#not a single other character has enough social standing to pull some shit like this off and not get punched out holy shit

[emblazons]

—you know as much as I love and adore (and would fight the world for) Mike Wheeler: there’s no escaping the fact that he’s a upper middle class white guy who is fully comfortable using his privilege, because the audacity required to say something like this is crazy LMFAO

at least he uses it for good, cause wikdjdkdkdj ☠️

[1rsoldiersince2012]

Bound by Law (Matt Murdock x Reader)

Words: 3760 (chapter 48)

'screw valentine's day, i want what they have'

but anyway, you're welcome ☺ thoughts, comments are always appreciated <3

48. this might've been just a dream, right?

"You look like you've seen a ghost." He says again, a smirk playing on his lips.

"Robert? What are you doing here?" You manage to say, feeling as if your whole body has gone numb. The kitchen almost starts spinning, and you feel your blood begin to boil.

"I invited Rob, he's a part of the family." Your father says, leaving Matt alone, and comes to stand next to Robert in the kitchen. Rob. Fucking Rob. Now it was only you against them both. Exactly the way it always has been.

"Aren't you going to introduce us, y/n?" Robert asks, eyes targeting Matt, his voice as sweet as honey. You're not gonna get the authority in this house, and he knows it all too well.

"Yeah, that's Matthew Murdock. My boss." You smile wickedly, watching everyone's eyes widen. "Murdock as in Nelson and Murdock attorneys office."

Matt tries to read the room, waiting for somebody to snap, but Robert only shakes his hand, obviously swallowing some other words.

"Your boss? Y/n, what-" your mother begins, but a single glare from your dad is enough to shut her up. The atmosphere changes immediately, and Matt feels like an outsider, as if he himself was sitting as a spectator in a courtroom, a mere watcher with no real influence on the Jury's final decision.

"I'm sorry, mind if I have a few words with my daughter?" Your father says, walking out of the kitchen, sparing all the pleasantries. He doesn't need to turn back and wait for you because he knows you'll follow.

"Excuse me." You mutter, walking past Matt. He asks for someone to show a way to the bathroom, so he could listen to you and your father talk without completely blanking out in front of others. It was unfair, cheating, using his powers for not a great cause, but he just couldn't be left out in a new environment. Not when it was you and him against the world.

"What? What boss? Mind explaining something to your father?" Harold closes the doors of his bedroom, not shouting or smashing things. But this calmness was always scarier than anger.

"What's there to explain? I work elsewhere now." You sit on the bed, unfazed.

"How long?"

"Two months or so."

"Why?" Yeah, this was the spitting image of a police interrogation.

"I got tired of kissing asses, especially Benowitz's." You simply shrug, holding strong eye contact.

"You had the world under your feet there and left for what? What does he even pay you?" Apparently one look was enough to crack Matt's character and social status.

"Not nearly enough, but I don't really care about money." A steady heartbeat.

"If you think that leaving Benowitz was a great idea, you're very wrong, kid. He's gonna crush that office of yours like a boot crushes an ant." Harold's voice was still unbelievably calm. Matt sits on the closed toilet seat to listen better. "What went wrong? You liked working there."

"He wanted me to give a false statement to the Jury. I refused."

"That's it?"

"Yes." Your heart skips a beat; but you don't desire explaining every 'silly' thing that lead to your resignation. Not now.

He scoffs and a thunder-like laugh leaves his chest. "Honey, if you think that everyone who works as a lawyer is a saint, then you still don't know shit about the world."

"If you thought I was gonna let a guilty party walk freely among everyone else, then you're..." Insane. Stupid. "Wrong."

"But it's not that, is it?"

Matt stiffens, trying to locate your heartbeat again.

"It's... Love, right?" Harold asks again, noticing your pink cheeks. He could always read you like an open book. "Oh, what have I told you after the last time?" A heavy sigh escapes him.

You break the eye contact with him, looking at your feet. The mattress next to you dips, and your face is pulled into your dad's chest. "I know. But it's different. It won't be like the last time." You whisper, your shoulders rigid and unable to release the tension. 

"I want to believe it. But I have a feeling that this time it will be worse."

"No, I promise."

"You don't have to promise me anything. Promise to yourself." He rubs your shoulder with the free hand, thinking over his next words. "Listen, I know that it never worked out with Robert... Although I really wish it did. But I'm not gonna press you this time."

"Who are you and what did you do to my father?" You pull away to look him in the eyes and he wipes the tears from your face.

"I want what's best for my only daughter."

Matt furrows his eyebrows. So many questions and no answers. He understood that the past is better left behind, but not knowing a lot about you was frustrating. 

*** 

The dinner was nice. Apart from the occasional glares thrown at you and Matt from one of the three. You sat next to Matt, who was seated right across Robert, next to your father, facing you, and your mother by his side. Robert was acting like a real man should - he listened, asked questions, commented something on the game that was shown on TV; to a mere watcher, it would've looked like Robert and Matt got along just perfectly. But the tension was hanging thickly around them, as you suspected it would.

Your father was mostly silent, but when he talked, he only asked questions. Questions you didn't particularly enjoy. When you told him about the Devil of Hell's Kitchen, now crowned as Daredevil, about how the whole gang of Nelson and Murdock put the city's biggest criminal behind the bars and accidentally let it slip that you've been poisoned, your father almost choked on the apple pie. Of course, the lecture about being more cautious was inevitable, even in front of a guest, but when Matt placed his warm hand on your knee for reassurance, you felt grateful to have him here with you. 

"Do you agree with this devil, Matthew?" Your mother asks, pouring herself a glass of water. You notice her hands slightly shaking. Obviously, no mother wants to hear about their child getting hurt; not even when that child is a 30-year-old lawyer.

"As a lawyer - no." Matt's voice is firm, he doesn't stutter like he did when Karen asked his opinion about the vigilante for the first time, although it wasn't nice to lie about himself. "As a citizen, a blind one too, I think he's doing a lot more good than wrong. I mean, he has saved y/n, and our secretary, more than once."

"By disobeying and breaking multiple rules." Robert speaks from behind a cup, sending you 'is this guy serious' look.

"Well, you can't have something good without a bit of bad." Matt responds, and you bite away a grin, giving Robert a glare back. 

"Sounds a lot like church teaching." 

"Well, I am catholic." Matt answers to Robert.

"So as a catholic, you believe in his doings?" Your mother asks again. The question hangs in the air for a while, accompanied by the sound of intense commentating on TV.

"Please, let's not involve religion at this table." You groan slightly. 

"No, I wanna hear his opinion." You look at Robert threateningly, but he avoids your eyes. 

"Yeah, I mean... He's not killing people... From what I've heard. Just... Beats them up and gives them to police."

"So what you're saying..." your father clears his throat, "is that police are not capable of dealing with the criminals... and they need another criminal to help them?"

Ah, the police way of talking. You knew this was coming sooner or later. Maybe bringing Matt here was a mistake.

"I usually don't doubt honest work of police officers but-"

"Fisk had at least half of the precinct paid off. I saw FBI arresting them." You help Matt, suddenly feeling the need to defend him from your family's sharp words. You two against the whole world.

"All the good men then left, I see." Harold clears his throat again, this time more embarrassed than confident, "when I was Chief Officer, anyone who was bribed was kicked out of the force... by me. Personally. I guess a lot has changed, in almost ten years."

"Why did you leave the force?" Matt risks a lot with this question, and suddenly everyone at the table tense. You gulp loudly beside Matt, panic evident in your eyes when they meet your father's tired ones. Your mother focuses on the glass of water in her hand, not making eye contact with anyone. Robert notices your eyebrow slightly twitching when you look at Camilla, something about your face now was different; you looked paler, more tired, as if these were your last moments on Earth. He knew some of it, the story, the real reason, but after the time when he asked for more details and was met with your furious father, he didn't dare to look for more details anymore. What he knew, was half of the truth, and frankly, it was enough for him. It was the same for your mother, yet she learned to be humble and silent about it. 

The question hangs heavily in the air, until your father replies, "Uh, just encountered some personal... Health problems."

He's lying. Too obvious for someone who previously worked in the force. Harold's heartbeat is all over the place, loudly pounding in Matt's ears. As is yours. Something about this was not right, suspicious.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Matt sends a small apologetic smile towards your dad, his hand finding your knee under the table again. You almost flinch, but then quickly cover it up with a cough. Your skin somehow feels both hot and cold at the same time, and Matt feels the sudden tensing of your body. "If you were still a captain, none of that mess with Fisk would've ever happened." 

"Don't be so sure, Matthew." Harold's voice is low, with a note of regret, "from what I've heard now, he's worked hard in the shadows to lure powerful people and built his empire from scratch. A man like this is very dangerous and hard to capture."

"But not impossible." Matt strives to bring positivity back on the table, but this appears to be impossible.

"Matthew, take no offense, but you're too catholic for your own good." Harold answers, and you know that this is his final word in this talk.

The men return from the backyard, and you can only guess what they talked about the whole time they were gone. You pass Matt in the corridor, grazing his hand with your fingers as you go and make way towards the bathroom to wash your face. A minute later, someone slips inside, and you think that it's Matt, but when you lift your head to grab a towel, you see Robert standing in the middle of the bathroom, his arms crossed on his chest. 

***

You help your mother get the guest room ready, exchanging only few words. She likes Matt, admits it herself, but doesn't dare to comment anything else. Mother's intuition was telling her that you didn't bring Matt here to simply make a blind man's lonely holiday better, perhaps you wanted to introduce him as your boyfriend, but didn't dare to do so when Robert was in the house. She also liked Robert, he was almost like a son to her, visiting them ocassionally since highschool, he wasn't a rare sight in this house, but... Maybe it was time to move on. For everyone. Camilla knew that if Robert continues coming here, you'll become a rare sight. In her heart, she wanted what's best for you, her dearest daughter, but she also knew about your tough character and how easily you can break apart when you're hurt.

"Occupied." 

"Well, then you should've locked the door." His voice is nonchalant, you notice that he's already changed his clothes, ditched the long sleeved shirt for an old police academy t-shirt. He looks as if he was trying to flex his biceps in front of you, but the thought of that makes you grin. Matt definitely had a stronger body than this Sheriff wannabe.

"Not my fault that there's an idiot in the house."

"Classic y/n." He scoffs, leaning on the door with his whole back. "So, this guy, a new toy of yours?"

"Do I hear jealousy, Robert?"

He ignores your question, going on a ramble, "see, this is why some people think of you as a whore, going around, playing men and then leaving them when you get bored. Even at the dinner table you two can't keep your hands to youself, huh? Are you two fucking?"

"I fuck whomever I want. And it's no concern of yours." You say, leaning on the sink.

"Have you forgotten about us? How good it felt when we were together?" He says, his back still pressed against the bathroom door, keeping the maximum distance in the small space.

"Maybe it felt good for you, but you've never even bothered to ask if it felt good for me." You bite, watching his eyes widen in shock... Or shame.

"Oh please, if someone had heard us, they would've thought that I was the best man on the planet with the way you were screaming."

"Maybe I was screaming because I disliked it? How can you know when you've always turned away to sleep or left after you were done rutting your dick into me?" You wave your hands in front of you in a dirty gesture, noticing Robert's clenched jaw.

"He's gonna break your heart. Like you did mine. I just hope the pain is even worse for you than it was for me."

"I broke your heart? Please." You scoff, crossing your arms, "when I told you about my problem, you basically vanished."

"I needed some time to think, but I still wanted you. I still do." His voice is desperate and it makes you sick.

"Oh, save it for some other poor soul, you just wanted to get me pregnant but when the doctors said that it's impossible, you threw me away like a dirty rag. That's all you wanted - to have nice little children, and not because you loved me, but because you were so obsessed with my father that you wanted a connection between the two of you!" Your voice gets louder and Robert glances at the door nervously.

"I don't need any children to have a connection with your father. I already have it." He boasts, so sure of his place in this house that if he hated you, he would have the power to banish you from here. But he didn't. Deep in his heart, there we still strong feelings for you.

"Oh, right, I forgot that you are the son he wished to have, and not me, the daughter who's whoring around every man she sees, right?" Your voice is strong, displaying years of suppressed anger and not being loved enough in your own home. "Do you know how hard it was for me to be with you after all that I went through? How your touch made me flinch? And you have the audacity to come here to my parent's house and say that you want me back? Don't you understand the reason I left you the second time?" You desperately grab onto the sink with your palms and take deep breaths.

"You said you were better, how was I supposed to read your goddamn mind?" He shouts, and suddenly you feel like you've travelled back in time, before you were even a lawyer, and were arguing about the same things with Robert.

"I said I was better because I was, the therapy was helping, but I wasn't feeling well with you around. You're just... Too similar to him."

"If you think that I'm similar to that psychopath, you're not better than him yourself."

"You-" you grab a tube of body lotion from the sink and throw it at Robert, hitting him in the chest. "Get out of my sight before I throw something sharper than this fucking lotion!"

"You will fuck this up, whatever you two have going on, it's doomed." He leaves the bathroom, closing the door loudly.

*** 

An hour later you're gently knocking on Matt's door, hoping to disappear from the corridor before Robert or your father see you. Robert was staying in the room next to this, and he could exit any moment. Matt opens quickly, much to your luck, a confused look on his face. Without words, he lets you inside. 

"Wow, that is really dark, I gotta," you walk towards the corner of the room and turn on a lamp. Warm yellow light fills the space, and you notice Matt's slumped shoulders. "What did they even do to you?" You say with a humourless laugh, sitting at the end of the bed. 

"Don't worry, we just chatted. What's up with you?" Matt tries to sound innocent, but he didn't know what to do with the information he overheard. He wanted to hug you, and never let you out of his embrace, but you had to tell everything you told Robert to him yourself.

"You want some?" You say, taking a sip of wine straight from the bottle. He doesn't answer, but sits next to you on the bed. "It's wine."

"Where'd you get that?"

"Stole from my parents. I need it more than they do." You push the bottle into Matt's hands, and watch him drink. "I truly hoped that this could be our escape from the problems and the whole Hell's Kitchen, but... I'm sorry it got ruined. By an obvious somebody." Your voice wavers with anger.

"It's alright. I got to spend more time with you." Matt shrugs, his knee resting against yours. 

"Aren't you just full of positivity?" You smile, honestly, for the first time this evening. "So, how bad are the first impressions?" You drink again, not letting Matt out of your sight. 

"They're good. I think your mom likes me a lot." He smiles, and you fight the urge to put your palm on his cheek. "Robert's not very talkative with me, and your dad... I think he has accepted the fact that Robert's not your boyfriend anymore."

"Ah, you know, Matt, I love your ability to see positive aspects of every shitty situation." You laugh, finally loosening up when the wine kicks in.

"You didn't tell me it was your birthday." Matt says, taking a swing from the bottle. The wine is good, not too sweet and just the right amount of sour. "Which day was it?"

"November 13th." You answer, lying on your side with your hand under your head. "I stopped celebrating a long time ago."

Matt drinks some more and puts the bottle away, lying down as well, mirroring you. "Why?"

"Got tired of all the meaningless gifts, and money. I hate when people gift money and say 'go buy whatever you want'. It just completely loses the whole birthday meaning. A gift should be something that screams 'you're on my mind' or 'this made me think of you' and not 'this is shiny and girly, I hope this will pass as a good gift'." You scoff, "One time Robert gifted me a red lipstick because he liked the color."

"Jesus, really?" Matt can't hold the laugh, and you burst out laughing as well, hiding your face in his chest. When the laughter dies, Matt's hand begins gently stroking your hair, "I would gift you the whole world if I could."

"Lying is a sin, Matthew." You smile, kissing his exposed neck. "You should be very careful with these kinds of statements. Or I might twist them around." 

He lets you kiss his neck, his jaw and his chest, but the uneasiness stirring inside of him doesn't allow Matt to fully focus on you the way he'd want to. "I overheard something... You and Robert were talking." 

The words make you stop and you look at him intently, panic setting in, "what exactly?"

Words get stuck in his throat, and Matt's face becomes red, embarassed. He should've just kept his mouth shut, but of course, the devil had to pull his tongue. "Something about pregnancy. I was just passing by and-"

"Oh, that." You close your eyes, bracing yourself. "I was planning to tell you this some time later. I didn't know how far will we go... Because no woman goes around telling that to the first guy in her bed... But I think you already deserve to know." You pause, feeling your own heart beating loudly in your ears, Matt puts his hand on yours for emotional support. He has heard every single word you and Robert said to each other, but he needed to hear it all from you. "I... I can't have children. I can't get pregnant, and... If you had thoughts about family, now it's perfect time for you to run away."

"I won't leave you, y/n." He squeezes your hand, reassuringly, "I... I don't care. Family, no family, I just want to be with you."

"Just please, don't be disappointed later when that honeymoon phase passes." You sigh.

"I won't. I promise." Matt seals his promise with a kiss, one full of love and adoration.

I love you.

***

The night felt like a fever dream for you and Matt. He kissed you the way he has never kissed anyone; his touch was like fire on your skin, exploring your body like he has already done many times before, but this time it was even more intimate. This wasn't just sex anymore; it was a feeling almost divine, as if your spirits were connecting and merging into one. You gripped the sheets, raked Matt's strong back with your nails, surely leaving long red marks, and welcomed his body weight on yours when you both came from the highest of all the highs - it was divine. When Matt continued to tightly hold your interlocked hands next to your head, and panted hot air into your neck, you didn't expect him to say the next words.

This was beyond the description of 'divine' and all the other words that were used to describe a feeling out of this planet. This was something else, something unreal, a thing one so madly in love longs to hear, dreams, expects and waits for... Yet is never ready when these words are said aloud.

If you didn't have to be quiet, you'd surely would have been laughing into his strong, hairy chest, pressing his body into yours a million times until you wouldn't have been able to move a single muscle. But you couldn't. So you showered Matt with kisses, feeling your lips uncomfortably tingling, and swollen, and told him the same three words back.

It was a fever dream, and you both were sick with the worst disease ever - love.

[gothicprep]

speaking of shit that happened 11 years ago, i have this story from high school that reflects very poorly on my character, but it's so dark and so funny that i can't resist sharing it.

there are two important bits of context that i need to get out of the way for this to make any sense. the first of which is that a girl in my friend group had extremely overprotective parents who were adamantly against her using social media, and if i had to speculate on why, it was because she spent a ridiculous amount of time on this site called myyearbook. i don't know how many of my followers are old enough to remember myb, but basically it was a cross between facebook, myspace, and a 2000s aol homepage. the only people i remember using it in high school were hormonal teens desperate to lose their virginity using it to connect with other hormonal teens equally desperate to lose their virginity who went to different schools in the general area. it's since rebranded to a straightforward dating site, but that's a snapshot of it in 2011. but, anyway, she was always going behind her parents' backs, made a facebook anyway, kept getting caught, kept getting her phone confiscated and internet access restricted.

there was also a very surreal situation i was caught up in that involved this guy who i had a major falling out with for reasons that were unclear to me at the time, and frankly, still are. he just flipped a switch and started being very, very vicious to me. started posting all this weird shit about me on facebook and just talking constant shit on me. i was very confused and angry about it, and whenever i'd subtweet him, he'd complain to the school and i'd get called into the vice principle's office, get chewed out and hear vague threats about having the cops called on me. i also probably made it worse for myself by being antagonistic towards the vp and saying shit like "you can't call the cyber police over tweets that don't mention anybody by name 🙄" but i stand by the cuntiness. this went on for TWO YEARS, i missed so much class time because of this shit, single-handedly ruined high school for me, and it makes even less sense in hindsight. what made matters much worse is that most of my friends (strict parents friend included) sort of refused to take my side in the matter, even though this was clearly out of line, and i had a lot of suspicions that they were egging him on behind my back and making matters worse.

okay, onto the story.

friend with strict parents is out of school recovering from a surgery and i go to her house and drop off some of the classwork she missed. she has no phone access, again, so she asks if she can use my phone to check her facebook before her parents get home from work. i let her, she scrolls for a little bit, and gives my phone back to me. when i get home, i realize she forgot to log out.

so i'm thinking to myself, "jackpot". now i can keep tabs on Evil Ex Friend and i can also check the DM history and confirm or dismiss my suspicions about her and the others egging him on behind my back. i pull their DM history and, sure enough, i was right. i call one of the few people who stood by me through the cyber police situation and ask her if i can come by and talk shit.

i drive to her house, we go through the DMs, we talk shit, and while we're doing this, another message comes in from some guy strict parents friend met on myb: "hey, you got your phone back". we ignore him at first, but then he sends another message. so we're like, fuck, he's going to keep this up as long as he sees her profile online, so we come up with the brilliant idea to reply, mimic her typing style as faithfully as possible, and delete the individual messages in the conversation when he's done to cover our tracks. but the conversation turns sexual very, very quickly and he starts asking for titty pics. obviously we can't comply – we obviously don't have nudes of her and we aren't going to send anything ourselves. so we keep dodging the request and this guy flips his lid and blocks her.

shit. this is bad.

so we go along with the original plan to delete that specific conversation, log out because we don't want to draw the ire of any more simps, and cross our fingers that karma doesn't have its kiss for us.

strict parents friend gets her phone back eventually and she eventually casually mentions to our lunch table "oh, johnny deleted his facebook and myb. i wonder what happened :/ i don't have his phone number so i guess i've lost touch with him". and she was speaking earnestly, tbh she had no reason to suspect riley and i were responsible. but it's been more than a decade at this point and i don't think she ever found out we were responsible for this. and she probably never will because we haven't spoken in 8 years lmfao.

i thought this would be a lot funnier before i typed it out, but i still think it's a gem nonetheless.

