#normally i write these posts w/ little to no person in mind
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jack-owo-valentine · 12 days ago
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ineed-to-sleep · 1 year ago
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Girl we r obssessed
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amourane · 7 months ago
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why can't we love freely?
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pairing: theodore nott x hufflepuff!reader
genre: angsttttt, secret relationship
w/c: 2k
summary: you're tired of being a secret and it was time to let theo know.
warnings: HEARTBREAK
a/n: this was initially meant to be for a request and i started writing it and i got on a roll only to finish the piece and go back to check the request to realise i did it all wrong lmao, so i decided to just post this instead <3 enjoy!
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The busy chatter that filled the Great Hall was one that you were familiar with, afterall it had been the same for the past few years that you had been a part of Hogwarts. There was a hint of the sunlight peeking through the windows as the early morning bustle reached its peak. Everyone was rushing to pile breakfast onto the porcelain plates but you couldn’t help but linger at the entrance, looking back ever so often to check if a certain someone had arrived yet. 
“Y/n hurry! Bloody Ernie is going to have devoured all the croissants before I even have a bite.” Hannah whined as she pulled you along towards the Hufflepuff table.
Her incessant nagging eventually made you move and you dragged yourself towards your fellow house members albeit a little sad you hadn’t seen the person that had been on your mind. You dig into your own meal, stabbing the fruits with your fork and shoving them into your mouth. There was the normal hubbub that surrounded you and you felt yourself melt into conversation with your friends once again.
A voice caught your attention and you immediately perked up at the deep chuckle that had your heart skipping a beat. There he was: Theodore Nott. Quite arguably the most handsome person in all of Hogwarts and, of course, your boyfriend. His tousled hair framed his angled face perfectly with single strands that fall into his eyes. You watched as a smirk danced on his lips as he sauntered over to his side of the hall. Theodore Nott had always possessed an aura that drew you into him. Even when you both weren’t dating you often found yourself staring at the handsome boy from your table, wondering what he was really like.
As Theodore's gaze met yours in that fleeting moment, a silent exchange passed between you, laden with unspoken emotions. In the depths of his eyes, you saw the words he couldn't voice.
“I love you.”
It’s silent but it’s there.
The both of you had agreed to keep the relationship under the wraps, not wanting anyone to know about the two of you. It would cause an uproar and neither of you were sure if you wanted to handle the aftermath of the situation. So this was what it came to. Secret glances and whispered love confessions. You couldn’t walk up to him, you couldn’t kiss him in front of everyone, you couldn’t even talk to your friends about him.
Although you had said it would be fine for it to be a secret you didn’t think that he would still want to keep it a secret after so long. You didn’t want to hide your affection for Theo. You truly loved him more than anything and it had already been a year since you officially started dating. Surely it didn’t matter that much that it was a secret.
"Hello? Y/n? You there?" Hannah's voice pulled you from the depths of your thoughts, and you blinked, feeling as though you were emerging from a distant haze. Her concerned expression hovered before you as she waved a hand in front of your face, urging you back to the present moment.
You glanced down to find a forgotten cup of pumpkin juice in your hand, its contents untouched. How long had you been lost in your own thoughts?
"I'm... I'm sorry, Hannah." You murmured, offering her a weak smile as you tried to shake off the lingering tendrils of distraction. "I guess I just...drifted off for a moment there."
“You alright? You don’t look well.” She reached her hand to bring it to your forehead, trying to feel if you had a fever. “You were properly zoned out there.”
“Yeah yeah I’m fine.” You tried to brush off her concern and you offered her a meek smile. “Just didn’t have a good night’s sleep, that's all.”
Your friend looked at you, her lips pursed, a sign she didn’t actually believe what you said. You forced another smile in Hannah's direction, you silently hoped that she wouldn't press any further
Truth be told, you weren’t fine. The past couple of weeks had consisted of your thoughts rampaging in your mind. The continuous stream of worries that clouded your view as you tried desperately to reason with yourself. It wasn’t a huge issue that your relationship with the Slytherin was a secret but gradually what were stupid thoughts now turned into ones that plagued you everywhere you went. You’d be lying if you said you were okay with not even being acknowledged as his girlfriend as he ignored you in class and everywhere public.
Your eyes locked with Theo’s once again and you saw the way there was concern etched into his face. Your boyfriend knew when you were upset and he definitely knew that you were far from okay right now. He mumbled something to Blaise who was beside him before getting up to leave - a signal for you to do the same.
“I think I’m going to go take a nap before class starts, can you come wake me up later?” 
Hannah nodded and you thank her quickly before whisking yourself away in the direction the Slytherin had set off to. The chatter faded as you walked down the hallway and you were now left alone with your thoughts once again. It was bad you knew but you couldn’t help but feel as though you were something to be ashamed of. Was that why Theo was so desperate to cling on to the secrecy?
“Principessa?” Your boyfriend gently grabbed your wrist, twirling you around to face him and you realised you had been too caught up in your mind to even notice he was there. “You okay? You seem a bit off my love.”
His eyes twinkled with concern and you saw the love and affection you were familiar with and it warmed your heart. You loved Theodore Nott more than anything but the questions had plagued your mind for too long now and you needed to voice your thoughts. Otherwise, you thought you would go insane.
“Why are we a secret?”
It was barely above a whisper but Theo heard it. He knew that you weren’t one for loud environments, preferring the quiet of the library and the solitude of your dorm. You were always shy and introverted, rarely speaking to others. You liked to keep to yourself. Even with Theo you were shy and meek but that didn’t mean you weren’t happy. There was always a smile on your face, a loving beam that would make his own heart stutter. Yet your lips weren’t drawn into the bright grin he knew, instead they were in a frown and he recognised your nervousness as you wringed your hands.
Theo would have never considered himself to notice little details. He had always ignored everyone else around him and he never paid enough attention nor did he care enough about others to recognise the little tell-tale signs that everyone did. Until he met you. Then he noticed every little detail, from the way your nose would scrunch when you tried to bite back a laugh to the way you would tangle your fingers in your hair when you were trying to solve a problem.
So it was only natural he realised that you weren’t okay.
“Y/n we talked about this-”
“Yes I know it’s just that.” You paused. The words were bubbling up your throat, you felt them rising and rising and rising and you were unable to stop. You took a sharp inhale. “I don’t understand why, not anymore.”
“Y/n, mia cara, we’ve been through this. No one will accept us. People won’t understand the love between us and they’ll try to tear us apart. My friends, they won’t understand.”
“Then make them understand.”
You didn’t get it. You couldn’t get it. Was he ashamed? Was he embarrassed? Why couldn’t he fight for you, for both of you? 
You felt the tears welling in your eyes, threatening to roll down your face. It was all too much, the constant doubt, the dread, the shame. You had thought you would have been free of these thoughts for a day but who knew that today was when you would finally break. 
Your boyfriend wrapped his arms around your waist, tugging you into his chest. He felt warm and your arms loop around his body. You cling onto him, unwilling to let go. It was too late to stop the tears now and you felt them fall as you sniffled in his arms.
“Theo, Merlin knows we've been together for more than a year now, and it's been like living in a shadow. I've kept us a secret from everyone - my friends, my family - and I don’t even know anymore. I want to be able to love you openly, without fear or hesitation. I want to hold your hand, kiss your cheek, wake up beside you without worrying about who might see. And I know that there’s issues but we can work through them together can’t we? I want to love you freely…don’t you?”
You pulled away from his chest as you searched his eyes, pleading with him to agree with you. Theo stared at your figure. He watched as the tears he promised not to make fell from your eyes. He felt his heart twist at your words, unable to find the words he wanted to say. Silence. You waited. And then you saw it. The sliver of doubt. That was all you needed before you were recoiling from his touch, pushing his hands off you.
Theo was quick, he tried to pull you back, tried to keep you near him but it didn't stop you from trying to get as far away from him as possible. 
“Y/n, please, stay please.” 
His voice was a desperate plea, each syllable heavy with the weight of his love. But as you backed away, tears streaming down your cheeks, Theodore's heart shattered into a thousand irreparable pieces. He watched helplessly as you retreated from him, the distance between you growing with each shaky step you took.
You shook your head as you backed away from the boy you loved. You tried to steady your breathing but all you could manage were shaky breaths as the tears kept falling. It was all too much. It was overwhelming, the feeling that engulfed you whole when you first met Theodore Nott had spit you back out and now you were left not knowing what to do.
“I-I…I can’t.” You stuttered, refusing to look him in the eye. “I can’t do this, not when you don’t feel the same. I can’t, not anymore.”
“No.” Theo reached forward but it only made you step further away as if his touch would burn you like acid. His outstretched hand fell limply to his side, his heart breaking with each word you uttered. “No, don't do this. Y/n please don’t do this. Mia cara, I love you so much you know that. I love you to the moon and back and I will never stop loving you so please don’t do this. I’m begging you.”
“Not enough.” Your voice wavered as the words left your mouth. “You don’t love me enough and you’ve made that clear Theo. I can’t do this, I really can’t. I’m sorry.”
And then you were gone, disappearing into the depths of the corridor, leaving Theodore standing alone. Each word you said replayed in his mind. His emotions toss and turn in the turmoil he had been thrust into. You were gone. You left. He felt his heart burn and ache, pounding at his ribcage. There was a numbing pain that overtook his senses as a wave of anguish washed over him. He reached a trembling hand to his cheek, only to find it damp with tears
It was then that Theodore Nott realised it was the first time he had cried since his mother’s death.
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star-girl69 · 9 months ago
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As much as I love overprotective Clarisse which believe me I DO😍😍 am I the only one who kinda wants to see a protective reader if something happens to Clarisse or even Ivy?!
I feel like Clarisse may just sit back and be Yh that’s my girl 🤭
Literally kicking my feet and giggling while writing this
Also I love your writing so much it’s so goodddd I check my phone for any new posts all the time and scream when you do
TYSMMMMM BAE ILY!!!!!! been in a writing slump recently. someone else please write a mind bogglingly good clarisse fic to inspire me again. lord give me strength…
forget the fact this is 2 days late. thank y’all 🙏🙏
anyways officially adding danny to the perfect family bc I DO WHAT I WANT!!!!!!!!!!!
ok so imagine this
clarisse is participating in some sort of contest
like
idk roman gladiators LMAOOOO
but basically it’s like a big tournament? and yk she’s destroying eating it up cooking, whatever you will
finally she gets to like the semi-finals and atp everyone kinda knows she has it in the bag
her opponents are scared
(trust an underground betting ring was formed. everyone who bet on clarisse is thanking the gods and everyone who didn’t is shaking in their boots)
clarisse is happy bc you and the twins (danny and ivy)
are sitting right in the front row cheering her on
and she got a wonderful good luck kiss from you
so not only is she happy and thinking about that but also she’s convinced that she’ll win just bc she got a kiss from you
so the fight starts, ivy is genuinely SCREECHING at the top of her lungs she’s so me she can’t be normal about anything ever
and you and danny are just regularly cheering for her 😭
eventually someone behind you tells ivy to shut up
YOU WHIP AROUND BC WTF???
harshest death glare in the universe. like even zeus would be a little scared.
ivy doesn’t even notice she’s chill
the other person quickly shuts the fuck up.
then you turn back to watch clarisse and the fights just starting, the other dude is scared and knows his ass barely stands a chance
she’s having fun pummeling him
ugh fight scenes are hard to write
so eventually she tosses his ass to the floor
“GO MOM GO GO GO BEAT HIS ASS MOM BEAT. HIS. ASS.”
“IVY STOP FUCKING SWEARING”
and this dude, who’s laid on the ground, who knows he’s cooked, decides the best option is to grab some dirt and throw it in clarisse’s face
and no one was prepared for this
like clarisse was standing over him with her spear at his throat, smile on her face, everyone knew he was done for- THEN HE DECIDES TO PLAY DIRTY AND DO THIS???
like everyone thought clarisse had it in the bag
the rules for this competition were that you’re not allowed to use anything but your person and/or pre-approved weapon(s)
NOT EVEN CLARISSE WAS EXPECTING IT
SO SHES DISTRACTED BY THE FREAKING DIRT IN HER FACE
SO WHEN THIS BITCH KICKS HER SHE GOES DOWN
DEAD SILENT!!!!!!!
