#if you like starlight express please be my friend

[tigreblvnc]

MICHAEL KAISER x [f] READER

cw: fluff, comfort, romance. note: a tribute to my dear friend.

My sun is beautiful, powerful. Valiant. It shines brightly but has no sharp points. I kept the thorns on my wrist.

Michael Kaiser was a paradox in himself.

"Can I open my eyes?" You whisper, your step hesitant. "Michael?"

"Not yet."

In the darkness, his voice resonates.

"We're almost there. Just a few more steps. Patience."

Patience was a virtue you didn't know. One you learned with, and for, Michael. A rose takes time to bloom; its petals slowly gain color. One wrong sound, and the stem withers. These creatures are as delicate as they are insolent.

Under your heel, the concrete fades, giving way to the soft, frayed texture of fresh grass. Yesterday's rain still soaks the earth.

The weight pressing on your eyes lifts, freeing your sight, and the landscape unfolds into a vast lake reflecting the moonlight. At your feet: a spread-out blanket holding the basket and provisions. Your gaze sparkles with wonder, your voice swelling with joy.

"Oooooh!!! Michael! Did you prepare all this?"

He says nothing. Doing things for others is not something he likes to express.

You step forward, kneeling on the red and white cloth. The basket holds those foods seen in couple picnic photos, and the comparison amuses you.

"Right by the lake, at night. It's even prettier. Michael?"

Your shining eyes lift toward the German who hasn't moved. You can clearly see that something is bothering him.

"Hm? What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Yes, there is something."

"… It's just that I wasn't sure if you'd like it. It's the first time I've done this."

It's not your vision playing tricks—you can almost see his cheeks suddenly flushed.

"Michael? Please, come sit with me."

With a tilt of your head, you beckon him to come. Silently, the man approaches and settles at your left. He seems strangely out of place in this intimate setting, surrounded by neatly wrapped provisions. The very thought that he took such care to prepare all this warms your chest.

"Do you like it?" he asks, his voice, usually filled with pride, now resonating with the shyness of someone experiencing a first time.

"Do I like it? Of course, Michael. Can I hold you?"

Asking for his consent, even for the smallest things, had always been a rule. Like a delicate rose, his thorns, thin and sharp, rose like a tiger's claws. Always, you took care when approaching those defenses.

A nod is his answer. You move closer to wrap your arms around him. The difference in your heights is noticeable even now, when you have to draw him toward you to fully embrace him. Tonight, the fire of his arrogance is mild. It glows like a flame in its last breath. And you, your warmth radiates.

Before you, the water sparkles under the pulsing starlight. Despite the winter chill, the cold's bite doesn't reach you.

Your eyes fall on the basket. Without waiting, you pull out two sandwiches, handing the first to the German.

"Next time, I'll be the one making them for you!" you add, smiling.

"I hope they'll be at least better than mine."

Michael never cooked. However, he had put his heart into the task, and his effort could be felt even in the tenderness of the bread yielding under your bite.

"It's not the taste that matters, Michael! What counts is that you made it with love."

Love was a rare commodity among the Kaisers. Power came after long, laborious efforts but offered no guarantee of that warmth deep inside. One couldn't have love alone.

"So? How is it?"

"It's good, GOOD! Try it!"

You push the tip of your sandwich toward his mouth. He finally accepts and takes a bite.

"Hm."

"So???"

"Passable."

And since Michael Kaiser had no love, he couldn't give any either.

"Hmm! You'll see, next time I'll cook you a dish so good, you'll be smiling all the way to here!"

With the tip of your finger, you trace the outline at the corner of his lips, then a light laugh escapes you.

Your sandwiches quickly disappear into your stomachs.

"You know, I'm glad you found time for us, despite the football competitions." Your voice resonates in the silence, carving its way to the surface of the water. "I know you give it your all for that."

"It's my life. My goal."

Power.

"Yes…" Your smile fades slightly. "Your goal."

Wasn't Michael's goal to be loved?

"You're strong, Michael. I know you'll make it. I'm sure of it. I don't even need to be in football to know that."

Some have victory in their name.

"And I'll be there when that day comes." A smile, unsure if it's natural or hides something else, lifts the corners of your mouth. "Will you sign me an autograph?"

One might think they see the beginnings of a smile at the edge of his lips.

"… Tell me, Michael. What will you do once you're the world number one?"

"I'll go where no one will come bother me."

"Where?"

"Anywhere. A cave. The top of a mountain. I'll go to Saint Helena like Napoleon when he was exiled."

"Can I come?"

"You think you'll be able to put up with me until then?"

"I don't put up with you: I like being with you."

"Hm."

"And also, I want to share as much as possible with you! By the way, thank you for this meal, Michael. And for thinking of bringing us here. It's beautiful. See? It's for moments like this that I want to be with you. And there will be many more."

"Many more…"

"Yes. I want us to live the most beautiful moments together."

Your fingers have started to move closer to his.

"You're really a tick, huh? You won't let go of this, no matter what I say." He exhales through his nose with a half-smile. "Idiot."

"You're right: I'm an idiot. But I'll stay with you no matter what. Even if you go to the other side of the world."

"Aren't you afraid? That one day, I'll disappear?"

"Michael, you know, I'm afraid of a lot of things. I'm afraid of not being enough for you, I'm afraid you'll find someone else. I'm afraid I'll drive you away because I said something I shouldn't have, or because I did something you don't like. I'm always afraid of losing you, because I love you more than you can imagine."

Your chest swells with the rush of air before your voice steadies.

"… And you, Michael, you're afraid of being loved. You're afraid of being touched. Afraid of being abandoned, forgotten, and having your name erased forever. You're afraid of giving yourself completely to our relationship. I think it's your past that influences you, and also because sometimes you think it's just not worth it. But you know what? My mission is to prove you wrong. There is love waiting for you in this world, there's a place somewhere for you. I'll help you find it."

Your fingers climb up the back of his hand. With your thumb, you trace the veins that run along the crown connected to his thorns, a vine that twists all the way to the base of his shoulder.

"I… I'm becoming romantic again, sorry. But… all this is to say that I care about you. That I love you and that you're not alone. You'll never be alone again, Michael."

Movement stirs. His left hand pulls away from your caresses.

It's not to escape; on the contrary, the loop of his arms comes to encircle you in a powerful embrace. His blonde hair, burdened with an extinguished sun whose tips have been painted blue, cascades against your cheek.

The complex, masculine scent mingled with a deep, almost velvety floral undertone surrounds you.

His voice resonates with a heavy devotion.

"… Idiot who doesn't think. Who speaks without thinking. Idiot who likes being with me. Idiot I'll take to the top of the mountain with me and dig a bed for her in the island's sand. Idiot with whom there's a tomorrow."

The tender warmth of his lips spins around yours, before finally resting there to leave a mark of love.

"Whether you're here or at the other side of the world. In a time that's not mine or in a skin I don't know: I'll recognize and love my midnight sun."

© TIGREBLVNC 2024 | MICHAEL KAISER X READER | BLUE LOCK FANFICTIONS.

[quinzzelx]

Shadows and Starlight

Azriel x Fem!Reader

Summary: You and Mor return from a long mission on the Continent. Nine Months have passed since your departure and you couldn't wait to reunite with your best friend, a best friend you'd had a crush on for centuries. Only that Azriel wasn't there when you returned home. He would only return on Starfall.

Part 02

Word count: 4.5K

Warnings: A little spice at the end there. But honestly just a little! Otherwise Fluff, Reader being part of the IC!! I have not proof-read it yet.

A/N: Well, hello there! I have never posted writing for this Fandom before, so I truly hope it is enjoyable and finds it's people. Overall, I haven't really been posting on this blog in ages and felt inspired. I would love to write a second part if this is received well. This isn't proofread yet, I will do that eventually, so I apologize for possible errors. Please let me know what you think and feel free to drop into my inbox.

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The night was cool and crisp as you and Mor made your way through the streets of Velaris, the city lights casting a warm glow over the cobblestone streets. Returning to Velaris had been a relief, the mission Rhys had sent you on should have taken no longer than six weeks, lastly spanning nine months that felt like an eternity. What should have been a rather quick trip to the Continent turned out to be far more complicated than anticipated. You were supposed to look into the whereabouts of a magical artifact while Mor should keep up her work as emissary. What you did not take into account whatsoever was the uprising conflict between two of their biggest noble houses, which complicated things. Trust was not easy to come by. Diplomats and Mediators by day and treasure hunters by night. Of course, you also had plenty of time to bask in the sunlight, smothering heat seeping into the marrow of your bones. Even with Mor by your side, there had been moments of homesickness that gnawed at your heart, a longing for the familiar comforts of home that seemed to grow with each passing day.

But now, as you made your way through the streets of Velaris, you couldn't help but feel a sense of relief wash over you. The city was alive with the buzz of activity, its streets bustling with life and energy. Even the stars seemed to shine and twinkle brighter than usually, welcoming you back. It was good to be home. As you stepped into the grand foyer of the House of Wind, you felt a rush of nostalgia wash over you. Albite nine months were nothing for Fae, you had missed this. The scent of fresh bread filled the air, no doubt made by Elain. A soft smile tugged at the corner of your lips at the familiarity, your shoulders relaxing slightly.

Mor wasted no time in making herself comfortable, stomping off to the sitting room and throwing herself onto the chaise with a dramatic sigh. You couldn't help but chuckle at her antics. As she settled into the plush pillows, you perched yourself on the edge of the nearby armchair, your gaze drifting to the flickering flames in the hearth. The crackling fire cast dancing shadows across the room, its warmth a comforting embrace after the long journey home. "So, what is on your mind?" Mor's voice broke through the silence, her eyes fluttering open as she regarded you with a curious expression. You let out a soft sigh, your thoughts drifting back to the tribulations of your time overseas. "It was... intense," you replied, voice tinged with a hint of weariness. "So much happened.” You groaned then. “Cauldron boil me, I really don’t want to fill out that mission report…” Mor nodded in understanding, a sympathetic smile playing on her lips. "I can imagine, me neither" she said, her tone filled with empathy. "But Rhys will not push us. He probably missed us as much as we missed him. It’s been a while after all.”

You smiled gratefully at her words, a sense of relief washing over you. "Yeah, you're right," you agreed, your spirits lifting at the thought of being back in Velaris once more. Back home. You fell into a comfortable silence then, the crackling fire the only sound echoing in the room. But beneath the surface, you felt a restlessness stirring within yourself—a longing to see him, to feel the familiar comfort of his presence. Obviously you missed the entirety of your family wholly. Definitely not thinking about one person more than the others. At least that is what you told yourself.

"I'm going to check on Az," you said suddenly, your voice breaking the silence. "I haven't seen him in a while…" Mor raised an eyebrow inquisitively, a knowing smile playing on her lips. "Really now? Here I thought we saw none of them in a while." she teased, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "Missing someone, are we?" You felt a blush creeping into your cheeks at Mor's teasing tone, but you brushed it off with a playful roll of your eyes. "Don't be ridiculous," you retorted, though the fluttering in your chest betrayed your true feelings. With a playful wink, Mor waved you off, her attention already drifting back to the warmth of the fire. "Go on then," she said, her voice soft but encouraging. "I'll be here when you get back." And with that, you rose from your seat and made your way to Azriel's room, your heart fluttering with anticipation at the thought of seeing him again after so long. With a sense of anticipation bubbling in your chest, you picked up your pace subconsciously, your steps quick and eager. You had grown so close over the years, so comfortable in each other's company, that knocking on doors had become a formality you rarely bothered with anymore- and even if you usually still found yourself knocking from time to time, you just were too excited.

But as you pushed open the door to Azriel's room, your heart sank at the sight of the empty space before you. The room was quiet and still, save for the faint scent of cedar that lingered in the air—a stark reminder of the Male you had missed so much. Disappointment tugged at your heart as you surveyed the deserted room, your lips curling into a soft frown. It was Starfall in just a few days, you really thought, hoped, he’d be here when you returned. Before you could dwell on your thoughts any longer, a familiar voice broke through the silence, startling you. "So, Y/N, are you finally going to confess your undying love for my brother?" he quipped, his tone laced with amusement. You rolled your eyes, but a smile tugged at the corners of your lips now as you threw yourself into Cassian's awaiting arms. You had missed him, missed all of them, but the absence of Azriel weighed heavily on your heart somehow. After you pull away from your embrace, Cassian offers you a kind smile, his eyes warm with understanding.

"Hey, just so you know, Az has been on a mission for the past few days," The tall Illyrian says gently, his tone filled with reassurance. "But he should be back before Starfall." You feel a surge of relief at the news, your heart fluttering with anticipation at the thought of seeing Azriel again. You waited nine months, you could wait a few more days. "Thank you, Cass," you says sincerely, gratitude shining in your eyes. Then the tall male shifts on his foot, raising an eyebrow in mock offense, a mischievous glint dancing in his eyes. "Hey now, Y/N, I hope you're not just excited to see Az," he says with a dramatic sigh, placing a hand over his heart in mock hurt. "I mean, I know I'm not as brooding and mysterious as our Shadowsinger, but a little appreciation for your favorite warrior wouldn't hurt." You roll your eyes again with a grin, shaking your head at Cassian's antics. "Oh, please, Cass. You know you're my second favorite warrior," you quip, your tone teasing as you give him a playful shove. You share a moment of laughter before Cassian's expression turns more serious, his gaze softening as he looks at you with genuine concern. "How was the mission? Everything okay?"

Nodding, your smile faltering slightly as you recall the challenges you faced overseas. "It was... intense, to say the least. But we made it back in one piece, thanks to Mor and her quick thinking."

Cassian nods in understanding, his expression reflecting his relief. "Well, I'm glad you're both safe. We'll have to celebrate your return properly, once you've had a chance to rest." Humming you find yourself relaxing into the familiar warmth of his company. You nod in agreement then. “Yeah, Rhys always has something up his sleeve for Starfall,” you say, voice tinged with anticipation. “I can only imagine what he has planned for this year.” Both of you fall into comfortable silence for a moment. Only when a yawn claws itself up your throat and past your lips does Cassian speak again. “Does Rhys know you’re back?” His gaze is gentle in the way he looks at you, it was easy to tell that the oaf missed you just as much.

Stretching your tired muscles slightly, you nod hastily. "Yeah, you should have seen his face when he came barging into the kitchen and saw us drink tea with Feyre." A soft chuckle leaves him then, and you share a knowing grin as you both recall similar situations.

Making your way down the hall, you find Mor fast asleep on the chaise lounge in the sitting room, her features relaxed in slumber. Cassian retrieves a soft blanket from the nearby cupboard and gently drapes it over Mor's sleeping form, his movements gentle and caring.

You settle into the chairs nearby, he joins you, and the two of you engage in light conversation, catching up on the latest developments with Nesta and the Valkyrie. You share stories and anecdotes, laughter punctuating the quiet of the night as you relish in each other's company. Eventually, exhaustion catches up with you, and you bid Cassian goodnight before retreating to your own chambers for some much-needed rest.

As you settle into bed, your mind can't help but wander towards Azriel. Despite the exhaustion weighing heavy on your limbs, thoughts of him linger at the forefront of your mind, like whispers in the darkness. You can't help but wonder how he's been faring on his mission, what trials and tribulations he's faced in your absence. A pang of guilt tugs at your heart as you realize that you hadn't even sent word of your return, leaving him in the dark about your whereabouts. Closing your eyes, you try to push aside the worry and uncertainty that gnaws at your thoughts, focusing instead on the memory of his warm smile and steady presence. You find solace in the thought of seeing him again, of being reunited with the friend who has always been a steady anchor in your life. With a soft sigh, you let the rhythmic sound of your breathing lull you into a state of calm, allowing yourself to drift into a restless sleep filled with dreams of starlit skies and whispered promises. And as sleep claims you, you hold onto the hope that tomorrow will bring with it the long-awaited reunion you've been yearning for.

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The next days pass in a blur, the absence of Azriel weighing heavily on your heart despite the moments of joy spent with your family. You find solace in the familiar routines of daily life, in the laughter and chatter of your loved ones gathered together in the warmth of the House of Wind.

Mornings are filled with shared meals and lively conversation, the scent of freshly brewed coffee mingling with the aroma of freshly baked pastries. On the day before Starfall you find yourself amidst the hustle and bustle of daily life in Velaris, as you join Feyre, Mor, and Nesta for a day of dress shopping. The air is filled with the sweet scent of blooming flowers and the tantalizing aroma of freshly baked goods, adding to the festive atmosphere of the day.

As you weave through the throngs of people, your eyes alight on a quaint boutique you’re all too familiar with, nestled between two bustling shops. Its windows are adorned with elegant gowns in every shade of the rainbow, their silken fabrics shimmering in the sunlight.

With a shared glance and a knowing smile, you make your way inside, greeted by the tinkling of bells and the warm smile of the shopkeeper. The interior of the boutique is a veritable treasure trove of fashion, with racks of dresses in every style and design imaginable. As you browse through the racks, your eyes are drawn to a stunning gown in a shade of deep midnight blue, its bodice adorned with delicate lace and sparkling sequins. It catches the light in such a way that it seems to shimmer and dance with every movement, and you can't help but feel drawn to it.

