#not exactly a problem but alters my plan a bit

[theamazingannie]

Obsessed that the FedEx guy focused the photo on my mom’s frog fountain rather than my actual package

[the-artist-grimm]

Closeup plus basic notes of the lamb's room from my Starfall comic! Anthea's got a room in the attic of the temple

Also extra notes! Placing under Read More just to keep things tidy

The One Who Waits Alter

Anthea started worshipping TOWW shortly after entering Ratau's care. The rat hadn't exactly planned on telling his freshly orphaned, somewhat traumatized ward that their new guardian was previously a cult leader, but Anthea discovered some of his old books on the lost 5th Bishop of Death one day and Ratau was left little choice but to explain. The book was an exact copy of an extremely old, likely from right before Narinder was imprisoned, text that depicted the god of death as a kind, patient being, which for the lamb whose family had died in the most violent way possible quickly became a comfort. It contrasted Ratau's own memories of a somewhat more reserved, stern god, but since it made Anthea happier he decided to let it be. Anthea hasn't missed a nightly prayer ever since, and still does it before bed despite now having direct access to the god himself. The layout was one they read from that old book, which stated that a pentagram wreath was to hang between an evenly divided four candles. Unwritten however was the reasoning-the center was Death, and on either side his siblings who ruled over Life. They were meant to be lit in honor of the siblings who took care of the mortals Narinder would eventually receive after death.

Stars and Starmap

Back when he was still alive the lamb's father, Aries, would take Anthea with him on supply runs knowing they didn't get much one on one time otherwise with their younger siblings around. They'd sometimes be out overnight so the two would go stargazing, and its something the lamb still holds dear. Their original copy of the book, 'A Story of Stars' was one of his last gifts to them which even while he was alive Anthea was super careful with it since books are hard to get, but their brothers kinda colored all over it while Anthea was out gathering supplies shortly after his death one time. The lamb played it off and shared with them after as a 'oh they're little and just miss dad its ok' type of thing, but it was kinda reluctantly, with them being secretly upset about it whenever they saw scribbles all over their favorite illustrations while reading to the kids. It burned with their old life, and now Anthea would give anything to have those scribbled pages back.

Sleep Potions and Herbs

The lamb suffers from sleep problems and often brews their own remedies. They know not to take them often since they're kinda really strong-like once they kick in they literally just pass out, but they keep them around for when nightmares get bad. They know a few other remedies from Flinky, since he used to double as both Ratau's right hand and cult medic. Antidotes, pain tonics, basic essentials for when you don't have a doctor.

The Crown

Gonna make a silly doodle comic but after an uh...awkward incident with Narinder calling the lamb while they were dressing one morning the two made a deal in regards to his being able to see through the crown-if the crown is off and facing a wall it means the lamb needs privacy and he's to try again later or until they call back unless told otherwise. Look he may be a bit of a grumpy god but Shamura raised at least one brother to be a gentleman lol

Hope Chest

In sheep culture weaving/knitting with wool was a huge thing, especially for ewes, like most learned from the time they could walk from their mothers. After coming of age most would start keeping a chest they'd gradually fill with handmade linens, blankets, ect. for their future homes after marriage, and it was something Ratau encouraged Anthea to do since he didn't want them to just drop their culture. They still got a loom over at his place since it's hard to move, though they do have knitting needles in the chest.

Books

Books are somewhat hard to come by if you're not in one of the Bishops' cults where they have scribes so Anthea tends to collect any and all they find

Ratau's Family Crest

Given to the lamb on their 18th birthday. Rats have family crests tattooed onto their foreheads at 18, and since he'd essentially adopted Anthea Ratau thought it was fitting to give them something similar but not permanent. It fell off during their execution, but they made sure to go back and grab it after downing the heretics that attacked after resurrection. They still wear it now under their tunic

[bubbleddisasters]

(Can’t believe I’m writing my first ever x reader (kind of) this but the Self Aware Au is so interesting to me)

Code Escaping: Heartstabyl Edition.

(All Students (can be viewed as platonic or romantic, Orthos is strictly platonic though)

Gender Neutral Reader!

——-

After several attempts, and failures, they finally succeeded.

They got through

To your world.

What next? Try and Find you, Rush to your side first thing and try to casually explain that a video game character broke out of their code to see them?

Maybe set things up first? Comfy living, then an easy way to find you? Or go off clues from things you used to say or areas he saw behind you? Or did he get lucky and he’s two feet away?

Man, He should have checked the code for your location…..No time to lose!

------------------

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒃𝒚𝒍

-----------------

𝑹𝒊𝒅𝒅𝒍𝒆 🌹

——

Truth be told, he got quite lucky.

A library is where he arrived, one he recognized as your hiding spot to study, or simply relax.

So, he found every tome he thought relevant on what he needed to know of the basics of your world, aswell as the one he last witnessed you study, and sat himself in the seat next to where you usually did, awaiting your arrival.

Was it timely? Perhaps, Perhaps not.

You’d been slightly (Very) annoyed that for some reason, none of your Riddle cards would show his appearance. The Chibi was no where to be seen, and your homescreen vacant of him.

So as you made your way to your spot, you nearly shrieked because either thats a damn good cosplay or Riddle Rosehearts was very casually reading the history textbook your teacher assigned while sitting four feet away from your usual spot.

Steel blue eyes scoped to check the noise, and sat up instantly.

“Just as I expected, you’d arrive here sooner or later. You certainly took your time, however.”

Before you could process the fact he sounded suspiciously like Ciel Phantomhive, he quite literally summoned a tea set. Out of thin air.

And was just staring. Most definitely waiting for you to sit down casually like he didn’t summon an entire china set with piping hot tea in a magicless world.

This was the real deal. Mommy Issues Supreme was now officially your problem. Good Luck.

————————

𝑻𝒓𝒆𝒚♣

——

He remembered the name of the bakery down the street you visited.

As a joke, when you’d finished book one, you’d ordered a Strawberry Tart. He couldn’t exactly remember if you actually ate it, or gave it away, but it was funny, regardless.

Using Paint the Roses, he altered a napkin into a very nice resume, and he got a job there.

When Trey up and vanished from your homescreen, you’d gone to get a pastry to cheer yourself up. Not the best coping skill, but hey, it works.

It was pretty late, and it seemed they were closing up, so you planned to just be in and out, not wanting to make their job any harder.

The little bell rung as you entered, and the little alarms in your head went off when you arrived at the counter, and a-wait, why would someone cosplay at their job? Trey and working at a Bakery fit together, but…wait a second. Thats not a wig, and thats not contacts either.

If Ingame Trey was missing, and this guy looked exactly like him…..Nope, Not Possible.

Trying to play it casual , you ordered the usual and once you had it, sat down as you normally would.

But when you took a bite of your treat, it tasted like….Strawberry. Then Chestnut. What the hell.

You unintentionally had an odd staring contest with the current cashier, who then held out a scarily familiar pen, chuckling a bit as he placed it on the counter.

“Surprise.”

After making his way around the counter, he sat down on the other side of the table, doing his best to not freak you out too much.

“Yea, I know this might be a bit confusing, and It’s probably not easy to process all this, so take your time, and I’ll answer any questions you have.”

Great, because you had several.

——————-

𝑪𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒓♦

——

Social Media Stalking but not Stalking was his forte.

The first thing he did was make pretty much every account he could on medias he knew you had. Like Tumblr.

He decided it would be way too freaky to just pop up out of nowhere, so as he was thinking and exploring, he took a few selfies and photoshoots here are there.

And WOW. They blew up. At first he thought it was the general math of Attractive Guy + Good Photos of him = Alot of Views. He had sorta kinda forgot other people knew about Twist until he noticed the flood of “Cater IRL” and “THE Cater Cosplay” comments. Which gave him an idea.

After the annoyance of all your Caters being lost in the code sauce, you messed around online until you accidentally pulled up a page with the greatest Cater Cosplay you had ever witnessed.

You had to do a double take when the follow button said “Follow Back”. You complied with the buttons wishes and followed them back.

After a while, you somehow ended up dming back and forth with him, and his strangely Cater coded texts. You also discovered that it apparently wasn’t a cosplay, and just his natural appearance was scarily similar to Caters..and his name was Cater, which was accidentally revealed by a Starbucks barista calling out after finishing making his drink while you were calling.

Part of you suspected that this could be the real Cater, with all the math adding up, and the other half of you called you a fucking idiot for that.

Little did you know the first one was exactly what Cater was hoping for.

With that, he managed to do some kinda social media stalking ( but not like, Rook Levels, DW) and found your general area based on area matching (TY Google Maps!) and nearly jumped for joy when he realized it was where he was too.

He subtly managed to sneak that in conversation, and set up a meetup between you two, a brunch and phone shopping. Weird Pick on the last one, but you decided not to judge.

The first thing he said when you arrived confused you, alot.

With a bright smile, he waved you over.

“Hey! Long Time no see!”

Ignoring the aggressive red flag in that statement with a simple “Maybe he meant since we called” as if you didn’t call him last night to plan this out, either way, you scooted in.

You two got so distracted chatting, at one point making up a game of fake gossiping the craziest things to see if anyone reacted, and for your own entertainment.

Because of that, your drink went warm, and as soon as you mentioned it, you got your answer to the “Where did my Caters go.” question.

Why? Because, as if this had happened before, he simply refroze it. Magically.

As you stared in pure awe and confusion, he grimaced upon the realization his cover was pretty much blown.

“Whoops…Lets just pretend that didn’t happen, and I’ll explain later, ‘Kay?”

You just had to pray nobody witnessed that, as Area 51 did definitely did not sound like Cay-Cays ideal Vacay.

——

𝑨𝒄𝒆♥

—

He thought it would be fucking HILARIOUS to prank you, as, unfortunately for you, he ended up in your house, only to find out you were asleep, which gave him the opportunity to PUA (Prank Upon Arrival)

For the next several hours of your waking life, Ace of Hearts playing cards of varying sizes would be infesting your house, or when you’d put something down and look away, there was either a card on it or it had been replaced by a card.

You were also robbed of leftovers you’d been saving, and a few snacks by this card demon.

After you left the house vacant (you fool), the Knave struck again, this time sneaking out and guessing your next move, heading off to a cafe because you needed caffeine after the card madness, until you had already ordered, and you had turned on Twist while waiting for your drink.

Quietly, he slid into the chair infront of you as you grumbled.

“He’s not on the homescreen either—Where the hell are all my Ace cards?”

Hehe, Infront of you. This is the best setup ever.

Leaning back on the chair, he couldn’t contain a grin as he faked obliviousness.

“I dunno. Maybe try looking around a lil’ more?”

Not paying much attention to who was talking to you in your moment of despair , you sighed, swiping back to the home screen.

“They’re not those kinds of cards.”

“Aren’t like, five of them card themed?”

“Four right now, since Ace has seemingly gone and fucked off to another dimension:”

“Yeaaa, about that. It was not as easy to do as you’re making it sound. Just saying.”

You looked up for a split second, then did a double take and nearly skyrocketed out of your chair, making indecipherable confusion noises while he laughed his ass off, totally soaking in the success of his perfect surprise you had unintentionally enabled.

While you stood frozen in shock, he simply grabbed your things, put them in your hand, S̶t̶o̶l̶e̶ grabbed your coffee, and whisked you out the door.

I pray for you, good luck dealing with him.

——

𝑫𝒆𝒖𝒄𝒆♠

——

Woke up in either your garage or kitchen, and was confused. Rightfully so.

Since he couldn’t really find you around, but at least recognized this as your house, he just waddled around more or less, fixing random things here and cleaning up there while trying to find clues to where you might be, or if he should just wait here.

He finally found a grocery list, which you had forgotten, and spent the next 10 minutes trying to find the nearest grocery store while unintentionally locking himself out of the house in the process, so made the genius decision to hope you were still at the grocery store and dashed over.

You’re doing great, dude.

Anywho, he got lucky, because in the middle of carrying off your shopping bags, your notification that your AP was full went off, and as you went to use it, you noticed a severe lack of Deuce on your homescreen.

