#not for shit men like wilbur

[barzfrommarz]

starting a war by saying you can’t call yourself a safe space if you exclude a fandom you don’t personally like

[unofficials4t4n]

I think I have a taste in men

Murderers and assholes 😭😭😭

[yourscarofyesterday]

I wish I didn't buy this book I could have read free on internet

[thespoonisvictory]

sorry but I'm just tired!!! it's voiceoverpete and dream and cmc and manatreed and forever and fucking l for leeeee and all the other men I'm forgetting about or never knew about. It's about women feeling like an afterthought as addons on nearly every server and the women jokes and the girls getting talked over and the gay jokes because there aren't enough women on the server and you can't joke about things like that with them, anyway.

It's about the way women are treated by chat and by the wider twitch community. They are maternal figures or sex objects or poor baby angels who can't do anything wrong. They can be hot or they can be sweethearts but people won't post about them the same way as they do for their male favs. They aren't funny and they're bad at the game and we keep saying to support them, but there really hasn't been one half as popular as any of the big male ccs.

I'm not trying to downplay the singular awfulness of the wilbur situation, or distract from it. but I see people just trying to cut him and/or his friends out and go back to posting and it's like jesus christ, it's not going to fucking end. it's just not. and I'm glad that more people have started coming out and saying shit now, but I'm begging you to look at the writing on the walls.

[sethdomain]

more about the guys and special stats in read more

c!tommy

Member of the Republic of L'manburg, he quickly soared in rank and instantly became Wilbur right hand man and a commander in the ranks.

Wilbur really favored him and this caused a bit resentment growing toward Tommy because the member viewed his rise as 'unfair'

Strenght-> 5 -Average Joe / idk i think he would be normal

Perception-> 9 - Sniper Hawk/ He would be very very aware, because this bitch will literally die if his perception is so as much as lower than he is rn

endurance-> 7 -Tough as nail/ He was carrying Dream shit and run around across the desert

Charisma->6 -cheery salesman/ dude literally copied schlatt

Intellegent-> 4 -Knuckle head/ He is a bit dense sometimes and would made stupid decision without thinking through it(he made this often and still will not learn bruh)

Agility-> 6 -catlike/ I'd say with his built he have to adapt to a more lithe like base moveset

Luck-> 1- 13 pitch-black cats/ ironically, being alive gotta count as 10 luck but no. He literally almost die 24/7 i think dead itself might be a sparing from the current predicament he's being ensnared in contstantly, so dead would be considered a luck in itself /jokes.

C!Wilbur

The leader of L'manburg, an incredibly charismatic guy who managed to band together a set of people that supports his goals.

Strenght-> 4 -Lightweight/ I think wilbur dont do much in term of doing the heavy stuff, he just order people to be doing those

Perception-> 3 -Squinting Newt/ this guy doesn't gaf, he thinks he's invisible because he constantly has bodyguard looming over him and he tends to not be in the danger zone much

Endurance-> 2- Crumbly/Bitch need to run

Charistma-> 10-Cult Leader/ He literally managed to convince people to support L'manburg, which i remind you in this au is a shittier NCR

Intellegent-> 7-Know it all/ I would say he probably knows a little about medicine and weaponsmith, he's also very emotionally intellect

Agility-> 5-under control/ normal

Luck-> 9-21 leaf clover/ this guy is so fucking lucky and yet he doesn't appreciates it

these next session wont be as detailed cuz im yawnin g n tired

C!Dream

Leader of the Dream Legion, A group with the desire to end the suffering of the esempi wasteland.

Strenght-> 7 -Beach bully

Perception-> 7 -Big eyed Tiger

Endurance-> 7 -Tough as nail

Charisma-> 3 -Creepy undertaker

Intellgent-> 6 -Gifted

Agility-> 9-Knife Catcher

Luck-> 10-Two-Headed Coin Flip

C!Fundy

Member of L'manburg Wilbur son, ex-right hand man

S=5

P=6

E=4

C=5

I=9

A=6

L=4

C!Sapnap

One of Dream trusted men, he was a brotherhood Knight but joined Dream once he learn about his whereabout

S=8

P=4

E=8

C=6

I=3

A=3

L=7

C!Niki

Member of L'manburg, was a freesider but joined L'manburg with wilbur persuasion. She works as a medic and gunsmithing

S=5

P=8

E=3

C=7

I=7

A=6

L=7

C!Quackity

Schlatt fucking overworked casino worker he handles all his paperwork and feuds

S=1

P=2

E=4

C=9

I=8

A=7

L=8

C!Schlatt

control the monopoly in the las nevadas district

S=7

P=1

E=7

C=10

I=5

A=3

L=8

[tjodity]

dsmp lesbian analysis post

this was based on a misreading of a different post so now im rating how lesbian dsmp characters are. no real criteria just going off of vibes from a lesbian. based vaguely on how lesbian they are and how much they might identify as lesbian

C!Phil- (4/10)-he has a wife so thats something. he's kinda forgone most identities by this point he just does what he wants

C!Tubbo-(1/10)-im sorry thats just some binary gay transmasc guy. he may have briefly been a lesbian in his early teens so he had an extremely on the spot explanation for schlatt abt dressing masc but he likes men (a lot) so he never really had any attachment to the label

C!Ranboo-(3/10)-they arent really interested in women but he's got a lesbian gender thing goin on. guy with a weird relationship to femininity

C!Dream-(2/10)-she actually is a lesbian but no ones told her that yet and she's probably not gonna figure it out on her own. mamacita was an egg cracking experience

C!George-(0/10)-im sorry i dont see it

C!Niki-(10/10)- trans curious bisexual woman who wears a trench coat and has ratty dyed pink hair and knows how to tie a lot of different kinds of knots and not for boat reasons. she's having a full boar gender and sexuality crisis starting during the election. dyke as a gender identifier probably wouldn't occur to her but she'd like it a lot. she'd also like the old flag with the axe

C!Sam-(2/10)-not really a lesbian at all but if puffy squints hard enough while theyre making out sad style she can act like he's a cute butch

C!Fundy-(3/10)-he doesnt really call himself a lesbian but whenever he has a crush on a woman he in his head says he's being gay for her. accidentally postponed niki's sexuality crisis by transitioning to a guy

C!Punz-(10/10)-look at him. look at him. butch lesbian who kinda acts like a dog for the girl she's obsessed with. religious horror toxic devotion yuri buff lady general tragedy we got it all. also tommyinnit certified look

C!Hbomb-(3/10)-she's mostly straight but a lot of her admiration of other women and learning to do femininity in a way she likes kinda aligns her with lesbians. she believes in their beliefs

C!Sapnap-(??/10)-kinda in a quantum state of lesbianism for me. could go either way honestly. if her fiances want her to be a girl she can be

C!Karl-(9/10)-karl set off everyone's lesbian radar they didn't know they had which was really confusing cause it presented like a gay cis guy for a long while. tubbo just happens to ask her abt gender once on a whim n she's like oh no im a girl thing :3 and everyone else freaks out cause it was just not correcting them. it likes flamboyant masc fashion and being confusing

C!Quackity-(10/10)-watch the quackhalo date stream if you haven't yet i'm begging you. bigender transfem girlguy guygirl who wants to be someone's girlfriend and have a girlfriend or multiple or many. she's running the full gambit of presentation in a bunch of combos

C!Badboyhalo-(5/10)-Quackity brings out the lesbian in her (she's a closeted transfem lady and it makes her very flustered when she realizes q's calling her his girlfriend.) the bigboobies in bigboobyhalo are the result of lots and lots of estrogen

C!Wilbur-(0/10) he doesnt know lesbians are real

C!Puffy-(7/10)-the best way i can describe puffy's gender is that she is earnestly trying to be as confusing contradictory and horny as possible and it's working. she's a lesbian but only when she's a guy or just extremely down bad for some lady and if you called her a dyke she'd moan

C!Slimecicle-(7/10)-lesbian as a gender thing. he doesn't like using typical words to describe his gender but lesbian is the closest to standard it'll go

C!Hannah-(10/10)-she likes women. A LOT. and also worked hard to become one. just a lot about women going on in her life

C!Schlatt-(???/10)-he's got some shit to sort through n maybe that'll be a realization he makes down the road

C!Foolish-(2/10)-if you tried hard enough you could make him one

C!Tina-(10/10)-many of her actions are motivated by the need to kiss a girl with teeth

C!Eret-(8/10)-strong yuriful vibes

C!Tommyinnit-(9/10)-they are fucking ATTACHED to that label you can pry it from their cold dead hands. she also likes boys n is more platoniromantic than anything but. lesbian critter right there it's important to her

C!Aimsey-(-1000/10)-killed your wife idiot

[supernatural-bias]

VALENTINES DAY WITH THE SBI <3

• You hadn't been with the Sleepy Boys for too long, being a guest they had taken in until further notice had that affect after all, so when valentines day rolled around, you hardly noticed at first

• The only thing that clued you in at first was the way Wilbur used it as an excuse to share his plethora of sappy love songs

• Not to say he didn't already do that on the regular—he just had an excuse this particular day

• Chances are he ushers you, Phil, Tommy and Techno onto the living couch while he sits opposite all of you, strumming a tune about a mysterious stranger that had stolen his heart (often times maintaining soft eye contact with you all the while)—only pausing at the end to enthusiastically ask your opinions

• "I think it was shit. Where's all the men and the money and the riches Wil."

• "Tommy, I swear to god mate. One of these days, Wil's gonna smack you upside the head and I'm not gonna do anything about it."

• Tommy has spent every valentines day so far pretending to throw up at every romantic gesture he happens to stumble across according to Phil. Even if it's just a pink heart.