Feyre picks up a flowing gown in a shade of pale lavender, holding it up against herself with a thoughtful expression. "What do you think?" she asks, turning to you and the others for their opinion. Mor nods approvingly, her eyes lighting up with excitement. "It's lovely, Feyre. You would look stunning in that." Nesta, ever the pragmatist, arches an eyebrow skeptically. "It's a bit too... ethereal for my taste," she remarks dryly. "But if it makes you happy, then go for it." You can't help but chuckle at Nesta's blunt honesty, knowing that she speaks from a place of genuine concern for her sister's happiness. "I think it's beautiful, Feyre," you offer, a warm smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "But ultimately, it's up to you." Feyre returns your smile gratefully, her eyes sparkling with gratitude. "Thank you, Y/N," she says softly, her voice filled with warmth. "I think I'll give it a try." As Feyre disappears into the dressing room to try on the gown, Mor turns to you with a glint in her eyes. "So, Y/N, have you found anything that catches your eye?" she asks, her tone teasing.

You shrug nonchalantly, though your heart races at the thought of the dress you had spotted earlier. "Maybe," you reply coyly, a playful smile playing at your lips. "There was one that caught my attention." Nesta raises an eyebrow curiously, her gaze sharpening with interest. "Oh? And what does it look like?" she inquires, her tone betraying her curiosity.

You hesitate for a moment, your cheeks flushing slightly as you recall the details of the dress. "It's... um, it's a deep midnight blue," you begin, your voice trailing off as you struggle to find the right words to describe it.

Mor's eyes light up with mischief as she interrupts, a knowing smirk on her lips. "Sounds like something a certain Shadowsinger would most definitely like," she quips, her voice filled with amusement. You feel your cheeks grow even warmer at Mor's teasing remark, knowing that there is some truth to her words. "Maybe," you mumble, unable to hide the smile that tugs at the corners of your lips.

Before the conversation can continue further, Feyre emerges from the dressing room, the lavender gown flowing around her in a cascade of ethereal beauty. You gasp in awe at the sight of her, your heart swelling with pride and admiration.

"Feyre, you look incredible," you exclaim, your voice filled with genuine awe. "That dress was made for you." Feyre blushes at the compliment, her smile radiant as she twirls in front of the mirror. "Thank you, Y/N" she says warmly, her eyes shining with happiness. "I think I've found my dress."  As Feyre twirls in front of the mirror, her radiant smile lighting up the room, Mor and Nesta exchange knowing glances before turning their attention to you.

"Well, Y/N, it's your turn now," Mor says with a playful grin, her eyes sparkling again. "You can't just talk about that mysterious midnight blue dress and not show it to us."

Nesta nods in agreement, her expression curious. "Yes, I'm quite intrigued to see this dress that has caught your eye," she adds, a hint of amusement in her voice. With a nod of determination, you make your way to the dressing room, the anticipation building with each step.

As you slip into the dress, you can't help but marvel at how perfectly it fits, clinging to your curves in all the right places. The fabric is soft against your skin, the deep midnight blue hue shimmering in the light, casting an enchanting glow around you. The bodice of the dress is adorned with delicate lace, the intricate patterns weaving a spellbinding tapestry across your skin. The neckline plunges low, revealing a tantalizing glimpse of skin, while the back dips into a daring V, leaving just enough to the imagination. You take a deep breath, steeling yourself for the reactions of your companions, before stepping out of the dressing room to reveal yourself to them.

Feyre gasps in awe as she lays eyes on you, her expression filled with admiration. "Wow, Y/N, you look absolutely stunning," she exclaims, her voice filled with genuine wonder.

Mor and Nesta nod in agreement, their eyes wide with astonishment. "That dress was made for you," Mor adds. As you gaze at your reflection in the mirror, a surge of confidence courses through you. It's been so long since you've worn anything other than fighting leathers, and the sensation of silk against your skin is a welcome change. You feel sexy, beautiful, and alive in a way that you haven't in months, the weight of responsibility and duty momentarily lifted from your shoulders. For the first time in what feels like forever, you allow yourself to revel in the simple pleasure of feeling feminine and desirable.

But amidst the rush of excitement and adrenaline, there's a nagging voice in the back of your mind, whispering of doubts and insecurities. What will Azriel think when he sees you like this? Will he be pleased, impressed, or will he merely see you as the same old friend he's always known? You bite your bottom lip nervously at the thought, a flush rising to your cheeks as you imagine his reaction. But deep down, beneath the layers of uncertainty and self-doubt, there's a spark of hope flickering within you, a glimmer of possibility that maybe, just maybe, he'll see you in a new light. That maybe the feelings you had harbored for him for the past two centuries weren’t one-sided.

With a determined shake of your head, you banish the doubts from your mind, focusing instead on the here and now. Tonight, you'll revel in the joy of the moment, surrounded by friends who love and support you unconditionally. And tomorrow, well, tomorrow is another day. "I must say, I almost forgot you had it in you to clean up so nicely."

You roll your eyes playfully at Mor's teasing remark, unable to suppress a laugh at her antics. "Oh, please, Mor," you quip, your tone laced with mock indignation. "You act as if I've been wearing armor for the past century." Feyre chuckles, her eyes dancing with mirth. "Well, you certainly seem to be enjoying yourself in that dress," she remarks with a knowing smile.

Nesta, ever the pragmatist, raises an eyebrow skeptically. "Yes, but can you actually afford it?" she asks dryly, her tone tinged with amusement. You feign offense at Nesta's remark "Of course I can afford it, Nesta," you reply with a playful smirk. "I'll just put it on Rhysand's tab."

The group erupts into laughter at your comment. With a final twirl in front of the mirror, you turn to the shopkeeper with a grin. "I'll take it," you declare confidently, a sense of satisfaction washing over you as you make your purchase. "And put it on Rhysand's tab, of course."

The shopkeeper chuckles at your remark, nodding in agreement as she wraps the dress in delicate tissue paper. "Very well, Miss Y/N" she says with a smile. "I'll be sure to send the bill to the High Lord's estate."

With your new dress in hand and your spirits lifted, you bid farewell to the boutique and make your way back into the bustling streets of Velaris.

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Azriel strolls through the lush gardens of Tarquin's estate, the relentless heat of the Summer Court bearing down on him with an intensity that he finds almost suffocating. Sweat beads on his brow, trickling down his temples as he walks, and he can't help but curse the relentless sun that beats down from above, as if intent on draining him of every last ounce of energy.

He sighs heavily as he reflects on his current predicament, his thoughts drifting to the far-off lands of his homeland where snow, cold, and winter reign supreme. The sweltering heat of the Summer Court is a stark contrast to the familiar chill of the Night Court, and Azriel can't help but wonder if it's possible that he's somehow managed to burn his wings in the sun. But such thoughts are quickly pushed aside as he reminds himself of the task at hand. Everything had gone well with his meeting with Tarquin, and now he simply longs to retire to his chambers and escape the oppressive heat for a few precious hours of rest.

As he continues on his way, Azriel can't help but think about the upcoming Starfall celebration. Tomorrow would mark the end of his short mission in the Summer Court, and he couldn't wait to return home to Velaris. The thought of spending Starfall without Y/N weighs heavily on his mind, and he can't help but feel a pang of longing in his chest at the prospect. Suddenly, a voice breaks through his thoughts, a familiar presence intruding upon his mind with the ease of a whisper on the wind. It's Rhys, reaching out to him.

"Enjoying the summer heat, brother?" Rhys's voice echoes in his mind, a hint of amusement lacing his words. "Remember, not all of us are fortunate enough to have wings to shield us from the sun's rays."

Azriel can't help but snort at Rhys's teasing, the sound reverberating silently within his own mind. "I'd take a blizzard over this heat any day," he replies, his tone dry with sarcasm. "At least in the Winter Court, I wouldn't feel like I'm about to melt into a puddle."

Rhys's laughter fills his mind. "Ah, but where's the fun in that?" he quips "Besides, think of it as a challenge. A test of endurance, if you will."

Azriel shakes his head incredulously at his brother's words, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips despite himself. "You would find amusement in my suffering, wouldn't you?" he retorts. But Rhys's next words carry a weight of sincerity that catches Azriel off guard. "In all seriousness, Az, you'll be home before you know it," He assures him, his voice filled with warmth and encouragement. "Starfall is just around the corner, and there are loved ones eagerly awaiting your return."

There's a cryptic hint in Rhys's words, a subtle suggestion that Azriel can't quite decipher. He furrows his brows in confusion, his mind racing as he tries to make sense of his brother's words. After all, he's only been gone for a week.  Rhys's voice fades from Azriel's mind, leaving him with a sense of calm and reassurance. "Until tomorrow, brother," he murmurs silently.

Azriel retreats for the night, the weight of exhaustion heavy on his shoulders. As he settles into his chambers, a sense of relief washes over him at the thought of returning home tomorrow.

His mind wanders to how he'll spend his first day back in Velaris, imagining the familiar streets and faces that he's missed so dearly the past week. But amidst the anticipation, there's a nagging sense of longing that tugs at his heart. Clasping his scarred hands together, Azriel reaches into the pocket of his bag and pulls out a crumpled piece of parchment. It's a letter from Y/N, the only way they've been able to stay in contact while she's been away on her mission.

He doesn't know why he took the letter with him, but holding it in his hands brings a sense of serenity and comfort. Even though their last exchanged letters had been about a month ago, knowing that Y/N is safe and well brings him a measure of peace.

With a sigh, Azriel unfolds the parchment and reads over her words once more, the familiar handwriting bringing a smile to his lips. He makes a silent promise to himself to write to her as soon as he gets home. But now, as he prepares to return home for the celebration, he can't help but feel a pang of sadness at the thought of Y/N missing out. He wonders what she might be doing on Starfall, if she's found a way to make the most of the day despite being apart from their shared family.

Azriel knew how she hadn’t missed a single Starfall since… The heavy feeling of subdued rage settles in the pits of his stomach at the thought of what she endured during those dark years under the Mountain. He wishes he could have been there to protect her, to shield her from the horrors of their captivity.

His thoughts drift to a darker memory then, one that haunts him even now. He remembers her broken body, her spirit shattered and her light dimmed, when she and Rhys returned after Feyre broke the curse. The sight of her lying there, broken and bruised, fills him with a sense of sorrow and rage unlike anything he's ever known. He can still feel the weight of her pain, the echoes of her suffering lingering in the recesses of his mind. In that moment, all he wanted was to take her pain away, to hold her close and mend her broken spirit.  Azriel thinks of the first Starfall after they returned from under the mountain, how Y/N had opened up about her grief and trauma for the first time. He can still see the sadness in her eyes, the weight of her pain etched into every line of her face. It was a stark contrast to the joyous celebration unfolding around them, a reminder of the darkness that still lingered. From that day forward, Y/N never missed a single Starfall celebration.

As Azriel drifts off to sleep, frustration gnaws at his insides like a relentless beast. Despite his best efforts to push Y/N from his mind, she lingers there like a haunting specter, her presence weaving through his thoughts and dreams with an undeniable persistence. Rubbing his hand over his face in a futile attempt to banish the memories, Azriel can't help but feel a sense of shame at the intensity of his longing for her. He prides himself on his control, on his ability to keep his emotions in check, but she has a way of unraveling him like no one else.

And then there are the dreams - vivid and all-consuming, they play out like scenes from a forbidden fantasy, leaving Azriel feeling both exhilarated and guilty in their wake. They were friends. Just friends. Best friends, actually. And even though this urge was nothing completely unfamiliar, these thoughts had overtaken him completely as soon as she left.

Again his mind wandered. Asking himself how her lips would feel clashing against his, how she would wrap her arms around his neck, having to crane her neck for a kiss due to their height difference. What she would taste like, what sounds he could coax out of her. How those exact plush lips would feel wrapped around his cock.- A growl leaves him through clenched teeth. His eyebrows pinched as he squeezes his eyes shut, palming himself through his briefs. Confusion etched on his beautiful face then, because he just could not understand. She was his best friend, so why could he not stop thinking about her like this? Thus, so very determined, he decided that this had to change, while simultaneously fisting his heavy cock in one of his hands. "Fuck"

☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆

I hope you enjoyed this little piece of my imagination. Feedback is always welcome and appreciated! Please let me know if you'd like a part 2 :)

[hypnagogics]

how soon is now? | part one

READ THIS FIRST 🇵🇸

teasers: one. two. series masterlist. next part here!!

♡: hallway crush!ellie x uni student!reader

☆: listen, i know this timeline is kind of ridiculous, but i’ve organized it all best as i can! this is the expanded story based on those first little blurbs introducing the au (reads fine on its own though), and this part specifically was originally going to be one huge fic, but i've ultimately decided to split it up and drop the first part now, because i feel like it ends in a convenient enough space where i can make a separation not so jarring. so that means this will have a direct continuation (how soon is now? 2 ? lol this is so stupid-), and that will be posted soon enough once i finish it! but yes that means after so much waiting, it's finally here for y’all. i literally thought up this silly idea right before i passed out on new years, and never expected y’all to love it so much…but i keep my promises, so here. also love the smiths and felt the title sort of fit. i feel like not too much happens but eh anyway, thank you for waiting, thank you for reading, and please enjoy!

♧:4.6k word count

◇:suggestive but not explicit - horny descriptions and tension, however no smut (for now?….BUT DON'T HOLD ME TO THAT.) no descriptions of reader’s physical appearance, no use of “y/n”, slow-burn construction and loooooads of pining, a lot of build up but stay with me, attempts at occasional foreshadowing, smau elements(text messages lmao), savage starlight is a plot point lol, hallwaycrush!ellie is sort of a mix of loser/modern/university au/dorky-ish ellie I DON'T EVEN KNOW. abby is your bestie, girl what else do i put here- this is just kinda plot, plot, and more plot progression about the whole ordeal, and me indulging my obsession with modern!ellie. (lmk if there's anything to be added!)

“Abbyyyyyyyyyy.” 

You rolled around your lifelong best friend’s bed, babbling her ear off while she studied away at her desk, or tried to at least. This situation has been a daily occurrence for weeks at this point.

Laying on your stomach facing away from her, you could hear her scoff in annoyance. “What?” “Please give me some advice..I don't know what I'm even supposed to do. She's driving me up the wall." This crush was the sole thing occupying your poor mind, so naturally, you had to drown your bestie with your troubles as well. That's what friends do. Abby spun around on her chair to face you, with a clearly fed up expression on her face, and leaning forward, resting her elbows on her knees. 

“Well I don’t fucking know man, I’ve already given you my best advice, and that's either introduce yourself, or suffer.” She said coolly. You sat up and groaned. Wasn't there an easier way? One that didn't involve actually taking initiative and doing something? Maybe, hypothetically, you ace a test, and the professor announces it in front of everyone as he emotionally congratulates his star student, and she bounds over, beaming. Then tearfully confesses her love and admiration for you- hold on, where the fuck is this going?

“Oh come on, you know I can’t do that..” You gulped a burning bundle of anxiety down as you replayed the scenarios with your obsession for the thousandth time that day, the mere crumbs you were forced to fixate on until you saw her next, the first sighting that started this whole fiasco,  and shook your head to clear it and listen to what your best friend had to say. She sighed and rubbed her eyes, slamming her textbook shut and making her way over to sit next to you.

“Listen babe, I love you, but you really gotta get ahold of yourself, alright?” She spoke sternly, looking you straight in the eyes to make sure you understood and absorbed every last word she said. “Listen, here's what you're gonna do. when you pass her in the hall, smile, it's simple but it's a classic, okay? And then you listen to the lecturer as normal, right? I have no idea what you nerds do in astrophysics, but that's besides my point. Make sure to pay attention and not stare only at her like a stalker or something, I cannot stress enough how normal you gotta be. But here's where it gets good, you still with me?” 

You're listening to her for sure, and nod vigorously. Crystal clear. She continues, “Okay you said you sit as far as possible from her? Sheesh, why'd you do that? When the class is over I want you to go over to her, and introduce yourself. Catch her on her way out, tap her on the shoulder if you're feeling bold. Ask for some of her contact details, play it cool. Just don't shit yourself, got it? All you gotta do." 

Abby finishes her speech, smirking and looking smug. She's positive she got through to you this time. On the surface you're totally chill, confident even, ready to snatch this ethereal being for yourself, however underneath all that you knew you didn't have an ounce of the courage that was required for this seemingly impossible task. 

Breathing deeply to calm yourself and try to take in her helpful words as best as possible, you give Abby a hug. “Thank you Abs, really. I'll do my best. Oh, but what if I freak out and start stuttering- or what if I trip and fall on her…I can't do this what the hell.” Swarmed with worry, you start doubting yourself yet again. Burying your face in your palms, you feel two strong hands on either side of your upper arms and you look back at Abby, who's really not playing around anymore. 

She was so serious about this it almost scared you. Either she cared about you more than anything, or she wanted to hear the end of these pathetic, lovestruck rambles. You prayed it was the former. 

“Suck it up. You can do this. You've had crushes before haven't you? This should be a piece of cake c’mon, I believe in you. Make sure to keep me updated every step of the way! I need to hear every last detail.” She lightens up at the end and releases you from her grip once she sees you've relaxed. 

Unsurprisingly, your best friend always knew what to say to snap you out of your spirals. Maybe most would disagree with her methods, say she was being rough, but they worked for you. Heart rate returning to a normal pace, you reply genuinely. 

“Okay, okay I got this. Yeah, it'll be fine.” She was getting through to you, this time you felt sure of it. “Good, good. Now will you let me finish this stupid assignment? Then we can watch something or do whatever." Abby chatted as she got up and sat back at her desk, resuming her studious endeavor as she left you with your thoughts. 

Immediately you heard her mutter, “All this and you don't even know her goddamn name…good grief.” For the sake of preserving the peace you chose to graciously ignore that one. She said she wanted some quiet, didn't she? 

Drifting away into a sea of daydreams, your thoughts inevitably returned to being clouded by this cryptic figure. It was like she'd cast a love spell on you. Did she even know who you were? Or did she shoot everyone those insufferably charming looks of hers. Was she even aware of how fucking cool she was? 

