#i am so happy for them. but also what the hell am i doing

[abbinurmel]

I always wondered what it was that put me off about this song, cos far as my tastes go it is not a BAD song, musically, nor was it even the sorta of innocent badness that comes of playing any decent to great song TOO much on the radio, to the point the more they force it down your throat more you grow to despise it. (Which did happen to mild extent at times in retail.)

But there was also this bizarre quality of forced insincerity to it?

I couldn’t pin it down, maybe the lyrics had just a tad much childishness in them, too much ‘clap along with me everybody la la la’ edutainment host vibe, which, even there, should by right have something else going for it, yet doesn’t ….because such kinda pop music or tv icons often has good fun energy…think of shows like Yo Gabba Gabba or LazyTown….such personas whether in Pop or TV entertainment still have that kind of zingy usually obnoxious colorful energy that makes you (when successful) find their glurgey joyous zeal infectious, and danceable, especially as a kid, but, even adults could smile and find enjoyment and positive uplifting wavelengths in. That’s the point, to be pulled into the moment of happiness and exercise or participate along with your kids, or other fools on the dance floor at your sisters wedding. A good Lady Gaga song or DEVO track or Weird Al even, while despite being wildly different artists and have RADICALLY different image and sound demographic goals, they equally completely share this same colorful *vivaciousness* to me.

But Pharrell’s weird. He is missing of that mark to me. But this song encapsulates it, or tries to, so hard, with beautiful catchy smooth modern yet retro beats and the ultra carefree cheery lyrics and this very ‘70s disco soft falsetto’ kinda croon.

And yet, there’s kind of this flatness to it all. The music YEARNS for a Weird Al or a Jack White or a Taylor or just someone with sincere giddy excitement in their vocals here. https://youtu.be/zq7Eki5EZ8o?si=pPPNQH0iSZwU6WHy

I keep bringing up Al Yankovich, because, well, just listen to it… he mimics the sound exactly the same like Pharrell way he usually does in his tributes…but HE brings to this song exactly the energy it has got missing. His unique voice takes this actual sense of HE IS HAVING FUN, nay, HE IS HAVING SHAMELESS AMOUNTS OF FUN into the mix. For some strange reason in his parody cover, clever lyrical humor aside, I genuinely find weird Al‘s energy in his parody version ‘Tacky’ WAY better, way more clap-along-with-me-now! more uplifting than the original. Almost to a point I gotta wonder if he knew on some tiny level this song’s background, and appreciated either the irony or likes Pharrell personally and resonated with him/felt this decent song deserved his energy, enough to creatively motivate Al to do the parody in the very first place??

Am I crazy?….am I overthinking this?

Pharrell in the original one sounds far from miserable, but he still sounds weary to me, the lyrics even kind of gave off this dissonant weariness, yet trying the best they can to instruct the listener to jump for joy, and clap along, as they smile forcibly, wearily, thru it. It reminds me every time I listen to it so much, SO FREAKING MUCH of the times when I will work gigs as a photo booth operator or other roles at Sweet 16s or proms or other major events. You stand there, and are not usually having a BAD TIME, it’s not BAD to be there, the food is good, people are in usually good spirit and paying you decent money to basically just stand around and be there. Yet despite that? You CANT FUCKING WAIT TO GET THE HELL HOME. Every minute is soul rending torture, and you can’t even know why, other than beyond you are just bored and tired, and don’t wanna be here, basking in the glow of a total stranger’s party.

[wings-of-ink]

Hello everyone!

I just wanted to pop in and say hey and give some updates. They're all very mild, but I feel like I've been quiet lately so I wanted to pop something out here for you so you get a feel for where I'm headed.

I have some asks that have piled up and I will be chipping away at them here and there. I had a weird week that I am recovering from, and my mind has been super unfocused lately. I'm doing better now, but had a bout with a few days of insomnia and anxiety. I am already a sleepy-sad mess in the winter, so this does me no favors. I'm popping in when I have some bursts of energy. Your asks and comments have made me smile, think, and get pumped for the days to come though, so I thank you for that. ^_^

Even though my energy is down, I am still finding enjoyment in working on some of the extras! Even if I can only work in short bursts, it's helped me find some respite. I have worked out a short-form character creation for the Cursed Birthday extra. I also have that outlined. My goal is to have that released by the end of this month!

