#not because they’ll say anything worth my time I just hate notifications

[purplesectorss]

L*ndo is in post-race media saying “I lost a bit of respect for him” buddy we ALL lost respect for you!

[thefanficmonster]

Just Another One

Sequel to: ‘A Little Bit Of Honesty’

Corpse Husband x Actress!Reader (Female)

Warnings: Angst, Heartbreak, Mention of bad past relationships, Swearing

Genre: Angst, Romance, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: They keep proving each other right in the most wrong ways possible. They each want to be guarded even if that means the other will be hurt. Maybe that’s what they want - to hurt one another because they’ve already hurt each other once before.

Requested by the lovely readers who enjoyed the previous fic ‘A Little Bit Of Honesty’. Sorry for the large time gap between the posting of the two fics but I still hope you guys will take the time to read it and if so I hope you enjoy it! Love you all with all my heart, Vy ❤

When you go out of your way to avoid leaving the house your options of entertainment are severely limited and you can’t blame anyone or anything but yourself for it. Today, I wouldn’t have gone out of my apartment even if I was one of those people who frequent the outdoors seeing as how the sky is trying to flood the Earth with all this nonstop rain. It does set a mood for a perfect night in but when you spend all your nights in doing the same thing over and over again, the atmosphere is practically meaningless. And so I ‘ve decided to resort to channel surfing as though I’ll find something interesting on TV that I haven’t yet seen on one of my social media timelines.

I pass several cooking channels on my journey, making a mental note of their individual numbers in case I don’t stumble across anything capable of better distracting me from my boredom and loneliness that’s slowly starting to creep in. I pass by a few movie channels showing teenage romcoms as if to celebrate the start of summer so you can imagine how quickly I moved on from those. Then come the celebrity channels which can often get a laugh out of me because of how pathetic and unbelievably ridiculous they are. And so, I stick around one where there’s a broadcast on a movie showing that’s happening tonight in LA. Oddly enough, despite my anxiety, going to a movie showing has always been on my list of things I’d want to do. This can be considered living vicariously or rubbing salt into the wound that I’ll probably never go because my anxiety and fear of being recognized is too severe. Either way I stick around to watch it.

And man do I regret it now looking at several different angels of a couple of actors entering the venue where they are to be photographed and asked questions by the mob of paparazzi that’s gathered due to the massive event. That in and of itself doesn’t sound - and really isn’t - so bad. However, it’s important to note that the actress in this duo is Y/N. Y/N L/N. My Y/N....shit, sorry, I mean my FRIEND Y/N, her arm linked with whatever-the-fuck-his-name-is who is holding an umbrella above the both of them, shielding them from the downpour of rain that is also taking place in LA apparently.

“The two were seen entering the venue earlier this evening, looking particularly cozy in each other’s presence if I do say so myself. The rain probably worked nicely in their favor.“ The first reporter says, her teasing tone of voice sending chills of anger down my spine as I glare at the screen, hands balled in fists, jaw clenched - all my body’s instinctive reactions to what is being shown to me. I know I technically have no right to behave or feel this way, in fact I should be fucking happy for Y/N and her successful career and the progress in her love life. But damn it how can I?! I was so damn close to kissing this girl! I was so fucking close to falling in another trap, tripping and landing in the embrace of another liar and user, another girl who switches partners more often than shoes. How could I’ve been so reckless to get so close to her even platonically? How did we become close enough for me to 1) show her my face; 2) start inviting her over to my apartment regularly; and how didn’t I notice the kind of messed up person she was all that time.

She was all sweet and flirting and shit a week or so ago and now she’s doing the exact same thing with him! The cameras are capturing them perfectly: every laugh, every exchange of a knowing look or nod, ever smack to his arm when he tells a joke. But what bothers me most is the many times he’s wrapped his arm around her to pull her closer. Not just for pictures, but just because the fucker felt like it! And Y/N doesn’t seem to mind it at all. 

“They have been the talk of the town recently, so while they could just be adding fuel to the fire, they could also have been caught by the flame and ‘caught feelings’ as they say. Regardless these two are a view we’d like to see more often.“ The other reporter says and that’s the final straw.

In one swift motion I turn the TV off and throw the remote across the room. It hits the wall and falls to the ground in several pieces, broken by the force of the impact. Just like I am broken by the force of the impact of these news. I don’t know which is worse: the fact that I fell for her and almost let her know it; the fact that she’s just another member of the club I don’t want anywhere near my life; or the fact that I can’t believe it.

Yeah that’s right - one foolish part of me refuses to believe that’s she’d do such a thing. I think that’s the same part which is still in awe of her so you can bet I ignore that part the majority of the time.

She is just another one. Not the one. Having been hurt before doesn’t mean she won’t hurt me or anyone else she’s gonna be with. Hurt people hurt people.

And damn has she hurt me, probably without knowing a damn thing. How selfish can you be, Y/N? How selfish can you really get? And how much am I going to allow you to hurt me?

                                                             *  *  *

“Thank you so much, Andrew. I would’ve died on the spot of anxiety if I was on my own.“ I say to my best friend who is currently sitting next to me on a park bench, in a tux, eating a cheeseburger. I too am still in my gown and am also gorging on a cheeseburger of my own.

“Don’t mention it. Us anxious people need to stick together.“ He bumps his shoulder against mine, stealing a small genuine smile from me, “Plus I couldn’t not come with you. You know how much I like a good rumor.“

I scoff, “Of course you do, but then again there was no need to add to what the media has already made a whole-ass ship out of.” I roll my eyes and take another bite. My appetite hasn’t been in its best condition so I’m only eating this under Andrew’s orders. I have no idea how people can ship us romantically, he’s the definition of an older - and very bossy - brother to me. I wish I could tell each and every single one of those girls who hate me because I’ve ‘stolen their man’ that I’d most likely be their sister in law rather than man snatcher, seeing as how my relationship with Andrew is so sibling-like.

That’s because we’re too alike, no one gets that. People play the ‘opposites attract’ car more often than I consider rational. But  then again when they see a couple like Andrew and I - who are basically the same person in different bodies - they suddenly think we’re super compatible. Trust me, we’re not. And everyone who’s been on set with us will tell you the same.

“What can I say...“ he shrugs, smirking at me, “I like the fun. I bet Becca doesn’t though.“

I can’t help but huff. Andrew is the only one I’ve ever openly expressed my frustrations with Rebecca to. He was super helpful on the subject, seeing as how he can relate - many partners of his have tried to use him, some of which even succeeded. He’s more than qualified to school me on the topic but it turned more into sharing bad experiences. One of which was that instance back at Corpse’s apartment.

“And neither does Corpse I suppose.“ As though he’s read my mind, he pokes the hurt spot, pouring salt in the wound causing me to visibly cringe as though the pain was physical - because it was, I felt it in my chest and in my gut, a sharp stab of guilt and regret. 

Why did I let it come to that? Why did I let us get so close? How did I not think of the consequences?

“I don’t care if he does or doesn’t.“ My hand automatically reaches for the pocket of the jeans I’m not even wearing in search of a cigarette. Not that I’d be able to light one even if I had them on me - Andrew would smack it out of my hand before I could even take a single puff.

He has the audacity to laugh, “You’re such a bad liar, Y/N.”

That’s all he needs to say really - that’s enough to make me feel seen and understood. Though that’s not always a good thing. I often times wish he couldn’t read me so well. Better said: I wish I didn’t let myself be so readable, you know. I’m just glad he’s the one who sees me because if it were anyone else they’d use this vulnerability of mine against me. I’m well aware that it’s a weakness, a really inconvenient one, but damn it I can’t get rid of it. I feel like I’ll be less human if I lose it. Everyone’s allowed to be vulnerable, some just are lucky enough to choose who they’ll be vulnerable around. I’m lucky enough to to have a choice, not so lucky in the people I choose to trust. Guess that’s not a luck thing, it’s just my inability to decipher whether a person is worth all the pain and torture of coming clean to them or not. So far many people have burnt me but two stick out in particular - Becca and Corpse. Corpse especially, which is the odd thing considering he hasn’t even wronged me in any way. At least not yet.

“Your phone’s vibrating.“ Andrew says, pulling me out of my overflowing head when he hands me my phone which I handed to him because of my dress’ lack of pockets.

“Thanks.“ I mutter through a sigh as I take it from him, checking the notification I’ve gotten.

My stomach drops: it’s a message from Corpse.

“Hey I saw you are in LA but we have a stream tomorrow, will you still be participating?“

Before I can reply, he sends me another message.

“I know you’re probably very busy but we get the most viewership on the streams when you’re in them so....“

I’ve probably been staring at my phone screen for longer than I thought since Andrew felt the need to make sure I was still breathing: “Hey, you ok? You look terribly pale.” I can barely hear him let alone reply. I can’t hear my own thoughts to know what to reply to him. “Y/N, you’re scaring me.”

I’m scaring myself too, Andrew. I’m scared too. I’m scared of how broken my picker has become. I almost kissed this guy! I almost entrusted all my thoughts, hopes, wishes and goals to him! What the fuck was I thinking?! Well, at least I know what he was thinking about - viewership. Likes, subs, views, publicity. The more eyes on the stream the better for him and everyone else. I genuinely want to applaud him, no one has been so direct about using me before. I was in a relationship with Becca for almost a year before I accidentally found out what she had been doing the whole time. No one’s ever smacked me in the face with this much honesty. It’s bittersweet really.

I want to laugh, I want to cry, slap myself across the face, slap him...I want to do so much, but all I can do now is sit in silence and think of how I could be so stupid.

He’s just another one, how did I not see that? How do I never see it until it’s too late? Why is one part of me still screaming: ‘He didn’t mean it like that!’

AND WHY THE FUCK DO I WANT TO BELIEVE IT?

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[straight-into-the-animus]

(Not) Getting Married Today (French Fryes)

This was a fic request for my amazing pal @etzee-ohs that was a long time coming, but finals kept getting in the way. Sorry about the wait and I really hope you enjoy it!!

Read on Ao3

Jacob could hear Evie’s heels clacking on the tile as she came into the bathroom, and quickly slid the lock shut on the stall door.

“This is the men’s room!” He tried to protest, but it came off as more a whine.

“Why’d you run off?”

“I had to piss.” Jacob scooted back on the toilet, almost willing his body to become more compact to avoid being seen.

“Are you a racehorse? You did it twice before we left the house as well.” Evie must have found where he was, since he could see through the gap in the bottom that her short heels and bottom of her pantsuit stopped in front of his stall door.

“Maybe I had a lot of water.”

“Are you even dressed? The ceremony is in an hour.”

Yes, Jacob was somewhat dressed. And no, Jacob didn’t need to be reminded of the time crunch. Arno’s family had gone full out with renting a hall for the ceremony and reception, a lovely villa in the countryside that was way too clean for the rustic look it was going for.

They said they want to take care of it all, Arno had smiled, obviously happy his family had such a blessing and wanted to help, and Jacob tried to get away with a joke that he still wanted a say in the catering and cake -- which he did get the choice of, and thoroughly enjoyed so much that he had hard times with every cake. It wasn’t going to be a big wedding, just the people closest to them. For the past thirty minutes even Jacob where he was had been able to hear the sound of tires crunching on gravel as expectant guests rolled up, and all made excited and general conversation. Jacob was a simple man and would’ve been happy to have a courthouse ceremony in their pajamas, so to get married in a hall was more than he ever dreamed of getting. But in the year and a half it took, neither of them backed out. Jacob didn’t say anything, never questioned Arno and why he wanted this, and he was regretting it.

It wasn’t to say he didn’t want to spend forever attached to Arno, because he did. He knew that even if they ended up splitting, which killed Jacob to think of, he’d never marry again because Arno would’ve been it. But he didn’t want Arno to spend forever attached to him.

“It’s not too late to run, right? I mean. We’re not gonna get the deposit back. I can send something to compensate Arno’s stepdad. You think they’ll accept American money?”

“I’ll drag you back if you think of leaving.”

“Can you just stop, Evie? You’re not helping.” Jacob got off the toilet and opened the door, taking in the concern of his sister’s face. “Why the fuck would Arno wanna marry me?”

“Because he obviously loves you. Can’t you see that? He asked you, right?”

“He asked ‘cause he doesn’t know anything.”

“You’re calling him stupid now?”

“No! Or- yes. Stupidly romantic. It sounds like a good idea but it’s just gonna be a pain in the ass for him eventually.”

Evie fixed him with a look that just seemed to scream that he was an idiot, and he hated it with all his heart because he knew he wasn’t. She spoke, slow and measured, and even if Jacob didn’t want to listen he did.

“You’re not a pain in the ass.” At Jacob’s snort, she rolled her eyes. “Not most of the time. Right now you’re pushing it a bit. But I think Arno really did know what he was doing when he proposed. Have you ever known Arno to back down on anything?”

And Jacob hadn’t -- it was why he was the best at pulling Arno away from fights or at the very least supervising to make sure it didn’t go too far. And why their rare arguments lasted for days sometimes. But he refused to answer and went to wash his hands all the same to avoid her.

“Okay, just- Just don’t cancel anything. Please. We can figure things out.” Evie put a hand on his shoulder and led him out the restroom to go to his actual room, getting no fight in the action. He felt like a livewire and she had to sense it by the way he was silent for once. “I need to step out for a minute to talk to someone and you’re going to relax. Okay?”

Jacob glared but did as asked, looking all the picture of a petulant and scared child as he sat down on the cream sofa.

--------------

Evie stepped out of the room, closing the door, before walking to the end of the hallway and dialing the first number in her contacts. Élise picked up within a few seconds.

“How is he?”

“I finally got him to settle down. He’s curled up on one of the couches. How about your brother?”

“This close to hyperventilating into a paper bag.” Élise sighed, and Evie heard her moving quickly to likely go somewhere more private. “He’s deadset on thinking Jacob doesn’t want this.”

“Obviously we can tell they’re made for each other if they’re going to be like this,” Evie mumbled, pacing a step back and forth at a time before something hit her. “I might have an idea.”

“I do love those.”

Evie grinned.

---------------

Evie waited a few minutes, unwilling to go back to verbal abuse, and came back into where Jacob was likely wanting to drown his sorrows, glancing up at her. At least he had moved on from the whining and shivering aspect and now just seemed to sulk in his seat.

“It’s fucking raining now.” Jacob bemoaned loudly, looking out at the dark sky that had just recently been light and sunny.

“I’m sure they’re moving anything they need to inside. And they say it’s good luck, you know.”

“They made that shit up to comfort the piss poor bride who lost her expensive summer wedding.” Jacob sniffed, and Evie tried not to notice the red puff under his eyes from rubbing them until it became too much.

“Do you want me to put some makeup on that? Get you all dapper?”

“There’s no point,” Jacob said, “there’s not going to be a wedding.”

“I promise you there will be. Everyone’s showed up, besides.”

Jacob sat back, obviously displeased with what she said. But at this point, she couldn’t mince words. It was all or nothing. Both of them were silent for a while before Evie’s phone buzzed, and she checked the notification.

“Here. A video to cheer you up, maybe.”

“Is it a virtual cat poster thing?”

Evie rolled her eyes and pulled up the video Élise had sent her, handing the phone over to Jacob. Jacob pressed the small triangle for play almost absently. The video had some motion in it of the phone being set up, and lean subtly against something small while two people were right in the middle of a conversation. He recognized the visible figure standing in front of one of the small mirrors, undoing and redoing his hair in an anxious manner.

Despite what Jacob thought, his heart did that standard skip it always did upon seeing him. He hadn’t gotten to see him since they arrived and separated, but Arno was half-dressed in his blue shirt and crisp dress pants, bowtie undone haphazardly.

“-don’t get why do you think Jacob is going to regret this? He said yes, didn’t he?”

Faintly he realized it was Élise speaking to Arno, and Arno sounded… panicked.

“He said yes because he didn’t know what he was getting into! I didn’t want that.”

Jacob’s heart sunk, but Arno continued, giving up on his hair with a frustrated groan.

“I’m grateful we did- Were going to do it here. And it’s beautiful. But… I’m not exactly marriage material, Élise. Don’t give me that look, it’s true. I’m an idiot most of the time. What happens when the honeymoon phase is over? And he realizes after a year or two that he doesn’t want to deal with me? It’s his right, but… I’d be heartbroken. And if I hurt him? I love him too much to put him through this.” Arno mumbled something else, sitting in one of the chairs with a dramatic huff and burying his face in his hands. There was one final line Jacob caught. “I’m nothing without him and he’s everything without me.”

Jacob was vaguely aware of Evie shouting about how he could’ve broken her phone, but he didn’t even realize he had dropped it as he hurried off. There could have been more but he didn’t need or care to hear it. He ran off through the hallway, almost knocking over poor waiters and workers alike as he looked for his fucking perfect fiance, who was somewhere thinking that Jacob couldn’t want him more than anything in any sense of the word.

Élise was waiting outside a door, and she barely looked up as Jacob stormed into the room she was near. Arno saw him in the mirror, jumped, and spun around, a tremulous smile playing on his face before it fell.

“What’s wrong, Ja-”

“I love you too, Arno. I said yes because I love you. Yeah, even with your fucking wardrobe and ego and attitude and smarts and good fucking heart.” He blurted out, not letting Arno get in a word edgewise before continuing. “Don’t you ever think you’re anything less than it for me, please.”

“Jacob, darling, mon amour , just breathe.” He held Jacob loosely but tried to get the man to look him straight in the eyes as he spoke. “Where- where is this coming from?”

“I saw the video. Evie had it. Where you said that shit all about you.”

“I- Élise filmed that?” He sent a half-hearted glare as if his sister could see him through the wall, but Jacob held his face and turned him back to look at him.

“I get it if you don’t wanna get married to me. But don’t be a dick to yourself in the process.”

“Of course I want to get married to you. I proposed. And I meant it.” Arno said, serious before turning shy. “I suppose… I just got worried. That I was being selfish by asking somehow.”

Jacob looked down, shyly grabbing Arno’s hand and playing with it. It was a distraction so he didn’t have to watch Arno’s no-doubt judgy gaze. “I was worried. I thought you were making a mistake with all this. With me.”

“I could never. If anything I was worried you’d be making a mistake with me. Compared to you, I’m-”

“You’re not nothing.” Jacob’s head snapped up. “Don’t say that again. ‘Sides,” Jacob ended up giving a half-smile, “I need someone around to keep me in line. That’s worth something, isn’t it?”

Arno smiled and ended up giving a somewhat surprised huff of laughter. He glanced down again. “Looks like we’re both a few idiots.”

“It’s us. I wasn’t expecting things to go perfectly.” Jacob’s smile grew at Arno’s second bit of laughter and it turned a bit sheepish. “So… After all that… Do we want to get married still?”

“If it means I get to have you for good, then of course. If you’re sure you want it as much as I do.” Arno looked up and gave a small smile, but it was brilliant and blinding. “But you’ll need to leave so I can finish getting ready.”

“I dunno. I quite like the idea of undoing your work so far.”

Arno chuckled and gently stopped Jacob’s hands from teasingly going too far up his chest.

“We’ll have the honeymoon for that. I promise.”

“Making me wait so long. Glad I know it’s gonna be worth it.” Jacob grumbled good-naturedly, and leaned in for a tender, chaste kiss. He was only barely pulled away when he spoke again, unable to help it. “I love you.”

“And I love you too.” Arno smiled. “Now. If we want to ‘do the damn thing’, as everyone says, we both have to finish getting ready.”

“Already nagging and we haven’t even exchanged rings.” Jacob grinned and gave him one final kiss before walking out of the room. Élise looked up as he left, and she grinned.

“Glad to see you’re finally acting like adults.”

“I’m definitely doing something at you and my sister’s wedding in return.” Jacob sent her a look, but he was smiling all the same before he hurried back to his room.

The wedding ended up starting just ten minutes behind schedule in one of the halls, hastily set up to work against the rain. But neither of them wanted to rush it.

---------------

Evie wanted to hit them for how much they ended up making everyone cry. There wasn’t a dry eye at the vows, or the kiss, or the reception, and Jacob and Arno held onto each other in a first dance that didn’t consist of anything more than just swaying in place. Evie and Élise sat back at the head table, red hair brushing Evie’s shoulders as Élise leaned on her.

“You think our wedding will be as hectic as theirs?” Evie asked, and Élise rested her chin on Evie’s shoulder as she looked up at her.

“Knowing us? Absolutely.”

Title and work inspired by Getting Married Today from the musical Company!

I hope you enjoy! If you do I have a Masterpost here and more ideas for writings and prompts here, so feel free to request! Thank you so much for reading and have a wonderful day!

[dreamescapeswriting]

BTS Reaction || Revealing Your Relationship [Request]

A/N: From now on my reaction posts will be under keep reading signs as many people asked nicely (some not so nicely) for me to do so, sorry to everyone I annoyed.

Seokjin :

After years of being together it was finally going to happen today, you were going to reveal your relationship with Jin to his fans and the rest of the world. The rest of the world you weren't so bothered about, you were more worried about what Army were going to say, you knew how much Jin cared for them and after the years of being together, you'd grown to care for them too, even though they had no idea who you were.

"Everything okay?" You looked up at Jin who had just walked into the room with food and coffee for you both and you nodded taking the cup of coffee from his hand and sipping on it,

"Yeah,"

"Nervous?" He questioned looking at the expression on your face, after three years he could read you like a book.

"Yeah," You admitted leaning your head on his shoulder. You were sitting in a conference room in the BigHit building waiting for the signal that all the newspapers, magazines and online creators had dropped their information to everyone and it was nervewracking.

"I don't know how you deal with award shows Jin, I'm getting the shakes just by thinking about this." You laughed looking at him and then over at your phone which vibrated, but it was nothing but a text from one of the other boys telling you everything was going to be okay.

"They'll love you, you saw how the interviewer was with us." You nodded in agreement, you'd done one interview with one person who then sent out the questions and answers to other people who worked within the industry, no names were revealed until that morning and now you were just waiting. It was a game of patient, a game you weren't good at but were trying to be.

"They're out." He whispered looking up from his phone and over to yours which was now lighting up like a Christmas tree, you both stared at it not knowing what to do with anything until Jin's phone started ringing

"It's Namjoon," You slid it over to Jin to answer and they began having a discussion about everything that was happening online,

"So?" You questioned not wanting to look at your own phone in case it was all negative but Jin pulled your phone over to you and made you scroll through the notifications yourself, Fans were already starting to find you in old videos, or photos and determining when you finally started dating.

"They love you." He chuckled looking at the expression on your face which was a mixture of confusion and love for them, you were so happy that they loved you so much without even knowing you.

