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e-adlirez · 7 months ago

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Treasure Seekers 2 go brrrrr

So this sequel... exists :D

Welcome to the second entry in the Treasure Seekers trilogy that I'm gonna ramble about for the next six hours (in me time, in you time it's probably gonna be like thirty minutes or less), if you wanna read it yourself before reading this ramble, here's an Archive copy. Otherwise, enjoy the ride :D

So our story begins with the Thea Sisters locked in a basement in the dark, with Russia's penchant for matches (and the basement's lack of a smoke alarm) coming in clutch. Seems like another vacation's gone awry for them :3 How could it have possibly turned out this way?

Flashback: so the girls are vibing in Moscow, visiting all the cool sights and all that, Pam is wanting to try some Russian cuisine, when they spot this girl that's wearing what appears to be a barrette that used to belong to Aurora's sister Hannah Lane. They follow her a bit, find a THUG JUMPSCARE, follow the girl, Cassidy and co into the building they're heading into, and oh dear door with passcode is in the way. They find this dood Sergei, explain to him the situation, deal with him being like "who is u, and wth are you on about mate" until they hear a scream and oh dear turns out that girl with the barrette is Sergei's sister Irina and she's in trouble.

Sergei opens the door, they go in, walk in on Cassidy, Stan and Max (who I will from now call SM for simplicity) doing their whole thug jumpscare thing and kidnapping Irina in 4K. SM somehow rolls a high enough strength roll (or the girls roll a low enough initiative) that two roughly intimidating guys successfully trap six people into a basement without breaking a sweat get yourself some self-defense classes girls oml, and that's the end of that.

Luke's up to his shenanigans again, and it seems that he's targeted Irina Lenenko for the same reason the girls double-taked at the sight of her barrette: Irina (and Sergei in conjunction) is a descendant of Hannah Lane, and Hannah Lane may or may not have known a thing or two about one of the seven treasures. It's such a shame tho that Irina doesn't wanna spill any of the tea. What's this about a "queen's jewel"?

Oh also Luke has Aurora's third diary. I would like you to pay attention to this detail in particular. Oh and he's keeping Irina ratgrabbed until she tells them what he wants to know from her. Oh naur

Meanwhile the girls infodump all of the TS 1 LANE LOORRREEEE to Sergei in one whole sitting and finally manage to get around to "what the hell does this have to do with my sister". Sergei thinks it's not really possible for Irina to know anything about great-grandma Hannah's involvement with Aurora, but Irina's still in trouble soooo time to solve this nerdy-ass science trivia keypad puzzle to get outa the basement. Irina's nowhere to be found in the lab itself, so they regroup at Sergei's place to use his phone tracker app on his computer.

Bad news, SM dumped Irina's phone somewhere in the lab so the tracker app is useless; good news, while looking for some Lane Lore™ to get some context about the situation, the girls find some Lane Lore™ :D

Turns out Aurora was looking for one of the seven treasures again, y'know just updating her sister on that, who'd moved to Saint Petersburg with her husband Ivan.

Seems like Aurora's quest at the time involved "the queen's jewel", which Aurora said she was 1000% down to ramble about to Hannah, maybe when she's done finding all seven treasures and hiding them from Jan.

I would like to take this moment to remind you that Aurora is a British Amelia Earhart, and if you dunno what that means, look up what Earhart was famous for and then look at this with that given context :']

With that lead, the girls plus Sergei take a ride on presumably the Krasnaya Strela night train to Saint Petersburg, read some Lane Lore on the way, Peter-Griffin upon realizing that they spent the whole night reading AO3 fanfics Aurora's diaries and it's like 2AM now, land in Saint Petersburg, stop by Nevsky Prospekt Street to have some breakfast (I think they went to Venezia?), and discussion.

(For the rest of this review, please assume when I say "the girls", I'm including Sergei because Sergei tags along with them and helps them out in their entire journey. It's okay, Sergei may be biologically male but he is an honorary female in our hearts /j)

Aurora mentioned the queen's jewel in her diary, and when you're in Russia, the first queen that comes to mind is Catherine II, so maybe something relating to her? Some Lane Lore of Aurora taking interest in Catherine II's Amber Room in her palace specifically confirms their theories, sooooooooo it's time to go to the Amber Room to see if Aurora left any clu--

The girls are about to walk out of the Catherine Palace to Peter Griffin in private when SM JUMPSCARE--

So SM is stalkin' around the Catherine Palace looking for something, so the girls stalk them back and follow them out of the palace, into a car (the girls called a separate taxi to follow them), and to a little gray building in the outskirts of the city. They don't follow SM into the building because it might be dangerous, but Irina's scarf lying around near the premises confirms that Irina was in fact there and possibly being held hostage in the building.

The girls do a little tactic I like to call "the Ding Dong Ditch": Pam and Nicky knock on the door, SM answers it, do a little Metal Gear exclamation point "HOW DID YOU GET HERE", Nicky and Pam book it so SM chases them, and that's literally how the other girls plus Sergei sneak into the building to get Irina out. (You dunno how badly I wanted to make a videogame reference for this but I couldn't find anything so here we are--)

With that, the girls plus the Lenenko siblings book it outa there without SM being none the wiser (seriously it doesn't even cross their mind that there are more than two Thea Sisters, that's how dum they are). Irina books a hotel room at a friend's place and gives them some extra Lane Lore that she never told Klawitz despite the interrogations:

Hannah Lane was once visited by Aurora unexpectedly, a little after Hannah and her husband moved to a house near the Ob River, in Siberia. Possible lead :3c? The girls think maybe, so they decide to head on over to the exact address in Novosibirsk, Siberia.

In Siberia, the girls cross the frozen Ob River in Novosibirsk to this abandoned little house, where they find this little note with a riddle that talks about Cleopatra and an emerald she had at one point, and CASSIDY JUMPSCARE--

Cassidy busts in, snatches the note and books it away on her snowmobile before the girls can even react. You may be wondering, how the hell did Cassidy get there and know where they were? The answer is the same as the reason behind the SM jumpscares in Russia and in book 1, and that is Luke.

Luke Von Klawitz is doing a little segment that I like to call: Luke Touch Grass, where it becomes increasingly clear that Luke's spent way too much time on 4Chan (/j but you'll see what I mean). Luke hears about SM's failure and facepalms. Then he calls his friend Petrovski, who has access to the database of all of Russia's airports, for help tracking down "six mice leaving Saint Petersburg". Petrovski gives him results in minutes: the girls and Sergei are leaving Saint Petersburg and heading for Novosibirsk, Siberia (most likely Tolmachevo Airport). With that intel, Klawitz looks into his own database of Aurora Beatrix Lane, finds a picture of Hannah and Aurora together, and uses his own version of Google Lens to figure out the exact coordinates where the picture was taken, which happens to be in Novosibirsk, Siberia.

No this man does not in fact canonically touch grass on the regular, who's asking

Anyway so he sent Cassidy the coords, instructions and Aurora's diary to go, and that's how Cassidy walked in on the girls in that little abandoned hut next to Ob River. Only thing is uh, she dropped her purse on the way out. A purse that just so happened to contain Aurora's diary that Luke gave her.

So the girls scoop that puppy up and assume that the treasure is Cleopatra's emerald, thus they think it's in Egypt.

So the girls go to Egypt :D (29 and a half hour flight there good god no wonder they conked out in the plane--)

The girls read some Lane Lore, something about Aurora finding the treasure and hiding it somewhere in a desert, in an "expanse pure and white" that a star compass will lead to. First thing the girls think of at the desert bit is the White Desert (Sahara el Beyda), specifically a spot near Cleopatra's pool, so they leave the airport (not realizing Cassidy is following them now) and head over to a market to buy some supplies because might I remind you, they initially went to Moscow, Russia for vacation.

While in the market, Pam meets a guy named Omar. Pam tells him a little bit about them going to Cleopatra's pool in Sahara el Beyda, and she finds out that Omar just so happens to be an Archaeology major in Oxford University who's here on his summer vacation and works as a guide for Sahara el Beyda, and is more than down to give the girls a tour. Talk about lucky :D

The next day the girls take the scenic route and after a while make it to Siwa, where Omar books a room in a hotel for them, and the girls find this interesting myth there about Cleopatra that I will summarize here:

Cleopatra was once given a jewel that maxes out the owner's rizz and the effect is supposedly indefinite. Cleopatra liked the jewel so much that she wore it on her crown at all times... until she grew a bit self-conscious about the gem's maxxed rizz effect and how everyone kept eyeing the emerald a second too long for comfort, so she decided to hide away said rizz in a spot where none of her rivals could get to it. Oh and uh Cleopatra wrote up a dedication to Ra that's hella cryptic too.

One long rest later, the girls go to Cleopatra's pool on a donkey cart. Yes, a donkey cart. It was Omar's idea. Speaking of Omar, prepare yourself buddy because the girls have dubiously decided to give you some Lane Lore to chew on. O-oh you like it a lot. A lot a lot. Well okay cool, maybe you can help out, cool.

The girls manage to figure out the riddle in Cleopatra's dedication, find a little stone coffer that has the queen's treasure and-- SM JUMPSCARE

With a donkey as the girls' only escape method and Omar having suddenly disappeared, a scuffle ensues where the girls play hot potato with the box until SM gets their hands on it and opens it, and here we get a very accurate depiction of what SM and the girls found in the box once it was actually opened.

Description: a hand made of salt shaped in an upside-down "ok" symbol, circa 1920s-30s.

The sheer whiplash of this leaves both sides of the conflict losing enough HP that they're all on red-- SM is blaming the girls for this (how dare >:[) and dip. Omar is gone, and all the girls get as compensation is the empty box and a letter from Aurora telling them that they'll know to read the hidden clues. The girls head back feeling very hollow and dead inside, and this is the one time one of the girls questions how the hell did SM know they were at Siwa. I mean they never get any answer to this (kinda), but it is a milestone! They're aware of it now!

Once they get back to Cairo, they ask around and find that Omar's completely up and vanished, and they decide they'll just head back to Moscow since their investigation has come to a dead end. On the way, Pam comments about the falafel she bought being hella salty, which leads Violet to an epiphany that hey, the Sahara isn't the only desert that exists, let alone the only desert known for how white it is (like how Boracay Beach is known for how white and fine its sand is, but it's not the only white sand beach that exists). A quick Google search (and a long flight (35 HOURS CAIRO TO SUCRE???)) leads them to the Salar de Uyuni in Bolivia.

Nicky reserves a room for them at Hotel Luna Salada (a real place you can book a stay at actually :D), and they make a friend by the name of Adriana, a local waitress in the hotel restaurant. Adriana helps them pick out a dessert, fills them in on some stuff about the Salar since the girls came here 100% out of impulse, and talks about possible itinerary locations to go to, like the Isla de Pescado, Tiwanaku (the "Gate of the Sun"), Lake Titiaca, and Laguna Colorada. Y'know, typical tourist stuff, and Adriana was so kind to show them pictures she took when she visited said places herself! :D

Anyway so while the girls long rest, Luke is mulling about in his base waiting for updates. Someone calls him about the whole Egypt thing, and Luke calls the girls incompetent? Rude, oh and something about the caller being Luke's "secret weapon". Cassidy calls him on a theory she has about the gemstone being in Cleopatra's palace, and since the girls are currently long-resting (which means they aren't doing anything), Luke figures that a little diving trip in Alexandria to search for the gem with Cassidy won't hurt. Besides, he still has his secret weapon.

