#non-libidoist

[pixelartparker]

A fun little divider I made for myself :)

These are the Aroace and Non-Libidoism flags ^^

I also made a gif version:

Feel free to use if you want!

(What other flags should I make dividers for?)

[imoga-pride]

CW: includes topics of s*x and ma*tur*ation

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So not long after I started hormones, I wasn’t really interested in sex anymore. My libido has shot WAY down and it wasn’t even that high before.

It’s come up a little bit recently, but I’ve noticed that I much prefer to use my *ahem* toys..rather than intercourse with my partner now.

My ultimate question is if there’s an identity that fits this?

Fluxo or non-libidoist? Autosexual/autoerotic or solosexual? Esthesiosexual or juxtasexual? Feel free to add -flux or -flexible with the prefixes.

[gaypleasantview]

⋆˖⁺‧₊☆ we were in screaming color. // Pride Set #1 ☆₊‧⁺˖⋆

Set includes:

⋆ peachyfaerie's Pride 2022 Collection, converted from TS4

Link, swatch and more info under the cut ♡

Hi people! Happy Pride!!

I thought this could be a good reason for me to finally dust off a bunch of cute WIPs and things I'd been meaning to convert. I think pride flags are joyful reminders of how many sides human identity might have, and this set includes, in my opinion, an incredible variety of flags. I hope it will add something nice to your game :)

Everything is tooltipped, compressed and comes with thumbnails.

Credits: peachyfaerie for all of the textures, @paluding for The Tattooer as usual, this source for the graphics in the post

♡ Download ♡

All of the files are labeled, so you can choose which flags you would like to have in your game.

SFS | Mediafire

♡ Swatch ♡

Flags included, left to right:

Row 1: lesbian, rainbow (bright & pastel options), bisexual/-romantic (bright & pastel options), transgender, non-binary, intersex, genderfluid

Row 2: genderqueer, agender, gay, sapphic, achillean, polysexual/-romantic (bright & pastel options), demisexual, demiromantic

Row 3: asexual, graysexual, grayromantic, pansexual/-romantic (bright & pastel options), demigirl, demiboy, reciprosexual, reciproromantic

Row 4: cupioromantic, lithosexual, libidoist, polyamorous (two design options), ambiamorous, autosexual

⋆ Individuality Eyeshadow - CU-EU

⋆ Truth Highlighter - CU-EU, layerable

⋆ Unique Eyeliner - CU-EU

[isobug]

Erosous Ace

An Ace / Acespec person who participates in or enjoys Erosy / Erosous activities, partnerships, etc.

Similar to Non-celibate Ace as a concept but covering everything Erosy includes ( affection, amory, amato-relationships, gamy, practice, acts, sex drive/life, libido, desire, stimulus, erotic love, etc. )

It may be used alongside or in place of other terms which it has overlap with! This may include Sexuace, Libidoist Ace, etc.

Inclusive of both Polyerosous Aces ( Polyeraces ), Monoerosous Aces ( Monoeraces ), and those who are Ambierosous !

( definition given by anon, I also talk a bit about it here )

For the flag I used this Asexual / Asexual spectrum flag by potionflags because it was easier to blend with the pink and red stripes. Those stripes are both inspired by these Polyerosous flags, the Ambierosy flag, and this Erosoplatonic flag!

Taglist - @radiomogai, @revenant-coining

[sachkenntnis]

any other non-libidoists (ppl who don't experience sexual arousal) out there who feel like, though they're undoubtedly missing out on a lot of the fun of sex, they have a better understanding than most people of the different "layers" of horniness/the Abstract Sexual Mood, or rather a better understanding of the psychological side of sex in its distilled essence, since they can be very much "mentally aroused" without any physical sensations attached to it?

like...i can very much feel mentally turned on and enjoy sex and be in a sexual mood, i can co-create phantasies and play with my partner and be excited and know what to do and what to say and have fun while doing it... it's just that my body doesn't feel any different... and touching my genitals feels the same as touching my knee lol. and i have no fucking idea what an orgasm feels like and probably never will. and it's been a year since i even attempted to masturbate (gave up after a minute lmao).

but i just feel like it would be harder for most people to differentiate these layers (mental vs physical arousal) bc they probably tend to always experience them at the same time? soo...maybe our unique perspective is epistemologically valuable, too? lol

[grison-in-space]

Yes, and: that history post does a good job of confirming that asexual people, or at least the concept of asexuality, is indeed much older than the Internet. It wasn't invented for or by the Internet.

