#normal wars

[normalwars]

is your favorite character.....a bit fucked up?

is your favorite character.....incapable of being even a little bit normal?

do you think they should hold the official title of "least normal"? well without further ado, i present to you

the unofficial official tournament to decide once and for all which character is the least normal.

nominations will be open until the 25th, may vary depending on the amount of nominations.

rules:

no real people. unless it's REALLY fucking funny.

please be civil. the block button is my best friend.

for the love of god no hp characters. that's my only guideline on characters.

be as not-normal as possible. embody the spirit of the normal wars. propaganda will be welcome once the bracket is completed!

inspired by @bestfictionaldivorce, @it-its-swag, @white-boy-bracket, @topdisease, @thecompetitionshowdowntournament, @physicallydisabledswagtournament and many, many others!!

[adriles]

they are Cancelling me for dealing with my grief as best i can . also for the vicious war Crimes

[captain-mozzarella]

I headcanon that all of Yoda's finest teacups were made by younglings

In fact most masters of the order's finest teacups were made during crèche crafting time when the kids were learning pottery.

[wlwanakin]

at the end of the day when it comes to padmé i think it’s really important to remember that her closest friends are literally her employees. her only other friends are her coworkers. her closest friend for years was a girl she met at 14 whose job it was to pretend to be her and potentially die about it. another friend with the same job died in her arms while pretending to be her. she does not have friends outside of her squad of employees who pretend to be her and sometimes die about it and then her politician coworkers. too many of you are way too surprised that this woman is not normal about love or relationships or her own self considering all this

[eefaevie]

parce qu'on s'est crié des mots qui ont sali tous nos plus beaux dessins, on a hurlé des chaudières d'encre noire sur le bonheur

j'expose ma tête, mes yeux, mon cœur et mes mains

si tu reviens

something quiet, gentle, and romantic for today. I’ve been assured it’s suggestive enough for @goodomensafterdark ‘s smut war, so enjoy this soft interlude with suggestive tummy ❤️

[secretly-a-trekkie]

this is so niche but I believe I've just peaked

[edennill-archived]

GRRM may write more women than Tolkien, but as a woman I would feel much safer in Tolkien's world, and around the author himself

[bloominglegumes]

i love normal guys doomed by the narrative

[eggdrawsthings]

a duet in a galaxy far, far away

[laughhardrunfastbekindsblog]

Casual reminder that Hunter is LITERALLY the person who brings a knife to a gun blaster fight.

What makes this even funnier? In this scene, Anakin says "Hunter, hold them off," and Hunter's response is to drop the blaster he's holding in exchange for his knife.

[readerconfused]

I love that Hades PJO just said " i kind of don't mind living here, my brother is a paranoid who thinks everyone wants his throne"

[normalwars]

Have you gotten anyone who's real but funny enough that it gets around the rule yet?

this is complicated. because i definitely have gotten some submissions funny enough to get around the rule (cough cough. several dead authors. cough cough.) Unfortunately, most of those people haven't gotten more than one submission and probably wont make the cut.

we have gotten at least three submissions for Jerma, and i'm on the fence about including him. I just.....don't get it. I do not understand why people talk about him so much. I do not understand any of the jerma jokes. i'm so genuinely confused about this guy that it might actually circle around to being funny enough to include him. It's likely i'll do a bonus poll before the bracket is released to determine if he gets in or not.

[jedi-starbird]

Alpha-17 and Obi-Wan being friends (derogatory) on 17's part and friends (threatening) on Obi-Wan's part is such an underrated dynamic

They could be so funny and terrifying, like Obi-Wan went through a soul shredding experience with Alpha-17 as his only company. They're friends because what else are you gonna be after you witness each other at absolute rock bottom from torture.

It's like 'dog put in cage of cheetah who's threatening to go crazy', except the dog is a grizzly bear and also threatening to go crazy.

Emotional support trooper except the trooper in question has never done any sort of supporting in his life and is actively an emotional distress trooper to a great number of the CC batch.

I want them texting everyday, I want Obi-Wan mailing handmade BFF bracelets to Alpha and Alpha sending pics back of him flipping off the camera but still wearing them, I want Alpha using Obi-Wan to keep track of and occasionally terrorize his cadets, I want 17 ending problems in the GAR (like Krell) before they begin because Obi-Wan has him shipped out on a personal transport at the first opportunity, decked out with slug-throwers Obi-Wan got him for his decant-day.

Natborn officers think this is all just an odd indulgence of General Kenobi, the Vode, however, correctly identify it as a goddamn threat and their danger assessment of Obi-Wan ticks up significantly.

When Alpha arrives on Kamino, Shaak Ti presses a shiny new comm into his hand. It has the Jedi Order symbol painted onto it alongside a smiley face sticker, and it pings immediately with a new message: Hello! I hope you're settling in well!

Alpha stares at the message, stares at the singular contact named 'OWK' and then stares Shaak Ti in the eye as he pitches the comm straight into the ocean. Shaak Ti's serene smile only grows larger as she calmly reaches into her robes and pulls out an identical comm, only this one has a frowny face sticker, and presses it into his hand. It lights up: I'm afraid we've bonded, Alpha :). Alpha shuts it off and pockets it with resignation.

Cody arrives on Alpha-17's personal recommendation.

A-17: He's the most difficult little bastard I have. You're perfect for each other. OWK: Thank you, he's very handsome :3 A-17: No. Stop.

The first thing he asks once he gets comfortable is who his general is texting so much that has him swinging his legs and twirling his hair. Cody assumes it's Anakin, given they seem joint at the hip anyway, but little does he know Obi-Wan's ability to consistently have the Weirdest Relationships Ever.

"Oh, it's Alpha-17, I understand you're familiar with each other?" Hmm. OK. Cody.exe is experiencing a processing error, please hold. He exits the room instead of answering. The next day he peeks over the General's shoulder when he's texting and sees walls of rambling messages from Obi-Wan. Alpha-17 replies every hour with a single text: Lose this number. Obi-Wan giggles. "He's so funny." he says.

When Obi-Wan meets the rest of the CC batch, Cody makes sure to stand perfectly angled so that he can record the reactions when his general cuts off their introductions with "Oh, no need, Alpha-17's told me all about you." It's always immediate FEAR.JPG followed by a slow spiral of What The Fuck.

What do you mean by that General. What does that mean Cody. What do you mean they text. No. Cody. What the fuck is happening, Cody. Alpha-17 doesn't have friends he has enemies and enemies he tolerates enough not to shoot on sight.

OWK: Wolffe reached for his vambrace? when I mentioned you A-17: That's where he keeps his spare knife. OWK: Hm that does explain the way he eyed me up, ambitious. A-17: Clearly not enough, he should have followed through. I taught them better.

[stealthetrees]

Commander Fox gets hit by a speeder because he was avoiding the Chancellor cause he has zero respect for that old man. The medics are pissed bc this was 100% avoidable.

Coincidentally, Fox’s batchmates are on Coruscant so they all come to visit it him. They all ask how he broke both his legs and several ribs but he just says “I don’t remember” cause he’s too embarrassed to admit he was ditching work. So they ask the medics, who just say “it was Palpatine” and mutter darkly. The batch interprets this as Chancellor Palpatine broke Fox’s legs and gave him internal bleeding.

They react to that misunderstanding as one might expect. By the time the casts come off the war is over and clones have rights. Also Fox never skips a check up again due to the medics having blackmail hanging over his head like a guillotine.

[ddeck]

growth spruts

[bisexualvader]

Star Wars Episode II - Attack of the Clones

Obi-Wan Kenobi + ⛓️