#not good is this FUCKING OBELISK

[pushing500]

Yes!!! Thanks to the nociosphere's valiant efforts, we have a nano structuring chip, which means that very soon, we'll be able to stop polluting the ocean, which will make The Green Clam Gobar like us more!! Just as planned!

No rest for the wicked, though. Randy Random has spotted the empty holding platform that the nociosphere left behind and has sent horrible monsters to fill the gap...

Our killbox dealt with them handily, though, with Mechi and Othello on watch nearby in case anything went wrong. It all went fine, though, and now Susskind the ghoul and Ms. Clarabelle the sightstealer have a new friend in the entity freezer. Hooray!

To celebrate our victory, the second of our outposts sent us some luciferium, which we will sell ASAP.

Randy I'm begging you I spent like five years struggling to unlearn same-face syndrome in my drawings you can't do this to me

God fucking damn it

I am mildly amused by the obelisk landing on an ostrich but more concerned about where the hell I'm going to find acceptable hairstyles for MORE unexpected Jones boys. When does it end, Randy? Quadruplets? Septuplets?? NONUPLETS???

Alas, that will be left to discover in the future...

First | Next | Previous

[vaguely-concerned]

bellara's capacity to find endless fascination in things that freak other people out is so dear to me. she truly is the intellectual equivalent of a monster fucker

[one-little-nerd-stayed-home]

I'm sorry I'm sorry one more Feral O&O Post but god every one of these characters makes me so fucking crazy

Like. I just. Lu'Luh oh my god Lu'Luh

What if you found out your god wasn't what you thought. What if you met your god and not only did he place no value in the world or existence but he was actively dismissive of everything you had ever heard about him. He doesn't care about you. He thinks you're beneath him. maybe a bit of light entertainment at best.

And then what if you turned back to your friends and your friends held you and said we are going to fight and you found a kind of faith in that instead. What if you found the kind of belief that grants power in your friends. Your friends who care more about you and make more difference in the world than your god ever did....

[monpalace]

Thoughts???

We switching it up and going with warriors 😌😌

Ive been wanting to do a headcanon list thing on this BUT ILL JUST SHARE IT HERE SO IT MAY BE OUT IN THE AETHER!

Warriors with a magical Seamstress s/o! We all know that magical outfits/colthes GOTTA come from somewhere, and most of the time its from magical items/items with special properties that are fused with the clothing.

But! What happens when one is able to fuse magic to the fabric itself? Everything row of cotton imbedded with arcane properties? It can turn a simple clothe into armour that reveals the durability of a full set of plated armour.

You, being one of the first to prefect this technique, have been assigned the duty to work alongside the army to help protect their soldiers! You spend day in and day out magically sewing and stitching their ragged clothes together. Even though the work itself was tiring, you couldn’t help yourself when adding some…flare to their less than appealing tunics. (Now, you didn’t bury them in glitter or make it impractical just….well….they didn’t look like potato sacks any more!)

During your time with the army, you quickly made your way through each battalion, leaving each better and safer than before.

But one captain did catch your attention. One that worry a darling blue scarf and a eye catching green tunic with a matching hat! Link, the hero of courage, was a bit skeptical of you at first but quickly warmed up once he heard stories of how your magic saved dozens of his brothers in arms.

(I HAVE MORE I PROMISE IM JUST EEPY 😭😭)

this is a sign i need to continue my journey of 100% both 2014 and 2020 hw

anyways very scattered thoughts because i just woke up 😋

of course he had heard of the alleged seamstress who created and curated each of the soldiers uniforms with their own two hands. he had always heard his brothers sing their praises when it'd saved them from a close call with a aerolfos, how it had helped them with chronic pains from various reasons, and how it even helped their stamina, agility, etc, etc.

when he received his iconic tunic, cap, and scarf from the princess and pulled the master sword from its pedestal, he figured that would be it for any changes to his outfit, gear, and whatever else zelda and impa thought best he have for any battle.

it was not.

upon finding that his legendary tunic had been snagged during a fight (he didn't even know which one), he was suggested to give the seamstress a visit. he was told it wouldn't even be a ten minute visit, but he pushes the thought to the side because didn't want to add onto the pile of thousands of other uniforms they have to make and fix.

it gets to a point that impa has to step in because of reasons unknown to him (he suspects it's because she thinks "sloppy clothes leads to sloppy fighting," or something) and finally complies.

upon arriving at the seamstress' quarters (which was further from the main/major areas of the castle than you would think), he's met with fabric insanity.

on one end of the room, it's scraps and unfinished outfits, some with designs and words painted on link can't understand; the other looks like some sort of chamber with dummies paired with blast marks surrounding the area to go with them.