Oh yeah and he knows the girls are long resting because he has a drone in Bolivia spying on them and showing him their every move. Touch grass, Luke. No, going on a diving trip in Alexandria doesn't count, there's barely any grass there /j

Morning comes in Bolivia, and the girls head out early to search the Salar as much as they can. They look around the flat white desert, eat some late breakfast, toy around with forced perspective camera shenanigans for a bit, and read up on some LANE LOOORREEEEE

So Aurora's been to Pumapunku and Tiwanaku which is cool, she paid a visit to the archaeological site probably and that's really cool. She says something about hiding the queen's treasure in a fish's stomach covered in very fine thorns. Sergei ends up having an epiphany, and that leads the girls to Isla de Pescado, which just so happens to be "Fish Island" in Spanish, and has cacti on it, it's all coming together :D

Oh and the fish drawing Aurora made is coords to the treasure seemingly so that's cool-- OMAR JUMPSCARE

The girls are very surprised to find Omar joining them, and Omar explains that he booked it when SM came over and lost his cellphone as a result. However, he managed to figure out that Aurora's riddle was about salt and not sand, and decided to head on over to Bolivia since he assumed that's where the girls are going. How did he find them? It was just out of pure coincidence, and also the fact that the girls are extremely recognizable. Hm.

Anyway, Paulina plugs the coordinates into her GPS and leads the girls plus Omar to a little cave at the bottom of a little embankment. The girls find that, lo and behold, there's an old tin box containing a bright green emerald!

Meanwhile Luke is not finding anything in Alexandria haha L, LVK L get dunked on Luke, Cassidy girlie that's not a man to simp for find someone else gurl-- oh dear Luke is alerted that the treasure has been found and now he's planning on heading over to Bolivia? Now how could he possibly know that?

In the meantime, I dunno what's up in the air or if it's the Archaeology major speaking in him but Omar's really invested in this treasure, even more so than the girls to the degree that the girls are a little freaked out by it-- RHEA JUMPSCARE-- Paulina calms the big bord down and gets it to not trample Omar please, he's still a friend of theirs. Colette picks up this blue notebook Omar seems to have dropped.

The girls plus Omar head back to the SUVs, and Omar is really trying to persuade the girls that he should bring it back to Cairo. The girls are not jazzed at the idea because Omar bringing it back alone will be too unsafe, y'know with Luke and Cassidy and SM and all. They gotta think about this rationally-- WHOA OKAY OMAR calm your man tits buddy why are you demanding they trust you like you automatically deserve your trust-- ohh that's how Klawitz has known about the girls' whereabouts, Omar was working as a double agent.

So yeah Omar snatches the box from Colette and drives off in his SUV, leaving the girls in the dust. The girls freak out and are feeling that EMOTIONAL DAMAGE, but Colette for some reason is very calm about Omar booking it with the emerald. And that's because SHE HAS IT :D she did a lil' switcheroo so now the emerald's with her while the box is with Omar.

For context about how Colette knew about this, remember the blue notebook Omar dropped? Yeah that notebook was a company LVK notebook, straight from Luke himself. Then after Colette saw it, everything about Omar became incredibly sus, so she performed this precautionary measure.

So now the girls talk to the local authorities about how the whole thing with the emerald is gonna go down, and soon the girls are waiting for a plane back to Moscow.

As for Omar, well, he goes over to Luke's super-fancy hotel in La Paz, Bolivia, and he hands the box to Luke, explicitly stating that he decided he'd let Luke open it before he himself can appreciate it.

Luke opens the box, and here we see an accurate depiction of what Luke sees.

Description: an upside-down "ok" symbol drawn in strawberry pink lip balm, signed Colette [insert last name], circa 2018.

Luke punts the box (prolly with the lip balm still inside it) into the swimming pool, tells Omar to get out, and that's the end of that. Haha Omar L Luke L

The girls head back to Moscow to drop Sergei off when SURPRISE PARTY BY IRINA'S SQUAD :DDD

Then the girls are about to return to Whale Island to presumably Peter Griffin in their dorms, when Colette suggests they make a journal a la Aurora Beatrix Lane, and they do. In a pink notebook because it was Colette's idea so we might as well give her that

And they take a black-and-white group picture of them wearing adventurer clothes like Aurora would've done. The brainrot is real, these girls are mentally ill /j

And that's the book :D

... Honestly it's the most meh out of the trilogy besides the big-brain bits in the middle and the end imo

The writing was so much more stilted in this one, even for Scholastic standards, and everything feels pretty..... kid's book. Even more so than the usual in the book's English translations. I do readings for the books in some of my Discords, and this book did not read well at aaallll. And I haven't even mentioned the typos in the book (they're not a lot, but they exist, and they're kinda egregious :D) and some grammar errors if I'm remembering things correctly. It might just be a translation thing-- I worry a bit for the translator who had to put this together.

Luke's character here is also kinda wonk? For one we see him directly contradict his anti-friendship spiel in TS 1 since he literally greets Petrovski like a friend (maybe it's a "friendship doesn't exist except in 4Chan" thing, I dunno). Then in the middle of the book, he gets... very Disney villain-y. The most egregious example here is the chapter "Lurking in the Shadows", where as you can see

I am confusion?? Luke has been described as a to-the-point brat who hardly cares for the means to his end (unless it will impact his ability to achieve the end) and is so fixated on his goal that he doesn't touch grass. Is this not-touching-grass behavior? Yeah, definitely, but this??? This is too Disney villain???? Why does the man break into an evil cackle in front of Cassidy???? I understood it in book 1 because man thinks he's doing a "You may think you have outsmarted me but I have OUTSMARTED YOUR OUTSMARTING", but this one?? Maybe it's my personal taste, but it's too cartoonish and too... deviated from what we know of him up to this point.

ALSO TWIRLING HIS MUSTACHE? WHAT MUSTACHE IS HE TWIRLING THAT THING IS NOT TWIRL-ABLE

Also time to address the one big plot hole in this book: Aurora's diary.

So in this book there's only one diary, which is infinitely simpler than the two we got in the first book. This diary supposedly contains Aurora's records of her mission in hiding Cleopatra's Rizzmerald, and the details are supposedly vague enough that Luke felt the need to kidnap and interrogate Irina, a Hannah Lane descendant, to fill in the blanks. However, when you look at the contents of the diary itself (which lord knows how many times Luke himself has looked through it), there's hardly any blanks that need to be filled, at least if you're Luke.

The diary itself is mostly in the background-- like I said, not as much Lane Lore here as the previous book, the girls mostly rely on Aurora's letters to Hannah here-- but there's one specific entry the girls read in the latter half of the book that explicitly mentions Pumapunku and Tiwanaku, and how Aurora is there for her mission to hide the emerald. Complete with coordinates hidden in a little drawing! My one question I have for Luke is, why didn't he go straight to Bolivia and started searching there? Why did he go through all the effort of kidnapping Irina, tailing the girls around Sahara el Beyda, letting SM fall for the salt replica gambit, left his base to touch grass and go on a dive with Cassidy in Egypt; all if he could've just gone straight to Bolivia to look for the treasure there? Sure, Aurora did a good job hiding the coordinates in the fish doodle, but someone as observant and as obsessed about the outcome instead of the journey like Luke would rather have sidestepped all the Aurora shenanigans and beelined straight to the goal if he was able to.

Luke hardly has an excuse here because he owned the diary at the start of the book, and most definitely read through it many times (and we know he's the type to do this, see TS 1). The plot hole is plot hole-ing, it seems :/

Maybe it was just an excuse for the girls to get a giant glowing arrow pointing in the direction of the treasure? It certainly feels like it.

Anyway, the things that carry this book and made it memorable when I first read it (and allowed me to ignore the iffy bits) are the gottems and Omar as a character. Aurora setting up a salt replica of the Rizzmerald as a gottem in a time capsule, only to be opened almost a hundred years later to still be as potent as intended when it was made so long ago? That is amazing, like c'mon, pure comedy material.

Even funnier is Colette doing the exact same thing, only with her lip balm. Luke is quaking in his bougie-ass leather boots.

Now for Omar. This may be a hot take of mine here, but Omar's sus-ness is actually at a decent level compared to the girls and what they usually deal with. On one hand, Omar is incredibly suspicious with how incredibly lucky the girls are to find an Archaeology Oxford major working as a Sahara el Beyda tour guide; but on the other hand, the girls had almost the exact same situation with Diego in Mexico (I didn't mention him in the first review, but he came in clutch in TS 1).

The girls met Diego in Merida, Mexico, and he helped them with their research into "the invisible place", which happened to be Uxmal, along the Puuc Route. Diego also just so happened to be a tour-guide-in-training for the Puuc Route, which was the place the girls just so happened to need to go to find Aurora's second journal.

In comparison, the girls meet Omar in Khan El-Khalili while they were looking for supplies for their trip to the Siwa Oasis. It comes up in conversation that the girls are headed to Siwa, and Omar just so happened to be a tour guide for Sahara el Beyda, which was where the Siwa Oasis is, and it just so happened to be where the girls needed to go. When you stack them up together, it made perfect sense that the girls thought they could trust him-- Diego didn't know much about their trip and helped them the best he could (which was a lot), so why wouldn't Omar do the same? He's an Oxford Archaeology major, too, for crying out loud, the girls struck gold in the end!

Gold that was too shiny and too good to be true. Gold that was, in the end, nothing more than pyrite, fool's gold.

Omar is a good case for why you should be careful with who you trust, and when you should start thinking a little bit when you're getting a little too lucky with the people you meet. When the girls got to know him a little more and decided to trust him and tell him the deal with their trip, he got way invested in the gem-- too invested to not be a little bit suspicious. Maybe the girls mistook it for his passion for his archaeology major, maybe they mistook it for something else-- but whatever the case, Omar pulled the cheesecloth over the girls' eyes and really only fell apart near the end, when his alibis and behavior started becoming more and more suspicious; and by then, Omar didn't need to be as inconspicuous, and the girls had gotten to know him too much to readily say to him "okay buddy can you kindly f%ck off, your vibes are not vibing here".

The girls probably should've been suspicious when Omar reappeared in Bolivia out of nowhere, but I guess his alibi was just good enough (and the girls at this point were probably running on adrenaline, caffeine and a brain on 70% capacity at most) to pass the Deception check.

Fr tho there were some bits where the girls should've found him sus but they didn't (him accidentally saying "I did it" when they uncovered the emerald, and also him handling the emerald the way he did), so shrugs. It could be a translation thing, but it could also be something else.

Anyway, kinda meh for a sequel, but it does have its standouts that allow it to somewhat stand on the same level as the first and third books. Kinda.