Dressed in that deliciously grungy style, you yearned to know what floated behind her greener-than-grass eyes. Her hair looked so smooth and soft, the wispy auburnette strands framing her refined features, intriguing fern tattoo decorating her lean forearm…. You felt your cheeks begin to heat up as a portrait of her materialized in your mind's eye. Nestling into the comfortable atmosphere of your best friend's room, you sunk deeper into your thoughts.

Like Abby had mentioned, it certainly wasn't as if you've never had crushes before, you've certainly had your fair share of them, like most people. But that was a sort of flaky, surface level interest, whether it be for their looks, their little quirks, or ways they treated you. Maybe it has been a while since you'd had a proper crush, but you couldn't recall a time when the infatuation, the pure limerence, had hit you this hard before. You almost felt helpless, just besotted by her.

You simply needed to act on this. Right then and there you steeled yourself, and decided you were going to follow Abby's advice after all, and go after this hallway crush. Worst comes to worst, she turns you down, you get over it eventually, bla bla end of story. It wasn't going to be too complicated, right?

You and Abby had stayed up all night, dusk till dawn, gossiping about things other than your hallway crush, shocking, and you were greatly regretting that decision the very moment it was time to gather your books and get to class.

You really did not feel like stunning everyone around you with a gorgeous outfit today, you were just trying to make it through the day in one piece to be honest with yourself. 

With a pounding headache you threw on some mismatched sweats, and ran out the door to be on time. Your bag felt unreasonably heavy as you made your way down your apartment stairs, and you cursed your past self for choosing a building without an elevator. Sure, exercise is healthy, but it can’t be when you’re feeling like a zombie, and wish for nothing more than a good, long nap.

Luckily the lecture hall was a comfortable distance away from your place, not far enough to make it a pain, but enough so you could get a much needed breath of fresh air. The tiredness had pushed all plans of action you and Abby had discussed the previous night to the back of your head, and you weren't thinking of your crush at all. At least for now. 

Walking slowly with your gaze pointed downward, you eventually made it to the hall. Completely dazed and zoned out, you made a mental note to never pull an all nighter again, gross, who’s idea was that- thump. 

Out of nowhere you're rudely jolted from your silent sulking by colliding with something, or someone? It takes a moment to register what happened, and you quickly look up from staring at the ground to sort the situation out. “Oh my gosh I am so sorry..” 

Profusely apologizing while simultaneously being smacked across the face with the realization of who this was. Her. Your words trail off as you’re suddenly winded, and you feel your blood run cold. You’re transfixed by the intense eye contact, and it feels like time has stopped. Goodness, this is dramatic. 

In the time it takes for you to briefly die and come back to life, the young woman has lowered her chunky headphones so they rest around her neck, Morissey’s vocals faintly floating out of them, and is looking at your stunned state with an indiscernible sneer playing on her face. Was this actually happening? Holy shit you and Abby did not discuss this scenario…you weren’t looking where you were going and had collided with an actual Earth angel. Great.

Still gawking at her like an absolute buffoon, akin to a deer in headlights, she breaks the tension first, with a smooth voice that you would obey virtually any command for. 

“Nah, you’re good.” And a wink. Your heart skipped a beat, or four, when you witnessed her wink at you. Did you imagine it? Was she being suave on purpose or did she have an eyelash in her eye…Was your life a literal rom-com or what? 

“Um..” Your mouth opens and closes in an attempt to form a coherent sentence, but your brain is much too fried to do so because, well, you had just made physical contact with the literal girl of your dreams. And gods did she smell good…while you’re unable to tear your eyes away from hers, she keeps talking as if nothing happened.

“I think the prof had an emergency or fuckin’, I dunno.” She stops to gesture around the two of you at the crowd that had formed in front of the auditorium’s double doors with elegant, ring adorned fingers..holy fuck you needed those inside you right fucking now- WHAT. 

Briskly shoving those thoughts down to the deepest depths of your subconscious back to where they belong, you turned your attention back to her, and put on a brave front. Hyper aware of how searing hot your face felt, her pretty self didn't show a hint of caring that you were making a fool of yourself. They say that any situation is always worse in your head than it was in actuality, well you hoped so. 

“So, what are we supposed to do now?” Clearing your throat you managed a sentence back, hooray. You were doing this. Good job. Although, of course, before the gorgeous nymph before you had a chance to respond with her own assumptions, a substitute lecturer you had never seen before pushes his way through the crowd and unlocks the door while people file in, separating you from her. You felt like Rose, viciously torn away from Jack from Titanic, what a cruel, cruel world this was.

And once again you didn't get to ask her name. Re-slinging her bag with one arm, she looks back at you one final time and throws you a “cya around.” Before disappearing into the auditorium with everyone else. You meekly nod at her and force a lopsided smile, before leaning against the wall to steady yourself after that fiasco in the now empty hallway.

Wasting virtually not a moment of time, you pulled your phone out and began furiously texting Abby with a recount of the events at a speed faster than the speed of light. 

Once that excruciatingly torturous class was over, you applauded yourself for containing the stares in her direction and keeping your eyes fixated on the professor. Whether you actually retained any information, now that was a different story. Picking up your bags and laptop, you stay behind for a moment as everyone else files out, no need to crowd and suffocate amongst the other students, and you had nowhere to be except catch up on your favorite shows and relax all by yourself. 

Filing out the auditorium with everyone else, you see a familiar face pass by you, and vaguely hear Abby’s voice in your head urging you to seize the moment. Now’s your chance, go! And so you gather every little bit of strength you possess to do just that. 

After a couple deep breaths you jog up to her. “Uh, hey.” She turns around and gives you a warm smile, making your legs instantly turn to jelly. You subtly checked her out and took in her outfit, another bulky jacket and lightly distressed jeans. Fingers studded with layered silver rings, and those big ole headphones seemed to be magnetically attached to her, she always had them on her. Note to self: ask for some music recommendations.

She was even hotter up close…with a beautiful galaxy of freckles scattered across her fair skin, you wanted to place a kiss on every single of them. “I, um, never caught your name.” “It's Ellie.” She sticks out her hand for a handshake and you accepted it, you finally had a name to the face you've been pining over so intensely for so long. Abby was going to lose it once you tell her about this. You steady your voice and hide the glee that was likely evident from this interaction going so smoothly, and introduce yourself to her as well.

After some time of idle chit chat and standing there, neither one of you knowing really what to say, Ellie pipes up, facepalming, tsking, and furrowing her brows. “Oh yeah, I don’t mean to spring this on you outta nowhere, but would you wanna study sometime?” She flushes a dusty pink, “I don't know anyone else taking this course and am having kind of a hard time with it...when I chose it, I expected it to be more about space and the planets, and less about numbers and math, my head hurts.”

Her demeanor was making you feel rather comfortable with her, even though the two of you had just formally met a few minutes prior. “I would love to, yeah!” Maybe you were being a little too enthusiastic, but at this point you were operating on pure instinct and not thinking critically of what was coming out of your mouth. “I actually don't have any plans now, or today at all, so if you want to, we can get a head start before the next class?” Well that just slipped out. Go you, blurting things out. 

You had no idea why you'd said that because your place was an absolute mess, clothes strewn everywhere, trash can still full, you'd been too preoccupied with your studies, and well her, to do much about it. To your horror, Ellie exclaims, “Hey, that's perfect! I don't have anything to do right now either, and it would be good to act on it while it's still fresh in my mind, y’know?” Her face morphs into an adorable toothy grin as she taps on her skull comically, you were becoming more obsessed by the second, if that was even possible.

Every little sliver of her personality you got to see under the stoic one you had assumed she had just grasped at your heartstrings. You smiled back at her so hard you almost pulled a muscle in your cheeks, “Awesome! Follow me, then, my dorm isn't far.”

The walk there was mostly fine as the two of you made it to your place, Ellie occasionally making comments about how she hates the class even though she adores outer space and learning about it on her own time, and you were nodding and acting as if you're listening, agreeing with her robotically while she rambled away and you daydreamed about what her lush lips would feel like on yours. You wondered if she was gentle with it, or if she’d kiss you hungrily, devour you like her very last meal….gulp.

Leading her to your place was an automatic task, not much navigation needed, and when the journey was done you had to legitimately stop short for a moment in an attempt to soothe the pounding in your chest. 

The crush that has plagued your mind for ages, who you've just met formally today, was about to be in your room. The two of you were about to be alone. That was totally fine, yeah, she can't be a murderer…..right?

“You good?” She asked sweetly, why did she have to be so nice, “Those stairs were killer, I totally get it, phew.” “Oh for sure, gets me every time.” Covering up your panic smoothly, you unlocked the door and went inside with her. When she walked inside, Ellie took a glance around your room and set herself down at the edge of your bed, immediately making herself comfortable, while you still lingered in the doorway, awkwardly swaying and staring at her, unsure of what to do with yourself. 

Suddenly you had completely forgotten why she was here in the first place. “No way, you read Savage Starlight too???” She spotted the figurine on your desk and snatched it up in her hands to inspect it thoroughly, with a childlike wonder in her eyes. “Wow, this one was a limited edition and it sold out in like an hour, I'm so jealous you got this!! How much you want for it, I'm serious.” She was so excited, and you couldn't believe it. Savage Starlight has always been one of your favorite comics ever, you've loved it since you were a young teen, and now this seemingly perfect human before you, who you're hopelessly obsessed with says she loves it too? Could she get any more flawless, is all you could wonder.

Her happiness because of this little thing you two bonded over was infectious, and some of your nerves slowly began to go away.  Grinning genuinely, you sheepishly said, “I've never met anyone else who likes it, that story has helped me through lots of phases in my life, and Daniela was my gay awakening.” Ellie gaped at you for a beat, making you almost doubt revealing that information.

“No. Fuckin’. Way. Mine too! Her suit was just- damn. And those action scenes in the third volume had my thirteen year old self’s brain just mush for, I don't even know for how long. This is crazy, I can already see we’re gonna get along so well.”

You wanted to talk to her about everything and anything forever, and her glee made you want to squish her, but there was unfortunately work to be done first. “There’s so much we have to discuss, but we gotta get some studying done first if we wanna make it out of this course alive.”

You were sitting at your desk, hunched over the sprawled out textbooks and messy notes, as you drew the graphs and talked to her about the concepts she was struggling with. Your desk was so small and you only had one chair, and you were the one using it, so Ellie was forced to hover over you to see all you were doing.

Focusing solely on the subject before you was proving to be more difficult as studying time went by, because you were a little too aware of the way she had caged you in against the desk to watch, her oversized shirt grazing your upper back. You gripped your pen ever so tightly to minimize any trembling, and kept a steady voice as best you could while explaining it all.

She was so, so close, the tension in the tiny room was palpable, she didn't seem to notice your nervous tremors or the proximity she’d created, and the low murmurs of, “ohhh, mhm, yeah,” as you embarrassingly stammered over your explanations made you flushed and to be frank, needy. You could feel her warmth radiating off of her, could faintly hear her breathing just above you. You didn't dare move a muscle. Was she feeling this too?

At this point you swore the delicious gravelly vibrations from her voice this close to you would be plenty enough to make you cream your pants. The air in the enclosed space was getting hotter and thicker by every passing moment, it took everything you had to keep yourself from losing your mind right now. If you moved back a petty few inches, you’d be pressed flush with her front. What would that be like, you wondered. Oh, no. Your throat felt drier than the desert when you swallowed, the thought of that making you weak.

Since your focus on the work was lapsing, you were beginning to make some little mistakes and blunders, compelling her to take the pen right from your hand and fix them herself. “No, no, this one’s supposed to be like this instead, see? Then you're able to get the right answer which is…” She stretches over you further, you nearly whined, someone save you, and grabs the textbook to review the solution. “Like this, yeah, I was right. Honest mistake though, don’t worry about it.”

You nod your head and make a pathetic murmur of approval, ignoring the fiery tingles spreading all the way up your arm when her hand bumps yours to return the writing utensil, and the blistering coil of want forming in your stomach. This all had to be deliberate, right? She couldn't lack that much spatial awareness, could she? Well, it wasn’t that you minded, she could get as close as she damn wanted to, you'd let her throw you around like a ragdoll even- you were just afraid your heart was going to give out if she kept it up. “Could you show me this work you guys did? Of course the one day I'm late, the prof talks about something new and I miss it.” 

What feels like an eternity later, you hear her groan above you and she returns to her earlier spot on your bed. You can finally breathe properly. Glancing at the clock, your own headache begins to set in. Crap it was late, how time flies. 

“We’ve been studying for so long, it’s getting late.” “Shit, you’re right, I’ve definitely overstayed my welcome. Sorry about that, and hey, thanks for this. I understand it all a lot better now, see you tomorrow.”

She stands up abruptly and ushers herself out of your door in a flash, to which you clumsily stand up, knock your chair over, and hastily run after her, not wanting her to go just yet. “Wait, Ellie!” “What's up, did I forget something?”

She pats her pockets and looks at you with concern. Round puppy dog eyes, and lips in a miniscule pout, so cute. You were in front of her now, but did not process what you actually wanted to say. Just ran after her like the smitten nincompoop you are. Upon feeling your face go hot, you look at the ground to mutter, “Uh- nothing. See you later.” Realistically, what were you planning on saying, or doing?

After stumbling over your words you two finally part ways and you slump down against your door, missing her presence already. You simultaneously wanted to jump around or open your bedside table drawer to release the energy you'd accumulated, and wanted to fall into the deepest sleep of your life to recuperate from the experience. This was just, a lot. You wanted to scream and screech like there's no tomorrow, but did not want to deal with noise complaints from the others living on your floor. Gosh she was so close, she shares your niche interest, your hands touched, albeit accidentally, lo and behold you were in love with her.

Maybe it was early to call it that, but you were going to plan out your future together. Preferably a quaint, peaceful farmhouse, the one you two lovebirds renovated together exactly how you envisioned, where you could ogle her doing the farmwork. Ugh. Cook all her favorite meals, make sweet, sweet love under the moonlight. Take strolls through the flower gardens you two planted, receive her curated bouquets as gifts, you two are going to have such a tender, domestic life. 

You had to mull it over some more, and didn’t dare wish to forget how close she was to you, you were still buzzing from her essence. You were pointlessly pacing around your room now, unable to stop looping the study session's events in your head. The simplicity, the eroticism of the encounter. One-sided or not, you had yet to find out more about her, the impatience was going to take over. The day almost seemed too good to be true, but for now you had to force yourself to relax and think about something other than her. Time to browse Pinterest with striking kitchen ideas for your beautiful future. 

What were you going to say to her the next time you see her? You were eager to know how, or if at all, this new friendship was going to progress. Part of you was dying of impatience, but the rest of you wanted to take it all as slow as possible, savoring every little moment and making the most of it. 

You sighed, this was going to be a long, long, year.

lovely taggies: @amiorca @mostlyhornyandsad @lasting-lover @radioheadfan699 @sophie-thefrog8 @machetegirl109 @ellieschair @aouiaa @wavesgocrash @tangerinngi @elliesbitchvenus @dinaissoprettyoml @rxreaqia @camicocom1a @elliesexual @ellslvr @boobdrug @writing-on-a-bathroom-stall @bready101 @yourelliewillms

.......really hoping this doesn't flop because it isn't smutty, yall wanted more fics that are plot soooo

[hellodarling1357]

Could I request Cass trying to seduce and get readers attention who’s playing hard to get? I need more flirty Cass 😩

Touched by an Angel - Cassian x Reader

This request was so much fun to write!!! Thanks for sending it in lovely anon, hopefully you like it 💕

Excuse the cheesy pickup lines, you know I had to do it…

I’m slowly working through my WIPs and inbox so please send me some more requests!!

Enjoy 🥰

Word Count: 3k

Regardless of the fact that you and Mor had been friends for well over two centuries, Rhy was only just now granting you access into Velaris after much persuasion from his cousin. The plan being you were to stay with Mor for two weeks while she had some time off from her work so that you could properly catch up after being apart for far too long.

Your first night in the City of Starlight was an eventful one to say the least. During the day, you had let Mor show you around the markets and the Rainbow, stopping to have a late lunch along the Sidra, before she dragged you back to her place to get ready for a night out at Rita's. You had heard a lot about the club over your years of friendship, so you were excited to experience a night there for yourself.

After a few too many glasses of wine over the time it took to get ready, you were well on your way to being very, very drunk before you even stepped inside the crowded establishment. Straight away, Mor was pulling you to the bar before promptly placing a shot glass of some pink-looking drink into your hand, followed by another, and another, leaving you feeling giddy with excitement and the overwhelming desire to dance.

So dance you did.

The hours passed and you briefly remember being introduced to some of Mor's friends, not paying much attention as the music and sway of bodies consumed you. However, the overwhelming heat of the swarm of fae pressed so tightly around you eventually got the better of you. You turned on the spot, looking for you friend to tell her you were going to take a breather, only to find her wrapped around a female and very clearly distracted. With a grin spread across your face, you pushed your way through the masses and headed towards the door.

The fresh air was a welcoming change to the stuffiness you had walked out of. But it was the sight before you that had an expression of awe sketched across your face. Velaris had been pretty in the daylight, but at night? You had never seen anything like it.

"It sure is something, isn't it?" You whipped around to face the deep voice that had spoken from behind you.

"I know you." It wasn't a question. The male in front of you did look familiar.

"Yeah, I'm Cassian. One of Mor's friends. We met earlier?" You nodded with a vague recollection of the tall, muscled figure who had seemed to tower over the rest of the dancing fae.

"Right," But you were distracted by the slanted smirk of his full lips, the slight alcohol-induced haze in his eyes tracked your every movement.

