#none of my irl friends get it with
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you guys i’ve reached my next thousand of follewera on here i’m so thankful for all of you!!!!!!! honestly drop a comment or just respond to this i wanna talk toy you!!
#i don’t know how many are bots but i’m so happy to have you here!!#i want to get to know you!!!!!!#drop a comment of my fics#or just talk to me#i’m so happy to get to know you!!#you can say whatever#you are all my friends#none of my irl friends get it with#i love you
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during the summer I was isolating and depressed bc of it and craving social interaction so bad being stuck in my room for weeks on end. but I have attended 4 Halloween parties this month and my desire to touch grass has never been so low and I want to retreat back into a hole and disintegrate. why is it so hard to find a reasonable medium
#its like jumping at the chance to socialize and accepting all invitations with no regard to my social battery bc it felt so bad having none#then getting overwhelmed and falling back into the cycle of self isolation and blocking out irl friends again. rinse and repeat#i love seeing my friends dont get me wrong but my autistic ass can only handle so much People Time per week
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I love love loveeee the reading of jayvik as a queerplatonic relationship instead of a romantic one. There's just so much more to it and honestly it feels a lot more alligned with the show to me. Like it carries a message that gets lost if you read the two of them as romantic partners.
It's so easy to say that their relationship is purely romantic. So easy to point to the scene where Jayce hallucinates both Mel and Viktor and say that he loves both of them in the same way. And yet --
Jayce and Viktor call themselves partners -- not brothers, not lovers, not friends but partners. Jayce doesn't call Mel his partner, though she is his romantic one. It's a title reserved only for Viktor. The way that they choose to expresss their love for each other in their final moments is not via kiss, a typically romantic gesture, but just by being as close to each other as possible.
They're partners. In all the timelines, in all possibilities, they choose to love each other, choose to save themselves, choose to keep loving each other even if it brings about so much destructuion and pain. Every version of their relationship is so full of love.
they're definetly life partners. But are they really romatic ones? wouldn't it be a lot more interesting and powerful if they weren't? if their love was neither romantic, sexual, platonic nor familial? If their love was something in between all of those options and yet neither one of them? If it simply was? If the only way to describe it was with the most flexible of labels?
If they were queerplatonic partners?
Also, when you see them as such, Jayce's decision to be with Viktor over being with Mel, even if it was a choice he made in that one moment, has even more of a meaning than it would otherwise.
In S1 Jayce chooses Mel. He doesn't want to, clearly, he wants to live his life with both Viktor and Mel. But it's too hard to do both. The council doesn't want him to do both. Piltover doesn't want him to do both. Everyone around him just wants him to choose.
And so he does -- he chooses Mel, because he loves her. He chooses Mel and in doing so he chooses a seat in the Council and the politics of his city over a chair in the lab and the science that he's given his whole life to up until now. Over Viktor.
He chooses the conventional option. The woman whom he loves romantically. It's what everyone expects him to choose because people still believe that romantic relationships have more value than any other ones. He loves both Mel and Viktor, in different ways. And though he loves them equally, in the same measure, Piltover would decide that one of his lovers is more important to him. That his romantic partner has to be the one person with who he shares his whole life with.
So Jayce chooses Mel. And Viktor dies. And then he's not dead but he's so, so far away and the one thing holding them together is a promise that Jayce is yet to keep.
At the end of S2 Jayce has to choose again. Either he lets Viktor do what needs to be done alone and walks away, is free to spend his days with Mel or he joins his partner in whatever it is that comes next, never to return to the life that he lived before. This time there is no way to do both. He could try as hard as possible and yet there is no third option. He has to make a choice.
And he chooses Viktor.
He chooses his non-romantic love, the more unconventional one, over the world itself.
And that is, I think, an even better story than the one where Jayce loves Viktor just romantically.
