#not going to say more about it because its a project i want to keep for myself for now (and posibly for ever)
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And I continue again with another OC ask thing that nobody but myself asked.
Because it's fun!
This time again with Sammy, the walking contradiction! A vampire hunter turned vampire against her will!
Because I love her--
vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv This gal vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
1. Are you superstitious?
SM: That would mean putting my fate in the hands of someone or something else. No.
2. Would you be phased about walking under a ladder?
SM: No.
3. What would you do if a black cat crossed your path?
SM: ...Nothing? What does it matter?
4. How would you react if you broke a mirror?
SM: Depends on who it belonged to.
5. Do you avoid any certain number? If so, which ones? Why?
SM: Not a fan of 7... dunno why. It makes me mad.
6. What's your favorite cryptid?
SM: If there's any that doesn't mess with people, then that one. Otherwise, I hate all of 'em.
7. Would you ever go cryptid hunting? If so, why?
SM: ...You're asking me? The vampire hunter? Gee, I wonder why I do it?!
8. What do you think about ghosts?
SM: Depends on the type. Some are tragic, others not so much.
SM: Johnny knows more about this kind of stuff. I just do my job.
9. Have you ever seen a ghost?
SM: ...What're ya, a cop? Not telling.
10. Have you ever gone ghost hunting? If so, why?
SM: ...Yes, I have. Because it's kind of necessary for me-- us. Its annoying that I have to state that out loud, thought it'd be obvious.
11. What do you think about magic? Are you generally in favor or against it?
SM: Cheating. Dirty tricks for cowards that can't do anything by themselves. It corrupts the mind and leads you to become complacent. That's why THEY use it.
12. Do you know any magic? If so, is it a natural or learned skill?
SM: Even if I know it, that doesn't mean I'd use it. Or want to use it. Much rather put my trust in steel and silver.
13. What would you say would be your favorite use of magic?
SM: The only good use of magic is keeping it locked up.
14. Have you ever made a deal with a magical or supernatural entity?
SM: IT. WAS. NOT. A DEAL.
15. What form would your familiar take?
SM: A grenade. So I can blow it up alongside my target, and never see it again.
16. Have you ever traveled into the past, and so, what did you change?
SM: No. If only...
17. Have you ever traveled into the future, and if so, how was it like?
SM: No. The only future I have is in the grave, once this is all over.
18. Have you ever had a prophetic vision or dream, and if so, what was it like?
SM: None that I recall.
19. Have you ever had an astral projection or out of body experience?
SM: No. Johnny says he has though, and with how weird that kid is, its probably true.
20. Have you ever visited another plane of reality or existence, and if so, what was it like?
SM: No.
21. Have you ever attended a seance or used a ouija board? What happened?
SM: I think I did it once with my old friends. The details are... blurry, though.
22. Do you keep things like salt, garlic or silver on hand for defensive purposes?
SM: Salt is more Johnny's thing. Says it's spiritual protection or something. Can never go wrong with some silver, though. Punch a good hole into a bloodsucker with ease. The garlic thing though? Totally fake. If its not blood, they can't smell it.
23. Have you ever cleansed your surroundings with sage or holy water?
SM: Again, more Johnny's thing. I can't even stand the thought of holy water.
24. Do you believe in the existence of extraterrestrials? If so, why?
SM: I didn't believe Johnny at first, but then I saw them.
25. Do you believe in any conspiracy theories? And if so, which ones and why?
SM: When you're unaware of what's goin' on behind the curtain, it's easy to discard any theory as baloney. Take a peek, and you'll never doubt again.
26. What would you do if you came face to face with a rabid zombie?
SM: Same as I do with any bloodsucker. Fill it with silver, then tear it apart limb by limb. My only regret would be not being able to make it suffer more.
27. Would you allow a vampire into your home?
SM: My father did. Once.
28. Have you ever witnessed a werewolf transformation?
SM: Yeah. It was like watching vampirification take place in the span of a couple of seconds.
29. How likely is it that you would be charmed and fall prey to mermaids?
SM: Null. Flesheaters are the same as bloodsuckers. No mercy for either.
30. What supernatural creature would you most prefer to be?
SM: Anything else, but this.
you: me: me: here’s a weird oc ask meme involving various mysterious, supernatural, and paranormal subjects that you can fill out on your own or with the help of your followers 👽✌
(01) Is your OC superstitious? (02) Would your OC be phased about walking under a ladder? (03) What would your OC do if a black cat crossed their path? (04) How would your OC react if they broke a mirror? (05) Does your OC avoid any certain numbers? If so, which ones, and why?
(06) What is your OC’s favorite cryptid? (07) Would your OC ever go cryptid hunting? Why or why not? (08) What does your OC think about ghosts? (09) Has your OC ever seen a ghost? (10) Would your OC ever go ghost hunting? Why or why not?
(11) What does your OC think about magic? Is your OC generally for or against magic? (12) Does your OC know any magic? If so, is it a natural talent or a learned skill? (13) What would your OC say would be their favorite use for magic? (14) Has/would your OC ever made a deal with a magical or supernatural entity? (15) What form does/would your OC’s familiar take?
(16) Has your OC ever traveled into the past? If so, did they change anything? (17) Has your OC ever traveled into the future? If so, what was it like? (18) Has your OC ever had a prophetic vision or dream? If so, what did they see? (19) Has your OC ever had an out of body experience or astral projected? (20) Has your OC ever visited another plane of reality or existence? If so, was it by choice?
(21) Has your OC ever attended a seance or used a ouiji board? What happened? (22) Does your OC keep things like salt, garlic, or silver on hand for defensive purposes? (23) Has your OC ever cleansed their surroundings with things like sage or holy water? (24) Does your OC believe in the existence of extraterrestrials? Why or why not? (25) Does your OC believe any conspiracy theories? If so, which ones, and why?
(26) What would your OC do if they were face to face with a rabid zombie? (27) Would your OC allow a vampire into their home? (28) Has your OC ever witnessed a werewolf transformation? (29) How likely is it that your OC would be charmed by and fall prey to mermaids? (30) What supernatural creature would your OC most prefer to be?
#self reblog#oc ask meme#OC stuff#i will do this too with all my other characters#BECAUSE I CAN GHYAHYAHYAHAYA
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i am so fucking terrified, i don't know how to get through this waiting
I guess I'm asking if there's any hope left to be had
the wait is so brutal but yes, i firmly believe that there is always hope!! some things i'm trying to keep in mind are:
- the red haze-- early results seem widely red because in-person votes lean republican. those votes are also counted first and faster because they're smaller counties compared to denser ones that lean democrat. make sure you're looking at the % of ballots counted because projected results aren't true results. the race won't start to actually solidify until tomorrow morning.
- keep an eye on your state and local reps! the nitty gritty stuff can be more positive than the national (i live in a pretty rural area but i just happily voted for rep underwood--a younger progressive black woman--a second time).
- just because results come short of what we hoped doesn't mean they represent popular opinion. in florida, marijuana and abortion rights have fallen short even with a 50%+ majority because they require a 60% majority to pass. i know it's incredibly disheartening to not see popular opinions supported by law but i also believe that you have to remember that people, especially people in historically red states, don't necessary tow the stereotypical line. there is room for movement and change.
- there are ballots that currently aren't being counted because they have errors that are CURABLE and CAN be counted if corrected. i already reblogged something about it but if you voted (esp if by mail) please answer unnamed calls because it could be about your ballot. if you go here at vote.com you can also track your ballot.
- there are always, always things for us to do between elections. encourage your friends and family to look forward at the 2026 midterms (they can have huge effects on congress) and start planning, see if there are any campaigns that could use your help moving forward, look into working polling stations in the future (i did it in 2018 and it was a long but fulfilling day), get the fuck outside and moving around. find out where you can volunteer around you- homeless shelters, food banks/kitchens, community events. read some history and some theory-- we aren't actually in completely unprecedented times and it's important to remember where we've progressed from.
- honestly? stop giving batshit crazy people the attention they want. no rage engagement. its what they want. focus on raising awareness without directly interacting with them.
- it fucking sucks ass that its this close and that extremists win. i will never ever say that it doesn't. but it will not be the end. it will be hard but thats when we have to lean on each other. we can't be afraid to ask each other for help and we have to find things to be excited and hopeful for. there is some truth to "other people have it worse so i have to keep going". who are we to give up on the whole?
maybe im just tipsy but i just find so much hope and inspiration in the work so many people put into civil service. people want better than what we have and are fighting for us. i can't let myself get too negative because it doesn't do any good to wallow. just in general i love humanity too much to let the bad win.
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also like i partially found out i might be intersex because i was looking at trans stuff and there was like "(however many) months on t and finally seeing some bottom growth" and like pictures of t-dicks and i was like.... um.... that's kind of just what my clit looks like anyways. so i was like "hey google give me a quick rundown on this" and learned what clitoromegaly was and then i was like. hm. intersex resources. and it's like a sign? symptom? side-effect? of certain intersex conditions
#i mean like pcos runs in the mums side of my family but i dont have all the symptoms of that#i do also have like. more hair?? than the average afab person#like dark hair on my stomach and chest and back#and my face. whats disappointing about the face hair is that it isnt enough to be able to grow a beard#so i cant even fuck with gender that way#tagging as nsft just because of like genital mention#genital mention#nsft#shoutout to transmascs on t who show their t-dicks on the internet it was really helpful#also i dont know how to describe it but like. my natural face shape is kind of masculine??#like it would be plausible for a cis amab perisex man to have my face without looking feminine#if you get what im saying??#if it sounds like im reinforcing sex or gender essentialism please say i am struggling to find words#unshoutout to the boys in primary school who made fun of me for having hair under my arms and starting a whole decade of insecurity-#-about having hair on my body lmao#for the record i dont think certain face shapes are indicative of gender and all im just going by like. patterns?? in afab vs. amab faces#also not that i think afab vs. amab is the entire categorisation of human sex characteristics but um. working with what vocab i have here#i think what also really kicked it off. was relating to a fair few experiences intersex people have socially#particularly intersex ppl who were afab and faced a lot of pressure to make their bodies conform to feminine beauty standards#and it was like.... oh lol.... my mum did that to me!!#it comes from her own internalised shit bc she has pcos (idk if she identifies as intersex even tho she could if she wanted) but still.#dont project that onto a 10 yr old lmao. she keeps buying me hair removal products#ALSO floored by an experience i have. in which apparently half my friends dont feel pressure to shave their legs#because the hair on their legs is like. light and thin and barely visible and i was like?? huh??#what do you MEAN your legs don't look like your brothers/fathers if you dont shave??#im starting to think they dont shave their arms. their arms might just naturally not have a load of hair#i dont shave my arms though. cannot be bothered with that and also like. why would i do that#also you know that like. happy trail i think its called?? on “men's” stomachs??#yeah i have that naturally yeah thats right im naturally sexy#if you cant tell i am putting “girls” “mens” “boys” “womens” etc. in quotes to indicate that is just the normal society way of saying it
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has no one made an edited version of tsb thats like. just the sparks parts lol
#im a fake fan (i have not watched the entire documentary)#i did watch the first like 25 minutes once and ive obviously seen the bonus features w the guys but#im sorry this is just because with the exception of like ex band members and other actual relevant music people (like todd rundgren)#i do not want to watch other people talking abt spars bc its partly like what do you know abt this band and also#if sparks have been so important to you why are you only saying it now .#OGH anyway my hot take abt the documentary. i get it and i think it was a good thing for the guys however#i wish it was a little more spars focused but i know they gotta keep up their mystique#the only reason im asking for this now is because of what im planning for my sparstember project#but like for real if it was just 2 and a half hours of the guys vagueing about sparks and going places well that would be better. to me#this is nothing against edgar either btw its just my own personal onion abt the doc
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Redesigns of Meden, Etha and Nua i did in july for artfight !