he's not comforted.

there was no one immediately visible in the room and he doesn't know if he wants to investigate further or just leave as everything as it is (he didn't want to risk one of the many mountains of fabric toppling over and crushing him).

he only gets the courage to take another few steps into the room when he hears speaking deeper inside.

nothing said was in his dictionary. was it the language of the words on the clothes?

you don't jump when his head peers around a corner— you must be used to people showing up out of nowhere— and continue to speak in the foreign language, hands still painting on the fabric.

he waits until you finish to take his tunic from where it was tucked in his pants, hands already moving to find the hole so he can push his finger through as proof.

you'd be stupid to not recognize the tunic in his hand.

the glint in your eyes is not something link wants to see (he had seen enough of those in cia and volga, though contrasting greatly in reason and effect), but he knows you're supposed to help him so he looks past it.

just this once (and not for the rest of their future, he swears).

[unnonexistence]

if i dont read enough fucked up sci fi & fantasy books i'll get stressed and start pulling my feathers out

[aberooski]

Watched Black Pearl again today and did some gx pirate au sketches to satisfy the demon inside if me, I am in a constant state of shivering all of me timbers right now.

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Hi there, i feel like our spouse doesn't react much to all the magical weirdness on our farm

Can i get some hc for Sdv+sve spouses one day waking up and being able to see an army of juminos recolting crops (farmer have like 4/6 juminos huts and lots of crops)

And the farmer just say "oh you can finally see them" while giving the juminos some raisins.

Heya 👋 Thank you for your ask, dear anon! (and I apologize for taking a little longer to answer 😅).

_________________________________________

SDV/SVE bachelors:

Alex can't believe his own ears! Spirits? For real? No way! The athlete dropped everything and quickly walked over to one of the Junimo and started poking at them, causing the little creature to squeak. "Alex, don't be rude. At least offer them raisins first." "Oh, sorry..." But he can't help himself because... a real spirits!

"Hey hon, I made you coffee-" Stepping out onto the front porch of the farm house, Shane found an army of apples with eyes and arms and legs following Farmer around like little chickens following mama hen. With a "fuck this shit, I'm out" face, he walked back home, thinking it was all from lack of sleep.

Sam's eyes nearly popped out of his orbits when he saw Farmer surrounded by apple-like creatures that were jumping and reaching for the raisins in Farmer's hands. The guitarist approached his spouse with an obvious question, but his stomach rumbled treacherously. "Do you have any raisins left for me?" Breakfast first, question later.

"Huh." That was all Sebastian expressed as he treated Junimo to some raisins. This creatures kinda cute, actually. "Sebby, dear, didn't it surprise you at all?" *Sebastian looks at the huge slime hutch, the coop with void chickens, the giant golden clock and the four tall warp obelisks* "Nah, not really, why?"

Not believing his own eyes, Harvey wiped his glasses and looked again, but what he saw before him had not changed. Farmer was still standing over the strange leaf house, and the apple-like creatures were still jumping around them. The doctor felt a little uneasy. He wants to ask. At the same time, he doesn't want to ask anything, lest he break his mind completely.

At first Elliott couldn't understand why there were different apples lying around his spouse. Red, yellow, green... blue and purple? Until those apples had eyes, arms and legs. "Good morning, Elliott, did you sleep well?" Apparently not, because the writer feels that sleep deprivation is making him see some... jumping apples.

Why would Magnus be surprised by the existence of Junimo? In fact, he's the one who introduced Farmer to these creatures. Interest in how his spouse had made friends quickly with the forest spirits, yes, but surprised? He is a wizard, he'd seen more stranger things than that in his life.

Well, that.... explains why Farmer refused Victor's advice to hire some helpers for the farm. Turns out his beloved spouse already has helpers... Little, apple-like helpers. Victor knows magic exists, but he didn't think he'd see something like this in real life. This is great, actually. Very interesting.

Does Lance see Junimo? *Chuckle* Of course, dear Farmer, and not only does he see them, but he even managed to ask the little forest spirits a few questions. For a good portion of raisins, because they love this treat so much. When else would the gallant adventurer have a chance to chat with Junimos, hm?

_________________________________________

SDV/SVE bachelorettes:

It had been about half a minute, and Maru couldn't let go of the idea that what she was seeing was the work of magic, and not Farmer's little robotic assistants. Magic, spirits... No, that somehow doesn't fit in her head. She's determined to study these 'Junimos' to see who or what they are. Erm, if the Farmer and the creatures themselves don't mind, of course.