#This might be very incomprehensible but ive been thinking about this so much and i just need to get it out of my system x)#theyre so much more interesting if theyre not romantic!!!!! it adds so much to the narrative!!!!!! and makes my aromantic heart so happy!!!#aouuhghghghg i am sooo normal aout them it hurtsss a little#if anyone wants to talk about them with me please please pleaseeee do. I am slowly going insane becasue none of my irl friends that i see#often have finished S2 and so i can't talk about them :''''''''')))))))#jayce talis#viktor arcane#jayvik#jayce x viktor#arcane jayce#arcane#arcane spoilers#arcane s2 spoilers#queerplatonic
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How do you feel about getting cheated like the title Echoes of Wisdom??
Like Zelda version of EoC
I wouldn’t exactly say I was cheated. I mean, it is a bit different, but it’d also be a lie to say that I’m not at least a little disappointed about it. I’m willing to change the title of this AU later if it becomes a problem, but I’m keeping it for now.
On the other hand, this just makes me think that an Echoes of Power would be the worst adventure in existence. Imagine the main Ganon, whatever’s going on with FSA Ganon, the wind twink who served the second guy, and whatever other minions they pick up along the way…. trying to camp. A forest has been burned to the ground. Someone will end up dead by the end of it. There’s a dark Link messing something up somewhere. No one knows who summoned him, but he sure is there. They all hate the same guy but that guy is different reincarnations of the same kid. Worst family road-trip ever.
#echoes of courage#loz au#legend of zelda#eoc asks#also I was planning a Zelda D&D campaign to run in like a year or so for my irl friends#and echoes of wisdom has such a similar mechanic to what I was going to give to my Link#at least that campaign is still a bit different. ah what a hassle though#but hey none of my players are Zelda nerds and only one has actually played a Zelda game so I still get to fuck around and find out
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This isn’t the first time this isn’t the first time
My inability to initiate conversations even when I want to is like—I don’t even know anymore someone help
@signanothername oh hi there uhh
Ignore the ranting in tags :)
#when you really want to talk to someone#but won’t say anything#I don’t even know what to do with tumblr messages#it feels awkward to just like#idk words are hard#why I gotta be as shy as irl why can’t I get a different personality online >:(#tho I start ranting once I feel better aaa#wait I might be talking too much rn#uhhh#my artwork#digital art#ink sans#utmv#art#artwork#my art#undertale#wait I think it’s because I’d always start conversations#then I’d patiently wait like two months for a response#I had only one online friend and I didn’t feel like making anymore back then#also none of my irl friends liked Undertale enough to understand or follow along#so like I just repeated it all over#I remember ranting so much I filled out discord word count so much aaa#does this make sense??#digital illustration#artists on tumblr
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ANGELA/SERA FROM THE MARVEL SNAP HERO ANIMATIC
#eep babies first gif#definitely... could be better#i ended up having a lot of issues doing it the way i wanted to in my head and so. had to work around it the only ways i could figure#and also making tumblrs size & dimension limits was. harder than i thought! kinda. compressed to hell#idk. i think i can do better but this is what i ended up with#also i know this has been giffed already but i thought messing w animation was a bit easier than irl images#low stakes also bc none of my friends care about this either#nyxtalks#angela#angela odinsdottir#sera#sera of heven#serangela#angelsera#angela x sera#marvel#marvel snap#gif#one of the things i was having issues was was framerate? like i could not get it to cooperate at all#i couldnt figure how to make it faster as i saved it and then when i tried to edit it in post speeding it up even 1% made it way too fast?#but it was stuttery without change. so im gonna have to mess around more with that#idk! still much to mess with#will be a long time before the GB edit happens at this rate lol#i think maybe im somewhat getting the hang of the bare basics though#if you read this far friends i love uuuuuu#i assume only my dear mutuals would actually read the tags#sorry for there being so many. i had commentary
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Listening to The Magnus Archives, "Page Turner"
*Rolling With Difficulty voice* There's bones in there!