#original story#original character art#alien oc#i really needed a break#i worked on other non radio isotope stuff and it was great#not going to say more about it because its a project i want to keep for myself for now (and posibly for ever)#but the ri hyperfixation is back ! i re read the old versions of the story and omg#to the two persons who read the very first draft of the story im so sorry it sucks so bad#anyway i think from now on im going to let my art sit for a month or two before posting it here#so i can enjoy it for myself before judging its worth by how well it performs online#the artowl#radio isotope#ch : meden#ch : etha#ch : nua
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Love to go back to my desk once I've woken up and see whatever weird thing I was working on at like 5 am. This one I think is genuinely interesting but also would look so deranged to anyone else 😭 I was writing a color coded guide to how I group drivers in my head with examples with different grids(i.e. how the demographics change) and now I want to write one for all of the 2000-now grids. Completely normal behavior what are you talking about
#let me know if anyone wants to see it :D i like to do these little projects for myself bcs its fun to be meticulous#but as i said i do think its really interesting what the demographic of the grid is#(how i group them is basically about debut year which comes with certain impressions on my part)#but i say it looks deranged bcs one time i showed my dad my f1 guide book#(i have a notebook where i wrote down guides of all the grids like with teams/drivers/team changes/etc)#(and also write down all of the race wknd results from this season)#and hes like '...oooookayyyyyyy 😶'#ITS FUN FOR ME OKAY#im just fond of 'record keeping' ig and i really think the older grids are interesting#id love to do the 90s but the further back you go the more confusing it gets tbh#like only a handful of drivers ik from then and also more drivers#i actually have written grid guides twice....sry its rly fun actually 😭#but bcs i switched notebooks and i wanted to make a better one#but it was so interesting bcs i made the first one when i was getting into f1 and then the 2nd one was like after i had watched older races#so the first time i only knew a couple drivers but then 2nd time i recognized practically every name#lmao this started bcs i had to write a 2023 guide to myself so i could memorize all the teams and drivers#and i remember really not knowing like any of them but now i think i could do back until 2018 from memory#before that gets a bit hsrd just because there's a lot of drivers that just come and go super quickly and leave not much impression imo#okay anyways now i must embark on my deranged organizational adventure#catie.rambling.txt
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Remembering the brief period in my life when i was obsessed with ashido, the only filler character with rights bc kubo originally planned to include him in the manga but had to cut him for time
#bleachposting#maybe its time to think about him again since i think about arrancar and hueco mundo so much#maybe its time to make him interact with the rest of them super begrudgingly#hey soul society we found one of your guys living in our basement. yeah he couldnt figure out how to leave. yeah for like 100 years.#do you want him back or.#listen i think hed be kind of upset to see how many parallels he has with the arrancar#wrt being stuck in survival mode for so long and trying to figure out how to be a person again#like can you see it. can you smell what im saying.#and also more frustrations he tries to ignore regarding his zanpakuto still not telling him its name#and it wont until he kind of. accepts some things about himself.#also maybe he should have cool fights with them and gain a mutual respect. listen. im right.#i remember wanting to make an rp blog for him#and it did exist briefly but i was so nervous about it#i dont think i ever advertised it on my other blogs. does it still exist?? did tumblr ever nuke it?? i cant remember the name#anyway during my brief obsession with him i projected on him super hard and made him trans. why? because. i could.#will i keep him that way? probably. just in a different way.#he hasnt had to deal with normie societal expectations in a long ass time. gender is whatever to him. thog dont caare.#he may have been holding onto the duties of a shinigami as a last straining tether to his sanity but like. that shit is going to snap.#its just a matter of when. and only THEN will he be able to move forward i think. instead of just being stuck the way he is.#like yeah he is literally stuck since shinigami cant make gargantas. but he is also metaphorically stuck. see it writes itself.#APPARENTLY HES IN ONE OF THE LIGHT NOVELS AND TRAINS A BABY CIEN?? THATS SO CUTE WTF
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strip for me.
part four
pairings: hyungline x reader
synopsis: hyung line got you trapped in a situation that you can’t get away from.
wc: 8.4k
warnings: heavy smut, minors dni, fivesome, bullying (not promoting violence or bullying), degrading, dirty talks, curses, masturbation, hyung line being mean. this is not proof read.
note: this is not the end for strip for me so calm down. we have more to come. the next part will be heeseung’s solo part. anyway, i know it took time so please enjoy it. reblogs and replies are highly encouraged. this is not proof read so excuse the errors for now. let me know your thoughts by sending me asks. thank you so much.
part one; two; three
slutofpsh 2024 © all rights reserved.
“we’re going to have so much fun...” jake stated meaningfully before winking at you.
your steps halt from approaching the chair they reserved for you. their eyes are fully focused that despite the teacher’s continuous rambling about the project, they don’t give her any attention.
“you can sit here, doll.” and sunghoon drags the chair near him then taps it once before flashing you a soft smile, his fangs showing.
“what happened to the uniform i lend you?” he sounds a little upset while looking at your fresh polo. heeseung got you a new one that fits you perfectly.
you blushed, “i p-put it on my locker. i will wash it first then give it back to you. thank you for let me borrow it.”
he smirks, “nah, you can keep it.”
jake and jay stared at him with confusion. they can clearly remember how bad his mood was these past few days, now he’s acting like as if he’s the happiest man that walked on earth. it’s just so odd.
you obliged and sat beside sunghoon while he stare at you, eyes almost forming heart. heeseung scoffs and took off his coat then placed it on your lap since you’re wearing a skirt. a bit too short from his liking, to be specific.
with blushing cheeks, you thanked him silently.
“did i miss anything?” jake asks, confused.
jay furrowed his brows and stared at his two other friends. heeseung met his eyes and cleared his throat before sitting straight. sunghoon seemed unbothered, eyes still fixed at you with a grin on his handsome face.
“w-why?” you asked him, feeling slightly uneasy because of how he’s not taking his eyes off from you.
“nothing, you look pretty.” he mumbled so naturally before dragging your chair even closer. he did it with so much ease, he’s so strong.
you glanced away, trying hard to ignore his heated gaze. jake’s watching all of these with his two eyes without blinking. a hint of confusion and a mix of jealousy flickers inside him.
“the fuck is going on?” he stated with so much sarcasm.
if jay can shut his mouth and ignore it, well definitely not jake. he has a lot of questions inside his mind. why are his friends acting like this? and most of all, why the fuck aren’t you like that to him?
“let’s just discuss the project.” heeseung blurted out, blocking any chances to be asked by jake.
he was about to complain more, wanting to dig about this situation deeper, but stopped himself. with clenched jaw, he rests his back on his chair then glanced at your lowered head.
he scoffed, “sweetheart, i’m a little jealous. you need to make it up to me.” he stated that made your cheeks blush, ears turning red.
sunghoon rolls his eyes and impatiently taps the table, “let’s start!”
and with that, heeseung then discusses the possible topics you can research for this project. your mouth slightly gaps at how he was able to keep up with what the teacher was saying when you clearly saw him focusing on you moments ago.
it went on, its just jay who listens and you, slightly. jake and sunghoon didn’t even tries to act that they are serious to this project, one plays through his phone, the other had his head slumped over the desk. sunghoon’s hand lays on yours casually, its been like that ever since he lowered his head to sleep.
jake whined when he loses the round and glances at your direction. he smirks and winks at you which made you blush. he giggles and eyes unconsciously landed on sunghoon’s hand.
his smirk faltered and childishly removes it. jay notices and scoffed before writing down on his notes. jake then grabs your hand to intertwin your fingers together, a satisfied smile plastering his handsome face.
heeseung rolls his eyes at it then continued talking about the project that the other two boys obviously doesn’t care about.
“we’ll be doing our project on our house later.” heeseung said as a last statement to wrap your small meeting.
your head perks and back straightened at what he just said. his eyes caught you right away, attentive of you.
“can we just d-do it here at school?” you suggested since doing it on their house doesn’t sit right for you.
one of his eyebrow arches upwards, “do you have any problem doing it in mine?” he asks using a serious tone.
your lips slightly trembles and glances at jake on your side when he gradually took your hand on his lips to place a gentle kiss.
“u-uhm, i can’t go h-home late. my mom will be so worried.” you tried to reason out.
it was partly true as she was used of you coming home early. heeseung’s house is pretty far from your school and so it will take time to go home. besides, you have no problem asking your mom to pick you up by the school gate, but it will definitely raise curiosity if you suddenly ask her to pick you up at a random house.
his head tilts, “leave that one to me.” he stated and then stood up to leave the circle.
“b-but—” you are held down by jake, yanking your arms to prevent you from standing up and follow heeseung.
jay stood up then taps sunghoon on the shoulder to wake him up.
“no buts, sweetheart.” and jake leans to give you a swift kiss on the cheek then leave as well.
your eyes widen and roamed around to check if somebody saw. they’re pretty busy discussing about the project, seems like your group was the first one to finish.
a large hand resting at the small of your back is what snaps you back to your senses. he gently caress it up and down then you look over your shoulder to face sunghoon.
his eyes squints a bit, obvious that he just got awoken from a nap. “something wrong?” he asks.
you shake your head lightly and he just stares for a while before nodding his head. he stood up and guided you to go back to your chair as well.
the period ended and after the whole class thanked the teacher and bid her good-bye, she walks out of the room. after feeling the need to use the bathroom, you headed out as well.
jake’s eyes follows you and when you’re out of his sight already, he swat sunghoon’s shoulder.
“the fuck is your problem?” he hissed at him, his brows drawned closer to each other and he sets his phone down like he’s ready to punch jake right away.
“my problem? what is your problem?” jake hisses back. “why are you suddenly acting like a fucking loser in front of y/n?”
jay smirks and just listens. heeseung watches too, a ghost of a smile playing over his lips.
sunghoon’s forehead slowly loses it crease then he acts innocent before glancing back at his phone. jake almost threw his notebook at him. he can’t believe it was that fast to calm him down. by the mere mention of your name.
“what do you mean? no i’m not.”
“here you go, baby. you can sit here, doll.” jake mimics him exaggeratedly. jay laughs at how he mirrored sunghoon while the latter clenches his jaw.
it was his turn to push jake’s shoulder. “i don’t talk that way!” he says, defensive.
“you actually do, dude.” jay fires back while heeseung just laughs because of it.
“whatever.” he mumbled, ears turning red.
jake rolls his eyes, “what the fuck happened? i thought we will punish her?” and his gaze moves from sunghoon towards heeseung.
heeseung straightens his back and glances away, totally guilty of it. jake just couldn’t believe it. these two were the ones so heated up when one of their classmates reported you meeting beomgyu up at the end aisles of the library. they were so hyped up on punishing you and then they’re acting like this?
“i fucking resisted dicking her down, man!” jake complained.
“nobody told you to do that.” heeseung shrugs his shoulder off that made jake clench his jaw, pissed off.
well, the older one was right. they never agreed on anything but to imply punishment. but that was jake’s punishment for you. that was his way to let you know that he’s mad and upset. you always knew how much he couldn’t get enough of you and how he would bury his dick inside you any chances he gets.
“jake’s right. i declined her orgasms to make a point.” jay stated, looking a bit upset as well.
the boys glances at him with furrow brows, “you did what?” jake asks in disbelief.
jay shrugs his shoulder, “you know how much i love seeing her get off. its always her pleasure over mine. i needed to send her a message.”
heeseung sighs and sunghoon was so ready to hold his collar right there and then.
“dude what the fuck? she must’ve felt so frustrated and bad!” he hissed at his friend.
now, jake’s pissed off eyes darted back at him. he pushes his friend to sit back properly.
“calm down lover boy, i’m not yet done with you.” he fired at him.
sunghoon lets out a strained sigh, completely done with jake targeting him nonstop.
“come on, i lost control too you know? but what am i suppose to do when she said she’s sorry? of course i couldn’t help it.” sunghoon ranted that made the three boys around him furrow their brows.
the frown on jake’s face deepens as jay and heeseung slightly loses their minds. they contemplates and wonders if they heard that right.
“what did you say?” heeseung fires at sunghoon that made him confused. the other two boys kept their mouth shut, jaw clenched.
“she said sorry.”
they were silenced when sunghoon repeated it for them to hear it clearly. jake was the first one to react as he scoffed and heaved a sigh to calm himself down.
“that’s it, you’ll be the last one to fuck her later.” jake stated, a bit (totally) pissed.
sunghoon thick brows furrowed now, “what? that’s unfair! when did we decided that?” his head cranes to the oldest, trying to gain alliance. after-all, heeseung is in charge of equality and fairness.
but to his surprise, the older one has his brows hardly furrowed as well. his eyes looking serious and are piercing right at him.
“i agree with jake.” jay says casually that made sunghoon complain even more.
“hyung?” sunghoon calls out heeseung because this is the perfect timing to step in and break this shit going on.
“sunghoon will be the last one to touch her then?”
to his dismay, its suddenly apppointed that he will sit back and watch while his three friends devour you. it will be torturous, but its better that than not having you later. he curses and just slumped his head over the table to distract himself with a good nap.
“fucking fuck.” jake curses, still pissed.
jay claps his shoulder, “calm down. i’m afraid you’ll piss your pants sooner or later.” he joked that only made him even more pissed.
he pushes his hands away, “shut up. i’ll surely get even later with y/n. she can’t do that.”
“hey, don’t be too carried away. you’ll scare her.” jay warns him before glancing to the older guy, “right, hyung?”
heeseung was silent before he lets out a heavy sigh. “no, i agree with jake.” he shut his eyes and massages his temple a bit.