EVERYONE GASPS!!!!!!!
whispers in the crowd… “oh bro is cooked…”
(sorry i’m obsessed w saying cooked rn)
and he is cooked
but by someone unexpected.
clarisse is wiping the dirt off of her face swallowing her shame she can’t believe she got distracted and let herself fall she should have saw it coming but suddenly she hears someone screaming
she opens her eyes and sees you menacingly walking towards this dude, who’s still on the ground and scrambling away
and what’s funny it you’re yelling at him like a mother would
the crowd is giggling…
“THAT IS AGAINST THE RULES. WERE YOU NEVER TAUGHT MANNERS??? WERE YOU NEVER TAUGHT DECENCY??? SHAME ON YOU SHAME ON YOUR PARENTS SHAME SHAME SHAME”
clarisse is literally sitting there mouth dropped open when you grab his ear and he HOWLS
dragging him back towards clarisse, he’s kicking and screaming and literally CRYING
“HELP HELP HELP ME HELP SHE CANT SO THIS SHE CANT I DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG”
“YES THE FUCK I CAN YOU BROKE THE FUCKING RULES NOW APOLOGIZE YOU LAWLESS SWINE”
“I DIDNT DO ANYTHING PLEASE I DIDNT”
one of the apollo kids who organized the event is looking around (kinda enjoying it) but mostly very scared
“technically you did break the rules… sorry pal…”
“PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME”
obviously, this is the hottest thing clarisse has ever seen in her life.
she’s sitting back on her palms, watching in utter amazement, trying not to bite her lip
someone loving clarisse… that gets her going
someone loving clarisse enough to PROTECT HER??? she’s about to explode. EXPLODE. she’s never needed you so bad in her life LMAOOOO 😭
and this bitch is STILL refusing to apologize
like damn it’s not that hard… it’s not like you have any pride left to speak of you just got dragged around by the ear 😭😭 bro you’re cooked just apologize and get out while you can
AND YOU’RE GETTING FED UP WITH IT TOO
“hey, dumbass, why don’t you look at the stands?”
you point, and everyone follows your finger.
ivy is a literal cartoonish whirl of her pink t-shirt and the white shorts with the little trees on them
danny is holding her back (with ease, might i add he’s strong as fuck 💪)
“i’ll let her out.”
“I DIDNT DO ANYTHING-”
“LET HER OUT”
he barely escapes that attack.
when you finally call ivy off of her attack, she stands next to clarisse, literally growls at the dude, before hugging clarisse
clarisse is still on the ground in utter shock.
she can’t keep her eyes away from you and ivy. she can’t get rid of the GLOWING feeling in her chest
is this… what it’s like… to be loved?
WAHHHHHH WAHHHHHHHH BITCH NOW IM THE ONE CRYING NOOOOOOOO 😭😭😭
danny eventually walks over and helps her up
then they all watch as you smile sweetly at this very traumatized dude and ask if he’s ready to apologize
“IMMSORRUOHGOEE IMSORHR ESEBIMS YORUUE”
(i’m sorry oh gods im sorry i’m sorry”
then you walk over to clarisse, rolling your eyes and mumbling about bad parenting, girl she pounces on you.
kisses you so hard in front of everyone
ivy and danny are hugging each other and shielding each other’s eyes, screaming, begging for you two to stop
“y/n” she breathes as she pulls away “you are… the most amazing mother, the most amazing girlfriend, and literally the love of my fucking life.”
literally twirling your hair “omg baeeeee you’re too sweet 🤭”
(y’all don’t end up leaving her cabin for a LONG time.)
after this clarisse definitely sort of realizes a whole new side of your relationship. seeing you publicly defend her like that, publicly care about her, love her, omg she is going crazy for you!!!
after this incident she definitely stops calling you her gf.
gives you a really pretty ring she got one of the hephaestus kids to make, starts calling you her wife
and nobody better have a problem w that lol or else they got two ares killing machines, one feral attack dog, and a literal mother who is not afraid to drag you by your ear.
—-
taglist:
@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex @luvrrish @rebecca37 @saltair-and-palemoonlight @ace-spades-1
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redr0sewrites · 4 months ago
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I loved your Sounding HCs post for the Batboys! But you won't mind making aftercare HCs for Nightwing (preferably for him to be the sub in this situation)?
🥀A/n: AWHWHEHE TYSMM!!! ofc i dont mind, i love writing aftercare hcs soo much ♥️
🥀Cw: mostly fluff, a little suggestive/allusions to sex, not proofread sooooo yea 😭
🥀Character(s): Dick Grayson x reader
🥀minors dni
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after subbing, Dick is definitely a lot more vulnerable during aftercare
theres a high chance of him being in subspace or at least a little out of focus, and he would prefer for you to stay close until he becomes more conscious. if you try to get up before he's really ready, he may cry or think your mad/want to leave him- ESPECIALLY if he was being bratty. he's a lot more insecure than usual, pls praise him :(
veryyyy clingy and cuddly. even though you both know you have to get up and clean, Dick does not want to let you go.
loves just laying on top of you and nuzzling into the crook of your neck. he's barely awake after just a few minutes, more than content to fall asleep with a mess still between his legs and cum staining the sheets. you have to pry him off of you to go get stuff to clean up, and he will complain about you "leaving him to rot alone forever"
needs a lot of praise and attention, especially after subbing. Dick can't help but feel a little anxious after sex, and he just needs that extra reassurance. this is especially true after a rough session or being degraded, as he cares a lot about what you think of him
Dick also praises you a lot, whispering sweet nothings into your ear and pulling you impossibly close. he's a lot more romantic after sex rather than flirtatious, and wants you to know that he loves you and trusts you a lot
loves bathing/showering with you!! complains about getting put of bed, but once you both are in the tub or shower he's all clingy and sweet. loves when you wash his hair or massage his scalp for him, and will gladly wash you off in return
steals your fancy soaps and hair products, claiming its only fair after you were so rough with him
theres a high chance of him falling asleep on you in the bath, with his arms around you waist and his head tucked into the crook of your neck
will try to get you to carry him back to bed, but only jokingly. if you actually picked him up he'd feel bad (but would also find it a bit hot)
offers to help you change the sheets or clean the bed and refuses to take no for an answer. Dick could literally be exhausted and shaking from overstimulation and will still try to do his best to help you out. its partially because he doesn't want to seem lazy or vulnerable and doesn't want to be weak, and partially because he doesn't want you to think that he expects you to do all the work after sex. this is also the case even if he's dominant, this man refuses to let you do all the work and is insistent on helping out
this is just my personal hc but i think Dick is not the type to put clothes on after sex, he just sleeps naked. i feel like he normally sleeps w clothes on but after sex he just doesn't really see the need to, especially if theres going to be another round in the morning (which their often is). he doesn't care whether or not you wear clothes but he is definitely sleeping naked besides you
still very clingy!!! Dick always falls asleep first after subbing, he really can't help it. if you also sleep naked he's a bit excited about the simple body contact, and like sleeping as close as possible
i think Dick is the type to be very babbly after sex, your someone he trusts and he just loves talking to you. he's asking you random questions, whispering how much he loves you, and acting drunkenly sweet. it almost makes you think that he is actually intoxicated because of how honest he becomes, hut you soon realize that it's actually just a sign of how comfortable he is and it makes him feel safe
asks "would you love me if i was a worm" unironically and would get sad if you said no ☹️ (say yes you absolute monster)
definitely falls asleep mid sentence too, one second he's talking about how much he loves you and the next second he's drifting off to sleep
not to make this nsfw, but i def think Dick is into somno and is def the type to have wet dreams even after sex, especially when he's subbing. sometimes he wakes you up in the night feeling really needy (or you just wake up to him humping your thigh..) and that will lead to another round so... yea (i need him so bad oml i really want to write this now. if anyone would want to hear me elaborate... 😇)
AAAA HOPE EVERYONE ENJOYEDDD!!! i love doing aftercare hcs so so sooo much so pls feel free to send in more!!! also if anyone wants to hear my absolutely insane totally not self indulgent yapping about somno w Dick i am more than happy to oblige 😇😇😇 anyways!!! pls send in requests!!!! plspldpslsplsls please!!!!
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open-sketchbook · 2 months ago
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my girlfriend is asking for where she can find your written works, she really likes the one post you made about your mindstate wandering w/r/t making porn stories and she'd love to support you & read your stories
Sure!
I write my (public) fiction on the website Sufficient Velocity, a sci-fi forum. Most of them are in the form of 'quests', interactive stories; my day job is an independent tabletop roleplaying game designer, so the two things go hand in hand.
I unfortunately am both very busy and kind of a mess mentally, so fiction gets picked up and dropped a lot, and I write less than ever these days due to the shambles that my life has become.
For my quests, the stuff I'm proudest of is...
Castles of Steel, a longrunning (though currently on hiatus) story set in an alternate world much like our own, but with radically different gender politics. It's about the first woman in the navy of a country a lot like 1910s Imperial Japan, and more generally about how state power and imperialism entangles itself with and recoups social progress.
A Splinter in your Mind, a retelling of the Matrix with new characters and reimagined twists and worldbuilding. It makes the trans subtext into trans dommetext, and I feel its some of my cleverest writing.
Suffer Not, and especially its sequel The Witch Lives. Suffer Not is a Warhammer 40,000 fic about an Inquisitor who abuses her powers to actually make people's lives better, and is the story of her slowly realizing it is not enough. The Witch Lives takes place ten years later, following the grown up psyker the Inquisitor adopted, and focuses much more on faith, history, and the little people.
The Spider-Liv Trilogy started as a silly and honestly kind of bad extreme-divergence spiderman AU, but its sequel The Amazing Arachne is, I think, genuinely really good, because it's about what happens when a superhero gets hurt and then doesn't get better.
I've managed to properly publish two pieces of writing, as in you can get them in book form, and I'm still really proud of both.
Whispers from the Deep is an adaptation of the quest that defined the setting of my roleplaying game Flying Circus. It's about a young woman who steals a plane and runs away from her abuser with her boyfriend, and then has to take up life as an aerial mercenary in a 1920s-themed post-apocalyptic fantasy world. Also, she's a fish person and her village is a Cthulhu cult!
Lieutenant Fusilier in the Farthest Reaches is a pastiche of the Richard Sharpe books by Bernard Cornwell, moving the setting from the Napoleonic Wars to a bizarre future world where sentient, cheerfully productive robots were invented in the early 19th century and promptly took all the jobs, elevating all of humanity to the gentry and then to the stars. It's about a redcoated robot soldier who uses her immortality to save up and buy a commission in the Army of Great Britain and Beyond, a position normally occupied exclusively by humans, and then facing the fallout of her decision and the life choices leading to it as her first deployment spirals out of control. It's also, sorta, a parody of Star Trek; the Galactic Concert is a mechanized, Regency-themed Federation, and the back half of the book is basically about how the problems of a world cannot be solved by an away team of well-meaning people with stun pistols.
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strwberri-milk · 1 year ago
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hello anything that is not linked is bc it exists in the queue/drafts and will be posted via the queue system uwu
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Kaeya Alberich: Masterlist - Google Docs
A Snowflake's Journey Home - Fluff, Cuddling - AO3 >>> Kaeya finally returns home after a work trip. Surely you're going to reward him with attention after working so hard, right?
Don't We Have Chemistry? - Fluff, TA!Kaeya, First Meetings - AO3 >>> Kaeya Alberich, local biology lab TA falls in love with the person who almost broke his toe via theory textbook.
Rolled Down Windows - Fluff, Modern Era - AO3 >>> What else is a lab tech supposed to do when he thinks he's in love with someone?
Sewn With Love - Fluff, Uni AU, - AO3 >>> A cold classroom, a cozy boyfriend who can't keep his hands off you, and a piece of fabric all further confirm Kaeya's affections for you.
The Weight of his World - Fluff, Uni AU- AO3 >>> After an exhausting day you decide to collapse in your boyfriend's apartment, showing you a slightly different side to him than you expected.
Your Mark On The Universe - Fluff, Everyone loves Kaeya - AO3 >>>Kaeya's meant to look after Klee for the day but she decides she has other plans when he hands her a handbound book he's made for her specifically. Find out what Klee managed to do as she hunted down members of the Knights (and a certain grouch) to write a certain someone notes.
Sweet Misery - Explicit Smut - AO3 >>>A relationship is fifty/fifty. You fuck the living daylights out of your boyfriend, he does the same for you.
Mirrors - Fluff, Requested >>> You have the same powers as him.
Good Boy - Smut, Requested >>> Female reader rims Kaeya.
The Same Vision - Fluff, Requested >>> Witnessing you get the same vision as them.
Tearful Embrace - Hurt/Comf, Implied Nightmares >>> Hugs make everything better, don't they?
Yours - Hurt/Comf, Jealousy - AO3 >>> Jealousy might be normal but that doesn't mean it makes it any easier to bear.
Some Things Are Better Left Unspoken - Fluff, Comf- AO3 >>> The fact that he can't return those three little words you give to him every day vexes him constantly but the sight of you lessens that burden.
Practise Makes Perfect - Smut - AO3 >>>There's nothing a little bit of effort can't ever solve.
A Kiss of Wine, Pt. 2 - Fluff, First Meetings, Spin the Bottle - AO3 >>> A game of spin the bottle with this stranger you've just met surely can't go that bad can it?
Sweet Dreams - Smut, Wet Dreams - AO3 >>> When Kaeya wakes up just desperate for your attention there's no way you can say no to him.