Hey, at least it's not as bad as Crystal Fairies-- that's the bar of bad-ness I'm setting. It's not as bad as Crystal Fairies and that's what matters--

Also special thanks to @ishmeowwow (it won't let me ping you for some reason bestie <:[) for making the lil' artworks haha

#geronimo stilton #thea sisters #thea stilton #book review #book rambles #book rant #thank you ishmeow for making the gottems for me :D #you came in clutch while my ipad is still dieded thank you bestie <3 #in the book it's just the lip balm but ishmeow decided to go all-out with the gottem gag and i can't be more grateful lmao #same goes with the gemstone in aurora's gottem (it's just the fake tiara plus fake gem) but hey the more salt the merrier :D #book 2 luke is so jarringly different from his other depictions but at the same time #he does not in fact touch grass and he does crack an evil cackle at least once a book so #i dunno how i feel about it . .#on one hand it adds to him not touching grass #but on the other hand it doesn't connect with his “this villain is supposed to make you shnit your pants at how intimidating he is”#he's intimidating because of his connections his ability to basically spy on the entire world and control everything from his base #and y'know he can tell his goons to do whatever and they'll literally wreak havoc to fulfill said requests #he was so intimidating in concept that they had to nerf him with incompetent goons lmao #after doing last minute research i am deeply concerned for the girls' wallets and their mental and physical health :D #like good god i thought a ten hour flight was unbearable and made your body stiff but holy damn #i'm not complaining too much about the timeline tho because this is hilarious and makes the girls look so neurodivergent #“what do you mean we flew a total of 64 hours by plane feels like it's only been a day to m--”#*dies*

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inventors-fair · 3 months ago

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Split Precedent Commentary: In the Aftermath

[NB: Any spelling errors or off-the-cuff-isms are the result of a 2AM writathon that I should've finished much earlier. Always take language—not specifically mine, but language as a concept—with a grain of salt. You think I proofread any of this? It's the rambling of a mad person.]

There's something to be said for a week where I lay out the exact precedents I'm looking for, and the rails still end up getting rocked. Would this have been a good week to do examples? Honestly, we used to have those all the time, but as it happened examples just felt more self-indulgent and often had their own caveats. Oh, what am I saying? Some of the awkward wording was my own fault, and in the end none of it matters. Or maybe it does. I'm split! I'm spilt. I'm my own milk and my own cookies, desperately holding together even as betterment tears me apart.

Speaking of betterment, I'm writing this after I've said it a hundred times down below, but we really didn't need flavor text for any card this week. At all. None of the split cards got 'em and I was hoping to give folks a week off. Y'know? Instead, well... I think sometimes renders end up being a little too gospel. But when you're looking at printed precedent to design your cards, it helps to know what you need.

That's what I want this week's takeaway to be, I think: know what's being asked of you, and study what's come before. Everyone here is remarkably clever, I hope you know. Yes, you. You're a Magic player. You're clever by default. Just...don't be too clever for your own good. Nobody here was asked to reinvent anything, and yet, there were off-split, off-rarity'd, off-whatevered cards here and there that make me realize... I probably wasn't clear enough. I mean, that's it, right? Just what happens. And there were a couple good cards that came out of it. None that won, but like, a couple cool cards are indeed cool.

I'm gonna be up at the counter today so I won't have time to check in, but ping on Discord if you have questions and I'll get back to you. And also, check out some Judge Picks for cards that I wanted to highlight in the commentary.

@bergdg — Plug & Chug

(For anyone curious, Berg and I talked about the nature of this card in the contest and precedent and whatever, so we're just gonna go with it as-is because I can't be bothered to be as iron-fisted as I have been in the past) Anyway. I feel that we're edging more into MHX territory here. Not opposed! My main concern with the cards is mostly with flavor. Mechanically, yeah, quite reasonable to have fun with Plug even as some alternate chain-of-nonsense burn spell with cards like Virtue of Courage. Season of the Bold does give precedent to the fact that Plug should be the card dealing damage, though. I could've sworn I've seen that somewhere else but the Season is actually the only one with that specific wording. Who'da thunk.

Really though, what is the flavor of "Plug" as a verb? I think this speaks less to your abilities as a card namer and more to the fairly limited nature of this contest when it comes to folks talking about, like, connected names in general. They used up all the best ones, and as a result WotC had to resort to the cool but odd GRN/RNA names. Maybe it's about plugging things in? And "Chug" is the more mechanical chugging-along kind of flavor? Maybe there are less incongruous names, but whatever. IMO, Chug could've been blue to fit the nature of this contest, or you could've made it an instant and knocked off fuse for the MH2 split, without too much suffering. For what it's worth, though, on its own merits, this card's 90% solid concept and a great insight into mechanical cohesion with this prompt.

@bowtochris — Escape // Escalate

What a nightmare of a card to deal with. Just to be clear—I assume that this was supposed to be uncommon or rare? One of those slippy-through-the-crack things; I'll give you some benefit of the doubt but I've got my eye on you. I think that I'll get one really minor thing out of the way first, and it's less nitpick than it is question—what's up with how the Azorius do their thing, dawg. In "Escalate," I mean—I'd expect that name from the Boros, and at the same time I have to wonder about their aggression. But also, Martial Law is a thing, and they do have soldiers.

Perhaps vigilance could be used instead of the +1/+1, but I dunno if that would've made a difference, because either way it's one hell of a card. Serious blowout territory. That's the way to beat through the opposition when you're in some kind of stalemate. Evade when you can, and then mass-evade when you can't. Yeah, this is a finisher—I'll say that this should be rare. Even Escape is a fine enough card. At rare, I kinda expect that it can target something besides just one of your own creatures, but at uncommon, Escalate would be a wee bit too strong... Tough stance, but it's making me think, and most importantly, it's making me want to play this card. Seriously cool thinker here. And you know what? Maybe it's not just Azorius stuff! Why's it gotta be Ravnica? Besides precedent, but that aside, who's the name the escalation?

@corporalotherbear — Doomed to Repeat

What an awesome card that I totally didn't forget to save when scouring the inbox! Ahem. Do you know the band Los Campesinos!, emo Brit-rock stuff? That's all I can think of when I see "Doomed," and I think I doomed myself here. There's minor precedent stuff that I can whinge about later but this one is my own fault. And it's your opponent's fault that they played a massive creature only for you to control the board and smash it to pieces. As long as they don't have a small one that they can sacrifice instead. But as a post-combat card, this is a fun one, innit? Aggression is also fun here—get your swings in turns 3+ and then find something big to mess around with later.

I think this card's fairly versatile depending on the color you pair it with in limited. If you want to run this as a simple mono-black piece of goodstuff in casual or commander or whatever, then all the more power to you. You could even see this in a decent Standard brew, format-dependent! But anyway: white can use tokens as fodder, blue can mill/surveil and bounce your opponents' cards for best sacrifice strategies, red can sink its teeth in and then swing through a clearer board, and green has the best creatures to get back in the late game. I won't say that this card is breaking new ground, but it's breaking some cool usage of Aftermath enough for me to give it a thumbs-up.

@curiooftheheart — Read 'Em & Weep

Sometimes when the precedent is eschewed, I found it to be understandable both from an interpretation standpoint and from a design standpoint. Here, the lack of monocolor fuse-cards as precedent would've lent itself to possible acceptance, but I'm not sold on either the concept or the execution. The mechanics of Read 'Em are almost always going to put you at a disadvantage unless you're doing some serious looting, but sure, control decks could use that. For 2UUU, the effect to loot and give a temporary Hysterical Blindness-style effect... It feels like a lot of investment for a trick that only seems designed to work when fused.

There's this feeling that both cards have to work together in order to reach their potential, a ham-fisted amalgam determined to fit the world allowed by the name, as opposed to a concept under the name that fits into the best of what fuse-cards want: independently good effects that synergize well if the situation/resources allow. Weep (which should be worded like Roilmage's Trick, IMO) is far too situational unless you're practically mono-blue. I find myself coming back to the whole world, though, and I wish that you'd gone for...anything that wasn't literal, honestly. It doesn't fit into the cheating aspect presented, and being "blindsided" is usually the action that happens when one is reading the cards, right? The creative investment ends up feeling like a "get it?" at the end of a joke, and as such loses its merit in the face of its potential.

@dimestoretajic — Odds & Ends

When you made/submitted this card, did you know that there's already a split card with this name? I mean, I can't really knock it against you, there are only so many options. So I won't! What I'll say instead is that I'm also going to pretend that this is a rare because (in commentary order) it's ignoring the precedent rule as an uncommon. As I'm writing this, I made a post about it; because it's more than one person who's oops'd it, probably my bad.

Mechanics! Mechanics, mechanics, mechanics. "Ends" is an interesting one; I believe that cards like Slight Malfunction or maybe Galvanic Discharge need to be utilized here? Either choosing the target needs to happen first, or it needs to be some kind of trigger—probably the former. It's still a mediocre killspell as it stands, IMO. And almost all the time, Odds would be less of its own card and more of a kicker for Ends. It serves next to no purpose by itself, which would be fine if you're deep in the dice-sauce, but each of the minute family of cards that've done this before has done it either cheaper or better (see Barbarian Class, Pixie Guide, Wyll). It could be just UR for a cost. Is that enough for the intended limited?

What I'm trying to say is that this card really has to struggle to justify itself in a sea of better options, and what that reflects is perhaps less of a niche cohesion than intended. The name would've been pretty perfect, sure. That's just not enough. When considering these effects, it behooves you to look at past precedent and ask not just what the ceiling is, but also the floor. Where would this card land in a draft deck, in casual commander, in a strange homebrew? There's a lot of love for die-rolling fun, that's for sure. Stacked against the cards that run those effects, this one ends up being the odd one out.

@grornt — Bait & Switch (JUDGE PICK)

Anyway, you're mean. You're very mean. I feel the almost Oko-osity of this card here, but not just because of the food token. What's especially clever is the usage of independent names that tell their own story, and then bam, together you've got a recipe for disaster. In limited, you can eke out a little victory even without making the food token and snag a bombastic beater that you let go in pack two. In commander, which was definitely thought of here, you have the element of controlled chaos. This card was definitely worded with a lot of love behind the thought process, and I appreciate that immensely.

I guess I still can't get over how weak Bait is, heh. There's this semi-unspoken knowledge that halves of split cards have to be slightly underpowered versions of equal effects for the cost, but at the same time, a little variety wouldn't go amiss. What's even the archetype for it, y'know? Let's get off of Ravnica and think about other worlds, or even just a [format] Horizons set. I feel that you could've maybe scried, even? It could play into "setting a trap" thematically, and then as a turn-one play it could feel impactful independently. Right now, it's slightly off-kilter in favor of "mediocre without fusing," and that's a little harsh, I know, but with a card this polished and a history of good decisions like yours, I'm gonna encourage you to push the envelope one metaphorical inch further. And a little to the left. Right there, on that totally-innocent giant X painted into the floor. Now, just stand still for a moment...