“we need to teach her a lesson. she can’t have her favorite or it will ruin us all.”
on the other hand, you’re inside the girl’s bathroom and washing your hands when (name) walks in together with her minions. she’s one of the popular girls in your class. very pretty and rich.
her mean eyes darted right at you. it screams danger so you glanced away from her and just focuses on your hand.
she walks closer and stopped beside you.
“who can expect that the quiet girl in class can be such a cunt?” her words made your brows furrow.
“excuse me?” you’re taken aback with how aggressive she is. it was so unexpected. she never approaches or talk to you then suddenly she’s going in this hard?
the response obviously made her even more mad. she raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms. one glance to her minions and they went on both of your sides, cornering you. they’re giggling like hyenas.
“ooh, look at you acting all brave just because you think those boys are interested in you?” the bitterness lingers over your tone.
your brows narrowed in confusion as to what she’s talking about. you wondered more, then realization finally hits you like a big truck. boys... heeseung and his friends?
you glanced at her, “i don’t know what you m-mean.”
oh no. you stuttered. and that only mean one thing. that you’re lying and you know you are. because you out of all people, knows what she means.
you thought you’re being slick on hiding what’s going on between you and those boys, but definitely you’re wrong. you couldn’t help, but to blame it on them as they’re the ones being so bold about it. also because they’re really the one should be blame for it.
she lets out a loud sarcastic laugh, her eyes oozing with anger. she pushes your shoulder off. “oh fuck you! i’m not dumb!”
you shut your eyes and was about to walk away when her minions hold you down.
“let me go!” you tried squirming, freeing yourself which you failed miserably.
one of them curses at you and even elbowed your side. you grunted and folds because of the pain. (name) then walks closer and yanked your arm so you can face her.
“bitch! whore!” and she started to be physical, slapping you left and right.
“p-please, stop...” you begged which they ignored completely. she just continued hurting you and her friends hold you to prevent any resistance.
“you think they really like you? think again bitch!” she pulls your hair hardly making you face upwards. when your tear stained eyes met her arrogant ones, she smirks.
“for them you’re just a toy they will play with until they’re sick and tired of you.” and after that one last sentence she pushed you hard to the floor.
her friends laughed so hard while you have yourself slumped across the cold concrete. tears streaming down your face.
“let’s go girls. let’s leave that slut alone.”
you cried, feeling your face hurting and some other places in your body. but that’s not what causing your tears to flow nonstop. its what (name) said that had a big blow on you.
what she says was partly right. you have no idea what those boys want from you and base on how they treats you is similar to what she implied. a toy. that’s all you are for them. and that hurts you so much.
“y/n...” you snapped back to reality when you heard a faint call on your name.
“h-huh?” when you lift your head, you’re met with jay’s furrowed brows. his eyes scanning yours with gentle look on it.
heeseung stands a few feet away with jake. your hand sways that caught your attention, even before you can glance at the side, sunghoon’s face came into your view.
his brows folded in a worried way, “are you all right, doll?” and you can feel him squeeze your hand slightly.
“y-yes.”
he pursed his lips and scanned his eyes over your pretty face. his other free hand have your things. jake shows a displeased expression then walked towards your direction.
“give her some space. you’re crowding her.” he says, interrupting and even pushed sunghoon away from you.
hoon’s hand detached from holding yours that pissed him off a little. his eyes shooting glares at jake when he grab your wrist and started guiding you towards the car that just parked beside heeseung.
heeseung opened the door to the passenger seat when you’re near enough. he tilt his head asking you to enter his car. you glanced at his serious eyes, hands fidgets.
“my m-mom... she still doesn’t know—”
“don’t worry too much about it, angel. i already talked to her.” he stated in a lazy tone.
your mouth slightly gaps, doesn’t really want to believe him right away. you knew your mom. she’s a little bit strict when it comes to you hanging out a bit too late of your curfew at home.
“r-really?”
heeseung stares at your eyes before letting out a sigh. he fished his phone out from his pocket then dialled someone. he tapped the speaker on and eventually you heard the sound of somebody answering the phone.
“heeseung-ah?”
your eyes widen at the familiar voice errupting from the other line. heeseung handed you the phone so you can talk to her.
“m-mom..”
“y/n? darling, heeseung called me and told me that you’ll be staying late in their house for a group project?” she continuously said. you can tell base of the tone of her voice that she’s thrilled about you having friends.
“y-yes.”
“well, he’s such a nice boy. very polite as well and such a sweetheart for calling me himself to inform me about this project.” she blabbers nonstop. your cheeks blushed while feeling a bit embarrassed about it.
jake rolls his eyes as he throw his things inside his own car parked near heeseung’s. jay went to his and rest on it while waiting patiently. sunghoon hangs both of the straps of your bag on his shoulder before he gets on his big bike, holding his helmet on his free hand.
“u-uh, yes. he’s the president of the student council.” you answered while eyeing heeseung whose leaning on his car, near you. his hand rests at the open door for you.
“that’s great! he also told me that he’ll take you home later after it so i don’t have to worry.” she added.
eventually, she bids goodbye and so you did. your stares stayed at his phone before you handed it back to heeseung. he tilts his head again, asking you to enter his vehicle. without having any choice, you obliged.
you realized that no matter how hard you try to escape, there’s no getting away from them. they have control on everything and that’s what scares you the most. how smoothly they do these things and manipulate you on doing whatever that they all want. just like what (name) said. you’re like their toy.
“seatbelt, angel.” heeseung snaps you out of your own thoughts.
you nodded and grabbed over the safety strap on your side. your eyes caught sunghoon getting on his big motorbike and attractively putting his helment on for safety. you blushed unconsciously seeing your bag hangs on his broad shoulders and placed in front of him.
it looked totally out of place on how his all black motorbike and dark blue uniform mixed with your light colored school bag. it looked so feminine that you can already tell it doesn’t belong to the fine man.
his head cranes over to your side and even if heeseung’s car is heavily tinted and if sunghoon’s wearing a helmet, it seems like he’s looking directly to your eyes.
he started the engine of his bike and then a loud roaring sound errupts from it. he then bolted out from the parking lot of the school. both you and heeseung follows his bike driving away.
“such a show off.” he utters under his breath and then moves after jake drove his car out the parking.
the drive was as expected, slightly long. heeseung is quiet, only the faint song playing from the radio is what plays on the background. it was a little awkward, if you’ll be honest.
“are you cold?” you jolt a little when heeseung suddenly ask that question. he glanced at you briefly and you answered with a low ‘no’. he nods and then continued driving.
eventually, the vehicle slows down as it reaches near this huge elegant gate. your mouth gaps in amusement, eyes catching his friend’s vehicle entering as well. sunghoon’s big bike storms inside and even throw a middle finger at jake’s car.
“stay for a bit, angel. i’ll open your—” your heads whips over to the side when heeseung’s car bursts open.
jake leans downward to meet your eyes, hands rests in front, offering to help you.
“let’s go, sweetheart.” he smiles. you didn’t really have much of a choice as he reaches for your hand and guided you outside the car.
heeseung went out too and you saw jay getting off his vehicle as well. a small smirk playing over his sexy lips.
“what’s happening to the three of you, really?” he scoffs and rolls his eyes.
you glanced at the three as well, a confused look plastered all over your face. you did notice how they’re being weird from the parking lot incident.
“its because of jake. he’s so childish.” sunghoon commented right after walking near your place.
jake frowns, “no, i’m not!” he hardly objects.
heeseung rolls his eyes, “stop sulking, jake sim.” he then started walking towards the grand entrance of the big mansion right in front of you.
because of their small arguments, you failed to even notice it. now that you had the chance to admire it, you can tell that it reaks off money. some side comments and other complaints can be heard from jake but your focus was at the big house.
soon, a hand placed gently on the lower of your back.
“let’s go inside, baby.” jay says lowly and started to guide you towards the house.
you gulped, but followed him. its not like you have other options. besides you’re here to do the project... right?
when you made it inside, there are a lot of helpers assisting and attending to heeseung.
“welcome back, sir jay.” one greets when she noticed the guy beside you. looks like he’s often here that the maids are familiar of him.
oh, silly you. they all grew up together. it just made sense that they’re often at each other’s house.
“this is miss y/n.” he introduces you that caught you off-guard. she shifted her eyes to you and smiled warmly before offering a bow.
you panicked then bows back. “h-hi!”
“are you sir jay’s girlfriend?” she curiously asked right after.
“u-uhh—”
“what are you two doing? let’s go to my room.” heeseung interrupts with a stern voice.
jay smiles at the maid before guiding you towards the second floor. you just gave a small smile to the lady and just let yourself go to wherever jay asks you to.
heeseung and jay then started talking about a left work on the student council’s office. it was none of your concern so you try to busy yourself with the things you can see around the house. the interior of the whole place was just amazing. you can tell they spent a lot for their home.
you stopped walking once jay and heeseung did and you saw a door in front of heeseung. he glanced at you before opening it.
your steps halted when you’re about to go inside. something inside you just grow worried. you have no idea why, but your heart kept on beating so fast.
they noticed your sudden hesitation so both of them glanced over their shoulders, looking at you.
“what’s wrong?” jay asks while heeseung remains silent.
you gulped and took a short glance around heeseung’s spacious room. “n-nothing.”
you took a long breath, “c-can’t we just do it at your living room?” you pull up a smile in order to not raise any suspicion. the last thing you want is for them to think that you’re taking this in a wrong way.
“what’s wrong with doing it inside my room?” heeseung asks nonchalantly.
you took a step back, “u-uhm,—” you gasps when your back suddenly collided with a broad chest.
“going somewhere, doll?” sunghoon stares down at you while he stood gloriously behind you.
jake scoffs and then wrapped his arms around your shoulder, pulling up a mischievous grin.
“let’s go inside, okay? we’re going to have so much fun!” he cheers with a big smile, but you can feel your stomach churns and heart beating so fast.
sunghoon steps forward pushing you inside the room. heeseung sat down his gaming chair and rotates it so he’s facing his king sized bed. jay took off his coat and hangs it neatly by the sofa. jake’s smirking while watching you closely.
you feel timid being around and watched by them, so you looked everywhere except their eyes. the silence stretched for a couple of minutes before heeseung breaks it.
“strip, angel.” he starts then rests his back completely at the chair.
your feet glued at the floor and breathing got rigif while facing your back at them. their heated gaze pierced and almost burned a hole behind your head. you can feel it.
“strip for us.” he says in a very demanding tone.
slowly, you faced them with a slight fear flickering through your eyes.
“h-huh? but we’re suppose to d-do our project—”
“oh fuck that project, sweetheart! we’re going to do you instead.” jake interrupts smirking after licking his plump lips once. his eyes stares at you like a hungry predator.
“calm down, jake. you’re going to scare her.” jay says, mischief lazing through his voice while smirking sexily beside sunghoon.
they’re both sat at the sofa. the man beside him has his polo unbuttoned all the way, leaning forward as his elbow rests over his knees and eyes burning at you. he’s quiet and red lips hardly pursed. his dark, thick eyebrows narrowed together.
you remained standing awkwardly at the middle of heeseung’s bedroom, the door a few feet away from you. it slid inside your mind. to try and run away from them. but its impossible. with their built, they can easily catch you and who knows what that can do to you? they never go easy whenever they’re pissed off.
besides, sunghoon’s sat on the path towards it. he can easily grab and stop you from escaping. that’s totally crossed out of your plans.
you heaved a sigh, “g-guys,”
“did we ask you to talk?” heeseung.
instantly, your lips are pursed hardly. despite him showing a little soft side of him from a while ago, you’re still terrified whenever he’s very serious.
“we’re waiting, baby.” jay caught your attention.
you stared at them for a while and realized that you have nowhere to go. they got you cornered and stripped off of choices. once again, you’re helpless around these four men.
you balled your fists and jake’s eyes dropped from your pretty face to your hands. they’re trembling and he’s certain its a mixture of fear and worry. his grin grew wider. his nerves are shaking in excitement. he couldn’t wait to have you, to devour you, to ruin you.
“go on, y/n.” heeseung, again with his stern voice.
your eyes darted at sunghoon whose still quiet. his eyes then soften and he sighs, fists relaxing.
“strip for us, doll. its okay, we won’t hurt you.” he says in a calm voice. its still a surprise how he’s acting right now. he’s not the impatient and rough sunghoon. it slightly made you feel at ease.
when your hand slowly raised to untangle your necktie, you heard jake hissed and glared at sunghoon.