You know that state when you have a lot of conflicting emotions bubbling up inside you, you don't know how to react to your own cognitive dissonance about the "magic" that is right in front of your eyes, but you try to stay positive for the sake of the person you love? That's what Penny was experiencing when her spouse was showing her forest spirits.

"Oh, so cute!" Abigail has a bit of magic in her, so of course she can see Junimo too. She's in awe of these forest creatures! And they are such wonderful helpers, harvesting the crops. "My spouse pays you well, yeah?" And the little Junimos jump around happily with tasty raisins in their little hands.

"Eeew! What is tha- Ah, okay, at least it's not rats." Apparently Haley can excuse cute magical forest spirits, but she draws the line when it comes to rats. Because she's terrified of those rodents, yuck. Junimos at least help her beloved Farmer with work, and they smell like forest freshness.

Merciful Yoba! Emily felt the presence of someone's unusual aura, but she couldn't explain who it was coming from. It turned out that all the time the little apple-shaped creatures had been at the farm and had helped her spouse! Kind spirits, how wonderful! And they like raisins? Oh, she sure has a treat for her new forest friends!

Huh, when Leah mentioned that Stardew Valley is "full of magic," she meant that it's full of inspiration for her future works, not literally... Oh, well. Yes, strange little creatures live with her and Farmer, so what? They're cute, kind, and hard-working. Great neighbours (not like she had when she lived in the Zuzu City).

Olivia thought all week that there were a bunch of mice running around the farm, stealing the ripe wheat. After expressing their fears to Farmer that their crops might be destroyed by pests, Farmer showed their wife that it wasn't mice, but little helpers, Junimos, who live there. ...She need a glass of wine. Maybe two.

"Oh, do you see them too, dear?" To be honest, Claire would rather not see them. Not that she minded the cute, erm, creatures, just... Eh, you know what? Why should she be surprised at all? There are so many unusual things and creatures (golden chickens, slimes) on her spouse's farm that there's no point in her being surprised.

Sophia was stuck somewhere between the "Adorable lil apples!" and "Eeeeep! What is that?!" when she saw her spouse surrounded by a dozen magical Junimos. The pink-haired girl floods Farmer with questions and tries to take pictures of the forest creatures on her phone, to show Scarlett (only they've scattered now, awww!)

_________________________________________

[transtundras-fr]

You suddenly find yourself in the world of Sornieth! Thanks to magic, you can turn yourself into any dragon breed you want. Assume the gender/colors/element are what you want. This isn’t necessarily about your favorite breed, but which breed YOU would be most comfortable being!

(A lot of these dragons overlap in category but I had to condense)

[wynnyfryd]

Trailer park Steve AU part 59

part 1 | part 58 | ao3

cw: canon-typical horror/gore (like for real this time), emetophobia, reference to minor character death. ty to @thisapplepielife for indulging my weirdly specific research about headstones

Steve tries to follow her — gets shot down before he even gets within speaking range, Max shouting at him to give her a minute the second she spots him coming over the hill. He backs off, hands raised in surrender, and then…

Well, then he’s already out of the car.

Well then his feet know where to take him.

His dad’s grave isn’t far. Maybe a football field away, close enough that he’ll be able to hear it if Max calls for help. He moves toward it without thought, his legs carrying him past simple overgrown markers in the oldest part of the park — crumbling remnants of civil war soldiers, farmers and shopkeepers and factory workers, people who worked the mines, people who died before his grandfather was born. People who might have been loved once, before time and moss and water stripped their names off of the stones.

Up the next slope, the markers get more elaborate, shift from bronze to granite to marble, to monuments and mausoleums and a fucking obelisk; ostentatious displays of the town’s oldest money. The coal barons, the oil tycoons. Rotten bastards, Wayne might say.

The Harringtons aren't that rich. They're further down the hill in a neatly manicured row of Indiana limestone; fresh flowers on each grave, the weeds plucked, the grass trimmed.

Dad's buried right next to Grandpa Otis.

It almost looks nice.

Crisp, clean, dry. Nothing to suggest the messy wet red of his father's demise. Steve shoves his hands in his front pockets and steps up to his dad's plot, toes the edge of it, the rounded lump of earth, sparse grass and loose soil where his father's bones are laid. The ground gives a little under his weight, the dirt compacting. Could he dig this up with just his hands? Could he claw through until he reached the bottom, pry open the box and peer inside? Unbidden, the image forms in his mind: worm food and rot, half a man left inside, somehow still frowning in disappointment with his jaw bone shining clean.

Steve's stomach turns. A sick shiver runs through him, saliva flooding his mouth, sweat beading at his hair line.

This isn't right.

Something's not right.