But I always think of two things when I think of that history. One is this: I have been in asexual communities long enough to have met at least half a dozen people who independently invented that concept for themselves to explain their own experiences, generally either with the term "nonsexual" or "asexual." (It's actually a pretty even split.) That I'm not one of them is more a matter of chance than anything else; I encountered the concept of asexuality some time in early 2005, when I was fourteen, so I had the option of considering it as something I might turn out to be pretty early on.

Asexuality, bluntly, is not a hard identity to conceive of. In fact, it's the most natural thing in the world to follow from the medicalizing invention of homosexuality as a condition to heterosexuality in opposition, and then the invention of bisexuality (and, subsequently and with some games of telephone involved, pansexuality) to break up that binary. Before those photos got discovered of people identifying or inviting other people to identify as asexual, there was the 1977 Storms model of sexuality that marked off a whole quadrant for asexuals. So I think of that.

The second thing I think of is: we don't have any evidence that I'm aware of that directly connects the people in those photos to, say, the Haven For the Human Amoeba group that became the modern asexual community. (This is the group that spawned AVEN... and a few other spaces, some of which have now collapsed and some of which are simply small and quiet.)

Are inventions and re-inventions of the same concept in continuity with one another? Is the invention of a sexual orientation the invention of a concept, or is it the development of a tradition, a conversation, a network of humans communicating with one another to build a shared identity? Did Nat Titman (who wrote AVEN's definition of asexuality) inherently shape what it means to be asexual by laying those words down? Would I have been different if the Non-Libidoist society had won early battles over self definition? (They're the reason that the unicorn never became a major community symbol in the English speaking community: they'd claimed it for their very exclusionist vision of what asexuality could or would mean, and it left a bad taste in many mouths.)

Are we the word, or are we the concept, or are we the people?

Because look, when I think of what it means to be queer, I think of rainbows and thrown heels and the grief of pink triangles. I think of the grief of AIDS and how people responded. I think of the defiant joy of dance halls and drag balls, the mad rushes to altars when rights crash down on you like an unexpected but dearly beloved wedding guest.

Some of these things I have lived through. Some I haven't. But they are a litany of the shared touchstones of a community of people flowing through time. They are the touchstones of a community that recognizes its own and is recognized in turn, albeit messily and with more than a little argument.

If you take that definition of the asexual community, we did rise on the Internet—although our brothers and sisters and siblings with roots in bisexual liberation have certainly informed the directions we've traveled along the way. I have been maintaining for decades that the concept of "romantic orientation" in the ace community was sometimes called "affectional orientation" when I was younger, which is the name the concept has in bisexual liberation groups; certainly that was a piece of the background that David Jay brought to AVEN, and Nat Titman, and more than a few others. We didn't come out of nowhere.

But I do think the Internet is what gave us the critical mass that let us find one another to become a community in our own right, not just a theoretical concept. Do you know how much more powerful a definition becomes once two people agree on it, not just one? Without the Internet, we have no community, just a scatter of isolated independent ideas. Perhaps in another universe the community rose up a different way, but in ours, this is where its footprints lead.

I'm okay with that. I don't think we need an origin "farther back." But that's the magic of considering sexual orientation itself as a cultural construct allowing humans to understand sexuality rather than a natural division in its own right: it gives you the freedom to both see your own face in the faces of history, and the freedom to understand how you might shape your own construct better to fit yourself (or humans in general) moving into the future.

A thought I’ve been having: While it's important to recognize the long history of many current queer identities (and the even longer history of people who lived outside of the straight, cis, allo “norm”) I think it's also important to remember that a label or identity doesn't have to be old to be, for lack of a better word, real.

