#not employed yet
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I was looking for a job
And now I have a job
And heaven knows I'm miserable now
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it’s very easy to tell the good satires and pastiches from the bad ones because the bad ones are too afraid to live within the form. like if you are doing work with fairy tales and you are refusing to look closer at the underlying logic and unspoken rules of what can seem at first to be a senseless form, you are not going to create meaningful work. to borrow a turn of phrase originally used by maria tatar, if you refuse to enter “the house of fairy tale” as anything more than a gawking tourist, you will miss the particular order to the way the table is set, the rooms that are locked vs the rooms that are simply difficult to enter, the set of the floorboards and the position of the furniture. whatever you build will then be a gilded imitation of how you believe the house of fairy tale ought to look, the table set according to your educated specifications and every door open. there can be no interrogation of themes from a writer who views the form as beneath them!
#it speaks!#sondheim understood this with into the woods; the deconstruction of narrative itself is able to happen because we are able to believe in ->#<- the fairy tale logic he employs prior to this.#its a kids book but adam gidwitz understood this with a tale dark and grimm!!#cant speak for the rest of the series but that first book uses the absurdity of fairy tale logic to speak about the absurdity of ->#<- adulthood and the pedagogy present in many fairy tales to discuss the ways parents hurt their children.#rule of threes is important but theres so much on my list ive yet to read; always welcome recommendations.#fairy tales#into the woods#<- this comes from musings on how successfully i feel that musical functions so it gets the tag
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been thinking thoughts of a sonic lethal company au of sorts....
i'd like to make game/character profiles with proper suit designs and personal flare eventually but i really, really needed to draw them Right Now LOL
#these two things rotate in my brain 24/7#the brainrot is real#employing my one talent: making obscure crossovers#omg i did not!! include rouge!!! no!!!!#sorry if they're ooc#not too familiar yet and i got a bit silly#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#amy rose#miles tails prower#knuckles the echidna#shadow the hedgehog#sonic fanart#lethal company#artilite#artilite doodle
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the fact that my biggest dream is to have a job i love and am dedicated to, which also pays well enough, and to have my own apartment and yet it's practically impossible, however simple it may seem, really says enough about the state of the world
#you'd think being employed and housed and living comfortably enough for it to be more than surviving is a basic and expected thing#and yet here we are#having to call it a luxury#real life stuff#irl#economy#politics#housing
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idk, crowsx3 design??? sdkjfh
the heads are all made of porcelain, and can rotate like that one horror short film with kevan brighting voicing in it
#artswin#quick sketch up#idk#tsp#tspud#crowscrowscrows#crowsx3#the stanley parable#stanley parable#the stanley parable ultra deluxe#ik im probably not the first one to come up with this but i have an idea for smth so i wanted to make a vague idea for a design first#my current idea rn is that. at least for my au. since theres three crows. there needs to be three sort of proctors for the game#and since proctors are people who oversee exams/officer with responsibility at a school#what im thinking is that narrator and curator are both proctors who “oversee”/“admin the game" (according to oxford)#or “one who is emploied to manage to affairs of another”/“person who takes charge of or acts for another” according to wikipedia#they both at least have control over the game (ie. narrator writing the script n stuff/curators museum etc)#but they need a third.#in 2013 tsp 432 goes missing. sees that the wheel needs to keep turning#the crows see him understanding the situation. and how he wants to keep the game going. so they appoint him as another proctor#thus timekeeper. who gets added on to manage the settings and time in ultra deluxe#i have more to say but idk just yet sdkjfhskdf#i feel nervous just bc idk if im stealing someones idea or concept for this. or even getting it wrong even if its just an interpretation#maybe later ill explain idk sdkjfkjsf
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Whole household came down w food poisoning thr day before 4th of July...... are you for real here
#like. 4 years running that ive had a miserable 4th of july ..#im finally not employed this time around and yet. something managed to make everything fucked
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Finding out that Sae Nijima is only 24 years old is blowing my mind. I swear she gives 30s vibes. All these fans calling her a mommy milf and shes not even old enough to have a quarter life crisis? Also this makes Akechi's comments abt stress being bad for the skin so much funnier. Dude why are u talking abt anti-aging to a young adult
#i cant believe sae is literally my big sister's age?? and my sis isnt even employed yet#let fictional women be older than 25 challenge. difficulty: impossible#although this does make me feel worse for her having to be makoto's guardian after their dad died#i understand her frustration with their dad now bc becoming a caretaker at that young age sucks#sae nijima#goro akechi#my post#persona 5#persona 5 royal#p5#p5r#p5r sae#p5r akechi
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re: last post and rambling thoughts on torture before i pass out - the key thing about represented torture to me is a matter of bodies being humiliated and punished before an audience. there's a distinct line between who experiences bodily torture and gets violated on screen vs. the threat of or implied past torture. more important to me is the matter of who gets visually stripped of power before us, as the voyeuristic audience. when i speak on humiliation - it can be something as simple yet starkly different as dean getting to keep his shirt on while hooked up in hell vs. meg strapped to a table naked in s6. abbadon threatening dean with possession described as a kind of rape (9.02) vs. crowley making a rape joke before possessing sam a few episodes later. (and yeah, stuff like possession falls under the added filter of genre fantasy, separating us from the reality of the violation that's occuring). really, torture just comes down to one thing: what gets shown to us. what gets lingered upon.