“remember what we talked about, hoon!” he said that got you confused.
sunghoon rolls his eyes, “yeah, whatever. i’m just trying to make her feel relax. you’re putting too much pressure on her.”
jake clicked his tongue and glanced back at you. his eyes looked more aggressive, screams more danger.
“why, sweetheart? are we scaring you?” he stepped closer, making you hold your breath.
“am i scaring you?” he repeats his words, his face are inches away from yours that you can feel his hot breath fanning your skin.
“jake,” heeseung calls him.
he ignored him and kept his stares right at your pretty face. despite the lack of answer, the tears on your eyes were enough to tell him that you are indeed scared. it didn’t make him feel pitiful, instead it drives him more crazy.
“strip for me or i’ll rip them off from you myself.” he groans.
you gulped and started to fasten your pace. now unbuttoning your polo— the one heeseung got you.
sunghoon clenched his jaw hardly, fighting so hard to interrupt. his friends talked to him about being the last to touch you tonight as a punishment for him. its actually a shit decision they came up with just because they think he’s starting to be your favorite.
that thought was the only thing that made him agree. he couldn’t help but to feel excited thinking about it.
he stood up that made jay and heeseung glance at his direction.
“don’t get in the way.” jay reminded him.
he threw him a short glance as he fished something from his pocket.
“i’m not going to.” he pulls out a cigarette and a lighter. “i’m going to smoke.” he added then glance at heeseung.
“you won’t mind right?”
heeseung stares for a while before tearing his gaze off of sunghoon. he took that as a yes then lits his cigarette.
“take off everything.” jake commands when you finished getting rid of your polo and school skirt.
“b-but—”
“strip.” he shortly said.
you stared at his eyes and slowly obliged. you don’t even know why you kept complaining when you’ll just end up doing it too.
the moment you finished taking everything off, completely naked in front of them, you feel shy. so shy that you try covering whatever your arms can. the four men stares silently, their eyes grew darker. looked more hungrier.
“lay on the bed for me, sweetheart.” jake mumbles, this time a lot more softer. “i want to eat you.” he added while taking off his necktie.
before jake continues discarding his clothes off, he snakes his hand on your nape to pull you closer to him. he placed a wet, but gentle kiss on your lips then stares right at your eyes.
“you’re so pretty. do you know that?” he says under his breath that made your heart race. he seems pissed, and honestly his attitude today are off for you. he’s very playful in nature, but the way he’s so aggressive is not like him. you know something’s up with jake sim.
“let me fucking eat you.” he added and then continued what he stopped doing to give you a kiss.
your eyes moved towards heeseung and he just gave you a nod. with slow steps you walked towards the bed and sat on the edge.
jake gently pushed your body so you can lay on it then he opened your thighs for him, giving a full display of your slightly wet core. he growls lightly, salivating by the view.
“damn, this pussy.” he mumbles before giving it a long lick making you purse your lips together.
jake almost went crazy having a taste of your cunt. he always loved it. if he can, he will eat you all day. so he didn’t waste a time to dive in and lap your cunt like a hungry animal. you whimper and legs slowly closing out of pleasure from the way he’s eating you.
a hand then reaches over your knee to open them back. when you open your eyes, you saw jay. he’s already standing at the edge of the bed, beside jake. his white t-shirt is off already and he’s left with just his boxers.
“keep them wide open, baby.” he orders while his other hand palms his cock inside his shorts.
you can’t even say a word or resist as your mind gets all fuzzy because of how good jake is making you feel. jake giggles through your cunt making you shut your eyes, brows arching closer to each other.
your face contorts out of pleasure.
jake’s hand rests at your thighs and massages it gently. you can feel a hand carding your hair, brushing it off your pretty face.
your eyes pry open when jake pulls away.
“sorry, angel. we’ll move you a bit so you can suck jay.” heeseung caught your attention. he’s already near the bed too.
when your eyes look at jay, he’s already taking off his boxers as they slightly drag you towards the corner of the bed. jay dives his head and kissed you on your lips while fondling on your exposed tits.
“uhm,” you moaned. he gave it a few more suck then tugs it lightly using his teeth as he pulls away, making you yelp.
“suck my dick, baby. let’s get you busy.” jay mumbles and places his shaft near your face.
jake then continues eating you, making you squirm again. he pushes your thighs wider, doesn’t giving you any chance to close it. he wants to take his time, eating and enjoying how you whimper in pleasure. the way you look pained, but he knew pretty well that he’s making you feel so good.
“how’s the view from there, hoon?” jay shouted, taunting his friend.
your eyes shifted at the sofa while jay enters your mouth. sunghoon’s dark eyes are darted at you while he sexily huffs on his cigarette. its taking everything of him not to get in between. he couldn’t help but feel so aroused by the sight of his own friends using you.
he remained silent and just watch from afar. jay scoffs then narrows his brows when his cock reaches the inside of your mouth. it feels so warm and soft, something that drives him crazy.
“fuck.” he curses and started to thrust on his own liking.
while jake laps your pussy and jay fucks your mouth, heeseung takes off all his clothes. he position himself on your other side then grabs your hand.
“you aren’t forgetting about me now, are you angel?” his taunting voice rings over your head and you mumbled something, causing vibration straight to jay’s throbbing cock.
“oh just like that, baby.” he groans and continues pistoning his hips towards you.
heeseung gave a few strokes to his dick before leaning to give you a kiss on the lips as well. it lasted for a few more seconds until he pulls away so you can give him a hand job.
“oh, yeah. just like that.” heeseung mumbles as he watch you all occupied with them.
he cannot help but to feel very excited at the view. how your eyes are tear stained yet still do as they say. its giving a satisfaction he couldn’t get from anything. he was certain you’re the only one who can give it to him, to them.
jake chuckes and giggles mischievously while tongue buried deep inside your wet hole. his chin wet with your juices and his saliva. it was heaven for him to see you squirm uncontrollably because of pleasure.
“u-ugh!” your mouth hugs jay’s big dick tighter that made him groan in pleasure, your hand too tightens around heeseung’s. it indicates that you are nearing your first release and they all couldn’t wait.
“are you near, baby?” jay asks, whimpering from his own pleasure.
you nodded continuously, slightly losing your mind at the climax you’ve been anticipating.
“i’m near too, baby. let’s cum together.” jay groans and grind even harder, chasing you.
“give it to me, sweetheart.” jake fucks into your cunt using his two fingers, tongue attached on your hole, waiting for that sweet juice he’s been dying for.
heeseung brushes your hairs off from your face, making sure to fist them so it won’t cover your pretty features. he loves staring and watching you whimper in pleasure. beads of sweat forms on your forehead and his eyes travels down your tits boucing slightly due to jake finger fucking you.
he leans and puts your nipple inside his mouth, sucking and twirling his hot tongue on the tip, making you feel dizzy.
“nghhh,” your thighs shakes and tries to move away from jake’s lips but he held you firm, making sure you have nowhere to go. sucking and taking all of your juices.
the sensation making your eyes rolls at the back of your head. jay, too reached his climax and shoot at the depth of your hot mouth, cursing and growling.
“such a good girl.” he says and leans to give you a kiss on your cheeks. “pretty baby.” he added and placed another kiss.
once done harvesting your cum, jake stood up and licks his lips with a grin on his face.
“get on fours. i’ll fuck you doggystyle.” he says and grabs your hand to help you get up from laying down. he knew you’re still in trance from the recent release.
heeseung gently press your palm to catch your attention. he arched his brows while glancing softly at your direction. jay brushes your hair away and wiped off the sweat.
“you good, angel? still with us?” heeseung asks and help you position yourself.
you nod your head once, head still fuzzy. heeseung chuckles, finding you adorable and kisses your shoulder once.
“you’re so hot, sweetheart.” jake and smacks your butt cheeks. you yelp slightly at the impact. it stings a bit but it oddly feels so good.
jake groans and cupped both your butt and leans in to kiss it, biting it.
“calm down, dude.” jay chuckles and swat his arms which he answered with a giggle.
your ears are still ringing from all of that when a hand started to gather your hair. it was sunghoon and he’s looking at you with slight worry in his eyes.
“i’ll just tie your hair, doll.” you nodded and he did his best to put away those lose hairstrands out of your face.
you smiled at him softly and mumbled ‘thank you’, which you doubt he heard. he sighs and leans in to kiss you once on your lips before walking back near jay.
“perfect. suck my dick this time, okay?” heeseung says and positions himself in front of you.
a small nod is what you gave him and he smirks, pinching your cheeks because he find you cute this way. all submissive and sweaty.
“ready? i’m going in.” jake says from behind and heeseung just nods his head.
you moaned the moment you felt jake pushing his dick inside of you, stretching you in the process. his thick veiny cock slowly disappears. just half of it and he’s already going crazy. he missed this feeling. he missed feeling you around him, suffocating and taking all of his length.
“fuck, you’re so tight.” he groans and couldn’t wait anymore as he did a hard thrust, reaching it deep.
your eyes widen at the sudden visitor making your mouth gap as well. heeseung took this chance to enter your mouth and he let out muffled curses because of how hot your lips feels around him. his brows narrowed closer to each other.
“shit.” he curses and take his time rutting his dick over your mouth. he was fighting back not to go too hard as he wants to go slow.
on the other hand, jake’s the opposite. he’s going fast and deep making you see stars. you tried hard to keep on all fours, but you can feel your knees losing its strength, along with your arms.
as jake started to take it faster, making sure he’s hitting every delicious places inside you, heeseung decided to catch pace with him. the room was filled with your moans and the erotic slapping sounds of your bodies colliding each other.
“i’m f-fucking close...” jake hissed and laid his tongue out sexily. heeseung smirks and gets more aggressive on using your mouth to chase his own orgasm.
“me too.” heeseung.
you moaned and tightens your cunt and lips when you felt your own climax approaching. jake’s breath became more heavy at the pleasure your hole is making him feel.
“fuck you feel so good like this, sweetheart.” he groans and slaps your butt then leans down to kiss your back, making sure to suck on the skin to leave a mark. his mark.
“so good for me.” he says, almost out of breath. “so damn good for all of us.”
and a few more deep thrust, jake released his hot cum inside you. heeseung throws his head back, cumming inside your mouth. the three of you are catching your breaths while he both tries to catch your highs. heeseung strokes your cheeks gently.
your knees gaves in and body collided to heeseung’s soft white sheets. jay steps in and made sure you’re all right.
“tired, angel?” heeseung whispered, smiling while looking at your shut eyes and breathing heavily.
jake pulls out, some of his cum dripping out from your hole. he kneels down to see it more clearly and groans at the sight of it. he licks two of his fingers and slides it in your hole, shoving his cum back. it made you jolt and moan, feeling too much.
he chuckles, “you did good for me, sweets.” his eyes a lot more softer than before. he seems to calm down now.
“we’re not done yet.” heeseung mumbles that you responded with a light groan.
he ignored it and laid back at the edge of his bed, feet touching the floor.
“ride me, angel.” he held your arm to guide you over his lap. you needed some help and the other boys were quick to assist you.
“too t-tired..” you manage to say. heeseung placed a chaste kiss at your cheeks.
“its okay, i’ll do the work.” he assures you.
jake smirks meeting eyes with heeseung. he taps jay’s shoulder and tilted his chin towards the two of you.
“let’s do it, jay.” jake says excitedly. “fuck her other hole.” and he trudges towards heeseung’s side drawer.
sunghoon stood up with furrowed brows.
“what the fuck do you mean? we never tried it before.” he steps in. “are you sure she can handle that today?”
jake rolls his eyes and glanced at his friend for a while. he taps his chest and raised the bottle of lube. “yes. i’m sure our girl can handle it.”
“right, sweets?” he asks you.
you are not at the proper state of mind to respond or comprehend what they’re talking about. your mind is too clouded with pleasure and the overstimulation is taking away your capability to understanding anything.
“angel?” heeseung gently calls you.
“hmm?” you hummed.
he chuckles, “jay and i are going to fuck you at the same time. is that okay?”
jokes on them because you can’t even process anything. a nod is all you gave them. sunghoon gulped, a bit nervous but he can’t deny that he’s also looking forward to it. he’s so sure you’ll look so alluring having both your holes filled.
“see? she’s our big girl.” jake smirks and squats down to prep your hole. they don’t really need a lot of the lube as you’re so wet from what jake just did moments ago and because you’re too aroused.
“damn, so tight.” he mumbles after sliding his index finger inside as a test.
jay gulped, totally salivating. he pushes his friend away and positions himself.
“just make sure to take it slow, man.” sunghoon reminded him, now starting to discard his clothes one by one.
“w-what...” you’re slowly going back to your senses, but it was too late.
heeseung slides his cock inside your pussy as jay puts the tip in front of your butt hole. your eyes slightly grow big and worry flashes your pretty face.
