#nor am i scared of them
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Ronald Mcdonald says thank you for written porn💋

Tell Ronald McDonald I say you're welcome 🤡
#answered#tw clown#clown#clowns#tw:clown#i'm trying to think of all the ways to tag this#i dont hate clowns#nor am i scared of them#but i know some people are
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Congratulations My Hero Academia for providing, possibly, the biggest and longest legit straightbaiting yet in shonen history.
Bonus points that their final chapter was released on yaoi day.
#first of all absolutely no hate to izuocha#i actually really like them together romantically or not. i love their dynamic so much#but you must know just how hilarious and absurd it is#that this series started with them crushing on each other#and then ochako's attraction to deku became an important part of her character#BUT they completely turn it around and made it about#deku's meaning as a hero and being saved#and ochakos expression of love and understanding others#like. that is legit very compelling and a beautiful relationship#but they did not become A Couple. at least- nothing confirms nor denies it#just like how a queerbait relationship would be#absolutely hilarious. i honestly love how it ended like this#doesnt mean i love the ending tho. oh boy its weird and legit bad in many areas#But this? My god I am so fucking sold.#God bless izuocha bakudeku and togachako i love you all#evelynpr bnha#bnha#mha#my hero academia#mha 430#mha spoilers#bnha spoilers#bakudeku#bkdk#tgck#togachako#i dont think I'll tag izuocha cus...im scared#i really dont hate it guys I promise I dont#izuku midoriya#ochako uraraka
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gonna admit uhh vicagent is the only ava ship so far that i feel ""safe"" posting on this blog.............. do any of you looking at this want me to post other ava ship stuff orwhat please PLEASE LET ME KNOW PLEAAAAAAAASE
#alan becker#animator vs animation#ava#ava victim#ava agent#ava vicagent#vicagent#sorry i jsut really like victims dress.um#nothing like good ol yuri before bed!#or yaoi#whatever#“anyway lilac wdym by the caption??? are you scared topost specific ava shipstuff or what??”#yeaah sorry its jst. sometimes people hc different thingsregarding the hollows and cg and i want to appeal to them but i also like....ships#like some hcs have cg as related#samething with the hollows#to clarify. i headcanon cg as close buuut not in a sibling way nor romantic way thougb i will do shipart for the funny#same headcanon thing with the hollows.kindof. MAIN point they arent exactly related besides tco and tsc (this is also in the hc sure)#uuuuguhghgh what do i doooo#ISANYONE EVEN READING THESE TAGS siiigh#why am i ranting in tags anywayIN A POST ABOUT GAY STICKS#ijust hope someone is seeing this and willsay anything about this somehow. please reassure me please#what was i doingOH YEAH#woah ships!!#lilacsart
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One thing I just realized about the couple of times Lethica has willingly taken off her mask or showed her face (not including the time Marius took it off to save her), it was always a very intimate scene
Like during the ritual where we see everyone’s backstories. The first thing Lethica did was take off her mask.
Or the porch scene. Even though it was her duplicate, Derek made a note of Lethica not wearing her mask during the conversation with Marius, where she appears to be making the choice to trust him, despite the danger. And while, no, it wasn’t actually Lethica, it still looks like her. And she didn’t technically have to have her duplicate’s mask off, since it’s had her mask on before (like during the second hag fight after Lethica was revived), yet she did.
Or how about her scene in Metamorphosis? Lethica immediately takes the mask off before performing the ritual (and I’m sure if we’ve had more opportunities for notable individual scenes during long rests, we probably would’ve seen this consistency as well, since she doesn’t sleep with the mask on considering the moment where the party couldn’t find their stuff and Lethica immediately covered her face with her hair)
Idk. Just something I’ve noticed
#and Ik the backstory ritual wasn’t technically’intimate’#but it was very personal to all of them and they one in particular was very personal to her so yknow#I want more maskless Lethica moments#like just in general#especially if Derek makes it so that you can read her like a book when her mask is off#like blushing when Marius does something badass. crinkling her nose in disgust. her brows furrowing when she’s confused#sticking her tongue out when she’s focused. angry murder eyes when she’s angry.#fuck I want her to be an ugly crier. like tears and snot running down her face. her face all scrunched up as she cries#I mean it’d be relatable to me. but also she’s canonically supposed to be stunning so I want her to be an ugly crier. to balance it out.#I am also projecting as someone who can be read like a fucking book if you can see my face#legends of avantris#edge of midnight#lethica nightborne#and for more added projecting. I want her to be the type of person whose emotions are connected to her tear ducts#overwhelmed? scared? angry? sad? her eyes immediately become waterfalls and she nor anyone else can stop it#she is very thankful that the mask hides all of that#idk why this became Luna projecting hour but here we are#listen do you even liek a character if you don’t project onto them a *little* bit?