I Know You'll Always Love Me (And I Wish It'd Be Enough) - Smut, Angst no Comf - AO3 >>> Forever was a promise that you made to him. You just didn't realise how much this version of forever could hurt.
Paper Hearts - Angst/Comf, Smut - AO3 (Pt 2 to ^^) >>> His mind was forever caught on "I love you".
Obedience Pays - Smut, Requested - AO3 >>> Kaeya's request devolves into a fun night for the both of you.
Payback's A Bitch - Smut, Requested - AO3 >>> You really don't think ignoring Kaeya's texts all day is going to end well, do you?
My Sweet Little Thing - Smut, Requested - AO3 >>> After working so hard, you're sure to give Kaeya a warm welcum home.
Kaeya x Virgin Reader - Smut, Requested
Kaeya x Plus Sized Reader - Fluff, Requested
Kaeya Aftercare - Fluff, Rrequested
Kaeya x Reader With Walls Up (Except for Him) - Suggestive, Requested
Kaeya x Reader W/ Period - Fluff, Requested
Kaeya x Jealous Reader - Fluff, Requested
Valentine's Day W/ Kaeya - Fluff, Requested
Valentine's Day W/ Kaeya, But You're Sick - Comfort, Requested
Kaeya W/ Reader Who Can't Handle the Cold - Fluff, Requested
Emperor Kaeya - Requested
Kaeya X Plus Sized Reader - Smut, Requested
Playing WIth Kaeya's Hair - Fluff, Requested
Singer Kaeya x Guitarist GF - Fluff, Requested
Figure Skater Kaeya x Reader - Fluff, Rivals, Requested
Kaeya X Reader From Another Dimension - Fluff, Requested
Kaeya and Lipstick Kisses - Fluff, Requested
Growing Up with a Pining Kaeya - Fluff, Requested
To See the Stars in Your Eyes - Requested >>> Kaeya meets his mom.
Band!Kaeya x Reader - Fluff, Requested
Kaeya and Poetic Rizz - Fluff, Requested
Bitey Kaeya - Fluff, Requested
In Love With Friend's Partner, Pt. 2 - Angst, Angst/Comf, Requested
VampYa - Fluff, Requested
Tattoo Artist Kaeya Fantasizes, Pt. 2 - Smut, Requested
Making Out + Dry Humping - Smut, Requested
Seatmate Kaeya Likes You - Smut, Requested
StreamerYa - Fluff, Requested
Cat Hybrid Reader Scratches Kaeya Up - Smut, Requested
Academic Rivals to Lovers - Fluff, Requested
Sitting on Kaeya's Lap - Fluff, very light Suggestive, Requested
Enemies to Lovers - Requested
Confessing in Khaenri'ahn Secretly Before You Leave - Angst, Requested
Finding Out You Killed Diluc - Angst, Requested
Making You Squirt - Smut, Requested
Musical Reader - Fluff, Requested
Falling in Love After Watching You Dance - Fluff, Requested
Kaeya x Demon Reader - Hurt/Comf, Requested
Intimidating Reader, Pt. 2, Pt. 3 - Fluff, Requested
Curly Haired Reader - Fluff, Requested
Reuniting W/ Childhood Friend + Developing Feelings - Fluff, Requested
Insecure Reader W/ Big Sweater - Fluff, Requested
Hooking Up After A Concert - Smut, Requested
Confessed to By Diluc - Smut, Requested
Trust Issues^2 - Fluff, Requested
Jealous Reader Snaps - Fluff, Requested
Body Swap - Fluff, Requested
Reader Struggles w/ Their Vision - Fluff, Requested
Walking in on you Changing - Fluff, Requested
Kaeya Meets a Fortune Teller - Requested
Enemies With Benefits - Smut, Requested
Gold Rush Coded S/O - Requested
Mind Reader Kaeya - Smut, Requested
247 notes · View notes
Text
Hello Everypony :3
finally doing one of these, lol
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💙About me!💜
Welcome to my blog for,,, everything! No sideblogs around here we die like men/j
My name is Oliver, but you can also call me oli! (ive got other names too, but that's the main one, check my pronouns page for the whole list!)
Xe/Void/Fox/It/They pronouns but get silly with it, i dont mind!! (except she/her)
We're a system! We dont talk about it a lot but sometimes it comes up yay!!
important post you should read!
Other important post to read before interacting with my content!!
I write and draw tho i am better at writing, lmao
@inky-drawings is my lovely girlfriend whom i love very much<333
@azamonvoid is my sib from another crib whom if i dont see soon heads will start rolling<3
@lmanburgseulogy SUPER AMAZING person (cough im copying part of the intro from bug), also my twin o7
@willthemicrowave AMAZING DUDE. Tem you're super cool
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❌DNIs❌
cc!Wilbur and/or cc!Dream Team supporters. If i ever post about them its the characters.
-> also, if you see me reblogging from someone who supports them, please warn me!
Anyone who engages in discourse, esp syscourse. I do not care, let people live. Any interaction about it will be ignored and/or deleted. This isnt the place for it.
People in poppytwt/blr. I understand some people write it or engage in it to cope, but it personally just makes us uncomfortable. Thank you.
Just in general hateful people. Transphobes, terfs, homophobes, misogyinists misandrists ect ect. It is not that hard to leave people alone, and if you can't, get out.
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✨ (main) Fandoms!! ✨
Hermitcraft/Life series!! My faves are Grian, Etho, Impulse, Zed, Jimmy and Mumbo (not in that order)
-> i engage in shipping the characters, quite a lot,,, if it makes you uncomfortable this ain't the place for you lol
DSMP! my mains are sbi (especially twinsduo you will always be famous to me,,,,), and sometimes feral boys!
-> i dont care most of those people are problematic now, my au just took a general outline of the smp then rewrote everything. There is barely any connection w/actual canon
SCU/Slimecicle cinematic universe!! Blame @alliumsmybeloved for this/j
Hollow Knight! Quirrel, Hornet, Hollow and Ghost are my faves!
-> nothing much other than i hate the traitor lord with a burning passion, lol
and many, many more!! Including percy jackson, portal, ect - these are just the ones im hyperfixating on the most lately!!
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⚠ Terms and conditions? ⚠
I'm ok with flirting but ask first just to be sure!
autistic silly little guy. Sometimes i get too much, feel free to tell me if i exagerate and get weird!
-> be nice about it tho, please,,,
send asks send asks!!! They're so silly i love em<333
i do take requests on doodles, headcanons, snippets ect!! It just takes me a bit sometimes to answer!
I have a dsmp/hermitcraft/qsmp/ect au im working on, my magnum opus/j, go check it out it's @the-caladrius-au RAAHHH
I write about the characters, never the ccs.
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💬Tag guide!💬
#Oli talks! -> silly tag for everything of mine, rambles,art, writing, reblogs (sometimes,,,)
#shift talks! -> like the above but for shift, one of our other alters :3
#Will talks! -> I think you get where I'm going with this
#Olis faves -> fav posts and/or posts i want to look back on!
#Oli writes -> pretty self explanitory, for when i write :3
#Oli draws -> for my art n doodles!
#Mutuals my beloveds -> Moot tag!!! For asks or when i talk with/about my mutuals! (if i forget to put it in a post with you, feel free to tell me!)
#nonnies my beloveds -> anon asks
#Beloveds! -> posts about/with @inky-drawings and/or @azamonvoid
#higgs Field au and #HFAU -> posts about my dsmp x Hermitcraft rewrite au
#the multiverse system -> stuff about our system!
#the horrors saga -> the horrors,,,,,, I just wanna write,,,,
#Twinsduo crumbs -> any and all Twinsduo content because I'm normal about them (lie)
#sillytick -> tag for @cao-tick ::3
#dr.dejekyll -> tag for @genocreative / @hydehydejeykll ::3
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-> if i forget to tag things properly feel free to remind me!!!
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[plain text under cut]
Hello Everypony :3
finally doing one of these, lol
💙About me!💜
Welcome to my blog for,,, everything! No sideblogs around here we die like men/j
My name is Oliver, but you can also call me oli! (ive got other names too, but that's the main one, check my pronouns page for the whole list!)
They/It/xe pronouns but get silly with it, i dont mind!! (except she/her)
We're a system! We dont talk about it a lot but sometimes it comes up yay!!
important post you should read!
I write and draw tho i am better at writing, lmao
@inky-drawings is my lovely girlfriend whom i love very much<333
@azamonvoid is my sib from another crib whom if i dont see soon heads will start rolling<3
@lmanburgseulogy SUPER AMAZING person (cough im copying part of the intro from bug), also my twin o7
@willthemicrowave AMAZING DUDE. Tem you're super cool
❌DNIs❌
cc!Wilbur and/or cc!Dream Team supporters. If i ever post about them its the characters.
-> also, if you see me reblogging from someone who supports them, please warn me!
Anyone who engages in discourse, esp syscourse. I do not care, let people live. Any interaction about it will be ignored and/or deleted. This isnt the place for it.
People in poppytwt/blr. I understand some people write it or engage in it to cope, but it personally just makes us uncomfortable. Thank you.
Just in general hateful people. Transphobes, terfs, homophobes, misogyinists misandrists ect ect. It is not that hard to leave people alone, and if you can't, get out.
✨ (main) Fandoms!! ✨
Hermitcraft/Life series!! My faves are Grian, Etho, Impulse, Zed, Jimmy and Mumbo (not in that order)
-> i engage in shipping the characters, quite a lot,,, if it makes you uncomfortable this ain't the place for you lol
DSMP! my mains are sbi (especially twinsduo you will always be famous to me,,,,), and sometimes feral boys!
-> i dont care most of those people are problematic now, my au just took a general outline of the smp then rewrote everything. There is barely any connection w/actual canon
SCU/Slimecicle cinematic universe!! Blame @alliumsmybeloved for this/j
Hollow Knight! Quirrel, Hornet, Hollow and Ghost are my faves!
-> nothing much other than i hate the traitor lord with a burning passion, lol
and many, many more!! Including percy jackson, portal, ect - these are just the ones im hyperfixating on the most lately!!
⚠ Terms and conditions? ⚠
I'm ok with flirting but ask first just to be sure!
autistic silly little guy. Sometimes i get too much, feel free to tell me if i exagerate and get weird!
-> be nice about it tho, please,,,
send asks send asks!!! They're so silly i love em<333
i do take requests on doodles, headcanons, snippets ect!! It just takes me a bit sometimes to answer!
I have a dsmp/hermitcraft/qsmp/ect au im working on, my magnum opus/j, go check it out it's @the-caladrius-au RAAHHH
I write about the characters, never the ccs.
💬Tag guide!💬
#Oli talks! -> silly tag for everything of mine, rambles,art, writing, reblogs (sometimes,,,)
#shift talks! -> like the above but for shift, one of our other alters :3
#Will talks! -> I think you get where I'm going with this
#Olis faves -> fav posts and/or posts i want to look back on!
#Oli writes -> pretty self explanitory, for when i write :3
#Oli draws -> for my art n doodles!
#Mutuals my beloveds -> Moot tag!!! For asks or when i talk with/about my mutuals! (if i forget to put it in a post with you, feel free to tell me!)
#nonnies my beloveds -> anon asks
#Beloveds! -> posts about/with @inky-drawings and/or @azamonvoid
#higgs Field au and #HFAU -> posts about my dsmp x Hermitcraft rewrite au
#the multiverse system -> stuff about our system!
#the horrors saga -> the horrors,,,,,, I just wanna write,,,,
#Twinsduo crumbs -> any and all Twinsduo content because I'm normal about them (lie)
#sillytick -> tag for @cao-tick ::3
#dr.dejekyll -> tag for @genocreative / @hydehydejeykll ::3
-> if i forget to tag things properly feel free to remind me!!!