"No wonder Jin was always so happy with someone like Y/n by his side." He read out some of the comments under articles and you both started laughing together at the small theories they were coming up with. Wondering if you were connected to songs or if Jin had ever brought you along on tour with them, it was interesting to see how their brains all worked but most of all you were just happy that they liked you and that they were okay with you dating Jin. You never wanted to do anything that would upset anybody.

Yoongi:

Yoongi and you had decided you wanted to reveal your relationship in a cute and unique way so you were working on producing a song together to perform on stage and announce your relationship. It had been a long time coming since you had been together for four years on the date that the reveal was scheduled for.  Everything was set in place by BigHit and although they had been previously against announcing the relationship yet they were now okay with it,

"You sure this is a good idea?" You asked backstage as you stood with Yoongi, your hands were linked together as you listened to the screaming crowd for MCCountdown.

"I'm positive," He answered looking at you with a smile on his face, he'd never been so sure about anything since the day he asked you out on a date.

"Are you?" He questioned looking at the nervous look on your face, you knew how protective Army could get with the boys you'd seen how it was with people they'd hung around with before and you didn't know if you were ready for that yet. That kind of hate, or the kind of things that could be thrown your way if they didn't like it but Yoongi was assuring you that they would love you and him together.

"Even if they don't, once they see how happy we are they won't be able to deny it anymore." You nodded at him and he rubbed his thumb along your knuckles bringing your hand up to his mouth so he could place a small kiss on it.

"Next up we have Min Yoongi and Y/n Y/l/n singing their new song!" The MC yelled into the microphone and the room fell silent, you'd made songs before together but they were always fast upbeat rap songs, unlike this one which was a more slow-paced ballad rap ending with a fast rap for Yoongi where he would grab you and kiss you at the end.

"It's now or never." He chuckled kissing your temple and running around the back of the stage to get to his spot on the opposite side. The music started and you both walked out slowly, singing and rapping to your parts of the song until you met in the middle of the stage.

The song was ending and Yoongi smirked at you walking over and wrapping his arm around your waist, the crowd was screaming about it and cameras were flashing in every direction excited about seeing Yoongi so intermate with someone on the stage, the music came to a stop and he kissed you on the lips softly neither of you pulling away until you heard the MC clapping and cheering. You pulled away and smiled at him once you heard the rest of the world catching up to you, neither of you had noticed because you were so lost with one another but the room had exploded into screams of cheers when you kissed and people were crying out about how they knew it was real.

"There we have it, Y/n and Yoongi everybody!" You both bowed hand in hand before running off the stage and laughing as you stood backstage together, both high from the performance adrenaline as you bounced up and down together as happy as can be. Jungkook came racing over with a phone and showed you all of the positive reactions to your performance as well as photos of the kiss you had shared on stage. Then it linked to a video of Jackson Wang sitting by the side of the stage just as shocked as he was during the JYP and Hwasa performance making you and Yoongi chuckle to one another.

Hoseok:

You were walking along the beach together hand in hand in peace when Hoseok decided to attack you, it was a sneaky attack he slowed down letting go of your hand and taking photos of the sun above the sea, then a couple of you while you weren't looking then he ran up behind you,

"Hobi put me down!" You screamed as he threw you over his shoulder and ran up and down the beachfront with you screaming and crying out in laughter as he continued to jump up and down and run around in circles with you clinging to him for dear life. He'd brought you out to the beach for the weekend and now you were walking along the sand together. It was supposed to be a romantic getaway together to move away from all the stress of what was happening in Seoul, magazines were leaking your information about your relationship that they'd managed to get a hold of and he decided that instead of denying it any longer he would stop trying to hide you by taking you out to the beach for a date and then going back to the small hotel he'd gotten for the weekend, he wasn't going to hide his love for you anymore.

"Is that them?" You heard someone yell, you looked up from the back of Hobi's back and saw two girls staring at you from the pier with their phones out and pointing in your direction,

"Hobi, we've been spotted." You told him patting him on the back and hoping that someone seeing you would make him drop you on the floor ready to run and he did, but he wasn't letting you run anywhere, he was through with running away. He looked down at you and cupped your face in his hands, rubbing his thumb along your cheek as he smirked at you,

"What are you doing?" He bent down and kissed you softly not caring that people around were watching you both, the stress of people watching you was melted away as soon as his lips touched yours, your arms wrapped around his neck as you brought yourself closer to him ignoring people who were clapping around you at the sudden public skinship that was happening.

Hoseok pulled away and smiled at you tucking hair behind your ear and taking in a deep breath,

"PR might have my head for that but...You're worth it, at least now we don't have to hide." He whispered kissing you softly on the lips once more and then taking your hand in his and walking down the beach. Smiling and waving at the girls who had spotted you first, they came running over and asked for photos.

"Here, I'll take them." You offered but they shook their head insisting that you be in the photos with them, claiming they wanted to have the one person who could make Hoseok the happiest man in the world in their photo with them. The rest of Army took a while to come around, they wanted to make sure that you could really make Hoseok happy before they decided on if they liked you or not but once they saw how much happier Hobi was now the relationship was out in the open they began to like you more and more.

Namjoon:

One week in Paris was all it took for your relationship to unfold to everyone in Army, Namjoon had taken you to Paris as a getaway since he was on break and no one was supposed to know where he was going or where he was when he finally arrived but it turned out people had spotted him one morning when he went for a walk around the streets of Paris without you.

"Joon, what about this one?" You asked grabbing his attention, he walked over to you in the market and looked at the book you were holding up for him. You'd decided to go for a walk around Paris together, looking at old shops and book hunting for something new.

"I like it," He laughed taking the book from your hands and reading through the first couple of pages to decide if he was going to buy it, you walked over to a different stall to see what they were selling when a girl walked up to you, she was wearing a BTS shirt and cap and was smiling at you,

"Erm Hi...I was just wondering if you knew Namjoon?" You looked over to where she was pointing and Namjoon was still standing there reading, you didn't know what to say to her. You'd never been put in this position before because you and Namjoon had always been so careful with hiding your relationship from everyone.

"Joonie." You called grabbing his attention once again, he looked up to see you and then saw who you standing next to and he slowly made his way over to you leaving the book on the stall.

"Hi," He began talking to her while you looked around to see if anyone else had noticed you and it was becoming uncomfortably clear that they had. The harder you looked the more people you found with phones out all pointing in your direction,

"Joonie people know." You whispered as you stared at your phone, it was the first time in two days that you had decided to check it you never felt the need to when you were with Namjoon but this time you had to. You were all over twitter and news articles in Korea, people wondering who you were and how long you and Namjoon had been together and why he was hiding it.

"We have to go," He mumbled saying a quick goodbye to the girl and taking you back to the hotel.

He'd been pacing back and forth and shouting in Korean for the last hour on the phone and you had no idea what he was saying, you understood Korean but not so much to the extent that when he was practically rapping you didn't know what he was saying.

"The hotel leaked that we were here." He said as he came and sat down beside you on the bed, he leant his head on your shoulder and sighed.

"I'm sorry, I thought maybe for one week we could be a normal couple." He sighed kissing your cheek but you grabbed his face and held it so he was facing you,

"Kim Namjoon, I don't care if people know about us. All I care about is that I get to spend time with you." You reassured him and then your phone went off, people were starting to find your social media accounts which were all on private and no one could get into.

"They've found me." You laughed showing him the phone, you both went through twitter together to see what people were saying and so far it was all positive reactions but one caught your eye, it was the little girl from the market explaining on camera how cute she thought you both were and how she'd seen you around the market together before and thought that everyone should leave you alone. At least you had one player on your team but many Army were agreeing with her, deciding that if Namjoon was happy enough they should give you your peace.

Jimin:

Jimin was sitting with Taehyung in one of the studios when it happened it was just an accident because he hadn't even realised what was happening until it was too late, Jimin hadn't even realised that Taehyung was doing a live FM broadcast without his camera when Jimin walked in talking about you and Taehyung couldn't warn him without letting Army know that something was going on so Tae wrote down on a piece of paper that he was talking about your relationship live on Vlive. The broadcast was ended quickly and they both rushed off to their manager to figure out what to do next who in turn decided that relationship between you and Jimin had been hidden for too long anyway. Five years was a long time to hide something from fans and he figured if you were steady enough for the last five years it shouldn't matter that it was now leaked out.

"Namjoon-Ah!" You screamed as he continued to tickle your sides, you were at the dorms with him and Jin since the rest of them were all at the studio working on something when he kept tickling you. You'd been close to all of the boys, it was bound to happen after being together with Jimin for five years,

"Y/n, your phone won't stop going off," Jin said looking at the phone on the table, you noticed it was twitter.

"Did you guys drop anything today, that's the only reason I ever get notifications-" You stopped yourself once you saw photos of you and Jimin being spread everywhere but it was impossible for people to have gotten them unless they knew all your secret and private accounts that Jimin had. The door burst open and Jimin walked in,

"Jimin I didn't do it, I don't know what or how but I didn't-" He cut you off by kissing you passionately and you stayed there shocked with your phone in your hand, he pulled away and smiled.

"I did it, I accidentally announced it on Tae's VLive this morning and now it's everywhere." You stared at him, Namjoon and Jin both stared at him with their mouths hanging open,

"Everywhere?" You asked looking through twitter and seeing your name and Jimin's name was trending, you didn't dare click on anything in case it was bad but Jin took this chance to look. Reading through the comments and only reading out good ones,

"You have to read some of the bad ones." You scoffed taking the phone away from him but that was it, there were no bad ones. People were all being positive about the relationship, claiming that yeah they were hurt but it was worth it to see Jimin so happy. The photos Jimin had leaked out after his manager told him to were everywhere and were being edited into cute profile pictures for everyone,

"We have to give interviews at some point when we're ready but...It's out, we don't have to hide anymore." He whispered to you, he knew how hard it was for you to keep sneaking out at ungodly hours to try and see him when you couldn't be spotted going into the dorms. But now you could just walk in and out as if you owned the place. You both went back to looking through comments and smiled as you saw more and more positive ones flying through.

Taehyung:

You were sitting across from the man that was going to be interviewing you and Taehyung and you couldn't help but feel even more nervous.

"We're going on the air in two minutes!" Someone yelled making you flinch, your hand was resting on the table in front of you and Taehyung took it in his, smiling at you and running his hand over yours to try and calm you down. He knew how nervous you had been about this interview all week and it was finally happening, you were finally about to reveal a relationship you had been hiding for the last six years. It felt like it had been forever since you first started dating and you didn't know if people were going to be mad at you both for hiding it or happy that you'd kept it away for so long to see if it was stable enough to withstand rumours or backlash.

"It's going to be fine." He promised you looking at you and making you look back at him,

"I know, but what if-"

"No, we're not going to start with the what-ifs." You nodded in agreement and he kissed you on the lips pulling away and looking at the man who had been watching the display,

"You're cute, they'll love you. Just be yourself." A counter started and you knew it was almost time to start the interview. Your hands stayed locked on the table, management and PR claimed it would look better if you were acting like a couple from the get-go, everyone was already going to know what the interview was about since it would be in the title of every magazine, youtube video or video-sharing app there was.

"Hello, I'm joined here today by todays hottest couple Kim Taehyung and Y/l/n, we're going to be asking them some questions that you're sending in!" You smiled at the camera and Taehyung have your hand a squeeze as he could feel how tense you were,

"Breathe." He whispered to you and you instantly felt relaxed, realising that nothing bad could happen as long as he was by your side.

"We'll start with something easy while we wait for replies, how did you meet?" Taehyung looked at you and nodded for you to talk and you smiled at him,

"We met because of my brother, he's a member from another band but we met at a show, I was nervous backstage looking for my brother when I walked into Tae's chest knocking him over and then falling backwards myself, I'd never been so embarrassed before."

The interview was a success and now you were sitting backstage with Taehyung reading through what people were saying, trying to see if people were happy or mad about it and it looked like almost everyone was happy about it, a few people were sad that you were no longer going to be shipped with your brother's band mates but they were happy that Taehyung was so happy. There were already edits being made about the way he looked at you,

"I look at pizza the same way Tae looks at Y/n." You snorted as you read through the comments looking at Taehyung who was laughing along with you, finding more and more funny tweets and sending them to the group chat that they all had.

(ajklfgaifgalhkfpahb)

Jungkook:

"There is nothing more we can do about it." You stared at Jungkook's manager in front of you, you were sitting across from him and Jungkook was sitting beside you holding your hand. Someone had been blackmailing you for the last four months about revealing your relationship to everyone if you didn't give them what they wanted and you'd been obeying but now BigHit were starting to give in with letting them leak information. Your name had already been leaked as a 'close friend' to BTS and now people were starting to put two and two together that your friendship with Jungkook was more than just a friendship and that you were dating and had been for some time now.

"We can't do anything?" Jungkook asked looking at the information that the person was trying to leak, multiple photos of you and Jungook acting like a couple at what was supposed to be a private beach set up by BigHit themselves.

"I'm sorry Jungkook, we can get ahead of it and release the information ourselves if it helps?" They went into planning on how everything was going to happen and how everything was going to happen and when while you sat there trusting Jungkook with everything that was going to happen.

The news had been out for a week and you hadn't gone anywhere near the internet since, deciding it was easier to keep your expectations low. You didn't know what was going to happen or how people were going to react and you didn't want to expect anything,

"Are you going to look?" Jungkook asked once he saw you staring at your phone which was lightening up, it was the first time you'd turned it on in a week and you nodded unlocking it and scrolling through the comments, everything so far seemed fine until you got to a section that was labelled,

'Why we hate Y/n.' Out of morbid curiosity, you clicked on it only to see one tweet inside,

'We only hate them because they hid it for so long.' Below that one tweet was everyone in agreement with it, tweeting about how much they loved you other than that. Jungkook knew all this already though, he knew that they loved you since he'd done nothing but check his phone since the news dropped wanting to make sure that everything was going to be okay, he didn't want to tell you to check if it if he knew it wasn't going to be pretty but from what he could tell Army loved you already and were supporting you 100% of the way.

tagline: 

@yoongisdumplingcheeks @snowy-meowl @lynnthevirgo @jooniesdarlingdimples @kpopfanfictionhoes @lyoongx @mitzwinchester @btsiguess-kpop @callingmyangel @rjsmochii @fan-ati--c 

[thr-333]

Mismatch- Part 22

Bio Dad Bruce Wayne Month

Hating LIla is apparently a family trait

First< Previous > Next

---------------------------

“Uh I hate this,” Chloe picks at her uniform like it's a disgusting growth.

“I think you look as nice as you always do,” Marion says cheerfully, turning around on his seat to look back at her and Kagami.

“Marion that is by far the worst you have ever insulted me,”

“It was a complement-” Marion doges her whack.

“Marinette! Hit your brother for me,” Chloe demands, standing up to try and reach him.

“It’s more gratifying if you do it yourself, trust me,” Marinette flicks through her phone, not bothering to look up, “I can pin your uniform to look more flattering if you like,”

“Nette you are the best!” Chloe hugs her from behind, awkward to be sure with the seat and all, yep that's the only reason, not Kagami's death glare that can be felt through the seat.

“Oh Marinette you can also pin mine,” Lila asks, as sweetly as acid, “Or weren't you going to offer the rest of the class?”

“No actually Lila she wasn't,” Marion sneers, ignoring Marinette trying to pull him back into the seat, “As I’ve made it quite clear none of you are our friends, so she isn’t obligated to do anything for you,”

“That’s so mean,” Lila sniffles, everyone is too busy feeling guilty to comfort her.

“Weren't you friends with MDC Lila?” Marion asks as sweetly as acid, “Why not try asking them?"

With that Marion turns back to his seat and starts scrolling through his phone, ignoring Lila's attempts at guilting. He gets a notification from Marinette.

I can speak for myself  

U can nicely tell them no- I  can tell them to fck off

That wasn't very nice

Im done with nice

Whats wrong?

Marion looks up seeing Marinette looking over him concerned, he sighs and texts back.

Nervous

Dont worry Bruce hasn't told them yet

Its going to be awkward

We’ll get through it- Pound it?

Marion looks back up, Marinette is smiling at him holding out her hand.

“Pound it,”

They pull up to the school, the grandiose of Wayne academy is nothing to sneeze at. Brick buildings, iron work, Marion has to force Marinette to put her sketchbook away. They are escorted around the campus by a student. They’ll be split up and put into a range of different classes to make the best out of their week there.

“3 o’clock,” Marinette bumps into him, Marion lets his gaze slide over, spotting Damian.

“Wasn't Lila saying on the way over here that she was great friends with him?”

“Mari don't,” Marinette hisses, tugging at his sleeve, “It’s weird enough without pulling him in to our grudge match,”

“Nothing bonds siblings more than a mutual hatred of Lila, exhibit A,” He points back and forth between them, “I’m going to do it,”

“Don't you dare-”

“Hey Damian!” Marion shouts, waving his hand for the entire hallway to turn and stare.

Damian turns around with a scowl, hardly lessening when he spots them.

“Marion, just what do you think you’re doing,” Kagami scolds, as Damian stalks over.

“Lila,” Marion smirks back, looking over to the girl who pales at an actual Wayne walking over, apparently she had actually decided to look up what they look like.

“Oh this is going to be good,” Chloe steps back, content to watch the show.

“Hey Dami,” Marion goes to sling an arm around his shoulder.

“Don’t call me Dami,” Damian sidesteps his attempt, preferring to stand closer to Marinette.

“How’s Cat-fred?” Marion smiles, getting Damian’s scowl to lessen slightly, so he smiles brighter.

“He’s doing well,”

“Good good…” Marion shuffles, no longer able to look directly at him, “How’s the family?”

Marinette gives him a sideways look that clearly says ‘you did this to yourself’.

“Why are you asking?” Damian narrows his eyes, and Marion knows he fucked up.

Nette help please!

“I wanted to know when I can come over next for a rematch,” Marinette gracefully lets him off the hook.

“Evidently sparring at the manor is at risk of interruption,” Damian notes, deep in thought, “We should plan an alternative meeting space,”

“That sounds great,” Marinette smiles, catching Damian in between their grins.

Damian just nods and walks away, Marion smiles and waves.

“You’re an idiot,” Marinette punches him in the shoulder, getting him to lower his arm.

“We’ve established that, thanks,” Marion rubs his shoulder with a pout, “However look over there,”

Lila having an aneurysm, surrounded by the class berating her with questions.

“Worth it,” Marion grins, going for a subtle fist bump.

“Agreed,” Marinette returns the gesture.

“Lila why didn’t you say hi?”

“Why didn’t he say hi?”

“He must not have seen me,” Lila’s lip quivers in a practiced motion, “Marinette was standing in front of me,”

“Or were you hiding behind Marinette?” Marion calls over, actually voluntarily walking towards the beast.

“What?! Of course I wasn't!” Lila shouts, her glare sending him a clear warning, one he was fully prepared to ignore.

“Then why didn’t you just move?” Marion asks oh so innocently.

“I didn’t want to be rude,” Lila sounds shy but her face screams murder, as people hang around to eavesdrop on their conversation.

“Then you were doing it to be polite and complaining about Marinette is quite rude,” Marion has to hold back a smirk as he hears an ‘oh snap’ from his audience.

“I- you!-”

“That’s nice Lila,” Marinette interrupts, walking away like the badass she is, “How about we get to class,”

Marion goes to class, having the fortune to be lumped in with Lila. And yes he does mean fortune because while Lila is trying to brag and get the students under her thumb they are happily ignoring her, focusing instead on Marion’s tips for learning French. When Lila switches tactics saying she can speak Italian Marion switches over to fluent Italian, something he had learned from his Nona. He then breaks out his Mandarin, daring Lila to try and fake knowing a language.

Lila goes quite, just kidding you know that's not true. She starts to pull students aside whispering to them. Marion isn't sure if she is intentionally loud enough that he can hear her or if it’s just his enhanced hearing.

“He’s a bully, I know he’s just trying to act nice to get something out of you,” Lila warns a student who looks disgruntled to have basically been pulled into the corner away from the group.

“He’s a Wayne?” Ah so he’s heard the not-so rumour, “What could I possibly have that he doesn't?”

“He’s not a Wayne!” Lila snaps, before regaining her composure, “I actually know the Waynes,”

“... because they’re in your class?”

“No!” She stops her foot, “They made up that rumour! I know because I’m personal friends with all the Waynes,”

“Alright show a picture,” The guy shrugs, stuffing his hands in his pockets, Marion reminds himself to give them the award of ‘you’re smarter than everyone in my class, it's not much but it’s something!’.

“ What? ” Lila seethes, looking ready to tear his eyeballs out to have an excuse not to show him.

“All I’m saying is I’ve seen multiple pictures of them with the Waynes plus, I heard that they actually talked to Damian Wayne this morning!” He actually looks in awe at this fact.

“I would hardly call that a conversation,” Lila crosses her arms, looking to the side like a child.

“No you don't understand!” He employers making a wild hand gesture as if trying to show how amazing it is, “He’s the ice prince, if someone else calls his name or even tried to talk to him he would just ignore them, but he actually walked over and talked to them,”

“He saw me-”

“Look I don’t really care, this argument isn't worth having,” The guy puts up placating hands, the gesture having the exact opposite effect on Lila, “Marion seems cool, Wayne or not, so yeah,”

Marion tries not to smile as one by one Lila is shot down. Her anger rising so high Marion is sure she would have been akumatized three times over by now.

“Hey what's with Lila, she seems to have it out for you?” The first guy to talk to her whispers, turns out his name is James and was very confused when Marion gifted him a small paper trophy.

“Oh she does,” Marion shrugs, filling out the worksheet idly.

“Ok… why?” James presses, the small paper trophy sitting on his desk.

“Hmmm…” Marion leans back, tipping his seat, “It’s a paradox,”

“What is?”

“If I tell you the truth, you’ll probably think I’m lying and her accusations will seem more believable,” Marion reasons, looking up at the ceiling, “If I fake ignorance, you’ll probably just take her word for it, seems like a trap,”

“You’re taking this way too seriously,” James shakes his head, and Marion cracks a grin.

“Sorry, just happy to have some new friends,” His smile lessens, becoming melancholy, “It’s been awhile,”

“What? But you’re so,” James makes another one of his wild hand gestures,  “ Nice ,”

Marion just shrugs, but some people notice how he quickly glances over at Lila talking with someone else. Any further questions are cut off by the bell.

“Well, seems that's our cue to leave, now tell me are American school lunches really as bad as I’m led to believe?”

“You poor little french boy,” James shake his head,  “You have no idea the horrors you will face,”

“This is so much worse than I thought it would be,” Marion looks down at his tray in disgust, “This is a private school?”