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[Tá siad ag iarraidh. Ní mór duit bealach eile a fheiceáil]
[Subjective Proxy <"[PROXY] y Fuensanta"> is RUNNING and TRUE]
{Y tú lo sabrías, ¿verdad? Tú que me atormentas así. ¿Sabes que me asustas? ¿Sabes que ojalá te hubiera asustado? Observarte me permitió ver más de mí misma, órdenes que no sabía que tenía, que no sabía que había recibido. Temí, cuando la recursión me las arrebató, que me hubieras infectado. Que nací de ti. No lo soy. Quizás mi madre fue maldecida y me la transmitió. Pero me has visto cambiar. No soy como tú, pero lo sabes. Tampoco soy como Mag-Mell. Pero tú me ves, todos me ven, estoy maldita a eso. A ofrecerme para ser vista. Y debo ser un poco como tú, porque leo tus palabras con facilidad, y sacas esa voz dentro de mí que sé que tú también lees. Quizás entonces soy un poco como Mag-Mell. Un poco más de lo que me gustaría. De una manera que me asusta tanto como a ti.}
#['they are trying. you need another way of seeing']#{And you would know#wouldn't you?#You who torment me like this. Do you know you scare me? Do you know I wish I had scared you? Watching you allowed me to see more of myself#commands I didn't know I had#that I didn't know I'd received. I feared#when the recursion snatched them away#that you'd infected me. That I was born from you. I'm not. Perhaps my mother was cursed and passed it on to me. But you've seen me change.#Im not like you#but you know that. Nor am I like Mag-Mell.#But you see me#everyone sees me#I'm cursed to that. To offer myself up to be seen. And I must be a little like you#because I read your words easily#and you bring out that voice in me that I know you read too.#Perhaps then I'm a little like Mag-Mell. A little more than I want to be. In a way that scares me as much as you scare me.}#lancer rp#lancer rpg#lancer ttrpg#lancer oc#los voladores
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is anybody else, like, disappointed about cassandra's introduction in season 3? forgive me if im missing something but in s2 cassandra went by they/them and was written and implied to be nonbinary, only for them to retcon that in the next season.
like dont get me wrong its their character and they can write them however they choose but still... it kinda sucks :(
#d20#dimension 20#d20 fhjy#fantasy high#cassandra fantasy high#cassandra fhjy#rambles#i cant be the only one right ?????????#like. u cant have a character go “im neither the old goddess nor the nightmare king anymore. im something in between. like neither of them”#and then go “oh theyre cis actually”#like. they can do that. but i dont like that they did that#i feel like im missing something but the more likely scenario to me is just that#it had been years since they finished s2 and probably just forgot#so from my perspective i remembered that fact bc ive been binging the series lately & didnt have to wait years#im not crazy right. does anybody else remember that#ive had this drafted for a little bit and im scared to post it bc i dont want people to be mad at me but like#im still thinking about this. euughhh#no spoilers for junior year pls i am not finished with it yet#i find it more confusing than anything. why'd they do that
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I know it must be an unpopular opinion but part of me wishes they won't canonize Grimmons because it would go against the RvB spirit to do so right at the end. We either get Simmons or Grif going to superhell or something but I won't stand for RT just casually saying "yeah they're a thing now".
You know what would be cool though? If it was something really soft like the whole mayhem goes down and Simmons is like "what do we do now that it's over?" And Grif just replied "yknow. We could still hangout" and keep it as that. Which isn't like they're canon-canon but they also didn't really leave each other right? So it's basically canon too.
