#nonmonogomous

[irisesinyoureyes]

i feel like i'm in monogamy conversion therapy. like is polyamory just the new bad thing people with conservative values want us to stop doing.

idk i feel not monogamous enough nor polyamorous enough. i think i want sexual monogamy but queerplatonic relationships and non-sexual physical affection with friends. i don't see what's so wrong with that. but my current therapist seems to think that's bad.

i think the reason i was emotionally abused in my last relationship was because i was so isolated. i felt like i couldn't tell anyone i was in an open relationship for fear of being judged and cut off. but in not being open about what i was doing in my relationships, i was manipulated.

this just feels like the thing parents say when you come out to them "i don't want your life to be hard." and it's like, yeah you know who makes it hard? unsupportive people. if we offer more support and resources to people who are figuring things out maybe those people wouldn't have such a hard life.

ughh idk i'm just annoyed rn

[kyrlazasmorcota]

Today I'm writing as Kashi (My Masc Side),

Heya Everyone! The kitsune is just going to ramble at ya for a bit! ^_^ For this first post after my introduction post, I'd like to talk about a few things that are important to me. Not going to go too deep in this first post, but just a little bit at least and what it really means to me. These are things mentioned in my introduction post, I just wanted to go into a few things a little more.

POLYAMORY This is something that has become something really important to me, it's something that is fairly new to me too. Just like with being many letters of the LGBTQ+ it was something I felt long before I even knew it. I being polyam as a part of my identity as closely as being part of the LGBTQ+ and I'm not thoroughly sure how a lot of people feel on the manner. It's something that's really important to me, there's a lot that gets misconstrued about polyam and not a lot of people outside the community is really educated on it, so misinformation is pretty wild. I guess for me, I never had an attachment to exclusivity in an relationship and even longed for more connections. Having more deeper connections where everyone was on the same page, I didn't have that clear picture of what it was before I learned of polyam, but when I did learn of it, I knew that was what I was feeling. It isn't a choice for me, I need to have the option to have more connections, It's a part of my identity...I AM POLYAMOUS right down to my core ^^

MY THING I mentioned in my introduction post that my life motto is: Life Is Too Short To Be Normal! That's something I want to try to live by the best that I can. I've been working on goofy things to do online and other places as well. I'm not even sure how some of these things even got started like being The High Priestess/Sage/Priest Of The Great Shiny! All obey the Great Shiny! Came from really ^^ Among other things, I've been putting things up elsewhere as well, have been in the past and in the present....Will do in the future as well, working on whatever else I can do. But even in IRL, I want to try to live by this motto, I think it's a good one ^_^

Anyway! I hope you enjoyed the rambling! Here's some dark cookies provided by the Rainbow Goblins! Obey the Great Shiny! And all that! From the Priest of The Great Shiny! ^_^ Much Love From Kashi Of The Craziness!! ^_^

[mafiaownedgaybar]

i've yet to make an intro post, so here we go ! ✨️

hello ! my name is jay.

im a libra, i was born in 1999 and ever since ive just been a silly little guy. my pronouns are strictly they/them ! im quite effeminate, transmasc + nonbinary, pre anything and everything.

i am bisexual and nonmonogomous. i do have a preference for men or masculine presenting folks, but i also love femmes ! pretty hair is my catnip. if you have long or curly hair hmu, gorgeous >:3

im a leftist, a nontheistic satanist (ex baptist), and a queer punk from texas - yeehaw ! i am a caregiver within my immediate family.

my interests are wide and tend to fluctuate, but two constants are my terminal obsession with adventure time and my love for horror themed content ! i also like to draw and play with makeups in my spare time, but im not very good at it. my favorite genre of music is folkpunk, and my favorite band is AJJ 🤘

that's all i can think to share for now, but i'll probably edit this post at some point in the future. if you're still here, thank you for taking the time to read this ! you're a doll ✨️

cheers !

[androgynealienfemme]

"Raging Butch Publisher: The Lesbian Tide Meanwhile, life on my own newspaper, the Lesbian Tide, was a study in lesbian contradiction and feminist paradox. How did a raging butch get to be publisher of the nation's premiere lesbian-feminist paper of the seventies? Like much of the turbulent seventies, it was a dialectic accident. I snuck in the back door.

