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honey-coloured-passion · 4 years ago

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dream smp high school au and what they'd teach:

i had to get it out of my system but i'm so happy with how these turned out

mr notfound: engineering (the engineering teacher never really teaches and kinda sits in his office but the entire school simps for him so there's always a teacher hanging with him. his curriculum is free form and an easy A but genuinely pretty damn fun)

mr. nap: gym (hes the nice gym teacher who says screw the pacer test and rope climbing and you guys just play basketball after running like 2 laps. he's super gullible and will let anyone sit out for any semblance of pain. that is until the film teacher comes into the gym, then he's a tryhard beating freshman up to make layups on lowered hoops)

mr. wastaken: physics (the coolest class that always does crazy expiriments with large falling objects and questionable usage of dry ice, people always think his experiments are fake but he'll be the first to give a class long lecture on why every single piece of his work is 100% accurate. there was this one incident when he used the engineering teacher to explain torque and it ended with mr. notfound being caught in his arms. there's pictures but he still denys it.)

mr. blade: advanced english lit (mr. blade has no time for freshmen and if he does like a frosh into his class they've gotta he the damn best. his class is based on old literature analysis and storytelling. his favorite unit being greek mythology. most of his assignments aren't just boring essays or stressful discussion. no one truly knows what mr. blades class is like until you've taken it, they're often heard chanting "blood for the blood god" before exams but the principal is yet to do anything about it.)

mr. awsamdude: comp sci/coding (sam is the teacher everyone adores, there's usually at least two people crying in his office before and after school but he always knows what will cheer them up! he tries to work closely with mr. notfound but he's busy with the physics prof so sam has gotten really close with his TA tubbo. they do all kinds of coding competitions and his class is known to be a safe haven for students of all kinds- "coding is for everyone!" he always chants)

ms. nihachu: art (known for the classroom with the best vibes niki insists on dropping the ms. and formalitys. she's the teacher with lofi playing and bean bags and couches in her beautifully decorated classroom. she has an open classroom meaning anyone can come in anytime and she is dedicated to making sure no one eats lunch alone. a couple times a year she goes on a huge rant about loving oneself and the value of not judging others, needless to say everyone adores her - especially the theatre kids as her class is constantly helping them with set design)

mr. soot: music/theatre (does he have a degree? unknown. does he teach anything besides music? couldnt tell ya. mr soot roams the halls during class hours that aren't his one choir period; popping into various classes to pretend to be a student or just all around goof off. his theatre program however, one of the best. he makes the most extravagant plays and musicals with barely any budget. after his show goes on he goes dark for like 2 weeks straight "recuperating" but no one questions because that kind of genius needs resting)

mr. frost: math (ant and red would TOTALLY teach math together and it would be so cute everyone would see them walk in and out of school together and ship them and their classroom would be a safe space for people to come out or even just hangout. ant would be a crazy good teacher who is understanding and not one of those asshole math teachers. he's the one everyone always wants to have haha)

mr. jacobs: film/freshman history (mr jacobs is the freshman heartthrob and senior best friend. he teaches film as history, film as lit, and frosh history - basically the easiest classes, but he makes them the most fun. in his lit classes they watch cartoons and search for literature similarities or historical evidence. in his history classes he goes on grand lectures often standing on tables to reenact his favorite history moments. occasionally he brings in his friends to re create a massive fight in front of all the history classes, it's scuffed but everyone always looks forward to them)

ms. puffy: head counselor (ms puffy is the sweetest soul and often is helping students with everything from their personal lives to college. she assigns the TA's and classrooms and works closely with mr minecraft to make the school as conducive of a learning environment as possible.)

mr. minecraft: the principal, the big man himself, mr fuckin minecraft. (he constantly looks sleep deprived and exhausted but he loves the students and teachers with his whole heart. he takes no shit from annoying parents or asshole students and is known to ban the entitled cruel students from all his favorite teachers classes, leaving them with the worst teachers. usually he can be found telling dream he can't have more money for explosives, begging wilbur to sleep and rest, and telling techno he's gonna have to teach a english 9 class eventually. that and dealing with his new TA's.)

our lovely teacher assistants:

ranboo: english TA (thought he was gonna get art with niki but puffy out him with the blade. originally he was terrified but he's growing on mr. blade with his deep analytical thoughts and similar dry humor. granted- he does have the most work of all the TA's because mr. blade makes him grade all the multiple choice tests, but he's really starting to love the english classroom.)

tubbo: comp sci TA (tubbo had been begging to be sam's TA since freshman year where he took almost all the coding classes in one year. plus, the computer science room is right next to the physics room in the science wing so he can pop over and see tommy all the time. tubbo and sam stay in the computer lab way later than philza should allow but they've made magnificent codes for the school. everytime tubbo points out he's graduating soon sam starts to tear up, but he knows tubbos gonna do big things, he's just gonna miss his goofy TA.)

tommy: physics TA (the pounding philza got on his office door when tommy didn't get wilbur was ground shaking. puffy and philza calmly explained that tommy has a knack for physics if he would just focus and genuinely learn from dream. "big D" as tommy calls him, wasnt jazzed either. their year as TA and teacher started rocky but dream would come to realize that tommy is more talented than he lets on and after speaking to wilbur and puffy he realized there was a damn good reason he was given tommy. he took it upon himself to turn tommy into the best student he could be. and tommy isn't one to back down from a fight. little did he know this year would be the best year yet.)

i'm so happy with this and i actually think i might expand it idkkkk :)))

#also there's a few inconsistencies like tommy irl says he hates math and physics but shhhh it works better #this makes me so happy n for what #dream smp #dreamwastaken #mcyters #dreamnotfound #dnf #karlnap #mcyter #sapnap #tommyinnit #wilbur soot #ranboo #georgenotfound #captain puffy #nihachu #mr wastaken #tubbolive #karl jacobs

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kaypeace21 · 4 years ago

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Crash-course for all the evidence of Will creating the mindflayer/upsidedown

* Honestly I’ve talked about this stuff in my did theories- where I explained how the upsidedown/mf/ the lab subjects/ and russians all connect back to Will creating them. But since so may people assume that Will got his powers from the upsidedown/mf rather than Will creating it all subconsciously (with his powers). Thought i’d do a short analysis of just that connection (without boggling it down with those other plot lines that are interconnected) . *So I’m not mentioning the lights -because it interconnects with the numbers/lab.I’m just going to list every example in short succession from every season for brevity’s sake (so it won’t be structured as eloquently as prior analyses).

refresher of how Will influences the mf/upsidedown ...

S1)

Will ( in s1e1) says to Dustin if he could have any comic it would be the xmen. Dustin later says "do you think - el was born with her powers like the xmen? " Will plays a d&d game saying the demogorgan got him -so it does irl. Will writes stories where bad guys weakness are fire so the mf/ demogorgans are lit on fire in s1-3 (and it's their weakness). Will watches poltergeist so Will is forced to be the child character in that film- who was trapped in a alternative dimension and could only speak to their mother through tech. The demogrgan is said to resemble a shark by nancy-mathcing Will’s Jaws movie poster in his room. in s1 Mr clarke describes the vale of shadows (later the upsidedown) as being created by “necrotic” (’dead’-zombie boy) and “shadow” (shadow monster/mf) “magic”. In d&d the Vale of Shadows, is as a lush valley hidden in the mountains that holds a sacred pool with the power to make dreams reality. In d&d the demogorgan is literally called the "deep father" in d&d Nancy also says the demogorgan is like a “lion” the meaning of the name Lonnie- is literally “lion”. We see it attack Will when using lonnie's gun (in lonnie's shed). And it knocks the bat out of Jonathan's hand too. (Baseball/hunting were taught by their dad lonnie). The demogorgan also hurts a deer- mirroring Jonathan's story about how Lonnie forced him to kill a rabbit and how this upset him as he was a fan of the rabbit character from the film bambi.. El when she first sees the demogorgan also sees it eating it’s own eggs-aka symbolically the father hurting his own children. Will's password for cb is rhadagast a wizard who protects Wildlife (the opposite of Hunter-lonnie/the demogorgan).

Duffers cited as inspo the silent hill videogames): And in s1 Hopper named dropped the character Alessa’s last name. “The bad guys faked Alessa’s death. Kaufmann prepared a substitute body of alessa; and performed the fake autopsy (like Will) . Alessa had precognition (future/intuition-like will the wise is said to have in s3) and pyrokinesis (firepowers mentioned Will the wise has in s1). Alessa’s latent psychic abilities are triggered and she shrouds Silent Hill in fog and an altered reality to prevent her ab*sive parent’s schemes from advancing. Many of the drastic changes that befall the town in the game, such as the horrific creatures that come to inhabit it, are conjured from her imagination and delusions. “

Will also says in s1ep1 he wants xmen 134-about the dark phoenix saga. ‘dark phoenix’ - has pyrokinesis ( fire powers-like Will the wise). And the dark phoenix also “was able to warp reality on a universal scale”. One of the phoenix’s host was even the god Thor (god of lightning-an element Will is associated with a lot in s2)

(in s1 Will also spit up a slug- in d&d putting a slug in a humanoid can create/turn that humanoid into a mf. foreshadowing Will being posessed/becoming the mf in s2. ).

S2)

Will plays digdug (a videogame about underground tunnels) so the mf creates tunnels. Will's dog dies so demogogans become demo-dogs. He also watches Ghostbusters- where a character is possessed by the ‘gate keeper’ and can control demon dogs. So this happens to Will too -similar to s1 with poltergeist .In s1 , Hopper even mentions the book Cujo about a violent dog, who is replaced by a new dog named ‘Willie’ (to allude to this).In s1 we see Mike holding a drawing of Will’s- where Will's wizard has lightning powers (coming from his hand). everytime Will uses tech in s1, the phones explode and lighting appears out of them- hopper makes a BBQ joke about the burned phones.later in s2 the mf has these same lightning abilities and the lab technician makes the same BBQ joke.Joyce even describes the tunnels of the mf/ that Will’s draws as “like lightning.” We also see the russians eviserated by lightning next season too.

A lab tech calls Will a wizard-and they monitor his brain waves, record him on video, just like they did to El .(when the mf first appears at Will’s house- the lab techs even notice ). The drawing of the mf is next to a baseball (Lonnie ref) and Will says it was a drawing for a story he wrote. In s2 Nancy describes the mindflayer (but she’s actually describing Will).“So this thing is like a brain that’s controlling everything.”Because it’s not the mindflayers’ brain - it’s Will’s brain controlling everything. ( a “hive mind” aka the mf/WILL share a brain ). Owens in s2e1 (BEFORE the mf possession) says Will's ‘anniversary affect’ would make him remember “tra*matic memories” and “OPEN the neurological flood GATES” (aka Will’s neurological GATES are the gates between the real world and upsidedown - which are connected to the mf).

Owens in s2e1 (after mentioning the “gates”) even says Will's ‘anniversary affect’ / “tr*umatic memories” would cause temporary “personality changes”for Will (the later mf possession) . I mean... Owens wasn’t entirely wrong was he? Will even feels the back of his neck in s2 and says it has to do with “memories” ...and in s3 feeling the back of his neck meant Will was sensing the mf. Similarly, before his possession-mr clarke mentions phineus gage who after an accident had a “complete change to his personality” (and the shot pans to Will).

Nancy even calls the mind flayer the “mind-flamer”- hinting at it’s connection to Will the wise who has fire powers). And Dustin says the mf “takes over minds with it’s highly developed psyionic abilities “ And to “summon an undead army... cause the mindflayer loves brains ” ( and in s3 the mf creates a undead army by taking over people’s brains). Hopper even says “So how do we kill this thing shoot it with fireballs ?” (which destroys the flesh-monster in s3) ”

S3)

Will (the “zombie boy”) writes a story about juju zombies after watching a film about zombies at starcourt in s3 - then the mf creates a undead army -which was also foreshadowed in s2 (and similar to Will’s s3 d&d story). We also see Will wrote this d&d story in front of "the thing" poster. So the mf creates a flesh monster resembling the creature in that film too. We also see someone get bit (el) like in Will's story and when his friends retcon his ending to be about “sacrificing themselves via explosion (Hopper).” Will just says “fine you win” (so it ends that way).Also, the shadow monster is now called the Mindflayer - and mimics the mf from d&d (both can control rats with their powers in the show/game).

Will in s2-3 grabs the back of his neck and he attributed it to “memories”, “dreams”, and sensing the mf. Will created castle byers after his dad left and he grabs the bat in cb which was next to the Will the wise drawing (similar to how the baseball was next to the mf drawing in s2) and destroys cb with said bat . Then Will touches his neck and admits the mf has returned. EVERY moment Will senses the mf can be loosely connected to Lonnie. Lonnie used to call him h*mophobic sl*rs so anytime he subconsciously thinks of his feelings towards Mike the mf appears-1st time it’s on one of their ‘movie dates’, 2nd time when Mike and El walk off together down the hill to make-out, 3rd time right after he smashed castle byers after Mike says “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls”, 4th time (after the fight with Mike) when Billy is yelling to open the door (a trigger) and confides in Mike, 5th time when Mike asks him to go away so he can talk to El in the hospital waiting area, and 6th time when Mike says he loves El. The 7th time is when Jonathan is fixing up a car -something Lonnie used to do.Lonnie fixes up cars as a hobby-showing his remodeled car to Jonathan in s1 . Will then senses the mf and grabs his neck-which he said are connected to old “memories”. max and Mike are silent until Jonathan says says “got it (the distributor)”. Then Mike screams for his older sibling. We also see in s1 Jonathan checked to see if Lonnie threw Will in his trunk- something the mf does to some of his victims in s3.

Dustin and susie sing “never ending story”- which is literally about a seemingly normal boy named Sebastian with a bowl cut (from a single parent home) subconsciously making a fantasy world being invaded by a dark force (representing the loss of hope/dreams) that only his imagination powers can fix . “make believe i’m everywhere ... what you dream will be...Rhymes that keep their secrets Will unfold behind the clouds.And there upon a rainbow Is the answer to a never ending story” . Cough-Will’s rainbow ship he CREATED.Both times the lyric plays “Rhymes that keep their secrets WILL “ ( it pans to Will).

The film also follows a false chosen one who everyone says is supposed to save fantasia- named Atreyu (el). Specifically, for that plotwist that Sebastian (Will) has to be the one to do so , not Atreyu (who sebastian subconsciously created). In the novel/film-Atreyu ( the child who was deemed the ‘chosen one) is knocked from Falkor’s back, and into the sea of possibilities. There he wakes on the shore of abandoned ruins.

“There Gmork (The Mindflayer) reveals himself, having been lying in wait.And then latches his jaws onto Atreyu’s leg.”

-Before the duet, Susie tells dusin she’s reading “ a wizard of earthsea” and says ged is about to save his world. The book is about a boy-wizard named Ged (Will) who casts a powerful spell, but the spell goes awry and instead he releases a shadow creature! The new Archmage, Gensher, describes the shadow as an ancient evil that wishes to possess Ged. But the ‘shadow’ turns out to be a representation of the darkest aspects of his personality. And the only way for the world to be saved is for the 2 to merge and for Ged to accept himself .

-Will says he’s a wizard ( writing on a music tape in s3 “will the wise-wizard mix’ and having his password for castle byers be ‘rhadaghast’- a lotr wizard). The way they describe d&d Wizards matches Will/mindflayer perfectly “Wizards are adepts and magicians who combine according to the type of their spells. Relying on the subtle weaves of magic that permeate the universe, wizards are able to create spells of explosive fire, sparking lightning, subtle deception, and gross mind control. Their magic summons monsters from other planes of existence, predicts the future, and turns defeated enemies into zombies. Their most powerful spells can transform one substance into another, summon meteors from the sky, and open portals to other worlds” (all these powers Will the wise/mf are implied to have)

- Stranger things d&d comic (published post s3) : Will creating a illusion army of monsters -as Will the wizard.

- stranger writers twitter reffed several movies which discuss artist/writer WILLiam Blake who helped make the art exhibit “worlds turned upsidedown”

possible reason for the flayed eating chemicals& fertilizer (in s3)

full link/credits here. Lonnie’s gf has a biker shirt from Harley davidson- with the eagle logo and their saying “live to ride’. Which would imply lonnie is also in such biker circles. Harley davidson in the 80s had dr*g gangs too (primarily m*th).

One reason m*th is so prevalent in rural areas is that it can be formulated, or “cooked,” by small producers and one of the ingredients is readily found on most farms – anhydrous AMMONIA fertilizer. Both farmers and chemical suppliers have experienced thefts of anhydrous particularly in the Midwest.“

WHICH REMINDS ME OF the FLAYED EATING FERTILIZER AND CHEMICALS IN S3 . Nancy even says farmers/chem suppliers are having fertilizer stolen! And she later thinks flayed tom was on drugs- “A mysterious case of the missing fertilizer- a Nancy Drew Mystery”. This is also in the same season one character (who looks a bit like Lonnie) is a biker is corrupting the town.

Will creating /basing the supernatural from suppressed memories -means it’s from a very young child’s perspective . young Will would equate people eating chemicals, ammonia fertilizer, and ammonia... to using those SAME chemicals to create m*th and then physically consuming them . Why we see mrs driscoll eating fertilizer & Billy drinking ammonia.

The reason the flayed started behaving differently is probably because in s2 Will was forcibly injected with a needle & woken up with ammonia by Hopper-jogging some of those old memories.

EVEN Nancy’s proof Tom is on dr*gs is a symptom of m*th use or withdrawl from it-excessive sweating (like all the flayed in s2-3). M*th causes hyperthermia (body is at a higher temp than usual)-so they like it cold!!!!! Even clammy hands that she mentioned is a symptom of m*th use. in children it can even cause seizures- like Will :(

And when m*th is made via fertilizer it first is made into a highly corrosive liquid which is sometimes green-like the Russian lab.“six pounds of toxic waste is created for every pound of m*th manufactured. The waste is often dumped on farms, in rivers and and is harmful to the environment.” Like all the chemical leaks relating to Hawkins lab/mf that affected the crops in s2/this pic of water in s3.

m*th was even called ‘bathroom crank’-which is sketchy given the bathtub is what mf fears and how the sensory deprivation tank is also called a ‘tub’ by el . Becky even said Brenner would get terry high and throw her in the tank/tub.

It also does take some chemisty knowledge to COVERT various substances (including fertilizer and other chemicals) to make m*th- which reminds me of the kids saying they can convert one substance into another (when explaining why the possessed are eating chemicals)- they say they’re making a new chemical “in themselves”

other hints

Will’s b day is march 22 . Which is when “fire burns most brightly” and his ‘birthday number is number 7′ (”it was a 7 the demogorgan it got me′) . The number 7 is specifically associated with “wisdom and psychic abilities”. His b day even adds up to 7 (3+2+2).His horoscope is also influenced by the shadow god-ketu (who is also associated with wisdom and psychic abilities too).

* There’s way more details/depth/ other st inspirations in my DID analyses -specifically pt 2. (where i discuss how the mf/upsidedown connects to the numbers/russians- and also specifially Will).But this is just a crash course about the flayed/upsideown/it’s creatures connect to Will.

People will dismiss all of this as just the Duffers liking to reference random things they like/ and foreshadow via d&d without any in universe reason.�� but I really think that’s a disappointing explanation/outcome. Especially the predictable cliche theory that the mf is just experiment #1. Not only is it boring, cliche, and predictable af- but it doesn’t line up as well with the mental health themes mentioned in ever season.Will created everything via tr*uma cause of his dad- and overcomes this: is not only a “twist” that will make rewatching more enjoyable given all the hints- it’s more narratively sound given how much the series touches on themes such as overcoming tra*ma, mental health, and problematic fathers. The #1/ex experiment=mf theory doesn’t explain why they made the supernatural connect to Will in this way . And with such a boring cliche ending it would quickly be forgotten like other big sci-fi/fantasy shows that quickly lost relevancy after being popular: like heros, g.o.t, etc.One makes the show cliche another makes it remembered for decades (ex: jacob’s ladder).