This post that i reblogged a little while ago about asexuality and its history in the LGBTQ+ rights movement and before is really good and really important. As i've thought about it more, though, it makes me wonder why we need to prove that our labels have "always existed." In the case of asexuality, that post is pushing back against exclusionists who say that asexuality was “made up on the internet” and is therefore invalid. The post proves that untrue, which is important, because it takes away a tool for exclusionists.

But aromanticism, a label & community with a lot of overlap & solidarity with asexuality, was not a label that existed during Stonewall and the subsequent movement. It was coined a couple decades ago, on internet forums. While the phrasing is dismissive, it would be technically accurate to say that it was “made up on the internet.” To be very clear, I’m not agreeing with the exclusionists here—I’m aromantic myself. What I’m asking is, why does being a relatively recently coined label make it any less real or valid for people to identify with?

I think this emphasis on historical precedent is what leads to some of the attempts to label historical figures with modern terminology. If we can say someone who lived 100 or 1000 years ago was gay, or nonbinary, or asexual, or whatever, then that grants the identity legitimacy. but that's not the terminology they would have used then, and we have no way of knowing how, or if, any historical person's experiences would fit into modern terminology.

There's an element of "the map is not the territory" here, you know? Like this really good post says, labels are social technologies. There's a tendency in the modern Western queer community to act like in the last few decades the "truth" about how genders and orientations work has become more widespread and accepted. But that leaves out all the cultures, both historical and modern, that use a model of gender and sexuality that doesn't map neatly to LGBTQ+ identities but is nonetheless far more nuanced than "there are two genders, man and woman, and everyone is allo and straight." Those systems aren’t any more or less “true” than the system of gay/bi/pan/etc and straight, cis and trans, aro/ace and allo.

I guess what I’m saying is, and please bear with me here, “gay” people have not always existed. “Nonbinary” people have not always existed. “Asexual” people have not always existed. But people who fell in love with and had sex with others of the same gender have always existed. People who would not have identified themselves as either men or women have always existed. People who didn’t prioritize sex (and/or romance) as important parts of their lives have always existed. In the grand scheme of human existence, all our labels are new, and that’s okay. In another hundred or thousand years we’ll have completely different ways of thinking about gender and sexuality, and that’ll be okay too. Our labels can still be meaningful to us and our experiences right now, and that makes them real and important no matter how new they are.

We have a history, and we should not let it be erased. But we don’t need a history for our experiences and ways of describing ourselves to be real, right now.

[sdrawkcabgnirebmemer]

What's the difference between sexual attraction and psuedosexual attraction if you don't really want to engage in partnered sexual activity either way? /gq

I think I may be either psuedosexual or orchidsexual, but I'm unsure of which one fits better.

Up until recently I'd assumed that I was stereotypically aroace, but upon meeting one individual woman I experienced sexual arousal for the first time. I was previously a non-libidoist prior to making her acquaintance.

Sometimes I fantasize about various forms of fornication with this one particular woman, but I do not think the idea of actually persuing said fantasies is for me...

Do the actions taken in regards to said arousal make a difference?

[pixelartparker]

Parker's Intro Post :)

Hi there! My name is Parker and I love to make pixel art ^^

I’m on a break from making art and am not taking requests ^^ But please feel free to send me a message or ask a question!

Divider made by me ^^

Here are some facts about me!

I'm 26!

Sex-Repulsed Aroace!

Non-Libidoist!

I go by any pronouns ^^

Gemini!

Lefty!

My favorite color is blue! (Panther Blue to be exact! HEX code #0085CA Keep Pounding!)

I'm getting ready to apply to my Dental Hygiene program. I got a really good score on my TEAS exam and just have to finish a few pre-reqs before I start. I'm so excited!!!

I love Resident Evil, Marvel, DC, Animal Crossing, Pokemon, Wednesday, and anime. I'm obsessed with tons of other stuff too. Ask me about what I'm into! We might have something in common!

I love to make friends so please reach out if you want to chat :)

Here are the rules and things you need to know about this blog!

No creepy DMs or asks please. You'll just be blocked.

I reserve the right to decline any request.

I support human artists not AI! If I have accidentally reblogged something that is AI generated please let me know so I can delete it!

I use Aseprite and highly recommend it!