@horsecrash — Exceed // Expectations

Welcome to Jerktown, population me: the cards from GRN/RNA had the first three letters the same, not just the first two. Unless it was a conscious decision to ignore that, in which case your license to visit Jerktown's embassy has been revoked and... I'm not going to use "jerk" as a verb here. Anyway. This card meets expectations fairly well otherwise, I'd say. Clean, crisp, and a severely disappointing rare. Honestly, I'd say that this a perfectly fine uncommon, and I'd've been rather happy to see it in that slot. Was the rare side because of complexity with countering abilities? I guess I can see that. And also, why was the card draw stapled to the counter and not its own line?

These are small potatoes being thrown at a giant frog, though. Exceed is a pretty awesome combat trick and I like how you can give reach in blue-brid and still have it feel normal. Hexproof as a combat trick is always more powerful than it seems. Countering stuff for four mana doesn't always feel as nice, especially if it's just a tax, but the draw almost makes it feel worthwhile, doesn't it? In my opinion, you could've had a five-mana Voidslime+[effect] and that would've definitely exceeded my expectations. Maybe it could've been a nice slimy "Exc-" name... Excrete lol. Good lord, I'm exhausted.

@hypexion — Protect // Promote

Why flavor text on these cards? Genuine question—because it's never appeared on split cards before, mostly. Have I become that much of a stickler, or is it just a random afterthought, and I'm reading too much into it? It's a decent piece of worldbuilding, if not Hemmingway. I don't think it's necessary in the context, though; saying that it's a Brokers card would've been enough for me. As it stands, it's as Broker as a card in that vein can get, and I'm happy to slap some seal of approval on it. "Protect" as a previous split card does dampen that a little, but I think yours is definitely more notable.

The cantrip is an excellent nod to how aggressive these decks want to be in the early game, and honestly, Promote is really aggressive all things considered, if you know when to use it. Pop it off too early and you won't have anyone to promote. But maybe you do need the extra damage and the shield counter just isn't cutting it, yea? Either way—the counters are there. That's all that the Brokers are about no matter what they're doing, and you've made that crystal clear. This card demonstrates some solid limited thoughts to how these effects tell the player when they're supposed to be used. IMO, it's possible that Promote could've been one more mana and given team vigilance or something, but that's a minor addition to a solid base.

@izzet-always-r-versus-u — Questions & Answers

With a heavy heart, I must inform you that this also just barely misses precedent by having different card types on the halves. While I'm whapping you with a miniature newspaper, I think that I have questions about how to build this deck. There's some really interesting stuff happening here, mostly in the sense that the tempo and control sides of zombies are rearing their heads. Investigating towards a long-term goal is how Questions is telling you to operate in the early game, and if you've got a mana sink then it becomes a really, really, really bad Divination. Which is fine! Answers really is only one answer, but making folks sacrifice nonland permanents is a real pain in the butt, especially if you're out-tempoing the control players.

And yeah, there's this image if someone getting the answers they need, but the thing about split cards is that there's less of a story at hand and more of a dichotomy to be explored, y'know? What are the halves of this coin? I'm not totally opposed to the flavorful direction; what I'm saying is that my mind wants to see them operate in that space of differences as opposed to continuation. And what deck wants to see these cards pop off? I feel that you're mostly going to use Questions, because card draw over turns is still decent even when compared to instant cardification. Answers is a unique effect that's got me asking more questions, honestly—like the integrity of a Zombies deck that can reanimate via SOI/EMN effects, perhaps. This is a card where I wanna see people play with it first because, well, I do have quite a few questions.

@melancholia-ennui — Wither & Bloom

I think that there's a gulf between these cards that I'd like more information on, if you've got it, because it feels like I'm not seeing something. The destruction is totally fine for a modal-ish rare, and Bloom is also a great blowout card. What do they do together? For 2BGGW, you get to destroy a nonland permanent and populate. Is that enough? Pumping a zillion mana into this card could get you some destruction, but there's the argument you have to make of whether or not the effect is worth it. With something like Flesh & Blood, you can make a big creature, or deal damage, OR for more mana make the creature big before dealing damage. Same with Beck & Call, where eight mana gets you four fliers and some card draw on top.

So what could this have been synergistically? I think that Bloom is the real problem here, because as much as X-spells on Fuse cards is an awesome idea, the keyword is a wee bit clunky and honestly, there's more draw for me towards Wither. What I'm thinking is that you can use a card like Morbid Bloom as precedent—e.g. "Exile up to one card from a graveyard. Create X 1/1 green Saproling creature tokens, where X is that card's mana value." Something like that, yeah? But if you wanted to do an X-spell, I think that you could come up with a weird idea to go along with it. Oh! Maybe it's: "Exile up to X cards from graveyards, then create a number of 1/1 green Saproling creature tokens equal to the number of card types from among cards in exile." ... That's a little verbose, but you see what I mean.

@misterstingyjack — Swords to Plowshares (JUDGE PICK)

I bet you think you're sooooo clever, don't you. Well...yeah, you kinda are, I like this card. I also think that you overcosted Plowshares by a lot. It's a cantrip that can, in many circumstances, end up doing nothing unless you have an extra land to play and/or a token to create. It's Explore plus Wake the Reflections—I'd max it out at four and it could even be 2G if you really wanted to push it. It would take up your full turns two and three to use it, and it wouldn't get too much on the board, so I honestly don't think it's that bad. Regardless! Swords is a great Raise the Alarm style of card to go with this, so that's all good.

Flavor is pretty awesome, too. My more hopeful interpretation is that there was some clash between two rivals/enemies that eventually led to peace and prosperity in the land. Maybe they even got married! Or, depending on the setting in which you want to place this card, you've got some defenders triumphing over an invading foe, and later they can turn a defended land into a homeland. This card invites a lot of generally wonderful feelings, and with how Aftermath cards can tell a story, I'll say that you knocked it out of the park. Just gotta tweak a couple numbers. For anyone reading this, I wanna know in the replies: how would you interpret this timeline?

@partytimesdeluxe — Hot & Heavy

I never know how to feel when people get really weird with these cards. Full rules text make this sort of situation not-exactly-possible, but is it really IMpossible? It's weird! It's weird and I wish it was weird in a way that wasn't grokable, because we're in the Valley of Magic Design, and it's something that plagues custom designers more often than not.

Lemme explain. On the one hand, if you were to throw this into the file of a premier set, it wouldn't see the light of day. Split cards and Overload both introduce their own manner of complexity that doesn't lend to reading well on one single card. On the other hand, if you were to show this card to someone who's more familiar with the ins and outs of Magic, someone with a penchant for Horizons-style sets, then they instantly get it and appreciate the build. And if you show this to someone designing for a Horizons-style set...they're gonna ask you where it fits in, and there really isn't a good answer.

It's not just the niche of this particular card as a sideboard-only piece. One has to ask: why make this a split card in the first place? Both of them are perfectly reasonable as single cards, and even printable with a couple random quirks as-is. Overload is a versatile and super-sweet mechanic. But what deck is in need of having both of these pieces there with such complex inner workings? There isn't a reasonable enough answer. Again, in pure design terms, having this in sideboard arsenals is a neat design concept, and is still grokable. It also eschews context, which is ultimately its downfall. It's a difficult vibe to contend with, but an important one to keep in mind.

@reaperfromtheabyss — Accept & Deny

If I'm not mistaken, Deny should be worded like Memory Lapse, right? Or are we okay with doing shorthanded stuff these days? I know that Commit/Memory puts spells in places, so it's probably fine, but at the same time it's worth checking. Maybe it would squish that flavor text somewhere else—like on a different card, perhaps. That's a lotta text on one card, Batman! Really, genuinely and truly—one of my first thoughts this week was that people wouldn't have to come up with flavor text if they didn't want to. Alas, though. The card as it stands is getting a stamp of approval from me, for the most part.

I wonder if the folks back in the Dissention era tried to play supermulticolor decks based on these cards and combinations. Was there a three-color draft meta back then? Was the mana good enough? With this card, you could make Accept-ing a creature into a great combat trick or just an extra bit of assurance if you're at parity, and if you're not, then Deny can throw all that stuff right back at them and stall for the turn. Selesnya players might not appreciate the countermagic as much as Azorius players might appreciate the buff, if I have to split hairs about guild gameplay. But what do I know, I draft nonsense. This card feels like a mid-2000's throwback in a good way. What else is there to say? Besides the above critiques, I mean.

@stupidstupidratcreatures — In It to Win It (JUDGE PICK)

I am deeply sorry for not capitalizing the "I" in "Win It" down there. Hopefully, that means you are equally sorry about not adding a rarity to your card. I've assumed based on my massive intellect and handsome face-thing that this is probably okay as an uncommon. Combat tricks to board presence? Yeah, no, that all makes sense. This card feels like one that can help you win out of nowhere, but the setup for it asks a lot of your deck. If you haven't built up that much power, it's a bit of a bugbear, but there's nothing that a little mummy power can't help fix.

God, this card was real close to being sad in retrospect. Y'know? Facing one of the eternalized jerkwad zombies is no easy feat, but this initiate is really gunning for it. I think that it's really awesome that you've chosen to go for the hopeful future effect, where the aftermath is that this person's survival is allowing them to perhaps lead the charge to whatever victory that they're going for. Having "Win It" be the name of a card might be a little on the nose—but, yadda yadda, restrictions and creativity. This card also shows black's willingness and resolve in a positive manner, which is a definite plus. Gameplay-wise, protecting one for the board charge later is a perfectly reasonable way to go about a tempo plan. I'm down for it!

@tanknspank — Sword & Board

One of the benefits to having split cards in a set is, despite their initial apparent complexity, they're actually quite simple cards to grasp. The text is usually minimal, but the combined effects and/or the contrasting themes are what grips the player when reading. These two cards have a lot of text that are almost certainly better utilized on either two different cards or one simplified card with Entwine or something. Small text boxes are the devil's playthings, and that devil has tiny little hands that make it hard to see what he's doing properly, I tell you what.

If this was, like, Horizons territory? I'm right there with you and yeah, I grok it. My groking has nothing to do with the size of the text; I have relatively youthful eyes and a whole lot of time adjusted to staring at screens, so yay for me. Still, Flesh & Blood is the closest precedent, and even then, there's no fuse card with that many lines of text—for a reason. I feel that that should've told you that this idea was a little wobbly to execute as it was. I have faith that you could make a cool thematically relevant card with it, though, and in the end this set of cards is pretty cool and comes at a good cost. It's just asking a lot from the eyes and brains of its players, and I don't believe it currently holds up with the sheer amount of stuff on it.

@wildcardgamez — Build to Last

Mom? Can you come pick me up? They're putting flavor text on Aftermath cards now. ... Yes, I'll hold. ... While we're waiting, I want to ask about what kind of environment you envisioned where this card would be a viable rare. Amonkhet's artifact theme was... There wasn't a specific archetypal artifact theme in either AKH or HOU, so let's start with that. Was there a reason that the Wall token that you create with Build isn't itself an artifact? What's the purpose of that in conversation with Last? This could've been an interesting uncommon in some ways, but here we are with a situational strangeness.