#will byers #stranger things #byler #byeler #stranger things theory #did theory

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mcwriting · 3 years ago

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A Science Project for the Ages

Big thanks to this anon for this request! Sorry it's taking me longer to fulfill my requests from when I was in quarantine but I'm trying to get those done soon!

This is a slight continuation of lab partners but can definitely be read alone :)

Ship: SoftNerd!Tom Holland x Reader

Word Count: 1883

Warnings: one blink-and-you'll-miss it bad word

⚛︎

There was a loud buzz as your phone vibrated against the wood table in the science library.

You quickly picked it up, trying not to disturb the few other students around as you looked down at the screen.

Tom.

Though you were together now, he very rarely called at this time. He knew you always studied here before dinner time and respected that.

You grabbed your notebook and bag and shuffled into the hall to answer.

"Tom? Is everything okay?"

"Hey, um. So sorry to bother you, but you've finished your science expo project, right?"

You furrowed your brows as you slid down the wall to sit and stuff your notebook back in your bag. You knew this conversation was going in a weird direction already. You could hear a faint beeping in the background.

"Uh, yeah..?"

"Right, and what was that project over again?"

"I did an analysis on light absorption of different common solutions and then compared them to the color they turned when I lit them on fire. I thought we already talked about this the other day..?"

"Yes, yeah, sorry. So one more question before I tell you what's up. Do you happen to know how to bake?" Tom asked quietly.

Suddenly you remembered what all his project was on.

He was doing a food chemistry project, explaining certain phenomenons that happen when you bake. He had hoped giving people baked goods would make them like his project more.

"I- Tom I told you I would help you but you said it would be fine," you said flatly."

"Well..... Now it's not fine, and Alex isn't here to help me. He went to his girlfriend's."

Tom's roommate. He was usually pretty patient with Tom's clumsiness, but sometimes he just had to get out and enjoy a day off, too. Tom understood, but now the burden fell on you.

"Fine, I'll be there in a little bit. Text me if you need me to bring anything."

⚛︎

You walked in to the smell of burnt. It was overwhelming and you choked as you rushed to the window to air out the apartment.

"Hey, sorry about the smell," Tom said nonchalantly from the kitchen.

You turned to see the situation at hand, which was definitely... a situation.

It was like something out of a movie. Messy bowls and utensils littered the sink. There was cake batter splattered across the counters. Finally, the culprit still sat in a muffin tin on the bar: a dozen very black cupcakes.

You sighed.

"Forgot to set the timer?"

"Yep."

"And let me guess. This was your first experience with baking?"

"That's exactly right."

"Of course," you muttered, but then clapped your hands together enthusiastically. "Well, then. Let's try and fix this, shall we?"

You leaned up and pressed a quick kiss to Tom's cheek, then brushed past him to grab the tray.

"First on the agenda, we are going to take off the papers and chuck these off the balcony to let out some frustrations, alright?"

You were lucky in that Tom's apartment was on the top floor, and his balcony faced a wooded area. The only thing he could hit was a tree and the food would eventually biodegrade into the soil.

You both tossed them, competing to see who could throw the farthest. It let Tom blow off some steam, and also gave more time to ventilate the place before you went back in.

After the last cupcake (if you could call it that) was tossed, you got started on cleaning everything up. He had used a lot of bowls for one boxed cake mix, but you didn't ask.

It took a while to make sure things were sufficiently clean, but finally everything was ready to make a new batch.

"Oh one other thing before we start. Have you ever made a meringue?" Tom asked as he preheated the oven, which you carefully supervised to make sure it was right.

"I mean, I've made some before. Why?"

"Well part of my project was talking about how egg proteins bind. They sound pretty easy. Just eggs and sugar, right?"

Your hand covered your eyes in disappointed surprise.

"What? No. Tom, meringues are like, notoriously one of the hardest things to get right. They land just before macarons, and meringue is one of the main parts of a macaron!"

"What are you talking about? How can something with two ingredients be that hard to make?" he tried to argue, but you weren't about to let him trick you into making something so difficult.

"Did none of your research explain how moisture, temperature changes, utensils used, and method of cooking affect the outcome."

"...Uh... no."

"Were you planning on using the Swiss, Italian, or French technique?"

".....I didn't know there was more than one."

"Well then you might go do a quick search to add to your presentation while I cover the cupcakes."

While he did that, you made up the batter and got the cupcakes in the oven (set at the right temperature for the right time), then got started making some frosting.

"Hey, y/n. Did you know you aren't supposed to make meringues in a plastic bowl?"

"Yep. Plastic can retain lipids which prevent proper binding. Same reason you can't whip the yolk."

"That's what this says! How did you know that?"

You shrugged.

"I like to bake. By the way, you better credit me as your pastry chef on the presentation."

"Will do."

He made some edits on the page and found a recipe claiming to be the easiest method, so you caved and agreed to help him make them when the cupcakes were done.

As you measured sugar and got the whisk attachment ready, you looked over and admired Tom as he meticulously separated the eggs.

You couldn't help but fall head over heels for him all over again seeing how he did each step carefully, all his focus on each little egg.

Sure, he was a little clumsy sometimes, but he was precious and cared about whatever he did.

It took what seemed like hours to get the egg whites whipped properly (and lots of arguing with Tom about what "stiff peaks" meant), but finally you had them in a piping bag and on a pan to bake.

You couldn't help but wait by the oven in anxious anticipation for the meringues to come out, even though they'd be in there for a while.

Tom sat right next to you on the (surprisingly) clean kitchen floor as you stared at the oven.

"Babe?" he asked softly, leaning into you.

You hummed a response, taking the opportunity to rest your head on his shoulder.

"Thank you for coming and helping me. I know you value your library time."

You smiled and sat back up, looking Tom in the eyes.

"You know, I wasn't really studying anyways. I was watching youtube videos with my headphones in because I didn't want to go home yet."

Tom had a mischievous grin and furrowed brow.

"So you just go there as an excuse to get away from me?!"

You laughed and knocked into him slightly.

"No! I just got done with my homework and wanted to hang around campus for a while... and I had a feeling you'd call eventually."

Tom gasped.

"You didn't trust me!?"

"Now that I can answer truthfully..." you started, causing him to pout. "I'm not saying I didn't trust you at all, it's just that I had never once heard of you baking and figured I would prepare myself accordingly."

"Does this mean that Alex knew too?"

"I can't speak on his behalf, but I'm glad it was just us anyways. I like getting to spend time with you like this." You paused to peck him on the lips. "Want me to read over your project? I know those spelling errors can slip by sometimes."

Tom grinned, wordlessly getting up and offering you a hand.

⚛︎

The expo was in full swing and you nervously stood on the other side of the room as your project to watch people walk by and observe your findings.

You had already given your presentation to the judging panel and now the expo was open to the public, so you tried to avoid stressing too much as you talked with some friends.

Suddenly a pair of warm arms came around your stomach and Tom's scent enveloped you.

"Hey baby, how ya feelin'?" he asked, resting his chin on your shoulder as your thumbs rubbed over his hands instinctively.

"You know me. A little nervous." You flipped in his arms to face him. "And what about you? The judges like our sweet treats?"

"They sure seemed too. Dr. Grand liked the meringues so much she asked for another."

You smiled.

"Well either way, I'm proud of us both."

"Thanks again for helping, I couldn't have done this without you. I made sure to emphasize how difficult meringue making is during my presentation thanks to you."

Finally your friends had enough of the cutesy bullshit and convinced you and Tom to rejoin the conversation, both of you with arms around each other as you conversed.

Time passed and eventually they gave prizes to the best projects of the expo. You knew you wouldn't win anything, there were some far better projects out there that included heavy research.

"And in first place, 'Science around us: the chemistry of baking' by Mr. Tom Holland! Congratulations! If all of our winners could come pick up their ribbons and get a photo for the newsletter, that would be great."

Tom stayed casually next to you, so you had to shake him and get his attention.

"Did you hear that Tom? You won!"

Tom blinked a few times, then gasped.

"I won!? I mean, we won!!?"

You rolled your eyes and pushed him forward.

"Go on, get your blue ribbon, baker boy."

He excitedly rushed up to the table where his prize awaited (tripping a few times, but you ignored that) and bounced on the balls of his feet as someone pinned the ribbon to his shirt.

You could see the sheer delight on his face as the winners took a group photo, and he practically skipped back to meet you.

You and your friends gave him congratulations as he happily looked down at the blue piece pinned to him.

He then unpinned it and tried to hand it to you.

"Now, don't congratulate me, y/n gets all the credit for making everything."

"No, no. It was your idea and you did the research. You deserve that more than anyone else. And plus, you were right. Baked goods did give you an edge over the competition."

"Well I say it was a science project for the ages!" he exclaimed, holding up the ribbon. You and your friends cheered to that.

"How 'bout we go celebrate your win over lunch, hm? The cupcake I had isn't holding me over and I'm starving."

"Sounds perfect, darling. Lead the way."

You happily headed off towards the nearest place on campus, completely oblivious to the fact that Tom had pinned his blue ribbon to your backpack.

He quickly made up time and slipped a hand into yours.

If nothing else, he was the boyfriend of the ages.

⚛︎

A/N: thanks to the anon who sent the request for this! I really enjoyed writing it! I think I could've improved some things but overall I'm pretty satisfied with it, and I hope you are too!

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#a science project for the ages #tom holland #tom holland story #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland one shot #tom holland x you #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland imagine

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thunder-at-dawn · 4 years ago

Text

Old Memories

Word count: 2,474

Summary: Late in the night, the king receives an unexpected visitor, who attempts to help him remember his past.

I spent way too much time writing this goodbye

warning: this is a sfw tickle fic! don’t read if that makes you uncomfortable :]

OH also if you tag as ship i will block you <3

Why couldn’t he remember?

It was a simple question that burned in his mind.

Why. Couldn’t. He. Remember.

Eret sighed, sitting on his throne as he reflected on past events. It was late at night, he should probably be sleeping right now. However, his mind was racing with thoughts of Foolish, the peculiar totem-shark hybrid that he had previously befriended. He was kind and comedic, but his talk of a “wither cult” in a previous conversation had swarmed Eret’s mind.

It was incredibly frustrating. He had asked other people on the server, and none of them have heard of a wither cult. Even Phil had no clue what Eret was asking him about.

Maybe there were books that had the information that the king was looking for. Maybe there was something in his castle. There was no way that this was just...erased from history. There had to be something.

With a yawn, Eret stood up from the throne and equipped a torch in his left hand, as the castle could be quite dark in some areas at night. The king wandered through the halls until he approached an area of the castle that acted as a small library.

This room had bookshelves that were lined along the walls, as well as a table with chairs in the center of the room. There were also some bookshelves that started at the walls and then expanded out into the center of the room. Everything was lit by one hanging lantern in the middle of the ceiling.

While it was a small library, there had to be something on the history of withers. Eret believed that this wouldn’t be something that would disappear without warning. He scanned through the bookshelves, looking for anything that could be useful, when something caught his eye.

“The History Of Withers: An Analysis.”

The black hardcover book sat on a bookshelf next to the table. It had a fairly large spine, and Eret knew it would be packed with research. He set the torch on a nearby wall, then reached towards the book. However, what the king didn’t expect to see behind the book’s place on the shelf was two emerald eyes greeting him.

“AH!” Eret yelled in surprise, dropping the book and covering his mouth.

A soft chuckle was heard as a familiar friend emerged from the other side of the bookshelf. “Haha, sorry about that! Did I spook ya?”

A small groan left Eret’s mouth as he checked the clock momentarily. He wasn’t exactly mad or annoyed, just shaken up. “Foolish...it’s nearly one in the morning! What are you doing here?”

“Just passing through the area!” The totem nodded. “I was wondering if you could have any spare lapis that you weren’t using? I need some for my summer home.”

“...Yeah, I should have some in a chest on the second floor in the tower left to the entrance of the castle.” The king said after a moment of thinking. “Grab as much as you need.”

“Got it! Thanks, old pal!” Foolish said before turning to leave the room.

“Old pal.”

Every time that nickname was brung up, Eret felt like he was being stabbed in the stomach.

Why. Couldn’t. He. Remember.

“...Foolish, wait.”

The other turned back around. “Yeah?”

“Can you...” Eret paused, struggling to find the right words. “Can you come back in here with me when you’re done? I wanted to talk with you about some stuff.”

“Oh, sure! No problem, buddy!” Foolish nodded with a grin before walking out the door and out of sight.

Once Foolish had left, Eret let out another long sigh, leaning down to pick up the book that he had been scared into dropping. The king mustered his strength to lift the book onto the table, as it was heavier than it looked. After taking off his crown and setting it on the table, Eret sat down, starting by looking through the table of contents.

Behavior of Withers. Wither Powers. Myths and Legends. Nothing about a wither cult. Damnit! Why was this so hard to find?

Myths and legends...maybe a cult would fall under that category? He flipped to the page where the section started, skimming through the first few paragraphs.

“I’m back!” Eret looked up to see Foolish making an entrance. The totem pulled out a chair and sat next to Eret. “You said you wanted to talk?”

“Um, yeah. That, and I want you to stay here and take a break from building.” Eret nodded.

Foolish groaned, slouching in the chair. “But Eret, I want to build! I have so much energy, I could build so much right now.”

“You’ve been building almost daily ever since you got here, you need to take time to rest.” The king rolled his eyes with a smile.

“...Fine.” He sighs, playing it up and not actually upset. Well, he was a little bummed, but Eret was right, he needed to rest. His eyes averted to look at the book on the table. “What’cha looking at?”

Eret looks up as his friend, then back at the book. “Well, I wanted to do some research on what you mentioned to me a while ago. About...a wither cult.”

Foolish blinked in surprise, before leaning over and examining the book. “...Myths and Legends? No, that’s not right.” Without hesitation, he stood up and started quickly flipping through the pages. Eret let out a small gasp of surprise, but didn’t question anything. After about a minute, Foolish sat back down. The book was now open to a page with some gibberish writing as a chapter title.

“I...What?!” Eret examined the page, unsure of what information it had to offer. “Foolish? How did you-“

“Eret. I’ve been alive for years, I’ve had plenty of time to do some light reading.” The totem interrupted, a sarcastic tone in his voice.

“Whatever you say.” Eret mumbled, starting to read the first paragraph. Despite the title, this section of the book was in english, and started with talk about an ancient being named Ronan. Foolish looked over his shoulder as Eret repeated the words from the book into his head.

“Anything of memory coming to you, old pal?” Foolish asked out of curiosity.

“Old pal.”

Damnit, that stab was there again.

“...No. I can’t recall any of this at all.” Eret said calmly, trying to hide his frustration. “So, apparently we fought against this...this Ronan guy and his army of cultists?”

“Yep! That’s the guy! Leader of the Wither Cult. Never liked him, still don’t like him.” Foolish nodded. “...You’re sure you don’t remember anything?”

“Nope.”

“Hmm...that sucks.” Foolish’s eyes averted to the lantern on the ceiling. “We had some epic battles. Definitely worth remembering, I’d say.”

Eret raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yeah! You were pretty good with a sword back in the day.” He nodded, then sighed. “I just wish you could remember it all.”

“You and me both.” The king agreed, looking back at the pages of the book.

“Back then, it was awesome. On the battlefield, we were a force to be reckoned with! With your sword and my lightning, we were unstoppable.” Foolish spoke, reminiscing about the past. “And even when we weren’t taking down a cult, we were still pals! We would practice sparing together, go on adventures, scale mountains, and...”

Eret looked up, taking notice of his friend trailing off. “...And? And what?”

Foolish paused, looking around at the castle walls. “Eret...are these walls soundproof?”

“What?” That was quite the peculiar question to ask. However, Foolish was a peculiar character, this was nothing new. “I don’t believe they are, why do you ask?”

“Just curious.” Foolish shrugged, before standing up from his chair. “Alright, I need you to stand up for a second.”

Eret obeyed, standing up and pushing his chair in. “Are you...taking me somewhere?” He asked.

“Good guess, but no. I’m gonna bring up some old memories, but you have to trust me. Do you trust me, Eret?” The king nodded, and a small smirk grew on Foolish’s face. “Okay, now I need you to lift up your arms, above your head, and close your eyes.”

“I need to what?” Eret asked, intrigued, but clearly confused.

“I promise you, just trust me on this one.”

Eret hesitated, then closed his eyes while slowly moving his arms upwards. “What are you going to do, arrest me?” He asked sarcastically, letting out a chuckle.

“Hmm, no.” Foolish shrugged, stepping closer towards Eret. “Instead, I’m gonna do...THIS!”

Eret’s eyes shot right open after Foolish’s plan was put into motion. His arms shot straight down as he could feel the hallows of his armpits being scribbled upon. “W-WAIT! Fohoholihish what are you dOHOHING?!” He asked, his voice filled with small snickers and giggles.

“We used to have tickle fights all the time back in the day! Don’t you remember?” The totem asked.

“Nohoho, I dohohohon’t!” Eret said back as the other once again shrugged.

“Really? Aw man, I guess I’ll just have to help you remember!” He grinned, moving his hands down to Eret’s sides, causing him to double over laughing. Eret tried to get away by slithering out of his grasp and moving closer to the floor, but Foolish was quick to lightly tackle him onto the ground, scribbling at his sides and stomach.

“The old “sneak onto the ground” strategy, eh? Nice try, but you’ve already used that against me tons of times back in the day! Don’t think I don’t know your hidden plans!” Foolish grinned, teasing the other.

“DAHAHAMIHIT!” Eret shouted, the laughter spewing out of his mouth and filling the library. He wanted to be quiet and not risk anyone waking up, but it was just too hard with Foolish absolutely destroying him at the moment.

“Remembering anything now?”

“Mahahaybehe I could thihihink and fohohohocuhuhus wihihithohout youou TIHIHICKLIHING MEHEHEHE!” Eret’s laughter pitched upwards when Foolish started to stretch and knead at the kings hips. Who knew some tickling could reduce a powerful ruler into a squealing mess on the floor? Foolish knew, and he had been waiting for the perfect time to use this information to his advantage. He didn’t even want anything like a confession of some sorts, or something like that. He just wanted to see his friend smiling again!

“Wait, I know just what will jog your memory!” Keeping one hand on Eret’s hip, Foolish hovered the other one over the king’s ribcage. Eret, who’s laughter had died down a little bit, immediately noticed this.

“Fohoholish. Foolish.” Eret tried to sound intimidating, but the giggles escaping from his mouth made it hard take him seriously. “Foolish, no.”

“Foolish, YES.” He now hovered both hands over Eret’s ribs, anticipating him for what was next to happen.

“Foolish, I swear. Do not.” Eret repeated. “Foolish. Wait, we can talk this out. You don’t need to do this. You don’t- Foolish wait. Foolish- Foolish wAIAIAIHAIT!”

Wheezy cackling filled the air as Eret’s worst spot was targeted. Foolish skittered his fingers all over Eret’s ribs, playing them like a piano to see what spots were the worst. Anytime Foolish spot found a good spot, he would zone in on it and drill his fingers into the spot, making Eret’s laughter even louder, higher-pitched, and wheezier than before. After switching to scribbling at his stomach once again for a couple extra moments, Foolish stopped, giving his friend the time that he needed to breathe.

“You doin’ okay, old pal?” He asked with a grin, laying down next to Eret on the castle floor. “Hopefully I didn’t overdo anything.”

“No...yohohou’re fihine.” The other looked at the ceiling, still a bit giggly.

“Old pal.”

That stabbing feeling. It wasn’t there anymore.

Foolish frowned, just a bit. “So...nothing came to you during that? No memories?”

“No memories.” Eret repeated with a breathy sigh. A silence formed between them for a moment until Foolish spoke up again.

“Y’know, honestly? Who cares about old memories?”

“...What?”