This lead to sitting on a bench and getting distracted trying to figure out why the hell this glitch had only affected your Deuce cards, so you weren’t paying much attention when you heard a voice somewhat far off but close.

“Oh hey! There you are!”

Assuming it was for someone else, you continued trying to fix the “glitch”, then paused when you heard the voice from before right infront of you.

“Do you need help with carrying those bags?”

The words “I’m good, thanks.” died on your tongue when you looked up, only to be face to face with the guy you’d been suffering trying to figure out where he went for 20 minutes. Ingame. In a VIDEO GAME.

Internally, you practically short-circuited, after you panicked, he started panicking, and you both ended up in a weird confusion panic that had the energy of the spidermans pointing at eachother meme.

Great job! You have now acquired a German Shepard Golden Retriever mix in human form.

————

Bonus :

——

𝑪𝒉𝒆'𝒏𝒚𝒂⤵➟

——

Unlike most of them, he had absolutely zero trouble hopping into your world.

However, instead of revealing himself right away, he decided to be the ghost of good deeds and mischief. And a random black cat you’d suspiciously find on your window sill demanding pets or cuddles.

Luckily transforming, flying, invisibility, and the rest of his magic ability seemed to work just fine.

Sometimes, you’d randomly find things placed in unusual places, spoons on the ceiling, for example, the paintings or pictures sometimes randomly taking on very funny faces, teacups and plates floating around at 2am, leaving you to assume it was a sleepy hallucination.

Other times you’d be aggravatingly trying to fix something, look away for one moment, and not only was it fixed, it looked almost brand new. Or you’d open the fridge or pantry, and notice the lack of food, then open it again, and i’d be filled to the brim.

You never noticed anything too strange on Twist itself however until you got bored one day, and decided to replay Heartstabyls chapters, only to realize Che’nya was…completely missing.

Out of sheer curiosity, you checked his Pomfieore Chapter appearance. Nothing. Gone.

Trying to see if it was just the WIFI connection, you moved rooms, only to see a blink of purple in the corner of your eye.

Lounging in the air by the window, tail swaying lazily, he peeked over, then grinned his signature grin.

“Nya-ice to meet you~”

———

Yay! Thats all!!

Holy shit I can’t believe I wrote this, feel free to take me out (Date or Assassination I really don’t care)

Alright! I might do more but they might not be in dorm order, see ya!

[celtrist]

I'm not sorry for loving you~

Really doesn't need to involve the obsession au, but the au is what I had in mind. And maybe that song would work better with someone than Mimzy, but Mimzy is probably one of the more sane-ish? Characters in this AU.

So I have to admit, Mimzy was just one of those characters that slipped my mind when thinking of the obsession AU. Granted the docket of characters was very filled in the original piece, and despite the history of these two characters (both in-universe as well as their development history), their relationship whether romantic or platonic is incredibly overlooked. I feel like it's pretty common knowledge concerning Hazbin, but when I talk about the character's developments, I mean that they were originally a romantic couple. Despite this fact, Almimzy is an incredibly non-existent ship, and that makes sense. Alastor and Mimzy barely interacted in the official show, and while she was planned to be a guest, she wasn't really present in the pilot or anything. With so little content even when the official show came out, it's kinda no wonder but it's still a little surprising considering their old status as a couple.

Ah, but I'm rambling! Back on topic, I didn't think of Mimzy until I was asked about it (which as silly as it is, it was really neat to see people ask about this au!). So I've since thought a bit more and all that I've said in the ask is pretty much close to on point with how she acts. I do think, however, that considering she ALSO knew Alastor in life just as he had her, she would be slightly aware of... something being amiss with her feelings. Not insanely, she's just as bad and unaware as everyone else with the obsession she has over him. She just is able to remember her feelings on Earth and compare them to her current feelings and recognize that they're not exactly the same. The problem is that, she's Mimzy. She seems like the type who'd be in denial about something being wrong with her, but I feel like she'd recognize while not thinking too hard about it that the love she felt on Earth is seemingly altered in Hell. The line "I'm not sorry for loving you" feels really good for her here when considering most of everyone else around Alastor WOULD be sorry if they had a more clear mind about it. But Mimzy wouldn't be sorry about it because she always loved Alastor, even back on Earth (in this AU anyway)

Mimzy's obsession is unique in that, rather than doing anything to Alastor she does things to HERSELF to get to Alastor, she doesn't have as much to be guilty of compared to others in her actions due to the curse. She gets herself into trouble, makes herself sick, self-harms, and has probably threatened to kill herself to get his attention, which not great and all very manipulative, but she never forces Alastor to do anything and could be (I don't know if I'm settled on this idea yet) rooted in her own self-esteem concerning the self-harm stuff. And it works. Alastor is canonically close to Rosie, but he never knew her until Hell so in this AU, he doesn't know who the real Rosie is. He knows who the real Mimzy is though, and he doesn't want anything bad to happen to her. So ironically, the person who pushes themselves onto Alastor the least does probably get most of his attention.

I can imagine a scene like this where he's patching her up and they're talking and Mimzy brings up how she's perhaps confused with her own feelings considering how different they are from life. And I can just imagine Alastor feeling more ill at the idea of Mimzy having always loved him romantically but never saying anything if she confessed that, despite how crazy her feelings for him feel in Hell are, the feeling of love and wanting him in a way he doesn't reciprocate was always true since their time alive.

I'm just rambling, but like I said in the ask Mimzy is probably one of the more tragic cases of what the curse does to Alastor's relationships. She's also probably the closest Alastor can feel to having a true friend again, even if Mimzy is still pretty far from her actual self around him. But she's familiar and would probably be the biggest driving force for him to try and get rid of the curse (other than the obvious harassment). He enjoyed Rosie before she made him sick, and he enjoyed Vox before he revealed to be the absolute worst in his thoughts about what he wanted from and to do to Alastor, but Alastor only knew them in Hell. And as far as he's aware, the curse starts immediately, so he NEVER knew the real Rosie or Vox. But Mimzy was someone he knew and wanted to be real with again... and could pretend to be real with again given a few drinks.

[lowkeyremi]

I do (MSBY Atsumu x fem!reader)

Expanding on this because domestic Atsumu Miya has my heart.

Content: Fluff, getting married, silliness because atsumu is a whole other breed.

"Atsumu. Do not make me come in there. We're not supposed to see each other until I walk down the aisle!" Osamu had called you to talk some since into Atsumu because he planned to stand at the alter wearing his suit without his shirt underneath.

"Sweetness, I don't see the problem! Ya've seen my chest before!" He's whining behind the door, you can hear it in his voice.

"Atsumu Miya. That's not proper." You reason and you can hear shuffling on his end.

"When has anythin' involved with us been proper? I accidentally sent ya a dick pic when ya were watchin' tiktoks with yer grandma." A burst of laughter escapes your lips.

"You really aren't normal, but 'Tsumu... wear it for me please? Think about it from my perspective, how would you feel if I was shirtless in front of all our wedding guest?" He responds immediately.

"None of them woulda seen ya half naked cuz I wouldn't let ya go out like that." His voice is filled with confidence.

"That's exactly what I'm trying to do right now." You tell him and he goes quiet.

"Oh. I'll wear my undershirt then." You sigh in relief, Atsumu hears your feet click clack on the floor so he knows you're probably headed back to your dressing room.

"Baby, wait!" He yells loud enough for you to hear him across the door.

"Mhm?"

"Can I pleaseeeeeeeee get a kiss?" He begged.

"No, 'Tsum. You'll get to kiss me when they announce us married." He groans very dramatically. Osamu always tells you Atsumu should have been an actor instead of a volleyball player.

"Come on, fuck the marriage superstition! Bad luck my ass." He huffs, you can tell he's being a little bit of a bratty baby. You spoil him WAY too much. Everytime he wants a kiss he gets a kiss.

"Fine but we have to close our eyes." This is your compromise.

"Ya think I kiss with my eyes open?" The sarcasm in his voice is strong.

"I mean the whole time! Not just for the kiss idiot." One thing you've learned about being in a relationship with Atsumu is that he makes you want to roll your eyes.. A LOT.

"Okay open the door, my eyes are closed." You promise him standing at the door. The door opens, in seconds his breath fans your face, he lifts your chin to kiss him. His lips are smooth and taste like mint chap stick.

Realization dawns on you and you push him away. Your eyes pop open, "Your eyes were open the whole time! Our wedding is gonna be ruined, Atsumu!" He grins at you, his smug little grin.

"I couldn't help it, you're so beautiful." He's cheesing, hard.

"Don't think you can compliment your way out of this one." Your hand is on your hip. Atsumu runs back into his dressing room and shuts the door, he's snorting and laughing while doing so.

"Love you!" He yells loud enough for you to hear him across the door.

What did you get yourself into?

Little bonus: Hinata and Bokuto are sobbing when you walk down the isle, what dramatics. They're yelling, "That's my sister in law!!!!"

[officialleehadan]

Writing Pregnancy

Hello darlings. I've been thinking about writing this for a while, and it seems useful to a lot of people who are planning to Baby or who have characters who are planning to, or currently are, Babying.

It's not exactly a story, but y'all seem to like these essays from time to time, so I hope this one is interesting too.

So here it is. A guide to being pregnant as written by someone who has recently done it, for writers who have not or will not do it themselves.

This post will be broken down by weeks, because that’s how medical people do it, and also because some of this stuff really doesn’t happen by month.

DISCLAIMER: Every pregnancy is different. Your mileage may differ, maybe a lot. This is based on my pregnancy and is written as a handy reference for people who haven't done this themselves.

An important note, doctors count pregnancy as having begun AT THE DATE OF THE FIRST DAY OF YOUR LAST PERIOD unless there are extenuating circumstances such as an extremely unreliable, or nonexistent period. If this is the case, they will judge it based on your first ultrasound (8 weeks or so) or by when morning sickness kicks in (6-10 weeks) depending on the tech level your character is facing.

Be aware, this guide will be fairly explicit and will talk about the squishy bits, since they’re pretty involved in this whole business. If you keep reading and discover the horrible truth, that pregnancy is profoundly icky in many ways, I warned you.

Anyway, on to the fun part!

FAQ:

I am in my early-mid 30s (early when newly pregnant, older now obviously) when I was pregnant. I am in sound, but not neurotypical, mental health, and good physical health. I do not have major allergies or food issues other than caffeine which I am allergic to. (This is also relevant. More on this later.) I have some notable back problems which will be noted here because they’re relevant too. This pregnancy was planned and I have a wonderful and extremely supportive spouse (husband) who is the baby’s biological father. I also work a lot, but from home, which very much altered my experience

Week One: FIRST TRIMESTER

Technically speaking, right now, you’re probably menstruating and not actually pregnant at all. This will feel like a normal period, because that’s what it is. You’re not pregnant yet. Business as usual. If you were planning to get pregnant, you’re already on prenatal vitamins.

Week Two:

Congrats! You got laid! You still feel normal because implantation hasn’t happened yet. You’re still not technically pregnant. Just horny. Get it while it’s hot. If this pregnancy was an accident, or you’re trying to get pregnant, you’re not eagerly awaiting the point where you can test to know for sure.

Week Three:

Okay this is where you might see your first symptoms if your cycle is very regular, like mine is, and you’re watching your body closely for “that’s new” stuff. In my case, my boobs started swelling like they do when I’m on my period, except I was two weeks out from my period. Cue “huh, I might be pregnant” montage.

Week Four:

If you can test and you’re using the good home tests, or you’re in a hospital, this is probably when you test positive for pregnancy. Congrats!

Cue the “oh crap I’m pregnant??” Montage. (Yes this will happen even if you wanted it, planned it, and were actively trying to get pregnant. There will be some panic. You very likely will consider getting an abortion even if you’re eager and wanting the pregnancy. Don’t beat yourself up. This is normal.)

Week Five:

If your cycle is reasonably regular, this is when you’re gonna miss your first missed period. If you knew you’re pregnant, this is cool! Menstruation sucks. Not having your period for nine months is one of the best parts of pregnancy. If you didn’t know you’re pregnant, you’re probably panicking about now and buying a home test.

