#not a single thought in my mind rn

[nowshesdoingitallthetime]

Mr and Mrs XCX, everyone!

[butlerbarbs]

some spoilers from barbatos bday event

this is so hilarious like, you know diavolo, when two people are into each other-

BUT PLS THE SHOCK ON HIS FACE

hes so annoying omg and he made everyone so sick of him and mc and im here for it

HOLDING HANDS. AND A DATE. IN PUBLIC. DUDES VERY BOLD TONIGHT

SIR. HES MAKING ME BLUSH. I WANNA KISS HIM SO BAD. URGHHHH

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

Growing up in an extremely ultra religious, cult-like family was a mindfuck for multiple reasons but that doesn't stop unfortunately, even when you escape. For example, see: The overwhelming feeling of boiling hatred and shame for who you used to be.

The angry hatred for the past person I used to be, the version of myself that mindlessly parroted my family's beliefs and listened to their every command, constantly simmered under my skin and invaded my every thought. I was embarrassed of what I used to be- even as I made friends of different ethnicities and faiths, as I listened and explored new ideas and worlds that I never knew existed, as I started the first LGBTQ+ club at my school and volunteered with kids who deserved so much more- there was always a little voice in the back of my head.

"They would hate you if they knew what you were. They would hate the horrendous teachings that were seared into your mind, the things that you used to say and believe. You are nothing but a pretender."

And it is true that my beliefs were bigoted in all the worst ways. It is true that I believed truly heart-wrenching things without a second thought and judged others in such harsh and unfair ways. I told myself that there was no coming back from that, not really. There was nothing I could do to ever make up for it.

Then I remembered that the person who said those things wore velcro light up sneakers and collected finger puppets that the librarians handed out as awards for reading picture books. The person that held signs at pro-life rallies and anti-LGBTQ+ protests had a cherished sticker book and hunted minnows in the creek after school and adored their puffle on club penguin and was really into greek mythology and had skinned knees from climbing trees at recess and knew every Disney song by heart and was absolutely terrified of the dark.

That person was a child.

I was a child.

It took a really long time. Years and years of reflection and distance, but I've decided that I can't hate the past version of myself anymore. I feel pity and remorse, I feel anger- I feel so much fury and violent rage- at what my childhood was and I grieve what could- no, should- have been, but I no longer resent who I was.

I'm not ashamed.

I am so, so, so unbelievably proud of that little kid. For being brave enough to leave the comfort and safety of what I was told was right. For not being afraid to be wrong. For seeking out information and knowledge in a culture that praised ignorance. For questioning everything, relentlessly.

I am by no means a perfect person, I never have been and I never will, but I am proud of myself in every iteration that has ever existed because I know that I have never stopped trying to understand and learn and grow, and I never will.

If you have ever been in a similar situation and feel similar things, first of all: My condolences on your lost childhood. Second of all: Please be nice to that past version of yourself and recognize all the hard work they did to make you who you are today. That person was a survivor and an inspiration. They deserve nothing but love.

[justplaggin]

bsd season 5 pv - coming july 2023

[arcaneyouth]

aheem heem...... whimper..........

[whumpy-wyrms]

me outlining tllr: i call it my “to-do to Dew list”

[rubybaely]

rewatched the darkest minds movie and rereading the book and i think that

a) movie still sucks but

b) i don't think they ever could have made a faithful and interesting movie bc so much of what makes the book and ruby compelling is her internal dialogue and her mental development and it's just so hard to translate to the screen in any way

(though the movie didn't seem to care abt giving ruby any development at all, even if they had tried it wouldn't have hit as hard as the book imo)

[rainbowonice]

buck talking to chris was actually infuriating because what do you mean that out of everything he could have told to a kid that wants to run away is that he also wanted to run away as a kid??? “texas in summer am i right?” bff😭…. he should have asked about the girl he was two timing instead what about her what about PENNY?

[thirsty-4-ghouls]

I have three thoughts that pop up every time I see a dusthide. Not all of them each time, but at least one

Most common thought: he have no ears 😭

Second most common: armadillo (armadillos have ears though, so I guess more pangolin? But the way they are segmented… the pangolin thing reminds me of their claws more though. Hmm, overthinks what species of real animals one can compare them to)

And the final one: so, remember those toys from the 2000s that you put on a magnet and they went from a ball to a little guy?

Update, I have gotten sleep and am now confused about why I was so sad every time I saw that they had no ears

[emulation-0]

i have to be one of the dumbest people alive

[kotoal1011]

this is the most incomprehensible f/o gush I have ever written in my life bear with me guys

I'm so fucking excited I haven't listened to the song yet and the gif previews are driving me insane. not to be thirsty on main but she looks hot as fuck and I believe she doesn't have any shirt under her uniform and okay yeah I admit it I wanna se her cleavage lmao. Anyway, I can't wait to see her again, I really can't, I love her so much <3<3

on the other hand I am absolutely terrified because I know she's gonna break down at some point and they're gonna show angsty™ stuff and I do NOT want to see her suffering oh fuck– and of course, unless her MV does wonders she's gonna get voted guilty and that's gonna fuck her up so fucking much she's gonna break in t3. I'm gonna vote her innocent every single day tho

me after she gets a 99% guilty verdict (I'm the 1% voting innocent)

[iwaasfairy]

hello please send ideas for little stickers pls

[chrisbangs]

.

[roseofcards90]

Okay Fate you can’t keep doing this to me 😭💀

[flutterby5]

.

[purplejan]

i was brushing my teeth and saw the biggest fucking spider omg?? everyone is asleep and i attempted to kill it but i missed and now i'm scared to go into the bathroom