TRACE OF A CORPSE HOW CONVENIENT. A PIECE OF HIS LOWER JAW BONE FFFFMSGHKLSh. LOVELY. LOVELY

LMAOOOOO

listen you guys. I just want to take a moment to appreciate that Horikoshi Kouhei did one of two things here. either (1) he planned it out FROM THE VERY START that Touya would be born with red hair Because Fire Powers, but would then have his hair turn white due to trauma, thus making the Dabi/Touya connection very slightly less obvious, although Let’s Be Real Who Are We Kidding. OR, (2) the anime got it wrong and gave him red hair, and rather than allowing this plot hole to continue to exist, Horikoshi took it upon himself to concoct this elaborate storyline and pretend it was never a plot hole at all! in which case I sure hope someone at Bones is sending him a VERY nice Christmas card this year. got this man sweeping up all your messes for you. you’re just lucky he has some sort of wild compulsion to address these things

anyways!!

FATHER AND SON. how sweet. :| still zero percent ready for any of this btw

STOP BEING CUTE

THIS IS RIDICULOUS. I’M SO MAD RIGHT NOW. HE IS THE SINGLE CUTEST CHARACTER IN THE ENTIRE SERIES, and do you even know how many other baby characters I’m betraying in order to say that?! baby Kacchan, baby Deku, baby Ochako, baby Shouto, Eri, baby Hawks. I’M LOOKING YOU DEAD IN THE EYE RIGHT NOW AND TELLING YOU THAT BABY TOUYA IS CUTER THAN ALL OF THOSE PLEBS. AND YOU’RE LOOKING BACK AT ME RIGHT NOW ALL “YEAH IT SURE IS A PITY ABOUT HIS JAW MELTING OFF THOUGH.” THAT’S IT, I QUIT THE SERIES

and Enji’s smiling at him. he’s so proud of him. but then Touya won’t be able to do it, and Enji’s gonna stop training him, and Touya’s gonna feel like a failure and keep pushing himself in order to try and win his dad’s affections back, because that’s all kids fucking want, all they want is just love, that’s fucking it, you couldn’t just give him that?? and then he’s gonna immolate himself fflkdlskfh THERE YOU SEE HORIKOSHI, I KNOW THE WHOLE STORY ALREADY, YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THE WHOLE “SHOW THEM THE DEAD DOG” THING YET AGAIN YOU PIECE OF SHIT

OH SNAP THERE GOES THE TWIN THEORY. R.I.P.

BABY FUYUMI. PRETTY CUTE. NOT AS CUTE AS TOUYA THOUGH. HEY LOOK, NO REASON TO GET MAD AT ME I’M JUST STATING A FACT HERE

YEAH THIS IS GONNA GO REAL WELL OH BOY

I keep pressing the emergency stop button but this industrial tragedy machine just keeps on chugging along anyway, I’m pretty sure this thing is not up to code

:| I am so sorry sweet boy, Horikoshi is only getting started with you

FUCKING HELL WITH THIS NARRATION

but he wasn’t actually a child to you, he was just a little puppet child for you to live vicariously through!! and then you went and did the same fucking thing with Shouto afterwards and never learned your lesson until just six months ago!! fucking hell, Enji

so now he’s all “Touya is dead, that’s an unforgivable lie” fflkdhflk motherfucker does he look dead to you. if you really think that, tumblr and twitter have got a little over five years’ worth of archived theory posts to show you

oh shit Touya’s countering with “it’s an unforgivable truth”, which, damn. I actually think Horikoshi’s dialogue is one of his weaker points as a writer a lot of the time, but that comeback was snappy as fuck

actually guys, now that I’ve seen how ridiculously fucking cute baby!Touya was, I can almost understand why Shouto and Enji never put the pieces together before lol. any passing similarities would have easily been dismissed on account of he’d need to be at least 10x more adorable in order to get the full resemblance

OH MY GOD

NOW YOU SLEEP??? SO YOU POINT BLANK REFUSED TO PASS OUT WHILE YOU WERE BUSY MAIMING ALL OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS, BUT NOW THAT THERE’S AN OPPORTUNITY TO SEE YOUR REACTION TO THE “YOUR LIEUTENANT WAS SECRETLY RELATED TO ONE OF YOUR WORST ENEMIES THE WHOLE TIME” BOMBSHELL, YOU FINALLY DECIDE TO GET YOUR FORTY WINKS. I SEE

WOW DABI

I’M SURPRISED YOU DIDN’T ALREADY HAVE YOUR ANCESTRY.COM RESULTS PRINTOUT READY TO FOLD INTO A PAPER AIRPLANE AND ZOOM ON DOWN TO HIM

LOL NEVERMIND

gotta say, so far The Endeavor Pamphlet is just about as spicy as I could have hoped

(ETA: Natsuo’s face as he watches his beloved dead brother come back to life only to literally and metaphorically set everything on fire in one fell swoop is :/. why must you do this to me Natsu. can’t you see I’m trying to throw a Welcome Back Jeanist party here.)

