#not about this at least. sometimes it happens but i need facts
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Gosh, I can relate to this.
I think about what fandom is a lot since I sort of lurk in a lot of spaces (until I feel brave enough to speak or share).
First off, the point of this addition isn't to guilt trip anyone, but to get people thinking about what community means. What inclusion means, and what engagement means. And how those are interconnected.
One of the crucial pillars of fandom, and the reason fandom exists at all is because of community.
Writing fanfiction and sharing it for free is about building community with one another. It's people who loved a show/movie/book enough that they wanted to play in the world longer, so they play together in that world with other people who love it too. That's what fanworks are -- it's people playing together in community because of a love toward a specific series/media.
But community requires communication. It requires building connections. It requries engaging one another.
I write long fics. In fact, adding up the word counts of my fics in AO3? It's well over a million words in two different fandoms. These are free novels written because the community had been welcoming at first and it had encouraged me to keep going.
But I made a mistake. Two of these projects (in two separate fandoms) I made into a series. Because of how each part in a series means the sequel gets less engagement, it feels like I'm watching a community dissolve, and that's painful. I don't get paid for this. It's all free, and part of the reason I went to fanfic writing was because of community.
Lack of engagement gives, often unintentionally, the author the message that they aren't really part of the fandom's community. At least not anymore (if they ever were).
Some say, "Well, don't write for your readers!"
Well, no, I don't write for my readers, but the act of sharing for free is me giving to the community and building up community.
But part of building up community requires people to give back in turn. Oherwise the community will fracture and fall apart.
The reason fandom exists at all is because of community.
It's the community part of fandom that has helped me to heal enough to write again, but when that community dries up or no longer engages with me, then what am I to do? I've lost that community, and if I continue to engage with it and get very little (if not nothing) in return, then at that point, I'm throwing my energy into a void in hopes for a scrap of community.
It ceases to fulfill the need. It leaves me feeling lost and alone. And finding out later how much people loved a fic I wrote but that fic received very little engagement? It tells me that I'm not loved as a person within the community.
I have watched and listen to people talk about how much it hurts when the work they put in so much effort in for the community gets little to no engagement. It often pushes them to engage less, to stop writing, and watching that happen? It hurts to see.
Community requires communication. Do not treat an fanfic author like a kiosk, where you grab the story and run. Treat them like they are part of your community. By doing so, by including them, you bolster their sense of belonging and are more likely to get stories in return.
Community needs to be reciprocal. And I fear fandoms are losing that understanding of what community is. They expect and sometimes demand more, but what are they doing to support that fanfic writer or artist? Are they engaging them and uplifting them within the community? Or are they not engaging them?
If you read an author's work and love it, include them in that community by sharing your thoughts in a comment. You don't necessarily have to comment on every chapter of a longer work (Though it is so lovely some do), but to at least offer up comments here and there to be inclusive of that author.
Engagement bolsters the community bond.
The lack of engagement breaks the community bond.
And that's a sort of grief. Us writers came for community and to share our love of the fandom with others. When we fail to be included in that community, it will hurt. It's a type of rejection that people may not even realize they are doing.
Community requires communication, and for fandoms, part of that communication is comments, kudos, (and gosh, even tumblr asks).
I hope that helps give people another perspective to consider.
Think it over. Think about what you'd like to give back to the creators in your community.
And please understand, if you can only give back one or so comments? That's okay and valid, and that too builds up community.
Even little actions matter.
Never think your small action doesn't matter or that your comment or kudos doesn't matter. It does. It helps build community too.
Thanks for reading. Be safe.
A writer friend told me something that broke my heart a little bit today; they're going to quit publishing their fanfic.
My instant thought was that they had been trolled or attacked or that something terrible had happened in their life because this person is so passionate about their writing. It wasn't any of that. Engagement with their works has been going down, as it has for many of us. Comments are like gold dust a lot of the time, and just looking through the historical comment counts on old fics on ao3 demonstrates this trend very clearly. It was not simply the comments dropping off which caused them to decide to stop posting, however.
My friend came across a discord server for their fandom (I should point out here that their fandom interest and mine diverged a couple of years ago, we stay in touch but don't currently read each other's posts because I'm not into their fandom and they would rather gouge their eyes out with a wooden spoon than read anything Star Wars) and specifically to share fic in that fandom. They joined, because we all love a good fic rec, only to discover that their latest multichapter fic, which has almost no comments and very few kudos, is being hotly discussed in this server as one of the best stories ever. Not one of these people has bothered to say this to them on the fic. When they asked, none of participants could see the point in telling the author of the fic they apparently loved so much that they love it.
This discovery has absolutely destroyed my friend's love of sharing fic. They share because they love seeing other people's enjoyment, and fic writers do that through comments and kudos/reblogs/likes because we don't get paid. There is no literary critic writing a blog post/article about how amazing the story is for us to copy and keep/frame. There is no money from royalties. All we have are the words of the people reading our works.
Those people on that server could have taken five minutes of the time they spent gushing about how amazing my friend's story was to other people and used it to tell the one person guaranteed to want to hear that praise how much they loved it. They could have taken a moment to express their opinion to the person who spent hours upon hours plotting, writing, editing, and posting those chapters. Instead, they deprived my friend of thing that keeps them sharing their writing, and in the process have killed their love of it. My friend now feels used and unmotivated.
I won't be sharing a link to their fic, they said I could share their experience but not their identity. I know they plan to post one final chapter. I know they intend to express their hurt at being excluded from the praise for the thing they created, and I know they intend to announce that as a consequence they will not be posting for a long while, if at all.
So please, I beg you, don't hide your love of a story from the writer. It's just about the only thing we have.
#Just some thoughts on fandom and community#what I think readers may not realize when it comes to what comments are within the fandom community#I need to be better about comments too so I'm reminding myself too#bird speaks
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Rightfully deceived
Chapter 5
Summary: When a marriage promise forces Y/N to step up for her younger sister, she gets something she always wanted. But when the truth comes out, her new husband Dean is not so happy about the mix-up. Will she loose it all? Or will she be surprised in the end?
Pairing: AU!Dean Winchester x Reader
Word Count: 5355 (Sorry! 🙈)
Warnings: 18+ only!!! arranged marriage, some tension, angst, perilous situation, smut
A/N: This is a long one, guys. But I didn't want to split it up again. All mistakes are mine! Enjoy!
Series Masterlist My Masterlist
Running down the stairs Y/N saw Millie standing at the bottom who called after her, but she could not stop. She told her that she needed a minute and kept running out of the castle. She did not care about the looks from the others as she ran towards the staples. But she did not stop there.
Benny called after her, Sam too who stood next to him, but Y/N gave them no reaction. After she left the stable behind her, she just kept running. Up the next hill as far as her feet would take her and until the castle was no longer visible. Y/N first stopped again at a small group of trees where she could hide inside. She needed time to think and just wanted to be alone. At least for a little while.
Here, her tears could fall freely and her heart could break. Another crack breaking the smooth red surface. She just didn't know what to do anymore. Dean wasn't on her side. No, he preferred another woman. And of course she understood his anger, but it had been over two months now. He should slowly get used to it or at least try to understand her side. It wasn't easy for Y/N either.
The fact that she loved Dean didn't make it any easier. His distance and that cold shoulder hit her hard. It could be so easy, if only he saw her as more than the woman who had robbed him of his happiness. He didn't mention Helena anymore, but sometimes she had the feeling that he looked at her and saw her sister's face.
Maybe she should just walk away, pack her things and disappear. Unfortunately it wasn't that easy. She had no money of her own and there was no question of her taking Dean's money. And she couldn't and didn't want to go back to her father. She missed her clan and the life she was used to for so long, but she actually wanted to start over here with Dean. She loved him and that was the problem. Deep down, she just couldn't leave him. She was hopelessly lost.
A cool wind rushed through the branches and leaves, swirling the fabric of her dress. If only she had grabbed a coat. She found a moss-covered spot near the roots of a large tree, where she sat down and leaned her back against the trunk. She wasn't ready to go back yet.
Dean had just stared after Y/N before the anger caused him to sweep his desk empty with his arm and knock any objects onto the floor. He took a few deep breaths before took to his heels and ran after her. At the bottom of the stairs, Millie was standing exactly as he had left her before.
"Where is she?" he asked and Millie pointed a finger to the door.
"She went out."
So Dean made his way towards the entrance of his castle, but Millie hold him back.
"Dean, wait!" she lightly grabbed his arm to stop him. "Don't go after her. At least not right now."
"What?" his brows furrowed. "But I need to talk to her."
"I know her, Dean, believe me. She was so upset... give her some time to calm down. No matter what you said to her now, she would take it the wrong way."
"I... I don't like that. I should talk to her right now. There was a misunderstanding that needs to be cleared up."