You lent side-by-side against the alleyway wall, talking about whatever mundane thing came to mind before an 'acceptable' enough amount of time had passed, then Cassian had you pressed against said wall. Your legs wrapped tightly around his waist, his mouth attacking your neck with bruising kisses, while you moaned out, not caring who heard, at the feel of him inside you. With a final cry, you became undone in his arms, squeezing around him until he came with a guttural groan. You held onto him for support as he helped steady you back onto your feet, afraid your knees would give out as you panted into the chill night air, the thrum of music and excited chatter reminding you of where you were.

"Well, I should probably...," you motioned behind you towards the door, "Mor is probably looking for me."

"Right. I'll see you later, yeah?"

Cassian waited until you had walked back inside Rita's before deciding to call it a, very pleasant, night and flew back to the House of Wind.

*****

You awoke the next morning with a pounding headache, your stomach churning in a sickly way as the sunlight pooled in through the open curtains.

Mor let out a groan next to you, slamming a pillow over her face before soft snores sounded again. With a groan of your own, you forced yourself out of bed and headed to the bathroom.

You looked like absolute shit.

Your hair was a mess on top of your head, strands having escaped the band you used to pull it out of your face. Dark smudges were smeared around your eyes, a stark contrast to the pale and clammy complexion of your skin. Your eyebrows furrowed even further at the sight of the splattering of hickeys that trailed along the side of your neck and across your chest. Clearly it had been a bigger night than you thought because you had zero recollection of how, or when, they got there. Or, more importantly, who gave them to you.

"You look like you've been attacked by a leech."

You shoved Mor as she stood beside you, observing herself in the mirror with a frown. She looked just as bad, if not worse, than you did.

"You can fuck right off, thank you very much." Your friend just shot you a stunning, if not slightly pained, grin.

"Ugh, come on. Showers then we're going to Rhys' for breakfast," She chucked you a towel before walking out to give you some privacy.

As if in after thought, she threw over her shoulder, "Want me to leave a scarf out for you to cover them up?" You slammed the door in her face, the wooden panel not blocking out her laughter as she asked, "Or would you prefer a jumper? Something with a high neckline?"

*****

Walking past the gate of the High Lord's town house, you knew should definitely be feeling somewhat nervous as the prospect of having a casual, albeit hungover, breakfast with him and his inner circle. But the fact that you were hungover, and that the heavenly smell of bacon was wafting towards you, had all pretences flying out the window.

You and Mor were the first to arrive, or more like, the first to drag yourselves out of bed, so had first dibs of the spread of food before you.

Looking a little green, Mor mumbled something about needing to get some fresh air, leaving you alone to eat your eggs in peace. That peace was short lived, however, as the sound of heavy footfalls coming down the stairs reminded you that there were others in the house, and whose house it was for that matter.

Mor waltzed into the room at the same time as the three Illyrian males, you knew Rhys straight away, having met him a few times throughout the years, but the other two only looked vaguely familiar. You were sure you could pinpoint their names if you thought about it hard enough but, alas, your brain was still not properly functioning.

There was a chorus of muffled "mornings" but other than that, everyone was content to eat, and suffer, in silence.

You eventually got up, taking a pile of dishes into the kitchen, vaguely aware of one of the males following behind you.

He let out a low whistle before saying, "Well, I clearly left an impression."

Your brows furrowed in confusion, turning to face the male as you studied his face.

"Do I know you?" Under normal circumstances, you wouldn't have been so blunt. You would have at least tried to feign some sort of confusion, 'I thought you looked familiar', 'of course, what was your name again?' but with your head still spinning you couldn't bring yourself to care.

"Yes," He let out a laugh that quickly faltered as your evident confusion remained, "We had sex. Last night…"

You blinked as he waved a hand towards your neck, where the marks were still very clearly visible. But before you could say anything, laughter sounded from the other room as a stream of taunts filtered in.

"I thought you said that you were good in bed, Cass. That's just embarrassing, not even a few hours later and poor Y/N has already forgotten all about you."

“Left an impression, my ass.”

Cassian

That's right, you could place him now. Him, and the somewhat blurred memory of frantic and passionate kisses, muscled arms holding you tightly, the sounds of...

Yep, you remembered.

Clearly not deterred in the slightest, Cassian gave you a dazzling smile, running a hand through his tousled hair before saying with a wink, "That's alright, I'll just have to make it more memorable for you next time."

You scrunched your nose at the implication. Sure, he was attractive. Honestly, one of the most attractive males you had ever laid eyes on. But you knew better than to fall for the clearly tried-and-tested smirk that you had no doubt had been used on countless females before you.

"Thanks," You noted the glint in his eyes as he continued fixing you with that intent glaze, "but I'll pass."

You walked towards the collection of snorts and laughter as you left Cassian standing in the kitchen with the stack of dishes, a slightly dumbfounded expression on his face.

*****

A few days into your visit, Mor had left you to your own devices for a few hours, which was how you ended up stretched out on one of the seats in the town house's garden, a book in hand as you basked in the sun. You were slightly aware of the back door opening and closing but paid it no real heed, that is, until the shadow of someone standing in front of you pulled your eyes away from the page.

You looked up expectantly, already anticipating the direction the conversation was heading in; having grown accustomed to Cassian's flirtations and not so subtle attempts of wooing you since that first morning.

"Is this seat taken?"

You looked towards the empty seat he was pointing at, and the one beside it, and the one beside that.

"Yes, it is. No go away, you're blocking the sun." You looked back down at your book, not sparing him a second glance.

"We can't have that now, can we, sweetheart?"

For a moment you thought he had actually listened to you and was heading back inside, that is until you quickly glanced up and found him sprawled across the glass, staring up at you with a smirk.

"What? You said that seat was taken. And at least from down here I'm not blocking the sun. You don't mind if I join you, do you?"

You stared ahead in frustration before letting out a huff as you returned to your book, not missing the grin that had spread over Cassian's face at your reaction.

A few minutes of silenced had passed, you had almost forgotten about Cassian's presence until he let out a soft laugh and said, "I hope you don't mind me saying, but you, right now, the way the sun is shining on you, you look like an absolute vision."

You shifted in your seat trying to ignore the irritation that simmered away.

"What is this? What are you doing?" You snapped back, not giving him a chance to answer, "Is this your way of flirting with me?"

Without missing a beat, Cassian answered, "Yes. Is it working?"

The wink he sent you had your indignantly moving your book up to block him out, and to prevent him from seeing the traitorous blush that spread across your cheeks.

*****

A few night later, you were having dinner with Mor and the rest of the inner circle, having grown quite close to some of them over the week you had been staying.

"You know what I don't get?" Cassian, who sat across from you, asked, "What I don't get, is how someone as beautiful as you could possibly be single. And, the funny thing is, I also happen to be single, but we can easily change that. How about it, Y/N? Fancy a drink?"

"Oh, I would but... I've already got one. Thanks anyway." You gave him a pretty little smile as you raised your glass before turning back to your conversation with Mor and Amren.

"Better luck next time," You heard Azriel say through a laugh as Rhys ruffled Cassian's hair.

*****

The next time you saw Cassian, he had run into the kitchen at an alarming speed, a slight look of panic in his eyes as you cautiously observed him.

“Y/N, I’m being serious, I need your help,” Your eyes crinkled in concern, “Please. Can I please borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.”

The faux-panicked look was quickly overtaken by a wide cheesy grin as he leant in towards you.

“Cassian,” You yelled, whacking him with a tea towel, “You prick! I thought something serious happened.”

“Something serious did happen, Y/N. The night we met, and you stole my heart… That alleyway will never be the same after what we shared there.”

You threw the tea towel at him as you stomped out of the room, passing a confused looking Mor, who, upon seeing Cassian standing there with a lovesick grin, rolled her eyes and followed after you.

*****

“I don’t get why you don’t just say yes,” Mor said as you heavily sipped from a glass of wine back at her apartment. “He’s one of the good ones, Y/N. Take away all of the cringy pick-up lines and I think he’s serious about wanting to take you out, he really does like you.”

“It’s not that easy…”

“No? What’s not easy about it?”

You starred at her, not wanting to say what was on your mind. She was just as stubborn though, if not even more so than you, so stared right back with a quirked eyebrow as she waited for your explanation.

Huffing in defeat, you flopped back onto the couch and let out a sigh.

“It’s not easy, Mor, because there’s no point. I leave in a few days so why start something up when it’s not going to last.”

“You don’t have to,” Mor sat herself beside you, wrapping an arm around you as you leant your head on her shoulder, “leave that is. You could stay.”

“Right,” You let out a sharp laugh, “Let me just pack up my whole life and move across Prythian for a guy I’ve known all of ten days.”

“Or,” Mor counted, sending her elbow into her ribs, “You could move across Prythian for your dearest friend who has missed you like crazy and knows that you’re miserable back home. The guy could just be a nice bonus on the side.”

You sat up, staring at your friend as you mulled over her words.

“Move here? Is that allowed? Where would I even live?”

“Yes, it is. I already spoke to Rhys about it, he would love for you to stay, said he’s already got some potential work lined up if you’re interested. And, obviously, you can stay with me until you find your own place.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

Huh. Now that was a thought.

“If I moved, that’s an if, not a yes, it would be for you, not because of…him”.

“I would hope so. Though I’m sure Cassian wouldn’t mind in the slightest.”

The knowing grin and wink she gave you had your cheeks reddening as you lifted a pillow to cover your blush. Mor just pulled you back against her side, knowing that your hesitancy to move was just a front and that you would be packed, moved and settled in Velaris within the week.

*****

It was, technically, your last night in Velaris before you went back home to pack up your belongings. After talking out the logistics with Mor and Rhys, you had excitedly agreed to move and become an official citizen and member of the Night Court.

You had spent the afternoon with Mor looking at potential apartments before making your way to Rita’s for a ‘goodbye’ drink with the rest of the inner circle.

After tossing and turning all of the previous night, you had come to the decision that moving to a new city, a new court, signified the beginning of a new chapter. So why not throw caution to the wind and see how things played out with a certain Illyrian male who was currently standing by himself at the bar while he waited to be served.

“Hey,” You somewhat yelled over the music and laughter of the fae around you.

Cassian did a double-take before dramatically clutching at his chest, “Y/N, it should be illegal to look that good, it’s not fair on the rest of the females here.”

You rolled your eyes, but your usual snarky remark didn’t follow.

“I know our time together is limited,” Cassian continued, the dramatic tone still lacing his voice, “But before you leave us behind, would you at least just grab my hand, just for a moment, so that I can tell everyone I’ve been touched by an angel?”

Shaking your head as he grinned down at you, you relented and grabbed his hand. He was quick to slip his fingers through yours with a satisfied smile.

“I’m not leaving,” You said, very much aware that your fingers were still laced together, “Well, I am. But Mor convinced me to move here, so I’ll be back in a week or so.”

Cassian’s eyebrows shot up, shock settling over his features. Clearly no one had told him of your plans.

“Oh?

“Yep.”

You were interrupted by the bartender as Cassian ordered you both a drink before turning back to you with a quizzical expression.

There was a beat of silence in which your hands were still interlocked, Cassian’s thumb absentmindedly caressing the back of your hand, and you watched one another for a moment, as if seeing each other in a different light.

“Your way of flirting is truly awful, by the way.” You teased with a small smile. With the way Cassian was looking at you, there was no chance of attempting to stop your blush.

“But is it working?

“Maybe…”

[spasmsofthought]

starlight (legolas x reader)

A bit (or a lot) philosophical. Indirect allusions to depression/melancholy. Please take care reading and take care of yourself.

IDK word count LOL but not super long, I think.

This idea has been in my drafts for a while, but inspiration came this evening. I hope it's executed well for you. I haven't felt so creative in such a long time and this piece was such a treat to write.

Enjoy and please let me know what you think! Please like, comment, and reblog xo

+++

“My friend, what ails you?” Legolas has not been sure of you, try as he might.

Even though it is just the beginning of the Fellowship’s journey, you walk already battle-weary. You are heavy, it seems, in comparison to your fellow human companions. Aragorn nor Boromir carry themselves this way. Even Frodo, despite the responsibility he carries, retains some of the Hobbit carefree way. It had caused Legolas to wonder, apprehensively in the beginning, if it was the Ring. The more he watched and waited, the more clear it became that it wasn’t. Relief then became mixed with confusion, for if it wasn’t the Ring, what could cause such weight for you to carry? The brief conversations he has shared with you so far have not provided him further insight.

You turn towards him from where you sit. Your face is not unhealthy in anyway, but your eyes are not bright. There is something deep in them for which Legolas does not have the words to explain. You are close enough to be seen from camp, but far enough away that no one has had the heart to disturb you. It is a quiet evening, but even as he approaches, there is something that mixes in with the stillness that is foreign to him.

“Hello, Legolas,” He stands for a moment, unsure. “Please, you are welcome to join.”

You pat the stone next to you as if it is an inviting cushion. It is not.

“Thank you for your inquiry. I am only sad, Legolas.” Your hands settle in your lap. Legolas grows even more confused. Often human weep to express their grief, in his understanding. He has not seen, or heard, you cry once.

You clarify after a moment, sighing and then glancing at him. “There is no cause for it, unfortunately. Otherwise I would ask aid of our Fellowship. It is simply a—” You pause for a moment, trying to find the right words. It takes your brain a short time to unscramble to find something suitable, “condition I endure.”

“The understanding of the complexity of human nature escapes me at this time.”

You laugh is small, “It confounds me often.”

There is a moment, halfway between awkward and friendly, in which you sit together. Trying to explain your feelings to an Elf has not been something anyone ever thought to prepare you for.

Legolas has been an intimidating individual to try and engage for yourself. It has been your own inexperience and reluctance that has caused some of your avoidance of him. Elves had been figures of myths and folklore in the small village where you had been raised. To confront your youth’s inadequate tales against a far different reality has already been mentally exhausting. You always thought Elves would be the kind of stern and serious beings that immortality seemed to produce. Instead, Legolas was often cheery, reveling in merriment.

“There is a type of sadness for humans,” You try to explain. Legolas pays attention, “that can come for us regardless of circumstance or atmosphere. It is different than missing one’s family or saying goodbye, and it is hard to explain and justify even amongst my own kin. What I am feeling now is not something that carries a name for my people; there are a lot who do not try to understand. Some types of human sadness come and go. This type of sadness can be long-lasting. I carry mine with me, it seems, no matter what I go. It stays, though I do not ask it to.”

There is a little bit of shame to your countenance it seems to Legolas, as you glance down at your hands. You are meek in the fading light of the evening.

Legolas is not sure he has seen someone who looks as human as you do, against the backdrop of the trees and earth.

“Your mind seems fragile,” He says.

His words come as a frank observation, although gentled in tone. It is a paradox for something so piercing to be soft. Legolas takes great care to not offend you, even now. You would be offended if another of your race said the same, but there’s something about the way the words come from his mouth that do not make them a personal affront. These words do not seem to change whatever opinion he has of you. (An opinion that seems more positive than one you would give of yourself to him.)

“I suppose you could say that,” Your eyes drift up again to look at the dark sky, small glinting stars beginning to appear through the cracks of the trees. “Most human minds are fragile in some way, I think. We are not made to endure the long passing of time the same as you and your race. We are more effected… more vulnerable, I think. Or rather, vulnerable in different ways.”

Your words are met with Legolas’s silence. The light-hearted elf has turned contemplative. “The burden of human life is not what I have thought it was.”

“I don’t think I quite fully understand it either, thought I bear it,” You respond, lips quirking to the side for a moment. As they meet yours for a short time, Legolas’s eyes shine in the dark. “Although I fear comparison will still leave us lacking. I know little of what it is to be an elf, but I know you and your kind carry grief of your own. It is hard for me to conceive of what it must like to see so much, for so long, and still remain so physically unchanged.”

Legolas hums but then chooses to say nothing about the subject.

“I love the stars,” You say after a brief pause. Legolas does not object, so you continue to talk. “Even in the darkness, when I have had no one else with me, they have comforted me. Sometimes, like tonight, when my heart pulls me inward, they seem to whisper to me and cause my gaze upward.”

There is a companionable silence that follows. You sit next to Legolas, he next to you, as you stare up at the stars glittering across the black expanse of the night.

There is scant touch that comes across your cheek, like a breeze against your skin. A brief warmth follows, fading as quickly as it comes. As you turn your face, Legolas’s hand comes to rest against his side. Your eyes meet and he nods towards the forest path that leads to the camp where the others rest. His gaze is soft on your face.

You don’t think anyone has looked at you as he is now.

“Sleep, ithildin nîn.” You do not know what the words mean but they feel as a balm does, only for your heart and not for your body. “I will keep watch.”