no one's free from physical torture/humiliation on this show. but there's a hierarchy for depicted humiliation etched out on the basis of masculinity (a Hero can never appear too weak) and gender - but most importantly, divided by monstrosity/humanity - especially obvious in how it treats its women (thinking on the good charlie/bad charlie plot from s10. who gets brutalised on screen?). there's also the added dimension of race, and the brutality of deaths inflicted on characters of colour on this show. there's a difference between a regular on-screen death and an excessively cruel one. the difference between getting stabbed vs. being made to drink bleach while your wife watches (3.01) vs. your head garroted on screen (3.07). one carries heavier overtones of humiliation. because to bring it back around again - torture is a theatre of punishment, first and formost, just like a public execution. it functions as a warning, but it also acts as a social sacrificial ritual. a means of collective punishment.
and on this show, the lines get blurred between its metaphorical hierarchies (monstrosity/humanity) and incidental inclusion of real world systemic oppression (along the lines of represented gender/race/disability etc.). monstrosity often gets used metaphorically in speculative fiction to stand in for categories of marginalised people, and it also functions similarly on this show. it all boils back down to a fundamental truth: torture, just like sexual violence, just like abuse, is the natural language of hierarchies. it's the language by which power (re)asserts itself. everything falls under the umbrella of systemic violence.
Black Sails S2E1 because this is one of the clearest illustrations of this principle i've seen yet on tv
(yes i'm throwing Foucault's Discipline and Punish onto a harebrained Supernatural meta i'm writing at 2 am. what about it)
#i'm SO sleepy this is SUCH an incoherent mess i might delete this in the morning GOOD FUCKING NIGHT#the line “it's like pornography. you know it when you see it” on that meta.....yeah#marginalised bodies are disposable as monstrous bodies on this show are disposable sometimes it intersects for horrifying results#the question of this show's milquetoast approach to torture? (“ohhh torture is bad!” yet it continues to freely employ torture)#because it's a show written by white american liberals with a guilt complex over the whole thing#thinking on salo again..........maybe tomorrow is when i release my sam/salo comp.......#i should srb my sam-gordon meta in the morning too....#my meta#j.txt
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Fantasy works commonly (though obviously not always, this is a general observation, and I'm more of a scifi enjoyer than a traditional fantasy enjoyer anyway so my pool of reference is limited) place this divide between magic and technology. The two are placed as incompatible to the point that many fantasy worlds are almost stuck in this semi historical setting, not really allowed to grow or evolve past this mythological past, as if we can’t imagine magic and technology mixing. Why would technology evolve if we have magic? The stories I think of rarely outright say this, and I think writers create these types of settings more out of genre tradition than a genuine belief in never mixing magic and technology, but it saddens me that we so rarely see secondary fantasy worlds that are futursitic, or modern fantasy worlds that aren't either an obvious mirror of our present or literally our present but with a secret magical underbelly that has had little to no impact on the evolution of the world at large.
And it just occurred to me that in critical role, the divide is more often placed between magic and the divine, while magic and technology are presented as almost one and the same, and nowhere is that more obvious than in the Age of Arcanum. The magical fey changeling of Avalir was fantasy tv personality!! Magic doesn't hinder growth or trap the world in a medieval state of nature where people become incapable of imagining technological growth due to the convenience of magic: magic is technology. Magic interweaves into their societies, their ways of life. They study it, they grow it, it doesn't hold them back any more than discovering fire or electricity held us back because it’s the very foundation of their growth. How very fitting that Corellon, god of the arcane, takes the mortal form of an aeormaton, a robot, a being we would normally consider the anthitesis of magic, but which here is the embodiement of the sameness of the two.