I still plan on opening a Patreon soon, but I have kept putting it on the back burner as I focus on just making it through this time of year, lol. I am just so stupid-tired most of the evening when I have free time and am very over it. In future years, I'll be working ahead during the other seasons and then take a solid block of time between December and January off. I vote that we hibernate.

Before I open up Patreon, I want to have some work banked up and ready to go. Part of the benefits will be voting on what you want to read, but I need to have some basis to go off of for that and content to put out in between. I'll post some teasers and samples so you can see if the extras I have in store will tickle your fancy. I have a running list of both SFW and NSFW extras I'd like to write. Someone asked me earlier to spill (leak) some of my tea on these, so I will happily share a few things I have cooking in my noggin.

Regular (mild) Extras: * A series of stories about being "snowed in" with each of the ROs and how they spend the day with MC. * Each RO will get character-specific stories, featuring cute and romantic moments for things like Zahn's birthday or baking cakes with Oswin.

Spicy Extras: * A series of tales that are erotic dreams that the MC has while traveling with the group. Anything can happen here. * Each RO will have stories featuring spicy content relative to their character's desires. For example, in the first month of Patreon, Oswin will be featured in the spicy tier. The story is titled, "Honey," and is interactive. You can use your imagination. (shout out to the anon who already read my mind and called me on this, lol)

**Addendum** I remember what else I was going to include here so I'm editing. I have some corrections (typos and grammar and such) and a patch for Zahn's moment in Chapter 5 to put through but I cannot get the itch "Butler" application to work on my laptop still. I can't patch without breaking saves all over again. I am trying to find another computer I can do this on so I don't break saves just for a patch.

I think those were the main bits I wanted to touch on (hell if I actually remember, lol). I am recovering from my weird week and am happy it's the weekend. My new kitties are doing fabulous as well. They are very cute and keep me on my toes. Oh, and Arlo knows how to open doors, so there's that. Miles, who was very shy at first, has become a sweet little socialite too.

Arlo just looks grumpy, but he is an absolute ham.

Miles likes to lay with his feets dangling.

[thegoddessprose]

I barely see any of these, but I like this kind of challenge. I'll be answering all of these as Chiasa.

🌧️: I usually use an umbrella on rainy days because believe me, as functional as is, it's very hard to find a stylish hooded raincoat that doesn't make my hair all static-y... But there's plenty of nice umbrellas. I like the rain (better from the inside!) I love the noise the raindrops make, the way it smells afterwards... Really an example of the beauty and power of nature.

🍳: I like to think that I am, I haven't had any complaints since I was still learning. I guess I'm alright, but I'm no chef, or my father. I enjoy it when I have time, it keeps me close with my family and is all around calming. And my favorite... Oh! Kare for sure. Out of everything I make, everyone thinks I'm the best with that.

🧼: Showers are for the morning (The ones alone at least, hehe...) and baths are for the evening. I love baths! Not only are they a vital part of my skincare, but also one of my favorite ways to wind down after a hard day. As for my favorite scent... I like anything earthy or floral, but I really like eucalyptus and jasmine.

❌: My sister Quinta loved to tell me to stop "galavanting with young lovers, dressing like a sorority girl (Wouldn't you believe she wore even less on the pageant circuit...)" really, just living my life. If my skincare and procedures did their job, then why should I hide myself away and quilt and "bingo" or whatever "old biddies" are supposed to do? Hell, I recall she had the same stuff done, even just so we stay looking alike. Since she's more concerned about appearances than my own well being... I'd listen to my own parents over her if they were still here. I'd listen to my brother in law, friends, Plutarch too, but none of that means I'm bowing completely.

🏳️: When there's absolutely no other way or someone would get hurt. I didn't get this far in the fashion world, no, in life, just to give up at the slightest problem.

📖: I guess I'm a little cliche for this, but I really like romance novels... Especially the trashy ones. Plutarch's been trying to get me into the philosophy and government stuff he likes, but they're much more fun to read with him than alone. He makes them very easy to understand and he's so cute when he's all passionate like that. Sadly, I don't have a lot of time to read... Even now I'm awfully busy.