And by that he meant the last sentence that slipped out of his mouth. He shouldn't have said that and he had to clarify that. But he also had to clarify other things. Y/N's words had made him think and he had realized that his behavior towards her simply wasn't fair. However, he had been staying away from her for different reasons than she probably assumed.
"What happened up there?" MIllie asked.
Just as Dean was about to tell him about the package, the door opened and Benny and Sam walked in. So the two men were also brought up to date and then Dean expressed Y/N's suspicion that it was Cassie. Sam and Benny exchanged a look that didn't go unnoticed by Dean and Millie looked down so as not to reveal that she knew about this assumption.
"What? You already knew about it?" he asked incredulously.
"Dean..." Sam started. "Cassie always wanted to marry you."
"So what? That's her motive? She knew that I was going to marry someone else."
"Yeah, but she was not happy when she heared that Y/N is not the right woman." Benny said.
"I mean... you only need to look how she behaves infront of you." Sam pointed out.
"And how she behaves towards Y/N. She makes it pretty clear that she is not happy that Y/N is here."
Well, that were news to Dean. But on the other hand, he had been gone for a while. He had never noticed that Cassie avoided Y/N like that. No matter who he saw Y/N with, they all seemed to like her now and she seemed to get along with everyone. She fit the bill really well.
"Okay. This is not happening. Not under my watch." Dean said and made his way back up the stairs. "Call everyone into the dining hall!" He had to do something.
Fifteen minutes later all the clan members were gathered around the large table, at the head of which Dean stood, the package in his hand. A murmur went through the crowd as no one could really explain what the problem was. Dean looked around and saw Jo and Alex standing with Cassie. Benny was standing near the door and Sam was across the room from him. Millie had fought her way to Jo without Cassie or Alex noticing her.
"When I came back from my business trip today, I actually had the impression that everything was fine. But then Y/N found this in our bedroom." and with a thud he dropped the package onto the table after removing the lid.
The severed cat's head almost fell out of the box, causing shocked exclamations among those present.
"This is a threat that should go to Y/N. But this threat also goes to me and I cannot and will not accept that. Y/N is now my wife and I had the impression that you all received her well But apparently I was wrong."
An incomprehensible murmur now went through the crowd, accompanied by the underlying question of who could do such a thing. Dean observed the reactions of the different people, but couldn't notice anything unusual, not even with Cassie.
"So that's how it's going to go here now." Dean raised his voice a little so that everyone would really listen to him. "Whoever did it has the opportunity to own up to it and admit it now. However, if that person doesn't speak up and I find out who it was...then God have mercy on him."
It was slowly getting dark and the temperature had dropped noticeably, but Y/N still couldn't go back. She had seen Sam and Dean riding horses across the countryside, calling out to her. She could also hear Benny, who was probably looking for her somewhere near the stables. Still, she couldn't reveal herself.
If Dean confronted her now, she would probably pour her heart out to him. She had noticed one thing in the last few hours. Her nerves were pretty thin and she wouldn't be able to handle any further rejection of her confession. She still hadn't completely calmed down. So she would now wait until the men gave up their search for the day and then sneak into Arrow's stable.
It took a few hours until Y/N felt safe enough to head back. By now it was pitch black and the cold was now creeping into her bones. Even though she was probably no longer visible, she walked slowly and deliberately. Always keeping an eye on the castle and its surroundings while she ducked again and again.
A lantern was burning in the stable and the candle wouldn't last much longer. However, it still provided enough light for Y/N to find the right box. As soon as Arrow recognized her, he whinnied happily and raised and lowered his head. She immediately tried to calm him down so that he wouldn't give her position away. However, that took a few moments.
"Oh Arrow. What am I supposed to do?"
The horse pushed Y/N's head closer to him as soon as the young woman stood in the box with him. As if he understood her words and recognized that she was struggling inside. She hugged him back, enjoying the feeling of safety and familiarity in that moment.
"That came from the stable! I think it was Arrow!"
Suddenly she heard Benny's voice, which seemed to come from the castle. But he wasn't alone.
"I'll take a look!" Alex called back, seemingly closer.
Oh no, she didn't want to be discovered yet. But after looking around and not really finding a place to hide, Y/N went to the end of the box, sat on the floor and piled the hay up above her. She tried to hide under it as best she could and just hoped she wouldn't be noticed.
Then she heard footsteps coming towards her. She could still see a little through the pile of hay above her head and at some point she saw Alex's legs and how he was walking through the stable. He stopped briefly at Arrow, spoke a few words to him and then went out again.
"She is not here. Everything looks normal." Alex stated as he seemed to walk back to the castle.
Relief flooded through Y/N and she was able to release the breath she had previously been holding. Quietly and carefully, she dug herself out of the hay again. The candle in the lantern barely gave off any light now. Arrow came over and sat down next to her, resting his head on her lap. Y/N also leaned into him a little.
"Just a little longer." She whispered while petting Arrow. "I'll just stay with you a little longer and then I'll go back."
Dean paced around the bedroom. It was already the middle of the night and Y/N still hadn't returned. A bad feeling slowly began to spread within him. After all, it was his fault that it had gotten this far. He had scared her away and made her feel like running away was the only solution. His absence and the silence with which he had punished her had been too much.
And yes, he now knew that he had unconsciously punished Y/N with his behavior. He hadn't married the woman he wanted and in a way Y/N was to blame. But that wasn't really why he had acted like that. Because now he also knew that there was an even more confusing reason for him. He stopped in front of the window and looked out into the cold, dark night.
Back then he had already imagined everything in his head. What the wedding with Helena would be like, their life afterwards here in his castle. What the next five years could have been like. The first child, then the second. For a long time these had just been fantasies for him, but after he got to know Helena, he could easily imagine that the fantasies could be true. He had really had feelings for the young woman.
But then the wedding night was over and in the next morning came disillusionment. He hadn't married Helena, but Y/N. That really threw him off track. And yet there were parallels between him and his wife. That's why he took her with him. And actually he had planned to just see how it goes. It was just the way it was now.
But the journey back to the castle alone had been a challenge. As soon as Y/N sat in front of him, his penis began to stir again. Her soft, round ass against his hips, the scent that wafted from her hair into his nose, had inevitably brought back the images of their night together.
And from then on, every night had been difficult for him. Every minute he had been alone with Y/N he had had to pull himself together. So often his fingers had itched to hold her in his arms or even kiss her. But he wasn't sure if she would have wanted that. After all, she had married him out of necessity and not because she wanted to.
So he went on business trips. But the distance didn't make things any better. When he lay in bed at night and let his thoughts wander, he always saw Y/N in front of him. He thought of her, of the things she had told him and of their night together. She had really caught him off guard and made him long for her. How crazy was all that?
He couldn't stay in the room any longer. With his coat in hand, he made his way back downstairs. The castle lay still and quiet, peaceful, as if nothing had happened. He opened the door and stood on the stairs, his gaze turned back to the dark landscape. His wife was out there somewhere and he was just hoping she would come back so he could talk to her and explain himself. So he could finally do it right.
"Dean?"
Slightly startled, Dean turned to the voice and recognized Ellen, who was standing in front of the kitchen with a candle in her hand and looking at him in surprise.
"What are you doing here?" she asked and came over to him.
"Y/N is still out there somewhere. She still hasn't come back." his gaze turned back.
"But she will come back eventually. She probably just needed time. After what you told me, Dean... you really made a mistake."
"I know!" he exclaimed angry at himself. "But I'm hoping it's not to late now."
Ellen didn't say anything else, but her heart ached a little for Dean. She was also worried about Y/N and hoped that she would show up again soon. She placed a warm hand on Dean's shoulder, showing him her silent support. After a few minutes, however, she broke the silence again.
"Has anyone come forward about the allegations yet?"
"No. And it looks like noone will either."
"She was really on edge last week. Whoever followed her had made her feel really uneasy."
"You also knew about it?" Dean asked surprised.
"Yes. She told me about it."
"Did she also tell you that she that she suspected Cassie?"
"No. But that does not surprise me." Dean looked at Ellen questioningly and she smiled a little. "Have you ever seen how she looks at you? She's jealous. And she's ignoring Y/N since the moment she came here. It would make sense."
With that Ellen was right, but he could hear a 'but' in her sentence. So he asked he to explain.
"when you called the meeting this afternoon and showed us what it was about, Jo overheard Cassie talking to Alex."
"And?" Dean now was eager to know.
"She wasn't as shocked as everyone else about the contents of the box, but she was probably still surprised. And then she said to Alex that she thought the act was good and that it was a shame that she hadn't thought of it herself."
"So she indirectly admitted that it wasn't her... And Jo believes her?"
