#noone else is gonna do it. no one else is gonna do it

[corviacore]

The idea that "writing a game like this is hard so the dungeon master has to fix it in post" is so weird to me when there's like...so many games out there that DO provide a good experience, you just have to know what you want to play, if you wanna play a mystery game in the modern day, eureka! You wanna play as cyber hackers in the future? Cyberpunk maybe? Maybe shadowrun if you'd like some fantasy in there. Play blades if you wanna have a criminal party.

Lots and lots of games that provide decent ideas and play and while the ones I naked probably have their own issues (I only played a little of cyberpunk and shadowrun) they very much have a specific idea of what the party is gonna do and therefore don't need the game master to adjust the entire rules to fit whatever the party wants to do.

Like don't bring up how hard it is to write a Ttrpg that actually works as if noone else ever actually wrote working ttrpgs with intended gameplay.

im confused about the dnd 5e hatred. yall arent just ignoring rules that are dumb? ur dm actually follows every single thing in the book for real?

if you have to ignore some of the rules for the game to be good then the game is not good

[ihatemystomachhh]

How long have you been pvrg1ng? How mch? How often?

Do you remember how was your first time? Where did you did it?What pushde you to do so?

Who else knows?

TW pvrg1ng, very graphic, 3d, please convince yourself not to ever do it, this is your warning

ive been pvrging ever since the summer of 2016, when i was 16 years old until now. I was always the ogre, the fat one, never seen as someone who was worthy of dates, boyfriends, love, intimacy and romance. I looked myself in the mirror and had to convince myself to do it, like pep talk myself to do it

in my disordered head it was the best of both worlds, enjoy food but eject it all out before it had time to settle

i would drink so much water that i couldnt anymore and wash it out by pvrg1ng. it was super violent

i would pvrge everytime i had a m34l

the first time i did it in the bathroom upstairs while my parents were downstairs and i would play loud music to cover up the sound

it was so violent, it felt like my eyes were gonna pop out, i have lasting scars on my knuckles from grinding it against my molars from consecutive sessions

i have lost 5 molards because of the acid and decay

i used to hold the regurgitated f00d that would comeout and lay it into the bowl so it wouldnt make loud noises

i would cry looking at my red puffy eyes, drool and spit and puke off the corners of my mouth and tell myself "good job" and i wish i never conditionedmyself to do it

what pushed me to do it was that i saw it as a reset button. push the reset button and youre fine is what i told myself, to not give my body the time to absorb the cals. I hated my body and still do. the fat, the uneven boobs, the weird ugly proportions

i have told my parents but they cant understand it, they convince themselves i just have really bad stomachaches

noone has ever seen me do it

[magnoliamyrrh]

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[poniko-w]

mdcr half of the headcanons post! i dont have much to write for them because i dont have many hcs for them beyond their designs

+ a bonus gabukin

[clownwithoutamedicallicense]

FINALLY FINISHED MY HNOC PATCH!!! It’s very wibbly wobbly but I worked very hard on it so idc.

Actually very happy with how it’s turned out, especially considering originally I was worried the colours were too light (they literally darkened as I worked on the patch lol). In comparison, my UDAD one seems very scruffy now lmao, but at least that shows I’m making improvements!! Stabbed myself so many times making it though 😭😭

I have no idea what to make next snskdkdkfje

[ladylynse]

I am officially snowed in.

[get-more-bald]

the biggest thing about X6 is not that he doesn't think of himself as human (though he doesn't, and according to some it's correct) BUT that he doesn't see himself as a Person

[spoonyruncible]

I'm not gatekeeping, I just have some gates and I've sort of vaguely known they're there, I haven't kept them and the hinges are so rusty i doubt they'd close if I tried. But, like, for ages all that came through those gates were stray geese and a dog I think belongs to a neighbor but might just belong to himself and of course there's the hunching afflicted wrathbeast. That's just having a garden. Things grow there and random folks stumble in sometimes, mispronounce the names of my favorite varietals, say stunningly inaccurate things about them, and wander bemusedly back out.

