#none of you understand how important this is to me like. holy shit

[whumpy-wyrms]

hey guys

[kick-a-long]

so let me get this straight. elon musk retweeted or tweeted an antisemitic comment (because he's an antisemitic asshole from a very antisemitic country south africa) and he was critizised to the point that he took a trip to israel to like reflect and learn about how jews don't eat babies or whatever. but...

Ta-Nehisi Coates, an antisemitic asshole who's antisemitic dad also publishes antisemitic books just one's he's too lazy to write, says in person, recorded on video, without retraction.... that he would join in on the rape, murder, infanticide, and kidnapping of jews, if given the chance... and trevor noah (from very antisemitic country south africa) agreed whole heartedly and adding that it's like the american revolution.... which implies that isreal rode into gaza and lebanon ans was dictating how those countries operate and taking taxes which is WHAT IRAN DOES THROUGH HAMAS AND HEZBOLLAH ALONG WITH THE RAPES AND MURDERS... but there's no media outlet saying that might be kind of fucked up and maybe they should apologize or some vague insincere bullshit... I'm sorry?

and also Christopher Columbus... THE symbol for Catholics in America (which is why we that monster even got his own day. literally catholics, the knights of columbus, wanted a celebration of how interconnected the united states and CATHOLICS are) the Christopher columbus with MASSIVE statues around the globe in portugal, spain, america, italy... that guy is now jewish, just like hitler, because .... he has some jewish DNA. and we are just disregarding his recorded actions, relationship to the church, his very catholic life, lifestyle, origins, and catholic life.

and all this during the jewish christmas/ramidan (because goyim don't know what the fuck our high holy days are even if that name alone should tell you exactly how important they are) ??

which idiots are these things for? who is watching the ta interview and saying to themselves, "boy i would love to read the book by the guy who loves murder and kidnapping and rape! what a leftist humanitarian!" or, "WOW! I hate christopher columbus I'm so glad i don't have to feel guilty as a christian that he was under orders by my church because he was obviously a jew going rouge. because i'm a leftist but also a devout catholic? which is a thing that is a totally consistent world view?"

Who asked for this? I don't think this kind of shit is even for antisemitic leftists anymore. this is for some kind of POC leftist white supremesist with white guilt but also an arab supremasist .... i guess that might describe one or two very mentally ill people but... like ... who? is this stuff to get rage clicks from jews? there aren't that many jews you guys. I have no fucking understanding of these people's world's view other than they hate jews. none of this makes sense in any other way than to attack and increase attacks on jews around the globe. it's so mentally confusing because none of these people are saying anything that benefits them in anyway, nothing that is smart or true, nothing that makes sense if it is not generated directly from the thought, "this will increase jew hate, so i should do it!"

these people are risking their careers, being hella racist about arabs generally and Palistinians specifically, making both jews and arabs less safe, saying inflammatory things they obviously spent very little time thinking about, for the chance to normalize antisemitism. what planet are these media orgs even living on? they don't sound like nazis, they sound like fucking delusional Qanon derps who are improving "the day of the storm" ironically like the segments they show on the daily show, with TREVOR NOAH.

it's like really... sad. like, these guys and scientist have wasted so many people's time and their own talents which people tell me they have i guess, but it's sad that this kind of libel from the media doesn't even make sense to people who don't live on twitter.

[diamonds-of-the-first-water]

I Have Evolving Thoughts on Fran’s Sexuality

(god hannah dodd is so pretty)

First of all let’s thank GOD francesca is the queer sister and not…that other one.

Anyways upon my initial viewing of part 2 I definitely read Fran as bisexual and if you continue to read her as such I think that’s fine but my mind has changed on the matter.

I believe that Fran is actually a lesbian suffering from comphet.

The reason this actually started to seem likely to me is because of her wedding scene with John. The whole season I thought they seemed so taken with one another and I enjoyed their quiet dynamic. They were more than comfortable sitting in silence with one another and seemed to grow closer in that way.

I like many others assumed this meant their love was romantic, but that kiss

Would a woman who is attracted to men make this face after kissing the man she loves? I don’t think so. Some people seem to think it’s because she’s shy but it doesn’t seem like she’s even thinking about her family here. It seems like she has retreated into her own thoughts. It seems like she was disappointed. And after spending the whole season feeling nothing for any of the men she meets why wouldn’t she be. She met a man she loved and she kissed him and she didn’t feel those sparks.

Now Fran is also autistic coded so this initially affected the way I viewed her relationships as well, but all of that changes when you take into account Michaela.

Francesca immediately starts to stutter and is flustered when she sees Michaela. We have never seen Fran act this way with a man, even her husband. It wasn’t for no reason that Violet describes how she felt the first time she fell in love with Edmund and then almost immediately after Fran reacts the same way to Michaela. The butterflies, not being able to string a sentence together. This was foreshadowing.

Some people were upset because they said it erased everything Fran said about having a quiet love and that is somewhat true, but I disagree with people saying that it erases slowly built love when Polin’s whole story is about love not striking you like a bolt of lightning.

None of this is to say she can’t love John, I believe she does I just feel it is platonic, and the loss of John would hit hard even if he was her best friend. John is one of the great loves of her life but who is to say that love is romantic? Friendships are the foundation of our lives and they are equally as important as any romantic relationship. Fran met someone who understands her and is like her, that doesn’t mean she has to have romantic attraction for him.

Some of this is affected by personal bias as I am a late-blooming lesbian, but holy shit the way I relate to Fran wanting to get married just because it would mean she wouldn’t have to pursue any other relationships with men and the way she was willing to accept whoever the Queen deemed fit because she didn’t have any criteria except “is kind to me”. Fran does not seem to be searching for love as she has not felt it before. The closest she comes is with John because the two of them are so similar and I believe she thought that because she liked him so much that she must be in love with him which is just so…lesbian coded I don’t know how to explain it.

This isn’t to say bisexuality isn’t real or is “just a phase”. Ew. Gross. No. This is just the way I am interpreting the character with the information we have now. If it comes out definitely that she is bisexual then I will accept that, sapphic rep is so needed.

All in all they look so good and I can’t wait to see these queers kiss and have a romance.

Also I think that Michaela still could have fallen first. Fran just realized she was a dyke at that exact moment and her brain stopped working which is valid. But did you see the way Michaela looked at her. I KNOW A LESBIAN FALLING IN LOVE WHEN I SEE ONE.

[maxwell-grant]

The Penguin Episode 4: Cent'anni Breakdown

She goes through all these different levels of all these different personas: excellent daughter, overachiever, and this horrific feral state in Arkham. And it's not until the yellow dress that she finds the one that fits.

Kind of like sharks can't stop moving or they sink. It's that relentless pursuit of justice.

This changes her forever. She never comes back. Something so much bigger than her takes over in order to survive - Cristin Milioti

This was pointed out to me by my friend and, show of hands everyone, who else thinks it's unbelievably fucking sick that it is Sofia who gets to show up at the Falcone dinner table, wearing a thematically appropriate embodiment of her childhood trauma, and do a "None of you are safe" speech?

(Episode 1) (Episode 2) (Episode 3) (Episode 5) (Episode 6) (Episode 7) (Episode 8)

It probably felt odd to spend time with Sofia when we’re in a show called The Penguin. But I think it’s just as important so you can understand Oz psychologically. Even though I don’t view Oz as a hero or a villain, he is a greater villain in the show than anyone else. And for you to feel that way, I think you have to understand his primary antagonist more. And that’s Sofia.” - Lauren LeFranc

I gotta say I'm generally not enthusiastic about Penguin being depicted as overtly disgusting, like drooling and eating raw fish and all that Burton stuff (actually I do think the black bile is cool, but only so far as as that version goes), but for that opening scene, that was a spectacularly well-placed bit of grossness. Like this sheer craven animalistic ugliness of DeVito's Penguin descending for a second to show us how Sofia sees Oz, and even how right she is to do so at the moment because holy shit hahahahahaha

From what we can see of Sofia's pre-Arkham life, she was basically the Meadow Soprano of the family: The smart, overachieving golden child, whose social standing and eligitibility for leadership wouldn't even be up for debate if she was born a man like her loser brother (love AJ, relate uncomfortably to AJ, he's not at all morally comparable to Alberto, but he is very much a loser). Socially conscious and sticking up for victims but only if you don't poke too closely at her victim-generating family business, aware of some things but willfully blind to her own hypocrisy and insistent that daddy is still in average a good man who isn't as bad as people around her may say he is. I'd even say that the Sofia we see here is a more moral person than Meadow, although obviously being the daughter of Carmine Falcone is a much scarier, more isolating and horrific prospect than growing up the daughter of Tony Soprano (the ways in which the two Sopranos kids diverged and majorly prefigured American socio-political developments that kicked off after the show is a topic for another post).

