#not about books

[plantdad-dante]

The world is good, sometimes

So... I was getting pizza at this kebab joint today (Germany be like that).

And it was in this wreck of an Eastern German town, with more skeletons of former shops than is probably healthy for a town, with the kebab shop nestled into the side of a big chain super market. The town itself, btw, is about as conservative as the rest of East Germany right now, which... it’s not great. Quite the opposite of great, tbh.

Anyway, I was getting pizza, and as I was about to pay, the woman behind the counter gave me this look. This once-over that my mind immidietly filed as “oh no, this person heard of trans people”.

For context: I was wearing a binder, an MCR T-Shirt, men's shorts, and shoes with rainbow-coloured laces. I also still have a mowhawk, and had managed to give my order in my best approximation of a male voice that I can do without T. I also have zero reference for how well I pass when like this.

See, I'm an idiot, who's (relatively) fresh out of the closet, and still relies on being able to fall back on the old "oh no, I'm just very flat and gnc, haha" trick when necessary (or panicking), because that had and has worked for years (even on myself). Only that the trick hurts more, now, and I'm a really shitty liar when caught unawares.

So the woman gave me this look and I hurried to get my defences up. In my mind, I had been clocked, and this would be the first time I would have to deal with a bigot directly, and I was not prepared.

She counted out my change, handed it to me and asked, in a friendlier tone than I expected, as if she legitimately just wanted to check: “You are a boy, right?”

And I hesitated for maybe half a second (”This town is way more dangerous ground than uni, But you’re out of here within the next thirty seconds anyway, and this is the least painful way to get to the end of this exchange, so fuck it, you can bluff being cis.”), before I gave a nod (which, in retrospect, probably looked a little too enthusiastic and relieved for plausible deniability, but what can you do when social anxiety rules your brain). And she smiled and nodded, and I thought the exchange was over, but then she said:

“You know, there is someone coming in here every now and then, looks like a boy but is actually a girl.”

And I kinda stood there like... 'huh?', and I didn’t say anything to that, just took my pizza, nodded, said “Thank you” and disappeared onto the street.

The reason I write this post is... Like, I know how that last sentence sounds? But I’m telling you, I’m telling you, her smile was so warm and nice, I legit think she was being affirming. I don’t know if she was talking about a gnc woman or a trans woman (or both?), but I am quite certain she wasn’t talking about someone like me. And I am that certain, because... because she kept smiling at me like that, warm and friendly, even as my stupid voice cracked on the first syllable of “Thank you”. See... I think she knew, and I think she wanted to be nice and not assume, and so she just asked me, and then tried to reassure me, and...

And...

Well. Do you know The Grin? If you're trans, you most certainly do, and if you're cis... I guess it depends.

The Grin is a thing that happens when gender euphoria happens. It spreads across your face, and you can't stop it, you can't escape it, and it will stay there, it will stay and you will grin like a fucking idiot ("like a honey-cake horse", if you're German (gods, how I hate that phrase)), and it is the most wonderful thing in the whole world.

I was grinning like that all the way to the car, and for a good while after, and as I am typing this now, it is coming back to tug on my face yet again. Honestly, I'm kind of suprised I even made it to the car, because it wasn't just my face that had to yield to the joy. My whole body felt light as a fucking feather, my legs were half-way to jello by the time I got to sit down again, my chest felt like I could breathe fully and freely for the first time in millenia, and the whole time, I was feeling like I was a kid again, like nothing was wrong in the world, like magic was real and I alone got to see it.

The world is good, sometimes.

The world is good.

[razzafrazzle]

Just Checking In! (aka Something About Red Triangles)

[sanguinifex]

You gotta read and watch some old books and films that aren’t 100% modern politically correct. I’m not saying you should agree with everything in them but you need to learn where genres came from to understand what those genres are doing today and where media deconstructing old tropes is coming from.

Also, more often than you might think, they’re not actually promoting bigotry so much as “didn’t consider all the implications of something” or just used words that were polite then but considered offensive now.

Kill the censor in your head.

[baalzebufo]

so the book of bill is pretty good

[stemmmm]

bad youtube clickbait thumbnail that reads "I think I just had a therapy session with a DEMON???"

[bookslutskye]

so i recently got top surgery and this was on my discharge papers after a mild complication

[phantom-shell]

Fiddleford found one of his old shirts

[aimasup]

Favouritism

Bill get a hold of yourself man

[cruelnemothesis]

[beguilingcorpse]

i am glad queer representation has drastically improved in my lifetime. because now i can say that i dislike a gay book and not feel like i’m invalidating stonewall

[ered]

Here’s my take on the whole audio books vs. reading:

Oral tradition of storytelling predates written ones by millennias, and honestly, which one you like is just a personal preference.

The actual difference is

when listening, you have no idea how to write characters’ names

when reading, you have no idea how to pronounce characters’ names

hope this helps!

[plantdad-dante]

One time I bought three different plants within a week or so and then didn't name them for months, until I had this idea. I decided to be a little edgy nerd and call them Edgar, Allen and Poe, respectively. Allen and Poe have since both met a grizzly end called "Christmas Break", when I couldn't water them for two and a half weeks and I guess that was deadlier than I had expected. Edgar, on the other hand, survived without wilting in the slightest.

Now, Edgar hasn't really grown since then, either. So, on a hunch, I have repotted him today, into a slightly bigger pot. The reason I had a spare pot or two just lying around was... well. You can connect the dots.

It feels both very macabre and very appropriate to have given him the pot Allen died in. It's what he would have wanted. Probably. Maybe he's rolling in his grave at the bottom of the biodegradable waste container, Idk. My point is I have semi-accidently continued to be a little edgy nerd and Edgar will maybe hopefully finally grow a second leaf again.

[mejkosmos]

whichever madman pointed out that the new rift on bill's body in the theraprism is meant to parallel ford's cracked glasses after he emerges out of the portal,,,, MY SOUL IS YOURS TO TAKE ANYDAY MY GOSH

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bonus !!

ford about bill:

bill about ford:

[lucidloving]

@roach-works // Melissa Broder, "Problem Area" // Mary Oliver, "The Return" // @annavonsyfert // Koyoharu Gotouge, Demon Slayer // Haruki Murakami, Dance Dance Dance // David Levithan, How They Met and Other Stories // Tennessee Williams, Notebooks

[angelicgarnet]

the way people online talk about autism is getting really weird, like do they know that neurotypicals still have interests? that someone being passionate about a hobby doesn't mean they're autistic? you guys know that right