#none of my irl friends have listened to both so I'm hoping someone here will get it#rolling with difficulty#rwd#the magnus archives#tma podcast#lol
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#hello starlight express fans can i join you even though i live in america??#i'm new to tumblr but i need to know people's opinions#if you like starlight express please be my friend#because i'm obsessed with these lesbian trains and none of my irls get it#greaseball#starlight express greaseball#greaseball the diesel#stex greaseball#starlight express#stex london 2024#stex revival
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Hah. Imagine only double texting. I [whatever-number-this-is] text 😤😤
(ORV webtoon spoilers)
(This was over like a single minute) (I’m going crazy)
#I had to spam it all at once so I didn’t explode#also none of them answered#screw my friends#I’d probably get better answers from strangers online 😔#anyways#does anyone want to talk about ORV with me?#I’m so lonely#my irl friends ghosted me#and the only friend who talks to me is on the other side of the world 😭😭#oh well#orv#omniscient reader's viewpoint#omniscient reader#kim dokja#demon king of salvation#chapter 188#I memorized the chapter in the novel#orv webtoon#omniscient reader spoilers#omniscient reader's viewpoint spoilers#orv spoilers
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YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY I LEANRED HWO TO PLAY THE SOLO IN SUGAR CLOUD ON FLUTEEEE‼️‼️‼️‼️
notes cause gatekeeping is bad: d d d f# a d (high),, Bb Bb Bb Bb Bb ,, g e d g e d g e d a g f# d-d (high) 🫶🏽🫶🏽
#YIPEE YIPEE YIPEE YIOPEEEEEEE#ITA SO FUN TO PLAYYYY#too bad none of my irl friends r into rtc so they can get it💔💔#ride the cyclone#rtc#sugar cloud#sugar cloud rtc#constance blackwood#constance rtc#‼️‼️#theres nothing wrong with the nicest girl in town !!
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#crumpet's doodles#vent#tw self h4rm#tw self harm#tw blood#Anygays chat how r we doin tonite!!!!!!!#God I hate that nobody irl believes a SINGLE word I say besides like. 4 of my friends#“I'm gonna cut myself” “Please don't joke about that” okay I guess I'll shut my fucking mouth then#“Look I know you've never had suicidal thoughts before but please keep in mind some people do <3” WHAT IF I BASH YOUR FUCKING SKULL IN#Just because I look happy doesn't mean I'm like this all the time Jesus FUCKING christ#I can't say ANYTHING because otherwise somebody will tell others and shit's gonna go down#NONE of these adults I can be honest to. “Trustworthy” my ASS#The school councilor would tell my parents and GOD FORBID something is wrong with their living trophy they show off#“You're not trying your best” “You need to get better” “You just need to find something that works for you” I'm going to fucking strangle y#IF YOU KEEP THREATENING TO PUNISH ME AND NEVER DO I'LL JUST FUKING DO IT MYSELF#MAYBE THESE SCARS WILL PAY FOR WHATEVER TRANSGRESSIONS I DID TO DISAPPOINT YOU IN SUCH A WAY#I'm. Going to stop before this gets any more unhinged
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pebbles right before moon's collapse
#rw#rain world#iterator#5 pebbles#rw five pebbles#me and my irl friends were laughing about a stock image of a businessman with a comically large cup of coffee so i need to draw that-#-but with pebbles instead#ancients come get your iterator he's drinking all the water and leaving none for his senior ... AGAIN!!!!#grrr...#i love 5 pebbles he's so silly#he's like my second favorite iterator character#(first favorite is UI of course <3 )
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yknow with tthe whole cc!kab rping an actual character rather than just being herself with extra steps thing i should prbs talk about her character in a different way compared to other lsers cause it feels wrong to talk about her in the same way that i do for the others when she plays in such a significantly different way
#mine.txt#ik its for practical purposes aka cc!kab not wanting to mistake ppl talking about her character to be talking about her#but man doing this whole cc! and c! thing is really just reminding me of the dsmp days lmao#i mean i never did that shit cause like i didnt really see the point cause like. theyre doing improv what difference would it make#cause like the character and the actor still share the same name online#how much can you really talk about someone doing improv in that kinda way until it doesnt work anymore#but theres a point to it this time#im not doing this for clarification purposes cause yall already know im not talking about irl kab#but cc!kab repeatedly breaks the forurth wall and not in an ''im a streamer so i gotta talk to chat'' way#but in a ''none of this is real guys were actually friends irl#and i make sure to do aftercare during heavy streams btw im trained in acting since i was a kid'' way#which means at least in my minds eye its heavily impractical to talk about kab the way i usually do for other streamers#see the way i talk about the other streamers theres an implicit acknowledgement of the blurred line between cc and c#but for kab while its all improv ofc theres a very defined line between cc and c#its a lil smudged sure but its still quite defined#so that implicit acknowledgement just kinda... gets lost. yanno? which im not a big fan of#so yeah i feel the need to talk about her differently cause of this entirely different framework to work off of#im not really sure how to do that besides adding cc! and ls! before her name#since usually in smps and mcyt in general theres a pretty similar meta rp style from all the members of a server#so i never really felt the need to talk about ome of the characters differently#but ofc ls had to be different it just had to lmao#but whatever ill figure it out#dont expect me to keep up with this when im triggered tho lmao cause thats just not happening
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ahhhh I wanna write and play a TMA themed TTRPG campaign soooo bad! But I think my issue is I’m a better writer than I am a GM.