"Yes. And I believe that too, by the way." now Dean looked surprised and Ellen explained her statement. "She once helped me in the kitchen and was supposed to pluck a chicken. She almost vomited. And the animal was already dead."
"So she couldn't have killed the cat." Dean mused.
"No. Not her. Unless she had an accomplice. But I believe Jo that it wasn't Cassie. My daughter has known her longer than I have."
That made sense in Dean's eyes. "But who was it then?"
"That's exactly the question, Dean. Who did it?"
Early the next morning Benny made his way to the stable. He hadn't been able to find any real peace either. So he wanted to check on Arrow. The sky slowly became brighter, making last night's frost glitter like stars. It had been the coldest night yet. He lit the lanterns and then ran the boxes. Everything seemed quiet, but when he glanced into Arrow's box, he had to do a double take.
There, right next to Arrow in the hay, lay Y/N and she was pretty pale. Benny walked straight towards her, which startled the horse, but it remained calm on the ground. Upon closer inspection, Benny saw that Y/N had sweat on her forehead and her lips were blue.
He didn't have to think about it for long. Benny lifted her out of the hay into his arms and made his way to the castle. She urgently needed to get somewhere warm and Dean needed to know about it too. He hadn't left the stable when Alex stood in front of him, looking quite frightened.
"Go call Dean. Tell him I found Y/N and that she needs help." Benny ordered, but Alex didn't seem to be able to move. "GO!"
Suddenly the young man came back to life and turned around to run back into the castle. Benny also hurried to get there while speaking quietly to the woman in his arms. He noticed how she was shaking and the cold radiating from her body worried him deeply.
He was just walking in the door when Dean appeared in front of him and took Y/N into his arms. But the two were not alone. Apparently Alex had woken up half the castle.
"Benny, ride off and bring the doctor here immediately! Don't take any detours and if he refuses, then tell him that money doesn't matter!" Dean called over his shoulder as he hurried up the stairs with Y/N.
Millie followed Dean straight up the stairs and opened the bedroom door for him when they reached the top. After they entered, Millie pulled back the covers so Dean could lay Y/N there and tuck her right back in.
"Millie, can you please get a few more blankets from the guest rooms? I'll light the fire in the meantime so that it gets warm in here."
"Of course." Milllie said and set off straight away.
After Millie disappeared from the room, Dean looked down at Y/N. Her face was so pale that her blue lips formed a shocking contrast. God, this was all his fault. Just because he once again spoke first before he could think about his words. So he did something useful and started the fire in the fireplace.
Still, it took over an hour for Benny to get back. Only he didn't have the doctor with him, but someone else. A thin man with dark skin sat on another horse. Not as dark as Cassie's skin, but different nonetheless. He wore a turban on his head.
“Doctor MacGregor wasn’t home. He was called to an emergency in Dundreggan last night. But his guest from India is also a doctor." Benny pointed to the man next to him and introduced him. "This is Mr. Gupta. He's an... ajurwedish doctor. Correct?"
"Yes." the man said with an strong accent. "And I'm here to help. If you're willing to let me."
For a moment Dean was skeptical, but then he remembered that every second counted. And so he gave the man his hand and explained the situation to him as they made their way up to Y/N. He saw the concerned and puzzled looks from some of the others they passed, but he ignored them.
Mr. Gupta examined Y/N thoroughly, explaining every step and his findings to Dean. They had already done the right thing by wrapping her up warm and heating the room well, but that wouldn't be enough.
"She is hypothermic. Her body temperature is already in the critical range. Under no circumstances should the room lose heat. At some point she will try to free herself from the blankets, but that must not happen either."
Meanwhile, Millie was back in the room and she and Dean took in all the information and agreed on care for Y/N in the next few days.
"In addition, I will prepare a decoction and a warming paste for her. If used regularly, her condition should improve in the next week. But it will take time."
But Dean didn't care. The main thing is that Y/N would feel better soon. He wouldn't lose her like this. That was out of the question.
Y/N felt weird. She felt hot and cold at the same time, her head was pounding and she was shaking. She noticed noises but couldn't identify them. In general, she didn't know whether she was dreaming or awake.
Whenever she tried to free herself from the sea of blankets under which she felt buried and was sweating from the heat, Dean's face appeared above her, encouraging her to stay under the blankets.
Other times, when the cold made her shiver and she felt the blankets being pulled away, she tried to bury herself under them again. But even then Dean's face appeared, reassuring her that it wouldn't take long as he caressed her. But when he stopped, these parts of his body became really warm and drove away the cold.
And sometimes she had a terrible spicy taste in her mouth that made her thirsty. Then Millie was with her to help her drink. Or were those just dreams too? She simply couldn't tell the difference and so she always hoped that her consciousness would just slip back into the silent nothingness where she could no longer feel anything.
The next time Y/N woke up she felt different. More awake with a clearer mind. She was still cold, but she finally felt like herself again. And she realized that this wasn't a dream. She was really awake. With tired limbs, she moved slowly and moaned slightly.
"Y/N? Y/N!" She heard Dean's excited voice and searched for him with her eyes once she got used to the brightness.
"How are you? Do you need anything?" suddenly he was at her side, holding her hand.
"No, I... I'm fine. I'm just... a little tired and I'm still a little cold." She said quietly, wondering what even happened.
But it didn't take long for the memories to catch up with her again. She didn't go back the night after she escaped. She had fallen asleep at Arrow's side and had lain in the freezing stable all night. It had been her own fault.
She saw Dean take a deep breath and close his eyes briefly before speaking again. "Stay there. I'll call Millie and the doctor." and then he disappeared through the door.
Half an hour later, Dean made his way outside and walked over to Sam, who was chopping firewood. With a firm step he ran towards his brother, who looked at him worriedly after noticing him. Sam put down the axe.
"Dean? Is everything okay?"
"Yes. Yes, everything is fine." answered the older man, took the ax in his hand and began to boldly chop wood.
"Are you sure? Is something wrong with Y/N?" Sam probed.
"No." he swung the axe. "She woke up and was lucid again." again the ax thundered downwards. "She's doing much better than she has in the last few days." with the third blow the log was split.
But then Sam realized what was really going on with his brother. He had seen how the guilt had eaten away at Dean over the last few days. He had made huge accusations against himself, even if he hadn't admitted it. So Sam left him alone with the firewood, knowing that Dean would have to use it to release his pent-up emotions. But still the hope spread within him that this was finally the turning point.
An hour later, most of the firewood had been cut down and Dean was sweaty and exhausted. But he felt better. Now it was time to start all over again.
He made his way back into the castle when Mr. Gupta came out. Dean thanked him for his help and said goodbye to him with kind words. The doctor had made another decoction and prescribed Y/N two more days of bed rest in addition to a hot bath, but he was sure that she would recover completely. She just had to take it slowly and Dean would make sure of that.
When Dean came into the bedroom, it wasn't as warm as before and Y/N was still sitting in the hot tub. She was slightly startled when she saw Dean come in, but didn't say anything. That hit Dean a little, but he could also understand her behavior. After all, he was guilty of it himself and it was entirely up to him to change that.
He undressed and walked towards the tub. Y/N scooted forward to make room for him and once he was in the tub, she wanted to get out. But Dean stopped her and made her sit back down. He picked up the bar of soap that was lying on a small stool next to the tub and immediately recognized the scent. That's why Y/N always smelled so seductive.
By now the bar of soap was pretty thin and he made a mental note that he needed to bring her some again. After Dean had cleaned himself up, he leaned back in the tub and gently pulled Y/N along by the shoulders. She reacted a little stiffly at first, but quickly relaxed again and secretly enjoyed the feeling of finally being able to be so close to Dean again.
When the water slowly got cold, they got out of the tub again. Dean first so he could grab a towel for Y/N. He held it out to her openly after Y/N also had both feet on dry land and wrapped it around his shoulders. Suddenly they were so close. Body to body, face to face that Dean cleared his throat and had to take a few steps back so he didn't do anything rash.
"Dry yourself off and then go back to bed. I'll get you some real food." Dean said as he quickly got dressed and then disappeared from the room.
Later that evening, when Y/N was slowly making her way to dreamland again, Dean sat by the fire and looked over at the bed. Y/N lay there with her eyes closed, cheeks rosy, hair down and a relaxed expression on her face. And for the first time in days, Dean was able to breathe deeply.
After he had brought his wife and himself something to eat upstairs and they were sitting together, he remembered a situation that had happened in his childhood. On one of their trips when he and Sam were younger, his brother once fell into a frozen lake. Her father noticed immediately and didn't hesitate for a second to pull him out and Sam was quickly fine again.
Nevertheless, he had told Y/N about it and she seemed to just absorb his words. So he didn't stop talking. He told her about many things and she literally hung on his every word. Why hadn't he done this before? It was so easy to confide in her and even though he didn't like talking about himself in general, he felt comfortable with Y/N in doing so.