There's a sudden chill in the air, frigid wind carrying a smell like roadkill in the summer — heat wafting from the pavement, death clogging up his throat. Steve covers his nose and wills his shoulders down from his ears; tries to mutter words of comfort to himself under his breath. “Just a graveyard, Steve. Just a totally… normal…”

Ice on the back of his neck. Steve tenses every muscle, turns his good ear toward the sound of whatever's creeping up on him; something taller than him, something slithering and wet, its rasping rattles of frozen breath sending goosebumps down Steve's arms. His hands twitch inside his pockets.

Then, a voice — a voice that isn’t his, that can’t be anyone’s, because the man it belonged to is dead. “That Munson boy was right about you."

Steve can't fucking breathe. Dark clouds roll in around him, violent as a blooming bruise, and that voice behind him echoes — distorted, vicious; hungry.

"You are a black hole."

Steve grabs two fistfuls of his own hair and tugs; wills the pain to dispel the nightmare, his eyes swimming from the sting.

The thing behind him laughs. "Look how you ruined your mother," it snarls. "Look how you tore her apart.”

"Shut up!" Steve barks with his hands over his ears.

“Steve…” The voice deepens, beckons, thick with malice and rot. Steve slowly turns to face it, trembling all over, pulse thudding in his ears, and his shoes squelch in the dirt, and when he looks down he sees that the dirt has turned to mud that now turns to oozing red, a viscous river beneath his feet, flowing up over his ankles, pouring from his father's grave. And there, in front of him, a mangled remnant stands. The ruined corpse of Richard Harrington, his skin shriveled and gray, the torn parts of him held together by his clothes. There’s a hole in his torso where the exposed ribs glint like knives.

Steve throws up on himself.

The ground gives way beneath him, goes spongy like rotting meat, and the thing wearing his dad's face cackles as Steve sinks into the earth, the grave swallowing him whole, up to his calves, his knees, his thighs. "Join me," it offers, lipless smile full of teeth.

The glamor peels back to reveal a monster underneath, its scarred skin crawling in mucus-coated vines; naked, long-limbed, stitched together with burnt flesh.

Steve screams as he scrambles for purchase, up to his hips now in the muck, his feet on the lid of his dad's casket. He claws blindly at the loose ground but it’s all thick and wet with red, and the air itself is red; blood in the sky, in his eyes, in his lungs. He's going to die here. The voice tells him so. It's in his head now, a bellowing echo as the monster draws near, one hideous hand outstretched, an all-consuming join me, join me, JOIN ME—

“HEY!!!”

Max shouts directly in his face, shaking him hard by both shoulders where they're crouched on the cool ground, Kate Bush leaking from the headphones slung around her neck. Steve gives a startled shout and jerks back out of her grip, falling hard on his ass, landing harder on his elbows.

The world shifts back to blue. To dry, clean grass. To breathable air.

Steve pants up at the sky. His shirt clings to him where he's soaked it through with sweat. When Max offers him a hand, he stands on shaky legs, looks at the ground beneath his feet and screams again, scurrying back until his ass hits a stranger's headstone.

There’s a dent in the earth where he was standing. A smudge of packed dirt where he really did sink in. Steve stares at it; feels it reaching out for him, the dark patch thudding like a heart beat, spreading out like snaking vines.

He clutches at his heaving chest. Max’s eyes are huge on him.

"Okay, what the fuck?" she begs.

"What the fuck yourself!"

No heat behind the words, but they burn him, anyway, pushed out on a weak gasp. Is this what she was talking about? Is this what she calls nothing?

This doesn't feel like fucking nothing.

“Shit," she says, and her eyes go even wider. Steve can see the veins in them. "Shit, Steve, your nose…”

He swipes his arm across his face.

It comes back red.

—

part 60

tag list in separate reblogs under '#trailer park steve au taglist' if you'd like to filter that content. if you want to be added please comment and let me know (must be over 21; please either verify in the comment or have your age visible on your blog)

[one-little-nerd-stayed-home]

POV you are watching me listen to episode 14 of Outlaws and Obelisks

[mediumgayitalian]

Sometimes Will thinks he was destined to die at four, in penance. He should have choked on his own disease, his own plague; but he did not, and the only thing that died in him was the sparking flame Prometheus gifted them all, blown to matted ember in the stalk of his chest. 

Instead his brothers watched his shame bubble out of his mouth, circle him in clouds of spores, and they lied for him. They clung to his bloody hands and pushed him behind them. And then they were slaughtered, as were the punished firstborns, for the crime of their knowing existence: Will, marked, stood on their shrouds and ashes. 

