#noone else is gonna do it. no one else is gonna do it

[magnoliamyrrh]

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[poniko-w]

mdcr half of the headcanons post! i dont have much to write for them because i dont have many hcs for them beyond their designs

+ a bonus gabukin

[milkweedman]

I think ive got a good idea for my next warm knit--wool legwarmers that go up to the thigh. I'd only be wearing them in my wheelchair so I'm hoping them staying up wont be an issue. I was initially thinking long underwear but I think I could eliminate most of the need for washing by just ... not doing a crotch ? Also idk how to knit a crotch anyway, and it's my legs that get horribly cold. I have quite a lot of pink laceweight millspun wool that I think should be enough. Very excited to get started on it... basically will just be a long tube with increases so it should be easy enough.

[clownwithoutamedicallicense]

FINALLY FINISHED MY HNOC PATCH!!! It’s very wibbly wobbly but I worked very hard on it so idc.

Actually very happy with how it’s turned out, especially considering originally I was worried the colours were too light (they literally darkened as I worked on the patch lol). In comparison, my UDAD one seems very scruffy now lmao, but at least that shows I’m making improvements!! Stabbed myself so many times making it though 😭😭

I have no idea what to make next snskdkdkfje

[mushed-kid]

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[ladylynse]

I am officially snowed in.

[1eeminho]

love how the boss keeps telling us to not go into overtime and to not fall behind with discharge reports etc etc while its just SO much to do all the time??? and not just shit u can plan??? theres so much unhinged shit happening all the time????

[spoonyruncible]

I'm not gatekeeping, I just have some gates and I've sort of vaguely known they're there, I haven't kept them and the hinges are so rusty i doubt they'd close if I tried. But, like, for ages all that came through those gates were stray geese and a dog I think belongs to a neighbor but might just belong to himself and of course there's the hunching afflicted wrathbeast. That's just having a garden. Things grow there and random folks stumble in sometimes, mispronounce the names of my favorite varietals, say stunningly inaccurate things about them, and wander bemusedly back out.

As a surprise to probably no one I was a deeply lonely child. No one really got me or what my deal was, so when I found something I loved it was mine and mine alone to treasure. As I got older I found other people who liked 'my' things. Some of those people were horrible! But there was a kinship and it was okay to be a bit horrible so long as we could be odd together. Gardens are resilient things, they tolerate mistakes and abuse. It's absolutely wonderful to share, to dance to the same music, that imperfection becomes part of the joy of it, becomes a unique thing unto itself.

So imagine my shock when there is a garden party that rapidly becomes a festival. No one has ever really been here before, it's been me and the geese and that one dog and a few other weirdos. Suddenly my things, things people beat me for loving, are things everyone loves. All at once the landscape is unrecognizable and if I acknowledge that then I'm being a hipster. I don't mind the festival, it's nice, now it's much easier to get things I need without having to put on my trekking gear and hike out to the one obscure location that has The Supplies. It's not bad, it's just weird. It feels like there is something wrong with me instead of something wrong about liking what I like.

I'm not really talking about one specific thing here, there have been a lot of these moments where what used to be unusual or even shameful is now the big thing. And it's good, it's can be great sometimes even with the unforeseen bizarre bad parts. But there is this selfish little part of me that wants to cling to my unloved love, to put a raggedy LP on a barely working record player and lay on the wooden floor of my childhood home staring at a painting of a ship in a storm that is right beside a picture of a young man in a cap and a too large jacket and listen to sea shanties belted out by people not very good at singing while I drift and drift and drift away on the sound and the whitecaps to a place where there is only this. I love the new versions like a drowning man loves air, I am happy that people have found this beautiful thing and can enjoy it, but there is a tinge to it I don't like. A prick of pain every time I see this joy over my joy, over my joy that I was punished for, humiliated for, shamed for. I'm glad people can love these things without suffering but it makes my suffering seem so fucking stupid.

There is a certain temptation, a bitter agony, that makes me want to hiss like an abused cat and cling jealous to my silly little toys. It's not that I want them all for myself, it's that I can't let go of that little kid with a bruisy eye sulking because no one wants to play with him. It's the whisper of, "We can be friends but only in secret. I don't want people to know I'm like you." It's the enthusiasm that rapidly becomes muted because the whole world is demanding to know why you can't just be normal for once. But that same temptation to lash out is the one that makes me reach out my hand instead, especially to people who are like, "Wow! I've never been to a garden before. I'm gonna screw this up. How do I not screw it up?" because now they're that bruisy eyed kid no one wants to play with. I can't protect the person I used to be by becoming the exact thing that hurt me. Gotta keep the gate open, gotta get used to new things even if it takes noise cancelling headphones and an entirely rational amount of backsliding, gotta wake up every day and keep trying even though the world keeps throwing curveballs that no sane person could anticipate. It's all okay. We're in this together and we're all gonna be okay,

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

i can feel...... the mental illness...... clawing its way into the forefront of my mind........

[olli-online]

damn these trauma responses got hands. imust kill this existance of myself completely cut everyone off and delete everything and then come back 2 years later and do it all again

[ninjacookiexd]

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[humanmorph]

alright since i am at my wits end. fatt mutuals/followers. when you hear “i believe that justice given is no justice at all” what image comes to mind for you. anything in particular

[sluttyten]

I still have 5 hours left in my shift 😭😭😭

[yellowistheraddest]

so bored of this project noone is getting along and we all wnat to go home so its honestly very rude that time is going real slow - so inconsiderate

[ourceliumnetwork]

me: completes a drawing it's taken me 3 weeks to get through also me: has at least one ongoing fiber art project and several writing projects

my brain: WE SHOULD MAKE BRAND NEW THINGS WITH THE YARN YOU WEREN'T GOING TO TOUCH UNTIL YOU FINISHED YOUR CURRENT PROJECTS.

me: can't argue with that

[jackalhadrurusluvr]

i did lots of laundry today and i am changing my sheets and i would like a little bit of gentleness from the universe