The tiredness slowly overcame him and so it didn't take long until Dean settled down in bed. Moving close to Y/N, he quickly fell asleep too.
But just a few hours later, Dean woke up with a start. He didn't know why, but his hand immediately searched the side of the bed next to him, expecting to feel Y/N. But her side was empty and already cold.
“Y/N?” he exclaimed, sitting up at the same time.
"I am here. I couldn't stay lying down anymore." She replied quietly with a smile and his eyes found her directly.
She was sitting by the fire, her hair falling over her shoulders and she had a book in her hand. But Dean couldn't take his eyes off of her. The orange glow of the flames painted her face and made her appear almost angelic. Dean's breath caught in his throat and he sank back onto the bed.
'God, she is so beautiful. Why didn't I notice this before?' he thought to himself.
After a moment he straightened up slightly and looked over at Y/N again.
“Will you please come back to bed?”
Y/N looked at him a little surprised, but then nodded. "Okay."
She put her book aside and came back to the bed. Dean had already lifted the blankets, implicitly inviting her to slide closer to him. Y/N was very happy to accept this offer. Once she was at his side, her head on his chest, he covered them both again.
"You really scared me." Dean said shortly afterwards into the comfortable silence.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." Y/N replied quietly.
Dean looked down at Y/N. "Please don't just run away again. Not until I can talk to you."
Upon those words Y/N looked up at Dean. "I won't. I promise." and she meant it, because she wouldn't be able to go through this again.
They looked deeply into each other's eyes and suddenly it was as if time stood still. Dean couldn't hold back anymore. With a hand on her cheek, he leaned down to Y/N until his lips were on hers. He kissed her carefully at first, but Y/N didn't seem to mind the kiss. And as soon as Dean felt her tongue on his lower lip, he was done for.
He deepened the kiss and turned a little more towards Y/N, who was able to put her leg on his hip. His hand moved up her thigh until it came to rest on her ass.
She buried her hands in his hair and began to slowly rub herself against him. She moaned slightly into his mouth while his hand, which was on her butt, went back to wandering. The nightdress that Y/N was wearing had slipped onto her own hips. With his thigh he opened her legs a little more so that his already stiff cock could nestle against her warm center.
Dean could already feel how wet she was and he had to hold himself together not to just push into her. But when Y/N's hand landed on his ass shortly afterwards and she pushed him closer to her, he literally slid into her. So he turned her so that she was lying on her back and sank his last few inches into her.
They both groaned and Dean wasted no time. He moved slowly but forcefully inside her. He carried out each of his thrusts with passion as he uncovered Y/N's breasts and caressed them there with his mouth. He licked her nipples and bit them tenderly, making her moans grow louder.
At some point he picked up the pace a little and licked from her breasts over her collarbone to her neck. That bittersweet pressure built up inside Y/N again and she searched with her lips for Dean's, who was only too happy to kiss her back.
He felt Y/N start to throb around his cock and began to chase his own orgasm. Y/N moved with him, holding onto his shoulders and as she jumped over the edge, he followed her just seconds later. He poured himself deep and hard into her while Y/N enjoyed the aftershocks.
They both looked deeply into each other's eyes as their pulses slowly calmed down. But neither really wanted to let go of the other. So they lay there entangled in each other and fell asleep together again.
A/N: I told you that everything would get better again. Let's just hope it stays that way. 😶 Let me know what you think. Feedback is very much appreciated! 💜
@chriszgirl92 @elenasalvatore1 @laurensfangirlingsideblog @moonxlightsworld @muhahaha303
@stoneyggirl2 @ladysparkles78 @allthosepeopleilovetofangirlover @ninii-winchester @itsdesiree86
@foxyjwls007 @jtink27 @tommysaxes @monkey-d-hoshizora98 @aylacavebear
@suckitands33 @pillowjj @hobby27 @mischiefnevermanaged89-blog @winchesterwild78
@nikimisery @acid-spiderr @deangirl96 @lyarr24 @k-slla
@iloveeveryoneyoureamazing @stanzie @mochminnie @ettadear @globetrotter28
@leila22rogers @whimsyfinny @a-girl-who-loves-disney @goest-and-fuckest-thyself
@zepskies @star-girl-05 @tmb510 @louisianalady @deansimpalababy
@livsh20 @livya99 @whichwitchwanda @sydneyabcd @emotionsmgcbabe
@taylor-will-be-the-death-of-me @deans-spinster-witch @strepsils123 @7leb-kakaw @psychicbouquetblaze-stuff
@thebiggerbear @wattpaduser200 @berryblues46 @viviwatchestv @roseamie07
@fics-pics-andotherthings-i-like @yellowumbrelllaaa
#rightfully deceived#midevial!au#spn#dean winchester x reader#dean x reader#jensen ackles#supernatural#scotish men#scotland
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Would the Bat boys date someone older or younger?
---___---___---___---___---___---___---___---___---_
Bruce Wayne: Younger. I feel like this man needs someone younger than him to balance out how old he sometimes feels. He likes how easy it is to impress you and how excited you get over his stories or the "simple" acts like a five star dinner or 12 course meal. He likes how bubbly and energetic you are because living in Gotham hasn't completely sucked the life out of you the way it has to most people his own age. The media isn't surprised to find out he's going out with someone in their mid to early 20's, it's honestly expected but only a few people realize how genuine it is. That it's not because of the thrill of being with someone half his age that makes him love being with you, it's the gratification of finding someone so much purer, who reminds him of what his mission is really about— keeping people like you safe.
---
Tim Drake: Older. He wouldn't necessarily seek it out, or reject anyone his own age, but those relationships would definitely fall apart because he always felt some kind of disconnect. He would gravitate towards someone of more maturity who would take care of him, who he could be the little spoon with and have his hair stroked by or his tie (when he had to wear one) straightened. He had been forced to grow up fast, and was naturally to someone 6 or 7 years older at least, if not more. He knows being seen with you would make a splash and going out to public would make things way worse, but he doesn't care if the media calls him a 'cub' nearly as much as it bothers him when they say he has 'mommy issues' of when they call you a 'cougar' for going out with him.
---
Dick Grayson: Either. He honestly doesn't care about age, he'll find a way to play it up either way. This man wants to lord over you the fact that he's older than you. He likes knowing he has more life experience than you and that he can take care of you. You just have to deal with him always claiming seniority. But! If you're older, that's fine too. He can't wait to be your arm candy, to tease you for going after someone younger and playfully call you a 'mature older partner.' When the media finds out, no one is surprised. No one so much as comments on the age difference because he's his father's son and dating someone with a 8 year age gap isn't unexpected
---
Jason Todd: Younger. If he had an older partner, he would feel babied and that already happened enough with his family. But someone a couple years younger, maybe by three or four makes him feel younger too. Like being with you gives him back the time that was stolen from him when he was dead. He likes how sweet and kind you are, how easy it is to make you laugh. He fears, sometimes, how dark the city is compared to you and tries his best to shield you from it. But you can handle a bit of darkness, when it's from him.
---
Damian Wayne: The same age. He would refuse anyone younger and couldn't stand anyone older. The same age. You need to be born in the same year as him, at least. Preferably with six months, just to make the difference as small as possible. He'll still want to technically be older, though, so in every argument he can mention it. You're at the same stage in life, he likes that you seem headed in the same direction, that you'll (eventually) grow old together and neither of you will be without the other for long since you'll probably pass away in a similar time frame too. He likes that nothing either of you say is outdated to the other and never will be. He likes that he doesn't have to teach you and doesn't feel like you're trying to teach him. You're simply learning about life together.
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Hey! I wanted to start off by saying I ADORE your writing!
I was wondering if you’d write a first kiss list for thorin’s company like you did with the fellowship? I think it’d be so cute with a human reader who’s pretty short, she’d be around 5’1”-5’2”-ish?
Hope you have an absolutely wonderful rest of your day love, happy writing! 💝☺️
Hi! Sorry it's still taking me so long to clear my inbox, but I'm slowly getting there. I hope you have a wonderful day as well darling ❤️
*・༓˚✧ ❝𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐧'𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬❞ ‧͙⁺˚༓˚✧ « scenarios »
○ Thorin ○ Fíli ○ Kíli ○ Dwalin ○ Bofur ○ Bilbo ○
Gender-neutral reader | Wordcount : 1.1k | TWs : None
𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐧
✧ Thankfully, he’s just tall enough to be able to kiss you without you needing to bend down. A fact that, when the two of you are together, his mind keeps trying to remind him of.
✧ But he wants to make sure that it’s a special moment, a moment worthy of the two of you.
✧ Eventually, it happens when he’s first showing you the Halls of Erebor for the first time.