He smells of guilt, he thinks. Of guilt and germ and rot. He hides it, in all the antiseptic he can bathe in, in all the ethanol he can consume. But his breath still stinks of it and his lying tongue burns. He is tall, removed from those around him; they cannot see the sores in his mouth or the inflammation of his throat from years and years of choking hands. Bandages hide the bright red spots up and down his arms. Burn scars cover his blackened fingernails. 

But the tallest obelisks are swallowed by the length of their shadows. And nothing can hide from Fate, from the servants she sends to collect for her. 

Nico gets closer, and closer. His hands are cool compresses on the hidden sores on Will's skin. It is relief, as he is never felt it.

Will is afraid.

Will is a deeply affectionate person.

It is in the mornings when he grabs Austin's grouchy, scowling face, pressing deafening and exaggerating smooches all over until he cracks and laughs. It is in the gentle hand on Kayla's shoulder on the range, waving wildly at the missed target until she nods, eyes bright again, face narrowed in determination along her next shot. It is in the gentle hip-check of a frantic, barking Clarisse out of the way, murmuring assurances as he patches a slash through Chris's bicep. It is in the sunshine-bright smiles pointed at everyone he sees, at the thanks, darlin'! at busy passing nymphs and tricking Chiron into giving up his paperwork. It is in both hands occupied by giggling, awestruck children and his shoulders the new hot seat, it is in the shrieking laugh bubbling out of Lou Ellen's mouth as he twirls her to music playing only in his head, it is in his holler of gravity's increasing on me!! as he crushes Cecil to the ground. It is in the arm he slings over Nico's shoulders, constantly, the parting mwah pressed to his temple, the brush of his guitar-callused fingertips across cheekbones, knuckles, shoulders and crooked elbows.

It is everywhere. It is constant. It is, almost, forgettable.

It is confounding.

Nico tests it, again. He waits for the dusk of campfire, on an evening cold enough even Will is in tight blue jeans, and he says, in front of everybody:

“You look good.”

The tips of his own ears are red, hidden by his hair, and his voice is low enough to have several onlookers wolf whistle.

But the flames don’t burst into being across Will’s nose.

Instead he grins, wide and grandiose, cocks his hip high, and says, in the worst exaggeration of his soft, subtle accent Nico has ever heard:

“Aw, don’t I?”

And Nico thinks:

Hm.

"Stay there. I'm coming to get you."

"I'm -- fucking trying."

Will exhales, quick and sharp, resting his sweating forehead on the cool rock. It's -- stupid. It's embarrassing.

Gods, he doesn't want to die like this.

[callmearcturus]

Paradise Killer is 6 dollars on Steam until May 16 and I am here to hard sell you all on it because it's one of the best games I've ever played.

I'm gonna go beyond giving you a bunch of punchy keywords and telling you it's queer as hell and making meme-y jokes, and I'm going to actually tell you what this game is.

So top-level, WHAT IS PARADISE KILLER?

Mechanically, Paradise Killer is an open-world murder mystery. There is zero combat but a lot of exploration of a very unique location. The majority of your time is going to be walking about Paradise 24, looking for people to discuss the case with and for clues that are scattered around the world.

One of the most interesting concepts in Paradise Killer that is both mechanical and narrative is deciding What Is Your Truth? What Is A Truth And What Is A Fact? From the moment you start the game proper, you can turn 180 degrees and begin the trial and decide who the killer is, before talking to anyone about the case.

For example, getting into the actual crime scene takes a lot of puzzle solving to unlock the sealed room where the victims were killed. But maybe instead of examining the crime scene, you talk to everyone on the island and think you have a good idea of what happened.

Meaning: It is perfectly valid to decide you have the answer to the mystery and just go complete the trial whenever you personally are ready. YOU decide when this ends.

Which frankly I think is a cool-as-fuck concept. Also, I fully believe if three different people find EVERY CLUE and talk to EVERY SUSPECT and hear EVERY PIECE OF EVIDENCE.... they might decide on three different truths entirely. And THAT to me is ingenious mechanical design I have not seen anywhere else in a video game.

Okay let's stop burying the lede and talk about the world of Paradise Killer.

The non-batshit version:

Paradise Killer takes place on a big, beautiful island, the 24th Paradise. The architecture is a delightful mix of black obsidian obelisks, brutalist monuments, opal crystals to slumbering alien gods, garden paths, luxury yachts, and a whole lot of gold and neon.

Neo-occultist urban residential vaporwave-core. If you are like me, you will be taking a lot of screenshots. My wallpaper on my computer is Paradise Killer.

Your interactions with the cast are done in visual novel-style, though I feel I have to shout out this isn't your stock Ren'py UI experience. Every single aspect of the way the game looks compounds the vibes even further.