(Also, I don't really want to bring up Sopranos comparisons because the shows are similar, they're really not, but I finished The Sopranos yesterday so they're gonna come up still)

I think Mark Strong does a really good job here filling in for John Turturro's role, even if he's not quite as good in it as Turturro. I think he plays the character differently in a way that works really well for this being a past version of Carmine, filtered through Sofia's vision. He is imposing and quiet and mighty, a lone titan of unquestionable power over the entire world, not even remotely someone to be defied or displeased. Turturro's Falcone was charismatic and affable and oozing with unspeakable yet casual cruelty, and I would have liked that here, but I like the idea that we're seeing a Carmine from before he was invincible, when he still needed Sofia to help him get Congressman Hill on the phone and still worried about the future of the family at Alberto's hands, a Carmine from when the Maronis were still around and he wasn't the sole ruling power in Gotham, who could still possibly lose even without vigilante intervention.

He is larger, more imposing, a stern and stoic father who had little use for pleasantries, and with no mirth to be had at the expense of the little people who think they can do anything against him that matters, even if he is getting there. I think the difference here adds a nice little arc to Carmine: there was a time where he needed to keep up appearences, there was a time where he raised his voice above a whisper to get things done, and there was a time where he wasn't the real mayor of Gotham. There was a time where he was a "proper" Don, when he acted like his comics counterpart, and none of that really became necessary over the following decade, when he grew more and more invincible and isolated and comfortable in this nightmare he made the city into.

They also confirm here that apparently the Iceberg Lounge/44 Below existed way back when Oz was just Sofia's driver, and it was already Carmine's prostitute slaughterhouse even then and Alberto knew about it. Possibly explains why Oz was handed the club in the first place, because the Falcones already called him Sofia's penguin and putting The Penguin in charge of the Iceberg Lounge would fit their idea of a laugh (and given how much Oz hates being called Penguin, he would hardly come up with the name himself)

Lmao, those dog comparisons I keep making really don't stop justifying themselves.

Credit again to Mike Marino and the prosthetics team for this younger Oz make-up, he strikes a very nice middleground between current Oz and the one we see as a kid.

Really like what we see of Sofia and Oz's dynamic here, again reinforcing that for all intents and purposes he was the sidekick in her HBO protagonist life. We see how Sofia likes his company and how she even kinda defends him from the family, but she really cannot bring herself to respect him very much and disdains him from the same very upper-class perspective the rest of the family does, she's just nicer about it. And in turn we see parts of where Oz's resentment to her comes from, and also the extent to which Oz was always lying in wait for an opportunity to get ahead regardless of her, his justified grievances as well as him being a conniving fuck. The really thin line this treads though, is that it establishes that neither of them were lying about how they meant something to each other, even if it doesn't help.

Sofia did have her life ruined partially because of Oz, she did endure horrific things while he got a promotion because he ratted her out to Carmine, and he very much did in part because he wanted to get ahead and saw an opportunity to do so. But also, Oz genuinely had no idea that this is what Carmine would do, and I think in large part this was also about keeping himself safe. It's not even that unbelievable that he was genuinely looking out for her, because holy shit you do not talk to the press about Carmine Falcone, daughter or not, and he tried warning her in the car before she rebuffed him and insulted him pretty deep for good measure. If Sofia talked to the press and would not stop talking (since he didn't know in the car that she rebuffed Gleeson) and shit started happening because of her snooping around, he would have absolutely gotten punished/murdered for it, it is not at all a stretch to assume that Carmine would have done something to Oz as punishment to Sofia.

Oz didn't plan any kind of misfortune, at no point did he mastermind her admission into Arkham (or even help keep her there with the letters, like the rest of the family), he just told Carmine something he shouldn't have, and neither of them expected anything too terrible was gonna come out of it. They both wildly underestimated what a complete scumbag Carmine is, but with Carmine (and the others) gone, there's nobody else to turn those grievances to.

Even if Oz could claim deniability for the Arkham thing, which he kinda can't but Sofia even tried to grant him anyway, he sure as shit can't for everything else he does in the opening minutes.

Oh hey it's Mr Mustache With The Broken Nose.

A thing that came to mind when I was watching the episode was the story of Rosemary Kennedy, JFK's sister whose father arranged for her to be institutionalized and lobotomized at age 23 as a reponse to "difficult" behavior. I'm not recounting it in more detail here because the rest of it is just too horrific, look it up yourself if you're curious. I remembered it because reading about Rosemary Kennedy ruined my fucking day and it still pumps up the breaks in my train of thought every now and then, so it came to mind watching this story about a young woman horrifically institutionalized and butchered for the sake of her wealthy family's image. Later I heard the podcast, and turns out that actually was exactly what Lauren LeFranc based Sofia's story on, which was nice. I'm glad it also fucks Lauren LeFranc up and that we both agree she should have gotten to wreak revenge on the entire family over it, thank you Penguin Show that continues to be made for me, this was nice.

Oh hey, Magpie. Just the name, yeah, but that was another nice surprise. I used to have a bit of a soft spot for Magpie, occasionally I thought there was something to get out of her and Penguin together, so a part of me likes that they put Magpie in The Penguin show even if just in name. Yes, she only exists to be annoying and die, but that's what she already tends to do anyway. And y'know, much as I may like her, she is still a John Byrne character, so she doesn't really deserve much more than that

Jesus Christ this episode gets uncomfortable.

I like that this establishes that Julian Rush kinda did make an effort to help her and kinda felt bad about it, but not nearly enough, and that he is very much a complicit contemptible creep who has it coming as much as any of the people who put Sofia in there.

Cannot state enough how much I appreciate that they didn't put any actual named Batman villains in the Arkham Asylum episode, guarantee a lot of creators would not resist the temptation. I mean okay I guess there is a Ventris already in Batman but, come on, you know who I mean. This did not need any references to like, Jeremiah Arkham or Jonathan Crane or Hugo Strange or any of that, and that's not a diss on any of those guys, it's just that unlike pretty much every other Batman story, this episode does not undercut it's point about the horrific institutional horrors dehumanizing and destroying Sofia by pinning it on a chief boogeyman supervillain that Batman is going to fight later. Dr. Ventris is not responsible for the systemic rot that got her there nor is he the sole orchestrator/perpetrator of the abuse it's inmates suffer, he simply answers to those, and thus perpetuates them, by doing his job in a mental institution.

I am still haunted by the inmate committing suicide with a fork. It is so fucked up that Sofia was tortured and goaded by the doctors into murdering another inmate, and when that failed, they tortured her again and again and again until she snapped. The whole point was to push Sofia beyond the breaking point to justify further incarceration. The doctors just standing there letting her kill Magpie.

I want Dr.Rush to die.

I have more thoughts on Arkham, but I'd call this the most horrific take on Arkham so far, because it is the most honest take on Arkham so far. Even at it's most run-down and monstrous, it is usually never at all into question that Arkham Asylum is necessary, because if it wasn't there, all the crazies would run rampant in Gotham. Over the years, it's monstrousness has always been tied directly and specifically to it's inmates, and whenever people have pointed out the shoddy conditions and inhospitable environment of Arkham as a factor for repeat offenders, it's pretty much always as a fandom joke outside of Batman stories proper, and if there is anything wrong with the way the Asylum works, it is always the fault of particularly evil villains attached. A Lock-Up, a Jeremiah Arkham, a Hugo Strange, etc. Arkham Asylum is in general a Batman concept that's raised a lot of discussions and calls for revision over the years, and a lot of the issues with it tie into larger issues around superhero depictions of the carceral system, that @artbyblastweave went into here.