30 notes · View notes
dissociacrip · 1 year ago
Text
some ways that congenital hypotonia affects me personally in my everyday life
disclaimer: this is a "i want to see hypotonia talked about more"/vent-post adjacent thing rather than something that should be used as some kind of diagnostic reference. hypotonia is more of a symptom than a condition on its own & is associated with a wide variety of diagnoses, i personally don't have a label or explanation for what i experience other than "congenital hypotonia" (and my case is not "self-diagnosed," this was identified when i was still a child.)
generalized hypermobility and painful joint instability either caused by hypotonia or at least contributed to by it if not; no frequent dislocations but joints still tracking badly (especially my knees) and causing pain, ankle instability once gave me an injury
related to above, knees have occasionally buckled/threatened to give out, usually when i'm tired or when i've stood from a sitting position in a chair
unfixable bad posture putting unnecessary strain on a lot of things (reason why my hamstring muscles are so tight)
sitting or standing up easily causing fatigue and pain unless something else is adquately supporting my body (normal chairs usually don't suffice because that still requires adequate posture)
related to above, persistent need to lean on things for support; this is the primary reason why i own a cane
staying in bed a lot due to the above because it's the only time my body doesn't have to support itself
tendency to drool, usually when laying down
dysphagia (things feel "stuck" in my throat a lot, swallowing capsules is becoming more and more uncomfortable), aspirating food/water, acid reflux making these issues worse
may or may not be part of the reason i'm a bit of a loud breather
sometimes chewing hurts or is tiring (or talking)
related to above, mild speech issues mainly affecting articulation (e.g. mouth making a "v" sound rather than "th" sometimes), makes speech physically feel weird or forced, or something even painful; sometimes "talking out of the side of my mouth"
poor grip = poor handwriting, also often makes writing or gripping things painful, including holding/typing on my phone
related to above, makes drawing hard because i don't have proper grip/as much control over my hands as i should
doesn't happen too often but almost randomly losing my balance; i'll just be standing minding my own business and then i'll start tipping over
related to above, can't just stand still and be still, i start tipping in different directions and i think i've subconsciously learned to counteract this when i'n required to stand in place
walking/moving slowly because it feels like my muscles don't have the capacity to move any faster, even if i'm not really "tired" per-se (decreased state of readiness for movement)
have a very hard time holding my head up spine even remotely straight when i am actually tired/worn out
legs/arms start shaking if i hold them out against gravity
also, legs shake if i sit on the floor/a flat surface with my knees bent upward, or arms quickly start to give out if i lay on my stomach and prop myself up on my elbows
walking feels awkward/uncomfortable and wrong most of the time; anything wrong with my gait is probably only recognizable to a PT or someone else who knows what they're looking for, but things just feel too loose/floppy when i walk; probably the reason why i'm prone to tripping and accidentally kicking stuff (POTS-induced ataxia - or w/e it is - makes this much worse)
also probably contributes to constipation and maybe other digestive problems
there's probably more but that's all i can think of for now. this is not universal hypotonia experience as hypotonia is a symptom that varies in its severity and my case seems fairly mild, but i thought i'd talk a little bit about what it's like since it's an under-discussed thing (especially pertaining to disabled adulthood.)
this is okay to reblog.
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the-s1lly-corner · 4 months ago
Note
Hiiii I've been reading through your crp posts and I just have to say I love your hcs. With that being said, would you mind writing Eyeless Jack x FTM!Reader with dysphoria? (sorry if you've already done it, I haven't seen any.) Tysm ♡
Eyeless Jack x FTM!reader w/ dysphoria
loosely related but the other day i thought i looked more masc than i normally do and yall i felt so nice- usually i dont care about my appearance (what being so disconnected to your identity and body does to a mf) but ooooough notes: reader is male, short post due to the admin trying to work through some built up requests </3 cws: none
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honestly, i personally headcanon eyeless jack to be unlabeled as well as a little GNC in terms of how he outwardly presents- hes well aware of different identities and has done some level of research at some point
a good listener, so if you need someone to lean on if youre feeling more dysphoric than some days then hes your go to person, hes more straight forward and blunt when it comes to advice and comfort though..
lets you borrow his hoodies if youre feeling... hmm... about yourself, depending on how youre built compared to him its pretty loose! also pretty soft and cozy, surprising given the things jack does while wearing it... yeah its best not to dwell on that part
he doesnt compliment looks all that often but if he notices you looking more glum than usual hes going to remind you how handsome he thinks you look
if you take any horomones he makes sure you keep on top of that- does this with other stuff you need to take fairly regularly, meds... and food... and water... actually he just makes sure youre taking care of your body in general
30 notes · View notes
h-c-u · 1 year ago
Text
No Longer a Secret pt 6
Summary: The one with A LOT of planning and phone-calls.
Pairing: Toto Wolff x fem!reader
W/C: 7.1k
Rating: PG, age gap
TWs: none
A/N: So... I honestly wasn't planning on writing it today, but welp - it kinda spilled, so here we go... There is not a lot of action in this one, but a few Original Characters were very briefly introduced. Most of them will become a part of this story, so if you have any questions about them - please feel free to ask. One day, when there will be more of them included, I will most likely make a separate post dedicated to them, but for now - there are comments, asks, and messages :)
Taglist: @crimeshowjunkie, @omgsuperstarg
Series Masterlist | Masterlist | List of tags | Playlist for the series
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Of course, there was a party after the race. Your first one with the team... And you seriously considered it being the last one, because currently you could hear the grass growing with your whole body and it hurt like a motherfucker. How the rest of the people on the jet weren't hungover? You had no idea. It must have been witchcraft. Because you couldn't explain it any other way, since you were the youngest of them all.
There was some light teasing, but after they realized how genuinely miserable you were, they stopped, and someone even brought you another alka-seltzer, a bottle of cold water, and chewing gum, for which you were extremely grateful because without it you would have definitely thrown up when the plane was climbing to the higher altitudes.
When it was safe to unbuckle the belts, everyone started moving and making conversation. Still, you were definitely not in the right state of mind for any of that, so when Toto motioned you closer to him, you gladly did just that and sat across his lap, with your legs over the soft armrest. He reclined the chair, so you would be more laying on your left side than sitting, which helped relieve the heartburn almost instantly. He was so gentle with you, that you almost melted into his soft shirt that smelled faintly of the detergent he used at home. With his one arm supporting your back and the other resting on your thighs, you felt much better.
You could see the other people trying to hide the surprised looks on their faces at the sight of you two cozying up because even though your relationship was no longer a secret, it must have been a little bit weird to witness the casual physical affection for the first time. But if you were completely honest, you didn't mind. You were all still getting used to the new dynamic between you and them, so it was only natural that it might take some time. And they weren't exactly weird or uncomfortable either, so you knew that sooner rather than later all the wrinkles will iron themselves out.
- Schatzi, we were supposed to decide on who should do the interview... - Toto said quietly, gently rubbing his thumb over your thigh. You honestly forgot about it, so you were glad that he brought it up. - But if you're not up for it now...
- No, I'm good, I'm good. - you said with a weak smile. - But after running it over and over in my head, I honestly think that Laura would be the best choice. - you stated, and when normally you would look up at him, this time you kept your head on his shoulder and kept your eyes closed.
- The talk show host? - he knew who Laura was from your stories, but he still made sure.
- Yes. In the past she had a few special episodes dedicated to interviewing one person when the topic was hot, so we could fit into that category. - you started explaining, and your warm breath tickled Toto's neck, which made him scrunch his nose and smile. - She's known for not taking any bullshit, so she definitely wouldn't go easy on us, but her reputation and the fact that it would air on BBC would give it more weight. - you explained the reasons behind this choice, and Toto only hummed in agreement.
- Don't you think we're a bit too low on a food chain to appear on her show? Doesn't she host celebrities? - those questions were genuine, and under normal circumstances, you would have agreed. But you two unintentionally became a sensation overnight and even people outside of the racing community were interested in you as a couple.
- She does, but right now... Let me show you, it will be quicker. - you mumbled and reached for your phone, but it was in your bag, so instead you took his from the table, unlocked it, typed his name into the browser, and showed him the screen with numerous headlines. "Toto Wolff is a spoken man and ladies are howling", "19 things surprisingly younger than the age gap between Toto Wolff and Y/n Y/ln.", "What do we know about Toto Wolff and Y/n Y/ln?", "Y/n Y/ln - from a respected reporter to a WAG of Toto Wolff" and many, many more.
- I see... - you could tell he wasn't exactly enjoying this type of attention, but you couldn't do anything about it right now.
- I'm sorry, I could have planned it better... - you mumbled quietly and put your head back on his shoulder.
- It's not your fault, Schatzi. - he squeezed your body a little bit tighter and placed a soft kiss on your temple. - I just wasn't expecting it to blow up to this degree. But we'll get through it together. - you could hear a smile in his voice. - So. Laura? - he circled back.
- Yes, Laura. She'll be tough, but if we ask her to avoid specific topics, she will. And that reminds me... Our families. - you sighed. Because you were so caught up in the heat of the moment, and then the race, that you didn't fully grasp the number of things you haven't thought about. - My mother is one thing and I will deal with her, but your kids... At the party, you told them you were going to call them back. - you reminded him, because you weren't exactly sure how much of last night he remembered, and his son called him rather late.
- Thank you, I'll do that when we land. I would also like you to officially meet them sooner rather than later if that's ok with you. - you weighed his words for a short moment in your head, considering if Toto having some time alone with them first wouldn't be better, just to let all the possible emotions out, and answer all the questions without an outsider present, but on the other hand they could read it as him trying to hide you from them.
- Of course. Let me know when, and I'll make the time. - from what Toto told you about them, it shouldn't be that hard, and you hoped that seeing with their own eyes exactly how much you loved their father would help, although you felt like you were starting from a weak position. Fortunately, Toto already told them that he was seeing someone around half a year ago, but he hasn't told them specifically who. So, finding out from social media or worse - their friends might have been hard.
Even though his face was donning a gentle smile, it wasn't hard for you to notice that he was in a sour mood, but you also knew it was temporary. He liked to have everything covered, and the whiplash of your announcement wasn't something he predicted. And you were no better because even though you knew people would be interested, you would have never thought that it would be such a giant sensation.
- We have a lot of fires to put out. - you chuckled quietly and closed your eyes again. - I'll call Laura when we'll land and hash out the details, but if we don't want to wait till next week, we should be ready to do this on Wednesday. - you put your hand over his heart just to feel it beat under your fingers.
- What about the guests she's supposed to have? - you could feel the vibrations of his voice under your hand even through the material of his shirt.
- Let me worry about that, Dashuria Ime, you already have enough on your plate. - you replied, rubbing your cheek on his shoulder and it was his time to laugh, unintentionally grabbing the attention of the rest of the plane, but seeing you two cozied up and clearly talking about something, they didn't interrupt. Although you suspected that they would start listening closer to what you were saying, and they were in for a treat. - I was also thinking about our conversation from Friday... - you started quietly, and you could feel him perk up under you.
- And...? - he asked after your intentional pause.
- And considering the race schedule and the fact that most drivers will stay in the UK, I'd like to start the company and recordings as soon as possible... - his shoulders slumped just a tiny bit, but the smile on your face didn't go away. You knew he was expecting to hear something else, so you stalled on purpose just to tease him. - And to start the recordings, I'm gonna need a studio. And to have a studio...? - you left the end of the sentence hanging in the air and Toto laughed out loud again.
- You will need to move out...? - he finished for you, even though he didn't have to, and you could almost hear the others getting quieter, sensing something interesting, almost like piranhas. Although they were significantly less bloodthirsty.
- I will need to move out. - you confirmed, and the others were no longer pretending to talk, now openly listening to your conversation, and you didn't even have to open your eyes to know that.
- So I'm guessing that... How did you say it...? "I'm not just gonna move all my stuff in one day"... - he imitated your accent surprisingly well, and you couldn't hold the laughter. - ...was a lie? -
- Wait, are you guys moving in together? - Lewis was the first one to jump on the topic and the excitement in his voice was very clear.
- It looks like it... - you finally opened your eyes again and rested them on Lewis’s bright smile.
- Congratulations! - he immediately wanted to get up to get closer to the both of you, and ask more questions, but this was the moment when turbulences hit, and just as he was standing up, he fell back into his chair, and the whole plane's attention was on him. Partially to make sure that he was ok, but mostly because he made a funny sound when he fell over, and now everyone was either openly laughing or trying to hide the giggle. - Hey! Not my fault! Anyways, what do you guys want as a housewarming gift?
- Some damn peace and quiet would be nice... - Toto mumbled loud enough that everyone could hear him, still a little bit hung up on the whole media hurricane.
- We'll worry about that on the ground. Let's just have a few more moments without that, hmmm? - your voice was soft, and he couldn't help but agree; there was nothing either of you could do right now, and your hand gently placed over his heart made him take a deep breath and then let it out, which you instantly recognized as him banishing the thought from his head. - And, Lewis, we don't need anything, but the thought is appreciated, thank you. - you smiled at the driver, and he just nodded in response, but you had a sneaky suspicion that one day there will be a package waiting for you on the doorstep.
- By the way, we were talking with Valtteri about something... - he started, and you looked at the Fin, not even trying to hide the curiosity. - ...how we, as drivers, could help you guys with the media. And I had a rather radical idea, so I wanted to run it by you before implementing it. - you nodded your head, urging him to continue. - Because as you said, there is no way you'll be left alone for a while, and there is a high chance that we will be asked about the two of you as well. So, I thought that we could just... Thank them for the interview, end it, and walk away without saying anything more. - he explained, and you couldn't help but wonder when exactly they found the time to discuss it between the party, sleep, and all the hecticness of the morning.
- This way it'll send a clear message that we're sticking together as a family. - Valtteri added and you took a moment to contemplate their words. You looked up at Toto, trying to gauge what he thought about it, and he didn't have to say a word for you to know how he felt.