✧ The feeling of happiness is finally all around, almost infectious, and he can see the wonder in your eyes as you look around at everything else.
✧ Looking around at the treasure, you can finally appreciate its beauty. There’s a grin on your face; all that you’d worked for is finally coming to fruition.
✧ And then you turn around, and Thorin is standing directly behind you.
✧ There’s love in his eyes - but it isn’t directed at the treasure hoard. It’s directed at you.
✧ Stepping forward, he bridges the gap between you and looks slightly up.
✧ Leaning forward as you well, the two of you kiss.
✧ Even in the Halls of Erebor, the most perfect thing in their (to him) is you.
𝐅𝐢𝐥𝐢
✧ The two of you had been dancing around each other for a while, when he’d finally confessed.
✧ And now the two of you are dancing around your first kiss.
✧ Every now and then the moment seems almost perfect, but something interrupts you. And in the end it’s not the moment you were expecting at all.
✧ Kíli and Tauriel are spending slightly too much time together for your liking, although at least it means you and Fíli both have something to laugh and tease about.
✧ It’s then, when you’re laughing about it, that you mention something about them kissing.
✧ The comment is so small, but somehow - amid the laughter - the two of you catch each other's eyes.
✧ And the gap somehow closes, him enclosing more quickly and moving as fast as he can to close the gap.
✧ When you properly kiss he isn’t quite needy, but there’s something passionate in it, and both of you recognise how much the other wants this.
✧ After a few seconds he pulls away, his mouth about to ask a question. If you wanted it, if you enjoyed it as much as he does.
✧ Kissing him again is your way of answering ‘yes’.
𝐊𝐢𝐥𝐢
✧ He tries not to make it too obvious how much he wants to kiss you, although it’s fairly obvious.
✧ At first the glances are more subtle - less noticeable more because of how much his eyes flitted around, not wanting to be seen staring at you.
✧ But as you grow more comfortable around each other, and he stares, he doesn’t look away as soon as you realise. Instead he blushes, giving a sheepish grin before turning.
✧ The two of you are talking together, and you feel his gaze briefly go to your lips. His cheeks begin to go pink again, but this time you will Kíli not to look away.
✧ And he doesn’t.
✧ Leaning slightly closer, he takes a deep breath, “May I- please?”
✧ “Yes.” You barely breath back, but it’s still your lips that press to his first (although he’s the one to deepen it).
✧ Eventually coming apart Kíli‘s eyes are shining, and his whole face is glowing with a smile. “You’re… perfect.”
𝐃𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐧
✧ You notice him staring as well, although the warrior has much more decency. He still blushes just as much, but he looks away quickly as well - sometimes with a muttered apology.
✧ He’s also tall enough for you to not have to bend over to kiss him. A fact that comes into his mind slightly too often for his liking.
✧ Dwalin truly doesn’t try to imagine kissing you, even when you begin courting. He wants to take this slowly, to be a gentleman.
✧ And, in the end, it’s you who initiates the contact.
✧ There’s only a few steps between you when you suddenly step forward more, before the words catch in your throat.
✧ But your intention is clear, and as he moves slightly closer you don’t move away. Gently, the two of you both move into each other to close the gap - his hands light going up into your hair, and of course you don’t mind.
✧ During the kiss he’s ever so light with his touch, it’s up to you to deepen it. You can tell he wants a little more, but that he’ll always wait for you. And with a second kiss you reassure him that you want this too.
𝐁𝐨𝐟𝐮𝐫
✧ Early in the relationship, it becomes obvious the two of you want to kiss. That there’s not too much he’d like more, especially now that the two of you are courting.
✧ But he’s still too shy to initiate it, instead the two of you sharing glances or the occasional touch that’s a second too short.
✧ Eventually, you accidentally drop something and he catches it - holding it up to you while only being a few steps away.
✧ “(Y/n)?” He prompts, before realising why you haven’t pulled away.
✧ He stays still, for a second, and then he leans in as you do. When the two of you meet he’s gentle, but he matches your pressure - and you can feel his love, his tenderness, his caring.
✧ Eventually pulling away you can see his smile, can feel his lingering touch.
✧ “I wish I hadn’t waited so long, now.”
𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐛𝐨
✧ It’s been around two weeks since the two of you have started courting, and neither of you have brought it up. Although Bilbo would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about it.
✧ Honestly, it was something he was slightly worried about. Not being able to make a romantic gesture to you, or to be able to sweep you off your feet. Not with a kiss, at least.
✧ As the two of you are on your date, he can feel some confidence come to him. And as he looks to you, he can feel his breath hitch for a second. How can he ask a creature as perfect as you to bless him?
✧ Noticing his gaze, you turn to him as well. “Yes, Bilbo?”
✧ “I-” Suddenly he’s hyper aware of how hot his cheeks are, of the distance between the two of you. “I would like… to able to kiss you. Or for you to kiss me, if you could. It’s not something you-”
✧ You can sense the beginning of a ramble, and leaning down slightly you do exactly what he asks.
✧ There’s a second as he almost seems shocked before instantly leaning up to you, getting as close as he can, staying this close to you for as long as he can as well.
✧ “I…. well, you are incredible. Thank you.”
A/N : Guess who's back? It's me, how are you all? Sorry I've been gone so long, and have a busy next two weeks so might disappear again, but just wanted to say thanks for the support & love you all. Have a great day/night!
« masterlist » thank you for reading *・༓˚✧ Taglist : @celestialhole / @starwars2222 / @withasideofmeg / @nilintakan / @wordbunch / cont. in comments✧ wish to be tagged?
#the hobbit x you#the hobbit x reader#thorin's company x you#thorin's company x reader#thorin x you#thorin x reader#fili x reader#fili x you#kili x you#kili x reader#dwalin x reader#dwalin x you#bofur x reader#bofur x you#bilbo x reader#bilbo x you#bilbo baggins x reader
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I think the thing about your first response that is provoking knee-jerk reactions (at least, it did for me) is that it implies that character death's only purpose in fiction is to "maximize pain" for the readers, and that any other purpose it might serve can be found through other means. And I don't think that's true at all.
To a certain extent I agree with the OP commenter that it's not necessary to kill a character simply for 'emotional impact' or 'realism'. If an author's main goal with a character death is just to "inflict maximum pain" on the reader, then that's probably not very good writing, and not "necessary". The death needs to do more than just hurt the reader; it should affect the story in some way, either in how other characters react to the death, or how events change because of it.
But I also agree with friskdaferret's argument that some character deaths are necessary for the story that the author is trying to tell. That's the key. Could they choose to write it a different way? Sure. They're the author, it's their story, it's all made up. But then it would be a different story.
I know that you consider the Holes argument to be a bit of a tangent, but for the sake of using an example that's already been brought up, Sam's death in Holes serves a particular purpose in the story. It reflects real-world racism in a very direct way: black men being lynched for having a relationship with a white woman (or after being accused of assaulting/touching a white woman, whether they did or not) is a real fact of American history. It's an ugly fact, and it's something that Louis Sacher decided was important to include in the story. For some kids reading that book, it may even have been their first exposure to that sort of racism. Having Sam leave Kate for other reasons, as you suggest, would change the story, and would make a different point. It's not the story Louis Sacher was trying to tell.
Your argument, if I understand correctly, is that sometimes, the potential pain inflicted on a reader who is very attached to the character might outweigh an author wanting to make a particular point or tell a particular story. How then, do we handle telling stories that are inherently about painful topics? What is the "utilitarian calculus" as it relates to a story like Orpheus and Eurydice which is about grief; or tragedies like Hamlet?
I also think that if you're going to make that argument, you have to consider the other side - that is, what benefit do those deaths, as written, bring to readers? Why has the author included it in the story? What do people get out of it? That answer is going to be different for different readers and stories, but there is a reason that death has been such a prominent trope in human storytelling since forever. Death and grief are inherent, immutable facts of life, and so storytellers are going to find ways to engage with and examine it.
Two examples that came to mind while I was thinking about this post were The Fault in Our Stars by John Green and Babel by R.F. Kuang. Both of those books contain absolutely devastating moments of loss in connection with characters we have become very close to as readers. I don't think I've ever cried as hard at a story as I cried at those two books in particular.
Both of those stories would not be what they are, or say what they wanted to say, if those deaths didn't happen. They are a book about cancer and a book about imperialism and the violence it engenders, respectively. Both those topics are impossible to handle without at least talking about death.
Now, would I give people a warning before I recommend those books to them? Absolutely, because it's the sort of thing you probably want to be in the right headspace for. But do I think that those books should have been written differently, just because the stories were painful? Absolutely not.
I don't know that I agree with any sort of utilitarian argument about the potential effect of a character death on readers vs its function in the story, in part because that sort of thing is impossible to quantify. How would you ever possibly judge what was "too much"? It's entirely subjective, and in the end, authors do not have control over what a reader's reactions to their story will be.