Here, in large part because this is a realistic world and a Gotham without a rampaging supervillain contingent of repeat offenders who can magically break out constantly, it is never into question that the patients are the victims of this system, and if they are being turned into potential supervillains, it is because of Arkham inflicting this on them. This is an Arkham Asylum that remains a nightmarish, horrific force in this world, but not because it's Castle Dracula where all the crazy villains hang out, not even just because the rest of Gotham is hopelessly rotten and corrupt, but because it's a mental institution and depicted accordingly. It gets to dig into the real life horrors mental institutions inflict on it's patients without having to justify those measures as benign or necessary to keep crazy crimes from happening. Frankly, this take on Arkham Asylum has been long overdue.

In every form of Batman media, just about the worst thing that can happen at any given moment is Arkham Asylum falling and it's inmates escaping into the streets, that's generally what happens when Batman needs to deal with apocalyptic stakes (which is why of course it happens all the fucking time now). Here, that scenario would be regarded with cheer, because the worst thing that can happen in this universe is being sent to Arkham Asylum. It isn't just Batman's unofficial personal prison / punching gallery, if anything it massively raises the stakes on this Batman's next adventures, because now we know this is what's waiting for him if he gets caught and unmasked.

I like that Sofia and Oz are both trying to save/protect those they see as younger versions of themselves, while inflicting on them the kinds of tragedies that ultimately created them

Oz reached out to this poor disabled kid from the streets and is showing him the ropes, while also belittling him as a nobody and distorting his worldview and dragging him into life or death cornered scrapdog situations chipping away at his morals. Sofia saves her little niece who laughs at bad table manners and doesn't quite do what her family says, gently lulling her to sleep so she can kill her mom and her entire family.

Extremely important that Sofia Falcone makes her formal arrival as a villain by showing up dressed in a sexy yet fitting extension of her trauma / cultural reference (The Yellow Wallpaper / the walls in her mother's bedroom), before putting on a mask and enacting Gotham's first Mass Casualty Gas Attack, we love to see it.

I was frankly already calling Sofia one of my favorite Bat-villains even before this episode, I'm just glad everyone seems to be on the same page with me now. I'm seeing a lot of posts on Twitter and Instagram talking about how they're rooting for Sofia instead of Oz, that she deserves to win this war, and good, fucking amazing that they're doing this, again, this show is hitting home runs I could not have foreseen.

It is incredible what a character they've made out of Sofia, and the fact that we now see Oz as her antagonist as much as we see Sofia as his, and the fact that if Penguin wins, he will win this as a villain. He will steal a victory he does not deserve and rub it in your face and he will make the children of the world cry for it as any villain worth his name should be doing, and it frankly wouldn't be much of a fight if Sofia wasn't every bit the complicated, engaging protagonist he is. Lauren LeFranc claimed that she sees Sofia is the closest the show has to a hero even if she is not, and this is the episode that sold everyone on it.

Halfway through the show and it's only gotten better and better, can't wait for what's coming next.

[yl0w]

PAGE 5 :: CHAPTER 1

<< PREV | NEXT >>

cover page and title reveal! both of which im going to probably redo again and again cuzz:

i have a massive perfectionism problem and i need to tell myself

"this is not going to be perfect!"

its probably going to suck ass!

more than anything, this weird comic will be a playground for me to experiment like heck. a fun place to make mistakes, and learn! the dialogue might feel cheap, the art might look scrappy, but im learning all along the way

the quality of the pages will probably fluctuate since il try my best to just. keep. drawing. and posting pages, even if i cant quite polish them

i love comics, but ive never really committed to one before. id hate to take forever to finish my first one! this is only my first, and i dont want it to be my last. :>

THAT BEING SAID: i spent a LONG time working on the lore holy shit

okay BUT WHY "RAINBOW FACTORY"?

because i love it duh! i want to use this comic to express just how aggressively that song and fanfic captured my imagination. a love letter to edgy "grimdark" fics that i never grew out of!

what do you mean "AN RF REMIX"? this isn't a song!

this story will involve all the parts of the original that made it Rainbow Factory, but it wont be a retelling of that same story. i like to think of it as a "remix" because it takes the concept of the rainbow factory and all the cool stuff about the pegasi and spectra and spins it into a different direction (which hopefully turns out to be interesting...)

that also means that none of the events that happened in the original fanfic happens here, unless stated so in this story!

(however, i will say that this story sticks closer to the lyrics of the songs, rather than the fanfics by the original author. and none of the sequels of the original fanfic are important to the lore of this story)

basically, you probably dont need to have read the original fics to understand whats going on here :v

so yea ! !

come along while i lose my mind over rainbows and horses :DD

(aaand if youve read this far i deem you worthy of a peek at the kid who kept runnig)

lyrics from "The Wolf" by Siamés

[aguineapigcouldntdothis]

part of becoming a jewish adult is realizing all those lessons your parents/guardians/mentors drilled into your head about emergency packs and always being ready to run were about the chance you'd have to escape bc of antisemitism. all that shit that was framed as "fun games" or "important life lessons totally not related to the fact that youll probably experience really bad antisemitism someday" was just preparing us for jew hatred all along.

my childhood was my brother and i being shown how to decorate for pesach. none of the decorations were ever visible from any windows. it was my grandma moving her old, beaten up menorah to a shelf instead of proudly displayed in front of her window because it "just looks better here!". it was when my brother and i first noticed how our family members that wore the magen david would tuck it into their shirts when strangers knocked on the door.

the first lessons i was taught were to care about life and to not be cruel to others. after that, it was how to lie, how to run, how to fight, and when to shut up. i imagine now having to tell my brother's future kids the same things. it seems like such a hard thing to do, to tell beloved and starry-eyed jewish children that each and every life is sacred, but their life wont be treated the same way. to have to hide lessons about survivals under the guise of fun games of hide and seek. to have to choose at what moment you reveal the extent of antisemitism to them and watch as the illusion of safety shatters, or worse, when it doesnt. because if it doesnt that means the child understands already?

anyway, i still have an emergency pack. its got enough to survive for me and a couple others. because despite all this we are staying the fuck alive even if that means some of us have to run away in a shitty old toyota. holy shit we're tired yet still: am yisrael chai

[dawnthefox24]

have you ever wondered how Cassidy got into chess? Well guess who introduced it to him! Was none other then Vivian Chase herself!

*Sojourn is watching Cassidy for a moment and is wondering to herself if he could play chess with her cause she's bored and would like a challenge*

Sojourn: *walks over to Jack* Hey Morrison I need to borrow Cassidy for a moment.

Jack:...Why?

Sojourn: Trust me it's really important! I have some...training for him as well since well you, Ana, and Reyes need a break from him.

Young Cassidy: Hey! Jack:...What is it that is so important? Sojourn: It's a strategy importance... Jack:... Sojourn:... Jack:*sighs* Fine take him. Sojourn: Thank you, come along Cole. Young Cassidy:*fallows her*Where are we going? Sojourn: Do you want to play a game with me? Young Cassidy:..Does it involve torture? If so then I'm going back to training with Jack. Sojourn: Wha-NO!? Young Cassidy: Then what is it? Sojourn: Do you want me to teach you how to play chess? Young Cassidy:...Why? Sojourn: Because my sister sucks at playing it. Emre talks to much, Jack always loses and Reyes...Reyes throws the board off the table... Young Cassidy: What about Ana? Sojourn: I have total respect for her Young Cassidy: Same, alright I'll play chess. Sojourn: Great come along then! Young Cassidy:*fallows her* Alright lead the way. *Sojourn takes Cassidy to the kitchen as he watches her set up a the chess board and put the pieces in their respected places before sitting down * Sojourn: Do I need to teach you about each piece? Young Cassidy: *looks at the chess pieces* Yeah, please tell me. Sojourn: Alright so each of the two players begins with the following sixteen pieces 1 king, 1 queen, 2 rooks, 2 bishops,2 knights,8 pawns. *Sojourn soon explains how to play chess with Cassidy making sure that he understands*(Cause I'm not typing all of that down btw) * Sojourn: Got it? Young Cassidy:*nods* Yeah I've got it. Sojourn: alright let's play *Two hours later* Young Cassidy: *takes Sojourn last piece* Checkmate again. Sojourn:* is in shock* HOLY SHIT! Your amazing! I thought you got lucky the first time but this is the 5th time you've beaten me in chess! Young Cassidy:...I'm a fast learner... Sojourn: You have to beat Jack in chess I have to see it! Young Cassidy:...Can I at least prank him? Sojourn:*looks at him and nods* Yeah you can prank him, holy shit I have to call Ana.