“h-huh?” you’re about to look back when jake cups your face. he smiles sweetly and kisses your lips.
“don’t be scared, sweets. we’ll make sure you will feel good, okay?” his gaze too soft and hypnotizing.
its not that you don’t want it. for the past months that you’ve been under these boys, they’ve already corrupted you. behind those innocent looking eyes you flashes them is the dark desire of having them all to yourself.
sunghoon soon came into your view, “it’ll be all right, doll.” he smiles and held your hand.
“here i come, baby.” jay’s low voice ringed from behind you and as he says, he pushes forward.
“ugh,” you groaned, hurting from the fresh stretch.
heeseung starts to slowly fuck from below you, just to ease some of the pain you’re going through.
“i-it hurts...” your eyes starts tearing up.
sunghoon glared at jake. “did you even put enough lube?” he hissed at his friend.
jake caress your cheeks, “i did! its suppose to hurt, sweets. just like the first time when sunghoon took you.” he reminded with a slight bitterness on his tone.
sunghoon ignored his friend comments and focused on comforting you. he leans in and attached his lips on yours, tongue messily dancing with each other.
“fuck, so tight...” jay groaned, eyes shut from the pleasure of being squeezed inside you.
“her cunt is getting more tighter too, jay. keep going.” heeseung’s brows are narrowed from pleasure.
the sting is still there, but it became more tolerable as heeseung dicks you from below and sunghoon making out with you. eventually, they’re sliding in and out smoothly.
“oh m-my gosh..” your eyes rolled at the back of your head from the intense pleasure you are having.
you cannot describe it. the way their big dicks are drilling you are making you crazy, feels like heaven.
“fuck.” jay and heeseung cursed hardly as they fuck you in sync.
jake salivates just by watching you getting used by them. you look beautiful. you look so hot. and you are his. you belong to them.
“i’m getting close, hyung.” jay growls and kept on rutting his cock inside you.
“me too.” heeseung leans and capture your breast to suck it.
“so good for us. such a good girl.” jay mumbles.
sunghoon pulls away to watch. “fuck.”
“you’re so good, sweetheart.” jake whispers beside your face. you smiles and moans, trying to keep your eyes open to look at him.
your free hand reaches over his handsome face and cares it, “k-kiss me, jake.” his eyes darken and without hesitation he gaves in to your request.
a few moments, jay and heeseung came inside your holes together with you. both of your legs shakes and body collapsing on top of heeseung, panting so hard.
heeseung breaths in, taking your sweet scent. he pulls your face closer to make out as he kept sliding his dick inside, fucking his cum back.
your eyes already closed and almost passing out. he kisses your cheeks and smiles.
“just one more, angel. can you do it for us?” he asks gently.
you nodded your head and he smiles, “good girl.”
sunghoon helps you to get off from heeseung so he can replace him. jake made sure you’re stable enough as you straddle his lap. jay squats to clean you as his, heeseung’s and jake’s cum drips all over the place.
“hey,” sunghoon calls softly and cups both of your cheeks. he tries to search for your eyes.
“just one more, doll.”
you nodded your head, “p-please.”
“please what, pretty?”
“please make me feel g-good.” you look drunk on lust because you’re starting to sound demanding.
the boys chuckles, finding you adorable this way. sunghoon smiles, relieved that you seem to be fine. just exhausted.
“definitely, love.” he whispers. “that’s what we’re all here for, doll. to make you feel good.” and he kissed your cheeks.
jake leans in and kisses your shoulderblades. “i’ll fuck you too, sweets. okay?”
you nodded your head and props your head asking for a kiss. he chuckles and gave in, dropping a quick peck on your swollen lips.
“hold on tight on sunghoon, hmm?” heeseung’s back beside you.
you nodded and placed both of your hands on sunghoon’s broad shoulders. jay went inside the bathroom to start running a warm bath for you.
“i’ll enter now.” sunghoon says and slides inside your pussy.
both of you moaned. jake’s eyes darken as he position himself behind you, his aching tip dying to enter your other hole.
“here i come, sweets.” and smoothly slides in as well. the three of you are a moaning mess.
your mind all blank and you’re starting to see stars already. the two of them fucked you rough and fast, not giving any mercy. the way they rutt their dicks are different from how they console you moments ago. they went fast, like they’re chasing something.
“fuck, pussy so good.” sunghoon moans and kisses your shoulders, he opens his mouth then buries his fangs on your skin. oddly, it added to the pleasure.
“oh shit... so good sweetheart.” jake’s brows draws closer to each other as he focuses on the view of his cock sliding inside your butt hole. it was so hot. the hottest thing he’s ever seen.
it went for a few more minutes. your moans and the skin slapping each other echoes through the whole room. it was so good. so damn good that you almost pass out due to too much pleasure and tiredness.
“i’m cumming.” sunghoon was the first one to announce.
“me too, dude!” jake and he reaches over your clit to rub it.
“nnghh,” you moaned, unable to even utter a single word anymore.
“she’s choking me inside. she’s close, jake. fuck faster.” sunghoon hissed and the two of them did it.
a few more seconds and they shoot their hot cums inside. jake’s panting so hard, so is sunghoon. you completely fall over sunghoon’s body, eyes close shut.
“doll?” sunghoon calls out between his heavy breaths.
you didn’t respond so he slightly pulls away to check on you. he saw you’re already pass out so he smiled and kisses your cheeks gently.
“you did good, doll.” he whispers.
jake pulls out and before cleaning himself, he grabbed the towel from jay and cleaned you. he leans over your face to kiss you softly with a warm smile on his face. “you did so well, sweets.”
jay brushes away some hairs that sticked onto your pretty face, “thank you, baby. you did so well.” he whispers.
sunghoon helped putting you over heeseung’s arms and he walks inside the bathroom where the warm bath is waiting for you.
you groaned, “we’ll just clean you before you rest, angel.” he assured and gently placed you at the bathtub.
you can feel your whole body aching, mind still fuzzy after all you did. despite everything, one question plays inside your mind.
‘what are you for them?’
tricky one too. you’re dying to know, but at the same time you’re scared to find out. most of the times they are mean to you, makes you feel like their toy. but after how they acted moments ago, it raised confusion. a slight hope that they indeed care for you as much as you care for them ignites inside you.
you tried shoving that thought off. you’re too tired. maybe you’ll ask them later. for now, you’re going to rest because they surely pushed you to your limit.
heeseung stares at your pretty face then smiles and caress your cheeks, “you did so well for us, angel.” and kisses you once on your lips.
tag-list:
@shawnyle @baekxo07 @parksunghoonsgf @skzenhalove @shanb1n @kaykay11sworld @starfallia @blank-velvet @nctislifue @avaleyshin @kpopslays @jooniesbears-blog
#enhypen#enhypen smut#enhypen hard hours#enhypen hard thoughts#enhypen hyung line#enhypen imagines#enhypen lee heeseung#enhypen heeseung smut#enhypen park jongseong#enhypen jay smut#enhypen jake sim#enhypen jake smut#enhypen park sunghoon#enhypen sunghoon smut#enhypen x reader#slutofpsh
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Do NOT Support Hard Drive On Patreon
You might see friends today suggesting you support Hard Drive on Patreon today. You know, the funny video games version of The Onion? As a journalist, I will firmly tell you DO NOT GIVE THEM A DIME.
The CEO has pushed out all former staff that have built the site up to its current greatness and has been pushing the use of AI. The staff begged to have a Patreon before basically all being pushed out, but the idea was refused until now, when it will only line the pockets of a single person instead of hard working writers.
I know they might have provided laughs before, but Hard Drive is a shell of what it was once. Let it die and support the people who actually made those moments of joy possible. Don't believe me? Check out what former employees are saying below:
Kevin Podas: Okay you know what, I would feel bad saying nothing about this, so here goes:🚨SAVE YOUR MONEY🚨
We passionately advocated for a Patreon at Hard Drive & were aggressively shot down. The talent & people who built the site were pushed out. To see this now is beyond upsetting. For the past few years or so I put a lot of myself into this website. I pitched a ton of jokes, got over 120 articles published, & met a lot of great people. I'm sure if you've been following me for some time you could easily see this.
However, there is a lot of misinformation. I was eventually promoted to Managing Editor of the site & was ecstatic. Grateful for the opportunity. Felt like all of my hard work in the comedy mines was finally paying off. But things took a turn for the worst, & each day there were new surprises that affected our livelihoods. These were all very avoidable surprises, mind you.
A patreon was going to be our hail mary, but alas, for some reason, the power that be did not want it. Causing us to leave a dream job behind. "At least we did all we could," we consoled ourselves afterwards. I put a lot of myself into this project. I pitched all sorts of ideas that could have helped-- we all did. Merch collaborations, Patreon-integrated YouTube content, so much more. And most of them were shot down out of sheer stubbornness and nothing more. To see lie after lie spread, and multiple big publications and YouTubers that I am a fan of promote this Patreon under these pretenses is incredibly upsetting. There are so many receipts.
Please share this and consider pulling out if you've already put money into this. On Hard Drive using AI, also from Kevin Podas: I can't personally confirm that part aside from some of the recent header images for articles on both Hard Drive and Hard Times are being made with AI. As far as writing, it's been mentioned in the past, but I personally do not know. Maybe others do, maybe not. MORE From Kevin Podas suggesting the owner denying a Patreon being set up earlier cost an artist a job that was replaced by AI: We had a social media person who was awesome! He made the images until this AI implementation. He had to leave because ad revenue was low and a Patreon was aggressively refused.
Luca Fisher: at the risk of burning some bridges, i have to back up kevin here. i've only been part-time, in-and-out of hard drive since i got in last year, but i can corroborate that management doubled and tripled down about not hosting a patreon/crowdfunding and that many other suggestions and ideas, including mine (and ones much smarter than mine!), were shot down in really long, apocalyptic threads of everyone left on deck desperately trying to come up with ways to keep the lights on. managerially it has been messy and sad
i've written for multiple publications that have long since died, ones that were in the process of dying, and ones that, in this case, are soon to be put in the ground. it is sad and sucks every time. i don't know what could have been done differently, but i do know that a lot of great writers and content creators were left shorthanded and unhappy by the way things have gone. and it is sort of puzzling to see the sudden championing of patreon after we were all told plenty of times that it couldn't work and we should move on also, just to add my own personal two cents here, i was really disappointed by the shuttering of many different article sections on the site over the past 6-8 months. i understand cutting corners in a deficit, and i know it had to be done. that said…
all in all, i'm really sad to see this all happen. i don't fault anyone, if only because i don't really know enough about how this all can happen to make sense of it. games journalism is in a sad, sorry state, and will likely no longer be a thing in the next decade
VideoSealMan: I'm gonna say this because I think I deserve to. For months, MONTHS on end I was bugging Hard Drive management about a Patreon. Often I got ignored for a week+, but when I actually got a response I was encouraged to - of all things, write up a Google Doc pitching the concept I did it regardless. I wasn't the only one trying to sway management on a Patreon, but so fiercely was I fighting for it that last night, I was accused of making this comment directly by the CEO! With no evidence whatsoever! After I'd been gone for over a month.
I vouched so hard for Patreon because I wanted all the writers and creatives working with Hard Drive including myself to get paid better. When I actually got a response, the idea was often shut down. Eventually due to the state of my company, my pay was cut for a second time I confronted management alongside a couple other important figureheads at the org and told them that if we couldn't do a Patreon - I could no longer financially justify staying there. The answer was still no, so I left. Baffled at the decision, but whatever.
It is unendingly frustrating to know that myself and many other people who put their soul into Hard Drive LEFT because of management's absolute refusal to compromise on a Patreon, to then see them launch one anyway a month later and get over 1000 people pledging money. I'm seeing a lot of things float around about greed and people being fired. No one was fired. Everyone who left, left because they were sick of management's decision-making. And honestly, management is a lot of things but I would not call them greedy. (From my experience.) They did genuinely make an effort to pay people as much as possible. I found the pay very fair for a while. I am not disputing that I was paid what I was owed - yet management frequently feels the need to remind critics of that. Lmao, yes. I was paid what I was owed. No one is disputing payment. You did the bare minimum a business owner should do and paid everyone their due, very well done. I make no allegations of greed, cheating or foul play. I make allegations of poor management and incompetence that has fucked over other people.
Basically the only people left at Hard Drive have been there for about 2 months. They will reap the rewards of this successful Patreon I and so many others passionately fought for for so long. We will not see a dime.