I'm honestly really confused about what your thoughts and expectations were with this card and its environment. The storytelling about indestructible walls to protect the city isn't unheard of. The disconnect between the Wall being built and the indestructibility aspect is still baffling. How exactly did you expect players to connect the story synergy if there's no mechanical synergy? Last is, on the whole, a situational card in a set where no situation has called for it yet, attached to a card that itself invokes the situation without actually playing a role in what the card ostensibly wants to convey. As a rare, it lacks verve, and as a design, it lacks cohesion. I feel that this one could've used a lot more shaping up before settling on this version.

@xenobladexfan — Fight God or Die Trying

Isn't the usual saying "get rich or die trying?" I haven't used the phrase myself since, uh, ever, but I also haven't seen it since the early 2000s or whatever. What you've got here is a card that certainly has text on it. Heh, I kid—you acknowledged in the submission that Fight God is a card that is asking a lot of leeway. What I can actually say is that 1) your art skills are exactly the kind of thing that helps us see what's supposed to be happening and I appreciate it greatly, and 2) there's actually merit to what this card is asking.

Imagine this: "Target creature you control fights target creature you don't control if the creature you don't control has greater mana value." Eh? See what I'm putting down? Maybe it's not a god, but hey, if my Squire wants to pick a godly fight with a Chittering Rat he's calling God, then all the more power to him. There are ways of going about using Die Trying as a real card, and the wording that you've used is pretty decent as well. I don't think you necessarily need to have "creature" in the Fight God text? Pretty sure that only creatures can legally fight, so. All the same: I'm willing to meet you halfway on this. Respecting the grind.

That's all we've got. Tune in next week for the sound of grinding, gnashing, and whooping. And perhaps more joy to come than we could ever know. Until tomorrow...

@abelzumi

#mtg #magic the gathering #custom magic card #inventor's fair #commentary #split precedent contest

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crinkled-emotions · 2 years ago

Note

Rooster is sick and has appendicitis but he keeps saying it’s just a cramp until Maverick can’t take it and takes Roo to the ER

This is the only one I'm doing with Mav for this round, just because I'm lowkey wondering if I'm gonna burn out 😂

I think I've already written something... similar?

🤦‍♀️ iykyk

"What's up with you?"

Maverick rounded the corner in the grocery store, glancing over at Rooster who had tagged along for the trip. He had been his usual upbeat, cheeky self so far, but he kept putting his hand on his stomach and grimacing in discomfort.

"I dunno, my stomach hurts. Feels like a cramp though. Maybe I pulled a muscle?"

When Maverick instinctively reached out to feel his forehead Rooster jumped back, hands raised out.

"What- no. Mav, I swear, it's just a cramp. I'm fine."

"Y'know, if I had a dollar for every time you've said that and then I've been dragging you to the hospital at 2am, I'd have two dollars."

"I was twelve!"

"It was obviously broken, Roos!"

Rooster rolled his eyes, following Maverick through the frozen fruit aisle. He stopped again, wincing.

"Back in a sec."

Maverick glanced over his shoulder, about to ask what was going on, when he recognised the direction Rooster was going in and promptly shut his mouth. There were just some things he didn't particularly want to know, like bathroom habits. Bathroom habits were a hard no.

Rooster reunited with Maverick at the checkout, aviators on and he had the sweats. Maverick frowned.

"Are you sure it's just a cramp?"

"Mmhmm."

"Roos."

"I'm fine, it's a cramp."

"Yeah? Are you gonna make it home before you barf all over the place?"

"Who said anything about puking?" Rooster replied nonchalantly, already grabbing bags to put back into the cart. Maverick bumped him out of the way, sighing.

"Let's go."

Maverick flicked off the movie he'd been mindlessly watching for the last hour and glanced over at the couch, a fond smile crossing his features when he realised Bradley was passed out on the couch. He got up and grabbed a blanket, carefully tucking it over his godson. Despite Bradley insisting he was fine, Maverick put a hand to his forehead just to check and frowned. He was warm, like he was about to get sick, but not to the point Maverick was ready to bundle him into the Jeep and take him to the hospital. Sighing, he left Rooster to sleep, heading to his room.

Barely thirty minutes later he heard Bradley get up, followed by the bathroom door opening, and Maverick rolled on to his back as he waited for the sound of retching. Sure enough, it could heard loud and clear in the entire house and Maverick sighed.

"Yep, saw that comin'. Alright Roos, hold on."

He got out of bed rather reluctantly, wishing he could curl up in the warmth. As he rounded the corner into the bathroom he heard Rooster gasping for air, crying out in pain, and shoved the door open.

"Bradley, what's wrong?"

"It hurts, I thought it was a cramp but it hurts so bad."

"Where?"

Maverick knelt on the bathroom floor, first checking Bradley's fever again before doing a visual look over him. He was definitely sick, maybe enough for urgent care, but it was the way he was clutching his stomach that made him frown.

"It hurts on the right side?"

"Fuck- yeah, oh god, I kinda think I'm gonna pass out."

"Here, step back, take a breath. I think the stench is getting to you; it's definitely getting to me."

When Rooster was sitting closer to the tub than the toilet, Maverick reached for a piece of toilet paper.

"Wipe your mouth. Show me where it hurts again?"

Rooster gestured to the same lower right quadrant of his stomach and Maverick hissed.

"Alright, I'm gonna go get some shoes. Guess we better get you to the emergency room."

#Top Gun: Maverick #Top Gun Maverick #TGM #Bradley Rooster Bradshaw #Bradley Bradshaw #Rooster #Callsign: Rooster #Pete Maverick Mitchell #Pete Mitchell #Maverick #Callsign: Maverick #sickfic #appendicitis #hurt/comfort

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horizon-forbidden-sheesh · 11 months ago

Text

Writing Process: Google > Scrivener

When I began writing, I already had plenty of material to work from! For more details on this, read the Preamble. 💋

⚙️ When I began work on the fic, I was working in Scrivener, adapting first-person journal entries I'd drafted in my phone's Notes app. I wanted the full fic to be third-person in order to develop the background motivations for multiple characters. Scrivener gave me plenty of space to hold all the journal entries, timeline notes, and dialogue scraps I didn't know what to do with yet.

I originally planned for 10 Chapters, at ~10k words each. My initial outline looked like this:

I The Bulwark II The Kulrut III Returning IV Rest V What Was Lost VI Waiting VII The Scorcher (👈🏻 After 26 chapters and 90k words, we are currently here.) VIII Rebellion IX Endgame X Finale, or Returning, Reprise

However, I was quickly burning out due to the length of each chapter, and after asking around in Discord, I had a sinking feeling readers would be overwhelmed.

What I Did Instead:

At a certain point in April, after about ~6 months of on-again off-again drafting, I got fed up, a little drunk, and chopped up my enormous existing chapters into smaller chapters: five, to be exact. That night I posted the first one, ironically called 'The Last One.'

While I have been very selective about chapter titles, at the time, I didn't have a title for the whole shebang. But I was wine-drunk and flippant, and said "Oh just fuggin pick something u bish." So I called it 'The Marshal,' because it was just vague enough, y'know?

(I absolutely would have called it 'What I Choose,' if it didn't already exist.)

I told myself I'd post weekly. Just the first 10, ending in that bittersweet conversation Aloy has with Varl about Rost. It gave me 5 weeks to figure out how to write 5 more chapters. And I was off to a great start with 6 & 7 drafted in advance.

But then I got this comment on Chapter 6: "Looking forward to the Kulrut Hopefully we get some more of our power duo fighting together 😁"

I was... absolutely planning on skipping directly to the dialogue scene after the battle. And based on what I'd already plotted, I would need to squeeze in an extra chapter to get'er done, pushing out my 10 chapter outline. But I REALLY didn't want to disappoint anyone, especially if they were LOOKING FORWARD TO IT?!? 🥹

I was also traveling at this time, away from my computer and my stupid, bulky Scrivener file. So I whipped open a Google Doc and started firing on all cylinders to write a new Chapter 8 complete with Kulrut battle scene. And lo, I discovered:

⚙️ Writing in Google Docs gave me SO MUCH MORE FREEDOM. I could access my drafts from my desktop, my tablet, and my phone. These days, I write mostly in bed on my tablet, which is a FAR cry from the early days staying up till 2am at my desk.

It was extra comfy, because Google Docs is where I do all my client work. As I've mentioned: IRL, I'm a copywriter/project manager for print & digital design work. Mostly, I build websites, but as a freelancer, I work on a wide range of projects and the tools I use need to be flexible & accessible to a wide range of audiences.

The Google Suite is perfect for that, and I have a simple filing system for all my projects to keep things nice and neat. My writing work fit perfectly into that system, and the same flexibility & accessibility really supported my writing process.

Here's what my file folder looks like these days:

Which frankly, is a lot easier to navigate than this dumb Scrivener sidebar:

I finished chapters 8, 9, & 10 in Google Docs. I'm still really proud of myself for taking the leap and posting. Sharing your work is scary! Or at least, it was for me.

I'd never written ANYTHING on this scale before, and it felt like a huge accomplishment. I'll be honest, impulsively posting that first chapter with a short runway and a clear end-goal made it a LOT easier to be accountable. I would recommend this strategy to ANYONE!

Tips & Takeaways:

🖤 Consistency is key, but I've found it comes at a price. Trying to post once a week in perpetuity will slowly bleed you out. Wait to post until you have at least half your content under your belt, and set a clear end date—if only for your own sanity.

🖤 Be flexible in your outline!! In both Part 1 and Part 2 I ended up with an extra chapter that pushed my intended finale into the next season. I'm still glad I had an outline, but I'm grateful I left room for it to change. (This is something I would have had a LOT of trouble with 5 years ago! Personal growth FTW!)

🖤 When you start to feel like writing is just biting concrete, find the most fun way out. Is it writing the most exciting scene you can think of? Or is it looking at what you already have and finding a new way forward within your existing structure?

🖤 You're gonna be stuck with your title for the long haul, so make sure you like it. Or at least that it's something you can tolerate.

🖤 Do what feels natural. Everyone is different. If you're like 'okay yeah, but I really like writing by hand and then editing as I transcribe it' do that. Go bananas. Have a ball! Find your own way up the mountain. These tools may work for you, or they may send you into the pit of despair. And you should always avoid the pit of despair.

🖤 Write sober, edit drunk.

xo, Sheesh

#hfw #horizon forbidden west #kotaloy #The Marshal #the making of #writing process #writing tools #writing advice

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eggcats · 2 years ago

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one thing that gets me is that the more "high tech" ghost hunting equipment I see, the more "proof" I'm given, the more im positive it's almost entirely bullshit, I just become more of a shaniac the more "evidence" I see

which is an insane take from someone who's had legitimate experiences I can't explain (which isn't to say there ISN'T an explanation, but other than it being possible mental illness and occasional hallucinations, I don't know what it could be other than possibly paranormal)

I should be the easiest motherfucker to fool how did we even get to this point

And yet? Any time anyone tells ME anything I'm immediately like have you checked your carbon monoxide detector? Is the building structurally sound?, bc if it's not that also causes hallucinations. It's just a spec of dust or the house shifting or sleep paralysis or etc. I barely believe MY OWN experiences.