Only canon characters. No OCs or fanart sorry!

Reblogs are more helpful than likes! Thank you!

I stand with Palestine. Daily Click Reminder!

Black Lives Matter.

Indigenous Lives Matter.

End racism, ableism, transphobia, aphobia, and homophobia.

No TERFs, bigots, or gender-criticals allowed.

No zoos, MAPs, or child predators allowed. I will report you if I am made aware of your account.

I hate cops.

Safe space for minors. A completely SFW art blog!

Parker :)

[mdogatinlayothree]

This is interesting. I don't know much about this label, this is the first I've heard of it, so please forgive me (and correct me) if I write or make anything that's incorrect/offensive <3

The AI definitely derived that from the bi flag but the colours are a bit distant from the colours on the bi flag, especially the pink. It could be a way of distinguishing it from bisexuality, maybe a step further on from biromantic which uses a faded pink in the back and a heart on top:

So if you were to line all three of those up, the connection to bi-ness might be a little more obvious but the AI's flag on its own doesn't really give me the vibe?

Then again, the aroace flag doesn't exactly scream "ace" and "aro" at first glance but the connection to both is absolutely there (colour wheel stuff) so there's that.

I had a look myself and found a reddit post from 2 years ago by u/King_Of_Forks and this is what they did (combine bi and tertiary attraction):

It's a nice flag but I've edited it to keep the tertiary attraction colours consistent and also the bar width:

But if we want to go in the triangle direction with the AI, and make it follow on from the direction that biromantic went in, there could also be something like this:

And I would say this looks rather loosely aego but the triangle in the middle of the aego flags is pointing downwards and the colours are also reversed. But aego identities are also aspec, and quite a few aspec flags contain triangles (demi, spike, [non-]libidoist, and probably more that I don't know, and the overall a-spec flag isn't a million miles away from resembling four triangles stuck together into a star), so maybe the triangle idea isn't too bad either. So that's my take on this :D

yo. One of the labels I use is bitertiary (along with oriented Aroace and aspec) which basically means I experience tertiary attraction to more than one gender with preferences (idk what genders just whoever I find pretty but especially girls/femmes). But couple things: based on a google search there really isn’t a flag and idk anyone else who identifies this. Anybody have any ideas for flags? I would love ur take on bisexuality except it’s only tertiary attraction! Thx byeeeeeeeee

Edit: I asked an ai to design a bitertiary flag and it came up with this:

In the ai’s words:

The flag consists of three equal horizontal stripes, with the top stripe being pink (#ffc0cb), the middle stripe being purple (#800080), and the bottom stripe being blue (#4a90e2).

The pink stripe represents attraction to women and femme-presenting individuals, while the blue stripe represents attraction to men and masc-presenting individuals. The purple stripe represents attraction to non-binary and androgynous individuals.

In the center of the flag is a yellow (#fff200) triangle, pointing upwards, which represents the various forms of tertiary attraction.

[themogaidragon]

Non-Libidoist

Non-Libidoist is a term to refer to people without an active sex drive (libido), and one who does not experience sexual urges or desires, regardless of orientation. They typically do not masturbate, have sexual relationships, or participate in sexual acts, as they have no desire to do so. The term is often used by asexual people as a large percentage of asexual people are non-libidoists, though non-libidoist is not synonymous with asexual. Some asexual people may still have a sex drive (libidoist), though they do not feel sexual attraction. Additionally some allosexual people may be non-libidoists.

[fuckyeahsexeducation]

Asexuality and Sex Education

A big goal of mine is to make the sex ed I teach to be inclusive towards people who are asexual or anywhere in that spectrum, as well as people who have no interest in ever having sex or don’t experience having a sex drive. Of course part of that is just the education that defines these things and makes sure people are aware that asexuality doesn’t necessarily mean no sex drive, or that people who don’t want sex automatically don’t experience attraction. There are curricula out there that do make sure to go that far. However, it feels like when talking about everything else involved in sex education people get left out. I get asked the question “Well if they’re asexual, why do they even need sex education?”