The ClearBlue digital ones are good and they’re in most pharmacies. Get those ones. Buy your prenatals at the same time. If you don’t want them, you don’t want them, but if you do want them, making a second trip is annoying. Also consider taking D3, calcium, fiber gummies, and fish oil. They all support you and baby health and keep the pregnancy from taking more of the nutrients form your body than you can spare.

Week Six:

You feel like you should feel different and don’t, and it’s weird. For those with a longer, or irregular cycle, this might be where you hit the stuff from Week Five. If you’re having the boob inflation like I did, that’s still happening. Buckle up. It’s not gonna stop. Otherwise, you feel weirdly normal. For a character who doesn’t have access to good sex education, they may not even know they’re pregnant yet.

Week Seven:

Basically the same as Week Six. You feel like you should feel different, and don’t. It’s uncommon, but you might start feeling morning sickness around this point. It’ll start as vague nausea and food aversions. This will get worse.

Week Eight:

Your first ultrasound! Congrats! It looks like a gummy bear that twitches! If you have twins, it may or may not be detectable at this point. You can’t tell the sex yet. It’s a gummy bear. If you don’t get an ultrasound for reasons of fictional story, you still might not know you’re pregnant. If you’re going to get an abortion, this is the last chance in many places.

Week Nine:

So It Begins. The morning sickness. You have food poisoning all the time. You feel profoundly like hell and may be prone to puking, and still being hungry, so you go back and keep eating, because you need the calories. This is also when you start getting thirsty all the time. This is because you gain more than half again your blood volume while pregnant. You need that hydration to make blood and amniotic fluid for your baby.

I found ice cream bars with nuts to be very good for dealing with morning sickness, and ginger did absolutely nothing at all. I basically lived on tea for a while there.

Week Ten:

Congrats. You feel like crap basically all the time. My morning sickness was pretty mild and I was puking almost every day. More if I hit a trigger food, which for me was anything that tasted or smelled ‘green’ (zucchini especially but cucumber and most leafy greens too) ‘water smell’ (showering, rain, humidity in general) and the usual ick smells (the trash).

You’re also tired all the time. Naps R Us. If you get flat and comfortable, you’re gonna fall asleep. If you’re flat and uncomfortable you might fall asleep. If you’re reasonably supported and upright you might fall asleep. Just assume you’re gonna be sleeping a lot.

If you’re writing a character with morning sickness, they’re likely to be very cuddly, but also very reluctant to go more than a very quick jog to the toilet.

The good news is that this is also when the major risk of miscarriage is over, and is frequently when people tell their families they’re expecting. Cue lots of celebrations!

Week Eleven:

“What the crap did I get myself into?”

Week Twelve:

“When is this crap gonna go away?”

Your baby is moving now, but you can’t feel it at all. You’ll see it in the ultrasounds however, which is neat.

Week Thirteen: SECOND TRIMESTER

“I have been eating soup and applesauce for FOUR WEEKS and I want Mexican but refried beans went Badly.”

it’s not uncommon to get a UTI at this point because you’re peeing a lot and it’s tough to stay clean because water smell makes you puke. Your doctors will take this uncomfortably seriously. You will get The Good Antibiotics, not the piddly crap they usually give out.

You will also now have very strong opinions about what sucks to puke up, as dictated by your nose, which has opinions about everything. You will have safe foods. Unfortunately for you, you’re just about past needing them.

Week Fourteen:

“I want a sandwich with deli meat, and a whole plate of sushi, and I can’t have either of them. This sucks.”

If you gave up caffeine, this is where that will really get hard. If you were already caffeine free, like I was, you’ll be jonsing for stuff you’re not allowed to have, like raw fish and deli meat. Be strong, but if you waver, it probably isn’t the end of the world. 

I’m told this is where cravings kick in, but I didn’t get anything notable, so I don’t know.

Week Fifteen:

This is about the time you kind of start feeling better. They say morning sickness starts improving around Week Thirteen, but for me it was longer. The napping is still a thing, so just be okay with that. This also when I started to show. That really depends on body type. I went into pregnancy carrying a little extra weight because I knew I would lose some during morning sickness (I lost nine pounds and mine wasn’t that bad. Be aware.) so it took a little longer for me to show.

More interestingly, you can actually feel your uterus now. It’s kind of like a grapefruit below your belly button. It will grow. You will be very curious about it the whole time

Week Sixteen

“Hey, I kind of feel better now!”

You have energy again. It’s novel. You can do chores and drive, and generally be a person. It shouldn’t be as exciting as it is, but here we are. Time to decorate the nursery if you have one, and to put together a whole bunch of stuff. It’s also a good time to clean up the ‘first trimester disaster’ that is your comfy spot and the mounds of crap around it.

Week Seventeen:

Still napping a lot, but almost feel human. Watch out for the Icks (your pregnancy sensitivities, like ‘green’ for me, which didn’t go away for my whole pregnancy) but you can actually take a shower without puking in the shower now! Scented products may or may not bother you later, but you’ll want them after you give birth. I threw away my shower gel after it made me sick and I regret it now.

Week Eighteen:

“Wow, I have a Baby Bump!” Cue walking around with your hand in your belly so everyone knows you’re pregnant OR wearing your biggest baggiest clothing to hide it and still feeling like it’s super obvious.

Week Nineteen:

There’s a fair chance you felt your baby move at this point, but unfortunately you’re also farting enough to fill the Hindenburg and this early any kicks feel like gas. Stay away from open flames and you’ll be okay.

Week 20: HALFWAY DONE!

Anatomy scan! This is your second ultrasound and the one where you might find out the sex of your baby. This is also where they’ll look for birth defects and genetic conditions. You may also do a blood test here which can also screen for genetic issues, and problems such as RH incompatibility, which is totally treatable with modern science but could kill a baby in a more medieval story.

Note: you may not find out the gender at this or any point until birth. My little girl got her nickname of Wiggles because she was doing cartwheels and the tech couldn’t get a good look between her legs. We didn’t find out her gender until she was born.

If you do find out, and this is crucial, DO NOT tell anyone but your partner what the sex is, or what names you’re considering. Everyone has opinions and all of them suck. Lie through your teeth about not knowing, or just tell them you want it to be a surprise. Do anything but tell them what they want to know. You will regret it if you do

Week Twenty-One:

“Holy crap that was intense. Definitely a kick!”

This is called the ‘quickening’ and for a fantasy character, will be one of the big ‘you’re really pregnant’ signs, because miscarriage is common. At twenty weeks, that risk is much less, which is a huge relief. Plus, now you’re getting kicks, which are all kinds of fun. It’s your first chance to really interact with the person you’re building inside you!

Week Twenty-Two:

“I need to clean the whole house right now everything is dirty I might rearrange the living room.

Welcome to nesting. It doesn’t go away. Use it to your advantage and clean whatever needs cleaning. Don’t judge yourself for starting and not finishing a project. You’re burning everything you have. Shame isn’t welcome here.

A fantasy character may start cleaning if they’re poor, or making baby clothing.

Week Twenty-Three:

Okay here’s where I started having problems. I have hypermobile ribs and mild scoliosis in my lower spine, these together mean a lot of back pain over the years, which I am very familiar with and which is annoying at best and debilitating at worst.

The issue? Pregnancy comes with a huge dose of the natural chemical relaxin. As the name implies, this softens up your tendons, among other things. If you have hypermobility already, get ready for a whole range of fun new ways to pop your bones out of place.

The worse issue? During pregnancy, you’re not allowed any painkiller but Tylenol. If you’re like me and hyper resistant to most pain meds, you might as well be popping tiktacs for all the good Tylenol will do for you.

Buy a heat pad (NOT A BLANKET, you cannot overheat right now) it will help.

If you tell your medical professionals about this back pain, they will freak out and want to get your kidneys tested, because asymptomatic UTIs can turn into kidney infections very quickly during pregnancy and can get very serious very quickly. If you are familiar with your particular brand of back pain, have the “Chronic Pain and You” conversation with your doctor early. The earlier the better. They still won’t give you anything better than Tylenol, but they probably won’t try to test your kidneys unless you pop a fever

Week Twenty-Four:

Kicking! Those are real kicks! Holy crap! Kicking!

This is so much fun, but it's also pretty unreliable. Baby will kick when it pleases them, not when you want to show someone else, and it'll be sporadic, even until the very end.

You may be getting Braxton hicks contractions. They don’t hurt, but they make your belly tense up, which is amusing. Also, when you orgasm, your uterus will get all hard. It does this normally, you just can’t usually feel it. It might freak you out a little. Coincidentally you will be horny enough to hop aboard just about anything that holds still long enough. Get a willing partner and/or a very fine collection of sex toys and be prepared to spend a lot of time taking yourself in hand.

Week Twenty-Five:

Your Dr appointments now happen every two weeks unless they’re worried about something. Also, buy a really comfortable pair of slip on shoes. Your time of being able to reach your feet is coming to an end and you’re gonna want them. Pro: maternity clothing is super soft and comfy and you’re gonna be delighted to wear it. It does tend to come in an unfortunate variety of ‘little house on the preggo’ floral patterns with demure necklines, but there’s some good stuff out there

Week Twenty-Six:

The Eater Beast Appears. You’re hungry all the time. No really. All the time. Constantly. Nuts are good for a snack. I ate a lot of peanut butter and apples. You may be having cravings. If so, lean into them. Have fun with it. This is the good part of your pregnancy.

Plus side, EVERYTHING tastes good!

Week Twenty-Seven

You REALLY look pregnant now. People will start asking when you’re due and giving you bad advice. Don’t murder them. You can probably get away with it, but cleaning up all that blood is hard when you can’t actually get off the ground without help anymore.

Week Twenty-Eight: THIRD TRIMESTER

Final ultrasound and gestational diabetes testing. The ultrasound is fun because Baby looks like a baby now! Holy crap! There’s a whole person inside you! You contain twice the usual number of bones! If you’re having a boy, you have in fact grown a pair.

My baby had a tiny little heart defect, so we talked to a specialist at this point. Try not to freak out if this happens. Defects like that are very easy to fix, and often go away on their own as my girl’s did.

The diabetes testing is different for everyone. They’ll have you drink a glycerin drink (get the orange flavored one. It’s reasonably inoffensive and you have to chug the stuff) and will test your blood to see how you react to the sugars. Don’t freak out if it’s positive. Most of the time gestational diabetes goes away after birth. If you’re borderline, they’ll test you again but for three hours rather than one.

The glycerin drink made me really sick and I refused to do the three hour testing. They will get very grumpy if you do this, however, you can buy a diabetic testing kit and track your blood sugars four times a day for a week instead, and they’ll accept that too. (Don’t get the one they prescribe. The Contour Next is cheap, reliable, easy to use, and doesn’t cost $200)

They might want you to change your diet and exercise. You will want to murder them for this. Don’t do it. Go for the damn walks and eat less carbs. It will kind of suck, but it’s for your baby, and it isn’t permanent.

Week Twenty-Nine

Return of the Nap Demon. You will sleep SO MUCH. Let it happen. Your body is working hard to build another person. Have mercy on yourself. Eat. Be okay with the weight gain. A lot of it is the baby inside you and your placenta, and the fluid you need to support them both. You need the calories.

Also, LACTATION! This is when two more of your orifices, which previously did not leak, start to leak. This too, will get worse. You can save the colostrum for your baby though, which can be helpful.

Week Thirty:

The Final Countdown. You’re ten weeks off your due date and if you haven’t already, you need to figure out how and where you want to give birth. Talk with your midwives and doctors. If you’re high risk, they won’t want you to give birth outside a hospital. This will feel crappy, but is honestly the safest choice provided you’re willing to tell doctors to piss off when needed. Start figuring out your birth plan. Talk to other expecting parents.

Week Thirty-One:

“Ugh, I’m huge.”

At this point, your character absolutely is not getting on a horse without a lot of help, and cannot ride for long regardless without serious discomfort or even pain. A fall could mean losing the baby, or a serious injury, and the undercarriage is not gonna handle having that much weight on it for long without protestations.