[thatbadadvice]

Help! All These Boring, Ugly Bitches Won't Hang Out With Me

Care and Feeding, Slate, 23 January 23:

Dear Care and Feeding: I live in the very lonely overlap of a Venn diagram, and I need help figuring out how to fix it. To keep it short, I’m a mom who was on the fence about having kids, so I’m not a very ‘mom-y’ mom. My kid isn’t my life or my identity, and while I think I’m a caring and attentive parent, I’m not the primary parent, and I like it that way. I lost most of my non-parent friends when I had my kid. However, my appearance and interests still very much scream “non-parent.” My kid is off-putting to the people most like me (many are overtly judgmental), but my looks and lifestyle are off-putting to other moms (for example, I prioritize my appearance, have a lot of tattoos, and value my work). This has left me very lonely and isolated. Finding friends as an adult is so hard, so please don’t suggest “finding my people” as I’m very extroverted and have been trying to make new friends for years. It’s not working. If I’m honest, I think my childless friends think I’m stupid for having a kid, while my mom acquaintances are jealous of my appearance and judge my choices. It really sucks. —The Worst Venn Diagram

Dear The Worst Venn Diagram,

Holy shit, a mom ... but with tattoos? Is that even possible? You think you've heard everything at a gig like this, but then someone as incredible as you comes along with such an unusual life story! What a remarkable woman you are.

I can see why it would be difficult for someone as hot and interesting as you to make meaningful connections when you yourself are so special and have a lot of tattoos, and moms are always so ugly and boring and worthless and don't have any tattoos, let alone a lot of them. It might help take the sting off to reframe it this way: it's actually a much bigger bummer that all those sad, frumpy mommy-bots are missing out on an amazing opportunity to befriend a mom with tattoos. Can you imagine how enriched their lives would be if they could get over themselves for just one minute and try to understand you as a person, rather than making a bunch of generalizations and assumptions based on surface-level observations? But here they are, writing you off as soon as they see how beautiful and covered in tattoos you are when you walk around with your important briefcase from work. It's really their loss.

You're practically a unicorn! I mean, okay — unicorn is hyperbole. But you get what I'm saying! You're probably one of a handful of women anywhere who has a kid and also cares about the way she looks, and when you add in the fact that you work and have just so, so many tattoos? I don't know, unicorn might not be far off.

In light of that, you've set for yourself a really hard task here. It's not going to be made easier by the fact that the dull and homely stay-at-home moms who stupidly chose to contribute nothing worthwhile to society are being so judgmental about the way you live your life as a gorgeous, professional cool girl who just happens to have a kid. You have such a neat and fun lifestyle and other women don't! Why should you be punished for being a valuable person who, more importantly, values herself, unlike the other moms, who look like absolute shit and never have anything interesting to say and don't have tattoos and are so mean and critical of your choices and the way you look?

Never forget this: you are exceptional. It's not such a mystery that you've been trying so unsuccessfully to make friends for so long. Of course you can't "find your people." There are none. You're a sexy mom with tattoos and a job, and that's always going to be hard for the two kinds of women on earth to understand, whether they're the kind of woman who is a judgy, child-free asshole or the other kind of woman: a jealous, kid-obsessed mommy zombie.

You are one of one — wild and precious and brave and free and so, so pretty, and with so many tattoos. You must never let motherhood define you — only everyone else.

[phantomdialogue]

˗ˏˋ. ݁₊ ✶ ˖ 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐲 𝐚𝐥𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐳𝐞𝐥𝐰𝐨𝐨𝐝 - 𝟓.𝟓/𝟓 ☆ . ݁ ˖ˎˊ˗

premise: elsie hannaway needs a stable, well-paying job to escape a life of endless fake dates and teaching undergraduates in order to live. jack smith-turner meets elsie when she's playing the role of his brother's girlfriend… only to meet her again as she interviews for a faculty role at MIT. confused by her separate lives, jack ends up tangled amongst them while elsie deciphers how best to take jack down to get the job she so desperately wants.

couple: jonathan (jack) smith-turner and elsie hannaway

tropes: stem romance, workplace (ish) romance, rivals to lovers, (kind of) one bed, miscommunication

review below!

review:

oh, ali hazelwood, i was not familiar with your game. i am obsessed with this book and this couple and it's one of the few books that i feel like i could reread happily. admittedly, i had picked up this book originally back in january but only made it a few chapters before setting it down and simply forgetting to continue it. HOWEVER oh i wish i had picked it back up back then so badly because whatever reason i set it down originally was completely gone this time around. i fell in love with ali hazelwood's writing and her characters and the warmth and authenticity of the world she builds.

jack. smith. turner. holy shit. he's my number one book boyfriend of the year. that's crazy for me to say out loud because i've read 3 emily henry books this year but jack smith-turner did something to me. he's hot. he's smart. he's selfless. he's kind. he's a little tortured. he's just the perfect example of all the things that make up a good book boyfriend rolled into one. his relationship with elsie is truly so fun to read and seeing the way he understands her on levels she hasn't been understood before just continues to make you long for a fictional man. the way he cares so deeply about the people important to him in life makes you love him even more and i wish i could read another book with him in it.

elsie hannaway. i loved elsie. she felt so real and relatable (almost painfully so) and like someone you could meet and know in real life. she wasn't the annoying kind of fmc where she's insecure and unsure of herself just because that's "who she is" but rather because she has reason to be. watching her be uncomfortable around jack who is so sure of himself and encourages her to be solely who/what she wants was wonderful. her banter with all of the characters but most specifically jack is so well written and feels natural for them. she's a bright light in the book despite how dark she feels inside.

overall, this was a very pleasant surprise to end november with and i only wish i had read it sooner because it's truly that good. i'll have to go ahead and do an ali hazelwood binge to end the year and i'm already looking forward to her next book in february!

q & a:

are they endgame? - these two... i adore these two. i think they really become such a strong couple in this book and it's not one where i go away thinking that they've got anything to work on really. we see how much elsie has grown and how much they've grown around each other to encapsulate one another in their lives. jack feels like a very stable mmc where we don't question anything with him. he is how he is and that's not going to change and that's a good thing. i think that they both have such a way with each other and it will keep them as endgame.

did i cringe? - there are some silly physics/stem moments but i think it makes you laugh more than ever cringe. ali hazelwood has some funny character moments but none that stand out extremely in a bad way. they are "quirky" more than being "cringey" and it works for her style and characterization. the little bubble of her books in the modern world is well crafted and feels realistic rather than an uneducated guess at an academia setting.

favorite part? - ali hazelwood has become another author where i'm obsessed with her characters. i loved every one of them. i talked about jack and elsie obviously but i think the side characters also add so much warmth to this book. i adore greg and he's such a great representation of someone on the aroace spectrum. he's so understanding of jack and what kind of brother he is. cece is a fun character to put alongside elsie. they are both opposites and yet work so well together. their moment at the end of the book felt so great in really instilling so much faith in their friendship despite their differences. millicent's relationship with jack brought so much to his character and the story as well. the side characters make the story feel more authentic and realistic in the best way and i truly adored them.

least favorite part? - my one little nitpick is the pacing and even that i'm not truly complaining about. you could see how confused i was when we hit what i figured would be the biggest conflict of the book at only 50% through. but even then, i don't have a full problem with it because i love where the book went after that as well. i think it just makes for a slightly odd feeling at the halfway mark but when you're thinking of the book as a whole, there really is no big problem with it. it's the only reason this is 5.5 stars instead of 6 stars honestly.

favorite quotes (some spoilers here, of course, but minimal):

I’d give everyone the me they wanted, needed, craved, and in exchange they’d care about me.