I also think that to a certain extent, readers are responsible for their own reading experience. If a person does not want to encounter painful moments in their reading, that is their responsibility to tailor their reading accordingly. If they as a reader know they are prone to making deep connections with characters such that it might genuinely hurt them if that character then dies, they can take steps to avoid those sorts of stories, or to use sites like doesthedogdie.com to check whether a story has something that they don't want to/can't engage with. But it's not an author's responsibility to tailor their story so that it doesn't make anyone sad. That's not the point of fiction.
Fiction is a reflection of life, and a way for us as humans to examine and process all aspects of it, including the aspects that hurt, that are awful, the parts that don't make sense. It's perfectly valid for someone to not want to engage with challenging fiction, but to say that authors shouldn't be writing it at all because it might somewhere cause someone grief? I can't agree with that.
im starting to think you guys dont like it when stories make you feel things
#literature#philosophy#my thoughts went a lot of different directions with this so i apologize if this is a little scattered#but basically death isn't going anywhere and so stories where death occurs are not going anywhere#i do think character deaths need to be earned#but killing a character is not inherently bad
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Won't lie, I do think it is wild to think about the fact that probably a majority of people that enjoy Content SMP only know it from the videos on Youtube.
Like they don't know about the secret Arathain and Luxintrus tumblr lore posts, or they aren't in the Rattiest Gang discord to see the lore discussion where the ccs sometimes drop pretty significant teasers or answers regarding the server and its characters. Like they might know the overall story, but they certainly do not know the lore lore that like fundamentally changes how you see certain characters and certain plot points.
Like the fact that most people probably know the Mason as just a silly guy that just snuck in the increased netherite rates and was probably a decent dad to Lux, instead of the Wheelbearer that committed multiple atrocities, including kidnapping at least two children that he psychologically manipulated and subjected to a whole lotta trauma of the religious variety and much violence against (one of which is Lux), and that the increased netherite rates were part of some deal he made with Charter is slightly insane to me. Like just everyone acts like this guy just was there as a guy and that is the extent, when oh boy fellas you don't know the other half of it.
This is also not getting into like any other characters, though compared to the Mason, I can't say the perception difference for any of them is as signficant. But also yeah the Charter lore is also a whole nother can of worms that even I haven't been able to dig up and understand everything about in the discord. But people also keep mistaking Arathain as the characters and that the character that appears after Lux gets killed is not the Mason, but the Augur, who you only know their name if you read the most recent post from Arathain and also fucking ate Mouthpiece in the metaphorical and/or literal way.
Like I am glad that by itself the videos themselves show a clear and enjoyable story for the people only knowing about it from there, and that is the extent they might need to do to engage with it as a fan. But it is just absolutely crazy to me that like a significant amount of people that like Content SMP just will never know the extensive lore because it is never mentioned at all by the ccs themselves and you never would know unless you like happen to accidentally stumble across it and after a few times you get enough clues to try to actively look for it and suddenly it feels like you are now on a scavenger hunt for lore 😭
#content smp#saph rambles#i guess this might be a slight criticism on the format of how Content SMP shows its story#but like i still like it and enjoy it but it does feel like i am standing in the corner with the punch cup#and sometimes it gets a bit rough to try to discuss lore when a good chunk of ppl don't know like 30% of the stuff they need to#but again still a good story#just the lore enthusiasts just have to suffer and work for it as they usually do in every fandom lmao
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Schezo Wegey Guide
Before we begin, I'd like to remind everyone that these summations are based on my understanding of the characters, and what I've observed of them within the games. Sometimes, that comes with a little bit of extra analysis and headcanons, which are inherently interpretive. Those headcanons are not to be taken as the Absolute Authority on the characters. These entire guides are not meant to be Absolute Authority. They're about giving a good look at the characters as they're shown to us, based on what I know.
Also, follow-up questions are always welcome.
That out the way,
Schezo Wegey is motivited entirely by a never-ending desire to gain more power. So he says.
First thing's first, let's discuss his accidental double-entendre's. While it's extremely tempting to try to force as many of them as possible in his dialogue (I know I've been guilty of it), he doesn't make those slips that often.
Generally, his freudian slips happen when he's excited, flustered, or irritated. Or in other words, when he's not taking the time to actually think about the words he's saying.
(He is, after all, trying to break the habit) (via practicing his speech to a handmade doll) (that he made himself)
The slip-ups are of greatest effect when he forgets to say a word, or says the right words in the wrong order, or mispronounces something (as opposed to, for instance, saying the word "come" with weird emphasis)
One good example that actually comes from Puzzle Pop (despite how he is in the rest of the game): "If you don't feel capable of doing this yourself, I'd be happy to play with [Carbuncle] myself for this next match."
Most importantly, it's unintentional. That's the whole point.
Amitie (and perhaps Lidelle) doesn't know what the word "creeper" means, but since Arle calls Schezo a creeper, she does too. It's more of an affectionate nickname than an insult, coming from her
Schezo's age is unknown. Granted, most of the cast's exact age is unknown, but Schezo stands out in that there's not a clear frame of reference of how old he is beyond "older than 14 and younger than Satan," which encompasses a rather wide range of possible ages.
Other characters usually address him as a young man-- which is noteworthy, since Satan looks like a young man but is immediately pegged as a geezer.
(Personally, I read him as in his early- to mid-twenties)
A fairly common interpretation (at least in my circles) of his history is that Schezo's mind/personality was corrupted as part of the process of inheriting the power and title of Dark Mage from Runelord.
This corrupted Schezo was the one Arle met at the start of Madou 2: Schezo with a body count, Schezo with minions, Schezo looking to abduct and murder others for the sake of harvesting their magic from them.
This interpretation continues that, thanks to his interactions with the core Madou cast, Schezo eventually overcame the corruption, resulting in the Dark Mage we know now.
Either way, it's a fact that he's not quite the edgey boy he used to be, and is aware of that fact.
He is still interested in becoming powerful, but is significantly less inclined to taking power by force, preferring to instead earn or win it.
But more than that, what he really wants is a life of peace and quiet. He will never get it.
And even more than that, he wants to keep close to Arle, Rulue, Witch, and (to an extent) Satan.
He once admitted to Arle that he needs her in his life. Arle just assumed he was trying to say "I want your power" again.
Perhaps he is scared of succumbing to corruption again in their abscence?
Schezo's preferred habitat is cave.
The cave in Primp Town that he's squatting in is one that used to be frequented by Klug (as seen in Fever 1). It's full of crystals that can be used for magic.
Despite living in a cave, he's still able to cook and bake as he feels a need to. How he manages it is an excellent question.
He adores cuteness and cute critters, but tries to not let it show around others. Acorn frogs, onion pixies, Carbuncle (sometimes), fish-mode Salde, palm-sized elephants, and Amitie's hat (with or without its power) are known subjects that endear him.
He and Witch are close, especially after Schezo saved her grandmother. And then declined to steal her magic immediately afterwords because of her weakened state.
They tend to bicker and/or try to exploit each other when they do bump into each other, however.
Schezo is analytical and observant, able to get accurate reads on people he spends time around when he cares to. It was he that figured out Ringo's fear of ghosts had nothing to do with them being "unscientific."
He also has powerful magic sensing ability, able to accurately detect how much magic power someone or something has on sight.
He can also determine the source of ongoing magical effects, if he's familiar with said sources.
He is able to communicate telepathically with the Dark Sword, though how often they communicate is unknown.
He's only ever silly as a means to an end. Anything beyond that is either an accident or concentrated sarcasm. Usually he has no patience for shenanigans, especially from other people.
He's not very patient about being around other people in general. This is a result of both introversion and social awkwardness (he does not know how to respond to positive interaction in the slightest).
The most likely of the regular cast to complain about the damn kids today (without being one of the damn kids himself).
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The other thought i had!!
Concerning the fact that i have cats and i know their nature.
Mostly. The fact that if you get up from your seat and you turn back two seconds later to see your cat in your seat.
So you pick up the cat and put it on the ground and turns back... to see your SECOND cat in your seat.
Picture this. With nightmare and the many many many cats in the castle.
Sometimes nightmare has those like days where he is on his throne and some people come to ask him stuff.
These moments are rare for two reasons.
it is a waste of time because nightmare can solve many more thing from his office
The cats like the throne. A LOT.
Nightmare has stood by his throne before. A car in each hand. And a cat in each tendril. And there are STILL at least four cats very comfortable in his throne.
The knights have had to help with this issue before. The problem is that the cats LARGELY outnumber the people in the castle. So nightmare and his three knights (and cross pre knight) have stood there before all holding cats and keeping cats back with their feet. And there were still cats on the throne.