In 1971, when DOB abbreviated my "communist" (Women against the War) presidency, they offered me the booby prize of remaining on the Board of Officers by holding the lowest position- newsletter editor. I accepted. I'd been editor of my high school paper; I knew the power of the press. From here, as Marx would say, it was just a hop, skip, and a job as this editor collided with herstory. I changed the name of my four-page mimeograph from the DOB Newsletter to the Lesbian Tide, because I could feel the tide of herstory changing. The whole world was.

Realizing its mistake, the DOB membership soon voted me and my communist tide out of the organization. Politically, I'd been gone for months already. But I was now free to invite my lesbian-feminist soul mates onto the staff.

The makes of the not-so-collective Tide Collective reflected the infra-chaos of our movement. In addition to my paradoxical self, there was an archetypical lesbian-come-lately (from heterosexuality) feminist femme, co-editor Sharon McDonald; our very own politically correct Vassar white girl, Shirl Buss (who later processed her own organization, White Women against White Women against White Women against Racism, to death); an old-gay femme, Barbara Gehrke, a former navy woman who thought women's liberation meant changing laws to make women free (poor dear!); and a bisexual, Cheri Lesh, who also must have crept in some window simply because she was a great writer. Lesh taught me that there were indeed a small percentage of human beings who did not find gender a factor in sexual attraction.

My ten-year indenture, 1970 to 1980, to the Tide and this outrageous family of women helped me survive lesbian-feminism. With our Vassar analysis editor, Buss, I completed my studies in lesbian-feminist language: androgynous was synonym for butch; cheating on your lover was called "having a nonmonogomous relationship"; and "role-playing" was "consciousness raising." Learning all these new things was called "networking" or "skill building" depending on the environment you were studying. And, of course, fighting for your identity, even unsuccessfully, was called "processing."

As the undercover butch publisher of the Lesbian Tide, I edited major features such as "Are Roles Really Dead?" and quoted myself as the anonymous "Marianne" (pretty femme, pretty clever) - defender of the now ancient heritage of butchdom. I survived through coups and controversy, not the least of which was whether the Lesbian Tide was a "lesbian-feminist" publication or a "feminist lesbian" publication.

Lesbians of the nineties might rightly wonder why their foremothers spent three years in this ridiculous semantic debate when they could have been proclaiming "Queer Power" on the "Donahue Show." What can I say? It seemed important at the time. I was a dyke long before I learned to spell feminism, so I was adamant that no Jennie-Come-Lately politic was going to give my lesbianism second billing as a descriptive adjective. i was not just a feminist who happened to be a lesbian. That would be as silly as calling myself a butch feminist. Somewhere in my gut I knew feminism had both saved me and shoved me back into the closet. Feminism rescued women, but it subverted lesbianism."

Butches, Lies, and Feminism" by Jeanne Cordova, The Persistent Desire, (edited by Joan Nestle) (1992)

[skincareroutine]

my fav thing to talk to myself just to be clear i do this when im alone. i try to say stuff like. “we’re in a consenting nonmonogomous foursome and half of us are vegan” i try so hard to keep a straight face

[t3st0st3rone]

I am transgender and nonbinary. I prefer they/them pronouns but am okay with others most of the time. Mostly attracted to women, sometimes other nonbinary people. I am masc, and I am mostly into fem individuals. I am polyamorus and nonmonogomous.

I am technically a switch, and reblog things that show this, but irl I am msotly dominant, even with most if my partners. Very few people could ever dom me. And I'm definitely not looking for ppl on Tumblr to dom me.

I will not be dating you if you are heterosexual, just bc I reblog content posted by heterosexuals. I prolly won't respond to most DMs anyway, but especially to anyone tryna dominate me.

I'm not attracted to men at all. Men (cis or trans) can follow and repost, but if you message me for romantic or sexual things, ESPECIALLY trying to dom me, I will block you. I reblog kinky things that turn me on, not bc I'm attracted to the men in the posts. Irl, any involvement I have with men, I am always dominant. I am not interested in romance with men.

I'm not a sissy. Anyone who messages me calling me that will be blocked, regardless of gender. Same with detrans or anything like that.

