#every now and then i think abt deleting every single social media and dying . like
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chrisbangs · 1 year ago
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#every now and then i think abt deleting every single social media and dying . like#i really genuinely think abt just dying fr like#👎👎👎#there's only 1 person i've been wanting to talk to lately#and like no one else lol#i just feel so fucking out of my head#why is everything so fucking bad#i barely leave the basement these days .. i just stay in bed and sleep#and i have less than a week to get the fuck over this random stupid rut i'm in#because fucking classes start on tuesday#i wanna kms so bad lol#like i would rather be dead than do another year of college rn#it's so fucking bad for me lmfao#i don't have any support or anyone to talk to and i feel like i'm going fucking crazy#i'm on academic probation is the best part so if i fuck up this semester i get kicked out which like part of me would love ik like#the part of me that's tired and exhausted and just done with everything i wouldn't mind being kicked out but#the ik . that my parents would fucking kill me knowing that i wasted 4 years worth of tuition money and just fucking flopped as a student#waking up wishing i hadn't woken up every fucking day... i feel sick inside...#my anxiety is spiking all over again and i can barely even organize my thoughts lately#i literally threw up last night cause i worked myself up into such hysterics . like lmfao...#i cant get a grip and i cant get the fuck over how bad i feel and no one fucking LISTENS when i saw i hate this and i'm not good enough for#this fucking subject i wanna fucking kill myself holy fuck it's crazy how much i wanna die..#i used to wonder abt that 4th year kid who killed himself when i was at my old uni like how fucking bad was it for him that in his last year#he just couldn't take it anymore and now i'm in the funniest position of literally understanding exactly where he was lol#last year... and i cant do it... i just cant fucking do it and i wanna kill myself i think about it every day i think about it 24/7 and#i'm just so... tired doesn't even encompass what i'm feeling right now i'm fucking exhausted and empty and i have nothing left man i cant#fucking do this... every day im dragging myself kicking and screaming to school and dealing with a 4 hr round trip commute in the shitty ass#weather that we get and getting verbally and emotionally abused by profs and getting 0 acknowledgment for ANYTHING and it's not like my work#is even GOOD enough to begin with so ofc it's not gonna get any acknowledgment like jdjdjdkdkskd i just dont . have it in me to do this#for another fucking year... i literally cannot do this... and i have no other thoughts in my head other than killing myself lmfao...
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valkyrr · 7 years ago
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1-96, just because :P
-cracks knuckles- OH BOY alright, let’s do this
full meme under the cut 
(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?
my closet doesn’t have a door!
(2) Do You Have Freckles?
YEA but they’re really faint unless i’ve been hanging out in the sun for a while
(3) Can You Whistle?
NO and I’m bitter
(4) Last Song You Listened To.
God Only Knows - The Beach Boys
(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?
atm it’s blue, but it changes often
(6) Relationship Status.
single and kind of ready to mingle i’m not really sure just gonna see how things go
(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?
66 degrees F
(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?
nope
(9) How Many Followers?
208
(10) Zodiac Sign.
Libra!!
(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?
Hazel I think,,
(12) Take A Vitamin Daily?
if you’re talking abt a daily multivitamin and not medication then NO that’s a level of health I am Not At
(13) Do You Sing In The Shower?
ofc, i’ve figured out how to balance my phone on the shower ledge w/o it getting wet so i can sing to songs lmao
(14) What Books Are You Reading?
none atm
(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.
Ferahgo watched him intently and commented, “What’s that noise? Has one of your teeth broken? Oh look, it’s fallen out. (...)”
(16) Favourite Anime?
Lupin III 
(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of?
my mom
(18) Do You Collect Anything?
Vinyls!
(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?
Crackers that may have been sitting in our pantry for ~4 months now
(20) Do You Dance In The Car?
nah, but i’ll sing
(21) Favourite Animal?
Lynx
(22) Do You Watch The Olympics?
YEA I love the Olympics!
(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?
1 AM - 3 AM
(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?
ye
(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?
Ocean
(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?
all of my mutuals tbh.....
