#none of them are perfect
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question why do you guys fight against criticism against Jared but allow criticism against Jensen and even Misha to happen. whether you like it or not but Jared algae done about it things in the past that deserves to be criticised over and donāt say he apologised because we both know he never apologised. Now I am NOT SAYING JENSEN OR MISHA IS PERFECT BECAUSE THEY ARE DEFINITELY NOT PERFECT but it seems that criticism about Jared is not allowed and mental health only matters when it comes to Jared and no one else
Yeah, youāre right anon. None of them are perfect. No one is.
That being said, the amount of hate that gets thrown Jaredās way is disproportionate compared to the hate flung at Jensen or Misha. Jaredās transgressions, which Iām sorry, are honestly minor, are never forgiven and used against him on a regular basis years after they occurred. Along with the near constant amount of people wishing death on him or his family. That is not ok. So forgive us for wanting to defend him. That doesnāt mean we donāt know heās done less than savory things in the past. We know it, weāve accepted it, heās not continued to do it and weāve moved past it. Just wish others could do the same.
While Misha could be out there killing puppies and his fans would somehow find a way to say āoh, it was just a jokeā. Mishaās behavior hasnāt been blemish free over the years. Though even the AntiMisha crowd doesnāt typically resort to death threats against him the way Jared Antiās do to him.
Jensenās fans (mainly the AA crowd), treat him like a Ken doll. They have him living in a fairy tale world where he can do no wrong. I know thatās not true, and my friends and I on SM platforms regularly discuss his shortcomings and are not afraid to call it out. We do it all the time. I am a J2 fan, but Jensen holds my heart and Iām not afraid to say heās done wrong.
Moral of the story, theyāve all done things they shouldnāt. This fandom is toxic as hell. We defend Jared a little harder because he gets it worse than anyone else and deserves it the least. Sorry not sorry on that one.
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should i just make picrews for leo and roy because at this point iāve given up trying to find irl faceclaims
#guns for hire#non writing#none of them are PERFECT#crying#if anyone has (multiple) picrews that are good please save me from my suffering#maybe if i find some good ones i'll do everybody#š«
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I feel like a lot of danmei readers often equate "selfless" with "morally correct" and that causes ..... issues
#this is about a lot of characters but specifically wwx#these characters are FLAWED yall#none of them are perfect#making mistakes is what makes them realistic and touchable#also some people have the reading comprehension of a gnat#or just.... refuse to look at nuance#especially cultural nuance#*sigh*#danmei#hot take
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It'd be so embarrassing to join a group after trying to kill their members and losing
#hardcore fighting hoyo outfit design to get this out there before it becomes outdated š¤#but i do like hearing ppl argue about which faction sunday should join#i personally think he should join none of them haha#his callous manipulation would make him good in any group. which makes him perfect for no group#but what do i know#honkai star rail#hsr sunday#hsr firefly#hsr stelle#hsr welt#hsr march 7th#hsr dan heng#hsr himeko#hsr aventurine#hsr#neapart
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hot take: people on here hold percy to WAY too high of a standard. they either refuse to accept he has a real flaw or they call him a terrible person anytime heās not the epitome of loveliness
likeā¦ heās an asshole sometimes. why canāt people see that? why canāt people accept that? we donāt have to justify everything he does. has he been an asshole to annabeth? yes. has he been an asshole to nico? yes. was he TRYING to be mean? NO. he was either upset or uninformed or focused on bigger things. does it explain it? yes. does it excuse it? no. but it doesnāt mean heās a horrible person. heās just a PERSON.
itās the same with annabeth. yes sheās prideful and condescending sometimes. okayā¦? AND?? sheās still a kinder and braver person than most of us will ever be. and same with nico. he is an amazing person but he has also done some things that are absolutely not okay. you know why? because no one is perfect. itās okay to accept that our favorite characters do bad stuff but are still good people.