“I told you so,” James shrugs, walking through the cafeteria to find a seat.

“Hold up a sec,” Marion says, spotting Damian, not talking but rather trying to ignore someone talking to him, “Dami!”

“Don’t call me Dami,” Damian pushes Marion off him this time, the person who was talking to him looks shocked that his arms aren’t broken.

He puts his tray on the table and grabs Damian's shoulders.

“I have an urgent problem,”

“Cheng-Dupain, from what I know of you that is a massive exaggeration,” Damian brushes him off again and Marion’s scared the other kid is having a heart attack, “Now stop bothering me, it can wait for later,”

“I didn’t take any pictures of Cat-fred!” Marion cries, flopping onto Damian, who doesn't bother pushing him off a third time.

“... Understandable,” Damian snatches Marion’s phone, letting Marion input the code over his shoulder, “This is an oversight on your part,”

“So you’ll send some to me?” Marion grins, using Damian’s head as an armrest as he watches him enter his number.

“Yes,” Damian passes Marion’s phone back and Marion grabs his food.

“Great, see you later!” Marion stands up, ruffling Damian's hair before leaving.

“What was that!?” He hears the other person shout as he walks away.

“What was that?!” James yells, and whoops the entire cafeteria is staring between him and Damian.

“Do you ever learn from your mistakes?” Marinette asks, materialising beside him.

“No?” Marion scoffs, putting his and on his hip, “Why would I?”

“Are you actually siblings?” James still looks in shock but at least he isn’t gaping and gasping for air anymore.

“Yes?” Of course they were siblings, they are twins? Is that not clear?

“God-fucken dammit Mari!” Marinette hisses, “That’s not what they meant!”

“Oh,” Marion says softly, totally not jumping as Damian materialises next to him.

“Cheng-Dupain, it was this absentminded nature that caused this rumour to get out of hand in the first place,”

“Yeah… you are going to have to be way more specific,” Marion looks around the whole cafeteria is still staring at them, trading whispers.

“No we are not related, that is a baseless rumour,” Damian glares at James, making him recoil.

“Right… baseless,” Marion mumbles, getting kicked in the shin by Marinette.

“Adopted then?” James foolishly asks.

“ No ,” and yep now James looks afraid for his life.

“Haha, you know you don’t have to seem so offended by that?” Marion slings his arm around Damian’s shoulder, silently rejoicing that he only gets a withered glare this time.

“Like I said,” Lila’s voice carries over the still quite cafeteria, “The Waynes were telling me how they hate that rumour, the meer idea they are connected to the twins is-”

“ Excuse me ,” Damian slams his hand down on the table, right next to Lila making her jump out of her skin,  “But who are you, and why do you think you know anything about my family and what we think,”

“I just-”

“You presume you’re of enough importance to understand my feelings towards the matter?” Damian stands tall and looks down his nose at her, “You aren’t,”

“Lila,” Alya whispers to her as Damian walks away, “I think you should just let them sort it out, it’s a family matter,”

“Who is that?” Damian demands when he gets back to them, “And how do I destroy her?”

“Don’t worry about it Damian, she's just doing it to get attention,” Marinette explains calmly.

“Lila Rossi,” Marion has other plans, “She’s a Liar, provide proof she doesn't know your family or anyone for that matter and she will be destroyed,”

Damian gives a curt nod and walks away, back to his friend who is still gaping like the rest of the room.

“ Mari ,” Marinette smacks him.

“I merely shared my wisdom,” Marion stroke his invisible beard, “What he chooses to do with it is up to him,”

“Ugh, that was a long day,” Plagg groans, curling up in the middle of his pillow.

“Plagg you slept in my bag the whole time,” Marion flops onto his bed, and it wasn't over they had to go on patrol soon.

“Which is far more disruptive than a bed,” Plagg complains, letting Marion curl up next to him, “Not comfortable at all,”

“Speaking of not being comfortable…” Marinette trails off, sitting on the edge of his bed.

“Our brother insisting we aren’t related?” Marion curls around to look over at her.

“Very strange feeling,” Marinette nods, absentmindedly pulling her feet onto the bed.

“He yelled at Lila,” Marion smiles up at the ceiling.

“Does that make him an honorary Dupain-slash-Cheng?” Marinette smiles over at him.

“Yeah…” Marion’s grin drops, “... Or Dupain/Cheng/Wayne,”

“... You want to tell them?” Marinette asks in her horrible tone that reminds him of being back in Paris and trying to stifle emotions.

“I mean, yeah,” He sits up, crossing his legs, “They’re family right? I want to know them, do you?”

“He seemed upset when they called us siblings,” Marinette turns to face him, the Kwamis watching their little meeting from the outside.

“He seemed more upset with Lila, said he was insulted by it,” Marion reasons, he feels like they’re back in Paris dressed as Ladybug and Chat Noir having three in the morning conversations on rooftops.

“It’s Lila, anything she says can piss someone off,” Marinette sighs, flopping back on the bed, destroying the illusion, “Tikki what do you think?”

“This is a decision you have to make on your own Marinette,” Tikki advises sagely.

“Tiiikkkiiiiii,” Marinette whines like a three year old

“Alright, I never had a family but I have the other Kwamis,” Tikki concedes, explaining to the twins giving her all their attention, “I am separated from Nooro and Dussu, and if family feels like them I do not want you to be separated,”

“What if they get mad?” Marinette asks, fidgeting.

“Then you’ll find a way to work through it,” Tikki smiles at them, “You’re Ladybug and Chat Noir, there isn’t anything you can’t do,”

“Just do it kid!” Plagg shouts, giving up on pretending to nap, “If it turns out bad at least you know!”

“Plagg!”

“What is it Sugar Cube?” Plagg asks sweetly, getting chased out the room moments later.

“So, we doing this?” Marion asks, after all their Kwamis have left.

“I guess so,” Marinette shugs, bringing out her phone, Marion holds her hand for comfort as they wait for the phone to ring.

“Hello?” Bruce picks up on the third ring.

“Hey Bruce,” Marion says, sounding strained even to himself.

“Marinette, Marion,” Bruce answers, pleasantly surprised, “Is everything alright?”

“How do you feel about telling everyone else?” Marion cuts straight to the chase, he can’t be bothered to run.

“... are you sure?” Marion can feel Marinette tension grow at the question, “I want to but they’ll all be surprised, it might ruin your trip,”

“We got sent to the hospital the first week being here,” Marion reasons, he should technically still be on bed rest.

“... That's true,”

“So?” He prompts after a too long pause.

“When do you want to tell them?”

“Tomorrow,” Marinette speaks up for the first time.

Well I guess that's that

-----------------------------

Taglist:

@technicallyburninggarden @fusser90  @misslenamooney @superbwhispersconnoisseur @biodad-bruce-month @nalu-ismyjam @the-one-woman-army @rosesandsailboats @blackmagicforever @zeneralla @ivymala07 @tired-butterfly @tired-butterfly @Ranger-gothamite @A-star-with-a-human-name @enchanted-nerd

[rae-is-typing]

Sick Day

Notes: This was requested by a lovely anon, and it was inspired by my past few days. Enjoy :)

Original request from anon: Can you write an Avenger imagine, where the reader is the youngest of the cast and gets sick/has an accident on set?

Description: You get sick. That’s it. That’s the fic.

Characters: reader, original female and male characters (manager named Masha, assistant named Alis, an EMT named Esme, trainer named Nick), RDJ, Chris Evans, Anthony Mackie, Sebastian Stan, Scarlett Johanson, Elizabeth Olson, the Russos

Warnings: Swearing sickness, vomiting, mention of pepto bismol (that shit’s NASTY), swearing, homework

Word count: 2.9k

You don’t get sick.

You don’t have time to get sick, so you don’t. Between filming, training, and school, sickness is absolutely not an option Simple as that, right?

Well, your body didn’t get the memo.

Your body is racked with chills, but you’re sweating profusely. You chalk it up yo the intense scene you’re filming; your character and Robert’s character just got into a massive screaming match over your character’s secret identity being revealed. But in the middle of the second take, your words dissolve into coughs.

"No, Tony! It's not okay!" You shout, whipping around to face a very pissed looking RDJ. "I-" A cough disrupts your words. "I don't-" This time you break down into a fit of uncontrollable coughing, even going as far as doubling over.

"Cut!" Robert rushes over to you, placing a hand on your back. He makes you stand up fully. He speaks up when you finally stop coughing. “You alright, kid?" You nod your head, rubbing at your throat.

"Yeah, I'm good. I'm sorry, I have no idea where that came from." A smile tugs at his lips. "Don't apologize, Y/N. It happens."

Alis, an assistant, comes over with a bottle of cold water, placing it on your hands with a curt not. You thank her and open the water, taking a few slow sips as the Russos offer feedback on what you managed to get through.

"That was are best take until the coughing. Whatever you did before, do that again." You try not to beat yourself up over the coughing; it's show business, it happens.

Getting back into position, you two manage to finish the scene with minimal interruptions. During your yelling match, your head begins to pound. It's not the light pounding you get when you didn't get enough sleep or you're dehydrated, it's the kind where you're sure that your old band director is leading the entire drum line on your brain tissue, or something is punching your skull with little pistons.

The second "Cut!" rings out through the set. You deflate, rolling your shoulders and rubbing your head. You trudge over to a small bench near the set and plop down, stretching your now aching limbs in the process.

Being the (mother hen) good mentor and costar he is, Robert realizes something is wrong very quickly. You're usually very bubbly after scenes end, the adrenaline still coursing through you. He can only think of one time he saw you like this, and that was right after you took the SATs. He calls over Alis again, asking her to get some green hibiscus tea with honey and acetaminophen. Alis is back within five minutes. He walks over to you and sits by you.

"Here, take these." You frown at the to-go cup and the small container in his hands, but ]take them anyways.

"What is it?"

"Tea, and tylenol. They'll help with your headache and cough." He says, matter-of-factly.

"Oh, thanks, Robert."

"Course, gotta help my favorite kid." He says, pushing himself off of the bench. "Now, I don't know about you, but I am starving. What do you say we get a bite with the others?" He extends a hand for you to take

"Sure," You say without thinking. Any time with the cast is great, even if you're extra tired and achy. You let him pull you up. The cast orders sandwiches from a little shop in downtown Atlanta, very close to the set.

You're gathered in a larger, mostly empty save for a few couches and chairs part of the set where you often meet. Everyone is talking. They're either going over that days work and characterization, recent events in the news, and their weekend plans. Your sandwich is a little off. It smells fine, it's exactly what you ordered, but it tastes... off. Something in it is making your stomach churn and grumble. You place the sandwich back in the wrapping it came in, fold it up, and throw it away.

That's enough for tonight, You decide. "I have school stuff that I need to get done." You say.

"Aw, okay. See you tomorrow!"

"Fuck school,"

"Language!"

"Shut the hell up, man."

You smile as you walk to your trailer. You do have school, you always have school, and it sucks major ass. The suckiest thing you have to complete is a seven page, MLA format, argumentative research paper about birth control in the developing world. And, oh my god, you would rather be hung upside down by your toe hair than write that fucking paper.

But you write it anyway.

Why? Because it's due in two days and you haven't started it yet. So you buckle down, ignoring the headache you have and your churning stomach, and do the damn thing.

You get three pages in before you decide that being tired isn't worth this paper. Getting up at 5:30 in the morning each day to train for two hours is definitely not your favorite part of your job, but it is some of the only alone time you’re able to get, so you'll take it. You stand up from your desk and immediately regret moving. Dizziness overcomes you. You flop back onto your office chair and press a hand to your forehead.

Taking a few deep breaths, you get back under control and stand up much slower. This time, you're able to walk to your small bedroom area with an attached bathroom. You wash your face, being extra careful as to not make yourself pass out from dizziness. You do the same when brushing your teeth.

During the night, you get all of two and a half hours of sleep. You toss and turn all night, unable to ignore the churning in your stomach for long enough. And the fact that you're hot one second and then freezing the next. it is impossible for you to sleep for more than a half hour at a time. But you eventually do.

Assuming that's the end of it, you sleep deeply until cramping in your stomach forces you out of bed. you make yourself sit up. A wave a nausea comes over you like a tidal wave. You hobble to the bathroom and lean over the toilet just in time.

Bile and your half-eaten sandwich forces its way from your stomach, up your throat, and into the toilet. It's gross. It smells vile, its chunky and the strain makes tears come to your eyes. You dry heave and cough until you're sure everything is out. Feebly, you flush the toilet and leaned back against the wall across from it, deep breathing until you stop crying.

Unaware of the time, you stay there until you feel strong enough to get up and brush your teeth. You hobble back to your bed, and lay back down. This time, falling asleep again.

A knocking on your door pulls you out of your slumber.

"Y/N? You need to get up." The smooth voice of your manager, Masha, floats through your door.

You jolt awake, now remembering that you have to train. "Shit, what time is it?"

"Six AM. I'm opening the door," Masha says, while opening the door. You wince as the light seeps in, covering your eyes.

"Whoa, what happened to you?" She asks. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, yeah yeah yeah, I'm good. Shit Nick is waiting. I'll get ready, gimme like two seconds," You ramble, stumbling out of bed.

"Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, hold on." Masha says, putting both hands on your shoulders, steadying you. Huh, you didn't realize you were wavering.

"You're burning up, Y/N." She observes, pressing the back of her hand on your forehead. "I think you're sick. Tell me what's going on."

"Nothing."

"Have you thrown up or anything? Headaches? Lie to me, and it won’t be pretty."

“I threw up,” You croak, flopping back on the bed.  

"Alright, I'm going to get Esme, stay here, lay down." Masha speaks quickly, pulling out her phone.

Esme is the lead EMT on set. She was an RN for years before transferring to emergency medical services. The stunt doubles and the actors take major precautions before stunting. However, some things can't be avoided, hence the EMTs.

Esme comes into your room in no time, followed closely by a worried Masha.

"Alright, Y/N. What's wrong?"

"I'm a little sick right now."

"Alright. Symptoms?"

"Chills, headaches, I uh threw up a few hours ago..." You hate admitting it. That means you won't be able to do much today. It's apart of your contract. If you get sick, you have to take at least two days off because you're a huge liability for Marvel. Being a minor kinda sucks.

She nods. "Alright hon, follow my directions." Esme checks you out thoroughly. After telling her about your weird sandwich, she nods knowingly.

"It looks like a fever, and that sandwich made you throw up. Get some pepto bismol and tylenol. Make sure to drink a lot of water and other clear liquids. Eat the BRAT diet, and you'll be good to go in a few days. I suggest making a doctor's appointment today, though. I can’t diagnose you."

"Alright, thanks Esme." Masha says as Esme leaves. She turns to you, sighing. "I'm sorry, N/N. I'll get what you need from a store, let the Russos know, and make the appointment. I think you should go back to sleep if you can."

"Thanks, Mash. You're the best."

She smiles gently before leaving. You turn on your side and pull the blanket over your head, eventually dozing off.

The veil of sleep is slowly lifted as you blink your eyes open. Thanks to some great blackout curtains you have, no light seeps into the trailer. This time, you don't feel nauseous. However, an inkling of dizziness is still there. You stay in your position for a few minutes until you reach for your phone. A ton of notifications appear on your lockscreen.

3 missed calls from Masha the Manager

Messages from Masha the Manager

Y/N, Nick is waiting. Where are you? Sent: 5:30

Get up now, Y/N. Sent: 5:30

Y/N. You're scaring me. You're never late. Sent: 5:43

Everything you need is on the counter. Read the note first though. Sent: 7:00

Message from evans

Hey Y/N. Heard you weren't feeling well. Lemme know if I can help, okay? Sent: 7:15 AM

Message from Romanian Bitch™

Masha told us you're sick. Feel better we need you! Sent: 7:19 AM

Message from Stanky Stark

Get better soon okay? Sent 7:19

Messages to No Boys Allowed!!!

ScarJo: get well soon babe. let us know if you need anything 7:20

Scarlet Bitch: aw, feel better N/N Sent: 7:21

It warms your heart knowing that they care so much about you. You send a simple thank you to each one of them and close your eyes again.It only takes a few seconds for you to remember all the homework you have to do. Your eyes snap open and you groan.

You do not want to do homework. But you have two whole days with no training and no work, so why wouldn't you? That thought is all you need to get out of bed. You don't bother changing. You migrate to the small living area, and go to the counter where Masha had set all the stuff. You found the note quickly, and read Masha's half print, half cursive writing.

Y/N,

Take two doses of pepto and two things of tylenol, but read the instructions!!! Eat some applesauce or toast, and call me if you get any worse.

-Masha

You unpack the canvas bag and quickly take your medicine. After that, you take all the food with you to the couch. You plant yourself on the soft sofa and dive into your work.

Being interrupted every few minutes with coughing is not the ideal space for productivity, especially because your throat is becoming increasingly raw. You put your phone in a drawer in your desk so you aren't distracted. Like most teens, you have a bad habit of prioritizing your phone.

A knock on the trailer door pulls you out of your focus. "Y/N, it's us!"

"Come in!" You say, still typing. You cringe at how sore you sound. Scarlett and Lizzie come in, still in costume.

"We can't stay for long," Scarlett starts, looking very apologetic. "We have a five minute break and we wanted to check on you."

You smile, setting your computer to the side. "Thanks guys. I appreciate it."

"How are you feeling?" Lizzie asks.

You shrug. "I'm okay, I guess."

"What were you doing?" Scarlett asks, spotting the half finished essay on your laptop. "You're supposed to be resting."

You sigh. "Yeah, but I should just get it done..."

The three of you talk about how shooting is going, and the production of the film in general. It's going smoothly. Nothing is going wrong. Soon, though, they have to leave. You're left to your own devices for another few hours.

Now that you’re revising the paper, your eyes ache, your left hand is cramping up, and you're positive you gave yourself carpal tunnel.

Another knock on the door reverberates through the trailer.

"Open up, kiddo!"

"It's unlocked." You snap back, not unkindly. Anthony and Sebastian walk in. You stop typing for a second to smile at them. "Hey,"  

"Hey, N/N." Sebastian smiles back. "We brought you soup."

Your face twists up. "Is it from the sandwich shop?"

"Nah, Masha told us that made you sick. This is from the high-end shop across the street," Anthony says, handing you a warm styrofoam bowl and a spoon. he also takes your laptop. "What are you writing an essay for? You’re sick! And a kid! Kids don’t do school when they’re sick.”

“What do you know about kids?” You smile, leaning forward to reach for your laptop.

"Nuh uh, no no no. You're going to relax while we're here, okay? And for your information, I have three children."

You cock an eyebrow. "Uh huuuuhhhh," you draw out.

He rolls his eyes, saves your essay, and turns on the television that you rarely use. "Alright, N/N. Netflix or Hulu?"

"My essay."

"Hey siri, does netflix or hulu have a show called 'My essay'?" You shove his shoulder lightly with a scowl. Sebastian is having a grand time laughing at you while eating his own soup.

"Alright, alright. We'll watch The Office, it's one of your favorites." Anthony chuckles.

You huff, leaning back on the couch and pulling off the cover to your soup. "Fine."

"Michael Scott is such a bad boss." Sebastian remarks.

"How dare you!" You gasp, your voice cracking severely.

"I can't take you seriously when you sound like a twelve year old boy." He retorts.

"You're being mean,"

"Mmm sorry sweetheart," He chuckles.

The three of you watch a couple episodes before they have to leave. You thank them for their time and the soup profusely. They wave you off, saying something along the lines of 'No problem, kiddo'.

After they leave, you snatch up your laptop and make the final revisions on your essay. There, finished in two days, and all it took was eating a bad sandwich. You should totally do that more often. (No you shouldn't. Never doing that again.)

You opt for more Michael Scott and some ginger ale mixed with Gatorade. You fall asleep on the couch huddled under a fleece blanket you retrieved from your room area two more episodes in, and wake up to gentle knocking and someone calling your name.

"Y/N? You there?"

"Yeah." You call, voice thick with sleep.

"Can we come in?"

"Sure?" You say, burrowing under the blanket. The door opens revealing Chris Evans and Robert, both looking tired after a long day of filming.

"Did we wake you up?" Chris asks.

"Yeah, it's fine though," You yawn, sitting up slowly.

"Oh, sorry 'bout that kiddo,"

You shrug. "What's up?"

Robert gives you a dad smile. "We just wanted to come see how you're doing. Feeling any better?"

"Yeah, I guess. Don't feel pukey anymore."

"That's good. Anthony said you were doing homework all day?" Chris asks, tone not too far from accusatory.

"I had an essay to do." You defend.

Robert clicks his tongue. "You're supposed to be resting, Y/N, not doing homework."

You pout. "I still had to get it done..."

"Alright, no school stuff tomorrow, okay?" Robert orders. "Rest only."

"Rest only." You repeat.

"Alright, now go to bed. You look exhausted."

"Okay. Thanks for checking on me," You stand up slowly, paying close attention to how you feel. You give each of them a hug before going to your room.

You check your phone, again giving in to those bad habits.

Message from Masha the Manager

Doc appointment at 1 pm tomorrow. He's gonna make a house call.

Sent 7:28 PM

You shoot back a quick 'K' before turning it off and laying down for the night.

[omigiry]

Being best friends with Kunimi and Kindaichi

request:  hcs for being besties with kunimi and kindaichi ? - anon

ry’s notes: I really love Kunimi, he’s one of my favorite characters in Seijoh (even though all of them are my faves) and I really relate to him so much along with Kenma who’s just too lazy at some point. (edited)

━━━ 𝙆𝙪𝙣𝙞𝙢𝙞

Kunimi is one lazy guy. We all know that he hates the phrase “go all out.”

Being his best friend means you can’t drag him out of his house that easily. When you do he’ll mostly stay on his phone. He enjoys hanging out with you, but he much prefers hanging out at your house or his house and just lies on the couch and chill.

When he gives advice he would first insult you before giving one. When he knows you’re serious he would make an effort to actually give genuine and well thought advice.

Would be there to support you, not just physically. Because the boy loves his bed more than anything else. (jk he loves you more but doesn’t admit it)

You love to annoy him just to see his reaction. If he insults you, you insult him back. It’s how you both show your affection towards each other.

Both of you share with each other the weird and funny things you see on the internet, especially the struggle tweets.

“For the last time, no.” Kunimi said as you try to convince him to hang out at the mall after class. 

“Come on. I wanna watch the movie.” You tried again as you kept pulling his arm.

“Let’s wait for it to be online.” He reasoned out. 

“But that would take another year!” He grimaced, he knows that you’re not going to easily give up. You’ve been talking about this movie ever since it was announced and how you wanted to watch it in the cinema. It was a movie adaptation of one of the best selling books, you’ve checked out already and you were hooked.