• He had been doing this ever since anyone could remember apparently, so it was to be expected at this point

• Secretly, though, he likes to think about everyone's reactions to him giving them a flower. He'd give you a daisy specificly, probably braiding a few stray ones into a flower crown for your hair like Tubbo had taught him. But he eventually decides that would be too babyish, and resorts back parading around the house while whining about love and how stupid it was

• Unlike Tommy's drastic change in behavior however, the only difference between normal Techno and Techno on valentines day, is that if you asked him enough times, he would read some of his greek mythology books out loud to you

• "Heyyyy Techno. Nice weather were having huh?"

• "S litteraly stormin outside (Y/n)."

• "Uh. Well. Rain, er, am I right?"

• "Jus' get in here so I can read to you already."

• Funnily enough, he always chose romance stories. Or at the very least, the few happy ones that existed in mythology, just for you

• The tale of Eros and Psyche happened to be your favorite. And each time you asked, Techno would turn back to the beginning to read it again, a faint smile on his face at your own

• At one point Wilbur had passed by Technos room, momentarily seeing through the cracked door the sight of you laying your head in Technos lap gently as he read to you

• Later when he brought it up to the pinkette, he had gotten a book thrown at his head and was told to never mention that to Phil

• Phil himself spends most of valentines day looking out the window and up into the sky quietly, petting one of his crows slowly. Like he was waiting for something. Someone.

• But in the meantime, while he waited, Phil was perfectly happy with his wild family and the stranger from the woods they had taken in, heart bursting with love for them all

[firesnap]

Logged in to yell "fuck georgenotfound" to see I had an anon who was calling me a radfem and upset that I was "expecting too much of content creators" and reacting with too much anger to everything that's happened. Flabbergasted someone would have the nerve to send that on the night we once again see exactly what people tried to warn us about weeks ago.

If tonight didn't prove to y'all that these people literally lie to cover their meal tickets and will only give them up to save their own careers I don't know what will.

It's not a Wilbur thing. It's not a Dteam thing. It's a Content Creator thing at this point.

Look at Moonzy who flat out said there are other huge creators out there who and have actively covered up shit and how she'd personally experienced how big cc's will try to silence victims.

Look at Lexie who is still not getting enough attention for her story and how she flat out told you some of those people who are out there being champions for victims right now are still hanging out with her abuser after she told them about what happened to her.

Look at how much Dream threatened and harassed Harry, essentially also scaring George's victim into silence, when Harry let it slip that the guy's crew was a piece of shit.

There are so many women who are standing up and saying this is specifically an issue intertwined with misogyny and people feeling like they need to protect men from their own shitty behaviors.

A rotten apple ruins the barrel and at this point we've seen more than enough rot to convince us that it's true.

[flamedraco]

I want to rant about them. Buckle in, this is a long rant.

I want to just say that I love TNT Duo. Just as a whole. In whatever form they take. These stupid little men and their stupid little rivalries and tension.

I am not a "DSMP" fan in most senses of the term. I never really got into the story all that much (though the lore was cool and more well thought out than most people give it credit for) and there wasn't much to really keep me interested. But these two characters. These two.

shakes them

I love them. I love how Wilbur is emotionally unstable even on his best days and his entire arc of going from a leader that others looked up to slowly devolved into a man driven mad by his own legacy. Writing Arsonist's Waltz made me really take a long look at his character and how I wanted to write him in that fic and it really made me think about how young the character must've been when he died and how tragic that is. I think about him a lot. He's my favorite blorbo to torture for a reason he's the perfect character for tormenting really. And it's so easy to write him with a strained relationship with his family, seeing how Phil did the bare minimum for him and his mother is either a Fridge or The Goddess of Death depending on how you interpret the lore because personally I don't see either as being wrong. Or him being married to a fish (Sally go brrrrr). Or canonically being the one to give birth to Fundy. And the idea that he was usually such a doting father but the second Fundy needed him most he was just gone and the complications that brings to their relationship. I love him and how it's so easy to either make him just a guy or some eldritch FUCK. I can make him BIRD. I can make him FREAKY and INHUMAN and I love to torment him.

And then Quackity. Fuck let me talk about Quackity. This is the BEST EXAMPLE of a FALLEN HERO character I have EVER SEEN in my LIFE. And if you know me you know I am WEAK for Fallen Hero shit.

C'mere shrike bitch we're talking about you now!

(just picture me grabbing him by the back of his stupid little button up and holding him like that, I've scruffed his dumbass)

This FUCKER went from being one of the most goofy, joking, just fucking around and having a good time person, to one of the most well thought out and interesting character arcs in the ENTIRE SMP if you ask me. This man went VILLAIN no matter how you want to slice it and that idea of someone who GENIUNELY tried to see the BEST in others deciding "fuck it, I've had enough of this" is just. The best kind of Fallen Hero to me. I love his entire casino theme. Gambling is one of my favorite aesthetics, and I love how when I came into this fandom despite the overwhelming amount of Duck Q stuff I found I managed to find ONE PERSON who made SHRIKE QUACKITY and it was SO PERFECT FOR HIM! Like there's nothing wrong with Duck Q and I recognize why that's the most common thing in the fandom because obviously the fucker's name is QUACKity and he has his whole thing with ducks but like. Shrike Q tho. The leader of the Butcher Army being a Butcher Bird. One of the most violent songbird species known for brutal kill methods and eating other birds being reflected in the man who ATE THE FUCKING HEART OF HIS EX. Like C'MON. (Yes other birds will eat other birds all the time but I'd like you to point me at another songbird species that has the absolute BALLS to attack something so much bigger than them) ((seen a video of what I think was a loggerhead shrike attacking a duck once)) (((though if you can find more aggressive songbirds like this I would LOVE to see them and learn about them))) ((((FUCK I LOVE BIRDS)))) It's perfect. I don't care. I love him. I love him and his Loggerhead/Northern Tendencies.

I love him for all the ways he didn't START violent and cruel but BECAME that way because he felt like he HAD TO. His arc is SO GOOD. The way he manipulated others he perceived as being "forgotten" like him to try and join him. I just. This man. This man. I'm going to shake him. I'm going to put him in a jar in the /affectionate way.

And then THEM TOGETHER. There is so much APPEAL to this ship in how you can write their dynamic in any way you want. From the more playful early days of the SMP where they were clearly friends and enjoyed each other's company to those stolen tense moments of Pogtopia to the eventual EVERYTHING that was LAS NEVADAS. You can write them on some of the best kind of healing arcs, with the idea that no matter what you did or who you were that you can still find love and forgiveness with the right person. You can have them heal together and learn to love again after so much tragedy. Or you can go down the route of making them ABSOLUTELY tearing each other APART and making each other WORSE. They can be absolute BASTARDS to each other but keep coming back to each other because they are the only two people on the server that have seen SO MUCH of the other person and the paths they went down.

These two characters just. Scream a level of UNDERSTANDING with each other that they wouldn't GET with other CHARACTERS.

And can I talk about how flexible they both are when it comes to AUs? I'm going to talk about them in AUs. They are FASCINATING TO ME in AUs. HEAR ME OUT OKAY!

So as someone who's been in a lot of fandoms there's a keen difference between being into a fandom for the content itself of the world, and being there for a specific character or groups of characters. I was into BNHA because of the lore of the world, not really an attachment to the characters themselves even if I did love them. Persona 5 was driven, again, by a love for the world and also the aesthetic of the game itself (and also a bit of the characters, I'll admit they changed my brain chemistry a little). Danganronpa, in contrast, was something I got into for the driving force of the characters and the murder mystery aspects. Assassination Classroom, obviously more character driven. Fairytail, also more character driven than anything else.

I got into DSMP specifically because of TNT Duo and my friend introducing me to them. But I've discovered something interesting about TNT Duo and why my hyperfixation over them has been lasting for so much longer.

Because they're easier to pry out of their world than other characters are. Which is why I was so surprised when I found so much more Canon Divergence AUs and less AUs in the sense of other universes. Like when I came to this fandom there was: No flower shop AUs, maybe a single coffee shop AU or two, not a single dragon or naga AU, and maybe one Siren AU. And the rest of it was mostly canon divergence! Which felt weird to me because these two feel so adaptive to other AUs you put them in!

While other characters feel, in some regards, tied to their original universe, these two don't feel as heavily weaved into their world. When I try to take them out it doesn't feel like I'm ripping them out and damaging them as I do. I don't feel tearing seams or fabric ripping, they just kinda...pop out. Which let's me take them and throw them into any roles I want, any AUs I want, and what I've noticed is that people do this a LOT with SBI and that they don't feel tied to the universe they originated from either. And I feel like that's in some part due to how the characters have lore from previous SMPs, previous worlds, previous experiences, and even future ones where the characters flow and adapt to fit whatever situation they're put into.

Some people might argue that I'm misrepresenting the characters in my fics or characterize them differently from the original source material, but that's because these are characters heavily formed around their experiences! Which makes them SO COOL for AUs! Because obviously the experiences are going to be different in an AU versus the source material! Making them a superhero or supervillain isn't the same experience as starting a country from the ground up! Making them a prince or king is different from elections and surviving from the land. Or dying and getting revived. Or overcorrecting into becoming a villain so nobody can ever hurt you again. AUs bring different experiences and that's why the characters are so fascinating to put in different AUs. And obviously some characteristics will carry over, but it's up to an author to decide what they carry over from the source material. Usually I carry over Wilbur being related to Phil, Techno, Tommy, Kristin, and sometimes I'll carry over Phil and Kristin's divinity which sometimes makes Wilbur an angel or demigod. Some authors usually carry over his mental instability, I like carrying over his sense of individuality. I like that he's stubborn, good at leading but not always enjoying it, yet always having the qualities for it. For Q? I like to carry over his general gambling aesthetic because I write mostly Las Nevadas Q since that's kinda who I know best out of all of Quackity's characterizations in the DSMP. Which means I write him as a manipulative little shit most of the time, who sometimes has second thoughts but usually pushes through for what he sees as the best outcome. And for their relationship usually what I carry over is this sense of tension or opposition between them. Hero/Villain, Angel/Demon, Human/Fae, Hunter/Vampire. This sense that they are on opposite sides, but not so different from each other when they look deeper than surface levels and titles.