THEY ARE 50% HUMAN. WHY CANāT THEY BE HUMAN?? LET THEM BE HUMAN. ITS OKAY TO NOT BE PERFECT ALL THE TIME šš
#does anyone else notice this?#like GOOD LORD#people get SO mad when i say percy can be an asshole#and then whenever the topic of nico comes up people call percy a terrible person#like???#HEāS NOT#BUT HEāS ALSO NOT PERFECT#NONE OF THEM ARE#anyway#iām gonna go take a nap#percy jackson#annabeth chase#nico di angelo#pjo#heroes of olympus#percabeth#percy jackson and the olympians#rick riordan#riordanverse
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binging drawtectives... have u seen them. have u frickin seen them!!!
#drawtectives#grendan highforge#drawtectives turns out to be perfect to draw fanart for bc all I do is putting characters in costumes like dolls anyway#grandma I love u.... york & rosƩ I love u too I will get to u soon babes#I genuinely love that theres no like. interpersonal conflict among these three at all like their stories just have none of that#everyone is so rude to them but theyre besties and they sleep in the same bed and none of them can stay mad at the others#its great. high comedy great choice#halfway thru s2... cant wait to chew thru the rest of it#Im so show rich rn got so many things to watch. Im happy as a lark
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i was listening to exclusively chappell roan while drawing this
#gravity falls#mabel pines#gravity falls fanart#for bill designs im genuinely surprised that none of them are using cyclopia. its like kind of perfect for him#anyway. i used to hate her as a kid but now i like her. autism swag#sheās like girly in a boyish way. sorry if thatās weird to say.#also sorry for waddles erasure#cw eyestrain
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The Not Ready For Prime Time Players
Saturday Night / Saturday Night Live October 11th 1975
#dan aykroyd#Dylan O'Brien#John Belushi#Matt Wood#Chevy Chase#Cory Michael Smith#Jane Curtin#Kim Matula#Garrett Morris#Lamorne Morris#Laraine Newman#Emily Fairn#Gilda Radner#Ella Hunt#Saturday Night Live#Saturday Night#Not Ready for Prime Time Players#my gifs#tv edits#tv : Sketch Comedy#Movie edits#Movies : biopic#Comedy#I'm so excited! Lamorne looks SOOO perfect!#I'm also super curious how they portray Jane#This movie taking place during the First Episode really makes it an interesting moment in time because none of them knew what to expect#Both from the show and each other#ugh I kinda wish it was gonna be a series because the first five years of SNL will always be Fascinating to me#Also Side note that tiny big of Kim as Jane... She could easily be cast as a young Madeline Kahn too... Just saying
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āCaitvi is the worst ship, itās so toxic because Caitlyn hit Viā
mind you Jayce shot a hole through Viktors chest, meanwhile Ekko and Jinx have been violent towards each other MULTIPLE times (sheās also directly murdered multiple firelights who would also have been his friends)
but ig the fandom just picks and chooses atp š
#arcane#caitvi#timebomb#jayvik#vi arcane#jinx#like none of them are perfect#that is the entire point#also the most unrealistic one is timebomb#THERE I SAID IT#the entire point of the au episode was to show what COULD have been#powder and ekko works but jinx and ekko wouldnāt#and donāt come at me for favouritism bc i love all three ships
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So you're a go to source for all things Dick&Tim bros and you tend to write primarily from Dick's POV. So, odd question, but if you were to summarize their relationship from his POV in FIVE panels which panels would you pick? Keeping in mind that one specific aspect of their relationship that you love needs to be clearly represented by each panel (loyalty, trust etc). I hope this is a fun challenge and not an annoying question so if you don't want to answer that's cool! Have a wonderful day!
No more talk. The same thoughts run through two minds... (SotB 29) / You're my equal. My closest ally. (RR 1) / I can't stop thinking how much I rely on him. (GoG 3)
25 Feelings Dick Has About Tim
This was such a kind ask & a cool challenge which I totally failed; here are TWENTY-five panels of Dick's POV on Tim sdfdsfds Look, I got carried away! Marcia and Cindy! The boys!!
OKAY SO BEFORE I GET TO THE PANELS A FEW NOTES:
WARNING THAT THERE ARE SOME NEGATIVE EMOTIONS IN HERE because I love conflict but but but you gotta remember those are not the final word!! They are complicated people and sometimes they get mad at each other BUT ultimately their relationship is so hugely important in both their lives & they love each other and rely on each other so much -!!! <3
Also I have CONCLUDING THOUGHTS at the end about what Dick's POV leaves out (mostly: a lot of Dick defending & protecting & supporting Tim, which Dick does instinctively but isn't very self-aware about most of the time)
I have loosely organized my list into 5^5 format (5 categories with 5 examples each!), so if you want to skip to a relevant one, here are the categories!!