Week Thirty-Two

“Why am I crying? I’m not actually upset about anything and yet, I am hysterical.”

Warn your partner about this phase beforehand. They won’t believe how bad it’s gonna get, but the warning is still nice to have. Remind them that you warned them between bites of your favorite ice cream.

Week Thirty-Three:

Everyone you know who has baby stuff will try to give it to you. Be prepared to refuse whatever you don’t want. Be merciless or you will be flooded with broken baby crap you don’t want until you find some other poor soul to pawn it off on.

Week Thirty-Four:

You’ve been talking names, but now it’s time to decide for real. Try to follow this guide with your baby name options. Your kid will thank you for it.

1. Easy to say (no weird pronunciations)

2. Easy to spell (you are permitted ONE silent letter and no more)

3. Does not require explanation (Cultural names of a culture you’re not part of, especially)

4. Sounds good with middle and last name

5. Initials don’t spell something weird or stupid (Dora Indigo Kennedy sounds great, but the initials spell DIK)

6. Has agreeable nicknames (Elizabeth > Lizzy)

7. Isn’t a gimme for bullies to make fun of (Pubert)

8. Isn’t in the top 10 most popular names within the last five years. (Don’t want five of them in the same class)

9. Is not the name of someone you hate, even if it’s also the name of a family member. (obviously)

Follow these, and you will have a happy child who does not resent you for naming them something weird and messed up that no one can ever say or spell correctly, and which they have to explain every time they introduce themselves

Week Thirty-Five

You’re huge. You’ve just about reached maximum size and if your baby comes early at this point, they’ll probably be fine. This is immensely reassuring, because you have spent the last several months panicking about what if the baby comes early. Nightly baths are amazing. Also, your hair and nails will grow super fast right now, so be ready for that.

Week Thirty-Six:

Mobility is a serious issue. Stairs are hard. So are curbs. Getting into and out of a car is a Process and getting up off the couch or out of bed takes a While unless you have help. Your balance is screwed and you waddle now. You’re a real fall risk and that does change how you interact with the world.

You also probably can’t unload the laundry if it’s a top-loader, and you might not be able to do the dish washer either. Bonus! Less chores

Week Thirty-Seven:

Remember the Nap Demons? They’re back and they brought a friend. Heartburn Hell. It’s been bad for a while but it’s worse now. Skip the tums and go for something stronger.

Week Thirty-Eight:

Your craps are gone. Baby is due in fourteen days and you have given up on your good habits. You’re probably still walking, but only because Baby has their head lodged against your cervix and is trying to burrow out. People call this lightning crotch for a reason because it really feels like you have a taser lodged up there that gives you a shock now and then

On the plus side, baby kicks like crazy now and that’s both awesome and kind of uncomfortable. You can play with their feet and poke them, and they’ll probably have a favorite place to hang out in your belly. Pro tip, if baby just will not settle, get a hot pack and put it against the side where they hang out. They’ll curl up and go to sleep on it. Just make sure you don’t overheat.

If you think anyone this pregnant is doing much of anything except growl about how heavy they feel and eat, you’re wrong. Nobody is leading armies to war like this. Anyone trying to fight because their life is immediately in danger will probably lose because they are large, heavy, clumsy, and their center of gravity is toast.

Week Thirty-Nine:

The last rush of Nesting and it’ll be a bad one. You’re gonna try to do all kinds of stupid crap, like scrubbing the floors (you get stuck) climbing up ladders (you are a fall risk, get down) trying to drive places (you get dizzy, you should not be driving at this point) and trying to lift heavy stuff (absolutely not). You might try to paint your nursery or hang curtains. I tried to plant my whole garden. Don’t be me

Week Forty:

The Due Date Has Come. You’re now on baby-watch. You’re probably having a ton of Braxton Hicks, but the big difference between them and the real deal is pain. Braxton Hicks don’t hurt and real ones kind of feel like period cramps. How uncomfortable contractions are at first will really depend on how you handle pain.

Week Forty-One:

“What the hell do you mean I haven’t gone into labor yet?? Get this child out of me!”

Week Forty-Two:

“Crap. I’m just gonna be pregnant forever, huh? …oh crap. I think my water just broke.”

The usual questions:

Morning sickness:

So, morning sickness isn’t puking all the time. In fact if you’re puking more than once a day it’s a serious medical condition called hyperemesis gravidarum and sometimes requires medication

More commonly it’s a general sense of not feeling well, followed by brief but dramatic puking. Honestly, the closest analogy is really bad food poisoning when you can feel the puke coming, but it hasn’t come yet

During the morning sickness phase, you HAVE to eat. Not eating makes it so much worse, so it helps if you set a strict schedule of eating a snack or a small meal every two hours you’re awake, and as soon as you wake and right before bed. Apple sauce good. Doesn’t suck coming back up. Same with most soups. Avoid spicy, acids, and crunchy stuff. They’re all miserable coming back. Drink a LOT of water.

Scents will be a problem. Your sense of smell goes haywire and cranks up to 11. I’m practically noseblind and I could smell the apples in my kitchen from across the house. Normally this would be fun. During morning sickness, it means fun new ways to puke in exciting places. The smell difference between being inside and going outside is sometimes enough, and any of your trigger scents or flavors will get you reliably. Scented products are a hard no. Pack them away for now. You’ll want them later.

The hard part is that doing anything strenuous, like hanging out with friends or going to the grocery store, will make it worse for the days following. The exhaustion compounds. You absolutely can’t borrow from tomorrow’s spoons and trying to push yourself will just lead to being even worse off the next day. You HAVE to rest. It’s not optional and your body will enforce it on you.

It does help to get an essential oil you like and wear it in a diffuser. I used lavender, but any smell you like and which doesn’t smell like death to you will work. Make sure it isn’t touching skin. A lot of oils are caustic, and some are toxic.

Other than that, just try to ride it out. It doesn’t last.

Body changes:

It starts out slow and then lingers. You’ll feel like you should be showing way before you are, but once you hit your second trimester, it’s very obvious you’re pregnant, and one you hit the third trimester they can probably see you from space. You waddle. Your coordination goes down the tubes, you’re hot all the time, thirsty and hungry all the time, and exhausted a lot of the time.

You will also stink. Your BO will spike with your hormones and unfortunately, you will absolutely not want to bathe until the third trimester, when you want to be in the water all the time.

Your hair will, however, be awesome. Preggo hair is a thing. So is post-partum shedding, so be ready to shed more than three long-hair cats. It’s a thing. Unfortunately this does include your body hair, which will grow fast and thick. If it bothers you, you’re gonna be shaving a lot.

Here’s where it gets TMI, but if you’re writing a pregnant character or you’re pregnant/want to get pregnant yourself, you gotta know. There will be itching. You will not be able to shave your undercarriage at all after a certain point, so if it matters that much, you’ll need help. Your cooch will also smell different. Weird, but there it is.

Being in water helps immensely I spent a lot of my pregnancy in the bath and I strongly credit that for helping to support my back and ribs, which were not thrilled about the temporary tenant. It also helps with the ‘ugh I’m heavy’ complaint. Spend as much time in the water as you can, but remember not to let it get more than 100 degrees, or you can put Baby and yourself at risk. You have a lot more blood in your body right now. That makes for certain issues, such as fainting.

You will feel heavy. This is most notable during the third trimester, but when it becomes a problem, it really becomes a problem.

This is a problem because the only pain killer you’re allowed is Tylenol, and not much of that. If you’re in screaming pain, you can go totally hospital but they probably won’t give you anything for it. There’s a serious risk to your baby; and while they won’t prioritize the baby over you, you’re the one who is driving the bus, so they’re gonna make you obey the metaphorical traffic laws.

Labor:

Game day. You’ve been waiting for this for nine months and thank anything holy it’s finally here.

It starts as little flutters that kind of feel like gas, and you’ll probably be farting a fair bit anyway because you have a baby squishing your organs in every direction. After a while, it’ll start to feel more like cramping, and that’s when you know it’s game day. You start timing them at that point, and here’s where Hollywood starts messing up.

Labor is slow.

I was contracting for about ten hours before my water broke. If you’re pregnant, buy the adult diapers. Just do it. Put them on as soon as you realize you’re in labor. What comes out of you when your water breaks is foul. It’s not water. It’s slime, and it’s stinky. Sometimes it’s brown. It’s never something you want on anything you’re planning to keep. The diaper will contain it and you will be GLAD.

So ten hours in, my water broke. This is the sign that it’s not false labor. You’re ready to rock and roll.

This is also where my story differs from most.

Generally, when your water breaks, you’re about ten hours from pushing. Those ten hours will suck, but the nurses are mostly really nice and you can kick the mean ones out without repercussion. If you don’t vibe with one, switch tjem out. You don’t have to keep a nurse you don’t like.

The contractions will get stronger and they will get more painful. The nurses will call them “intense”. That’s bullcrap. It hurts. If you want medication, you have options. Ask for them freely and without shame.

Pushing is kind of a blur. You’ll be on so many endorphins and probably an epidural, that you’ll be in a haze. You push with the contractions for best effect. You’re gonna poop. This is good. Means you’re pushing right. You absolutely will not care in the moment.

It will feel like it’s not progressing at all, but your support people are gonna be on the ball and they’ll give you updates. If you have an epidural, it helps. If not, breathe through it and ride the endorphins. The worst part is when the head isn’t entirely through the cervix and everything is stretching a whole lot. Once the head is in the channel and you’re making progress, it gets easier.

It still hurts a whole lot, even with the meds, but you honestly won’t care because your whole body is designed to do this thing, and it’s GONNA do it at this point, whether you want to or not.

As soon as the head is out, the rest of the baby follows, and it sort of feels like you’ve been gutted. Things because you pretty much have. Birthing the placenta is entirely secondary to your tiny new baby and getting sewn up if you tear is uncomfortable, but after everything else, pretty negligible. Also, new baby!

Afterwards:

So, postpartum recovery sucks. All those endorphins are gone, you’re no longer on pain meds, and you just squeezed a baby through your cooch. You probably have stitches, and everything hurts. Walking is hard and without help, it’s also dangerous. You’re a fall risk. Do not try to hold your baby and walk at the same time unless you absolutely must. That’s what your birth support person is for. If you don’t have one, they’ll provide one.

Peeing hurts. Pooping is worse. You will be passing blood clots and your underwear (remember, get the adult diapers. They’re way better) will look like that scene from The Shining with the blood tsunami. This is all normal but it’s pretty horrifying.

They will give you various products to help with recovery. Some work better than others. Use all of them. The compound effects help.

It will be about three weeks before you feel like you can pee without it hurting. It’ll be closer to six before you can poop without worrying. Either way, there will be some major changes to your squishy parts.

Me specifically:

Remember how I mentioned my story was different? Yeah. So I was in labor for 62 hours, and pushed for five of those before my daughter was born.

For most of it, it was just waiting for my body to get into gear, and then when I wasn’t progressing, for the pitocin to kick in. I didn’t want to be on pitocin, but I wasn’t going to risk my baby, and labor that long comes with some real risks to mother and baby.

I did have both fentanyl (which for reasons of my messed up biology doesn’t affect me at all) and an epidural, which did help, but was hindered by my scoliosis. (Having a curve in your spine makes it hard to put the needle in the right place).

I could have had a c section, but I was very against it and since we were doing okay, despite it taking a long time, they let me have a vaginal birth.

This is not normal and is a product of my messed up biology. Your experience may differ.

Breastfeeding:

Okay babies do not come out of the uterus knowing how to do this. They’re really bad at latching at first and it will take a few tries to get them to latch. Even then, if they have a high palate or a tongue tie, they may struggle to latch.

Even so, breastfeeding really is an incredible feeling of knowing nature built you so right that you can keep your whole baby alive with just what your body makes for them.

This can make breastfeeding hard, and even if they have a good latch, it kind of sucks for a while as your nipples get used to nursing and your milk comes in. You’ll produce colostrum for the first few days, and that will slowly turn to milk over a week or so.

Baby will need to eat basically every hour for the first few weeks, then every two hours, but in greater amounts. As they get better at feeding, it gets easier, but there’s no shame in using formula as a support for your milk. The goal is to keep the baby alive.