“Fine.” He finally gave up and your face immediately lit up. “But I know this wouldn’t be worth it.”

Once the movie was done, so to say Kunimi was right. It wasn't worth it. 

“I told you so.” He said as he enjoys the look of disappointment on your face. You glared at him, hating the fact that he was right.

The movie did no justice on how the book portrayed the characters and some of the notable parts of the book got cut off on the movie.

“Next time, if I say so, you’ll gladly agree. Kunimi knows best.”

━━━ 𝙆𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙖𝙞𝙘𝙝𝙞

He’s a competitive guy and would not easily back down. 

Whenever you play games together he would get competitive and defeat you with all his might. If he loses a game he would want a rematch. He would also keep records of how many wins and loses he had with you. (let’s pretend that you crushed him a lot of times that’s why he’s salty)

You would sometimes have a debate of which one is better and which one is not — type of debates.

Down for anything. He won’t be the one asking to hang out, but if you did he would accompany you or immediately say yes. 

The only thing he would drag you is to watch a volleyball match with him or practice with him.

Ready to protect you like an older sibling.

When you’re sad he would buy you your comfort food and would stay with you until you feel alright. And once you are he would say that the food was not free (he’s only kidding tho to make you feel better)

“My server lagged. Let’s have a rematch!” Kindaichi said over the call you were having as you played a 1v1 match. 

You agreed and crushed him again and he would ask for another rematch. You defeated him countless times and you would comment on the number of wins you had just to rub it in his face. 

“Well it’s because I have club activities and you don’t, so I don’t have any time to play video games that much.” He made an excuse. 

“What was that? I can’t hear you. I only hear cries of a loser.” You poked his competitiveness and would sometimes make an unfair match. Like who could reach the ceiling on the corridor or even challenge you in volleyball.

You’d get in a debate on what’s better, coffee or milktea. You’ll both chat in all caps like you’re screaming at each other just to prove your point. Both of you wouldn’t give up and would drag Kunimi in the conversation.

The debate won’t end unless someone changes the subject and it’s Kunimi’s job to do that just to stop the both of you flooding his notifications so that he could enjoy watching a video.

𝗯𝗼𝗻𝘂𝘀 + 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙚𝙚 𝙥𝙚𝙖𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙖 𝙥𝙤𝙙

You got yourself two personal bodyguards that would make fun of you.

When someone bullies you they are ready to protect you. Saying that they are the only one who has the right to bully you. On a serious note, they will really protect you at all cost. They know that you’re a tough person (surviving the friendship you have with the two made you tough because of all the insults they throw at you), but there’s still a limit to it. So if they know it’s getting out of hand, they’ll step in.

Love it when you bring them snacks during practices.

It isn’t a normal day if the three of you are not having a heated conversation over something, like the one with Kindaichi. Kunimi is tired of it.

Likes to rest their elbows or arms on your shoulder if you’re shorter than them and you would shove it away and kick them on the knees. 

You never walk in the corridors alone, if it’s not with the two of them, one would always be by your side. 

Lowkey terrified of you when you get mad.

You three were walking on the way to the gym when someone randomly insults you. Like the big person you are, you ignored them. It isn’t worth it to waste energy on people like them. It was all fine but then they decided to hit a sore topic and it made you stop.

Kunimi and Kindaichi sense your sudden change of attitude, before you could even do something Kunimi put a hand on your shoulders. “I never knew Seijoh lowered their standards to accept students like them.” He said it enough for them to hear it. 

Kindaichi would glare at them as he shields your back in order for you not to look. 

The third years were also on their way to the gym so they saw what happened. Since you were close with Kunimi and Kindaichi and watched them practice they got to know you too, they joined in protecting you and the third years being proud of them standing up for you. 

“We did it because if she’s the one who fought back, they might end up transferring to another school.” Kindaichi jokes.

“Or her getting suspended.” Kunimi added. You weren’t violent but your words hurt when you get fired up or angry.

“You know I was gonna thank you by treating you guys, but I changed my mind.”

requests are open, hc’s, scenarios, imagines. but it might take me a lil while to make it, i’ll still try my best. Thank you for reading, really appreciate y’all  ♡ ♡ ♡ stay hydrated and keep your hands clean  ♡

[firemblem-fics]

Smitten Kitten [3]

one | two | three | four | finale

-> Pairing: Felix x Female!Reader | Hybrid!Au (mostly platonic idk)

-> Words: 1.6k

-> Warnings: Cursing, A Literal Karen, Mentions of Abuse (not too in depth, but still there), Manipulation, a Slightly Suggestive Conversation

-> Genre: Fluff, Crack, Some Angst

-> Summary: You never wanted to be involved with hybrids. They were risky and had too many rules for you. But what will you do when a little black and white cat that you take in turns out to be the very thing you steered clear of?

-> A/N: so I made two FE3H oc’s and also have gotten back into drawing so I was wondering ... how would y’all feel if I wrote and also posted some of my drawings and stuff here? it would give y’all more content and I’d probably be inclined to post more often lol anyways enjoy

“This is fucking stupid-”

“Stupid? Felix, you lied to me.”

You were livid. First this fuck-ass cat shows up in your life, worms his way into your heart even though you swore you wouldn’t get a hybrid, and then brings all kinds of trouble with him. If you weren’t already so attached to him, you’d just let the people- Doug and Karen- take him. But you couldn’t. You cared too much.

“It’s not that big of a deal.”

“It’s a huge deal! You told me that they didn’t want you, not that you ran away. Do you know how this can affect me keeping you? They can take me to court or something and get you back.”

“But you signed the papers, I’m yours.”

Your heart fluttered, but you ignored it. “You’re mine, but you also belong to these people. I can’t just take you from them, but I can’t let you go back to them if they were that bad to you- were they even bad? Or did you just not like them? Did you lie to me about that too?”

Felix’s eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t like them because they were bad. Look at ‘em. They don’t love anything except for the gold around their necks, especially not me. I was literally put in cat shows to earn money. If I ever got below first place, they’d…”

He shuddered and sat down on the edge of your bed. You leaned against the door, arms crossed. From the other room you heard talking. Ashe probably saw your front door open and came to investigate.

Felix couldn’t look you in the eyes. You looked so hurt. Not even angry- just hurt. “Please don’t make me go back.”

You sighed and dropped your arms. “I don’t want you to go back, Fe. But I- I don’t know what else to do. They’ve obviously got more money and if they take me to court they’ll win for being ‘better equipped’ to care for you.”

“But they’re not.” His voice was growing desperate. “You are. What if- what if we can prove the center that you’re better than them? Courts don’t deal with Hybrid ownership, the facilities do. Nancy does.”

At that moment, the door creaked open. Two red ears appeared first, then a mop of red hair.

Sylvain grinned and walked in, closing the door and throwing a wink Felix’s way. The cat bristled.

“Give me your phone.”

“I’m not cheating, I swear.”

“We’re not- fuck you, give me your phone, Sylvain.”

The dog practically whimpered and handed over the phone. Felix had a Cheshire grin as he unlocked it. Typical Sylvain to not have a password despite all the dumb shit on the phone. You tapped your foot impatiently, anxious for Ashe who kept the two other people occupied.

“So, what are you planning?”

“I’ll go back with them, but I’ll keep this phone. I’ll- I’ll take those audio messages and send videos and shit when I can. I’ll just have to be careful.” This was the most Felix had ever talked to anyone. His voice was shaky, despite trying to desperately hide it.

“Absolutely not. Felix, you're not going with them! Who knows what they’ll do-“

“I think me dealing with their shit for a few weeks will be worth it if I get to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Your eyes widened and so did Felix’s. He flushed a bright red after realizing what he said. Sylvain cracked up.

“I- I mean, as an owner. You don’t do those things, that’s all. I just-“

“Nah, nah, it’s alright, you little smitten kitten~” Sylvain still smiled. “We catch your drift.”

Felix huffed. “There’s no drift to catch! Fucking drop it! Drop the drift!”

He stood up and yanked the door open, scaring the shit out of Ashe. You followed him quickly, grabbing onto his sleeve as Sylvain went back to Ashe’s side.

“You don’t have to do this, we can find another way.” You whispered. Felix could clearly see your absolute distress at letting him leave.

He held your gaze and let out a sigh. “I’ll be okay. You and Ashe just keep a lookout for my messages.”

With that, Felix tugged his arm out of your grasp and walked to Doug and Karen. He didn’t say anything, just looked down at the ground, his head lowered.

Submission.

That wasn’t the Felix you had come to know. Felix was loud and didn’t take shit from anyone. To see him suddenly reduced to something resembling a kicked puppy- the irony- was borderline heartbreaking.

You couldn’t help but tear up as the door closed. Sylvain whimpered. Ashe, who was silent and confused the whole time, whipped around to you.

“What the fuck is going on?” He seethed. “You didn’t even put up a fight-“

“Take a chill pill, Ashie.” Sylvain went behind Ashe and began to massage his shoulders. Ashe slapped his hands away. “We’ve got a plan.”

“A plan? Y/N, listen, you’re not Claude. You’re not Yuri. Your little plans never work the way they should.”

“Just give this one a chance!” You practically pleaded. “Felix has Sylvain’s phone. He’s gonna send updates and videos on what they’re doing. Hopefully they’ll be enough to convince the facility that Felix is better off with me.”

“Or not! If you don’t remember correctly, the lady fucking hated Felix. She’d probably do whatever she can to make sure he suffers.”

“Maybe the fact that we’re fighting to get him back will prove that we care more than the others-“

“-who literally came to your door and wanted him back. I’ve got no doubt they’ll fight too.” Ashe sighed. “This will only work if they really do something.”

At that moment, your phone pinged. The notification was from Sylvain’s phone. A video from Felix.

You opened the message and pressed okay, shushing Ashe and turning up the volume. Felix was in the backseat of the car while Doug and Karen sat up front. The angle was shitty and the phone was extremely shaky. Felix was trying to hide the phone from them.

“Felix Hugo, what the fuck were you thinking? Leaving like that? After all we’ve done for you?” Karen’s voice was shrill and loud, not even hiding her anger.

“After all you’ve done for me? You’ve done nothing-“

“Shut up! You’re ungrateful. We’ve fed you and housed you. You’re lucky someone even does that for a dumb cat like you. You’re practically feral- unlovable!”

The camera shook a little harder at that word.

Unlovable.

Your heart clenched, but there were still a few more seconds to the video.

“I can’t believe you thought a girl like that would even care about you. See how easily she let you go? She didn’t really want you. See, Felix Hugo? See how worked up you’ve gotten me?”

Doug’s voice cut in, silencing Karen’s annoying distress. “Just wait until we get home. We’ll deal with him there.”

You were probably shaking even more than Felix at this point. ‘Wait until we get home’... you didn’t even want to think of the implications of that.

The video was pure manipulation. But… to some, it may not be enough to make them question Felix’s safety.

Unfortunately.

You texted back, “Just a little more. In about two days, we’ll contact the facility and try to get them to hear us. I’m so sorry.”

“You’re trying your best. Just… try faster.”

“Miss you already.”

Seen.

Hanging your head, you looked up at the two boys. You shrugged and turned off your phone. A few more days, you said. Could you even handle that? You were already so used to his presence. To have an empty household again was something you didn’t want.

Even if it was full of Felix yelling… it was kind of endearing. He was always angry when Ashe and Sylvain were around. It makes sense why other people would be put off by his personality. But he was just…

Defensive.

Felix had walls up that were practically impenetrable. Could that excuse the rude, borderline abusive words he said to others? No. He could only apologize and do better from that. But he wouldn’t get better if he was with Doug and Karen.

You put your head in your hands and began tearing up. “I just want him safe. With me.”

Ashe and Sylvain exchanged glances.

“Yeah, you want him with you. To be with you. To… share your bed, in a literal sense, right?” Sylvain’s eyes held a sly glint in them. You raised an eyebrow.

“What are you on about now?”

“You and Felix. You want him to be with you. You want to be with him…”

“What?”

“Do you have feelings for him? You wanna fuck that cat?”

“Wh- I don’t want to fuck a cat! He’s… he’s more human than cat. Hybrids are just people that can turn into animals…”

Sylvain rolled his eyes. “Hybrids are people that can turn into animals, have ears and a tail, go into heats, all that shit. You don’t want to deal with an angry feline in a heat-“

“Is that why you’re neutered?”

“I’M NOT NEUTERED. FUCK YOU.”

You just sighed and checked your phone again. No check from Felix, even though it hasn't even been five minutes since the last message. You were just scared.

Ashe got up and began to cook dinner for you, deciding that you weren’t fit to do it tonight. You protested, but ultimately complied as Sylvain laid his head in your lap in hopes of an ear scratch.

That night, you tossed and turned. It was weird without a little cat body at the foot of your bed. You couldn’t help but think of worst case scenarios, spanning from just not being able to get Felix back to rather… unsavory ideas of what could be happening to him now. You finally settled down and forced your eyes shut, hoping that your dreams would be better than your thoughts.

They weren’t.

[itriedandimtired]

Birthday

a/n: GUESS WHOSE BIRTHDAY IT IS– I've had this in my draft since March, and the moment it became May I was like- “why don't I publish this on his birthday?”, so here we are! Happy Birthday Roman Sanders 😔❤✨ also thank you so much to @palette6 (is that the url? They're deactivated I can't tag them :( ) for helping me with parts of whatever this is! :D

AU: Human!AU

Genre: Hurt/comfort

WARNINGS: toxic mother, feeling bad, hint of s*x joke, a little crying as well. it will be fluff by the end tho, oh also a LOT of time skips, bad writing because I'm too lazy to edit-

_____________

Roman jolted up on his bed.

School.

Roman thought, he gets up quickly turning to his door. That's when he stops for a second, recalling the fact he won't be going to school today. Of course, Patton was disappointed, but that was Roman's parents decision.

His parents insisted on visiting his brother, Remus. Roman had just plan to go out with Patton today, but guess his birthday can't go as well as he wishes.

Birthday.

‘One year closer to death’, as Virgil would say.

Roman sigh as he flops back onto his bed. He glance at his bags those he had packed up last night.

He will need to get ready soon.

_____(beep boop time skoop)_____

Roman dried himself up as soon as he finished taking bath. Usual morning, usual routine.

He soon changes into his outing outfit; which includes a pastel red sweater, skinny jeans, quarter white socks and his slip-on shoes.

Ding!

His phone lights up from the notifications.

Space nerd 🌌: Happy birthday, Roman.

Padre 🐶❤: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROMAN!! 💖💗💓💕

Emo nightmare 🕷: yo princey, happy birthday lmao

Okay, that made Roman smiled. God, he loves his friends so much.

He send replies to them, simple ones as his mother already called for him.

Roman shuts his phone then slips it into his pocket as he walks over to his bags, picking them up and walks outside his house in a fast pace.

He placed his bags inside the car, was ready to take a seat-

“You're not going to help your father? Really? ”

Those words from his mother hurts. He takes a deep breathe as he makes his way to his father and helps with what he could. He could tell this will be a tiring day, though anything barely starts.

_____(time skip brought to you by my love for Roman)_____

It was half-way through the journey when Roman had his earbuds on.

“Laying down my pride, I need to tell you how much I need you now.”

He leans against his window as he lets his mind drift off to the song. He loves the song, it reminds him of the time back then when he was mean to others, specifically Virgil.

He really wants to apologize, he really does. He just doesn't know how to. He just-

“ROMAN!”

He flinched at the call, quickly pulling off one of his earbuds as he stares at his mother. “Ye- yes?” He stuttered out.

“Jesus Christ, you're always with your earbuds! What are you even listening to?”

“I was listening to a song-”

“Well, does it have anything to do with your education?”

“No-”

“Then it's not worth it!”

Roman chew on his lower lips, he hates this. He doesn't like it when his mother keeps yelling at him for whatever interest he has.

“Roman, you're falling behind from your friends already. Quit disappointing me.”

Roman only nods at that, he only nods at every single words his mother yelled.

“How do you want it? How do I say it? How do I let you know that I'm sorry? ” the song played.

What a perfect timing.

_____(another time skip I'm so sorry-)_____

“Roman, pass me the tissue.”

Roman woke up from his sleep, barely awake. He passes his mother the tissue box – that's what she wanted, right? – weakly, haven't gaining his energy yet.

He swear he felt the tissue box was lift up, he swear someone had taken the tissue box from his hand. So why had it fallen when he let it go?

“Roman! God, can't you do a single thing right?!” his mother started yelling.

Roman is fully awake now, shrinking himself. He glance out of the window as his mother is still yelling, noticing how they're in front of the hotel they'll be staying at.

Only God knows how grateful he is for that.

Soon, but not soon enough, his mother stopped yelling. “Whatever, just go help your father with the bags.” Roman nods, getting out of the car to his father.

“Here, bring these. I'll bring the others.” His father said as he hands the younger male a bunch of bags. Roman takes them carefully, balancing himself and he makes his way to the hotel's main door.

“Hey, son?”

Roman stops, turning to his father.

“Happy birthday,” his father smiled.

Roman froze, before he returns the smile and whispers a soft “thank you”.

_____(last time skip I swear-)_____

Roman lies on the bed as he stares at the ceiling. He doesn't share the same room with his parents, which he thinks is a very good idea. Not only can he avoid his mother, but he could gives his parents some space if they're into.. something.

Roman chuckled at the thought, Remus had rub off on him. Then he remembered what happened that day. It's not that he's not used to is, because he is. He doesn't even know why his heart broke so much that day whenever his mother yells at him.

Could it be because it's his birthday? He doesn't know either. He never really feels like anyone care, so why is today any different? Why is his heart so sensitive specifically that day? Why are his emotions so messed up? Why-

Then he broke down. Roman burst into tears, he doesn't stop for quite a while. He doesn't know how long has he been crying, but it sure as hell feels really long.

His phone's ringing is what stopped his crying. He looks at his phone, realizing it was his friends who are calling him, and he's not in the mood for that. So he waits, until the ringing stops.

And when it does, he sighs of relief. The notification, however, changed his mind.

Space Nerd 🌌: Roman, I believe you do not want to upset Patton. I suggest you answer the phone next time.

Emo Nightmare 🕷: Dude, answer ur phone tf

Padre 🐶❤: answer the phone plsss :(

Roman stares at his phone, if Logan and Virgil agree on a thing; he knows for a fact that he should be doing whatever that is. But doesn't mean he can't disagree. Patton saying it, however–

Whatever, it was too late for that anyway.

Riiiingggg!

Or not. He sprinted to the bathroom, splashing water to his face. He messily wipes the water away before he answer the phone.

“Roman!!” Patton speaks happily, as Virgil only shows his ceiling leaving Logan to formally greet Roman.

“Hey guys! What's up?” Roman greets through the phone, Virgil then lifts up his phone revealing his eyes and eyeshadows under them. “What's up? It's your birthday, duh!” Virgil says.

“Yep! Oh, we prepared something!” Patton informed, getting up from the chair he was sitting on and sprinted to somewhere else. Roman is shocked, to say the least. This is his first birthday to celebrate with his friends, even if it's through the phone. He clearly hadn't expected anything more than a “Happy Birthday”.

However, here he is; laying on a hotel bed while he's face timing his friends, confused to why had his friends prepared something for his birthday.

Then Patton is back, with a paper in his hands. “We were planning to give it to you today, but you didn't come to school. But that's alright! I will read it out to you, alright?” Patton says cheerfully.

“Alright??” Roman answers- well, more like questioning.

“I will start with mine first! May I?”

“Of course, Patton. Go ahead.” Logan speaks, for the first time since his greet.

Patton takes a deep breath, before he starts reading the paper.

“Hola, Roman!” Roman quickly recognized the usage of Spanish, and he must admit; he's impressed that his friends even remember that he could speaks in Spanish. “If you're reading this – well more like listening now – happy birthday kiddo! I know you're going through some stuff, especially with your self-esteem–” Roman quickly teared up at the words “–but you stayed strong, and that honestly impressed me. I've always said this but, I'll always be here for you. You don't have to be afraid, because I'll fight for you just like how you Fight For Me.” Roman chuckled at the Heathers reference as he rubs his watery eyes. “Thank you, Puffball,” Roman muttered, luckily loud enough for the others to hear.

“You are very welcome! Logan, do you want to read yours by your own?” Patton asks directly at the logical male among the four. “That would be,, nice, Patton. Ahem- Roman, I'd like to wish you a happy birthday.”

It was quiet for a while, to the point Roman questioned if Logan is done. That was, until Logan speaks again.

“I also would like to let you know, you might as well be one of the greatest things that's ever happened to me. Having you as my best friend is an honor, admittedly. Though you could be loud and obnoxious at times, you still stick with me until now. I always thought friends will never be my main priority but, you proved me wrong–” Logan takes a deep breath “–I started my journey alone, until you came along. From that, the four of us got along. I am never great with emotions, so I hope you get what I mean.”

Roman was stunned, he never thought Logan out of all people would be the one who said such a thing.

“What I'm trying to say is, thank you Roman. For everything you've sacrificed, though it might looks silly, I know it means a lot to you.” Logan spoken again, which froze Roman even more. The tears he had wipe away are just coming back again threatening to fall off his eyes.

“Virgil? Would you like to read it by yourself or-”

“God- please read it for me, I don't think I have the courage.”

“Certainly,” Logan flips the paper he was holding. “Oh- I don't think me reading this would be a great option, so uh- Patton, if you'd like?” Logan phrased unsurely.

“Of course!” Patton flips his own paper before reading Virgil's letter.

“Yo, Princey. Happy birthday. So uh, y'know I'm not good with expressing feelings with words and cliches bs like this–” Patton had look confused when he reads the word ‘bs’, however let it go “–but just to let you know, I appreciate your efforts. I know you've been trying to improve yourself and trying to be less mean to me, and you're doing great. Yeah, you were a jerk and all but hey, past is the past and let's get over it. I know you feel guilty, and you're allowed to. But just know, you don't have to. And oh, another thing;” Patton smiled excitedly, before he reads out the last sentence.

“Thank you for willing to accept me, and now I'd do the same to you.”

Roman was crying, at that point. Sure, he was crying as well before they were video chatting but this time.

This time, he feels happy. He feels loved, accepted and content.

Breathlessly, he whispered “Thank you so much, for everything.”

[hazbincalifornia]

Something Very Special

Chapter 4:  A few moments of reflection.

Likes, replies, and reblogs are all appreciated, both here and on ao3!