Like I just wanted to figure out the basic concepts of a possible campaign to pitch to my friends — when does it take place, where is it set, what exactly are the players trying to achieve, etc — but instead I got this whole alternate timeline where Gertrude was given a bunch of new assistants (the players) and now she’s got to begrudgingly work with these people to keep the archives safe and stop the other fears from destroying the world (because at that point she doesn’t know that all rituals are destined to fail unless it is a mass ritual) and also I have this whole idea about a possible grand finale… but I haven’t even pitched this idea yet, let alone met the player characters!! Ahhh!!
Honestly, I like the idea a lot, but I’ve already got this specific idea for how things will turn out which is how you write a fic, not how you GM. So maybe I’ll just scrap the campaign idea and turn it into a fic instead.
#the magnus archives#tma#maybe this can be my next big multichaptered project when I’m done with As Above#look forward to that I guess#oh also… none of my IRL friends listen to TMA and I don’t really like playing TTRPG’s online#so that’s issue 2 with the concept aha#I could totally convince them to play a horror campaign based on TMA… but honestly the idea is just fanfiction lol#I mean I explicitly told a different friend that it would be *the universe where Gerry did get cancer* soooo#:)
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I’m so terrified of people that sometimes i stare at their socials and think ‘i should talk to them’ and then just don’t and then realise I’m a lost cause and i go back to drawing depressingly
#shoild i tag this as social anxiety#idk#i mean it USED to be anxiety like#but now I don’t even talk to people to actually feel that anxiety anymore soooo#social anxiety#socially awkward#yeahhh thats probably it#the socials also inclide here#even my irl friends are aware of this and say that none of i wouldn’t have been friends with them if they didn’t lovingly bully me into it#im that obvious#i hope you all know that everytime i like or reblog your post that me screaming how mich i adore you and that you’re really cool and#i might just suffocate over how amazing you are because wth#i think thats why im so much more active on tumblr than i ever have been kn anywhere else#because i can freely share my thoughts and stuff and i will never know if someone doesn’t like it becuase ill only ever see people who like#it most of the time#sorry yiu guys randomly get drops of how I actually am irl on here#despite me only ever actually talking abiut ninjago and morro#love my guy morro#sometimes i end uo draiwng those people favourite characters and im just like#wtf#im so sorry im actually also so bored rn#edit but i love when someone i do that to interacts with my post#like you know i exist????
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God the loneliness has been hitting real bad since yesterday
#vent#not many irl friends to hang out with#i signed up for an event tomorrow and monday but#so many online friends but none that are either available or that I'm cozy with to talk#my best irl friend has been so busy for months that we barely exchange a few texts a day#and the larger friend group i had has been gone for months#it fucking sucks man i feel miserable#sure i get out and go outside and like volunteer and stuff but that's not friendship yknow#i spend maybe like 2-4 hours a WEEK talking to someone who isn't family#it's not enough i miss having friends and i miss being able to see people in person#all the ppl i relied on either left or are too fucking busy to talk#on certain days of the week i can reliably spend the whole day not once talking to a real life person. like today#it's slowly getting to the point that i'm getting existential dread and anxiety just from existing#because the only thing i can reliably look forward to every day is being fucking alone
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