“Elsie?” My name, again. Said like the universe made that word for him alone.

“Code-switching has nothing to do with erasing who you are and twisting what’s left of you."

“Not everyone wants you to be someone else, Elsie.” He’s wrong about that, but I can smell his skin. It’s good in a way that’s primeval. Almost evolutionary. I hate it. “And I definitely wouldn’t want you to be George.” “And why is that?” He presses his lips together. He’s even closer now. Surprisingly earnest. “It would be a waste.” “A waste of what?” “Of you.”

The electron to my nucleus, constantly spinning around me in the most annoying of orbits.

“Bold of you to assume that the real me is my best hand.” That stupid, crooked half smile is back. “Foolish of you to think it isn’t.”

“Because this is not your character arc, Elsie. More like a . . . character bump.”

"I’d love to know what you’re thinking.” “I think a lot about how much I hate you,” I say with no conviction. “I think a lot about how much you hate me, too.”

I didn’t know who you were till last week. Aside from the girl Jack talks about when he gets drunk.

“I’m at my most comfortable around you,” I say. And then, because honesty: “And also at my least. But that’s because you’re an asshole, and unlikely to ever change.”

“Don’t let me fall asleep,” I yawn into his neck. “We’re supposed to be doing it.” “We are. We’re going at it like animals. Just close your eyes.”

All the Elsies I’ve created to fit all the worlds I’ve inhabited, all the people in them. He’s stripping them off me one by one, like he has since the day we met.

There’s something unsaid in this. Because I want to know your life, maybe, or Because I want to know you.

I wonder if it’ll ever end. I wonder if all these beautiful, momentous things I feel for him will ever settle into something ordinary. I can’t imagine they will.

[chainsandcherries]

ok i am b'edibled so bare with me but: i am having a good day and i realize i am protecting this from myself. like i'm refusing to give myself a reason to feel like i don't deserve a good day every once in a while, or that i secretly fucked something up & the rug will be yanked so i should feel guilty for this mysterious and in all reality unlikely professional/social/emotional gaffe.

which reminded me of how i got here:

(talk of anxiety, mental health and weed below)

a million years ago, on a different lifetime of mine, someone told me that weed will make anxiety worse, and i was instantly afraid to ever partake because What Do Mean This Could Be Worse. (a/n: refusing to smoke weed is v funny introspect considering the everything else i put my body through at the time 💀) a chunk of time and some peer pressure later, i became a d.a r.e. dropout for real: i'd said "fuck it" and rolled the dice to see if that was true. and it is! sometimes!

like about two years ago i ruined christmas because i had one of the worst panic attacks of my life when i ate 100mg of D9 bc i misread the label and thought there was 25mg in the entire cookie. oopsie!

so i looked it up, and my understanding was that one if the side effects of thc is increased heart rate, which lends itself to heightened anxiety! so from then on, whenever i started to feel anxious while stoned i would tell myself like "it's just a physical reaction, not mental. there's no reason other than a side effect. you're okay. you're okay." and that reminds me to stop looking for a reason to be anxious, and eventually i stop flipping through my mental rolodex of What Ifs and Remember Whens.

eventually i started to do this when i'm not stoned, too - if i start feeling my anxiety ramp up, i take a moment to sit with myself and ask why this could be happening.

did i actually piss someone off? if they haven't said anything, it's none of my business. if they haven't said anything, it's because they like/respect me more than whatever i did to wrong them, and that is a more important takeaway - you're loved even if you fuck up. is what i'm upset about within my control? if not, then let it go & deal with it as it happens if it happens. if it is, what can i do in this moment, go do that. if someone else was this upset over that scenario, what would you say to them? is this reaction i'm having proportional to the potential issue? is this actually happening or are you preparing, and why do you need to?

in today's case, i asked myself why i won't allow myself to be okay? why do i always feel like i need to have something wrong? like with love & peace girl shut up and enjoy feeling happy. you want it for everyone else, want it for yourself too.

and holy shit wouldn't you know it: it helps SO much. it's not 100% foolproof, but less anxiety is less anxiety. i carry my anxiety like a security blanket and though it is heavy i've had it my whole life, and i don't know who i could be without it. and oh my god do i want to meet her.

anyways i'm rambling so my whole point is: i do this so often now that working through whatever i'm upset about is getting quicker & easier. it's no longer a conscious choice i make to start going over these questions with myself! everyone's a wip and over the last couple of years i've been working a lot on myself. figuring out a way to get my own anxiety in check is one of the biggest accomplishments i think?

i'm proud of myself :)

[zoobus]

Not a lot of boy centered otome mobile games out there in English, which means recommendations are usually bad because within that limited pool, none of them are actually alike beyond being a probable attraction to men. Here's what I played in the desperate hope of fulfilling the same hole Obey Me did for me.

Love and Deepspace: the new girl on the block. Allegedly breaking ground by being for girls and you beat up aliens. Extremely well made, tons of money poured into it, boring. Lots of reviews in that "I'm giving it 5 stars because I want to prove women are worth this kind of investment and/or are interested in action dating sims!" vein.

If I'm honest, I've realized no brown skinned dateables = no interest, so there was no chance I would care about this game. I tried though!

Twisted Wonderland: Despite how often I heard "if you liked OM, you should play Twisted Wonderland," the two aren't alike beyond surface level. It's an all right time passer, especially the vignettes. I have more fun mentally comparing them than anything - I could probably write a whole post about how despite similar premises, they're clearly not even after the same demographic, plus all the things each excel at, PLUS all the things I wish OM had copied. Why the hell does the Disney property understand the importance of deranged anime boy diversity, but the fucking 7 deadly sin dating simulator does not?

I also enjoyed watching my character tier-list change in real time. It starts off like I think these guys are the hottest, so I'll probably like them the most (Leona, Jamil, Malleus, Professor Male!Cruella) -> Okay, seeing this guy in action made me realize how cute he is (Azul) -> hahaha holy shit, this guy rocks (Rook, Azul, Jade) -> Your good looks will not save you from dropping tiers after that stupid story (Leona) ->...but a horny-coded vignette might (Leona and Vil)

Also, the story is kind of terrible, so I've been ignoring it. "What if we gave all of our hot guys tragic backstories that contradict the premise of the game (Disney villains won in this universe and are idolized for their actions) and were just kind of. Needlessly pathetic. In an embarrassing way."

Lovebrush Chronicles: Tried to care. Could not. Sorry.

Nu Carnivale: Love how it jumps straight into you getting a blowjob from demons but the second they pulled that card based battle system out, I was done. I'm sorry, I can't do this.

What in Hell is Bad: I'm not done with this. I will try again. But I am truly baffled by their battle system. No idea what was happening or how I won. Also, the one sex scene I read was cringe and bad.

Mystic Messenger: I saw my own review for the game timestamped to 2016 and withered up. I did love it though.

[saturn-sends-hugs]

OK, finally writing out my thoughts for ep9 (cause MAN AM I EMOTIONALLY DRAINED RN 😭)

Honestly this is gonna be more of a character deep dive of how they’re all functioning post ep8 but HERE WE GO

(spoilers under the cut)

First off, oh. my. god.

I’ve seen some people saying that episode was filler and to that I say WHERE. Did you see all that character development??? Like yes we didn’t get a big Empire plot or anything but like??? Hello???

This episode was SO important for so many reasons:

First off, Echo is gONE AAAAAA 😭😭😭 Was i devastated? yeah, maybe, a little bit, but i was fully expecting this episode to just brush past that and it DIDN’T.

I feel like much of the time Echo seemed almost unnecessary (stick with me here). You have this elite clone squad with all these enhancements and skills, so what are they gonna do with this fifth member? This always felt like a theme for me, especially in fics, that Echo would feel like an extra and struggle to find his place in the squad (Which isn’t true, he’s very necessary, but until now that’s been hard to see).