And the characters are infuckingcredible.

(Notice the different font? This game has A FUCKTON OF ACCESSIBILITY OPTIONS, including dyslexic font options.)

Sammy Day Break, born under the sign of Shadow Zero, is the local distillery and bartender for the Syndicate. Talk to him about what's unique about the whiskey he's made on Paradise 24, or about the good old days of the Syndicate.

Is Doctor Doom Jazz, born under the sign of Cosmic Deceit, really that carefree about what happened? Is his willingness to rekindle his fling with Lady Love Dies just a diversion to hide something? Well, he's one of the most cooperative witnesses on the Island.

Crimson Acid has been through a helluva lot since the last time she saw Love Dies. Blessed by the gods with her stunning rack (of horns! OF HORNS!), she's become quite the idol now. So why is she also an information broker? And can you figure out what her true feelings for Love Dies are?

Between all of these conversations, you can explore the island and collect RELICS and BLOOD CRYSTALS (the local currency) and CITY POP SONGS.

Okay so the Slightly Batshit Version:

Shinji: The Syndicate worships alien gods who want to drown the world in war and blood. Lady Love Dies: I don't see how that makes us the bad guys.

You are LADY LOVE DIES, born under the sign KISS ME TO THE MOON, the INVESTIGATION FREAK. She was exiled to the Idle Lands several cycles ago for falling prey to the seduction of the god Damned Harmony and endangering the entire Syndicate. Only now, with the death of the Council on the eve of Paradise 25, is Love Dies summoned back to solve the murder.

The Syndicate are a group of functionally immortal humans from all across history who are trying to create the perfect bubble of reality, their utopic Paradise where they can safely revive their dead gods. They were granted many powers and boons by their first god, Silent Goat, and hope through rescuing more gods they will grow in power.

How do you create a bubble of reality to do all this totally ethical shit? Easy! You abduct a bunch of normie humans to live on your island to use as a mass sacrifice to generate energy to fuel the creation of each Paradise. If only the outsiders would stop getting in the way!

Paradise Killer's world is delightfully out of its goddamn mind and half of the fun of the game is just picking up little nuggets of information about each member of the Syndicate, the gods, why each Paradise failed (there was an outbreak of vampirism that took out like three of the Paradises???), and just the way this universe works.

Okay this post is already too long but I'm begging you all to give Paradise Killer a chance. It's gorgeous, it's funny, it's mechanically really interesting, it's chill as hell, it has an incredible soundtrack,

and you should try it.

I'LL SEE YOU IN A PERFECT 25 . . .

[wrens-garden]

These streams are so very sad, and sometimes in the moment it's a bit too much, but generally it's a fun sad, it's sad, but I'm having a good time.

I knew Vast would get lonely when left by themselves. Atlas buddy, you gotta be quick about this chase (I've only just started watching Sylph's stream. I'm about to make my own conspiracy board. Watch me)

Ash is purple now. Ash, please tell Vast about you're reconnect with Castrel. If she sees them without knowing she'll freak the fuck out. And I worry how that'd end.

Nemo! The whole gang's here. Widow trio? Does it count if no one was married?

Ice cream sounds great. Anything you will eat, your hunger bars were terrifying.

Thank you Ash. That's 4 eggs hatched now and two more that have been found I believe.

They should have his funeral at the obelisk. Right where they got absorbed. I'm kidding, kinda

This place is nice too, I guess. Probably a better place for everyone

I'll be honest, Vast, I can't help here, I've been to 2 funerals, I remember none of them.

Vast, I think you're good. Just speak from the heart and it'll be devastating.

[porcelainpocketfighter]