Ghosts aren't scary, y'know what is? Someone secretly living in your house. Any random who decides they wanna kill you. Living people. Ghosts are just invisible freeloaders who don't pay rent (assuming they even exist). They can't just stab me in the middle of the night like a human can.

(I've actually had some scary sleep paralysis experiences too but those I'm aware of what that is. Didn't make them any less scary tho.)

(long list of experiences after the readmore. I'm honestly making this post more so I can just talk about them tbh)

I've had:

moving shadows in my house

one was a full grown man shape, about 6+ feet tall running down the hallway that I could see from my bedroom. I just went "huh. Not my problem." And went back to listening to my radio

another was like, a huge tail-like shape just fucking swinging on the wall when I walked into the desk room at like 3am, and I even checked the light switch to make sure it wasn't causing a weird shadow, it wasn't, there wasn't anything that could have caused it (also the shadow was like, pitch black) so then I was like "huh. Not dealing with that" and turned out the light, turned around, walked down the hallway to my bedroom and climbed into my bed and went to sleep

saw literal floating orbs MORE THAN ONCE

one was on Halloween when my friends and I were hanging out at a graveyard (a moving floating orange one)

the other way me walking downstairs at night and hitting/walking into this huge bright blue blinding light that disappeared once I turned a real light on

had stuff constantly changing positions in my room

(that I explicitly asked my mom if she moved, the only person to enter my room other than me, and she was like "no? why would I do that?")

- one was a fucking nesting doll that KEPT TURNING AROUND TO FACE ME DESPITE ME FACING IT TO THE WALL WHENEVER I NOTICED IT MOVED...I kept it bc my aunt bought it for me from China so it was special even if it was possessed.

Sidenote: my brain HATES anything human-like with eyes, I will become CONVINCED it's following me I cannot handle the uncanny valley of it. That's only related bc that's the only reason I regularly turned it around, I didn't want it looking at me.

another memorable one was my huge cardboard dragon model that somehow got in my loft bed from my bookshelf, a feat it could absolutely not have gotten there without help

had some presence enter my college dorm room when I had a dorm to myself, and y'know how you can kind of feel when people walk behind you? I felt that as I was napping before class, and like I said, my roommate had moved out absolutely no one had keys to my room and it startled me enough it straight up woke me up. I think I had a few other experiences, but that was the most notable one

one time my cat woke me up bc he was chirping intently at the corner of a wall at like 2am. I looked. There was nothing there. So I sat down and looked at it and went "hey it's 2am can you stop bothering my cat so I can sleep?" and then suddenly my cat calmed down. So I went back to sleep.

more than once I'd turn off the kitchen light and I'd HEAR the light switch hit and it'd turn back on. likely faulty wiring but it was freaky to turn the lights off, sit down, and have them turn back on

I couldn't take a NAP on the beanbag chair under my bed without it feeling like something was grabbing me from my body

whenever I'd force myself back into myself (one time I straight up heard a voice go "you NEED to wake up" before I even could do so), and wake up FREAKED OUT, I'd be hit with this sense of "oh it was fine, you're So Tired go back to sleep" that just didn't feel natural, like it wasn't coming from me and was overpowering my actual reaction

Like, I'd suddenly feel exhausted (almost unnaturally so?) where if I didn't force myself to get up off the floor RIGHT THEN, I'd go right back to this half-asleep state and the feeling of being forced from by body would be much quicker this time

It felt like a kind of full-body tingle on the places I'd be yanked from by body, except it wasn't my arm going to sleep or anything bc it'd be on the side I Wasn't sleeping on, and would progressively get further down the more I was yanked

(if I was actually tired and fell legitimately asleep nothing happened, so I'd only sleep on the beanbag chair under my bed when I wanted to nap for a few hours, and not just doze)

Speaking of that spot - more than once I've heard a noise from there that I couldn't identify the cause of. It's possible I had some auditory hallucinations, but considering everything else it'd freak me out to hear a voice or a knock or something that like, was intentional and I couldn't identify what caused it.

I only had the "removed from my body" IN my bed once but it was way scarier

I was snoozing/relaxing during summer break late morning in bed, reading Shonen Jump, and got hit with such exhaustion that I suddenly couldn't stay awake - like, I Was fine a second ago, and now suddenly I'm almost passed out, can barely keep my eyes open

So I was like, okay I'll go back to sleep. And then???? I hear someone washing their hands in the bathroom down the hall??? And THEN I hear them walk down the hall towards my room, and the entire time I hear the approach I'm hit with an overwhelming sense of fear/dread - like I knew somehow it wasn't an intruder, but instead something paranormal? In a way I knew my only defense was to pretend I was still asleep

And suddenly I feel something grab me and lift me directly up into the air, and then forward, like incredibly fast?

(and listen, I was like an early teenager filled with indoctrination. I thought this was the second coming. I started praying, lmao. But! It seemed to have worked bc suddenly the thing dragging me moved SO MUCH MORE QUICKLY and I'm fucking DROPPED back into my body. Like, I legitimately think I moved when I re-entered it was so violent)

And I KNOW y'all are going to say I was asleep or something, but listen. I was absolutely awake. It was a CONSCIOUS EFFORT on my end to keep my eyes closed and PRETEND I was still asleep. I straight up waited a few minutes after I got back into my body before opening my eyes I was so freaked. I did NOT want to see whatever it was and I didn't want IT to know I was conscious.

I straight up agreed to go with my aunt and grandma to go swimming like they wanted me to. And I absolutely hated doing stuff like that. It just scared me so badly I didn't want to be home alone anymore.

and is, to THIS DAY, convinced my cat was possessed by something that I had to exorcise

listen. I know it sounds insane. Trust me. My cat's eyes were pitch black (not normal night cat eyes, like pure black), he glared at me in a "is THAT the best you can do" way when I flicked him on the nose for biting me, he bit me when I petted him (he does NOT bite unless you're handing him treats), and then when I "exorcised" it bc I was pissed it DARED to mess with my cat he was so exhausted he snuggled with me near my chest for about 10 minutes, and he HATES sleeping there (after he moved back to my feet where he normally sleeps)

If I had another explanation I'd give you one.

I should be susceptible to this shit, and yet you show me the ovilus and I'm like cool that's a scam

#in rambling but still #HOW DO I BARELY BELIEVE IN GHOSTS IM PRIME BELIEVER TERRITORY #long post #i feel like that comic relief character that's being haunted and there's so much evidence and they refuse to believe in ghosts #how did i see moving shadows and exorcised my cat and am still like yeah it's all bullshit #like ill agree that there's stuff i don't know #but at least 99% of evidence or experiences are bs #ill accept that 1% but honestly rather than ghosts its probably just science we dont understand yet #like all of human history

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soft-serve-soymilk · 1 year ago

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ASHJSKDSDKSK Dolphin I woke up randomly at 2am to this and I was HOWLING and kicking my legs like a giggling schoolgirl-- You have a knack for these kinds of posts. you really do. The perfect amount of confidence. The perfect amount of sheer incorrectness. I love you. Never change, Dolphin, never change. But now the onus is on me to, perhaps, elucidate the truth for your amusement. Here we go: 1) I was so tempted to give you a clue here. But then I thought 'hey the hair might be enough' and the fun is in seeing, well, your provided paragraph. Anyways, this is Sophia! She is the equivalent of Atlus going to Bandai Namco 'hey, can I copy your homework (Sophie, Tales of Graces)' and they said yes. She is a sentient AI-- the only one that matters-- and is a quiet, cheery soul who needs to learn about hearts and emotions <3. Sophie and Sophia would be actual besties I swear :'). Eating crablettes together, perhaps bonding on their shared character development of seeing themselves as more than a mindless machine... I've always wanted to see art of them together (maybe not at the expense of my head children but the thought is there that it would absolutely adorable) Also the bit about 'i'm going to beat you with cuteness' is going to live in my head forever. I died when I read that (positive, greatly amused) and would also make an animatic of it if I could She's from P5 Strikers! 2) This is Rei! And you are right in that she's from the Q games-- a party member and key story character in the first one, actually :D. She is quiet at the start, but she opens up to the group and is such a ray of sunshine afterwards. Well, until what is essentially the end of "arc 4" of that game. :(. Don't look anything up. And yes, the braincells DO go out the window when food is involved. Which also is :( when you know. This seems like a fair time to bring up her flower motif, which really is spoilers in plain sight if you know your hanakotoba/flower symbolism. To give you a clue, think of Idyllia, who she is similar too, and her last name Asteraceae ^^ Also when I read the 'is she romanceable' bit this immediately flashed through my head (it's a 10 second clip)

Well, she's iirc 14 but still. Dolphin please 😂 3) It's Jun, and yes, you did just slander my fav from the old gen of persona games 😂. Please do it again sometime, it's great. You're on point about his grade of antagonism! If I had to explain it to you, imagine an even more troubled Archie, who is now attempting to murder Dism. Also he's kind of going around doing this to people, so yes, he is part of some grand scheme:

Yes, there's two Jokers in the series. This one's for the elitists ^^ But yeah you literally do fight him several times like, y'know, Dism fights Archie. The Angel-Joker fight lived in my head for a while, and there was a time where I patterned that ONTO my son, in an older version of canon which has since been replaced. The more you know~ And then he becomes like, a regular party member. Did you know that Tatsujun is the most canonical queer ship in the entire series? Anyway here you go! I hope you learned something :>

So. Dolphin. Tell me about these little guys :3 (Persona edition) What are they like? What are their names? Backstory perchance? Mwehehe

Bonus:

*johnny yong bosch voice* PERSONA! thanks for getting me into this franchise btw, though my knowledge is still limited to the 60 hours we've played of P4 Golden so far and the bits you've shared about 3 and 5. Thus I can say with tenuous confidence that these guys aren't from those games at least? 😅

So who are they? Well first there's Psychic Chie aka, uh, Rosalind. I can see her filling a similar role as Chie though, being sorta loud and easily flustered and probably has a mad crush on whoever the protagonist is. She's got those Leia Rolando/Lynne from Ghost Trick vibes of being very cheerful and trying her best but oops! Problems instead! And maybe trauma!

I like the floating heart shaped beads around her, I hope she uses them as her weapon 💓 She's probably like "teehee I'm gonna beat you with cuteness!" and then it's like 'oh no Rosalind, you made the Shadows fall in love with you instead!' 'Oopsies!!' *canned laughter*

Next is a character whose art style looks like Q or Q2, and the pattern on their skirt suggests they go to Yasogmai High too? So either this is from a social link I didn't do (I never did join the drama club did I 😅) or they're a Q-exclusive character who is part of the same world as the P4 guys.

But that's all I got for the Naoto-esque deductions, time to make stuff up. This is Linette, a level-headed but quiet sophomore. She's not shy, she just doesn't speak much unless prompted. She probably has all of the braincells of the group, unless corndogs are involved, and then all sense goes out the window (I'm assuming you chose this picture for a reason and it's not just a coinidence she's eating one 😅).