For a little while, you hold his eyes. Legolas does not shy away even though he does not know what the immediate future holds; though he does not know what will become of you, or of him. You nod at his words, gathering your things and standing. You feel his gaze, even through the path you take to camp, on you until you fall asleep.

~~~~

Translation: Ithildin nîn — my starlight.

[colourstreakgryffin]

Heyyy! May I request headcanons for Carmila CarminexReader who has similar mannerisms to Obanai? (Both live rent free in my head) Have a good day/night!!!

Haha. Awww, that’s cute and I can absolutely see it! I am not sure how it’d go personally but let’s try it out for fun. Shall we! God, I struggled with this so much so I’m sorry if it blows

Carmilla Carmine- Bandy-Bandy

You’re a unique one, that’s for sure. Thats what Carmilla tells herself when her beloved daughters, Clara and Odette, brought you as a brand new potential employee for them. A lonely quiet determined sinner with a connection to all kinds of snakes

Carmilla watches you, at first, to test how good you are at the job her precious daughters gave you and she is pleased with the results. You’re quite good but you’re also kinda isolated and don’t talk to anybody besides your hyper-intelligent ‘scarf-snake’ friend

But then Carmilla’s watching becomes one of interest… you’re interesting, your behaviour is a lot less than what she suspected from a Sinner worker and how antisocial and distance you are is intriguing for anybody, even her

Carmilla does end up approaching you and she gives you a luck h… despite the fact you already have one and whilst you’re kinda blunt and quiet and uninterested, you’re polite and respectful since you know her position and let her accompany you

So, this became routine. Everyday, Carmilla comes over to you during lunch and presents you with a fancy lunch she has made for you and enjoys a lunch break with you. She is more of the talker whilst you listen to her quietly, surprisingly

Carmilla took a while but she’s been relatively open, talking about her beloved daughters, about other Overlords annoying her during meetings, about a number of things about herself. It’s shocking for a strong mature woman like her to even speak on these things with her new employee

It took quite some time but throughout all the sessions Carmilla has befriended and talking to you and having a meal with you privately, you ended up developing quite the fat crush on her to the point you get jealous and agitative towards others being close to her… except Zestial, to a degree

Carmilla doesn’t really notice how protective and aggressive you’ve become to others. She just believes you and her are good friends but you don’t feel that way at all; you love her dearly, so much that she is now basically your everything… even after you feared women heavily due to your awfully tragic past including your primarily female cult of a family

You don’t really eat unless Carmilla is nearby and since Carmilla is a kind graceful yet powerful woman, even as a mighty Overlord, she’ll eat with you since she notices how dependent you are… on her? She suspects it’s something to do with comfort so doesn’t question it too much

Carmilla is your starlight, the sugary yet tough mochi that has truly changed your life from a bland hell of self-deprecation and loathing to something much worth it. Now, you can actually express emotions better and you want to give yourself fully to Carmilla as to express how much you adore her

Carmilla is seemingly oblivious to your intense love for her as she has grown to view you, as she acts, like a surrogate child of hers. She doesn’t notice your affections and favouritism and much more, she just believes you’re a enthusiastic employee of the business that wishes to please it

Carmilla does, in general, appreciate and like you. It’s why she still approaches and tries to bond with you to this day. You’re a mysterious, quiet but fearless and strong and willing to rip people a new one. She respects that and it’s a reason she likes you

“Hello once more, dear friend. It’s been quite the rough day. My girls have had the hardest hours for quite a few years recently. Would you like to hear it?”

[arcielee]

She Walks in Starlight

Summary: A goddess comes to ask for help to save her friends. Paring: Aemond!Hades x OFC!Persephone Word Count: 4358 Warnings: Mention of character(s) death. It’s HotD and Greek mythology, so there will be incest.   Author's Note: So, the whole Aemond as Hades trope has been done before BUT NOT BY ME so lets go. My inspiration came from this Aemond drawing: artist. It’s so nifty. Also, huge shout out to @aspen-carter for her ceaseless patience and helping me edit this. I am so grateful to have her as a friend because her writing is just top tier and her insight is so wonderful. ♥ Also! Gō vys is Valyrian for Under world. Enjoy! Tags (Tumblr kindred spirits): @sirenofavalon​ @annikin-im-panicin​ @aaaaaamond (slash means I am unable to tag you)  Series:  Act I -  Act II - Act III

ACT I

“Little goddess, you are far away from where you belong.”

This was the truth spoken, for she never before dared venture away from her mother’s watchful gaze, never pressing beyond the boundary she swore she implemented for safety. Today it was fate that propelled her soft steps to follow the trodden pathway that wove from her realm into his. 

His tone was low and voiced with authority, but she did not feel threatened despite the grim scenery she now found herself in. The Underworld seemed just a shadowed, desolate reflection of the mortal realm above; it was not shroud in darkness, mostly void of pigmentation save the veily blue hue that enveloped all around. She watched the souls make their way towards the ferryman, unaware their fluid steps were not solid against the grey sand that spread the shore of the river Styx. 

“Aïdōneús,” she used the ancient moniker, for who else would be present other than the lordship to the realm of death? She spoke his name as she heard from the hushed whispers of the mortals, who were afraid to misstate and bring unwanted attention from the king of the dead. For her, it was an ancient tongue known to the gods and it spilled like a sweet nectar from her wet lips. She pressed on the ball of her foot to turn and face him. 

Throughout the ages, many adjectives have been used to describe him and beautiful was the first to her mind. 

The contours of his face were sharp as the marble stones that the mortals would carve the gods’ likeness into and it gave a severity to his expression. She saw the left side of his face, marred from his heroism from the tales of the Titanomachy, with a gash that began above his brow and cut through, curling into his cheek. His bravery had been rewarded with his kingship of the Gō vys and a brilliant sapphire stone that was set into his scarred socket. 

Cold and stern, was often used, a firm accountability held for the laws held. Monstrous. Menacing. She assumed these descriptors were spoken by cowards, for all she could see was an esthetical deity.

He towered over her, his arms were tucked behind his back and it emphasized his broad shoulders. Silver scars littered over, brilliant streaks in contrast to the plum chiton draped over his lithe figure with golden thread knotted around his slender waist. The dark tones he wore gave a luminous intensity to his alabaster skin, like a godly beacon in the realm of grey. 

He kept his distance, but she saw his head tilt from the gleam of the red ruby set in his crown and the soft glimmer of his silver tresses that spilled forward with his subtle movement. 

“I have come to ask you something,” she continued, her voice unsteady, but her eyes boldly returned his steady gaze.

There was a haunting beauty to the mismatched coloring of his stare, his lavender eye and the glint of his sapphire eye, that caused her heart to reverberate within her chest.

“You traveled all this way to ask me a question?” His baritone continued and there was a flicker of amusement, the slight curl to his lips with his mellifluous words. “Please ask so I may best assist the goddess of spring.”

She felt the flush of pleasure. He knows who you are, the thought flutters throughout her head and she cannot stop her smile. “I wanted to ask if it was at all possible for a soul to be returned to the mortal realm?” 

A low hum rumbled in the back of his throat and he took a deliberate step to close the space between them; the flicker of amusement is gone, his expression now as cool as the marble it was carved from. “This cannot be done, little goddess,” his silver words carefully chosen for his silver tongue. “It is the fate of every mortal to die and once that threshold is crossed, they cannot return to that life.” 

Her renewed grief comes with its sickening hold, clenching her heart and the threat of tears pricked her eyes. She swallowed thickly, only then breaking her bold stare and instead she looked over the spirits that continued forward, awaiting their turn to cross. 

It should have been me.

“Who did you lose?”

His soft tone pulled her attention back and she can see his brow is furrowed. “My friends,” she refused to cry in front of the king, no matter the kindly concern etched onto his features in the moment. “They were taken suddenly and do not have the gold to pay the passage.” 

He hummed a second time, still low but thoughtful. “They are not yet lost, little goddess,” and the familiar curl of his bow lips gives her the flutter of hope. “Come back tomorrow and we can see what may be done, but,” his gaze rolled over her, locking onto her face once again. “I would advise not to return empty handed when you come to beg a favor from the king of the Underworld.” 

+ + + + + + +

He dared teased the goddess of spring and then he relished in her response to the reminder of such a timeless courtesy. The rose coloring flushed her ivory tones, her embarrassment clashed with the thrum of her vitality beneath and it brought out the sun speckles across her nose and cheeks. 

How divine the thought of his lips to kiss each one. 

She left chagrined and he was certain he would not see her again, save the movements when he would slip to the surface for a reprieve from the dead, a shadow in watch of the gods who resided in the mortal realm. He had not expected her to return the following day and with a basket she showed was filled with delicacies of cheeses, olives, figs, and more.

He saw her coming, her steps almost familiar with the pathway that led to his realm. “You returned, little goddess,”  it was a statement more so than a question. 

“I have, Aïdōneús.” 

Aïdōneús. A name long forgotten, spurned from the fear it held amongst mortals, but she was dauntless with her pronunciation, just as she was bold with her stare. It was the sweetest sound, both familiar and unfamiliar, a sound that he would spend his immortality to follow its every behest.  

Even though her tone was cool, he noted her white knuckled hold on the wicker basket. “I have returned and I have brought you an offering,” she continued, shifting her weight to rest it on her hip. “You also may call me by name or you may call me Kore, if you desire.”

Desire. There is an unbridled fervor in his gaze as it rolled over her curves, so sinfully wrapped in the peplos linen but his posture remained reserved, his arms crossed behind and one foot stanced.  

“As you wish, Kore.” 

He did not say another word and his hand reached for hers; he was pleased that she took it without hesitation and his skin prickled from the warmth of her palm. He whisked her forward and he felt her grip tighten, looking back to see her eyes wide from the abrupt movement. He pulled her closer to his chest, his other arm wrapping around her waist with a firm hold. 

He brought her to a pomegranate tree that is curled on a ledge overlooking the knolls of silver grass, decorated with aimless spirits. 

There was almost an ache when he released his hold and he kept his arms open, watching to make sure her steps are balanced on the solid earth. “I apologize,” his voice was almost sheepish with his realization. “I am so used to getting around and I forget…” 

He is grateful that she does not press him to finish his thought. Instead, he fell back and watched as she spread the cloth, the white billow of fabric that settled on the ground, and placed the basket in the center. She offered to pour him a glass of wine and only then does he take a seat, breaking the bread, while he shared that their view is the asphodel meadows where good souls reside, a neutral ground for peaceful spirits. 

He wanted to bring her here and show her. “This is where your friends will eventually be,” he finished, lifting his goblet to his lips. 

Her eyes watched the bob of his neck as he drank the wine and she admitted, “This seems so dreadfully dull for the good souls.” 

“They no longer have the tedious shackles forced on them from the mortal realm,” his lips curled upwards with his further explanation. “They feel nothing and this allows them contentment to wander these fields.” 

Her nose scrunched. “I understand this,” she breaks a piece of the bread, allowing the wine to dye it red. “That, however, does not change my initial opinion.” 

This is a moment that broke through the kingly demeanor that he carried with his every step, his every movement within the cosmos. She watched, wide eyed and rosy, as his laughter lines his cheeks with dimples, the king of the Gō vys has dimples! She savored the genuineness of this moment and she cannot help but giggle as well. “It is beautiful, though,” she continued with a shy smile. “I see why you chose this spot.” 

His demeanor darkened and he smirked. “Kore, this pales in comparison to your springly creations. I only brought you to show you the bit of vegetation that can survive within my realm.” 

She tilted her head upwards, looking at the deep burgundy of the ripe pomegranates that hung low on the branches. “Are they edible?” 

He leaned onto his side, propped up onto one elbow and his fingers traced the decoration of the gilded goblet. “It is, but without the same savory flavors as,” and he gestured towards the basket that slowly empties with their picnic. “There is a cost of their consumption,” he cannot help the edge of bitterness to his voice. 

Her eyes widen, not with fright but curiosity, to the animosity of his words. “What is the cost?”

“Anything eaten or drank chains you to the realm,” he answered, solemn, and was surprised by the glint in her eyes. 

It draws his gaze to her and, again, he can see the thrum of her ichor beneath her ivory skin, her eyes focused on him and framed with dark lashes, her stare as dauntless as earlier. 

“It is the cost to rule a kingdom,” she offered, blinking and it is seemingly gone, her expression now doleful as it looks over the silver hills that spread infinitely before them. “It is better than to be destined to be the forgotten goddess, tied to her mother’s shadow and just a decoration who nurtures flowers.”  

He was watchful in this somber moment; there was a silence that was not uncomfortable, but he felt the returned fervor from before to ask more, to understand more. There was a tingle in his fingertips to reach for her hand, to knit his fingers so perfectly with her own, just so she may remember she was not alone. 

Instead, he waited.

She pulled herself to stand and reached her hand towards him, the radiance of her smile returning, a divine glow amongst the eerie meadow. “Come and show me more of your kingdom.”

And he obliged her. 

+ + + + + + +

Time, she learned, was different in the Underworld. 

She allowed herself to tour the Gō vys, tucked so close to his side and allowing him to show his kingdom, from the Asphodel to the Erebus, to watch the passage of Acheron and learn the ferryman was men, twins who let a foolish misunderstanding result in the simultaneous slay and he offered them an alternative to serve him. She met Vhagar, the rumored three headed beast who in truth wished for belly rubs and she happily inclined. 

There was a panicked realization when she resurfaced and saw the moon bore overhead. Her steps were quick homewards, muttering prayers to Gaia, to Rhaenys, to whomever was listening and she begged her mother would be unaware of the time lost. 

“You smell of death.”

Rhaenyra was the golden goddess of harvest and fertility, her mother the very embodiment of the sacred laws of the cosmos. Her eyes narrowed on her arrival, but she managed only a hint of anger to touch her overwhelming interrogative tone. “Where have you been, Kore?”

She hummed a lie, something enough to dissuade further suspicion her mother may hold, just a silly little goddess who had gotten lost within the cosmos. She continued to add another promise she would never dare return. 

This was another lie. 

“Aïdōneús,” she greeted him the next day and was pleased with his expression, which was almost incredulous at her return. 

“Kore,” he responded with the same warmth, the curl of his lip when he reached for her hand. She allowed him to take it without thought, a blush crept over as he brought her knuckles to his lips, the tickle of his breath to her skin. “Please, I meant to say this yesterday,” he did not release his hold, his dichromatic gaze watchful. “You may call me just Aemond, if you wish.” 

“Aemond,” and she said his name with the same sweetness and reverence, enjoying her familiarity with the king and how the rose color dusts his cheeks when she repeats it. “I admit, I have come to ask another favor.” 

“More souls you wish to return to the mortal realm?” 

He regretted his words the moment they left his lips, when he saw the pain that danced across her eyes. His apology was caught in his throat, the explanation for his tasteless jest, but she already shook her head and that pain was gone. 

“I wish to show you a place that is dear to me,” but her tone is careful. “Are you able to come with me to the mortal realm?” 

I would go anywhere you asked of me, he does not say and instead he nodded, the shimmer of his silver hair. “I can leave, though not for long periods of time,” he shifted his gaze. “It is a tether to the Underworld. There is a pull, almost an ache, that grows the longer I am away.”  

A smile returned to her lips, pink and inviting. “I will not keep you too long from the duties of your kingdom,” she promised and offered her hand to him. 

Traveling within the Gō vys requires a celerity to his movements; there is a rush of wind with his quick motion from one place to the next, whereas she seems to frolick, pulling to keep him at her pace as they flit from the shadows and move towards a small isle. At first glance, it only holds the wreckage of the temple to appease the averter of evil, its ruin ironically from a temper tantrum of the gods. 

“But why here?” Aemond was curious as he looked over the cracked stylobate and the broken pillars split, with stone embedded into the soft earth around them. 

“There is beauty in the broken,” she smiled and pulled him to follow. “After Daemon and his temper tantrum, the mortals abandoned it, but I wished for it to blossom with new life.” 

He watched her climb over a fallen pillar and she peered up to him, beckoning him to follow. He dropped softly at her side, while the soft echo of her words, there is beauty in the broken, remained in his ear. Aemond saw her focus was ahead and he followed her gaze. 

His eye followed the curl of a turquoise moss that curled and decorated the stones, blooming with pastels. It continued to the reflection of the morning dew glittering off the almost iridescent petals, gleaming brilliant in the rising run; it showed the sea scheme of colors that stretched around them.

She was the goddess of spring, of vitality personified, and he is the darkness. But in this serene moment, there was an emotion, an almost tangible passion that entangled with the ichor of his veins when she reached for his hand again.

There was a spark as their palms fit together, as his slender fingers curled around her hand. “It is beautiful,” he said and his tongue wet his lips. 

She peered at him, the flutter of her own heart when she saw how his features softened in the intimacy of the moment, a satisfaction to be privy to the reserved pleasure that played on his face. There was the intrusive thought that begged her to touch his jaw, to press up to her tiptoes and dare to taste his mouth, and she wished to bring back a piece to his kingdom, just so she could relive the hint of his smile on his lips. 

“It is,” she agreed, tucking the thought away. 

+ + + + + + +

That night, she tucked herself into the athenaeum to pour over the scrolls her mother stored away, with Rhaenyra both pleased and proud of her rekindled passion for her role within the cosmos. 

Kore did not correct her. She needed her focus to return to what initially brought her to the Underworld, the fate she shelved and the growing burden with that neglect. She told herself that Aemond would be more amenable with an offering more tailored for the god of death, but in truth, she also wished to understand the growing thrum beneath her breastbone whenever she was within his proximity. 

There was a simple spell that would serve both. 