They are such interesting characters. And I love them so much. They give me so much brainrot. So many ideas because they can just. Go anywhere I throw them!

I think I'll write more about them later. How I like to characterize them based on what I know about them from DSMP. Maybe rant more about why I think Q is definitely a shrike and that Magpie Wilbur is the only correct option. I feel like talking about them. I want to talk about them more.

Talk to me about them. I like hearing other people's thoughts about these fuckers.

[lillylvjy]

Hii

Can you please write a Wilbur x reader from the sorry boys zombie apocalypse video? Thank you ❤️

🎥Anon

Hi! Yes ofc I can!

warnings; reader has low iron deficiency, reader feels guilty about it, all of the boys are so sweet, sweet Tom and reader moments, established relationship, kissing, Wilbur “dies”, mention of reader liking older men, it’s all around silly and like the video just with reader!

wc; 9k….. shhhh

edited…. NOPE

who; Wilbur soot x reader, sorry!wilbur x reader

“Thanks Janet, fuck.” Charlie said opening the video after the brief intro, followed by Tommy crying and leaning over the edge of the wall. “It’s all over man, it’s all over! You gotta pull it together!” Charlie grabbed Toms shoulders as Tommy cried out for his mother. 

“He’s kinda pathetic.” You whispered to Wil, huddling close to his warmth as you watched the interaction. 

“He’s always pathetic.” Wil said back, wrapping an arm around you, bringing you into him. “You should’ve taken the coat I offered.” 

You nuzzles into his neck, loving how he was practically a walking heater. “I’m good, I have you.” You heard Wil give a soft chuckle as he kissed your head. 

Letting go of you, ignoring the whine you let out as the warmth left, Wil walked up to Tom and leant down as he looked him in the eye. “It’s worse than you could ever imagined.”

“I should’ve installed optifine?”

“We’re in Portsmouth.” Wil declared to Tom as Tom yelled in agony. 

“Jesus Christ you’re loud!” You told the blonde as he popped up after the bit was done. 

“It’s my specialty! You should know that by now.” Tom said as he smiled at you. You smiled back as you gently hit his arm. 

——

“Hi, my names William Godwinson and here’s my 8-foot vertical leap.” Wil said as he ran up and barely made the jump as he stood up and looked proud of himself. 

“What’s up I’m Charles Dogman and here’s my 9-foot vertical leap. Jackass!” Charlie said to Wil as he ran up to the wall and tripped, failing miserably. “Ow fuck!” 

“You guys are idiots, we’re gonna die-“ the camera cuts off before your sentence was finished, cutting it off as it cut to Wil frantically asked where to go. 

“Oh, I don’t know. Safety!” You sarcastically said to the brunette as you smiled down at you, and lightly shoved you. 

“Are we going down this way?” Charlie asked pointing down to the pit. 

“I mean, it’s either that or the cliff so-“

“Shit, that makes my life easy.” You said as you started to jokingly get up on the wall following the cliff.

“No! No we are not doing that!” Wil picked you up before you could fully get up, anxiety radiating off of him a bit. 

“I’m fine Wil, I promise. I was joking.” You whispered to him as he set you down. 

“I know but still, you could’ve fell. Just be careful please.” Wil cupped your face as he looked down at you, making sure you understood. 

“Always. I’ll be glued to you anyways. I’m terrified.” You said as Wil laughed and followed where the other boys were going, dragging you with. 

“There’s only one way boys. In!”

“I don’t, I don’t want to.” Wil said as he looked down at the pit yet again. “What’s your name? Weirdo? Freak? Idiot? Fucking cunt?” Wil asked Ran as Tom started to laugh, as you scoffed at him. 

“That’s the full name.” 

“Have you met me?” Ranboo said as the drone zoomed out and showed the whole ground. 

“Listen guys! We’re all, we’re all boys right? We’re all boys.” Charlie said, putting his fist up to Tom. 

“I’m no boy. I’m no man. I am sperm.”

Tom said as groans were heard all around you. 

“Guys…” you said quietly. 

“Alright, Cum. Put it in.” 

“Cum. Nice to meet you cum.” Wil gave Tom a fist bump as well. 

“Guys…” you said a bit louder. 

“Everyone! Okay, everyone. Bring it in, let’s cum on three-“ Charlie said as the boys all huddled together as you stayed at the edge looking down at the mass amounts of actors in the pit now. 

“You sure. It might take me longer than that.” 

“One, two, three- CUM!” They all screamed out. 

“GUYS!” You yelled, finally getting their attention after a bit. 

“Oh my god! That’s just straight zombies guys!” Charlie yelled as he jumped up on the wall.

“Yeah no shit!” You sarcastically said as you waited for all of them at the top of the hill. 

“Get down!” 

“What’s that going to do? They can still hear and smell us?” You said as you walked further down the way. 

“Love, where are you going?” Wil came over and stood next to you. 

“Trying to find a way in. If the walking dead served me any good, it’s to sneak into places. Without making too much noise.” You said as Wil shook his head and smiled at you. 

“Well, lead the way darling.” He put his arm out in front of him as you bowed. 

“Thank you, kind sir.” You joked as he wrapped his arms around your waist and hid his face in your neck as Charlie came up to you all. 

“Guys! I’m gonna kite them!” Charlie yelled at all of us as he started making random noise, attracting all of the zombies while the rest of you found a way in. 

“Guys in here!” Ranboo said as you all climb down, Wil helping you, as Charlie continued to distract the “dead” people. 

“This is kind of the part that I haven’t really figured out!” Charlie yelled as he started panic. 

“There’s no time for baseball now, Phil!” 

“If I don’t make it, take my spork! Take my spork!” Charlie yelled as he threw the utensil, getting it no where. “Everyone over here!” Charlie continued to yell and distract. 

“Where’s the spork?” Tom asked as he and Wil went to check what was happening. 

“Go! Go! We need to go inside!” Wil told you all as he grabbed your hand and pulled you with him. 

You all finally made it to this little area that welcomed you with an arched door way and a bunch of random junk. 

“Charles. Did you get your spork? Where’s your spork?” Ranboo asked as he saw him coming down the hallway. 

“I lost my fucking spork, guys.” Charlie said defeated. 

You leant against the wall and closed your eyes as Wil stood in front of you and rubbed your arms and looked at Tom as he put a random ladder in the doorway, doing absolutely nothing. 

“What the fuck is this?” Wil asked, bewildered. 

“There’s no where to go up there!”

“Ok, to be honest, I don’t know your name but what you’re doing right now is pretty fucking dumb and not going to help us in the slightest!” You told Tom, playing into the bit as he laughed and adjusted it. 

“It’ll help slow them down!” Tom said looking at you with wide eyes. 

“…. They may be dead but they aren’t dumb-“ 

“They kind of are-“ 

“Ranboo you’re not helping.” You said as you looked at him with soft eyes as he nodded and turned to talk to Phil. 

“Where are you gonna climb?” Charlie asked, laughing at the stupidity of the situation. 

“I’m a fool!” 

“Are you trying to set up a Looney Tunes trap for the fucking zombies ?” Charlie asked as you searched around for clues, tools, anything to get you out because frankly you were scared and all the survival shows you watched were coming in handy. At least you hoped. 

“I don think we need the spork!” Tom said as you looked at him wide eyed, knowing what was about to go down. 

“Goddamnit! Just imagine your beans! Okay? Imagine your beans! Imagine your a can of beans-“ Charlie started to rant as you tuned all of it out, sitting in the chair that you found, silently giving up on getting out with tweetle dee and tweetle dumb fucking around. 

Wil came around the little corner you hid around and found you sitting in the chair.

“Hey, you alright?” He said as he crouched down, looking up at you as he rested his hands on your knee and lower thigh, rubbing to try and comfort you in anyways he could. 

You smiled down at him as you cupped his face. “I’m ok, promise. Just needed a little break, got overwhelmed with all the yelling and echoing but it’s ok! I’m good!” You said as you rubbed his cheekbones, wanting to give him the same comfort back while silently saying:

‘I’m ok because you’re here.’

He smiled back as he turned his head and kissed your palm. Getting up, he pulled you up with him and hugged you, arms around your neck as he kissed the top of your head. 

“I have an idea..” he whispered to you as he let go of you and picked the chair up. “May I use this?” 

You nodded as he walked out. “We can start a council!” You quickly followed him out as he placed the chair down and sat in it. 

“The rock is our leader.” Tom said, picking up a rock he found and handing it to Wil. “Guys! Wilbur has the talking role. Be very quiet. Wilbur, what do you want to say?” 

“Guys, it’s been hard. The Covid-19 pandemic, and then, whatever the fucks going on now-“ Wil got cut off my a bunch of groans being heard from down the way. 

“Oh fuck-“ you said as you looked wide eyes down the hall. 

“They’re coming.” 

“Oh god!” 

“Tommy! Save the rock!” Wil said as he came up to you and grabbed your hand in his and started to walk down the corridor that led to another hallway. 

All of you scampered down the hall and found a stair case, rushing down it while screaming in fear and panic as the zombie’s groans approached closer. Wilbur gently pushed you in front of him, running close behind you down the hall. 

“Why are there so many halls?!” You yelled out as you ran. 

“Who ducking knows but I can’t do this anymore-“ Wil said, slightly out of breath as you came to a stop. 

“Why’re they fast?!” Charlie screamed.