Below the cut:
I hate him and find him infuriating (#1-5)
On second thought, he's endearing & fun (#6-10)
Grief is complicated & he's all tangled up in mine (#11-15)
I love him & think highly of him (#16-20)
I rely on him & though it's hard for me, I trust him (#21-25)
I hate him and find him infuriating (#1 - 5)
1) He thinks heās so smart and can psychoanalyze me and Bruce, but he doesnāt know me at all, he should get lost (New Titans 61)
2) He thinks heās so smart and can psychoanalyze Bruce but he doesnāt know Bruce at all, he should get lost (Gotham Knights 26)
3) He is so nosy about stuff that is MY business (Robin 0)
4) He sounds like an insincere suck-up half the time... but okay, fine, if you push him he's got a sense of humor about it (New Titans 65)
5) I'm sure he's a better vigilante than me. It's my fault for being a failure, but I resent him anyway. (Nightwing 9 - Dick's having a nightmare)
On second thought, he's kinda endearing (#6-10)
6) He worries too much and gets anxious so easily,Ā but it makes him fun to tease (Robin 67)
7) I'm not that competitive - okay, so maybe I'm a little competitive, I gotta make sure he doesn't get a swelled head (Prodigal)
8) I'm supposed to be his favorite! It is not cool for him to be fanboying over my not-girlfriend's not-boyfriend!! (Birds of Prey 19)
9) We have fun together. I can kick back and relax when it's just the two of us. Plus I get to boss him around a bit. (Prodigal)
10) Heās always trying to reassure me, and I guess it's a little comforting, but also he doesnāt really get it. Or me. He makes excuses that he shouldn't, because he doesn't understand that I suck. (Nightwing 64)
Grief is complicated and he's all tangled up in mine (#11 - 15)
11) He reminds me of everything I try not to think about. Sometimes the memories are so strong it hurts to look at him. (Batman 441)
12) WHY IS HE BEING IMPOSSIBLE ALL OF A SUDDEN??? THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING (Nightwing 139)
13) We're the same. He says all the things I don't let myself think about. It's like arguing with myself. (Nightwing 139)
14) He thinks he gets to tell me what to do but he doesnāt, fuck him (Battle for the Cowl)
15) Life sucks, so what. I sucked it up so he should too (RR 1)
I love him and think highly of him (#16 - 20)
16) Heās the closest thing to a brother Iāll ever have.Ā If someone hurts him I will hurt them harder. (Nightwing 6)
17) I can't handle the idea of losing him. (Nightwing 97)
17) Heās so good and Iām not. I'm afraid Iām bad for him. (Nightwing 110)
18) Heās better than me, and itās kind of a relief because I know no matter what heāll be okay. (Gates of Gotham 3)
19) In my head heās the responsible one.Ā (Gotham Knights 10)
I rely on him, and though it's hard for me, I trust him (#20-25)
20) I know I have to trust him but I'm afraid he'll make the wrong choices and get hurt (Nightwing 139)
21) I'm sure I know what he should do because I see myself in him - not that I can take my own advice, but he should (Blackest Night 3)
22) I trust him.Ā When Iām losing my grip on things, he pulls me back. (Gotham Knights 10)
23) I want him to trust me (Red Robin 12)
24) He can tell when I'm lying. Sometimes he sees my weaknesses better than I wish he did. (Detective Comics 874)
25) Heās always there when I need him. (Teen Titans / Outsiders Secret Files)
Final rambling thoughts:
TIM: Uhh, okay, so I'm just skimming this list - do you really trust me? you're not just saying that? - but anyway, I'm confused because you left some stuff out? Like some stuff that's kinda important? DICK: No? I think I got everything? TIM (starts counting on his fingers): The time I was having a bad day but then I called you. The time I got captured by Two-Face but then you saved me. The time I fell off a train but then you saved me. The time I fell off a building but then you saved me. The time I fell off a different building - DICK: I feel like you're trying to make some kind of point but I'm not sure what it could be.