HAVE YOU READ THIS?! TODOROKI ENJI ABUSED HIS OWN HEIR, AND DABI WROTE IT DOWN RIGHT THERE

WELL HE’S NEVER GON’ BE NUMBER ONE NOW / NEVER GON’ BE NUMBER ONE NOW / THAT’S ONE LESS THING TO WORRY ABOUT / THAT’S ONE LESS THING TO WORRY ABOUT

btw I neglected to mention this last week, but yes I do recognize and appreciate that this is Can’t Ya See-kun himself whom Horikoshi has chosen to be the face of this existential crisis which the general public is about to experience. rip CYS-kun

OOF

excuse me. putting aside the implications of Dabi sharing this context-less murder video of Hawks with the entire world for a moment, I just have to pause for a sec here, because when exactly did he get a chance to edit this all in?? complete with voiceover that seamlessly ties in with the prerecorded footage of him with DNA test results sans shirt?? you’re telling me this motherfucker, with all the smoke that was in the room thanks to his own quirk, somehow got a PERFECT SHOT of the PRECISE MOMENT when Hawks drove his feather knife into Jin’s back, using his MAGIC CAMERA THAT HE I GUESS HAD THE ENTIRE TIME IN THE POUCH RIGHT NEXT TO HIS BLEACH BOTTLE, and then immediately somehow got this very next shot as well FROM AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT ANGLE

ALL THE WHILE IMMEDIATELY RUNNING THROUGH SCRIPT REVISIONS IN HIS HEAD, WHICH HE THEN PROCEEDED TO RECORD... WHERE, EXACTLY?? WITH SKEPTIC, WHILST RIDING ON MACHIA’S BACK??

AND THIS IS ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF???

and this after I just wrote that whole long paragraph positively GLOWING about this man’s ability to plug up a plot hole. jfc. just scratch out every damn word I said lol. just forget all of it

are you fucking kidding me, the footage was from the cameras Skeptic planted on Hawks??

that’s... actually... okay you know what, it still doesn’t make any sense in the slightest, but the determination to address it nonetheless... just, dammit... I feel like I’m constantly at war with myself over whether or not I want to shake this man’s hand or slap him lmao. whatever, then!!

anyway, since Shouto and Enji can’t actually see the damage that Touya is dealing to the hero industry even as they speak, Touya is taking it upon himself to give them the highlights

I think it’s a testament to how much Endeavor cares about Hawks that he managed to zero in on that comment even amidst all the craziness of his eldest son returning from the dead to announce how he’s been carefully plotting their destruction for years and years. like, he heard “Hawks” and his face immediately went like that. you think he’s worried that Dabi did something to him? because he’d be right to worry lol

so the Endeavor Pamphlet narration is now explaining all about how Hawks totally killed the Number 3 Hero Best Jeanist as well! yep... he sure did... totally...

OH MY GOD WE’RE CUTTING TO HIM AHHHHH

Hawks, that is. lol. not Jeanist. NO, JUST MY POOR HALF-DEAD WINGLESS BABY SON

NOOOOO HIS LITTLE WING STUMPS. BUT SOMEHOW HIS FACIAL HAIR IS STILL INTACT. OH TO BE AN ANIME PRETTY BOY BEING SET ON FIRE. “HEY, TAKE IT EASY, WATCH THE FACE”

EXCUSE ME WHAT

interesting! we suspected as much, I think, with the clues that Ending dropped, and the little flashback right after the name reveal. still not clear how Dabi found out about it though!