After Crosshair leaves, it changes a bit. The Batch is used to working with only four members, so although losing Crosshair obviously shook them, they held together (in part because they had to focus on Omega and other things). So here, Echo can step in and fill Crosshairs role somewhat as lookout or copilot or whatever, and he always backs up the others in their roles as well.

Echo is a good friend to Wrecker, able to joke around in ways Hunter (as the leader) and Tech (just not jokey in that way) can’t. He’s there for Hunter as Corporal; second in command and just generally another leading figure (like in season one when Hunter is captured and he leads the Batch through Kamino). Echo backs Tech up in pretty much every way, like just generally knowing what Tech is talking about and how to help (copiloting, ship maintenance, brother handling, etc). And of course, Echo is so so good with Omega. He teaches her to use her bow, he knows how to be a bit more disciplined than Hunter while still being super attentive and sweet, he is simply Mom™️.

And then he leaves.

Not gonna get too deep into that because we all know his reasoning, but while I expected this episode to focus on the Batch working without him, I didn’t expect them to show us how they struggle once he’s gone. Because holy shit they do.

Obviously, Omega is most noticeably affected. She’s struggling with a part of her family, someone she never wanted to think of leaving, being gone now. But the others are struggling too, and that’s only making things worse. Wrecker and Tech are fighting, which although she’s somewhat used to that, this time they’re not stopping. Hunter isn’t doing anything about it either, and none of them are saying anything about Echo being gone. She’s thrown off, no one is acting like themselves (because they’re missing Echo too although she can’t see it yet), and oh right, THEY JUST LOST THE MARAUDER.

But now for the others.

The minute they stepped off the Marauder in this episode, they felt wrong. And none of them really mentioned it or outwardly showed it that much, but they missed Echo too.

Wrecker was off. He’s stuck with just Hunter, Tech and Omega now, and he’s being affected by all their emotions. In the past, Crosshair was who he could joke around with, a role Echo filled afterwards. Now, Hunter and Tech just don’t fill that role, and while Omega might normally, right now she’s definitely not feeling up to it. He’s sensing the tension there, and everyone’s emotions are just setting him on edge, so he’s getting rowdier, more argumentative. He doesn’t mean to be, but he’s upset and he’s struggling.

Next, Hunter is doing what he always does: trying to move on. He’s not ignoring it per se, and I’m not the best at understanding Hunter, but it seems like he’s just trying to keep the team going. And again, it’s more of a challenge without Echo. The fights that used to spark up, Echo would help handle. Or better yet, they wouldn’t be real fights because Wrecker and Tech wouldn’t be so on edge. Hunter is struggling to keep them on track without him, especially with so many other factors at play (Omega being upset, new dangerous mission from Cid, Marauder is gone, how much more can go wrong wait no Mr Filoni please don’t answer that).

And of course, Tech misses Echo. Yeah, he seems really cold and uncaring in this episode at first glance, but OMG that is the furthest from the truth. I honestly think Tech is struggling the most without Echo to fill in that fourth role. Tech always tends to want everything working smoothly, and without the help of a fourth member, Tech is really stretching himself in order to accommodate. And on top of that, he just really misses Echo. When Omega tries to call Echo, Tech immediately knows he won’t respond because his comms are off. And why might he know that?? Well to me it seems like Tech already tried calling him, probably long before Omega did 🥲

Tech in this episode is just at the end of his rope. He’s way less lenient than he might normally be with Echo around, because now he feels like it’s on him to almost be that “second in command”. Normally, Tech can just focus on his work and let the others handle themselves/each other. So when Wrecker drops the case in this episode, normally Tech would trust him to have it handled, and they’d all move on. Instead, Tech takes the case himself. To me this is pretty familiar cause ahem autism, which is a very fitting trait for Mr “I process things differently but I still feel just as much” Tech to have. I struggle to let people get things wrong, and at this point, on edge and pushing himself too hard, Tech is so over it that he decides the only way to get it done is to do it himself.

Edit cause damnit tumblr didn’t save for some reason but basically up until now, we haven’t truly seen how much Echo does for this squad. Yes obviously we’ve seen that they all love and appreciate him, but now that he’s gone we’re truly seeing how important he is, and I just think that’s so so good to see!!! He’s not just the Mom that keeps them from fighting, he’s also just a genuinely necessary and important member with his own role in keeping this squad together.

Basically, ECHO YOU BETTER GET BACK HERE RN I STG—

(no but really, they genuinely do need him 🥲)

So yes, Echo left and the Batch needs Mom back. But it’s not just because Echo was the responsible one with brain cells (although thats also true), it’s also because he is genuinely a necessary part of this group, not just an honorary member to fill in space for Crosshair. We saw in this episode what happens when you take him out of the equation, and it was bad. That right there made just me happy because despite him being gone, it was very clear that nothing would just be “fine” without him, and the batch needs him way more than he probably thinks 🥲🥲🥲

Ok uh I didn’t mean for that to be so long bUT LISTEN, I just think there was so much to that episode and I could talk abt it for HOURS, THEY NEED THEIR BROTHERRRR

[callmearcturus]

aw yeah lets do this

S-Tier, AKA the Legitimately Good Tier:

HAWKEYE: Maybe my favorite MCU thing I have ever watched.

+ If you let Jeremy Renner actually act and give him a script, he's fucking great. + Kate Bishop is a perfect mess and I love her, I love she's young and excitable but also takes things seriously, she feels like she's a work in progress, I love her. + MAYA. Holy shit the gravity well of this character, how her presence dictates any scene she is in. Truly stellar. + This entire miniseries is like an extended apology for Hawkeye in every other appearance. "Sorry we dropped the ball with this character so consistently, we will bring the A game here." + The importance of disability. I'm among the ppl who was upset that Hawkeye's disability was dropped, so the way it is centered over and over and over in this, how its practical, how it's funny, how it's sad, how it gives us the most devastatingly emotional scene in all of the MCU yes I am talking about the phone call scene, finally. Fucking finally. + Florence fucking Pugh and her entire charm offensive. + The car chase scene.

- The first episode is unfortunately REALLY slow. - Nah that's all I got. I love this one.

THOR: RAGNAROK

+ "Asgard isn't a place, it's a people" is maybe the most poignant message any MCU film has ever managed. + Literally the funniest movie, but also basically a repair job of character building for everyone in it. + The camerawork in this one makes me so happy. + Tom Hiddleston is given so much to do and he's there with heels on, spectacular. + The giant turret/pegging visual pun, god bless. + Cate Blanchett can kill me.

- uuuuuuuuh. It's not as good as Hawkeye. Yeah.

GOTG Vol 2

+ Sorry but I am a GOTG Truther, I really do think its the one storyline in the MCU that is allowed to get away with really fucking intense character drama because it's not considered "main line." There is a reason ppl rioted when they tried to remove Gunn, and I'm with them. + The only good thing Chris Pratt has done since Parks and Rec. + The way this storyline centers on death and grief is devastating. + Rocket Racoon is the best character in the MCU and we all know it.

- I think the initial treatment of Mantis is REALLY rough even though in the end I think it works, but that's a hell of a hump to get over.

A-TIER, AKA the Great for a MCU Flick Tier:

BLACK PANTHER

+ My biggest problem with the MCU is the creative desert of its set and costume design, the way it feels like nothing is given time to breathe in the creative process. BP is the antithesis of that. I would watch a four hour documentary just on the visual design of this movie, from the architecture to the costumes to the make-up, everything. I don't want to hear from the director or writers, I want to hear four hours of just the craftspeople talking about their work. It's monumental. + Best Villain in the MCU, bar none. + Only MCU film to move me to actual tears in the movie theatre.

- I loved this movie! For the life of me I could not tell you the plot. I understand the plot of every Mission Impossible film but I don't know the plot of this movie. - If this movie was allowed to cut, like, 20 minutes of action and replace it with more character drama, it'd be the best MCU film.