I do not know the new people at Hard Drive, But I feel bad for them. They were haphazardly thrust into Hard Drive's workplace with little to no explanation on how anything works, or given any context on the state of the place. Even now managements feeds them half-truths and misinformation about other people's grievances. I am broke and have been for a while. I had to move out of my flat in Reading and back with my family because of how little money I was making. This has basically doomed my flatmate to moving back in with abusive parents, which is something I feel guilty about every day. If we had gone with the Patreon I worked myself hoarse over back then, this could have been avoided. Some of my other good pals could also not have been fucked over.
It was a bad judgment call, but it's not a crime. It's just management getting it wrong.
So should you give to the Hard Drive Patreon? I don't know! I don't think any of the new people working there to patch up the holes left by the recent mass exodus have any bad intentions. Maybe they deserve it! But it is not the same site you knew a year ago, or even a month ago. Myself and many people who were there far longer than me and did far more for it than I did are all gone now because we could not deal with management's terrible decision-making and dogass communication any longer. That's what you should know, imo
I had an agreement in place with management that I would receive the next 8 months of revenue from the Hard Drive YT channel from my leaving in November. This was a deal I appreciated, and thought was very fair on management's behalf. So far, the deal has been honoured for 2 months. However as of last night I was removed from the Hard Drive Slack without warning, and as an editor for the YouTube channel. This means I no longer have any way of verifying how much I am owed, I just have to take their word for it. I'm sure management will make their own statements full of half-truths and weird language on the many cases being brought against them - I'd take everything they say with a pinch of salt if some of the screenshots I've seen of them talking about me are any indication lol
To management; I do not want to talk to you. I want you to DM me a screenshot of how much I'm owed every month and then send me the money per our agreement until June, then we can go our separate ways. Do that and admit to your mistakes, and maybe you can recover your reputation! That's it from me, lol. If they pull out of the deal and fuck me over I'll have more to say, but most of what I know is other people's stories of incompetence and poor decision-making, lol. I genuinely get no pleasure out of doing this; I do not think management is evil - I just think they're really bad at what they do and it's cost other, more talented people, lol. You should believe the writers imo
One last thing I wanna say btw, management did often stress that no one should try to make Hard Drive a full time thing. They were transparent about that, and that is fair. I was working on it because at a few points, I was lead to believe we actually were doing a Patreon. Many other ppl have similar stories of being strung along by management changing their minds and stop-starting shit every 2 weeks. We all made the fatal mistake of overestimating our manager - who would tell you one thing one day and something totally opposite the next week lol
Hunter R. Thompson:
I'm not your dad, but speaking as a Hard Drive writer, I don't know that funding Hard Drive on Patreon is worth it
The driving talent on the back end—behind the kickass site I joined in 2019—have peaced out over the years as the site's been (in our view) increasingly mismanaged. Mismanagement like, not setting up crowdfunding before the ship sank and all its best crew failed; or publishing a screenshot of Andy Ngo pedojacketing a trans writer, complete with her deadname; or a disgruntled ex-writer getting falsely accused of shit-talk, by actual staff. I'm grateful for the writing I've gotten to produce for HD (and will forever be kicking myself for not writing even more, in the four years I've had to do it!! i'm a dumbass!!!) but it is very much no longer the site I signed up for.
I don't want to resign as a contributor altogether, because I'm open to the idea of the site recovering and bad practices being retired as finances level out-- it would just be dishonest for potential backers to not be Aware Of The Circumstances, I think.
Jeremy Kaplowitz: i truly don't want to start shit, but feel compelled to say: i want to see Hard Drive succeed w/o resorting to throwing former writers & editors, myself included, under the bus. surely there's a way to save the site without building it over the corpses of those who left. my $0.02 i don't blame anyone who wants to sign up for the HD patreon and i support the website, but that includes those who worked on it for years, have complaints, and don't deserve to be treated like bitter assholes like this kind of stuff is just objectively true, meanwhile there's these new writers who joined the site after i left (meaning, in the last ~3 months) claiming people are liars. decide for yourself if you care, but this is what happened! [Quotes this Tweet]
Seth Finkelstein: Writing for Hard Drive has been a privilege the past few years, and it makes me so angry to see people I looked up to get jerked around behind the scenes. The amount of grenades the editors jumped on our behalf is immense, and I don't think the way they're being treated is right.
Other Bits On AI: We do know for sure however that AI art has been used by the site. Its fucking owner confirms it here:https://twitter.com/MattSaincome/status/1743040541603123622. Seems the owner pushed AI written articles as well! TayFabe: My vaguetweet is making the rounds & these made me apoplectic. - owner regularly lobbied using ai. Once he tested it & said ai was writing better satire than 25% of the HT/HD writers. - ai images were used on the site & socials w/o consulting the team or disclosing it publicly I found the ai bit relevant to include bc 1) it illuminates a stark change in HD's current direction & leadership, 2) ai images have previously been used on the site and (since deleted) ig posts, 3) ai content fucking sucks, and repeatedly pushing to use it is a telling quality The "handful of writers who chose to leave" includes 2 editors-in-chief (both cofounders who wrote a combined total of >1,000 articles & defined the voice of HD), & at least 3 other editors. These guys put in WORK since 2017, so cool to be corrected by ppl who joined in Nov 2023 [Link to mentioned vague tweet from post.] More from TayFabe: owner continuously lobbied for using ai in every possible way. No one else wanted to do it, but he kept on, saying ai was writing better satire than 25% of the HT/HD writers. Also, ai images were used on the site & socials without public disclosure or consulting the team.
The owner has responded now multiple times in a private discord... Thank you for people sharing screenshots! First Screenshot:
Kevin's Response: He banned me from the server for speaking out, so no, I didn't see it. And he gave no indication of a timeline, it was just "we'll do one when *I* say so" and gave every inclination he was totally against it. It bred an environment that pushed our hands to have to leave. Screenshot Round Two:
Kevin's Response: "Starting one in 3 months" is an absolute lie. He denied it, I have screenshots and others who can confirm. No timeline was given. Just "this is what it is now" and like, I couldn't live off of that. I wanted to do more but he was allergic to good ideas from others around him.
Matt, owner of Hard Drive, responds publicly on Twitter.
Matt: Kevin, the patreon launch was delayed because I didn't think it would work. Everyone is happy that it did work. Everyone who left the site because we didn't have money to pay for creative content which didn't revenue is welcome to return home. But unclear why the hostility.
Hard Drive paid out literally every dollar it had, then a bunch more, to creative people who worked on the site. When we ran out of money, we couldn't pay anymore. We did our best.
Kevin: Right, and my point of this thread was that it was completely and totally avoidable. This is reasonable to be upset about. How could I have been any more clear?
Matt: If we knew with 100% certainly that the community would have supported us via patreon, we would have done that. We didn't know. We had tried 4 years ago and got no support. We were wrong this time. We did our best to figure it out. We paid all the money we could.
Kevin: So you knew with 100% certainty this time? Or you took a leap of faith?
Matt: It was a last gasp panic effort after ad rates got cut in half on january 1st due to seasonal spending changes. We didn't know it would work. We were embarrassed to ask for support. We wanted to figure it out.
Kevin: Every site has a Patreon. Every YouTuber, comedy group, etc. But you insisted that nobody cared about Hard Drive. Which is wildly untrue. I know you see that now, but again, I think you can see why I and many others are pretty upset. A last ditch panic effort was long overdue. A couple more things from Matt:
It was about the size of the hole we needed plugged budget wise, the time I had left of personal resources, and the past data I had about us trying a patreon (which turned out to be a bad indicator). I didn't think the Patreon would help us fast enough. I made a bad estimation
aka "if we make $1000 more dollars a month via patreon, which would be 10x what we got last time, we will not solve any of our problems. If instead we try to plow down path B, we might make it out in time." That was the thinking. I chose the wrong path, but didn't mean to Kevin also retweeted this comment from the user Matt was responding to: So you're saying that you're bad at running the business, didn't listen to any of your employees until after they were forced to leave their jobs, and now you're going to get more of the money from the Patreon that was their idea in the first place? Matt's Response: Respectfully, I made a mistake delaying the patreon decision. But keeping a comedy site alive for 9 years is not easy, there are lots of potential ideas, and think overall we've done a good and honorable job. Will leave this thread in peace now to allow people their space.
Sorry for linking to Elon's hellsite (derogatory), but sources need links so...
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I've been astonished by how much people seem to love my weird and experimental project held together by duct tape and string, especially since so much of it flies in the face of the way I've been taught publishing is supposed to work. The conventional way authors survive online is to release books for sale as frequently as possible - whereas I've been focusing on giving each project as much time as I can, and releasing them slowly (so far I've done a Dracula-inspired novel.) I’ve been making the sort of transgressive queer writing that mainstream publishing is too nervous to touch right now, and I've been giving it away in my newsletter for free.
I want to keep telling stories for free, forever. Only there's one problem: I'm going to need A Lot more subscribers to my newsletter. I have just under 5000 readers right now - I’m going to need at least double that.
Conventional wisdom also says that Tumblr is a dead end, but I'm convinced that this is one of the last places on the internet that capable of fostering real, counter-cultural queer expression - precisely because we are so often left out and forgotten by the mainstream. Half the reason I'm on this website is because of the culture of absolute resistance to advertising. Unfortunately, that also makes my job here rather hard. If things continue to go well, between Patreon, sales of special editions, and a couple small ads, I think I can just about get away with doing this. But I need your help.
If you're someone who's hungry for good stories and:
❧ You're sick of being sold superficial, safe, and sanitized queer stories that shy away from genuine expressions of socially unacceptable desire
❧ You see sexual freedom as inseparable from queer liberation, and you want to see that explored in metaphor via a vampire seducing a priest
❧ You want to read modern queer fiction that's aware of the deep and rich history of queer culture
❧ You want to help foster a project that would create new avenues for underground and transgressive forms of queer expression
Then you should subscribe to What Manner of Man! It's sexy and boundary-pushing and kinky, with fire in its veins.
If this works, I'll be able to take on bigger and more ambitious projects than I ever have before (it's mad scientists next, and I have some pretty mad ideas!)
Thank you for your time! Reblogs deeply appreciated.
#original post#what manner of man#dracula daily#writers on tumblr#writblr#dark academia#vampires#priest kink
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So.
Re: tumblr bans of transfemmes.
Let's ignore PhotoMatt for a moment. Manbaby tech CEO doubling down on a stupid decision and making himself look like more of an ass doing so is not a new phenomena.
Tumblr has consistently said, in both public statements and leaked internal communication, that they're essentially running a skeleton crew.
They keep saying that they don't have the resources to moderate, manually review posts, have any kind of appeal process, or anything. So, as people have widely received communications about, they seemed to have automated a significant portion of the moderation to operate solely on the quantity of reports (probably with a basic filter, eg quantity of reports regarding a certain post, within a certain timeframe) to automatically ban or shadowban accounts.
And so, they wipe their hands, both to the users, the public, and their own consciousness, and go about their automated operations.
All of this is likely true. Tumblr, at this point, is essentially abandonware internally, a kind of weird vanity project/dumpster ground for server infrastructure for Automattic. Likely, they don't want the bad press of "shutting down" fully. Or maybe the trickle of revenue they get here just barely exceeds operating costs, so why not keep it around?
Whatever is the case, the bans are a result of an automated process working in the background. I'm giving them some benefit of the doubt here, of course, we can't know anything for certain- but it seems like the individual bans are not based on any specific, manual action.
And that doesn't fucking excuse anything.
Because at some point, multiple people sat down at tumblr, and decided how to cut costs.
And they decided that the bare minimum of report abuse prevention was one of the first things on the chopping block.
Before the boops. Before GUI reconfigures.
They decided to cut something that is necessary to manage online communities.
They decided to cut something that ensures any targeted group will have any kind of community online.
And then, after all of that, the only manual intervention is doubling down on the shitty decisions that the automated systems make, and plucking reasons out of their ass for why they were the right decisions all along.
It's pure silicon valley brain. Blame the computer often and always. Use it to shield the active decisions you made when designing the computer that way. Treat it as a fact of life as opposed to something they actively made decisions for.
Is tumblr staff hitting the banhammer on each transfemme one by one? No.
Is tumblr staff deliberately crafting a system that allows TERFs and other conservative bigots to get rid of the "undesirables" for them? Yup. But they sure as hell are trying to not say the quiet part out loud. If they can always point the finger somewhere else, to the advertisers, to the automated systems, to the TERFs, then they can always have juuusssttt enough plausible deniability.
But being the "queerest place on the internet" requires concious acknowledgement that queer people will be targets of harassment, and you will have to protect against that.
Side note, this is why I do try to keep my blog at least somewhat SFW. Its one of the main reasons why I choose not to reblog all of the posts I'm tagged in- if the post is overtly NSFW, I've probably seen it, appreciated it, and consciously decided my level of interaction with it mostly based on how "tumblr friendly" it is. Is that bowing down to them? A little. It's also my choice. I value the community I have here. The pushes that y'all have given me gave me the strength to transition, and honestly gives me a lot of motivation to research HRT biology as much as I can, among many other things.