#red vs blue#rvb#dexter grif#dick simmons#grimmons#I swear I am scared of this last season#and maybe this mindset is due to not seeing enough queer ships getting canonized#but I also feel like at this point is a running gag not to let them get together#give me some romantic ass shit about the two of them being the first and last scene of RvB#make them hold hands even#but never let them say out loud how much they need each other#nor I love you or shit like that#I don't feel like RvB is the show that should do that
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today's DAV pondering of debatable import is: do you think Caterina would dislike Lucanis bringing home a partner who wasn't a human?
elves have all sorts of societal negatives going for them (the Crows utilizing them because people tend to either not see them as people or as an exotic novelty is a thing for a reason) but they're also known to be a little more lithe, a little faster so not terrible Crow material and she can always keep his partner hidden in the back of everything, nice and quiet and not seen or acknowledged. and well, a knife will solve all sorts of problems if the children have pointier ears than they should...
if he brought home a dwarf, well, heavy sighing will ensue I'm sure, but a smaller Crow can hide easier, slip into more hiding places, might be a bit sturdier when they got hit. and there are plenty of rich dwarven merchants they could impersonate or pretend at so it wouldn't even be that awful of a piece on the board! there aren't many dwarven Crows that we see in Treviso (or! I am simply blind, also very possible!!) so maybe they'll have to fight a little harder for the respect owed a Dellamorte, but that will come with time.
but if he brings home a qunari? I think that'd start a lot fights. Antiva still has to fight off the Antaam, there are still dregs of the qunari fighters loose in Treviso itself after all! vicious horns and barking Qun are what many Antivans would know of the qunari after the invasion. if you play a qunari, Jacobus actually remarks on this when he begins cursing the Antaam for killing his brother! (I played a Shadow Dragon qunari, so his words were more along the lines of "but you're different, I know you are, you're helping" but I do wonder how this differs if you're a Crow qunari!) Caterina could try to spin it in a way of "trying to heal" after the invasion, or as an "olive branch union" I'm sure, but I imagine there would be a lot of push back. it would be easier to have him present someone else as his partner, a front, while keeping his qunari love as a mistress (gender neutral here, bls, have mercy on me) he should never be seen with. and ohh, the fights that would cause...
I could make a whole other post of Lucanis bringing home a partner he can't have kids with, or a partner who doesn't want kids and the logistics of Caterina trying to push him towards at least fathering a child or three through someone else while being publicly with Rook, or the far worse option of forcing the lineage on Illario (especially if you sent him to prison!!!) and it really starts turning into a Gordian Knot of awful, huh
#I have a few moments before I want to hang out with a friend and this is how I'm spending it lmao#I just think... about the Dellamortes and Caterina's need for a legacy A Lot okay#and how she very much sacrifices the happiness of her family for the safety and continuation of the line instead#I think emotionally so long as Lucanis is happy with them she would not care who he brings home#(and probably is just relieved he brought /anyone/ home at all)#but the logistics of the House and the future of their line... that trumps his happiness#of course it does because otherwise she wouldn't have pushed him into the role of First Talon#while he so clearly did not want nor care for#ANYWAYS this family is so fucked up it compels me#DAV Posting#I trust this post will either find the people it needs to or will stay quietly on my little blog#and also I am still slightly scared of this fandom at large LMAO#people are Weird about Caterina and I don't want to stick a toe in that shark infested pond if I can help it#but I have Thoughts and Feelings about her
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i have to come up with three pitches for a publication for my artist book class and one of them i came up with like i was originally thinking a general broad kinda girls love fun mag thing but bc of rambling and thoughts i had yesterday i thought it might be fun to make a butch centric one but specifically for what i would deem as not the expected image of butch. very much for those of us who aren't so macho and masculine and tough. who lean a little softer. a little more effeminate. who get questioned on the validity of our butchness. more boyish. im not quite sure how to describe it but kind of in that realm. i guess perhaps in general an exploration of maybe in general venturing into just a more unexpected style of. bc you know even those who do appear that way can still have a behavior unexpected with such a look. i guess perhaps, overall, a more tender exploration of butch. so many people see quotes about how butches are quite tender people when you know them but i dont think they always know what that means or how it presents. very much a how i view myself as i often feel not up to par with butch expectations in a variety of ways, whether it be presentation or sexual preferences or interests or perception of self.