[river-bottom-nightmare]

Nightwing #80 Review

woot woot i’ve kept it up for three issues lets gooo. i liked this issue more than the last one. there’s a lot of fanon dick characterization peppered in, but not so much that it puts me off entirely. also, i’m getting increasingly concerned about bitewing. but i did like tim in this one, very nice

look at all the blue and purple and pink. honestly at this point, i’m a broken record but come on come on come onnnnnnn. the blue and pink is very pretty though. this cover’s a bit offputting at first, and a bit spiraly, which i’m sure was the intended effect.

this is a genuine concern of mine. dick’s a vigilante, and he doesn’t have the same sprawling network and resources that bruce does. (even if he is a billionaire now, he hasn’t amassed the same collection of crime-fighting equipment that bruce has.) 

i’m not sure if he’ll be able to take care of bitewing. damian’s got plenty of pets, but alfred used to take care of them, and now bruce plus the rest of the batfam is taking care of them. as far as we know, babs only drops by occasionally, and the same goes for dick’s family and friends. will dick be able to give bitewing the love and time and affection that a traumatized puppy like her needs? i really hope so.

she does look adorable in this panel tho.

dick. richard. richie. baby. why are you shirtless.

you have scars upon scars. probably chemical burns. bullet wounds. weird fucking squiggly lines from knives that only psychos with blade fetishes use. no normal person has the body that you do. and you don’t think that showing up shirtless in front of the police is going to raise suspicion? you don’t think that the people accusing you of murder are going to look at someone who looks like they’re a fucking mob enforcer and go hmm that’s a bit suspicious?

put on a SHIRT jesus CHRIST it’s like you’re not even trying to hide your identity.

look at this pompous little princess demanding only the highest quality head pets i’d burn down latvia for her. (no offense latvians it was the first country that popped into my head.)

pretty boy pretty boy pretty boy pretty boy-

no seriously kudos to the artist here. his expression is so human i wanna cry. dick, right now, is sheepishly asking a question. he knows he’s not going to get into any real trouble, he knows that he’ll be able to talk his way out of or somehow maneuver his way off this mess. but he’ll play nice for the police, so he’s asking a friend for a favour, part self-condescendingly and part oh-well-what-can-you-do.

and his expression reflects that. rather than a stoic expressionless face most male comic characters have when asking someone for something (or all the time really), rather than the weird desperate supposedly “seductive” face that most female comic characters plus dick grayson have when asking someone for something (or all the time really), he’s making a face that i pulled like yesterday. or the day before that. it’s kind of silly, kind of casual, very much human. i like it.

thank god. proper (in character) acknowledgement for officer grayson. yea, fuck cops in general, but i like that they included this line.

obviously, he’s not talking about the actual criminals, he’s talking about the police force itself. the bpd was too corrupt, and dick realized that he wasn’t helping. not only does one clean cop not make a dent in an overall dirty force, but dick was putting his allies in danger too. not only that, but it wasn’t good for dick’s mental health either. he was spreading himself too thin, and surrounding himself with some of the worst of crime 24/7 did a number on him. dick’s got a history of self-sacrificing tendencies, and i’m just glad he’s not a cop anymore.

dick has a gotham rogues mug. they make gotham rogue mugs, and dick has one.

what kinda city looks at it’s frankly horrible crime history and long list of certifiably insane serial killers who are all still alive and actively committing war crimes and goes “oooooh yea imma put that on a coffee mug!” gotham, that’s who.

this isn’t important i just like how all of bitewing’s barks are blue

back straight, hand on his hip, cheerful smile on his face as he says he’s being accused for murder. love that for him.

they couldn’t have said “yea it’s complicated” in a better way even if they put the words “yea it’s complicated” right there on the page in bold red letters. literally all the love to the artists.

dick please. you’re KILLING ME what the actual fuck IS THAT???? WHY DO YOU HAVE A MUG OF THAT???

anyway nightwing collects novelty mugs confirmed.

this paneling is so beautiful. 

tim’s the focus, but he’s not the first thing you see. he’s placed in a way that forces the reader to drag their eyes all the way up the page in order to reach him. it us know just how high up tim is carelessly crouching, especially close to the ledge of the building too. i cannot think of a single better way to introduce a character, and this character in particular: you instantly know this is a version of tim with plenty of experience and training, is comfortable in his body and knows his limits, but still hangs onto that civilian awe of being in a high place and overlooking a brightly lit city.

absolute classic robin. i love it. 

this isn’t even that important but it made me happy. this is how you train surf.

you don’t crouch or bend over when you get to a tunnel, which is oddly enough what most people think (at least from my experience). you bend backward. that not only 100% ensures that you’ll make sure you’re low enough to make it through the tunnel (because you can see the top of the tunnel, unlike when you crouch or bend), but it also makes it easier to get up: all you have to do is push up with your arms into a bent stance, and you’ll be in a ready, moving position. from a bend or a crouch, getting up is more awkward and more slow.

on a meta level, i like that this creative team knows what they’re doing when it comes to the small, almost unimportant stuff like that, because it makes the action more real. (as real as you can get with a guy running around stealing hearts.)

on a in-universe level, it once again drives home both dick and tim’s experience and professional level skill.

regardless of who you side with in the “should tim drake be robin again?” debate, you gotta admit that tim’s rebirth robin suit is r a d as fuck. if i’m not mistaken, this is the same one he was wearing in 2019 young justice for a little bit? it’s cute and hella cool i like it.

remember what i said about human expressions? doesn’t happen as often to tim bc he’s a Child, but it’s still nice to note when someone humanizes him, too. (that’s why i love the duckboy panel so much lol.)

me, at first: that’s not a “good call” dick that’s just common sense

me, now: sprinkled throughout the entire comic we can see dick bending to tim’s instructions if only briefly, joking with him to keep the mood light while still maintaining a serious mood and retaining control over this particular outing. this implies that dick’s doing it intentionally, purposefully leaving places in his sentences blank and offering affirmations, in order to encourage tim and train him in things bruce might not necessarily touch on, such as social chameleoning and misdirection techniques and love/affirmation from a family member. dick is not only a loving and supportive big brother, but he never stops training his younger brother in better vigilante tecnhiques because he wants tim to be better than him. in this essay i will-

d o g g o

also bitewing is getting so many head pats today i’m living for it

look at him, standing on a telephone wire with ease. nice flex, dick.

also look at how he’s silhouetted. the moon’s full bright, bright enough that the sky around dick is light, too. (at least. i’m like 99% sure that’s the moon.) not like most batman comics, where it’s sometimes hard to distinguish bruce from the background, which is entirely on purpose.

gotham is a dark gritty city, and so is bruce. the two of them are one. bludhaven may be a bit of a mess, but it’s being portrayed in all these different shades of blue and purple and pink, that are all light enough that dick stands out from the background. he hasn’t been swallowed up by the city, and chances are that he won’t ever be. also, the colouring helps establish bludhaven as a city too. there’s still hope for it. the light colouring means that it’s not going to sink into a pit as deep as the one bruce wove gotham into. the whole point of this nightwing arc in particular is to turn bludhaven into a better place, and it’s (most likely) letting us know early on that dick is going to accomplish that. he’ll struggle, but he’ll do it.

so dick??? dick designed his escrima sticks with a situation like this in mind? he created his signature and most iconic weapon (other than his chatty mouth), with a built in feature that turns his escrima sticks into tim’s signature and most iconic weapon???? just so that if he and tim ever got into a situation where tim didn’t have his staff, dick could make sure tim had the thing that would give him an edge over anyone he was fighting??? he’s such a big brother oh my goddd.

also tim’s smirk in this is just *chef kiss.* a staff is something he can work with, a staff is something he wields like an extension of his arm, a staff is means that someone’s about to get their ass kicked because tim’s about to beat the shit outta them.

this is my new phone background.

they really made sure we remembered that hey, those first few months when bruce was grieving too much to be any sort of a mentor to tim and was still unwilling to properly train him to be robin out of fear that he would end up like jason, dick was the one who stepped up (once he got over himself and his own fears and hangups with bruce) and trained tim to be robin, trained him how to fight and flip and fuckin fly out there, all while changing his own style a bit to be the more experienced one in the partnership while still trusting said partner to hold their own, so dick and tim have a very unique and cohesive fighting style that makes it hell for anyone who fights them together, didn’t they?

[idontknowmyownmind]

Fanfic ideas which are obviously Mammon centric. I never include MC because I'm not that fond of a story that has oc as it's main character.

An effective old curse(?)

There is an old curse that will kill a demon if it is planted on them. To use it, they need a lot of sacrifice (not souls or any of that kind) that is really hard to get because the curse will 100% work. When you have already collected all the important things, the curse can be sent like a voodoo thing and the target will not realize it until the next day. It started with some kind of mark on their wrist and it began to travel to their body. Depending on how long the sender wants it to completely work, the curse will spread at a certain pace a day.

Someone who got this curse will slowly but gradually will started to feels tired fast and lost their senses. Before the day they are supposed to die, they will become an unresponsive person. Not paralized type but more like someone who lose all their senses type.

So, there is a witch who wants revenge on Lucifer by sending the curse. But unfortunately the curse got sent to Mammon instead. On the first day, he doesn't even know about it. He found out about the mark on the second day when it already covered his right lower arm. But Mammon being Mammon doesn't think much about it and doesn't know what it means.

Mammon knew about the curse two days after. He and his brothers are having a movie night, something that happens once in millenials. The rowdy type, Mammon, Asmo, and Levi, have their little quarrel. Asmo tried to attack Mammon with a pillow but slipped and pulled Mammon's top, exposing his right arm.

The other brothers who happen to look also don't know about it and asked Mammon if he got tattoos. But Mammon just looks at the mark confused and says bewilderedly that he is not and this mark just appears out of nowhere. He swears it was just covering his lower arm but how it suddenly covers his right arm, he doesn't know.

Lucifer is the only one who knows about the curse and how to recognize it. So he is surprised and dread following after when he looks at the marks on Mammon's right arm. He suddenly in front of him, startled not just Mammon but also the others, and grabbed Mammon's arm and inspected it. There is no doubt that it is that curse.

Apparently he grabbed it too tightly because Mammon started to complain and said that if he is angry because he thinks it's tattoos, he swears that it is not. But Lucifer ignored him and said that they needed to see Barbatos in a clipped tone. Still not letting Mammon go but loosen his grasp.

(Let's say that Barbatos is a master of curse.)

"Wow, wow. I don't think we need to, it's just weird marks. I'm sure it's gonna gone before I know it"

Lucifer hissed and glared at him. But not like his angry one, there is something else in his eyes, tone and body languages, something urgent and unreadable.

"Don't you know what this mark means?! You're gonna die!"

"Huh?" Mammon's brain shut down and his face was blank.

The other looked shocked. Asmo tried to laugh it off, saying that Lucifer was just joking. But when Lucifer doesn't react and is still in a staring contest with Mammon, his smile drops and fear begins to creep on him.

Series of activities happened and they are on their way to the castle. Lucifer began to intrograte Mammon and got little to nothing important information because Mammon himself doesn't even know a single thing.

The brothers also ask questions and Lucifer answers as far as he knows. Fear envelopes everyone while Mammon tries to joke to light up the atmosphere but gets an angry yet worried death glare from his brothers that shut him up.

When they arrive and explain what they knew, they get the heart breaking news that there is no way to lift the curse.

Some ruckus happens and they decide to find a way to lift it with the help of Barbatos and Diavolo. The curse spread faster than they imagined and on day five it almost covered all his upper body.

In those days, Lucifer, despite wanting to spend his last time with Mammon, just can't stop his research because every second matters.

Satan who usually would rather somewhere else than with just Lucifer always by his side to help.

Asmo and Levi make sure to always have Mammon in sight.

The twins always find time to cuddle Mammon.

Mammon was scared but also frustrated with his brothers. He tried to reason that they don't need to neglect themselves just for him, which got them mad, saying that he is more important that got him speechless.

He just let that happen but even he knows that it will be futile.

The possibilities are endless and I'm not sure where and how I want it to end. But one thing for sure is, in the end Mammon died.

Kind of like a sleeping beauty AU

• The brothers are currently at the party hosted by Diavolo

• After some time, Mammon came to the garden.

• In the garden are Levi and Satan who start to feel suffocated inside with all the social shits.

• With Mammon there, surely it's not gonna be a silent situation.

• He teases, argues a little and does things older siblings would do to their little ones.

• As you know Mammon is the fastest demon, and it seems that even Diavolo and Lucifer won't be able to catch up with him if he wants to.

• Mammon is secretly protective with his brothers, yes it includes Lucifer.

• He senses some malicious intent toward one of his lil bros.

• (My hc) Some of Mammon's power is about time. He's the fastest and he also can manipulate time and make it slower or faster w/o others notice, which is handy most of the time.

• He makes sure to use his power in a small radius, not too far to notice Lucifer or Diavolo but enough to prevent anything that may happen to his lil bros.

• Faster than they can blink, Mammon pushes Levi away.

• Levi yelped and Satan was also shocked by the sudden harsh action. It seemed like Mammon used a little bit more strength than intended.

• Levi looked up angrily from where he pushed off and was ready to throw some harsh words toward Mammon.

• All the words died in his mouth when he watched Mammon crunch down, arms hugging himself, with two arrows stuck in his back.

• He whimpered and hissed in pain when the arrows seemed to glow and disappear in every second along with weird and old looking sigils starting to appear on his body.

• Without a second thought Satan throws the book he's been reading and kneels beside his brother.

• He tries to call him but Mammon ignores everything. He also tried to take the arrows but couldn't and tried to solve what the sigils mean but it's the first time he saw something like this.

• Levi who kneels in front of Mammon tries to make him focus on him but to no avail Mammon's eyes just keep being between focus and unfocus.

• When the arrows completely disappear, the sigils glow a little as if sealing something in before disappearing completely and Mammon slump toward Levi.

• One thing imprinted on Levi's brain is how he saw a completely pure fear in Mammon's eyes before they turned dull.

• Levi froze in his place and when he snapped out of his daze, Satan was already cradling Mammon's lifeless body.

• Satan had Mammon's head pressed on his chest and that's when Levi saw how his usually lively and energetic brother looked like a soulless doll.

• His body looks like a doll that has no string to keep them up and his eyes are dull and lifeless.

• "Levi!"

• Levi looked at Satan who looked at him with apparent fear in his eyes and startled a little because right now, Satan looks like an innocent little kid who doesn't know what to do.

• Although he may be one of the smartest among the brothers and the fourth strongest, he is still the youngest of the brothers.

• "Levi, do something."

• He must be crazy because Levi can hear a hidden plea in his tone.

• It's slow but when Levi finally catches up with the situation, that he should be the one who is in Mammon's position and his brother just saved his life, fear and a sheer terror rush to him at full speed.

• He is afraid for his brother's life, afraid that he may lose him, that because of him he'll never be able to see his idiot but lovable brother anymore.

• He starts to shake Mammon awake, do anything he can, shouthing, but he won't bugger even a little. The only movement of him is the sway of his hair because of the wind.

• Levi doesn't know since when he clutched Mammon's shirt and pressed his forehead on Mammon's chest whilst he cried and shouted incoherent sentences in hope Mammon would wake up and laugh, telling him that it was just a prank.

• For the first time since millennials Satan felt lost.

• He always pride his knowledge but right now he feels useless because he just can watch when his brother suffers, died, in front of him.

• Hearing Levi crying and calling for Mammon, Satan couldn't hold his own tears as they began to stream down his cheek while he tightened his hold on his dear brother.

• It seems that their ruckus attracted some demons who were near the garden and they were smart enough to call their other brothers.

• Satan is silently glad because he swears he will tear them apart in anger if they just stand around and watch while they don't even know what is happening.

• In his mind, he vaguely knows that he needs to get the others but he doesn't want to leave Mammon's side. He's afraid that if he lets him go he will disappear forever and it looks like Levi is not doing any better.

• So they just wait and try to wake Mammon or just think, as much as their hazy mind can, what just happened and what they can and need to do.

• When one of the demons in the party comes to Lucifer, he doesn't really pay them any mind.

• He thinks that they may want to talk with Diavolo or Barbatos like the others before.

• Lucifer and his brothers have been Diavolo's companions since the middle of the party.

• What he didn't, never, expected is the demon talk, inform him that his brothers in the garden make some ruckus.

• When he heard the word white haired brother, the first thing he thought was how Mammon caused trouble again, in Diavolo's party no less. He felt irritated.

• But it melted away quickly as it came when he heard what was said after.

• Two of his brothers, Levi and Satan, weeping, shouting something while crying. Satan.

• And how they hold Mammon because something happened to him.

• He didn't hear what was said next because in a second he was already on his feet and hurriedly walked to the garden.

• There is foreign feeling in his chest and he registers it as fear, he feels his stomach drop.

• His mind ran miles for what had possibly happened.

• It better not be some kind of prank or he's gonna be mad.

• The other brothers, Beel wake Belphie when he senses that something is wrong, along with Diavolo and Barbatos who also hear the conversation following him.

• What they saw in the garden is an unexpected thing, something they thought would never happen.

• When Satan sensed someone closer, he held Mammon closer protectively and snarl at them.

• For the first time he is relieved a little when he sees his brothers, Diavolo and Barbatos.

• With tears still streaming down, he looks at Lucifer and says, "Lucifer, wake him. Wake Mammy, please"

• Mammy is Satan's nickname for Mammon, the only brother who he gave an affectionate nickname to, because he's the one who took care of him the most back then.

• Lucifer is trying his hardest to compose himself because he needs to keep strong for his brothers.

• Asmo went to Levi the moment he arrived and sowed tears when he saw Mammon lifeless eyes.

• He tried to call him, shakily, but got no response.

• He almost went into hysteria seeing his brother state.

• While Lucifer checks on Mammon, Asmo hugs Levi who keeps muttering that it was his fault and how it should be him in Mammon's place.

• Beel and Belphie tried to calm Satan.

• They don't cry but Beel looks close to losing it while Belphie tries to stay strong for his twin too.

• Lucifer's heart clenched painfully when he held his, first, baby brother in his arms, lifeless. It brings back all the bad memories of the past.

• Not a minute after arriving and assessing the situation, Diavolo commanded Barbatos to have all the guests come home.

• Diavolo always admired Lucifer for his calm and collected composure.

• But right now, he can see him slowly losing it the longer he holds Mammon.

• Diavolo knows, everyone knows, despite the fact that he equally loves all his brothers, he always has a special spot for Mammon, the second eldest.

• (Skip because I don't know what else I should write in this scene.)

• After Satan explains everything, they begin to investigate the current case.

• Satan may look fine but he drowns himself in books, something that has something to do with sigils and spells, more.

• Levi rarely went to his room and always stayed in Mammon's room. He may as well stay there with how many things he keeps bringing.

• Lucifer locked himself in his room and just went out to the castle to discuss it with Diavolo and Barbatos.

• Belphie, Beel and Asmo tried to help as much as they could.

• Mammon was laid down in his bed like a sleeping beauty.

• They found out that some demons/witches, for whatever reason, were targeting Levi but Mammon took the blow instead.

• The arrows were covered not only by some spells but also sigils.

• What makes it complicated is, the spells and sigils are the really old, complicated and strong ones.

• The ones that existed when Diavolo was a child.

• The fastest way to get rid of it is to wake the Demon King from his hibernate slumber.

• But they can't do that without any risks for the three realms.

• They need to solve it by themselves.

• It takes them hundreds of years (because I think thousands of years is too long... or maybe not?) to figure it out. The brothers, despite their resolve, didn't function really well. They are determined to wake Mammon but there are also times when it's too much for them.

• In all that time, Mammon was shackled down with holly chains to his knee in a dark void with water reaching his waist. Obviously when he wakes up later, his mind will not be in the best place and will be hard to fix.

• When they finally figure it out, Mammon doesn't immediately wake up and the brothers keep searching for what might be wrong.

• What they don't know is that awakening is a slow process. First, he's going to start to be aware of what is happening around him in his sleeping state. Then his senses will start to function again. And he will start to move his body.

• No one beside him, as they focus on what they can fix, for two weeks and in those weeks he almost regains all his senses and moves his body almost fully. He was still sluggish and trembling like a newborn deer but he got there.

• The first one who finds him is Levi. He walks in and throws himself on the sofa, unaware of eyes trailing his every move.

• Mammon is still skeptical if it's a reality or just something his mind keeps making up in his loneliness at that place.

• But when he is sure it's real, he brave himself to joke about how tired Levi looks.

• Levi looks startled and actually jumps on his feet. There is no way he's gonna mistake those voices, a bit scratchy for not being used for so long but definitely it belongs to Mammon.

• He stood there and stared at Mammon with wide eyes while the latter waved and smiled awkwardly, "well, it's nice to finally be back?"

• Levi's lips began to tremble and tears flowed freely from his eyes. Mammon who was sitting on the edge of the bed panicked and worried as to why his brother suddenly cried and looked pained.

• Without a second thought and ignoring how his body aches, he slowly but surely made his way to Levi and brought him to his embrace to comfort him.

• He is confused and doesn't know what to do when Levi starts to cry harder and hug him as if his lifeline depends on him.

• He spoke incoherently. And when Mammon heard something about that it should be him in his position, Mammon forced him to look him in the eye. Firmly and seriously, he said that what happened was not his fault and he did it of his own will and will do it many times for his brothers if he needs to.

• Levi laugh weetly and burried his face on Mammon's chest, still hugging him, and called him stupid. Mammon just says that it was because he is the great Mammon after all, boastful and laugh loud and clear.

• Levi missed this. So he let himself in Mammon embrace while the latter rubbing his back and caressing his hair gently.

• After some moments of bliss, Mammon states that he thinks he needs to see the others, especially Satan as he was also the one there when everything happened to him.

• They decide to come out when it's dinner to surprise the others.

• They rarely eat together again because it's not the same but this time the brothers manage to find time.

• While waiting for dinner, they talk about many things but not once talking about what happened and where Mammon might be. They talk and talk, sometimes just sitting there basking in a comfortable silence, like nothing ever happened.

• At that moment Levi realized something, every brother of his has their own role in this dysfunctional family. All of them are glue but Mammon is the strongest glue that holds them together.

• It's time for dinner and they walk downstairs to the dining room. Levi talk animatedly about new games and anime series with Mammon beside him, listening closely to whatever he said.

• When he is more sure that it's not some fuck up thing his mind torture him, he is more confident and want to savor everything. He misses his brothers so much.