looooool okay here we go, breaking out the heavy-handed holier-than-thou shit now

you know, I do find it interesting how trying to model themselves after All Might’s noble Symbol of Peace image has kind of ended up being the heroes’ undoing here. like, I could write a whole essay on this, but what it basically boils down to is that they were all trying too hard to be perfect. All Might went out there and did his thing and was amazing, and so the powers-that-be built an entire system centered around this seemingly-infallible person, and they acted like the system was infallible as well. and so most of the population ended up becoming complacent over the years, and meanwhile the people who were unfortunate enough to fall through the cracks understandably wound up disillusioned and perceiving the heroes as these false idols

anyway, but I think one positive takeaway from this is that the new up-and-coming generation of heroes represent a breakaway from that system. like, imo what we’re witnessing is the downfall of the Perfect Hero, and the rise of the imperfect hero. and this new generation doesn’t shy away from their failures or pretend like they never happened. they pretty much can’t pretend, because their failures are all right out there in the open for everyone to see. Bakugou Katsuki, just to name one example off the top of my very biased head, has had his own personal character journey basically play out right in front of the media’s eyes. his humiliation at the sports festival, his kidnapping by the League, and all of the fallout afterward. this isn’t someone who can ever go out there and convince the world that he’s perfect. but what he can do, instead, is show the world that he’s trying. that he’s trying with everything he has to do his best, to be the best. rather than this untouchable godlike image, it’s instead the image of someone painfully human who is nonetheless striving with everything he’s got to keep moving forward, flaws and all, and work his way to the top

and ultimately I think that’s going to be a much more positive image to send out to the world when all’s said and done. because rather than merely inspiring awe, heroes like that inspire people to take action themselves. or at least that’s what I hope! and not just Bakugou, but the others as well. we’ve got Shouto, whose own personal trauma is being aired in front of the whole nation even as I sit here ranting. we’ve got Deku, who cries at the drop of a hat, and who fought to become a hero despite being quirkless (and I think it’s only a matter of time before that eventually becomes public knowledge as well). tl;dr because I’m getting way too long-winded here, but these kids have effectively been humanized in a way that the old generation never was, and I think that’ll go a long way towards building trust between them and the people they’ll someday be protecting, and inspiring the next generation in hopefully a much healthier way

anyway so where were we. ...oh yes, Dabi was explaining that heroes only protect themselves, and is presumably building up to his grand conclusion of “therefore you should all just let the villains take over and burn down the world”

omfg. YOU GUYS

DOES CAN’T YA SEE-KUN’S SHARK FRIEND ACTUALLY CALL HIM “CAN’T YA SEE-KUN.” HE HAS A NAME YOU KNOW!! UNLESS HE LEGALLY GOT HIS NAME CHANGED TO CAN’T YA SEE-KUN. OH MY GOD

ALSO, IS THAT CAN’T YA SEE-KUN CRYING IN THE BOTTOM RIGHT THERE OMG. GIVE THIS CHILD A HUG. EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING RIGHT NOW AND HUG HIM

BAKUGOU IS BARELY HANGING ON THERE LOL. GOTTA STAY CONSCIOUS... SO MUCH TEA BEING SPILLED... FOCUS... CONCENTRATE

IIDA’S ANGLING HIS HEAD IN A WEIRD WAY, LIKE DUDE. LOOKING SUSPICIOUSLY SNUGGLY THERE. MMM THESE IIDABAKU CRUMBS

HADOU IS ALL “WHAT EVEN IS ACTUALLY GOING ON” LMAO

LASTLY, POOR SHOUTO OMFG. WHEN YOU’RE ALL FINISHED HUGGING CYS-KUN THIS CHILD NEEDS YOUR ATTENTION!!

so now Dabi’s leaping off of this ninety-foot-tall gargoyle man like that’s a normal, smart thing to do. unless he can fly too now? saw his dad doing it back at Fukuoka and was all “hmm”

OH MY GOD SOMEONE TELL ME RIGHT NOW WHAT WORD SHOUTO IS USING TO ADDRESS ENJI, THESE TRANSLATIONS LOVE TO MESS WITH MY HEAD

ENJI GET MOVING DO YOU NOT SEE THOSE TEARS!!! SNAP OUT OF IT YOU BIG TREE

AHHHHH

OH KACCHAN YOU WOKE UP A LITTLE MORE THERE, HUH

lol he and Deku both look so determined but they’re basically sitting ducks. their “oh shit” faces do look remarkably like their “TIME TO SWING INTO ACTION” faces but don’t be fooled, they have one good arm and about six pints of blood left between the two of them. looks like this one’s all on you Shouto

-- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH --

BAH GOD... WHAT’S GOING ON HERE... THAT’S BEST JEANIST’S MUSIC

y’all. can’t even talk right now, my brain has completely shut down lol. just. ...

°˖✧◝(￣▿￣)◜✧˖°

#bnha 291 #dabi #todoroki touya #endeavor #todoroki shouto #best jeanist #hawks #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #you guys know that scene from the end of the lion king #the part where simba is walking up to the top of pride rock #and he lets out that roar as zimmer's score soars to a crescendo #yeah baby #that's the mood rn #welcome back king

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