First off, it’s important to realize that sex education includes:

Forming Values

Healthy Relationships

Communication

Consent

Safer Sex

Intimacy

Self Esteem

Sexual Behavior

and much more

So I’m asking the question now:

Dear those who are asexual, demisexual, grey-a, sex repulsed, non-libidoist, both those who have sex and those that don’t;

What do you wish that you could have gotten as far as sexuality education in all its forms when you were a teenager? What do you wish other people would know about you and others like you?

[thenwethrowitonthefire]

I once saw people without sex drive getting referred to as non-libidoists. As an ace without sex drive, I must say I loved that and still do. To me it feels like that describes me even better than saying I'm ace.

Aces without sex drives are also valid!!!

I keep seeing posts specifically saying “aces still have sex drives/participate in sexual activities too!!!” but based on like every census survey I’ve seen most aces are sex-repulsed. And it’s very very harmful to those aces if you basically tell people that they SHOULD still have a sex drive or that they’re technically still able to enjoy sex without also mentioning MANY of us don’t and can’t and don’t want to, and we’re valid too.

[aspecpridecalendar]

Welcome to Aspec Pride Calendar!

Calendar Updated 6/27/22: The only change is 6/30 (originally "Loveless, lovepunk, & lovequeer") being split into two days. 6/30's theme is now "Loveless aromantic," and 7/1 will be "Lovepunk" (with several other terms listed as similar/related).

I created this blog to celebrate aspec identites and experiences during Pride Month. We're too often left out of other celebrations, especially arospecs, and even apart from that, we just deserve to be celebrated! I'll be posting a celebratory post each day for the day's identity/identities along with flags and definitions as well as likely reblogging other posts related to those identities. I also encourage you to participate by creating posts celebrating those identies. Anything goes - original content like stories, poems, personal posts, crafts and fan content like fic, art, headcanons, recs, edits - and anything not listed! Just tag the blog @aspecpridecalendar and/or mention it in the tags, and I'll reblog your contributions.

Because I unfortunately didn't get this idea until later in the month, the event will start tomorrow (June 9th) and run through the end of the month. If there's interest, when we come back next year, we'll do the whole month and include even more identities! :) Without further ado, here's the calendar itself (click for larger size and better quality, and please let me know if there are any flag errors):

(ID: a calender showing the last four weeks in June. Each day is labeled with the identities below and the matching pride flags.)

9th - Arospec / aromantic spectrum 10th - Acespec / asexual spectrum 11th - Aromantic 12th - Asexual 13th - Grayromantic / graysexual 14th - Demiromantic / demisexual 15th - Lithromantic / lithsexual 16th - Frayromantic / fraysexual 17th - ARCromantic / ARCsexual (averse, repulsed, or conflicted) 18th - Aegoromantic / aegosexual 19th - Quoiromantic / quoisexual 20th - Cupioromantic / cupiosexual 21st - Aroflux / aceflux 22nd - Libidoist 23rd - Nonlibidoist 24th - Aroallo / aromantic allosexual 25th - Aroace / aromantic asexual 26th - Alloace / alloromantic asexual 27th - Non-SAM aro / non-SAM ace 28th - Queerplatonic 29th - Oriented aroace / angled aroace 30th - Loveless aromantic 1st - Lovepunk

[wuxian-vs-wangji]

Why does libidoist-asexual say "ONLY ASEXUAL FLAG"?

That’s a note to me saying that flag is just the straight-up asexual flag (I couldn’t find a libidoist asexual one but I DID find the non-libidoist). It’s just saying when I post it to either add an asterix into the graphic I have itself or make a note in the caption to make it clear that is NOT the specific libidoist asexual flag.

I thought about just putting it on the general pride flag like I used for other ones I didn’t have a flag for, but it is part of the Ace spectrum specifically, so I figured the overarching Ace flag  was a better choice.

[aceadmiral]

Hello, hope you are well

I've been reading your (at time of writing) most recent post regarding the sunset aroace flag. Thanks for making it first off, it's really important to raise

Nonetheless, I'm messaging because i wanted to ask what you're referring to with asexual elitism. There's absolutely no obligation to reply or expend energy explaining this to me, but you write as though its an established thing, so I've clearly missed something. I've done some research, but I can't find anything particularly recent, and I am unsure as to how what I have found relates to the sunset flag, so I'm not sure if I'm on the wrong track entirely or if I'm just missing the connection?