As a surprise to probably no one I was a deeply lonely child. No one really got me or what my deal was, so when I found something I loved it was mine and mine alone to treasure. As I got older I found other people who liked 'my' things. Some of those people were horrible! But there was a kinship and it was okay to be a bit horrible so long as we could be odd together. Gardens are resilient things, they tolerate mistakes and abuse. It's absolutely wonderful to share, to dance to the same music, that imperfection becomes part of the joy of it, becomes a unique thing unto itself.

So imagine my shock when there is a garden party that rapidly becomes a festival. No one has ever really been here before, it's been me and the geese and that one dog and a few other weirdos. Suddenly my things, things people beat me for loving, are things everyone loves. All at once the landscape is unrecognizable and if I acknowledge that then I'm being a hipster. I don't mind the festival, it's nice, now it's much easier to get things I need without having to put on my trekking gear and hike out to the one obscure location that has The Supplies. It's not bad, it's just weird. It feels like there is something wrong with me instead of something wrong about liking what I like.

I'm not really talking about one specific thing here, there have been a lot of these moments where what used to be unusual or even shameful is now the big thing. And it's good, it's can be great sometimes even with the unforeseen bizarre bad parts. But there is this selfish little part of me that wants to cling to my unloved love, to put a raggedy LP on a barely working record player and lay on the wooden floor of my childhood home staring at a painting of a ship in a storm that is right beside a picture of a young man in a cap and a too large jacket and listen to sea shanties belted out by people not very good at singing while I drift and drift and drift away on the sound and the whitecaps to a place where there is only this. I love the new versions like a drowning man loves air, I am happy that people have found this beautiful thing and can enjoy it, but there is a tinge to it I don't like. A prick of pain every time I see this joy over my joy, over my joy that I was punished for, humiliated for, shamed for. I'm glad people can love these things without suffering but it makes my suffering seem so fucking stupid.

There is a certain temptation, a bitter agony, that makes me want to hiss like an abused cat and cling jealous to my silly little toys. It's not that I want them all for myself, it's that I can't let go of that little kid with a bruisy eye sulking because no one wants to play with him. It's the whisper of, "We can be friends but only in secret. I don't want people to know I'm like you." It's the enthusiasm that rapidly becomes muted because the whole world is demanding to know why you can't just be normal for once. But that same temptation to lash out is the one that makes me reach out my hand instead, especially to people who are like, "Wow! I've never been to a garden before. I'm gonna screw this up. How do I not screw it up?" because now they're that bruisy eyed kid no one wants to play with. I can't protect the person I used to be by becoming the exact thing that hurt me. Gotta keep the gate open, gotta get used to new things even if it takes noise cancelling headphones and an entirely rational amount of backsliding, gotta wake up every day and keep trying even though the world keeps throwing curveballs that no sane person could anticipate. It's all okay. We're in this together and we're all gonna be okay,

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

i can feel...... the mental illness...... clawing its way into the forefront of my mind........

[olli-online]

damn these trauma responses got hands. imust kill this existance of myself completely cut everyone off and delete everything and then come back 2 years later and do it all again

[ninjacookiexd]

.

[humanmorph]

alright since i am at my wits end. fatt mutuals/followers. when you hear “i believe that justice given is no justice at all” what image comes to mind for you. anything in particular

[sluttyten]

I still have 5 hours left in my shift 😭😭😭

[yellowistheraddest]

so bored of this project noone is getting along and we all wnat to go home so its honestly very rude that time is going real slow - so inconsiderate

[dredshirtroberts]

me: completes a drawing it's taken me 3 weeks to get through also me: has at least one ongoing fiber art project and several writing projects

my brain: WE SHOULD MAKE BRAND NEW THINGS WITH THE YARN YOU WEREN'T GOING TO TOUCH UNTIL YOU FINISHED YOUR CURRENT PROJECTS.

me: can't argue with that

[jackalhadrurusluvr]

i did lots of laundry today and i am changing my sheets and i would like a little bit of gentleness from the universe