• They walk slower than usual because Mammon is still not used to moving his body.

• The others brothers who already seated began to hearing Levi loud and antusias voice, something they do not heard since that accident

• They are curious as to what the cause of this and who he talk to but then they froze in place when they heard a familiar loud laugh following whatever Levi says

• They look at the door aticipantly and when Levi and whoever he is with arrived in their peripheral vision, they hold their breath

• Mammon stood beside Levi a little awkwardly and waved at them, trying to look confident and choky when he greeted them.

• Anyone would think it's Beel or Asmo who immediately rush to Mammon, or even Satan remembering how he look at that time

• But much to everyone's surprise, it is Lucifer who suddenly stands in front of them and hugs Mammon. He let a shaky breath

• There are many things he want to say, but he manage just to say, "welcome back, little brother"

[thesunshinebunny]

Hello! I've seen two asks with the first reaction of a Fem!Reader dancing in an erotic/sexy way. (One with the dorm heads and one with the vice dorm heads-)

So I thought I could ask the same thing, but with Cater, Jack, Floyd, Epel, Sebek and Silver. It's okay if it's breaking the rules or you're not comfortable with writing it! But thanks in advance anyways! Stay peachy!! ^^

I never thought I'd end up making a whole series of requests for this style, and to think that the dorm heads was my first order for Twst, what a great start.

Dorm Leaders reaction

Vice Dorm Leaders reaction

As always, all characters are +18 Enjoyyyyyy

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Cater

Montero – Lil Nas X

I imagine Cater as a person who follows trends and is aware of the new music that comes out every single day, so I don't think it is weird to find him listening to the new of Lil Nas x (hiding it from Riddle obviously, knowing him that kind of songs would be strictly prohibited in the halls of Heartslabyul)

But as smart as Cater could get with social media and internet fashions, he didn't notice how you had gotten into music so much that you were mentally creating a choreography.

One specifically for him.

So, when you asked him to spend some private time in the comfort of his bedroom, he didn't expect at all that you would sit him in the middle of his bed just passing the threshold.

For a moment he thought you were going to give him a massage or a handjob, but when you told him to wait patiently, that you were going to change, his impure thoughts were dispelled, thinking that you were going to get more comfortable to snuggle with him.

How wrong he was. It was seeing you come out of the bathroom with a hoodie (that warm and purposeful had nothing), which barely covered your sports bra and shorts, half covering your butt, when all unseemly thoughts returned to his mind.

He stretched out his hands to pull you to him, but you stayed in place, saying you had another surprise.

Cater automatically took out his cell phone to record and take some occasionals photos.

Watching you dance so freely, doing a private show and personally for him made his heart race to a thousand an hour. Even his pants were starting to tighten.

It was seeing your ass and automatically biting his lips. In his mind he was wanting to place each palm on each of your cheeks and squeeze them as he held you against him, preventing you from moving, and his cock buried well deep inside you.

"Are you happy to see me?" your question brought him out of his reverie, realizing that your choreography was over.

He put the cell phone aside and pounced on you, wrapping his arms around you, capturing your lips and throwing you on the bed. Perhaps, among all the ruffle, he put his phone in recording mode and captured ... the entire subsequent session.

Don't worry, Cater would never divulge a video like that and if you want it delete it, he will do it immediately. If not, he will keep it in a folder with a password.

Jack

Solo – Demi Lovato

Jack tried multiple times to convince you to go train with him around the Savannaclaw arena, but each time you refused, stating that you liked being more in the comfort of the bed, covered up to your head, rather than get up at five in the morning to run.

He didn’t take it the wrong way, the way he trained was not for everyone, but he did advise you not to stay still and fall into a sedentary lifestyle, claiming that it would be harmful to your health.

Therefore, you decided to start training on your own, with your own time and doing a little of what you liked most; because remember: to be able to dance like divine goddesses, you need to train ... and a lot.

While he went out for a run, you stayed asleep, when classes ended it was your turn to train.

One day classes ended quite early in your case, allowing you to go to Jack's room to rest and wait for him; But the minutes grew long and what seemed like an hour of waiting turned into two.

So… loud music, more comfortable clothes and practice.

And what does Jack like more than training? See you give your best while doing what you like.

Finding you in his room dancing in sportswear was an image that he would like to print and keep in his mind.

He didn’t care that you were sweating or that the clothes weren’t the tightest to mark your figure, just seeing you move your hips was what he needed to have a smile from ear to ear.

Finish your dance calmly, that your gray wolf will be waiting for you at the door, smiling at you and with open arms to give you a big hug for the effort.

He would eat you with kisses and bites to show you how happy he was to see you happy. If this leads to more… spicy things, that's up to you.

What if I recommend you not to dance this same choreography in the training field in broad daylight, where everyone can see you. The results could be a bit possessive.

But, if you're brave enough, don't complain later if you end up with bites and marks all over your body.

Floyd

My oh My – Camilla Cabello

You walked into the gym expecting to find the basketball team training as usual, but there was no one in their place. Absolute silence.

You took the opportunity to place your backpack next to the roadways, change into comfortable sportswear and put on some music to improve the atmosphere.

When this song started to play, you elatedly stood in the middle of the gym, a sly smile on your face, completely ignoring the sound of rumbling footsteps and slowly approaching the gym.

You were in the middle of the choreography when you felt two arms gripping you tightly, leaving you gasping for air. You screeched as Floyd began to squeeze you more and more, making it impossible for you to move.

"My my, nobody taught you to pay attention to your surroundings when you're alone, koebi-chan?" that sceared the shit out of you.

"Can I dance with you?"

He pulled you closer to him, pressing your back against his torso and your hips against his, lifting you off the floor, and began to spin and sway to the rhythm of the music.

The situation made you laugh until you felt his hand pass over your chest and touch your breast. He settled you against the wall, now your pussy positioned on his erect dick, grinding it thanks to his arms that held you in the air.

At no point did either of you stop the music, letting the playlist roll on and cover the sweet moans coming out of your mouth.

Some freshman ventured into the gym when they heard faint groans creep through the large metal doors.

They got the scare of their lives when they saw Floyd pounding from behind you, staring straight at the entrance and throwing death threats with just his eyes.

Epel

Do it like a dude – Jessie J

Listen to me... you can't tell the only woman at NRC that she can't participate in a dance competition because "it's only for guys"

Uhhhhhhhhh, if I was in that situation how would break their teeth.

Buuuut, you were able to defend yourself in a better way… going to the middle of the training ground where the competition (led by Professor Vargas) was taking place.

I have to say that you left all the participants with icy skin? Other than making them feel like they have a small dick. Straight to the ego.

And Epel was no different. He wasn’t embarrassed by the fact that a girl had beaten him in steps that were recognized later is another matter not ashamed at all, not at all.

Which did bring his ego to the ground and his self-esteem was to see you give your all to overthrow sexism, while he could barely stand in the same line as those of Savannaclaw.

Either way, he enjoyed watching you dance, you seemed re-empowered and that gave you an aura of a strong and powerful woman.

If those who refused to let you participate didn’t give you the prize, rest assured that Epel will leave them in their place, perhaps with the help of Deuce.

He asked you how you could have so much confidence in yourself and that may have caused a butterfly effect ... he wanted to know, well you will teach him in bed.

Two or three tricks may have taken effect and in the next competition (or anything) Epel will give his best, even if he has you as an opponent.

Victory sex for whoever wins? Victory sex.

Sebek

Play with Fire – Sam Tinnesz

You were calm in the comfort of your bedroom, going over some class assignments, some background music, Grimm sleeping next to the bed. A normal day.

But quite boring.

You decided to go down to do a little stretching, so much time hunched over in bed looking at the notes it makes your back very bad. You took your cell phone and left the little cat sleeping comfortably.

Between those stretches you got the idea of ​​practicing a little choreography, nothing too complicated or time consuming; maybe half an hour, forty minutes and that's it.

Well, it ended up being a two hour workout, doing one choreography more complicated than the other. Night had fallen and you were supposed to have a little "date" with Sebek right in your bedroom.

There were knocks on the door, but with the volume of the music you couldn't hear them, nor did you hear the creak of the door opening and closing.

Sebek found you in the middle of the living room, moving your arms around your body. He’s not stupid, he knew you were doing a choreography and he would have enough patience to let you finish it and show up.

What he didn’t expect was to see your figure fall to the floor and move in those ... eccentric movements

Indecent thoughts get out of this mind.

You finished dancing and Sebek was still standing in the middle of the hall, not knowing what to do, where to look, and if he was allowed to speak.

"Sebek are you ok? When did you came in?"

Completely taken out of his reverie, ready to continue the evening as if nothing had happened.

Inwardly he was dying of excitement.

Without telling you anything, with the "date" half finished, having a good and sweet dinner, he just ... slamed you against the wall and took you right there and there.

You both ended up scaring poor Grimm. He just wanted to come down to eat his tuna.

Silver

Maria - 화사 (Hwasa)  

It wasn’t unusual to hear multiple and different songs in the corridors of Diasomnia, especially with Lilia as a member of the light music club; it was normal to hear all kinds of rhythms, even different languages.

Therefore, Silver didn’t find it unusual to hear Korean lyrics as he walked through the lounge of his dorm.

What he did think was strange was hearing footsteps and blows, which had a very peculiar resemblance to the rhythm of music.

In a corridor somewhat away from the common area, which led to a small meeting room and greater tranquility, you were there with the music blasting and dancing as if you were the owner of the place.

Don't get me wrong, Silver was 1000% okay with you dancing in his dorm, even if you wanted to do it on a table in the middle of the lounge room… be his guest.

What he couldn’t allow was his roommates seeing you so… free, sure of yourself, indisputably if you were wearing sports clothes or little clothes, leaving nothing to the imagination.

And if Malleus was among those people… ufff, a big no from our silver boy.

He would go to where you were and lift you by the legs, placing you on his shoulder and commenting that you could continue your dance in a more private place.

That place was his room.

"The way you dance is ... intoxicating"

If at any time the brilliant idea of ​​approaching Silver occurs to you while you dance, take it for granted that he will grab you in his arms and throw you on the bed.

Nope, he's not going to let you finish the choreography. He has another type of choreography in mind.

Lilia put up a do not disturb sign on the other side of the door, proud to see his son a grown-up… apart from the fact that he would have a little “chat” with him immediately after the deed it doesn't matter if you’re still naked and pathetically covered with sheet, he would just *pufff*

[emiefaunwrites]

Not sure if this would cause angst or just some funny shenanigans, but I’m curious…

Has Taka and Leon ever been on a date that just… went horribly wrong?

Heyyy!!

So yes. Yes there is one particular date that I can think of that went horribly wrong. And I think it's about time that a certain member of Leon's family turns up at this point...

So just before I continue, I want to clarify my opinion on Kanon. I don't know all that much about her, but the things that are BEYOND obvious is that she is young and that she is obsessed with her older cousin Leon. Obsessed to the point of stalking, manipulative behaviour and attempted assault.

Now as someone who has, unforunately, had an obsession with an ex of mine, I know how difficult it is to shake those feelings. They make you act in ridiculous ways and turn you into a person that you honestly are not. Thankfully I never hurt anyone physically nor did I stalk, but I was manipulative and controlling and became a person I am ashamed to remember today. And once that obsession fades (which it thankfully did for me), the guilt and the embarrassment is crippling and I live with it daily.

Now I'm not at all saying she is right in what she's doing - it's absolutely wrong. It is NOT an excuse to stalk, or harrass, or assault the 'object of your affection' in the slightest and I do not condone Kanon's behaviour or actions at all. But I would like to try and portray Kanon as a girl who cannot control her emotions and all the ways that it manifests - the two sides of obsession. I think it's important to show what obsession looks like as well as the affect it has on everyone around them - including the person they are obsessed with so if you aren't comfortable with obsessive behaviour or just with Kanon's character in general, please don't read this.

Okay. So enough on that. Here is the disaster date! Thank you for your ask and I hope you enjoy!!

**********************

• Leon hasn't told Taka about his cousin, Kanon.

• It isn't really an easy topic to bring up - how your cousin is obsessed with you.

• It'a always made Leon uncomfortable and he's tried to rebuff the attention in many different ways.

• He tried telling her that cousins shouldn't date - but she ignored it.

• He tried to steer her towards boys her own age, suggesting he help hook her up with someone - but she was adamant the HE was the only one for her.

• He tried grossing her out, not washing for a few days before she visited - but she took no notice.

• Eventually, in his 'asshole' phase, he took drastic measures.

• After years of torment and feeling uncomfortable, he announced to her, in front of his 'friends', that she was ugly and he only liked 'sexy' girls.

• He would NEVER consider dating her, not unless she threw a pitch at 100km - something he knew would be impossible.

• And until that day, she wasn't to talk to him anymore.

• A part of him felt guilty - she's his cousin after all, and the last thing he wants is to hurt her.

• But he's tired of it all, and he's already under so much social pressure, and he pretty much hates himself anyway - so he stood his ground and shut her down.

• Since then, he's barely thought about her.

• But about eight months into his relationship with Taka, he encounters her again.

• Because what Leon doesn't know is Kanon's obsession has only grown stronger.

• And because she's been blocked from his social media, she's resorted to a fake profile to follow him.

• And she happens to know that Leon will be on a date with someone in the city.

• And not just anyone. A date with A BOY.

• And she can't deal with that so she oh so conveniently happened to have caught two trains and a bus just to be in there too.

• So Leon and Taka are sat in their favourite cafe, enjoying each other's company.

• When Leon sees a familiar face on the other side of the street. Heading this way.

• 'Oh fuck.'

• Taka's super confused as his boyfriend ducks down, covering his face with his jacket, looking intensely uncomfortable.

• 'Are you okay?'

• 'My cousin's here.'

• 'Your cousin?'

• Glancing out the window, Leon sees that Kanon is heading straight for the cafe and tries to shrink further down under the table.

• Why is she here?! What is he supposed to do?! And what about Taka?! What will she do to him?!

• The cafe door jingles open and he KNOWS it's her so he grabs the menu and tries to cover his face...

• Not knowing that Kanon knows JUST who to look for and bounds right over with a big smile.

• 'Hi Lee!!'

• He pries his face away from the menu, barely able to look her in the eye as he smiles uncomfortably.

• 'H-hey, Kanon...'

• 'I'm just meeting a friend and she's a BIG fan of yours and wanted to see if I could introduce you...'

• 'S-sure...'

• 'And she told me you'd be here today so I thought we'd meet here! She said you'd be on a date! So...where is she?'

• The mood has DEFINITELY changed now. The glint in her eye at the mention of date was one of jealousy.

• 'C'mon, Lee! I wanna meet the girl that stole your heart! I bet she's SUUUUUPER sexy, right?'

• Her words are like knives, sickly sweet and dangerous...

• But Taka reads the situation and chimes in.

• 'He's meeting her later. He wanted a pep talk first so asked me here before he meets her.'

• LIES! Kanon KNOWS that filthy boy is LYING and the glare she sends his way is completely opposite to the personality she's shown so far.

• But in a flash, she smiles back at Leon and slides into the seat next to him.

• 'Great! Let's hang out then, Lee! It's been wayyyy too long!'

• Taka REALLY isn't comfortable with what's happening.

• This girl, who must still be about 15, is pressed up far too much to her cousin - touching his arm VERY inappropriately and with her face FAR too close to be innocent.

• And Leon looks terrified - pressed right up against the window to try and be as far as possible but is quite obviously trapped.

• 'I think Leon needs a bit of space...'

• 'No this is how we ALWAYS are! We're SUPER close, aren't we Lee?'

• 'Leon doesn't look comfortable.'

• 'I said we're close. I don't need to listen to you.'

• 'I really think you should back off a bit.'

• 'And I think you should go to HELL!'

• Aha. Here we go. The act has dropped and there's a possessive, dangerous look in her eye as she snarls towards Taka.

• 'What do YOU know about my Lee?'

• 'He's not 'your Lee'...'

• 'YES HE IS! HE'S MINE! And YOU can't have him!'

• Leon looks absolutely powerless as Kanon crushes herself against him - begging Taka to help him with tearful eyes as he shrinks into himself in shame.

• Yeah. Enough is enough.

• Taka stands up and grabs Leon by the hand - using his entire strength to pull him (and therefore Kanon) out of the stall and towards the door.

• 'GET OFF MY LEE!'

• The girl goes crazy, punching and kicking Taka in an attempt to stop him until she's held back by other concerned patrons of the cafe.

• 'I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU FOR STEALING HIM! I HATE YOU!'

• Taka makes sure to push Leon out of the cafe before heading back abd he glares down at the girl in front of him.

• 'If you truly give a damn about Leon, then you will realise just what damage you've done today. You've humilated him in public, you have degraded him and you have shown a side to yourself that I'm sure you'll be ashamed of. Your feelings are obsessive and you need to get some help.'

• All the rage and emotion floods out of Kanon as she sees Leon sobbing outside, guilt and embarrassment taking over as she truly sees what she has become.

• Oh but Taka isn't done.

• With an ice cold looks, he offers one final warning.

• 'If you EVER pull this kind of shit again, I will not hesitate to involve the police. I don't care who you are or how young you are. I will NOT tolerate MY boyfriend being abused by anyone - especially his own family. So stay the fuck away from him.'

• Of course, the date is over so the rest of the day is spent comforting Leon in the solitude of Taka's dorm.

• Leon tells Taka everything right from the beginning and Taka vows to himself that he will keep Leon safe.

• And who knows? Maybe one day Kanon will realise what she's done and bridges can be built once again.

• But that's not for now.

• For now, Taka needs to remind this beautiful boy in his arms just how much he means to him in every single way he can.

[whoistheasshole]

How do I get out of this unsatisfying life I’m living?

Anonymous asks: So the thing is that I feel incredibly stuck - I have all the basics of life which I'm grateful for but also that was my BIG dream as a kid, to get tf out of my parents' house - but now I have that and idk what to do for the rest of my life. Like, if I try those "visualize your future" things I'm just like, "I'd like to sleep for a month, maybe longer" & it feels like I don't really WANT anything so I can't plan, you know? Just flailing here honestly. Pretty tired of it.

I wrote back: I got your question. To pinpoint my answer a little better, can you tell me about your current situation, like how long has it been since you moved out? Which are the things you have in order to your satisfaction? Some vague idea of your age range would also be helpful, but I can work without it too if you’d rather not share.

Anonymous answered: Ah, sorry. I was trying to fit in the character limit & also whenever I think about this my mind just goes flbbbbth. It's been about 5 years? That's about the only thing I'm truly HAPPY about, I'm not thrilled with my social/love life, career, etc & have pretty much been just coasting tbh. I'm almost 30. Thanks for entertaining this.

Alright, thanks for adding some background. I will come at this from different angles and you can pretty much pick and choose what sounds helpful and leave the rest, okay?

First, while there are people who have it all figured out, methodically planning their next career step or fully certain that there is no greater joy than raising a child, there are tons of other people who just, to quote, go „ flbbbbth“ when asked about their next steps or, god forbid, their life plan. I would say I fall in the latter camp, but I don’t mind because I think there is nothing wrong with that. I let myself be guided by the things I need to be happy (more on that later) and by current necessities – if my job becomes shit, I need to find a new job. If a friendship goes sour, I need to end it respectfully. But I couldn’t tell you specific career or personal goals, except...

... let’s talk about the „later“ now.

I’m an organizer, maybe even a worrier, and therefore I like lists. And for that reason I made a list a while ago that I still have and expect to keep for a long time. It is a list of everything that I need to be satisfied with my life. It consists of 29 entries and has three of them checked, though several others could be counted as half-checked. I wrote down everything that came to mind, paying no attention whether it was reasonable or feasible to want. That wasn’t the question.

It covers stuff like a clean flat (not checked), restful sleep (not checked), friends that I see regularly (checked) or a job with purpose (not checked). This list is my guide. Well, generally my needs are my guide, but it can be hard to be aware of your needs sometimes, so I got this list. And if I wonder what I need or want to focus on, I can turn to it and choose one of the entries and see what I can do about it. I can also look over the list every few years and see if things have developed in the right direction. Little progress is no reason to chastise myself, but helpful information to see whether I need to re-direct my focus.

Please note that I wrote „satisfied“, not „happy“. Being happy is a passing emotional state. It is completely normal and okay not to be happy all the time. But quiet satisfaction with where you are or where you are going, that is pretty achievable. It certainly is a process, but an enjoyable one.

This list is not a race and it is not really a to-do list because most of the things I wrote down aren’t easy to accomplish with a single action. They take months and years and, for some items, I can only try and hope it works out some day (see anybody who ever purposely looked for a partner).

So maybe this kind of list could be an exercise for you. Maybe it provides you with some insight, maybe it doesn’t. Maybe it’s not the right point in your life. But if you sit down and the only thing you can come up with is „cry forever“ or „sleep forever“ then, you know, that’s a sign.

Which brings me to my next point: Journaling or automatic writing. This method is especially helpful for those „I feel some kind of way and I couldn’t even tell you how“ moments – so maybe exactly where you are right now. Captain Akward has introduced me to a website called „750 words“ and I’ve used the principle of „morning pages“, though not the website, since then whenever I felt like some emotions were starting to boil over.

I sit down, ideally in the morning, and just barf it all on the (digital) page. There are only two rules: 1) Don’t edit or judge yourself, write everything as it comes to mind (that’s the automatic writing part) and 2) Don’t stop before you’ve reached 750 words. You are not looking to write anything readable or clever or lyrical, you’re looking to get all the weirdness out so you can move on. Repeat this as many days as you feel queasy or weird or confused or angry or sad. Each day, as soon as you’ve reached the 750 words, you can walk away. Heck, you could even delete/burn the document if that feels right. It’s just about giving your thoughts the room they need so you can continue with your day, hopefully feeling somewhat relieved.

While we’re at writing, I also have a question for you: Where is the pressure coming from to „do something with your life“? Is it truly coming from inside you or are there outside factors? Are people in your life asking you when you’ll have kids? Do you live in a culture where it’s expected that everybody does something of note, works certain prestigious jobs? Do you compare yourself to the people around you and feel like you’re „late“?