Though he would never admit to waiting for her, she was still pleased to see him on the edge of the plane, close enough for the sunlight to touch and give an ethereal glow to his chiseled features. There was a gentle breeze through his silver, silk tresses and she stopped her steps so she could admire him, the glimmer. 

He tilted his head. “Kore, what is it?”  

“Aemond,” she breathed. “You really are beautiful.” 

His jaw steeled with the compliment and she was quick to grab his hand, leading him below like a silver beacon into the blue hue of the Gō vys. Once they were in the shadowed realm, she turned to press against his chest, her softness melting against him and with her whisper, “Aemond, take me back to the meadows.” 

He, of course, obliged her. 

There was a comfort with how his arms, so strong and lined with silver scars, wrapped around her waist with a hold she knew could be trusted. The jarring movement still caused her stomach to lurch, but it was quickly replaced with the exhilarating rush and her laughter spilled from her lips. Only when she felt the tickle of the silver grass beneath her soles did he finally release his hold of her and they were back beneath the pomegranate tree. 

She curled with grace onto its roots and beckoned him to follow. He paused for a moment to appreciate how her robes nestled against her curves before he sits, close enough, with one leg up to rest his forearm on and the other arm pressing himself upright, his palm resting on the earth. His expression begs curiosity, but he is quiet. 

Kore and her sweet smile elicited his hummed response and he watched as she began to rub her palms together. A soft glow emitted between and her focus returned to Aemond, a golden goddess with the light, before she pressed her hands to the ground. Her eyes closed for a moment, her thoughts poured into the practice incantation with the wordless flutter of her lips. 

She opened her eyes and smiled again, his gaze shyly dropped to watch her hands lift and reveal the bolt of green that begins to stem upwards. He watched as its leaves unfurled and the red bulbs bunched together began to blossom.

His expression is one of awe, his jaw slack from seeing the life sprout from the grey earth and flourish with color before him. Aemond looked pained when she reached to pluck one, cupping it in her palms with a whisper, the same golden glow, before she presented him the enchanted flower, the petals unbruised and a vibrant red. 

“This will match the ruby in your crown,” she explained, shifting her weight to look at him. 

His expression was stoic, just a red reflection in his sapphire eye. “What are they called?” He asked when she opened his palm, his fingers spread as if his touch would shatter it. 

“These are called snapdragons,” she shared, her pride aglow with her creation, her validation. “They are able to handle the cooler weather, but their lifespans are not very long, which is why,” and her fingertips tickled his palm as she picked it up, careful to pin it to his chiton, “I made this one for you. This one will never wilt.” 

His gaze fell to it, his slender fingers pressed into the fabric around where she snugly fastened it, still cautious to touch. “Is this magic?”

He did not see the touch of pink to her cheeks, how she hemmed for her words to reply to him. 

She sought out this spell in the archives of her mother’s anethum, that would allow a flower to eternally hold its blossomed vibrance with a condition in place, an emotion from the spellcaster, something that hinted its existence from the day they spent together at the temple.

An emotion she felt irresolute to share now. 

She had thought it to be carnal at first. Desire, the unbridled passion that hummed within her when she first laid eyes on the god of death and his aery beauty. It was a fervor that burned within her as she drank his deliberate movements, the glimmer of his silver hair, the perpetual smirk that played on his pink, bow lips. 

This will fade, she told herself. She returned, undeterred and with purpose to save her companions, the fate that brought her to the Gō vys to begin. With her offering rested on her hip, she allowed herself to be swept away in his arms, flitting further into his kingdom. It was his touch that sparked something more, the sweet candor of their conversation, how she swore his steady gaze able to see her bones beneath. 

She felt confirmation at the temple ruins, from the moment she watched the colors of her masterpiece absorb into the exquisiteness he carried with him. She saw something, she felt something. 

There is beauty in the broken.

He was a timeless deity that had seen the fall of Titans and she was only the little goddess of spring. 

In part, she was proud of her power that grew, the vibrant glow of the snapdragon, but she also knew it stemmed from an emotion from her that he would never reciprocate. 

So all she said was, “Yes. Magic.” 

Her cheeks grew warmer still with his steady gaze, her silent prayers that he would not press for the truth of it because she knows she would never be able to lie to him. Aemond seemed to accept the words and then said, “I accept your offering, Kore. Tell me your favor and I swear I will do the best that I am able.” 

So she spoke of the fate that brought her to the Underworld. “I wish to pay the passage for two souls.” 

Her question did not anger him, but there is a sadness that crept to his features. “Kore, I would not be able to allow this,” he sighed, unable to look her in the eyes. “If I am to make an exception for you, I would have to offer the same courtesy to the rest and…” there is a pregnant pause, a moment that allowed her to choke on the emotion that threatened to break through and she saw the glimmer of silver when he tilted his head to watch her. 

“Persephone,” he said with his low baritone. “Why do you ask for this? What brought you to my realm?” 

She wore her shame like the chiton draped over her curves. Her tongue wet her lips as her mind tried for the words to express the suffocating guilt that built with her every visit. Begin at the beginning. On that day, there had been an enchanted flower that she and her companions, Baela and Rhaena, came upon. 

“A flower,” Aemond hummed, his expression unreadable. 

His comment left her feeling childish, ashamed to admit what followed. The flower seemed otherworldly, its petals glittered in the sunlight and beckoned to her, but she balked and stayed within the parameters Rhaenyra had placed. Baela and Rhaena teased at her sudden shyness, pushing beyond and dared to pluck it. 

In return, the earth rumbled to split open and swallowed them both. 

“I know that it was planted for me,” she finished, her fingers fidget with the rope tied around her waist. “What other purpose would an enchanted flower serve than to lure the goddess of spring?” Her cheeks were tearstained. “It should have been me.”

Aemond hummed again, the severity returned to his gaze and he looked away. She allowed herself a breath, the slow intake and exhale through parted lips, to relax her posture and rest her hands into her lap. He reached for her hand and she allowed him to take it.

It was with his touch that she could admit she loved him. There was a tenderness to his large hands, how his slender fingers were gentle to hold her own and the soothing gesture of his thumb making circular patterns on her palm.

“Kore,” he began and she looked up at him. “I will look further into this. I meant what I said that I am unable to return souls to the mortal realm, it is beyond my power, but I will find…” he hummed again. “Will you please come back tomorrow night?”

I will always find my way to you, but instead she only smiled, nodding her head. 

[celestialdragoncookie]

please make yandere dark shadow x

y/n

Yandere dark shadow milk cookie x Female reader:

In the lone room of the kingdom, as darkness filled the empty space where only source of light was the torches on the wall as it illuminates the entire room. Amidst of it, shrill of screams could more the sound of it could be high pitched of a young female cookie, in the alone cold dark room on the desk with a chair sat a very tall intimidated cookie with a black and blue jester outfit with a happy mask cover half of his left side.

With one hand playing the cross using for puppet shows while the other on his face. His expression seems to be that of a boredom, but the phantom eyes on his hair is morphs into that of hearts. This dark shadow milk cookie, eldest son of dark dragon cacao cookie and blizzard queen cookie and the cookie he is playing with like a puppet is Y/N cookie whom he met few months ago. The female cookie was nothing but humble and kind to him, you treated him exactly he is encouraging him for accepting for whom he is. This revaluation really shocked him but he kept is guard up believing that you are here to let his guard down and after the throne but you replied didn't want any materialistic things all you want to get to know him better yea a friend would do.

From that on, you two became fast friends going on picnics, studying in the library, playing on the beach etc. the more time you spend with him the more possessive he becomes, that side was chained a long time ago because of your appearance the seal that slumbered the beast is now broken waking it up, it will do anything to get the prey in its jaws. The day was the disaster when you said to your friend that your dating, last thing you know darkness swallowed your subconscious. After waking, your size shrunken to that of a doll more of puppet, couldn't more your limbs due to some invincible force, your face pales to see the preceptor which turned out to be your best friend Dark shadow milk cookie who was bored playing with cross. The movement of the cross moved your whole body like in a puppet show, in dark shadows point of view you are his everything, his light in the shadow a being fulfill his void in his heart, grasping his loneliness your a drug to his which made him addicted to it. Hearing of your dating made something snapped inside of him, dramatic measurements needed in dangerous situation, knocked you out and he will do anything in his power to you his and his alone. A possessive and psycho ghost smile appears on his face and he giggles evilly.

" oh! Don't worry my love nobody will anything to harm or take you away from me. Those who stand in the way of our love will crumble beneath my magic and might".

( this situation happens when dark shadow milk cookie didn't met Starlight Star cookie yet).

[spondeesoliloquy]

Index of first lines, 2022

Each header links to that month's poems, in chronological order. Thanks & much love & tenure to the court alchemist who applied the magic of regular expressions to auto-pull these so I didn't have to copy+paste compile them myself.

January 1. cold snaps for your attention, heat waves 2. my father’s mother died seven years before my birth 3. there is something effervescent about rage. 4. i am tired of writing poems about pain 5. is there more of a point in a poem 6. i would like to be hungry again 7. keep your heart beating steady. 8. i am not human enough for other humans 9. the dangers of self contemplation. the soul 10. i like the rush of moving forward. always 11. the cold has come to eat my nose 12. i don’t want to let go 13. how quickly i lose track of what i’ve done 14. sometimes my brain declines to think 15. I’d like my heart out, if you have a minute. 16. there is no point of grief. there is no lesson 17. my head is filled with clouds as 18. try not to cringe from challenge. tell 19. i was warm now i am cold this is 20. i am taking umbrage with the time 21. it is hard to let relief sink in 22. the poet who is writing as a form of self reflection 23. the children do not know that the adults watch them 24. the snow might not wait 25. there is a certain something lonely 26. i want to catch the starlight of my anger in a bottle 27. this day spun by in fractals. i did 28. how softly fragments from my past 29. the snow came down until the fall 30. i wonder when i’ll shake the habit 31. i always forget how the snow shrinks the world

February 1. a funny kind of satisfaction. all i want to do’s 2. i have built my life of to-do lists 3. is this growing up? to realize 4. i am caught between the time i lost, 5. slipped a stitch left time forgotten 6. i meant to make a handprint 7. i missed the mountains missed the sky 8. i wonder if the bison have myths 9. i like this strange enchantment 10. for the tiny nameless spring 11. would goodness matter without disappointment 12. i’d sorrow if i stopped to think. 13. The rivers crack the earth like chilling frost 14. Death Valley’s dried up dandelions 15. set up the stars aligned 16. body keeps the score 17. am i young? i feel it 18. i fear that i have uncoccooned too soon— 19. certain songs make me cry— 20. it’s the things you never think you’ll lose 21. set the burning world into the sky 22. there are no sorrows cast in stone. i think 23. i’m looking towards the future with a slightly jaded eye. how quickly 24. the kindness of strangers should not go less remarked 25. the snow falls down like music 26. i wish my memory was better 27. i know so many songs by dead people 28. i can’t keep my mind in place.

March 1. i want more poems about kindness. 2. i’m deeply dark afraid to let anything i love 3. there’s a senseless sort of love within 4. i want a story like the ones 5. i run the same races over again 6. you do until it’s done. you ache 7. i know i brought this on myself 8. the world is shrinking in my heart 9. sometimes you must accept there are mistakes you won’t recoup 10. i don’t want to see my friends in pain 11. time is unfair in its passing. i don’t want 12. the cold is now attempting to ingratiate itself. 13. blur the burning world away for just a little longer. please. 14. will i one day call this nostalgia? 15. fever rhymes with crazy in our symptomatic symbolism 16. today has left me empty 17. i’m remembering joy 18. [no poem] 19. i have accomplished just enough today 20. the wind is back. it beats against 21. i don’t want to keep writing poems about 22. progressing like i still believe that every day is precious— 23. maybe the waking from the dream 24. if the song that’s been rattling down 25. we’re leaving winter behind. i’ve come 26. i don’t feel anymore like my memories will eat me— 27. i wonder what would happen if i took 28. anger twists me up so easily 29. ambition has come back 30. i would like the grace of hindsight 31. cutting time up with a kitchen knife

April 1. the birds sang today and i sang 2. i slip more easily into the night 3. i don’t want the landing to hurt. i think 4. i should write more poetry in daylight. 5. the feeling nags, neurotic— 6. i want again. it’s awful 7. you’d think i would know better. it’s not 8. curses have long memories 9. It’s April again. I can’t stand it. 10. i’m starting to run mad 11. never anticipate anything. you’d think 12. my life already feels lived 13. persist, persist 14. the train that used to bring me home 15. i forgot that spring could feel 16. i love the rain. i know 17. i miss my dad. is this a poem? 18. to have a body can be wonderful— 19. at some point there’s no point in being bitter. 20. i don’t mean to make things harder for myself 21. there are more dreams than those that twist 22. such small things make me weep 23. i don’t need everything now 24. pain and panic hand in hand. the one 25. when the morning comes there will be 26. i thought that it would hurt 27. if i close my eyes and hide my face i will not notice it is dark 29. i want it to rain again. i want 30. it overwhelms me really

May 1. i’m trying to dwell on flowers 2. the world upended quickly 3. it’s loud in here the white noise 4. i may know what i should do 5. a bright seductive quality of pain— 6. this time of night is poisonous 7. i hate to be cold, hate the frozen thoughts 8. the words will not come out as anything 9. i want to love someone enough 10. my grief knows me better than i know myself. 11. on the use of alcohol as a pain killer: 12. aching underneath 13. the weather’s warm enough for ants now. 14. today was not enough. please let me have 15. [no poem] 16. it’s not that i will take just any name from those that love me— 17. the words are chasing themselves tonight 18. i didn’t try enough today. the world 19. It’s hard to push past the feelings 20. i made something good today— 21. what’s the secret? is it simple as 22. can i use today as tinder? burn 23. for one day i am alive 24. today is sharp with irritation— 25. the fire hurts. it’s payment 26. on the other side of an ocean 27. i went out. i acted. i came home 28. every time i find the world is different 29. i’ve heard it said that hiccups are the memory of gills 30. the misspoken name does not unmake the self 31. i think i might have been more of a person in the past

June 1. it is hard for me to wake up early. 2. Don’t waste time asking 3. sometimes all that can be done 4. i’m caught up in outthinking 5. done and dark and dreaming. we all 6. perhaps i was due a breaking point. enough 7. today was, maybe, better. 8. maybe the family curse, the need for 9. the storm passed by so quickly 10. i am tired. yet despite that 11. the world will open slowly, if it opens up at all. 12. maybe something will happen tomorrow 13. i don’t want to let the past burn down. 14. breathe. the world is coming 15. i’ve nothing left to show 16. i am trying so hard to be good 17. the world descends. i sit in pain 18. it’s tempting to think that the water remembers— 19. memory a funny thing, fragile 20. can i be grateful enough for joy 21. i reflect on light today— 22. I think my favorite poem 23. today slipped through my fingers 24. the smell of sun and dust compels me 25. the sun is warm. the grass beneath 26. time, i promise, you can stop here. 27. this summer smells like summer should 28. Idaho peaks rise up like teeth– 29. this is like the past 30. gone and back again

July 1. did a little all day. stayed alive 2. Sunset one side. A thunderstorm 3. a recipe that holds in it 4. the road does not run long enough 5. i  want so many things, but they all seem unimportant 6. What is enough to remember? 7. today i lived deliciously— 8. the endless constant lament— 9. truth is the chair I've stubbed my toe on 10. success achieved by stealing from the future— 11. i’m coming to think that work 12. this isn’t enough. i’m racing 13. the world may laugh at me for planning 14. the potential i kept in a thimble 15. my life makes sense in aftermath— 16. the pain comes like a tide 17. [no poem] 18. knowing it will be hard doesn’t make it any better 19. god. it’s july. i’m everything 20. the metal of the playground swings 21. stitching sandals. something 22. i want things to get better— 23. i don’t know yet if this will scar 24. i’m tired to stupidity. unready 25. [no poem] 26. intermission, circus show— 27. the night’s breath is held, wetly 28. there’s a certain kind of blindness when you’re not too far away 29. don’t tell me my death was a tragedy, 30. [no poem] 31. thank you fingers for remembering

August 1. we’re moving forward slowly 2. i am ready to write poems about tiredness again 3. i don’t know if i made the right choices tonight 4. be welcome the night and the starlight 5. i am warm and i am tired 6. [no poem] 7. the forest breathes. i’m happy 8. Trying to touch the proof that I am growing, 9. I’ve folded so many memories here 10. the tiny snake does me the courtesy 11. The lake is green and glassy. 12. I have found it, finally— 13. i’ll pay this price for happiness— 14. continue. continue. continue. 15. i want to hope this is 16. perhaps i can accomplish this. 17. there is no more important thing in life 18. i’ve tried too hard i think to make myself 19. the universe assures me 20. the sunrise swallows the night 21. the only way out is across, in life, 22. maybe this is working out. a dangerous 23. maybe tomorrow. this is a promise. 24. i lost i failed i fucked up— 25. what’s happening today. why’ve i lost 26. a storm at height. up here i feel 27. summer’s fruits are dripping tart. somewhere there is a fair 28. this is it, the poetry 29. i’m tired now from all of it, 30. i’ve made myself a place here. i belong. how strange. 31. i’m learning things in tiny swallows

September 1. i don’t know if this time last year i was better— 2. enough. enough. no more of this 3. you have to live the life that kills you— 4. the ground is shining. we’re walking 5. here i was. there i am. did you come with me 6. maybe the place that makes you happiest to live 7. one day. one day. one day is all 8. i’m too tired to record today 9. can i take the small things? 10. it’s a funny time, a burning time, 11. i’m frazzled still. the world 12. why should i define myself 13. i wanted something to beat itself 14. to be careless is no longer fun 15. what a magnificent world. there are flowers 16. i’m warm now in this colding world. a simple 17. i hope i hear correctly 18. strange to have completed this 19. regardless of your opinion 20. i’m so hungry for these moments with you. 21. today already blurring— 22. the rain is back. a blessing. 23. the wind is wild tonight 24. the sounds are still rebounding 25. funny to fall in love with this machine 26. this afternoon is not quite gold 27. i like watching the pigeons 28. it’s all too much for me again. I’m falling back in time 29. love is often inconvenient. no one tells you this, 30. i hate the cold. i’m trying not to—