⛸️: Mm, I'm not a big sports girl. I used to do some roller skating when I was younger, but that was only a phase. Unfortunately most of the "sporting events" I've been around for were rather... Barbaric. Hopefully there'll be something a lot less violent on in the near future.

😷: I don't get sick very often, I actually do my best to stay healthy. When I do, I try to stay home so I don't pass it on, no one wants that after all! If I must go out, I'll wear a mask, and I might if I hear about something going around. I've got a few cute ones on standby, so I don't mind at all.

🥼: Ugh, thankfully no. I haven't worn a uniform since that hideous thing I had to wear at the Academy, and believe me, the minute I graduated, I cut it up for scraps. I doubt I'll be wearing one now, but if I had to go back in time and change it, I'd keep the pants and skirt separate, change that awful blue mandarin to a white button down, and add a gold tie or scarf. That would at least fix the damn thing.

🥂: I like to be surrounded by my loved ones, maybe pop a bottle or two, enjoy some good food, music, and dancing. I've been raised to believe that life isn't worth living without any joy, and what's better than everything that makes me happy close after a great thing?

🛴: I have a car (A gorgeous pink roadster with fins!) to get to further parts of the city in less official capacity, but otherwise Plutarch and I also have drivers. I like to say I do my best, but urban drivers are the worst!

🕰️: I check my handheld most of the time, but sometimes I also have a fashionable watch on my wrist.

🥰: I'd have to say the biggest thing is acknowledgement, actually listening to what I have to say and taking an interest. I'm used to people marvelling at the surface, but it can get old, especially when those people's intentions aren't always the greatest. Actually listening to me, though? That's rare and I just adore it.

🐇: I guess I used to, but just between us, I wasn't exactly sober for most of that time... Plus even a lot of my spiritual side withered away with the world.

🎺: I really like psychedelic rock and synth wave. A bit of indie too. I don't play any instruments, I think I might be tone deaf I'm afraid. One of my exes let me try his saxophone once... It didn't end too well. Thankfully, that's not why we broke up.

💿: Oils, I guess? I don't really collect anything like that, but I do collect certain oils, some to burn as incense, some to use on my skin and in baths, some just to sniff.

🧋: I like a nice pink lady. If you mean non alcohol, I like both coffee and tea. The coffee I'll take both ways, but I like my tea hot. I like a nice chamomile and I take my coffee with cream and one spoonful of sugar.

🌻 random in-character questions

an ask game where, instead of replying from your perspective, you answer as if it's your original character/muse/self-insert/etc. answering the question ✨

🌧️ "When outside during the rain, do you use a raincoat, an umbrella, or something else? Do you enjoy rain?"

🍳 "Are you a good cook? Do you enjoy cooking? What's your favorite thing to cook?"

🧼 "Do you prefer to take a shower during the morning or evening? Do you like taking baths? What's your favorite scent of shower gel?"

❌ "Would you do something that someone told you not to do? Why? Is there someone you'd actually listen to more than everyone else?"

🏳️ "What will make you give up?"

📖 "What kinds of books do you read? Do you have a lot of time to read?"

⛸️ "What's your favorite kind of sport? Do you follow sports closely or don't care at all?"

😷 "How often do you get sick? Do you stay at home when sick or do you end up going outside to, say, get some groceries? If you go outside, would you wear a mask?"

🥼 "Do you have to wear a uniform somewhere? If yes, how do you feel about it? If no, what kind of uniform would you love to wear?"

🥂 "How do you celebrate you accomplishments?"

🛴 "What's your preferred way of getting somewhere - own car, public transport, a bicycle, or something else? How well do you follow the traffic rules?"

🕰️ "What do you use to check what time it is?"

🥰 "What would make you feel happy and loved?"

🐇 "Do you believe in other dimensions?"

🎺 "What kind of music do you mostly listen to? Do you know how to play an instrument, and if not, which one would you want to learn to play?"

💽 "Do you collect anything? Why?"

🧋 "What's your go-to thing to drink? Do you prefer cold or hot drinks?"