Maybe mull this over on a leisurely walk or write about it, using the method above. No matter where it’s coming from, the feeling of pressure won’t go away just by knowing its origin, but the knowledge can help you keep it under control. And if you find it is truly your own wish, you will have tools to shape your life according to your needs.

So, next, sleep: Maybe do that?

You wrote "I'd like to sleep for a month, maybe longer". I understand this was half a joke, but also … it was probably more than a joke.

How are your energy levels? How does life feel? Are you trying to jog through jello most of these days?

If we’ve been overachievers or had a tough home life or needed to take care of ourselves pretty early, we can become accustomed to everything being difficult. This feeling and behavior can become a way of life, even when circumstances change and we have a chance to act differently.

Do you feel rested? Do you have regular moments of quiet in your life that let you breathe? If not, this is where I would start. Forget about lists, though morning pages might be a helpful accompanying tool (if they don’t become a task to punish yourself with if you don’t find the energy).

Take some weeks or months, maybe even a year to make rest your priority. You will have to find a way that works for you. Yes there is a lot of clinically proven stuff out there, but you will not see me do yoga or meditate. Though feel free if that’s up your alley. If you love cycling or taking photos or drawing or just plain lying on your bed and staring at the wall, see where you can add more of that to your day. Whatever brings you closer to yourself and makes you feel like you can exhale and stand still for a moment, that’s the way to go. Do this as long as sleeping seems like a fine choice. And for good measure maybe a month longer. You are ready to stop when you cannot wait to do something else goddamnit I’m bored!!! (you might say)

If you are in this picture, please start here. Any kind of life plan, next steps, strategizing, solving of riddles would set you back and perpetuate your exhaustion. Rest is not time wasted, rest is how you get your life back.

If you are in this picture, you will likely find that if you really pull through, if you truly rest, as long and boring or even scary as it may be, the other questions will probably have an intuitive answer afterwards. Not like „this is my 20-year career plan“, but „I feel like doing x this week“. And that is enough. Because you won’t need to strain to hear your needs through the fog of exhaustion anymore.

Finally, some practical information and links for when you do have the energy and inclination to tackle your job and social life. I am not saying you need to change anything if that’s not what you want to focus on. These are just some tips, in case they become relevant.

For your social life, I recommend what others have recommended before me: Pick an activity that you do with other people and stick with it long enough to become a familiar face, see also here and here (yes, meeting gay people is similar to meeting other people). If you try out new stuff, go there at least 5 or 6 times before you decide it’s not for you – of course assuming nothing bad is coming up like racist or abusive people in the group. Shop around if the first group/activity doesn’t work for you until you find something that you’d like to do permanently. Maybe you’ll gain some friends, maybe you’ll find a romantic opportunity. In any case, if it’s something fun that you like to do anyway, you will have found an outlet with a social group attached. It is absolutely not as easy right now, with Covid and all, but if nothing outdoors-y comes to mind, you could also use this time to brainstorm what sounds like fun for when things are safer again.

Of course you can also look at opportunities online, like Discord servers, online interest groups etc but I do understand if that’s just not appealing right now. I am certainly over sitting in front of a screen.

To round this up, don’t sneeze at contacts that you already have. Are there acquaintances, friends of friends, colleagues, family members who you would like to get to know better? Then go do that! Suggest a time and place to meet up and see how they react. Say yes to the potential friends.

Speaking of which...

The Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes might also be interesting. Sure, it’s a little pop culture positive thinking kinda stuff, but I did like the impulse it gave me to consider when I say no to opportunities out of anxiety or worry. It made me accept some social invitations from colleagues (… in the before times) that I would not have otherwise considered. I did not gain life-long friends, but I did learn another valuable info: That my FOMO wasn’t justified for these events ;)

It also lead me to the decision to do one new thing every month – visit a new place or try a new activity or cook a new food. If the concept sounds appealing, just think about what sounds interesting and achievable to you.

And finally, the advice blog recommendations that I’ll always have. For social life, love life, and general life planning turmoil: Captain Awkward. For everything job-related, including how to write a good cover letter or interview well and, of course, how to get out of the dreaded current job you have: Ask A Manager.

To sum it up:

1) Figure out if you even have the energy to tackle any of this right now.

2) Figure out your pillars for a satisfying life – nothing big and shiny, just … basic needs, wishes, social needs.

3) When you feel like it, pick what you want to tackle next and see where it leads you.

4) Stay flexible. This is your life and it’s okay to go where it takes you, even if it doesn’t look „cool“ or „impressive“ from the outside. All you need is to make it your own.

And if you want to, let me know how it goes some time. :)

[anightflower]

One Night Stand

Summary: After a shitty one night stand, Bucky slut shames your sex life. You get a little revenge by playing a game Bucky doesn’t like. 

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: NSFW, 18+ ONLY: S M U T 

You grumbled as you made your way down to the Towers main kitchen. Your body ached, you were exhausted, and all you wanted was a cup or coffee and some goddamn peace and quiet.

You internally groaned when you noticed that the kitchen was not empty. Bucky and Sam sat at the breakfast bar. One drowsily eating cereal, while the other attempted to flick runaway cereal pieces at the other. Natasha sat perched next to the coffee machine, scrolling through her phone and sipping from a mug of coffee.

Natasha's eyes left her phone and lit up as she focused on you. “You look tired (Y/N)” she snickered. “Did you have a late night last night?” 

Out of the corner of your eye you noticed Bucky and Sam focus on you.

You glared at Nat as you made your way to the coffee pot and poured yourself a cup of coffee. 

Don’t even start. “I don’t know what makes you say that Nat.” You said irritated.

“Well for one you look like hell, and two I don’t think you’re supposed to put salt in your coffee. Unless you really prefer it that way.” Sam piped up with a shiteating grin. 

“Oh hell.” You hissed, tossing your salty coffee down the sink. 

Natasha made her way over to you with a fresh mug of coffee. “So tell me, was he good?” 

You nearly dropped the cup she handed to you. “NAT!” 

“Oh please. I saw you sneak out last night like a horny teenager. You’re an adult now, you can talk about sex. Unless the boys can't handle it.” She raised a brow at Sam and Bucky who pretended not to listen. 

Sam smirked into his coffee. Bucky remained stone-faced, glaring slightly at Natasha. 

“I for one, don’t need to hear the details of another one of your slinky one night stands doll.” Bucky grumbled angrily, pushing his stool back from the counter. 

“Slinky one night stands? Are you fucking kidding me Buck? Sorry I am a grown woman looking for quality sex that I clearly can’t find here!” You growled. 

Bucky eyes burned with anger. He looked like he was about to say something but all he did was huff and leave the room. 

“Sam maybe it’s time you got Bucky laid.” Nat observed, “He seems to always have a stick far up his ass.”

“Trust me, it’s not all it's cracked up to be.” You mumbled, stirring more creamer into your coffee. 

“Was it really that bad?”  Nat asked. 

“Oh, the guy wasn’t bad, he was horrific. Only cared about himself. I may as well have stayed home and used a toy for hell’s sake. 

Sam winced. “I did not need to know you had sex toys.” 

“Oh grow up Sam, it’s not a woman’s fault that men don’t know what they’re doing. Men are the problem, sex toys are the solution.” 

“Well, who knows (Y/N), maybe you'll meet a special someone at Stark’s Charity Gala Saturday.” Nat said wiggling her eyebrows at you.

“Fuck, I forgot that was this weekend. I’m all for charity, but if I’m forced to go to another one of Stark’s fucking parties-” You groaned. 

“Uhem” You heard a familiar voice sound from the door. “First off you love my parties, even if it’s deep down. Second, you always look ravishing in whatever you wear, and lastly, you get all the free alcohol you want. All you have to do is force a smile and be friendly.” Tony hummed.

You rolled your eyes as you pushed past him, careful not to spill your coffee. If Saturday you had to be a social butterfly, today would be a lock yourself in your room and watch Netflix kinda day.

____________________________________________________________________________

“Tony was right, you do always manage to look ravishing. Very Bond-esque” Sam said to you as he entered your room. 

You smiled at him through your reflection, admiring the slimming black dress you had on. “Thanks Sam. Have you come to be my handsome escort?” 

He held a hand out to you,  “Bond, James Bond, happily at your service.

His other hand produced a bottle of expensive liquor from behind his back, a liquor that was most likely stolen from Tony’s “hidden” cabinet. “I have also come to get you throughly wasted before this party. Bucky’s in a bitchy mood and Steve’s very busy trying to untie Bucky’s panties.” 

“In that case, pour us some drinks, it’s going to be a long night if we have to deal with not one, but two grouchy old men.” 

__________________________________________________________________________

You could have sworn this party was more extravagant than the last. The room shone with several different lights, giving it an ethereal glow. Champagne fountains stood about the room. It was like walking into a Great Gatsby fantasy.

Bucky and Steve were already at the bar, causing your joy to deflate a bit. You had avoided Bucky at every cost since the two of you had fought. He hadn’t sought you out to apologize either.

You let out an exaggerated sigh. “I hope the bar has enough of the strong stuff, otherwise I don’t think I’ll be able to deal with Bucky’s bitchiness all night, even with the alcohol we had before this in my system.” 

Sam snickered. “He still hasn’t apologized has he?” 

“Nope. So he’s definitely on my shit list. He had no reason to be angry with me or shame my sex life.” 

Sam looked like he was about to say something, but stopped himself. He shook his head. “Just ignore him (Y/N). Bucky will be Bucky. Besides if you really feel like enacting revenge I know a little game you can play to piss him off even more.”

You groaned. “Sam as much as I would love to piss Bucky off more, I am not in the mood to play 'One Night Rate’ right now. This last guy really put me off for a while.” 

“Oh come on (Y/N)! One guy can’t ruin your chances of a great one night stand. Look at all the beautiful people here.” He said gesturing around the room. “You’re telling me there isn’t a single guy you want to take home?” 

There was one guy you wanted to take home, but he currently was the one person who you weren’t speaking to. You knew you would probably regret this but-

“Fine.” You groaned. “I’ll play, but that doesn’t mean I have to follow through with it.” 

Sam grinned as you two made your way over to Bucky and Steve.

Steve smiled at the two of you, but it quickly turned into a suspicious look at the grin on Sam’s face.  “What are you two up to?” 

You and Sam remained quiet smirking at one another. Steve finally put the pieces together. 

“You two are not playing One Night Rate again are you?” He groaned.  

“Listen man, (Y/N) needs a better partner to make up for the last guy. The least I can do is support her and give good advice.” Sam said, as you blushed. 

“You’re the one who convinced me to do it! I wasn’t even going to play it.” You laughed, nudging Sam’s shoulder. 

Bucky stared at the three of you stone faced. “Do I even want to know what this game is?” 

You gave Bucky a sarcastic smirk. “It’s a game Sam, Steve, and I came up with one night at one of Tony’s galas-” 

“It was mostly Sam and (Y/N).” Steve interjected. 

You rolled your eyes. “Sure it was Golden Boy.” Sam snickered. “Anyway, we were bored and perhaps a bit more intoxicated than we should have been-” 

“Excuses, excuses.” Sam interrupted you. “You are avoiding the point. It’s basically a game where one of us chooses a person and the jury,” he gestured to you and Steve, “Comes to a consensus on whether or not that person should be brought home or not.”

Bucky raised his eyebrows. “Are you guys serious?” 

“If you’re going to slut shame, you can always hang with Nat, I’m sure she’s drunk enough to put up with your assholery. Besides, you wouldn’t want to play such a sleazy game right?” You said, plastering a fake smile on your face. 

Bucky winced. “(Y/N)-”

You held up a hand, stopping him. “I don’t want to hear it right now James.” You only called him by his first name when you were really pissed with him. “Right now, I want to drink, find a guy, and get an actual good fuck. So if you’ll excuse me.” You pushed past the three men, ignoring their shocked faces and Bucky’s very pissed one.

Sam grimaced. “So much for playing the game. Something tells me she’ll follow her own rules right now.”

____________________________________________________________________________

Sam had remained at the bar with Bucky and Steve, long after you left them. Bucky’s face was steely, his eyes following every move you made on the dance floor. You weren’t alone, and of course the guy you had chosen was incredibly handsy with you. As his hands slide down your body, Bucky couldn't help but let out a growl.

“Buck, I don’t get it. Why won’t you just apologize and tell her how you feel? You’re being idiotic.” Steve said gently, putting a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. 

Sam nodded along with Steve’s sentiment. “Dude maybe if you opened your eyes you’d see that she actually likes you back.” 

Bucky’s eyes shot to Sam. “What the hell did you say Wilson?”

Sam gave him a look. “Don’t play dumb with me Barnes, you heard what I said. She likes you. I’m surprised that such a good assassin like you could miss something as blatant as that.” 

“Then why the hell does she go off with other guys then?” Bucky asked, irritated.

“Because she’s just as blind to it as you. You have no idea how obnoxious it is to be the middleman and keep quiet, especially when you’re dealing with two oblivious morons.” Sam groaned. Steve cackled loudly.

“What am I supposed to do? She’s off with some other guy.” Bucky sighed. 

Steve smirked at him, “That never stopped you in the 40’s.”

_____________________________________________________________________________

This guy was doing nothing for you. He was sweaty, way too handsy, and was unfortunately not as attractive up close, a drunken mistake on your part. But you knew Bucky was watching and you would not cave easily, so you kept dancing. 

The guy pulled you taut against him. “So babe when do you want to get out of here?” 

You grimaced, resisting the urge to push the guy off you. Was pissing Bucky off really worth all this?

“I think I can take it from here bud.” A familiar voice said. It sent chills down your spine. Your date, what was his name? Jake? Jason? You couldn't even remember, that’s how uninteresting he was. 

He turned to Bucky releasing his grip on you. “Back off dude, she’s taken.” 

Bucky glared at him unmoving. “I think you misunderstood me asshole. Fuck off.” The dance floor lights flashed over Bucky’s face giving sweaty hands a better look at who he was talking to. 

His face paled. “Oh shit I’m so sorry man, she’s all yours.” He quickly pushed through the crowd on the dance floor to get away. 

You turned to Bucky and crossed your arms. “Are you fucking kidding me James?  First, you call me sleazy and now you chase off any fucking guy I am interested in? What is wrong with y-” 

Your rant was cut off as Bucky dragged you off the dance floor and through a maze of halls. You were too shocked to say anything as he pushed you into the fancy one stall bathroom and locked the door. 

You yanked your arm out of his grasp. “What the fuck is wrong with you? You can’t just scare my date off then drag me into a bathroom.”

“Oh please, that guy was a scumbag, you could do much better.” Bucky snarled.  

He turned his back on you and let out a frustrated growl, running his hands through his hair. 

“You weren’t even playing the game right.” He said quietly. 

“What?” 

He turned back to you and moved toward you, causing you to back up until you hit the sink counter. His arms pinned down on either side of you and he leaned in. There were mere inches between both of your lips. 

“I said you weren’t even playing the game right. You’re supposed to consult Sam and Steve and come to a consensus. You just picked a random asshole to piss me off. I at least played the game right.” He growled.

You heart was in your throat. You thought of what to say to defend your choices, then you realized what Bucky said. “Wait what do you mean you’re playing the game right?”

Bucky smirked. “The jury came to a consensus. You’re the best choice to take home tonight. You got the highest rating (Y/N).” His smile turned more sincere. “I want to take you home tonight and every night if you’ll let me. I know I’ve been an ass to you and I’m sorry. I was just so pissed that other guys got to have you while I couldn’t. And-”

You grabbed Bucky by his shirt collar and pulled him in, smashing your lips against his. A growl emanated from his throat as he wrapped his arms around you. Causing both of you to go into a frenzy. 

You wrapped your legs around his waist as he lifted you up and placed you on the bathroom counter. You whined as Bucky placed kisses all down your neck. He sucked harshly in certain areas making you gasp. 

“If I can finally have you all to myself, I want to mark you as mine.” He mumbled against your neck. His words went straight to your soaking core. 

You began unbuttoning his shirt as he pushed up your dress. He pulled it over your head and  threw it behind him, pausing to admire you in your matching black lace set. You returned the favor and pushed off his suit jacket as he attempted to unbutton his shirt. You let out a moan when his chiseled body was finally fully in view.

Bucky pulled down your bra causing your breasts to be pushed up from the material. He purred as he leaned down and worshipped each one, placing kisses all over the top, then moving down and sucking on your nipple. His hand went to your other breast, his fingers massaging and playing with your other nipple. He tugged at it causing you to let out a loud moan. 

“Fuck, Bucky,” you cried out. He smirked as his hands and mouth traveled down your body. When he finally reached your panties, he looked you in the eye and slowly pulled them down with his teeth. 

You were speechless. 

“Fuck baby, just a few words and some teasing and you’re soaking for me,” He hissed out, his dick hardening as he gazed at your sexed out and wanton state. 

‘Bucky please.” You begged. Wanting, no, needing him to touch you. 

He smirked at you. “Oh I see now doll, when you want me to fuck you I’m Bucky, notJames?”

“James Buchanan Barnes, if you do not fuck me right now-” you growled. 

Bucky chuckled, lowering his mouth to where you needed it most. Your growl turned into a pleasurable scream. 

Bucky looked up at you, amusement in his eyes. He paused his work. “You know love, you’re lucky the music is so loud, otherwise you and I could be caught in this very scandalous position.”

You smirked and bit your lip. “Let them find us then.” 

With that Bucky feasted on you like you were his last meal. His tongue swirling over your clit and licking your slit until you felt that delicious build up in your stomach. Your hands grasped and pulled at his hair. 

“Bucky, don’t stop, I'm going to-” whiteness filled your vision as you came. You tried to close your legs, but Bucky had them pinned against the counter, continuing his work until you finished riding out your orgasm. 

Your chest rose and fell rapidly as Bucky kissed back up your body until he met your lips. 

You undid his belt and pants, letting his bulging member free. Bucky wasted no time lining himself up with your entrance. Sliding in slowly until he filled you completely. 

You gasped at the pleasure that filled your body. You had never felt so full in any other one night stand. Hell hardly any of them had made you come like this once, or at all. 

“God doll, you’re so tight.” Bucky groaned as he gave you time to adjust to his size. 

“Bucky if you don’t start moving-” you threatened, but were cut off as Bucky quickly thrust in and out of you.

He smirked as you let out a pleasured squeak. 

“Fuck you” you giggled. 

“Gladly.” He replied as he picked up his pace. 

It was relentless and god it was the greatest sex you had ever had. He had actually put your pleasure first, and was about to make you come again. 

The feeling built up in your stomach, and you clenched around Bucky. As if he could read your mind, he reached down and began rubbing your clit. You had to bite back a scream. 

Bucky smashed his lips against yours, as white flashed again in your vision, as your second orgasm hit you. Bucky followed soon after. 

When you both came down from your highs, your eyes met and you giggled. 

“What?” Bucky asked, returning your smile. 

“I swear this better be the last one night stand I ever had, because all I want for the rest of my life is you Bucky Barnes.” 

Bucky’s eyes softened and he planted a soft kiss on your lips. “Funny, because all I’ve ever wanted for the longest time, is you.” You felt your heart skip a beat. 

Bucky’s face turned more mischievous. “Now let’s get out of here. I have a long night planned to show you that you actually can find quality sex around here.” 

[xdandelionxbloomx]

Modern Day AU idea

(CW: cancer - not major character death)

Jaskier and Geralt had been friends for nearly a decade and a half - 

They met in college when they were randomly assigned roommates and they fucking HATED each other at first, couldn’t stand each other’s guts - Geralt thought Julian was a trust fund baby who got an easy ride and he talked so goddamn much without ever SAYING anything and wasn’t that exhausting??? Jaskier hated Geralt because the man was so fucking quiet and prickly and he never listened to music - who the hell never listens to music? And really it was a nightmare for the first half of the year and then one day Geralt came home early from his weekend trip he took out to Kaer Morhen Ranch about two hours out from their school and Julian was in TEARS on the bed, staring down at a financial aid bill and Geralt’s whole world turned on its axis. 

Something changed between them that night and although they still were at each other’s throats, it was softer and slowly actual anger turned into bickering and then into blows that didn’t land at all, uncertain smiles and shared chores. 