Once you’re both used to it, you can even nap pretty well while you feed, especially once you’re in bed. Just make sure there’s absolutely no risk of dropping or rolling on top of the baby.

Your Baby:

Here’s the good part. Babies are awesome! They’re cute, they’re fun, and they’re deeply entertaining to mess with. Make sure you have a basket of toys for your baby, and let the good times roll, even when things are hard. They’ll only be this small once, The tiny baby clothes feel too small until you put them on. I’m keeping all of mine. I don’t know what I’ll use them for, but they’re too cute to get rid of.

[captainsaltymuyfancy2]

I’m not so sure about this post, I’m not really confident in any of it, it’s mostly just wild conjecture and aimless rambling. I’m open to discussion and to changing my mind, this is just what I’m thinking at the moment. Thank you to everyone cited for inspiration❤️

I’m really fascinated by what Jacob said about how the longevity of Louis and Armand’s relationship has led to both tenderness and resentment. The reasons why Louis might resent Armand are PLENTIFUL, but what possible reason would Armand have to resent Louis? Obviously it’s not going to be a “good” reason, but that makes it all the more delectable.

Right now I kind of have this theory that Armand resents Louis in part because he thinks Louis’ shows of affection are disingenuous. Put more accurately, his suspicion that Louis’ affection is disingenuous and his ensuing resentment underlie a deeper fear that Louis doesn’t love him.

HOWEVER, the kicker is that Louis does still feel some kind of affection for Armand. Just like he felt for Lestat when he and Claudia (mostly Claudia) were planning their escape, Louis feels some love for Armand still, but he’s able to leverage it in pursuit of his goal. What exactly this goal is remains to be seen (although I have some serious guesses…well mostly one guess).

Whatever it is, I think Louis has been planning very carefully for a long time to get to it. As @likethemodel points out here, their bed is literally a chessboard, like the one Claudia played in order to best Lestat and get under his skin in s1. The IWTV cast and crew have repeatedly describe the dynamics in Dubai as “3D chess”, and it doesn’t get much more 3D than using yourself as a chess piece. This is what the major question in Dubai is for me: not “did he fuck that old man” or “did Armand alter Louis’ memories”, but rather “What is Louis’ agenda, why has he brought all of these pieces together in this way?”

If my theory is correct, I think it would tie in nicely with the book. As @nativehueofresolution said in this post, Louis in the book does love Armand, but not in a way Armand understands at that point. If this was translated into the show, it could take the form of Louis still loving Armand in some way, like his few displays of affection such as kissing him in bed and squeezing/rubbing his shoulder during the interview being at least partly genuine, but also strategic.

So even though Louis’ affection in these gestures may be somewhat genuine, the context is still performative in order to accomplish a higher goal, though exactly what remains unclear. This much I think Armand can see and he resents, but I think he misinterprets it to mean Louis doesn’t love him at all. But the love is there and it is mutual to a degree, just not in a way Armand can see, which is kind of poetic justice and the absolute least he deserves.

Digressing a bit, even though Louis is being genuinely affectionate at times, even if it was totally without ulterior motives, it still could never be enough for Armand, because what he views as love is simply not something Louis can give.

In an interview posted here by @diasdelfuego, Hannah Moscovitch says she thinks that “Armand is Louis’ creature”, and agreed with the interviewer that Armand “serves a god” in his relationship with Louis. I interpreted this to mean that Armand has *made himself* into Louis’ creature, Louis’ disciple. And like Judas in the artwork in their bedroom (post also courtesy of @diasdelfuego), Armand becomes resentful and thinks Louis doesn’t love him because Louis doesn’t treat him the way Armand thinks a disciple should be treated.

The problem (well, one of MANY) is that this dynamic Armand has tried to create pretty much dooms him to never get back the kind of love he wants from Louis right now. In deciding he ‘serves a god’, Armand has made it impossible for Louis to love him in the way Armand craves, because Louis is not a god. Armand has made himself a disciple to a god that doesn’t exist, and feels betrayed when that nonexistent god doesn’t respond to his worship. Again, it’s poetic justice, but only the very tip of what he deserves. Lukewarm justice.

It’s surely not lost on Louis how stupid (more accurately, hypocritical and insulting) it is that Armand worships him like a god, and yet Armand himself holds godlike power over Louis’ life. A disciple does not control a god, and Louis knows this, he’s chronically Catholic. He knows the control Armand has over him, and I think this interview is partly a way for him to circumvent that power. Armand’s attempts to manipulate and “protect” Louis doom his quest for all-consuming devotion even more. I love messy bitches who create their own problems.

The god-worship is probably one aspect of Louis’ resentment toward Armand, but again this is something that’s so deeply, painfully layered. Between forcing Louis to turn Madeleine and killing Claudia (assuming, as most of us are, that the show is following the book in this way), the depth of Louis’ resentment for Armand is abyssal. Which would make the fact that Louis does still love him (per my aforementioned theory) even more shocking and scrumptious, and his plotting all the more emotionally difficult.

[bad268]

Tweets Pt. 2 (Colby Brock X Actor! Reader)

Fandom: RPF/Sam and Colby & Co

Requested: Yee by @richardsamboramylove55

Warnings: None

POV: First Person (I/me/They/them)

W.C. 1533

Summary: Maybe the date didn't go as planned, but it worked.

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

<- Part 1

~~(^@/Colby's insta from November 16, 2023)

So, the plan was mini golfing. That’s not what actually transpired after we left the house. Sam practically shoved us out of the house after the meeting before shouting at us to be safe (and throwing a wink at Colby who brushed it off with a laugh). However, as soon as Colby pulled out onto the freeway, it started pouring. That’s the joy of living in a desert. Sure, I knew it was going to rain a bit, but I should have known it was going to turn into a full monsoon. 

That put a little damper on our plans. Either way, neither of us were against a change in plans. It just meant we had to alter it a little.

“I spy with my little eye,” I dragged out as I looked around the scenery to find something, anything, I could see clearly enough to use for the game, “Something…something wet.”

“Everything?” Colby chuckled as he briefly looked my way before putting his eyes back on the road. There were not a lot of cars on the road, but it was still dangerous because of the rain. At this point, he had decided to get off the freeway and decided to just drive around surface streets until either of us found somewhere we wanted to stop. 

“No way! How did you guess that?” I gasped mockingly as I leaned into his side over the console and wrapped an arm around his arm. He had it resting against the gear stick, and when I leaned in, he moved it to rest against my leg as we intertwined our hands. We sat in a comfortable silence for a second before I looked at his profile and whispered, “Is this alright?”

“If you’re comfortable, I’m good,” Colby said in the same tone as he rubbed his thumb across my knuckles. “Are you seeing anywhere you want to stop?”

“Not exactly,” I chuckled, pulling away a little to look out the window while keeping my hand in his. He drove on for a couple more minutes before I saw the sign of one of my favorite diners, so I pointed it out. “That’s one of my favorites! Wanna go there?”

“Works for me,” Colby smiled at my enthusiasm as he pulled into the lot and a parking spot closest to the door. When he shut off the car, he immediately opened his door and ran around the car to hold my door open for me. He had his jacket off as he held it over my head, covering it from the rain. I stepped out, quickly pressing myself against him, so we could both fit under the makeshift umbrella.

The diner itself was not busy at all. There were maybe a couple of people there and a single waitress. It made for a perfect place to stop. We got seated by the window, and we looked over the menus. I already knew what I wanted since I came here a lot when I was younger, but Colby took a couple extra minutes to really contemplate his options.

“I’ll tell you, this is the best thing here,” I said as I pointed at one of the items on the menu. It wasn’t my go-to order, but it was still a top choice, and the friends I recommended it to seemed to really enjoy it. 

“I guess that’s what I’ll get if you recommend it,” Colby flirted shamelessly as he set his menu down and grabbed my hand from across the table. “So what do you wanna talk about?” “I wanna talk about how you’re a simp,” I chuckled as I hid my face behind a hand. “I mean, using your jacket as a cover, ordering what I recommend, what’s next? Are you gonna take me out dancing in the rain when we’re done?”

“If that’s what you wanna do,” Colby teased, only half serious but he was down to go with the flow. He didn’t even realize he was coming across like that. It was just his nature to be nice like that, and he hadn’t been to the diner before. Everything just sounded good to him, so he had no problem with trying something recommended. “And who said being a simp was a bad thing?”

“I never said it was,” I said simply with a smirk when the waitress came over and took our orders before taking them to the kitchen quickly. “So, what do people usually talk about on dates? I haven’t been on one in a while.”

“What are your hobbies? What are your aspirations? Where do you see yourself in five years? Do you want kids?” Colby dragged on in a mocking tone, causing me to laugh with him. “Usually that kind of stuff, but while I do what to know about that, I think we just let the conversation flow normally.”

“Valid point,” I said with a nod. “Well, acting is one, obviously, but not a lot of people would think I like (hobby).”

“No way,” Colby gasped before tilting his head, “Actually, I can see it.”

“Aspirations, I want an Oscar one day,” I said as I got a little lost in my head. It was true, but then again, every actor dreamed of getting an Oscar. “In five years, maybe I’m still acting. Maybe not. I do see myself with a house by then, maybe settling down, but it’s always up in the air with this kind of profession.”

“I get that. It’s the same here,” Colby agreed. “I thought Sam and I were gonna stay in California for longer, but there just seemed to be better opportunities in Vegas. Not exactly what I envisioned, but it worked out for the better, I think.”

“I totally agree. As for a family, I see myself with pets first,” I laughed. “I never pictured myself with kids, but I guess if I met the right person, I’d consider it.”

“You would consider it?” Colby chuckled. “I thought in an interview you said you dreamed of being a parent?”

“A dog/cat parent,” I clarified. “I am still in my 20s! I wanna live while I’m young! Not that kids wouldn’t be fun, but I am still a child at heart. I don’t think I’d be a good parent right now.”

“At least you’re aware of your limits,” Colby commended.

“Thank you,” I said seriously. “You’d be surprised how many dates ended that quickly because I said my position on a family. Most guys don’t want to ever try a relationship unless you are already on board with the idea.”

“No, that’s so stupid! It’s a team, and it’s gotta be a mutual decision based on mutual goals,” Colby ranted. “Any guy you’ve gone out that said that, point them out and I’ll punch them.”

“Oh, please do,” I sighed with a smile. Colby looked up shocked that I would willingly let him punch my exs faces. He probably expected me to deny it or try to steer the conversation away. “It’s not like it’s a big deal anymore. They’re in the past for a reason. I’m focusing on the future now.”

“We’ll, would you see more of me in your future?” Colby asked slowly, almost testing the waters.

“Absolutely,” I answered immediately. “I have really enjoyed hanging out and getting to know you, and it’s reassuring we are pretty much on the same page in most things. I also don’t think I’ve ever clicked this easily with someone before.”

“Glad to hear it,” Colby smiled as the waitress came back before he stopped her, “Actually could we get these to go?”

“What?” I asked, confused about where he was going with this.

“Why don’t we go driving around some more? The rain is letting up a bit, and I’ve got a super secret place we could eat at,” Colby explained as the waitress left and came back with the food in boxes. Colby handed her a couple of twenties, told her to keep the change, and stood up to leave. 

When we got into the car, I took over the music, playing some quiet music as we continued our already flowing conversation. It did not take long before Colby pulled into a parking lot, and that’s when I looked out of the window to see we were at a mountainside. The view of the city was gorgeous. The lights were breathtaking and with the water reflecting, it made the view that much better. It took a few minutes of me lost in thought before I looked over to Colby, seeing him already staring at me.

“What are you looking at?” I chuckled lightly, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

“Just the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen,” He whispered as he leaned in slowly, and it was like time slowed. Without even realizing it, I started leaning in as well, but right before we connected, he stopped. He was so close, I could feel his breath against my lips. It almost made me want to just pull him in. That’s when he whispered, “Can I kiss you?”