SO THE THING IS, I put 25 panels in here and not a single one has Dick catching Tim when heās falling!!! But I think that's a central motif of their relationship from Timās POV, not Dickās. I love Dick, but in some ways I think he is spectacularly un-self-aware.
And I think he especially has a lot of blind spots about Tim. He kinda intermittently gets that Tim admires him, and he enjoys it in a playful I-get-to-boss-you-around way. But Dick tends to consistently underestimate all of his own good qualities & skills, and he meets Tim at a point in his life when he's especially down on himself & his abilities. And so he's unable to see his own influence on Tim, & therefore unable to fully understand a lot of Tim's priorities and loyalties and motivations, because you can't actually understand Tim without understanding Dick's impact on him. There's a fascinating moment in Bruce Wayne: Murderer when Dick's completely blindsided & upset to discover that Tim doesn't entirely trust Bruce, even though this has been a definitive fact of Tim's whole thing ever since he showed up with his Batman needs Robin theory, and Barbara has to actively remind Dick of the obvious-to-everyone-except-Dick fact that a lot of Tim's loyalty is to Dick, and Tim loves Bruce but feels free to be more wary of him. (And to give Bruce credit: this is not something he ever begrudges.) But anyway Babs points this out, and Dick manages to sorta process it for about five seconds, but he cannot actually accept it into his worldview so instead he discards it at the speed of light and goes off and has an argument with Tim instead sdfsfdsf
All of Dick's virtues - Dick's kindness at the circus and Dick's determination to fight through grief and Dick's rigid sense of morals and Dick's vigilante skills and every time Dick has ever backed Tim up or listened to him or protected him or saved him from something or just been casually kind to a stranger in Tim's presence etc etc etc - all these things loom really large in Tim's mental story of Who Dick Is, and What Dick And Tim's Relationship Is. Tim meets Dick before he meets Bruce, trusts Dick more than Bruce, aspires to be Robin instead of Batman. And so in Tim's default version of the story, Dick is the super-special and admirable hero and Tim is... nobody in particular, a tagalong outsider who's barely managing to be a hero, not part of Dick and Bruce's family and not part of their story, who, if he's VERY LUCKY and tries REALLY HARD, might be able to fight his way to proving himself and offering something to Dick that Dick will value, if Dick doesn't get fed up with him first.
But that's not Dick's version of the story!!!
Dick's version of the story is almost the exact opposite, a story where Dick's an outcast failure black sheep who's screwing up everything he tries, and meanwhile Tim is The Sudden New Perfect Robin Who's Better Than Me And Probably Bruce Loves Him More And Probably They Gossip About What A Loser I Am, mixed with a complicated edge of Tim Thinks He's So Smart But He Doesn't Know Me/Us At All. Dick gets much more attached to Tim over time, and Tim gets unnervingly better at the know-it-all psychoanalysis so then Dick gets to have complicated feelings about him being right instead of just annoyance at him for being wrong, plus Dick's relationship with Bruce improves a lot, so Tim stops feeling so threatening. But Dick never fundamentally changes his basic theory of their relationship in which Tim is highly impressive and capable, and Dick is not so much.