(And maybe Julian finally told Geralt that it was Jaskier and Geralt corrected himself immediately)

Geralt could COOK and Jaskier finally found out what music he liked and everyone on their goddamn floor had bets for when they’d get together as Jaskier sang and played his stupid guitar while the hottest dude in the boy’s dorm cooked for him in the tiny, awful kitchen

Their latter years of college were spent sharing an apartment when Jaskier secured a better job and Geralt started training horses at Kaer Morhen and it brought in a solid amount of funds - “Welcome home, Cowboy-” started out as a joke, but the endearment STUCK

And so, yeah, Jaskier was fucking hopelessly in love with Geralt and he just,,, existed in some kind of goddamn limbo. It felt like they danced a line so close and then Geralt would fall into a relationship - Renfi, Yennefer, he WON’T think about that three month tryst with some dude named Regis like who names their kid Regis-- 

Jaskier wrote and wrote and wrote and yeah, he’d gone to school for creative writing but on an open mic night someone from a label spotted him and suddenly he was swept up into this wild life in the media and he was singing and touring and suddenly little busking jobs turned into stadiums with lights so bright he couldn’t see the crowd and he just missed Geralt so much---

And they see each other every few months but it’s not how it used to be and Jaskier feels so lost-- 

And then-- 

And then one day he woke up with a sore throat and then-- 

Then he found his neck oddly swollen and he caved and went to the doctor and--

And the doctor tells him-- 

He tells him it’s cancer-- 

Early stages, they have a good chance of beating it, he just has to follow the treatment plan-- 

And it was in his throat because of course the world would want to keep that out of his reach too--

Jaskier arrived one dry summer afternoon at the Kaer Morhen ranch in a big black SUV that peeled away as soon as it dropped him-- 

And Geralt was there, of course he was there, and it was Roach - this little chestnut mare he’d been working to rehabilitate - she was aggressive to most other people and didn’t play well with the other creatures on the ranch and Geralt was terrible at texting but he sent Roach pictures every three days-- 

And Jaskier kind of wants to cry because they said there was a good chance, but what if-- what if there’s not because it’s cancer and what if it spreads to the rest of him-- 

And he’s terrified-- 

He’s wasted so much time-- 

So much time-- 

Geralt saw him and lit up, and he fucking-- he vaulted over the fence like he wasn’t almost thirty five, light and spry and strong as ever, and Jaskier’s weak in the knees-- 

“Hey, Cowboy.” He said and his voice cracked, sounded rough, and he reaches up to scrub at his face, laughing without humor, unsure of how to hold himself together-- 

Geralt’s on him in moments-- 

And Jaskier babbled about needing a break and medical visits--

And CANCER--

Jaskier didn’t tell him that he loved him that night-- 

He didn’t tell him for a long time-- 

It felt like a long time, anyways-- 

Geralt couldn’t wrap his head around the whole thing because Jaskier has never smoked so how-- 

And it could have been secondhand Jaskier tried to explain, tried to illustrate smokers in their lavish mansions with food that looked beautiful and tasted like shit, and GOD he’d missed Geralt’s cooking-- 

Treatment was hard and he’d been traveling for the first half, but he eventually got to the point he couldn’t handle it anymore and he was going to say goodbye to Geralt and maybe-- 

But Geralt told him to stay, to be there, and Jaskier was always weak to refuse a request from Geralt so he stayed-- 

And Jaskier tried to tell him, he tried to, because there were days where he felt like time and the world was slipping out of his hands, where he felt like a ghost in his own body, wandering the halls of something unrecognizable-- 

And-- 

And--- 

He couldn’t even sing very well anymore at all-- 

And-- 

Jaskier shuffled out on the porch one night when he couldn’t find Geralt - the man’s hunched over a disgusting black coffee which meant he was worried and he was staring at the horse paddock like he could see something through the night-- 

“Cowboy.” Jaskier’s voice was a crackle, a raw noise, and Geralt startled, looking up at him, and then he looked wounded and Jaskier HATED that-- 

“I can go if it’s too much.” Jaskier rasped, wincing at the toll.

“No,” Geralt retorted immediately - “Don’t ever go.”  

And Jaskier started crying right then and there on the porch in autumn with a tiny breeze enough to make him shiver--

“I should have told you,” His voice creaked, “I should have told you.”

And Geralt stood and held him and didn’t ask and Jaskier couldn’t bring himself to say it-- 

And then-- 

And then-- 

They tell him it’s over-- 

That he’s cancer free-- 

And the not enough time fear has become something new he can’t fathom (years stretch ahead of him, seasons rolling) and he doesn’t return to the world Out There he stays on the ranch while he works through recovery--

And he day that he hollers across to the paddock without feeling like he’d swallowed glass, he realizes-- 

And he doesn’t say it, not really-- 

Geralt comes in that night dirty and exhausted and Jaskier-- 

He crowds him up against the wall of the little ranch house, rattling some of the pictures on the wall as his best friend in the whole world’s back hits it-- 

The love of his goddamn life-- 

“They’re all about you.” He says--

“Every single goddamn one is about you and I almost didn’t have enough time-- I didn’t--” And he kisses Geralt because he cannot do anything else-- 

And Geralt kisses him back desperately, winds those stupid strong arms around his neck and pulls him in until they’re pressed against each other from chest to hip--

“Don’t ever go.” Geralt’s voice is a rough rumble from working out with the horses all day and from emotion and Jaskier wraps his arms around his waist, squeezing him tightly, pressing his face to his neck-- 

“Never.” He says--

And when he comes back-- 

When he comes back to social media it’s about how he beat cancer and got his voice back-- 

And his new single-- 

His new single is a tender ballad (his voice is slightly off, but it always will be after the ordeal his body went through to keep it) about a cowboy who went grey early, who liked his coffee with milk and sugar on good mornings, who had warm hands, and-- 

Everyone loses their shit-- 

Because it’s gay country music and so many feel fucking seen-- 

And Jaskier’s upbeat pop songs become a mix with slower country and he doesn’t have the twang but he sings of love and ranches and horses and sunsets with a beat up pickup truck-- 

And Jaskier is HAPPY--

He’s even happier a few years later when he posts a picture of a simple gold band on his finger (without a caption since he doubted it needed one).

[anonniemousefics]

Hello! I absolutely adore your writing, especially your writings of kanej! Anyway, I would love to see you write something about jealousy from either kaz or inej, I just think it would be interesting to see your take on it! Obviously you don’t have to, I love your work! You’re a great writer!

❤️ Thank you so much!! This was so sweet to receive, and I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long to get this to you! So, hopefully you’re cool with this, but I decided to apply this idea in a modern AU because I have another request I’m also working on for a modern AU and this felt like an opportunity for some more practice. 😊 (And it just made it more fun for me -- idk, my brain just needed to do something new with these characters to make this work.) 

Samples - Modern AU

Fandom: Six of Crows | Kaz + Inej (ft. all the other Crows)

Word Count: 3,545

Rating: Teen And Up (Language)

“Who did this?”

All of Kaz’s friends were doubling over in laughter around the round hand-me-down table in Kaz and Jesper’s apartment. There were black and white Cards Against Humanity prompts spread across its surface – the most offensive combination of which had Inej, well, and everyone else, in fits.

What made my first kiss so awkward? had been the prompt Inej had drawn.

To which Kaz had submitted the following, randomly-selected card for her consideration – Announcing that I am about to cum. And then kept his poker face locked in place.

“Who did this?” Inej was demanding again, clutching her stomach.

Kaz wasn’t sure why he was hesitating -- something strange was happening while all of this was playing out. Nina had one hand on Inej’s arm while she was fairly screeching with laughter. Inej was slumping against Jesper, like the laugh was shaking her boneless. In fact, everywhere he looked, he was noticing how they were each exchanging these casual, unconscious touches in the midst of their mirth – Matthias turning his face against Nina’s shoulder, Wylan slapping Jesper’s shoulder.

No one was touching Kaz, though – which, that was good, though, right? That was because they were his friends, and they were thoughtful, and they knew all about The Very Sad Thing that had made him the way that he was.

And yet --

Kaz couldn’t find it in himself to laugh. He should be laughing, though, he realized. A normal person would be laughing, given the infectious nature of laughter. And also it was genuinely a really funny card – that’s why he’d played it. But all he could do was force a smile, and that was it.

He suddenly felt like an alien among them.

“Was it you?!” Inej was exclaiming, waving the card at him. Kaz designed what he hoped was a coy smirk for her.

“Are you saying that’s your favorite?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“It was you.” Inej looked appalled, which only made everyone around the table hoot louder. Kaz was still smirking as she threw his winning card back at him with a mischievous, red-faced grin on her face.

“Oh, my God, Brekker.” Nina was wiping the tears off her apple-red cheeks.

“Why does that make it so much worse?” Matthias wondered, since he evidently could never not take a jab at Kaz. He scrubbed his eyes like he needed to wash them out.

And still not a single laugh out of Kaz’s body – this was disturbing. How long had he been this way? And why did he care so much all of a sudden?

“Guys, I’m pretty sure he won,” Wylan was saying, pointing at Kaz’s stack of wins. Had he? Everyone turned to count their cards.

Jesus Christ, he hadn’t even been paying attention to winning? But Kaz loved winning. It was the only reason he tolerated his roommate hosting these raucous game nights – because it meant Kaz could win things. And usually a lot of things. It was especially choice winning things off of Matthias Helvar, Nina’s latest lughead boyfriend she’d met at the gym, who now had to be invited to everything even though he sucked. He was always cuddling close to Nina, putting his arm around her, whispering gross things in her ear that made her giggle insufferably. It was so fucking uncomfortable.

Kaz never acted that way around Inej, and they’d been together for years. Sort of. Not always officially. It really had only been officially lately, but Kaz had always told himself he wasn’t one to need to put labels on things. Inej knewhow he felt – he knew this. (Did he, though?) He definitely knew this. (No, he didn’t.) There was no need to be like Matthias fucking Helvar and canoodle her in front of everyone on game night.

Oh, God. Kaz was suddenly having a realization, right there in the middle of counting his cards.

Oh, God.

He was jealous of Matthias Helvar.

Oh, this sucked.

This really fucking sucked. Kaz thought no one in their right mind should ever be jealous of that big dumb fuck, with his protein shakes and his weirdly popular fitspo Instagram page. The guy looked like he ate nothing but wild-caught salmon and organic broccoli. He wasn’t funny, and he’d say weirdly spiritual shit at socially unacceptable times. He probably spent his weekends doing annoying, on-brand fuckery like being one with nature and brewing his own kombucha, that asshole.

And this was the guy who felt comfortable enough to kiss a girl’s ear in a total stranger’s apartment. (Well, not a total stranger, Kaz would relinquish that – Nina had been dating Matthias for three months.) Matthias Helvar was doing all that nothing with his life, and he wasn’t the least bit self-conscious.

Ugh. Kaz hated that guy. Worse! Kaz wanted to be that guy. Minus the kombucha and the religious stuff. And the gym membership. And probably the protein shakes.

Ok, fine, Kaz was only interested in the PDA. This was so fucking awful.

“What number were we playing to?” he heard himself ask. He wasn’t even paying attention to card counting. He was going to have to start again.

“Can’t count that high, Brekker?” Matthias asked, smirking, and there was always something Kaz took as halfway serious in the way he tried to joke.

“Die in a fire, Helvar,” he said, with a smile that was as good as a middle finger.

“And on that note!” Nina sung out, standing with a hand on Matthias’ shoulder. “It’s almost midnight. I have an eight a.m. class. We gotta call it a night.”

“Matthias drove us,” Inej explained to Kaz’s questioning look at the word “We.”

Inej and Nina were roommates, too, like Kaz and Jesper, but the two girls lived on campus in the dorms at Ketterdam University, where all but Matthias attended. (Fucking Matthias, who was a personal trainer and got money from wellness companies to tout their shit on his Instagram. Ugh.) Wylan, Jesper’s boyfriend, was also living in the dorms this year, after spending his freshmen year commuting from his dad’s enormous house. Wylan had been the one with the car before Kaz had finally scraped together the money for one, but his dad had cut him off over the summer. Kaz didn’t know much about that beyond what little Jesper had told him, which, in summary, was: goodbye, car; hello, dorm life.

“You should have said something – I could have picked you all up,” Kaz said, mostly to Inej, as the others were standing from the table.

Nina reached a tentative hand out to gently touch his shoulder, well-protected by the fabric of his black v-neck.

“Kaz,” she said, gingerly, “we love you, but Matthias has functioning air conditioning.”

Kaz slid his glance toward Inej, who gave a little confirming nod, pressing back her amused smile.

“My thighs don’t stick to the seats in his car,” she explained, softly, which may as well have been a knife to the gut. He loved driving her around in his car. And, to top it off, she was in a pair of really adorable denim cut offs, her legs deeply tan from the summer sun, and he hadn’t even had the nerve to try to touch her exposed knee all night. (Meanwhile, Hands-On Helvar over here had been sitting with his palm all over Nina’s plentiful thighs all night. God, he was so gross. Couldn’t Kaz be just a little bit gross?)

“Are you okay?” Inej was asking. She was stepping a little closer to him away from where everyone else was putting on shoes, preparing to leave. She had her arms wrapped around herself and her loose, purple crop-top, and her long, dark braid was pulled over her shoulder – just mercilessly cute all over. And he hadn’t touched her all night.

“I’m fine,” he replied, but he kept his hands in his jeans pockets. Inej’s dark brows knit together.

“You’d tell me if you weren’t?” she checked. Kaz huffed a laugh – how was he supposed to answer that? Realistically, he should lie.

“Probably not,” he admitted anyway, and gave a shrug. Inej opened her mouth to reply, but Nina called to her from the doorway of the apartment.

“Sorry! Eight a.m. class! She’s going to text you from the car anyway!” Nina was shouting.

“She’s not wrong,” Inej shrugged with a smile. And reached out to barely brush her hand against his spine, like the first attempt at a hug. But Kaz could only bunch up his shoulders, hands stuffed deeper into his pockets. Why was he like this?

There were a few more awkward goodbyes at the doorway, including Matthias’ one-more last-minute sales pitch on the recent CBD-infused green powder drink he was hawking online. (“I’ll bring you some samples next week. They say it’s excellent for chronic pain.” Kaz had flipped him off when his back was turned.)

But then, once they’d all gone and the apartment was quiet, Kaz felt like he was rolling in regret.

“You doing ok?” Jesper asked him, gathering up the empty Solo cups for the trash. Jesper was a really good roommate. They’d been randomly assigned the same dorm room at the beginning of freshmen year, and it just worked. Jesper’s high energy plus Kaz’s insomnia were meant to be. They liked all the same things: strong coffee, getting paid dirty money to write other people’s papers for them, and occasionally clearing the mind by playing Call of Duty all night. They’d moved off campus the following year (a better move for the plagiarism operation), never even really having a conversation about whether or not to room with someone else. It was not even a question, and who else would Kaz even want to room with?

“You’ve seemed off all night,” Jesper was pointing out, and if Kaz had half a brain, he knew he should have been asking Jesper for advice about PDA long before it had reached envying-Matthias-Helvar-levels. Jesper and Wylan were normal in public. When they held hands or hugged or traded kisses, it wasn’t some fucking scene.

But how was he even supposed to bring this up to Jesper?

“Helvar’s such a dillweed,” was all he could find to complain. Jesper snorted.

“He is not that bad,” he said, dumping a stack of Solo cups into the trash.

“He’s the literal worst,” Kaz objected. “I can’t believe he unironically called himself an influencer.” And at that, Jesper pretended to barf into the trashcan.

“Yeah, no, you’re right – that was dumb,” he said. “I commend you for not cutting off your own ears when he did.”

“We are not buying his stupid fucking green juice,” Kaz said, pointing at Jesper to show he meant business.

“Good!” Jesper agreed. “Nina says it gives him the shits.”

And that brought Kaz some comfort. He found he could smirk about it while he loaded up the dishwasher. He was starting it up when his phone buzzed on the counter. He leaned over to read it.

Inej: You seemed sad tonight.

Inej’s contact photo in his phone was one he’d snapped when she wasn’t looking – she was leaning her head back with her eyes closed, taking in the sunshine. It had made her brown skin glimmer and dazzle.

Kaz stared at her text for probably too long. Long enough for Jesper to peer around the corner of the kitchen doorway at him.

“I’m going to bed – everything okay?” he said, and cocked his head. “Is it another last minute job?” Those kinds of jobs – the ones where a student was giving up the night before something massive was due – paid the most, but for good reason. They were absolutely fucking miserable to pull off.

“No,” Kaz shook his head. “Just Inej.”

It was never “just Inej” – and Jesper nodded like he knew that.

“Hey, Kaz,” he said, as he began to leave for his bedroom. Kaz looked up at him sidelong as he mouthed, barely audible: “Tell her what’s wrong.”

“Thank you, Dr. Phil.” Kaz rolled his eyes. And heaved a heavy sigh.

And started typing.

Kaz: I guess I was a little.

Whoa, pressing send on that was unpleasant. He wandered over to his preferred recliner in the living room and flopped back in it. Shoved the footrest up to elevate his bad leg. Ugh. Just ugh to everything and everyone. He looked down at his phone again.

And Inej had been quick to respond.

Inej: You can tell me these things, you know.

Inej: I know I won’t always have the right thing to say, but I want to be there for you.

Inej. Why are you being so perfect so far away?

Why are you wasting your time with a boyfriend who struggles to touch you?

Inej: Are you writing a novel?

He’d been writing and rewriting the same sentence twenty different times. She’d probably been looking at those ominous three bobbing dots for way too long.

Ugh. God. Fine. Kaz drew in a long deep breath, staring up at the ceiling like it could intervene and come to his aid. And then fucking wrote.

Kaz: I wish things were different

Kaz: I wish I wasn’t so fucked

Kaz: I wish I knew how to be a better boyfriend – how to make you blush and laugh and make that one smile that’s like you’re telling secrets with your eyes

He pushed the recliner back as far as it would go. Maybe it would tip and dump him on his head and he’d have to go to the hospital, and that would at least delay Inej inevitably breaking up with him for being this pathetic wet blanket. The phone buzzed again, and he almost didn’t want to look.

Inej: Um, where were you all night? You literally had me doing all those things all night

Huh. That wasn’t how he remembered it.

Kaz: On the opposite side of the table from you

Kaz: Watching basically everyone else be able to touch you but me

Oh, fuck, oh, fuck, oh, fuck. That sounded so petulant, and he’d already pressed send. That sounded so needy and disgusting. Who said that kind of shit? Not even Matthias Helvar said that kind of shit. He wanted to throw his phone across the room. No, out the window. No, out into the sea.

Now he was on the receiving end of the three bobbing dots of doom. Fuuuuck.

Kaz: Can we just forget I said that?

More dots. Then nothing.

Then dots.

Inej: I don’t know. You’re kind of cute when you’re jealous.

At that, Kaz raised his eyebrows.

Kaz: I am not jealous.

Inej: You’re a little jealous

Kaz: No, I feel insufficient.

(Oooof. That was like trying to throw an anvil. Painful.)

Inej: Oh

Kaz was watching the texts come in from beneath his arm now, holding the phone high over his head. Like watching the slasher scenes in a horror movie.

Inej: I mean

Inej: It seems like you’re just splitting hairs here

Inej: Since you must think others are sufficient in ways you are not, so you envy them

…

Kaz: Touche, Ghafa.

And he couldn’t help smiling to himself when Inej sent him a gif of a swashbuckling cartoon Robin Hood brandishing a sword. Then another text bubble appeared.

Inej: You are not insufficient to me, Kaz.

He really wanted to believe that.

Kaz: Even if I’m not hanging all over you and amassing a truly staggering number of Instagram followers with my six-pack abs?

Inej: O.M.G.

Inej: Kaz

Inej: Brekker

Oh, God, what had he done?

Inej: Are you *jealous* of Matthias?

Uggghh, he was going to be sick.

Kaz: Fuck no

Kaz: It was just a hypothetical

Kaz: It was an exaggeration

Kaz: I could do the same thing with any one of our friends

Kaz: And we all know the abs are photoshopped anyway

Inej: OMG

Kaz: What now

Inej: You called Matthias our friend

Kaz wanted to stab himself in the brain.

Inej: I’m gonna tell him

Kaz: Don’t you fucking dare

Inej: I already did

Kaz: What? How? How are you that fast?

Inej: Still in the car

Kaz: ????

There was no reason for that – the dorms were hardly a 10-minute drive. Now Kaz’s brain was assaulting him with a thousand reasons things his girlfriend could still be doing in a car (A nice car! With working air conditioning!) with a personal trainer/amateur Instagram model, and none of them were pleasant or welcome thoughts. The phone buzzed again.

Inej: I asked him to bring me back to you. :)

At that, Kaz straightened the recliner, rising to his feet as fast as his stiff leg would allow.

Kaz: You did? And he did? Why?

He was limping toward the front door.

Inej: Because he’s not terrible, Kaz. And because I guess I missed your car after all ;)

Jesper and Kaz’s apartment was the third floor of a wonky old Victorian home that had once been something grand and only recently had been split into three different abodes – which was definitely the worst decision the two of them had made as roommates. Kaz was leaning hard against the railing as he took to the steps when the front door of the building banged shut below. And then there on the landing below was Inej, wearing a sheepish smile in the yellow, buzzing fluorescence of the hall light. She was holding her phone in one hand, her tan leather purse slung across her slim body.

“I thought you looked like you could use a hug,” she said, as she pocketed her phone.

Kaz took the last two stairs carefully, coming to stand in front of her. She smelled like vanilla and coconut oil – like something he wanted to wake up to every morning.

“You came all the way back for a hug,” he wanted to clarify. His hands – he should do something with his hands. What would Matthias do with his hands?

No. What do I want to do with my hands?

So, he looped a couple fingers through her belt loops. Tugged her a little closer. And she smiled.

“Technically,” she said, “Matthias came all the way back so I could bring you some samples.” She patted her purse, which did look a little bulkier. “They were in his car the whole time.”

“Mmmm.” He pretended to look tantalized. “Hot car samples. Delicious.”

Inej was twisting her fingers in the t-shirt fabric at the crest of his hips. Tugging him a little closer, too. God, it was so good. She’d been so right. He had wanted a hug.

“I know that’s how I want my protein powder,” she teased. “Piping hot, right out of the oven.”

“Just how Ma used to make it,” Kaz added, with a good bit of feigned nostalgia. Inej blurted out a laugh, tipping forward until her forehead bumped his sternum.

At that first brush, it was like his hands knew what to do from there. They slipped around her waist while her hands slid around his. And she pressed her cheek against his chest while he held her close.

“You are not insufficient,” Inej said against him.

“I would really like to pretend that never happened,” he said with a sigh, resting his chin on top of her head.

“Too late,” she hummed, happily, and gave him a light squeeze. He smiled against her hair.

“You know I wouldn’t want you to be like Matthias, right?” she asked.

“You shouldn’t even want Matthias to be like Matthias,” Kaz grumbled.

“Hey,” and Inej pulled back to look up at him with her big, soft brown eyes. “I mean it. I just want you to be you. I don’t want all the handsy stuff. That’s what Nina likes. I just like you.”

Kaz carefully pushed back a few strands of her hair from her forehead.

“Not even a little handsy stuff?” he checked, which made Inej give her coy little smirk, his very favorite.

“Maybe a little handsy stuff,” she said.

If there were ever going to be a time to kiss her, it would be now. But when he thought it, Kaz felt his heart make an enormous leap into his throat, seizing in panic. If he touched her mouth with his, if he closed his eyes and felt her face so close to his, would he just end up floundering in The Very Sad Thing again? What if it happened while he was kissing her? Would every kiss after that be tainted? Could he risk it – could he ever?