Warnings: Mpreg

Ao3 link

Blitzo prodded at his stomach in front of the full-length mirror in his room while wearing only his pants. It was a bit more obvious without a shirt and coat on that there was a slight bump, especially considering his slender physique. It had been a few hours since the visit with Stolas, and he could still almost feel the owl-demon’s hand against him. 

Before leaving, Stolas had insisting on getting to feel his stomach again- it wasn’t sexual, as promised, but it made Blitzo shiver, the gentle way Stolas moved his fingertips over the skin and how he cooed with his eyes glowing brighter than usual.

“They’ll be perfect. I’m so glad you decided to keep them. This will all be worth it, Blitzy- you’re doing something very special.” 

He was almost a month through, and there hadn’t been any real side effects yet. None that he’d actively noticed, anyway- he’d been a bit queasy while drinking coffee a time or two and had puked in the bushes on the way home from the bar after work once, but that could have just been the cheap, shitty booze and the fact that he’d been more ‘spinning’ than ‘dancing’ by the end of the night. Loona had pretty much dragged him back to the apartment when he almost passed out anyway- not his fault that the snacks weren’t good enough to waste money on so he ended up drunk way too fast. Ugh, he'd probably have to drop drinking, wouldn't he? Greeeeeeat.

In the other room, Loona was listening to some punk band he couldn’t recognize. He liked the fast, loud sound it had to it though, all the lyrics fuzzed through the walls so it was just the beat. Blitzo drummed his fingers over the bump.

“You’d better not be any trouble, you hear me? The most I want to deal with is people calling me fat or some shit. Maybe I can get something tailored? Might have to ask Stolas about that. I’d hate to be just popping out of everything in my wardrobe, I’ve got too good of a sense of fashion for that and I can’t deny the world me at my best.” He’d need to make a list of things he wanted before but hadn’t been willing to push his luck with Stolas on.

Actually, now that he thought of it... he’d been kind of pushing his luck the last few days, hadn’t he? He’d even insulted Stolas to his face earlier, but the owl had barely even flinched, too swept up in the fact that Blitzo was agreeing to keep the baby. If it meant he could loosen his lips a little outside of the bedroom, Blitzo’d count this as a double success for a while. Maybe that was another side effect- hormones? The inhibitions to not tiptoe around the dude who knocked you up? The one who knocked you up being more lenient himself? Who fuckin’ knew! He’d never exactly asked Mom about what it was like having him and his sisters, he figured nobody who wasn’t about to have kids did shit like that who wasn’t a pervert.

Blitzo’d been playing ball with Stolas for... geez, at least six months at this point? He’d never written it down or anything. It always felt like pins and needles until he either said some dumbshit thing Stolas didn’t find funny that he had to fumble over a half-assed apology for, or Stolas just started getting raunchy right in the middle of the calls he insisted on at least twice a week. At least when the guy got started, most of the time he just burnt himself out with an occasional ‘mhm’ or ‘oh yeah’ from Blitzo, who was getting pretty good at tuning it out. Horny bastard was probably jacking off during half of them too, from the squelches and moaning noises. Weirdo. It was like he didn’t know about porn or something.

But! But, he’d offered to leave actual sex off the table for five full months with the baby thing. It really said how much he wanted this, and it also said that Blitzo was probably going to be able to get away with a lot more than usual if Stolas was willing to forgo their ‘fornication’ (seriously, who used words like that, just say ‘fucking’ like a normal person) for the entire time. Maybe Blitzo could actually get lucky with someone else for once, if he wanted to.

“What do you think about all of this? I figure the weight will be worth not having to worry about him just scooping me up and running off during work hours. And that’s on top of actually having some real good stuff out of our little relationship besides him just not taking the book back.” He paused. “And the sex when we get around to it. That’s usually pretty good.” He turned to Spirit Jr, who was propped up on the bed. The stuffed horse just stared up at him, but he felt fairly sure that the emotion given off was approval. “Very helpful. Thank you.”

“Yo, Blitzo.” Loona rapped her knuckles on the doorframe before pushing the door open, and grimaced before slamming it shut again. “Geez, get dressed first!”

“I’m in my room, just ask first!” He tugged a hoodie on, the oversized fabric completely smothering his frame when he looked down before opening the door again, meeting her eyes. “What is it, honey?”

“Just making sure you were still keeping it.” She held up her phone. “Millie asked and the notifications are getting annoying.”

Blitzo squinted at the screen, and could see that Millie had sent a picture of Moxxie pacing with his fingers laced behind his back.

“Geez, he’s acting like it’s his baby or something. Priss. Yeah, I’m keeping it.” He rubbed an idle circle over the pocket of the hoodie, fingers criss-crossing a star on the inside of it. Of course, it didn’t have much power without the book in the other room.

“I know, just making sure you weren’t changing your mind and trying to cut it out in there.” She raised an eyebrow. “I’m only asking because this was the fourth text and she was worried you’d done something stupid. Did you check your phone?”

“Yeah, of course!” He blinked before heading back to where he’d hung up his coat, digging into the pocket before pulling out his phone that was currently flashing with several missed texts. Four long rambling ones from Moxxie, three slightly shorter ones from Millie, and then one each from Loona and Stolas. (Stolas’s was just a series of emojis that Blitzo didn’t really feel up to interpreting, including for some reason several leaves.)

He shot back a text to the IMP groupchat.

Im fine u gyus, dont worry aboutme. Its all good nd im keepingit.

He flopped down on the bed to start scrolling through Voxtagram, and Loona firmly snapped the door shut at the same moment the bed creaked from his weight. 

“G’night, Blitzo.”

“G’night, Loonie! See you tomorrow bright and early!” he called back at the sound of her plodding down the hall. “We’ve got another job lined up!”

If he was lucky, maybe nothing else would even have to change.

[ph2-1]

To my people

To you, the generation I grew up in, the people I surrounded myself with every day, the people who I don’t know but know are out there somewhere, this is to you.

To the boy curled up in bed who’s been taught by society that he must be a strong, masculine man who can’t cry in front of anyone, who has grown up suppressing so many tears and emotions that now he just feels so painfully numb even the blade in his hand can’t hurt him anymore.

To the girl sat on the floor of the shower, trying to scrape every last inch of her skin clean, who is scratching so much and so hard that she is ripping her skin off and bleeding. Trying to clean away the dirt that was forced upon her by a man who she said no to, by a man who she didn’t ask for nor want. But she is too afraid to speak up because of the limits that society has tied her to, because she knows that she was wearing a skirt and a crop top that night and that she had been drinking at a friends house.

To the kids who are sat aching on the floor of their bedrooms, who had their hearts broken and torn to pieces too early, who experienced heartbreak so prematurely that they will never fully recover. And the only sounds they will remember for years to come is the sounds of their favourite sad songs that they listened to on repeat as their broken heartstrings bled the the tears they held up. That they’ll never truly be able to swim because of the ocean of tears that they drowned themselves in.

To the friends who were a crutch for everyone, who listened and helped whenever they were called upon, but never had anyone there to help them themselves. The friends who were no more a third leg to stand on than a passing night cloud. Who helped everyone no matter what, and gave their best advice when on the inside they were dying themselves.

To the kids who tried their best to make everyone around them happy, who gave their everything to everyone just so they could see a smile on someone’s face, but were met with nothing more than hate and misconceptions. The kids who everyone thinks are rude and heartless, when in reality they’re the nicest people anyone could ask for. Who gave so much in the name of someone else’s happiness that they neglected they’re own, and are now filled with a bitter emptiness of lost hope and broken dreams.

To the people who have argued with who they are, who have tried to be someone they’re not and have tried to suppress their inner feelings because they are so scared of who they really are.

To the queer kids who have grown up being told that God is every kind of love except theirs, who have lost their sense of self and their sense of self worth, who are absolutely terrified that the love they are feeling will burn too bright and they’re bodies will be dragged down and lost in the flames of hell

To the minorities who feel like they will never truly belong in this world because no matter where they go there is always somebody waiting to discriminate against them.

To the people of colour who are terrified to walk down the street day or night incase they coincidentally match the description of a suspect of a break in from 2 days ago, incase a white supremacist turns the corner to see them, and their stone cold eyes stare straight into yours as they slowly pull a knife out of their pocket.

To the Latinx’s who are told each day to “go back to Mexico” despite the fact that you’re from Cuba, Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic, or just anywhere other than Mexico, because they fail to see that Mexico. Isn’t. The. Only. Country. To. Speak. Spanish. And that, this is your home.

To the children who grew up in silence, who sat in the still like statues daring not to make even the smallest of movements, with not so much as a breath falling from their mouths. Who grew up seeing fists instead of hugs, who grew up black and blue instead of colourful and happy. The kids who used to cover up with oversized jumpers and make up because the bruises were getting too frequent to be passed off as ‘just clumsy’. To the kids so terrified of the hand that would be laid across them if they stepped out of line that their lives became a tightrope of fear and paranoia, that they may never get to the end because the rope leads on forever even after they have grown up.

To the kids who barely made it through the education system even though they tried their hardest every single day, even though they worked as hard as they could and applied themselves in their all to everything they did. Who barely scrapped C’s when their effort was A* worthy. Who were told “you just didn’t try hard enough” even though their hands were bleeding ink from all the writing they had done, even though their eyes were red with pain because they hadn’t slept properly in weeks, even though their stomachs howled like the wind of a hurricane because they hadn’t eaten properly for days, because revision was more important their health.

To the children and teens who are scared to go to school every single day, terrified that it might be their last. The kids who will grow up knowing that they will never be able to see their best friend ever again, the kids who laid underneath a table as they watched the life drain out of their best friends once bright and happy eyes, knowing they’ll never be able to say “I love you” one last time.

To the friends who are terrified to watch their American friends go to school each day because they fear that one day they’ll never hear from them again, because the last sound they ever heard wasn’t the notification of your text but the detonation of a gun ricocheting through their ears as a bullet embedded itself into their body.

To the kids who walk the school halls each day pretending not to hear the abuse that’s shouted at them by their peers. The kids who cry in the shower because then their tears are invisible, because it makes it that little bit less real, because it makes the pain hurt that little bit less. Who walk into school each day void of any feeling, who have emptied themselves so they will feel nothing, because feeling nothing hurts less than the suffering they would be put through.

To the people who smile every day when all they want to do is cry, who say they’re fine when really they are anything but. Who walk each day like a victory when inside the war is still raging on, knowing that reinforcements are not coming.

To the LGBT+ people who have to hide in the closet, terrified to open the doors, because they know the world is so quick to judge but so slow to accept even when it is true love. The people who feel like they’ll never truly belong because they’ve learnt to hate themselves, because what they are is wrong and sinful, because they have to listen to homophobic comments every single day and pretend like they are something they’re not in the vain hope that maybe no one will see through the facade.

To my generation. To my people. My friends and my foes. My friends that I haven’t met yet and the people that I will never meet. The people that I don’t know but know are out there. I hear you. This world is a blacked up shade of fuckery, this world will take any shred of hope you have and crush it whilst you watch.

But to each and every one of you, you’re amazing. You face a different challenge every day, you break on the inside and still stand tall, you’ve learnt to fix yourself because no one else will. You are an inspiration! You may not now, but you will be proud of who you are one day, you will be proud of your personality, proud of your heritage, proud of your sexuality! You will not suffer in silence anymore. You are beautiful, smart, talented and funny! You are not worthless, you don’t need to hide. You have a purpose. You make this world a better place.

To anyone who needed this...

I’m proud of you.

______________________________________

July 27th 2018 - Finished. 16:11pm

[thorinss]

MAKING MONEY ONLINE

hey y’all. i decided suddenly to make this post because i know it could be super helpful to people out there who might be struggling for money, or even those who just want to earn some extra cash on the side. i’ve been doing this for about 6 months and while it’s not full time or even part time work, it’s extra money that you can use for food, hobbies, gas, etc.

a lot of these sites i am about to list pay very little (we’re talking pennies or dollars) but it accumulates over time if you’re willing to keep at it. in combination these are all good sites to just leave in an open browser or tab and just do the tasks passively as they come in or as you feel like it. half the time i’m playing the sims on one monitor and earning money on my other monitor.

anyways here we go! these are in no particular order; just in the order that i think of them. i will include my referral codes but don’t feel obligated to use them!

Prolific - this one is my favorite because i have had the most success with it. there are a lot of survey sites out there that will kick you out mid-survey after you’ve already invested so much time into them because you’re “not qualified” to answer the questions. prolific is the opposite. you sign up, fill out your profile, and the surveys that fit your demographic will come to you. most of them only take a few minutes to complete but the payout is better than most other survey sites out there. the surveys come from academic researchers who use your data anonymously for studies. some days you won’t get any studies, and some days you’ll get several. you can cash out to paypal once you reach $5. keep a prolific open in a tab and it will alert you when a new study is available!

Slicethepie (non-referral link) - i discovered this one recently and it’s one of my favorites. the pay is very little; i’m only making 4c per review right now but i’m told the pay goes up the more you review. all you do is sign up and get paid to write short reviews for clothing, get paid to watch movie clips or commercials, or get paid to listen to new music (whaaaaat). it’s one of the more fun ways to make money. it takes a couple minutes and you earn a  few pennies after each one. those quickly add up!

Usertesting - this one is really good if you manage to qualify for the tests, which can be hit or miss (mostly miss in my case). it requires a microphone and being okay with recording your screen and sending the info to a company. basically, people pay you to test our their websites and make comments about it. they’ll ask you to go to their website and look for something specific, and you have to voice your thoughts about the site out loud as you look for what it is they asked for. the pay is $10 per test which is amazing, but you have to take a pre-screener test to qualify for them. overall i’ve made maybe $40 total by working passively (not every day) in the last 6 months but hey - that’s a tank of gas.

more under the cut!

rev - if you’re a fast typer, a good listener, and have some time on your hands, this is a pretty good option. rev is a transcription service, so you listen to some audio and type out what the people are saying, and then get paid for it. some of the audio is garbage which is why they pay people to transcribe it, but if you have the time you can make a few bucks. just make sure you take it seriously because if you somehow appear to be “below average” at this, they will terminate your account. the amount of transcriptions that appear varied so you just have to keep an eye out.

GG2U (non-referral link) - this one is pretty dope. sign up for free trials, install and play video games, take surveys, watch videos, and earn points. 100 points = $1. within 5 minutes of signing up i had $7. just be certain to cancel any trials before the trial period ends so you don’t get charged. 

amazon turk - not gonna lie, i have not been able to achieve this one, but i have personally seen people make hundreds and thousands on this platform. if you don’t know already, mturk is where clients post microtasks for humans to do that robots cannot yet achieve. if you are willing to put in more work than me and figure it out, check our /r/mturk or do some googling before pursuing it.

Ibotta (non-referral link) - (get a $20 welcome bonus if you use my referral and scan your first receipt) this is an app that offers cash back for shopping at the stores listed on ibotta. you buy an item from the store listed on ibotta, can your receipt into the app, and boom you get cash back.

qmee - this one makes chump change but it’s worth it. you complete surveys for some change (50c or somewhere around that) and that’s it. there’s also a browser extension; i use this more than the surveys. the extension pops up on the side of your window whenever you search something on the internet - but only if it’s something that qmee is looking for. and occasionally it offers a few pennies if you click on the link. best part is you can cash out no matter how much you’ve made. i cashed out 32c the other day lmao.

inboxdollars (non-referral link) - i don’t know if it’s just me, but this website only works on firefox for me. my chrome hates it. but anyways, this site provides very passive income. i do not recommend the surveys; they’ll have you answer a bunch of questions and you think you’re going to finish it and get the $$$, but then it kicks you out because “you’re not qualified”. the ways to earn that i like are watching videos in the TV/videos tab and playing the games in the games tab. after you watch x amount of videos or play x amount of games, you get a scratch off ticket. i usually get about 15c from them, but it’s something. when i first started i worked my way about to $50. they send you a check in the mail.

redbubble (my shitty store) - y’all know about this one already i’m sure. if you’re creative and think you can make a design for shirts and accessories, go ahead and make an account! you might make zero money, you might make a few bucks every couple months, or you might make a couple hundred. it all depends so this one is really a gamble, but still worth looking at if you’re into that sort of thing! 

crowdtap - haven’t used this one in a while but i will be getting back into it. you take surveys and answer questions for brands and receive points in return. you need to accumulate 500 points before you can begin cashing out, which will take a while. after that, you can redeem the points for gift cards to amazon/sephora/walmart/etc, use the points for a subscription service, or use the points to donate money to a charity.

swagbucks (non-referral link) - this site is wild and just like mturk, i have yet to master it, but have seen others do so. it’s another typical survey site very similar to inboxdollars listed above. you can take surveys for swagbucks (points), watch videos, use their cash back feature, etc. 

vindale research (non referral link) - similar to prolific. it’s surveys from researchers that pay a few dollars for you to answer some questions. length of survey varies. each survey generally pays aroud $1. there is also a jobs tab that gives a list of jobs in your area.

submittable - this one is a recent discovery. my first article was rejected but i’d like to share this one anyways in case someone would like to pursue it! there’s a large list of writing and art contests mainly. a lot of them don’t seem to be offering pay but the ones that do offer a huge payout if you win the competition.

cambly - if you have any type of skill in teaching other languages, being a life coach, of just have any knowledge you think you can pass along, cambly might be for you. when you sign up there are two options, be tutored or become the tutor. if you want to tutor people, you need a webcam and microphone access. my connection never worked with cambly so i have not been able to personally try it, but i have seen people make a lot of money from teaching english to little kids.

ebates (non referral link) - another cash back option every time you buy something online. or you can link your credit/debit card and use it when you buy stuff in stores. so you get money for spending money. good stuff y’all.

lionbridge & appen - these two sites are basically the same thing just different companies. this is the ONLY two sites on my list that pay hourly. i believe it’s somewhere between $9 - $12? i could be wrong. but once you sign up, apply, and get approved, you could be doing a multitude of things, inducing: translation, transcription, social media evaluation, data collection, and more. 

TIPS:

minimum requirements are internet, a computer, and a phone. if you have an extra laptop or computer that still works, set it up and let videos on inboxdollars or swagbucks run in the background. this way you are making money without even thinking about it. you could even just open the videos in another window and mute them, which is what i’m doing right now. you still get the credit for watching them but you don’t actually have to listen to them.

this is not a get rich quick and easy deal. none of these jobs are simple and you won’t be pulling in hundreds per day. it’s hard, annoying work. so don’t expect to be rolling in the dough.

if you can, create a second email for all those times you get asked to sign up for something or subscribe to a newsletter. this way your actual personal inbox isn’t getting spammed with ridiculous things you don’t care about. just check the second email once in a while to make sure no one has sent you anything important. if you choose to get email notifications for new paid surveys on whichever site, i recommend letting those go to your personal inbox so that you may see them. or use the second email and check it daily. it’s up to you!

even though these sites don’t pay a lot, when you use them all together you can get a decent amount of cash. i’ve seen people work entirely from home, pulling $1000-$2000 per month just by using sites like this. but obviously that doesn’t mean it will be the case for everybody. i do this stuff on the side and am happy with just making a few dollars per day.

if it ever feels pointless because you only earned 30c or $1 just remember this - it’s more money than you had five minutes ago. it’s something. it might not pay the bills but eventually it might buy you a coffee or sit in your savings collecting interest. however you want to use it!

CASH OUT IMMEDIATELY. as soon as you are allowed to transfer your money to paypal or wherever, do it asap. there have been times where sites will shut down or glitch out and you are unable to get back all that money you earned.

be careful with some surveys. if they seem fishy or gimmicky or are constantly offering you to sign up for a bunch of bullshit, exit immediately. it will get you nowhere.

do not use VPNs. this usually results in getting banned.

OTHER RESOURCES:

i cannot possibly list every single way to make money online because there is so much! i listed my favorites but please check out these other websites that provide even more information and opportunities. they’re the reason i know so much and have been able to earn money on the side.

down the rabbit hole you go!

r/beermoney (wiki)

r/workonline

r/flipping

the work at home wife

i hope this helps someone out there. i have a job but i don’t get enough hours so i try to make a little extra on the side utilizing all these sites. and i have bad social anxiety so anything i can do to work from the comfort of my own home is my ideal situation. as i said, you won’t make a lot of money to begin with, or even later down the line, but as i’ve repeated - it’s something. it’s $5 more than you had earlier.

again, hope this helps and please let me know if it does! and if you have any questions i can try to help you!

[just-another-fangirl-94]

Admiring From Afar

Combined Anon requests with Sebastian Stan x Reader

“I’m sick of admiring you from afar.”

“Please don’t leave me here with them.”

Warnings: None

You’ve been working as Sebastian Stan’s event coordinator for the past seven months. Basically you were in charge of the schedule to all the press events he went to such as interviews, cons, meet and greets, and etc. During that time, the two of you had grown very close to each other. He was always so sweet, kind, and funny. As much as you hated to admit it, you were falling hard for him. He made it impossible not to. You always did your best to maintain a professional relationship with him so you wouldn’t jeopardize your job. All you had to do was manage three more weeks of the press tour. It would be bitter sweet. On one hand, you’d be unable to see Sebastian, on the other hand, you would be able to get your feelings in check and move on with your life.

This week, the two of you were in San Diego for an interview and a meet and greet. Everything was set with the schedule for the day and seemed to be going smoothly. Sebastian would be arriving at any moment so you decided to take another walk around to double check that everything was in place.

You roll your eyes when you hear a few of the VIP fangirls making inappropriate remarks about him. This was the worst part of the job. Fans like this made Sebastian very uncomfortable, but being the sweetheart that he is, he always sucked it up and planted a smile on his face.

The screaming twenty-something year olds cued that Sebastian had finally arrived. They were like vultures, quickly invading what little personal space he already had. The desperation was unsettling. His eyes meet yours from the group and you shoot him a sympathetic smile. He excuses himself for a moment to make his way over to you.

“I warned you this group was going to be a little hard to handle.” You tease.

“Yeah you weren’t kidding. How long until I can leave?” He asks.

“Well since you’ve been here for a whole ten minutes, you’ve only got about eight hours and fifty minutes left.”

He groans a little before he places a fake smile back on his face and turns to the group again. Just then, another member of your team asked if they could borrow you to go over some more details. Sebastian notices that you’re about to leave him with the group of sexually frustrated fangirls and grabs your wrist.

“Please don’t leave me here with them.” He begs.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes.” You reassure him.

“Y/N what am I supposed to do they won’t let up.”

“Tell them nicely you have a girlfriend who doesn’t like sharing you.” You smile.

“That would be lying. You know I’m a sad single boy.” He teases.

“Yes, but they don’t know that. Just make someone up.” You say. “I’ll be back in ten minutes I promise.”