IRON MAN 3

+ The MCU Movie That Pulls Exactly Zero Punches About Being About Mental Health And PTSD Holy Shit + Rhodey and Pepper get so much to do and I like an ensemble piece so much + Shane Black is in love with RDJ and I'm so happy for him + Pepper gets to be a lil monsterfied and that's hot

- Doesn't have Sam Rockwell. - The plot is kinda fully secondary to the character work, which imo is fine, but yanno.

GOTG Vol 1

+ All the stuff I said about GOTG Vol 1

- It's not Vol 2, which benefits from having all the bedrock foundation built by this movie to spring from.

B-TIER, AKA It's Fine I Guess:

IRON MAN 1

It's good! It invented the wheel! Part of it are fucking agonizingly painful to watch in 2023 but it also has more heart than 80% of the franchise so.

IN A CAVE. WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS.

LOKI

Okay it feels shitty of me to judge this one on its technical faults bc apparently it was shot during the pandemic and that causes a lot of the issues with the camerawork, the awkward editing, and just how Weird everything was put together. But also it's REALLY stilted and awkward, which butts up against the good script and the better acting, so IDK man.

Owen Wilson is amazing. Even my mother thought the way they canonized Loki being bi was a cop-out. And the final twist pissed me off. I hope Season 2 is better.

THOR 1

I DUNNO WHAT TO TELL YOU, BUT KENNETH BRANAGH UNDERSTOOD THE ASSIGNMENT.

DR STRANGE AND THE MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS

This movie is a mess but once i figured out it was trying to be The MCU Does Gothic Horror, I was a lot more on board. It has all the flaws of the original Dr Strange and is hard to visually follow like most MCU films, but also has America Chavez, who I adore.

IRON MAN 2

It has Sam Rockwell, I don't give a fuck.

C-TIER, AKA I wish I cared but I do not 8C

DR STRANGE

I dunno I like the actual character of Strange weirdly, I like what a complete fucking asshole he is, I like his god complex and how he reacts to his disability as a surgeon. On the other hand what the fuck is Tilda Swinton doing here, this is just awful. My biggest issue with this film is that it didn't have to be this terrible but every decision made about it feels so fucking thoughtless and myopic.

WANDAVISION

yanno. i cannot even explain why i fell off this so hard. Like, this one Had Me all the way up to and including the Agatha reveal, but like the final episodes after that reveal somehow left me completely cold and uncaring. it's genuinely weird.

D-TIER, AKA Oh my god no thank you

AVENGERS

I hate the writing. Like, I haaaaate the writing. I feel like the only likeable relationship in this is Tony and Bruce, and that does not carry this movie. The quip-driven writing, the way the need for a joke supercedes naturalistic voices and dialogue making sense, it pisses me off. I hate the writing. Heartless movie.

BLACK WIDOW

oh my god i'm actively angry at this movie okay because for the first 20 minutes, I was like "wait, is this going to be a real movie," because it felt smaller, the action felt more realistic, that fight between the Widow and Yelena in the beginning felt like it could have been out of MI: Fallout, and the other fight between Natasha and Yelena in the safehouse was also good, I really thought for a few moments that this could be Good

and then it just took a hard right into The MCU Tries And Fails To Make MI: Fallout (They Even Stole The Mask Gag, What The Fuck Was That) and not only was I disappointed, I was like retroactively pissed for the 20 minutes when I had hope in my heart. If not for David Harbour's character, I would have just left in the middle of this movie.

AVENGERS: ENDGAME

Its not at bad as Infinity War! Nebula and Rocket carried this movie on their fucking backs. But what do I know, I liked Renner's mohawk of sadness.

F-Tier, AKA Fuck This Movie

INFINITY WAR

Fuck this movie with a rusted steel dildo, fuck this entire fucking movie, I despise it. The writing is so actively fucking terrible I want to fistfight whoever is responsible. I fucking hate the attempts to humanize Thanos over how sad he is about the daughter he abused and then murdered, boo fucking hoo, I hate the joylessness of the superhero combinations, I hate the quip-driven writing, I hate this movie with a burning passion. This might be one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Soulless and destitute.

[wallsmacada]

I just finished reading The Children of Memory by Adrian Tchaikovsky and I desperately need to vent my thoughts about it but I’m putting it all under the read more cause holy shit

Spoilers under the cut, if you wanna read the books (which I highly recommend) then maybe don’t read this lol

I’m continuously amazed by just, everything in his books? It’s all so interconnected and all so beautifully human and alien and comforting and strange all at the same time, and I was seriously thrown for a loop in children of memory and it took me awhile to appreciate it all

At first I was like none of this makes any sense and each section is filled with things contradicting even stuff in its own section, like with Miranda telling people she was from the out farms and then later her arriving on the shuttle with Holt, and for a while there I kinda got lost in the inconsistencies, but I could tell that it was all building up to something and it all felt important so I stuck with it

And the reveal with the simulation was just sgdbdgacdfavsv I can’t even begin to say how much I loved that because I mean, how beautiful is that? Something that’s so completely alien to us that we can’t even begin to understand took the time to understand holt and his crew even as they were dying. And then it took the time to plot out how their civilization might have gone and it remembered and it cherished and it feels like, in that remembering, it *loved*

And the replaying of Landfall is absolutely wild to me, cause it’s kind of horrific that it’s playing out the end of this community over and over again, especially with Liff starving and being alone in the end, but at the same time it’s like, it feels a lot like grief, if that makes sense? You love something so much even though it’s only in your life for a short time, and you love it to the point where you keep going back to it and replaying everything you know about it, and in the replaying you replay the loss but you also replay what made it all so beautiful

And the machine didn’t have anything but the brief hopes and dreams of the key crew before they crashed and it fucking *ran* with that and helped it blossom into something, however brief that was

And Miranda’s whole relationship to the town and to the people there, even before she landed (or tried to anyway) was so beautiful and caring too, and her whole conflict was absolutely amazing to read and I just !!!!!!!!

And can I just say that the whole trilogy was so interconnected and so complex within each book and I can’t even begin to comprehend the planning that must have gone into this?? Everything was important, nothing got left behind, everything was loved and there were so many connecting threads

I’m still reeling so everything is all a bit jumbled but I’m just gonna end by saying that I love Avrana Kern my beloved fucked up blorbo

[brasideios]

I really should stop paying attention to the AI stuff but this is seriously getting to me; so much so that I’m considering quitting writing altogether.

I’ve been digging into my thoughts about this lately and I wanted to break it down a little here; to explain to myself, as well as you poor souls who engage with my bullshit, why I think AI fundamentally sucks and why I’m struggling to find a way to share my work anymore.

It begins with the fact that I strongly dislike the entire concept of traditional publishing.

In a nutshell, publishing houses get to decide what you, the consumer, will read, always based on what will be popular and make them the most money. They have the power to decide what you can’t read, what you shouldn’t read.

How many excellent stories have never been published because they weren’t riding the zeitgeist?

Millions. Millions.

And let’s not get into the ridiculously low percentage of income an author makes from a book published by a traditional publisher. Holy shit, it’s appalling.

Even as an indie author I earn about 32c for every $12USD sale of an ebook at best, and it is much, much worse through a publishing house.

Anyway. I digress.

In my opinion, all stories have a place, a meaning for the people who are listening for them, which is why finding the fanfiction world was so amazing to me.

Every voice here has an equal chance of being heard, and equally, we all have a chance to find the story we’ve been looking for. No one can stop you from publishing whatever it is you feel compelled to say. Whatever it is that drives and moves you.

It was honestly a relief to find stories without perfect prose and grammar getting the love they rightly deserve. Stories with silly or fun premises, LGBTQ+ people taking centre stage or - *insert thing that the publishing world would never publish here* - because it makes people ‘happy’ (whatever emotional form that takes) - both to write and to read.

But that well is poisoned by the people cashing in on that work via AI scraping, making unknowing slaves of creative people - pouring their love and time into a piece of writing only to have it stolen.

And in their own way, people using AI to make stories are just as bad. They too want to take advantage of the labour of others to get some buzz of dopamine from kudos/likes or whatever, which is completely unearned and undeserved.