“I mean, sure, we can dwell on the past. Or, we can look forward to the present and future.” Foolish continued. “Obviously, I want you to remember stuff as much as you want to, but maybe, for now, we should focus on making new memories instead of focusing on old ones. We could have our adventures again, and you hopefully won’t forget about them this time!”

“I...I suppose you’re right.” Eret nodded, sitting up after taking enough time to catch his breath. “It would be nice to know more about what happened back in the old days, but...it would also be nice to focus on what’s happening in the world now.”

“See? Exactly!” Foolish agreed, standing up and reaching a hand out to help Eret off of the floor. “We can make a ton of new memories, like how I just wrecked you.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll definitely remember that, so you should watch your back.” Eret chuckled, playfully sending a jab into Foolish’s side. The totem yelped in surprise, instinctively backing away. Another silence formed between them, both registering what had just happened into their minds.

“...Oh! Well, would you look at the time! I have to get back to building, it was very lovely talking to you Eret!” Foolish sputtered out, turning around and heading towards the door.

“You shouldn’t be building this late at night! You can stay here and rest more!”

“Nope! Nope Nope Nope. I’ve already rested enough.”

“Are you sure about that?” Eret playfully raised and eyebrow and started to follow the other.

“Yes, I’m very sure. Bye Eret!” Before the king could get a chance to speak again, Foolish closed the door on him. Eret let out a small laugh under his breath, waiting for a moment until he opened the door.

“Foolish, wait, relax.” He said, watching the totem hybrid turn around as he was leaving. “In all seriousness...thank you for stopping by. It really means a lot, even if it was at one in the morning and I may have waken someone up.”

“It’s no problem, Eret. Anytime, I’m happy to help.” The other nodded. “Just call me over if you need anything in the future.”

“Of course...” Eret paused before finishing his goodbye. “I’ll see you soon, old pal.”

Foolish paused, a soft grin forming on his face. He couldn’t remember how long it had been since Eret had called him that.

“Right back at ya, buddy.” He said to the other before waving goodbye.

And with that, Eret closed the door and headed back into the library. He had no idea what time it was. What he did know was that he had more knowledge about the wither cult than he previously did earlier that night, a stronger bond with his old friend, and the knowledge that in the morning, someone might tell him about hearing strange laughter in the middle of the night.

#dawn writes #lee!eret #ler!foolish #c!eret #c!foolish #dsmp tickle #they’re old pals your honor #this took so long goodbye #👑 eret: eyeless monarchy #🦈 foolish: totem of undying

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starr-fall-knight-rise · 4 years ago

Text

HASO, “An Unknown Void.”

Hope you all enjoy your day today.

The deep blackness of space surrounded him, or it seemed t, with the lights on the bridge dimed and the blast shield lifted from the wind screen, he could see nothing, well, there was the occasional star in the sky, but according to star charts, this place was supposed to be the darkest in the known universe.

He reached down and tilted the ship slightly to the side to give a better view for the onboard telescopes. Scientists had a theory that this place wasn’t nearly as dark as it looked. A couple thousand years ago the Hubble telescope had been turned towards the darkest portion of the sky they could see, and returned with the Hubble deep space images depicting thousands if not trillions of unknown stars that had been invisible to the naked eye and inferior ground telescopes. He expected to see the same thing here.

Adam was not himself a scientist, though he tried his best to keep informed and educated on as many subjects as possible. Partially It Was due to his overwhelming desire for self improvement, while another part of him, a more subconscious part of him had someone he desperately wanted to impress.

He reached down to open the comm line to the science division, “See anything?”

There was only a momentary pause before, “Give us just another minute sir. We are having to recalibrate the telescopes.”

“Oh, is something wrong?”

“We tried taking a picture but didn’t see anything. It was probably just a younger scientist who forgot to remove the lens covers. We should be good to go.”

There was a pause.

“That’s weird.”

“What?”

There was quiet for a long moment, “Sir, we are still seeing nothing. I think there might be some sort of malfunction….”

Adam shifted in his seat, “turn the telescope back behind us and see if it works in that direction.”

“Sir, how would the direction-”

“Just do it.”

There was another long, two minute pause before, “Sir…. the images are coming in and they look…. Fine…”

Adam wasn’t sure what to think, “His first instinct was to assume a blak hole or something was eating up all the light in the area, but blackholes were visible due to their event horizon, and their machines would have noticed the anomaly in gravitation even this far out.”

Then a thought struck him.

Had they reached the end of the Universe.

No no obviously that wasn’t the case, There were plenty of known galaxies and stars all around them. It was just this narrow speck of the cosmos that didn’t seem to have anything. Somehow that thought made him feel slightly woozy. Adam had never been susceptible to Cosmic Schock, but even he didn't find the thought of an endless black void to be particularly comforting.

“I don’t like it.”

The voice in his head nearly startled him out of his sea, and he frowned in annoyance as Conn floated into view just outside the ship window.

Adam was about to say something scathing to the starborn bust stopped as he saw conn floated with his back to the window staring out at the vast blackness. He reached a hand back to absently touch the screen as if grounding himself against the void. Adam stirred uneasily as he felt Conn’s walls slip. Suddenly his own head was filled with a brimming uneasiness spilling over from Conn himself.

The sensation was strange and unsettling. Conn usually kept his emotions under close wraps, but to see him falter like that was more than strange.

He felt a shiver crawl up his spine.

The starborn had spent his entire life in the void of space, so to have him disquieted by something in space was enough to make Adam nervous as well.

He motioned to his navigation specialist, “Give me a rout back to the nearest star system. Conn, get inside.”

The starborn only hesitated for a few moments before doing as told and floating around the side of the ship..

***

The bright lights blinked on and then off.

They tended to agree, something strange was going on. Their one large eye blinked once as more lights ran up and down the sides of their body.

They stared through the analysis screen but the readout indicated absolutely nothing. There was no detectable UV light, or unknown radiation except for the constant radiation and background frequency that was to be expected in space.

They turned the analysis screen back towards the beginning of the star field to make sure their machine was not simply malfunctioning. It had never done so before, but there was always a statistical likelihood that it might again.When the star field came into view, the screen suddenly erupted with a bright array of blinking lights all with scientific analysis ready for use. That was obviously strange, but they were sure that their equipment was now working. They were about to turn their attention back towards the dark field when something on the analysis caught their eye. It was a bright blinking light, much smaller than the rest but indicating that it was far closer. They zoomed in on that particular indicator and was suddenly pleased at what they found. The signature was familiar, a known mixture of nitrogen and oxygen inside an enclosed container run by fusion energy.

They turned over and floated back through the door and down the tight tunneled hallway.

Bright orange and yellow eyes blinked at them as they passed by the others, flashing their lateral lights in question. They would have answered the questions if the others if they were not hurrying to inform their comandante of their new neighbors

They floated through a hole in the ceiling, or floor as it might have been in any orientation ad met the comandante on the bridge.

They turned, “Zheyar, have you found anything.” Bright lights blinked up and down their body to indicate the question dimming and expanding at moments.

“The dark field is….. Still dark. I can get no readings from it, however it seems that we are not alone.”

Bright lights flashed down their body in response to the news, “Oh, lovely, is it anyone that we know.”

“I believe they are a member of the species we met in the ice field, the ones that put us in contact with the GA.”

There was another bright exchange of lights before the comandante made their decision, “We will have to greet them certainly.”

***

Adam was just prepping his ship for a short warp to the nearest star when their comms specialist suddenly bolted upright in her seat. She leaned forward for a moment pressing her headset against her head, “Sir, sir I have a signal… we are being hailed.” He sat up in his seat, “Way the hell out here. Analyse the signal and send it through.”

There was only a momentary pause before, “Sir, I… its transmitting like a Mike ship.”

Adam perked up, “Mikes! I love those big guys. Hold on, patch the through, and get the translation team up here as soon as you can, I’m gonna need those LEDs .”

It was only minutes later that he had the translation team up and running standing next to him and carefully placing illumination stickers up and down the sides of his body. The little LEDs would brighten and dm in connection with his voice in order to translate to the mikes.

The screen before him lit up and he was excited to see one of them floating on screen before him.

He smiled, “It is a pleasure to see your kind again.” The little colorful dots brightened and dimmed up the sides of his body flashing in bright neons as he spoke. It was only slightly distracting, but he was pleased to speak to the mikes after so long of not seeing tem.

“It is you!” The creature exclaimed emphasizing its enthusiasm with even brighter light.

“I am happy to see you after such a long time. We had assumed you had returned to your home world.”

The mike flashed lights up and down its body. There was no translation so he assumed it was some sort of gesture like a shrug or a shake of the head would be for humans, “We are sorry that we coil not take your GA’s invitation for a visit, but we did have a deadline to consider. We do promise that our monarchs have taken the offer into consideration and will be sending a delegation soon. We are very pleased at the idea of joining your coalition, though we have had so many things to do as of late.”

Adam’s enthusiasm was picked up by the brightness of the LED stickers, “I am personally very excited to hear that. I had hoped that you would take us up on our offer.” he Tried to avoid using his hands too much knowing that the movement of his arms might obscure the lights, “It seems of an almost astronomical coincidence that we should run into each other. There must be a reason.”

“I assume that you are looking at the same piece of dead space as we are, tell me has your scientific equipment been abl to detect what ours have not.”

Adam shook his head, “I am afraid we are getting no readings from the space, though i daresay our equipment is far less superior in comparison to yours.”

The mike flashd a little, “Sometimes simplicity can outmaneuver complex machines, though I see that we are both lost on that particular subject.”

Adam nodded, “Then I propose that we work together for the time being, I supply manpower and technology?”

“It would be a pleasure to work with you, andI must say that you have found quite an ingenious way to speak our language. Yo wear them well.”

He laughed, “You flatter me. We should dock our ships together if you are willing.”

“The pleasure is ours.”

***

It wasn’t more than a few light minutes later when they had docked themselves with the human ship. The cargo doors opened and a waft of wind equalized the pressure between their two ships. The air on the human ship was just slightly heavier making them sink just a few inches towards the floor, though it was of no concern. The humans were waiting for them, standing against the ground, forced to hold up their entire skeletal structures against gravity. It must have been exhausting for them, and likely took a lot of energy.

Their original analysis of humans indicated that a human would have to eat multiple times a day in order to keep up the energy required to move, but these humans seemed bright and awake and likely well fed. Their leader was waiting for them wearing those bright LED dots in order to communicate as did everyone else who stood with him.

They were surprised to find other aliens with him, and were both eager and interested to examine the strange creatures. They floated forward and were met by the humans who bowed low. Another creature floated around the corner of the wall, and the mikes pulled back in surprise.

One of the Star children.

The human seemed to have noticed their surprise.

“You've met the starborn before?”

“On a few occasions,though we weren't aware they had friendly relations with…. anyone .”

The human twitched its upper body strangely before letting the gesture fall, “he i about as friendly as it gets and that’s not saying much.”

The entire group of them shivered lightly as a cold presence washed over them, “Don’t listen to him, he has a hard time admitting how much he loves me. We have a daughter together you know.”

The human’s head snapped to look over at the starborn two eyes narrowing, “Shut the hell up conn, that is not the first thing you need to bring up in front of the company.’

The LED lights on his body flashed bright green with his anger.

The Mikes watched in fascination.

One of the other strange creatures, taller than the human and with another set of limbs stepped forward to Examine the Mike. Its coloring was brightly colored and quite pleasant. It examined them while they examined her, and soon enough she was surrounded by a swarm of poking and prodding at her joints and limbs and strange carapace. They had never seen anything like it before.

The creature took it gracefully enough though their leader to apologize. They did enjoy learning about new things and new creatures. They were completely harmless of course.

The human waved a hand at the dogs on his sides and arms blinking, “Don’t worry, she’d be happy to assist your scientists. If you would please follow me, we can show you how ur ship works see if there is anything that you find useful.

In the end the two groups took tours of each other’s ships, shared as much scientific information as was possible and then began their conjectures about the dark space which they had come across. The Mikes could not penetrate it with any of their equipment and neither could the humans determine that there was really only one way to explore what lay beyond.

They were going to have to go there themselves.

It was suggested that they simply warp to the center of the darkfield, but that thought was quickly discarded as it involved far too much danger. The human offered to fly his ship slowly out into the abyss while the mikes tracked them to see if their signal was lost at any point which they decided was a good course of action if not very reckless.

They were soon to learn that humans tended to be reckless anyway, which both scared them and gave them no small measure of admiration.

They would soon learn quite a bit about humans.

Though both parties were unaware of a stirring in the darkness. A stirring that was well aware of their presence.

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lunarfly · 3 years ago

Text

Hermione as Harry's Light (by Evaluna)

Hello! This is an essay written many years ago, before the release of HBP&DH. It doesn't belong to me so credits to the original writers(Evaluna, Turambar & Mad-I Moody)! It was written on the CoS forum, I'm not sure if it's still saved there but I have a word document with all of the essays. Anyways, this essay has no ship/character bashing. Again, this essay isn't written by me, but it's one of my favorites. Enjoy!

Quote by Mad-I Moody:

"1."Ron's mum's lit a fire in there [Harry's bedroom] and she's sent up sandwiches." -Hermione couldn't know that if she had immediately dashed up to Harry.

2. "Ron and Ginny say that you've been hiding from everyone since you got back from St. Mungo's." - She's obviously talked to them about this at some point between their arrival back from the hospital and her arrival at 12GP.

3. "The others have told me what you overheard last night on the Extendable Ears."

-Does this indicate that she's had time to talk to the other members of the Weasley clan? Sources point to yes!

Now, isn't it sensible to assume that, in the instances wherein Hermione talked to the Weasley family, she was, at least, thoughtful enough to ask about Mr. Weasley?

Saying Hermione came only to be with Harry cannot be true therefore, because:

1. She doesn't go to see him the MOMENT she comes through the door

2. She gets Harry right out of the sulking room and takes him into a room with Ron and Ginny, with whom she has quite obviously been talking.

3. There is no indication that she wants to be alone with Harry"

Mad-I: Disagree. Not just from a textual analysis standpoint; there we have each our own interpretation. My strongest disagreement comes from what I see as a critical ‘septology’ issue [overarching theme of all 7 books]: Harry overcoming his own internal darkness [despair, hopelessness, isolation] before able to wage and win [or overcome] the external darkness [Voldy, evil, fear, hatred and division]. See below post. IMO the Hermione as Lifeline or Light for Harry scene is representative of what Harry must confront and for what he must stand and fight:

--darkness and the battle of good over evil,

--despair [depression] and the battle of love over [here, self-] hatred,

--isolation and limitation [e.g., Harry imposes on himself a prison for his mind], and the battle of love as emanation over barriers, constraints, and perceptions

It begins with himself. And IMO it doesn’t end. But anyway, it progresses from there to encompass the world. On his own, this scene shows that Harry is vulnerable in that he needs a source of love [for himself] to sustain him; only then can Harry be a source of love [for the world] in his [upcoming and perhaps ongoing] battle with darkness. Harry needs love in this regard perhaps more than anyone else in the world, and yet he’s had very little of it, with Sirius mostly kept apart from Harry. Except for Hermione, who has always been there for Harry? With Hermione’s return, once more for Harry there is connection and hope, and the belief in unlimited horizons and potential - some would call it faith -- when with Hermione. For ship and for series, IMO, I believe that Harry’s ability to acknowledge his need for love [for me, this means for Hermione] is the first step on his path to the light.

What the scene does imply is that Hermione’s conversation with Ron and Ginny and the others’ [may include Fred and George as well] was extremely brief and in the majority focused firmly on Harry. So brief in span that the snow had not yet melted even after climbing the stairs and so focused on Harry and his situation that Hermione had the grasp on all the main details already when she first pounded on the door. This is a young woman on a *mission*. A mission to save Harry. Hermione reaches Harry and saves him from himself, from his dark side, from his own personal hell. I personally think this is one of the most critical scenes in the book for Harry and his battle for good over evil, probably the most important one. The battle is within as well as without, and Hermione is the bringer of light to balance his darkness, to bring balance to his soul AK and Earendil:[thanks for SF ref!] a soul is a universe in and of itself <kabbalah, so one could say Hermione is bringing balance to the universe, in this sense]. Some may say it is not romantic..er…well…to each. But it can certainly be argued that the light and dark imagery, in bringing light from darkness, in the balance they provide one another, in the give and take [in interactions, in providing insight [in this scene=hers/giving love to him through her actions when she comes] or providing courage [in this scene=his/accepting her love through his actions when he follows] between them are the yin and yang that represent in both religious and esoteric texts the love on many levels required for spiritual completion of the marriage of two [bodies and souls] as one, separate but together [again, see the smoky caduceus-like vision that Dumbledore views after Harry’s vision prior to their arrival at number 12, which is followed shortly thereafter by the arrival of Hermione.

With this, one can make a case for striking symbolic romantic and platonic love imagery simultaneously, as well, in terms of a soulmate love that is “complete” on an esoteric level, a bonding of body and soul, the material and spiritual. I see no inherent contradiction, probably because I’m not an ancient Greek philosopher named Aristotle. [‘What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies’. --Aristotle] The difference being that we in our day can allow for this kind of soulmate love

between a man and a woman, as well, and that we can allow love to exist on many different levels between a man and a woman, not just Eros or what the Greeks narrowly defined as romantic love. The esoteric concepts of a true bonding of souls between a man and woman did of course contain all of these forms of love, sealed with emotional, physical, and contractual public commitments intended to represent the bonding of two souls as one before God and heaven. IMO how can this scene not be important for Harry, particularly as we all know that love is critical to overcoming all that Voldy is and represents? And whatever type you feel exists them between them, IMO there is deep love. So in fact I think this can be argued strongly as a H/Hr scene. For those who disagree, nonetheless it’s all-good since a deep soul love exists regardless if it is ‘very’ platonic. This is, after all, just a hair’s breadth from ‘total consciousness’.

One more point I mentioned before that I want to bring up in context of reinforcing Hermione’s critical position as Harry’s Light, Lifeline, or Savior. Arguably, since Hermione is key to bringing Harry back from the edge [regardless of what comes later], IMO the larger symbolism is that Hermione is “the one” who will always save Harry from his greatest enemy - himself, his dark side. After that, and only after that, can Harry save the world. She will help him choose light [represented by…Hermione] over darkness [his own despair and hopelessness, his feelings of being unclean and unworthy]. Even I can see some traditional religious symbolism here, but there’s much esoteric symbolism as well. Nonetheless, Ron’s gift of…what, frankincense and myth? Is that why the perfume smelled unusual?... Ron’s gift only seemed to highlight his deeper, intuitive understanding [at some level] of Hermione’s fundamental importance to Harry. Yin and Yang. Inexorably intertwined - just thought I’d throw that in here as well! And for what purpose would Ron is shown as gifting her with such symbolic honor if not to perhaps choose to give his life for hers, thereby saving Harry’s light and thus saving them all. Particularly, if Ron betrays or obstructs Harry and Hermione [this may happen if Ron is rejected by Hermione or “loses” her to Harry, per 6th step scene, falling away from the path to Hermione's door], then Ron may sacrifice himself [from betrayal guilt] to save Harry and/or Hermione [same scene, where Ron falls at Harry's feet] thus restoring his character and his legacy in addition to doing his critical bit to save Hermione &/or Harry [=the world].

(Turambar) I agree that the Christmas scene is one of the most significant in the book.

Just on what you said about the light/dark: it's interesting that JKR accentuates the extremities in various ways to bring out that contrast.

She uses biblical language - appropriate considering the timing - such as "unclean" and "possession" to describe Harry's self-disgust. His feelings of being unfit to be in the company of others brings another biblical image of the leper.

He completely isolates himself for a period rather than just behaves in a moody/angry fashion in company. He's "starving", cold.

Hermione is not mentioned at all from the time of the dream to her knocking on his door - an obvious device to enhance the surprise and impact of her arrival.