“Always,” I replied in the same tone before our lips crashed together for the first of many times.

~~~~~

© BAD268 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

[inkwell-intermission]

haha hey. you should share your droog autism headcanons :]

ALRIGHTY: DROOG AUTISM HEADCANONS.

I've previously stated that my Droog has autism and I will elaborate below. He has sensory issues and sensitivities, difficulty emoting and recognizing his feelings (alexithymia), has difficulty socializing and connecting with others, and a very monotone speech pattern. He is also DEEPLY uncute about it and reacts to difficulties by removing himself from a situation or becoming agitated or aggressive- he has very little interested in adapting or overcoming anything.

There's more to it, but overall, he has "committed to the bit" in a sense. Oh, he doesn't make eye contact? Obviously it's because he doesn't believe you're worth his time to look at or the respect it would imply. He doesn't want to talk to someone? He's too cool to have a conversation- especially about anything outside of a narrow list of interests he's interested in chatting about. Won't eat at a new restaurant? He's a loyal regular at his usual places, and nothing could be better than them, so why bother, it's not because he can't imagine trying new foods that he hasn't already decided he likes, or new people who don't already understand his particular likes and dislikes- He might have to actually explain himself instead of simply knowing he's understood. He only wears very specific clothes and adheres closely to certain fashions? That's simply the best kind of clothes to wear, nothing else!

He has a lot of texture sensitivities that come through in his clothes and the fit of them. His clothing is all tailored a specific way, possibly not even the "best" way to fit him, but the only way he can tolerate. He has very specific requirements for the clothing he wears and the fabric used and he prefers to work with a specific tailor every time who knows exactly what he wants, and has no problems with all his demands and alterations. In this case I do mean Stitch, who does usually get paid, not lavishly, but paid.

He hates bright light, although he isn't unique in this, as a good amount of Dersites find it pretty insufferable. Loud environments can also make him… itchy. There's that joke about the "insert guy doing thing here" "don't worry he's stimming", and that's kind of Droog in a nutshell but with physical violence. Break something, hit someone, destroy property, whatever it is he can do. He likes bludgeoning best in hand-to-hand combat, compared to Slick's preference for blades- although his hitcher does fine as well. Droog simply doesn't want to bother with a knife or that kind of finesse- he just wants to beat someone as badly as possible as hard as possible until he feels better, and he does.

He's pretty sensitive to certain things including dust and other particles in the air and on surfaces and takes cleaning very seriously. He's a very lazy person who doesn't buy into the idea of doing things for others much of the time, so he won't clean anything he doesn't use or touch. He has a schedule for dry cleanings, laundry, dusting, and other things, and keeps to it out of habit. He despises spontaneity and earnestly plans out his day in advance, and may take any distractions from that plan badly and violently. Although he always has time to shirk paperwork or ignore something only half-important that Slick is trying to tell him.

Droog is capable of cooking, but rarely does, because he doesn't like to cook for anyone else, and is specific enough with instructions and recipes that it gets on everyone else's nerves to watch. At least he leaves the counter surfaces clean, even if he won't do the dishes afterwards. He doesn't eat that much, to be honest, compared to what he should be, and not exactly nutritiously. Most of his meals are very heavy, and he doesn't particularly go for vegetables, although he will eat them cooked. Anything crunchy kind of makes him twitchy because the noise draws attention and he doesn't like being seen eating. Or chewing. Or enjoying food. He usually wants his food with meat involved, regardless of the other contents, and is picky about seafood, but eats it. Notably, no crustaceans. But if he gets something caught in his teeth he will literally make Slick pull over so he can step inside somewhere to get it out under penalty of property or personal damages.

He's got very specific special interests- fabrics, men's fashion- women's fashion, although he doesn't talk about it much and doesn't like talking to women particularly (although he doesn't usually talk to anyone if he can help it), he knows too much about alcohol, the process of making alcohol, cigarettes, making your own cigarettes, interior decorating, and firearms. There may be a few others, but he's essentially very into stereotypical masculine things, for the most part.

He hates explaining anything. In a perfect world, everyone around him would simply understand exactly what he wants without needing to make eye contact with him or ask him questions in any way. He's very oriented around himself- yes he is selfish, a bit vain, and somewhat self-obsessed, but those are all far less relevant details- the way he views the world is simply through a very singular lens, and he's leaned into how easy it is for him to dissociate from his empathy and compassion. He hates overwhelming feelings, and if he indulges his emotions to a certain degree they can become overwhelming, and he cannot beat his own feelings to death unfortunately. So he doesn't do that. He keeps it all inside him somewhere buried under a rock and one day he will die and that'll take care of them.

He's a customer service nightmare. If you ask him questions about what he wants its like pulling teeth. But he can ask all the questions he wants. His flat tone makes it really hard to notice when he's asking a question instead of just stating a fact, and he treats both the same way, so he's a pain in the ass to navigate around. His saving grace is that he doesn't care about the temperaments of employees. The product quality is what matters to him- although if the electric lights are too loud in the store he might leave. Or break them.

He exclusively smokes cigarettes and drinks hard liquor and is hard pressed to drink beer or anything fruity, and he's never tried any other kind of recreational or illicit substance. This is a man who has never been high. The most he's ever done is a light trip during exile thanks to accidental mushroom ingestion with the rest of the crew and he didn't like it.

He was the most miserable man alive during exile, I will be very clear. His name was Detached Derelict. He hates sand, and hates wearing wrappings, there are too many places for debris to get in. He couldn't be as lazy as he liked, felt too exposed, had inconsistent access to food and a schedule- overall, it made him very irritable and prone to violent outbursts. Killing things for food was one of the only things that helped him feel any better. If he let himself think about it, he'd probably be thankful about how accommodating the crew was to him, in dealing with his cursing, pickiness and overall downer mood. He always was very fastidious with his hygiene and grooming himself. Also, despite his propensity towards violence and relative comfort in killing other carapacians he is entirely unwilling to engage in cannibalism and would be the most likely to refuse it even as a last resort, preferring to starve, which the other three would likely cave to and partake in- and that's not really a good thing as much as it is simply a hill he would literally die on for non-moral reasons of psychological discomfort and general food preferences!

His connection with Pickle Inspector is somewhat related to both of their autism as well, and he has a really psychosexual intense fixation on PI. Both of them are reclusive, resistant to interpersonal connections have very specific interests that they prioritize over all others, think in very "singular" mindsets through the lens of their own experiences, and are both intelligent and skilled in their own ways. Droog can see that in him and little shades of himself in him. In some ways they have special interests in one another. The biggest difference is that the way Droog's autism manifests and his particular special interests are more acceptable- such as hard liquor and firearms as a man, and he feels unable to dress in a way that isn't presentable, where PI has a harder time keeping up with his own personal hygiene in a way that makes him fit the social standard a bit less. In the end both are autistic and behave in ways that ostracize them from others, outside of their professions. Last think I'll add about him is his contamination-based issues. He hates being sick more than anything and will do almost anything to avoid it. He hates insects, household pests, mold and dirt, anything like that. He's been known to walk around with disinfectant and a lighter in an effort to execute any bugs that get into the hideout or anywhere else he can find. He only tolerates spiders and cobwebs, and it's barely, because of his patron, which is one. He hates to feel dirty or scratched up and will buff scratches out of his shell within hours of getting them. If clothing he wears is sullied with someone else's blood there's a good chance he'll have Stitch make him a new suit from scratch. The blood of anyone he's close to is also tolerated, specifically the Midnight Crew and PI's, but not the Felt or the Inspector's colleagues. To be honest though Stitch is so good at getting leprechaun blood out of clothing at this point it's really hard to tell it was ever there. Overall, a very consistent man. Consistently dressed, consistently irritable and violent, consistently groomed, etc. The picture is pretty clear.

note: Deadeye Detective is also autistic, but tolerates discomfort far better and reacts with less hostility, so much of what applies to Droog applies to him, but pulled back a few notches almost universally. second note: Also it might be more than autism that he has but I only have autism so I'm not speaking outside of that much he just copes with his autism really really intensely. Could be other things too though. would not be surprised

[amber-laughs]

Hii!

I was thinking here and had nobody to share, so what do you think Jon's relationship with his siblings, or rather, cousins ahaha, will be like after they reunite? Do you have any headcanons? Arya and Jon? Click right away as before or nah? Bran and Jon? Jon and Sansa? Jon and Rickon (at some point)?

Sorry for the ask, I'm just like bored :)

Please come to me with all your bored questions I love answering them! I wanna start off by saying I don't think Jon will be as devoid of emotion as some people theorize he will be. We have two cases of resurrection but they are very different scenarios than Jon's. First Catelyn to Lady Stoneheart: Cat went mad before she was killed, her mind was already heavily altered in her final moments then her spirit was seemingly sifting about aimlessly until Beric brought her back. Beric has been resurrected six times and he says it take a toll on him every time and theres less of himself each time, meaning his memory was nowhere near as bad the first time it happened. But most importantly neither of these characters are wargs like Jon is. Jon's spirit will be in Ghost who is spiritually and mentally linked to him which I think will be a saving grace. I don't mean to say Jon will have no change but he most certainly will not be a walking zombie, he will still be able to have heartfelt connections with the people around him in my opinion. So:

Arya and Jon: I think that Arya will hear about Jon's death before she gets back to Westeros and it will absolutely devastate her which will make their reunion all the more touching. Jon thought she was dead until ADWD and I assume will think she's dead again if he learns about the Jeyne Pool switch so I think their reunion will be one of relief. I've made a post about this before but Arya thinks she knows who Jon's mother is right now, Edric Dayne told her it was Wylla the Wetnurse and she explicitly says she can't wait to tell Jon. I think this will go one of two ways: Jon will finally be at peace to know the truth and then BOOM! he finds out the The Truth or he'll know about Rhaegar and Lyanna before hand and have to decide if he's going to lie to Arya and the rest of his siblings. I think the R+L=J situation will create a bit of a rift between them because it will feel like a severed bond but I imagine they'll heal that by the end.

Sansa and Jon: I think Littlefinger is going to massively get in the way of this dynamic. Littlefinger wants Sansa to have the North. Jon is Robb's named heir which throws a wrench in those plans. Not only that but George has said Littlefinger gets confused when it comes to Sansa, sometimes she's his daughter with Cat he never had and sometimes she is Catelyn. Grrm called Sansa Petyr's teenage fantasy that's come back and when you have mini Ned Stark walking around the halls that will cause problems on top of the fact that LF will definitely be sniffing around trying to find out who Jon's mother is. He'll try to cause as many problems as possible for them I think. That being said I think Jon and Sansa are a now more alike than ever not only has Sansa experienced being a bastard but Jon has experienced his first love and having that torn away from him. Jon went North essentially wanting to be a great knight and finding out Castle Black is not what he heard in the songs and stories just like Sansa when she went South. I think LF will be their main issue along with some tension over Sansa feeling like Robb sidelined her for Jon and I'm not exactly sure how or where it'll end up but I'm excited (I do not under any circumstances believe that they'll be romantically involved)

Jon and Bran: I know this is gonna sound weird because Bran is only 9 but I see their relationship becoming a little co-worker like. Bran will know all about the Others by the time they meet up and Jon and him will spend a good chunk of time trading information I think. On top of that I think Bran will end up becoming something of a warging teacher to Jon the way Jojen was to him. I don't think I believe that Bran will be the one to reveal R+L=J to him, I think that'll be left to Howland.

Jon and Rickon: Personally I see Rickon dying before he reunites with Jon. If that doesn't happen I'll be curious to know if Rickon remembers him. There's a section in the Cushings Draft of Feast for Crows where Ghost can sense Rickon and Shaggydog in Skagos I know it was deleted so that sort of nullifies it but we know Summer senses the other wolves and like I said with Jon's memories staying safe in Ghost I wonder if the direwolves' connections will have an effect on Rickon being able to remember his siblings despite his age. I personally think that he will remember them if he lives because narratively I don't really see a reason for him to not, I mean I know logically he was 3 when Jon left but he's only 5 now its not much of a stretch.