Yeah, I post pictures that are clearly meant to be found attractive in ways that are generally not socially acceptable , but never actual NSFW. I would like to think that I'm pretty safe from bans, but hey. Who knows. I don't want to lose my follower base, and the community around it.
And yeah, I'm gonna annoyingly remind you of the other places to find me, make sure to check my pin. If you don't know where to go, just find me on reddit and go from there, I'll post about it if anything happens.
#I hope this rant is at least somewhat intelligible#im in lab late night and typing this out as fast as i can in between experiment steps#stay safe out there yall
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#relationship vents again!!#i doubt if anyone keeps up with the vague intermittent personal life updates i leave over the years#but anyone who does i apologise for banging my head against the same wall and never learning#anyway!#tonight im upset because i feel that when my gf apologises to me she doesnt believe what shes saying#its like shes forcing herself to say the words because shes Supposed to#and like resenting it because she doesnt rly believe it#and then being like ok i said the thing im supposed to say this is done now#and then i just feel like shit#but then it's like hard bc there is the potential i am just projecting and also she doesnt like me assuming the worst and that upsets her#when i express these kinds of thoughts#but its also like. maybe if u dont want me to assume that u should communicate otherwise rather than leaving me this black void to exist in#maybe i wouldnt fill it with these feelings about what u may or may not be feeling#if you filled it yourself with reassurance#well anywho enough about that l m a o#i always feel so stupid going thru these feelings with myself#bc i feel like i shouldve fixed it by now#but obv its more complicated as life and love is
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A letter from your Future Self 📜🪽
𝒲𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒹𝑜𝑒𝓈 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒻𝓊𝓉𝓊𝓇𝑒 𝓈𝑒𝓁𝒻 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝑜 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌?
𝑀𝓎 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓅 ~ 𝒫𝓈𝓎𝒸𝒽𝒾𝒸 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 ~ 𝐻𝑒𝒶𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈
Group 1
Okay guys for this group i am sensing your future self wants you to understand the importance of the unseen right now in your life, the unseen powers, the etheric guidance you receive, clairvoyant, intuitive hits. The power of the unseen forces in your life.Your future self is telling you that the apparent dead ends in your current road have an important and necessary purpose, they are meant to be. You have a vision, and its important you become more conscious about it, about your sense of purpose, some of you felt it since very young, and if not, try to know yourself more, to de depth to understand what drives you. All that is happening now, is leading you to your vision, and to your purpose here, and much more you cant yet see, this is the biggest theme here, being led to where you really cant see, all the detours, road ends, side paths... all is subtly and succesfully leading you to where you need to be. Some of you guys have important father issues, you have to acknowledge these issues and start healing them. You have to become your own parent, a nurturing one, and use the masculine energies to hold and support your vision. The masculine energy inside of us is very important, it also help us protect ourselves, defend what is important for us, sutain us and our projects, responsibility, etc. You need nurutirng, again, this is very important for you. The nurturing side of the archetypal father energy. You lack and need a strong healed masculine energy. Nurture, balance and heal the masculine in yourself, it will help you to find a suitable partner with healed masculine energies. you must allow changes to come to your life. you msut trust in the power of syncronity, in order to fruition your goals. For some of you guys, you are really encouraged on just focusing and working on your present time, your gudes are like, winking at you and just giving you the present moment certainty because its the only way you could make things work right now, everything else is blurred so you focus on what youhave to focus till the fog disappears! And a very different and exciting landscape will be in front of your eyes. Work on celebration, celebration of this present moment, gratitude, engage more with the people around you, finx excuses to gather or celebrate a party.
Thank you for reading dear group number 1 🤍 Lots of blessings 🦋see you in next PAC readings 🪽⭐️
𝑀𝓎 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓅 ~ 𝒫𝓈𝓎𝒸𝒽𝒾𝒸 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 ~ 𝐻𝑒𝒶𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈
Group 2
Okay guys, in this group, damn the messages are getting are so deep T.T. Your future self is calling for you to literally melt into oneness, in order to release, find divine acceptance, forgive, and then, let it go, let it fade into the light, let it destroy itself even. This is also a message of, closing the doors of past traumas, finding closure, in order to finally end them, to end the ways they influence your life right now, because they are not benefitting you. I keep hearing ‘’destroy’’. Maybe some of you have to give yourselves the liberating power of saying ‘’not again’’, of getting mad, of feeling the rage that initiates the fire to let all that that needs to be destroyed, burn. Rage initiates change. Sometime it is good and it is called sacred rage for a reason. Maybe some of you have supressed anger for a long time and, specially your true feelings for so long, trying ti behave, trying to react and behave in the proper way. For some of you this is a huge rock, tied to your foot that doesnt let you advance. How could you dance trhoguh life with such thing attached to your foot. It is time you claim your sovereignity, your power, it is time to do so and only you can do it. You are not meant to carry these stuff that holds you, you are meant to decide, choose for your life and embrace all your power, some of you are scared of that. Now for this group you are also encouraged to heal the mother energies, the mother wound, and integrate this aspect, healthily in your subconscious. Mohtering yourself, your inner child, the aspect of the mother energies that is capable of supporting you, holding you, loving you unconditionally while you are transiting this time is the one you need. You need not to feel alone and unsupported by yourself.
Your future self is telling you to call in the Queen archetype, the queen energies, the worthy, the one that knows her value, her deservingess, her power, she is sovereign, she chooses her own life, she knows what she wants, she has no doubts, she doesnt believe in ‘’no’’, i feel some of you in this group, restrict or have restricted yourselves a lot and your future self is telling you noooo dont do that. Embody this powerful archetype and believe all you want you can have and you will have because that is how the Queen believes so, eveyrthing is possible for her. Having a safe space is important but do not constrain yourself, do not put too many limits on yourself, for example you might be a bit shy, and you think it is okay etc, but at some point you will have to grow and for some situations you will have to need not to be so shy, it is just an example, it is not wrong to be shy, but the thing is that, for some of you, your path requires you to grow certain aspects for certain situations that you are not comfortable with.
Thank you for reading dear group number 2 🤍 Lots of blessings 🦋see you in next PAC readings 👑🍰
𝑀𝓎 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓅 ~ 𝒫𝓈𝓎𝒸𝒽𝒾𝒸 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 ~ 𝐻𝑒𝒶𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈
Group 3
Your future self is telling you is to stray from the enrgies of self judgment, be midnful how you use this archetype within you, if its limiting you. You are very wise, you have a lot of discernment, a lot of knowledge of the truth, but you need to stop the internal judge. And i am getting lush mountain vibes, you have to connect with your inner queen energy, again this archetype is coming up in this reading, like in the group two but in this case, this archetype might be less alien to you. You are called to own your sovereignity, self worth and the belief in your power and ability. You are called to do so, and to also find your own personal temple, some of the people on this group have gone trhough insane big internal changes, for you the time is for rest and restoration now. Your future self is telling you that you have worked so hard and that you need this period now. Your future self wants you to engage in more recreational, enjoyful non productive activities, stop working so hard for a while you deserve this rest and restoration. And very importantly, Love. Ahh love is essential, I feel the energies are telling you guys, that you are born warriors, you fight for your causes, it is in your core, however you are being called to, embrace the heart energies, connect to your dreams, connect to love. Not everything has to be a fight… put the warrior energies at rest. You have to understand what youre going trhough, face your shadow, your darkness. And love is a big theme here in the sense of, a positive influence that will come in your lives, you need to work on your relations, add more love into your life, allow love into your life.The big changes you went trhough or are going trhough are revolving your deepest roots. A need to reassess your fights, endeavours, a need to become more serious and awake about what is important to you, and to connect to your heart more and give it more space and presence in your life with healthy, meaninful positive relationships, let yourself love.
Thank you for reading dear group number 3🤍 Lots of blessings 🦋see you in next PAC readings 💘☁️
𝑀𝓎 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓅 ~ 𝒫𝓈𝓎𝒸𝒽𝒾𝒸 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 ~ 𝐻𝑒𝒶𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈
Alla 𓇬 @sirenmoontarot
#pac#pac reading#channeled message#channeled reading#tarot reading#tarotblr#oracle reading#free tarot reading#tarot cards#tarot#free tarot#tarot witch#free tarot readings#pac tarot#tarot blog#cartomancy#tarot pac#tarot community#marseille tarot#tarot pick a card#playing card divination#divination#free readings#free reading#pac readings#paid readings#energy healing#pendulum#pick a card#pick a pile
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CW: extremely dubious consent, assault and p3d0phillia (not romanticised), self-victimisation blaming, sui attempt. Be safe, be kind.
Tim’s parents mainly had a child for the financial gain as well as popularity.
As soon as Tim was born he was a beautiful and cute little thing that made all conversations at Galas and even and meetings start and flow with ease. People always complimented the bright young boy who could speak as well as a three year old after just turning two and had the cutest little walk in his tiny suit.
When he gets older, Tim understands this and knows that his role is to get deals and funding for his parents.
It’s never out right said, but they always treat him kinda and praise him when he scores them a deal of any kind.
So, he masters it. He learns what people prefer the sweet, endearing little boy and who prefers to see an upcoming business man. He figured out when to talk to a wife over a husband, when to not bother trying or when to be upfront with what he wants so he can get it.
It’s when he’s almost ten, wearing a new suit from a new designer his mother had started to prefer, that one of the older men give him a compliment that just sits wrong to Tim.
It takes him a while to figure it out, and when he does research on it and ends up finding a wiki article on how to tell if someone is attracted to you, he assumes that it’s completely normal. He guess the man thought he was cute like everyone else, but then he reads more.
It’s, quite unsurprisingly, a Reddit post about seduction that tips him off to what the man really wanted from him.
Tim, ever the researcher that he is at heart, properly learns everything he can about sex and seduction and tells himself it’s completely fine for him to do this both because it’s for the family business and he won’t actually have sex. He’s a kid, so they won’t really want him, right?
Of course this is the nativity of the child that he is talking and his still solid trust in humanity keeping him from seeing people for what they really are.
Tim meets Dr Hinders at the next Gala, the man who looked at him like a piece of candy, and gives him a charming little smile and casually touches his forearm like the articles suggested. He plays it off as nothing special outwardly, though he makes sure to leave his eyes lingering on the man’s mouth.
He doesn’t remember much of what actually happened, only entering a car and feeling warm caresses turn harsh and painful.
Tim lays in the man’s bed that night and finds that he hates himself more than the man who used him even as Tim started to push back. He blames himself for not being smarter, for not realising that if he could look at Tim that way, he could do far worse.
But then the man says to Tim, “I think I will endorse your parents, Timothy. You are… quite convincing.”
Tim hears the man’s sickening laugh and hates how success stirs in his gut. Dr Hinders in the lead researching of a project his father had been practically begging to be apart of and now he will.
Jack will be so happy with Tim.
As he is dropped off at home, he runs a icey bath and sobs to himself as he enters. His ass burns as much as his shame, his shoulders ach from where his arms were forced back, yet somehow worst of all is his hip. The hand shaped bruise is giant compared to his own, a brand of sorts to remind him that he handed himself over like a whore.
Yet Tim respects whores, because they need to do it to survive more often than not.
The next day his father picks him up and actually hugs him. Its the first time since he was three that it’s happened and Tim can’t even be in pain from the contact to his aches as he hears his father rant about how proud he is of his son, how he did so well and deserves to go out shopping for a camera.
Tim frowns at the mention of Dr Hinders asking if he could continue to have chats with Tim every now and again yet says yes just to make his father proud.
Janet stared at him all the while with a knowing look, one that screams years of painful experience and burden that she seems to recognise in him.
He pointedly ignores it and goes upstairs.
If Tim this is the result, his father’s love, Tim is going to have to keep doing this.
He just… needs to find a way where it won’t be as painful.
By the time Tim becomes Robin, he’s well known in the elite Gotham circle as ‘bunny’. Find him at an event and play your card right and he’ll come home with you and give you a night you’ll never forget, all you have to do is promise to send some money to his parents or pay for a trip for them.
Most of them pay for trips when they realise that Tim can stay for while nights if they’re away.
He’s eleven when he first goes to a man’s house, already crying silently as he prepped himself, and there’s three others waiting.
He doesn’t even try to back out and upon returning home the next day finds himself holding his head under the iced water a little longer than safe.
Tim doesn’t go through with it and instead goes bat watching.