Again, no obligation to reply and I'm sorry if this causes offence or isn't something you want to answer.

Hi anon! Thank you for reading my post, and sorry for the delayed response to your ask; I wanted to makes sure to give it the time and attention it deserves.

For the tl;dr inclined among us, "asexual elitism" is a construction of a hierarchy among aces based on the person's proximity to normative romantic/sexual relationships, with the type of people being referenced with the "sunset" flag at the top of the heap and classes below variously including sex-favorable aces, aces who have or have had sex, "libidoists" and/or people who masturbate, non-aromantic aces, and most especially gray-aces particularly demis. These beliefs typically originated in a resentment of and/or disdain for sex (and by extension non-asexual people) as base, animalistic, dirty, etc.; aces who were not like them were "tainted" by this baseness as well. The outcome of such attitudes could range from unconscious expressions of derision towards those aces they considered to be "less than" to full-on exclusionary and gatekeeping behavior.

I'm not particularly surprised you weren't able to find any recent sources, though, because the main time period of this conflict was in fact quite a while ago, reaching its apex in the latter half of the 2000s. That's why I framed it in the context of community memory; it was an active problem with an active reaction (directly pushing back and/or creating explicitly non-elitist communities) that has been essentially eclipsed by other concerns, both internal and external, that popped up in the 2010s. However, I agree with Talia in their 2012/2013 essay "Asexual Elitism is Alive and Well"** that while we did a pretty good job against overt elitism, there remained a passive (or, as they say, "hidden") strain that persisted. The fracturing of the community and consequential lack of strong community norms has, I believe, led to the situation we see now where people are reproducing these beliefs with little critical examination.

I think it's relevant to bring up specifically asexual elitism and not a more modern alternative like "exclusionist" or "gatekeeper" to include that behavior that doesn't necessarily rise to the level of saying "this person is not a 'true' asexual" and remind people of how destructive it can be and has been in the past. Especially because I also see an pattern of people recently taking stock of all we've lost to harassment from outside our community but concluding that all of our ills are their fault. While I certainly would assign them the blame, it's prudent for us to recognize the ways the lingering effects of elitism and its ilk shaped our reaction and rhetoric.

Hopefully that is a helpful explanation! But if not, I am happy to clarify. Thank you for the question!

**BTW, as a little but of trivia, I believe this is the essay that finally coined the term "sex-favorable." If you want to read the AVEN thread Talia references in the piece, it's here. In googling it for the link I also came across this contemporaneous reaction as well.

[stanley578]

Today's my birthday!!! 🎂🎉🎊

Not only have I officially turned 30 years old, but it's also the 4th anniversary of me coming out as non-binary and asexual (This month, I found out about the term libidoist asexual and I realized that's who I really am in the ace spectrum).

It's just a normal day for me since this bloody pandemic is not yet over. As usual, I deleted Facebook on my phone only for today to avoid the habit of constantly checking notifications of who greeted me.

I came up with my own birthday challenge by wearing high heels throughout the day, which was tiring but fun. I did this challenge because I want to experience the struggle women face in the corporate world. To know that it is mandatory to wear those particular shoes during work is a real pain in the ass and I completely sympathize with women who go through that on a daily basis.

I learned to love and accept myself and I've grown to become a better and wiser individual after going through a stressful and traumatic experience. I also learned to embrace sex positivity, became more open to talk about sex, and gained the courage to speak out against toxic purity culture and religious conservatism.

I'm not going to apologize for these things and for embracing my authentic self. I'm not going to hide anymore. I'm not going to be somebody that contradicts my true self just to make you feel more comfortable.

Setting that aside, I unfortunately lost the motivation to continue doing calligraphy and lettering because of the reel-favouring Instagram algorithm. I may be 30, but it's never too late to figure out what I love doing. After all, age is just a number and I won't let it be a hindrance to my progress. I have a long way to go in life and whether I like it or not, I'm going to make mistakes and learn from them as I move forward.