But to give an overall base answer yes, I think all of them will click right away with love, relief and familiarity but that the problems above will come down the line and can't be swept under the rug

[lineffability]

some thoughts on Aziraphale, the Metatron and performances

i do think we're maybe all underestimating aziraphale just a bit when it comes to the whole 'happy in heaven, let's go and do good' spiel. i DO think he believes in some fundamental goodness in heaven despite all their obvious, glaring moral failings and problems, and i DO believe he wants crowley with him more than anything (and, misguidedly, that a part of crowley would want to go back)

BUT i also think that there is a lot more going on underneath the surface. he might wear his heart on his sleeve most of the time but we have seen that when it counts he can be really really good at magic tricks (makes that flashback all the more relevant, too), at repressing his true feelings, at building walls around himself and hiding behind a facade of smiles and optimism.

the Metatron might not be the only one performing; him and Aziraphale are certainly both on edge. think of the coffee scene, az being overwhelmed and reluctant, he is not necessarily buying the Nice Old Man act--but he is not sure about it being fake, either. maybe the metatron is nice, he can't tell, he is overwhelmed and accepts the coffee. he wants to believe that this Very High Being, the voice of god, is good. if he isn't--what then? his beliefs have been crumbling around him already, and he is scared. and then meta removes him from the bookshop, from crowley, and they talk.

Az is extremely flustered when he tries to tell crowley about the metatron's offer, a bit too much--coupled with off-the-charts-nervosity and the glimpses of Expressions of Dread on his face when he turns away from Metatrash before he goes back into the bookshop to talk to crowley, i'm starting to be quite sure that the very obvious threat lingering underneath metatron's words did not go unnoticed at all; he saw the nice kind old man smile but he heard him saying "i've gone back over your exploits", i know exactly what you've been doing these millenia, you can fool the archangels but you can't fool me, i have access to Time/History/Reality in a different way. i know everything you did. and then the threat about not allowing the two of them to work togther anymore in the future, if he stays on earth. i think aziraphale knows right then and there that he has no choice at all. (this is why he so desperately wants crowley to come with him, because he can't stay) (i do believe that he truly thinks, though, that they would let crowley back into heaven-- which i think was a total ruse, a complete lie based on the knowledge that crowley would not accept the offer)

and he knows that metatron is just outside the bookshop, waiting. now don't get me wrong, i'm not saying he acted the whole thing, the conversation he and crowley had was very real, because az was counting on crowley to come with him--because if one thing has been true over all these milennia, it's that crowley always caves in. no matter what, he comes back, he apologizes, he refuses first and accepts finally, he stays by his side, he would never leave aziraphale. right?

in this moment az needs to believe two things: 1 crowley will come with him and 2 he can do Good in heaven, they can change things together. and this is not only naiveté (though to some extent it surely is) but calculation, as well. i can't get out of this. my only choice is to rejoin heaven and play along. maybe if i'm there, if i have a seat at the divine table and can learn about heaven's plans, maybe i can thwart them, if need be. i do think az is not going in blindly, i do think he knows to some extent what awaits him, but he also truly believes that maybe he can alter things, in some way (he could, surely, with crowley. crowley always has the best ideas. i need you. )

but when crowley refuses he can't tell him there is something bad going on. i need to do this, even if i dont want to. they are not alone. he can only say i need you with me. please. but crowley is in too much pain, he feels betrayed, because he did not hear come with me but to heaven, and the shock of it runs deep

so az IS also heartbrken and angry and betrayed. and then, after the Revelation, in shock. the journey on his face was longer than the ride up to heaven jfc. and then it settles on a smile that does not reach his eyes. oh, he's really in it now. he contains multitudes and paradoxes aghhhh but yeah tl;dr aziraphale loves to be a happy trusting ray of sunshine because he chooses to be, but he is not stupid. he's doing the best he can.

there will be a second coming not only for jesus 2.0 but for his and crowley's relationship as well!! let's believe in him!!! im disinegrating i need to stop now

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

to find: 🤖📚

AITA for writing a fanfiction with the help of Character AI?

For those who don’t know, Character AI (character.ai) is a site where anyone can make AI personalities of characters (original or existing) and train them for chats/roleplay/advice/etc.

When I first joined the site, I found that someone had made an AI of a character I liked. I have spent many hours roleplaying with this character and probably contributed a LOT to its training with my feedback.

Recently, I did a super long roleplay with it including other characters from the original media (played by me) and when it was over I really wanted to turn it into a fic. I chose all of the settings and situations, most of the actions, wrote all of the dialogue for several characters, and prompted dialogue I liked from the one AI character. When I finished polishing it and editing it to my liking, I published it to AO3.

I’m not a popular fanfiction author or anything, this was literally my second fic, and the first one was on another account. But because the fic was for a semi-small fandom, it kind of blew up and then people started getting mad when they noticed I mentioned I had written it with the help of AI, even after I explained exactly what I had done. They said I was contributing to the “theft” of other people’s work (even though, at least for me, writing is just taking bits from other works and reshaping and altering them to my own ideas) by using AI.

Personally, I don’t think I’m the asshole because I just used it to write one character’s dialogue that I edited anyway? And I wrote the rest of the fic completely by myself and played all the other characters. Not only that, but the whole plot, settings, interactions, etc. were all planned by me. But I also feel kind of bad because I guess this contributes to the AI art problem? I fed it my own writing and it probably took stuff from that and other places to base responses on. I don’t know.

I took the fic down for now, and I know this is kind of a silly issue, but I just wanted to see what the general opinion was. So, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[typicalopposite]

Clipboard proposal (turned clipboard wedding I guess) part 3.3

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3.1 | Part 3.2 | AO3

(Getting sappy on both sides of the alter with this one)

If they thought Clipboard!Buck was bad… Clipboard!Buckette is ten times worse! She is efficient and no nonsense and will absolutely not take no for an answer. Something goes wrong, never fear big sister is here… At least that’s what Chimney and Hen teasingly say each time she swoops in to come up with a solution to every problem they run into.

When they realize the only way to get everyone there is to have it at a beach in California, she shrugs and makes the necessary changes. “Yeah well fireflies don’t exactly live here, Maddie…” Chimney says when he sees she still has that incorporated in the set up.

“Then I guess I’ll have to bring in the 118 with strobe lights strapped to their butts,” she deadpans. When Chimney doesn’t respond she pulls out the postcard and taps her pen to it. “Magical dream wedding, Chim.”

He supposes he can’t blame her too much. Each time Buck’s face lights up when a little bit more of it comes together., all the micromanaging, seems worth it. And if that includes strapping a strobe light to his butts and running circles around the grooms when the day comes… it’s a small price, right?

Slowly but surely Maddie gets it together. The spot is reserved on a private beautiful beach, the catering is scheduled, photographers booked, chairs and tables and decorations ready to be set up. She sits with a Buck and goes through the checklist. “Wow, Mads…” he says softly. “It’s perfect— it’s really going to be perfect!”

“You think?” She asks, going through everything once more. “Everything is just like you wanted, right?”

Buck takes her hand and smiles. “Everything is better,” he says. “There’s just… one more thing.” Maddie takes out her pen ready to write down his request. Buck laughs, “All I I need for this is a yes or no.” He swallows; he knows he shouldn’t be — he know she will probably be honored by what he’s going to ask — but he is nervous to ask anyway. “All my life the biggest constant in my life… has been you. Even when I was mad at you, and thought you had abandoned me… you were still rooting for me.”

Maddie laughs, she has to or she’s going to cry. “That’s what big sisters are for…”

Buck squeezes her hand and shakes his head. “Yeah but you have always been more than just my big sister. You’ve been a friend, and- and you’ve been a parent…” he clears his throat before he starts crying. “Anyway… I know we had decided to just skip the walk, but Tommy actually told me he wants it— wants me to walk down to him.”

And that is enough to have Maddie clutching at her chest, her bottom lip poking out and she is desperately trying to hold it together. “That is so sweet oh my god.”

Buck feels a blush creeping up. “I know, he’s a big sap,” he laughs. “So… I already talked to mom and dad about this, and they are completely on board—” he takes a deep breath and clutches Maddie’s hand. “—with you walking me down the aisle.”

***

Chimney’s involvement in the wedding is a lot less hectic. He wasn’t lying when he said he was taking on the bachelor party.

He doesn’t bring it up much because he knows it’s still a sore spot for Buck. But he has plans and it is going to be epic.

And said plans include giving Buckaroo the themed party he had so desperately wanted to throw Chimney. He has already talked to everyone invited, they all agreed to participate this time. (“Hey I participated last time!” Eddie had argued)

And if Chimney plans to be just a little petty with it by making the theme classic movies, so everyone can talk in famous quotes Buck won’t understand… just for the fun of it… that’s between Chimney and Buck’s clipboard.

“So who are you going as?” Chimney asks Tommy; it has been a while since the two got to go out, just the two of them, for beers. “And don’t say some guy in a Henley!”

Tommy nearly spits out his beer; “He told you about that.”

“More like he pouted for weeks about that, yes.”

“Well, I didn’t realize how serious he was about it… not until I got there anyway.” Tommy sighs and takes another sip of his beer; they sit quietly for a while. “He really gives everything his all.”

“That why you let him make all the wedding decisions?”

Tommy shrugs. “As long as I get to marry him in the end that’s all I care about.”

“Maddie says you haven’t chosen anyone for your side of the wedding party. Not even a best man.”

Another shrug. “Don’t really have anyone to ask that’s not already involved in the wedding. I— uh— I was going to ask— well, you actually, but—”

“What?! But nothing! Heck yeah I’d do it!” Chimney says face lighting up.

“Really?”

“I was getting a little upset you hadn’t asked to be honest,” Chimney laughs. “What more does a guy have to do beyond save your life. I’d be honored, man.”

Tommy looks a little misty eyed, he isn’t exactly sure what to say so he settles for; “Thanks Howie.”

Chimney smiles. “So how about the terminator?”

“I actually do a pretty good terminator.” Tommy laughs, and takes another sip of his beer.

(Ok there! Part three is done! And *whew* I didn’t mean for it to be so long! But next I guess is the Wedding. Maybe I can keep it short and sweet and figure it out before they are canonically married!)

[archduke-enver-gortash]

gortash 1, 6, 7

zeke 3, 4, 5

<3

(hi! i realised i had this finished but it was rotting in my drafts so i’m gonna queue this for my short absence lol.) i mean. gortash isn’t an oc but sure why not lol. you can always send me asks about him actually <3

1. What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

just sitting still? not a problem. his problem comes with finding something like this to be an utterly wasteful way to spend your time. i think even when he gets done with work for the day earlier than planned (which doesn’t happen often because his plans are so meticulous. usually some incident like someone he was meeting with unexpectedly not being able to attend was the cause here which he. doesn’t like because interruptions in schedule bad lol) he usually finds some other way to be productive. (like spending time in his workshop or drawing for example.)

but uh. how long would he be able to sit still? if a plan of his for some reason required him to sit still and do nothing for a fucking week, he’d gnash his teeth about it but he’d be able to do that and much more—everything that’s necessary will be done. otherwise? you absolutely will not catch him just lounging around lmao.

6. Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?

definitely immovable 100%. there’s just a teeny tiny problem with this—this applies to his system only, his way of viewing the world, his values and laws for himself and the laws and values he inherently imposes on others. he considers himself a man who does whatever is necessary, and more importantly the only one who is capable of actually deciding on and carrying out order. judge, jury and executioner, y’know. his word is law and his word is what he will stick to until the very end and everyone else better follow suit if they don’t want to be mentally branded as a mistake by him lol. i think he sees it as there being a universal way the world should work, which is the system of the machine with him as the core, it’s just everyone else that doesn’t see this ‘truth’ at the moment & needs fixing.

7. What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

to me, gortash is a man of the future. yes, he does so enjoy taking his trophies from past conquests and yes, he does not forget the past, dissecting and learning is a process that includes his past as well as others’ he so loves to dissect and use in his schemes, but i simply don’t see him as someone who would ever wallow in feelings like nostalgia. it’s not even that he doesn’t want to, he just doesn’t experience it in the first place.