He tells himself that he’s the one consenting, that it’s okay because he’s doing the seducing, and shoves down the voice that tells him that no amount of temptation should allow anyone older than him to give in to violating a child. He lies to himself about how he prefers it when they are rough and cruel so he can feel better shouting hating them, because the kind touches and longing looks he gets from the ones who let him take the lead make him feel like he is in control, like it could actually be okay, and he knows that it’s not.
It took him a while and soon it will be too late, he’ll be eighteen soon, but he does know that it’s fucked up.
He just ignores that because it makes his dad happy, even after he goes into a coma and remarries.
Somehow he managed to keep it hidden from Bruce for almost five years, but as usual, he finds out.
Tim doesn’t tell him, no he’d never be able to do that.
It’s none other than Dr Hinders.
Bruce host a Gala at the end of summer and winter every year, which is both she he stays relevant and so he doesn’t have to do multiple and not have as much time for Batman.
It’s at one of these Galas that he’s talking with a few men and Dr Hinders says, “You’re a lucky man Bruce, to have Tim with you all the time.”
Bruce smiles proudly as the other two men give each other looks, both knowing full well that Bruce Wayne doesn’t like their kind and probably doesn’t know what Hinders is referring to.
“I am indeed. He’s a smart lad, my Tim. Single handedly raised my company from the ground after my ah, relaxed nature.”
The two men laugh heartily and one manages to make an excuse, abandoning his friend who’s about to shit tears as Hinders leans forward and says, “I’d kill to have him all the time. You know I was his first?”
Bruce is a master of poker faces, he has to be with all the masks he owns in both a literal and metaphorical sense. But his expression still falters for a moment, eyes narrowing as a sick feeling build in his gut.
“What ever do you mean?”
The man besides them stares at the ground in pure fear, knowing that Bruce is one of the most powerful men and he’s been included in the many who took from his financial heir.
Hinders grins a sadistic thing and gives Bruce a look to say ‘oh come on’, “Now, Bruce. Someone had to break him in, teach him the ropes. How else would Jack and Janet get any funding if not for whoring out their son?”
Bruce feels the glass in his hand strain from his tight grip.
“I mean, he definitely had a lot of practice by the time I got to him a second time, but an ass like that comes naturally. Hey, was it you who bought him that red lace? Me and the boys at work still have a photo of him in it up in the lunch room-“
Dr Hinders isn’t ready for the punch Bruce lands on his face, square on his nose with a loud crunch.
A few people turn around and soon everyone is, only to be met with an image of Bruce Wayne that or a cult shows the rage boiling off of him and raining the air with a dangerous aura.
The way he growls is enough to shake the room, somehow worse than Batman’s voice, “everybody get the fuck out of my house.”
Some people get their things calmly and leave, but most hurry like the buildings on fire.
Dick and Damian, the only ones attending that night other than Tim, rush up to him and ask what happened but Bruce is too busy staring at his son across the room.
Tim is frozen, hands cupped to his chest and Bruce knows he heard everything just by the tears in his eyes and how he immediately starts repeating ‘I’m sorry’ over and over and over.
Bruce approaches him quickly but waits for Tim to move into his arms. He wraps his boy up and squeezes him tight, “it’s okay, my sweet. You didn’t do anything wrong, I promise. This isn’t your fault. I’m so sorry I didn’t notice.”
Dick is getting frustrated now, wanting to know what happened to his baby brother, yet when he hears Tim’s response his heart is too busy shattering apart.
“It is! I go to them, I let them fuck me so dad can get his deals! It’s my fault! I shouldn’t have done it in the first place but even then I kept going all for a dad who doesn’t love me. I hate it, I hate it so much but it’s what I’m good for!”
Bruce lets out a sob and moves to look at Tim, “No. No, don’t you dare say that. You are so much more, worth so much more than your body. You are my son, you are Red Robin, you are a brother and a grandson and you are so fucking special. I’m so sorry Tim, I’m sorry you feel that way but it’s okay, I’ll help you. Those men will never touch you again, I swear it.”
Tim breaks down and collapses into his father’s arms, sobbing and wailing years of abuse out.
Dick sobs too but manages to get through it enough to remove Damian from the situation even as the young boys eyes are filled with rage and concern for his brother.
It takes a while, mainly for Tim to chose that he will take the pity and blame from the masses if it means the men who hurt him will pay.
He gives a list to Bruce and cries when he sees that Alfred himself is crying.
If some of the men on that list end up dead in prison and Jason seems a proud of himself, that’s no one’s worry.
Damian refuses to leave Tim’s side for a long time, going with him every where when out in public and not giving up his sword even when the mall security insist he has to.
The photo’s taken of Tim, most of which he wasn’t aware of, only manage to circulate for a few hours before Oracle manages to systematically remove each and every single one with the help of a few hackers and Cyborg.
Duke may also leak to a few of his friends that some of the men are trying to bail out of prison and shouldn’t be welcome in Gotham, and if one of those friends is Cass with a wood plank with nails in it, Kate defiantly didn’t see and help her make it.
#batfam#tim drake#bat family#dc comics#batfamily#dc universe#dc#tim drake is red robin#damian wayne#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#barbara gordon#kate kane#cassandra cain#duke thomas#Tim Drake angst#tim drake centric#please don’t force yourself to read#be safe#be kind
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77 quotes to change your perspective
carl jung
"if the path before you is clear, you are probably on someone else's."
"until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate."
"the world will ask who you are, and if you do not know, the world will tell you."
"it all depends on how we look at things and not how they are in themselves."
"there is no coming to consciousness without pain."
joe dispenza
"can you accept the notion that once you change your internal state, you do not need the external world to provide you with a reason to feel joy, gratitude, appreciation, or any other elevated emotion?"
"if you want a new outcome, you will have to break the habit of being yourself and reinvent a new self."
"if you were to start investing your attention and energy into the unknown, your body would then be able to follow your mind into the unknown—a new experience in your future."
"if you cannot get beyond your stresses, your problems, and your pain, you cannot create a new future where those things do not exist."
"if you focus on the known, you get the known. if you focus on the unknown, you create a possibility."
eckhart tolle
"the primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it."
"life is not as serious as the mind makes it out to be."
"you find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life but by realizing who you are at the deepest level."
"pleasure is always derived from something outside you, whereas joy arises from within."
"most of the so-called bad things that happen in people's lives are due to unconsciousness. they are self-created, or rather ego-created."
wayne dyer
"when you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself."
"you are not stuck where you are unless you decide to be."
"begin to see yourself as a soul with a body rather than a body with a soul."
"be miserable. or motivate yourself. whatever has to be done, it is always your choice."
"you are what you choose to be today. not what you have chosen to be before."
louise hay
"every thought we think is creating our future."
"i do not fix problems. i fix my thinking. then problems fix themselves."
"you have been criticizing yourself for years, and it has not worked. try approving of yourself and see what happens."
"there is no written law that says that because you once believed something, you have to continue to believe it forever."
"the more we love ourselves, the less we project our pain onto the world."
jen sincero
"if you are serious about changing your life, you will find a way. if you are not, you will find an excuse."
"your life is your party. you get to choose how you invite people and experiences and things into it."
"you need to go from wanting to change your life to deciding to change your life."
"what you tell yourself on a daily basis is more powerful than you know."
"comparison is the fastest way to take all the fun out of life."
tony robbins
"it is your decisions and not your conditions that determine your destiny."
"you cannot have a plan for your day until you have a plan for your life."
"belief in limits creates limited people."
"the only thing that is keeping you from getting what you want is the story you keep telling yourself."
"if i could uncover what beliefs and values control me, i could literally redesign myself."
marcus aurelius
"the happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts."
"our life is what our thoughts make it."
"the best revenge is not to be like your enemy."
"every living organism is fulfilled when it follows the right path for its own nature."
"today i escaped anxiety. or no, i discarded it because it was within me, in my own perceptions—not outside."
jay shetty
"the more we define ourselves in relation to the people around us, the more lost we are."
"actually, the greatest detachment is being close to everything and not letting it consume and own you."
"it is impossible to build one's own happiness on the unhappiness of others."
"if you are satisfied with who you are, you do not need to prove your worth to anyone else."
"the grass is greener where you water it."
mel robbins
"if you only ever did the things you do not want to do, you would have everything you have ever wanted."
"you are one decision away from a completely different life."
"when it comes to change, goals, and dreams, you have to bet on yourself."
"change your decisions, and you will change your life. and what will change your decisions more than anything? courage."
"if you have the courage to start, you have the courage to succeed."
alan watts
"man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun."
"never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command."
"you are under no obligation to be the same person you were 5 minutes ago."
"a person who thinks all the time has nothing to think about except thoughts. so, he loses touch with reality and lives in a world of illusions."
"hurrying and delaying are alike ways of trying to resist the present."
ram dass
"the quieter you become, the more you can hear."
"your problem is you are too busy holding on to your unworthiness."
"i can do nothing for you but work on myself…you can do nothing for me but work on yourself."
"free yourself from the illusion of good and bad days. labeling time makes us nostalgic for the past and demanding the future. there is only here and now. let it be."
"no matter what someone else does to you, never put anyone out of your heart."
lao tzu
"care about what other people think, and you will always be their prisoner."
"the best fighter is never angry."
"respond intelligently even to unintelligent treatment."
"if you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
"nature never hurries, yet everything is accomplished."
muhammad ali
"if my mind can conceive it, and my heart can believe it—then i can achieve it."
"do not quit. suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion."
"he who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life."
"i have never let anyone talk me into not believing in myself."
"i am the greatest. i said that even before i knew i was."
steve harvey
"you cannot leave what is important to you up to someone else."
"stop wasting time looking at someone else's reality while doing nothing about yours."
"the dream is free, but the hustle is sold separately."
"your dream has to be bigger than your fear."
"you cannot tell big dreams to small-minded people."
albert einstein
"i am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. imagination is more important than knowledge. knowledge is limited. imagination encircles the world."
"anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."
𓍯 entryfromsane004 (extracted from the old blog two years ago)
#spiritual awakening#consciousness#law of assumption#divine feminine#self help#self concept#loa#loablr#affirm and persist#neville goddard#reality shifting#desired reality#bashar#manifestation#manifesting#law of attraction#shifting#glow up#that girl#high value woman#self worth#adulting
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Quackity: But before I start, I want to talk about a very serious topic, and a reminder to everyone who's watching this stream, because I know a lot of you know about my project QSMP, and I want to give a very important reminder to everyone who consumes the QSMP, and everyone who consumes my content and the content of everyone in the QSMP:
I want to start off by saying that QSMP is an international global server which has the objective of uniting creators and cultures globally. We are the very first project to create a global international content-creation space by breaking language barriers. That's literally why I started QSMP, that's why it exists. And I want to make one thing very clear: the negativity that has surrounded certain parts of the community since the very beginning of this project is an aspect that I completely disagree with. Constantly, time and time again, I've called it out and I've made myself very very clear on that. Anyone who watches and consumes my content knows that. Constantly I've even been very, very outspoken over the difficulties I faced with racism and xenophobia in my personal life, growing up, and to this day.
Before starting QSMP, and even to this very single day, I get private, racist and perverse messages daily where I am berated for my culture and for who I am. And for many years, I've taken the stance to give zero importance to the people who do that, because these are people that only want to do harm. Recently, now more than ever, it's clear to me why I do what I do, and it's clear to me why the QSMP exists in the first place. And even if there's one person across the world who this project is helping, then that to me is worth it enough to continue doing what I do.
So I want to make it very clear: What the QSMP project does is it embraces the cultural differences in order to unite people from all across the world in a positive manner. That's its objective and that's why I created it. So if anyone intends to consume QSMP with any scope of negativity, whether it be towards the events, the administration team, the creators, any communities, or any of the cultures, then QSMP is simply not for you. I've met some of my best friends, thanks to the server, so it's very clear to me that this concept works and it's going to continue to work. So anyone who watches QSMP and is not ready to accept any inherent cultural differences that will arise from this project, nor is willing to consume this project in the positive way that it was created in, then this project is not meant for you. And I want to make that incredibly, incredibly clear.
Lastly, I want to remind people of something very important: We are not a small community. We're a massive community. We're a huge international community. It's not small at all. So please remember, and please keep in mind that there are external people outside of this project who don't even consume QSMP, whose only goal is to destabilize and divide the QSMP community. There's people who are maliciously as well, and purposefully, provoking others in the community with harmful remarks. Do not- do not give these people what they want, and do not forget what the project and what the community as a whole stands for, which is respect, tolerance, community, open mindedness and unity. That's why I created the QSMP and that's why it exists. And I have to make that very clear for everyone who follows the project. So, yeah, I wanted to say that before we got the stream started, I wanted to clarify that and remind everyone of that fact. But yeah!
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