October 1. love is tomatoes and a question. love is bread. love is 2. do i want to say the true things or the pretty things? 3. you know my silent meanings, 4. grandmother, who is dead, 5. why does being human 6. the wind is moaning like it should 7. the time is right again 8. i’m trying not to hold 9. the sky opened like a clam 10. autumn came so swiftly. i tracked through 11. oh i’m surging up, alive again 12. my darkness, my shape, my shadow— 13. the leaves are dancing like they’re glad 14. the end of day, the air is red 15. and the rest comes in without pause 16. the autumn sunshine takes us back 17. i love this time that will be gone 18. the leaves do fall down 19. the daringness of youth— 20. the morning will come in cold 21. in the dark the mountains loom 22. the story tells itself. the mountains 23. sometimes the presents of the past are never known 24. i grieve like you. i cannot say 25. i am loose ended and distracted. all my time 26. i’m still learning to hear how the music is made 27. i think i’ll be crawling to tomorrow. 28. i don’t think there have been enough heartbeats. 29. i keep waiting for a day to come 30. i love to welcome people in on my terms. 31. i’ve asked the ghosts to visit.

November 1. We move on heartbeat by heartbeat. 2. i wish it did not matter 3. night comes quickly. here i am 4. there is something touching my soul 5. what a pleasant dream that future was— 6. there is a satisfaction in the way the wind moves leaves— 7. time to go back to dreaming. 8. turn the night off. let me forget 9. do i not have to live like this? 10. this is holy, music 11. i choose and chose and make my choices 12. why does everyone want my future 13. the time streaks by 14. i want a world that fits my feet. 15. The rain is coming down. Becoming something new 16. a silver earring, fallen 17. when the red line breaks into sunlight, crossing the river 18. three thousand miles away from home 19. the many types of glow— 20. the trees are full of screaming birds. 21. i can’t refuse to dream. 22. there is beauty in the old clichés— 23. i have too much to say. 24. today was sweet in its displacement 24. this was good. we did not have 25. the twilight gloom is gathering 26. take my worries take my wonderings 27. i see now, how wonders matter 28. i’m glad this is where the present’s brought me. 29. The world is never so large as when I’m alone 30. i build armor out of walls

December 1. can i rest easy, take the compliment, 2. sometimes it all works perfect. 3. i need to remember walking away 4. Creation’s come to gnaw on me again. 5. today has sucked. 6. sometimes things go right. if this, then, is a mercy, 7. the time i’m losing—it will hurt 8. tremble at the darkening of years 9. i took the memories back, 10. warm and cold and bending— 11. the snow falls down and so we come 12. accomplishment or failure 13. my ears are talking to me 14. i forgot how pain devours 15. from grounded perch the cat surveys 16. crawling raindrops split the past to pieces 17. time meanders when i want it swift 18. open doorway of the night 19. i’m not getting older 20. the storm is not arriving yet. 21. i am ready to be tired. 22. the storm descends. i’ve lived through this 23. the ghosts are back. the time is gone 24. tomorrow we will try again 25. sometimes the only way to get home 26. warm rest and warmer yesterdays 27. perhaps the day will rise up kindly, 28. i am not quite home again. 29. merry met and merry partings— 30. open one handful of dust at a time, 31. the year ends much as it began.

[spicyveggiesub]

[ENG] Revue Starlight -The LIVE- #4 Climax Pamphlet Interview

Happy 6th anniversary to Revue Starlight! I managed to finish translating this interview just in time. Among other fun things, the cast of #4 left a message to each of their characters, and it's very sweet :') Translation under the cut.

Q.1

What do you think the highlight of this play is?

Mimori Suzuko: The brilliance of youth. The anxiety and anticipation of facing the future with graduation just around the corner! This world is huge, so do your best! Don't give up, Stage Girls! Without realizing it, you'll end up wanting to encourage them like that... for sure!

Kadoyama Yoko: After all, it's the Revue. It'll light a fire in the hearts of everyone who has watched and supported the plays up until now, without a doubt!

Ozaki Yuka: The theme is "Climax", so each of the Stage Girls must choose their own futures and part ways with their friends, and personally, I can relate to a lot of the feelings they're going through. Plus, there are interactions between members of the three schools of Seisho, Siegfeld, and Seiran that we haven't seen yet, so it'd be great if you paid attention to that.

Tomita Maho: It's "Climax", so there are a lot of moments that make you feel nostalgic. Please look forward to it! (laughs)

Iwata Haruki: Everyone's different paths! The different thoughts everyone's having with graduation just up ahead... and the Revue this time sure is a sight to see!!

Ikuta Teru: For Futaba, the highlight is that I'm using the most physical strength so far this time...! We're renewing the standard of what makes you feel like "there's no way Starlight can surpass this", and it's really difficult, but I'm able to feel the growth Futaba and I are experiencing together each time we practice, so every day is really fulfilling. I'll charge through with a fighting spirit!!!

Koizumi Moeka: Just like the title, it's loaded with a feeling of "Climax"! In #4, what will the Stage Girls fight against, and how will they overcome it? And there's maybe a Revue that will hit hard for the people who know about the plays so far...?

Q.2

Please tell us about your favorite song or line from the Starlight stage plays so far, as well as any related memories!

Koyama Momoyo: "Gunjou [Ultramarine]" from #2 is super super cool! It's so beautiful!!! Oh... Karen didn't sing in it, but... I watched over everyone from the back during every performance! I remember just itching to join in.

Koizumi Moeka: Through the words I said to Hisame-chan in #2, "It'll be colorful as always", I learned about Nana-chan's middle school days, and it gave me an opportunity to think once more about how Nana felt when she went to Seisho. She loves everyone in Seisho, but she also loves Hisame-chan, who she met in middle school.

Tomita Maho: I think it'd be "3･7･5･1･0", which we sang every time. When I hear it, it makes me feel like, "Stage Starlight is starting!"

Ozaki Yuka: "Grand Symphony", the curtain call song for Siegfeld's first stage play. During each performance, when all of our eyes met, everyone's expressions were brilliant, and I can't forget that moment. With the strong message of the lyric "I've made my decision to live on stage", it's a song that gives me a lot of encouragement.

Nomoto Hotaru: "I'll become the star of everyone's lives!", Yukishiro Akira's line from Delight. It makes me think "she's such an idiot~", but I can't hate her, and I can't help but think that it'll actually come true. I think it's a line that really represents Akira, and I've always loved it.

Itou Ayasa: The song "Position Zero e! [To Position Zero!]" from #1 is catchy, and the acting-like choreography was fun, so it left a deep impression on me. The lyric "I want to aim even higher" was so memorable that I thought the title was "I want to aim higher". (laughs)

Shiina Hekiru: The line "No matter which path you choose to advance on, the curtains of your lives will remain open". Once they enter this industry, these kids in the same class will make different decisions for their lives and go their separate ways. It's up to each person which path they choose, and there's a sight they can only see after they've made that decision.

Q.3

Episodes about your graduation ceremony/memories of graduation

Koyama Momoyo: Just like how Karen looked up to Starlight, I also had a play that I'd admired since I was a child, and the final audition for that play overlapped with my high school graduation ceremony...! I chose the audition, and in the end, I successfully passed. I was set to appear in the play of my dreams! I remember thinking, "You really don't know when your life is going to change, huh..."

Sato Hinata: On the day of my elementary school graduation, I didn't have any stick-on body warmers at home, so I attended with a non-sticky warmer on my stomach, and right before I received my diploma, it fell, and it was so embarrassing. I'll never forget it. I'll also never forget accepting the diploma while gripping the warmer in my right hand. 

Haruki Iwata: I happened to be working on my Bachelor's thesis during the #1 revival, and during rehearsals I had everyone from the cast and staff fill out the questionnaire for my thesis...! I graduated thanks to everyone's help!! (laughs)

Mimori Suzuko: On the day of my high school graduation, there was snow piled on the ground, which is rare for March in Tokyo, and before I got to school, I fell on my butt and my skirt was soaked through...! I borrowed a spare skirt from the nurse's office and participated in the ceremony. It was a girls school, but I was popular with my juniors (laughs) so after the graduation ceremony, all of the buttons on my blazer were gone. Even the buttons on my sleeves♪

[T/N: It's a middle/high school graduation tradition for girls to ask guys they like for the second button on their blazer (more here), but if you're as (understandably) popular as Mimorin that extends to the rest of the buttons too.]

Ito Ayasa: I did a homestay abroad for two weeks in March just before graduation, and having stuffed myself full with all the food there before coming back, the photos from my graduation ended up being something incredible (laughs).

Aiba Aina: I remember staying up until midnight putting on flashy false nails, and then waking up at 5 AM to do my hair and makeup by myself as best as I could, but then it was ruined pretty quickly when I cried.

Q.4

A message to the members of your school

Maho Tomita: Every time we spend time together for a play, I realize how truly happy I am spending time creating plays together with all of you! Thank you so much for coming into my life♡

Ikuta Teru: I  L O V E  Y O U  !!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET'S HANG OUT TOGETHER AS NINE AGAIN, OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aiba Aina: I really can't thank you enough for coming into my life and becoming my friends. Thank you so much. When I couldn't do various things, without caring about anything like age or background, everyone gave advice to everyone, and including the ensemble cast, I just love Seisho's vibes. Let's keep sticking together from now on and forever! J'aime beaucoup tout le monde! [I love all of you so much!]

Nomoto Hotaru: To the Edel juniors. Yuka-chan and I are both doing our best as Edels. Let's stand on stage together as five again.

Kadoyama Yoko: I love you. Let's keep standing on stage together.

Shiina Hekiru: Keep on struggling. And, do not regret the path you have chosen.

Q.5

A message to the character you play

Koyama Momoyo: To Karen. The view I see from the stage with you is always colorful and radiant. I'll work hard to not lose to your brilliance, Karen! From here on as well, let's continue leaping into a yet unseen, beautiful future together! From Momoyo.

Mimori Suzuko: You went off to London without telling Karen again, I see...! The way you always decide where to go based on however you're feeling—I don't have that kind of proactiveness, and it sure is incredible. And the teacher did say that actresses are always selfish, so I think it's a good thing.

Maho Tomita: Let's go eat some yummy baumkuchen next time!!!

Sato Hinata: To Junna-chan. I can still vividly remember the moment we met. Your personality was so similar to mine, and I was a kid who thought it would be easier to give up when I was losing to someone. Since then, over the years, I was able to see many of your expressions, and before I realized it, I had gained courage from you. In order to make a decision, you need to take a big step forward, and in order to take that big step, you need an even larger amount of courage. But, Junna-chan, you taught me that taking that step can allow you to feel how big the world is. Thank you so much!! And let's keep doing our best from here on out! I hope you will continue shining brilliantly on stage with wonderful friends.

Haruki Iwata: I think you're feeling unsure about a lot of things on your new path, but you're a Stage Girl who's many times stronger than you think you are! May you continue shining on stage with strength, lovingly, and beautifully.

Koizumi Moeka: A lot of time has passed since we first met, Nana. I wonder if I've grown a bit since I met you? Up until now and from now on as well, my star is Daiba Nana, you and only you. I'll work even harder in hopes of being able to stand next to you proudly one day. Please watch over me, always.

Aiba Aina: Thank you for always pushing me forward. It's thanks to you, Claudine, that I could meet treasured friends and staff members, and overcome various obstacles! I'm really, truly happy to be able to play you, Claudine. You're "the best woman in the world" in my heart! I'll continue to work hard while looking up to you! Merci♡

Ikuta Teru: Futaba, I truly think you're amazing for deciding to go to Seisho with just a single word from Kaoruko, and then graduating from there and aiming for a new stage with your own will. I'm always learning from your hardworking and single-minded attitude. I'll do my best with all my strength so I won't lose to you! Thanks for always showing me a wonderful view!

Ito Ayasa: With how strong you are at your core, I'm sure you'll be fine no matter where you go from here on, Kaoruko. I'm looking forward to seeing your beautiful dancing in the future as well! Almost as much as Futaba-han is, I'm your number one fan too♡

Nomoto Hotaru: You're wild and free, and just live honestly on the stage, and you're so annoying, but I love you!!

Ozaki Yuka: Michiru, having walked with you thus far, I have so much respect for you and your charming personality that's hard to guess from your appearance. Please allow me to continue portraying your thoughts about acting and feelings about Akira, as dearly as I can. I'll keep working hard and aiming for greater heights in sword fighting, dancing, and acting so you won't be ashamed of me, so even when you're in Germany, let's do our best together♪ I'm worried that people will see you as a kid in Germany, Michiru~(laughs)

Kadoyama Yoko: There are so many people in this world who love you. Be confident and push forward towards your dreams. I will always be on your side.

Shiina Hekiru: You're lucky to have such wonderful students. The things you can pass down to them because you're you—please wrap them up nicely with deep love and strictness.

(JP text)

[justa-sadjellyfish]

An intro post!!! (Finally)

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

hello!! you can call me jellyfish, jelly, anything along those lines I am fine with. :3

I’ve never really done anything like this so apologies if this is a bit random/all over the place.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .

Identity stuff!! Idk

Pronouns!!: He/Him, HOWEVER, if you are one of my moots who knows me irl, please please PLEASE refer to me as she/her when you are with me in person, as I am still working things out involving friends and family who may not be supportive.

Diff names you can call me by!: Jellyfish, Jelly, or Noa are all fine :3

I am a MINOR!!! 18+ can interact, but do not be weird or anything like that.

Some other stuff about me :3

★ Bisexual !! ★ American (German, French, and Swedish heritage)

★ I LOVE MY PARTNER @goobiegoo3000

★ Aries ♈️

★ devotee of Wiggly!! 🐙💣💵

★ Child of Aphrodite

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ Interests/Hyperfixations!!

★ Starkid musicals!! (Main ones are anything Hatchetfield, Holy Musical B@man!, and Trail To Oregon

★ Charlie and the Chocolate Factory!! (Every version EXCEPT Tom and Jerry wwatcf)

★ Little Shop of Horrors !!

★ Smosh !! ★ Ride the Cyclone !! ★Starlight Express!!

THE NUMBER 1 FAN OF SWEET TOOTH AND LINDA MONROE 🙌🙌

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Do Not Interact!!! ⚠️⚠️

★ Misogynists/sexists

★ Racists

★ homophobes

★transphobes/ anybody who has ANY issue with anybody’s identities whatsoever

★ Pr0shippers

And basically anything along those lines.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Tags I may use!!

#jellyfish and moots 🔥- posts involving my mutuals :D

#jellyfish reblogs- posts I reblog/posts that are not mine

#jellyfish answers- I answer inbox questions!

#jellyfish doodles- I occasionally do some fanart or js art in general and this is the tag for that :3

There are many more tags I have but I don’t exactly feel like including them right now, but they are pretty easy to find on my blog :D

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Thanks for reading!!

(Also, if you’re interested, I run a catcf confession blog!!! @the-catcf-confession-blog-ever :3)

[cconfusedkat]

Ok w the power of autism i have a list of au's i wish to make drawings for more one day

from normal au's related to game

mystic pursuit (main au i talk and draw for anyways) (mystic seller & lamb ocs centered + lamb/allure)

six sheeps of sanheim: a hypothetical au where if mystic never got involved with the murders of the six lambs and instead lived a normal life (which means pre hurt bishops & normal childhood of allure & their mother zainab)

bad ending au: if mystic got ahold of the archangelo's horn relic and eventually (quite literally) ending the world (extremely cheesy i know but its still rlly fun to think about

regretful war & regretful wisdom (goat + ram centered au with the one who wilts) (also the only au to be within ANOTHER au! Crazy) (<- mystic pursuit & rwrw go together basically)

plague et death (ewe centered au + the one who rots) (the one who rots is a toww kallamar , cuz her ears stapled to a post are her form of punishment)

pestical hymn (sozo vessel centered au + the poisonous one) (the poisonous is toww heket , sozo upset heket cuz he was supposed to be sent to a different god when being sacrificed but ended up in Heket's domain)

fool's fidem (toww leshy au but i cant rlly figure out much plot for it yet still)

a lamb's rat (lamb/allure toww au) (lamb imprisons knucklebones crew nd ratau has to save each of them but he doesnt know that lamb imprisoned them til the end)

vampyrs of the old faith (already drew for it but still I want to make more stuff) (essentially a vampyr au with four big coven powers of each vampyr bishop && vampyr hunters such as sozo/monch/forneus etc)

And like four other modern au's lmao- one is a rockstar centered au with its cheesiness as a plot, another is where the bishops nd lamb/goat/ram live until the modern era and begin adjusting to the 20th century, another two idk how to explain the plots of but its definitely there Somewhere

Nd then media related nonsense-

lamby playtime (poppy playtime au) (might have to go back nd forth to one of my friends for this au though) (hi jyoung im gonna bother you so much more about this au-)

cultist kindergarten (,,garten of banban au) (im so sorry its a special interest PLEASE blame my mascot plagued brain)

great cult of 1712 (self explanatory reference to great comet of 1812)

ghost au with the bishops as the papas (self explanatory)

sister location au (self explanatory)

slay the fleur (stp au ,, except its wiltgoat && it sorta explains their doomedness together dldkskdsl)

stex (self explanatory) (sorta) (no not really. Umm starlight express except lamb is rusty probably)

cats (musical) (nothing can explain this. Im so sorry) (blame jyoung again /j.)

hocus pocus au (self explantory)

epic au (sorta self explanatory)

Ok thats all i got o7 when i say this game has ruined my life I Mean It. Nine months of brainrot nd more unmentioned au's i think about a lot

[angelicvee]

anyone else but you

chapter 3: sometimes i just want to be alone... with you

wc: 1.9k

combining whiskey and mix cd's may lead to unwanted emotional conversations

“Annie come on it's been like two hours… let me play something else” Victoria groaned playfully, routing around in the backpack she had brought along with her. Rummaging through all the clothes and other more practical things she had packed. “There we go i found her”

“Her?” the blonde questioned with a look of confusion. “Please tell me you haven't had an animal hidden in your bag” she chuckled, delicate fingers running through her golden hair. Both girls had migrated from the floor to the comfort of the bed. Annie had sprawled on the bed, her golden hair fanned out across one of many pillows, a lazy smile playing on her lips. Victoria sat cross-legged beside her, eyes half-lidded but still sharp, watching Annie with a look that hovered somewhere between amusement and something else.