She's probably an NPC who like helps you measure your social links or something, but occassionally she also shows up during plot events to say a couple helpful lines and then dip so the player cans solve the problem themselves. Or maybe she is a social link herself in a community garden or something, she does have a powerful (and adorable) flower motif going. Very cute. I think I'd like this character. Is she romanceable?

And then finally we have this sexy evil looking guy. I'm not sure if he's actually bad or just likes to look morose and debonair but I'm gonna say he's an antagonist at least, probably not the final boss though. You're not important enough for that.

Since he's bad he probably has a name like Eddelgard or Evangelion or something that starts with an 'E' because all bad guys have 'E' names, right Pav? ;) EXCEPT in Persona, where they all have 'A' names instead, so naturally this guy's name is Avangelion.

[It has occurred to me that Persona games usually give their characters Japanese names so I have a 0 percent chance of getting these names right. oh well.]

So Avangelion here has the swept back hair and the corsage because he wants to look like a ladies man and all the NPCS love him BUT the protagonist and party know his true nature, that he's actually manipulative and cunning (I'm probably slandering this guy sorry hope he's not your favorite 😂). He has some grand egotistical schemes where he's in charge of everything because he should be because he's better than everyone else and he says this aloud and somehow the NPCs are still like 'aw isn't he such a gentleman??💗'

It's either that, or he's a perfectly normal party character who like. Uses swords and magic and stuff. That's a possibility too.

And that's them! Thanks for letting me ruin these characters, I had heaps of fun making shit up 😂 feel free to send more if you'd like! Also feel free to take this chance to infodump the truth in the notes.

(Oh, and the bonus, Crazy Dancin' Mark. We all know and love him, beloved character of the Dancing All Night spinoffs.)

#fave #to keep #and yes all the best villains start with the letter E you're correct on that front ;)

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whaleofatjme1920 · 3 years ago

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Can you write hcs of reader being a close friend of the support class? (separate)

Beings Close Friends with the Support Class

[GN!Reader]

[Warnings: Like, none?]

[AN: Yes ofc!! I love platonic requests. I never can get enough of them.]

Medic

Ludwig is a chaotic friend. He's kinda scary at times? But you're not really scared of him, you're scared for him. Y'know?

He's always high energy with you. You have no idea where he gets it. A simple coffee hangout becomes running from the cops at 2am because he wanted some "really great plutonium".

Miss P. joins in on your excursions. I think Miss P., you and Ludwig become a trio of best friends.

He teaches you about medical knowledge and lets you infodump all your hyperfixations on him, and he remembers everything you tell him with surprising accuracy. Though, admittedly, he likes to pretend he doesn't. Ludwig is a very thoughtful man.

He's also getting back into the habit of cooking and baking more, so expect that to pop up at some point or another. Not the best at taking care of people,,,? But he tries really, really hard for you. He also says he loves you a lot! It's easier for him to say he loves his friends more than his SO for some reason.

Speaking of, he and Miss P. vet your partner because they both really, really care about you. The love Ludwig feels for you is especially deep. It's the same kind of love he feels for Heavy/Mikhail (outside of shipping, here they're best friends). He was a lonely kid growing up, so having you in his life is... It's a welcome change.

Sniper

You two get up to a lot of shenanigans too. Mundy is actually a great conversationalist (non-romantically, romance makes him panic), he just reserves that energy for people he actually really likes.

He may be an introvert, but he doesn't mind going to high energy places. The cool down time just takes a moment or two. So, the two of you will spend time out in nature, him teaching you about the world and whatnot. I feel he's much more of an older brother than a best friend.

He teases the hell out of you in the way an older brother would. Yes, the two of you play fight. He comes up with really stupid nicknames for you and you come up with absolutely brainless ones in return.

If you don't know survival skills now you do. He wants you to be able to take care of yourself when he's not around. He knows your partner will probably take care of you too, but he doesn't want you to depend on anyone. Also, he and everyone else on this list is the type of best friend to vet your partner to make sure they're absolutely perfect for you.

You and Mundy spend a lot of time in the RV talking about things. He opens up a lot to you. In turn, you can tell him anything you feel comfortable with. He's not GREAT at comfort words, but he hugs you, tells you how important you are and you're a blessing. Never could've asked for a better best friend.

His parents call you their second child. Mr. Mundy says Mick has a thing or two to learn from you. Sibling rivalry.

Spy

He's a really protective best friend in a sarcastic asshole way? You ever see that one screencap from Doctor Who that's like "This is Clara, she's nice for me so I don't have to be"? That's your entire dynamic.

He takes you to places you think are FAR too fancy. Tells you about the social cues for these things, but at the same time would murder someone for making one ill comment about you.

He will vibe check you unlike anyone else. It's his "job" to vibe check you on things he thinks are really important, and to be completely honest, they are. He would never be unfairly mean or do so over petty things.

Your future partner/current partner are constantly under his scrutiny.

The two of you spend a lot of time in his lounge reading, or talking about things. He also likes to dance from time to time. If you don't know formal dancing, now you do. He finds it really fun. Thinks you're pretty graceful.

Because he's gone a lot of the time, he's prone to sending you letters under false names. He signs his letters off to you with petal pressed flowers from the region he's in, and will joke that he's buying you gifts. He does give you legitimate gifts though-Spy adores you more than you could realize. He's never had a solid friend that just wanted companionship.

#tf2 medic headcanon #team fortress 2 medic #tf2 medic x reader #team fortress 2 sniper x reader #team fortress 2 sniper #tf2 sniper headcanon #tf2 sniper x reader #tf2 spy headcanon #tf2 spy x reader #tf2 headcanons #tf2 x reader

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pinkpigling · 4 years ago

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🌸 | Technoblade hcs with a Sensitive Reader, anyone?

Idk, guys. I'm writing this at 2am and i'm in the mood for something soft. Anyhow I won't stall you any longer. continue <3

Techno ;

He just kinda ..feels more protective over you. Y'know?

He's not the best at comfort but will try his best if you need his company.

He respects your space and will do whatever he can do make sure he makes you feel safe with him, since other than Ranboo, he relies on you too.

Techno will just wrap an arm around you and tell you to 'shh' and rub circles on your back to comfort you in the best way possible.

If you feel emotional over something that he feels like it's a minor thing, Then he'll just pull you aside and try to calm you down.

Your heart is fragile. And he will be there to protect it.

Will try to keep you away from Tommy's humor.

He enjoys it when there are peaceful times where you two just lay in a field of flowers, watching the sunsets rays of light blanket your bodies in warmth.

Those peaceful hours are cut short due to the time being flown by way too fast.

Techno occasionally gets confused how you're so emotional most of the time, but he doesn't want to really ask since he fears you might think that he's getting sick of you.

But really, he's just concerned.

His voice is monotone and all but he tries to tell you stories to take your mind off some certain stuff.

Will allow you to fall asleep in his arms if you feel like you can't be on your own. Or you just feel like his presence is enough to pull you into a slumber.

Techno will get confused often if you are crying due to happiness or sadness.

If you're crying of tears of joy, then he'll mistake it that you're upset and will rush by your side at once.

You helped him ease the emotional pain off him, so he likes to help you a lot, too.

He had an intimidating face, so he wouldn't be surprised if you suddenly started crying in front of him. Surprisingly, you didn't.

Likewise, you're clingy to him. He appreciates the thought, but tells you not to get too close in case your heart can't take the emotional damage he might give you if he tells you about the betrayals, friendships and more.

Really,

if anything, he wants you to cling on him so he can keep an eye out on you.

You enjoy his head pats and gentle touches on the cheeks. You taught him how to boop you on the nose so he can do it to you whenever you feel a little upset or sad.

If anything, Techno overall just appreciates you being with him and he is proud of you for trying to be more strong.

He will wrap both arms around your waist or shoulders and pull you into a hug and whisper happy stuff into your ear.

You're sensitive at heart, so hearing those words really means a lot that you just start sobbing on his shoulder while trying to mutter out a 'thank you' in between your incoherent sobbing.

doesn't understand a lot of stuff but will do some research on how to comfort so he can support you in times of need.

#dream #dream smp #technoblade #the-blade #dream smp techno #technoblade x reader #technoblade headcanons #headcanons

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sleepless-in-starbucks · 3 years ago

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14 (bodyguard AU) and 46 (blind date) sounds fun,,, your choice of ship ( ˘ ³˘)♥ ( ˘ ³˘)♥ ( ˘ ³˘)♥

14. Bodyguard AU || 46. Blind date

Random choice generator got me creativisleep!

roman's a semi-popular actor- he's never really been to an awards show, and he's not been in That much, but he had a small but strong role in a real popular film and plenty of leading ones in lesser known movies. he's got enough of a following to be satisfied with himself, even if it isn't That huge of one

because of this, roman didn't take the possible dangers of his fame seriously... until he got jumped by one fan at a play in his hometown. he came out fine (he's always fine ;p) but it made him reconsider his choice to not have some sort of protection

he ends up hiring remy to be his bodyguard, a choice he Slightly starts regretting when he realizes remy, despite having excellent marks out of bodyguard school, is about as professional as a golden retriever

they take roman's food out of his fridge Whenever, borrow Way too many of his shirts (and roman hasn't seen his BMC 'boyf riends' hoodie since they got their hands on it), and is never in typical bodyguard wear (they wore a suit for the interview and never again)

but they also bring roman coffee (when did they get his regular figured out...?), talk to him like he's just a Person and not a celeb, and have yet to try and kill him themself so. roman's alright with them staying

(plus, is it so wrong if roman enjoys how they look? he deserves for a bit of an eye-candy sorta bodyguard, damnit, they're with him all the time after all)

remy's been with roman as his bodyguard for a few months when roman decides he cant just keep Lookin at a pretty person, he deserves to have a pretty person to kiss and cuddle with too!! so he pokes around for a bit, finds a non-homophobic service (he's pan, so he could Technically use a plain ol' straight service, but he refuses on gay principle), and uses it

idk how datin apps work but this one that im makin up is a blind match up app, which takes ur information and uses it to randomly pair u up with random accounts. the app keeps account info privated until After the first date has been gone on, to really maintain the 'blind match' aspect. the matched up people play a mini guessing game through the app about places they can go for a date until location and time is determined

roman likes the idea of the app mostly to keep his own identity secret as long as possible- he doesnt want people pickin his account Just bc he's a celeb, y'know?

the first couple of blind dates dont go well tho... most are nice people who roman just isn't compatible with, one was a straight woman who spent the entire date being Very homophobic despite roman's rainbow heart + pan flag pins, and someone who was clearly Too Much Of A Fan (remy had to physically pull them off of roman and help him escape the park before they could latch back on)

oh, did roman not mention? remy's been coming on all his dates with him

because of course they are! they need to protect roman! whether that's by eating dinner in the booth over or sitting two rows back at the cinema or awkwardly half-stalkin roman and his date while they walk about

so they're always there, to bring roman there and take him home, and listen when he complains about the bad matches and lament the almost-winners, and convince him he is a catch that needs to try again because eventually Someone will realize he really is too good to pass up