So, he didn’t move to meet her lips. He let his hands fall to the small of her back, though, and kept her close for another moment. Like a sample of physical affection, and she seemed okay with that. He would will himself to believe it was not insufficient.

“Drive me home?” she asked after a moment, with a kind of sweet, eager anticipation that made Kaz believe in magic. He nodded, of course.

“I’ll go up and get my keys,” he said. “And you throw away those samples.”

Inej laughed, following him up.

“Deal,” she said.

-----------------------------------

Tagging: @annejulianneh111, @loveyatopluto, @ireallyshouldsleeprn, @whosanxiety, @raging-bisexual-alert,

[hale-13]

Slipping Through the Cracks

By Hale13

For the Summer of Whump Day 5 - Broken

Just when his life was finally leveling out Parker luck struck again. Peter has had four opportunities with parents and has lost all of them. The way he sees it, this is the least of what he deserves.

Post-Homecoming - Tony didn’t meet with Peter immediately to offer him a place on the Avengers.

Words: 3856, Chapters: 1/1 (Complete), Language: English

Fandoms: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)

Rating: Gen-Teen

Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark

Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Happy Hogan, Ned Leeds

TW: Depression, Dissociation, a single line of Suicidal Ideation, Referenced Child Abuse

Read on AO3 or below the line break.

Peter was silent as he exited Midtown with Ned keeping a quiet pace with him. Seven months ago they would be just as excited as their classmates for the weekend, for the plans that they surely would have made to build Legos or marathon movies or even to just study together. Ned would have been ecstatic to set up in Peter’s bedroom as his ‘guy in the chair’ while Peter did a quick patrol or two. If they were at Peter’s instead of Ned’s, May would attempt some new dish that would, inevitably, be awful and they would order pizza from their favorite place for dinner.

Now Peter never saw any of his limited friend group outside of school. He didn’t build Legos or watch movies or eat take-out pizza and he certainly wasn’t Spider-Man anymore – he had given that up after the Homecoming disaster when he had destroyed Mr. Stark’s plane.

It had been just over six months since he had found May dead in their kitchen and Peter didn’t really do anything at all anymore.

The ER doctors told Peter that she had an undiagnosed aneurysm that had finally burst – there was no way for anyone to know. She went quickly. She felt no pain. There was nothing that Peter could have done even if he was there when it happened.

The reassurances meant nothing really – Peter was numb. May was his last living family member, he had no one else and nowhere to turn. He can vaguely remember telling the social worker that was with him when they told him the news about May that he was alone now. He can remember being taken forcibly from the hospital before he was ready to go, wanting to kick and scream and drag his heels but too shocked to do so. And then everything was a blur.

Somewhere in his mind he knew that he had been allowed to pack up everything important from their apartment to go into storage until he was eighteen besides the bag of essentials he had for himself. He knew that everything else was donated or sold to pay off their remaining debt and the medical bills he had incurred by calling for help when he found May on the kitchen floor. He knew that the social worker told him that, even after selling everything, they couldn’t afford a funeral. He has a business card in his wallet with the number of the crematorium that was holding May’s ashes until he was old enough to retrieve them and, hopefully, give her a proper burial in their family plot next to Ben.

He spent the two weeks after in a group home, mute and dissociating with seven other boys in similar situations. He didn’t go to school, but he remembers the constant stream of unanswered texts and calls from Ned and MJ before his phone plan was discontinued then his phone became a dead relic in his bag. There were a lot of discussions about school that Peter didn’t take part in but, thanks to his full scholarship, he was able to continue at Midtown at least until the end of the year.

And then he was placed with his foster parents.

The Fishers seemed to be pleasant people when Peter first met them; they didn’t force him to speak, they had extensive fostering experience with teenagers and were willing to pay for his subway pass so he could get to and from his school even though there was a decent public school in walking distance. It didn’t take long, however, for their true colors to show.

Now, though, Peter knew the rules. He was always home by his curfew of four on school days and he never went out on the weekends. His grades were perfect. He kept his undecorated room spotless. He cooked supper every evening and breakfast and dinner on the weekends. He kept the house presentable. He stayed out of the Fishers way. Mostly he drifted. His days slid together to the point he had difficultly remembering entire weeks passing him by but it was fine.

He was fine.

“I’ll see you Monday,” Ned muttered as he split off to get in his mom’s car, not acknowledging the pathetic little wave Peter offered in return. A coiling feeling settled in his gut and Perter felt guilt rise up to swirl in his throat. Ned was his best friend and he was treating him like shit. With Peter basically unresponsive, bullies had taken to picking on Ned instead… well except for Flash. Flash had been the only one to back off and stand up for both of them – it helped but didn’t fix everything.

“Better if he leaves you now,” a little voice in his head whispered. “It’s better to be alone.” And maybe at one point he would have fought against that mindset but now he couldn’t help but agree. Peter destroyed everything he touched and everyone around him was doomed for misery. Better for Ned to get out while he could.

Lethargically, Peter began across the empty football field toward the subway entrance – his trip home was always a little tight and he couldn’t afford to miss this train.

“Peter!” A harried voice shouted as his shoulder was grabbed and he was roughly turned around to face a red-faced and irritated Happy Hogan. Peter’s mind blanked for a moment in total shock at seeing the man again after so long. “Didn’t you hear me calling for you?”

“Sorry Mr. Hogan,” Peter mumbled, not making eye contact. He felt the phantom sting from the slap he had gotten for that when he first moved into foster care burning his bare cheek.

“The Boss has been calling you, he wants to chat. You screening our calls now?” Happy asked, accusatory as his eyes raked down Peter’s form. Peter felt a shiver crawl up his spine and kept his sight locked on Happy’s chin, trying to remain as relaxed as possible. It was important to not draw any unwanted attention to himself.

“No sir,” he answered, voice a little rough and quiet with disuse. “I don’t have a phone anymore.” Happy huffed and narrowed his eyes at Peter before steering him to the expensive Audi parked in front of the school.

“No matter, he wants to talk to you in person anyway. Hop in and I’ll take you to the Tower.” Peter gulped and fought the urge to dig his heels in – it wouldn’t be polite.

“I have a curfew of four,” he protested weakly as Happy pulled open the door for him and motioned for him to climb in. Peter hesitated but relented when Happy gave him a little shrug.

“I’m sure May will understand and Tony can always give her a call to clear anything up.” And with that Peter was gone. No one had said her name since she died and the thought… the very implication that he could still be living with his aunt, happy and carefree, was insane. His mind floated away and he felt like he was watching himself as a specter. He saw his body relax but his eyes were distant, cloudy. Happy, for the first time that Peter could remember, didn’t raise the partition between the front and rear seats and, instead, watched Peter in the rear view mirror.

The drive to the Tower took over thirty minutes with traffic and Peter would be panicking about how late he was going to be if he had any capacity to feel at all. Instead, he let his mind wander as the skyscrapers of Manhattan blurred into a grey mosaic outside the window, fat raindrops sporadically hitting the window as a drizzle started. “We’re here,” Happy told him as he parked the car in the underground garage that was reserved for Mr. Stark and other high level staff of the Tower. Peter popped his door open and followed the man to the private elevator that he assumed would take them to Mr. Stark’s office.

“Hello Happy. Hello Peter,” the disembodied voice of Mr. Stark’s AI, FRIDAY, said as the doors closed and the elevator began to move. “Boss is awaiting your arrival in his workshop.”

“Thanks FRIDAY,” Happy said, texting intently on his phone. Peter just remained silent as the elevator began to slow before stopping completely, the doors trundling open soundlessly. Happy nudged Peter out but remained inside the car as the doors closed, leaving Peter alone in the sleek room.

Tony was seated in front of a large hologram of his armor, code scrolling past on his monitor as he made adjustments. “Mr. Parker,” he said as Peter edged closer to him, not looking up from his work. “You’re a hard man to get in contact with.”

Though Tony sounded more forthright than angry, Peter still had to fight the cringe in his shoulders as he came to a stop about ten feet away from the work bench – out of reach and with enough time to prepare if the man were to make any sudden moves. “Sorry,” he murmured, keeping his eyes low and doing his best to keep his shoulders from curling in – the last thing he needed to do was show any weakness.

“No need for apologies,” Tony said, light, as he fiddled with a holo mechanism in the right repulser. “Just a statement of fact. According to the news Spider-Man has also been just as difficult to find.”

Peter just hummed in response, choosing not to comment on his previous alter-ego. He didn’t much feel like a hero these days.

“A man of few words,” Tony commented, shutting down the programs in front of him and turning to face Peter fully. “Are you the same kid who was talking my ear off in Germany a year ago?”

“Yes sir,” Peter said, keeping his eyes focused on Tony’s chin. He could feel his mind slipping as his heart rate sped up and he struggled to keep present – it was getting harder and harder to stay in the moment the more he allowed himself to get lost in his head. He occasionally dreamed that one day it might be permanent; one of the few good dreams he had.

“Sir?” Tony parroted, his eyebrows raising and a flash of guilt washing over his features quickly before disappearing. “Look kid, I think I owe you an apology. Actually, I know I owe you an apology. I didn’t communicate with you about the whole alien weapons take-down thing. I underestimated you and treated you like a side-kick and ignored you and then I left you alone and without any protection and you saved my bacon anyway.”

“I deserved it,” Peter said matter-of-factly. “I was in over my head and I disobeyed. The punishment fit the crime.”

“No it didn’t,” Tony told him bluntly but firmly, looking surprised but resolute. “Maybe we both share some fault in the situation but I’m the adult and the one with experience and I didn’t do anything to teach you or help you and for that I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Peter assured him, allowing himself to tap his index finger against his thigh once to let out his stress. Mr. Fisher didn’t like his constant fidgeting and Peter knew that it was pretty annoying so he had done his best to learn how to stand as still as possible to not incur any extra punishments – the index finger tap he was able to normally get away with.

Mr. Stark’s eyes were narrowed as he surveyed Peter. “I wanted to offer you a real spot as my intern. You could spend a few days a week in the shop working on tech and I made you a new and improved suit for the other part of your ‘internship’. I promise that you’ll always have the support you need to be New York’s Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man. You’re the future of the Avengers, kid, its pretty clear to me now. Your spot on the team is there whenever you want to take it.”

For the briefest of moments, Peter was overwhelmed with excitement and incredulity. Ever since Tony had announced he was Iron Man to the world, Peter had wanted nothing more than to be a superhero as well, to be an Avenger. If Tony had offered him a spot on the team after Germany, Peter would have taken it in an instant. Now…

“Thank you Mr. Stark,” Peter said, voice still a little broken and hoarse from how little he spoke these days. “But I can’t.”

“Oh you don’t have to join now,” the man assured, misunderstanding. “You’ll need some training first but Rhodey and Vision are always down to join us at the compound for some group work. You have a lot of potential.”

“Thanks but that’s not what I meant,” Peter clarified. “I have to decline all of it but I appreciate the offer.”

“Oh,” Tony looked a little crestfallen, a dark expression of acceptance on his defined features. “I understand. Broken trust and all that. Sure.”

“It’s not that,” Peter reassured quickly. “I don’t hold anything against you – I was the one who messed up. It’s just I have a four o’clock curfew every day so I can’t do the internship.”

“That’s easily remedied!” Mr. Stark said, his eyes lifting with a smile and looking relieved. “I’ll just give Aunt Hottie a call and work things out and we’ll have you in the lab and out swinging through the streets in no time!”

Peter’s ears fuzzed out again, a sharp high-pitched note cutting off Tony’s excited words as a feeling of immense emotion flooded through Peter before he could tamp it down. His breathing felt a little ragged in his chest and he squeezed his eyes shut for just a moment to gather himself. “My aunt is dead,” Peter gritted out, interrupting Tony and rendering him speechless. “She died six months ago. My foster… the people fostering me are a little more strict.”

“Oh,” Tony said, face blank and an awkward silence filling the space. Peter gripped his worn down backpack straps and backed toward the elevator.

“Thanks for the offer,” Peter said earnestly. “It really is an honor I just…” he trailed off. “Thanks. For everything.”

And with that, he entered the elevator and pushed the button for the lobby, the doors shutting on Tony’s pitying expression before the man could say anything much to Peter’s relief. The metro card the Fishers had gotten him only had a set amount of money on it every month so Peter would be hoofing it back to their house from the Tower. His cracked watch face told him that it was already close to four-thirty and his stomach bubbled with anxiety. At this rate he wouldn’t be back in time to have dinner on the table at five-thirty.

Resigned to his punishments, Peter left the building through the shining lobby and pointed himself toward Queens, moving as fast as he could.

——————-

“You’re late,” Mr. Fishers’s tone was short and monotonous from where he was seated on the couch. The house was otherwise quiet which meant Mrs. Fisher was out that evening.

“I’m sorry sir,” Peter whispered looking at the floor and making no excuses. He had learned the hard way that trying to justify his poor behavior only made things worse for him in the long run.

“Go to your room,” Mr. Fisher told him making Peter cringe. “I’ll join you in a moment.”

Later, when Peter was lying on the bed with silent tears still leaking from his eyes and his back and ribs stinging in pain, he thought about Mr. Stark’s offer with selfish desire. In another universe, in another life, he would have been elated but now he only felt desolation - life always did like to dangle things in front of him he couldn’t have.

Setting his alarm for five-thirty so he wouldn’t oversleep, Peter let his consciousness slip away into the ether, mind going blissfully empty and blank.

——————-

Monday came both faster and slower than Peter wanted. His body still ached from his well-deserved punishment and he was exhausted from the extra chores and minimal food he had been offered as a result of his actions. School passed in a lonely blur for him as he drifted from class to class, hiding away in the deserted music room during lunch to avoid Ned and MJ. They didn’t ask as many questions anymore but Peter didn’t want to put himself in a situation where he would have to lie to his friends again.

When the final bell of the day rang, Peter chose to not stop by his locker where he may be ambushed and, instead, left the school, headed directly for the subway. He had nearly made it when a body physically blocked him from the stairs.

“Howdy Pete,” Mr. Stark said, peering over his glasses to look at Peter and Peter did his best to school his expression into indifference. He couldn’t be late again. He couldn’t take another punishment, he was just so tired all he wanted to do was sleep. Maybe forever. “Where are you headed?”

“Back to my fosters,” Peter told him, trying to skirt around. “I have a four o’clock curfew.”

“I remember you saying something about that,” Mr. Stark agreed with a nod. “Tell you what – let me give you a ride home. You’ll get home well before your curfew and I can talk to your foster parents about the internship. Who can say no to Tony Stark right?”

“NO!” Peter said loudly before smacking a palm over his mouth. He could feel the blood draining from his face as his body tensed, preparing for the correction he knew was coming. Mr. Stark’s brow was furrowed now and his eyes behind his blue glasses had a twinkle of understanding in them.

“Peter,” he began, reaching a hand out with the intention of lying his hand on Peter’s shoulder but he never got that far. Seeing the hand coming towards him and already being on high alert after his exclamation, Peter violently flinched away, only barely able to catch himself from falling over due to his enhanced reflexes, and squeezed his eyes shut tight. “Oh Peter,” Tony said, a desolate understanding in his voice.

Peter cracked his eyes open to see Mr. Stark with both hands raised in the universal ‘backing off’ signal, a soft look on his face. “Sorry sir,” Peter croaked out. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to. It’s fine.”

“Do you have something you need to tell me kiddo?” Tony’s voice was soft and gentle and Peter felt his eyes well up with tears he hastily blinked away as he shook his head quickly. “It’s okay buddy. You can tell me.”

“I’m fine. I’m okay. It’s fine.” Tony looked even more crestfallen at Peter’s answer and tapped the side of his glasses to activate FRIDAY.

“Can you I’ve me a scan FRI?” He asked and Peter flinched again knowing there was no way to hide the broken and healing bones and skin that he had been doing his best to conceal. Tony’s face was tight as he stared at Peter and Peter felt all of the blood left in his face drain away.

“I deserved it,” Peter told him desperately. “I disobeyed, it was my fault.” Mr. Stark just looked even more beaten at his words and Peter felt his breathing picking up.

“It’s not,” Tony said, voice still unbelievably soft but firm. “It’s not your fault and you didn’t deserve it. You’re a great kid Pete.” Peter shook his head no and couldn’t stop a couple tears from leaking out before furiously wiping them away. “I promise that it wasn’t your fault Underoos. Will you let me help you?”

“You can’t,” Peter said, feeling hollow. “Everyone… everyone close to me dies. I’m cursed and I can’t do that to you too Mr. Stark.”

“Can I hug you?” Tony asked suddenly, arms twitching with need. After a seconds hesitation, Peter nodded and was hastily folded into the man’s arms; one arm tight around his shoulders and the other snaking up into his hair to pull through the too long strands carefully. Peter felt more tears leak out and, suddenly, he couldn’t hold it in any longer, throwing his own arms around Tony to return the hug and letting out a gut-wrenching sob into the man’s shoulder. Tony just shushed him and let him take as much comfort as he could. “You’re not cursed and none of this is your fault. I get the feeling no one has told you that yet and you need to hear it.”

Peter sobbed loudly again, curling in tighter. He had always thrived on positive affirmation and had grown up in a family where hugs and shoulder pats and forehead kisses were the norm. To go so long without… he had forgotten how nice it was to just be held and cared for. “Thank you,” Peter said, his voice clogged with emotion. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me,” Tony said firmly. “Anyone decent would do the same thing and it’s the least of what you deserve.”

Peter squeezed him one more time and took a deep breath before pulling away. “Thank you,” he reiterated, fighting to make eye contact so he could show just how sincere he was. “But I need to get back before four and I already missed my train. I can’t be late.” Tony, who still had one hand resting on Peter’s shoulder, gripped him tightly to prevent him from escaping up the stairs to the train.

“You aren’t going back,” he said firmly, ducking his head and forcing Peter to make eye contact. “You’re coming with me back to the Tower where I’m going to call CPS and my lawyers. You’re never going back there again.”

“I can’t ask you to do that,” Peter insisted. “It’s really not that bad if I’m home on time and do my chores and stay in my room. And its only two more years until I’m eighteen and then I can get a job and an apartment.”

“Pete,” Tony said, eyes shining as he wrapped an arm around Peter’s shoulders and started leading him away from the subway and toward the Audi that was parked in the pickup lane; Peter could see the outline of Happy’s silhouette in the driver’s seat. “You deserve better. You deserve somewhere safe and you deserve to have someone care about you. I know you don’t believe it now and that’s okay – I’m just going to keep telling you until you do.”

Peter sniffed back another onslaught of tears and allowed himself to be pulled away. “Thank you Mr. Stark,” he said, voice clogged with emotion.

“It’s Tony kiddo,” the man told him with another squeeze that warmed Peter to the core. “And you don’t need to thank me for this okay?”

“Okay,” Peter agreed, fully aware and present and wanting to be for the first time in a long time. Things were never going to be the same, but maybe, just maybe, they would get better.

[monaownsmyass]

Influence Her

Requested fic by anon. (If you have any fic ideas or requests you'd like me to write, you can leave me an ask!)

Book: Queen B

Pairing: Veronica Lombardi x MC (Bea Hughes)

Genre: Fluff

Rating: PG13, strong words and suggestive lines/scenes

Word Count: 5,125 (V stans feasting with this one)

A/N: MC doesn’t really like Veronica’s social media presence but can real-life Veronica change her mind when they meet? (Alternating POVs) Y’all wanted a Poppy x MC enemies-to-lovers? Nahhh Veronica x MC would’ve been much better imo 😏 I also gave her some personality since PB is shit with character development especially with their side characters. 

Tag list: @ineedskyecrandall @kamilahsayeet2063 @avalawrencefl @lovekamilahsayeed @thequeenkamilahsayeed @heygmicheelle @djtjsmith14 @jjlover01 @soft-for-drake @dopeyouth @alexroyard @satrinadia @toalltheboysididntlove @mypegasifly (lmk if anyone would like to be included or removed in my next fics and if you only want to be tagged for certain pairings.)

Part 2 is here!

I couldn't escape it.

It was all Veronica this! Veronica that! Oh, Veronicats! Oh, @vivilomborghini! And I've had it!

She was everywhere and I couldn't escape it. Obviously, she was all over my socials. On Pictagram, The T, but ever since I joined Belvoire, I couldn't even walk across the damn campus without seeing her.

I heard about Veronica long before I started attending Belvoire and I never liked her even since then. Something about her always rubbed me the wrong way.

When I found out she was also a student here on my first day, I was ready to head out. I did have other offers from different universities but Zoey convinced me that it wasn't gonna be so bad, so I took her word for it and stayed.

It was hard enough trying to avoid her on social media, which, trust me, was a sport all on it's own, but now I had to inevitably see her face every single day. I had no idea why, but I felt like she was wherever I went. At the library, at class, at the courtyard, it didn't matter, she was there.

She was like a constant nightmare haunting me. Okay, maybe a gorgeous, very attractive nightmare, but a nightmare nonetheless.

"I don't get why you hate her so much, babe," Zoey said at she followed my irritated glare aimed at Veronica who was vlogging not too far away. "She's not that bad."

"I don't hate Veronica Lombardi, but she hasn't given me any reason to like her either," I clarified.

"Why not?"

I scoffed. "Just look at her! Look how fake she is. She's basically lying to her fans. Her online personality is so artificially bright and happy it makes me wanna barf."

"Bea, that's basically almost every social media influencer ever."

"Maybe, but there's just something about her that doesn't sit right with me. How did she even get that many followers? I don't get what people see in her. Like sure, she's easy on the eyes and all but there's literally nothing else going for her."

Zoey raised a brow. "I'm surprised you admitted she's attractive.."

"I just don't like her, that doesn't mean I'm blind, Zo. I can appreciate a pretty face even if it annoys the shit out of me."

Zoey let out a laugh and gave me a pat on the cheek before standing up from the picnic table we were sitting at. "I'm sure V would be ecstatic to hear you call her pretty."