[lickithrice]

Are you and your partner poly and/or nonmonogomous?

Nope. Been solidly dating for 5 months now. It’s something I’ve wondered if he’s cared about as he also likes girls. So, I sometimes play with the thought of us having a girlfriend. 😆 but like really, I’m just being extra.

[confirmedcannibal]

Callout: @mothheart

Ok this is going to be a three parter because this "bestie" of mine has me fucked up.

Part 1: Boundaries

It's almost like Ceceil respects my boundaries. It's kinda fucked up. As a tumblr user you should push other people to be uncomfotably but here we have a user who dorsny do yhat?? Um what the fuck???

Part 2: Shipping

Ships their OCs with mine from time to time. Sorry bestie but my characters in an open relationshop don't want to be nonmonogomous! Sorry!

Part 3: Inconsistency

You claim your name is Miles yet just let me call you Cecil. Which is it??

So boytom line don't follow this tumblr user thnx

[gentlekitchenwitch]

I really,don't,know what poly means??

Oh, polyam means polyamourous. It means that I am in an ethically nonmonogomous relationship. My spouse and I have been nonmonogomous for most of our relationship. We date outside of out marriage and I have 2 relationships outside of my spouse.

I don't believe one person can be my everything and fill my every need. But many people are polyamourous for their own reasons. I hope that helps!

[cowvboyenema]

im normal as FUCK bro #averagecore #basicdave #nonmonogomous

[d1sc0rd1a]

1a) While there is a possibility that this sexual expression is being consistently done in a healthy and respectful manner, it is also possible that Charlie is overindulging in his sexuality in an unhealthy manner; and it is ultimately left ambiguous. The fact that "bitches always know" can be taken as a possible indicator that Charlie's actions are consensual, however it is equally likely said bitches did not learn this fact due to healthy communication (where the conversation was already on the topic of sexual preferences and Charlie's desires were relevant to the discussion), in which case Charlie's expression would not follow healthy boundaries.

1b) This is not an example of healthy nonmonogamy. Charlie having a singular girlfriend shows that he was (most likely) attempting a monogamous relationship. Him ending his relationship so that he can pursue multiple partners indicates his current girlfriend would not consent to a nonmonogomous relationship. Him feeling like he has to be intoxicated while ending things, as well as scheduling his action for a time another person is not around to see it (a person who may disagree with his actions) both imply his actions are not mentally healthy.

Review Question:

1a) In Hollywood Undead's hit single "Everywhere I Go" Charlie Scene sings:

Everywhere I go/

Bitches always know/

That Charlie Scene/

Has a got a weenie/

that he loves to show/

Is this an expression of healthy boundaries and sexuality? Answer in complete sentences.

1b)Later in the song, he sings

Gotta get drunk/

before my mom wakes up/

Break up with my girlfriend/

So I can bang sluts/

Is this Ethical Nonmongamy? Explain your reasoning.

[ramblingsofanewb]

Since i last posted, my partner has been going through a mental health crisis and needed to feel safe and secure. We agreed to have all non monogamous and relationship work pause for the time being. Im maintaining a platonic relationship with this other person. Its difficult. I feel sad about them slipping away. Im definitely working through some feelings about it. Mostly I just feel lonely. And horny lol. But Im sure thats just the T.

[wtfimqueer]

It's so difficult to express my identities.

Like, yeah I'm a lesbian. But that leaves a lot out. And even though I'm a lesbian, I don't identify with gender and my partner essentially makes the concept of gender explode so...there's that. Plus, I mean, I don't experience sexual attraction, but I love women. Any type of women, but mostly women who challenge my preconceived notions of what being a woman means. And then maybe we are gonna get another partner in there, too?

How the fuck am I supposed to say all of that, in the correct terms, in a casual conversation?

I just wanna be queer. When I say, "I'm queer," I want people to say "okay" and move on.

Can we get there as a society? Like, soon.

[thepolyamorouspolymath]

I know at least some of you are men who date women and I have to ask, what is the thought process I how you conduct yourselves? I mean, honestly!

Talking to a guy online and I mentioned I have severe insomnia. He suggested masturbating or having sex.