#of course there are exceptions the most obvious being percy#who was a very technological character with very little knowledge of or interest in magic#yet even he sometimes employed keyleth's help in incorporating magic into his designs#anyway. fantasy settings that feel like historical fiction with magic sprinkled on top often bore me a little#and I'm excited about how critrole c2 and c3 are breaking this mold of a divison between scifi/tech/futuristic and fantasy/magic/historical#still wish there were more genuinely modern/futuristic secondary world fantasy settings out there tho...#the creative potential of the worldbuilding of it all!!#critical role#cr3 spoilers#nella talks cr#cr3#anyway. my brain is mush today and I'm going to take a nap. vacation time baby
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Buck and Eddie could full out have sex at the bachelor party in 7x06 and some of y’all would be like “Buddie canon is so dead/never happening” and also complain about it being bad and evil because “it’s cheating” or whatever 🙄
#chapel for ts#the double standards are ridiculous#the writers are doing the same sorts of plots employed for straight slow burn ships for decades#and yet every five minutes I have someone in my inbox complaining about it being the worst thing in the world#please touch grass take a xanax go outside something
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School is going so great and also I am so exhausted and also I am having an existential crisis
#teaching tag#the kids are great and I think I’m doing a good job teaching them and also I miss the ones from last year so much 😭😭😭😭😭#even though I know I will miss these too once they’re gone like why does 😭😭😭 it gotta be 😭😭😭😭 this way#it’s just a totally different vibe every time#the school year has a new flavor!!! and I hate that!!!!!#change is so bad and disgusting 😭😭😭#but also I think it’s good and I’m doing a good job keeping them moving#one of the revelations/realizations that I’ve had. is that I’m just starting to shift my focus#from …. wanting them to be moved to just wanting them to be engaged?#and I think it’s better.#I’m not quite wholly there. but I mean learning how to actually construct a class so that they are busy and their minds are being stretched#and employed and learning on multiple levels without just saying what I want to happen at them#and it’s a good shift but also a shift that’s making me sad#for whatever reason#it feels like another sign of maturity#but sometimes I miss my own highs#mostly I’m just so unbelievably tired lol.#like the physical and mental stamina required that I just don’t have yet#is so much.#but some strong starts have been made#and also (dare I say this lol) the effects of my reputation being established are also working in my favor#they’re a little bit scared. they’re a little bit more ready to engage and they’re more on board than they used to be#like. it’s happening faster. in terms of getting the class under control#and that’s nice. cause I remember it used to take weeks and weeks. months really.#and of course it’s ongoing and unpredictable.#but it’s better this time#anyway just rambling
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So fascinating that cats have an innate sense of naughtiness. That they have a number of strategic moves they try to employ to get away with their naughty acts. Pretending they were just about to clean themselves. Showing sudden interest in smelling the normally uninteresting things that happen to be right next to a thing they are not allowed to touch. Stretching and relaxing in just such a way that their paw just so happens to end up right next to the food they are definitely not trying to steal. It shows that not only do they know they are doing something naughty, but they have contingencies set in place in case they are caught in the act. Cats know what lying is and they will lie to your face. Remarkable little bastards.
#victor is addicted to the mouthfeel of foam and has been trying all day to get his little teeth into my cosplay project#and he has yet to succeed but he is determined#employing every little sneaky trick in the book
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Actually horrible that I must go to work when there is snow on the ground and there are books to be read and cocoa to be drunk and knitting to be done.
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my work is going to do their third mass layoff in 3 months soon and i'm fucking scared even though my department is only 2 people and they're talking about expanding it so it's super unlikely we'll be affected
#i have horrible bad luck though and i haven't been employed there long enough this time to have unemployment benefits again#anyway yeah i can't sleep due to anxiety whats up#ive been awake since 5:30 am and yet here we are
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I was just thinking what a cool job this might be.. what if you were just the person who makes little still images of cute animal figurines doing various activities to post on social media...? like.. show up to work and just spend the whole day like "hmm... this table should be placed to the left a little.. let me set this miniature bagel down in this way... this tiny rabbit should be wearing a scarf", setting the backgrounds, the lighting, etc. ... dream job perhaps lol...
#I'm sure it probably doesnt pay much lol#but.. maybe in some ideal world..#with my health and mental conditions and level of functioning there are VERY few Jobs I could actually EVER manage aside from#just being self employed and being able to set my own hours somehow etc... But every once in a while I come across something like this#and it's like... hrmm.... Yes... perhaps if I could align myself in this hyper specific scenario under hyper specific conditions in a#precise and predictable way and everything worked out perfectly and I had all the accomodations I might need.. maybe I could#do THAT thing then .. lol#Not just generally a 'social media manager' or something. I think that would drive me into the throes of madness#but SPECIFICALLY 'person who makes the images for the calico critters social media' and also#the place i have to go to do that is either my home or within walking distance of my home and also i rarely have to interact#with others aside from the posts probably going through some approval process and initial ideas where they tell me what#type of scene to make and also i somehow make $90.000 a year doing this for only 4 days a week with frequent sick breaks#dreamy sigh and so on and so forth and such and so on#ANYWAY........#the idea of meticulously placing little pastries and miniature crayons and stuff around all day until the scene is perfectly crafted.. SO#SO so appealing to me... like designing environments in the sims except it's real and tangible.. And also imagine having access#to the FULL library of miniature items. to me that would be just as good as owning them#Like.. I get to use them and make little scenes with them and hold them and stare at them and everything except also#they're all kept at work so I don't have boxes of clutter filling home.#unlimited access to every little miniature food ever crafted yet none of the downsides (purchase cost and storage)#etc. etc. ANYWAY ...#Chuckling confidently as I add this onto the 'List Of ''Real'' Jobs I Could Do' which is just a notebook sheet of paper with only like 5#other similarly unlikely hyperspecific scenarios scribbled down
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