There's the imagery of evil (snake) and love (hippogriff) and as I've said before that suspicious dream occurs just when Harry is at his lowest ebb.

I agree with what FP said: the sequence shows the limitations of his relationship with the Weasleys and Sirius and conversely the growing significance to him of Hermione.

Both times he's considered running away when in a depressed state - here and before the First Task - the option has been to run to the barren, loveless Dursleys. To the house that's not a home and the family that isn't a family (to him). Both times he's got through the bad patch with a bit of help from Hermione.

#harry potter #harmione #harmony #harry and hermione #harry potter ships #hermione granger #hp ships #harry x hermione #harry/hermione #hermione and harry #hermione x harry #hermione/harry #harry potter series #harry potter books #hp #hhr #harry potter essay #harmione essay

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ikuzeminna · 4 years ago

Text

Scene Analysis - Heero’s Farewell

AKA The Helmet Scene

This is one of the most famous scenes in the entire series. And it’s certainly one of the most interesting as well, thanks to a number of factors. We have a mood change, we have Heero finally fulfilling his promise to Relena to bid her farewell, we have a clear picture of how their relationship has evolved throughout the series, we have a retcon of the previous episode to make this scene work and a million other things, frankly. So, let’s get to dissecting it.

First, the setup. The previous two episodes, episode 46 and 47, present us with a Heero who, in my opinion, acts a lot like during the beginning of the series. It may just be me, but he comes off as rather brusque. Sure, he and Relena may be throwing compliments at each other, but there is a curtness to his tone and the ordering around (”You’ll stay here with me”) that annoy me personally. When Relena initially asks him if he came for her he even deflects, claiming that Noin and the others are worried about her. Sure.

Again, I don’t like it.

If I had to guess, I’d say Ikeda’s intention of not making their relationship romantic but keeping it symbolic paired with being unable to write normal teenager relationships is at play here. I’m putting the blame on him since he is the director, but I may be wrong, so sorry if I am. In any case, the farewell between Heero and Relena is just a loaded glance. They don’t speak, there is a huge distance between them, they just look at each other meaningfully and then Heero gets ready to fight. It’s pretty much Earth and Space, ever at a distance, yet bound by ...uh, something.

Come episode 48, the other writers apparently bound and gagged Ikeda, locked him up in a closet and gave us take 2 of the farewell, which the fandom knows as the helmet scene. And it really shows that someone else was in charge during the last two episodes because we suddenly have the most gentle, most tender sounding Heero in the entire series, complete with sparkly eyes and teddy bears.

And this, I like because the point of Heero’s character arc is regaining his humanity. So having him act like in the beginning kinda ruins that. So thank you, person, who made these decisions.

To clarify, episode 47 has Relena in a dark hangar with her helmet in her hands looking up at Heero who is about to board Wing Zero. He then enters the cockpit and closes it. That’s apparently the end of their interaction. Come episode 48 though, the hangar is lit, the helmets are on and the cockpit is wide open for Relena to jump up and talk to Heero one last time.

And here we see the aforementioned mood change. Gone is Heero’s brusque tone and his weird reluctance to admit any kind of fondness or affection. Instead, he freaking pulls her in during the conversation, because an inch from your face is the ideal distance when speaking to a person apparently. And not just that; he is softly smiling at her the whole time and instead of making it an order, he gently asks her to let him go.

I trust everyone can see how glaringly different this is from their interaction in the previous two episodes.

And there is so much more still. In their conversation Heero reveals his newly made promise to protect Relena (and the Earth Sphere). This goes aaaall the way back to Cinq, where he initially told Quatre he didn’t see much sense in fighting for Relena or her country. Through the various events, he did end up protecting her though, then he was forced to attempt to assassinate her again as Chief Representative of Romefeller and now we are at the point where the peace Relena promises, or at least wants to fight for, is something that Heero believes in.

This is so important for his character because he was the guy who would spout stuff like peace only being the result of war and not believing in it. This is also the lesson he later tries to make Wufei see in their fight in Endless Waltz. Heero is not a soldier anymore at that point; he has become a normal kid who belongs to and wishes for a peaceful world. So yeah, very important moment here.

It really makes me wonder why anyone thought the loaded stare of ep. 47 was enough.

Even more so because here Heero finally fulfills the promise he made Relena back in Cinq: he bids her farewell before leaving. Back in Cinq, and frankly, in all their previous interactions, Heero would just up and leave without a word. It started in episode 6, it happened in 10 and again in Cinq when he went on the suicide mission to Luxembourg. And Relena didn’t even ask anything special of him. She just wanted him to let her know when he’d leave. She didn’t demand a reason, she didn’t want to give him permission, it was just a simple goodbye she wanted.

Yet, Heero does all of the above when they talk. He tells her why he leaves to fight, he asks her to let him go and when she refuses, thinking he is intending to kill himself again for the billionth time, Heero shines even more light on his character development by telling her to believe in him. He isn’t trying to die on the battlefield.

Heero pushes Relena out of the cockpit at this point and gives her a look that honestly creeps me out a little even to this day, as the cockpit closes and he maneuvers Wing Zero into position to take off. Relena, placated by his plea and stare, says the she does believe in him.

And then, because he may not plan to die but is prepared to do so nonetheless if it can bring peace, he actually holds up his end of the promise and tells her that which she previously wished to hear. And it’s wonderful, because he really shouldn’t have.

See, at this point Relena has witnessed and heard of seven attempts and brushes with death of Heero’s. On the beach, at the harbor, falling down the side of the hospital, blowing himself up with his Gundam, asking the Noventas to kill him, nearly getting slaughtered by Zechs and then later by the mobile dolls in Luxembourg, this girl has seen a lot with him. So it’s a very reasonable assumption of hers to think he would do the same thing again here and throw his life away. Which is why Heero has to assure her that’s not his intention.

But because he knows the risks, he knows this might be the last time they talk, so he kinda chickens out a bit there after that bold “believe in me” and bids her farewell nonetheless, just to be on the safe side, I assume. Because he later also tells her not to worry over him since his life isn’t worth much anyway.

And while getting her wish of hearing a goodbye should normally make her happy, Relena freaks here. Here he is, a friend she has known for a long time and who means a lot to her, as he was what gave her the strength to carry on after her father died, sounding like he isn’t going to return. And Relena is heartbroken because Heero is important to her. The parallels to her father show us how much Heero’s death would affect her.

Her crying out Heero’s name in that agonized manner isn’t meant to be taken romantically. This is a girl fearing her friend will die.

I really love this entire scene because it not only gives us heaps of character development and normal human interaction, which those two sorely lack, it also brings a bunch of stuff full circle, illustrates their personalities well and makes for another interesting break from traditions.

What I mean with the last point is that normally (or at least in the 90s), the guy is all business when he has to go out and fight, being all stoically manly about it, while the woman will be emotional and initiate one final time of intimacy, and the guy may respond before going off to battle. I have this overblown image of Chuck Norris, Steven Seagal, Clint Eastwood type of flicks in my head. You know, the manly stuff.

And here we have Gundam Wing, where Relena doesn’t even care about herself or her feelings for him, but instead is only concerned about Heero’s well-being. Which is why I would have totally bought Relena’s feelings for Heero being purely platonic had Endless Waltz with that super tender caress not happened.

Which also portrays her natural selflessness, in contrast to Heero’s credo of living life acting on your emotions. And boy does he act. He is very much cranking up the romance here with how close he pulls her to him and how very tenderly he speaks to her. Ship it or not, it’s obvious here he likes her. Which in turn tints all their previous interactions.

Ikeda might have wanted a purely symbolic relationship between them, but the geniuses behind this episode ruined that. They gave us Heero displaying his feelings for her, which in turn made all that came before a massive slow burn of sorts.

Hah.

This is something I find highly amusing personally. If you removed the helmet scene and that caress from Endless Waltz, I wouldn’t see it. But those two scenes are enough to make me believe there are feelings there and it’s amazing to see how little it takes to make me change my mind. Then again, Gundam Wing is big on subtlety so this is practically on par with screaming it from the rooftops.

But still, thank you. Thank you writers for inserting this scene and generally giving us two amazing final episodes. You hit all the right marks in my book.

#gundam wing #meta #analysis #extra large #episode 48 #heero yuy #relena peacecraft #1xr #episode 47 gave us too little #episode 48 kinda too much #but if I have the choice 48 it is #progress is always better than regression #and I ship it :P

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strangestcase · 3 years ago

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Bro I fucking hate the gothic lit fandom bc they just have like a million excuses for the gross shit they do and nobody can ever hold themselves accountable

Same here!

I love gothic literature but holy shit, it’s probably the most toxic cesspit of a fandom I’ve ever been in. Because everyone has this tendency to justify the bullshit that appears in the books such as racist tropes or incest, and if you tell them that’s gross and fucked up they’re like “well it’s canon! Imagine liking dark Romanticism and complaining about incest!” as if we’re supposed to agree with everything the author lays down... as if we have to take everything at face value! For a fandom based on literary analysis, some people can only see subtext if it’s gay.

I’ve seen them say “Romanticism is a movement of the grotesque therefore romanticizing pedo shit is okay!“ like sure Jan, go ahead, tell victims of CSA you think the hell they went through is desirable. I’ve seen people stan dead writers, ignore their antisemitic beliefs and the awful shit they’d do (ahem ahem OSCAR WILD ahem) and overall be very vicious. I’m not surprised a genre of fiction that’s already full of problematic elements (even when many times it’s to DENOUNCE THEM) attracts these sorts of people but their reading comprehension skills are fucking down the gutter to the point it’s baffling.

It’s amazing how the “they looked at each other angrily! they’re in love!” yaoi obsessed crowd has somehow gathered around literary classics that have already been butchered and misinterpreted thousands of times (and that def don’t need to be misinterpreted again, not even in a “gay” way).

When I complained about this back in my old blog, I’d get basically pissed on. I’d get angry comments and even hateful anons because how dare I tell them to tag their porn accordingly! How dare I criticize an adaptation they like! And then I still saw so so many posts that were all like “the jekyll and hyde fandom is so peaceful and devoid of drama” yeah because you fucking refuse to hold gross users accountable! Every day I saw gross users still be platformed! Only recently I’ve started to see jekyll and hyde fandom blocklists and callouts! And I’ve spent years seeing gross ships and bad takes fly about and almost no one listened to my critiques?!?!? How was I the one stirring up drama? By calling them out on their bs? How dare I be angry at users that fetishize my sexuality, right?

Like only a few months ago I got angry anons because I complained about the fatphobia and ageism in the jekyll and hyde fandom!

Because of this I’ve walked away from the gothic lit communities I used to frequent (looking back? some of them were... a little messed up...) and now I only stick to like... the three or four blogs that produce what to me is genuinely enjoyable gothic lit content (and that have healthy boundaries at that).

Sorry for the rant, I just have Thoughts and Opinions.

#gothic literature #gothic fiction #rant #long post

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schrijverr · 3 years ago

Text

'Till Death Do Us Part

Part 9 out of 13

When Alex has to bring Philip to work, he and Thomas discover that they both have something in common: they lost their love. They form an unexpected bond and connection about this that grows into something more.

A medium burn with parental feelings about Philip and flowers.

On AO3.

Ships: Jamilton

Warnings: very brief death mention

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 9: Ambrosia Means ‘Love Returned’

Alex woke up to Philip shaking him, he mumbled something and turned over in an attempt to get away from the waking hands. He hid against the warmth at his other side, faintly aware that the heat in question was Thomas.

“Papa,” a little voice called out.

“Wha?” he groaned groggily.

From the other side came a chuckle, then Thomas rich early morning voice came: “Hey, Pip, maybe let your Papa sleep a bit more. What do you need?”

“I’m hungry,” there was a pout in Phillips voice and Alex knew he would have to get up to feed his kid. He couldn't just ignore him if he was hungry, bored was another story, but hungry…

“Then I’ll make you some pancakes, kiddo,” Thomas voice was a savior.

“Really?” Philip asked, Alex usually didn’t make pancakes and they were a treat that Philip treasured.

“Yeah, really, I’ll be there in a sec,” Thomas promised and Alex heard Philip leave the room. He shifted and an arm came to drape over him then a kiss on his forehead. He snuggled closer to Thomas, who chuckled: “I have to go, you just sleep a bit more, okay?”

“Y’re a h’ro,” Alex mumbled, faintly hearing more laughter as he drifted away again along with the sounds of someone getting dressed.

When he awoke again, it was to Thomas gently shaking him and soft saying: “Hey, darlin’, I’m heading to Jemmy now, if you wanna get to Herc’s in time, you might need to consider getting up now.”

He blinked heavily, but opened his eyes, seeing Thomas’s crinkled eyes. He smiled back and sleepily said: “I’m up, I’m up.”

“I can see that,” Thomas grinned, pecking his nose then his lips, before getting up, “Have a good weekend and brush your teeth.”

Alex gave him a lazy thumbs up, before sitting up and rubbing his eyes. Slowly he made his way through his morning routine, happy to see Philip already dressed and well fed with a few left over pancakes for himself.

As he drank his second cup of coffee he spotted the flowers. A warmth flood through his body and he fished his phone out of is pocket to look up their meaning.

‘Declaration of love’

The world paused, but the words stayed unchanged. No matter how much he checked again, they remained bold and true.

Had Thomas not realized the relevance of the flowers? He’d said he’d seen them on his way back home, but he would have checked, just to be sure.

Right?

Neither of them had spoken those word out loud. Alex certainly felt them, but God, he was so scared of messing up on this first good thing since John’s death. He didn’t want to be the one to drive Thomas away by saying it first, but-

But what if Thomas felt the same?

What if this was his confession?

Thomas of all people understood why they were both so scared to say that they hadn’t, evenafter practically moving in together and caring for Philip together. Thomashad done that with only love and care.

Zero complaints.

Alex knew there was love in those actions. Love they both had allowed to be left unsaid, because saying it meant that it could be ripped away.

Maybe Thomas was ready to tell him, but didn’t want to give him that moment of pressure or face it if Alex wasn’t at that point. Maybe this was a tentative push to take a step both were ready for, while also being woefully unprepared.

God, what was he going to do?

He was pulled out of his thoughts by Philip who tugged on his sleeve and said: “Papa, you said we were leaving when the clock was at 11:15, it’s 11:10 now.”

“Ah, yeah, yeah,” he blinked and chugged his coffee, deciding that he would just ask Herc later today or in the evening when Philip was asleep.

When they got to Herc’s apartment he gathered Philip up in his arms and threw him in the air, catching him again and giving Alex a minor heart attack even though he had seen this go right many times before.

“How is my favorite nephew doing?” Herc asked Philip with a grin, “You doing okay at school, little man?”

“Uncle Herc!” Philip cheered, hugging Hercules tightly, before telling him that he was being very smart in his class and how he had very elaborated stories with his friends.

“That’s great, dude,” Herc smiled as he put him down, then he pulled Alex into a hug and asked: “And how have you been, man? Life treating you right? Thomas too?”

“Yeah he has, Herc,” Alex smiled into the other’s shoulder, relaxation washing over him in familiar and comforting arms. God, Herc gave the best hugs.

“Good to hear, good to hear,” Hercules nodded as he let them into the apartment.

Philip was delighted to visit his Uncle Herc again after he hadn’t been able to pick him up from school for a while due to the busy days. He spend most of his time breathlessly recalling everything his Uncle had missed, before pulling him into playing a story of his own making, which Herc in turn roped Alex in too.

It was a good day and Alex’s cheeks hurt from smiling by the time Herc was making them burgers for dinner.

“Really, what have you been up these past few days?” Alex asked, beer in hand and leaning against the counter while Philip busied himself with Lego's Herc had at his house for him.

“Been great, man,” Herc replied, “Taking advantage of the bit of freedom to play some games, you know. I’ve been helping out at the youth center too.”

“That’s so cool,” Alex nodded, “You seem happy.”

“I am, ‘Lexi, I am,” Herc agreed, “Never thought I’d make it this far, but look at me now.”

“I’m proud of you, Herc,” Alex told him, “You deserve all of this so much.”

“Come on, dude, no need to make me cry in my burgers,” Herc said in teasingly, but Alex felt the hint of truth in there, so he dropped it.

It was only after Herc – special request from Philip, who bluntly informed Alex that Herc had the coolest stories – had tucked Philip into the mattress on Herc’s floor that Alex brought up the flowers to him.

“So, what do you think?” he finished recounting his analysis of the flowers.

“I think that you’re overthinking it and you just need to go with your gut,” Herc told him.

“Yeah, but what if my gut is wrong?” Alex argued, “What if he really just saw them and thought it would be nice and now I’m making a mistake by telling him how I feel.”

“You can’t really go wrong by telling him how you feel, ‘Lex.”

“Yes, it can,” Alex protested, “Maybe he doesn’t feel the same or it’s too soon and everything will fall apart around me, I can’t have that. I’m not the one ruining it.”

“And maybe you ruin it by not engaging in it, Alexander. You can’t predict every outcome, but honesty is the best road. If he isn’t in this long haul, you better find out now, rather than later when both you and Pip are in too deep.”

Alex rubbed his forehead and groaned: “This is too fucking hard. I’m not made for this. Me and John worked. With him it was easy, I can’t do this. I can’t. I need to go.”

“No, you don’t.”

“But-”

“Alexander, listen to me and listen close, okay?”

Herc look at him intently and Alex nodded.

“Every since this between you and Thomas started you’ve been happier again. We all see it, okay. Even Burr commented on it when I was last picking up Pip after he played with Theo. If even Burr is willing to admit there is something, then there is something, okay?”

“I mean, I guess,” Alex knew he was right.

“You’re not giving this up just because you’re having a hard time with your emotions. And you don’t get to say that between you and John everything was always sunshine and rainbows, okay. I know you love him and that you remember the good stuff the most – and I want you too – but I had both of you on my couch plenty of times.”

“I know that, Herc, but with John I know how it ended. It had a happy ending – well, as happy as someone dying can be – with Thomas it’s just unknown. I don’t like not knowing things.”

“And that I know, ‘Lex,” Herc agreed, “But it’s pretty clear you both love each other, so saying it can only make you stronger. I promise you, it will be fine.”

“But what if it doesn’t?”

Herc took a deep breath and fought the urge to slap Alex and call him stupid. He knew what this all meant to him, but by God, was this just the height of dumbassery.

“You said it yourself that Thomas wouldn’t just buy the flowers without checking their meaning, he knows what he gave you,” Herc said, “You also know he knows you, he’ll know you will check too. If you don’t engage, he will think you don’t love him. And you do love him, right?”

“Yeah, I do, but-”

“Alex, my man, my dude, I am not sitting here and watching you get into some soap opera, romcom miscommunication plot line. I’m just not. I love you with my whole heart, but I am not watching that plot unfold,” and with that Herc had reached his stupid limit.

At Hercules’ outburst Alex paused and thought it over without mentally wantingto refute all of Herc’s points so that he wouldn’t have to face this.

“I’m stupid, you’re right,” he groaned, “Fuck, you’re right.”

“Thank you.”

“How will I tell him though?” Alex immediately found a new problem to stress about, making Herc roll his eyes fondly.

“Maybe just say: ‘Hey, love you’, like a normal person,” Herc shrugged, knowing Alex wouldn’t take his suggestion.

“No, I need to tell him he was a dick about telling me with flowers, because it made me stress about it all,” Alex shook his head, then his eyes lit up, “I’m gonna give him flowers too, put the ball back in his court. Ha, he should know who he’s playing against.”

“Drama queen, it’s not a game, you idiot.”

“Potey-to, potah-to,” Alex shrugged, waving his hand vaguely, “I’ll acknowledge the flowers he gave me, not say it outright, but imply it and based off his reaction words may or may not be spoken.”

“God, you’re an idiot,” Herc face palmed.

“But I am a genius idiot and you will put respect to that, Herc,” Alex grinned, with a plan in mind he could allow himself to relax again.