“These aren’t slow zombies. These aren’t slow zombies!” 

You and Wil found a door, hidden behind a corner. “C’mon! Here.” You said as you popped open the door and stepped in, Wilbur and the rest of them close behind. 

“Shut the door, shut the door!” Tom yelled as he hid in the corner. 

——

“Question for you guys, how do you all feel about spending the rest of our days in this room?” Wil asked all of us as you sat in his lap, slightly lightheaded from running and just wanted to be close to him .

“If I’m with you, I’m good.” You whispered in his ear as he smiled and rubbed your back, softly humming in your ear only loud enough for you to hear.

“Well uh, we’ve got a gun in for day three, so-“ once ranboo mentioned a gun, everyone was all eyes on the object. 

“What the fuck-“ Wil said as he gently got up and placed you back on the seat, squeezing your hand, a silent promise he’d be back. Wil grabbed the gun as he examined it. 

“Yo, wait- does that work?” 

“It doesn’t got a magazine.” Wil said before pointing it at Charlie. 

“Whoa! Whoa!” 

 “No, just give it a- I can take it man. Here I can take it-“ charlie insisted as he went up and set the guns barely to be directly aiming at his mouth. 

“No, I’m doing it, I’m doing it. I promise you-“ 

You rested your head on the back of chair as you watched the men go back and forth, playing with a gun. Like children.

——

“Is there any resources in here we can use?” Wil said as he hopped on the chair you were once sitting in, now sitting on the dusty floor watching them all .

“Uh- I see about 3 metal, 2 screws, 5 paper, a water right there.” Ranboo started listing everything he saw. 

“I’ve got a bit of a tall order here.” Wil said as he looked down at all of us, standing at a good 8-9 feet with the chair. 

“That’s true cause you’re up, yeah, that’s good.” 

“Does anybody know how to craft?”

Wil asked as Charlie started laughing. 

“I was hoping you’d ask-“ Charlie then turned around and started waving his hand around like he was casting some spell close to the ground. 

“What is he doing?” Tom asked confused as you shook your head and smiled at the man. 

“Camouflage.” Charlie presented the packaged camo tarp they bought earlier for the video. 

Wil and Tom came over to you as they asked you to open the material, since they were struggling to break the plastic. 

“Jesus, this is sad-“ you took the package as you ripped it open and handed it to them. 

“Wanna come over here, y/n? We could use some help over here!” Tom said as he held out his hands to you. You nodded as you placed your hand in his, slowly getting up from your sitting position as Tom smiled at you and walked over to the rest of the group, you close behind. 

“Everyone knows golfers are the weakest of the species.” Wil said as you joined his side as Tom and Ran went over and did their own thing.

“Excuse me?” 

“He’s got a point, Phil. Sorry.” You patted his shoulder as Charlie agreed. 

“So what I’m thinking what we do. The creatures, they- they respond to sound, but they can’t see you. He’s invisible.” Wil said to Charlie as he held Phil’s head. 

“Who’s invisible?” 

“Tiger Wattson.” Wilbur said, as you clapped your hands and pointed at them all. 

“So that’s his name! Nice to know-“ you joked as Wil laughed and Phil shook his head. 

Wilbur finished laughing as he looked at Phil again. “Tiger listen. If you go out there, they won’t be able to see you-“ 

“But they can smell you.” 

“Wha-“ Phil said as Wilbur chef kissed.

“They can hear you.” Wilbur said as a honk noise appeared out of no where. 

“That doesn’t make me feel better about the smelling me thing-“ 

“Don’t worry, you’re fine! Go get ‘em!” You said as you pushed him towards the door. 

“Tiger! Come here.” Wil beckoned Phil over as everyone wondered where he went. “I may not get to say this again to you before I throw you to your almost certain demise.” 

“Not helping-“ you told him as he continued. 

“But I’m gonna say it now, go get ‘em Tiger.” Wilbur said as he pushed Phil out the door and closed it. “And now we can share the fort between 4 people instead of 5.” Wil said as he stood in front of everyone, please and cheers came his way. 

“Very inspiring. I could tell you meant it too!” You said as you patted Wil’s chest.

“Thank you, I felt like it was needed-“ 

“Hey I just noticed when I- yeah, so when we high-fived, I just noticed, I feel like I saw just super quick, just like a little-“ 

You saw it as well, grabbing his wrist gently and bring it down to examine it. You knew it was there the whole time, have putting it there earlier before filming, but still going with the bit.

“Oh no.” 

“Wil-“ your force came out hushed and fear laced the word. Wilbur looked down at you concerned but quickly realized that it was for the big and relaxed. 

“It’s a- it’s a little tiny tiny scratch.” Wil said as he hid his arm from staring eyes. You quickly brought his arm back down  and giving the “wound” a kiss and smiling up at him. 

“Better?” You asked as he rested his forehead on yours.

“100%.” Wil whispered to you as he brought his lips to yours in a short thankful kiss as Phil opened the door on the opposite side of the room. 

“Guys I did it! Come on, come on!” Phil whispered to all of us and we all ran out the room. 

“Go! go! Not that way! Wait- yes that way!” Wil yelled, as we all followed and yelled at him for being indecisive at the moment. 

Running a little bit farther, Wil found a door, guiding us all to go through, Charlie going through a little weird hole in the wall. 

After getting him through the wall, Wilbur crouched down and held his arm, looking down at the mark on his skin in worry, making sure no one was watching. Yet forgetting you were behind him. 

“Wil what happened?” You whispered down to him, knowing the cameras were on and wanted to create a bit of a story. 

“I- Nothing I’m fine. Don’t worry about me, what we need to worry about is getting out of here.” Wil said, grabbing your hands and bringing them up to your mouth to give your knuckles a kiss. “You need to get out of here and I’ll make sure you do.” 

You softly smiled up at him as Elodie made a gagging noise as you two stared at each other. 

“Didn’t need to see that.” They said as they turned the camera off briefly and looked at you with an uneasy look .

“Oh c’mon on! It was good, right?” Wil asked out in the open as you swung your hands in his and nodded as Elodie rolled their eyes and nodded as well, silently admitting that the “sickeningly sweet” scene was really cute. 

——

“And now, the end is near-“ 

“And so I face, the final curtain-“ 

“Guys I was wrong, it’s no time for Sinatra.” Wil admitted as he slowly got up from his sitting position as you and Ran came into the cameras view. 

“Those guys know how to sing.” Ranboo told the camera as you nodded. 

“Almost as good as me-“

“I was about to say that!” Ranboo added on as he looked down at you and nodded.

“Guys, I have a fucking idea. Tiger-“ 

“Yeah.”

“Do you carry some of your patented Tiger’s scent cologne?” Wil asked as Phil confirmed he in fact did as you looked at all of them with furrowed eyebrows. 

“If we can make one of the zombies smell like a professional golfing star…” Wil left the sentence open as Phil clicked the idea together. “Whip out the spray.” 

“Why did that sound-“ you started but quickly shit your mouth before anything else came out, Tommy overhearing the little joke you were going to make and laughing. 

Phil pretended to look for it as he then suddenly found it and went to the opening of the room. “This is Tiger’s essence.” 

“Go Phil! Spray!” Tom yelled as Phil started to get attacked by the crawling zombies. Phil made a hissing noise as he moved his hand everywhere, trying to get the “cologne” everywhere he could. 

As he sprayed, all of you figured out a way to get out of them room, having realized you were cornered. You all ran out the room, running as fast as you could up stairs and down some halls to an empty open room. 

“Wait where’s Wil?” You asked as you finally got out of the rush of adrenaline and realized Wil’s hand wasn’t in yours nor was he infront or behind you. 

“Wil?!” Tom yelled as he soon realized too.

Everyone yelled your boyfriends name, worried as to where he was, but decided to continue on if they didn’t want to be eaten. Yet you and Tom both were deciding if pausing and looking for Wil was a good idea. 

“He’s fine, he’s probably following the actors. Plus Elodie’s with him so!” David told you as ease ran through your body, thankful that at least someone was with him. 

“Guys wait! Come back, come back. This is the perfect, circuit! This is it! This is the dark circuit!” Charlie declared as he looked at all of us, yet none of us were buying it. 

“I think this is just a circle-“ 

��Please don’t make me run anymore-“ you whispered out next to Phil as he patted you on the back and gave you a soft smile which you returned. 

“All we have to do, is run around continuously-“ 

“And we’ll go so fast that they explode!” 

“That’s right Tom! Alright! Is everyone ready?”

“I’ll sit out-“ you said as you leant against the wall.

“Here if you sit there in the little cave, I’ll protect you with my club.” Phil offered as you slowly moved to sit in the corner. 

“Thank you Phil.” You smiled appreciatively up at him as Charlie stated that he was absolutely delusional. Once the zombies appeared, they all started running. 

“We’re going to die.” You declared as you rubbed your head. Maybe this wasn’t the best video for your to do. 

“Yup! Are you alright?” Phil agreed as he continued to fight or the zombies. 

“Yeah, I forgot my medicine this morning and I forgot water so. Yay!” You put your fist in the air as a celebration while Phil laughed. 

“We can ask for some water? We can stop real quick.” 

“No it’s ok. I’ll be ok.” You said, more for yourself than anyone else. Phil nodded as the rest of them arrived back and and ran down one of the halls. 

“Guys come on! This way- you alright Y/n?” Ranboo asked as he saw your state. 

“Yeah can I have help up?” You asked as Ran nodded and lifted you up. 

“Want a piggy back ride?” 

“Ranboo you don’t have too-“ 

“Come on! I know you aren’t doing good right now, so please.” Ranboo insisted as he bent down.

“Thank you, I’m sorry.” You said as you hopped on his back and held onto him. 

“Hey no need for apologies, it’s my pleasure!” 