And so asking Dick about Tim is kinda like if you asked George Bailey to tell you about Harry Bailey in It's A Wonderful Life; like, you'll be there for five hours while he tells you how great Harry is, and how accomplished Harry is, and how he doesn't really get how or why Harry does the things he does, and maybe George does feel a little resentful or jealous sometimes, but that pales in comparison to all his admiration and trust for Harry who he loves so much, who's better than him in so many ways, and he's not gonna openly gripe but secretly he can't help but feel sometimes like he's such a failure in comparison to Harry, a perfect person who emerged fully formed from Zeus's head with all the virtues and also all the accomplishments, etc. etc. etc. --
-- and he will not actually remember the part where he changed and saved Harry's whole entire life unless you literally send him to an alternate timeline in order to force him to remember it. <3
#i enjoyed thinking about this so much i wrote a novel with All My Thoughts sorry sdfsdfs#tim drake#dick grayson#somewhat tangential but as i was writing this i was thinking about zahri's post#about how different types of stories offer different kinds of emotional payoffs#and i think for me for dick and tim the main two payoffs are:#1) someone who sees & understands your grief for deaths that will never get fixed or get better#and who will face your ghosts with you EVEN WHEN you're also mad at each other#2) someone who you look at and you see all the ways that you suck & he's better & you're a loser who's failed him etc etc#but it turns out that you're wrong. that you're good enough. not that none of the failures were real or that they were all in your head#but it turns out that it's okay that you didn't always immediately do or feel the right thing#and it's okay that you weren't perfect. you can fuck up six thousand ways & everything you did right will still matter#not because of making excuses or allowances or somebody pityingly trying to make you feel better#but because in the end the things you did right are just Genuinely More Valuable than anything you did wrong#all the times you tried & everything that you tried to give - everything you think wasn't good enough - it was.#IN OTHER WORDS they are both convinced they're not good enough & they are both wrong <3#anyway dick and tim are both INCREDIBLY SIMILAR and also CONSTANTLY misreading each other and i love that for them#and like. they will sometimes totally misread each other & then never figure out the part that they misunderstood#but then they manage to keep going anyway. we love each other on purpose <333#ask tag#dick&tim
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People love talking about Annabeth and her being blonde and how itās representation and important when it literally doesnāt matter.
Her being blonde is NOT as big as the fandom claims it is. ESPECIALLY in the first series!! She mentions itās ONCE in HEROES OF OLYMPUS and NEVER brings its up again! And itās all within the same book!!
She has many other character attributes and flaws and plot points that are ACTUALLY important!! Feeling abandoned, growing up neglected, having her family broken TWICE. Going to war, being a run away, having to fight monsters for as long as she can remember. Her complications with family and how thatās shaped her to who she is. ALL things that can be touched upon and expanded on in the show with Leah.
But you all want to focus on an arguably minuscule detail thatās mentioned in one page. Alright. Okay.
#and none of you EVER bring up her being blonde in posts or analysis#EXCEPT to downgrade Leah!!#like come on#and if you want them to talk about her feeling unseen and un valued in the tv show#even tho itās not fucking important#her being black is PERFECT#because weāre historically seen as dumb and excluded from stem#yāall not ready for that convo tho#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo series#pjo hoo toa#heroes of olympus#pjo tv show#pjo#annabeth chase#leahbeth#leah jeffries
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The link's birthdays being their game's (american) release dates would mean that
Hyrule: august 22 (loz) ā he's a leo!
Legend: april 13 (alttp) ā he's an aries!
Time: november 23 (oot) ā he's a sagittarius!
Wind: march 24 (ww) ā he's an aries!
Four: january 10 (mc) ā he's a capricorn!
Twilight: november 19 (tp) ā he's a scorpio!
Sky: november 20 (ss) ā also a scorpio!
Wild: march 3 (botw) ā he's a pisces!
Warriors: september 19 (hw) ā he's a virgo
Anyway, this means nothing, but I just like to know birthdays and zodiac signs hehehe
#miry's yapping#no wonder thereās tension between legend and wind they're both aries lmao#wars is such a virgo though like perfect#time sky and twilight having super close birthdays is so cute btw#also none of them share my zodiac sign boooo lame
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in one of the absolute worst breeding projects I've ever had, after 207 failures and countless one-offs, I finally. FINALLY. have this pair
#i may breed more but right now i am taking a fuckin well deserved BREAK#the male showed up 6 months ago which was relatively quick. because I started this last october#the female. oh the female. Oh The Female.#I was so desperate at one point I started buying coatl scrolls just to improve my odds#and although none of my pairs had a PERFECT range. the degree of uncertainty was pretty small in a lot of them#so I was just getting HORRIBLY unlucky constantly#I found like 50 gray hairs on me recently. I'm blaming this project#dragon share
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Yes the slamming against the wall, yes the push onto the couch, yes the pulling the underwear with his teeth, yes the nod of consent. Absolutely!! They're very deserved popular highlights of a scene that is perfect from start to end.