the Flight Rising dragon breeds as Jerma quotes

Fae: The whole moral of the story is, even little guys- even big guy- little guys got some big stuff in their- in their brains. Guardians: Be my Charge, or take this at least two months' supply of chips. The choice is yours. I stand you will make the correct one. Mirrors: Cheeseburgers? Byeah. Hotdogs? Byeah. Donuts? Byeah. Bar fightin'? Byeah. Bug collections? Byeah. Tundra: AAAUUGH- I forgot I was playing a game and I forgot I was streaming and I forgot I was sitting in a chair and I forgot where I was. Pearlcatchers: Why am I so short? Because God doesn't fucking love me. Ridgebacks: I eat more seafood than fruit. I eat more seafood than dairy, I eat more seafood than flour and bread. I don't eat all these other things, I eat SEAFOOD. Snappers: What would you like to say to the scientist a hundred years from now? Seeing a lot of 'Fuck you's'. Now, this scientist is gonna look at this and be like, 'What- how primitive were they? They must have been very primitive. They, immediately on talking to a potential scientist in the future, went right to vulgarities. Primitive species.' Spirals: If you had a fucking battleaxe and you were gonna try to get me with it, you are NOT gonna get me with it. I'm too fast for you. Way too fast. I am fast as FUCK and I have lightning-like reflexes. Bogsneaks: [crawling out from under a log] ANY SCRAPS FOR ME? Obelisks: This is a, um- this is a smoky… a smoky granite.​ ​Oh, I can tell by the flavor.​ Skydancers: I'm telling ya, I- I can like feel- I can like sense it, I can like sense the world around me. I can like feel the fucking world around me. I think I might be claymation. Clairvoyant. Imperials: 'At least they're handsome'. [chuckles] I appreciate that. Nocturnes: Hello, yes, may I come in your house? Thank you. I'M A VAMPIRE, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT. Coatl: [agitated beatboxing] Wildclaws: What animal do you think I would be? SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY. I think I'd be a wolf. I would be a wolf-lion hybrid mix. King of the junj- junjle, but still social and with it and ferocious. Aberrations: [10 seconds before being swept into the Wyrmwound] I am as safe as you can possibly be! It's never gonna happen! You'll never dunk me, you fuckers! Fuck all'a ya! It's not gonna ha- Aethers: We're just a bunch of dragons. 'Are you an alien?' …I am. Banescale: Why clean, when you can burn your house down? Gaolers: Global warming? Global warming my ass! Sandsurges: Did somebody say 'next game'? [wind howling in the bg] 'Yeah, let me load up Yakuza'. I'm in the middle of the damn desert, man, what are you talking about? Undertide: There are plenty- plenty- of fish in the sea, you understand? Some of them are small, some of them are big, some of them have- some of them are very mean, some of them'll dump ya. But as you can see, there's plenty of good fish too. Look, you see? There's this fish right here that's VERY good potential, like, spouse material. Veilspun: I'm not tiny, I'm compact!

[anthurak]

So I was listening to the Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress OST earlier and a random thought came to me:

You know what my Yugioh 'Crystal Wind Rin' AU needs, and really Yugioh ARC-V in general needed for it's Heartland/Xyz Dimension arc?

Alternate universe Anna Kozuki/Kaboom as a grizzled, badass resistance leader, obviously with a cool trenchcoat and possibly an eyepatch.

Who is always keeping many of the survivors and refugees of Heartland City safe from the Academia occupation forces by ferrying them around or out of the city with her fleet of train monsters.

All while being a constant thorn in Academia's side, both with hit-and-run attacks using her speedy combat trains...

...and also routinely bombarding Academia forces from afar with her Superdreadnought Rail Cannons, both her Gustav Max and her new Number 81; Super Dora.

Of course, Anna is a major help to the Lancers and other heroes when they arrive in Heartland, in contrast to gloomy/irritable/trigger-happy edgelord Kite, and is their main contact, along with Yuto and Shay, with the resistance.

She also makes a BIG presence in the big fight with Academia forces at the climax of the arc, joining into a Battle Royal/Group Duel against several elite Obelisk Force members and possibly even Aster Phoenix himself, despite not actually being present at the battle.

How does you do this you ask? Why, by unveiling her NEW ace-monster...

Superdreadnought Rail Cannon Juggernaut Liebe

Which Anna uses to utterly obliterate like five or six Chaos Ancient Gear Giants in quick succession from a couple dozen kilometers away.

Also Anna makes a later appearance at the final battle as one of the heavy hitters who all come together to blast Supreme King Z-ARC away for good.

Also also I'm trying to come up with an excuse for her to be involved in a turbo duel where she says 'fuck your motorcycles' and duels from one of her trains XD

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

loved your last headcanon on Mr. Qi

Now, to make it more angst. What if Mr. Qi threatens the Farmer and they do accept and divorce their spouse with no explanation, how would their spouse react to the Farmer trying to explain and return to them, because it was just another test of Mr. Qi

also... can you include sve bachelors? 👉👈 (and Isaac... if you want)

Good to see you again in the askbox, dear moot :3

Glad you liked that last ask, heh ❤️ Sure, I'll include the SVE bachelors and Isaac, thank you so much for the ask! Have a wonderfully day!

_________________________________________

Stardew Valley:

“That's the dumbest excuse I've ever heard.” Alex already didn't want to chat with his ex, and after hearing about their sudden divorce, the mood soured completely, and the athlete slammed the door in Farmer's face. But near the end of the evening, their words wouldn't leave his head, replayed over and over again. They were both happy, not a hint of anything bad. Maybe they- No, that story about mysterious man is kind of bullcrap. Farmer was probably just scared of married life, regretted the divorce and now they're trying to get it all back. Yeah, they are, and Alex won't listen to them again.