The space between my brows creased. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, babe, it's so obvious our favourite social media star has a crush on you."

"What makes you say that?" My nose scrunched up in disgust but something in my stomach stirred.

"You know, the looks, the movements," she replied, waving her hand around. "I'd love to explain more, but I'm gonna be late for class." She gathered her things and started walking away.

"Fine, fine," I sighed.

"And babe?"

"Yeah?"

"Dreamgirl is headed your way."

~*~*~

From the moment my eyes set on Bea Hughes, I knew there was something different about her.

Yes, the way she dressed, her accent, how she stood up to Poppy, it definitely made her stand out in Belvoire but there was just something else about her that caught my attention.

Maybe it was the way she carried herself, or her vibe. Maybe it was just how hot she was, I wasn't sure.

There was just a magnetic pull attracting me to her and I may not have known why, but I was determined to get to know her better.

I remembered the first time I caught sight of her. There was a crowd in the courtyard surrounding her and Poppy. She straight up roasted Poppy with no remorse and when she was done, our eyes locked. I could feel the tension between us. Was it sexual? Was it rivalry? Jealousy? Hatred? Maybe it was in potential alliance.

Whatever it was, I felt a connection.

Her smouldering gaze held onto my curious one and we held eye contact for a good minute before I raised a brow. She suddenly seemed to realise where she was and rolled her eyes, looking away.

I didn't know what that eye roll meant but that wasn't gonna stop me from finding out more about this interesting woman.

While I was vlogging, my eyes drifted to the girl that had me thinking about her ever since she stepped onto campus. She was eyeing me in annoyance. I've had people look at me like that but something behind her glare told me that wasn't all. I saw my chance. I smirked, ended the vlog and started walking up to her.

I didn't know what her problem with me was but I was gonna find out.

She was intriguing. 

And I, Veronica Lombardi, was always up for a challenge.

~*~*~

I whipped my head around to see Veronica headed my way. I didn't like her but the way she strutted towards me made me breathless. The power in her strides almost made me realise why she was as popular as she was. Almost.

Still, I groaned and reached an arm out to Zoey.

"Zo! Don't leave me!"

"Sorry babe," she laughed. "You're on your own. Tell me how it goes, though!"

My arm flopped onto the table and my head followed.

"Hey," I heard a smooth, low voice call out not long after.

I knew who it was from but it still shocked me. It was such a vast difference from the bubbly, higher-pitched tone I had associated with her.

I raised my head to look at her.

"Yes?"

"This seat taken?"

"Does it matter?" I sighed. "Looks like you're gonna sit anyway."

She chuckled and crossed her arms. "That wasn't a yes so I can only assume you want me too."

I was about to deny it but something stopped me. I couldn't get the words out in time and she sat across me.

Well, this would be interesting.

"What do you want, Veronica?"

"No need to be so hostile," she raised her hands up. "I just came by 'cuz I saw you ogling at me."

My jaw dropped. "I was not ogling at you!" I said defensively.

She laughed again at my apprehension. "Sure you weren't."

"I wasn't!"

"Anyway," she said, ignoring my protest. God, she was infuriating. "I thought it was about time we finally meet and get to know each other."

I just looked at her as she stretched a hand out.

"Hi, I'm Veronica Lombardi," she said with a dazzling smile.

I had no intention of shaking her hand but I didn't wanna be mean especially since she was being nice. Also, there was something so compelling about that smile...

I lightly held her hand but the slight contact sent a jolt up my arm.

What was happening?

Brushing it off, I gave it a single shake. "Bea."

"Nice to officially meet you, Bea."

The way she spoke my name was unlike the way others said it. It sounded like a praise on her lips.

"As much as I'd love to hang around and make you fall in love with me," she stated and I was about to say something to contradict it but decided against it. Not like it would've helped. "I gotta go. Perhaps we could continue this conversation later? Elsewhere?"

I glared at her in disbelief. "Are you seriously asking me out on a date right now?"

"Oh, it's a date, huh?" she said playfully.

"What? I- you- NO!" I flustered.

"Alright then, it's a date," she laughed and I could feel myself getting red in the face. Was it from being infuriated or from blushing? I couldn't tell.

"Why would I go out with you?"

"Look, I know you don't like me that much, but why not give me a chance, hm?" The right corner of her lips quirked up ever so slightly as she gave me a lazy grin, so unlike the awfully overexaggerated fake cheery smile I was accustomed to seeing. It was relaxed and laidback and I'd be lying if I said I didn't find it absolutely sexy.

"How do I know it's not just for a vlog or some prank video."

"I swear it's not," she quickly assured. "If you don't believe me, I'll let you keep my phone for the entire time. I promise. I just want to get to know you."

She gazed into my eyes and I could tell she was telling the truth.

"Alright..."

"It that a yes?"

"It's not a yes..." I paused before adding. "But it not a no either."

I saw her eyes light up and I thought it was pretty cute. I mean, it was good to know she wasn't devoid of human emotion.

"I'll tell you what," she said and reached into her bag for a pen and paper and starting writing. "You let me know once you make up your mind."

She slid the paper over to me and on it was her number. She signed off as 'V, xoxo'.

Before standing up, she took my hand that was resting on the table between us in hers and paused for a moment, looking me in the eyes and making sure I wouldn't flinch away.

Once she was certain I wouldn't pull back, she brought my hand up to her lips and placed a gentle kiss on it. The way her soft lips grazed my hand made my heart flutter.

She let it go and walked away, looking over her shoulder to wink at me.

"Until then, beautiful."

I felt my whole face burn as I watched her walk away.

And this time, it was definitely from blushing.

~*~*~

"I'm telling you, Zo! How many times do I have to repeat myself? It's not a date!"

"Didn't you say she said it was a date?"

"Well, technically I made the mistake of assuming it was a date then she got the wrong idea and called it a date."

"So you wanted it to be a date?"

I was ready to pull my hair out in frustration. "No!"

Zoey giggled at me. "You are going though, right?"

"Why should I? I have no reason too."

"The Veronica Lombardi asked you out on a date and you're gonna say no to that?" She looked at me like I was stupid.

"It's not a date!"

"Just go for it. What do you have to lose?"

"My time, patience and sanity."

She glanced at me skeptically. "I don't think you actually believe that. I think you just don't want to admit you wanna spend time with Veronica."

That made me quiet. Was the idea of going out with Veronica actually repulsive or did I just not want to acknowledge it?

"Fine, I'll go for the stupid thing."

Zoey first pumped and cheered. "I can't wait to see you in her next vlog!"

"Oh, she said she wasn't gonna vlog."

She blinked at me. "What?"

"She said she would let me keep her phone for the rest of our time together as proof when I asked her if it she was only asking me out for a video."

"Bea, do you not realise what this means?"

I just looked at Zoey, puzzled.

"Veronica, Queen of Social Media, who vlogs and livestreams everything, said she would give you her phone. That's where all her power is! She's basically giving it up to you! I've heard if anyone so much as touches her phone, there'll be hell to pay."

Involuntarily, I felt myself start to smile. "Really?"

"God, you look like a kid in a candy store. You sooooo like her."

I shoved her and tried but failed miserably to hide my ecstatic expression. "Shut up! I do not!"

Zoey collapsed into a fit of giggles. "Deny it all you want, but you said you'd go out with her and I don't see you texting her yet."

I rolled my eyes at my best friend but moved to grab my phone to shoot Veronica a quick text to tell her my answer was yes.

~*~*~

When I received her confirmation yesterday, I felt the excitement bubbling in me. From the how she was blushing and the way she looked at me when I left, I was almost certain she would agree but getting a straight answer from her was the best news I've had all week.

I looked at the mirror at the outfit I was wearing. Hmm, should I change or would this suffice? No, I didn't want it to just suffice, I wanted it to impress.

I went through my closet, flinging clothes everywhere, trying to find something that would definitely catch her eye when I heard someone shout, "V!!!"

I rolled my eyes as Poppy barged in with Chloe by her side.

"What the hell are you doing and why is your room messier than a pig sty?! You were suppose to meet me an hour ago!"

I simply shrugged at her. "I'm busy."

"Busy with what? Putting on a fashion show for the fly on your wall?! Get ready, we're going out."

"Like I said, Pops," I took a stride in her direction and booped her nose, no doubt making her madder than she already was. "I'm busy."

"With what?" Chloe asked curiously since Poppy looked like she was gonna pop her lid off.

"I have a date with Hughes," I hummed.

"YOU'RE DITCHING ME FOR THAT NEWBIE, FARMSVILLE?!" Poppy screamed angrily.

I ignored Poppy and turned to Chloe. "Help me pick out something?"

"I'd love to!" she squealed which made Poppy stomp her feet in frustration.

"Ugh! Fine! Don't come crawling back to me when your social ranking takes a plunge after being seen with Farmsville!"

"You're delusional, Pops, maybe you should rest," I laughed as she stormed off, leaving Chloe to help me find the perfect outfit.

I couldn't wait to see Bea again.

~*~*~

There was a knock on the front door and Zoey jumped in excitement.

"You're looking forward to it more than I am."

"Can't I just be happy for my best friend-slash-roommate?" She pushes me towards the door. "Now go get your girl!"

"She is not my girl!" But my mind started racing at the possibility.

I shook the thought away and opened the door to be greeted with the sight of Veronica holding a single rose. I hate to admit it, but my breath hitched as I took her in.

My eyes ran up and down her body, soaking in every single feature my eyes landed on. Her sleeveless shirt was loose against her toned body but showed off her biceps nicely compared to her usual long-sleeved sweater.

My gaze landed on her chest and travelled down to her hips which only lead to her long, muscular legs covered by her pants. I forced my eyes back up to her attractive face only to see a stupid cocky smirk playing on her lips.

It was infuriating but fuck, she was hot.

I didn't even notice I was biting my lip until I heard her speak.

"Don't bite too hard, it might start bleeding before I get to kiss you," she said flirtatiously with that calm voice of hers but I could see her own eyes roaming my body.

I rolled my eyes but I wasn't as annoyed as I lead on. "Someone's confident."

"Very," she replied with a full smile this time and held out the rose in her hand. "For you."

"This isn't a date."

"It is!" Zoey called out from behind me.

"Zo!"

"It's true," she laughed. "Have fun on your date! V, you better treat her good!"

"The best," Veronica laughed with Zoey. "Don't worry!" She turned her attention back to me. "So, are you gonna accept my rose?"

The way she phrased it and said it made me melt. How could I say no?

Sighing in defeat, I took it from her and tucked it into my purse, the flower sticking out, on display for the world to know and strangely, I didn't mind.

We made our way away from the dorm and across the courtyard to her car. I saw people looking and whispering, wondering what the hell the newbie was doing with Belvoire's social media queen, the third ranked in The T.

I snickered and felt a little smug. It was great knowing someone with so much power was by my side. I felt kinda protected and safe 'cuz I knew no one would dare toss any snide remarks my way when I was with her.

I also thought it was really sweet that she didn't care that she was being seen with me. Not like I think anyone would dare say anything about her but I was still touched.

She opened the passenger side door for me and I raised her a brow at her. "I can open my own door, you know," I teased.

"O.M.G., I totally didn't know that," she replied sarcastically in a deadpan tone. "Lemme just do something nice for you."

"I guess I wouldn't mind being treated like a princess for the day," I muttered jokingly.

"Darling, I'll treat you like a queen," she replied coolly and suddenly, my whole body was on fire.

That immediately shut me up which made her chuckle.

We got into her car and she began driving. After a while, I spoke up.

"Where are we going?"

"You're warming up to me, huh?" She glance at me from the corner of her eyes and gave me another exasperating smirk.

"What?"

"You're starting a conversation with me. You like me now, don't you?" She reached out to poke me in the arm and I swatted her hand away even though I was trying my hardest to stifle a smile that was threatening to spread across my lips.

"God, you're annoying."

"Hey, I'm just stating facts."

Eventually, we pulled up to a small quaint café that didn't look like what I thought Veronica's speed was at all.

She opened the door for me again and this time, I didn't bother with a witty remark since I knew she would turn it on me anyway.

As we walked in, she greeted the barista behind the counter as if they've known each other for some time and it occurred to me then that I was getting to see the real Veronica. The thought that she actually was willing to share this private part of her life with me made me soft.

After ordering, she guided me to a table and pulled out a chair for me, motioning for me to sit. I looked around to take in the surrounding. There was barely anyone else in the café, only two other customers who were in their own worlds, reading. The place was small and cozy and... quiet. It wasn't like the high-energy, over-the-top, loud parties and events setting I was used to seeing her in. It was much more peaceful. Even the contemporary R&B and soul music they were playing that Veronica was humming to was much different than the pop songs she played in her vlogs that I've seen.

"Is this your little hideout?"

She offered me a small grin before staring at a picture on the wall. "Somewhat. No one expects to find me here so it's where I come if I just want some time to myself. No Poppy, no Belvoire, none of the Veronicats, just me." She leaned forward as her enrapturing eyes landed on mine and the sheer intensity of her gaze sucked all the air out of my lungs. "And now you."

I looked away, not being able to hold eye contact anymore and all of a sudden feeling very overwhelmed.

"It doesn't seem like you. I mean, I knew your online personality wasn't all real but this is..."

"Different?" she gave me a rueful smile. "I'm not my brand, Bea."

"Who are you, then?"

Her sad smile quickly changed into a simper. "That's why we're here, aren't we?"

"Fair enough." I leaned back in my chair. "Why don't you show your followers the real you? I'm sure they'll appreciate it." 'I do,' I thought subconsciously.

She let out a humourless laugh. "It's not that easy. Changing my entire image is already a hassle, but then I'd have to deal with that rumours and the haters and all that bullshit which is annoying. Then, I have to worry about my followers who'll either bash me or get bashed for still supporting me," she sighed, looking more tired than I've ever seen her. "It's just a lot."

Before I could reply, she pulled out her phone and slid it over to me across the table. "Like I promised, I'll let you keep it."

"V," I started and realised I called her by her nickname for the first time. I knew she noticed it to when I saw her brows lift up slightly. "You really don't have to."

She shook her head. "No, no, I want to. I want you to know I'm serious about this. I want you to know I'm being honest. Also, it's relaxing to know I don't have to worry about my online appearance since it's with you," she joked.

"Aren't you scared I'll log into your accounts? Maybe try and steal you phone?"

She looked at me with an amused smile. "I'm right here, I can see whatever you're doing. And what, you gonna run off with my phone in an unfamiliar area when I have a car?"

"Maybe I'll steal your car too."

She let out a full laugh that made my heart flip.

Woah?

"Darling, you can try," she spoke and leaned in closer, almost whispering the next part with a mischievous glint in her eyes. "But I think we both know who'll end up on top."

I caught the undertone in her statement and I felt my cheeks getting hot.

"You'd be surprised," I returned her energy and I saw her pupils dilate, the tension between us palpable.

We were interrupted by the barista from earlier. They served us our drinks and left, making me clear my throat and trying to shake out the image of Veronica and I in a.... compromising position.

I looked at her phone that was still in front of me and hesitantly slipped it into my purse.

"I have a question," I said.

"Mm?"

"Aren't you tired of pretending? To your followers?"

She crossed her arms on the table and my eyes immediately drifted down to see her arms flex as she did but I forced them back up to her face. 'Not the time!' I scolded myself in my head.

Her tiny grin told me she noticed. Damn, nothing slipped past this woman.

However, she looked over it and answered me. "It wasn't always pretend. That person was actually me once. That's what happens when you grow up in the public eye, I guess." She propped her chin on her hand. "I started doing all of this when I was young and it was only for fun. A kid just being a kid, you know? But then my content blew up and as I grew older, it was only natural for me to change, to discover who I really was. But the thing with people online is that they don't get that. They think we're a fraud or we went off the rails if we suddenly change things up."

I looked her in the eyes as she told me more about it.

"And before I knew it, I had an image to uphold. A brand to stick to. I was no longer that bubbly, excited kid from a decade ago but my audience didn't know that. I don't feel like I'm fake 'cuz that was who I am. But not anymore. And it might be tiring but it's worth it. I may be playing a character online but if that person inspires young girls and boys and is their role model, how could I take that away from them?"

Listening to her speak made me regret every awful thing I've said about her. A wave of sadness washed over me and as much as I wished I could reassure her and tell her it's not true, that everyone would support her, I knew that wasn't reality. 

So instead, I said, "Would you ever show who you really are?"

Her perfectly threaded brows creased as she pondered over my question. "Not anytime soon. But if it gets too much, maybe then I'll consider doing it. But until then," she looked down and then back up at me with an honest smile. "I'm happy just sharing the actual me with the people in my real life."

~*~*~

Opening up to Bea was the easiest thing in the world. Those warm eyes, that curios look, the way she hung onto every word I said, giving me her full attention, it was inevitable that I would spill my heart out to her.

And it looked like I had the same effect on her.

She told me more about her life back in the Midwest, her family, her thoughts, dreams and so much more that I didn't expect to get out of her on our first 'date'.

As she spoke, I studied her face and mannerisms, wanting to know every single detail about her. Her expressive eyebrows, her stunning eyes, her smooth skin and soft lips. The way she pronounced certain words and how her accent got stronger when she was angry or talking something she was passionate about. The way she would roll her eyes but her cheeks reddened when I teased her or said something flirty. How her nose scrunched when she giggled, the way her eyes crinkled when she smiled.

Fuck, that smile. I'd do anything she told me to if she smiled at me like that.

"Hey, I know I said I wouldn't use my phone today," I began and I saw her give me a worried look. I quickly continued so she didn't get the wrong idea. "But I really want to take a picture with you. Is that okay? I won't post it, I just wanna keep it."

I saw her disappointed look instantly turn to relief then shyness.

"You wanna take a photo with me?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "You look really pretty and I just want something to remember you by."

I wasn't sure if she would agree but then she reached into her purse and handed me my phone. Grinning broadly, I moved beside her and lifted my phone up.

"Is this okay?" I asked, moving an arm around her waist carefully, making sure she wasn't uncomfortable.

She simply nodded and when my hand touched her, I felt her shiver which only made made me smile wider.

The cups and plates piled on our table, customers walked in and out, the sky darkened, a hundred songs were played and the second hand on the wall clock travelled the same path thousands of times as we continued talking and yet, our conversation never died.

I had never connected with someone so fast and it surprised me just how easy it was for us to just talk.

It was getting pretty late and we decided it was time to leave. Before standing up, I jokingly asked, "Anything else before we leave?"

To my surprise, she replied, "Just one."

"Yeah?"

She smiled. "You're alright, Lombardi."

~*~*~

When we made it back to campus, V walked me back to my dorm. When I said she didn't have to, she still insisted which was really sweet of her.

"Plus I get to spend more time with you," she said teasingly while lightly bumping shoulders as we walked side-by-side and I felt myself smile.

We stopped outside my dorm room and admittedly, I had no idea how I was gonna say goodbye to her.

"Here we are," she announced.

"Yup."

She took a step towards me cautiously as if I would move back. I didn't.

I stared at her as my stomach filled with butterflies. Everything about her was painfully gorgeous and it made my heart ache. I knew she was attractive but now that I got to know her, to actually see her, it made it hard to believe she was a real person.

She was perfect.

One hand on my hip, she leaned forward and bent down, face inching closer to mine. I closed my eyes, here nearness making me light-headed and the smell of her perfume fogged my thoughts. My heart was hammering in my chest.

I expected her lips to meet mine. Instead, I felt it on my cheek but my skin still tingled from where her lips touched.

"Good night, beautiful," she whispered with a small smile and a longing look in her hazel eyes. "Hopefully you don't glare at me the next time you see me."

She stepped back but I instinctively reached out to hold onto her wrist, preventing her from moving any further. I shook my head. "No."

"No?" she looked at me, confused and I could sense the hurt in her voice.

"No," I repeated. "No, that's not enough."

I pulled her into me and crashed our lips together. The moment our lips touched, I swear I saw stars. She pushed me back until I was pressed up against the door with her body. She trailed a hand down my thigh and hiked my leg up to her hip, making me groan.

I sent a mental apology to Zoey if she was in and heard all this.

"God, I don't know what you hold over me," I muttered between kisses. "Yesterday I didn't like you and now you have me against my dorm door, making out with me."

She pulled back, breathing heavy and gave me one of those sexy, relaxed smile. "Well, I am an influencer."

Veronica grabbed onto my other leg and lifted me up. Arms wrapped around her neck and legs locked tight around her waist, she kissed me again.

"Ohh! V!"

I moaned as she bit my bottom lip. My whole body was burning with heat and everywhere she touched ignited me further. One hand moved to grip the side of my neck while the other rested on my ass.

"Are you in love with me yet?" She said into the kiss and pulled away again, looking at me proudly with a genuine smile on her face.

"Shut up," I grinned and tugged her head back so our lips could meet again. This time, in a slow, sweet kiss.

And you know what?

Veronica Lombardi wasn't so bad after all.

(More fics!)

[spontaneousmusicalnumber]

For some reason I decided to pick up 7 currently airing anime this season, so here’s my thoughts and ratings just as the season is nearing finale time:

Majo no Tabitabi: 4/10. This is the only one I dropped (after 8 episodes). You can get a better experience by muting Kino’s Journey and playing the audio from Little Witch Academia over it. Don’t bother.

The general concept is similar to Kino’s Journey: After a couple episodes of witch training, Elaina goes from country to isolated country experiencing the unique culture of each. Unlike Kino’s Journey, Elaina is a self-important busybody with enough magical power and social privelege that she barely ever faces an inconvenience, let alone a consequence or moral dilemma. There is no development for a character who believes she’s the most perfect person in the world, and nobody is powerful enough to threaten that worldview.

Every episode of Kino’s Journey leaves you wondering who, if anyone, was in the right in any situation. Every episode of Majo no Tabitabi says “Elaina was right, of course, because she’s right all the time”. The casual sexism, the single lesbian character portrayed as a clingy boundary-pushing annoyance, and the constant undertone of horniness don’t help either.

Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle: 7/10 Surprisingly fun!