“Whatever, man,” Herc just told him, before pulling out a deck of cards, “Let’s just play some cards, alright? I still need you to tell me how you think frat boy khaki cargo shorts were okay.”

“They have pockets!”

“Not a good excuse,” he handed Alex the cars, “You deal.”

Alex shuffled and dealt the cards, letting Thomas drift out of his mind and focused on spending time with Herc.

The next day passed in quite a similar fashion and before Alex knew it he was driving to work on Monday morning with his own bouquet in the passenger seat.

He was feeling a bit jittery, but mostly excited to see Thomas again, it was crazy how quickly he’d gotten used to seeing him every day and how much he missed him in the past weekend. He quickly parked his car and walked into the building, happily noting that Thomas was already there.

Since he had to bring Philip to school from Herc’s house– the boy had pleaded and he hadn’t been able to say no – he was slightly later than normal, but this worked in his favor.

Walking down the hall, he took a deep breath in front of Thomas’s office, before throwing the door open and stating: “You cannot confess that to me in flower language and expect me to handle that in any way shape or form.”

Thomas startled loudly and clutched his chest as he processed the words and sight in front of him. Alex was holding out a bouquet of flowersthat Thomas recognized all too well, since he had studied flowers relating to love to form his own confession: ambrosia and moss rosebud.

He relaxed at the sight.

“I never pegged you to be the type to use someone’s own tricks against them, darling,” he smirked, leaning back in his chair.

He watched as Alex relaxed too and grinned: “Well, then you’ve underestimated how much of a petty bitch I can be, Jefferson.”

At that Thomas snorted and sighed: “Sometimes I wonder why I love you.”

It was the first time the words had been spoken out loud and both smiled instantly at them, even if they were meant to be a tease.

The atmosphere shifted and Alex put down the flowers before pulling Thomas in a hug and pecking his lips as he whispered against them: “Love you too.”

After a moment of quiet Alex whispered: “I missed you this weekend.”

“Missed you too.”

“Wanna come over tonight? Me and Pip are gonna make pasta.”

“I’d love that,” Thomas told the top of Alex’s head, which he was cradling gently. He just held Alex against him, not yet willing to let him go.

They just stood there for a long moment, until there was a knock on the door and both jumped apart, while Thomas called out: “Come in.”

“There you are,” the door opened to reveal Washington, who somehow managed to look both not amused at all, while at the same time very amused at their position.

“Sir,” Alex greeted, attempting casual. They weren’t doing anything improper, but he still felt like he should be guilty.

“You two were late for the meeting,” Washington informed them with a grin, “I think I can vouch for you, but I do need to be sure that we don’t have to have a conversation about office romance protocol.”

“Sir,” Alex squeaked.

While Thomas protested, mortified: “We weren’t-”

“I joke, I joke,” Washington assured them, “Come on, I have some documents you can pretend to carry, no one will ask. I know you two well enough to feel safe leaving you by yourself in a room at work,” there was a slight warning there and both nodded quickly.

As they walked behind Washington, Thomas hissed: “That was the most awkward thing ever and I’m blaming you.”

“Me? Why me? You were the one doing the hugging.”

“And you were the one with the flowers.”

“You started it.”

“I didn’t do it at work.”

“Oh please, you would have shit your pants if I hadn’t said anything all day.”

“True. Love you.”

There was a pause, then a sigh: “Love you too.”

They entered the meeting with happy matching grins and a lot of paperwork. It was crazy how they had confessed their love moments before and they were now yelling at each other about whether or not they should start a branch in France.

Alex grinned and looked Thomas straight in the eyes as he refuted his best argument with a bit of company policy he had dug up from God knows where. He saw Thomas scowl, before rolling his eyes and smirking back.

As Thomas walked by on his way out, he stopped by to say: “You’re a fucking scoundrel and I will refute you next time, dick.”

“Love to see you try, Tommy,” Alex replied, “Wanna get lunch?”

“Hell yeah, I do.”

They ate lunch together, but after that the day moved pretty quickly and when Thomas got home to Alex and Philip in the kitchen with Alex attempting to teach Philip to make pasta, he hadn’t seen him all day.

Thomas stopped in the doorway and watched the two for a while. Alex was standing behind Philip at the counter, guiding his hand with a knife as they cut a few tomatoes.

After a few moments of watching, Alex looked up and spotted him. He raised a brow: “How long have you been lurking there, creeper?”

“Long enough to fully appreciate the view,” he smiled back.

“Uncle Thomas!” Philip called out, “Papa is teaching me how to cook!”

“I can see that, kiddo. Next time I have to cook, I know who to call to do it for me,” Thomas told him.

Philip looked incredibly proud of himself as he nodded: “I will be the best cook.”

“Well, Mr. Master Chef, don’t you think you need to watch where you put the knife?” Alex intercepted the little hand that was about to start waving the big knife around.

“Ah, yes, Papa,” Philip said apologetically.

“No problem, buddy, just be careful around the sharp objects,” Alex ruffled his hair.

In that time, Thomas had walked over and kissed both on their forehead. He told Alex: “Hey, your afternoon okay?”

“Yeah, it’s been, you know, emails and stuff.”

“God, do I know,” Thomas grimaced in sympathy, “How ‘bout you, Pip?”

“It was good, we did crafts today,” Philip informed him.

“Really?”

“Yeah, we had lots of glitter. Me and Theo made a glitter-man together,” Philip said excitedly, “We named him George and he came to life and started to chase us and I got shot, but it was okay because Theo brought me back to life with a paper confetti spell.”

“Oh wow,” Thomas said, feeling bad for Ms. Dolley, who likely had been the one to clean that up.

After dinner Philip played a bit more until bed time, not that Philip really wanted to go to bed when Alex announced it. “But Papa, I still need to charge the castle,” he pouted.

“The castle will still be there in the morning, Pip,” Alex told him, “Besides, castle sieges are best done in the morning, when then troops are well rested and the guards tired.”

Philip looked between his toys and his Papa, then protested: “But all the troops are already in place, calling it off would give away their position.”

Alex sighed and rubbed his brow. He hated having to be stern to Pip, but he had already been so lenient the weekend at Herc’s, so he really couldn't let him get away with it if he wanted to have a bit of credibility later.

“That sucks, buddy. I know you wanna keep playing, but you need to go to sleep,” he squatted next to Pip, “You have school tomorrow and it’s already late. There are a few rules and I made them with your well being in mind, so I’m sorry, but it’s bedtime now.”

It looked as if Philip was on the fence and just needed a small push, so Thomas interjected: “We can read another chapter of the Ranger Apprentice.”

At that Philip lit up and he started to put his toys away, while Alex mouthed to Thomas: “Thank you.”

Thomas got off the couch and asked: “Do you want me to tuck him in?”

“Would you do that?” Alex asked, “Sorry, the whole weekend was busy, fun but busy, and today Adams came by my office and I’m just tired.”

“Hey, no problem, love you.”

“Love you too.”

Both were so excited about saying it and Thomas couldn't help but kiss Alex, before turning to Philip and clapping his hands: “Okay, let’s get this show on the road, wanna race to the bathroom?” and with that they were off while Alex collapsed on the couch.

After an hour Thomas came back and plopped down next to Alex and said: “Your child is just as manipulative as you.”

“What did he get you to do?” Alex asked with an amused look.

“We read two chapter, because it ended on a cliffhanger and he knows I’m invested too and he has pleading eyes and I feel like he’s aware of it,” Thomas pouted.

Alex laughed and draped himself over Thomas, saying: “I will claim no responsibility for that, he has Johns eyes.” “God, then I get why you got with him,” Thomas informed him, making Alex giggle, then Thomas added, “But he definitely has your people reading skills and he knows when to use them.”

“Yeah probably,” Alex agreed, sounding proud.

“He’s also going to use that against you, you realize that, right?” Thomas asked him, when he heard the tone.

“Oh, he already does,” Alex grinned, “I just have to learn to tell him no or hope he will listen to reason and agree with me.”

“Oh my God,” Thomas snorted.

“You know you love me,” Alex singsonged.

“Sadly.”

“Rude.”

They fell quiet for a moment, then Thomas asked: “Wanna talk about Adams coming by your office, you didn’t say before, but you sounded stressed.”

“Nah, he was just being a dick, the usual,” Alex shrugged.

“I’m gonna punch him.”

“Please don’t, I’ve had enough awkward conversations with Washington about you for the rest of my life.”

“Enough?” Thomas sounded curious, “Was one enough?”

Alex blushed: “I’ve had two more.”

“Really?” there was an unnecessary amount of glee in Thomas’s voice in Alex’s opinion.

“Yeah, when I came over to you the first time, he was like ‘You and Thomas!?!?’ with a lot of suggestiveness and I had to be ‘oh, no sir, not like that,’ but then a while later it was like that and he did the eyebrow thing and said ‘I thought it wasn’t like that?’ and then I had to come back on my word. So yeah, awkward. I think he even gave me a shovel talk, but for both of us.”

Thomas laughed at him and Alex pouted: “You’re being a meanie.”

“Sorry, darlin’, still love you.”

“Yeah, love you too,” Alex said, it was quiet for a beat, then Alex asked: “What made you decide on now?”

“What?”

“I mean, why did you get the flowers now? Was there a reason?”

Thomas paused and thought about it, then said: “Uhm, picking up Philip from school, actually. The- the teacher referred to me as his parent and-”

“Oh, God, I’m sorry, I didn’t tell her that, if you’re uncomf-”

“Alex, how many times do I have to say that I don’t mind taking care of Pip. I enjoy hanging out with him, he’s a good kid and I don’t mind,” Thomas assured him.

“But-”

“No, buts,” he said sternly, “As I was going to say, after that I realized how much you two had made yourself at home in my heart and I didn’t really wanna loose that because I was too scared to tell you how much I love you.”

It was quiet for a moment and Thomas waited anxiously for Alex’s reply to his confession. Then softly Alex said: “Well, I’m glad you did.”

Relief washed over Thomas and he smiled, pulling Alex against his chest to that he could kiss him on the forehead. He replied: “Yeah, me too,” then he was reminded of his mostrecent call with his mother, which had increased after his birthday, and he added: “I did have another motivethough.”

Alex quirked a brow: “Really? Do enlighten me.”

“Well, my Ma has been nagging me a bit, she does it lovingly and embarrassingly,” Thomas said, “Since she has issued an invitation to you and Philip to come to Monticello with me over the summer and I promised her I’d ask you, but I didn’t.”

“So, telling me you loved me was your response?” Alex asked, curiously while also amused.

“I mean, based on your reaction to said declaration, it would be less scary to ask you to come,” Thomas shrugged.

“You- you want us to come?” Alex sounded insecure.

“Of course I’d want that, I just didn’t know if you would and I didn’t want to force you to come if you didn’t. My family can themselvesand there’s a fat chance at least one of my sisters, probably Mary,will be there and you’ll be interrogated by Ma, which is not only scary, but also embarrassing. Well, mostly for me, the embarrassment that is,” Thomas rambled.

“I’d love to go and I’m sure Pip would too,” Alex cut him off.

“You- you’re sure?” Thomas double checked.

“Yeah, I want to see baby pictures of you and hear embarrassing stories, that sounds great,” Alex grinned.

Thomas pushed him lightly: “Shut up. Ma is going to give you way too much food, I hope your know that.”

Alex’s eyes shone and he said: “Actually, I don’t mind, so ha, suck it.”

“Idiot,” Thomas told him fondly.

“It’s your idiot, idiot,” Alex grinned back.

After a beat Thomas said: “If you don’t wanna go or back you’ll tell me, right?”

“I will, promise,” Alex promised, “Don’t stress about it, I’ve heard you wax too much poetry about the Virginian countryside not to be curious.”

“Only if you’re sue.”

“I’ll ask Pip tomorrow, if he’s in, you can tell your mom.”

“Your not nervous at all?”

“If you want me to say no, you can.”

“No, no, no, I want you to come, but usually people find meeting parents a big deal and you are being very chill about it.”

“Ah, well, I guess it can never be as bad as when I met John’s parents, which was subsequently also the last time I eversaw them, and from what you told me about your mom, she sounds like a lovely lady and I think we can get along.”

“What happened when you met John’s parents? It sounds like there’s a story there.”

“Oef, that is a story and a half. Remember why they’re not in Pip’s life anymore?”

“Homophobic, transphobic assholes,” Thomas recalled, before going: “Ahh, I see.”

“Yeah, let’s just say that they didn’t appreciate me being the Alex John had told them about,” Alex said, “They hadn’t picked up on the gender neutral language and had decided that Alex could be a girl’s name, so that was a jikes.”

“I can’t even imagine.”

“Oh, no you can’t, my meeting them lasted twenty minutes, then me and John got a hotel,” Alex recounted, “We stayed in town just long enough for me to meet a few of his cool siblings before we left. Haven’t seen them since. It had been the last straw for John, so I respect that. I don’t even know if they’re aware of Philip’s existence.”

“Wow, that- that sure is something.”

Alex laughed at Thomas’s response: “Yeah, it is. Not really my go to party story, I gotta say,” Thomas snorted and Alex send him a pleading smile andsaid, “So, Designated Survivor? I wanna know what happens.”

Thomas looked and said: “And you say he got it all from John. But sure, I’m curious too.”

“Fuck yeah,” Alex went to set it up, “And don’t bash tested methods.”

“Dork.”

“Love you too.”

The next morning Alex was sipping coffee still in his pajamas while Philip ate his breakfast. Thomas came in, clothed for the day and freshly showered. He kissed Alex and said: “Love you, sleep well?”

“Hmm, yeah, love you too,” Alex hummed back, “You?”

“Yeah, good,” Thomas was a bit more awake, but not overly so, “How ‘bout you, kiddo? Have a good night?”

Philip studied the two of them, before he nodded: “I fought a dinosaur, but then he was nice and we were friends and explored, before we turned into eagles and became kings of a floating castle.”

“How nice.”

With Thomas there, Alex left Philip to shower and dress himself. It was relaxing how he could now do that after waking Philip up instead of having to do it way too early in the morning every day. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Philip on his own, but just to be sure.

When he came back it was rushing out the door. Thomas off to work while Alex drove Philip to school.

While they were in the car, Philip asked: “You said you love each other yesterday and this morning.”

“Astute observation,” Alex nodded, then glanced at Pip in the rear view mirror, “Means, well spotted,” he clarified, “Me and Thomas do love each other, we just started saying it now.”

“Why now?”

“Because it was all very new and now we both felt comfortable with it.”

“Didn’t you love each other before that?”

“We did, but sometimes we don’t say it yet,” Alex tried to think of an example, “Uhm, you know when you and Theo became friends, did you immediately say you were best friends?”

Philip thought about that, then shook his head: “No.”

“And why was that?”

“Because I didn’t know her long enough to be her best friend, but one day I felt I was and she was too and now were bestest friends.”

“Well, this was kind of like that for me and Thomas with saying ‘I love you,’” Alex explained.

“So you and Uncle Thomas are best friends?”

“A bit more than that buddy, think more like Auntie Eliza and Auntie Maria, but then a bit newer.” Alex said and Philip hummed thoughtfully then nodded in understanding.

They drove in silence for a bit more, then Alex said: “There was actually something I wanted to ask you, is that okay?”

“Yes, what is it, Papa?” Philip looked at him curiously.

“Well, Thomas invited us to come to Monticello in the summer break, would you like that?”

“What’s Mothello?”

“Monticello,” Alex corrected, “And it’s where he grew up, so we’ll be staying with his mother and maybe a few of his siblings. It might be more people you don’t know than you’re used to, so if you think it’s too scary we don’t have to go, alright. Just be honest with me.”

“Is his mom kind of like my grandma? Like Grandma Martha?” Philip asked.

Alex really hoped he wasn’t overstepping too much, when he answered: “In a way, I guess so, buddy,” it wasn’t as if the Schuyler parents hadn’t taken a liking to him as well. If it got too far he could fall back on that example, not pushing Thomas to be a dad.

Though, fuck ifwouldn’t thatbe amazing.

Philip seemed satisfied with his answer, because he said: “I wanna go.”

“Alright, buddy,” Alex replied, “If you’re sure, but if you want to think about it more, now is the time to say so, because otherwise I’ll tell Thomas okay and then it’ll be harder to say no later.”

“I’m sure,” Philip said with conviction, so Alex believed him.

“Then that’s a plan,” Alex smiled, before parking in front of the school and getting out to unbuckle Pip and let him go.

Once Philip was ready to go, Alex asked: “Am I getting a kiss?”

Philip gave him a kiss and Alex gave one back, before wishing Philip a good day and waving him off, making sure to keep watching until he had reached the doors of the school safely. On his way to them he saw him meet up with Theodosia and he smiled as the two kids greeted each other.

A quick scan and he saw Burr himself, he waved and the other nodded back politely, before both got in their cars and drove to work.

Burr was more an acquaintance than a friend, but it was funny how they kept running into each other. First in the army, then at college, before seeing each other at work (Burr worked in Public Relations) and finally running into each other at their kid’s school.

At work they rode the lift together, Burr getting off first, with surprisingly little fighting between them, though that was mostly due to Burr’s stoic politeness than Alex’s lack of trying.

He walked into the office and to the break room where Thomas handed him a cup of coffee as he said: “You need to stop drinking that much coffee.”

“And I love you too,” Alex loved this new way of ending a discussion, “Philip is in, by the way. He seemed excited about it.”

“That’s good to hear, I’ll call Ma tonight.”

“Cool, what are you doing today?”

“Probably not much, why?”

“Oh, just wondered if you were up for dinner at my place?” Alex asked nonchalantly.

He had been doing this more and more, Thomas noticed. At first he hadn’t paid it much mind, because Alex usually had a good reason and it wasn’t until he had spend a full week there once that he had noticed it.

Thomas was more at Alex’s place than his own.

Not that he minded, he thought it was sweet and if Alex was willing to take the lead there, he would gladly take it. He smiled: “Sure, we ended on a cliffhanger.”

“Which we?” Alex teased, “You and Pip with Ranger’s Apprenticeor us with Designated Survivor?”

“Would both be an acceptable answer?”

“Dork,” Alex said, before walking away to his office.

“That’s your dork, Mister,” Thomas called after him.

As he turned into the hall, he made a pirouette type movement, in which he blew Thomas a kiss and replied: “I know, don’t forget to call your mom.”

From the chair Angelica broke her silence: “God, you two are sickeningly sweet.”

“Jealousy isn’t a good look, Angie,” Thomas stuck out his tongue.

Angie stuck hers out in retaliation, before saying: “We need to catch up soon, okay? I’m thinking lunch and I want details, but now I have work to do. And so do you, don’t think I’ve forgotten that you still need to send me those files.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” Thomas saluted and quickly sped off, not wanting to face Angelica’s wrath.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N:

I am incapable of writing a miscommunication plot lines, just because I get too much second hand embarrassment from it. So, I shall acknowledge what could have happened and not do it, bc I will hurt my own feelings, lmao

Btw: “pirouette type movement” → think ‘water tribe’ from ATLA

The bouquet was ambrosia and moss rosebud, because ambrosia alone is boring, since it doesn’t have flowers. Moss rosebud means confession of love.