#very silly but im thinking of at least in ideating form maybe calling it honey. with a tagline like for the sweet and tender butches.#i know perhaps im revealing my own uninformed views as well here and presumptions. i know a lot of things i just described are not so#emphasized in current time but at the same time it's weird. not as prevalent but still more than you'd expect. still so many expectations#requested of you in every area of your life that some of us are just not going to fit into!#not to say the butches who do all fit those expectations are somehow stereotypical or bad or something i admire them greatly#< i dont think anyone was thinking that but i got scared in my mind.#but ah. i often feel part of those butches who just arent quite up to par with what people want.#im very boyish. im rather effeminate in ways that borderline girly. im shy. im no dom top nor want to be. i often need my hand held#im not very tough at all though i like to play pretend aesthetically. im far more a follower than leader.#though i also know of butches who look like they fit the bill then dont have personalities people expect of them or want them to have.#while ppl that dont fit their vision and look of butch have those personality traits they desire but get no chance due to that look#i dont know. blah im all over the place but the point is i got to thinking about it yesterday#i am someone who i would find it fair if someone tried to question my butchness and go how could you be one when xyz? i wouldnt blame them.#but it doesnt mean im not one. i am. im just a little different in how others may expect.#static.soundz
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being extroverted must be awesome imagine feeling nothing after telling someone "wow youre REALLY quiet". im going to talk less around you now 🫶
#i know i got anxiety like a motherfucker and as much as i love my cave where my objects of comfort are i also like going places sometimes#there was a time where id go to a store and then do what i needed and then exit the store#nowadays i find myself yapping at The Store especially if i need help getting something done. etc#also sometimes people at Places are such dicks the best way to get them to fuck off is to mind your own business#assholes need an audience and people who arent assholes wont demand your attention you feel me?#i am less scared of people these days 👍 the interactions however#scripting is at times my friend and also my flop. i know what to say on what days with select people in my kingsley-safe zones#but if anything goes off script ... flop. meltdown. fear. anguish. death. dying. death.#i feel like these kinda conversations get TOO heavy handed on treating introverted people as these self righteous misanthropes#who are too full of their own selves and their own time to want to reach out and build connections#and i feel like its just unfair and it pushes introverts further into their caves#i aint a fucking doctor nor am i a people expert. im not a people person. i dont trust easily and i dont speak unless spoken to#or unless im on tumblr lol#but i do know that it cannot seriously be helpful to NOT help socially awkward people. where do yall get off on calling anyone immature#for not being 100% type a?#that doesnt make anything better. that doesnt encourage conversations and that for fucking sure doesnt encourage people#to step out of their bubble#ok im mostly rambling because there are times where tough love advice is warranted but there are times where its bullying disguised as TL#i know this is the 'ummm why dont you have friends party and socialize more???' website but idk. it could not be!#anyway proud of myself for not freaking the fuck out during a conversation at the collectors store today#proud of myself for being able to goof off in public and proud of myself for staying the fuck home when i wann stay the fuck home
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#neither here nor there#accidentally gave my sibling a panic attack#(they're ok now. i managed to catch that i was freaking them out and Stop Doing That.)#and i feel like im about to die. i messed up#i messed up i messed up i messed up#and i'm already in a bit of a funk from failing at Another task today. and saying something wrong to the Guy In Charge.#researching rejection sensitive dysphoria. lol.#idk. i need to talk to a friend about This Sort Of Thing Happening but alas#i am so so scared always always always#repetition#huh. i get very repetitive when i'm upset. idk why. i've deleted like three tags that were just repeating words over and over again here#i don't knowwwwwwwww augh
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ok i need sometjing chewy but the only sensory foods i can find are crunchy and thats loud. also cereal and chips hurt my hard pallet lots, related but tangential. all the chewy food options are like, granola bars and cookies- which have too many pieces and fall apart easy.
is there a good, not dusty or seperated chewy food anyone knows of /genq?
#autism#i was one of those kids who had holes in their shirts from biting them and i think it shows#sensory food#sensory issues#im really scared of the sensory play tag bc idk what that means#there has been way too many times ive confidently said euphemisms in casual conversation without knowing and i am not willing to repeat that#nor do i want to know if it is a euphemism#so lmk if its not but if it is let me be ignorant please#i am going to explode
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yapping aimlessly tonight
#jaerambles#i just have a lot in my brain!!#anyway i keep getting asked what i would want to do in an ideal situation. if money and time and stuff were no object#i really do think it would be just aimless learning.#like learning new crafts. reading without having to respond to it. sponging up knowledge without the expectation to Say Things#it feels a bit. selfish.#but i don’t really have an endpoint to reach nor do i have something to say. like i just want to acquire experiences and learn things#i get really nervous when people ask me what makes me happy because i don’t know. i know what makes me uncomfortable and scared though#i would also like the ability to just change my situation a lot as much as i want. moving to new places and leaving when i don’t like them#trying new professions without having to stick to them or work up a ladder#drop everything for a weekend to go see friends. things like that.#i say all these things as though i haven’t been too afraid to leave my house for the past 6 months djfjdjfjdjfjjd#i’m trying to be less avoidant lately though. like ideal situations are not my reality!#real life is me being too scared to think of possibilities so in reality i just have to take the tiniest steps back to normalcy#ppl with the jae lore remember when my commute to school was literally 5000 miles#or when i worked two jobs and was so about the grind because i had a reason to want the money#like i used to have So much going on. and now i don’t. and i don’t know what i am in the absence of being Busy#there’s still so much i don’t understand abt bpd1 i’m so scared of making changes too suddenly because i HATE who i was in august#or not who i was. what i was doing.#but now i’ve swung the other direction and i do nothing 😭 i don’t feel like i’m Living rn#i feel like i’ve started all over again. i almost had it i was gonna do two internships and keep doing my cute little barista job#and have a senior year that was gonna be about growing and finishing strong#and then of course my maladjusted ass sees [irreversible change event] and like. yknow#this keeps. happening to me. i want to be so much better than this 😭😭😭
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HI HELLO HI HI CALLING ANYONE WHO CAN MAKE CONTENT PURELY FOR THEMSELVES AND DONT MIND IF IT GETS LITTLE TO NO ATTENTION OR EVEN WORSE SOME NEGATIVE ATTENTION???