- As much as I love the idea, I think it should be run first by your PR team. There might be a clause somewhere that you're obligated to do a certain amount of media time, during race week. - you started carefully. Now, that you realized what a clusterfuck this whole situation was, you thought about everything in a much more professional and calculated way. - Plus, I wouldn't want you to face additional heat because of us.
- Neither of us would. - Toto echoed, and you could hear a smile in his voice.
- I don't think we... care about that...? - Lewis looked at Valtteri with a question in his eyes as if he wasn't sure.
- No. - Fin added with a smile - And we want to take the stand. - it wasn't rare to see them agreeing on something, but it still felt nice - knowing that they had your back even though they found out just a couple of days ago.
- Yeah, because the longer it goes, the longer all of us will have to deal with it. And it's just not right... - you couldn't help but sigh at his words, because he was 100% right. - But of course, as you said, we will run it by PR first.
- Thank you, guys... And I really appreciate it. It means a lot. - you gave them both a gentle smile. - And we will do an official interview, so hopefully, it will satisfy the public at least a little.
- Oh, you're doing one? When? - Lewis was much more interested in that than Valtteri, who went back to reading his book.
- We're still a little bit fuzzy on the details, but if it goes our way - Wednesday. - you answered, but before Lewis managed to ask more questions about it, the pilot said over the intercom that you'll be landing soon, and everyone should take their seats and fasten their belts. Before you got up, you wanted to place a quick kiss on Toto's cheek, but he turned his head and intercepted your lips with a cheeky grin.
Eventually, you were back in your chair, and it wasn't long before you were steady on the ground. It was the first time you flew on the private jet, so you weren't exactly sure what was the customs procedure, however, you definitely weren't expecting an officer to board the plane and process you right then and there, but you were grateful for not having to deal with the crowds of the airport.
Before Toto even started the car, you gently touched his shoulder and mouthed silently "Your Kids" while you waited for Laura to answer. He smiled as a thank you and left the car to call his children and explain everything in more detail, while you went off at the speed of light as soon as your best friend picked up the phone, explaining your plan and overall situation, at the same time confirming that she will have exclusivity on the interview. You knew that appearing on Laura's show was coming with risks and exposing you and Toto to an even wider audience was one of them, but it was a risk you were willing to take. You quickly bounced the ideas for the placement, set, wardrobe, and everything else, and because you knew each other so well, something that usually took at least a few days and a bunch of emails, took you around 15 minutes.
Toto was still outside, talking with his children, so you also shot a message to the other potential interviewers, thanking them for being willing to take that opportunity and rescinding your offer. You also quickly realized there was not a chance in hell you would be able to handle everything by yourself during the next week, so you took two deep breaths and started compartmentalizing and finding possible opportunities to delegate.
First - you shot a message to Mellie, asking if she could talk, and almost instantly after you click "send", she was calling you back, which didn't even surprise you.
- Hey Mells, are you free this week? - you asked, without even exchanging pleasantries, because in the type of friendship you had, they were simply not needed.
- Do you really have to ask, hun? - her laugh sounded like delicate chimes. You could almost imagine her lounging next to her pool while a professional chef was somewhere in the background preparing breakfast.
- I know, I know, but I wouldn’t be myself if I didn't ask. - you chuckled. - So, I'm gonna need someone to oversee the renovation of my apartment into a recording studio, and since you are elbows deep in real estate and you know my taste pretty well... - you didn't even have to finish.
- Say no more! I was bored anyway. What's the timeline? - she asked with pure excitement in her voice. You knew she liked to help her friends and had both the means and the time to do so, but you still felt a little bit bad asking her for such a huge endeavor.
- If we'll pack and move everything tonight, you could start tomorrow. Do you think you'll be able to finish by the end of the week? - you asked.
- Honey, with the right equipment I can finish in less than two minutes. - she laughed and you couldn't help but chuckle. - But in all seriousness, if I'll be able to get the crew there tomorrow, everything should be ready on Friday. - it was much sooner than you expected, but you also knew she had her tricks.
- Even if I wanted to build a wall separating my current office upstairs from the downstairs? Because I would like to put the recording studio there. - you made sure.
- That won't be a problem. It will be enough time for the wall to dry, so you're good. I'm gonna prepare a few sketches before we'll meet in the afternoon, ok? - you could almost hear gears shifting in her head.
- Ok, but just to be quick. Guest bedroom into a quiet place to recharge, my bedroom into an office that can be quickly turned into a conference room. The kitchen and bathrooms stay as they are, but you can of course make changes, I'm leaving it up to you. And the salon should be an office space with 8 working stations. Oh, and that closet next to the terrace into an equipment closet. Just please don't treat the budget as a light suggestion... - you quickly explained. Fortunately, Mellie was at your place enough times to know the layout pretty well.
- The wardrobe on the left to the entry stays as a wardrobe, I assume. And you want to leave two full bathrooms with no one living there? - she asked, already making mental notes.
- Yeah, it stays, and the bathrooms... I mean, I'm not sure about the smaller one, but overall, I plan on having 11 or 12 people hired, so at least two toilets would be nice. I mean, some of them could definitely work remotely on a daily basis, but one bathroom definitely won't be enough. - you said after taking a few seconds to think.
- I can renovate the bigger one, get rid of the bathtub, add a wall or two, and fit two stalls there. And leave the one with the shower as it is. - she offered.
- That actually... sounds amazing. Thank you, Mellie. - you were grateful for the suggestion because you haven't even considered doing something like that.
- You got it. Anything else you have in mind? - she inquired, and you went through your mental list.
- No, not really. I trust you. - you eventually replied.
- Ok, then I'm hanging up and scheduling the crew for tomorrow at noon. Love you, Boo. - she made a kissing sound over the phone, and you laughed.
- Thanks again, Mells. - she was the one who hung up, and you took another deep breath, deciding what to prioritize next, but just as you were about to make another call, you saw a message from Laura, sent from her business email, which meant it was an official BBC business. The message included a very lenient but still long contract, and you didn't have the time to go through every point, but just as you were about to ask Toto if you could steal Mark again, you got a private message from Laura.
"I've fought for it, it's good, but you can still run it by your lawyer. Both of you can sign it before the photo shoot."
And a few seconds later you got another email from her, this time containing the exact schedule for Wednesday, and extensive details about the photoshoot that - if you agreed - would take place in about two hours. Laura also compiled a file with the names of the photographer, stylist, make-up artist, and hair stylist, their previous works, and a few proposals of what they had in mind for you and Toto. Sometimes you forgot how quickly your best friend could work, and how detail-oriented she was, for which right now, you were extremely grateful. You could see that she definitely included herself in every part of the process, judging by what options were prepared for you.
Just as you were about to look closer at the proposed wardrobe, Toto came back to the car and gave you a quick kiss on the cheek.
- Everything went ok...? - you asked, still scrolling through the file. Usually, he had your full attention, but right now, there was no time.
- Yes. As it turns out, you are Rosie's favorite reporter on the grid, so you helped me score some points back, because she - indeed - found out from one of her friends. But they both can't wait to meet you in person. - he gave you a warm smile when you quickly glanced up from your phone. - And how are things on the battlefront? - he asked as he started the car.
- Hectic. The interview will be live on Wednesday at 21:00, but we will have to be there at 19:00. I already have the contracts, and Laura assured me that they're good, and I trust her, but we can still run them by a lawyer. - you looked at Toto with a question in your eyes.
- Forward them to Mark and add P1 before the title. That way he will look at them immediately. - he smiled, and you quickly did what he asked, while you were slowly rolling out of the parking lot.
- BBC also wants to do a quick photoshoot for promotional materials, because right now they have nothing to run an announcement with. - you added, sparing him all the specific details. - In the main studio at 11 if we agree of course.
- Wow, you are really quick, Schatzi. - he chuckled. - And the sooner we get it over with, the better.
- That was actually Laura. But we have about an hour to freshen up in my apartment before we go. - You quickly replied to the second email that the photo shoot is a go.
- A lot can be done in one hour... - he said in a teasing voice, but he immediately realized, that you had other plans, so he dropped the topic. What was happening right now, was your domain, and he intended to put his full trust in you. - Is there any way I could help? - he asked sincerely.
- Actually... Could I borrow Mark for a few days? I will need help with registering a new company, trademarks, and the first few contracts. Just until I find my own lawyer who I could trust. - you asked, with your eyes still glued to your phone. - And do you want to choose your clothes and hairstyle for the interview?
- Of course, you can. I have him on retainer, and I never used his full hours. And – just an idea - you can stay with his company, I'm sure he will find someone who will suit your future needs. But for now, I will let him know that he should expect a bigger workload from you. - you were extremely grateful for that because everything was happening so fast. You landed in England not even an hour ago, and you already had your next few days fully packed. - You have a much better sense of fashion than me, Schatzi, so I’m leaving it up to you... - he answered the second question, and gently placed his hand on your thigh, seeking the physical touch that brought both of you comfort. You quickly chose the hair, make-up, and clothes for the photo shoot, sent it in the reply to Laura's email, and took another deep breath, holding it for a few seconds in your lungs. So many things were happening at the same time, and you had to keep yourself in check because if you didn't, you would be crushed under the weight of all the decisions. And after analyzing everything, you came to the obvious conclusion - you needed more help if you wanted everything to be done on time, but that had to wait a moment because you just arrived at your apartment.
Toto took both his travel bag and your suitcase from the car and carried them into the building, while you wrapped your hand around his waist and hid under the pleasant weight of his arm, where - at least for a moment - the outside world couldn't reach you.
You didn't have to tell him where anything was, because by now he was here enough times to get familiar with not only the layout, but also with where you kept the extra bag of flour in the kitchen, or in which drawer you kept your fresh linen.
- I'm going to take a shower and make breakfast... You do you. - he stated, anticipating that you will be much busier during that hour than he will be. He was right, of course, and you were extremely grateful that he was willing to help.
- Thank you... - you gave him a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek before he brought your bags to the bedroom. While he was under the shower, you started scrolling through your contact list, searching for potential future employees. You needed trusted people, people who you worked with in the past and you knew from experience that you worked well together. So, when you spotted a familiar name almost on the top of your list, you immediately dialed her.
- Hey Lynn. It's Y/n Y/ln. - you introduced yourself because you weren't sure if she still had your number. - You were interning under me around a year ago when I was interviewing David Coulthard and you helped me with some research.
- Yes, of course, I remember. It's good to hear from you. - a soft, soothing voice replied, and you could almost hear the smile in it.
- I'm calling to offer you a job... - you started bluntly because you didn't have time to dance around the topic. - For one month as my assistant, and after that - as a full-time researcher, mostly into things related to F1. - you took a quick breath - I'm not gonna lie, the first month would be brutal, but I promise not to bother you outside of working hours. Starting pay is 3k, but it will be changed as your title will change, to reflect your new position. Insurance, private medical care with dental, and all that legal shabang will, of course, be covered. For the first month, I would need you with me in London, but after that - the job can be performed remotely, and the equipment will be provided. - you quickly hashed out the details. You didn't have everything mentioned lined up yet, but you thought about it a lot yesterday, and you knew you wanted to be a good employer, and from experience, you also knew what most people needed from a job to stay happy and loyal, and that's what you were aiming for.
- What's the catch? - she asked in that smooth tone.
- You would have to start tomorrow. And like I've said - the first month will be brutal. - you replied, slowly suspecting which way she was leaning, but you still gave her a few more moments to analyze the pros and cons.
- Since your departure from the Network was rather public, I assume it would be for some other project? - she quickly deduced.
- Yes. I'm starting my own company, and I'm piecing together a crew for it. It will focus on long and extensive interviews. First with current drivers, and if it will catch some winder under its wings - hopefully we will expand. - you replied.
- Independently or for a streaming service? - she dug a little bit deeper, and you couldn't help but admire just how quickly she was able to connect the dots.
- Fully independent.
- I'm in. - she replied as soon as you finished saying the last word.
- That's awesome! Thank you. I will send you the contract either today evening or tomorrow morning. And if I'll know that I won't be able to send it to you today, I will let you know so you won't be pointlessly waiting for it. But for now - do you have any more questions? - your heart honestly felt lighter than just an hour ago.
- What time do I start tomorrow? And where do we meet? - you couldn't help but laugh with relief.
- 9 AM. But you can start from your own apartment. I'm gonna need you to compile a list of external HR companies that also handle accounting, with the best independent reviews, not that bullshit point system from the most popular websites. I want someone legit who won't take bullshit. And since I already know you're good at what you do, the top 3 would be enough. And if you will have enough time after that - I will also need a company that offers both web and graphic design services, with a focus on quality and time; budget right now doesn't matter. - you explained and just as you finished, you felt your phone vibrating with yet another notification.
- HR. Web and Graphic Design. - she repeated.