First, what does he think is going to put me to sleep, an orgasm or semen? Because those two things frequently do not go together for women -- I mean they do for me, but he doesn't know that because he doesn't know me, so one assumes this is just advice he'd give to a woman.

Second, does he think I have somehow reached my late 30s with children having never noticed if an orgasm makes me sleepy? No, I've only had sex once and it was in early afternoon and then I got up and did dishes...

He told me not to take that the wrong way. I think incredibly offended is actually the right way, but I'm not sure if I'm offended by him trying to mansain insomnia or by the inappropriate nature of his suggestion. It's a toss up.

I said no, that does not help, because I wanted to see where he went with it.

He asked if I squirt because maybe that'd help.

...

Gentleman, has any woman ever asked you to measure how much cum you produce? If not, you should not ask her this question. That's the rule now, don't ask a woman about her bodily fluids until she asks about yours.

In a truly stellar moment, he goes on -- I'm not sure why, because I certainly did not encourage him with my complete and utter lack of response -- to tell me that a man's cum is the best treatment for depression...

Oh honey, no. There are so many things wrong with that idea. First, I never said I was depressed. Second, I promise you, semen is not magically absorbed through your cervix (because while he did not say it had to be applied vaginally, it was strongly implied) into your blood stream to be carried to your brain and your stomach to adjust your neurotransmitters. That is literally impossible. Second, suggesting that a woman has any use for your cum implies that you're going to skip a condom and that is not something you want to make people think when trying to pick them up as strangers, for a couple different reasons which should not require an explanation.

(My favorite, though, was him saying that this mystical power of cum was well known in Asia for centuries. Having an Asian husband, I can say that this is categorically NOT TRUE.)

He then asked for my number so we could text. And when I did not respond instantly, wanted to know if I was busy.

No, I just find you gross and creepy and want to wash my eyeballs out after reading that. I finally did respond to say that, albeit in a nicer fashion. (Not much nicer, but a pinch.)

This is only the most recent in a long list of inappropriate men.

There was a guy who told me he'd insist I find a job when I said I wasn't working. Excuse me? Followed by an immediate question of how I pay my bills. I cannot imagine how that would ever be anyone's business but mine unless I asked them to chip in. Not lewd but the control issues and invasion of privacy are still absolutely gross.

There was the guy who was asking me about my reading list. That seems safe and reasonable enough. Nope, he just wanted to judge my book choices and gatekeep whether I was a real fantasy fan. Thought I should be happy to have his approval. Sir, someone like you approving of any of my choices is actually the opposite of what I shoot for in life -- my aim is to piss off as many assholes as possible, I wake up asking "how can I ruin the most cishet white men's days today?" every single day.

Then there was the passive aggressive demand for a response guy. I dont think I even need to go in to detail.

Those are just the ones who annoyed me TODAY.

A guy messaged me about astrology, and because insomnia was the topic of the day, tried to fix it by suggesting melatonin. Not really offensive except for I said I had chronic severe insomnia that I had tried everything for and the man thought I was so goddamn stupid as to have not thought of that. If I tell you I have tried prescription sleep meds, you can be damn sure that yes, I have tried melatonin along with everything else because shrinks are fucking stingy with the good ones so you HAVE to have tried everything. He seemed sincere and was very engaged with a G rated conversation, so I'm gonna let that slide, though.

I'm not angry so much as confused. I just don't understand this behavior from men, because I do not remember the last guy I talked to who didn't cross so many blatant boundaries. These men are my age, so I know it's not a "kids today..." thing. Have you all lost all socialization skills from being in a pandemic and avoiding human contact for a year and a half? What's happening here?

It's not my profile because other than updating pictures (same type and quality of images), it has not changed. I thought maybe *I* had gone stir crazy and just lost all patience because I've been very reclusive since the clusterfuck over the summer, but I talked to my friends earlier and no, those conversations are the same, I'm precisely the same level of irritable.

If you have any explanation (I'm open to fucking crazy theories, btw), please let me know, because at this rate I'm kind of in despair how the human race while manage to continue procreating.

[13infinity13]

[polyfidelityparamour]

Polyam Feels #119

Your partner realizing they aren't exactly polyamorous, but aren't exactly monogamous and yet they still want to be exclusive.