to sort of illustrate what i mean: i think he definitely remembers his coronation to become archduke as a grand stepping stone in his plan and all, but that’s what being a man of the future and baldur’s gate’s saviour means, it’s exactly that—a stepping stone for more. he won’t simply rest on the steps now when he has so many more to climb. and when you’re at the top of the stairs, there is no need to look back either.

3. How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

not at all uhhhhhh. only joking. well. only half-joking? zeke, due to his paranoia about everything surrounding gortash, the nightmares that result from that & just his nature as someone who never fucking stops being on his feet, has insane troubles sleeping. with his severe malnutrition and lack of sleep just result in the biggest eye bags known to man. more like eye trenches or whatever.

anyways, the solution is just uhm. going so hard until he eventually passes out and then repeat that process. 😬. later on when he does finally trust his companions enough to eat a bit around them, shadowheart laces his food with a sleeping potion because she hasn’t seen him rest for more than half an hour consecutively and he understandably gets triggered (gortash never put mind-altering drugs into zeke’s food, stuff made him sick for example was what was commonly used instead, because he needs him to be aware of his own suffering to enjoy it, but. still.) because of it. so. not ideal.

4. How easy is it to earn their trust? & 5. How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

i’m just gonna combine these into one bigger answer hope that’s okay 👍 so, every single thing starts out with lots of mistrust from zeke lmao. and yes, i don’t just mean every person, i mean everything, even objects he has never seen before or shit like that. but there’s still multiple levels of mistrust, there’s again the basic mistrust everyone gets, and then there’s mistrust as in ‘you’ve given me a sign (and this truly might be fucking nothing. it most often is nothing. this boy is insane) that you’re working for gortash and i am now immediately killing you’ 😬 and then there’s of course the ‘AAAAHHHHHH WHAT ARE YOU’ level exclusively reserved for mr gortash himself.

to gain his trust, you have to approach it a little bit like you would with a feral kitten except a lot more careful because this thing can actually kill you before you even know that he went for the killing blow if you do something wrong. you have to essentially let him sniff you out, sometimes metaphorically and sometimes literally, assure him that you’re not a threat to him. no sudden movements, loud noises or other similar actions and you’ll be good. he’ll still be on high alert, but is out of ‘kill once it gets within 10 metres’ mode lmao. and that’s basically it. building trust with him is an extremely slow, hard & painful (most often for the party that isn’t zeke) process and honestly? it’s not worth it considering YOU can never fully trust him not to suddenly feel his entire being scream to hunt & kill you. i’ve made this comparison before but it’s essentially like one of those people on taking an animal like a lynx or a chimpanzee into their home. they’ll probably get used to you and maybe even trust you, but they’re still wild animals at the end of the day. wild animals who can and will, if you’re not careful, severely hurt or even kill you if. zeke is the wild and the wild is zeke and all haha.

the methods to earn his trust and mistrust are both not very complex, but while earning his trust is a slow, never sure and stable thing, earning his mistrust is quick and very, very easy in comparison. once again, just one sign that you’re a threat, one wrong movement at the wrong time and you’re out. and this behaviour is just his base instincts as the apex predator and all. like how i described earlier, zeke also has SO many gortash related triggers on top of all that already. for example, telling him that his eyes are beautiful! they just are objectively extraordinary, so you most likely just want to genuinely compliment him! it’s rough. zeke is awful. end essay.

[sheliesshattered]

I ended up spending most of yesterday fixing some fit issues with the scrappy sweatshirt -- which has somehow morphed into the Jyn Erso Sweatshirt in my mind, between the color and the sleeve details and the Star Wars-iness of it all.

I was hoping to finish it yesterday, but the fit issues were worth spending the time on, I think. Sewing on one of the sleeves revealed a large, weird bubble at the back of the armscye, and in dealing with that I ended up taking a chunk out of the tops of both the side back and side front panels where they connect with center back and center front, which fixed most of the issue I was seeing with the excess fabric problem.

But at that point the shirt was a weird in-between of not quite fitted enough, so I mentioned to Jack that I was thinking about taking out the two rectangular side panels that together were adding about 5" of width to the shirt. He suggested I just use a plain seam to take it in, instead of picking out all the stitching. That took out about 4" of that 5" width and resulted in a shirt that's significantly more fitted while still loose enough to pull on over my head. It also turned into this really cool seam detail at the side seam:

Of course, that'll be completely covered by the fitted vest I'll be wearing over top for our Batuu outing, but I like the way this sweatshirt turned out so I'll probably end up just wearing it on its own with jeans or whatever, too.

Once I had the body fitting the way I wanted it to, I fitted the sleeve into the armscye more or less by pinning it in place while wearing it. I was extra careful to match the inset panel on the sleeve with the inset panel on the shoulder, and I ended up having more fabric at the back of the shoulder than I needed (the other thing that was causing that weird bubble, as it turns out) but with the lapped seam and fitting it while wearing it, that was easy to shift that out and then trim it down later. I also ended up taking in the long seam of the sleeves themselves, so that the width matched up with the smaller armscye. The sleeves are completely fitted now, but there's enough stretch in this fabric that it's still comfortable and I have full range of motion.

With the sleeves attached, I was able to try the whole thing on and mark a couple of changes I wanted to make to the neckline and to level out the lower hem. I trimmed those to shape, then added the same sort of hem finish that I used for the sleeves: a narrow panel cut parallel to the knitted grain of the fabric, and thus unlikely to either roll or fray too badly. And with that, I could call the scrappy Jyn Erso Sweatshirt finished!

At some point in the next two and a half weeks, I want to gently hand-wash it to get all the chalk markings off, and then probably let it air dry. In the future I plan to throw this shirt in the wash with everything else, but for right now I don't want to risk something unraveling and needing fixed before I wear it to Batuu.

The other thing I may want to fiddle with later is the collar trim. When I wear it under the vest, it lays flat and sticks out exactly as much as I was hoping it would, for just a little bit of contrast color right at the neckline. But when it's worn on its own the neckline doesn't feel quite right. It probably just needs a couple of little darts at the shoulders to help it lay flatter against my neck -- or I might chop it down to a narrower width and let that be the solution. But either way, it's not something I'm going to mess with this month.

So with the shirt officially done and wearable, I can get back to fitting the vest. I left some pins in it from the last set of alterations I was thinking about, right before I decided to pause that project and make the sweatshirt to wear under it. But as soon as I put it on with the sweatshirt, I could see that my alterations were in the wrong place -- largely because I'd just done something similar with the sweatshirt.

During my last try-on a week or so ago, I had thought I needed to pinch in the top of the armscye to keep it from gaping over the cap of my shoulder, but that was making the bust fit weird, so I had started pinning that to take it in, before deciding that I really needed to be able to fit it over the shirt I'd be wearing it with.

With the complete flying-by-the-seat-of-my-pants nature of the sweatshirt project, I had come to realize that my pattern for both the sweatshirt and the vest (and probably a bunch of other things, come to think of it) are way too small through the shoulder, especially on the center front panel. The center back seems to be fine, weirdly.

So instead of pinching out a triangle from the armscye to the neckline, I seam ripped the shoulder seam and sewed an extra rectangle of fabric onto the shoulder of the front panels, being careful to match the grain lines. I've pinned a new shoulder seam in place -- the same shape as the alteration I had previously pinned, but now with two or three extra inches of height between the shoulder and the bust.

It's gotten too dark to try to fit this very dark blue fabric in the mirror so I've set it aside to finalize tomorrow, but I could already tell that the bust is fitting much better, now that it's sitting where it should be instead of trying to float two or three inches too high. I may not even have to make any adjustments to the bust itself, but I'll wait until tomorrow to decide, after I can see the vest in bright daylight.

Besides that, there are a couple of other tiny changes I want to make -- lowering the curve of the part of the neckline that folds over, bringing in the flare over the hips at the side seam just slightly, and trimming off the extra length especially in the back panels. Those are all very simple changes, so I'm hoping to get through them all tomorrow while the light is good.

Then I'll be able to transfer all those changes to the paper pattern and cut out the exterior fabric from this same blue linen. The lining will have a seam where I added to the front shoulder, but unless it shows through really obviously, I'm not planning to re-cut the lining. I'm hoping to put some pockets in that'll live between the exterior and the lining anyhow, so I'm not too worried about that one extra seam showing through. And worst case I'll just re-cut that piece of the lining, since I should have enough linen left over after the exterior is cut.

Once I've got the exterior cut out and assembled, it'll be down to attaching the exterior to the lining and finishing all the edges, then adding the zipper and any other closures, and adding pockets if I have time. There are a few other detail things I'd like to do for my outfit if I have time (covering up laces and buckles, mostly), but all of that will only happen after both the vest and Jack's jacket are finished.

Still lots to do, but I'm feeling really good about my progress, and how cool everything looks. The sweatshirt isn't something I could have imagined and sketched out in its final form, but I am thrilled with the ways that necessity led to such interesting design details. I wanted something long-sleeve in that blue-gray color, and I ended up with something so much better than that, something I just love.

I tried on all the pieces of my outfit together, and I'm really happy with the look overall, and particularly the way the sleeves of the sweatshirt work with the vest and the hooded wrap and my little fingerless leather gloves. I can't wait to get the vest done and really see the final effect of all these pieces I've made. Less than three weeks to go now, but it's easy to stay focused and motivated when everything just looks so wonderful.

More pictures and updates to come as I continue to check things off of my list!

[gorgin-gals-muses]

ok im going to try to go out to bike a bit as soon as im done with this BUT. theres an AU idea ive been thinking about a little bit that ive really been considering. its teensy a bit darker than my usual fare, but like, i do feel like i can be a bit overly toothless and saccharine and its something i want to break from at least a little bit

But Ive been really taking to the idea of an immobile, more morally bankrupt Fubuki becoming the head of a dystopian society. The greedy, million-ton, ever-expanding center of a city of gluttons, surveilling them through cameras and controlling them through robotic apparatuses, ensuring a steady stream of food arrives for them and her. All with the single-minded goal of eating every single person on the planet (though not necessarily eating humanity to extinction).

Now, in many respects, she's still the same Fubuki. She's endlessly, infectiously optimistic, she's overeager, she's kind, she's polite, and she still has a few of the same squicks. She doesn't want to see herself as a monster, nor does she see her master plan as brutality or an entirely selfish act of gluttony. She doesn't want to eat anyone who isn't totally overjoyed over the prospect of it.

However, she has no qualms about making someone want to get eaten as coercively as possible. And, while she may not want to eat any unwilling prey, she has no problem with forcing a few extra pounds on her populace, both for what she considers their own benefit and to make them tastier when they agree to join her larders of willing prey.

Daily broadcasts litter the streets, promising how much she loves each and every citizen and how loved they would feel inside her. A torrent of vore porn, some of it hand-drawn, some of it animated, some of it real and performed by her, flood the internet at an unprecedented rate. Hypnotic messaging, subliminal and dream altering technology to implant the desire to both eat and be eaten. Eat, so you can be tasty, and fatty, and satisfying for your queen. Chemical additives that promote addiction added to food, from solid food to the cream and milkshakes that hang from hoses on each street and building. Her stomach sounds and promising whispers issue from speakers installed in every home, lulling citizens to sleep in their creaking, ever-replaced beds. In effect, her society is built to turn the populace into the exact same kind of prey-brained person she once was, eating her younger self forever and ever, over and over again.

The center of the city is a cavern overlooking her vast, blubbery sea of churning belly, the blue-haired speck of a queen's head at its center, surrounded by monitors. It's a lot to keep up, but when the population is so slow, so heavy, and so eager to do as she says, she can afford to be lazy. Beyond the monitors, dangling atop her unfathomable girth, is her larder; cells of concrete and steel, designed to swivel on rail over to her mouth whenever she wishes. Inside are those who volunteer, and those who resist. The end of the days before they're forever snatched by her jaws are where her reprogramming is the most mind-melting, and their forcefully-attached hoses are the most ruthless. Bloated until they fill up the walls of their cage and threaten to break through, upon which they dangle over the predator queen's head, and she asks them whether they're ready. If so, she happily opens her mouth, and gives them exactly what she'd always promised. If not, that's alright.

She has other rooms for the toughest nuts to crack.