Ranboo jogged until he caught up with the rest of them who were waiting, you giving all of them an apologetic smile as they all gave you an understanding look and small ‘it’s ok, we know’ smile back.

“Guys you go on! This’ll stop them!” Charlie said as you looked behind you and saw him doing the stanky leg, shaking your head and laughing at him. “It’s not working! Oh god!” 

Charlie started to scream for all of us to run and go. You all found a little staircase leading up as Tom and Charlie found tables and object to put in front of it. Ranboo put you down as you went up the stairs, everyone following close behind. 

“Thank you, and I’m sorry again.” You told all of them in general as you slid down the wall, needing some sort of support. 

“Hey, it’s ok. We’ll get you some water soon, promise. You have nothing to apologize for.” All of them agreed with Phil as you smiled up at them and curled up, wanting the pounding in your head to stop, but kept with the video anyways.

“I unlocked a new recipe.” Charlie said as he paced. 

“What do you need, Charlie?” 

“I need wood and I need stone” Charlie declared as ranboo gave him a gun. 

“Here! Here’s a rock!” You said as you lifted the big rock you found next to you and gave it to the man. 

“Oh, thank you!” Charlie said as he nodded down at you in thanks as you saluted back. 

You all heard yelling coming up the stairs as Wil’s silhouette comes into view as he yells and runs into Tom. 

“It’s me! It’s me!” Wil yelled at Tom as he pushed him back and held his fist up. 

“Tom I still need your wood!” Charlie demanded as you shook your head. 

“What the hell is going on?!” You whined out as the stupid situation made no sense. Wil fell to the ground, covering his face as he came too.

“He’s alive! He’s not- wait! Did you get bit?”

“No.” Wil said as he got up and looked around, finally spotting you on the ground, quickly going over to you and crouching down and cupping your cheek, making your eyes flutter open. “Darling…” 

“I’m ok, I just need water.” You confirmed before he could say anything. 

“Hey guys, can we stop real quick and get some water?” Wil asked the group as they all nodded and agreed that they probably needed some water too. 

Charlie walkied down to the rest of the crew, asking if they could get some water, which would be given and brought shortly. 

“I’m sorry.” You whispered out to Wil as he held you to his chest. “I shouldn’t have come.” 

“Hey, love. You’re ok, you didn’t know it’d get this bad and we didn’t think we’d do this much running. Which now I’m thinking about it, that’s pretty stupid of us. Besides that,” Wil was cut off by your laughter. “Don’t give yourself a hard time over this. You and the rest of us come before content. Always. And if we have to stop for a little water break, that’s very much needed, so be it.” Wil finished as you smiled against his neck and nodded. 

“Thank you.” You whispered to him as Russ came with an arm full of water bottles, handing you one first. Wil responded to your thanks with a kiss on your head as he squeezed your hand three times. 

Cheesy bastard. 

——

“It’s almost done. It’s almost done!” Charlie declared as he waved his hand around infront of Tommy as he screamed in pain and agony. All of you were watching in pure confusion and terror as the scene played out.

“I crafted your dick into a gun.” 

“Oh fuck this.” You said as you looked at the pair in disgust. As much as you loved both of them, some bits were just- weird. Weirder than weird. 

“Wilbur look at me.” 

“What’s up man?” Wil asked as he stepped forward towards Tom. 

“You’re the only man it trust with my dick-gun…..” Tom said as he gave the gun to Wil. 

“Well yeah, I served in the arm forces for 32 years.” Wil said as he took the gun in his hands, leaving you bewildered at the statement. 

“Wait, hold up-“ you said as you did mental math in your head. 

“Wait how old are you?” Charlie asked the question that you were desperately trying to figure out. 

“I’m 41.” 

“I- ok when I said I liked older men, that’s not what I meant.” You joked as everyone laughed around you. 

“Wait, I gotta make sure the gun is any good, cause I did just craft it. It’s like a make shift so it doesn’t- it’s not like, the stats aren’t super high so just make sure that it- yeah. No just- I can take it. I can take it.” Charlie said, again wanting Wil to shoot him and make sure the equipment worked as he aimed it at the man. 

“Oh, it’s jammed. Hold on.” Wil said as he fixed the gun and pointed it again. 

“Maybe we shouldn’t- ok.” You cut off your sentence as Wil pointed it again and it was yet again jammed. 

“Do you have friendly fire?” Charlie said as Wil shot the ceiling as the gun went off. 

“Oh there we go- oh it’s fucking jammed again!”

“Ok! That’s it! Give me the gun!” You held your hand out to Wil as he held it away from you. 

“Not my dick-gun!” 

“Wil give me the fucking gun!” 

“No frankly I don’t think you should have it since Tommy only trusted me-“ 

 “Yeah well! If you have the gun you’re gonna shoot someone’s eye out so give me the fucking gun.” You said one last time, getting close to his face as his eyes widened and mouth quivered. 

“Ok.” He whispered to you as he handed you the gun. 

“Thank you-“ 

“Can I see it?!” Charlie said as as he tried to grab the gun from you. 

“Wait, no Charlie-“ 

“Is that a light?!”

“Charlie watch out!” Wil said as he grabbed the gun and Charlie pulled the trigger, making air pop out of the object and all of you popping back from it. 

“Ah! I’m blind in one ear! I mean deaf!” 

——

We all followed Wil as he lead us back to the beginning where we started. 

“This was pure goofy Looney Tunes trap!” 

“That didn’t do us any good-“ you whispered under your breath. 

“It was a beautiful creation!” Charlie said to you as you shook your head and patted his back. 

“Sure thing bud. Think that.” You said as you followed behind Phil as Wil led the way. 

“Oh man-“ Charlie said as you all heard groaning behind you.

“Hang on guys, I got this!” Wil said as he pointed his gun at the shadows as the groaning got closer to reveal Ranboo in all his might. 

“Jesus christ-“ 

“That was a good one!” Charlie said as Phil clutched his chest and told Ran that he was seconds away from being dead. 

“It was a funny little prank man! Don’t be so uptight! Grandpa.” Ranboo said as you bursted out laughing and fist bumped them. 

“This is where it began! Sporky!” Charlie yelled as he ran to his spork. 

Coming up behind Wil, you wrapped your arms around his waist as he flinched and turned to see who was holding onto him, relaxing once he saw you. 

“Well hello!” He said with a smile as he wrapped his arm around your neck, pulling you closer. 

“ hello!” You smiled back, nuzzling back into his warmth. You all followed Charlie to where the utensil lie, circling him. 

“I thought I lost you forever! Every utensil, all in one. Together again. Let’s have some fun.” Charlie said as he lifted the object to his lips and kissed it. 

“Did he-“ 

“Did he just kiss it?” Ranboo said, curious of the same thing. 

“He kissed it.” Wil confirmed as he went up to Ranboo. “Look, motherfucker. If you had a part spoon, part fork, part knife, you’d be kissing it too.” Wil said as Charlie moved the spork in the air, silently worshipping it. 

“I’d be more than kissing it, imma be real.” Ranboo confessed. 

“Why don’t you just, eat with it? That’s what it’s for.” You said as they all gasped and Charlie looked at you. 

“This, is much more than a thing you use for food. This is a sacred object.”

“Reach nirvana. Reach your element.” Wilbur said as Charlie lifted the spoon up once again. 

“Guys!” Tom said as Wilbur acknowledged his presence. “The zombies are coming!” 

“No guys, I’ll fend them off.” Charlie said as lifted his spork and the rest of you were sprinting up the stairs and onto the upper land. 

“Wait! Get rad.” Tom said as he took Charlie’s glasses off. 

“Wait- oh shit! Where did everything go?!” Charlie said as Tom ran off. Wilbur started to shoot at random as Ranboo collected Charlie and helped him up the steps. 

“There’s some plants there. It’s plants vs zombies! Hey-“ Ranboo said as continues to help Charlie and defend them both. 

“Guys come on, we gotta go!” You yelled as fear settled back into your bones as you looked at the crowd of zombies appearing. 

“Hang on this guy might be a stair guy.” Charlie said as the boys all gathered around to look at the zombie who they assumed was a “stair guy.” 

“Which ones the stair guy?” You asked Wil as he pointed at the one that started climbing one of the steps. 

“Oh that’s two! If he gets to give we’re in trouble!” Wil said as we all backed up. 

You all started to walk to the opposite of the pit away from the stairs as many of them started climbing the steps and roaming then land. 

“I’m gonna need to go for a scoop! This is a very risky scoop!” Charlie said as he made a scooping motion to the lady that was following us. 

You followed Wil as he went to the edge to get rid of some of the zombies, to find the gun jammed yet again. 

“Shit! It’s not um-“ 

“Wil! This can’t happen right now!” 

“I’m trying! I’m out of ammo!” Wil said as he started to skip over to the group leaving you to follow him. 

“Take the spork and then swing it, okay?” Charlie instructed Tom as you all walked away from the herd that was following you. 

“This is so fucked man.” Charlie said as you looked at him and nodded.

“I’ve been saying that the whole time, thank you!” You said as you saw Phil jump from the ledge and trip as he did. “Phil!” Phil swung the club around and hit the girl in the head as he looked back up to us as we all clapped and praised him for his approach. 

Wil helped you down yet again, noticing the big drop of the ledge. After placing you on the ground, he held your hand and walked over to the rest of the group. 

“What’s he doing?” You asked out in the open as Tom lifted his hand and one of the zombies pretended to choke and die. 

“He has the forces apparently!” Ranboo said as he came back over. 

“Of course he does.” You said as you shook your head with a smile. 

“Guys, I have the force!”

“Are you some fucking side kick?! What?” 

“How did you just do that?!” Phil said as you all watched him use it again and again. 