#RR writing #Hamilton #Hamilton AU #tw: death mention #Alexander Hamilton #Thomas Jefferson #Philip Hamilton #hercules mulligan #george washington #Jamilton #'Till Death Do Us Part #'Till Death Do Us Part Part 9 #'Till Death Do Us Part AU

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thegrandkinghimself · 4 years ago

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who is oikawa tooru?

i guess that’s a weird way to start off a post, considering just how popular oikawa is in this fandom. i’m absolutely certain that he’s still one of the most popular characters if i can take the #oikawasear trend on twitter a couple of weeks ago seriously. (i will be mourning that iwaoi is no longer the top ship in this fandom. it’s devastating to me on a personal level). and i can’t say that i’m any different, either, otherwise i wouldn’t have made this blog or this post. but i guess the reason i’ve been itching to write this is because i’ve been in this fandom--and more specifically, a fan of oikawa--for about four or five years now. i devour the content available, and i can assure you that i’ve read too many of the fanfictions on ao3 to be healthy, and never before have i seen a character whose characterization is so hotly disputed.

and i get it. he’s a complex person. he’s kind of awkward in that there is a very clear disconnect between his outward personality and who he is alone. it’s a very hard balance to strike, especially when you consider just how much conjecture goes on in his characterization among fans and in discourse. he’s really easy to project and certain traits, correct or otherwise, are amplified based off how authors perceive him. there’s plenty of presumptions that can be made based on his on-screen actions/thoughts/beliefs that can be taken to some very logical conclusions.

but i’ve also seen people write him in ways that don’t strike me as particularly truthful. he’s type casted into stereotypes that don’t do him justice, or made into something that is vaguely like oikawa, but not quite. in the following post, i’ll be trying to dispel misunderstandings of his character, if only for my own sanity.

tl;dr i think that oikawa is chronically one of the most misrepresented characters in fandom and i want to fix that

exclaimer: i am solely an anime-watcher; i have seen snippets of the manga and therefore have a general idea of what is going on.

let’s establish some very very basic stuff. just to keep it simple, i’m not going to talk about anything beyond what has been published via the anime (as of season four).

Oikawa Tooru | 及川徹

gender: male

d.o.b.: 1994.7.20. or 20 July, 1994

height: 184.3 cm

weight: 72.2 kg

occupation: high school 3rd year, class 6

position/number: setter, 1 (captain)

here’s something that’s never pointed out: oikawa is in class 6 which, if we go off the trend of every other school in haikyuu!!, means that he is in a college preparatory class aka he’s pretty dang smart. it’s not confirmed or anything, but it a. follows the trend of every other class 6 student and b. is the highest class available among seijoh 3rd years (classes 5, 3, and 1). don’t get the idea that he’s dumb or unintelligent, or even that his strengths only lie in the classroom because that would be a gross understatement of his skills.

anywho.

generally speaking, i like to start with the building blocks of his personality because there’s so much room for assumptions. here are the things that i think make up his core personality:

intelligence/knowledgeable: not only academically speaking, but he’s also well-versed in people. he knows how to play them--what will make someone more confident, more doubtful, what will help his teammates succeed. clearly, oikawa is very knowledgeable in human thought patterns. or he’s dedicated a lot of time to knowing them.

loyalty: of all of oikawa’s traits, i think this one gets talked about the least, but we know it to be true. we make jokes about “you should have come to shiratorizawa” but it really shows you exactly how loyal, how much trust, oikawa has in this team that he has spent three years shaping. he never stops believing in the work that he has put in, and especially the hard work that his teammates have put into their volleyball.

hardworking: one of the most well-known things about oikawa. most fans already know that his white knee pad is actually a knee brace. ‘nuff said. i salute you, good sir.

insecurity: oikawa’s insecurities are perhaps his most notable trait. in a sense, he’s sort of the underdog--so good, but never quite good enough to accomplish what he’s set out to do. and we know that he’s struggled with his doubts since junior high, literally since he was 12 or 13, and that’s informed all of his character from the moment he ran into ushijima. oikawa is someone who is defined by his insecurities.

oikawa is a lot of things. he’s introduced as someone who is very flamboyant--he’s built up by kageyama as the best setter, his senpai literally and figuratively, his initial shots are all of smug smiles and easy, unfaltering swagger in the face of this new team. even his theme, all rambunctious brass and jazzy, is meant to be all in your face, here’s the big boss! he’s someone who is petty and silly and seems to favor shallow conversation. but he’s oikawa, so there’s a surprising amount of depth in the little time that we have with him. there’s a reason that, in any other franchise, he’d probably be the protagonist.

he is someone full of contradictions. he’s childish and he spends time with a bunch of girls and is very clearly someone who likes to project a certain image of himself to the public (see: his cute lil’ humming run after his yell in s4e23 to make him seem kind of normal). but he’s also spent a lot of time with himself. in fact, if we take the few scenes we have of him alone and his bedroom (bare, spartan, meticulous) into account, oikawa actually is much more solemn and/or serious than the image he projects. he’s comfortable in the silences between all the white noise. he’s alright just being with iwaizumi. he allows himself to dwell on the past and his shortcomings, while also looking forward to the future. his ambition and passion to improve drive him, but his past failures weigh him down. they haunt him.

personally, i think that he’s naturally a pretty silly guy when given the chance. it’s not just for show. iwaizumi would even corroborate this à la oikawa’s introduction speech in s1. he likes having fun when he can with his friends. if we assume that oikawa is most himself with iwaizumi, then we definitely know that’s the case (see: “are you my mom, iwa-chan?”), and there’s nothing wrong with that. but i think that the most basic traits of his character, combined with his experiences in volleyball, have pushed him to be this person who is mired in doubt. it’s forced him to go down a path where something that he once loved for the fun of it has now become the source of his ire. it’s really just that simple. maybe in another life, things would be different and oikawa wouldn’t have to struggle as much. but that’s really just a part of the human experience, isn’t it? and, in all honesty, would we really love oikawa as much without all his vices?

and maybe this is getting into speculation, but i don’t think it’s a difficult argument to make that oikawa is really mature. he’s introspective. i say introspective because the revelations that he’s had in regards to his own strengths and weaknesses--those are things he’s had to confront and deal with since he was in junior high (starts at 12 years of age). it takes someone with a lot of maturity and self-awareness to realize those kinds of things about himself.

and he’s stronger than he gets credit for. most people depict him as a crybaby, but he’s really not. he doesn’t cry or give up in the face of ushijima or kageyama’s unfettered growth and successes, he doesn’t cry when faced with defeat. oikawa is there to support iwaizumi in his own doubt as ace, and lend support to his teammates. and oikawa doesn’t get stuck on the what-ifs or has-beens. driven by his infamous ambition, he looks forward to the future.

it’s kind of a double-edged sword. it’s pushed him this far--he’s put in this much effort to be one of the best in the prefecture--because of his competitive spirit, but it’s also something that has caused him serious injury. oikawa’s motto (”if you’re gonna to hit it, hit it until it breaks!”) is the very epitome of this mentality. it’s a message to work hard to finish what you started, but i also think that you could interpret that hard work breaking you, too. he’s steadfast—obsessive, really—to the point that oikawa will let his passions break him before he would ever give up. it’s the point of all the strife in his life, because he would never have the problems he does if he were even a little less enamored by this sport.

and you really have to wonder where he would be without ushijima and kageyama as his obstacles. his drive will always be there, that is an intrinsic part of him, as are the standards to which he holds himself, but you really have to wonder just how good oikawa would be if he didn’t have such direct competitors. this is an incredibly important question to ask about kageyama and oikawa in particular. yes, oikawa does loathe ushijima: for his disregard for oikawa’s decisions, for his disregard of oikawa’s loyalty, for his flippant attitude of seijoh, who oikawa has poured his blood and sweat into creating. but ushijima is an opposite hitter. oikawa is a setter. those are two very different positions with little crossover. but with kageyama--that is a clear rivalry. they push each other to be better, made all the more potent by their differences as players; one setter’s growth as a player directly impacts how the other performs in each subsequent game. seijoh’s defeat by karasuno in season 2 just feeds into oikawa’s drive for the future. he has not intention of giving up. a light was lit under him, pushing him forward, to do better, to be better.

this is something that has been pointed out in a different analysis (linked below) but, narratively speaking, oikawa is kageyama’s foil. their interactions inform their characters and are a major cause of tension in their development. their relationship is really the most complex in the story that i have noticed, and is something that has not been appreciated enough. the iwaizumi-oikawa thing has been expounded and studied in every facet possible (i love the alexander the great/hephaestion allusions), but it’s true that kageyama has impacted oikawa the most. they begrudgingly respect each other’s talents, what it is that they bring to the court, while also envying what the other has in spades that they do not. in oikawa’s case, his strength clearly lies in his interpersonal relationships--his ability to intuit exactly what his teammates need to be at their best. kags is just a fount of overwhelming technical skill who has a really hard time getting to know those around him. living up to the standards that oikawa places on himself, in tandem with kageyama threatening his position as setter, leave oikawa floundering, fearing his own incompetence against opponents who are naturally much better than he. so he’s left with the knowledge that maybe his best isn’t good enough, but he still continues on anyway. he pushes himself past a seemingly unreachable threshold just to go toe-to-toe with this monster. it’s the purpose of his character--to tell this story of the ordinary v. the extraordinary--and it is perhaps the most relatable arc that a story like haikyuu!! can tell.

their connection naturally causes oikawa to seek out help, seen in the flashback scenes where he is talking to an unspecified coach/adult. that coach’s words then become the creed upon which oikawa plays, maybe even more than what iwaizumi has taught him, and is the final push that completes oikawa’s character arc in s2ep24. that change in mindset allows oikawa to see kageyama’s unbridled talent not as an obstacle but as a challenge. it’s very nuanced, but it makes all the difference. it’s why, following seijoh’s defeat, oikawa has the audacity to declare to kageyama and ushijima his plans for the future. in a sense, karasuno and kageyama and ushijima have won the battle but not the war. it’s the tipping point in his story and, more than anything, what makes oikawa so compelling. we have seen what has led up to the change, but now we want to know what he’s going to do to meet that challenge. what will he be doing beyond the story when he is no longer relevant to the narrative? we don’t know the details at this point, but we know that oikawa’s love and ambition for volleyball have been reaffirmed in this moment.

but to bring it back, the kags-oiks connection also makes us question what it is we are watching, makes us as the audience think: what qualifies someone as a genius? are there any limitations to what that genius can do? what can ordinary people do in the face of those geniuses?

these are questions that exist beyond the reality of sports and transverse into other disciplines. for me, those are very real questions that i have had to ask myself as a musician. i have dedicated nine, almost 10, years to my practice but there are still 10-year-olds who are just better at it than i ever will be. part of it is time and practice to be sure, but some of it is just innate. and i think the more appropriate version of those questions would be this: what qualifies someone as a prodigy? are there limitations for prodigies? what can we do in the face of prodigies?

oikawa is a genius player--he knows the ins-and-outs of his sport better than anyone, and he can accomplish great feats that others in his same position can’t. but even with all that veritable experience and skill, he is ultimately still overtaken by a prodigy whose talents seem endless. it’s why he can hate ushijima but fear kageyama. one is something he can actively fight against, the other is inevitable.

and really, i think that’s the beauty of oikawa tooru, why he’s so beloved by the fandom, even years after he has stopped being relevant to the narrative. beyond the fluff and goofiness and hijinks, there’s someone there who is really, truly, human.

an aside with much less significance/why do people think this??

so here’s one thing: even though oikawa has fangirls, i wonder what he actually thinks of them. for one, it’s only natural for anyone to be super flattered if people think you’re hot stuff. that’s just... i don’t think he’s weird if he pays attention to them. but i think that people are conflating his being kind to them to being genuinely egotistical due to the attention. actually, i think these are opposing ideas and a contradiction of who oikawa is. when you’re an arrogant person, you think that you deserve all the attention you’re getting and you’re not going to bother with the people who worship you.

but that’s not at all what oikawa does. he’s rather kind to his fans. i would never say that he’s self-effacing, but knowing what you’re worth is different from being pompous. and think about it. it’d be a real jerk move for oikawa to not say nice things to them and thank his fangirls when they spend time, energy, and effort to make him food and see his games. he would just be a genuinely awful person if he didn’t at least give them thanks. it’d be more alarming if he didn’t talk to them, at least in my opinion. more than anything, we should consider this: why is it that oikawa has the fan club and not anyone else on the seijoh team? i’m sure a part of it is because he’s attractive and the captain of a team, but i think it’s more than that, too. we see these interactions from other perspectives, but i think that reflects more on those around oikawa than oikawa himself if they don’t understand why he acts the way he does with those girls.

another thing: i don’t think that anyone can question that oikawa is very pretty, or handsome, or whatever descriptor you would like. it’s prevalent in fandom (see: pretty setters squad), but he is also the only person in canon to be acknowledged by other characters as being particularly good-looking. maybe the miyas count at this point? i’m not sure. but i don’t really understand where people get the idea that he is particularly focused on his appearance, though. there is literally no indication of that from the material that i have seen. and maybe he uses that to his advantage with his fangirls, but i highly doubt that, in all honesty. i think that it’s fun to imagine him being into these things as a hobby, but it irks me greatly when i see that people spend time saying that oikawa wakes up extra early just to fix his hair or slather on foundation/concealer just to look presentable.

he’s a teenaged boy who clearly has other things that worry him, he’s a full-time student, and volunteers to coach at lil tykes volleyball classroom in his free time. he wouldn’t have time to spend on his hair or makeup. and we even seen in the hanger tooru special that he even wakes up looking like that.

he is au naturale, my friends. and we even know how little he gives thought to his own body, if you take into account his knee brace. for oikawa, his body is merely the medium through which he can accomplish his goals. we even have evidence of this when we see oikawa up all night studying karasuno game play or via his knee brace. he doesn’t know how to stop or understand when enough is enough. he breaks himself if there’s no one to watch him.

also, just... how would makeup work, logistically speaking? i don’t wear makeup, but i’m thinking that foundation and concealer and hair product would be, um, really bad. like, it’d run down his face and stuff. also, it’d probably get into his eyes, too? seriously. i’m not against oikawa wearing makeup in the slightest cause he’d be even prettier, but we know that oikawa would absolutely not jeopardize his chances in any way.

thank you for reading this long-winded, probably awful look into my favorite character of all time. and i do mean that. he is my favorite character in all of media. which, like, says a lot when he’s competing against the casts of a:tla, call me by your name, and my actual favorite book, the song of achilles. after all of that, if you would like another (better) analysis of oikawa’s character, i suggest this reddit thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/haikyuu/comments/94irsi/character_analysis_16_oikawa_tooru_discussion/

#oikawa tooru #haikyuu #character analysis #i'm so sorry about this #i just had to get this off of my chest #thanks for coming to my ted talk

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brynwrites · 5 years ago

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How to Write Non-binary Characters: Part III.

Visit PART ONE: the basics.

Visit PART TWO: the nitty gritty.

PART THREE: common pitfalls and easy fixes.

Here we'll cover some common situations where writing respectful non-binary characters can be trickier.

Writing Non-human Non-binary characters.

Non-human non-binary characters aren’t inherently disrespectful to non-binary people, but it can easily become negative representation when there are no non-binary humans present, because it implies that those with non-binary genders are less human (and usually more monstrous or more alien) than people with binary genders. You can read more about why this is a problem in this full analysis by Christine Prevas.

There's a very simple solution to this though: Write some non-binary humans. (Or, in the least, make it explicitly clear that non-binary humans exist, and are just as valid in their identity as anyone else.)

Writing Non-binary Villains.

This situation is very similar to the non-binary non-humans, but instead of implying that non-binary people are less human, it implies they are less moral, abnormal, depraved, or insane. Villainous figures in history have often have their villainy connected to or blamed on their non-gender conforming traits. We don't want to add to that clinging transphobic and homophobic belief with modern fiction.

As with non-binary non-humans, having non-villainous non-binary characters can go a long way in offsetting this, as well as not connecting (or letting characters within the world connnect) the villain's non-binary aspects with their perceived villainy. Instead of writing a non-binary villain, write a villain who also happens to be non-binary.

(On this note, I would be very cautious about writing villains who are being villainous because they've suffered from transphobia.)

Killing (your only) Non-binary Character.

This falls into the same category as the previous two sections, but it has just one solution: don't kill your story’s only non-binary or trans character. Just don't do it. If that character has to die to make the plot continue, let there be another primary non-binary or trans character in the story somewhere.

Writing “Coming Out” Scenes for Non-binary Characters.

Let's break this into two different types of coming out:

The casual, everyday coming out. This is the kind of coming out a non-binary person has to do every time they need to let new people in their lives know about their gender. If you're writing non-binary characters, you'll probably have to write some version of this at some point. It can be as simple as a character introducing themselves with their pronouns, wearing clothing or pins that say their pronouns, mentioning their identity casually, correcting someone's misuse of their pronouns, making a (respectful) joke involving gendered terminology (e.g. "I'm the king of monopoly today and the queen of monopoly tomorrow, but either way you're all going to lose!"), or a multitude of other ways.

While writing any setting that you create yourself (whether that's fantasy, science fiction, alternate history, etc), you can always do yourself a favor and work a method of identity presentation into the world building. Maybe in your fictional culture everyone wears a certain color accessory for certain gender identities or in your fictional boarding school the students all decided to introduce themselves with their pronouns no matter what gender they identity as.

The major, terrifying coming out. Often, this is the traditional coming out scene where the person sits down with family and tells their truth, even though they know things might turn out poorly. It might be the first time they've come out to anyone, or it might be that they've held off with certain important people in their life because they're afraid of those people's response. Be wary of writing out these scenes if you haven't lived through them yourself, because it's a very emotional and complex situation which, if represented poorly, can harm non-binary and trans people in real life. Sometimes though, you might want to allude to what happened during this scene because of its effect on the character!

Keep in mind that while there is much prejudice against non-binary (and trans) people in our world, that you don't have to include that in your stories. It is always the writer's decision to include transphobia and transphobic characters in what they write, as well as their responsibility to make sure that any transphobic inclusions are framed as the terrible, incorrect biases they are, and do not harm the trans and non-binary community.

Writing Non-binary Characters Discovering They’re Non-binary.

Realizing you're non-binary is often a long, emotional, and extremely personal experience. Unless you have a non-binary (or trans) co-writer or you've done an academic level of research, its best to leave these experiences to be written by the people you lived them, because there are many living people who have lived them, who will be effected by these stories on a very real, very personal level.

So, go write non-binary characters, but write them having adventures and falling in love instead.

Writing Societies Without Gender Binaries.

Because this is a huge topic where new pitfalls might appear at any moment do to the endless ways it can be used, the best thing to do if you're interested in writing it is to read speculative fiction from trans and non-binary authors and study the nuances of how they portray these societies, and, of course, always avoid the societal version of all the previous no-nos, like having only villainous or non-human non-binary societies.

Remember: when in doubt, get non-binary people to beta read your work.

Finally, here are two insanely easy ways to include non-binary representation in all your stories:

1. Give a character (or multiple characters!) they/them pronouns.

You don’t have to explain this. The character never needs to come out as non-binary. There doesn’t have to be a focus on whether they’re androgynous or not. You can keep it so simple that their description is just “Parker had brown hair and a hooked nose and when they smiled their eyes lit up,” and there you have a non-binary-coded character without having to do any work or research at all.

2. Have a character refer to their family member with gender neutral terms.

“Those are my sisters, my big brother, and my little sibling. We were on a skiing trip, but our step-parent came down with the flu so our father stayed back at the lodge and let our auntcle take us up the mountain.” Will any of these non-binary characters ever by in the story itself? Perhaps not. But it still shows that the author accepts the existence of non-binary people in their story’s world, and that the character speaking loves and respects the non-binary people in their family enough to refer to them in the ways those family members prefer.

Closing Words.

Non-binary people have had a long history of being ignored in Western stories. Having writers attempt to include respectful non-binary representation in their books is more important to us than having all that representation be perfect. So, write non-binary characters, find a few non-binary or trans readers to double check your work, and most importantly, and have fun.

While you’re at it, consider supporting non-binary writers writing ownvoices stories. If you don’t know of any, here’s the wikipedia list of the more famous authors and a little twitter thread with some lesser known voices. You can also purchase my debut novel, Our Bloody Pearl, a fun romp about a disabled, non-binary siren and a freckly pirate captain.

Stick around for a preview of Our Bloody Pearl....

SWELL BEGINNINGS

There is one thing I know for certain: We were right to hate the humans.

HUNGER HAUNTS ME like a bull shark. With every roll of the ship, the gunk inside my stagnant tub sloshes against my waist, stinging anew. The tight wooden room's stale air burns my lungs.