(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?
Bottled
(28) What Makes You Happy?
Music
(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?
with, but it’s gotta be classical or smooth jazz or Chill Anime Beats 24/7 or something
(31) Dogs Or Cats?
b o t h
(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?
Orange
(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.
used to be team Xbox, i’m PS now bc i’m a traitor
(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?
Lake
(35) Do You Believe In Magic?
depends what kind!
(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?
gray
(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue?
ye
(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It?
try to save it as best i can!
(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?
no
(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?
I’m back on my Bloodborne bullshit rn but besides that I’m really getting into Kings of Convenience as a band and i’m digging their music??
(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?
YEA kid me used to chase them around, keep them for a little bit, then release them
(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?
ye, please be aware i’m gonna copy personality traits if i’m around the same person for a while
(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?
lately yeah?? but i can’t ever remember them tbh
(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes?
ye
(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.
Good Will Hunting
(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?
Peanuts
(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?
honestly I still wanna see Fleet Foxes live but i’m ~salty~ because they just came to detroit @ a venue i’ve been at before and really liked and i was busy the day of their concert
(48) Are You A Picky Eater?
not rly unless it comes to texture
(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?
tbh an atomic war could happen and if I was sleeping i’d be none the wiser
(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?
every time a thunderstorm happens i get 100% stronger
(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?
yea if i’m in the mood for it!
(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?
also depends on my mood
(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?
Carve pumpkins
(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?
The Growlers - Love Test
(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)
Summer still, but it’s starting to feel like Fall in the evenings
(56)What Are You Craving Right Now?
Pizza
(58) What Is Your Gender?
Cis girl
(59) Coffee Or Tea?
Tea all the way
(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?
No thank goodness
(61) What Is Your Sexuality?
Super Ace
(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?
I wish;;
(63) Favourite Pokemon?
Entei/ Aggron
(64) Favourite Social Media?
This hellsite
(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?
They’re cool, never use them though
(66) Do You Get Homesick?
All the time
(67) Are You A Virgin?
Ye
(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?
Idk i think it’s like “Maui moisture” or somethin, i just picked it bc it smelled pretty good
(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?
Sleep in my car, i’m a huge germaphobe abt motels/hotels in general
(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?
yes, thankfully
(71)  Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?
idk, the last one I wanted to see was Baby Driver but i don’t think it’s in theaters anymore?
(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?
i only have one(1) ex from like...... grade school. lmao. i completely forgot about him ‘till this question
(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?
this
(74) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest?
Brown eyes are VERY underrated
(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?
YEAH
(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?
Tuna + Peaches
(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?
i have Fallout Shelter but i’m thiiiiiis close to deleting it because it’s stressful af and i get way too attached to my dwellers
(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?
yea of course lmao I can’t see a reason why anyone wouldn’t???????
(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?
I used to pull internet marathons like that when I was in high school but I’m kinda over it
(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network?
never in a creepy way, but i follow a ton of bands i like on instagram and i get unreasonably exited when one of them posts something to their story
(81) Do You Like Meeting New People?
Yea!
(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.
Not often
(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?
Closed
(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?
got in touch w a friend i hadn’t talked to in a while, did some laundry, drew a bit!
(85) What Do You Wear To Bed?
usually pj shorts and a t shirt
(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.
 I have a ton of lipstick from Colourpop, a bunch o’ e.l.f. stuff, and some other misc things
(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?
Night
(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.
there’s......... so many tbh
(90) Favourite Soda Drink?
Cream Soda 
(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?
Rain on the window, cars passing on the road outside, running water
(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?
Jeans
(93) How Do You Look Right Now?
probably Bad, just chillin in my pjs 
(94) Name Something That Relaxes You.
Reading
(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?
Okay I’d love to get something in the traditional style but I’m also one of those people who would prefer a tattoo w meaning and I don’t really know of anything I’d put on my body permanently yet?? Might change down the road idk
(96) Favourite YouTuber?
I’m only rly on YouTube for the music 
thanks for the asks :)
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