“Oh my god you are so annoying when you drink.. I'm never suggesting it again.” god she was so pretty. Annie could barely hide the wonder in her big brown eyes as she watched her friend. Was it even normal to look at a friend like that? She had no idea.. Well she kind of knew it wasn't but that was something she had been desperately trying to ignore.

Victoria, who was unaware of Annie's not so subtle staring, had finally reached over to swap the music that was playing. “So.. I'm not really into burning CDs because i'm not a nerd, so I just bought a few of my albums.”

“You know,” Annie started, her words slurring slightly as she twirled a strand of her hair, “I’ve always wondered… what it would be like to just… run away. Get out of here.”

The sudden topic change definitely caught Vic by surprise. She took a second before raising an eyebrow, leaning back on her hands. “Run away, huh? And where exactly would you go, Miss America?” Her tone was sarcastic, but there was a softness in her eyes that belied her usual sharp edges.

“Anywhere,” Annie replied, her voice a little quieter than usual. “Somewhere no one knows us. Somewhere we can just be… us.”

Victoria let out a short, dry laugh. “Us? I didn’t know there was an ‘us.’” She could feel her heart pounding a little faster, the alcohol making her more reckless, more vulnerable. She hated it. “You can’t run away.. Because the world needs starlight. How will vought ever choose you if no one can find you?” Neither of them could really leave. Victoria needed to stay with her father. She needed to become a politician, to help him with the endless stream of difficulties at vought.

Annie turned her head to look at her, brown eyes meeting that darker more sad brown in the dim light. There was a moment of silence, thick and heavy, hanging between them like a secret neither wanted to say out loud.

“Vic…” Annie started, but the words got caught in her throat. She wasn’t even sure what she wanted to say.

Victoria sighed, breaking the tension with a roll of her eyes. “You’re such a lightweight, Annie. You’ve had what, like two shots?”

Annie giggled, the sound high and carefree. “Three. But I’m still tipsy, so ha.”

“Tipsy and talking about running away together,” Victoria teased, a smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. “What’s next? Confessions of undying love?”

Annie’s laughter died in her throat, and she looked away, the sudden seriousness in her expression making Victoria’s smile falter.

“Don’t joke like that,” the blonde said softly, her fingers playing with the edge of the blanket.

Victoria’s smirk disappeared completely. She straightened up, feeling the shift in the air, the weight of what wasn’t being said pressing down on them. “Annie, I didn’t mean—”

“It’s fine,” Annie interrupted quickly, waving a hand as if to dismiss the tension. “I’m just being silly. Forget I said anything.”

But Victoria couldn’t forget it, even if she wanted to. She’d always prided herself on being able to read people, to see through the masks they wore. But with Annie, it was different. She was so open, so genuine, that it scared her, scared her because she knew the girl could see through her, too.

“You’re not silly,” Victoria said after a long pause, her voice uncharacteristically gentle. “You’re… you’re Annie. You’re…” She trailed off, searching for the right words and hating how hard they were to find.

Annie looked up at her, her doe eyes shimmering with something Victoria couldn’t quite name. “I’m what?”

Victoria hesitated, the words she wanted to say lodged in her throat, tangled up with fear and doubt. She wanted to tell Annie everything how she made her feel safe and alive and terrified all at once. How she couldn’t stop thinking about her, even when she tried. How being around her made her feel like she was on the edge of something big, something important, something that could either lift her up or destroy her completely.

But instead, she just shrugged, her usual sarcasm slipping back into place like a well-worn mask. “You’re a lightweight, that’s what.”

—------

No amount of champaign could make this night better. Hughie had wandered off to god knows where, Victoria had been shooting subtle glances at the blonde way too much, and Annie had probably navigated around five different but equally misogynistic conversations with different politicians. All having opinions on everything. “You know, I never understood why you went back to your old suit..”

“You looked amazing in the newest seven movies.. You brought back the improved starlight suit.” it was all tiresome and a little concerning..

she tightened her grip on the flute of champagne, the bubbles rising lazily to the top as she smiled through another tedious conversation. The dim lighting of the ballroom glinted off the gold trim of her gown, but the fabric felt like a cage, stiff and restricting. She stole a glance at Victoria, who was only a few feet away, standing at the edge of a circle of men laughing a little too loudly. Her dark eyes met Annie’s for a split second before she turned her attention back to the group, smiling politely at something one of them had said.

The years had been kind to Victoria. Her tailored suit clung to her figure with a casual elegance that somehow still screamed power. Annie remembered that effortless confidence, the way it used to draw her in back when they were younger, before they were both caught in the whirlwind of their separate lives.

Annie took another sip of champagne, the dryness coating her throat. She could feel Victoria’s gaze on her again, a magnetic pull she tried to ignore. It was frustrating, that feeling of unfinished business, of words left unspoken. She looked around the room, her eyes flitting over the clusters of people mingling, laughing, talking over the soft hum of the live jazz band playing in the corner. Crystal chandeliers cast a warm glow over the room, reflecting off polished marble floors. Waiters in crisp white shirts glided past, balancing trays of delicately arranged hors d'oeuvres and glasses of amber-coloured whiskey.

She noticed a particularly loud laugh from one of the politicians she had spoken to earlier, a tall man with a booming voice and a handshake that lasted a bit too long. He was now animatedly recounting a story to a group of eager listeners. Annie felt a wave of exhaustion. This world was still foreign to her, despite everything.

Victoria approached, her own glass of scotch held gracefully in her hand. "Annie," she said softly, a small smile playing on her lips. "It's been a long time."

"Yeah, it has," Annie replied, trying to keep her voice steady. "You look... great."

Victoria's smile widened, and for a moment, it was as if they were back in high school, just two girls sitting alone in that old bedroom. "You too, I saw your latest movie. You were incredible."

Annie laughed, a bit nervously. "Thanks. It's all part of the job, I guess."

There was a brief, awkward silence as both women sipped their drinks, their eyes lingering on each other longer than necessary. Around them, the gala continued in its usual fashion, oblivious to the charged atmosphere between the two former friends.

They stood there for a moment, the silence between them heavy with all the things they hadn't said. Annie could feel the warmth of Victoria’s gaze, see the flicker of something regret? Longing? in her dark eyes. Though it was gone quickly. She had always been good at hiding things.

Victoria tilted her head slightly, a small, almost imperceptible movement, but it made Annie’s pulse quicken. "I heard you’ve been busy," her voice was somehow always smooth, although there was an undercurrent of something else, something that made Annie’s chest tighten.

"Yeah," Annie replied, forcing a smile. "The whole saving America and.. Well the butcher thing doesn’t leave much room for anything else."

"Of course," Victoria murmured, her eyes softening, as if she knew exactly what Annie was feeling. She took a step closer, her voice dropping lower, more intimate. "But you’re still the same Annie, aren’t you? The one who sees the good in everyone."

Annie swallowed hard, her heart hammering in her chest. In her mind they were back in high school again. They basically were, the dynamic was still the same as before, the same push and pull, the same unspoken tension crackling between them. The room around them seemed to fade away, the noise, the people, everything blurring into the background.

“I missed you,” Annie said quietly, surprising herself with the honesty of the admission.

Victoria’s smile softened, and for a moment, the polished politician slipped away, revealing the girl Annie had known so well. “I missed you too.”

The room seemed to fade around them, the noise dimming to a distant hum. For the first time that night, Annie felt like she could breathe. The tension that had been winding tight inside her began to unravel, but with it came the rush of everything she’d been trying to bury. The hurt, the confusion, the feelings she hadn’t been able to name back then and still struggled with now.

“I was really worried.. When I saw you at congress.” the blonde blurted out, her mouth seemed to be moving faster than she could handle. “I- well i don't know what i would have done if something happened to you.” god she was so sweet, so hopeful. The way she saw nothing but good in Victoria. It was.. Stupid really.

Victoria stepped back, the mask of the politician sliding back into place with practised ease. “I should get back,” she said, her voice steady but her eyes betraying the emotion she was trying to hide.

Annie nodded, her heart aching with the loss of the moment they’d almost had. “Yeah... me too.”

“You could have called.. When you left for that stupid hero group. You could have called me”

Annie stood in silence, forcing back tears as Victoria walked away, feeling the champagne buzz just a little stronger, the room just a little brighter. Hughie managed to have both the best and worst timing possible. Arriving shortly after to find a miserable looking Annie. All she really wanted was to leave that god awful event and either sink into the bed at home.. Or get hit by a car and pass in some freak accident. Honestly the car was looking pretty good to her.

[pastanest]

if you’re wondering why I’m having to repost this, or why you were perhaps previously following me but no longer are, please refer to this post. I was able to retrieve this thanks to the very lovely friends who have relentlessly sifted through tumblr archives to recover them, thank you all so much!! ♡

A Child Of The Stars

Your hands trace patterns in the snow on the balcony edge absentmindedly, your eyes watching them, but not focussing on their movements at all, because you are waiting. A gentle whisper reaches your ears, and your head lifts immediately, staring up at the night sky with a smile on your face.

“What says the stars this evening?” Thranduil questions curiously, his voice soft as he walks onto the balcony behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“They smile on us, my love.” You tell him, and his expression returns to its resting smile, the one he reserves only for you.

Thranduil takes ahold of your hand and gently leads you back inside, to the warmth of the castle, and with one final glance into the night, you follow him, sensing an echo of yourself remaining there, in the safety of the moonlight.

Once every ten thousand years, the stars gift this realm with a child. They are born at the highest peak of land, without a parent, but they are raised to be creatures of immense wisdom. With the voices of the stars guiding them, they learn all there is to know, and when they are ready, they descend the mountain, and seek a home with the many species that inhabit the world they have been placed on. The scrolls tell of these impossible children being immortal, and capable of magic beyond any other creature.

When you descended the mountain, you walked for miles, weeks went by, and you grew to understand the passing of time in a world that aged far faster than you did. You walked until you reached the grand gates of an elven kingdom, a species that recognised you and bowed to your feet the moment they saw you, but you implored that they never do such a thing. They ran to the newly crowned King, a cold elf who had never even dreamt of meeting one of the Star Born. He sprinted from his throne, desperate to gaze upon the purest of beings to ever exist in this realm, and when he saw you, his heart filled with an affection that remains unmatched and untainted to this day. The starlight in your eyes was enough to split his cold facade in two, revealing the elf who was so terrified of being a disappointment to his people.

The King pleaded with you to join his kingdom, to advise him, and when you countered his offer by instead becoming his friend, he was stunned into silence. A creature who sought to understand and help him without it being an official request? Truly, you were as benevolent as the legends said.

However, from the moment you met, you both knew that the friendship you were to form was soon to blossom into a love like no other. Five years passed in the blink of an eye, memories of your courtship blurring together in both mind and visual projection as tears filled your eyes, a bright smile lighting up your face as you walked towards the man standing ahead of his subjects, the man who was, from that day onwards, your husband.

Thranduil could not find words strong enough to express his joy. It almost skipped his mind that you were Star Born, for his joy was exponential from nothing more than marrying the love of his life. Of course, marrying A Child Of The Stars meant wonders for the kingdom, and the people of Middle-earth travelled far and wide to gaze upon the new Queen. Everyday Thranduil has spent with you has been a gift, and he will never let you forget that.

His smile as he leads you back inside is enough to remind you of his affections towards you, the kindness in his eyes as your kindered hearts beat for each other, and your spirits soar. Once you are under candlelight, and no longer under the safe cover of night, Thranduil acknowledges the bags beneath your eyes, and how weak your own smile appears to be. Releasing your hand, his fingertips caress the side of your face.

“What sickness is it that ails you, Melamin(my love)?” Your husband asks you, concern perfectly lacing into his every syllable.

“To be tired is not to be unwell, sweetheart, sleep will cure me.” You respond, hoping to reassure him of his concerns.

Thranduil sighs and nods, but says nothing as the two of you continue walking to your shared chambers. Over the recent months, your health has deteriorated, and though others had only begun to acknowledge the changes in you far more recently, your lifelong companion sensed the change in you from the day it began. He has watched in anguish as your hours of consciousness have lessened, and from the moment you wake, you force yourself to the balcony closest to your chambers, to listen to your kin, until you fall back into sleep, or until Thranduil finds you as he did on this night. He is at a loss, and has spent his days reading every scroll written on the Star Born in order to try and decipher what it is that is taking ahold of you. It is common knowledge that your kind do not feel sicknesses of other beings, for you are too pure to experience such misfortune. With this in mind, Thranduil has had no alternative but to call upon an old friend.

“I cannot express my gratitude for your swift arrival, Gandalf.” Thranduil embraces his friend, a practise unfamiliar among elven monarchs, which told the wizard just how painful this was for him.

“Where is she?” Gandalf enquires as they pull apart, a sense of urgency in his voice.

Without any further delay, Thranduil nods and leads with haste, to the chambers where you continue your rest.

Sensing the presence of a being of magic, your tired eyes flutter open, but it is straining on you to open them completely, and you are forced to see through lidded eyes.

“Friend, Gandalf, what brings you here? It has been an age since I saw you last.” You sigh, a weak smile gracing your sickly pale features as Gandalf kneels at your bedside.

He takes ahold of your hand, and his eyes fill with sorrow “Your condition is far worse than I had feared.”

Thranduil sits beside you on the bed, brushing strands of your hair away from your face, before he takes your other hand “She does not speak of a condition that pains her, Mithrandir(Grey Pilgrim), and I feel utterly helpless. What is happening to my wife?”

Gandalf is thoughtful for a moment, choosing his words carefully, and then meeting your eyes “You have been spending more time with the stars recently, what have they been telling you?”

Tears cloud your already limited vision “Their voices are so quiet, but oh, Gandalf, they weep, they weep until I am outside with them, and only then do they smile.”

The wizard’s countenance is grim “It is as I thought.”

Thranduil raises his eyebrows in shock and desperate curiosity “I plead for your truth, old friend!”

For the first time since entering the royal chambers, Gandalf meets the King’s eyes “Thranduil, your wife’s life force is leaving her. Every time she steps outside, a little more of her soul escapes her, to rejoin her kin, because their connection to her is fading. She has been away from the mountain for too long, and the stars cannot reach her, and so...they are trying to bring her home to them.”

Your tears finally break past the metaphorical barriers you had set in place, and Thranduil wipes them awah before they reach the bed covers. He speaks to Gandalf, but his sad eyes never stray from yours, and he is forced to accept the sight of the one symptom he had tried his best to ignore: the starlight in your eyes was almost completely gone.

“What can be done?” Though Thranduil’s words pose as a question, they come across as a fortified statement, because he is certain that whatever can be done, will be done.

“You must take her to the mountain on which she was gifted to this realm, let her kin connect with her again. Thranduil, you need to understand that your wife is already clinging to life, and the journey alone will expose her to the outside world for an amount of time that could allow her kin to take her back entirely. If she survives the journey, I cannot assure you that the stars will allow her to stay here. Her fate rests as it always has: with those who placed her here.” Gandalf explains, his tone careful in the presence of the King who is infamous for his short temper, but that short temper is erased from existence whenever he is around you.

The King feels the unfamiliar sensation of tears stinging his eyes, and he sniffles in an effort to hold back his anguish from engulfing him. You squeeze his hand weakly, using the little strength you have left to smile up at him. Gandalf places a hand on Thranduil’s arm comfortingly.

“She is far stronger than her weakened physical body would lead you to believe. Believe in her.”

Despite previously believing that he was unable to tear his gaze from you, Thranduil meets Gandalf’s eyes with a fiery sense for certainty.

“I have never believed in anything more than her.”

[blasterb0t]

Hello! I'm finally making a pinned now that I mainly /do/ post on tumblr, so welcome to my account!

My name is Moe and I am currently a sophomore in college studying Zoology! I have my welding certification and I want to get into forestry or wildlife conservation education! OTHER: -> Currently, I am fine with any pronouns, or if you want any specifics feel free to just ask! -> In my free time I post, it may be more or less often as around 2-3 times a day that I doodle or work on animal drawings, so please don't worry if I don't post/post too much!! -> I am from the rural south, so I might not be as polite when it comes to discourse or disagreements as I'd like, but please be aware I also take everything more seriously if things are worded that way! If you have any issues with me, please bring them up to me personally and we can talk it out and figure out a solution together! -> The main topics of what I post here may change, disappear, reappear quickly, I get easily heavily invested in media and I love talking with others about my interests. Currently they are: Mustelids, Starlight Express, Country Music, Transformers, and various games I play with my friends & Family! -> My carrd can be found here! and if you would like to find me on any other socials they can be located here! Though my discord is only handed out through dms to mutuals :) -> During breaktimes, I work as a ski tech [winter] and a Doggy Daycare Attendant [summers] so I might not be as active during those seasons! DNI: <- Basically just MAPs/Zoos/bigots/anything along those lines, I'm not that picky! BYF: <- PLEASE be aware of things that I may post, though it is not often I will draw/yap about Dead Animals/Taxidermy/Hunting + Former Alcohol/Drug use + Various dangerous activities or my meds That is all I really have to share on this pinned, please feel free to dm/ask if you would like to know anything more about me/my art/etc or just want to chat in general! I love yapping and I am from yapsville with a doctorate in yapping.

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