“I... I'm just speechless.” Despite the loss of words, Elliott was outraged, crying and inundating his ex spouse with tons of questions. His heart is broken, Farmer broke his heart! But... did they do to protect him? Then why didn't they tell him!- Oh, wait, they couldn't. They really couldn't? Yoba, the writer is all emotional and doesn't know if everything Farmer said is a true or an attempt to mess with his head and bring everything back to the way it was before the divorce. “Do you have anything to back up what you say?” Elliott needs proof. He also needs to calm down.

“Do you realize how wild that sounds?” Even Sebastian, who believes magic exists and felt the foul blow of the monster crab in the Mines, can't imagine that there's some blue mystical man who's watching everyone in the Valley and especially Sebastian's ex-spouse, and that mystical man's threats are what caused Sebby and Farmer's divorce. On the other hand... *Sigh* He wants to believe Farmer, but he has a hard time taking just their word for it. Without any proofs, it won't look very convincing, to say at least.

".....Don't know what kind of shit you're smoking, but don't drag me into this, and stay the fuck away from me and my family." Shane's divorce almost put him in the depressive hole he was in a while ago, and now Farmer is prying into his life to shake it up all again when things have just calmed down. Arw they fucking with him? He sobbed all day in his old room at the Marnie's Ranch, staring at divorce papers... He believed someone actually loved him... and now fucking what?! “You failed the test, then, now fuck off,” Shane said dryly to Farmer and walked away.

“...What?” So, what should Sam believe now? Because on the one hand, it's all lie and Farmer just wants Sam back, on the other hand, he believes in magic thanks to those obelisks on the farm where the guitarist lived with his ex. Has Farmer crossed this “person's” path? Then why, for what reason? Sam loved them, but... he wants no part of some strange business. Sammy is even afraid of Farmer now: what if they do something crazy again at the behest of this "Qi" (if he even exists and not just the ex's lies)?

“Yoba, what have you gotten yourself into...” Honestly, after Farmer's words about “a mighty demigod who demands to fulfill his tests” Harvey imagined not some evil wizard, but a mafia head whom his ex had crossed the path. Farmer still claiming it's a wizard? “Okay, and where is this ‘wizard’ located, do you know?” At the casino- okay, that really sounds like the head of the mafia. Basically, Qi might as well be the mob head... Harvey's tired and heartbroken, Farmer... No, no more excuses. Please leave the doctor alone...

Stardew Valley Expanded (+Isaac):

“Answers, now.” Magnus didn't have time for Farmer and already wanted to send his ex away from his tower with a snap of his fingers, but as soon as Farmer mentioned “Qi”... This person (or anomaly) is of great concern to the Ministry of Magic with his strange behaviors. There was even talk that "Qi" was somehow involved in corruption in the Crimson Badlands... The old wizard would listen to Farmer and report to the Ministry because "Mr. Qi" could threaten people's lives. “...I know what you want to say Farmer, but not now.” Whether they will be able to be together again, no one knows.

“If what you say is true, we need to report to Magnus and Camilla immediately.” Lance's patience was enviable - anyone in his shoes would have just chased Farmer away. Plus that Mr. Qi that Lance's ex told him about... The adventurer himself is not a member of the Ministry, but he got some information about Qi. Quite disturbing information, and they both now need to report to the senior mages and wait for their response. "On one hand I can understand you if it was the only way to protect me and yourself. But you also have to realize that you can't just come back, and the pain and separation after the divorce will suddenly go away. We're already expected at the meeting, let's go."

“Is that... true?” Maybe someone else in Victor's place would have laughed at such pathetic attempts by Farmer to justify themself, but the spaghetti lover thought hard about their words. He may not be an adventurer like his ex, but he knows about the existence of monsters and magic in general. And that someone very powerful mage is playing with Farmer's life and his is a very possible scenario, considering that Farmer was surrounded by equally strange and magical occurrences. His heart is still broken over the sudden divorce, but he's willing to hear them out.

".....Get out." What a great start of Isaac's day, just fantastic: not only has his ex-spouse been stalking him for a week, but they've given the scarred adventurer the most absurd excuse for their cowardice. No honest explanation from them, apparently, and to be honest - he doesn't want to listen to them. Out of the Badlands' post, he has no time to them. But when he complains to Alesia about their excuse, she will change her face dramatically, saying that “Qi” exists and is wanted by the Order and the Ministry. Isaac will be a bit taken aback. And starts looking for Farmer.