As you all asked him questions you heard running coming from behind you and saw Wil. “We have to go! Tom. Come! Come!” Wil said as he ran into the building again, all of you following close behind. 

As you went deeper and deeper into the  tunnels and building, you noticed Wil getting paler and slower. 

“Wil, man hey! Dude are you alright?” Charlie asked for you.

“Yeah I’m fine. No it’s cool! It’s cool. Don’t worry about it.” Wil said as he leant against the wall and rubbed his face. You looked up at him with concern but his smile that he gave you drew the worry out of your body a bit. 

As you all continued down the tunnels, making left and rights, going through random rooms, Wil started to limp and fall against the wall. Charlie offered him his shoulder as Wil wrapped his arm around his neck. 

“I feel hot. It’s like in my veins!”

“You are hot! You are so hot man.” Charlie said as he continued to carry Wil with him. 

“Are they flirting?” You asked Phil as you looked at the the two men ahead of you. 

“Who knows.” Phil said as you nodded with him as Charlie and Wil went back and forth about thinking sexy. 

“You’re so damp, man!” Charlie said as Wil groaned in pain and apologized. 

“This is like a shitty gay unrequited love short film…” you said out loud as Phil started to laugh and Wil started to run.

“I’m gonna be so fucking ripped- OH!” He yelled as zombies appeared in the doorway. “Okay and- down to the right!” Wil said as he crouched down and ran away, the rest of us following. 

You and Charlie made sure Wil was staying up right as you roamed and looked through the building for something, anything.

At this point you were pretty sure you were lost. 

“The adrenaline is wearing off-“ 

“You don’t look okay , man!” 

“I’m fine!” Wil said in a shaky tone. 

“Now you just sound like a white girl-“ you admitted to Wil as he turned to look at you with a smile. 

“How?!” 

“‘I’m fine! I just have a zombie bite in my arm but it’s ok!’” You said in a high pitch voice as Wil and Charlie bursted out laughing at the imitation. 

“Ok that was fucking good!” Charlie said as he fist bumped you. 

——

“I can try sucking it out of the wound-“ 

“That’s not gross at all…” you whispered out as you searched around the room. 

“It’s ok, it’s not snake venom. The fucking bear trap!” Wil whined as he held his arm.

“I can try to suck the- suck the bears out.” 

All of you paused and looked at Charlie with a confused look. “What?” 

“I think I might be feverish too.” 

Tom brought it to our attention that zombies were coming both ways, which caused a panic to arise in the group. 

“Boys, if we don’t make it out, just know, you’ve been okay!” Wil told us all as I scoffed at his way of being nice. 

The conversation were all cut off by a gun going off from down the hall. 

“Oh shit, someone’s shooting!” 

You all coward away from the noice but your attention was caught on a women that had camo and darker attire on.

“This is an evac! Follow me, this way, right now! Come on, let’s go!” You all stood around confused as the women screamed and was taken down by the zombies. Hiding away from the scene in terror, Wil brought you into his chest and told you that he’d protect you no matter what. 

“Get the gun! Get the gun!” Wil yelled out as the gun was facing our way and so close.

“I really thought she knew what she was doing.” Charlie said as he held his hands behind his head. “I’m just gonna- I’m just gonna take this if no one else is gonna need this.” 

Charlie grabbed the gun as he went towards the gate hoarded by zombies as Wil told him to say something cool as it makes the gun shoot harder. What ever the fuck that meant.

“Uh uh, CUMZINGA?!” Charlie said as he shot it from between his legs, taking down a good bunch of them. Wil quickly opened the gate as you all started to run down the hall, away from any more zombies. 

——

“Put some wood in me, please?” Wil asked as you all went upstairs to see Wil holding a plank of wood.

“Cheating on me already?!” You said jokingly as you clutched your heart in pain as Wil shook his head and carried the wood over to the steps as zombies crept closer. 

“I’ll show you my wood, alright.” Charlie said as he started shooting at the zombies again. You shook your head as the jokes got worse and worse as they went.

Blocking the stairs, you all gathered back into the middle as Wil asked if this reminds any of us of squid games. 

“Um…. no, because I’d much rather die in this scenario.” You said honestly as you joined Ranboo against the wall. 

“This is so dumb-“ 

“That’s what I’m saying. We’re all going to die….” You told Ran as he looked at you with furrowed brows.

“You’re really on about this death thing.” Ranboo confessed to you as you nodded and looked at him. 

“I watch too many shows.” 

“Fair enough!” 

“Ow! My fucking foot!” You heard Charlie yell as you went over to join Tom and him in whatever they were doing. 

“Here Tom, give me the gun.” You said as he placed the weapon in your hand as you pointed it at his other leg “Charlie if you want to make it bearable, you gotta trust me!” You told the man as he looked at you with fearful eyes.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” 

“Making it better!” You told him as you show his knee. 

“Fuck! That didn’t make it better!”

“He’ll be fine.” You waved it off as you handed the gun back to Tom.

——

After Wil and Charlie spent a good 5 minutes listing off random cheeses they could make and worrying about Charlie, Wil said there was an extraction. 

“There’s a way out! There’s hope. There’s hope for us.” Wil said in a soft tone as he looked around at all of us. 

“Isn’t an extraction when you get the oil and you put it in the pan?”

“No-“

“Yes! Extra virgin!” 

“Ok what is your deal with extra virgin olive oil?!” You asked in a genuine tone as you looked at the man. 

“No, isn’t extraction when you have the lufa and you rub it in a clockwise motion on your skin?” 

“No that’s- that’s exfoliation!” Ranboo clarified to Charlie as they bounced back and forth trying to figure out what extraction was. 

“Guys, shut the fuck up for a second!” Phil harshly yelled at the boys as you silently thanked the older man. “There’s an extraction point. Somewhere. Somewhere there’s an extraction point. Someone came down here, with guns, and ammo, and armour. They are prepped. They are ready, they can help us.” Phil said as you hugged him and thanked him for his wise words. 

“So where do we go?” 

“Out. Where she came from.” 

“What do you mean out?!” Wil asked as you placed your head on the wall from all these stupid questions. 

“We have to go back from where she came from!” 

“Phil what does her mom have to do with this?” A long pause rested over the group as Phil took in the words Charlie just spoke. “She came from her mom Phil!” 

“She came from the tunnels!” That was the last thing you heard before you tuned everything out and placed your body weight against Wil, just wanting to be close to him. 

Wil fell against the wall a few seconds later, worry taking over your body. 

“You ok man? You good? You doing okay?” Ranboo asked as Wil lifted a fist bump up to him. “Pound it.” 

“Can you get my glasses?” Wil asked you as you nodded and reached into his pocket that stored way too much shit in them and pulled out the glasses he barely wears. “Thank you darling.” Wil said as he gave you a peck.

—— 

As Wilbur pulled Charlie aside, and the rest of the boys were doing their own thing, Phil teaching Tom and Ranboo the ways of his club, you decided to listen in on Wilbur and Charlie’s conversation. 

“I need to ask something of you man.” 

“Anything for you, man.” Charlie said as you peaked your head around the corner and saw Wil and Charlie sat on the floor as Charlie held him. 

“Tell me where are you from? How’d you end up here? What’s your story?” Wil asked as you truly believed they were about to break out into song yet again that night. 

 “Well, my mother was a humble hot dog maker-“ 

“Oh Jesus Christ, please no…” you whispered as Wilbur cracked a smile, hearing your not so quiet pleads for Charlie to just stop, hating how that part of the story went for that video. 

“She sat there all day and, plugged those pigs into those casings until the sun went down.” Charlie looked directly into the camera, voice brought up to add dramatic effect. 

“That actually sounds- why’d you make it sound so gruesome??” You asked as you walked up to them, quickly sliding down on the other side of Wilbur.

“Gotta add some storyline-“

“Know what, fair. I respect it.” You fist bumped Charlie as they continued the bit, Ran and Toms yelling slowly seeping into the recording. 

“She slipped those boars up and she sausaged them. And then, she sausaged me, and I was born.” Charlie finished as you looked at him with disgust, yet having the best idea ever. 

“So she pooped you out?” You asked as Charlie and Wil both sputtered and laughed, not being able to respond normally to that.

“What the fuck?!” Wil asked as he looked at you.

“Well he said she sausaged him so-“ you said, trying to help them connect the dots you did. 

“Oh god, that got me.” Charlie said as he wiped his eyes, making you and while laugh a bit more. “And ever since I was born, I’ve had a call. A calling, a calling to dog. A calling to keep dogging, no matter what. To always be raw dogging it and- and I was a hot dog for a bit. I was like a hot dog mascot and I was selling my hot dogs all across the land. I thought I had that dog in me. But the problem was, I put that dog in them. And those dogs, I think that’s what started all of this.” Charlie ranted about his hot dog past as Wil nuzzled into your neck and whined and groaned to add effect as to what was happening to him. 

“You think the hot dogs started it?” Wil asked as he leant back up and looked at Charlie. 

“I think the dogs started this.” Charlie said as a dramatic pause took over. 

“I got the dog in me. I got the dog in me, I got the dog in me-“ you started lightly singing as Wil and Charlie slowly started to join in. 

——

“Sorry dogs?” 

“Yeah, sorry dogs. There was a like a little , a little dog, it was like in a little hot dog bun-“ 

“Oh yeah! I remember that! Good dogs, tasted a little funny, but good. Handsome chef as well-“ you said as Wil smiled in your neck briefly and kissed it lightly. 

“Dog, Charlie. Have you ever had a really good spaghetti bolognese with meatballs?” Wil asked as you looked at him with furrowed brows. 

“What the fuck is that?!”

“No?” You and Charlie said at the same time as you both looked at him with confusion. “I only eat hot dogs.” 