Steam whistles in the pipes that run along the walls, their copper gleaming in the dim ceiling light. My wrists throb where the metal cuffs locking me to the tub dig into my silver scales. The gill slits along my neck are clamped shut after a year without seawater and my head fins stick to my scalp like barnacles to rock.

I try to anchor myself with the memory of home, of fine sands and vibrant reefs, but I can barely recall the rush of the warm current or the thrill of the hunt. Even a single wrasse sounds like a feast now. Or a few human fingers.

At least I can still smell the sharp brine of the ocean. When the ship rocks, the small, circular window to my left reveals the sea rolling in an endless stretch of deep blue, begging me to return. The silhouette of an approaching vessel forms a blur on its horizon.

I squint at the hazy shape, but Captain Kian’s roar of irritation from an upper deck makes me recoil. My captor’s harsh voice is so loud it seems to shudder its way down my spine.

The new vessel leaves my sight as the ship I’m captive on—the Oyster—turns toward it. The steam stacks clatter to life somewhere beneath me. Fabric and metal wings stretch out from the sides of the Oyster, and the ship bursts forward, riding just above the crests of the waves.

The sudden change in speed shoves me backward, tossing up my putrid water. As the liquid recoils, it grazes my largest tail fin, lying limp over the far edge of the tub. For all the pain I suffer, I nearly forget my tail exists, its iridescent gleam washed away by the filth and grime of the tub. It must still be impaired from the massive, anchor-like weight my captor crushed it beneath when she first locked me here. I can’t bring myself to focus on its lifeless form for long. I wasn’t meant for this.

I need the sea.

Purchase the full novel on amazon, bookdepository, or kobo, or request it from your local library!

#writeblr #writers on tumblr #authors on tumblr #writing help #writing advice #writing resources #writing tips #writers on writing #amwriting #creative writing

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mermaidcashton · 4 years ago

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i hate to admit it

author: claire (@mermaidcashton) ship: michael clifford/reader prompt/AU: this is a gift for the wonderful @h0tsos who wanted soft, subby Michael in an enemies to lovers capacity (and i snuck some coffee shop!au in there as well, and some weebness because, well, it’s Steff and Michael) wordcount: 4k+ warnings: swearing, alcohol mentions, explicit sexual content a/n: • written for @maluminspace & @h0tsos ��s 5sos fic writers collab (which was a gift exchange this time around) • i do not give permission for this (or any of my writing) to be reposted, by anyone, on this or any other website. please don’t do it! • title from ‘this means war’ by mariana’s trench • ‘my hero academia’ is a manga/anime series. there are references to it and a few of the characters in this but you don’t need to know anything about it to understand what’s going on.

i hate to admit it *** “So, they’re like...superheroes?”

Luke sipped on his glass of rosé, nodding like he understood whilst making a face that showed he absolutely did not.

“Yeah, dude, pretty much!” Michael nodded along with your co-worker with so much enthusiasm he looked like one of those dogs people put on their dashboards. Except less cute. Wait, no - not cute. Definitely not cute at all. Good save, you. Couldn’t have your own internal monologue thinking you felt anything for the moron you were forced to work with 3 times a week was anything more than an annoyance you had to endure. With a butt that wouldn’t quit. Dammit, self!

Michael took advantage of Luke showing an interest in his (and yours) favourite anime, and began bombarding him with half baked theories, predictable favourite scenes and shitty character analysis. He nearly knocked his own hat off as he flailed his hands around in an attempt at explaining the dynamics of a battle from the second season. Luke smiled politely.

You snorted into your drink as you drained the last of it; you were definitely going to need another. If Michael started fanboying over Deku again, you were going to scream.

As you placed the empty bottle onto the wood of the coffee table, you took another glance around the apartment you were in. You’d never been up here before, despite spending a minimum of 20 hours a week in the coffee shop downstairs. But after this evening’s staff meeting tackling such issues as ‘who forgot that milk needs to be kept in the fridge overnight’ (Luke), ‘who is putting too much whipped cream on hot chocolates’ (Michael), and ‘who wrote ‘THIS COFFEE IS HOT, BUT U R HOTTER ❤ ) on a customers caramel macchiato’ (Luke again), Ashton had invited you all upstairs for a ‘employee chill’. You had been surprised a week or so into your employment when you had found out that the manager was also the owner who lived in the apartment above Screamin’ Beans; he was only in his mid twenties, but the more you’d experienced his drive and determination, the more your surprise had dwindled. Ashton really was a great guy, with one big flaw; Michael. They had been best friends for years, hence him moving into the apartment when he came back into town and the job Ashton had given him; which in your humble opinion was the equivalent of setting a monkey loose on the milk frother.

Michael had sealed his fate with you the same day he’d started work. He arrived 10 minutes late (from upstairs), sleepy eyed and shy smiled. His fluffy blonde hair was spilling out of his beanie, and he kept biting his very pink lip bottom with sharp little teeth. The way he pronounced your name was adorable. You’d burned your hand on the espresso machine. Strike one. Things unravelled quickly after that. He was ‘too shy’ to take orders and work the register so you were stuck there all day talking to goddamn customers about why it wasn’t a good idea to have 3 pumps of every syrup while he hid behind silver machinery and dirtied way more jugs than you deemed necessary. Strike two. And then he’d dropped a latté into that ladies bag - sorry, very expensive bag. Michael had let out a ‘uuuhhh’ sound like a malfunctioning robot without moving for so long that the furious customer had stopped trying to yell at him and focused her rage on you instead. When he had eventually come to whatever passed for his senses, Michael had power walked into the employee bathroom and didn’t return until Calum arrived to join the shift and assured him the woman had left, twenty minute later. You were beyond strikes. You’d been so sure you could talk Ashton into scheduling you together as little as possible. There was no reason to put you down to work nearly every shift together, especially shifts where only two staff were on! Except, apparently there was because he kept fucking doing it. Every time you pressed Ashton on it, he’d say something about how he needed Michael ‘trained by the best’, or ‘matching availabilities’, or he thought their ‘energies combined well; auras are meshing, y’know?’ The one might have been on you for catching him as he was returning from his Vibe Check Yoga class at the studio down the street.

He’d also emphasised that Michael needed more friends now he was back in the city, and you two had loads in common! You both liked pop punk! You’d rolled your eyes. And Italian food! A ‘tch noise. And anime! Okay, you’d bite.

The next time you’d gone into work, you’d engaged Michael in a conversation about ‘Tokyo Ghoul’ and recommended ‘Demon Slayer’; things started to pick up. You didn’t fantasise about locking Michael in the walk-in fridge the whole shift. And then…

“You watch ‘My Hero Academia’, right?” “Uh, yeah! I love it.” “Me too! I just ordered a Todoroki tee yesterday. And another Deku one, of course; gotta rep my main man!” “Oh..cool! He’s your favourite?” Of course Michael was a basic bitch. But hey, that’s fine. Deku was fine. He was the main character, after all. And he’s a little less whiny in the recent manga issues, you guess. And the way Michael’s face was right now - open, comfortable, lit up like the 4th of July? That was good, too. His eyes were so green. “Yeah! Who’s your favourite character?” “Well, I would die for a bunch of ‘em, but I’m a Bakugou girl at heart.” You laid a palm flat on your chest, choosing to ignore the feel of your heart beating faster than it had been five minutes ago beneath it. Michael wrinkled his nose. “Bakugou? But he’s like...he’s so mean! And angry!”

Oh no. You’d had this conversation before. You locked eyes with Michael, hoping he could see the warning in your eyes. Don’t do it, ho.

“Like, he’d probably make a better villain than hero!”

“You okay, boo?” Calum slid into the space on the couch beside you, holding out a fresh beer for you to take. “You look deep in thought.”

You hummed and accepted the bottle from him, letting go of your train of thought as you caught sight of Luke trying to prove he could get his overly long leg behind his head. Michael and Ashley F. were both actively trying to avoid getting kicked in the face with a sparkly boot, whilst Ashton was just monitoring the situation very intently; you’re not entirely sure when he last blinked.

You snorted again as Luke’s foot slotted into place in a position you were 85% sure he would not be able to get out of again without assistance, possibly from the emergency services.

“I’m fine. Gotta be one of us capable of thinking here, y’know.” You teased, looking sidelong at Calum. He laughed, rubbing a hand over his freshly shaved hair; he’d always been as easy to get along with as he was obnoxiously handsome. “Hey! You’re lucky I know you’re talking about the human pretzel over there! And I guess, your boyf-” Big brown eyes glittered at you over the hand you’d slapped over his mouth. “-fwendth.” Narrowing your own eyes at your friend, you hissed. “Shut up! I would rather die.” Calum waggled his eyebrows incessantly at you until you relented and dropped your hand. “You knew who I was talking about, though.” Ugh. Smug was not a good look on Calum. “You know, smug is not a good lo-oh fuck, is that the time?” The clock behind Calum’s head showed 8:58; your auction ended at 9:00. You fumbled into your bag for your phone, unlocking it and flicking straight to the app you needed. Phew - still the top bid. “Whatcha doin’?” Calum hooked his chin over your shoulder, blowing your hair out of his face before settling down.

“Bidded on a really cool, limited edition figure. One of my all time favourite anime characters. The auction is about to end.” You explained, making sure Calum could hear you other the cacophony of sounds associated with Luke trying to get his other leg behind his head. You both watched the seconds tick down, your username sitting securely by the words ‘Winning Bid’. At two seconds to nine, the page refreshed, then refreshed again; it was over.

‘Winning Bid: BIGRED69’ “Uh...what happened? That’s not you, right?” Calum asked, tilting his head to look at your face, and the rage it contained. BIGRED69. He’d done it again.

“Uh oh, Y/N - what’s wrong?” Ashton’s voice pulled you out of your internal screaming, and you looked up at him.

“She’s losing her weeb shit at a heavy eBay loss” Calum answered for you, nodding solemnly as he pulled away from you, giving you room to bonk him with a cushion. “Oh! That’s too bad, but that’s another thing you and Mikey have in common!” Ashton beamed. “Mikey!” Oh no. Oh no, no.

“Yeah?” Michael sloped over, getting his black boot caught on the corner of the leopard print rug as he did. Ashton caught him with an ease you suspected (knew) came from practice. “Why don’t you take Y/N to see your anime dolls? She collects them, too!” Ashton looked so pleased with himself and his suggestion for further ‘bonding’ for you and Michael, and Michael looked like he’d been force fed raw lemon at the phrase ‘anime dolls’, so you let it go on your own behalf. Except now Michael was waiting expectantly for you to follow him to his room and Calum was shoving you off of the couch to get you moving. Fuck your life. You sighed as you got up and started walking. “Fine, let’s go; you can show me your Todoroki body pillow and then we can get on with our lives.” Michael let out a small hiss like an angry kitten, his cheeks colouring a pretty pink. He spared a glance at everyone left in your wake. “I, um, don’t have a body pillow, you guys.” “Suuuuure!” You rolled your eyes, waiting for Michael to enter his bedroom so you could follow. The blonde flicked the light on and moved slightly further in so you could pass him, before shutting the door with a small ‘click’. You decided not to comment on this action, looking around at the posters on the walls and figurines on the shelves instead. You were undecided on whether or not you were going to comment on how cool a lot of Michael’s shit was. A ‘Full Metal Alchemist’ poster over his bed, a full shelf of Funko Pops from movies you loved, framed prints of album artwork by Waterparks and The Maine. Fuck. You were really aware of Michael staring at you with an almost hopeful (?) look on his face as you let your eyes travel around his room before he could show you his ‘anime dolls’. Fuck. Your stomach felt fluttery, and you thought you might have a serious problem here, before you caught sight of a very different problem on Michael’s desk.

A rare Kirishima Eijirou statue - box signed by the voice actor - you’d been outbid on last month. By BIGRED69. What were the chances a different one was sitting by Michael’s laptop?

“So,” You said, trying to keep your voice neutral and non-murderous. “Where do you get your collectibles from?” “Forbidden Planet, Tokyo Toys, eBay…” Michael rattled off, until you interrupted him. “Where did you get that one? Looks rare - it must have been difficult!”

“Oh! eBay! It was, but I have an app for it, so…” Michael grinned, looking pleased with himself. An app? “An automatic bidding app? You sniped me?! That’s cheating!” You squeaked; you could not believe this. It was unbelievable.

Michael blinked at you, head empty. “BIGRED69?!” You managed to make the world’s stupidest screen name sound like a terrible accusation. Which it was.

Comprehension dawned on his stupid, beautiful face all at once. “Oh my God! That was you that I’ve been fighting for this stuff? No way! But you didn’t know it was me?”

“Why the hell would I know it was you!” You threw your hands up, and Michael just stared dopily back at you.

“‘Bigred69?! Obviously I assumed you were 12!” Michael let out a squawk of protest, before folding his arms defensively across his chest.

“Clifford!” “What?” Michael’s tone became more insistent. “My last name! Clifford!” You pulled an exaggerated ‘so?!’ face, throwing your hand in the air again.

Michael had the unmitigated gall to huff, like you were the biggest idiot in the room; like he wasn’t always the biggest idiot in every room, all rooms, ever, in the history of rooms. “Clifford the Big Red Dog!” He said, insistence heavy in the words.

You often swore you could almost hear the old internet dial up tone trilling inside Michael’s brain when customers at the coffee shop asked him such difficult questions as “What dairy alternative milks do you carry?”, “Where is the bathroom?”, and even once - you swear - “What’s your name?”. In Michael’s defence, that last one had been asked in more flirtatious-than-not tone by a brunette who clearly had some kind of vision problem (he’d been dressed more horrendously than usual that day beneath his uniform apron; was that a utility vest?!), but had fluttered her eyelashes at your idiot colleague so hard, for so long, you’d been concerned she’d be leaving without what little vision she’d arrived with. But still. Idiot. Michael, not you. And yet, now it was you with your brain puttering through the information you had with the shrill electronic sound of the 90’s in your head. “Clifford the- are you for fucking real?” This could not be real life.

“It’s totally clever!” Michael asserted, continuing in earnest once you scoffed in reply. “No, listen! Because of Clifford, and also, I had red hair when I made it, and 69 is funny - it is! - and, well-” His face flushed slightly before he puffed his chest out a little, apparently deciding to commit to his defence of his screen name. “I’m big, so it works on like, loads of levels!”

This could not be happening to you. You were decidedly not standing in the bedroom of a coworker you simultaneously couldn’t stand and also couldn’t stop thinking about kissing as you restocked the counter fridges in the evenings, as he explained that his auction site handle was a combination of a previous dye job, an insinuation about his dick and a massive fucking dog. You could not let Michael have the upper hand here, but you were floundering. So you fell into more familiar, more pathetic territory.

“If you were called something like ‘deku-loving-loser’, then, sure - I would have known it was you!” “Who’s 12 now?!” “Uh, still you!” Okay, so this wasn’t your finest moment, but you were in it now. And you’d really wanted the Kaminari figure tonight. Michael didn’t even like him that much!

“The point is, you totally sniped me! And you get stuff about basic canon wrong! And your understanding of the characters is one dimensional! And, and...your hat is stupid!” Well, shit. In your defence, Michael’s hat was stupid. You could feel how hot your face was, and Michael’s eyes looking right at it was only making it worse. You couldn’t read his expression at all; he looked like he was searching for something, and you didn’t know what it was, or if he’d find it. You could only assume he had when he took the most decisive steps you’d ever seen him take, reaching you in two huge steps and cupping your face with both hands. Michael kissed in a way he didn’t do anything else; he felt sure and certain as he pressed his lips to yours, moving them with intent. Your brain became overtaken with television static almost immediately as you moved your mouth in time with his, opening your mouth immediately at the questioning press of his tongue. You had enough of yourself left aware to yank his stupid fucking hat off his head as you tangled your fingers in his blonde hair, Michael’s hands sliding down to clutch at your waist as you swayed with the kiss. As Michael pulled back ever so slightly, you took the opportunity to press your teeth into his plush bottom lip, the way you’d thought of doing in afternoon slumps on shift. The whine that came from deep in Michael’s throat made a split second decision for you.

You pulled back further from Michael, yanking your top off in one go and starting in on the buttons of his black shirt before he fully registered the sight of your bra and the top of your full breasts.

“Shit, Y/N, are you…” Michael trailed off as you pulled his sleeves down his arms, and the shirt off this body. Your eyes met his as you popped the button on his black jeans and placed your hand on his zipper. “Do you really want me to overthink this, Michael?” A moment’s pause, then he shook his head vigorously, leaning down to pull his boots off once you’d yanked his jeans to his knees. By the time he was left in his (funnily enough, black) boxer briefs, you’d discarded your own jeans and were knelt at the foot of his bed in your soft, lilac underwear. Michael’s breath hitched as his gaze drifted down your body, taking it all in under the artificial light of the room. “Get over here, Clifford…” You teased, trying not to second guess what was happening. Michael broke out of his trance and more or less threw himself onto the bed, settling his head on the pillows and pulling you on top of him for another kiss, and then another, and another. By the time you pulled back to catch your breath, your head was spinning. You braced yourself on your forearms on the bed, taking the time to admire Michael’s body beneath you.

You’d seen the tattoos on his pale, strong arms before, but they looked different in this context; the contrast between the milky skin and dark ink made your stomach swoop. The blonde hair on his head is also a contradiction; to the dark hair on his chest and the hair trailing down his stomach and disappearing under his waistband. Your mouth felt very dry as you let your gaze continue downward, to the straining bulge beneath the fabric.

You flicked your eyes back to meet Michael’s in question, your fingers suddenly resting on the waistband of his underwear. Michael swallowed thickly, and then nodded once before fixing you with a gaze of pure anticipation.

No use waiting around. You propped yourself up onto your knees over him and pulled on the fabric decisively, not stopping your motion until his underwear bunched up at his ankles. Holy shit.

You always knew Michael had to have at least one redeeming quality, and you’d finally found it. His cock was huge, hanging heavy and hard between his fuzzy thighs. The head was flushed the darkest pink you could ever remember seeing, and the slit was already shiny with precum.

If a voice in your head that sounded unfortunately like Calum pressed that Michael had lots of qualities you secretly found redeeming, you ignored it in favour of getting straight to business.

“FUCK! FUCKIN-”

Apparently, Michael hadn’t been prepared for you to take half of his impressive length into your mouth in one go. You sucked with intent, casting your eyes up to take in the sight of him. His pupils were already starting to blow, and you’d barely done anything. God, that was so sweet.

But then Michael threaded his fingers through your hair, his hand pressing ever so slightly into your scalp. The blonde wasn’t pushing down, but his grip was firm. You could feel the weight of his hand on the top of your head as you held his cock in your mouth, and that shit? Would not stand.

You grab the wrist brushing your hair a second before your other hand finds his idle one, fingers twisted loosely in the sheets. Once you’ve captured both wrists, you guide both to the same point above Michael’s hips, before slamming both into the mattress with purpose.

If you’d had time to think about it, you’re not sure how you would have expected Michael to react. He didn’t really put out the energy of a man who’d properly fight you for control, either in a domineering way or with more of an air of fragile masculinity. Perhaps a bit of questioning but ultimately compliant as long as he got his dick sucked. But the wanton moan that kicked out of Michael’s chest as you settled into a tight grip on his wrists where you had them pinned on the sheets with intent? That was unexpected. That was interesting.