Sebastian looked relieved when you came back as you promised. You told everyone to go find their seats since the Q&A would be starting soon. As the pouting fangirls left, Sebastian collapsed dramatically on the couch.

“Hey no time for naps now, I don’t have that written in the schedule.” You smile as you sit next to him.

“Yeah is there anything in your schedule that says I can run away screaming down the street? Because I feel like that should happen.” He says.

“You already did that on Instagram a few days ago. Don’t you remember? Now get your butt up. You’re on stage in a few minutes.”

“You’re bossy today. I kinda like it.” He says winking at you.

You try to look down to hide your blushing face. “Yeah, well don’t get used to it. You only have to listen to me for three more weeks.”

His smile fell from his face. It almost looked like he had disappointment in his eyes. Before you could ask if he was okay, he put a smile back on his face before he stood up. “Guess I better get my ass out there then.” He says before he walks out of the room.

The rest of the day seems to fly by surprisingly. After the last fans got their picture and autographs, you started to wrap everything up. Sebastian looked exhausted, but grateful that so many fans made him feel so good today. It was times like this that made everything he went through worth it. He walks up to you after the last of the fans left, leaving just the even crew cleaning up.

“So am I free to go, boss?” He asks.

You playfully roll your eyes at his nickname. “You’re free as a bird. Go get some rest.”  

“What about you?” He asks.

“I’ll be leaving soon. Just want to make sure nothing is forgotten.”

“I’ll wait. Let’s go have a drink after. I need it.” He says.

“I thought you were exhausted?”

“I am, but I’m also really wired. I need to unwind for a bit. So come on have a drink with me. Please?” He asks with the puppy dog eyes. You’d be damned if you could say no to those.

“I’ll be ten minutes tops.” You smile.

After making sure everything was finished, you walk over to where Sebastian was sitting. He was staring off into space, looking like he was thinking about something serious.

“Hey, everything okay?” You ask.

“Yeah. Sorry. You ready to go?” He asks.

“Ready if you are.” You smile.

Sebastian remained silent for a while. You tried not to push him too much to talk knowing that he was probably just exhausted from today’s events. After a drink, he started to relax a little more and the two of you made conversation.

“So when our three weeks is up, what then?” Sebastian asks.

“Well I’ll be heading back to NYC like you. Then I’m not sure.” You shrug. “I’m not worried though. I’m sure they’ll have me back to work in no time.”

Sebastian throws back his drink before placing the glass on the table. “I want to ask you something, but I’m afraid it’s going to make things weird between us.”

Curiosity flowed through your thoughts, what could he mean? “Sebastian you can tell me anything I swear.”

“Okay.” He takes a deep breath. “I have feelings for you.”

“What?” Did you hear him right?

“Yeah, I know it’s probably not the best situation given we work very closely together. However I couldn’t forgive myself for not asking to have a shot with you.” He says.

You remain silent for a moment trying to come up with the words to say back to him.

“Listen, if I made things weird I’m so sorry that wasn’t my intention. I shouldn’t have said anything, I’m so sorry.” He rambles.

“Sebastian it’s not that. You just kinda caught me off guard.” You say. “I have feelings for you too.”

His eyes light up at your words. “Yeah?”

“Yeah I do, but I still work for you. It’s not a good idea to do anything right now. Especially with the rest of the press tour going on.” You say sadly.

“What about after the press tour?” He pushes. “Then we won’t be working together anymore.”

He was right. Once the press tour was over your contract would be up with him. You’d kick yourself forever if you didn’t take this shot. “Well, we’ve waited seven months. What’s three more weeks?” You smile.

“Three weeks feels like forever from now.” He smiles. “Looking forward to it.”

“Me too.”

The rest of the tour was going by excruciatingly long. You and Sebastian promised to hold off on dating, or even talking about dating until after the tour was over. However, you both would steal glances at each other when you could. He’d throw you a wink once in a while causing you to blush. It was near impossible trying to concentrate when we was being so adorable. He made your heart soar every time he even smiled at you.

After another day filled with interviews and screaming fans it was good to collapse on the bed in your hotel room. You rolled over, grabbed your phone, and opened the calendar app. Only ten more days of the tour left, you thought to yourself. It couldn’t get here soon enough. Just then, a notification popped up on your phone from Sebastian. Smiling to yourself you read the message.

“Only ten days left. :)”

You smile and text back. “That’s still too long :(.”

“I know I’m sick of admiring you from afar. Sleep well xoxo.”

Sighing contently, you place your phone on the nightstand and drift off to sleep, dreaming of Sebastian all night.

Finally, the last day of the press tour was over. It was bitter sweet, but you couldn’t be more excited for your date with Sebastian. The two of you were already back in NYC because he had back-to-back interviews with several talk show hosts. As you were saying goodbye to the rest of the crew, Sebastian made his way over to you.

“What are you doing tomorrow night?” He asks.

“My schedule is wide open now.” You smile.

“Have dinner with me?”

“I thought you would never ask.” You tease.

The date was everything you expected to be and more. The first thing he did when he arrived at your door that night was kiss you with everything he had in him. You were taken back by it at first, but quickly melted into the kiss.

The two of you ended up going on several dates that week, enjoying every moment you spent with each other. By date number six he asked you officially to be his girlfriend. Of course, you couldn’t refuse.

[artificialqueens]

Pink Sandcastles Pt. 2 of 2 (Trixya) - VonChoke

Summary: Trixie Mattel is a popular YouTube travel vlogger. When she receives an invitation to stay at a resort at La Union, Philippines, she had no idea that this particular trip would help her find out what home really means.

*She’s complete!!!*

Read part 1 on Tumblr Read part 1 on AO3

“Let me get this straight,” Kim said testily on the other side of Trixie’s laptop screen the next morning. Today she had white highlighting foundation that she has not yet blended in due to Trixie’s timely interruption again. “You were invited to La Union to review the beach and the resort there, but the real reason was Katya used her resort to lure you there and get closer to you?”

“Seems like it,” Trixie huffed.

“But you just found out last night from a comment on one of Katya’s IG pics that she’s in a relationship with, your words, a gorgeous, skinny burlesque star?”

“Exactly.”

“And how did you discover this?”

“I was checking Instagram on my way back from the bathroom and the first thing I saw was Katya’s newest post. Then I read someone named Violet Chachki commented ‘miss those hands on me babe’ on it and… ugh.”

“What fucking rom-com shit are you living in?”

“Goddamnit I know right!” she almost yelled, burying her face on her hands. “I didn’t even know she was flirting with me since VidCon and I don’t know if I might have accidentally flirted back!”

Kim snorted. “You dense idiot,” she said. There was a beat of silence and then, “So what are you going to do about it?” Another pause. “Have you guys talked yet?”

Trixie sighed, brushing back a pink strand away from her mouth. “Not yet.” As she said it, a notification lit up her phone’s screen. It was one of eight she has not replied to yet. “Katya’s uh… inviting me to brunch. She said she’s serving pancakes and a full explanation.”

Hopefully the whole story instead of the basic gist she was served last night; After Katya’s quiet confession that she was in a long distance relationship with another (way more gorgeous) person, Trixie felt completely embarrassed for believing she was getting to the big time for having someone personally invite her, all expenses paid, to another country for a free stay at their resort because she delivered quality YouTube content. Looking around at the silent group around her, she felt deeply mortified that they probably knew that Katya had taken a huge amount of effort to basically get some pussy. She wasn’t even someone worth seducing, what the hell? Her pride in her work was hurt so she quickly faked an upset stomach, excused herself, and ran back to her room.

“I really don’t know what to do, Kim,” she groaned.

“Well,” Kim said slowly. “How do you feel about Katya?”

Trixie dug deep into her mind. She and Katya well… clicked. Like two hurricanes merging into one destructive force. She does like Katya as a friend, but realizes that she knows nothing else behind the macabre and filthy humor and wide smile. Come to think of it, what sort of place does the dark humor come from?

“I… care for her,” Trixie finally said. “As a great friend. Other than that, I don’t know anything else about her. We don’t talk much about our past. Because when we’re together, it’s like… nothing else matters? I don’t even think about my own shit. I forget everything and only enjoy my time with her.” She locked eyes with Kim. “That’s weird, isn’t it?”

“Ehhhh yeah,” said Kim. “But that’s probably a good place to start.”

“I’m going to meet her for brunch, aren’t I?” Trixie said, looking lost. “Because I really don’t know what else to do.”

“Come up with a list,” the Asian girl prompted whenever a friend needed direction. “Three things.”

“Okay,” Trixie breathed, sitting up. “One, talk to Katya. Two, decide what to do from there. And three… Oh right fuck. Vlog.”

“That’s a plan.” Kim smiled.

“It’s a plan. Thanks Kim, I’ll see you around.”

After disconnecting the call, Trixie sat back on her chair and allowed her mind to wander out the window. What exactly does she want with Katya? She wasn’t even sure if she wanted a relationship right now with all the traveling she’s planning on doing. During the day, she can freely say that she is self-sufficient and can hold her own without anyone by her side.

But midnight is a different story. Whenever Trixie lays on her pillow to sleep, her caged heart roams free. Like any other lonely person, they’ll never admit that she secretly cries out for a companion and longs to relate to love songs. The yearning filled her with agony sometimes, but she bears with it as she knows it’ll pass the moment she falls asleep. When she goes on through her day, Trixie no longer takes the time to dwell on wanting a romantic partner. Her desire of having someone to kiss and to take care of are buried under a modern day woman’s sensibilities.

She can do this. She’s old enough to know what she wants and which of Katya’s bullshit she’s not willing to put up with.

—————————

“Salamat po,” Trixie quietly thanked the waiter in Tagalog, something Jiggly taught her last night, for laying out her breakfast plate and orange juice in front of her. Across her, Katya had a coffee, a fluffy pastry, an orange, and a cigarette. She too looked anxious.

Trixie ate quietly, using the food as an excuse not to talk first. She didn’t make eye contact, instead looked out to the view of the ocean. When a breeze picked up, she tucked her hair behind her ear.

“I really like your hair,” Katya finally said, getting her attention. Smiling, she added, “It’s like catnip for pussies.”

That seemed to break the ice wall between them. Trixie stared at her for a second in bewilderment and let out a snort and giggle of amusement. She did get a lot of lesbian attention online for her hair. In return, Katya laughed with relief at the reaction and let herself relax. She can do this.

“So… I owe you an apology. I guess wasn’t honest with you in the beginning,” she said.

“Really, you guess?”

“Shut up, Toby, let me be real for once,” Katya said, smirking. Continuing, she stared at a point above her as she gathered her words succinctly. “I… was already interested after we met at VidCon. I wanted to keep what we had going but I didn’t because life happened.”

She waved a hand at the building behind her. “The resort opened and I became extremely busy. Then when I watched your latest Japan vlog, I thought you looked so beautiful and happy and… I kind of missed you? Then I talked to Sasha, we thought that I should invite you here to Elyu so we could… talk more and the rest was history.”

Trixie nodded. Time for her to speak. “I guess I was… hurt. And embarrassed.” To Katya’s subtle questioning expression, she carried on in softer tones. “I thought you invited me here because I make great travel vlogs and wanted the best for your resort.”

“Oh mama, you are the best,” said Katya sincerely as she leaned forward. “I checked out all your videos after we met at VidCon and those are the five pinkest hours of my life I cannot get back.” She was relieved when Trixie let out a trill of giggles. “I’m really sorry for embarrassing you. That wasn’t my intention. I thought this was going to be a great way of getting to know you better but yeah, that was probably a dumb idea.”

“Not entirely,” Trixie said. She looked out to the ocean sparkling under the sun and the carefree shouts of other tourists and breathed it all in. She felt the distance from her drafty little apartment in Chicago stretch all the way here, a sunny and spacious bliss while sitting across a woman who found her weirdness worth the effort to be around.

She held her breath before letting out, “And Violet?”

Lowering her cigarette, Katya gave a small sad smile. “She was on vacation here when we met. It’s an open relationship because she’s always on tour with her troupe and I’m just here. I thought was okay in the beginning because I’m like seven different shades of fucked up and wasn’t sure I could fully commit. Now I don’t know if I should let her go or stay with her cause it was my fucking idea in the first place to ask for more. And god, there were the drugs…”

“Drugs?” This was the first time Trixie heard Katya talk seriously about drugs. She mostly chalked it to her dark humor and never thought it came from a real, scary place. “Oh wow, I didn’t know. I’m sorry I thought you’ve only been joking about those.”

“I wasn’t joking, bitch,” Katya laughed without humor and began peeling her orange. “Although… I do hate being serious all the time. I can’t take life too seriously anymore, otherwise I get sucked back in to the dark.”

“Oh yeah I totally get it. Joking as a coping mechanism. Oh honey, did you have an abusive step-dad too?” Trixie said in her driest tone.

Katya’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, looking as though she didn’t know whether to laugh or not. “W-well, no. I was raised by a team of greasy Taco Bell employees who took me in when I was young,” she said seriously.

“What?” Trixie gaped. How did that even happ—oh, she was kidding. She glared at Katya wheezing in laughter and slapping her knee. “You bitch, I almost believed that,” she cried out, joining her in the hilarity.

“Hidden talent,” Katya cackled. “I swear I am able to drop into the pain of my personal experiences so effortlessly that allows people to believe in my bullshit.”

“Now I’m doubting this entire conversation,” Trixie sniffed before Katya quickly shook her head and sobered up.

“Oh no no, I’m not. Sorry, that’s on me. I need to say something stupid before I get into any serious topics.” She cleared her throat before speaking again. “I’m sorry you had to go through… that. Are you good now?”

Trixie leaned back into her chair and nodded, drawing her eyes downwards. “Yeah, I’m good. I don’t talk about him anymore.” She sighed, letting the moment breathe before bringing the topic back on track. “So, uh… Violet.”

“Right, yeah, Violet,” Katya sadly said. Steeling herself, she continued, “So I thought I was okay with the distance because I believed that Violet didn’t deserve me, didn’t deserve that, didn’t deserve to deal with my problems on top of her touring schedule, airport drama, hotel conflama…”

“So why were you hitting on me then? Why are you still together?” Trixie made an effort to keep her voice steady. Her heart was already smarting for being in the position of ‘second choice’.

“I don’t know. I guess cause you’re you,” Katya said. There was a screwed up expression on her face as she battled her frustrations. “You get my psycho humor. I fall over from your wit. I like who I am around you. And… I’m still with Vi because I’m a fucking coward.

“Do you see the irony, Trix? I hate myself and believe that she doesn’t deserve me, yet I’m still with her because of the stupid fucking hope that she doesn’t see me the same way I see myself.” She drew a breath before continuing, “Would you honestly have given me a chance if I wasn’t with her?” She made a move to grasp Trixie’s hand in sincerity but the younger girl pulled away, frowning. It wasn’t fair that the ball was in her court now.

“Katya, I don’t think you should break it off with Violet just for me if you still want to stay with her,” Trixie slowly said, acknowledging the disappointed expression on Katya’s face. “Plus, I’m only getting to know you a little better now, so I can’t say yet.”

“You’re right.” Katya nodded in understanding, leaning back and sucking on her cigarette. “I’ve been a fucking idiot about this whole thing.”

“Absolutely, yeah.” Trixie’s familiar dry tone was back and it brought a smile to Katya’s face. “Inviting me to a beautiful tropical paradise to seduce the panties off me.” She shrugged. “I’ve had worst dates.”

“I have some work to be done today, but I’ll make it up to you tonight. And I can take you sightseeing tomorrow,” said Katya, sipping her coffee. “So, friends?” She tilted her chin up as she held out her cup. Trixie picked up her half full glass and clinked it.

“Friends.” It was a clean slate to start off from and that she can manage.

—————————

The rest of Trixie’s day was spent outside with camera work where she took more aerial shots of the beach with her drone and the gorgeous people surfing the ocean. She got into work mode as she checked if her “light” and “natural” makeup was still in place to give an on-camera narrative of the authentic and cultured peaceful ambiance of Elyu. She also made sure to get some playful shots for her Instagram Stories.

On her itinerary was to visit and feature Phi Phi’s speakeasy bar on her vlog. While the sun was setting, she made sure to get shots of the tasteful artwork hanging on the walls and interviewed Phi Phi about her collections.

“I love collecting artworks that were made by visitors here at Elyu. Take a look at this. It’s my newest piece. Sasha made it,” said Phi Phi, pointing out a contemporary graphic design of a crown, red lips, and a unibrow. To its right, an abstract piece composed of turquoise, bronze, and gold brush strokes hung near the door. “That one was made by Katya. She said she was inspired by the view of the sea from her office and how it helped relieve some of her anxiety.”

Trixie aimed her camera at the paintings. Through the lens, she stared hard as though hoping to learn something new about the way Katya’s mind worked. She thought she discerned a hopeful beauty and some sort of sadness from the colors and the strokes.

Next she visited Ongina’s place, a small eatery that served a variety of Filipino dishes. Taking the vegetarian option, Trixie dined on sweet and savory marinated fried tofu with green beans. She washed it down with a soda while taking down notes about the place.

“So, have you and Katya talked yet?” Ongina said, leaning her forearms on the counter.

Trixie quirked an eyebrow. “Why is everybody bringing up Katya today?” she said. Ongina shrugged.

“You girls seem close. It would be a shame if your friendship got permanently ruined after last night,” she said while wiping down the bar counter and taking away Trixie’s clean plate. “And it’s nice seeing her in a different mood that wasn’t lovable bitch.”

“So what the hell is she now?” said Trixie after another bubbly sip.

“Still a lovable bitch, but we don’t want to punch her this time,” Ongina said breezily. The pink haired vlogger squawked gracelessly.

Lastly, Trixie took up Jiggly’s offer of a tour of her brightly colored hostel. It was simple in its accommodations yet a favorite for bigger groups that came to visit for its rustic bunk beds and kitschy wall decors. As Jiggly gestured her arms dramatically towards the building, she declared, “Do you know who stayed here for months the first time she was here?”

Trixie snorted. “If the answer is Katya, I’m leaving,” she said dryly. Jiggly was taken aback and dropped her arms. Trixie was about to regret her sass when the hostel owner burst into booming laughter.

“H-how did you know?” she squealed. Trixie grinned apologetically.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude… It’s just that everyone has mentioned her name to me so many times today, I’m starting to get a little suspicious,” she said sheepishly. Jiggly got around to coughing herself into composure and smiled a little guiltily.

“Have we been that obvious?” she asked a little meekly, patting her long straight hair into place.

Trixie nodded. She turned away to look at the hostel with the intention to hide her smirk from Jiggly. She didn’t want to give her and the other girls the satisfaction of knowing that their big plan to keep Katya fresh in Trixie’s mind all day kind of fucking worked.

—————————

The sun had long given away its stunning strokes of orange and yellows clouds, setting a blanket of dusky purple and blue over the beach. Katya had invited Trixie out to a post-dinner walk along the dimly lit beach. It was peaceful, Trixie had thought. Her bare toes enjoyed the feel of the fine sand, something she was not able to tolerate under the heat. There was something to be said about connecting with nature by listening to the waves move in its natural that could melt away the city stress. She glanced sideways at Katya’s profile, admiring the shape of her nose and how her skin looked luminous among the smoke of her cigarette escaping from red lips. It was quite the vision Trixie wanted to capture for her own self and never release such beauty to the world. She contemplated how some people compare themselves to the sun, fiery and outgoing, and how their veiled eyes see the other as the quiet beauty of the moon.

The sea and the sky kissed and blew out a cold breeze that smelled of the salty ocean. Trixie shivered.

“Aren’t you cold?” she asked.

“No ma’am. I always stay warm from the fire in my pussy,” Katya replied, grinning proudly around her stick. This earned a Trixie-screech that scandalously broke the tranquil air. There was a beat of silence after she had composed herself that Katya eventually ended.

“Trixie,” she began. “You know why I stayed here?”

“Why?”

“Three years ago, I spent almost all of my savings to check myself into rehab. I had a psychotic mental breakdown that my own parents had to call the police on me because I was running buttfuck naked out of the house.” There was a solemnity in the way Katya spoke about this that Trixie had to stare, wondering if the woman was dead serious or not again.

Katya then opened up about her struggle with drug addiction to a length that she had to light up another cigarette. Trixie held on to every word, determined to better understand her history. Rehab was successful, although the relapses never went away, they were easier to manage.

“So when I got here, it was so different from the city and the suburbs and for the first time in fucking history… My mind went quiet.” She gestured a flatline across her forehead before turning to Trixie. “Have you ever been to a place, in all of your travels, where it felt like all the noise just goes away?”

Trixie smiled with nostalgia. Blue and white villages came to her mind as she remembered the smell of warm flaky pies in the afternoon. “Yeah… It was my third trip, I think. Greece. Like I took off my earphones because I didn’t need the music to stop the noise in my head.”

“I never intended to hang around for long,” Katya continued as she nodded, inhaling her stick. “But I met Karl and Sasha, and we struck a deal together. Made it work. I invested in a share of the resort and it felt like I had purpose again. Also, the locals here? Oh mama, they know how to live life properly.” Trixie nodded silently. She could tell Katya was off to a long ramble by the way her hands began to gesture wildly to punctuate and to emphasize. She found herself not wanting to cease the stream of its course.

“But what I absolutely loved was the people that came to this place. I love the stories they told, I love talking to people, did you know that? Oh my god, the things they’ve seen, all their dreams and fears and shit…

“And then they leave. It’s like reading an anthology. I provided strangers an ear or advice. Sometimes I couldn’t help them and that’s a-okay. It’s like… I get to be the fixed point in their journey where I get to answer some lifelong questions. There were so many lives I learned about—remind me to tell you about Craig, he’s the bestest when it comes to movies—and it’s fucking redonkulous how everything we want in life is rooted to just wanting to be loved. Like in all our searching, the meaning of life comes from each other.”

Trixie folded her arms in contemplation. If travel taught her anything, the most memorable places weren’t about the sights or the food, it was about how open the locals were to connecting with foreigners.

Katya sighed. “And yet, I’m just here.” She waved a vague hand over the beach. “I’ve been here for a long while now and sometimes I feel lost myself. Or cut off from the rest of the world.” She grabbed Trixie’s hand and looked at her straight in the eye. “I’m sorry again for not telling you why I wanted you here. The loneliness was becoming unbearable and everything was empty and my head was becoming chaotic… I think that’s why I contacted you.”

“Maybe you need a new home?” suggested Trixie.

“I think I’ll find home on my own terms,” Katya replied softly.