“Can I describe, a really good-“ 

“Lay down, lay down.” Charlie quickly placed Wil against the wall as you went back with him, placing your hand in his hair and gently rubbed as he painted slightly and held his arm. “Is this your favorite food?” Charlie asked as Wil nodded and leant against your shoulder. “Here, tell us about it, ok? Tell us about your favorite food.”

“There was- so- there’s a word they use in a little country you may have heard of called Rome.”

“The word spaghetti?”

“Al dente-“ once the word came out of his mouth, you started laughing, thinking the way he said it and the context of the situation made the word better than it was.

“I’m sorry, proceed-“

“Of the tooth. Now what you do is you cook the spaghetti, until it’s just cooked through enough. That’s is Al dente. You mix in some tomatoes, some onions-“ you and Charlie made some comments and noises at the food being mentioned, all of you being hungry and Wil talking about food not making it better.

“Crunch. Crunch.” 

“Yeah! Caramelized is the best.”

“Oh damn…”

“Oh god!” Both you and Charlie made comments of praise at the mention of good food. 

“Throw on some meatballs. Some purée. Mix it all together… you don’t know what i- I’d kill for some hot dogs and ketchup and bolognese. Bolognese spaghetti, hot dogs-“ 

“No hot dogs, just think of the bolognese, ok?” Charlie told Wil as he started to writhe underneath your arm. 

“Hot dogs do sound kinda good tho-“ you whispered under your breathe, the mic picking it up slightly.

“Are you feeling a radiating in your face?”

“No not even close-“

“Just you babe.” You patted his shoulder as he curled up more against you.

“I’m feeling it’s like up through my my nodes.” 

“You’re what?!” You said while laughing.

——

“I want you to close your eyes, and I want you to picture that bolognese, ok?” 

“Or me, but either works!” You whispered in his ear as he leant back and closed his eyes with a hint of a smile forming, taking your hand in his and squeezing. 

“Did you go to the bolognese?”

“I’m there, I’m there.” 

“You’re at the bolognese. Now I want you to take a bite on three, ok?” Charlie said as he brought his hands up to Wilbur’s head, one on his chin and one on the top of his head. 

“Wait, Charlie-“ you tried to intervene but it didn’t work. Wil opened his mouth as Charlie said the words again. “Charlie don’t.” Your voice turned desperate as you made eye contact with him, which he gave you a determined look back. 

“On three, ok. Ok, one… two…”

“Charlie-“ 

Charlie took more than a few seconds to breathe as Wil held his mouth open. You were waiting for something to happen, but it never came until-

“ three!” Charlie turned Wilbur’s neck as he fell against you, head in your chest as you looked down at him in terror and disbelief.

“No. No no no! Charlie what the fuck did you do?! Wil? Wil wake up.. please!” You said, tears making their way into your eye line as the camera died off. 

“Damn that was good!” Charlie said giving you a fist bump as Wil sat up slightly. 

“Thanks! Drama club helped!” You said as you wiped your eyes from any tears. 

Wil looked up at you and cupped your face as he pulled you down, gently bringing you into a soft kiss full of love, happiness and smiles. “Good job, darling. Made me believe I might actually be dead.” He whispered to you as he caressed your cheek. 

“Thank you, my love. But if you were actually dead I would’ve gone full on psycho and probably murder Charlie.” You joked as you looked up at him with a smile as he quickly rubbed the back of his neck and said something about leaving, making Wil laugh more. 

——

After all the boys argued about feeding him to the zombies, overall deciding to even after you yelled at all of them that they’d leave him here to rest as you rubbed his head and held him, still keeping up the distant and revengeful persona. 

As they carried him out of your arms and down the hall to groaning people, you held the gun in your hands Wil had and followed silently, not wanting to be apart of this dreadful experience, seeing your boyfriend get swarmed with half dead people. 

“Fucking cruel.” You whispered to yourself as Wil watched with you, shaking his head. 

“It’s ok, we’ll get out of here, alright?” Phil said as you nodded and left with the rest of them .

Running down halls and tunnels, all trying to find the extraction point, Charlie cried about turning Wil to pasta.

“Should’ve fucking listen to me before turning my boyfriend into mush yeah?!” You yelled at them, still feeling a little upset they decided to feed him to the herd. 

As you guys came across steps, Charlie pointed out a sign that clearly said “way out.” 

“Well if it’s the way out, get going!” You yelled as you hurriedly pushed past and ran up the steps. Coming out the doors to the night sky and crisp air, you all looked around as you laughed and spun around, letting the fresh air and earth take you in its wake. 

“I smell survival that way.” Tom said as he pointed to the right. 

“I smell goo.” 

You shook your head as you all followed Tommy once the zombies started coming back. As you all got to the gate, all of you realized it was locked. Well, most of you. 

“Here, Tom.” You pointed to a little lock that he turned and opened the gate as you all ran, Charlie staying clung to the metal bars, shaking and yelling to let him out. “Charlie here! Come on!” 

“Charlie!” You all yelled out for the man but realized it was too late once the herd reached him and took him in their grasp.

“Charlie’s gone down. So will I- actually no I’m scared, I’m scared.” 

“Pussy.” You said to him as you all stood there waiting for something to happen. 

“Hey! Actually I’m very much a strong-“ 

“Car! Go to the car!” Ranboo yelled as you all started running again. As you all started to slow down and look for the car, Phil decided it was his turn to stay back and help defend us. 

“You have to go-“ 

“Phil, no!” All of you yelled out as Phil started to get attacked by some zombies, you pulling both of them away, already knowing his fate.

“Come on! There’s no time! He already chose!” You yelled as you all ran a bit more you all saw a car sitting there, on and ready to go. 

You all hoped in, sitting across the back seats as you all slumped and rested as you told the driver where to go. 

“We’re safe, I think we’re ok!” Ranboo said as you leant against Tom in relief. All of you being able to breathe for once after hours in end of agony and pain. 

Hearing groaning, both you and Tom’s eyes popped wide as you both looked back to see a sickly looking Wilbur. 

“Tom?” Ranboo asked worriedly as Wilbur just sat there for a minute before launching at you and Tom, both of you screaming as Wil toppled on top of you both.

Screams turned into laughter as Wil’s hands gently dug into the sides of your and Tom’s side, tickling you both briefly as he retracted back into the trunk.

“Was I scary?” Wil asked as he smiled at you three. 

“Hmm… no but you do look really pretty.” You smiled at him as the car stopped and you all got out.

Going to the back you opened the trunk and let Wil out as he sat on the edge of the car, letting you stand between his legs as you wrapped your arms around his neck, his hand resting on your hips. 

“Am I always pretty and handsome to you? Even when I’m trying to be scary or cringey or-“ 

You cut him off with a short kiss as you smiled down at him. 

“Yes. Always. Now let’s get this stuff off of you, it looks itchy.” 

“Oh it is!” 

taglist; @mysticalsoot (wanna be added? Send an ask or dm!)

[kalcifers-blog]

Pissa Headcanons to rattle around my brain like Tallulah's maracas

I feel like I shouldn't need to clarify this but I will anyway- this is all about the Cubitos, not the CCs

Sun and Moon relationship, but they look like opposite of what they are (Philza looks like he's the sun but he's actually the moon and vise versa)

Missa's hair is significantly longer than what it was after he returns to the island (Philza LOVES it)

Missa is deffo the type to give lots and lots of small pecks just all over Philza's face. Philza is just constantly sat there blushing and smiling

Missa likes to teach Phil how to play guitar (yes he does the thing where he sits behind him and holds the back of his hands to show him how to play. Great stuff)

Philza loves horror and doesn't get scared easily, Missa also loves horror but does get scared easily. Cue movie marathons between them where Missa is constantly jumping and Philza (playfully) laughing at him

I'm sure this is basically canon now but Missa also loves to teach Philza how to dance- in return Philza likes to help Missa out with fighting and offers to spar with him. They both have equally flustered reactions to the other showing them how to do said activity

Missa is very physical affection oriented. Whenever Philza is in his vicinity they're hardly apart for even a second because of how close Missa wants to be all the time (90% of the time he's not even doing it consciously)

Missa is taller than Philza (Avians tend to be shorter on average since it helps out with flying) it's not major or a huge difference in any normal circumstance but it definitely feels that way as soon as they're close in proximity to each other (it does not help that Missa wears those big ass goth boots with thick soles/heels, making him appear even taller than usual)

Philza likes to collect items that remind him of the people he's closest too (i.e, Technoblades emerald, Wilbur's guitar pick, Tallulah's amapola, Chayanne's rubber duck etc) for Missa it's a sugar skull mask Missa decorated for him (it includes his green colour scheme and the hardcore heart)

Missa also loves to braid Philza's hair and preen his wings and takes great pride in doing so (he's not AMAZING at it, but he still loves to do it)

Every government assigned couple were given rings when they first joined, at first Philza and Missa wore theirs as necklaces before they actually developed any feelings for each other- now they both wear them on their right ring fingers (they unconsciously agreed that they'll move the rings onto their left hands if they ever actually got married)

Philza can understand birds (he mostly understands crows but he's able to piece together what other types of birds are saying as well) so he's often telling them to "shush" when they catch him and Missa alone together

Missa has death touch, meaning anything living will die if they touch his bare skin. Anything besides (Death's favourite) Philza of course. (Also the death touch does not work on undead which is why he still hides away from Zombies and Skeletons, which is partially the reason why he's kinda shit at fighting)

Trans ftm q!Philza but his top surgery scars are the shape of an upsidedown heart (Missa thinks it's SO PRETTY)

Mumza is watching all of this go down with a bowl of popcorn like her personal weekly telenovela. She finds it the funniest thing that Philza's type is essentially "tall, dark and emo"

Wilbur did not know that Philza would like men, the whole "Phil- I didn't know you were bi, and polyamourus" is still canon, but at first Wilbur was kinda just joking not thinking there was actually anything behind it. You can imagine his shock when in fact, his dad does indeed like men.