Your mouth had remained still on his cock whilst you got his wrists pinned down, more cockwarming him than blowing him. But now you had him so pliant and under your control, it was go time. You pulled back up his cock, wrapping your lips tightly around the head of Michael’s cock, and sucked with gusto. Another groan from above you. You worked your tongue all the way around the head before pulling back enough to flick it into Michael’s sensitive slit. “Oh my fuuu- Y/N, God, I-” Michael was starting to writhe, his hairy legs rubbing into the sheets beneath you. You could feel his wrists moving along with the rest of his body, but you knew you’d made it clear you’d wanted him pinned, and he made no move to get his hand free. Good boy. You sank steadily back down Michael’s length, at least to the six inch mark, before pulling back up, hollowing your cheeks as you went. Back down a little further, then up, back to teasing the head, using your tongue. Michael couldn’t predict what you were going to do next, and it was clearly pushing all of his buttons. You could taste the precum that his cock kept kicking out into your mouth and throat, and see the flush spreading down his neck. By the time you’d pulled, drool beginning to build at the sides of your mouth, Michael was a mess, moaning as much as he was breathing. This could get addictive, you thought to yourself as you let your mouth drop to his balls, and your thumbs press into the pulse points on his wrists. You hummed before you released his left ball from your mouth with a wet pop, and that’s when Michael started begging. “Please, please, Y/N, I wanna-” he panted, cutting himself off over and over. “You’re so beautiful, lemme- God, fuck, it feels so amazing, you’re- I’ve been good, I’ll do anything, please…”

You pretend to consider his pleas as you dragged your tongue over his right ball, dipping into all the creases and leaving them wet behind you. Drawing back up onto your knees, you released one of his wrists so you could push his sweaty blonde bangs back from where it was plastered to his forehead, drinking in the vision before you. His green eyes were nearly completely black, blown out with arousal. The sheen on the skin of his face and body made him glow. His lips were chapped from his teeth tugging on them, and the pink of the matched the flush spread from his cheeks down his chest. And the wrist you were no longer restraining hadn’t moved a centimeter, still pressed firmly to the mattress. Michael was a good boy. And you knew how to treat good boys. With no preamble, you took Michael back into the wet heat of your mouth, relaxing your throat and not stopping until your nose was buried in the soft thatch of trimmed hair on his crotch. You took a moment to situate yourself and enjoy the deep whines bursting out of Michael’s throat into the quiet of his bedroom, before you began to move again, swallowing around his cock. You saw his thighs begin to tremble to the side of you before you heard him speak. “Fuck, fuck, Y/N, please, I’m gonna-” You hummed as hard as you could, pushing Michael’s wrists with that little bit more force into the bed as you did. Michael let out his loudest whine yet - bordering on a sob- as he came, shooting down your throat as he writhed beneath you.

You swallowed everything he gave you, and when you were sure he was finished, you pulled off slowly, and gently, releasing his wrists as you stood back up on your knees.

Michael looked blissed out, staring dreamily up at you with bright, adoring eyes. He still was yet to move his hands. “Hey.” “Hi.” You smirked down at him. “I believe I heard something about you’d ‘do anything’?” You shot a quick glance at the figurine on his desk, and down at yourself. “I had some ideas…”

collab masterlist • my masterlist

#5sos writing collab #my writing #mermaidcashton #5sos fic #5 seconds of summer fic #5sos #5 seconds of summer #michael clifford #michael 5sos #michael clifford x reader #michael 5 sos x reader #5sos x reader #michael clifford fic #michael 5sos fic

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notesofarichlycolorednight · 4 years ago

Text

it’s taken me a while but here we are!! listened to bloodwater ballad [TUMBLR | SOUNDCLOUD] by @gerrydelano so I’m gonna dive (ha, dive, get it?) into some analysis even tho I haven’t taken a proper English class since AP English Lit in high school and the god complex it gave me has never left (RIP to everyone else, but I’m different). But I do have a degree in Psychology and am a Researcher, so I know how to dissect things (this is probably why the god complex never left lmao)

disclaimer: I have only listened to TMA through one (1), read it ONE time, so if you read something that seems wrong it probably is because my memory is not The Best (the seasons are 40 eps long and 30 mins each, Jonny why) and I’m probably straight-up not remembering or misremembering some aspect or detail about either a character and/or their relationship

(and before you say it, i absolutely CANNOT just go relisten to an ep out of order. my nd brain Will Not Let Me until i have listened thru all 4 seasons, In Order, several times)

ALSO: i speak very definitively here, but it doesn’t mean i’m right abt my analysis

bold and italics are lyrics, regular font is analysis. if there’s a more accessible way to format this, lmk!

analysis under cut

honesty that's what she gave to me mary didn’t hide who she was; eric knew exactly what he was getting himself into

into the water i bleed into the sea sea motif/metaphor to describe how eric viewed his relationship with mary

truthfully even when she lied through her teeth it only meant she trusted me to lay at her feet rationalization from eric: he knows she’s lying, and she probably knows he knows. but she also knows that he won’t do anything about it

oh, heave-ho it's over the edge i sink more of the sea metaphor in pieces in ribbons in tatters i'm thrown into the dark of the drink ribbons and tatters: reminiscent/hint of mary needing a piece of his skint to keep his ghost in the leitner

oh, heave-ho it's over the edge i go blow the man down, he's a jewel for your crown (blow me down) and no one will ever know ”jewel for your crown”: suggestive of how mary used eric like an object. jewel and crown suggests that he was useful to her in an important way, tho, still an object ”no one will ever know”: suggestive that no one else, looking in on their relationship, would even see it for what it truly was, nor would they ever expect mary to throw him away so casually like she did

war, you see is somewhere you go just to bleed the end of a book you can’t read (books you cannot read) a legacy’s greed “book you can’t read”: suggestive of mary’s relationship with leitners ”a legacy’s greed”: commentary of leitner; bc this is eric telling his story tho, this could also be about how mary pulled eric into her plots regarding leitners, and then gerry

distantly, familiar hope came to me that even with blood in our teeth my son stayed asleep ”even with blood in our teeth”: eric knows what role he had to play in all this and is not absolving himself of blame ”my son stayed asleep”: often sleeping can be used as a metaphor for ignorance. in this case, eric is hoping that, despite what gerry’s mother is and what eric has been complicit in, will not affect his son i think it’s interesting to note here that the backup voices cut out for “my son stayed asleep” (put a pin in it)

oh, heave-ho the ship is my body, i gave to my wife as the captain, the whip, and the brine, the shark lurking under the waves more of the sea metaphor; also a metaphor for how complicit eric was to mary’s will i think it’s super interesting that she’s the captain, whip, brine, and shark in this metaphor. all things that can hurt eric, as the ship. suggests that mary is in complete control of eric (as the captain). also adds to the notion that eric knew exactly who mary was and still loved her anyway (”i gave”).

oh, heave-ho the ship is my body, she cracks the mast of my spine, spills my blood as her wine (lightning strikes and) i really like this line bc it makes me think of the marriage lines in corpse bride: “your cup will never empty, for i will be your wine.” and i love that it’s turned on its head here. cuts a flag from the skin off my back (takes all the skin off my back) a direct callback to the fact that mary has to take strips of eric’s skin to keep his ghost in the leitner book, while also staying with the metaphor that eric is a ship out at sea

way, ay, i wanted to say though blinded i still saw the light at the end of the hall, in a crib with his eyes almost grayer than mine in the night direct callback to eric blinding himself, twice! also represents how much he loves his son: “light of my life” is a common saying and gerry was that for eric

i gave up the sight of his face for his life and i would have lost more for the same i'd cut out my heart to save his from her bite and i almost don't know who to blame again, direct callback to him blinding himself so he could escape the institute a demonstration of how much love he holds for his son, willing to give up more and more of himself if it meant keeping his son safe heart motif! both for eric and gerry i really like the last line here bc he’s saying he doesn’t know who to blame for his blindness (aka cutting out his heart): himself or mary. bc, as i’ve stated before, eric knows who mary is. and he still loves her. still had a child with her. i also think it’s foreshadowing. and the reason i say this is bc, in the end, eric was unable to save gerry from mary. this song is representative of his statement to gertrude, so at this point, he’s a ghost. tho he may not know exactly what mary has done, he knows who she is enough to know that after he died, mary would raise gerry in her likeness, with her ideals

is it a murder if i made my bed by her side when i knew what she was? and here we have eric, most nearly explicitly, stating that he knew mary’s true colors. and loved her anyway. perhaps i'm complicit; i fell asleep first in the bloodcutting comfort of jaws this also solidifies his stance that he should shoulder some of the blame for allowing himself to love her when he knew what a truly terrible and deadly (literally) person she was ”bloodcutting comfort of jaws” is also really nice alliteration

forgive me, forgive me, i did try to swim with my hands and feet bound to my heart heart motif! okay so this one has so many layers for me: so, for all intents and purposes here, eric has effectively cut out his heart, which his hands and feet are bound to, and is now in the jaws of a shark (mary), who is dragging him down to kill him. he tried to save his son by getting away from the institute by blinding himself but it didn’t work weighted and anchored with love for my son who by birthright deserves more than scars legit, this confused me for a bit bc i always saw “with my hands and feet bound to my heart” as the anchor that pulled him down, as you’d weigh someone down with big rocks if you wanted them to drown. however, in the context of tma, i realized anchor could also mean the way martin is jon’s anchor. eric’s love for gerry was his reason--the person who he kept fighting for as best he could

additional note: these 4 verses are all sung without backup voices. i think it’s interesting that the lyrics/verses that revolve around wanting to save his son, and that are about his son, are sung with his singular voice. i wish i could articulate more what that means, but despite my best efforts, i’m not musically inclined even tho i’ll kinda be talking abt music composition for firesorrow girl lmao. link at the end

my eulogy the carpet red under my feet like standing on top of the sea (standing on the sea) the frenzy beneath don’t ask me why but i really like how this last part of the song starts with “my eulogy” bc you can tell the song is coming to a close now by that lyric. what’s really nice is i can “picture” eric closing his statement with gertrude with the request that she finds his son more sea and shark metaphors

infamy how do you remember me? that fool just so desperate to leave that he couldn't see? i also really loved these lines bc eric most likely knows how gertrude thought of him, and can probably sense how she feels of him now, after his story then i love how “couldn’t see” has a double-meaning here: 1) of course, he blinded himself but, 2) that he was also metaphorically blind to what kind of consequences his actions had, both on him and his son

oh, heave-ho a dead man has only one tale listen,,, i know i keep saying this, but i love how ron turns turn-of-phrases on their heads. bc “dead men tell no tales” right? eric has one tale, tho: his statement bc he’s a ghost who’s been bound this book and kept, for all intents and purpose, alive i knew she had hunger for blood in the water and that means it was no betrayal again, confirmation that eric knows that he has to shoulder some of the blame for the consequences of knowing who mary was (this bloodthirsty shark) and still loving her anyway

oh, heave-ho though, i have one request of you now if my son can be found and his own hands unbound (find my son) cut the rope - don't you dare let him drown (don’t you dare be the reason he drowns) so a throwback to “hands and feet bound to my heart” tho perhaps gerry’s heart isn’t what’s dragging him down, necessarily bc he was raised by mary, he didn’t have a choice. the moment he was born, he was tied to her. and the moment mary killed eric, there was no chance he could get away and then, of course, the gut-puncher: “don’t you dare let him drown”/“don’t your dare be the reason he drowns” are especially poignant, given gertrude uses gerry much in the same way mary did. gerry becomes bound to a different entity and is used for gertrude’s gain. so he drowns anyway.

alkjdlf i hope this is semi-coherent. i tried to do it more “professionally”--i even thought abt breaking it up and putting it back together, out of order, to address all the themes and motifs all in one spot--but then decided what would be best for my brain, was to listen to the song and just add my thoughts in as they came, stream of consciousness style *finger guns*

firesorrow girl analysis | meme i made for these analyses bc it’s funny and i wanted to share

#tma #the magnus archives #tma meta #(kinda. alkjldkf idk how to tag thissss)#eric delano #mary keay #gerard keay #chirp.meta

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i-do-trash-fanfictions · 4 years ago

Text

Thera’s Journal Entry #27

Crow and I have been talking again. It was more than two weeks ago when he had saved me. Now, we’ve been talking even more.

Today, I got a message from Spider, telling him to come see him. I hoped it had nothing to do with the amount of time I had been spending with Crow. Luckily, it wasn’t. Instead, it was about a feeling he had, that someone or something was in or near his lair. He wanted me to look around, to try and find out what it was. So I did.

A quick minute of searching, and I came upon a feather, golden and glowing with light. A disembodied voice came from the feather, speaking to me in my mind as though the thoughts were my own. Though I knew they were not.

They said, “I’m... soaring over trees, storm clouds at my back. There’s... there’s buildings crumbling into rust and ruin. I stop, briefly, on a vantage point overlooking... something. A grove perhaps? It’s hard to remember.”

I knew where buildings were that looked like that. The European Dead Zone. I went there, and on a high point on a broken building, lay another feather.

This one said, “I’m... somewhere. I know that’s not helpful. It’s a ruin, on Earth, I think. I’m flying and there’s these... towers and... ships? I land on a broken concrete pillar and I see... myself? But it’s not me. I don’t think it ever was. I’m saying words I’ve never said and... Thera is there.”

“The Cosmodrone,” Scout said. “But who is this? It must be someone we’ve met.”

I headed to the Cosmodrone then. I saw the faint glow, right on top of a pillar, right where I transmatted. I jumped to it.

“No, not Earth this time. I was home. It was those gates. I had-I don’t know, a sense of dread? Vertigo set in, and I plummeted from the sky like I lost control of my wings. My heart hurt-ached-and I felt so much guilt and... and shame. Regret. No, I don’t remember anything else.” Was the next message.

“The Dreaming City,” I whispered to myself. Gates, home. Was this Crow? It had to be.

I went there next. Headed to one of the gates, and found the fourth feather, sitting there.

“Yes, again. It was like coming full circle, flying through these claustrophobic corridors. I could hear their horrible howling in the distance, in the dark. It was just like when we were there. Except... I was alone. No one to save. I know, Glint. I know.”

I knew for certain now, that it was Crow.

I went to the Moon, in Archer’s Line. I didn’t like being on the Moon, but I went anyway, through the dark tunnels. I found the fifth one.

Scout looked at me. “Thera, I don’t know what to make of any of this. We need to be careful. If Crow is somehow experiencing memories of his life as Uldren... I don’t need to tell you how bad that can be. For all of us.”

I didn’t want Crow to know about his past. I was too afraid that once he learned, it would tear him apart. Not only because he had killed Cayde, the hunter vanguard whom everyone loved, but because he would know that his best friend, me, killed him.

I transmatted to the Queen of Hearts and headed to the Reef to talk with him.

He looked distracted when I approached him, but when he noticed me, his eyes lit up.

“Do you have a minute?” He asked. “Something’s been going on, and I’m... I’ve been having these strange dreams lately.”

I grab a small chair close by and sit down.

Crow waits for me to get settled, then continued. “They were vivid. Real. Glint... Glint thinks there might be something to them. I’m flying. There’s a green forest. Mountains. European Dead Zone, I think. Sometimes the clouds part, and where there should be a bright blue sky, there’s just... darkness.” He does hand motions while he speaks. “I’m free, soaring toward a distant pilliar of light. But the dream always ends the same way. That light... flickers like a candle flame and goes out. And then there’s... nothing. I can’t shake it,” He says. “It’s all I think about.” He meets my eyes. “Would you come with me? See if anything’s there?”

I nod. “Of course.” I say silently.

I transmatt to the Queen of Hearts again. Scout appears at my shoulder.

“I’m worried about Crow.” He says. “If these are more than just dreams, it could be the harbinger of something terrible.”

I reach the Hallowed Grove. Crow talks to me over the coms.

“This is it,” He tells me as I go through the tunnels. “The geography matches my dream exactly. There was a bird? Or... I was a bird? Sometimes it’s hard to remember.”

I hear the sound of Taken appearing. I hated those things.

“I’ll scout the high route. Can you take the lower path?”

“Yeah.” I answered.

“Watch out for Taken up there.” Scout adds in. “Savathun might be hiding, but her minions are active as ever. Do you remember anything else about your dream?”

There was silence for a moment before he answered. “Someone was calling for me, but I couldn’t understand. It sounded like they were... underwater or down a long tunnel. Then... nothing.”

I kept going through the caves and tunnels, fighting off Taken as I went. Then, I heard a sound.

“Did you hear that?” Scout asked me.

“Affirmative!” Said Glint over the coms. “Did you notice the way the sound scatters in spectral analysis?”

“What? No, I- but that’s... it resonated on the same frequency as the Traveler!”

I saw a flash of golden color, and went over to it. It was a hawk, sitting in front of a tunnel.

“That hawk. It was made of light.” Scout stated.

“It was real.” Crow said. “The dream, the bird. I’ve got coverage on you from up here. I’ll watch your back when you go in. Be careful.”

I was about to say that I was always careful, but I knew with what happened two weeks ago, he would probably have a comeback for it.

I continued again through the tunnels. I followed the hawk of light. I jumped over large gaps.

“Scout,” Crow said after a while. “Can you patch Glint in to your feed? I need to see what’s in there.”

“Of course,” Answered Scout.

“I don’t understand how any of this is possible.” I heard Crow whisper.

“Guardians don’t experience visions of their past lives.” Said Glint. “But there are historic records from the Dark Age detailing visions experienced by survivors of the Collapse.”

“What were the nature of these visions?”

“They varied. But the most widely held belief is they came from the dormant Traveler. Like the survivors were experiencing its dreams. If it dreams.”

I kept jumping over gaps and killing the taken. I heard another squawk from overhead again. I got reminded of when I had followed Hawthorne’s hawk, Louis.

“What ever is calling you in your dreams, Crow... it’s in there.” Scout told him.

I went in to a large cave area, with many ledges. Moss grew on the rocks and on the walls. A shallow pool of water sat in the center, and in the middle of that, sat a piece of the Traveler.

“A piece of the Traveler.” Said Scout, astonished.

“I don’t think its a coincidence that the taken are active here.” Crow said.

“Savathun?”

“She knows about this. Has to.”

“Taken!” Scout exclaimed as many appeared.

“Out here too! We’ll cover the entrance!” Said Crow.

I took care of the Taken. I had a few close calls during the fight, but was able to get behind cover just in time. I pulled out my Golden Gun to take care of the two stronger taken, and then used my grenade launcher to finish them off.

When I finished, the hawk of light sat near the Traveler’s peice. An old gun sat beside it.

“I know this gun.” Scout said. “It looks like Hawkmoon. Or at least... part of it. I thought it was gone forever when the Red Legion destroyed the Tower.” A quick moment of silence as he looked at it. “No. It’s... an effigy of Hawkmoon. Made from the same material as the outer shell of the Traveler. This reminds me of the gift the Pyramid left us on Io. The one Eris transformed into a weapon, but it’s undeniably of the light.”

I took it carefully and picked it up.

“The dream. The bird. The voice calling to me as the Darkness closes in. It’s not a coincidence; it’s a message.” Crow said.

“Are you suggesting that the Traveler spoke to you?” Scout asked with a hint of surprise. I couldn’t help but be surprised to.

“This may be the only way a paracasual entity like the Traveler can communicate with us.” Glint said.

“Why me?” Crow asked.

“I’ve always believed in my purpose as a Ghost. We are all part of a broader design. Now that the Traveler is awake and whole again... that plan is set in motion.”

“I don’t know if I want to be somebody’s cosmic plaything.”

And that was it.

By the time I made it back to my ship, it was night time, and I was tired. I had been helping Crow with his what he needed almost all day, plus the few missions I had done before I got Spider’s message. I told Scout to take me to orbit and informed Crow that I would talk to him in the morning.

I headed to the small room in my ship and sat on the small bed after placing my weapons on the table. I changed into comfortable clothes, a t-shirt and sweatpants (the ship got cold a lot). Scout came in a minute later after the ship entered orbit and sat on top of the pillow on the small side table near the bed.

I laid my armor carefully to the side and went to the desk where I grabbed this journal. I sat on the bed and began to write today’s events. And now that that’s finished, I need my sleep. I’m sure there are going to be more adventures tomorrow.

#destiny 2 #destiny #destiny guardians #destiny game #destiny oc #destiny crow #uldren sov #hawkmoon #season of the hunt #theras journal entries

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