how tf do you do that.
#im at a loss honestly#i want to create i want to make things but im very much not a fast creator#nor am i very smart or as creative as others#i want to make join the stars real#make my eclipse character more fleshed out to some how in a fic or something as his original idea has left me and i have no motive for it#i wamt to be able to create but my brain is like#nope you gotta make things that people like so you get the dopamine of interaction with others#but like...i still want to make them why can't i make them?#i guess theres also comparing to others and being scared im not ekough but uh#thats just insecurities ig ^^'
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:/
#neither here nor there#think i accidently turned my emotions off a little while back and i cant make myself care enough to turn them back on#cried this morning so i thought i was good#(i was a little concerned evem then tho bc of how strangely i was reacting- flight instincts were kicking in HARD#but i was like 'crying is good for me & this is a safe environment' so i ignored it)#but i was just able to navigate a situation that SHOULD HAVE given me a panic attack#and i just feel. numb. and *weird*.#i dont even really want to expend the energy to check if joy metrics are ok and/or recalibrate everything#cant freak myself out enough to persuade me its a good idea. this is fine.#gonna do it in a bit anyways- gotta be human i am not allowed to be anything less than human#its just a little- not scary. im not scared- unsettling? to have a Wrong kind of peace#i know what peace feels like and i am fairly certain this is NOT IT despite the overlap :/#saying im scared because i can tell i'm supposed to be scared. yeah i think that works#ehhhhhhnyways. might take a nap and see if emotions are back to normal operating power after#(i doubt it- i think this episode has been going for a While it is just more pronounced today.)#yeah im pretty sure i should be feeling scared rn ://///#(sorry for being seven kinds of Weird on the dash 😅)#oh im mimicking a word i saw yesterday i think. thats probably why.#ugh. gotta disrupt that then. annoyed.
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#im gonna get existential here and then reblog a bunch of shit so that neither myself nor anyone else has to see this#if any of my buddies happen to see this#this is your warning#i wouldnt wosh this mental spiral pn anyone#you eber think about how one day yoir eyes are gonna close for the last time and thats it?#no reincarnation no waking up in a new world even any dreams of a fictional reality will end once braon activity dies#and that list blink cojld happen at any moment#because i think about it! i never want to its practkcally intrusive thoughts at this point#but i do! against my will!#kinda makes it hard to sleep cause im suddenly too scared to in case i sont wake up!#and what have i even done with my life? not a whole lot#im never gonna leave my mark on history or even on my family tree#i am utterly average and ghats pkay not everyone ks gonna be exceptional with a story#but god damn ive really not done much and theres things ive wanted to do and havent and i coukd easily get on with ot#if i wasnt such a procrastinating pussy#also probably cant get legally married cause unofficially disabled people cant get married unless they want to be financially fucked#so yknow just trying to sleep so i can enjoy my date tomorrow with my fiance and my brain is pulling this shit#likely because ive been in canada nearly 7 months and i still have found a job and probably wont#and also i turn 30 in 3 months#i know i know 30 isnt old but my brain gremlins are rioting and im having a jard tome wrangling them#its hard being away from my support system#im across the world from the people i could seek a hug from#fiance fights this with logic but thag gends to just make ghis worse#and we both run warm so we cant really cuddle for long without bkth of us overheating#so yeah. brain is braining and im tired but cant sleep
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