Trixie frowned in confusion over Katya’s choice of words. What did she mean to ‘find home in her own terms’? In all of her travels, all the places she has visited and documented, has she ever found what home really means? Yet there was something familiar with Katya, in her words, in the scene she described here on the beach, looking out to the horizon—

“BITCH!” Trixie shrieked all of a sudden, stopping her tracks and startling Katya. “WAS THAT CONVERSATION ABOUT THE ‘CONTACT’ BEACH SCENE?!”

She received confirmation when Katya doubled over and began rolling over the sand in soundless laughter, nodding in glee. Trixie stomped away before she could wrap her fingers around her friend’s throat. She yelled that she was going back to her room, leaving Katya to pick herself up when she was done. She wanted to believe that Katya was bullshitting about everything, doubt her sincerity, but deep inside she understood. The search for love is life’s greatest trial that many leave messages to the universe, hoping to hear that they aren’t meant to be alone forever.

Trixie turned to look back the same moment Katya did. It could have been a passing nanosecond fancy, but Trixie swore to the stars above that she felt the phrase “I’m falling for Katya” shake her core. It was a strange feeling, she imagined, to experience a possible concept transition into powerful words. And it made the whole situation scarier now as it was one step closer to solidifying into reality.

She waited for the sense of hopeless despair she usually felt when she catches feelings for someone, but it never came. Instead she felt a glow filling her chest, a thrill that zipped through her nerves and made her gasp softly in surprise at how quick these sensations engulfed her. How does one stand by the ocean and feel like drowning? How does falling for someone feel like flying?

Their eye contact was broken by Katya sheepishly looking away, as though she had realized she had been staring too much. She lit up another cigarette.

“Your an idiot,” Trixie finally said into the silence.

“Yes and?” said Katya, smiling a little.

“And I said ‘you’re’ without the apostrophe r e.”

Katya gasped, eyes sparkling once again in mirth. “You take that back, you uncultured, illiterate, wretched heathen!”

Trixie began to walk back to the direction of the resort, calling over her shoulder with a playful laugh, “You deserve it!”

“I can’t even look at you right now,” Katya hollered, following her footsteps. “How dare yo—this changes everything I feel about you.” Trixie stopped in her tracks and so did her heart. She arched an eyebrow until Katya caught up with her.

“And how exactly do you feel about me?”

Katya blew out a cloud of smoke, appraising her friend for a beat while smirking. Trixie momentarily glanced at her rose red lips that doesn’t blossom open as much as it caterwauled inelegantly throughout the open space that probably needs to be ticketed for disturbing the peace. She could feel the anticipation stretching out, wondering what Katya was going to admit to her under the moon and stars… until the bitch simply winked and sashayed away.

The next morning, Trixie woke up early to catch Vivienne’s surfing lessons. It was a struggle to get out of bed that Trixie had to remind herself that her surfing lesson was also for the vlog. She grabbed her camera that was on her bed side, turned it on, and grumbled into it.

“Hey guys, it’s five in the morning and I have a surfing lesson today.” She rubbed her bleary eyes. “If you like watching me fail at stuff, keep watching because this might be my last video before I drown myself. Or get snacked on by a shark, whichever comes first.”

She turned off the camera and got up. She stretches hard before slowly encasing herself in a long sleeved blue and pink wetsuit that cut off inches above the knee over her swimwear. She met Vivienne right outside the resort, who energetically waved at her in contrast to Trixie’s sleep fuzzy brain. Her wild wavy black hair was tied up in a high bun and Trixie’s brain seemed to jolt awake up at the view of her abs above a pair of black shorts that covered half of her thick thighs. Good morning indeed.

Three hours later of learning the basics and trying to balance on the surfboard, the sun rays were soft and beautiful over the sparkling water and Vivienne’s morena skin. The teacher and student now sat on a low stone barrier facing the shore as Trixie was catching her breath from the session.

She unstrapped the camera from her surfboard. “I had just finished my first surfing lesson here with Vivienne, who is the most patient and wonderful woman to ever teach my ungraceful, clumsy ass,” Trixie said into it. Vivienne waved and smiled as Trixie affectionately laid her stringy wet head on her shoulder.

“She was a natural,” Vivienne said.

“Am I?”

“At wiping out.”

“Bitch,” Trixie laughed. She then gave a narrative of her first time on the board, how she was worried about slipping and hitting her head underwater, and how much fun she had learning despite catching not a single wave. She jumped off the stone barrier to focus her camera for a gratuitous shot of Vivienne’s enviable curves and abs, which she thought deserved a whole post of its own. Vivienne modestly giggled at the attention. Trixie was about to launch into a litany of worship of Vivienne’s hard work when a pair of wide gray eyes suddenly filled the frame. Trixie jumped back with a surprised yelp. “Katya!”

“Morning! I was watching you whores all morning,” she cackled. She was wearing her sunglasses on her head, black shorts, and a red floral silk shirt that had the sleeves folded up to the bicep and the front casually unbuttoned only halfway through, exposing bare cleavage. To cap off Trixie’s raging lesbian fantasies, Katya had her shirt in a French tuck and a motorcycle helmet dangling off her hand. Trixie gaped. The sight was all together stunning and was all too much for one morning.

Vivienne eventually broke the staring contest with laughter and hopped down the barrier to cheek kiss Katya. She gave Katya’s outfit a one over, checked Trixie’s reaction, and winked at the blonde before enveloping Trixie in a proud hug. “I’ll see you girls later! You did a good job today, Trixie.”

“T-thanks Vivienne!” Trixie said, returning the hug and waved as she walked away, picking up Trixie’s rented surfboard along the way. That view was looking good too.

“So,” Katya coughed. “How was it?”

“Hmm? Oh! It was great! I mean I wasn’t that great, but I had fun,” Trixie said in a giddy rush, glancing back at Katya.

There was something sexy about feeling the rush of adrenaline in the early morning and being under the control of someone very attractive in something as temperamental as the ocean. Looking into Katya’s eyes, aglow with the morning rays of light, filled her heart with something that felt like promise and care. Emboldened by her own high spirits, Trixie held eye contact while she unzipped her wetsuit to reveal underneath a green and white polka dotted bikini with a high waist bottom that accentuated her hips. With her pink hair, it was a whole watermelon fantasy and Katya’s raised eyebrows and unbridled smile was the cherry on top. As Trixie walked back to the resort, she called over her shoulder and extended her hand, “Are you coming for breakfast?”

Between two potential lovers, it’s most often that the palms kiss first before the lips do. It was as if Trixie had held out a magnet, and Katya’s own body responded like it were cold hard steel. Her feet quickly shuffled forward as her arm immediately extended to accept the invitation of Trixie’s hand. Both girls discreetly blushed at the new words their bodies just learned and intertwined their fingers together. And neither had let up until they got to their breakfast table.

————

Trixie sighed before sipping her late night cup of coffee at Velour’s. The sun had set, the beach’s nightlife was awake, and here she was waiting for Sasha to finish helping her staff with a large order so she could talk. Tonight, Sasha was wearing glitter red lipstick, an artful eyeshadow, and fake freckles across her nose. The whole look seemed to brighten up the ambiance of the cafe.

“What’s the occasion?” Trixie asked, nodding at the patterned outfit appreciatively as Sasha gracefully took a seat across hers.

“Art gallery viewing at Phi Phi’s. The gallery is called ‘Press and Play: Movement in Flow’. Would you like to come? I’m also hoping to meet potential business partners to expand the cafe,” Sasha replied. Even the way she crossed her legs were elegant. Trixie shook her head in regret.

“I can’t. I have to work on the vlog before I leave tomorrow, see if there’s a scene I might have forgotten to shoot,” she said.

“That’s right, it’s your last night here,” Sasha said in somber tones. “So what did you do today? Vivi told me you went surfing this morning.”

Trixie lit up as she recounted the rest of her day; Katya had taken her on a historical sightseeing tour via her motorcycle. As she spoke of the old churches and an old watch tower leftover from the Spanish occupation era, memories of tightly clinging to Katya’s midsection as the latter’s motorcycle zoomed down almost empty roads surfaced to her mind’s forefront. While she was describing the grape field Katya took her to, she thought of the way the light dappled on the older woman’s face underneath the grape vine leaves and forced her to stop moving so she could take a photo. When she told Sasha about the delicious dinner they had of burgers (hers a vegetarian option) and iced tea on the second floor of a beach front restaurant, all she could think about was how the sound of the waves crashing became the soundtrack of Katya’s wildest life stories, ranging from serious topics about her battle with drug abuse to the nasty and hilarious one of how she had once shat on her friend Courtney’s bed.

She remembered how she had wanted to hold Katya’s hand again while they were walking but chickened out, so she compensated by leaning her head on her shoulder while they rested. Or she swears that Katya had been staring because when she looked back, Katya quickly turned her head to the other direction. She recalled shivering whenever Katya leaned in closely to whisper something in her ear.

This woman had no shame in her being. Her unfiltered words, her animated expressions with her freedom to be. It enamored Trixie. Like the ocean they were facing, she felt unlimited. In that moment, she believed that a lot of things didn’t matter anymore just as long Katya kept her eyes bright with her enthusiasm of discussing whatever topic came to her head.

“Trixie?” Sasha punctured her thoughts. “Trixie, are you okay?”

“I think I like her,” Trixie said simply after a long pause. Sasha raised her eyebrows and her mouth fell open in delight.

“Do you really?” she gushed.

“I do.” Trixie smiled bashfully, glancing at Sasha’s little head tilt of interest.

“Have you told Katya that?” she said, chuckling.

Trixie nodded. “I did. She was talking about… God, I can’t remember now… But it was about something and she was stuttering like an idiot, trying to get her words right and… I just laughed. And when she asked what was I laughing at, I was like ‘Nothing, I just really like you.’”

Sasha gave a little gleeful gasp and a grin that stretched all the way across her face. “And then what did she say??”

Trixie shrugged, grinning. “She looked shocked, then happy. Like really happy.”

“Sooo what happens now?” Sasha prompted. She delicately laid her chin on the back of her hand and patiently waited for an answer. Trixie huffed, glancing at the shore as though hoping the answer to that would walk by.

“I don’t know…” she sighed. “Whatever I say to her, it’s not going to change the fact that I’m leaving tomorrow. Plus, she’s still with Violet so it’s not like my feelings are going to matter, doesn’t it?”

“Oh I think it will. Where is Katya anyway?”

“Her office. Said she had some business to get done first,” said Trixie. She finished the last sip of her coffee and was about to take out her wallet to pay when Sasha waved it off.

“On the house,” she said, smirking at Trixie’s surprise. “It’s your last night here and you’ve made my friend very happy these past few days. Just promise me one thing.”

“What is it?”

“Tell Katya your truth.”

Trixie sighed. “But I’m not sure what is the truth…” she said. Sasha waved a finger.

“No. Not the truth,” she repeated. “Your truth.”

———

It was nearing midnight. The rest of her evening had been spent answering emails and sorting through her pictures and videos from the time she left the airport to the latest ones she took earlier today. She organized them by day and sub-labeled them by activity, knowing full well that if she did this after she got home, she’d be too exhausted to even start it. For the first time in her travel history, she made a new folder for one person.

Trixie rubbed her eyes from underneath her glasses. She knew she had snapped Katya in more artful shots, but she hadn’t realize just how much she took all in all. There was one from her first night with Katya’s other friends drinking, and she used the light nearby to give Katya an almost noir look with the wispy cigarette between her fingers. Scrolling down, she perused a goofy one of Katya; jaw wide open in mid-shriek and her eyes squinted close. She forgot the joke that was said but she can almost hear the breathless wheezing laughter coming from the picture.

The last one took her breath away, the one from the grape field. The shadows of the leaves played around her face and to her chest as her lips were closed around a grape. Trixie shook her head, trying to fight off her bubbling feelings for the woman she was going to leave tomorrow.

It was truly better off they stay friends, Trixie was thinking. The spaces in her mind cautiously played out a daydream, one where she imagined being Katya’s girlfriend, holding hands with her and traveling the world together. It was a pleasant feeling, knowing that someone will always be there to fly alongside with her. But the moment she imagined kissing Katya, she could feel herself flush and quickly shut the daydream down. It was way too good. Reality was going to be a bitch to face had she let it play out.

Trixie heard knocking on her door. Her gut already told her who was on the other side as she swung the door open. She was right.

“Hi. Can I come in?” Katya asked softly, hands tucked inside the pockets of her shorts. Trixie blinked. The first thing that drew her eyes in was the way Katya’s red lipstick framed her slightly open mouth. Next she noticed how her dark, smoky eyes lined a beseeching expression that was cautiously asking to be let in. She was still wearing her mouth-watering casual clothes from earlier and her dirty blonde hair seemed as though a hand had ran through it several times. Trixie minutely chased the thoughts away and opened the door wider to let her in.

The room was a little tossed up with most of her electronic and camera gear on the desk and half folded clothes and shoes on the bed. A hot pink empty suitcase sat nearby the window. Trixie apologized for the mess and quickly straightened up her things, explaining that she had been meaning to pack but needed to work while she was still inspired. Katya silently nodded as she sank down to sit on the edge of the bed, eyes darting around the corners of the room. Once she was done fixing, Trixie leaned against the table with her arms lightly folded over the pink with white “TRAVEL BARBIE” lettering cropped hoodie she was wearing. Both women said nothing. There was a new charged energy in the room, an anticipation as thick as molasses. It was possible that something could happen in the next five minutes, and Trixie couldn’t find the right words to break the tension.

“Trixie—”

“Katya—”

The both giggled. “You first,” Trixie said, smiling.

“Right, here I go.” Katya returned the smile quickly before huffing out a breath. “I just… want to thank you for accepting my invitation in the beginning. Sorry I was weird and I hope you still had a comfortable stay at my resort. If there’s anything else I can help you with, I’d be glad to do it for you.” Trixie nodded, her expression serious.

“I had a really great time here, despite being seduced by a Sugar Mommy. I’ll send you my therapy bills, you fucking cougar,” she quipped dryly, causing Katya to squint in breathless laughter and to flail her legs over the bed. “You are like, what? 57?”

“That fucking pink hair—I knew you didn’t strike me as the type who, you know, actually works hard for her money,” Katya wheezed through her laughter. Trixie’s mouth dropped in fake outrage.

“Oh bitch excuse me, I built my vlog with hard work. But if I wanted a Sugar Mommy to pay for everything, I could’ve gotten one.”

“Because you are what? Poor.” A teasing grin splayed across Katya’s face. Trixie felt the shade dive deep all the way to her childhood in rural Milwaukee and shrieked in laughter. Katya then rolled around the bed to her favorite sound and bizarrely ended up in a pose with one leg stretched in to the air. They felt more at ease now with humor introduced into the serious conversation.

Then Katya decided to stab the atmosphere with her own knife. “Oh and by the way I also broke up with Violet.”

“You what?!” Trixie gasped, her laugh halting to a screeching stop. Of all the dumb decisions—

“It’s okay, it’s okay!” Katya said quickly, sitting back up on the bed. “I Skyped her awhile ago and we talked for hours. I told her the truth and… well, she wasn’t happy with it.” Trixie meant to interrupt but Katya held out both her hands. “But-but she also couldn’t promise me when she’s coming back home here. Or I’m not sure if she wants to call this place a home… Do you know how hard it is to buy rhinestones in this country?” She snorted humorlessly. Trixie shook her head, but deep inside she understood what Katya was implying. Based on their conversation the night before, she realized she was looking for a place to call home too. And she wasn’t talking about four walls and a roof.

“But Katya… I’m leaving too,” Trixie said almost angrily. Why did Katya have to love those who has to leave her? It wasn’t fair. She folded her arms again. “I don’t know if I can come back here. Or if you can even leave your resort.” Or, Trixie didn’t want to verbalize, if she could manage her travel vlog career from a different country just to be with Katya. It was her greatest passion and she would not give it up that easily. Traveling made her whole and she wanted to be a complete being for whoever she will give her heart to.

“I know, I know,” Katya said, grinning mischievously that, Trixie had learned, preceded a heartfelt comment. It was her defense mechanism in play when she was about to reveal a deeply vulnerable truth. “But it doesn’t matter. Wherever you’re going next, so does my home.”

The weight of the words sank in between the silence and flowered out to fill the room. Trixie’s mouth fell open and she couldn’t stop the blush creeping up her neck. Katya had just handed Trixie a part of her to carry around in all her future travels as she acknowledged that the resort was no longer considered her home. Katya lowered her head, if it was possible, in dignified embarrassment.

“Okay,” Trixie began, breaking the silence. Time to let the feelings out. “Again, I really had a nice time here. And I don’t mind having your batshit ass around.” She lowered her eyes. “I like talking with you and I think you’re one of the strongest persons I know because you’ve had shitty stuff happen to you before but you never became an asshole because of it. You’re like, really fucking smart and hard working and really good to people… and… uh…” She swallowed. There was no going back now after this. “You’d definitely have a chance. With me. If you’d still like.”

Katya’s gaze softened as she looked up to her favorite person. “All I need is one chance. Just one,” she said, standing up from the bed to meet Trixie’s eyes in all seriousness. Trixie inhaled sharply and too stepped forward, charmingly towering over Katya’s sinewy frame. The air thickened and all it takes is one move to push things to no return. Who will make the move?

“Trixie Mattel, I’m not going to let you leave this resort until I kiss you.”

Trixie’s brain short-circuited as her eyes glazed over. It was whispered so softly had she not been a breath away from Katya, she would not have caught it. “Where?” she teased lightly, buying herself some time to breathe from the situation. A shark like expression erupted from Katya’s face.

“You brat.” She smirked, eyes sparkling. She continued, “On your cheek. Or your fingertips. It doesn’t fucking matter. Wherever you want. That would be enough.” Trixie pulled back ever so slightly to stare at the small genuine smile on her face. There was a rare sincerity to Katya’s voice that wasn’t suffixed by a guffaw and melted her heart.

Trixie hesitantly turned her head to the side to hold her cheek out, allowing. As Katya slowly moved closer, Trixie caught a whiff of the ocean, smoke, and perfume. The twist of scents rapidly triggered her brain to overload with picturesque memories. In the full space of a second, her universe was filled with the smell of the seaside from her balcony at night time, moments of staring from the back of the motorcycle at Katya’s glistening neck that probably tasted like saltwater, and the sensual wisp of cigarette smoke emitting from between her fingers over a hearty laugh. If this is what caused Trixie to change her mind, she had no regrets about turning her head to meet her lips with Katya’s at the last millisecond.

All of Trixie’s thoughts quieted, died down, but such as nuclear explosions do, her brain went from white blank to exploding into colorful chaos. It didn’t feel like the simple action of two lips meeting, but a pull towards the being that is Katya. She decided that lips weren’t enough physical contact so she wrapped her arms around Katya’s neck, bringing her home. The older woman, who had frozen in surprise, immediately pushed Trixie against the edge of table, closing the space between their hips. Trixie could feel the heat spread throughout her entire body from the pleasurable delight of being trapped against a solid object with only a pair of well-manicured hands on her waist holding her down.

Her leg slowly moved up to Katya’s calves and rested over her ass, pulling in to lessen the distance, if there was any left possible, and to anchor herself against the storm. Katya groaned, losing her fucking mind over the eroticism of her right pelvis pressed against the apex of Trixie’s thighs. She deliciously squeezed said fleshy thigh, feeling the soft, smooth skin and roundness that was uniquely woman. Trixie gasped at the sensation. Her hands began to roam as she lowered her raised leg to meet Katya’s fingers, which slid down from her thighs to clutch the back of her knee. Trixie inhaled sharply and her breathing grew shallower when Katya thrust her tongue inside her mouth and, at the same time, cleverly moved her middle finger up and down, and circling rhythmically, over the crease of Trixie’s bent knee, a female version of stroking a guy’s finger with a promise of the real thing coming soon. With little left to the imagination of where this was headed, she pulled away from Katya with a loud moan.

Both women stared at each other, breathing heavily, wide eyes searching for any sign, any hint, that they’re going to be okay. That this terrifying and exhilarating feeling was okay. With the help of the bright harsh light of her room, Trixie’s eyes hungrily took in Katya’s swollen wet red-smudged lips, dark blown out pupils, mussed up blouse exposing one shoulder and a nipple, and dirty blonde hair that she had definitely grabbed with her own hands. And Trixie thought she was the ravished one.

Katya let go of Trixie’s knee, lifting her fingertips up to the younger girl’s cheek, wordlessly asking if they could go further. She felt a shock throughout her entire body when Trixie gently pushed her away and walked to the door. Katya felt her heart drop all the way to the bottom of her stomach, believing that she had made an absolutely huge mistake and that Trixie was going kick her out of the room and tell her that she didn’t want this, that she was too old for her, and deserves way better than a former drug addict. She could feel her throat choking up, was about to wrap her arms around her stomach, until Trixie simply switched off the lights and bathed them both in moonlight from the window.

———

The sun was high and bright at mid-afternoon. The rented car sped past small bungalow houses, rice fields, traffic laden highways, to a bustling city, and soon, they would be at the Clark International Airport. Trixie was curled against Katya’s body almost the entire ride. It wasn’t much of a difference in position of how they woke up that morning, especially with Katya stroking Trixie’s cotton candy hair as dawn’s light seeped through the window. Verbal promises were whispered all night as the non-verbal ones were kissed onto naked skin. It was as though Katya wanted to soon fill Trixie’s heart with something before the painful absence sets in between them hours from now.

“I wish I could stay,” Trixie said quietly. The car was in the same city now as the airport and she could feel the hourglass sand running low with her remaining time.

“I wish you would,” said Katya, continuing to stroke Trixie’s hair before giving it a kiss. “But you have a life of your own.”

Trixie sat up, suddenly filled with guilt. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to be one of those who leaves you again—”

“Don’t be.”

“I want to keep you.”

Katya struggled for an answer to that one. Coming up with nothing, she could only gather the younger girl back into her arms so she would not see the stray tear she was wiping away.

With her head against Katya’s chest, Trixie traced the tattoos on her forearm from where her sleeve has rode up. “What does this one mean to you?” she quietly said to the left one. “Is it a Tarot card?”

Katya nodded. “The Fool,” she answered. “New beginnings, naivety, leap of faith.”

“And this is Death?” Trixie glanced at the other arm.

“Yep. It means change, mortality, letting go…” Katya glanced down to meet her eyes. “It, uh, depends on which side you see them. Things can change their meanings if you look at it in another way, you know?”

There was a moment of silence as the two women stared at each other. The car was pulling into the airport’s security checkpoint and they both felt time starting to slip away quickly. “You know what’s one thing I lo–like about you?” Trixie said, staring straight into her gray eyes, trying not to give away that she almost slipped. “You absolutely have no filter. You are so free to be yourself. Don’t ever change that.”