(remy always says that line in a weird way)

so he keeps trying... until roman has possibly the worst date ever

because he gets stood up. it's fifteen minutes past the scheduled date time, he's gotten no text explainin where they are, but he's sittin at the restaurant alone and starting to become rather upset by the pitying look the server gives him when he says he's still waitin on someone else before he orders

remy slides into the seat across from him at the 20 minute mark. shoots roman an apologetic smile that an outsider would mistake as a 'sorry im late' one when roman knows it's a 'sorry they didnt show' one

roman appreciates the gesture to save him, but he almost just wants to go home at this point. he's tired and bein stood up feels like Shit, actually, and he's about ready to call off the whole dating thing really, dramatic as that may be (like it's not his middle name)

but remy says smth about this place having really good sandwiches, and it's clear they're tryin so hard to help roman out here, even a little, and roman can't just dismiss that effort, so he picks up his menu again and orders smth and tries to ignore the way his face heats up just the slightest at the relieved smile remy flashes next

lunch with remy is great, actually, better than it would've been with whoever couldnt be bothered to show or apologize or Anything. remy even knows the way to an ice cream shop on the way home, sayin it's for roman's 'broken heart' as they pay for it

except, well... roman's heart isn't feelin so broken anymore

it's actually feeling pretty put together. really functional. functioning really fast. especially when roman's looking at remy. or when remy's lookin at roman. or when they smile. or when they laugh. or when they speak. or when they-

roman doesn't fall asleep until 2am that night, heart still racing a bit, screaming into his pillow a bit as he acknowledges he is wholly and totally head-over-heels for his bodyguard

he tells remy the next day he's done with dating for a bit, saying he's still upset over being stood up. he doesn't mention that it's also bc remy's ruined all other people for him

things try to fall back in routine from there, but it's a bit harder when roman's trying to not be so in love with someone who just works for him. and remy's definitely started pickin up on it too- they had asked him just last if he was okay, that he didn't seem as upset by remy takin his clothes anymore, and that didn't seem like him, was he getting sick?

the opposite, actually, absolutely nothing makes me feel better then seeing you walk around in my shirt or jacket or whatever else, please never stop and also kiss me?

roman just said he was tired

eventually... roman decides this can't keep going on. remy's giving him more weird looks these days, and roman is pretty sure being around remy so much without Any kisses is starting to cause brain decay (it's not, it's really not, remy always bein on his mind is just a side effect of.... pretti........). so, he takes matters into his own hands

admittedly, maybe firing remy wasn't the best way to go, given remy immediately demands to know why, what they did wrong, even asking if roman's being blackmailed into this

"blink once for yes, twice for no" remy asks, lowering the sunglasses they always have on to look directly at roman's eyes

roman doesn't blink for a full minute. he might not be breathing for that minute either. has he ever seen remy's eyes this close? has he ever seen them at all? they're such a brilliant shade of brown. roman could drown in them. he might be already

roman's pretty sure he started this conversation standing up, but maybe not, because when he finally blinks and remembers things outside of remy's eyes exist he's sitting down and remy looks extremely concerned

"okay... what's wrong, hun?" they ask, and oh no, they look so sad, and worried, and that's not good, roman should fix that right now, regardless of whatever he was doing before (he's forgotten)

"im gay" he responds intelligently. this will fix everything

remy, however, just looks confused. "yes?"

"for you" roman adds, helpfully, sure that Now remy will understand they're just really very pretty and nothing's wrong and if they feel bad still they should look in a mirror because then they'll be good again

now it's remy's turn to sit in silence, expression frozen in one of shock. they still havent put their sunglasses back on, so roman doesnt mind, bc this gives him more time to stare at remy's eyes

"you're having a breakdown because you're gay for me???" remy finally asks, expression unfreezing to look incredulous and a little hurt

roman returns a similar look. "im not having a breakdown!"

remy scoffs. "yeah, sure, right, that's why you suddenly froze and completely stopped breathing and minorly collapsed after i... look off my shades to look at you..." they suddenly break out in a smirk. "oh my gods, you're a gay disaster"

roman doesn't try to deny it, especially with the knowledge he apparently did stop breathing to admire remy's eyes. they have a point

"how long?"

"since that date you hijacked after i got stood up" roman admits. he finds it extraordinarily rude when remy starts laughing

...until they're pulling out their phone, hurriedly opening up the exact same dating app roman had been using, showing a log of all the dates they had planned- there's only one marked as having actually been attended

same date time and place of the one where roman had assumed he had been stood up

"you broke my heart!" roman says as remy puts away their phone, over-dramatically, not actually giving a damn, just feeling gay and a bit giddy at the thought remy hadnt gone to any of the other dates, just theirs

no longer worried quite as much about roman for the moment, remy's smirk just grows, smoothly moving from being crouched in front of roman to being set firmly in his lap, lazily brushing hair out of his eyes and wow was remy always this warm? and stunning? and perfect?

"i dunno babe... sounds more like i stole it" remy teases, movin from playing with roman's hair to cuppin his cheek, leaning in close and not even bothering to pretend to be looking at anything other than roman's lips. "which, yeah, bad bodyguard etiquette... i hope you can forgive me..."

roman doesn't need his words to answer that tease

#oops this got long ':) i got distracted by the gays... happy pride month djhbvcfjds #fanfic #creativisleep #ts roman #ts remy #nb!remy #the cryptid speaks #meri #yeah roman just. has an all out gay panic disaster moment right there #poor man 😔#also my characters keep ending up kissin in each other's laps can y'all tell im a touchstarved gay yet /hj

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tenacityreturns · 3 years ago

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“ i’m not used to letting people close. i don’t like being vulnerable— but i want to, with you. i want to let you in. ” / aokaga :)

@peachmuses

sleepovers have a habit of building a special kind of courage in the deepest hours of the night. thoughts he never thought he'd voice are whispered and received, then returned in kind. sleepovers with friends are bad enough. do you think you can do stuff in heaven? kagami had asked kuroko one night. then, with that same blind courage fostered by hours of time spent in trustworthy company, he continued before kuroko had a chance to speak: i hope so. i wonder if my mom plays much basketball. she used to, sometimes, y'know? she liked volleyball more, though.

but sleepovers with aomine are different. they're closer. scarier, somehow. it's so much easier to relax into aomine's arms when they're lying on the couch. when kagami shuts his eyes, and he can feel rough fingertips absently smoothing across his hairline, he feels as safe as he thinks he’s ever going to be. he knows he’s safe. he’s loved. when they're falling asleep, bodies exhausted after a last minute one-on-one, and it's his turn to brush his knuckles down aomine's arm until the very last second, he feels his love wholeheartedly. it’s impossible to be near aomine and not touch him, and not touch him gently. so softly, like he’s glass that could shatter at any second.

this kind of peace had never interested him before. kagami had understood wanting to make out with someone, but just lying there? how could he ever want to do that? and yet, falling asleep without him felt cold now. kagami didn't devote much thought to the trajectory of a relationship. now they're together, they've gone beyond the teasing and play-fighting to reveal a special tenderness below that he could never have imagined even if he'd wanted to. isn't that cheesy? isn't it so lame to be so happy and quiet with someone like aomine? aomine, his rival. aomine, the guy who winds him up just for fun. the guy who can't give a genuine compliment about something without sliding in an insult of some kind? it took so long to convince him to try some of kagami's cooking, for instance! and then to hear that aomine liked it took even longer. he's so annoying.

and he's here. awake at 2am. kagami can't sleep if he knows aomine's lying there, staring at the ceiling. what if he’s worrying about something? what if his thoughts are dark again? this isn’t a fight he wants aomine to be in by himself ( though kagami knows there’s not much that he can do to help ).

"relax," kagami murmers, pulling the covers up to his cheeks. he turns and watches aomine blink. his eyes look heavy.

"hadn't thought of that," comes aomine's half-whispered reply.

yeah, so it hadn't been that useful. alright. he'll give him that one. kagami shuffles closer, coming to lay his head on the other pillow, and tangle his fingers in aomine's closer hand.

“you wanna, like, talk about it or anything?”

“i’m not used to letting people close. i don’t like being vulnerable— but i want to, with you. i want to let you in."

he exhales. it’s more than he’d been expecting to hear. but that makes two of them. kagami's got walls higher than he knew how to climb, let alone lower to allow people in. he doesn't like talking about any of this, either, but that doesn't matter. the fight or flight forming a ball of worry in his gut, in his throat, have no pull. kagami's fighting them. he's determined. the problems they're talking about aren't his, though they sound familiar enough, but it's aomine talking about his own problems. he nods.

“it’s hard to trust people like that. with me, i worry, i guess, like---” he exhales, “i mean to say that it’s scary letting people in. i feel like once i show people the shit i go through, they’ll think it ain’t worth their time,” his gaze doesn’t waver as aomine turns his head to look at him, “i’m not tryin’a make this about me, i’m just trying to say i get it.”

aomine opens his mouth like he’ll say something, but stops himself last minute. instead, he leans over and kisses him. it’s chaste, and sweet, but kagami’s worried that aomine thinks he made it about himself!

“i’m sorry if i say the wrong thing,” kagami continues, hand on aomine’s cheek, thumbs brushing cheekbone, “you know what i mean?”

“yeah, i do. this time, i’m not thinking about anything.”

“you’re not?”

“no. i’m just--- heavy, i guess.”

kagami doesn’t know what to say, so he doesn’t. he raises to his elbows and drops little kisses across aomine’s face. blue eyes close, he feels a smile dawn, and is encouraged that this is at least one right thing to do. when he has lost count, he draws back, hoping to find that perhaps aomine has fallen asleep after all. alas, aomine opens his tired eyes once more.

“let’s do something. lemme make you some food.”

“food? it’s like 2 in the morning.”

“yeah. come on. if you can’t sleep, you should get up.” one of the few facts about his mother that kagami had been given was that when she couldn’t sleep, she’d go get cereal and read a book. he doesn’t remember her doing it, but he’s carried that with him since asao told him. it helps! as he stands, he realises that aomine hasn’t moved. kagami is so tired that standing makes his head spin, but he pushes through it. “come on, babe. trust the method. my mom used to do it and it worked for her.”

“your mom?”

“yeah.”

aomine climbs out of bed. “will you tell me about her?”

kagami looks over uncertainly. it’s embarrassing how little he actually knows, and it’s hard to be vulnerable, but he wants to let aomine in. and maybe it will be a decent distraction from whatever is making him feel heavy? or isn’t this just turning the attention on himself? is that bad, or good? a distraction, or stealing the show, somehow? aomine’s eyes lie in shadow, as with the rest of the room, but kagami feels him in the dark. feels the trust, the gentle vulnerability of admitting what he had. kagami takes his hand and smiles.

“her name was hikari,” he began. sleepovers have a habit of building a special kind of courage in the deepest hours of the night, huh?

#peachmuses #aonon.#drabbles.#answered.#mum tag.#kagami: its gotta be between the hours of 2am and 5am for me to talk about my mother. otherwise i am too guarded.

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