The problem is. The cats dont always do this either. It happens randomly and ALWAYS at times when ccino is busy. So they struggle for a bit before giving up and calling for ccino because he just needs to click his tongue and the cats leave the throne.
This did also help make the guards/maids/servants like nightmare more. Because nightmare stood there with multiple cats just talking normally to them
Nightmare: i understand you want to lay there but i need to work.
Cat: meow!
Nightmare: i know it is warm thanks to the sunlight. But i need it.
Cat: meow!!
Nightmare: i know. After i am done you can relax again.
Nightmare may not know the cats names but he cares for them deeply and loves them all.
Okay that was my other thought :D
YOU🫵🫵🫵 I have been thinking about this nonstop and needed to doodle it so so badly- (relief from the angst, haha!)
But yeag... as a fellow cat owner this is DEFINITELY something that happens ever single time he tries to use his throne. (And I love the idea that the castle morale boost because Night's just in there having full conversations with the kitties... waughh....
#new age au#please ignore that Killer and Cross didn't make the final cut 🙏😭#I got distracted by customizing the cats and got tired lol-#I like to think Nightmare only knows Princess by name and often just looks to Killer if he needs the others names#and Killer's always like 'Oh! that's Geraldine :]' !#and Nightmare roles with it hehe-#also no bonus commentary this time it's peak as is <3#!!!! Bonus easter egg tho. the bottom right Tendril cat unintentionally ended up looking like my cat! so that's fun!
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zuko discovered his earthbending when he was around five and panicked. he can't be an earthbender. they're fighting earthbenders.
so he just. hides it. pretends he's a nonbender.
but he can't stay away from the lure of earthbending, so he sometimes practices in secret. it's really hard trying to figure things out on his own.
eventually ozai finds out about this and well. he's not happy about it. he knows it's impossible that ursa was unfaithful, which means there's no doubt zuko is his son. but if his son is an earthbender, that would call his rule into question- so he pretends zuko is a bastard and disowns him.
it's fine. he was always a failure anyways.
kenzo 100% knows zuko is not his grandson. zuko does not know this. kenzo does not know who exactly zuko actually is- it's not really important anyways. he's a child who was traveling all alone. he needs a warm bed and food in his stomach. a place to stay where he can be safe.
he assumes that zuko might be from the colonies- maybe even of mixed blood, given that he clearly has never had any formal earthbending training in his life.
the villagers are a little suspicious of zuko at first, given the fact that he's obviously fire-blooded, but as time goes on they kind of forget their suspicions. if kenzo says he's his grandson, that's good enough for them.
lao beifong is a frequent patron of kenzo, and therefore zuko travels to gaoling often to deliver his finished commissions. lao has absolutely asked kenzo to teach his daughter toph the art of pottery at one point, feeling that it would be a fine pastime for his poor blind daughter, but kenzo took one 'look' at her and was like. what this young girl wants is not a peaceful life of pottery.
kenzo is not completely blind, but can only make out vague shapes and outlines. he lost his eyesight much later in his life, due to an illness. he was already working as a potter then and had to relearn his craft.
zuko ends up befriending toph. of course he does.
toph: huh. who's this guy and why is he lying about what his name is. ah well. none of MY concern.
zuko attends an earth rumble and watches as the little beifong girl absolutely thrashes grown men twice her side. hah. blind and helpless his ass. grandpa was right.
she agrees to help teach him more combative earthbending. she likes the cut of your jib, mudslinger.
you've seen: the gaang forgets toph is blind. now get ready for: toph forgets zuko isn't blind, because he's been exclusively taught earthbending by two blind people.
zuko may be doing a little light blue spiriting on the side. just a tad.
he gets roped into a standing draft of earthbenders a little bit before aang gets out of the iceberg and is just like. well. fuck. this isn't a great development but if i'll definitely draw more attention to myself if i try to desert.
the term of service is only three years. he can get through that, right? then he can go back home to grandpa.
...oh uh. huh. that is his home, isn't it?
at least he makes a new friend? sensu seems like a great guy.
coincidentally happens to be in the area when zhao captures aang. this looks like a great time to sneak out of camp and do a few blue spirit activities.
iroh helps protect the moon spirit at the north pole and later asks aang for a favor. can you keep an eye out for my nephew as you travel the earth kingdom? his father falsely disowned him as a bastard years ago and i have reason to believe he has been hiding there.
sokka: that shouldn't be too hard. a firebender in the earth kingdom should stand out.
iroh: no. he is an earthbender actually.
sokka: what.
(zuko's past, is in fact, about to catch up with him. but he has more important things to worry about- like sensu's unit being captured.
time for blue spirit activities?
hey wait is that the avatar.)
earthbender zuko would just be shun zuko getting mistaken by a blind potter for his dead grandson and then just. never leaving. he can't break this old man's heart. he ends up learning not only his craft but also a lot of other earthbending tips and tricks from the old man whom he genuinely starts to think of as his grandpa at some point.
(spoiler alert: the old man knows full well zuko isn't his grandson. in fact he doesn't even have a grandson. but the scrawny, clearly starving and definitely abused refugee kid will definitely stick around if he pretends to think otherwise.)
...and then he gets drafted into the earth king's army. well. isn't this ironic.
#iroh 100% knows that ozai knows that zuko isn't a bastard#he is relieved that his nephew successfully escaped the fire nation but the information trail from the white lotus ends there#zuko's commanders are kind of sort of aware of his blue spirit shenanigans but they just. ignore it.#yeah that's cadet akiyoshi. he likes taking long walks past curfew but it's fine. he's got insomnia you know?#earthbender zuko au
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Me: hey I improved ! I don’t have such a black-and-white thinking anymore !
Someone: *has a moral which is the direct opposite of mine*
Me: THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY.
#have you considered you are wrong ?#listen. listen. if you give more importance to objects and memories (loosing them does hurt but listen) than to human life(s)#or animals. I said human life(s) but it's really just lifes in general#i don't like you#'oh but we don't know them. they could be bad people !' so youre gonna let them die. because of a 'what if'#if the situation ever happens to you (and i hope it doesnt) i wonder how you will react when people ignore you asking for help bc#'what if theyre bad ?!'#asd#?#asd problems#autism problems#Autism Stuff#try as long as you want to change my mind im autistic that arent gonna work#not about this at least. sometimes it happens but i need facts#black and white thinking#'youd leave your house to strangers ?' if they need it ? anytime a day. especially since when it is said its not even a house i live in#who needs more than one house anyway. i get it for people going on vacation but if you live in it for a handful of weeks or months a year#why not accept for other people to live in it the rest of the year ? 'but youd have to pay! they wont !' ok. youre really debating with the#wrong person here. idc. if i really cant give them a shelter id be straightforward and they wont push further#if i can then ill ask them to gain a bit of money on their side but ill help sure#ofc itd be better if i learn to know the person/people beforehand#if i can im not letting people die in the street tho#i dont get people prioritizing objects over lifes. i just dont#i was literally raised by a very much nd father telling me 'if someone comes and asks for a shelter - you give it to them'#I- *muffled screams* 'what if theyre bad?' what if i punch you in the face#yeah they might be. they also might not. youre gonna let them die either way ?
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Brothers in Blood will trick you into thinking it’s just a silly crack scenario brought to life and Jason just concocted this plan for shits and giggles. Then you get a single page like this:
Nightwing (1996-) #121
that reveals he wanted/desperately needed shreds of acceptance even if it was coated in layers of resentment irritation and doubt after going through this:
Batman (1940-) #650
And it had to be from someone who isn’t Bruce
#jason todd#dick grayson#dc#brothers in blood#look sometimes people need to find the least vulnerable way to be vulnerable and this was that#because the fact is he is vulnerable but the last time he revealed that without undercutting the moment with jokes and giggles#it turned out fabulously wrong for him#if he distracts Dick as much as possible so he'll never find out how much of a mess he is right now or what he actually wants#he can still get that confirmation that Dick cares about him without risking something happening that would be his second final straw#even the telegram where he finally sort of reveals what this was about by thanking Dick for still having his back he has to make it wacky#the ww3 comic that preludes this is even more fascinating#because I do think the cover art is ... impactful?#Jason's holding the Nightwing suit in one hand and the red hood helmet in the other and looking solemnly at his Robin suit glass case#granted it is the pill helmet but still. anyway#he’s doing this not long after Bruce slit his throat and prior to that told Alfred to keep the glass case as in the cave in uth#because meeting Jason again changed nothing and he might as well still be dead to him so that uber-tombstone stays#ofc Jason never heard that convo but it's clear he put the pieces together by himself now while looking at the case#and he’s stranded as to what he should do + silently devastated#because he knows now that he doesn’t matter (in the only way that does matter) to the one person who was the most important in his life#after his parents were gone#so then he decides to come to Dick with this because he really is the only other person who was in his life if only very briefly#anyway that was just my interpretation of that cover but how Jason is actually written in the story is just … off in many ways#but yea#this page and that ww3 cover did kinda solidify what his motivation was for the brothers in blood arc#it was good#if only the execution of everything else was better … The premise/foundation was there
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I really hate how my physical body looks so so so much. unfortunately there isn't much I can do about it.