Katya’s mischievous smile returned. “So why does it feel like I’m the one trapped here?” she said.

“Come with me,” Trixie blurted out. She regretted it immediately, thinking how much she sounded like a child. “I mean…” Her words were hushed with a kiss.

“Let’s just see which back alley life takes us before it fucks us up, okay?” Katya whispered to her lips then grinning. They finally pulled up to Departure. Katya helped her with her suitcases and other bags before she was unable to take it and pulled her into a tight embrace.

“I can’t wait for the video,” Katya said into her ear. “You’ve always been so talented with storytelling and a camera. Remember that’s also why I brought you here.” Trixie nodded into her shoulder, fighting back her own tears.

“I hope my vlog would help bring more stories your way,” she said, releasing her hug. There was an intensity in Katya’s staring, one that fiercely declared “I love you, Trixie”, only held back by her tongue thinking that after one night of sex was too early to say out loud. Yet Trixie picked up on the expression, but couldn’t say it back either. She poured what words she cannot say yet into a tearful, lingering kiss. As they parted, Trixie picked up her bags before walking to the doorway of the airport.

Katya watched Trixie until she was no longer in sight. With a heavy heart, she got back into the car and was silent throughout the entire ride back to La Union.

———

THREE MONTHS LATER

Trixie was about to hang up after the ninth ring when her online call was finally picked up.

“Hello?”

“Sasha?” Trixie said softly.

“Darling, how are you doing?” Sasha’s low voice cooed from the other side of the world.

“I’m… I’m doing great,” the younger girl said, trying not to sound too fragile. “Just wanted to know how you’re doing.”

There was a pause before Sasha replied. “I’m doing wonderful. The cafe is doing great and I may be opening a second one somewhere in Metro Manila soon. It’s going to be at Bonifacio Global City, which is a huge deal!”

“That’s good to hear,” Trixie said, smiling. She exhaled heavily. “Sasha—”

“Are you okay, Trixie?”

“I just talked to Katya and…”

“Oh dear, is anything wrong?”

“No, none at all. I just… I just really miss her and it hurts,” Trixie sniffed, clutching the side of her bed where she was sitting on. “It hurts so much, Sasha. I just got back from my trip to Australia and… I thought traveling again would make it easier. But I don’t feel complete anymore.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way,” Sasha said sadly. “I remember how happy you looked when you told me you liked her. Trust me, darling. It hurts for Katya too. It may even hurt for her even more.”

“Why?”

Trixie could imagine Sasha pursing their glittery lips before answering in a tone that felt like she was sitting in a Philosophy lecture.

“Because the absence of a lover is felt more strongly by the one who is left behind. Such as in ancient times, it’s man who goes off to hunt or to sail, and the woman waits for him to come back.”

Trixie fell silent. It finally clicked now when Katya had told her at the airport how she felt trapped or when she talked about ships docking at her port, only to leave later at some point. Guilt permeated her heart as she thought of Katya going through her day on the beach, hoping that one day, or someday, the girl she loves will return. While Skype sessions were frequent, it was the bodily absence of each other that was putting them through a longing that had no end. The agony was real.

“I want to keep her around,” she said, sniffing back her tears. “But my friend Bob said that the long distance is going to be hard when we live in different timezones. What do we do?”

“You know, dear, you have the option to not pursue the relationship if it’s too taxing on both of you,” Sasha said. But before Trixie could interrupt, they plowed on. “BUT that doesn’t mean you have to give up. I think you know what I mean when I say that the older you grow, the easier it is to lose contact with friends along the way, yes? So if there’s someone worth keeping in your life, it’s going to take a lot more effort to hold on to them. It’s hard, but we do it anyway because they’re worth it.”

Trixie burst into sobs. Her heart and mind both agreed strongly that Katya was worth everything, and the intensity of those feelings spilling out were overwhelming. There was a sense of relief that she still could feel her humanity capable of loving someone so much it caused her pain. She tried to compose her voice, only cracking a little. “D-doesn’t it sound stupid that… Traveling makes me feel right at home, that moving around feels like home? But this last trip didn’t feel like it…”

Sasha paused to think. “It seems the journey is more important to you than the destination… Correct me if I may be wrong, but have you ever thought that you were escaping from something?” they said. Trixie’s mouth fell open in realization. Indeed, why has she been traveling in the first place?

She began to narrate her history to Sasha through her sniffles, who patiently listened. When she was eighteen, Trixie left her family home to find a new life away from her abusive step-father. When she thought she had gotten away, she continued to run from the voices in her head that yelled that she wasn’t good or smart enough to make it in a big city. And when she had finally found monetary success in her YouTube travel vlogs and other side hustles, she had immediately worked herself to exhaustion to run away from idleness, terrified that the moment she rested, her income will fall and will be back at poverty. It was why Kim and Bob called her a workaholic, something she had honestly believed was a good virtue for a while. Until Katya, damn that girl, spoke of finding something, or someone, real to stand still for. She wanted to stop running. She had to do something.

“Trixie?”

“Hey Sasha, that business contact you have in Manila… What’s his name again?”

———————

FIVE MONTHS LATER

THE REAL TEA BEHIND MY LA UNION VLOG—AND A SURPRISE ANNOUNCEMENT 842,711 views

“Hi guys,” Trixie softly beamed to her viewers. It felt strange for her to start a vlog without the hyped up, perky energy she usually puts on. She shyly tucked her hair behind her ear before saying, “I’ve, uh, been wondering for months if or how I should be telling you guys this story… But I think now is the perfect time.”

Her beam turned into a grin as she couldn’t help reminisce the good times she had on that sliver of paradise. A glow lit up her face.

“Several months ago, I was invited to La Union by a friend I met at VidCon. Turns out I had been casted by some almighty force above to star in a Greg Berlanti rom-com starring me and Charlize Theron from Atomic Bland…”

She snorted. Her cheeks slightly pinked before stating the words with a glowing smile. “What I mean to say is… I met someone.”

With a fluttering trail of photos and funny videos included into her vlog, Trixie told the story of how she met Katya, her friends, their brief conflict, and how they bonded even further after she left Elyu. Then she gave a quick rundown about the past few months where both ladies worked tirelessly on closing a business deal that gave Katya a brand new opportunity.

“So without further ado, may I bring to the stage… The incomparable, the legendary, the festering pile of garbage I could not scrape off my shoe, my new travel vlog partner Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova. Or as your dad calls her, Katya!”

Messy dirty blonde hair and straight perfect teeth, the glory that was Katya slid into the seat next to Trixie. While her body language stayed polite and composed, she had a wild manic grin that promised to bring crazy shenanigans to Trixie’s next world adventure. A pair of tiny plastic hands topped both of her pointer fingers.

“Katya will be joining me on my future travels until she dies of arthritis,” Trixie explained.

“I’d die of diabetes actually,” Katya injected as-a-matter-of-factly.

“Why?”

Katya quickly turned to lick Trixie’s face, causing both of them to flail, scream, and crash off-screen. A quick jump cut edit had them both back into the frame.

Trixie took up the lead. “We’re also thinking about doing a short vlog series of us talking about whatever we want when we’re not on the road. Feel free to comment below what we should talk about first—”

“And we’ll see if we can try to stay on topic,” said Katya, grinning deviously. “Oh! I bet you’re all wondering what happened to the resort,” Katya said to the camera. “I sold it to my friend Karl and his partners at FP Ruview Enterprise, god bless those hoes. Then I took the cash, buried it into a hole, and then I fucked it.”

“And then it grew into a money tree. Fuck you dad, money does grow on trees,” Trixie chimed in. Turning to her girlfriend, she said, “Would you make a good financial adviser?”

“I would!”

“Great cause I can’t wait to be stranded in the middle of Germany with you with no money.”

It was the first time Katya wheezed and flailed on Trixie’s vlog while batting at her with the toy hands. Later on, Trixie read with gratification that her viewers ate their banter up and wanted more.

“Ooh ooh! We can look for a strip club in Germany and wiggle there for extra cash,” Katya exclaimed. She got up from her seat and began running her hands up and down her torso and hips in the least sexiest way possible. Trixie watched with open amusement, wondering with utter delight what she had gotten herself and her vlog into. For a few seconds, she played out a daydream; twisting around to the plane seat next to hers and seeing Katya’s wild and excited grin, looking forward to their trip together. It felt like she was back at Elyu’s beach again falling in love with her for the first time. This is what it felt like to be whole again.

“So, we’ll see you guys until our next video. Until then, I’m the adhesive allergy drag queens get on their balls for wearing too much duct tape, Trixie Mattel!”

“And I’m the dumpster bookshelf you’re dragging to your apartment at midnight when this stranger helps out and you pay him in wigs and a quick fuck, Katya!”

———

“Where are we going to next, by the way?” Katya asked after they turned off the camera. Trixie blinked. After Katya moved in with her, Trixie had to take a step back and wonder how did she get it right this time. There was a person in her space that she could always expect to see at the end of the day that could make everything better. When Trixie thought about home, she had never imagined it would be the sound of a hairdryer at 9 in the morning, or the faint smell of cigarettes in the late afternoon. And when Trixie said she wanted to be able to relate to love songs again, she didn’t exactly think that she herself would be blasting Taylor fucking Swift and singing “She is the best thing that has ever been MIIIIIINE” while cleaning their bathroom. She knew Katya hated Ms. Swift, but she also knew she was probably secretly smiling over the fresh clothes she was folding.

The concept of love is simple, yet so terribly easy to complicate. So it gave Trixie great pleasure to reply in all its uncomplicated glory, “Let’s stay home for a while.”

[thestarandskullshow]

Purple Hyacinths

Author:  ✨Star✨ Pairing: Hanahaki!Kim Taehyung x Ex Lover!Reader Word Count: 1.5k Warnings: Some swearing, mentions of pain, mentions of hospitals Authors note: I know this may be a bit overdone, but this is one of my favorite AUs, and I’ve decided to play around with it a little bit. Enjoy!

“The Hanahaki Disease is a fictional disease in which the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. It ends when the beloved returns their feelings (romantic love only; strong friendship is not enough), or when the victim dies. It can be cured through surgical removal, but when the infection is removed, the victim’s romantic feelings for their love also disappear.”

“I want to break up.”

The decision had been entirely his own. The look on your face was one of acceptance, underlined with tears indicating the pain he had caused you. Not that he felt even remotely sorry anymore. The fighting had been increasing in frequency, as well as intensity. He didn’t know when it would ever end, and he was so tired of broken dishes and slamming doors. He had to end it, or he would be stuck in this never ending cycle until he died. So he did. He hadn’t stuck around for too long after that.

His friend Namjoon had been with him when the first blossom fell from his lips. The two boys were sitting on a bench along the Han River about a month after the breakup. They were drinking beer and talking about dating, how many dates Taehyung had been on, and how none of them really stayed around too long. Not that he minded really, he was enjoying being able to play the field a little after being tied down for a year. The boys were laughing at the idea of meeting “the one” when you happened to walk by. When he saw you, Taehyung’s voice cut off almost immediately. You were laughing, the corners of your eyes crinkled as you brought your hand up to cover your face. You always were embarrassed of your smile. He took note of how your hair color was different, and how short you had cut it. That’s when he noticed your other hand was locked with someone else’s, someone new. They were smiling with you, leaning their head close to yours as you walked together, as if it were just the two of you alone in your own little world. You looked absolutely radiant, confident, and happy. He watched as you walked down the stretch of sidewalk along the river before disappearing around a staircase and out of sight.

“Ah man…I’m sorry Taehungie. I didn’t think y/n came around here…” Namjoon rubbed the back of his neck before taking a sip of his beer and looking back over at the water. Taehyung shrugged, opening his mouth to reply when he felt the first itch in his throat. He coughed once, trying to get it to go away, but something was stuck in there. He started coughing more, Namjoons attention shifted back to the younger boy, reaching out to pat his back to try to help get whatever it was out. Taehyung felt it finally come loose and land against his palm. He looked down and stared at the small purple blossom for a moment.

“Purple Hyacinth..” Namjoon had muttered, scratching his head as he looked between the flower and his friend.

“Taehyungie.. Are you..” Before Namjoon could finish his sentence, Taehyung had bolted from the bench. Calling out a half-assed excuse for leaving, and promising he’d call Namjoon later, he sprinted home.

Now five months later, Taehyung was sitting in a hospital room surrounded by those stupid fucking flowers. They came much more frequently now, and in larger numbers. There were times he even coughed up stems, their scratchy ends making his throat feel shredded and raw. He couldn’t take this much longer, and thankfully he wouldn’t have to.

Taehyung took a deep breath, then hit the record button for his webcam.

When the notification popped up that you had a video message from your ex boyfriend, you weren’t quite sure how to react. It had been months since you heard from Taehyung, and quite honestly you didn’t really want to hear from him ever again. You left it in your emails inbox for two days before you’re curiosity finally got the better of you.

You hit play, and instantly Taehyung’s face filled your screen. He looked terrible, like he had barely been sleeping or eating. His lips were chapped, and he had dark circles under his eyes. You could tell he was thinner, and when he breathed, you swore you hear something fluttering. Taehyung looked up at the camera with the most forlorn expression clouding his face, yet he somehow managed a weak ghost of his usual smile.

“Hello y/n. Ah… this might be harder than I thought. Please watch until the end. I have to speak a little slow, because if I speak too fast, they’ll come out again. So, please be patient with me.” His voice was hoarse, barely recognizable.

“So.. it turns out I’m sick. No, not the kind of sick you’re thinking, and I’m not asking you for anything. Well, nothing aside from you watching this I suppose. My support group says that recording this will help me get some closure before it’s gone for good, so I guess it’s worth a shot right?” He let out a wheeze that you assumed was supposed to be a chuckle, and you felt your chest tighten. Was he dying? Why hadn’t he just called you to tell you all of this? Taehyung glanced down briefly, clearing his throat before looking to the camera once again.

“They call it Hanahaki Disease. It’s born from one-sided love.. And it can be fatal unless one of two things happen, but I’ll tell you about those in a moment. I’m sure you’ve noticed the flowers by now, how could you not, I mean, they’re everywhere. They’re called Purple Hyacinths, Namjoon hyung said they represent sorrow, and begging for forgiveness or something. Kind of funny right? Well.. They’re coming from my lungs. I cough them up by the hundreds these days, and yes, before you ask, it hurts like hell.” as if to punctuate that statement, Taehyung wheezed again. He started to cough, and a handful of the purple flowers spilled from his lips into his hands. He tossed them onto his desk, looking up with his eyebrow raised as if to say ‘See?’

“That happens multiple times throughout the day, usually there’s more, but hey, I’m not complaining if there’s less of the damn things. Anyways, the doctors told me there’s two ways to make it stop. The first, and the most ideal really, is for the person you love, to love you back. However, seeing how that isn’t going to happen, I opted for the second way. They can be surgically removed before the flowers take root inside my lungs. There’s only one catch to that, though.. All of your feelings towards the person in question will disappear. Permanently.” Taehyung paused, and you felt your heart in your throat. He was going to have the flowers taken out, and with them, any feelings he had towards you as well. How could loving you hurt him this much, when he had been the one to break it off with you in the first place? You reached for your phone, as Taehyung started to speak again.

“If I know you, and I do, you’re going to try and call me once you see this. You’ll tell me not to do it, claim that you still love me, maybe even ask to meet up with me. Which is why I thought ahead and disconnected my old number.. See, my surgery is happening this friday, which is about.. three days from the time I’m recording this. I won’t be sending this to you until I’m fully recovered, which is about a week afterwards. After sending this, I’ll be closing out my email account associated here as well.” You brought your hand up to cover your trembling lips, tears threatening to spill over your lashes for the first time in months.

“I’m doing this for you, Y/n. You deserve a life full of everything amazing, and bright, and good. I was never good for you. That’s why I’ve decided to leave after my surgery. I won’t tell you where I’m going, so don’t try looking for me, I can guarantee you will never find me. You’re going to be fine, I’m going to be fine. We are going to live our lives and grow old and be fine. Shit, what time is it? I have to go to group now, so I’m going to sign off here. Live your best life, don’t worry about me okay? Oh, and one last thing before I go. I truly love you, y/n.” Taehyung smiled genuinely, his eyes seemingly staring straight into yours as his hand came up to tap the button to stop recording. The video stopped on Taehyung’s frozen expression, he looked hopeful, his decision finalized in his mind.

You admired just how much he had thought this through, he knew you would have tried to change his mind, even try to get him back so he wouldn’t be suffering like that anymore. He had been completely right, however. The two of you were never good for eachother, and though you hated that, you couldn’t deny what was so obvious after all of the fights the two of you had. You were better off without each other, and that hurt.

You took a deep breath, exhaling shakily before blinking away your tears and closing the video. You closed your eyes for a moment, just letting it all sink in. Taehyung was right. Everything was going to be fine. A smile tugged at your lips, with a silent ‘thank you’ trailing not far behind. Then, you opened your eyes, stood up from your desk, and started walking toward your future.

[atraceofhonesty]

All odd questions

1-Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?I haven’t said those words to someone in I think over a year?  This doesn’t count family.  And yea.  I absolutely meant it.  3-When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?When a friend of mine was telling me about her pregnancy and her bf being a garbage person.  Happy about the munchkin, aggravated about him.5-Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?Nope, not that I’m aware of.  And if they were they could kiss the fattest part of my7-What exactly are you wearing right now?Red striped t-shirt, black boxer briefs.9- Do you wear jeans or sweats more?Jeans, most definitely.11-Are you a social or an antisocial person?Antisocial.  Being around too many people for too long especially without an anchor person makes me dizzy and uncomfortable.13-What about ‘R’? (Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with)Nope!15-Do you care if people talk badly about you?I do, I’d much prefer if people told me their discrepancies to my face, because I always try to do my best to be nice and fair and kind to everyone I encounter.  Unless you’re disrespectful to me before you even know me.  Then you’re basically dead to me and I couldn’t care less what you think or say of me.17-When was the last time you cried?Last night.  I fkin cried over the movie happy death day when she talks to her dad.  Keeping that spoiler minimum and for the people who’ve seen it, you know the scene.19-If you could change your eye color, would you?No, I think the blue that it is, is just fine.21-Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.I’ve been having an annoying amount of acid building up in my stomach and while it isn’t too problematic just the underlying feeling of it makes everything I do sour.  23-Are you dating the last person you talked to?No, and the last person I dated I haven’t spoken to in about 11 months now.25-Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?No, this kinda makes me sad, but nobody in my family regularly says it either, not since my grandma passed a few weeks ago >.27-Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?I think it was Shannon.29-Where is the shirt you are wearing from?Bluenotes.31-Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?Well, since I don’t drink at all, that’d be really unusual now wouldn’t it?33-Do you want your tongue pierced? I did in highschool when I was a much hornier brat.  Um, if my partner asked me to get one though, i’d highly consider it.35-Did you have a dream last night?Yes, I got shot at a lot by this guy, but since I’ve been able to control my dreams lately, he grazed me, and I got really upset at him, and he begged my forgiveness and gave me like stacks upon stacks of money and asked if this was enough to forgive him, and aha, I told him it was a start lol37- Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?It’s really hard to say.  I think I’d like to be, but, I can only play the cards i’m dealt.39-Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?I get the feeling there is, yea.41-Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?Definitely not.  It’s been 11 months since I was.43- Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?yes, and I’m pretty sure they cheated on me so like HAHAHA.  Ur loss babe.45-Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?Oh yea, and it’s linked in my aboutme page lol47-Do you replay things that have happened in your head?Constantly, but usually the stuff I feel I should’ve done differently or better.49-Is your life anything like it was two years ago?Oh, absolutely not.  Like night and day.51-Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?Not in the slightest aha, very good friend of mine.53- Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?Yes absolutely.  In fact..55- Are you good at hiding your feelings?I am when they’re bad.  Not so much when they’re happy or stuff like that57- Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?Nope.59-Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?Yes, it was like 4 months ago and I was in a walk in freezer LOL61-How’s your heart?A little confused, but definitely healed from that last traumatic event.63-Have you ever cried over a guy?Not.  Romantically, but at work a male customer made me cry, so there’s that.65-Are your toenails painted pink?No but they definitely should be lol67-Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?I wouldn’t say love it, but being honest with your feelings, I would definitely say girls wouldn’t hate it.  69-Who was the last person you were on the phone with?*sigh.  My grandma.71-Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?No.  Unfortunately, I have to try and suppress myself around my friends if I ever get upset about something, and...I don’t know if I’ve ever been able to be completely happy around someone either...which is super depressing to think about.  Don’t read too much into that.73- Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?I have a VERY tight circle, and um.  Yea.  I feel I do.  I think that took a while to admit to myself.75- Did you wake up cranky?I mean I got shot in my damn dream and the notification that woke me up was from the WRONG PERSON.  so maybe a little yea.77-Are relationships ever worth it?yesyesyes, even if they fail, they can teach you so much about yourself and your preferences, and what you want and what you don’t want79- Currently wanting to see anyone?um um um.  maybeeeee...yes.81-Last person you cried in front of?My back was always turned to my coworkers or I’d bite myself to hold my tears back.  Um.  The last person was like a year and a half ago in front of my ex when I had a bad day, she drove me home and I cried the whole way.83- Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?Protective?  I’m really not sure about that.  I’m sure they’ll let me know though when they read this aha85-Are you over your past?yes.  It took me a long time but yes.87-Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?I kind of already answered this by proxy already so ya89-So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?They came a long ass way, so yea I’m letting em in.  And then asking why tf they��re here of all places.  Not that i’d be mad, it’s just.  It’d be very confusing.91- Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?I’m not gonna hold my breath.  But if that’s what someone I have feelings for wants to do, then.  Only time will tell won’t it :)93Have you ever kissed a Matthew?How can you ask letters and get no, and ask a specific name and get a yes, that’s magical.95-Were you happy with the person you liked in March?HNNNNGGGGG.  I WAS HAPPY WITH THEM BEFORE MARCH.  I’m over it.  it’s been a year.  I’m over it. 97- Who do you have texts from?I don’t text.  Snapchat, facebook w.e.  But I don’t like the constant coverage.  The, I can contact you anywhere you are thing.  If I go for a walk, I wanna know it’s impossible for me to be found.  Sorry not sorry.99-Have you ever kissed someone older than you?yes, but...I don’t think i’ve been in a relationship with an older person since I was in early highschool like 2010 or something lol101- Ever kissed under fireworks?Yes!  Although it was Canada day from 2 years ago.  DANG THAT WAS LONG I HOPE YOU GOT YOUR FIX.  INB4 the anon asking for all evens, I strongly would like you write you an angrily written letter lol