But as someone who had rewatched it on loop for days, can I offer you some more? It`s not like we have achieved full insanity with this scene yet. There`s more potential to it. There`s infinite potential to it.
So here are my personal highlights:
Joke's smug grin before kissing Jack
Jack's indentations on Joke's torso
The force with which Jack threw those pants,, (and Joke. And Joke's little expectant expression for the cherry on top)
Joke wetting his lips before kissing Jack again
Jack grabbing Joke's chin to pull him back into a kisskjdfl,kmnd,lmddf (this one made me Especially insane)
Joke biting his lips AND Jack once again grabbing Joke's chin like THAT I swear to god I fully expected a small slap after it I think I'd have instantly passed away if it happened
Am I the only one who lost their mind for these extremely specific and small details? No? Good.
#jack & joker#jack and joker: u steal my heart#jack & joker: u steal my heart!#jack and joker#jack & joker the series#jackjoker#waryin#yinwar#gif#series#mine#bro I have watched a zillion different LA BLs throughout all my BL life (over 20 years)#NONE of them delivered what this scene delivered.#It's just perfect bc it's raw and it feels real#no cringe#no first time shojo sparkles in it#just electric sparks in a very charged moment#fire emoji fire emoji fire emoji fire emoji
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More lazy mornings š»āšā
#cod#nikprice#john price#cod nikolai#nikolai cod#captain price#prikolai#my art#Have a smaller piece I finished in between other bigger pieces <3#John being safe in Nik's arms .......... yeah#free-range John like Jack would say#all fluffy and happy#he's just at peace here#Nik will gently brush John's hair and kiss his forehead and hold his hand and have him all to himself#And then when they're up Nik will make breakfast and they will have a walk together and none of them will mention work#Nik's perfect week end#mwah
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Thereās a line from American Gods I keep coming back to in relation to Yellowjackets, an observation made early on by Shadow in prison: āThe kind of behavior that works in a specialized environment, such as prison, can fail to work and in fact become harmful when used outside such an environment.ā I keep rotating it in my head in thinking about the six survivors, the roles they occupy in the wilderness, and the way the show depicts them as adults in society.
Because in the wilderness, as in prison, theyāre trappedātheyāre suffering, theyāre traumatized, theyāre terrifiedābut theyāre also able to construct very specific boxes to live in. And, in a way, that might make it easier. Cut away the fat, narrow the story down to its base arc. You are no longer the complex young woman who weighs a moral compass before acting. You no longer have the luxury of asking questions. You are a survivor. You have only to get to the next day.
Shauna: the scribe. Lottie: the prophet. Van: the acolyte. Taissa: the skeptic. Misty: the knight. Natalie: the queen. Neat, orderly, the bricks of a new kind of society. And it works in the woods; we know this because these six survive. (Add Travis: the hunter, while youāre at it, because he does make it to adulthood).
But then theyāre rescued. And itās not just lost purpose and PTSD theyāre dealing with now, but a loss of that intrinsic identity each built in the woods. How do you go home again? How do you rejoin a so-called civilized world, where all the violence is restricted to a soccer field, to an argument, to your own nightmares?
How does the scribe, the one who wrote it all out in black and white to make sense of the horrors, cope with a world that would actively reject her story? She locks that story away. But she canāt stop turning it over in her head. She canāt forget the details. Theyāre waiting around every corner. In the husband beside her in bed. In the child she canāt connect with across the table. In the best friend whose parents draw her in, make her the object of their grief, the friend who lives on in every corner of their hometown. She canāt forget, so she tries so hard to write a different kind of story instead, to fool everyone into seeing the soft maternal mask and not the butcher beneath, and she winds up with blood on her hands just the same.
How does the prophet come back from the religion a desperate group made of her, a group that took her tortured visions, her slipping mental health, and built a hungry need around the very things whittling her down? She builds over the bones. She creates a place out of all that well-intended damage, and she tells herself sheās helping, sheās saving them, she has to save them, because the world is greedy and needs a leader, needs a martyr, needs someone to stand up tall and reassure everyone at the end of the day that they know whatās best. The world, any world, needs someone who will take those blows so the innocent donāt have to. Sheās haunted by everyone she didnāt save, by the godhood assigned to her out of misplaced damage, and when the darkness comes knocking again, there is nothing else to do but repeat old rhymes until there is blood on her hands just the same.