#ive got fat genetics from both parents families going back generations and ive been trying to lose weight forever#my stupod body likes being fat i can excercise like crazy and eat barely anything and i wont lose anything#i was excercising 2+ hours a day before i got sick and it made me stronger but i.stayed fat. now that im sick im weak and still fat.#and im not the kind of fat anybody can find pretty. if i could somehow not be fat id be decent to look at my face isnt bad#my skin is bad though my skin sucks#in my eyes im disgusting#and its so messed up because i dont think other fat people are gross#but i hate how i look so much that i cant imagine anyone being okay with it#like no matter how kind and understanding and sweet i am to people its never gonna make up for the fact that my body is grossly ugly#and i cant blame anyone for not liking me i get it.#sorry#this is a problem i have#bacause i just usually pretend my body doesnt exist and i wear pretty loose fitting dresses that cover me completely so but#even though i am what i am#sometimes you happen to meet a nice person and they are polite and dont seem disgusted by your existance so then your traitorous brain t#thinks hey maybe this person would be willing to marry us someday if they got to know us. which is so silly becuz theres no way thatd ever#so it makes me sad when i should be happy that a nice person talked to me. yay good job successful friendlyness. but it has to remind me#that i had this expectation from when i was a kid that id marry somone and have at least 3 kids and love my kids and take care of them and#give them everything i needed when i was a kid. and of course that never happened. because i never dated anyone. because people dont just#magically get married out of nowhere. its stupid. so i keep trying to be okay with whatever. but i guess i never stopped wanting a family.#which we know im aroace now so. i need to stop. but my brain is always bothering me about this.#why can't i just accept that no one will ever love me. why cant i be happy that they dont?#ive got cats#someday i will have irl friends again#sorry i think everything would be so much easier if i was just#this isnt a problem with an easy solutiom#i guess im gonna try to do the useless excercises again because at least it will look like im trying even though nothing will change
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have had a bit of my crash after flying too close to the sun this past week and you know what, it’s very annoying and also very good for me in a stabilizing way.
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;~; (tags vent)
#i feel so lonely and i dont know how to fix it#im trying to engage with people. im trying ot take space. im trying but nothing is helping#and like im hormonal so i wanna cry about it today#and like this loneliness isnt for one reason only#there's no One Thing#but so so many things making me feel like i cant connect#and even wiht making progress and even with coping and even with reminidng myself its okay to just feel bad sometimes like#i want company. i dont want online company i want irl company. i want friends. and im so miserable about the fact that i struggle to#make irl friends - not bc im not a good friend!! honestly tehre's been plenty of opportunities for me to make friends is the worst part#between work; disabilities; energy; and like interests/things to talk about its really hard to make friends (and tbh the first three-#really are the biggest drains). and i love my online friends i do i jsut. miss them all so much when i talk too much and then it hurts more#and i lost a friend group recently so im feelng really out of place#nearly everyday for the last idk. 5 months i had a group of people going “hey. love you” (even if they didnt say it verbatim daily) and lik#im so sad! and the feelings are coming out today ig cause i havenothing to do at work so im just. here#but yeah - ik part of this grief im experiencing is YET AGAIN experiencing change and loss re:friendships bc of things largely out of my#control /: and every time this happens it just brings up every single wound#im talking with my therapist about it too i just. wish friends were more permanent in my life yk?#or at least that i had friends irl still /: but all my deepest connections are all So far away#and it hurts so much to miss ppl rn im just. isolating myself#but i dont awnt to TALK. i dont want to TEXT. i dont want to hang out on a vc. i awnt to be held and loved and just talked to about anythin#other than the stresses in peoples lives. i want people to infodump to me w/o me having to Beg or Engage Correctly#i want people to tell me about themselves. jsut fucking lore dump in my inbox. its not dumping. i dont care about trauma dumping. if you do#cw i guess i jsut. im so tired. im tired of the “haiiiiii love you!!!!!” i have to do over the keyboard to have social connections#im tired of being so disabled i cant make friends bc no one wants to be friends w/ me irl and all the reasons (“ur a flake” “u cancel plans#“u never want to go out” “u never have energy” “why do you disappear when you need to recharge it makes me feel bad?” etc etc etc) all#relate to me being disabled and like.i feel like the problem. my existence is a problem. and the worst part is all iwant to do is just.#go run errands with someone. do important tasks &get a little treat to celebrate after. go to the doctor. the hospital. wherever im allowed#i want ot be a PERSON#): i jsut miss my friends#and liek im going to a thing later this month to try and make friends irl even if its just exercise friends
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.
#when i was a kid I was kinda neglected and my parents didn't like me very much but whatever#in tv there would always be these talent#and they would stare little kids with they parents being THERE and PROUD#so in my kid brain i thought: alright so to better my situation i just need to get really good at something and then they'll care for me#and the only skill i had been complimented on before was drawing#so i started teaching myself drawing#birds because i liked them and plants because i thought my mother loved and later skeletons because i was emo lol#and i think how i am so perfectionist in my art (eventhough i try to be happy with just whatever i make these days)#and i think about that quote of suzanne riveca thats like:#(my art) has to be perfect it has to be irreproachable in every way to make up for it#to make up for the fact that it's me#and about that one tweet that went something lile#sometimes we strive for pervection in our art because we hope to one day create something that doesn't look like we made it#and how i love drawing and hat that knife against my throat that hinges my life on it being good#and how no matter what i do#I can't get rid of that sinking feeling that i always have to struggle and earn my place in someones life#even when i know it's not like that and thats just the mentally ill part of my brain being loud and dumb#Like i got so many issues under controll by now#many reason to be proud! and be positive about things getting better and my own strength#but some part of my brain is still that little girl alone in all the empty rooms#and i can't get her out of there#because the strength that girl needed to make it through is the same strength i need to help myself through the waves of the aftermath#like i feel like to heal i'd need to allow mysf to be weak but that prospect of not holding myself clenxhed like a fist is so scary#and also knowing how bad my brain can be who knowd what would happen lol#and I WISH not every therapist in my city that accepts patients was a weird nutjob#so i could talk to them about it rather than the tumblr tag#but this is the hand we've been given and it's the hand we need to hold or however that goes#a few days ago someone called me charming and that was very nice#tumblr still limiting the tags to 30 😔 how is a girl supppse to therapise herself in that economy????#whatever!!! i am shattering like glass but at least i have viddy games and cool people in my life that like me despite it all and music
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@beegswaz genuinely i think my favorite tags on any of my work ever. i fucking love when people talk abt my characters like this
#its like blorbo from my show but with fucking minecraft and i love it deeply#for the record both Groda and White Eyes get socialized in the modern world like feral cats#both by the main players but it does happen at different times bc they all encountered Groda first when she held Rana hostage for bait#she'd kinda gone crazy after all those years of isolation lol#did that bc she thought Herobrine was the knight who betrayed her during the time period where people were wanting to overthrow her#(the knight worked for the royal family and was one of Groda's childhood friends. that did not last needless to say)#thankfully at the end of the day all 4 of the main players managed to get out alive though not unharmed with Groda in tow#when there's something trying to kill you every other day in this universe though they honestly cant be too mad about it#it doesnt help that Groda is just Really Stupid sometimes (all the time)#she's literally Peridot from SU in that she seems really intimidating but in hindsight is a massive dork#and also the fact that is the voice i imagine her having its so good#once her ability to use magic is taken away she's literally just like a scared feral street cat. does not know what the FUCK is going on#also rendering her communication with 3/4ths of the players useless since she only knows Galactic and no one alive knows that but Herobrine#(not helping the coincidental similarities to the knight but thats not him) she'll learn commonspeak later tho#ironically later down the line when Groda is spotted by the cult getting her magic back will be a key part in taking down White Eyes#she really does want to change for the better but she needed a LOT of shit kicked into her in order to start actually making the change#that being said when White Eyes eventually gets integrated it IS On Sight#she has had to been quite literally pried of Groda AT LEAST once by the others in order to keep from killing her#but other than that she'll be okay :) she picks up painting eventually#her open wounds are finally able to heal over once released from the influence of the Wither but she's still scarred unfortunately#mentally and physically!#but its only up from here... right?#actually since I talked abt the players first encounter with Groda im gonna reblog that aftermath comic again it still fucks#minecraft au mastertag
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