- I know you're already confirmed, but I'm gonna ask once more. Are you sure you want this job? - you asked because yet again - you got this feeling that everything was happening with the speed of light.
- I'm sure. To be honest, I've somehow landed in a stereotypical corpo-job, so I'm taking your offer as a sign to stop slaving away. - she laughed, and you joined her. - Plus, I know you keep your promises, and you wouldn’t be asking if it wasn’t serious.
- And you won't have any problems with resigning on the spot? - you made sure.
- Not with the contract I have with them. - she soothed your worries.
- Ok then. I'll speak to you tomorrow. Oh, and send me your personal details, including the current address for the contract and the courier. I'll try to get a new phone and computer to you by tomorrow, and if you have any preferences for your set-up, please include that in your message. I honestly want you to be as satisfied with everything as possible.
- Do I have a set budget? - she asked quickly before you managed to hang up, and you had to think about it for a moment.
- Don't make me regret it, but... no. Just be sensible and don't order something with i9. - you both laughed again. - Thank you, Lynn.
- You got it, boss. - she laughed and ended the call. You quickly checked the notification that came during your conversation. It was an email from Mark giving you a green light to sign the contract with BBC and asking how you managed to negotiate such terms. You quickly replied and asked if it would be possible to talk over the phone. And yet again today - he was calling you almost as soon as you send the message.
- Hi Mark, I hope I'm not interrupting you too much.
- Hey Y/n. Not at all, I cleared my whole week for you, per Toto's request. - you made a mental note to thank your wonderful partner for helping you so much. - From what I understood, you will need help with registering your company and you would also like to find our own lawyer, is that correct? - he was godsent. And someone definitely was watching over you, because considering how hectic everything was, it was impressive that - at least for now - everything went so smoothly.
- That's right. I will also need help with drafting t first few employee contracts. - you added, as you got up from the couch and started walking around the apartment to focus better on the conversation.
- That's understandable. I assume Ltd? - he inquired.
- Yes. How long does it usually take?
- I will send you a form to fill out and a list of documents you will need to provide. If you'll be able to send it back to me before noon, the company will be registered by the end of today. - his voice was confident.
- You're joking... - you couldn't believe it.
- I assure you, I am not. It usually takes 3 to 5 hours to fully register and process a new Ltd. - he replied, and you were stunned because suddenly everything started to feel a little bit too real. You took one deep breath to ground yourself and closed your eyes.
- Ok then. - you finally replied after a moment of silence.
- Would you mind if I asked you something?
- Ask away. - you chuckled and resumed your walk around the apartment, just as Toto was leaving the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his hips, and you couldn't help but smile.
- Do you already have someone in mind for your permanent HR position? - you stopped again because you weren't expecting that question.
- I have someone looking into external companies to hire from. Why...?
- If you wouldn't mind some good old nepotism, I would like to send you a CV of my daughter. She specializes in employment law and just got her undergrad degree in business management. She has 2 years of experience in a similar position in a tech startup. I can also include her references. - he stopped for a moment, and you honestly needed a minute to process what you heard. - Just a CV. And if you'll like what you see, you could set up a proper interview. I'm not trying to force anything here. - you took a moment to think as you resumed your walk around the apartment at a little bit faster pace.
- Can you send me her CV now? - you requested, because honestly - you wanted to ride that wave of green lights and squeeze as much good luck from today as you could.
- I'm asking her to send it to your email right now. You should have it in a few minutes. - you could hear him smiling on the other side of the line.
- Ok, I will get back to her before 10:30. - everything was going so smoothly, that you were honestly starting to get suspicious, because life was never that easy, and some part of your mind was waiting for the other shoe to drop. After that, you quickly went through the possible private medical packages, sports cards, and the terms of employment you would like to offer your employees, which included a small budget every month for self-improvement, which could be spent either on learning new skills or improving your mental health by relaxing. You also went through the terms of NDAs, and something that popped into your head when Lynn asked you about the equipment - a payment plan to buy it out from the company by deducting it in installments from the pension. By the time you ended the call, it was almost 10, and Toto finished making simple 3 ingredient crepes, which were his specialty, but you weren't done just yet.
You opened an email from Mark's daughter that included a letter of recommendation as well as her CV, and you recognized one of the companies she was working in around 3 years ago because one of Sammy's sisters worked there. So, you quickly called your friend.
- Hey Brocksby... Can you send me Lizzie's number? I have a quick question.
- I mean... I could... but I'm at home and we're eating breakfast, so... you know... I can just pass the phone to her. - you laughed.
- Thanks, Love... You have my gratitude. – you waited a moment until you heard a familiar voice. - Hi Lizzie, sorry to bother you with such a random question so early, but by any chance, do you know Charlotte Zane?
- Hey Y/n! Not a problem at all... And of course, I know One-Fear-Charlie. - she laughed.
- One-Fear-Charlie? - you inquired with a slight smile.
- Well, yeah. Do you know that meme in a form of a comic panel? The one with a guy in a t-shirt that says, "No Fear" and then it changes to "One Fear"? - she asked, and this time you laughed.
- Yeah, I know it.
- So, she was that one fear. - Lizzie explained further
- Was she that bad? - you already started working on a gentle way to reject her CV, but your friend’s sister continued.
- Not bad, just... Strict, I guess? I mean - she knew how to have fun, but when it came to work - everything had to be absolutely perfect and every scenario had to be included in writing, so when you got an email from her - you knew that something was missing from your work, and you basically fucked up. She wasn't a bitch about it though, and she was really patient with new people, but you know...
- She was really good at finding imperfections? - you offered before she found the right words.
- Yeah.
- Did you like working with her? And her as a person overall? - you asked, slowly erasing that speech to gently turn Charlotte down.
- I mean - like I've said - she wasn't a bitch, and always gave you the opportunity to correct your mistakes before someone higher got a chance to see them. She was strict but definitely fair... And personally...? We weren't super close, but she seemed ok. She mostly hung out with paralegals, not us in the bottom of the barrel, but she was always kind to us on breaks and stuff. She had a really dry sense of humor though... You know, cheesy dad jokes and wordplay. - she offered.
- Thank you so much, Lizzie. And sorry again for bothering you. Say goodbye to your brother from me.
- No problem. And take care, Y/n! - you quickly hung up and sighed.
- Eat. You have 20 minutes to take a shower and eat something before we have to leave. - Toto quickly intercepted your phone before you got the chance to do anything else with it and pushed a plate with crepes with plum jam under your nose.
- I need to reply to an email... - you groaned, but despite your words, you started eating.
- Dictate then. Just don't choke... - he smiled, and you chuckled as he placed a small kiss on the top of your head.
- In reply to Charlotte Zane - Could we meet today at 2 PM in Saint Luke's Garden? - you swallowed a bite as Toto typed on your phone. - My signature... - another bite. - …and in PS "Not an official interview, just a walk, so dress in whatever you feel comfortable in. Preferably no business attire. - you continued with a piece of a crepe in your mouth. - Add a smiley face and hit send. - he did as you asked.
- You have a message from Mellie asking if she should include computers in the budget. - you nodded in reply, and Toto passed that in a message form. - And another one from Laura, telling you not to wash your hair or wear any make-up because everything will be done on set. - you were almost inhaling your breakfast, so instead of speaking you just showed him a thumb up, and she sent said emoji in reply. You looked at the clock, took the rest of the crepe in your hand, and almost ran to the bathroom because you had less than 15 minutes.
After the shower, you quickly chose fresh clothes, but before you got dressed, you quickly started applying lotion to your body.
- Hey, could you open the last email from Mark, and download the attachment? - you yelled loud enough for Toto to hear you in the kitchen, or wherever he was. Instead of yelling back, he came into the bedroom and leaned on the doorframe. He was watching you as you finished moisturizing your skin, and you gave him a small smile when you caught him. - The attachment. What information is needed? - you asked, while you put on your underwear, but he didn't reply immediately, instead letting his gaze linger. Only when you looked at him for the second time, he unlocked your phone and started reading the form. Fortunately, most of the information you could provide from memory, or you could find it on your phone, so at least you didn't have to dig through your apartment in search of any documents, and you could fill out that form in the car.
You were ready exactly four minutes before 10:30, but before you left the apartment in a hurry, Toto gently grabbed you by the arms and stopped you from moving anywhere for a moment, and your gaze almost instinctively found his eyes.
- Breathe. Relax your shoulders. Unclench your jaw. Close your eyes... And for one minute just... breathe. - he said. You wanted to protest, because you had to leave, but his grip on your arms told you that it would be futile, so you did as he asked. With every slow breath, your racing mind started to slowly calm down. All the things that you had to do today were still there, but they were slowly stopping to fight for the place in front of the line.
After the full minute, Toto released your arms, but instead of running out of the apartment, you wrapped your arms around him, rested your face against his chest, and stayed like that for one moment longer.
It was easy to get lost when the pace of the day was so rapid, but you were fortunate to have someone who understood that and was able to help you find yourself again.
- Thank you... - you mumbled against his shirt, and he just pressed a soft kiss to your temple in reply. It was his time to be your rock, just as you were his yesterday. 
A/N 2: Please don’t feel obligated/pressured to reblog, because I write mostly for myself. A comment would be appreciated though :) Love, G.
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definitelynotshouting · 6 months ago
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So I just started playing In Stars and Time because I got curious about the sad little blorbo you occasionally post about and afshdjdkrn
I just. Wanna hug them. So badly 😭
Siffrin isat my everything my cinnamon fucking apple WKDNWKDNEKEKSK HE IS SOOOOO SQUISHABLE...... THEY NEED A HUG SO BAD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH
Incredibly pleased im helping spread the isat propaganda like the dev rlly just Made a whump fic in video game format huh....... for tumblr girlies by a tumblr girlie.... my gods we respect the grind as if i could EVER be normal abt that
I'll be so real ive already written little tidbits for a longer au oneshot i want to write in between chapters of hunger au, and the exercise in 2nd person pov is SO MUCH FUN im enjoying myself immensely :] here, a snippet for both fun and profit (and more fun):
"Siffrin...." Odile says, and it strikes a sour chord, a ripple of dissonance that screws rivets around your chest and tightens. She shouldn't have to say your name like that, with that kind of weight— as if all the Craft in the world isn't enough to carry it. Pure reflex ducks your chin into the collar of your cloak; you avert your gaze back to the rubble-littered floor of the tunnel, tracing dark crags in the stone where sputtering torchlight fails to reach. There you go again, stardust. Loop's voice is an ephemeral echo in your ears, a byproduct of months, years worth of past loops gone by. It isn't real. Gone and made yourself another person's problem. It isn't real. "— need you to start taking this more seriously." Odile bites out each word with the same deportment of a dog tearing off chunks of meat, clipped and cutting. Her brows knit together, mouth pulling down in a sharp curve; the lines around her eyes are tight, carved from the knife's edge of her own disappointment. Her disappointment in you. You almost miss the next sentence as well. "I have no way of helping you if you don't speak to me," she says. "And when you minimize these things you went through— you realize that's going back on your word, yes? Gems alive, Siffrin. We want to help." You speak before your mind has caught up with your mouth, hundreds of loops sanding down the words into something practiced, rote. "But there's nothing to help me w—" "Stop lying to me." Odile snaps, and your jaw shuts so fast you miss biting your tongue by a mere hair's-breadth. Your lungs threaten to buckle— inhale. Exhale. Come on, stardust, Loop's imaginary voice sneers, can't you do something as simple as breathe? Or are you just that blinding useless? ... Shut up. Odile's eyes slip shut. She raises a hand to meet them, kneading at the soft skin between her brows. "I'm... sorry, Siffrin," she says, halting, stilted. "I shouldn't— that wasn't productive. I apologize." Tentatively, you say: "You don't have to." "Yes, I do." Odile straightens once again, tucking a strand of sweat-slicked hair back behind her ear with a grimace. "It's not... conversations like these are... hard. Yelling is pointless for both of us. I'm sorry." "But you didn't—" "Siffrin," she says, and this time the syllables of your name twist, a rise and fall that cracks wryly in the middle. One sharp eyebrow arches up into the canopy of her hairline. "You're supposed to say you accept the apology." You stare. She stares right back. Oh. She's serious. "I..." you look down. "Um. Accept?" "Excellent," Odile says brusquely, and bends to peer at an invisible speck of dirt clinging to her forearm. She brushes at it with absent, studious flicks, the epitome of single-minded focus. "Then now we can move on with our lives."
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syunkiss · 1 year ago
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Hi, we are the TWU sys! TWU stands for "The Wine Uncles."
We stand with Palestine! Palestine WILL be free! 🇵🇸
last update: 05.08.2024 (DAY/MONTH/YEAR)
Please read the informations below before proceeding to scroll :)
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"Making such a mess, It's getting permanently painted in my head, and there's no going back. So love me like I'm dead until there's nothing left and watch me decompose, till I'm skin and bones, vulnerable ..." /lyr
system moodboards: #system moodboard
host rentry ::: click here
strawpage ::: click here ( strawpage shit 1 )
ship blocklist ::: click here
hello! we are your favorite weird tbmc system
anons are turned off for our own comfort
neurodivergent • heavy fictive !!