I wasn’t planning on watching this on my own, but my friends were interested and I sat through it. Originally I thought it was repetitive and wished it were a short anime instead. Now ten episodes in, I’m enjoying it a lot more than I ever thought possible. It keeps a solid comedic strength, and adds just enough backbone to really let you care about everyone. I can really tell the same creative minds behind Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-Kun headed this project, and it’s the best sweet funny turn-your-brain-off show this season has to offer.

Yuukoku no Moriarty: 8/10 Cathartic, and a very well-done perspective flip

Usually a Sherlock show is about Sherlock, and hint at a sinister presence behind the shadows tying together threads that otherwise seem unrelated. This show doesn’t even show Sherlock until episode 6. Instead it shows how Moriarty, presented as a hero, is trying to topple the corrupt British empire by assassinating nobles one by one and letting their working-class victims get the final revenge.

It’s the reverse of a murder mystery: We’re shown an evil noble, and spend the episode setting up how to kill them and get away with it. The villains of the week are, admittedly, pretty ham-fisted. There’s a lot of yelling about how DARE these filthy commoners think their lives matter than MY NOBLE BLOOD, they are but livestock born to serve us, etc. The show doesn’t give you any reason not to want them dead, and seeing Moriarty arrange for these common folk to commit the perfect murder against their oppressors would have been enough brain candy to carry me through the season.

The introduction of Sherlock is quite interesting- because he’s not shown as the hero, he’s allowed to be a character you really don’t want to root for. He’s not evil by any means, and he has strong morals he won’t compromise, but he’s irresponsible and impulsive and has a big ego and is just kinda annoying. If he were our hero, the show would be almost as bad as BBC. But it keeps the central character intact while allowing us to root heartily for the supervillain.

Jujutsu Kaisen: 8/10 If everyone hasn’t convinced you yet I probably won’t

Judging it against other shonen series: I appreciate it setting up a power ceiling and difficult but reachable goals for the characters, I like the main trio, and the power system is somewhat like HxH’s nen: solid but has a lot of potential for fun twists and combinations. I wish it treated its female characters a little better, but nothing stands out as egregious. The animation and soundtrack are superb. Give it a go.

Magatsu Wahrheit: Zuerst: 9/10 Holy shit??? How is this based off a mobile game??? Why isn’t anyone else talking about it???

Realistic fantasy done exceedingly well. While it’s set in a world with a generic Anime Fantasy vibe (mixed with some 1930′s tech and fashion), it’s filled with people. Characters are realistic yet diverse and recognizable, government power is complex and messy and everyone’s got their own motives, fights between swords and pistols and magic staffs are balanced and feel like everyone has equal weight to throw around.

It’s dark enough to hurt, but not gratuitous enough to numb and keeps you hopeful that they could succeed. Enough people die that you really wonder if people will make it through the danger, but they’re not killed so thoughtlessly that you avoid getting attached. You hate the villains, but they’re realistic: not flat caricatures of a person. They throw you in without establishing worldbuilding, making you piece together what’s going on just as the main characters are thrown against each other.

It’s got a tight plot and characterization as well: they throw out a lot of threads, but they tie them together and keep them moving. Characters develop and change without changing the core of who they are. At this point, all it has to do is stick the landing to get a 10/10.

Haikyuu: 9/10 It’s still Haikyuu.

Still damn good. I almost cried over a receive that went really high up.

Talentless Nana: 9/10

This is a thriller that has kept me on the edge of my seat, wondering how it’s going to play out. I can’t get into it much without spoiling the base concept much, but if you like My Hero Academia, Among Us, and The Promised Neverland then DEFINITELY watch Talentless Nana.

The tension stays high, you don’t know who’s pulling all the strings, and they do an excellent job of giving you enough hints and foreshadowing to try and guess at some of the twists before they reveal them but still keep the action almost unpredictable. I’ve been seeing it week-by-week but I feel like this will be a show meant to be binged in one rollercoaster of a day. Again, I’m waiting to see if it sticks the landing but forsee a 10/10.

[stellar-imagines]

HEADCANONS REQUEST: ❝S/O doing the WAP dance.❞

[ Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia ] [ Characters: Midoriya Izuku, Bakugou Katsuki, Todoroki Shouto, Takami Keigo ]

「Headcanons of Midoriya, Bakugou, Todoroki and Hawks reacting to their S/O doing the WAP Dance.」 Warning: Slightly suggestive themes at the end?

MIDORIYA IZUKU

♤ You know that this boy gets flustered super easily but you did it anyway. You've been practicing alone most of the time because you know that if Midoriya is in the same room as you while you did this, you'd give him a heart attack. However, it's not like he has no idea about this trend. It was hard to miss, especially when it was all over social media. You were with him when you first saw the dance in tiktok. Cuddled up on the couch and holding onto your phone with Midoriya while you scrolled through your tiktok.

♤ To be honest, you didn't plan on telling your boyfriend that you have been diligently practicing this dance. So how he found out was completely by accident. You didn't expect him to come to your room on that day. Midoriya was hesitant when you didn't answer and decided to excuse himself, wondering what you're up to. There was that music playing and his eyes were instantly glued to your form, watching your hips sway, kicking your leg, and moving completely in sync.

♤ His cheeks were very red and he accidentally closed the door a bit too loud behind him. You had stopped to see that he was standing by your door. Instead of feeling embarrassed, you seemed to be quite happy to see him here. The song itself was downright scandalous, he knows it, you know it, everyone knows it. That itself was enough to make him flush red but seeing you dancing like that was just the icing on the cake. You teased him, asking if he liked it and if he thought you did well or not.

♤ Poor boy, he's too embarrassed to even respond, let alone look at you. He stutters a reply and it was really hard to catch but you didn't seem to care what he was saying, more focused on the look on his face. You were grinning from ear to ear, finding his expression too cute. When he finished talking, you quickly pecked him on the cheek as thanks. Just when you thought you could move on with your day, Midoriya pulls you to his lap and you were both now seated on the bed, he had his face buried into your neck as he muttered.

”You’re just too sexy and cute.” 

BAKUGOU KATSUKI

☆ Bakugou didn't really seem to care about the trends. He's the type of person who would be informed of the trends but never doing anything about it. On the other hand, you seemed to be interested and eager to try it out. Bakugou thinks that there's nothing really unique about the trend since it's just dancing to music which is something pretty common. However, he's not gonna judge you or anyone on it. Not because he respects people but because he just doesn't really give a fuck about it.

☆ The lyrics to the song were lewd, that was Bakugou noted but he didn't seem to care that much. He's heard it countless times on the radio, social media, and from your music player. You practiced the dance in secret, wanting to surprise your boyfriend as well as impress him with your skills. Bakugou has only seen the dance a couple of times and he doesn't really remember any of the moves. But from the lyrics, anyone could tell that it was pretty suggestive. But this was perfect for you, a perfect chance for you to take his breath away.

☆ He can't take his eyes away from you, not when you were wearing those leggings that hugged your delicious skin. Bakugou gets comfortable on your bed and watches as you bounce back and forth. He finds himself thinking that this trend wasn't so dumb after all. He lost it when you got down and moved your hips, making your ass shake. Boy is already getting off your bed the moment you finished your little dance and you didn't even need to ask for his opinion on what he thought about your dancing.

☆ The look in his eyes says it all and if that didn’t give away what he thought, that shit-eating grin sure did. You still asked him whether he enjoyed it or not — even though you already knew. He picked you up with ease, arms around your stomach as he stared up at you. Bakugou openly voices his opinion, telling you that he enjoyed it and was a bit surprised that you were practicing this behind his back. He moved his hands to grope your ass which made you squeak.

"So how about you show me that again one more time baby?"

TODOROKI SHOUTO

♡ Todoroki isn't that active in social media. His phone is only used to send messages and receive calls. So the chances of him knowing about this trend were quite low. You had planned on surprising him with your moves and during the time you were practicing, he was starting to hear about this trend where people dance to this somewhat suggestive song. Todoroki went to ask you about it first, knowing that you probably had a rough idea of what it was.

♡ Of course, being unable to deny him, you enlighten him. You showed him a few videos in tiktok of people dancing to the beat of the music. At first, he has his attention more on the dancers instead of the music. Sure, the dance was a bit — quite suggestive. And similar to Bakugou, he thinks that people dancing to music is pretty common. It wasn't until you told him about the lyrics that he understood why the choreography was like that. He feels a bit embarrassed, thinking that he was a bit too slow with realizing that.

♡ He was confused when you dragged him to your room, saying that you wanted to show him something. Todoroki thought that it was something you had bought but when you told him to sit on your bed while you get ready, he was starting to think that it was something else. You were hyping yourself up and began to play the music. He already has a rough idea of what you were going to do. But it didn't stop him from being taken by surprise. 

♡ He's staring at you a bit too much that you think he hasn't even blinked at all. Todoroki was entranced, completely mesmerized with your smooth and fluid movements. If you looked closer, you could see that his cheeks were slightly red. He was surprised that you had been scheming this but he certainly liked it. Once it was over, you skipped over to him with a grin on your face, happy to see his reaction. You ask if he was surprised and if he enjoyed the show or not?

"Is it too much to ask you to do that one more time?"

HAWKS (TAKAMI KEIGO)

♧ Bird man knows his memes and trends. This guy probably convinced you to do it at some point. You'd both be watching the video together and he would jokingly say that you would look hot dancing like that. Hawks is a tease so you just rolled your eyes at his words, telling him to stop messing around with you like that. He will tease you, saying that you would look hot and sexy. 

♧ He was probably just teasing you but you saw it as a challenge. You decided to practice in secret while he was out during hero work. The dance is very fast-paced, but you were determined to learn it. After a lot of cursing and hiding your bruises from your lover, you mastered it. You couldn't even wait to show it off to him. During practice, you thought about just giving up because of how embarrassing it was to be dancing like this.

♧ But when you remember that teasing smirk Hawks, you feel the need to put him in his place. And what better way than to take him by surprise than to master this dance and show it to him? You couldn't really think of anything better than this honestly. Since Hawks was out doing Hero work, you always had the apartment to yourself and never had to worry about him catching you practicing. Sometimes you'd be surprised by him hovering in front of the window on days where he finished work early or when he was given the opportunity to leave early.

♧ After all that cursing, blaming the song being too fast-paced and a lot of ice packs later, you finally mastered it and you were eager to show Hawks your results. The moment he got home, you dragged him to the living room and cleared up some things. And oh, the look on his face was better than what you imagined. Hawks has his eyes focused on your every movement. Watching you pop your ass, move your hips, and bouncing your ass, he was really impressed.

"You gonna put that skill to use somewhere else, babe?"

Total: 1514 words Published: 17.09.2020

Thank you for requesting! ｡٩(ˊᗜˋ)و*｡ This is one super trending dance in tiktok. Every single day, I would see this in my tiktok at least once. But we hope you liked it! ― author Lou

Thank you for requesting it! Hope you don't mind our choice of BNHA boys. And hope you enjoyed this! ― author Natsuki

Requests are open! Matchups are closed!

Please do not mind the grammar mistakes and typos.

[whump-town]

Here are some mini fics I have but lack the stability to create into full fics ( @clockedstar​ idea tasteuflly thrown in, as well) Warning for language (I have a potty mouth)

The Perfect Match

He’d promised and like everything good in his life he’d messed that up too. 

He’d promised and alone she had gone to her mother’s gala in Washington D.C. With him nowhere by her side, she spends hours rejecting the advances of too many men to count. Some, she knows, are sent by her mother. Aaron Hotchner is a good man but her mother suspects she can do better-- more political, is what she means. A man who is there more and a man whose face isn’t constantly decorated with bruises and cuts from his dangerous job. 

A man likely to survive long enough to retire.

And, what she loves most about him, is that he’s hours late and the gala is really over but he still comes.

He’s in a dirty suit and a white t-shirt that will never come clean in the wash. None of that matters. The men around him are in their best tuxedos and his hair hasn’t been combed in days. Still, the moment he sees her he cracks the biggest smile and buries his face in her bare shoulder. 

“You look stunning,” he compliments, shaking his head. Red is her color. So is green and blue and he'll remind her this tell the day he dies, because every color is her color. 

The crimson of her dress matches the blood caked to his skin. The blood staining his t-shirt. He’ll tell her later that it’s nothing too serious and when her fingers tear down his shield, and unbutton his shirt, she’ll find a cut right over his heart. 

For now, she runs her hand up the back of his neck, further messing up his hair. She likes this look. Not the bruises and the exhaustion she can read across his shoulders but the way he makes her feel home. The way his skin melts into hers and they’re just one person tangled in this impossible mess. 

She kisses his jaw, “you look like shit.” Just over his shoulder is a ballroom of younger men. Men who have more money and more time and who don’t smell like they haven’t showered in days. Men who have skin unmarked by serial killers and minds that don’t trick them at night. In her arms, though, is the only man she wants. The only man she has eyes for.

He chuckles, withdrawing himself from her hold enough to be able to look into her eyes.  

She knows his body better than he does. The glint in his eyes that says he loves her and he’s sorry and fuck, he wants to go home and curl into bed and forget this week he’s had. So she wraps her arm around his hips and pulls him close, whispering temptation into his ear about what she might do to him later. Knowing damn well that he’ll fall asleep the moment his head hits the pillow but it makes him blush and that’s all she wanted anyways.

Arms circling one another, they walk out side-by-side. 

He looks like he’s been run over by car. Covered in bruises and dried blood and a suit that’s ruined. While her hair bounces in it’s perfect curls and each step she takes is measured by her ballgown’s soft whoosh and her heels tapping along the marble floor. 

The perfect match.

Habits

Stoic, cold, and removed.

Everyday she hears the office throw these words at his back. She won’t waste her breath denying that he’s anything but. Because everyday he comes home and she undoes those web of lies. And how could they know any better? His coping mechanism is to shut down and it’s always worked… well, mostly.

If only they could see him in the depths of one of his many rants. Walking about their kitchen in nothing but his boxers, that character defining scowl slapping inplace as he tells her about social injustice. As he rants and raves until his heart is content. It’s into her arms that he tucks himself when he’s cooled off and resigned to the fact that no matter what they do, it will never be enough.

Aaron Hotchner wants to save the world but what can you do for a world unwilling to save itself?

He likes to spend Saturdays tucked away. In those early mornings he’s nearly successfully hiding himself from the whole world, only coming out for snacks and the need to be hugged every once in a while. Because he’s so tactile in his love. 

She doesn’t know what it’s like to cook without him standing over her. Hovering and talking and touching her shoulders or her hips because she can spend a whole day doing nothing but holding him and the moment she pulls away he’ll come with her, seeking more.

And people will ask her about their love.

Mistaking him as cruel and cold-- even their friends. It’s so hard to conceive him as anything but Agent Hotchner. 

But she loves him as Agent Hotchner and as Hotch and as Aaron. 

It breaks her heart to know that others don’t get to see him ranting like a nut in the middle of the night. His latest infatuation clutched in his hand. He’s loving and stark raving mad. But she wouldn’t trade those midnight rants for anything in the world. 

They won’t know that he sleeps on his stomach, half-rolled overtop her. That he likes to be held and he’s much to big for that but she holds him anyways. There is so much that they just don’t know.

He likes it when she scratches his back and if she rocks her body, it’ll put him to sleep right where he stands. That he has an entire library filled with books he’s collected and read over and over since he was in middle school. He gives her book recommendations-- just a simple book on her nightstand and a stick-note giving his own description of the book. 

He’s thoughtful and he’s kind and he’s so fucking aggravating.

He loves winter and she loves summer. 

He hates laying in a blanket but is always cold.

He likes to go walking in the snow and always forgets a hat. 

He’s prone to ear infections but refuses to take medicine for them.

He’s the most aggravating man she’s ever met. It’s unnecessary to die on the hills he’s firmly plants himself on and yet she finds herself crawling back for more. She loves nothing as much as she loves when he presses his face to her neck and wraps his body around her. She loves that he’s able to cry in the safety of her arms and that he laughs without abandon about the stupidest things.

But, God, she loves him.

Mirror

With all the gentleness she can manage, she brushes a tear away from his eyes. “Look at me,” she commands, softly. For years, and days, and cases, and excruciating long hours--- God, she just wants him to look at her. To be seen in that way he analyzes the whole world. For his soft eyes to see her as she is and trust her. To let her be this person. The person who puts him back together and takes him apart and reads him like her favoirte book.

Because he’s her favorite person.

“I can’t,” his voice breaks and he pushes his head back against her skin. 

He’s horrible. Mangled. The world has picked him up and damaged him so many times that he.... He fucks her in the dark with a shirt on. He only looks in the mirror if it’s fogged from the shower. He’s learned to shave by touch and not sight. Because he can’t-- he can’t look at himself. He can’t stand the sight of his own face so how is he supposed to expect her to?

Her lips find his and no matter how tightly he squeezes his eyes shut, the tears still fall. Because she could do better. Emily Prentiss has seduced men around the world. She could have a dictator or a millionaire and here she sits, instead. With him.

“I love you,” she whispers against his lips. “I love you.” And it doesn’t matter how many times she has to say it. She’ll remind him until spring and until his hair has grown white and with her dying breath-- “I love you.” 

And one day, he’ll realize she means it.

The Chains

There’s a single terrified scream that rings out through the room. For a moment, she mistakes it as her own plagued dreams. Sitting up she combs her fingers through her hair. Pushing flyaway strands of hair back out of her face. It takes her too long to realize it has nothing to do with her own dreams. 

“Aaron!” 

He’s crying out, thrashing in his panic to get untangled from the sheets. 

“Shh,” she has to dodge his quick, uncoordinated blows. If he hits her, she doesn’t feel it because what she’s worried about is the terrified screams leaving his mouth as he keeps trying to push away whatever he’s imagining. “Aaron,” she calls out. “Aaron wake up!”

He falls to the floor, moving himself until he hits the wall behind him. 

She tries to follow.

“No!” His shaking hands are raised between them. “No, please.” His chest is heaving, his face flushed. “Don’t touch me,” he pleads. “I don’t want to hurt you too.”

He’d done it. Snapped. Broken like his father had always said. Good for nothing--- and he’d found them all. Hunched over and begging and pleading and please stop, Hotch. Don’t! He’d held Jack’s broken body in his arms. Wilted and limp. He’d taken the life of his own son and then he’d turned and done it again and again---

“Please,” he sobs, blood still warm and wet on his hands. He forces himself to his feet, shaking so bad he falls back to his knees. “I’ll-- I’ll sleep on the couch.” He can still hear Morgan’s shout, the other man trying to pull him off of Dave. He can feel his split knuckles and the blood on his wrist, the look of horror on JJ’s face.

He’d killed them.

“Aaron,” Emily breathes, moving swiftly to palace herself between the door and him. “Stop--” she doesn’t touch him. She’s afraid of the noise that might tear out of his mouth if she does. “Stop,” she says, this time voice unwavering and calm. 

He’s not here. Not well or centered. “Get out,” he whispers, rubbing his hands down his pants. “Get out!” He throws his body forward and she’d be more afraid if she actually thought he might hit her. But the anger he means to throw at her is just fear. “Get out! Get out, please!”

So, she leaves. She caves.

As she shuts their bedroom door, she sits herself down on the floor. “I’ll be right here,” she says. “I’ll be here if you need me Aaron.” 

She can hear him pacing in the room. He sobs brokenly.

“Just breathe, baby.” She places her hand against the door, wishing she could be in there. He’d calm down if she could hold him. To reign him back down. “You’re okay,” she reminds him. “It was just a  dream. No matter how real it seemed. You’re okay. I’m okay.” It’s a stream of conscious thoughts that she just lets fall out of her mouth. “It was just a dream, Aaron.”

But he can’t wash their blood off his hands. 

“-- there's no way you could forget but do you remember when we tried to do it in the hammock?” She hasn’t stopped talking in… whenever it was that they parted ways. Her soft voice has been trickling through the room the whole time. The only real thing he can identify. “To be fair,” she says, “I didn’t think we’d end up in the hospital because of that.” 

His first ever sex injury. She’d been a mix of embarrassed, so very sorry, and proud. They were trying something new! No reason to be ashamed of that!

“I just remember looking at you in that hospital bed and thinking about how totally in love I was.” She leans her head back against the door. “Well, I was also thinking about how if we just lowered it a little more, you could hold the hammock steady and I could be on top--” she shakes her head. “Not the point.”

He wipes his nose with the back of his hand, lowering himself to the floor. He slowly inches closer to the door until his head is leaning against the frame, too. Until he’s as close as he can be… without putting her in danger. In danger of being close to him. 

“I just…” she sighs. “I don’t know if you’ve fallen asleep yet but, if you’re awake, I need you to know that I love you, Aaron.”

He shuts his eyes against the tears threatening to fall.

“I love you so much and when you’re okay, when you’re ready, I’m gonna hold you for so long.” She sniffles, wiping away the tear that falls down her cheek.  “I mean it,” she says. “You’re going to be so tired of me you’ll beg me to let you go but I won’t.” She smiles, “and we’ll just have to stay like that forever.”

It makes him smile. 

“I love you,” she repeats once again. “I mean that.”

She runs out of things to talk about around four in the morning. He’s stopped moving around the room and her curiosity gets the best of her. Knees giving heavy protests, she climbs to her feet. She hesitates before she opens the door. If he’s sleeping she doesn’t want to wake him but she also doesn’t want to come in if he’s not ready.

“Aaron?” She cracks the door open and frowns when she sees the bed’s empty. “Where--” she almost kicks him. 

He stirs when she stops, having made a soft noise in her surprise. Blinking slowly he looks up at her, wincing at the light coming from the hall. Where she expects some trepidation or maybe fear she finds nothing but soft vulnerability. “Did you mean it?” he asks, eyes slivers.

It takes her a moment to understand what he’s asking. Without a word passed between them, she pulls the comforter off of their bed. Settling down on the floor beside him she pulls the blanket around both of them. “You mean cuddling you until we both die?”

He smirks and presses his face into her neck. 

She wraps her arms around his shoulders. “There’s nothing I would rather spend my life doing.”