How does the acolyte return to a world that cares nothing for the faith of the desperate, the faith that did nothing to save most of her friends, that indeed pushed her to destroy? She runs from it. She dives into things that are safe to believe in, things that rescue lonely girls from rough home lives, things that show a young queer kid thereās still sunshine out there somewhere. She delves into fiction, makes a home inside old stories to which she already knows the endings, coaxes herself away from the belief that damned her and into a cinemascope safety net where the real stuff never has to get in. She teaches herself surface-level interests, she avoids anything she might believe in too deeply, and still sheās dragged back to the place where blood winds up on her hands just the same.
How does the skeptic make peace with the things she knows happened, the things that she did even without meaning to, without realizing? She buries them. She leans hard into a refusal to believe those skeletons could ever crawl back out of the graves she stuffed them into, because belief is in some ways the opposite of control. She doesnāt talk to her wife. She doesnāt talk to anyone. Itās not about whatās underneath the surface, because thatās just a mess, so instead she actively discounts the girl she became in the woods. She makes something new, something rational and orderly, someone who canāt fail. She polishes the picture to a shine, and she stands up straight, the model achievement. She goes about her original plan like it was always going to be that way, and she winds up with blood on her hands just the same.
How does the knight exist in a world with no one to serve, no one to protect, no reason propelling the devastating choices she had grown comfortable making? She rechannels it. She convinces herself sheās the smartest person in the room, the most capable, the most observant. She convinces herself other peopleās mysteries are hers to solve, that she is helping in every single action she takes. She makes a career out of assisting the most fragile, the most helpless souls she can find, and she makes a hobby out of patrolling for crimes to solve, and when a chance comes to strap her armor back on and ride into battle, she rejoices in the return to normalcy. She craves that station as someone needed, someone to rely upon in the darkest of hours, and she winds up with blood on her hands because, in a way, she never left the wilderness at all.
How does the queen keep going without a queendom, without a pack, without people to lead past the horrors of tomorrow? She doesnāt. She simply does not know how. She scrounges for something, anything, that will make her feel connected to the world the way that team did. She moves in and out of a world that rejects trauma, punishes the traumatized, heckles the grieving as a spectacle. She finds comfort in the cohesive ritual of rehabilitation, this place where she gets so close to finding herself again, only to stumble when she opens her eyes and sees sheās alone. All those months feeding and guiding and gripping fast to the fight of making it to another day, and she no longer knows how to rest. How to let go without falling. She no longer wears a crown, and she never wanted it in the first place, so how on earth does she survive a world that doesnāt understand the guilt and shame of being made the centerpiece of a specialized environment you can never explain to anyone else? How, how, how do you survive without winding up with blood on your hands just the same?
All six of these girls found, for better or worse, a place in the woods. All six of them found, for better or worse, a reason to get up the next day. For each other. And then they go home, and even if they all stayed close, stayed friends, itād still be like stepping out of chains for the first time in years. Where do you go? How do you make small choices when every decision for months was life or death? How do you keep the part of yourself stitched so innately into your survival in a world that would scream to see it? How do you do away with the survivor and still keep going?
They brought it back with them. Of course they did. It was the only way.
#yellowjackets#yellowjackets spoilers#yj meta#long post#shauna shipman#lottie matthews#taissa turner#van palmer#misty quigley#natalie scatorccio#the question not being how do you survive the wilderness. the question being how do you come BACK.#the way each of them tries so hard to keep moving forward#unable to untangle the girl in the woods from the adult suffering in polite society#how the world doesnāt want to hear about the pain or the night terrors or the sleepwalking or the addiction#the world wants the bright colors and the flash-bang headlines#the world doesnāt want who they are. who they had to be. it wants pretty perfect tragedy#that specialized environment lives on in each one of them every day#but itās not a place anyone else can ever go#how do you feed that for so long and then justā¦stop?#constantly thinking about nat saying we didnāt make it out. none of us.#because no. no they didnāt. the girls died the minute that rescue chance did. what came back was risen from those ashes
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