> frequent fronters are Chuuya {🍷} , Charlie {🐧} and Rimbaud {☁️} <
☆ lgbtqia+ . . agere caregiver n little . petre pet and caretaker . ☆
<3
we love drawing, writing stories/AUs and our major hyperfocus is bungo stray dogs and malice mizer !!
chuu's babbles are usually under the tag #🍷.txt
"Mama, there's a war outside, can I go play with it?" /lyr
IMPORTANT 🌡but if you prefer something more simplified, click here :3
dni: well, follow the basic dni criteria. proshippers >>i dont care if its fictional characters . i dislike incest and pedophilia and whatever like a normal person and idc if theyre fictional or if theyre real .<< (principally odazai or morizai shippers get the fuck out of here.), radqueers/transmed, MAPs, NOMAPS (basically pedos who dont want to touch childs), anti-antis, "transDID/transOSDD" whatever, pro-ana/pro-sh, lolish0/sh0tacon, xenosatanists and all those shit.
yes I am an anti but i am not harassing anyone . im just blocking yall . im not directly harassing anyone and if i ever did it just tell me ! im not wasting my time and going to yalls askbox just to send things i am just blocking and moving on.
we support pro-recovery and anti-contact paraphiles . this shit different yk.
also dni if you follow/support angie (softdrinksalesman on yt) or support/defend ezra (odballs creator, pedo + zoo and more)
Its ok but meh: gore/nsfw accs
We are mogai and antishipper (as said before, anti-harassment. just block and move on.), multishipper and rareshipper. selfshippers are also very welcome here :) (proship/comship/darkship block us and go away)
(Also, we don't mind sh/ed vent blogs interacting. Unless you're pro-ed , anti-recovery or those things.)
We don't mind jokes or lines with sexual connotations but please don't overdo it. || we have littles in our system so please be respectful towards them if they post something (it'll be tagged) . :)
i am also very anxious and easily triggered by specific things so dont mind if I post vents here sometimes. its our safe space. however block the tag "vent" if youre uncomfortable w it.
• be careful ahead: monsters awaits /silly
- your local host is Chuuya! ☆
chuu's sfw blog (inactive) : @vampoth-baby
arts blog: @slugidiot
Rp blogs : @lippythepup (inactive) @corpse-to-ability @cafe-uzumaki @stoicsleuth @sora-s-conscious @wimpiest-in-the-east @aka-s-sheep @violence-services @pawn-of-cash @breathless-bomb @my-wishful-purpose
blogs run by some other members of our system: @cnidaerio @odasd @rimbadance
we also run @bungo-agere-dogs and @your-fav-loves-selfship :)
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old usernames: @ hartedfearsys
tags to block : # vent # tw # angry rant
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theamityelf · 7 months ago
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I’m not sure if your still writing stuff abt you danganronpa zombies au but if you are can we get more on junko??? I’m just wondering how her personality and plans translate to her zombie self
Im also wondering about Mukuro??? I’m not sure if you’ve mentioned her yet but her being a zombie interacting w her strange obsessive behavior w junko would be interesting
Sorry if this is incoherent but I’ve been thinking abt it for the last couple days lol
First of all, I am open to asks for every AU always! Lol.
For Junko, I'd say that her ability to plot things out is largely intact. Her ability to reason through the consequences of different actions in advance is not as sophisticated as it was before, but it's still really impressive for being undead. She's a lot more lucid than the others, but that said, I don't currently think she has an overarching ambition in this AU.
For one thing, just being undead is such an acute taste of entropy that she no longer feels so bored and dissatisfied all the time. So much about her body and mind are new, she subsists on murdering people, and just so much is wrong that, like Nagito, I think this might lowkey be kind of the best timeline for her.
Hope's Peak created this virus. Hope's Peak created this despair. Her point about despair is pretty much already vindicated, and she knows this won't stay contained. Her need to self-aggrandize is subsumed (at least for now) by her fascination with her new self; her need to spread despair is satiated by just the absolutely miserable situation of the Reserve Course and the pretty much guaranteed upcoming escalation when the undead breach containment; any urge she feels to be destructive and contrarian can easily be expressed by leaving the classroom and trying to eat someone before Makoto finds her; and all the while, she's experiencing the friendship and comradery with her classmates that she enjoys.
Makoto is taking care of her, and she genuinely likes that a lot. She loves getting her hair brushed, and the strained look on his face when he wipes blood from her mouth, and the quick reflexes he's developed to avoid her attempts to bite him. Between that and the occasional video calls from Yasuke, she's feeling pretty great.
I'm not saying Junko will never act mastermind-y in this AU; just that, for some length of time, she is satiated by the status quo. I think, if she does manifest a deeper goal than just enjoying herself, the first new goal she might pursue is that of making Makoto realize how Hope's Peak is using him and what Nagito has been up to. She would want Makoto to know what the Reserve Course's real role here is, and that it's not really accidental.
Now, Mukuro! I mentioned her briefly in this post and some others, but you're right that she hasn't really had focus. Mukuro's dexterity and fine motor skills are among the highest, of the undead, in that she can still hold and wield weapons.
She's still fiercely protective whenever Junko is under threat, but other than that she operates as a normal social presence in the class, just because my own headcanons (anime notwithstanding, lol) have her and Junko act like their relationship is normal, at school. Unlike Junko, Mukuro's grasp of consequences and general human behavior is greatly decreased. Her combat intelligence, as in fighting and battle strategy, remains, but her human intelligence is severely impacted.
Like in the hyperlinked post, she complies when Makoto takes her weapons away, but she doesn't understand that he doesn't want her to have weapons. When he tries to tell her, she just stares uncomprehendingly. She likes his face and his smell and how gently he handles them.
I'm picturing Mukuro curling up with Junko to sleep and Junko continually pushing or kicking her away, with groggy little movements, and Mukuro just casually crawls back, until they both fall asleep about a yard away from each other with Junko's foot against Mukuro's stomach.
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yuncheoligans · 1 year ago
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Red
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Club Owner Jongho x Reader
Jongho gets fucked over in a new deal....he needs to relieve some stress.
genre: smut, NSFW
rating: 18+ (MDNI...seriously.) M
warnings: ? Hopefully nothing bad, but obviously smut, unprotected (wrap it up y'all), slight praise kink, slight sir kink, petnames (darling, sir), manhandling, voyeurism, exhibitionism, breeding kink, creampie, and language. LET ME KNOW IF I MISSED SOMETHING!!
w/c:1656
Tags: @ssaboala , @cromernet
a/n: This is like the first smut I wrote, changed who I was writing for and then abandoned and then came back to so I'm so nervous to post it haha. Let me know what you think.
Masterlist
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There was only ever one downfall to your job.
The night belonged to the underworld, the gangs, criminals on the run, dealers, the undercover cops, and the workers who could make their living off dancing for the men and heathens of this city. That’s where you stayed, in your little (big) club run by the most notorious gang in the city, hand-picked by your bosses off the street when you were struggling to get by in this godforsaken town. You only had one catch, a few months into the job one of your new bosses became somewhat enamored, he’d come visit you every night, make sure the club was still treating you right. It started off as a large tip for an hour of your time in the VIP Lounge, first just an hour, then all night, and what started as talking under the harsh neon lights soon became something you looked forward to each shift. They made your schedule, they knew when you would be here…HE…knew when you’d be there. Soon you became a personal plaything to him, always pulled away from the stage to entertain the boss, not that you mind, they pay you handsomely to do exactly as you’re told. And you’d do anything the man in front of you told you.
By day he played mechanic, he and his so called brother, they played it well, sometimes the slight hint of grease to present on his skin, that was when you knew he was desperate, he always liked to dress up for your time together….before it inevitably came off. He chose what you’d wear, sending gifts to the apartment the club had set up for you, you’d get a text “Wear this tonight.” it would say. Not an ounce of affection through the cold text. But then his personal number would come through “I can’t wait to see you darling.” You couldn’t either. Two days is too long without him. Normally he texts you throughout the day, letting you know how it’s going when he’ll get to the club, how long he’ll be there, what he’s bringing you as a gift. Not today. It can mean one of two things, he’s spontaneously perished….or….he’s having a bad day. Judging from the outfit change he just sent you…it has been a very bad day indeed.
When you arrived at the club the rain had just picked up, the back door bouncer had rushed over to help escort you inside without getting wet, the large umbrella adorning his hands. “Our VIP has already arrived y/n. You’re late.” the manager came over. Strange he shouldn’t have been here for another hour. Must be a very bad day indeed. “I’m coming once my coat is off.” you looked at the small man while taking your things off. “Don’t forget the decanter and glasses this time, ice is already up there.” “So you brought him ice but no drink? A shame, no wonder he’s in quite the mood today.” you shrug grabbing what you need before making your way to the bar to find you final things set out for you.
As you make you way up the red carpeted stairs, your heels pushing you upwards, the red lace adorning your body, you can’t help the small shiver of worry and excitement that courses through you. You reach the door to the room that overlooks the club. One you’ve reached for many times, and one that always leaves you feeling so important.
“Jongho.” you breathed out upon seeing the man on the loveseat in the room. “Darling, there you are….you’re late.” he said looking up at you from his phone unamused. “I’m terribly sorry sir.” you grabbed the glass some ice and his favorite whisky to hand to him. “Do you like? You picked it out for me.” you asked twirling slowly for him as to show off the red lace lingerie, the straps forming over the cups in a plush subtle velvet, the high thong with a design to show off your ass….ets, the belt with a heart in the middle…his favorite. “Even down to the shoes, you’re my favorite doll.” he sipped his whisky a small smile befalling his lips. “You were quite silent today, did you have a bad day sir?” “Just business matters nothing to worry your head with.” he stood up his aura towering over you. Your panties sticking closer than before. His presence now making its way behind you as he wrapped you in his arms. “Let me help you relax then? After all I’d hate for your day to be entirely ruined.” you turned to face him, the ribbon choker you’d tied in a bow for him catching his eye. “Unwrap my present?” he smirked and leaned in his breath fanning over your face. “You always do look best in red Darling.”
Red lipstick smeared on both your faces as he roughly pushes you down on the couch, his frustrations of the day getting the better of him finally. He’ll show them. He’ll show all of them. “Good girl, always so ready and wet for me.” he pulls your hips up as he leans down. “Practically dripping and ruining our favorite couch. What am I supposed to do then? Hmm?” he licked a bold stripe up your slit groaning at the way you jolted. He loved the little whimpers you made. “My favorite little plaything, all worked up? Tell me who’s got you this way.” he growled. “Y-y-ou.” you whimpered against him. “Who?” he questioned again his thumb starting slow circles on your clit. “Y-you J-Jongh…sir.” you moaned as his speed increased. “Look at you, makeup smeared already…moaning, and bucking.” he groaned continuing his ministrations on you, leaving you desperate for more. His tongue found his way back to you as he worked you ever so close to what your body is aching for. He pulled away before shoving two of his fingers in you harshly curling and pumping them ever so slightly. “Cumming so soon Darling?” he rasped in your ear. “Y-Yes.” you moaned, hips bucking. “Uh uh, you know the rules….” he slowed the pace down, frustrating you further as the orgasm you had been so close to now slipped away. “O-Only on your cock, sir.” you tried to grind back into his hand only to be met with a harsh slap which left you begging for more. “P-Please sir, u-use me.” “I plan on it darling.” he groaned before removing his fingers harshly and giving you another spank on the opposite cheek. “Stay put. I didn’t say you could move.” he forced your shoulders down again before dragging his thick cock through your folds. “So fucking wet.” he growled again sinking in, your body pulling him in tighter. “And so fucking tight. You can’t seem to get enough can you?” “N-No sir, never enough.” you let out a harsh moan as he snapped his hips all the way forward. His hand came to the back of your neck pushing you further into the couch as he rammed his hips into yours, the sounds of skin slapping apparent. Your moans became muffled by the cushions but with each snap you grew louder and louder. Even with you moaning below him, his favorite sight he couldn’t get that stupid fucking deal out of his head. He’ll show them respect, who really owns who here.