[anarchy-and-piglins]

Technoblade had his guard up the moment they stepped foot on Unseelie territory. 

The rumors he had grown up with rang true. As a fae himself, Techno could tell a difference in the magic that ran through these woods. Any creature encountered here could not be trusted.

And that was kind of a problem considering he was pretty much traveling blindly. All they had given him was a vague set of directions and his precious cargo that Techno had to get there. No pointers on how to get across Unseelie land untouched. The guards he had brought with him were capable and Techno wasn't humble about his own skills in a fight. The issue wasn't a threat to their physical safety. But he didn't want to cause an all-out war if he provoked any hostility. 

The last time the two courts had a serious conflict, too many lives were lost. As the leader of this envoy, it was Techno’s responsibility to prevent that from happening again. 

It hadn't been long before he heard something up ahead. It sounded like a lute being played, and the humming of a tune that ran underneath. They continued down the road, until Techno spotted him. A young fae around his age was sitting on a branch that curved over the path. His feet dangled off as he played his instrument.

But Techno wasn’t fooled. He had expected they’d be keeping an eye on the road.

The Unseelie knew about his mission. And they’d do anything to get their hands on something so precious.

Raising a hand to signal his men to stay back, Techno stepped forward. As much as he loathed the intricacies of diplomacy, Techno knew his way around words very well. He’d rather do the talking himself than risk one of the guards misspeaking and getting them into trouble.

“Hullo,” he greeted the man politely enough.

The other fae looked down at him with vivid brown eyes, mouth pulling up into a wicked grin.

“Oh, what’s this? Lost wanderers?” He dropped himself down from the tree to land nimbly on his feet, brown curls bouncing. “Can I have your name? I don’t like talking to strangers.”

“You may know my name,” Techno said, trying not to grin at a slight twitch of the man’s brow in annoyance. Did they really think he’d be that stupid? “It’s Technoblade.”

“I suppose you may know mine too then. Wilbur.” Techno ignored his outstretched hand.

“I need to get to the other side of these woods,” he explained. “You wouldn’t be so chill as to grant us safe passage for free, would you? That’d be pretty pog.”

This time it was Wilbur’s turn to chuckle. With the Unseelie, nothing came without a price.

“Depends on where you need to go. Can I have your map?” Wilbur asked.

“No,” Techno said while handing it to him. “But you can look at it.”

Wilbur unfurled it with a light laugh. “I’m not going to steal your shit.”

“I’ve heard your sort is quite prone to doing that.”

“Nah, we only take what’s interesting to us.” With that, Wilbur’s eyes briefly flicked towards where Techno’s guards were waiting, the paladin with his cargo.

“Safe passage,” Techno reminded him.

“Right, right.” Wilbur bunched the map up into a messy ball and shoved it back at him, starting to walk ahead and gesturing for them to follow. “My family can take you. I’ll bring you to them. And I guarantee no harm will come to you or your shipment.”

“Liar.”

Wilbur froze. The expression on his face was comically confused.

“Fae can’t lie,” he said slowly, almost as if he was testing the water.

“Seelie can’t lie,” Techno corrected - ironically also because Wilbur was right. Seelie couldn’t lie.

Unseelie, on the other hand.

“How did you know I was lying?” Wilbur asked.

Again, Techno found himself unable to speak anything but the truth.

“It’s a talent I’ve had since birth. No clue where it comes from, I can just tell when I’m being lied to.” It was no wonder Techno had been chosen for this mission.

“Interesting,” Wilbur muttered. And when Techno looked at him, Wilbur was staring right back at him, golden-brown eyes even more ablaze with an uncomfortable sort of fascination. “You’re… that’s very interesting.”

Techno shifted on the spot, trying not to instinctively reach for his sword. “Your family?”

“Yes!” Wilbur snapped out of it suddenly, blinking a few times. But he never really looked away from Techno again, his smile that much more unsettling. “Right this way, they’ll be thrilled to meet you. We so rarely get visitors here, I think they’ll really enjoy having you stay.”

And oddly enough, Techno could tell that those words were not a lie.

[fernlessbastard]

Opinions on transfem/Trans woman c!Wilbur? If you havent already, since its a slightly popular Hc w c!W

honestly I'm mostly indifferent ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

it's not for me, but like I've got no particularly strong feelings either way. I can absolutely see a lot of reasons for that reading - it all does fit, so it's not a matter of there being no justification, but more so just personally I just don't hold that headcanon

the thing with either of them being trans is that like, I am for some reason oddly attached to Quackity being specifically and strictly a man who's into men, or at the very least masc individuals - maybe it's cause I just started off with that "hc" (I mean it is kinda pretty heavily canon - I don't recall him ever flirting with a woman). Wil being mtf would obviously make all of that very complicated - each time I start to think about it I can't help but think if 1. is there any way for Q to still be into Wil without that invalidating Wil's gender identity 2. is there any way for Q - a gay man - to have feelings for a woman that doesn't invalidate his sexual identity Like, exceptions happen, but mm idk It's obvioulsy completely different if you hc Q as pan/bi/homoflexible/whatever else, but yeah personally I'm just really attached to the idea of Q being strictly homosexual

When it comes to the nonbinary umbrella it's kinda similar (with both being amab) - with Wil it works i'd say, there isn't as much of a conflict with Quackity's sexuality, but again, I'm mostly indifferent and you do you; with Q it just kinda doesn't quite fit for me - idk he just has relatively binary man vibes imo

in regards to other combinations of one/both of them being trans: > Wil's ftm - yeah sure I'm down with that, good for him, I don't actively hc that but like yeah no conflict there, plus I guess it'd explain how he had Fundy - though fantasy mpreg makes it so much funnier > Q's mtf - idk personally i just don't feel it in the slightest. He doesn't really give me any of those vibes. Especially considering things like the fact that he's short, has longer hair, is/used to be a sex worker (with presumably male clients), is heavily (and at the very least primarily, if not exclusively) into men, canonically has a big ass, etc, so it just really doesn't sit right with me to then have him be mtf - I just want some more representation of those characteristics in men for once, y'know? It's just feels like it's perpetuating stereotypes. Of course there is no wrong way to be trans - if you're trans, you're trans, and that is valid and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. But we're talking about a fictional character, so if we have a character that's amab, likes men, is a sex worker, is short, has long hair, isn't trying to be this stereotypical "perfect big strong alpha male", is emotionally invested in their romantic life (which additionally is messy), then turning around and saying "woman" just feels like we're just going off stereotypes, and ignoring an example of a great, rare, pretty subversive representation of a man who might come off as feminine at times, but is still fully a man, and all those things that are stereotypically assigned to women and a fem gender identity don't make him any less of a man. Especially the fact that he's into men - it does personally just immediately remind me of all the "a gay man is just a woman" talk (and maybe it's cause I'm from Poland and in my 20s now so i really did grow up hearing those sentiments quite a lot). And obviously i'm not saying that that's what you're doing when you hc Q as mtf, but i am explaining my personal headcanons and reasonings for them, as well as reasoning for why I don't headcanon other things. > Q's ftm - ok so, it fits. And I really really hate that it fits. It would make so much sense but holy fuck guys I cannot handle that ok - I'm ftm, and if he's cis then I can like at least partially remove myself from all of that... but if he's ftm then holy fucking shit everything just hits so much harder like guys I'm not strong enough to handle the pain of seeing this much of myself in him ok I will simply collapse, like him being seen as an object and sexualised and put down and belittled and pressured to be all submissive and shit just hits so completely different if you see it through the lenses of him being ftm and let me fucking tell you I am NOT ready for the breakdown thinking about it and how similar and in some cases identical to my own experiences it all is would cause m > ANYWAY with them both being trans it's just a combination of my previous thoughts as they apply ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

hope that answers your question UwU anyway ha ha bye--/lh

[the-phantom-author]

The sheer arrogance and privilege that people like George Davidson, Clayton, Nick, Luke, Wilbur Soot and many others in the content creator space walk around with is dangerous. These are men who have not only hurt women who have trusted them, but they have covered for eachother when they do shit that not only harmful but genuinely illegal.

Many people can/have defended dream because he's not someone accused in this mess, but that full of ignores that these are people he, not only was close friends with, but also housed. He knew, and to say he didn't makes you just as bad as he is.

[anachronistic-falsehood]

good god do not go on fucking twt rn, people are looking through past tommy and wilbur clips and speculating that tommy was abused as well (whether he was or not is not important right now, don't speculate about his personal life when he's not even online to correct anyone, for the love of god can we focus on shelby), or pushing phil, tommy, jack, charlie, quackity, etc. to say something asap as if they're not probably processing the fact that one of their very good friends has been an abusive piece of shit this entire time.

ALSO (this is not defending him this is just something i've seen that is pissing me off) i've seen people saying he was a creep for making a lot of friends who are much younger than him, like teenagers. but a) phil has made friends with these same people and no one is getting pissed at him, b) being friends with people who are younger than you (YES including in their teens while you are an adult) is not a morally terrible thing, you can be friends with people who are younger than you and not be a creep, c) CALLING HIM A "CLOSET PEDOPHILE" FOR BEFRIENDING YOUNGER MEN IS JUST TAKING EYES OFF OF SHELBY AND TRYING TO PUT IT ON THE YOUNGER MALE CCS YOU ENJOY. for the love of god stop focusing on the male streamers who haven't even had a chance to say something yet and focus on SUPPORTING SHELBY. THE VICTIM.

[bgm05]

the most nefarious effect the whole dream smp minecraft youtuber sphere had is that they got a bunch of young transgender men to name themselves shit like Wilbur