I’m just going to mention here, while I’m on the subject - if you’re one of those wretches feeding other people’s unfinished fics to the AI to get an ending - I hate you so much there aren’t words. You are actually the worst. I hope none of my followers would do this - but if you do, check yourself.

Moving on…

The thing is, I just can’t understand how writers especially (and not just fic writers) can’t see that AI rips out the heart of storytelling.

Writing as a process is entirely personal; it comes from inside the self. At least in my experience, the process is more important than the end result. The discovery and exploration of themes and emotions entirely your own is only to be found in the process; it can’t be replicated by a computer spitting out strings of words others wrote.

It just can’t.

And I’m just going to say this now - if you, as a writer, don’t think this is important at all - if you don’t think that coming up with ideas and developing them yourself is literally what writing is - then I honestly don’t know what you’re doing, but it isn’t writing.

Anyway (again).

Where in all of this is there a place for a writer who doesn’t want their stories to be grist for the mill, to be regurgitated in some altered, souless form and sold off as if it was someone else’s?

Who’s sick to death of putting money in some other son of a bitches pocket, while they do the work out of love and passion?

I don’t know. I just don’t know anymore.

As it stands, we are powerless to stop any of this unless we simply stop writing, or sharing that writing. That’s a miserable acknowledgment to have to make for someone who quite literally just wants to write and share those stories with others without them being stolen.

It shouldn’t be a lot to ask.

[demonsanddemogorgons]

Sunny in Philadelphia - A Joseph Quinn Story (Chapter 1)

hey everyone! I’m new to using Tumblr to post my writing but I figured I would give it a try. I have this Joe Quinn story I’ve been working on. It isn’t done and I honestly have to fight to find time to write so I don’t know if it will ever be done but I wanted to share what I have so far and I will share new chapters when/if I can write them. Hope you enjoy (: (also idk what the title is if it’s stupid, I couldn’t come up with anything better lol)

(no mature/sexual content in this part but may eventually be in future parts - Minors caution)

Chapter 1 - Photo Op Surprise

You were in line at Fan Expo Philadelphia waiting for your photo op with Joseph Quinn, who played none other than Eddie "the freak" Munson, your best friend Rachel, who also happened to be your older brother's girlfriend, by your side. You two have been friends since before they were together, matching tattoos and all, so having you as a possible future sister-in-law was a very exciting road for the both of you. She was a bit older than you, 35, the same age as your brother. She liked Stranger Things too, but she didn't quite understand the obsession you had with Joe. She supported you all the same. She hates the city and driving in it but "risked her life," as she would call it, for you to finally meet this man. Cons really weren't her thing either. She just knew how important it was for you and didn't want to leave you going alone.

"Mack, this is it. You've been waiting 6 months for this," she said as you neared the booth curtains, grabbing your arms in excitement.

"Don't remind me, I'm already shaking," you responded through a nervous giggle. You made it to the front of the line just outside the curtains. A Fan Expo worker scanned the QR code from your phone and escorted the two of you through. There was still another curtain between you and the photo booth, but it was opened by the person in front of you just enough that you got a peak at Joe. You exhaled nervously, eyes widening. "Oh my God, it's an all-black outfit today. I'm officially dead," you said to Rachel, earning a laugh from her.

"You'll be fine, just breathe."

The line kept moving forward as each person posed with him. A worker let you inside the second curtain and there were only two people ahead of you. Your hands were shaking, your breath hitched.

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God," you were whispering to what you thought was yourself, but Rachel laughing beside you let you know it was louder than you thought. The person right in front of you walked up to Joe, leaving you next in line. Your anxiety peaked and you could feel yourself sweating. Your friend stayed back to let you have your moment when it was time. The person in front of you walked away from Joe and he turned his attention to you. Those big chocolate brown eyes met yours combined with a crooked smile as you walked up to him. "Hi," you managed to force out shyly.

"Hello there," Joe said to you and put his arm around your back, starting to pose for the photo. Your skin tingled under his touch. You smiled up at him in awe and turned to the camera, wrapping an arm around his back, and placing the other hand on his stomach.

Holy shit, ABS, you thought to yourself. You could feel yourself blushing. The camera flashed and you turned to Joe.

"Thank you," you said to him quickly, trying to move along and not hold up the line.

"Enjoy your day," he replied as his arm guided you away on the small of your back, the physical contact and British accent turning your cheeks even more red. You started for the exit curtain, your friend running over to catch up.

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God," you started again once both of you were outside the curtain. Rachel laughed and started handing you your bags that you had to leave behind for the photo.

"You did it!" she squealed, grabbing your shoulder.

"I did it," you assured with a smile, your hand shaking as you reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. "Holy shit, that just happened."

"Hell yeah, it did! I feel like a proud mom," she said, earning a laugh from you.

The two of you followed the path made by curtains out of the booth area and towards the photo pick-up line. Once you were checked out by staff, you walked up to the photo table. Yours was the only one lying there at the time, and you squealed as you picked it up to get your first look at it.

"Oh my God, it looks so good!" You showed Rachel and she smiled. A huge weight was lifted off your shoulders. You didn't have the most confidence and had been worried for months that you would look like a potato standing next to Joe - if your head or body was turned an inch, it wouldn't look right because it wasn't your good angle – but it was PERFECT. You glanced down at his hand around your back and you got a little weak in the knees all over again.

"Look at you! It's so cute!" she said, pointing at your hand on his stomach. You blushed and let out a small squeal.

"I just touched Joseph Quinn's abs," you said aloud, letting out a hitched breath. Rachel laughed and whipped out her phone. Your brother's name showed on her screen. She was getting a FaceTime call. He had a way of having impeccable timing. She swiped across the screen and his face popped up.

"Hey babe, how's it going?" he asked before she could say anything. She turned her phone camera towards you and he saw you holding your photo and smiling excitedly. "Heyyyy, that's awesome! And you didn't die."

"I almost did," you exhaled with a nervous laugh. "I touched Joseph Quinn's abs," you repeated, earning a laugh from him and Rachel. You stared down at your photo as the two of them had a brief conversation since it had been a few days since they saw each other. She hung up the call and you headed towards the hallway.

You got in line at a table where protective sleeves for the photos could be purchased when someone tapped on your shoulder. You turned around to see the worker that had let you into Joe's photo booth.

"Oh, hey," you greeted her curiously, wondering what she could possibly want. She sneakily handed you a folded-up piece of paper and leaned down close to your ear.

"This is for you. From Joseph."

Those words caused your eyes to widen and your extremities to freeze in place.

"F-for me?"

"He told me to give this to the blonde girl with black glasses and white dress that just came through. Pretty sure that's you," she smiled, patting your shoulder as she walked away. You looked at Rachel with a both surprised and confused expression. She shrugged her shoulders, silently agreeing with your emotions.

"Open it," she said excitedly. You grabbed the edge of the paper, struggling to grasp it with still shaking hands. You finally managed to fold it open and there was scribbly handwriting and some numbers.

You are absolutely beautiful, darling. Text me, if I would be so lucky. -JQ

Your eyes widened as you turned to Rachel, who let out a gasp before your eyes made it to her, as she had already read it over your shoulder.

"Oh my God," you said, your voice cracking into almost a whisper.

"You HAVE to text him, Mack," she said, trying to keep her voice down since there were other fans passing close by.

You stared at the note in disbelief. Was this a prank? Am I dreaming? You hadn't pinched yourself, but it was definitely a possibility. The thought crossed your mind that it could have been written by someone else, but you looked closer at the handwriting and you knew it was his. You recognized it from seeing personalized messages he added to his autographs that other fans had shared on the internet from other conventions. As much as your brain was trying to convince you it couldn't possibly be from him, you knew it was, and that was amazing and scary at the same time. Why would he like me? I'm nothing special. He thinks I'M beautiful? HOLY SHIT. Thoughts raced through your mind until you were interrupted by your friend's voice.

"You might want to stash that somewhere before someone sees."

"Good idea," you responded, shaking your head back to reality and sticking the note in your dress pocket.

Story Master List