He picked you up and walked you over to the balcony the room had that overlooked the club. He was going to show everyone just how good he was at his job, that he had you, he owned you. You grabbed onto the railing as one of his hands made it’s way up to your throat and the other stayed on your hip. “You like that hmm? Like knowing the whole club can see you getting fucked up here if they just would look up? Like knowing you’re above them because I’m the one fucking you darling?” “Y-Yes!” you clenched around him once more your orgasm building. He squeezed on your throat constricting your airways sending your mind and subsequently your body reeling as your orgasm crashed through you leaving you moaning and dripping onto the floor of the balcony. That’s it, that’ll show them, show everyone….he’s in charge. He’s the boss here, what he says goes. Teach them to fuck him over in the deal. “There’s a good girl.” he praised as his hips sped up again, the overstimulation already overwhelming…you couldn’t possibly cum again that quickly. Fuck it felt so good, like putty in his hands. He fucked you though another orgasm, hips unrelenting as he pulled you back in, two was quite enough for the show if anyone was watching. After what felt like an eternity his hips stuttered as his spilled into you, the heavy load filling you to the brim. “Show me.” he commanded as you spread your legs and felt it drip out of you. “So good for me darling.” he kissed your crown before getting up to grab a cloth to clean you up.
Your legs are left shaking, your body feel like it’s been put on vibrate, but that sweet tone of his voice, that truly brings you back. You see him press a few buttons on his phone before tossing it back to the side and coming back to you. “Thank you sir.” you smiled weakly, exhaustion hitting you. “It’s Jongho. You don’t have to keep going.” he smiled and met your lips in a loving way. “Rest now darling.” he moved your messy hair back and began to hum lightly to you. His voice soothing you to sleep. “Goodnight Jongho.” you curled into him, the low bass thrumming through the floor, you’d be out for maybe an hour max, continuing what you started.
There was only ever one downfall to your job.
You were in love with your boss.
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wonuwrites · 5 months ago
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"A House In Nebraska" ot13 Song Reaction
Before we start: Warning: this song is heavy and talks about really heavy topics and even mentions about Suicidal thoughts. Personally, I, @wonuwrites don't like writing about suicide or suicidal thoughts because it is a very triggering subject for so many people (myself included.) I will mention the suicide part in this reaction. Having said that, PLEASE do not read this reaction if it will affect you in a negative way. You are WAY more important than a fanfiction on this silly website. if you ever need to talk, please message me.
Just wanted to put this warning before we started because I felt it was important.
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requested from this anon x
Warning/author's note : This will be a lot more heavier than things I usually write. (pls send me pet pictures or fluffy wonwoo drabbles) This will be post-apocalyptic themed with hints of the song "A House In Nebraska" by Ethel Cain. There will be talks of suicide like I mentioned above, also death, dread, trauma, and so many other things. I will write happier drabbles and things after this so please once again if this is too heavy please skip. I love you all and want everyone to be safe. I know I say this often but please if you are a minor- DO NOT INTERACT. Also this took so long for me to write because it was rough to write. I had to make sure I was mentally okay <3
Just like all my song preferences before: members parts will be in order of the song lyrics.
Let the angst begin <3
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Scene:
Everything was normal for a year until some governments were a little bored and decided to do experiments on their inmates of the respected countries. Some of these experiments went a little haywire and caused a pandemic. The pandemic caused a very contagious disease that made 2020's COVID-19 look like child's play. The disease made people lose their minds and the only way to cure it was to put them down. Many people compared it to be a modern day zombie apocalypse except for zombies it was homicidal psychopaths. When the pandemic first happened, you and your boyfriend (member of Seventeen) took refuge in a House in Nebraska, USA. It was secluded and you both thought nobody would find you and harm you. Happy endings don't always happen though. After many days of skipped meals and sleepless nights, the worst happened. You watched the love of your life walk out the door to get some food from the garden when a stray homicidal was walking down the road. Before he could grab a gun to kill the homicidal, the Homicidal shouted alerting more Homicidal's to come. There you watched the love of your life try to defend you both before getting infected. It was then when you had to defend yourself from the Homcidal's and even the love of your life. After shooting the only person who knew you for you, these were the memories that would haunt you until your dying breath.
Actual Members Reactions Now~
⌂ DK: "Labored breaths and bed sores, sing it to me all day long, when the aching 'Sound of Silence,' used to be our favorite song."
It had been no more than two awful weeks since you had to kill Seokmin. The memory of the look in his eyes when he realized he was infected scared you. It haunted you. He slid you the gun and just whispered "I love you, (Y/N)." You had to do it but it killed you to do so. Ever since, you just laid on the once shared dirty mattress. At this point you had been just laying down and getting bed sores due to lack of activity but in all honesty, you just wanted to return to the love of your life. You didn't want to live without him any longer. You felt your breath getting labored and you closed your eyes praying that it was your time to go. As if it were a miracle, you heard faintly the love of your life singing "sound of silence" which used to be your favorite song due to the memes. You choked back a sob before whispering, "I'm coming home Seokmin, I am so sorry."
⌂ Mingyu: "You and me against the world, you were my man and I your girl."
You stared down at your whole world who starred back up at you with blood dripping down his chin. He was still warm but he was gone. You looked around and saw a lot of other Homicidal's scattered across the gravel driveway. You didn't have one clear thought as you realized what you had to do. The one person who promised to be with you until the end of time was shot because of you. You both swore that if one of you got infected, you would shoot one or the other no matter what. However, with the seclusion of the house in Nebraska you both thought that it just would not happen and things would eventually be better. Life without Mingyu now though, it wouldn't be better even if this pandemic ended. So you did what you had to do. You dragged Mingyu into the house and drenched both you and his body in gasoline. You cried while doing so because the thought of dying was horrifying, however living was just not an answer as well. You took a deep breath before pressing a kiss onto Mingyu's forehead. You held onto him as you flicked the lighter and set both of you ablaze. The world may have won this battle, however you knew that you would both find each other in every lifetime that came.
⌂ Dino: "And I still call home that house in Nebraska, where we found each other on a dirty mattress on the second floor."
Once the pandemic hit Korea, you both ran refuge to America because there were more places to be secluded. Chan always joked that Nebraska was a myth because "nobody lives there" until that's where you found home. A worn out house that looked like it had been vacant since 1958. There wasn't much to it but a dirty mattress on the second floor. Any fear of germs vacated as it seemed better than a hardwood floor. The first night you spent on that dirty mattress, Dino and you had torn up some of your own shirts to use as a sheet and held each other for comfort. You swore that no matter what you would be together.
⌂ Woozi: "Where you told me even if we died tonight, that I'd die yours."
Jihoon and you made a promise that you would be together throughout the whole pandemic. You both would live together or you both would die together. After surviving for months, living seemed so much brighter. You both were a light to each other during this dark time. When you saw Jihoon get bit, you felt like your world shattered. He tossed the gun at you and looked up at you begging you to shoot him. You ended up shooting the rest of the homicidals but left the love of your life for last. "Y/N, kill me." You heard him beg. He wasn't infected quite yet but the color in his eyes was starting to change. It was a matter of time before he was like the homicidals. So you did what you promised him. You sat in front of him and put your head against his temple. He tried to push you off when he realized you were planning on shooting both of you at the same time. He wanted you to live but you still fired the shot killing him and injuring you. You ended up passing from lack of blood next to the love of your life. You both died together and as each others persons. Just like you promised.
⌂ Joshua: "Your mama calls me sometimes to see if I'm doing well and I lie to her."
About a year after shooting Jisoo, the pandemic had been lifted. You left the house in Nebraska and tried to live life the way you had before meeting Jisoo, before the pandemic and it was hard. It was so fucking hard. Especially since most of his family had survived. His mother would call you once a month once the pandemic was over even though she knew what you did. When you saw her name on your phone, guilt always ate you. She told you she didn't blame you and you shouldn't do the same thing however it was easier said than done. Whenever she asked how you were doing, you always gave her little white lies in hopes that she would believe you and hope that someday it would be true.
⌂ Vernon: "And I say I'm doing fine when really I'd kill myself to hold you one more time."
After Hansol passed, you left the house in Nebraska after setting him on fire. The only thing you had left of him was a plaid shirt that he wore often. You wore it every day and left with it on. You found a camp of other survivors and they welcomed you in with open arms. Nobody knew what you did but they knew you saw some heavy things. Someone named San was at the camp as well and wanted to know why you didn't smile. He would ask you how you were doing and your answer was always the same. "I'm fine." It was a safe answer and one San realized would be the only thing you would give. You thought San was nice however, your heart was burnt in Nebraska along with Hansol. Each day that passed, you wanted to kill yourself so you could be with your other half. Living without Hansol was the worst pain and nobody could ever understand.
⌂ Seungkwan: "And it hurts to miss you but it's worse to know that I'm the reason you won't come home."
You didn't know what hurt more. Missing Seungkwan being around physically or feeling remorse for killing him. When he took his last breath, you knew it was what you had to do but it didn't make the pain any more bearable. Seungkwan was your missing piece. He was the ying to your yang. The Bonnie to you Clyde. He was everything and him not being there was simply awful. You spent so many hours a day crying and just craving him to hold you just one more time. However you knew that he couldn't come back. You just prayed he would be waiting for you.
⌂ S. Coups: "You know, I still wait at the edge of town praying straight to God that maybe you'll come back around."
Killing Seungcheol drove you mad. You knew he was gone but you still would look out the window and walk to edge of town hoping to see him running home to you. Maybe him being infected was just a bad dream and he was coming to your makeshift home with some much needed supplies. Maybe he was still alive and you would see him again soon. One night when you made your way to the edge of town you saw a being in the distance. He looked so much like Seungcheol. Your heart started beating faster than ever as you started running toward 'Seungcheol.' As soon as you made it to them, you realized it was a scarecrow that was just propped up. You fell to your knees and started wailing out Seungcheol's name. You sobbed until you couldn't handle it anymore and just laid down and prayed to God that you could be reunited with your one true love once again. It took a few hours but soon your last breath was taken laying right next to the scarecrow.
⌂ Wonwoo: "I cry everyday, and the bottles make it worse 'cause you were the only one I was scared to tell I hurt."
You were no stranger to Jack Daniels and mental breakdowns prior to meeting Wonwoo all those years ago. You struggled with mental health and the only one who knew how deep your mental health struggles and alcohol uses was Wonwoo. So when you shot him with his own gun you ran back to what you knew best. Your addictions. You used to be afraid to confess when you missed alcohol to him but with him you ended up being a year sober. However, the familiar taste of whiskey burning the back of your throat numbed the regret and remorse. You knew he would've shook his head at your actions but at the same time, who could blame you?
⌂ Minghao: "I thought you were so beautiful, it was love, I guess."
Once the pandemic hit, it was hard to see things as beautiful. However, when you met Minghao at a camp before you made yourself home in that house in Nebraska, you thought he was so beautiful. His giggles that ended up haunting your every thoughts, the soft stare he'd give you, the way his arms would wrap around you when life got too scary. It was all so beautiful. One of the main regrets you had was that you didn't realize how much you loved this beautiful man until it was too late. When he was gone, dullness took over again and it was hard to find anything beautiful.
⌂ Hoshi: "And you might never come back home, and I may never sleep at night."
Delusions started to eat you alive, you ended up just thinking Soonyoung left you instead of you murdering him. You thought it was just a scary nightmare and he was just getting supplies for you both to survive. So you waited for him. You stayed up staring at the door like a stranded puppy waiting for their owner to come home from a silly 9-5. You lost track of the days and couldn't remember the last time you ate. However, you heard a noise from the outside and all you could think of was Soonyoung. You opened the door and ran to the tall figure. You didn't realize it was a homicidal until you felt venom run through your veins. By then it was too late and you were one of them.
⌂ Jun: "But God, I just hope you're doing fine out there, I just pray that you're alright."
Out of all the members, Jun actually survived. You shot the dirt next to him and he played 'dead.' He heard your screams of heartbreak and he felt so horrible. However, he knew the homicidal's came for a reason and he had just found a cure for a bite. However, there was not enough food for both you and him so he hid the fact that there was a cure from you. Instead, he decided to "die" and leave the food and everything for you in that house. After you did a shallow grave for him, he crawled out of the grave and made his way to a camp. He oathed if he could find more supplies he would come back for you. However, after he found more supplies and food he came back to an empty house. There was no sign of you and it broke him. He blamed himself. He should have told you what he discovered. He would spend every moment until his last breath trying to figure out what happened and where you went.
⌂ Jeonghan: "And I feel so alone out here and I feel so alone without you."
Prior to Jeonghan, you considered yourself super independent. You could take care of yourself because that was all you had known how to do. However, once you met Jeonghan, you became codependent. As much as you could, you turned your brain off because he always had a plan. You always were together so when he passed, you felt so alone. You tried your best to find who you were before Jeonghan came into your life but it was practically impossible. Everytime you thought about moving on, you felt a piece of you die. One night when it was raining, you couldn't handle laying down on a dirty mattress by yourself anymore so you went to his grave and laid next to it. You felt insane as you started to put soil on you to feel closer to him but believe it or not you felt him there. You closed your eyes as rain droplets continued to splatter across your face and took your last breath. You couldn't wait to be reunited with Jeonghan.
holy shit it's finally finished. I hope you enjoyed this. Sorry it was so heavy. fluffy shit is coming <3
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